#forever missing this dean and cas

[fourevereatoncheesebuns]

.

#just watched a dean vienna edit and ahhhhh ahhhhhh ahhhhhhh #remembered what was important honestly #my other drafts which will never see the light of day are me screaming crying throwing up over a dumb man #not even fair to mention said dumb man in the same post as dean tbh #ANYWAYS I miss being hyper fixated on SPN and destiel like it’s always in the background of my mind #but sick absolutely sick I was out here being love sick over a real man #that ended up disappointing me like I knew he would #when hyper fixating on dean and cas is way more fun #not me watching one edit and silent screaming crying over it #and saying yes yes exactly #*this* is what life should be about #I should rewatch all of SPN again #these were my thoughts #yes I’m aware this is not very stable thinking looool #I’m like real relationships??? broke #will fuck you up for weeks and weeks no matter how insignificant (this was just me) #dean/cas???? forever does fuck me up bad but like a good way and even the bad way I have fanfic to fix it #sorry for another very unhinged post of me always ending w so anyways I miss dean and cas no matter wtf is happening in my life LMAO #if that doesn’t prove that dean and cas are the ones those bitches bc no matter what I’m going through I’m like I miss them #they are roots my home #love over sharing in the tags #I probably shouldn’t post this #but sometimes I regret that I didn’t post my love sick destiel one bc that one is funny af to read back in my drafts #I had the fattest crush ever and started experiencing lowkey love sick symptoms and the only reason I realized it #was bc it was a less severe version of love sick post nov 5 #the fact that nov 5 helped me realize what was going on w me when I had a reaaaal feelings for someonfor like the first time is peak comedy #hilarious #like what if I didn’t have the nov 5 love sickness experience huh??? #I literally would’ve been like wtf is wrong w me??? why am I not getting much sleep and my emotions are up and down #I would’ve thought I was going crazy but nah I was like oh I had this even more nov 5 we’re good we’re good hilarious

[angelsdean]

like i love to clown abt [redacted kisses] and all but i do believe 99% of the confession fuckery is rooted in editing around two things. 1) the fact that in the main takes of the scene dean and cas were standing MUCH closer to each other (and cas actually pulling dean close! maybe even a final hug), and 2) dean's more emotional reactions which jensen himself has said were cut. the clips where we see dean's eyes full of tears then suddenly dry. the clip from the promo where dean looks more shocked and distressed that never made into the scene. they were cutting around all that. zooming in sooo close to obscure how close they were standing in certain takes. also, editing things out of order. i knowww in my heart dean says "don't do this cas" before cas says i love you, not after. he's begging him not to do this thing that will take him away from dean forever. anyways, this is why everything looks bad. the choppiness, the ridiculous close ups and jumping from wide shots to close shots, the dean falling fuckery (we are missing bits! cas pulled dean close! not "held him at arms length." we don't fully see how he is pushed!) everything everything can be explained by, this scene was tender and emotional as fuck and they were standing CLOSE and network ppl saw that and went: HACK IT TO BITS!

#vic.txt #we're lucky we got what we got honestly

[lucidlivi]

Never Been You

Requested: @hzllxhoundxx

Everything Tag List: @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @perpetualabsurdity @antisocialcorrupt @heavenlyackles @anixiiee @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @deans-spinster-witch @k-slla @alternativeprincess @spnbaby-67 (if you'd like added to my everything tag list, please indicate by saying "please tag me in everything Jensen/Dean")

Warnings: Angst, Demon Dean, Kidnapping, Violence, Mature Themes, Demon Dean Being an Absolute Dick

Following S10 E2, S10 E3 (of course with my twist!)

I got carried away so this is a hella long one for you guys!

"you need to get to Beulah North Dakota now!" I rushed out to Castiel who was on the other end of the phone call.

"I do?"

"yes, Crowley and Dean were there, we have to pick up their trail."

I looked over to see Sam in the truck hunched over in pain.

"good, great."

I felt the emotions wash over me for what felt like the thousandth time since seeing the footage of Dean, our Dean, sporting black eyes. Castiel has no idea.

"Not exactly, Cas, Dean's a Demon." I said feeling the unshed tears slip from my eyes.

"Dean's a Demon? How?"

"It's the mark Cas, it messed him up, I don't know." I cried.

"that's a vast understatement." Castiel grumbled.

"look Cas, I know you're not feeling so hot right now, but I need you, it’s sort of an all hands on deck situation, so…"

"so I'll be there."

I hopped back in the truck I had rescued Sam in and continued to drive to North Dakota. I played through every scenario in mind of how this could go, and none of them ended well.

I needed to find Dean, I needed to help him.

"I got a lead, disturbance at a night club, a rowdy patron beat a security guard senseless. It sounds like a demon thing to do." Sam said looking at his phone.

"I guess let's check it out then."

It was still daytime when we were pulling up to the strip club.

Of course Dean would end up here.

"think that's the guy?" I asked Sam, looking at a muscular security guard who was wearing a sling identical to Sam's and had two black eyes.

"I would say it's a safe bet."

I stopped the truck hopping out, followed by Sam.

"excuse me sir, is this the guy who attacked you last night?" Sam asked straight forward, showing a picture of Dean.

"that's the guy, I called 911 but he was gone before they showed up."

Damn.

I didn't expect him to still be here, but it felt like a blow to the gut to actually hear it.

"that dude get to you too?" He asked Sam referencing his sling.

"uh no, this uh is just a hunting accident." Sam responded.

"would you do us a favor, if this guy shows back up, please give us a call." I said producing a fake FBI business card with my number on it.

"you bet."

"thanks."

I ran a hand through my hair with a huff before getting back in the truck.

"what now?" I asked, feeling the tears prick at my eyes again.

I couldn't bare the thought of Dean actually being a demon.

"I don't know." Sam said in defeat.

I drove the truck to a nearby motel, renting us a room. Sam had been through hell, he needed to rest. I helped him lay down on the bed, noticing his eyes get instantly heavy.

"I'll be right back, I'm just going to get something out of the truck." I told him, rushing outside.

As soon as I stepped outside, I heard a voice that made my blood boil with anger.

"hello there love."

I turned around to see Crowley with a smirk on his face.

"did ya miss me?"

I huffed in anger, reaching behind me to pull a blade from my belt loop.

"oh so much." I growled.

"easy now, I know you're here for Dean, and I'm here to give him to you."

Is this a trick?

I could never truly trust Crowley.

"I don't understand."

"you see he's bad for business, he's.. he's become uncontrollable, must be the mark.." Crowley trails off with a smirk.

"anywho Dean's your problem now, again, forever." Crowley added.

"then where the hell is he?" I snapped, not being able to contain my anger towards the king of hell.

"ah ah, first there's a small matter of my finders fee."

"nothing ever comes free with you, wouldn't have expected anything less."

****************************************************

I hesitantly walk in to the bar not knowing what to expect. I didn't even tell Sam where I was going. I knew he didn't have the strength to fight, and I didn't want him to get hurt.

"hiya angel." Dean said looking up at me with a smirk.

I felt my breathing get heavy as I looked at him. It was Dean in the flesh, but this thing was so far from Dean. Dean was brave, he was kind, Dean cared.

"I told you to let me go." Dean said picking up his glass of whiskey and sipping it.

"you know I can't do that Dean."

He smirked, taking another sip.

"by the way, your pal Crowley, he sold you out, didn't take him much." I said stepping a bit closer.

"sounds like him."

"Dean, we can cure demons, don't you remember that?" I asked taking another step closer.

Dean picked up the first blade, walking past me in a threatening manner.

"a little latin, lot of blood, yeah it rings a bell. but did you ever stop to think that if I wanted to be cured, I wouldn't have bailed."

"Dean that was Crowley, you don't know what you're doing."

"that's what you think." Dean said pouring himself another glass of whiskey.

"well it doesn't matter Dean, whatever happened, whatever went down, we will fix it." I said cautiously taking another step towards him.

"Oh will we? Meanwhile I'm doing all I can to not come over there and rip your throat out."

"Dean you don't mean that."

"I'm giving you a chance to run sweetheart, better take it." Dean threatened.

"I'll pass." I said quickly.

“I'm not walking out that door with you, I'm just not, so what are you going to do angel, huh? Are you going to kill me?" Dean asked.

I felt a chill run down my spine at the way he called me angel. It was laced with venom.

"I didn't come here to kill you."

"why? you have no idea what I've done, in fact I might have it coming."

"I don't care Dean, you're my best friend, and I'm here to take you home. I'm here to save you."

I wanted to admit so much more to him.

I wanted to tell him that it's because I was in love with him and couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I was worried now that I wouldn't get the chance too.

I heard Dean start to chuckle.

"save me? why would you want to save me? it's never been you, you know." Dean said taking a sip.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Dean got up sauntering his way over to me. I instinctively took a step back, not trusting him. I soon found out though, the more distance I tried to put between us the closer he got. I raised my hand up putting it on his chest to stop him from getting any closer.

Dean smirked at me before twisting my arm and bringing his hand up to my throat. He pinned me to the wall a twisted look in his eyes. I felt a chill run down my spine, he was getting pleasure out of this.

"I see the way you look at me, the way you lust for me, you want me." Dean smirked.

I glared at him, trying to turn my face away, his hold on my throat getting tighter.

"you don't want to kill me because you're in love with me, and you have been for quite some time, haven't you?"

I couldn't speak, Dean's hold on me was too tight. I furrowed my eyebrows as if to convey he wasn't right, even though he was.

"and its never been you for me.. you see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, i've been fucking everything with a heartbeat." Dean growled.

I could feel the tears brim my eyes as his words cut in to me. I knew he was just trying to hurt me, but part of me wondered if that's how Dean actually felt.

He let go of my throat, shoving me to the floor. I instantly stood back up taking out the handcuffs from my back pocket.

"you really think those are going to work sweetheart?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"well there's one way to find out."

As I took a step forward, the window shattered and the entire room started filling with smoke. I looked to my left to see someone had threw a smoke grenade. I felt the air rush from my lungs as I breathed in the smoke. I put my shirt over my mouth and nose, trying to find an exit. I started to cough, as my vision got blurry.

I finally found the emergency exit, pushing it open. I saw the silhouette of a man on the other side as I collapsed from smoke inhalation. He struck me across the face hard, causing me to fall back to the ground, hitting my head in the process.

I was seeing stars as I sat clutching my bleeding head. Dean came out glaring the man down. I heard them exchange some words, but couldn't make out exactly what they were saying.

I noticed myself start to slip in and out of consciousness.

I saw them start to fight, Dean clearly having the upper hand.

I felt like my head was on fire, as I glanced up seeing Dean holding the first blade to the guys neck. He was going to kill him. I was surprised when he dropped him, tucking the blade back in to his pocket. I tried to muster up any strength I could to get up, but my body was betraying me. Dean walked over to me, a sick grin etched on to his face as he swayed his hips.

"Dean please." I choked out.

"time to sleep now baby."

Dean raised his hand striking me, and that's the last thing I remember before my world went dark.

****************************************************

I was in agonizing pain as I fluttered my eyelashes open. I panicked as I couldn't move my body. I looked down to see my arms and legs were bound to a wooden chair. I gathered from my surroundings that I was in some kind of warehouse, but I didn't recognize where.

"oh good, you're awake."

Dean came over crouching in front of me so we were eye level.

"let me go." I growled.

"can't do that angel." He said caressing my cheek.

I quickly moved my head away, causing his hand to fall.

"you don't want to provoke me." Dean growled.

"or what? you're going to kill me?"

Dean gave a sickly sweet smile. He leaned in close whispering in my ear.

"or you're going to wish you were dead."

"I'm not scared of you Dean." I snapped.

Dean lets out a chuckle, standing to his feet.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you so much, feisty little thing."

"why don't you let me out of these ropes and I'll show you just how feisty I can be."

Dean chuckled again, grabbing a bottle of whiskey taking a sip.

"I don't even know why I'm talking to you, this isn't even the real you." I scoffed.

"oh it's the real me alright, the new real me, the me who sees things for what they actually are."

I scoffed again rolling my eyes at his words.

"hunters, do-gooders, fighting the natural order, well let me tell you something sweetheart people like me, we are the natural order."

"yeah well people like me still gotta do what we can." I growled.

Dean smirked as he crouched back down to my eye level.

"oh don't be so full of yourself baby, cause you see from where I'm sitting, there ain't much difference from what I turned in to, to what you already are." Dean smirked.

"and what is that supposed to mean?" I growled.

Dean took one hand resting on my cheek, the other on the back of my neck so I couldn't move away from him again.

"I know what you did when you went looking for me, how far you went." Dean whispered, dangerously close to my face.

I felt the guilt sink back in.

I just kept telling myself I did what I had to in order to find Dean. I felt my breathing quicken as Dean came in closer, practically brushing his lips against mine.

"so let me ask you baby, which one of us is really the monster?"

I felt the tears brimming my lashes as Dean stared at me. Dean smirked as he stood back up.

"Now you and Sammy were trying to get a twenty on Crowley and me from any demon you could snag, but Crowley didn't want to be found, and no one showed when you summoned. But you my angel, you found your own way didn't you?"

I was ridden with guilt as I remembered how I tricked Lester in to summoning a demon to make a deal.

"You would've liked to have gotten there before the deal went down but you didn't really care about poor ol' Lester did you? Oh and just so you know, I uh killed Lester myself." Dean smirked as if it were funny.

"I never meant.." I started to choke out but Dean cut me off.

"who cares what you meant, that line that we thought was so clear between us and the things we hunted, ain't so clear is it?" Dean yelled.

I bit my lip to stop the tears from falling.

"wow, you know, you might actually be worse then me. I mean you took a guy at his lowest, used him, and it cost him his life and his soul, nice work baby." Dean said crouching back down.

I spit in his face, the anger I was feeling towards him boiling over. Dean angrily wiped his face off with the hem of his shirt.

"there's no point in trying to bring your best friend back now." Dean growled.

"oh I’ll bring him back, if it's the last thing I do." I growled.

"In fact, your uh guilt ridden, weight-of-the-world best friend, has been M.I.A. for quite some time now. I have to say though, I'm loving the new model, lean, mean, Dean."

I rolled my eyes turning my head away from him.

"I can't believe you're still trying! I mean, I couldn't wait to get away from you. I chose the king of hell over you! I guess I was just tired of having to coddle you, always having to yank your ass out of the fire. Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?" Dean said.

I could feel the tears run down my cheeks as he spoke.

"this isn't my best friend talking, he would never say those things." I spoke, more for my benefit than for his.

"you never had a best friend, just an excuse for wimping out, and guess what angel, I quit."

"no, you don't get to quit, we don't quit, okay you and me Dean we're bonded whether you like it or not, and this bond is all that we've got." I cried.

"well then we've got nothing." Dean smirked.

I looked down at the floor, praying that Sam had noticed I was gone. I was praying to Castiel to come find me. I knew if it came down to it, I couldn't kill Dean, even if it meant he'd kill me. I was praying for another solution.

I heard the door open and the sound of heeled footsteps against the floor.

"you brought us a play thing?"

I looked up to see a female, she wore black eyes similar to Deans.

"not us, mine." Dean growled at the girl who took a step closer to me.

"but I want to play too." she smirked coming over to me, brushing a piece of hair off my bare shoulder.

I shivered at her touch, trying to move away with what limited space I had.

"I said no." Dean growled.

I glanced up meeting Dean's eyes and for a second, just a second, I could see he wasn't totally gone.

"have you gone soft on us Winchester?"

"ha, not even, but you see that one's kind of a special project of mine, and I want to kill her myself." Dean smirked staring at me.

"okay, then I won't kill her."

As she said this, she shoved the chair back, causing me to hit my head on the concrete below. I grunted as the air was knocked out of my lungs.

"I'll just hurt her." she laughed.

"Dean please." I pleaded, struggling to breathe.

"Dean's gone." the woman whispered, running a hand through my hair.

"Dean I know you're in there. I'm begging you. I always rely on you because I know I can. Dean you're the most selfless person I know. I know that somewhere inside you still care. I know you don't want to hurt me Dean." I cried.

As I was putting on my show, I managed to wiggle one of my arms free. I reached around to grab my blade that was hidden in my belt loop, but I didn't feel anything.

"are you looking for this?" she smirked, inspecting the demon blade.

"go back to hell where you belong." I snapped.

"nice show, even almost had me fooled for a second." I heard her laugh.

She held the blade to my cheek. I could feel my breathing quicken as she ran the blade down my cheek towards my neck. She pressed in just enough to draw a small trickle of blood. I looked past her to try to reason with Dean again but I didn't see him.

I suddenly felt blood splatter on my face. It was coming from the woman's mouth as Dean plunged the first blade deeper in to her spine. I watched the life leave her eyes in an instant. Dean grunted as he ripped the blade out, her now lifeless body slumping over my own. He threw her body off of me, picking the chair back up.

He started to pace around the room as if he wasn’t sure what just happened.

"look what you made me do!" Dean yelled.

"Dean, let me go, and then I can help you." I whimpered weakly.

Dean glared at me, his eyes going black before flashing back to his normal green ones. Dean growled, opening the door to the room before slamming it shut leaving me alone.

I had to get out of here. I noticed my blade still on the ground, just a few feet from where I sat. If I can get to it, I can cut myself free.

I leaned over as far as I could, causing the chair to tip over sideways. I once again smacked my head on the concrete as I fell. I groaned at the impact but shook it off, using my free arm to pull myself closer to the knife. I reached out my arm, my fingers just barely grazing the handle.

"come on!" I exclaimed, trying to grip it again.

I finally managed to wrap my fingers around the handle of the blade. I breathed a momentary sigh of relief, cutting my other arm free from the ropes than cutting my ankles free. I stood up weakly looking for an exit. I took my sleeve, wiping the blood off my face.

I wasn't sure how much of it was hers, and how much of it was my own.

I finally saw a red exit sign. I mustered up all my strength sprinting over to it. I put my hand on the door, but suddenly stopped.

I couldn't leave him.

I wouldn't.

I was debating with myself when I heard a loud growl. Dean must've come back and noticed I was gone.

"you're coming home whether you like it or not." I whispered, running through the warehouse.

I could hear Dean walking after me, opening doors as he went. It was eery how calm he walked.

"come on baby, don't you want to hang out with me, spend a little quality time." Dean yelled.

I quieted my breathing as I found the keys to the electrical room. I moved quietly against the walls towards the room.

I heard Dean kick down some doors, growling every time I wasn't behind one of them. I managed to get to the electrical room. I fumbled with the keys trying to unlock the door.

"fuck" I muttered in frustration.

I finally got in, and immediately pulled every switch I could, killing the power.

"that's smart angel, but now I know where to find you." Dean growled as he rushed towards where I was.

I hid against the wall waiting for him. I heard him enter quietly, looking around for me.

"come on out angel, you're just making things worse for yourself." Dean growled.

I rushed over to the door, just as Dean threw the switches back, restarting the power.

"now this is me yanking your ass out of the fire." I spit slamming the door and locking him inside.

I heard Dean chuckle.

"this is your big plan, locking me in?"

"Dean, just please come with me and we can cure you." I said holding out my demon blade.

It was completely silent.

"Dean?"

I jumped in fright as Dean banged on the door, slowly splitting the wood.

"you act like I wanna be cured, personally I like the disease." Dean growled, using a hammer he found to break the door down.

"Dean stop! I don't want to use this blade on you!" I yelled holding it out further in front of my body.

"that sucks for you doesn't it angel, cause you really mean that." Dean smirked, hitting the door with the hammer again.

"Dean if you come out of that room, I won't have a choice." I whimpered, choking back tears.

"oh sure you will, and I know which one you'll make, isn't that right baby?" Dean growled smacking the door harder.

I knew the door wouldn't hold him much longer.

"I'm lucky though, cause there's just enough demon left in me that killing you, ain't gonna be a choice at all." Dean growled continuing to break the door down.

I felt the tears streaming down my face at this point. I could see the door giving way. I turned around sprinting away before it broke completely. I heard one last loud bang before the door gave way. Dean's heavy footsteps were once again behind me.

"come on angel, lets kiss and make up. I'm tired of playing let's finish this game." Dean growled.

I leaned against the wall taking a deep breath. I didn't have the strength to continue. I knew I was no match for him.

I glanced down the corridor where I thought Dean was coming from. I didn't see him though.

I turned around just in time to see a hammer flying towards my head. I ducked quickly, pushing my demon blade against Dean's throat. I could hear Dean chuckle as he looked at me, raising his hands in mock surrender.

"well, well look at you baby, go on do it." Dean growled leaning in to the knife.

I felt the tears cloud my vision as I slowly dropped the knife.

I couldn't kill him.

I watched as Dean's eyes went black. He gripped my throat throwing me against the wall before slamming me on the ground. I watched him take out the first blade, bringing it above his head.

"Dean I love you."

I closed my eyes, waiting for death to come.

But it didn't.

I opened my eyes to see Dean growling, as if he was fighting an inner battle with himself, a battle for his soul. I caught sight of Castiel sneaking up behind Dean, wrapping him in his arms. Dean growled, trying to get out of his grasp.

"Dean it's over." Cas said his eyes flashing their beautiful blue.

Dean collapsed in CastieI's arms, before I slapped the demon cuffs on him. I felt myself relax as I saw Sam rushing to my side.

****************************************************

"I'll meet you guys soon, just one thing left to do." I said holding the first blade in my hand.

"Be careful." Sam said placing a kiss on my forehead.

I gave him a nod, watching him get in the impala with Castiel and a still unconscious Dean. I sighed as they pulled away from me.

"you can stop hiding now." I called.

I saw Crowley emerge from the shadows, a smirk on his face as he eyed the blade.

"pleasure doing business with you." He spoke reaching his hand out.

I quickly pulled it out of his reach.

"what are you going to do with it?" I inquired.

"oh toss it in a volcano, leave it on the moon, i'll get creative." He laughed.

I hesitantly eyed him.

"believe me love, I don't want Dean getting his hands on the precious any more than you do. he knows I've ratted and he tends to hold a grudge....I don't want to get how you say boned."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"besides a deals a deal."

I huffed before handing the blade over to him.

"I hope you know this doesn't make us square, quite the opposite actually, I swear Crowley if I see you again.." I started but he cut me off.

"oh stop it love, no one likes a tease."

I glared at him one last time before hopping in the truck, starting the drive back to Kansas.

I felt like my head was going to explode from everything that had happened in such a short time. Dean's words replayed in my head on a continuous loop.

It wasn't him, I know that. It didn't make anything he said any less hurtful though.

It's never been you.

You see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, I've been fucking everything with a heartbeat.

Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?

I felt the tears cloud my vision, making the road harder to see. I pulled over to the side of the road and cried. I let out every emotion I'd been holding in.

I cried for Dean, I cried for what he went through. I cried for me. I cried for the strain that this was going to put on our relationship. I just cried.

I didn't know how long I'd been crying but I finally collected myself enough to start driving again. I knew that Sam and Castiel could handle Dean. I'm sure they were already back in Kansas, starting the purified blood cure on Dean.

I didn't even know if I was ready to face him again. I spilled my darkest secret to Dean, fearing that I would be dead and never having the chance to tell him.

Dean didn't kill me though.

He could have very easily, I didn't put up much of a fight.

But he didn't.

I was praying that maybe some part of him felt something for me too.

I managed to make the rest of the drive to Kansas. I pulled up to the bunker, hearing Dean growl as the demon was expelled from his body. I hesitantly walked over seeing him slumped over in a chair, much like I was hours ago. Sam injected another syringe of purified blood in to his arm.

"what the hell are we doing to him guys? I mean even after everything he said he didn't want to be cured, that he didn't want to be human." I spoke, feeling the tears that I was sure I had cried all out, start to rim my eyes once again.

"well, I can see his point, you know, only humans can feel real joy, but also such profound pain." Castiel said staring directly at me while talking about pain.

"I guess this is easier." Sam added.

I was about to respond when Dean groaned, trying to move. He raised his head, showing us his black eyes, before they returned to their shade of green.

Dean groaned hoarsely before exhaling a big breath. He looked at the three of us confused, as if everything was coming back to him.

"you look worried guys." Dean spoke up.

I could feel Dean's eyes stay on me. He stared at me intently. I just hoped I didn't look as broken as I felt.

Castiel, Sam, and I gave each other a look, all wondering the same thing. Was Dean back?

Sam uncapped the holy water throwing it on to Dean's face. I sighed with relief when he didn't have a reaction to it. Sam smiled at us. I was still a little apprehensive as was Castiel.

"Dean, we've missed you." Sam said.

Castiel and Sam unchained Dean, helping him to his feet. I felt like every word I wanted to say was stuck in my throat. Dean stared at me as the boys led him to his room. He was weak, the blood cure taking a lot out of him.

How was I even supposed to talk to him about this?

Castiel and Sam returned quickly after getting Dean settled.

"how's he doing?" I asked the boys.

"he's still a little out of it, but better. I mean I think the blood cure, all of it, it really wrecked him you know." Sam said giving me an apologetic look.

It was silent for a moment.

"on the plus side, he's hungry again so I'm going to go pick us up some food, you guys mind keeping an eye?" Sam added grabbing the keys to the impala.

I nodded my head as he walked out. Castiel was unnaturally quiet.

"what is it Cas?"

"one problem is solved, but one still remains. Dean is no longer a demon, that's true, but the mark of cain, that he still has, and sooner or later that's going to become an issue.”

I knew he was right, Castiel always was.

"one battle at a time Cas." I half smiled.

Castiel looked at me with a sad face. It was no use hiding my emotions from him because the angel always figured it out. Castiel stepped up, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. I felt a tear cascade down my cheek as I sunk in his embrace.

"I'm uh, going to get cleaned up." I whispered.

I felt every muscle in my body aching as I walked to the bathroom. I cringed when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked like hell.

I sported a hand shaped bruise around my throat, along with a cut from my knife. I had a gash on my head, and my face was still crimson colored from the blood. I could see various other bruises forming all over. I licked over my lip that was busted from being thrown against the wall by Dean.

I definitely looked as broken as I felt.

I sighed as I stepped in to the steady stream of water, the sound of the water slapping against my skin drowned out my sobs. I scrubbed my skin until it felt raw.

I got out wrapping the towel tightly around my body. I tiptoed past Deans room. I couldn't help my curiosity as I heard Dean and Castiel talking.

"thank you, for stepping in when you did... has uh she talked to you? what does she say, does she want anything to do with me?" Dean asked.

I could hear the hurt in his voice. It made me hurt more.

"I'm sure she knows whatever you said, whatever you did, that wasn't really you, I mean it certainly wasn't all of you." Castiel reassured.

"Cas, I tried to kill her. Did you see her? I did that! I can't take back the things I said Cas." Dean said.

"Dean I feel I can be honest with you. You two have been through so much together, you're bonded. It'll take a lot more than you trying to kill her with a hammer to get her to walk away." Castiel said.

"you realize how screwed up our lives are that, that even makes sense?" Dean says causing Cas to chuckle.

"I think you should talk to her, and then maybe you should uh take some time, allow both of you to heal."

I heard Castiel exit Dean's room, closing the door. He gave me a wordless look as he passed, signifying that his words were just as much meant for me as they were for Dean.

Castiel the wise.

Of course I couldn't walk away from Dean.

I sighed as I walked to my room, quickly throwing on some clothes. As soon as I lay in my soft bed, I realize how burnt out I was. I heard a soft knock on my door.

"yeah?" I called out hesitantly.

"it's me, the real me."

I felt the air get caught in my throat.

"come in."

Dean opened the door slowly. I could see the hurt flashing in his eyes at he looked at me. I sat up not meeting his eyes. Dean walked over, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"(y/n), I.."

"you don't have to apologize Dean, I know that wasn't you." I spoke.

"it doesn't make it any less shitty though." He said through gritted teeth.

"or hurt any less." I admitted.

Dean ran a hand through his hair in frustration. I could see that this was really hurting him.

"but you could've killed me, and you didn't, you saved me, you stopped yourself." I said finally meeting his eyes.

"I couldn't kill you. I feel for you too much, even as a demon." Dean whispered, hesitantly looking at me.

I felt my heart swell up at his words.

"what I said, it wasn't true." Dean said, sliding just a bit closer to my body.

"it's okay if part of it was, it's never been me and that's okay." I said feeling my heartache.

Dean looked at me as if I had three heads.

"never been you? It's always been you."

I felt the tears run down my cheeks as Dean put a hand up, caressing one of them.

"Dean I don't know how we move on from this." I cried.

"I don't know either, but we're going to do it, together, just like always."

I smiled at Dean for the first time.

"there's my Dean." I whispered.

Dean leaned in slowly, leaning his forehead against mine.

"did you mean what you said?" Dean asked hesitantly.

I gave him a confused look.

"that you love me, did you mean it?"

I swallowed nervously as I stared at him. I slowly nodded my head adverting my eyes from his gaze. Dean grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him.

I gasped as Dean crashed his lips on to mine. I was shocked so naturally I was still. Once my brain processed what was happening I pressed my lips against his, kissing him as if my life depended on it. He pulled away slowly, keeping his forehead pressed to mine.

“I love you too, I always have.” Dean spoke.

I felt the tears well in my eyes again, but these tears were different. These weren’t tears of sadness, they were tears of pure love.

Dean smiled as he reconnected our lips together in a heated kiss. It was lustful, neither one of use being able to contain the passion we had felt for each other for far too long.

Dean slid his hands under my shirt, gripping on to my hips as he deepened the kiss. I was so caught up in the moment I ignored my muscles screaming at me to stop. Dean brought my shirt over my head, breaking the kiss just long enough to do so. I felt insecure as my bare chest was now exposed for him. I panted as he brought his lips down to my neck gently kissing over the bruise.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart.” Dean said in between kisses.

I grabbed the hem of his shirt taking it off. I saw the mark of cain glistening on his forearm. I brought his arm to my lips, slowly kissing over the mark. Dean pushed me back on the bed so he was hovering over me. I gasped as his hands slid there way down my body to my shorts.

It was slow and passionate. I felt like my skin was on fire every time his fingertips met my skin. Dean dragged my shorts down my legs, his fingers brushing against my sensitive heat.

I wasted no time putting my hands in his pants yanking them down over his butt and down his legs. I was surprised to feel that he was already fully erect.

“do you want this?” Dean asked kissing my lips.

“more than i’ve ever wanted anything.”

Dean, with my consent slowly slid himself in to me. I groaned as my body adjusted to his large girth. He started to move at a slow pace, savoring the feeling of finally being together so intimately.

“It’s always been you.” Dean said as he thrusted deeply.

I don’t think either of us had the energy for the sex we really wanted to have but this sex was sweet, and full of love. I moaned as Dean picked up the pace, but still savoring the feeling of every thrust inside of me. I brought my hips up matching his thrusts. I was a moaning mess as we thrusted against each other, our lips crashing with each thrust.

“Dean” I moaned signifying that I was close.

Dean thrusted some more, softly but at a steady rhythm. I moaned one last time as I felt myself spilling over the edge. I was gripping him so hard, it cause him to release his arousal too. Dean’s body gave out as he collapsed beside me.

“hey guys I got the… oh god really Dean?” Sam said dropping the bag of food and covering his eyes.

I laughed at him, joined by Dean.

“not even back twenty four hours and this is how you’re spending your time.” Sam groaned in embarrassment.

“blame Cas, he’s the one that told us we should talk.” Dean laughed.

Sam backed out of my room, shutting the door behind him. I gazed at Dean but found out he was already staring at me.

“I didn’t save you, you saved me.” Dean whispered tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I’ll always save you Dean.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

Author Note:

I really hope you guys like it! If you feel so inclined please leave a heart, comment, reblog or a follow! I appreciate it!

#dean winchester x you #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester smut #dean x reader #sam winchester #castiel #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles imagine #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles x female!reader #dean winchester x female!reader #supernatural #spn #supernatural smut #jensen x reader #jensen ackles smut #jensen and jared #jensen x you #jared padalecki #dean and cas #sam and dean #misha collins

[hauntedpearl]

because I process everything through dean and cas. i think. i think dean doesn't know what love is really supposed to feel like. the forever kind of love. the kind he thinks cas feels.

i think it felt like heat and hunger when he was twenty three and there was this girl with the dangerous smile and a look in her eyes like she could kick his ass and he better know it. and I think it felt like something that didn't quite fit right but fell across his shoulders all the same when he was with Lisa and he thought, well, it keeps me warm, this, whatever it is. it keeps me happy.

but then there's cas and he can't put his finger on what it is he's supposed to be feeling. and he thinks it should be big. after the dungeon and death and the empty and everything. after. after. he thinks it's supposed to make the world feel different. he thinks it's supposed to do something to his bones, the way cas talks about it. and it doesn't. and dean thinks, maybe, he's not meant for things like this. maybe it's just that he's empty. maybe cas is missing out by choosing him. and it's selfish, but there's something in there, and he can't let go, because it hurts, hurts like a heart attack, and he'd know because he's had a few. and he thinks, whatever it is, this broken, bent, useless thing, it wants him to stay still, for once, and he listens.

and it's the little things, i think. it's how he knows to spear tomatoes off Cas' plate or maybe it's how he knows to make time to tie his tie for him when they go out. how he switches the radio in the car to whatever cas wants to listen to — knows a frown means pop music, and a sleepy heaviness in his eyes calls for the oldies and there, that soft light, that makes dean think of the summer and the sea, that's when he knows to pick his own favourite mixtape.

i think it comes slow, this realisation, that there isn't dean's life anymore, not really. it's deanandcas' life, and they fit together, seamless, and dean's been worried about how he is not enough, but he thinks about how he's slotted into place here, in Cas' arms and his home, and his habits, and he thinks. he thinks maybe that's what it is supposed to feel like. or maybe it's what it feels like to him. and it's not a feeling that lifts his feet off the ground, but it's this soft thing in his chest, something like his mother's hug when he was young, truly young. like watching his infant brother's fingers curling around his pinkie for the first time. like walking into a house and seeing a place where your shoes are supposed to go, putting them there, almost unthinking, your mind already on the food at the table. like the smallest shift in your being. a settling of sorts.

he doesn't think he loves cas like cas loves him, doesn't think he could if he tried. cas' being is the breadth of the world and his love is bigger than that. it's hard to compete with that sort of thing. but dean's heart is full, and he thinks he fits nicely, at the center of it, this big, wonderful, impossible thing. thinks he makes it happy, too. thinks maybe that's kind of the whole point.

#from the drafts #hahaha....*softly* what the fuck #i do not. remember writing this #doe's writing adventures #spn posting #destiel stuff #dean is some flavour of aroace to me #anyway. ANYWAY. I THINK. sometimes you fall in love and it doesn't feel like the movies znd you're like maybe that's sth wrong w me #but maybe love is this big all encompassing blanket snd you're always in it so you don't alwYs notice it big like that ykwim

[castieldelamancha]

"Well, Cas," Dean whispers, out of breath, just as much as Castiel currently feels, he presses his forehead against Cas', keeping him pinned against the wall of the desert hallway, right next to the door of his room, because he couldn't wait until they were there to feel Castiel's lips on his again.

It's glorious, tentative at first on both their endings, just like their first one, rapidly deepening as their hands grew bolder, as their need to be close grew stronger.

"First night on Earth." He kisses the corner of Cas' mouth, then his cheek, anywhere he can reach, not stopping on a particular spot for long, "what do you want to do?" Dean knows well what he wants to do, but he also knows well this time around things have to be different, he owns that to Cas and also to himself. This isn't a quick roll in the hay that will end with a rushed morning farewell.

This is forever, so he won't rush Cas or himself into anything they aren't ready to do yet.

"It hardly is my first night on Earth," Castiel replies, tilting his head to the side to give Dean access to the side of his neck.

Dean rolls his eyes, "I know that, but it feels like it, doesn't it?" He moves back a little and stares into Castiel's eyes. First night on Earth, their first night together like this, the first one of many, the first one of their forever, "we have had enough last nights on Earth, it's about time we flipped the script."

Castiel nods staring right back at Dean, he doesn't say anything, just smiles, a small, secretive thing, like he is holding onto a secret he won't tell Dean about.

"What?"

"I always wondered," he replies, voice solemn, "what this would feel like."

"What? Kissing? Look, buddy, we both know you-"

Castiel cuts him off, shaking his head, "all this inside me being requited, finding its own mirror where it had been looking for it for the longest time."

He had seen it on Dean's movies. Even if love wasn't a central piece of the plot on them, with a few notable exceptions, it was always there and it was always requited, wonderful and full of joy. Always there, just like in the world around them, in so many ways, in so many forms, so special and painful at the same time.

And he wondered, in his darkest hours, in his moments of solitude, when he was away and he couldn't stop missing Dean, when he was close, watching him flip some pancakes at the stove, and he couldn't stop missing Dean anyway.

He wonder what it would be like to know that if he were to call Dean on the phone just to tell him he loved him, if he were to reach out and take Dean's hand away from the pan and his mind away from breakfast and everything else that could be worrying him so they could share a kiss, that Dean would just say it back, kiss him back, love him back.

"Well then," Dean smiles at him, giving him more room to move away from the hard press of the wall against his back, "is it good? Is it what you were expecting?"

And while his tone is light and his smile doesn't fade away Castiel can see right through him, he can see his doubts, always wondering if he is enough, for those around him, for the world.

For Castiel.

As if he wasn't the most amazing thing Castiel has ever seen in his long existence.

Castiel nods, lifting both his hands to cradle Dean's face between them, he gently pulls him closer, getting him to lower his head just enough so he can kiss his forehead.

"I love you." He whispers against Dean's skin.

"I love you too." Dean replies back without missing a bit. Castiel grins widely.

"I could have never imagined it would feel as incredible as this."

#destiel #vanessa writes ✨ #ficlet #tuserpris #🥹

[wormstacheangel]

Dean and Cas in Motel6

The sun was shining through the motel window. Its glowing rays danced across Dean’s freckled back. A sight he never thought he would be privileged enough to see.

Dean asleep—drooling on the pillow even—naked and tangled up in motel sheets. Which was not the new part. No. The new and most amazing sight was that Cas was laying almost the same way. Except for the drooling since he did not sleep. And in this moment he thanked his lucky stars he didn’t. 

He couldn’t imagine missing even a second of Dean’s peaceful breathing. 

Oh, but he wanted to touch. His hands kept reaching over wanting to rake his fingers in soft brown hair or glide his hand down soft warm skin. His body ached to just be close to his best friend but he was still so hesitant. Dropping his hand between them but continued admiring the most beautiful man. 

His lover.

Cas almost chuckled but didn’t want to shake the bed. Dean would have cringed at that.

But wasn’t that true now? After this night, shouldn’t Cas be able to call Dean his?

“Stay.” Dean had begged last night. 

Cas remembered every detail, from the way Dean’s hands gripped to the way Dean panted his name. Even calling him Castiel once at some point. But he especially remembered Dean’s words.

“Fuck. I love you so much. Stay. Stay. Stay.”

Since being reunited they haven’t talked about his dying words or “The truth” as Sam likes to put it. Cas was brought back to resume business as usual. Except no Chuck and Jack was now the all-knowing. Which meant Cas was gone all the time with his son. 

He has not had a second of alone time with Dean, but he got a phone call last night. It wasn't a drunk call that made him drop everything and leave heaven behind. No, this was Dean's prayer.

“Come get me.”

It was all a strange whirlwind after that. 

He arrived at a motel, knocking once before being pulled in. He remembers the hesitant touching but the kissing was desperate for them both. Closing the gap between them so easily before falling into bed. 

And now it’s the morning and here they both are. 

He worried what Dean would say when he awoke. If this was all one big mistake. He wanted to prepare his heart for another goodbye and, even if this is all he gets, this wonderful night with Dean, then he will cherish it forever. 

He will pretend it never happened for Dean’s sake. For their family’s sake. 

But he knew he could never forget the warmth he felt finally being with the man he loves. 

Maybe he should leave before Dean wakes up. Save them both the trouble of an awkward conversation. 

He carefully scooted out of bed. Sitting at the edge of it, watching his bare feet on the filthy old carpet, debating whether or not to savor one last look at Dean before he left. 

“Unless you’re getting up to get me some damn breakfast,” Cas's back straightened as he heard the raspy voice. “You better get back in bed, Sweetheart."

Cas turned his head to see Dean lift up the sheets just enough to let him scoot in but not let the cold creep in. He smiled his sleepy grin and motioned with his chin to come close. Cas couldn't help but let the worries melt away as he slipped into the bed. Their bodies were close, it was almost electric as they kept an eye on each other. Looking for answers neither wanted to ask the questions too.

“Beautiful.” Cas thought at the same time as Dean said the word out loud. Only a whisper but still so confidently said. 

They both smiled as the tension faded. Their hands slowly crept between them before their pinkies hooked together.

Cas looked at their hands as he confessed. “I've been wanting this with you for so long. I…I never thought it was possible.” I never want to let go.

“Sorry it took me so long to get my head out of my ass.” He joked but his small smile was so sincere as he continued. “I was missing you like crazy. And I was trying to be patient and let you settle in with your whole new role as God's Dad and all but,” Dean slides his hand up Cas’s arm and gently places it on his cheek. Looking into his eyes, Cas saw no sadness. “I'm tired of wasting my time not being with you. You can…you have me, Cas. Always did.”

His eyes watered but he wouldn’t dare look away from the pretty face. He took Dean's hand and placed a kiss on his palm. He made sure Dean was listening to him before he let out a heavy breath. “I love you.”

He heard Dean's heart race and his breath hitched before he relaxed. Closing the space between them with a kiss. Long, sweet, and wonderful kiss. 

“After we make up for so much damn time,” Dean pulled Cas almost on top of him. “Maybe we can get that breakfast we were talking about earlier.”

“I wasn't talking about breakfast.” Cas chuckled, bending down to let his lips trace warm freckled skin. “But I do love the idea.”

“Great.” Dean pulled Cas’s face away from his throat and let their eyes lock. “You know I love you too, right?”

Cas couldn't respond but he felt like the Grinch and his grace grew two sizes that moment—though he knew it wasn’t possible, he just felt so happy. His eyes finally shed those tears he was holding in while he tucked his face into Dean’s chest. Feeling big, strong, and—best of all— gentle hands rub mindless circles into his back. 

Cas knew he was important. He knew he was wanted to some degree. But finally hearing those words, from someone he truly loves, felt healing in some way. How has he lived so long without being loved?

The motel room filled with a golden light of morning sun and soft humming from the man he loves. You could see every tear in the wallpaper, mold on the ceiling, and even how the carpet had different color stains but at this moment, it was the most beautiful place in the world. 

In this moment, he was truly in heaven.

#destiel #dean #castiel #fanfic #fic #wormstachewrites #they're hopeless and awkward and desperate for love #touch starved i guess #shhh i just want them to be honest and make out

[deancaskiss]

cas thought the empty would be quiet. after it had begged for sleep, for peace, he thought he’d have forever in silence, too.

but that was the furthest thing from the truth.

cas heard his family.

all the time.

all the prayers they sent to him; he heard them all.

sometimes it was prayers from jack: ‘there’s a new area in heaven dedicated to bees. I’d thought you’d like that, dad. I’m working with gabriel and a bunch of other angels to get you out of there. we’ll find a way, I promise.’

or, ‘there’s some new cereal I found on earth today and I think you’d like it too. I got an extra box just for you. I miss you. things don’t feel right without you. I just want you to come home. also, I found one of your extra trench coats and now it’s mine.’

other times it was prayers from sam: ‘home isn’t the same without you, cas. i found some new books today and i thought you’d like the spells it talks about. there’s a lot of nature ones.’

or: ‘eileen wanted to play scrabble today. do you remember the scrabble matches we used to have against dean? he’d always lose and you thought it was the funniest thing. mostly because you always won. missing you today, cas.’

but the prayers cas hears the most are from dean. hundreds and hundreds of prayers every single day are from dean.

‘I found a patch outside the bunker to start a garden. I’m gonna start it, but you gotta come back here and tend to it. it’s your garden, cas. just like you always wanted.’

‘I was thinking about that last movie we watched together before…. before you… anyway you looked, god cas, you were so- handsome. the way the light from the tv flickered across your face. I think I contemplated kissing you every single minute of the entire movie. I wish I had.’

‘did I tell you today? I probably already did. I think I’m starting to tell you multiple times a day now. I don’t care. you need to hear it. I love you, too. should’ve said it to your face. prayers aren’t enough cas, goddammit. come home so I can tell you. I need to tell you. I love you.’

‘I found some new honey today. it’s got lavender in it. I thought you’d like it. I bought you a jar. it’s sat in your room, waiting for you. just like I am.’

‘when you come home, I’m going to kiss you. no, wait, gonna hug you first, then kiss you. wait, that’s not right either. I’m not good with words, cas. you know that. I don’t think I’ll be able to tell you immediately how I feel. but if I kiss you, you’d get it, right? you’d let me kiss you, right? please say yes. god cas, I dream about you all the time. about pulling you close and kissing you stupid. about us going to farmers markets and movie date nights curled up together on the couch. I really need you. please cas. this love for you, it aches. I just- please tell me you feel this too.’

‘I got out of bed today. I thought you’d be proud. I’m going to the grocery store to get some more supplies. tell me if you need anything.’

‘there’s a new western movie coming out this weekend. let’s go see it together.’

cas hears all the prayers. every day. all the time. nothing is silent. his family is right there. and that’s enough. it has to be enough. and if somehow he escapes from here, if jack really sets him free, then cas vows he’s never letting his family go. never ever again.

#castiel #spn #dean winchester #destiel #sam winchester #jack kline #bex writing #tuserpris #becauseofthebowties #deanncastiel #scottstiles #emeraldcas #userjactingjoices #userda #useralison #usermoogs #archervale #spxcekya #feathersforcas #thisisapaige

[according2thelore]

okay so your es/ls verse is making me lose my mind omg!! I check everyday and every little snippet heals a part of my soul I am not even kiddinggg! This last one about es!sam missing was so so so on point, I finally have the courage to send you an ask - what if es!sam or dean or both at the same time see ls!sam and dean uhm...um...doing what they are yearning for, kissing or spooning or straight up boning...what happens then? Does ES!Dean freak out and bolt? Does ES!Sam feel hopeful about the future for the first time since coming? Do ES!Sam&Dean evade each other forever?????? Do they accept it or try to play up their wtf reactions as if they havent been dreaming of this forever???

PS - odd detail but I love how adorably you write "kisses you on both cheeks" - english isnt my first language so forgive me if this comes as weird but this phrase of yours always me laugh because it is so cute haha?! I hope ES!Sam kisses Cas on both cheeks? Did I use it right???

EEK! thank you, anon! MWAH MWAH!

and please send me all the asks in the world! i cradle all of these asks in my hands like a duckling, lol!

OKAY ANON LMAO I TOTALLY READ THIS WHOLE THING COMPLETELY WRONG!!!! i read it as: what if LS!Dean&ES!Sam walk in on LS!Sam&ES!Dean kissing, and wrote this big long terrible thing about it!!!! my mistake!!!!!!! i was about to click publish then read it again and realized my error! if y'all ever want that lesson in angst and torture, lmk lol.

but GAH!!! your BRAIN!!!! i had to write a narrative little thing about it, i hope you enjoy!

sam doesn't know where the hell anyone is.

he checks the kitchen. nope. the armory, no one. the library? empty. he checks everyone's bedrooms, the garage, the war room, the dungeon (still can't believe there's a future where he owns a dungeon), and they're all completely empty.

sam is starting to suspect that they all went out without him, despite the fact that sammy had immediately established the ground rule that no "same" winchesters can go out together without a pretty extensive disguise.

that rule had been established when they all went out to the bar to drink their collective problem away (with the younger winchesters in big-billed trucker hats) and a drunk girl had stumbled straight from older dean's unwilling arms into younger dean's infinitely-more-willing arms and did a double-take. then a triple-take. then she saw The Sams, and they got the hell out of dodge before things could get ugly.

twins exist, for sure, but identical twins separated by 10+ years? not really.

sam's walking down another of the infinite hallways when he spots dean--his dean.

he had given up on finding anyone and gone to do some more archiving work. it was one of the only things that kept him sane in this new reality, and he enjoyed the quiet, satisfying work of logging complicated artifacts in his older self's laptop.

it was outside on of these rooms that he finds dean.

sam is positive there's nothing on these floors but dusty, mostly unopened rooms full of non-sharp, lore-heavy papers and gadgets and pottery, so he's confused why dean is here at all.

(and another, more bitter part of him is surprised to see him here without his precious sammy)

dean's pressed against a door, and sam's steps slow, because he's seen this exact scene in that one movie about the blair witch that terence made him watch at stanford. they had all jumped and laughed and rolled their eyes, but sam had sat straight as a board, beer sweating and unopened in his hand.

dean is clearly not looking at him, face pressed into the doorcrack like he's trying to smell or something. sam creeps forward, listening, but can only dean's quick breathing.

is he hurt? sam picks up his pace.

when he's directly behind him, he leans his head in close. he can smell his own shampoo in dean’s hair.

“dean!” he says suddenly, because it’s his big brother, and sam is legally obligated to be a little shit about it.

dean jumps like he just took a bullet to the kidney, and he slams both hands over his mouth. he whips around with glaring eyes, but he’s clearly shocked by something. something not-sam.

“what the hell?” dean asks, sharply, voice barely above a whisper.

“what are we doing?” sam asks, lowering his voice, too. is something wrong? what’s in the room? sam makes a step forward, but dean reaches a hand out to sam’s chest, keeping him there.

dean raises his other hand to his lips, motioning for sam to be quiet. sam hunches instinctively, and creeps forward quietly.

he and dean are sharing space next to the door, and sam presses even closer so dean’s back brushes his chest with every inhale. there’s a few-centimeter crack in the door, just enough for light to come through, but they can only see a sliver of a shelf from here.

there are voices, sam realizes. behind the door. they’re faint, but one is getting steadily quieter and louder, like they’re pacing back and forth from the door.

"--leave, already?"

a soft laugh. "you don't mean that."

a groan. "yeah, sammy, i kinda do. i don't like this. that we have to hide this."

sam knew it was their older selves, but the confirmation of it shoots a spark of nerves all the way down to his toes. why are they here?

“we’ve hidden this before. we hide literally everywhere. all the time.”

“but it’s us, y’know?”

“even more reason. could you imagine telling dean that this is how we end up?”

“kid’ll wet himself in glee, promise you that.” a silence. “what?”

“nothing. just…”

“d’ah, stop lookin’ at me like that.” dean grumbles. and his voice stops moving back and forth.

“or what?” challengingly. sam flushes, because he knows that tone of voice. he flirts with that voice. keep it together, man, he wants to scream to his older self. dean shifts in front of him.

“or i’ll come over there and make you,” dean says, and sam can feel the dean in front of him tense up.

there’s silence in the room for a second, and sam can feel the ragged inhales of the dean in front of him. sam’s palms are sweating.

“how long have they been here?” sam asks quietly, and if he didn’t know better, he would say dean shudders as his breath hits dean’s scalp.

“i don’t know. i just found them a few minutes ago. they’ve been talking about us.”

sam can feel dean’s voice rumble, and he closes his eyes, tight.

the silence reigns, and sam leans forward even more,

“what are they doing?”

sam reaches forward to push the door open. dean makes a wordless hushed sound of protest, but sam has already knocked the door open an inch. it’s silent on its hinges.

sam leans over dean, and his blood runs cold.

sammy is sitting on a table, facing the door. dean’s waist is pressed between his thighs, and one foot has hooked around dean’s calf to hold them close.

they’re kissing.

they’re kissing.

sam can hear the wet sounds their mouths make as they part and connect. tongues flash in the yellow over-head lights.

the dean in front of him makes a noise, shocked and…and something else.

“hate that i have to have you here, sammy. want to fuck you on the kitchen table, make them watch.”

sam watches his own face contort into a groan, watches older dean bite kisses down his throat. sammy’s lips are swollen and wet, and sam flushes hot because oh my god oh my fucking god—

“you like that idea, don’t you? spread you open for me, make your little favorite hear what a slut his older brother is? make him know you’re mine?”

younger dean’s hand flies to his mouth. sam desperately has to press a hand to his cock, and does so, praying that dean doesn’t turn around.

“no bites.” sammy pants, and tangles his hand in dean’s hair, pulling him away.

sam is shocked by the pure want and adoration on his older self’s face, and aches down to his very bones.

“can’t believe we wasted so much time.” he says, voice rough. his eyes are soft. older dean’s hand bunches in sammy’s shirt, and sam can see the tips of his ears go pink.

younger dean stumbles back, and slams into sam. sam jerks back with a yelp, throwing his hips away because he is terrified that dean is going to feel the hard swell of his dick in his jeans.

dean is panting, and his hand shakes on his mouth.

“oh my god,” dean whines. “they’re—together—they—“

“they’re fucking.” sam confirms, nodding and not knowing why. “they fuck. they fuck each other.”

“stop saying it!” dean whisper shouts, bending at the waist and standing up again, pacing in frantic little circles.

“together,” he’s muttering. “they’re—they—holy shit.”

sam’s heart is pumping in his ears. he can’t help it—he can’t—his eyes fall to dean’s crotch. there’s a bulge in his jeans. sam’s mouth goes dry. his whole body goes hot.

does…does dean—

“i don’t—“ sam says, but he doesn’t know what he’s going to follow that up with.

“yeah, i know.” dean says, laughing breathlessly. then his eyes get wide and he grabs a fist of his hair. “oh fuck. what are we gonna do?”

“pretend we didn’t see anything?” sam suggests.

“we were going to—y’know! to you!!! y’all!” dean says. he’s panicking. sam’s hope starts to curdle.

“say it—fuck. they’re fucking!” sam hisses. dean groans like he’s going to be sick.

dean put his hand over his mouth and starts muttering again. sam catches a few words. “kiss—how could he do that—little brother—we promised—can’t believe—“

something strange shifts in sam’s chest. since he was freshly 11—hell even before that, when he found out his kindergarten teacher was engaged, and sam found out what “marriage” meant, he had grabbed dean’s hand excitedly when he came to get him from the classroom and elatedly told him “we’re gettin’ married! i’m gonna marry you!” dad had later disabused him of that, and dean had crawled into their bed later that night and kissed sam’s tear-streaked cheeks. “it’s okay sammy,” he said, “i’m gonna be at your weddin’ anyway. standin’ right behind you.” sam’s stomach had curdled. “but if you’re really, super old—like 29–and you’re still not married, we can talk about it.”

sam had thought about it when he was 13 and watching dean press the girl of the month against the side of the impala from the motel window. 16 years to go, he had thought with all the tone and life of someone counting down the years of a terminal diagnosis. he had been rotting with this for years.

and they—future they—did it! are doing it? they…they’re together. in all the ways. in every way.

“i gotta go,” dean mutters, and sam catches one look at his overwhelmed expression before dean takes off. sam blinks after him, still processing.

together. he and dean together.

“dean,” sam calls. he’s shocked by how breathless he is, and clears his throat. “wait up!”

he follows his brother, like he’s been doing since he was six.

but for the first time in his life, his chest swells with a tentative, frantic hope. he’s afraid the weight of it—of them—will choke him. he doesn’t know what’s going to happen. dean probably won’t talk to him. but sam—he—it’s starting. this could go either way, but whatever this is—love, family, whatever—is starting.

and he can’t wait to find out.

~~~

“do you think they’re talking about it?” sammy asks later, washing his face before bed. dean is sitting on their bed with a cleaning cloth, freshly showered. “do you think it was enough of a kick in the ass?”

“knowing us, not a fucking shot.” dean says blandly, cleaning his gun. “at this rate, i think i will actually have to suck your cock in the library four times a day to get it to sink in.”

sam rolls his eyes, and dryly says, “romantic.” he adjusts his collar and his eyes land on a couple of splotchy bruises on his neck. “hey!” he leans out of the bathroom. “i think you actually left bruises.”

dean looks up, face purposefully placid.

“whoops. let’s hope pipsqueak doesn’t see those.”

sam scowls.

“you’ve got issues.”

dean lifts one shoulder up in a coy shrug and tilts his head.

“aw, baby. only for you.”

“you’re an ass!” sam calls as he steps back into the bathroom. he looks at his and dean’s toothbrushes sitting side-by-side.

he smiles. yeah.

they definitely got them.

~~~

PS - aw! thank you so much!!! it’s not weird at all! and yes, that's completely correct, haha! ES!Sam is for sure kissing Cas on both cheeks!

LS!Dean is the guy running up and trying to stop it but the poor fool is too late! they are embracing!

(I DO NOT KNOW WHY THE ONLY OTHER EXAMPLE OF THIS IN TUMBLR'S GIF LIBRARY IS FROM GABRIEL'S INFERNO, PLEASE IGNORE THE CONTEXT OH MY GOD AHAHAH)

anyway!!!

i am kissing you on both cheeks! so now we're both laughing! thank you for this ask, anon, it made me giggle! have a great day! <3

-lizzy

#ask box #lizzy answers #ES/LS verse #anon <3

[inthenameofallthingsholy]

Supernatural Opinion

Everyone talks about Demon!Dean, but can we talk about Season 7 Dean!?

Whatever the makeup and hair team were doing they should’ve kept doing it forever cause I am consistently swooning every episode.

It is a crime that poor Cas had to miss this look man

#dean winchester #supernatural #supernatural season 7 #destiel #jensen ackles

[geekthefreakout]

So, I've been having this thought.

Crowley, perhaps post-bookshop divorce, is sitting in a pub or a coffee shop and the server calls his name, but they say it wrong.

They pronounce it like with the "ow" sound, like in Supernatural. And Crowley, mildly miffed, is like "where did you get that from?"

And the server is a Supernatural fan and explains that there's a demon named Crowley-like-owl-not-crow who helps stop the apocalypse.

And Crowley is like "imagine that. That's weird. Say more."

And the server explains a bit. How SPN!Crowley is this demon who is aware that should the big fight happen, he won't be counted among the winners regardless of which way it goes, and he just wants the world to keep on as it is, so he joins forces with the Winchesters and their renegade angel to stop it. He becomes King of Hell after to fill the power vacuum (and here GO!Crowley gives a bitter scoff) and he is both a villain and a hero and sometimes neither of those things.

Crowley inquires more about the angel, Castiel, and the server enthusiastically describes him. They remark that Crowley(spn) and Castiel have a fun dynamic, because they hate each other but also have to work together, because they're in love.

Crowley looks dumbfounded, and of course the server can't know why, but they do clarify that they are in love with Dean, not each other. Dean being a stand-in for humanity, of course, which is how the show runners wanted you to see it.

"But then at the end they FINALLY let Cas be all the way gay for Dean. Like, a decade of subtext and queer baiting denial, and FINALLY with 2 episodes left in the whole show, they let Cas tell Dean that he cares about humanity because he cares about Dean. Like, he actually gets to tell him he's in love with him."

A pause.

"Well, and then he gets sucked directly to Turbo Hell, so. That sucked. It went canon in THE most homophobic way possible, which is kind of on brand for the show--"

"Turbo hell?????? What is that, the tenth circle?"

"Oh, the place that angels and demons go when they die. The Empty. They don't get an afterlife, they just sleep forever and dream about the bad stuff. It's pretty awful, but Cas gets rescued from their off screen by the end so at least that's something-"

"What about the demon?"

"Oh, Crowley-like-owl? He got killed off for good at the end of season 12."

Crowley-like-crow stares through his sunglasses and the server elaborates again. For some reason, they haven't been called to other tables for anything the entire time they've been speaking.

"It was a good death, I think. He died to save the boys and trap Lucifer in another dimension- it's complicated. But he got to say that he actually hated being King of Hell, and he hated Lucifer, and he got to go out on a good deed. I think the actor was tired of the writers playing around with the character's arc. Walking back development, never committing to what they wanted to do with him... And that led to Crowley being kinda inconsistent and underappreciated. So he asked to be killed off and he walked away from the show."

"Huh. Shame, that."

"Yeah, everyone missed him. There are some characters that I REALLY wish he'd gotten to meet. And I also wish that he got a little more love."

"He was a demon. Love's not exactly in their repertoire."

"It's not supposed to be. It was, though. Cas practically invented free will because he loved Dean. And I guess Crowley also didn't fit into the mold God had set for him, either."

"I suppose God's Plan is... Ineffable in the show."

"I mean. Kinda at first? But the last season God is fully the bad guy."

"WHAT??"

Anyway, Crowley watches Supernatural and has no idea if he hates it or not. He probably does. But somehow, Crowley-like-owl and Castiel and their often unappreciative charges make his heart ache. He deliberately notes all the ways that Castiel is nothing like Aziraphale, thank you very much. He supposes he's glad that Adam never turned either of them into action figures.

He watches and he tries not to wish Aziraphale was watching with him.

#good omens #supernatural #sam writes stuff #idk just had this thought #crowley good omens #crowley spn #destiel #drowley #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #aziracrow

[moosealecki]

𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒐?

(𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎! 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓)

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ let’s take it up a notch, let’s see how Deano would feel if reader was to offer up herself to Lucifer...

| pairings; dean x reader , sam x castiel , lucifer x reader

| 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔; loss of life, offering up life, aggressiveness, violence, heartbreak, mistrust.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

“ You’re not gonna like it, Dean.”

“ Yeah...” he scoffed as he kept his green hazel hues on her.

“I’m going to offer myself up, to Lucifer...”

“Like hell you are, don’t be an idiot — we aren’t doing that.”

“Then what other plan is there to go with Dean! We’ve been through every other angle, he’s not going to stop until he finds a vessel, and Sam is not an option.” she was serious, they’ve tried everything, and Dean knew just as well as herself that this was the only option. She would brush her hand over her face and through her curly locks of hair. “Sam, can you give us a minute.”

She walked over to Dean, as she cupped her fragile hands around his face. Her eyes were damp from the tears she had shed prior. “Cas has a plan Dean, Lucifer will think he’s taking me, but Cas will kill him before he does...”

“NO damn it! What if this doesn’t work huh? What if this KILLS you in the process?? We both know things never work the way we want them to, I—I can’t lose another person…I can’t LOSE YOU (Y/N)”he would place his hands onto her wrists, moving her touch away from his face. He never liked to show vulnerability, but when it came to her, she saw right through him.

“Dean...”

“No, it’s not happening, this discussion is over.” He said in a much more serious tone of voice. Stepping back inside of the home. (Y/N) would stand there, brushing away the tears that escaped from her eyes. She knew Dean would never forgive her for this, but she had to do it. Clearing her throat, she leaned down to grab her duffle bag of gear.

The night was a cold, eerie feeling, the fog growing thick as she stood in the field, Cas and Sam were prepping the area with the sigils needed to summon Lucifer. Sam noticing something was bothering her, he would stand back up as he walked over to her, offering he’s comforting arm squeeze and slight smile before returning to the task at hand.

The flames would ignite when Sam spoke out the spell, and within seconds that felt like forever Lucifer would appear.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Miss Badass herself, I assume you are keeping your word?” he curled his infamous smirk.

“Shut the hell up, I’m here aren’t I, let’s just get this over with.” she rolled her eyes, standing mere inches from the flames, Cas whispering something in Enochian allowing her to step through the flames and into the circle. Lucifer’s red hues appeared as he reached out for her hands, taking them into his own before the sound of a car speeding from the distance, swerving into the area. Her head lifted to see that it was Dean.

“You get the fuck away from her!” Dean shouted, shotgun in hand filled with angel-killing bullets. Sam would launch himself forward in his brother’s direction, but Dean was fueled with anger, furious he easily threw his brother in the other direction. That left Castiel, as he used his own angelic ability to stop Dean in his tracks. “CAS! What the hell let me go, (Y/N) don’t do this!”

She felt those tears threatening to surface in her eyes again, feeling her voice trapped within her throat. She would mouth those three little words ‘I love you’ before Lucifer would take his hand, cupping her chin and pulling her back to look at him.

“A deal is a deal darling,” he said in such a calming but comforting voice. He moves to place his hand up against her cheek, the harsh cold of his touch stung her flesh. She could feel the instant bitter cold invade her slowly until she completely went numb. The ground shakes beneath their feet. His eyes were furious with the red ambers, the grace slowly shifting from Nick’s vessel into her own.

“(Y/N) NO!” Dean struggled, his eyes forming tears, as he watched the entire thing happen. Cas letting the angel blade slide from his infamous trench coat, his blue hues surfacing as he smoothly moved up and behind Lucifer, only for his throat to be grabbed just as quickly. “Such a poor excuse of an angel Castiel.” (Y/N) would feel the tears leaving her eyes, Lucifer was not dumb, he would instantly send the feathery idiot of an angel flying miles into the field as he returned to his task at hand.

Sam gathered to his feet quickly, and he took his own weapon, only for it to be sent flying out of his hands along with him. He would slam into the windshield of the Impala, knocking him out cold.

Lucifer now gripping both sides of her face, finished off the rest of his grace, that eventually poured into her body. Dean ran towards her, the flames around the circle dying out as both of their bodies left falling to the ground. He would move to her body, his hands gripping her face, as he felt the tears that formed the surface fall.

“Why, why did you have to go play the goddamn hero...” He spoke in a whisper, pulling her body up against him. Dean wasn’t sure what this meant, did this mean Lucifer was now possessing her vessel?

Once everyone was returned to the bunker, Cas healed Sam of his injuries.

“Is he still down there?” Cas asked in his low musky tone of voice.

“Uh yeah—he hasn’t left her side. Cas, what are we going to do?”

“I-I don’t know, but for now keeping her locked up in the dungeon, is our best hope for now. Until we can figure out a plan to destroy Lucifer for good.”

Dean was standing in front of the woman he had fallen in love with, she was bound in rope that was drenched in holy water, surrounded by the sigil that would keep Lucifer from trying to escape it, if HE was even in there. She had been passed out since the ritual, the entire thing playing over and over in Dean’s head like a broken record.

Dean wasn’t sure what to do next, but all he knew at that moment was he was going to save her, bring her home, and kill Lucifer, even if it meant 𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑖𝑚𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ𝐹𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑇𝑎𝑔𝑠; @lucishellhound @isabellacugliari-blog ☽︎ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈? 𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑴𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻. 𝑵𝒆𝒘 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒐𝒐𝒏, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒐𝒕𝒔. ♡︎♡︎♡︎

#supernatural #jared padalecki #spn fanfic #supernatural fan fic #jensen ackles #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #sam x reader #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fanfiction #castiel x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer fanfiction #Castiel x Sam

[hauntedpearl]

Okay, but which are your fav soulmates fics?

okay like there are so many is the thing. i was looking through my bookmarks and there's like. 37 in one soulmate tag rip. so I'll TRY to give you some recs but sorry if I miss a few!

- By Any Other Name by everandanon (i mention this so much it's like literally so good I read it very often)

- Famous Last Words, Meet Cute and Fallen Angels by GatesKeeper

- Don't Look Back by goldenraeofsun (side note: just read everything by goldenraeofsun. i did that one weekend and it was such a fun time fr)

- Intangible by tiamatv (THERE'S A GHOST IN THIS ONE!)

- Passing Ships by quiettewandering (this is one of those anti -soulmate au aus where soulmates exist but they're not the endgame pair and honestly the tension and the hurt/comfort in this one are sooooo good like i loved reading it so much!!)

- A Taste of Loneliness by riviere (haven't read this one in a bit but it's very. hmm. i loved the vibes)

- No Need for Dreaming by AsphodeleSauvage (also a super fun time. it's the found family in this one for meee)

- blooming stars by casbean (i just really like when they're killing themselves about having to marry other people and then it turns out they were marrying each other!)

- Plum Tree by vipjuly (made me CRY dude).

- Stripes verse by tiamatv (cas KNITS and dean BAKES and they ARE BEST FRIENDS like DO YOU GET IT)

- For What It's Worth (also has been a hot minute since I read this but it has plum tree vibes and a taste of loneliness vibes and I am obsessed w it)

- Invoke, Conjure and Command by TheSilverQueen (nice lil fantasy action fic very cool i like)

- we can't last tonight, so how do we last forever? by everydayistuesday (oooo this is canon compliant baby)

- peace or freedom? by wmthackeray (another canon compliant one)

- Heart Sense by Nurmengardx (oh this one is sooo angsty and so insane dean is such a dick for a while there and cas has so many issues I was BITING MY NAILS but a great read tbh)

- We Were Broken Then But Now We Are Borderline by angelshotgun (again haven't read this one in a while also but I have vivid memories of some angsty scenes and I think it's def worth a read!)

- above us only sky by kekinkawaii (you know love is apparently crazy and beautiful and sad just like life and this short fic was like. oh my.hesrt)

that's all I have for now! in no particular order! and also not an extensive list! have fun!!! <3333

#doe's fic recs! #doe's inbox #soulmate AUs #destiel fic #also. i read a ton of omegaverse stuff (fun fact! i did start bc of the soulmate aus lol) so like. the true mates stuff #is also fun sometimes #not so fun a lot of the times #mostly bc i don't enjoy smut all that much and like w omegaverse thwy just have to bang it out immediately and im like bleghhhh #but!!! i do love bendingsignpost's melee fic #the courtship of combats #anyway yes sorry it took me so long i was looking through the bookmarks! #also sorrryyy most of these are short I don't read long fic very often!

[castieldelamancha]

There is something different about this particular morning. But Dean can't put his finger on what it is.

The early lights caressing his face through the curtains are the same as always, same tree outside the window, same soft covers around him, same sleepiness clinging to his eyes, making his eyelids heavy.

Unable to notice any external changes he looks inside himself instead and there it is. He looks at Castiel, laying beside him, on his back, sound asleep. He is there, and the usual warm happiness he feels at this sight is there but Dean realizes that the shock is gone. Castiel is there, he always is, Dean doesn't feel the need to pinch himself, reach out and touch just to make sure he isn't a dream, his mind playing tricks on him.

He reaches out anyway, because he is only human and he misses the connection of his bare skin pressed against Castiel's, he slings an arm across Castiel's chest, he resta his thigh on Cas', his foot nudging gently at his calve, nesting at his side, breathing him in, he peppers the skin within his reach with kisses.

"Good morning." Castiel mutters, sleepily, stirring beneath Dean, one of his hands joining the one Dean has splayed over his heart, the other finding his lower back.

"You are going to stay." And it isn't even a question, it's a statement, an invaluable truth. He isn't leaving, not again. Never again.

"For as long as you want me here, Dean." Castiel replies, solemnly, like he doesn't find Dean's sudden revelation strange. It has been five years already, for fuck's sake.

It's not that he didn't trust Cas, or his promises, it's just that his mind could never seem to find this peaceful reassurance he is feeling right now. Always overthinking, running in the same circles.

Forever then, you are staying forever.

He takes a deep breath, "I'm gonna go make us some coffee," he says, instead, ignoring Castiel's protest when he moves away and sits up to leave the bed.

Dean points at him, from the doorway, "keep the bed warm, Cas."

#war is over ✨🎶 #destiel #ficlet #vanessa writes ✨ #tuserpris

[bobwess]

AMA (Down to Agincourt addition) I am once again bored, so here are some more (aka many) questions. As that anon from last year who asked for the elevator pitch, I am so glad I did and gave DtA another shot!!! When did you first start reading it?

When did you first realize how hooked you where with DtA? Was it from moment one? Was there a spesific scene?

Fav of the original side characters?

Fav the original main characters?

Coolest concept that DtA introduced into the SPN world?

If there could be a in-depth prequel written for any of the characters, who's past would you be the most interested in exploring?

If you had to, what would you ranking be of the books?

How many times have you read it all the way through?

What bit of foreshadowing (if any) did you miss the first time around that really jumped out at you on a reread?

Did reading DtA help inspire your own The End fic?

What of the many burning questions currently unanswered do you want answered first?

What's the most interesting non-SPN related fact that DtA taught you?

If normal SPN team free will read/watch/found out about the DtA what do you think their reactions would be?

What's a scene/interaction that still scratches the brain itch?

Have you read The Forever King spin-off series? If so, what are your thoughts?

Yes!! Muahahahaha. Changing the order a bit.

Coolest concept that DtA introduced into the SPN world?

The Winchester House, everything about it, and its entire relationship to Nate. 

The complex rules and magical constraints/potential of metaphysical contamination.

Honorable mention: Lucifer’s plans with the Gods.

But also actually: The Winchester House.

What bit of foreshadowing (if any) did you miss the first time around that really jumped out at you on a reread?

(spoilers) 

The set up for the church paradox. 

Cas, post fall, fever dream, almost dying locked in that cabin bedroom, the unnamed goddess calling him in spirit yet somehow physically into that Church.

Dean, post infection, fever dream, almost dying locked in that cabin bedroom, Cas accidentally calling him in spirit yet somehow physically into that Church. 

All of time and space converging. Dean is the impossible, he was never supposed to be in this universe, Cas accidentally binding them together with those sigils, allowing Cas to connect with Dean in the first place, and also making Dean invisible to Lucifer while he’s physically in that cabin, which he technically is, thus allowing him to shield Lia and thus her able to get him into that church where he and Cas manage to do something and erase the kids' (and both of their) minds. 

There is so much meat there, and every time you re-read there is more. There is so much cool foreshadowing with ALL the players involved, and I literally put together another thread in that during EVERY read-through. 

Someone once asked me my thoughts on what we know happened in the church and it got to 19 pages in google before I had to cut it off pending another re-read of book 4. 

Fav of the original side characters?

I can not separate Nate and the Winchester House, so--

Fav the original main characters?

Vera by a slim margin over Joe.

When did you first start reading it?

It’s hard to remember just because the last three years are a fuzzy mess, but I’m pretty sure I started reading it late 2021/early 2022. I am a fast reader so I demolished it VERY fast. 

When did you first realize how hooked you where with DtA? Was it from moment one? Was there a specific scene? 

After Cas and Dean started properly working together in book 1 I was pretty on board, but once they told Chuck and started their trips into Kansas City, that was when it really settled in and I knew I was about to read the entire thing.

If there could be a in-depth prequel written for any of the characters, who's past would you be the most interested in exploring?

Joe or Teresa. Honestly though I’d really like to see the case Dean worked down by the border. 

If you had to, what would you ranking be of the books?

This is a slim AF margin too, because they’re all so good. But I think it’d be 3,1,4,2 So “A Thousand Lights in Space” “Map of the World” “Game of God” “It’s the Stars That Lie” But it's real neck and neck for the last three.

How many times have you read it all the way through?

Books one and two I have read cover to cover 6 or 7 times, three I probably read a couple more. Book four I’ve actually only read completely cover to cover once, but I have read a lot of it out of order a couple more times. I’m trying to get my fics to a bit more of a stable point so I can re-read it again in case I go off the rails hyper-fixation on it again. I’ll probably read it twice in a row when I read it this next time.

Did reading DtA help inspire your own The End fic?

No, it hindered it greatly. The world building in DtA is very contrary to the plot I have for my endverse fic, and it took a while for my brain to reset and be like “Nope, this is what I’m doing, put that out of your mind.” If I hadn’t read DtA, you’d already have my Endverse fic, because I started writing it before reading that, and had to stop work for straight up like a year. 

What of the many burning questions currently unanswered do you want answered first?

WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED INSIDE THE DAMN CHURCH!?!?!?

What's the most interesting non-SPN related fact that DtA taught you?

Graphene and everything about it.

If normal SPN team free will read/watch/found out about the DtA what do you think their reactions would be?

I think none of them would have any idea what to do with it. Cas would therefore not have much outward expression, Sam would be incredibly awkward and only a little insulted he isn’t in it, and Dean would be 10/10 defensive AF. 

What's a scene/interaction that still scratches the brain itch?

The Winchester Hou- Cas accidentally calling Dean when he’s using Allison as a conduit for the kids in Ichabod, and subsequently their interactions after Cas figures out what happened. 

Close seconds are Cas and Dean’s interaction after Dean gets bit in the courtyard, Cas searching Kansas City with his mind after Dean touched The Ick™. 

And yes actually the retelling of Nate’s interactions with The Winchester House.

Have you read The Forever King spin-off series? If so, what are your thoughts?

I have not read it yet, I must at some point. I know I’ll like it.

-

Also I'm glad my pitch worked and you ended up giving it another go!!

#ama #dta #down to agincourt #dtoa #seperis #endverse #chitaqua

[profoundbondfanfic]

Born to be yours by zation [Explicit, 72k words]

Castiel finds a curious creature in his backyard. Or, The one where Dean wanted an apple but found himself a human instead (and also an apple).

Breathing Into You by casblackfeathers [Explicit, 110k words]

‘Beware the deep sea, that’s where the monsters come from.’ Dean had heard these words since birth, his father’s warnings shaping him into the man he is today. That’s not the root of Dean’s hatred for merpeople, though. Twenty years after the day tragedy had touched the Winchesters’ lives forever as well as the end of the Great War between humans and mer, Dean is still haunted by that moment. But loving the sea is just as much a part of him as the dread for the merfolk, so when he isn’t working at the local bar, he is there, underwater, immersed in the vast blue his mother used to speak of in her bedtime stories. Dean knows, however, that the sea can be as ruthless as it is soothing. When he is caught in the middle of a storm and faces the anger of the waves, the mysterious appearance of a stranger with blue eyes as clear as the waters Dean loves losing himself in forces Dean to question the truth behind his father’s old mantra.

carving deep blue ripples by dothraki_shieldmaiden [Mature, 85k words]

With his little brother at Stanford and his father searching out leads on the monster that killed his mother, Dean Winchester is left to hunt alone. It's fun, except in the ways that it really blows. Things start to turn around when he meets Castiel Novak, another hunter. Castiel is aloof and maybe a little too sarcastic, but he's good backup (and pretty easy on the eyes. Not that Dean's looking or anything). After a few hunts, Dean is willing to make his and Castiel's partnership permanent (and he's not exactly averse to adding another component to their partnership either. After all, he's caught Castiel looking at him just as many times as Castiel's caught him looking). But Castiel is hiding a secret, and it's so explosive that it threatens to not only tear them apart, but also tear apart everything Dean believes in.

Convenient Husbands by Annie D (scaramouche) [Explicit, 39k words]

"It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?"

Dragon Hunt by peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim) [Explicit, 171k words]

What is a former knight fallen from grace supposed to do when one day, after almost a decade of scouring the outskirts of the kingdom for his missing brother, he finds himself confronted with a powerful, terrifying and also ridiculously weird dragon? Yes, exactly: team up with the guy and scam oblivious people out of their money! Easy as that, right? (In which Dean ends up stumbling upon a strange, blue-eyed dragon and before he even knows what's happening he is in way too deep to get out again.)

It's a Small World (aka the Worst Ride at Disneyland) by ireadhpinenochian [Mature, 45k words]

Dean's life didn't start out great. With his mom dying and his father taking him and Sam on wild goose chase after wilder goose chase to track down her killer until Sam couldn't take it anymore and ran off, it pretty much sucked. But now he has Cas. And Cas is great--perfect, even--definitely the best thing that's ever happened to him, even if he isn't quite human. He's been living so long in domestic bliss that he completely forgot to be worried about waiting for the other shoe to drop. Which is, of course, when his giant of a brother strolls back into his life sending Dean into a panic that he and Cas will have to uproot their perfect apple pie life if Sam finds out Cas' big secret.

Like Lightning Under Your Skin by A_Diamond [Explicit, 24k words]

Desperate for a way to save his brother from a demon’s clutches, hunter Dean does the unthinkable and seeks out a supernatural creature for help: a powerful lightning elemental, the kind he and his family should be killing. When his attempt to bind the elemental goes awry, he finds himself psychically connected to it instead. The creature’s emotions bleed into his; its pain echoes into him. Rather than finding the solution to saving Sam, Dean’s given himself a new and even more time-sensitive problem. He has to find a way to master the bond before the rest of the hunters decide he’s too far gone and put him down. The trouble is that the more time he spends connected to the elemental’s thoughts, the more he starts to wonder if they don’t have it all wrong. Maybe the creature, which calls itself Castiel, doesn’t deserve to be slaughtered; maybe the rest of its kind hadn’t deserved that, either. Or maybe that’s just Castiel’s voice in his head.

Man in the Wilderness by OneHundredSuns [Explicit, 68k words]

Dean Winchester is fresh out of Purgatory along with every other Tom, Dick and Wendigo that called the cesspool home. As the monsters lay waste to the Earth and eat anything they can get their hands on, Dean sets out to find his only remaining family so that they can hunker down and fight the assholes head on. He doesn’t mean to stumble upon Castiel Novak and his adorable twins in the middle of the apocalypse and he sure as hell doesn’t mean to offer them a ride to wherever they are trying to get to. But the world is a dangerous place now and he’s always been a sucker for blue eyes and cute kids. So he’ll help them out and just hope it doesn’t get him or them killed in the process.

Miasma by ValandraWrites [Explicit, 13k words]

Dean's grown up with a monster under his bed. They kind of became friends. Then they kind of became more than friends.

The Graveyard Shift by PurgatoryJar, riseofthefallenone [Explicit, 620k words]

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

#destiel #group rec #creature!castiel #creature!dean #halloween

[thevioletcaptain]

Kind of a Buddy of Mine

14.8k | Mature | DeanCas

It’s been sixty-five days since they left Alliance, and Cas is still seven inches tall. He's the one thing that Jesse Turner didn't put back to normal before he took off for greener pastures, and Dean figures he's holding a grudge. On some level, he can’t really blame him. Cas did try to kill the kid, after all. Still, it does seem kinda harsh to have left Cas looking like G.I. Joe’s Corporate Cousin for the rest of forever. With the apocalypse looming, Dean is determined to find a solution.

Sitting at a bar in Harrisonburg, Virginia, Dean slips Cas from the inside pocket of his jacket and carefully turns him around in his hands. He’s not sure why he’s bothering. It has to be two dozen times that he’s checked him over for some clue he missed this week alone, and it's not as though something new is going to just pop into existence after two months of nothing, but... well. The latest lead they had went absolutely nowhere, and he’s gotta do something.

It's been sixty-five days, now. He’s trying not to worry that this is gonna be permanent. He’s really fucking trying.

Since they left Alliance, he and Sam have checked out anything and everything that looked like it might have been remotely connected to Jesse in the hope that if they could just talk to him again, they might convince him to put Cas back to normal. Every single time it’s turned out to be something else.

First time was pixies. Second was a witch. Their latest lead, the one that first brought them to Virginia a few days ago, ended up being the work of some kind of malevolent trickster whose entire shtick was making you think you'd almost achieved some long-wanted goal, just to rug-pull and create utter chaos once he had you on board. Worst possible hunt they could've found themselves on right now, as far as Dean's concerned. He's fucking wiped. Mentally exhausted. One more false lead away from straight up having a total emotional breakdown.

Sam didn't even argue when Dean said he needed to grab a drink before he could think about packing up their motel room. He'd just nodded, and clapped Dean on the back, and headed for the passenger seat, still smelling faintly of lighter fluid thanks to the sage-and-flambe method it had taken to deal with their monster of the week.

That was all of twenty minutes ago.

Now, Dean is ordering beers at the first bar they happened upon, while Sam is outside in the parking lot finishing up a call with Bobby, his collar turned up against the lightly falling snow.

At least, Dean plans to order beers, just as soon as the bartender stops chatting up some other patron at the opposite end of the bar. Until then, he takes the time to look at Cas some more. Carefully, he raises and lowers his arms. Lifts up his coat to check if there's a clue hidden in the lining.

When he turns him back around, he notices a smudge of something on his face, high up on his plastic cheek bone, just below his bright blue left eye. Dirt, maybe. Or ash from the hunt. Dean licks the pad of his thumb and gingerly rubs it away, only remembering after he’s done it that Cas might very well be conscious of what’s happening. He grimaces.

“That never happened,” he mutters, just in case, and hears a snort from behind the bar. When he looks up, he finds the bartender has finally come to take his order. He's looking at Dean with a raised brow and an amused tilt to his mouth.

“Nice doll.”

“He’s not a doll,” Dean says, a little sharper than he intended, and the guy’s eyebrow lifts even higher. Right. Probably not the best thing to say if he doesn’t want to seem like a weirdo. He clears his throat and makes a cursory attempt at backtracking. “He’s, uh. It’s an action figure.”

[keep reading on Ao3]

#deancas fic #destiel fic #cass writes fic #spn fic #the deancas of us all #crack treated seriously #imogenbynight