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0coldphantom0 · 2 years

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Reasons why they get no bitches: ✨La Squadra edition!✨

Back at it again with some lovely ☺️ personal headcanons for them jojo bois.

Ps.My askbox is open for requests so send me any requests ( make them juicy).If i catch any minor asking for nsfw stuff you will be 🌸blocked 🌸

Risotto:

- Given how the mafia works, i presume theres a certain quota most ppl have to follow as to not get killed or be looked down upon, so him being in a relationship would place him at a disadvantage strategically speaking.

- Not to assume there haven’t been moments where he could’ve gotten bitches.I have a presumption that somewhere down his Passione career one or two unlucky bastards tried to bribe him with promises of pussy in the hopes of living to tell the tale.It didnt work.

- Im a sole believer that if this man was ever pissed off by a woman hed forcefully make her bleed from her cooch istg ( this is a joke.I am joking, please dont come for me i am but a mere idiot)

- “Im on my period” “im aware :)”

- ✨attachment issues✨:/.

- Lacks the ability to turn off his work mode aka will intimidate ppl without wanting to

- Hyper analyses your body language to a point where you can’t decipher whether hes checking u out or planning how big the hole he must dig for your corpse gotta be smh what a turn off

- Socially inept oh whats that a convo needing his opinion thats not related to his work?? * turns invisible*

- Whats that a convo needing his opinion that IS related to his work??? You a cop or smth?Dont ever ask that again

- Many would find his field of work impossible to adapt to, lets for a second imagine living codependently with an absolute felon, this man went to jail for sure.Most people look funny at smokers let alone someone like him.

- Not to mention the utter anxiety he without realising creates.Sure its fun to cause someone to twitch in fear when theyre some dude you gotta off but when youre the one sitting in front of this man and all he does is squint in disapproval, or lowers his tone…it can only cause for some issues.( unless youre into that then sure have fun being on the edge all the time ig )

- He bottles his emotions and denies the extent of his affections, so man probably wont tell you how he feels abt things, and i can bet money that if youre an emotional kinda pal, he’ll disregard your feelings a lot “because how is there something to fix when nothing is broken “ and “deal with it” are his go to.

Pesci:

- *vaguely gestures at his whole design *

- Either examines everything his crush does with a fine comb or the opposite.This can lead to some awkward instances where he either spews out the most incomprehensible gibberish before making a run for it or not hear a single word if you ask him a question, ending up in him forgetting where and what he is doing.

- Got that heavy dose of toxic masculinity and inferior complex all thanks to all the other guys he hangs with ( im looking at you illuso, cheese and ham >:()

- With that being said its safe to assume that most of the time hes also used as the butt of the joke or even as a leeway to the other members in his group to yoink a gal or two due to his gullibility.Hed be the ugly fool whod annoy the wee damsel and in turn lead to someone else “intervening “ ( in short, prosciutto has and will steal any girl pesci likes as means of teaching the boy a “lesson “ which is bullshit,we all know he’s doing if for fun )

- Push over and a half

- Shitty fashion sense

- I dont believe this man has ever fucked.Like, at all.

-bitchboy and a half, i feel like the moment you raise your voice he winces. Go girl give us lack of confidence, im sure thats attractive :/

- am convinced this man knows zero abt girls, to a point where if he held hands with one his brain would implode.

- I do believe he in a way over glorified being part of the mafia similar to Giorno. The big difference between them is that whilst golden boy drank piss to end kids having a meth addiction, My headcanon is that Pesci thought hed be gaining some respect and power by joining the gang, and spitefully be able to rub it in whoever’s face he could.This also means getting bitches- in this moment he fails to acknowledge said bitches are far and few for his organisation ( unless youre counting prostitutes)and the ones who do be, are probably not going to mingle with someone from the hitman team.

Prosciutto:

- smokes like a chimney (when stressed)and prob a big coffee drinker, i cant imagine finding that pleasant when kissing

- Cheapskate for anything that isnt him. He will buy those gucci socks, for himself.Depending on how much worth he places on the “bitches” hell either flaunt money but share none or hand u a generous tip of 5 lire and tell u to get urself someting nice:)

- Has this sense of entitlement worse than illuso, and also a bit of a saviour complex.Sure on the surface it might come off as him being patient and wating to provide for the crush, unfortunately this manifests through him controlling not only what you do but your opinion on any matter too.Should you speak / act out of line, you now have to redeem urself by kissing ass :/

- everything becomes monitored too.Hes basically in the mindset of training this person to be his ideal from the getgo. Isnt that so wonderfull.

- Imagine if your s/o bitched abt everything you do like a strict parent… how hot…😒

- Kinda misogynistic ngl, even by the standarts of then, hes got a very set way of thinking and acting around someone depending on their gender. Now if you happen to be nonbinary, depending on “which side of the scale you lean on” and by that i mean if prosciutto considers you more masc / fem leaning he will treat you as such.neither side is more torelable than the other, hes temperamental as shit.

- Reeks of that toxic masculinity, i can therefore say this man will never show an ounce of vulnerability thats genuine.ever.

- He cares abt his outward appearance to a point where he deadass cant take a joke.Its fine if he picks on how you dress but for someone to do that to him??? No.

- Also has a bit of a substance problem. I headcanon him as enjoying a little bit of that cocaina and some opium from time to time.

Illuso:

- hes just a massive dickhead all year round

- Snoops worse than the rats in your walls ONG

- Zero privacy with this guy, he knows exactly what you’re doing all the time and will use that to pull shitty pranks on you

- He will also use said knowlege to your disadvantage. Cant back out of his dates due to a “tight schedule” because he knows everything you do in a week and should you try to bluff him HE WILL KNOW.Throws a tantrum like no other if you dont wanna hang out with him.

- Will guilttrip you into oblivion.Theres also a chance of him verbally and physically bullying you as means of all the attention to be on him.

- Believes hes a god sent gift to the world.why are you laughing???? Hes hot shit???

- Gaslighting is his middle name. Illuso cant take rejection at all, he cant accept someone he finds attractive to not feel the same about him.

- Narcissistic and a liar. He gives me the vibe of someone who will not tell you anything truthfull about what he does and who he is and thats due to both his workfield scaring off potential “bitches” and because he think no matter the person, theyll try to manipulate him into doing something he doesnt want/ useless to him.

- Possesiveness issues. Hell deny it into oblivion but the apple of his eye is his and his only- his jealousy knows no bounds so should you literally care abt anything or someone else hell turn it into a “its all about illuso” moment.

- Oh , youre getting all dolled up to go out, its for illuso. Reading a book? Youre doing it for him to notice!Shivering because you are cold?? You want him to come and hold you. Mind you theres a 50/50 chance hes applying said thinking to someone who is unaware of his existence.just like Ghiaccio.yikes.

Melone:

- his criminal record

- Depraved mf worse than the guys youd find on 4chan

- The type of guy you never want to own favours to under any circumstances

- he is a noncon enthusiast ,i wont elaborate

- Foot fetish . No.just no. Out of all body parts???? Really??!?!

- Lets not even talk abt his stand we all know they r meant to represent the persons soul…..so his just erm 👁👁

- To add to that, hes a bit of a psychpath, in the sense that as much as he seems eager to jump into someones pants, he lacks in the “human connection “ department.

- Idk man Melone gives me the vibes of an individual who can act normal but thats it, its all an “act”. His affections and speech is very coordinated, almost as if hes running an experiment with the person he finds attractive.You can sense that the persona he give off is not genuine, rather scripted- and it probably is because he fails to understand emotions to begin with.This will make you uncomfortable so kudos to that :(.

- Big time commitment issues. The probability of him seeking out several “bitches” at the same time in the same place is 99% likely and has in the past lead people into a sense of trust and security only to pull back and act like theyre a total stranger.

- His opinion changes like the weather depending on who he talks to. Melone has the ability to agree and disagree about a topic in the same sentence. Sure he can pick up on the topic and be quite informative,as long as its factual information.This can be a bitch to deal with if you ask him anything or are Ghia and wanna vent out your frustrations.

- Will definetly not care about your boundaries. The scary part is hell twist it so that should you try to protest or bring it up, itll fall on deaf ears.

- Got in trouble in the past for slipping drugs into peoples drinks to watch and see what happens for his own entertaintment,including his coworkers outside misions.

- He also wont hesitate to hack any device you use as means to finding blackmail in case you try anything funny.(and take some dna for babyface if he really considers you a nuisance)

Formaggio:

- personal hygiene has left the chat, id be very wary to shaking hands with this mofo becus he does not wash his hands, let alone anything else

- Probably makes very crude jokes at the worse moments in convos

- He also gives me the vibes of that kid in the neighbourhood who killed small animals and set fire to shit for fun.He prob still does this (this is supported by the spider torture scene and the fact that he treat his cat like shit)

- His pickup lines suck ass, you will visibly cringe

- Sneaky bastard, anyone who catches his attention has at some point or another been spooken by his ability to appear at any given moments due to his stand.Good luck trying to hide something from him or talk shit.Will also use his ability to be a complete creep and compliment how you smell of your underwear choice, even if you ,a, never uttered a word to him or ,b, were nowhere close near him…..yeh..

- Hes the one who will kiss ass so much to a point where everything he does and says ends up making him look slightly unhinged and desperate.Not below straight up pestering you until you finally agree to something ( sex or doing what he wants)

- He sure talks an awaful lot but thats about it. The old bark and no bite kinda deal. He will take you out to expensive dinner he says and then he takes you to the cheapest bar he can get drunk at, only to make you stop bringing his promises up again.Will act a stranger to your dissatisfaction!

- A bit of a leech. Hes known to have broken into his crushes house to “borrow something”, yes your valubles and underwear are gone.

- Good luck living with him because he doesnt pick up after himself at all.He makes the kitchen and bathroom a health hazard AND doesnt flush the toilet either.

- Another one with trust issues. Because hes a nuisance and a bit insecure ( but to lazy to put in the effort) hes bound to blame other people for things he does and will be very quick to accuse a person of not being faithful, even if theres zero evidence.Rebutting this will be hard and he can only be shot down by doing what he wants, and apologising even if you did nothing wrong.

- Hates being given the cold shoulder and will call you every name in the book if you dont stop.

- Will act clueless when things get hectic and only apologise after theres no chance of fixing it. “Sorry about the toaster bbygorl dw ill buy you another”. He wont, but will get mad about not getting to enjoy toast at your place anymore.

- Like Illuso he can be a bully. Will mock and pick on you to get a rise outta you and to make his teammates laugh. He will pretend like nothing is wrong AND get butthurt if you pull away from him when he wants a kiss.

Ghiaccio:

- ……… where do i start

- That scowl alone is enough honestly

- Hes got the posture of a shrimp, so fine so curved ( bitch me too) and its all because of his laptop use.

- I can see him try to impress someone by bitching abt something to appear smart but it ends up in a one way convo, even if you try to join in he cuts you off or talks over you

- Overly cocky . I applaud his determination to be the best™️ in everything he does- heres the problem, no body likes a smartass with a temperament aqute to that of a Tasmanian devil.

- Assumes things about his potential love interest but never actually asks whether or not said presumptions are true or false. And he never will, unless you spell it out for him due to his inability to admit he could ever be wrong about what their fav activities are, after all HE picked this person and HE knows best.

- He believes he can read a person to filth. Sure that may be true regarding anything to do with his work aka body language and weaknesses- but that doesn’t necessarily apply to personal stuff sooo….

- Issues with control. Ghiaccio will always have the upper hand in his relationship or so help whoever happens to be the closest to him.Genuinely cant envision this man feeling comfortable if the crush happens to be a bit more on the independent side of tings.As much as hed love a debate buddy hed rather you just agree with him so he can get to his point.

- And the funny part is that he’s probably a big hypocrite with that too.Ah the double standard of having to please a man who cant admit anyone being better than him yet at the same time wants somebody who he can swing about like a trophy and tell the rest of his teammates that they can shove it up their ass cuz “hes got the hottest bitch, and it wasn’t by means of money or threatening, its because hes JUST SO DAMN BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE”

- Ghiaccio’s keen eye and expertise in the how “to get bitches “ means he’s already on his third honeymoon with the love of his life who can only be so happy they get to fuck him and be tolerated by him and ooo theyre in the bedroom and-

- Have I mentioned this process of thinking is taking place whilst lurking and stalking the person rather than being a normal human being and just go and have a chat? Oh I haven’t? It’s probably because the ice gremlin has gone a few steps ahead of his plan but forgot to actually touch base with said person and is instead intently staring at them like a maniac without blinking.From across the room.Even Melone is throwing him side glances.

-Physical touch. Has a habit of being grabby should the crush show a smidge of interest in him.Ice boy will take every opportunity to have some part of him touching the person, annoyingly so, because he himself is touched starved.Dont try to reciprocate said touch unless you’re planning to be smothered consistently by his advances.If you’re thinking its soft uwu touches you’re very wrong. His composure makes it seem like he’s challenging you to a fight more than asking to snuggle.Very anxiety inducing and rather hard to get out of his grip once he has you.

- Lord forbid his target is talking to another person he deems a threat because hes prone to start fights and has ended many with plenty of people having a trip to the ER

- he drives with pure unadulterated malice and will curve swerve every chance he gets so any bitch he does get will definitely end up with severe nausea and promptly make an exit turn the moment they get out the car.

Sorbet and Gelato:

-Deadass, if they’re seeking anyone, that person will go missing.

- They have each other, thats facts, they are the bitches, the gay bitches.good for them

-I dont think anyone is capable of dealing with these two because all they care about is money and violence, anything else is considered unnecessary and a waste of time.

- Any “bitches” desiring their affections will be shot down on the spot, with a gun.Most likely by Gelato because hes a very possessive and jealous mf.Sorbet is very aware of this and unless hes bored and wants to see some discourse, he will be very unapproachable to a point where you have to be void of any fight or flight instinct to get close.

-Theyre a couple with a lack of care to anyone who doesn’t provide them with money, entertainment or drugs and the only affection they show is to one another.Any unlucky soul who somehow ended up in their bedroom will die miserably.

-Sadists with a capital ,s, if theyre down to be part of the hitman team for financial gain do you honestly believe they have any consideration for peoples lives, let alone their feelings???? Yeah no.

-Dont you also find it quite interesting that they were the first of the squadra to go?? Like for a second there sure, “it’s because they tried to get information” on diavolo, but I also have a feeling they could’ve been a genuine threat to the boss.I like to believe that if they didnt get offed so quickly, the way the squadra organised their traitor plans would’ve probably earned more damage to the Passione’s business than even Bruno’s team.

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r0z0 · 2 years

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You know how kids usually have silly fears (someone will drag me under water if I enter the swimming pool. Or, I'm not going upstairs alone, there's a monster). What would the La Squadra Kid be afraid of? How would the dads help them overcome their fear?

Lil Squadra — what are they afraid of?

Risotto's daughter ( Focaccia )

Birds. Escpecially parrots. Don't take her to a zoo.

Dad bought her these plastic little birds and she love them.

Prosciutto's son ( Emiliano )

Spiders and girls. Like every little boy.

Prosciutto tried to help him, but he doesn't know how to make him like girls. This situation is really suspicious.

Pesci's daughters ( Gianna & Agnese )

Their father being angry, which is very rare, since Pesci has a big soft spot for his daughters.

He sometimes just can't get angry, but he still tries to have talk&do about their mischiefs.

Melone's children ( Alesaandro, Agostina, Adele & Anastasia )

Their fathers stand. And their mom angry, since Melone spoils them too much.

Anastasia has a bad separation anxiety, since she is the youngest and always has someone to play with her or take care of her.

Anastasia is too small to be sent to a therapy or start exercises to fight with her fear. Melone still tries to make his children overcome their fears and like his stand, as it is a important part of him.

Formaggio's sons ( Valerio & Salvatore )

They absolutely hate and fear their bio mother. She had clear obsessions and was verbally abusing.

Both are scared of the dark and Risotto's daughter when she is mad.

Their mother suddenly disapeared, when Formaggio found out she had hurt his new fiance, so the boys are curently living their best life.

Illuso's son ( Lorenzo )

Touching his fathers beauty packs and other stuff that is in his bathroom.

Very scared of dogs and whales. This man is also scared of the old record player that his dad has in his bedroom. He said its possesd.

Illuso thinks playing songs on his old record player will help but it only makes things worse.

Ghiaccio's son ( Fiorenzo )

His dad yelling at him for doing stupid thing like licking the lightbulb.

Otherwise this child is scared of nothing, except other children.

Ghiaccio just tries to keep him from trouble and harm.

Sorbet & Gelato's children ( Sergio, Alfredo & Sofia )

Sergio is only scared of the dark.

Alfredo is scared of the butterflies and insects.

Sofia hates snakes and lizards. Her current fear is the big bathtub in her parents bathroom.

Gelato is curently always bringing bugs or little lizards with him home from garden and it only makes Sofia cry.

Sergio once locked himself in the basement and escaped through window. Still afraid of dark.

#lil squadra #la squadra #jjba #ghiaccio #prosciutto #la squadra di esecuzione #vento aureo #ghiaccio x reader #risotto x reader #melone #risotto nero #ghiacco #pesci jjba #jjba prosciutto #jjba formaggio #jjba illuso #sorbet x gelato x reader #risotto pls marry me #la squadra as dads

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multifandomthoughts · 8 months

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TW: Zombies, character death, blood/gore, flesh eating, mentions of anger

It’s late at night, the moon is full, and you don’t know where your boyfriend is. Normally you’d brush it off, knowing that your boyfriend gets angry easily and has to go for a walk, but he’s been gone later than usual.

When you first met him, he seemed really into you! You were the only one that could quell his anger! But things have been a bit different lately; he’s been more withdrawn, more quick to anger, and been taking these longer walks.

Something else that you’ve noticed about him is that he’s not eating as much. And when he does, his stomach growls, as if that thing he just ate didn’t satisfy his hunger at all.

You step outside into the crisp autumn air, and into your yard. You notice a stench that you can’t quite put your finger on; You’re intrigued, but also a little bit frightened, so you decide to follow the stench. You walk down the street, as the smell becomes more and more pungent. A strange liquid coats your shoe as the night concealed it from the street lamps.

You’re becoming more and more afraid of what this could possibly be, as knowing your boyfriend, anything could happen. You follow the now constant trail of liquid until it leads you to a secluded area. Large growls, crunching, and unintelligible sounds are heard as you come across a gaunt man with flaky skin.

His sunken eyes dart to you, and as you move closer, a light flashes on due to the motion. It’s your boyfriend, with a freshly deceased corpse in his arms. His blue curls are stained with blood as you let out a ear piercing shriek.

“Ghiaccio, what happened to you?” You begin to sob, as you don’t know what’s going on and you’re visibly frightened. You hug the wall, relying on it as the only thing keeping you standing. This is clearly not the man you started dating. You don’t know how he’s been able to hide the physical changes, but he did a damn good job.

“I-I can explain….” He stammers, his voice much deeper and rougher than before. “I went out to do a job, and the job went south, resulting in me getting heavily injured. I ended up getting shot multiple times and was bleeding out. I was going to see if I could get to a pay phone and call you, but it was too little too late. I closed my eyes and took my final breath. Until I woke up a few hours later in a pool of my own dried blood like nothing had happened. I then noticed that each day when I woke up, my skin had begun to crumble, and I hid it with some of your extra makeup. I also became hungry for the flesh of others, and the only way to satiate it was to eat it…”

“Ghiaccio, look what you did to them! Look what you did!” You cried out. You hoped that in your hear that he would feel guilt and remorse for what he had done, that he would still be able to feel human emotions. Looking down at the frankly desecrated corpse, he begins to cry. “I can’t help it! It’s a natural instinct and the more I try to fight it, the urge just becomes stronger and stronger….it’s even worse when I become angry. My rage consumes me and I often act without thinking. it’s lead to more than one incredibly mutilated corpse.”

You pull him into a hug as you do your best not to crush his already frail body. Suddenly, you get an idea in your head. “Have you told work about what happened to you?” You say, a devilish grin crawling over your face. You love him so much, and want to make sure that he has sustenance whenever he needs it. “Why don’t you tell them, I bet they could discretely help you find things to eat while at work…and when you’re at home, I can find things for you to eat. I also bet that work is willing to cover things up to keep your condition a secret.”

Ghiaccio sniffles and nods. “I love you so much, and I’ll do whatever I need to make sure you’re happy. I don’t need to worry about you being healthy, because you’re dead.” You say, poking a fun jab at him. Ghiaccio clears his throat and speaks slowly, doing his best to make sure his words come across right.

“I’m sorry I scared you, I didn’t mean to. To be honest, I wanted to keep the facade up as long as I possibly could. I didn’t want to go into a rage and potentially hurt you, someone that I love.” You sigh and respond in kind. “It’s alright, I’m sorry that I screamed so loudly and was practically making a scene. I didn’t know what was going on, and I was afraid of what was going on in front of me. I didn’t like the possibility that you could hurt me. But now I know you won’t.”

Gripping Ghiaccio’s bony hand, you pull him up to his feet. Now, the real question is…..

“How will we hide the body?”

#jjba #jjba x reader #jojo’s bizarre adventure x reader #jojo’s bizarre adventure golden wind #ghiacco #ghiaccio x reader

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bombtype3 · 1 year

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"Di molto!"

#jjba #digital art #melone #ghiacco #jojo part 5 #jojo x reader #jojo no kimyō na bōken #jojo's bizarre adventure #melone x reader

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ravenzeppeli · 2 months

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Claimed

Chapter 9 - Disagreements |La Squadra x Reader|

Warning: MA.

Risottos POV

"It's been four goddamn days," Prosciutto snapped, his hand balling into a fist as he slammed it on the coffee table, glaring at Melone. "Bring her back now! I'm growing impatient."

Melone glared back, his glare more meanicing than Prosciuttos. "Why? Should I bring her back so you can beat her? You want to fucking hurt her."

"I've never once hurt her," he quickly snapped, his tone defensive. "I would never fucking beat on her. Did she fucking say something to you?"

Melone let out a dry laugh, "I wish she would say something to me. She won't talk bad about any of you to me, but I see things. I notice bruises on her!"

"She's dating all seven of us," Formaggio added in, "you can't keep her from us. She isn't even answering my texts. What's up with that?" Just as he said that he phone beeped, him taking it off the table and flipping it open. "The fuck? How did she know I was talking about her?" He looked around frantically, his phone beeping again. "She just texted hi and okay. Goddamn it, why does she text like this?"

Illuso was quiet, his red eyes staring at the ground. "I didn't mean to punch her. Just fucking bring her back."

"What if she doesn't want to come back?" Ghiaccio added in, causing Risotto to look over at him. Ghiacco seemed the least interested in you, so to hear him chime in made him curious as to what he was going to say. "Aside from Melone, what are we doing as men to be a good boyfriend to her? I know I'm not putting in any efforts. Is anyone else, aside from Melone?"

"I put in effort with her," Formaggio said, causing Ghiaccio to let out a scoff. "What? I do put forth a good effort. She doesn't need much, she has all of us. Does she really need all of us?"

"The only thing you provide her with is sex, and it seems like she's pleasing us more than we're pleasing her," snapped Ghiaccio, causing Formaggio to shrug. "She's not happy at all. She's miserable. Risotto, did she even want to date all of us? Did she even want to join?"

Risotto knew that this question was coming, and he didn't feel bad about what he was about to share with the men. In his eyes, he personally felt like he had to take you. It was clear you were troubled, immediately shooting down two men. The fact that you were already selling drugs for Luca made it easy to take you, considering how high up he was he simply just told Luca that you would be joining his team. Risotto was a capo, Luca had no choice but to obey his command.

With you.. it was a little complicated. He did technically take you with the intention of manipulating you into this, but you didn't even put up a fight. You said no a little, seeming hesitant, but after he sat and spoke to you for a while, he was able to convince you that this was a good lifestyle for someone so unique. And you were unique. He didn't even feel the need to dissect your mental problems. He saw them as quirks that tied you to the team. He had a sick way of thinking, but when he saw you, he really wanted to keep you.

"She might have been hesitant at first, but she eventually agreed," Risotto said, never being the type of Capo to lie to his men. "If she had refused, I would have still found a way to manipulate her into staying."

"Did you make her sigh a contract?" Pesci questioned, his voice low as he asked, filled with slight fear.

"I did," Risotto replied.

"Did you ever threaten to kill or do anything bad to her?" Melone asked, his eyes wary as he looked around at the rest of the teammates.

Risotto shook his head. "Never once have I threatened to kill or torture her. My true intentions are exactly what I explained to all of you." He leaned forward slighly, his eyes landing on Illuso. "Now I know some of you will feel the need to smack or spank her, and that's fine. It isn't my business how you privately handle her, but try not to punch her. She's a girl Illuso, was it really necessary to punch her in her face? You could have broken her jaw. Did she attack you or threaten you in a way that gave you no choice but to punch her?"

Illuso shook his head, "she just said something I didn't agree with, and I lost my temper. I shouldn't have punched her. It won't happen again."

"I don't like the idea of any of you hitting her," Melone snapped, the aggression in his tone rising. "You know she isn't.. she's different. You can't hit on her. She's going to end up doing something crazy."

"It is necessary to discipline your girlfriend. Spanking is a great form of punishment. It won't permanently injure her, but it will leave a sting and humiliate her into acting right," Prosciutto began, and Risotto knew this was about to possibly start an explosive argument "She needs to listen to us. We are men. She belongs to us, and we take care of her."

"Hey Prosciutto, how many ex-wives do you have?" Melone questioned, causing Prosciutto to shoot a glare at him. "Hey Prosciutto, didn't they all file to leave you?"

"Those women.. they don't matter! They couldn't handle a real man." Prosciutto stood up, pointing a finger at Melone. "When she ends up pissing you off, remember what I said. One day, you'll end up having no choice but to hit her because all women end up stepping out of line. And maybe Illuso shouldn't have punched her, but take into consideration that she might have deserved it."

Risotto raised his hand to his face, rubbing his forehead in frustration. He always assumed you would be the one to give the men trouble, but it seemed to be the complete opposite.

"How could you say that?" Pesci questioned, shock in his voice. Risotto raised his head, slightly stunned that he seemed to be defending you. "How could you say that she deserves to be hurt like that? That's cruel Prosciutto."

Prosciutto shot Pesci a glance, his eyebrows raising. "She'll be fine. Discipline will help her, and the pain will only make her stronger." He shrugged, causing Melone to stand up. "Do you really wanna step up to me over that girl?"

"She's not just a fucking girl!" Melone screamed, attempting to walk past Risotto to get to Prosciutto. Risotto then stood up, stepping between the two men. "I love her, and she loves me! I will fucking die for her, I'll die without her!"

Prosciutto scoffed, "she doesn't fucking love you. She doesn't love any of us, she's simply here for our personal pleasure and that's it."

"She told me straight to my face that she loved me and I believe her. You be fucking careful what you do to her," Melone snapped back. "And Illuso, punch her in the face again and I'll fucking dislocate your goddamn jaw!"

"That bitch is lying to you," Illuso suddenly snapped, standing up. "She doesn't love you! How could she love you?" He sounded like he was in disbelief.

"The only bitch here is you," Melone snapped back. "And I feel sorry for Y/N for having to be with someone as pathetic as you and Prosciutto. You two.. fuck you both."

Risotto placed his hand on Melones shoulder, gently guiding him to sit back down in his seat. He always tried his best to never pick sides or say his opinion, unless it was work related, then he was in charge. But with you, it was a unique situation. He may have been the one that brought you here, but you weren't spending time with him. You spent most of your time with the three men currently arguing about you.

Personally, Risotto leans more towards Prosciuttos' viewpoints, agreeing that discipline was necessary. He just didn't agree with punching, finding it unnecessary since you were a girl and weren't doing anything wrong. You had a smart mouth, and you were obviously having trouble adjusting. He felt as if he couldn't hold that against you.

"Don't fucking punch her unless she's trying to kill you or unless it is necessary," Risotto finally spoke, annoyance in his tone. "I doubt it will ever be necessary so just slap her. I don't fucking care, but I swear if one of you permanently injure that girl, I'll permanently injure you." He then turned towards Melone, looking down at him. "I'm going go go get her and bring her back now. You, I, Prosciutto, and Pesci need to leave tomorrow for a mission. I told you this two days ago Melone."

Melone turned towards Ghiaccio, "Will you please watch her while I'm away? Please, make sure nobody hurts her."

Ghiaccio sighed, shooting a glare at Melone. "Fine, I'll fucking watch her. Whatever. The wifi is stronger here then at my house anyways." He wouldn't say no to Melone, the two having a close friendship and understanding of each other.

"What about me?" Formaggio questioned, sounding defensive. "Y/N likes me. I mean, you can ask her, I'm sure she'll nod her head or something."

Melone raised his eyebrows, reaching in his pocket, pulling out his keys and handing them to Risotto. "If a random man were to hit her, would any of you defend her? Would any of you truly protect her, or would you just let her fucking die?"

"Well, obviously, a random man can't touch her. She's our piece of ass. Only we can slap her around," Formaggio joked, Melone shaking his head. "Come on, Melone, just ease up. She's taken care of pretty well."

"We keep her here so that she's protected, Melone," Prosciutto snapped. "She also has rules so that she's safe. We have so many fucking enemies, we have to be strict in order to protect her from getting raped and murdered."

Formaggio nodded his head, "Exactly. See? We all want to protect her, Melone. We all just have different ways of going about it. So just relax, why can't we all get along?" He grabbed Illusos wrist, forcing him to sit down on the couch. "Just throw her over your lap and spank her. That way, it'll at least turn her on a little."

Melone shook his head, burying his face in his hands, causing Formaggio to let out a laugh, leaning forward to smack Formaggios knee. "Come on, Melone, we all like her. Alright? She's our girlfriend, our cheerleader. She does a great job at sucking us off."

Illuso nodded, "that's a fucking fact. She can definitely suck dick like a pro. Goddamn she's hot, I'll give her that."

"Has she sucked your dick Pesci?" Formaggio asked Pesci, causing Pesci to immediately get up, face turning red as he rushed out the front door. "Was that a yes or a no?"

-----

As Risotto pulled up in front of Melones small home, he saw you sitting on the front steps, staring ahead. When you noticed Risotto, you stood up, grabbing your bag as you began to walk towards his car.

Risotto stepped out, quickly walking towards you, causing you to suddenly freeze up, clutching your bag tightly as he approached you. "Are you okay?" He asked you, grabbing your bag, his other arm wrapping around your shoulder, guiding you towards the car.

"Yes.. are you mad at me?" Your voice was low, eyes staring at the ground as he opened the car door for you. He opened the back seat, throwing your bag in his backseat, gently closing the door.

"I have no reason to be mad at you," he replied, closing your door before he walked to his side, climbing in. He reached a hand towards you, buckling your seat belt before you could do it yourself. "Do you want to talk about what happened between you and Illuso with me?"

You shook your head, "I just want to try and forget about it."

He nodded his head, "Let's get you back home then." He buckled his seat belt before pulling off. He kept one hand on the steering wheel, placing the other on your thigh as he drove you back home. You belonged with them. He knew deep within his heart that you belonged to them. And even if you didn't belong to them, he would make sure you did.

#tw mature #tw adult themes #tw sex mention #tw everything #ravenzeppeli #jojos bizarre adventure #jjba #tw strong language #tw language #la squadra #claimed la squadra #ravenzeppeli claimed #la squadra claimed

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m00dyblue3 · 11 months

Text

I wanted to introduce the stuff I write :3

I write any ships as long as it’s legal and not weird. I don’t want any Proshippers on my page pls I ended up getting a request from someone that was absolutely not okay. I just want to write fanfics on characters I like.

ships I will write:

Jojolion: Yasuho x Josuke

Steel Ball run: Johnny x Gyro, Diego x Hot Pants

Stone Ocean: Jolyne x Anasui, Jolyne x Ermes, Weather Report x Anasui, Jotaro x His wife (Marina is it??)

Golden Wind: Bruno x Abbacchio, Fugo x Giorno, Narancia x Mista, Trish x Sheila E, Prosciutto x Risotto, Melone x Ghiacco

Diamond is Unbreakable: Koichi x Yukako, Josuke x Okayasu, Aya x Tomoko,

Stardust Crusaders: Jotaro x Kakyoin

Battle Tendency: Joseph x Caesar, Joseph x Suzi Q, Kars x Esidisi

Phantom Blood: Jonathan x Erina

Genres of writings I write:

Fluff: Yes

angst: Definitely

smut: Depends

That’s all :3

(P.S. I don’t do X Reader stuff)

#writing #jjba #writer #jjba fanfic #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo #jojo kimyou na bouken #fanfic

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abbynx · 2 years

Text

Slumber party with La Squadra 🎉💅

Genre: Headcanons, crack I guess

Warning: Language

A/N: I've never been in a sleepover before because my parents are incredibly strict, so I don't usually know what happens during it, probably just lie around in one's phone but eh, let's make this fun

Also, it's currently 1 AM here

What makes a good team? A good bond of course! What makes a good bond? Spending time together! How can one spend time together? Slumber party! Whose idea is this? Melone, because suddenly he claims to have taken psychology in college and Risotto believes him.

I think this traditional feminine camaraderie is filled with oh so exciting things! With its makeovers, self care, tea spilling, ghost stories, feathery pillow fights, cute pyjamas, truths or dares and girly giggles.

Imagining these seasoned assassins in these circumstances can be quite the sight.

Now on to the show:

Formaggio

This energetic fucker is wearing a simple orange basketball shorts and a green tank top. He will remove his shirt if it's hot, but knowing Ghiaccio will be there, he keeps his shirt on.

He will initiate a pillow fight.

Like, you'll be there spilling the latest Passione tea, when suddenly a pillow sends you toppling back and hit your head against the wall, in your shock you make out the laugh of this mischievous fucker with the others joining him. And seeing nothing but red, you blindly toss the pillow to who you thought was Formaggio, but it ended up being Prosciutto.

Domino effect took hold and everyone armed themselves with pillows.

Illuso

He keeps his hair in a loose low braid and wore a simple white shirt and grey pyjama bottoms. The guy sleeps with a chilled gel mask over his eyes to prevent puffing, because this bitch is a top two beauty guru under Prosciutto.

This man is the one will recommend watching a movie— and of fucking course 🤦🏻‍♀️ it is a horror movie. And of fucking course, it is The Ring series 🙄😒

Ahem, may I reference this post I made about him regarding watching a horror movie with the squad

This sadist lives off of people's fear and anxieties that once the movie viewing is over, whoever is brave enough to go to the bathroom amidst the late night, will get a heart attack or shatter a mirror.

Prosciutto

He leaves his hair down after a long day of being in a tight hairstyle. Wore his silk set of pyjamas and sleeps with a matching silk sleeping mask. Damn, okay Pro living that girl life

Idk, this man strikes me boring at parties I'm sorry 😅 he'll just sorta be there, doing whatever one feels doing and follow them along.

BUT I do think he does have leaked plans more like gossips from the other departments of the mafia. Okok, but I can sorta picture him braiding someone's hair while also discussing about the leaked plans gossips. So while he's braiding someone's hair, that person is maybe preoccupied painting someone's nails.

As the conversation progresses, the discussion moves on the full on tea spilling, complete with face masks and cucumber eyes.

Sleeps early, he's no fun.

Pesci

Wears a simple yellow tank top with a tropical umbrella printed pyjama bottoms.

He brought board games! Who's up for a game of snake and ladders? Or perhaps monopoly? Clue? Scrabbles?

Since this is La Squadra, board games can only go wrong. We got Formaggio, who cheats. Illuso, who is petty. Prosciutto, who is competitive. Melone... Well, he plays fair. Ghiaccio, the rager. Risotto also stays calm because it's just a game, and he prefers to maintain the cool of his colleagues. Sorbet, a swindler. Gelato, another swindler. Pesci himself just wants to have fun, but is now feeling guilty because he thinks he may have started this fight.

So yes... This can go wrong in about ten different ways and all of them will end catastrophically.

Melone

Everyone protested against Melone if he goes nude, Ghiaccio threatning to increase the temperature. So he ends up wearing his hair up on a messy bun and wearing a pastel purple loose crop shirt and magenta booty shorts with white, bold printed fonts read 'Eat me' on the back.

He, of course, proposed a video game competition because he didn't learn from Pesci that game nights will only go south 🤦🏻‍♀️

Melone himself is a gamer, along with Ghiaccio and Formaggio. Gelato, Pesci and Illuso are average, they know quite a bit their way around controllers. Sorbet, Prosciutto and Risotto though... No.

Just like the the board game, it's going to end in a riot. And that's what Melone liked to see.

Ghiaccio

White shirt and baby blue pyjamas with cloud prints.

Get a load of this dude, the party hasnt even started and he started to sleep.

It is called a slumber party for a reason, slumber is sleep and not wHATEVER THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING LIKE PAINTING NAILS OR PLAYING GAMES! OUIJA BOARDS?! SUMMONING SATAN?! BLOODY MARY?! CANDY MAN?! FUCK NO! WHY CALL IT SLUMBER PARTY WHEN IT'S JUST A GLORIFIED HANG OUT WHILST IN PYJAMAS, HUH?!

Pfft, okay ice boy. I guess you're just too much of a pussy to chant bloody Mary in the bathroom.

You'd think this fucker is smart enough not to fall for it, but he does 🤦🏻‍♀️ He gives in to their reverse psychology egging and he heads to the bathroom to debunk their dumb fucking supernatural thing.

He ended up staying late anyways.

Risotto

Wears a black Metallica shirt and black pyjama bottoms.

To be honest, he's just happy to be there! To see his colleagues bros and hoes getting along, well that's the purpose of this little slumber party thing. Though, he has troubles shedding his leader mother role in this, because you know how these man babies act.

He has to make sure Formaggio doesn't get himself killed if he decided it was a good idea to vandalize the face of the first person fall asleep (cough, Prosciutto). Ya know, keep an eye out for Gelato taking a unflattering pictures of his teammates whilst sleeping to use as blackmail ammunition. Hold Ghiaccio when he's trying to kill Melone for cheating Uno. Yeah.

He has his bouts of insomnia and he's quite the light sleeper and EVERY little thing will make his eyes shoot open and search the darkness. Mix this with his lack of sleep and you're brewing a perfect concoction for disaster for his health... But he's still going to sleep beside his bros hoes

Gelato and Sorbet

Gelato is wearing an old shirt of Sorbet's and a pair of basketball shorts and also wears socks to bed. Sorbet is wearing a matching blue set of pyjamas and was convinced by his husband to wear socks just so he can irk the others with it. Couple goals, annoying friends by wearing socks to bed ✊😩

Ohohoho you'd think Melone calls to shot to suggest suggestive games. Nope. It is these couples. Nothing like a spicy game of truth or dare, where it is impossible to chose truth because they will somehow manage to convince you (threaten and/or peer pressure) to do the something that you will remember and regret for the rest of your life.

Oh you can chose truth, but it's impossible because these two, and possibly the others will try to make you chose dare via egging. If you stand firm and not give in, I am impressed. Though you'll get a lot of comments.

Pfft, what kind of coward will not throw their used underwear at the first person they saw walking down the street from the shadows of the bushes? What a pussy.

Once it's times for them to pass out, I can guarantee you that these two are tangled up in each others arms. And they also steal blankets from others.

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tenthgrove · 3 years

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Can I request la squadra's reaction to their s/o being Sorbet and Gelato's daughter, she's old enough, she said she was going to introduce them to her parents and they see Sorbet and Gelato and I just imagine how embarrassing it would be sincr the daughter possibly doesn't know about her parents' job

Heritage

La Squadra x Reader (fem), Romantic, SFW

(A/N: uhh, just so I don't get in trouble for this, I'm going to state clearly for the record that Reader in this scenario is an adult, let's say at least 20 years old, born at the earliest possible opportunity as soon as Sorbet and Gelato got together.)

In all normal circumstances, it must be said that Sorbet and Gelato would not choose to keep their child estranged from La Squadra di Esecuzione. The couple see their team unapologetically and family and it would only make sense to involve their new child in that group bond.

However, you came into their lives much, much sooner than Sorbet and Gelato had intended to have children, barely adults themselves and in no state to be raising children. It was your arrival in their lives that convinced them to stop living so vicariously and settle down somewhere concrete- even if it meant submitting themselves to Passione to maintain such a life. When they joined La Squadra, they made the decision to keep their life at home and their life with the team separate. They could not burden you with the knowledge of their crimes. For La Squadra's part, they knew Sorbet and Gelato's child existed, but had never seen or met you in person. This was something they all understood.

It's in these circumstances that your strange romance began.

Formaggio- When your nine braincells have all been trained on being smart on the job, its easy for them to fall asleep the rest of the time. Formaggio never puts two and two together, even as you list off stories of your dads' lives. It never occurs to him they're his dear friends. Ever the family man, Formaggio is thrilled for the opportunity to meet your dads, bringing tons of fun things to do to the meetup. And when Sorbet and Gelato open the door... it still doesn't click. "Oh hey guys! The hell are you doing here? I'm trying to find my girl's dads!" Your palm has connected with your face quicker than Gelato can say "what the fuck?"

Illuso- A lone wolf through and through, Illuso isn't as excited about meeting your parents. When he accepted you into his life he did just that, and while he's not going to disrespect your fathers unless it's deserved he isn't here to make friends. It's for this reason that when Sorbet and Gelato open the door they don't realise what's going on, Illuso looking nothing like a man about to face his girlfriend's notoriously protective dads. Gelato's immediate assumption is that you were spying on their base or something, which makes him panic. If you hadn't figured out your dads' occupation before this, you will now.

Prosciutto- Any true romantic would treat introducing themselves to their lover's parents as a profound day of honour. Prosciutto is no different. He wears his finest suit to the occasion, bringing along a bouquet of roses and several other fine gifts. He's so tense he barely even processes what's ahead of him as he hands the bouquet to... his work buddies. Its hard to tell which out of the three is more shocked. Prosciutto asks if you're sure this is the right house. It is. Well. Time to roll with it. Sorbet does mention he wouldn't usually approve of you dating someone that much older than you but they can make an exception for a good friend. They know Prosciutto will do right by you.

Pesci- Your boyfriend's nerves were already in shots before you even arrived. He was terrified of your dads not liking him; what if they don't let you see each other again?! You tell him repeatedly your dads really aren't the sort to control you unless your life depends on it but that does little to soothe him. He's just so worried! Sorbet and Gelato actually hear his fretting on the way to the door and, recognising his voice, rush over to greet him, giving the poor boy quite the fright. Once the dust settles, Sorbet and Gelato are actually quite happy to have Pesci as a potential son in law, and Pesci feels the same. Sorbet and Gelato are already family to him.

Melone- Dear oh dear you’re in for one hell of a day. Though they don’t dislike their colleague Sorbet and Gelato do have some… reservations about Melone’s behaviour, particularly that around women. Seeing him on their door hand in hand with their daughter isn’t going to be a happy sight. Melone, failing to read the room, immediately enthuses about all the similarities between you and your fathers, giving them the perfect opportunity to yank you inside and shut the door. They tell you that you’re welcome to tell them to let him back in, but you have to be absolutely sure of what you’re getting yourself into. That’s all they ask.

Ghiaccio- On Sorbet and Gelato’s part, they could not be more excited. Their two favourite young people hooking it up right out of the blue? This is Christmas! They don’t even care if it means you know what they do with their time as long as you’re happy with Ghiaccio. Ghiaccio on the other hand, he’s freaking out. Sure he looks up to Sorbet and Gelato but… that’s the problem. They mean more than he’s willing to admit and having you around might force him to admit it. Just give him a minute, okay?

Risotto- The situation is even more comical than it is bizarre. What do we have here? The famed Risotto Nero would appear to be Sorbet and Gelato’s future son-in-law, fancy that! You can’t expect the couple not to tease him about it. Risotto will never be able to give them a straightforward command again. On Risotto’s part, he is honoured to be accepted into this family. Sorbet and Gelato have always been great mentors to him, and though they aren’t that far apart in age, a part of him does see them as fathers.

#la squadra di esecuzione #la squadra #la squadra x reader #formaggio #formaggio x reader #illuso #illuso x reader #prosciutto #prosciutto x reader #pesci #pesci x reader #melone #melone x reader #ghiacco #ghiaccio x reader #risotto nero #risotto nero x reader #sorbet and gelato

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lasquadraheadquarters · 3 years

Text

Hello!

Before we begin, I want everyone to be aware that this account is 18+. Due to mature topics and such. No minors are allowed!

I created this account because I adore this team and had many thoughts and headcanons that I want to share with other La Squadra lovers.

Before I get asked questions about ship headcanons....This isn’t a shipping account. I don’t ship anyone in La squadra. Except for Sorbet and Gelato since they were already a couple. Whoever you ship is not my business, you can enjoy what you like and I’ll do the same.

I do accept xreader and self-inserts. I’ll be interested to hear your thoughts. Don’t be afraid to send me a message or ask.

You’ll see more posts catering towards Risotto, Prosciutto, Melone and Illuso. These four are my favorite members. I will write for the rest but you might not see them as often. Unless you send in an ask then I’ll write for them.

This will be an account about anything la squadra. I will post merch, figures, stories, headcanons etc.

I’m accepting asks, send in yours and let’s get this started!

#la squadra #la squadra esecuzioni #risotto nero #illuso #melone #prosciutto #jjba pesci #formaggio #jjba imagines #jjba au #jjba #jjba headcanons #ghiacco #x reader #jojo part 5 #jojo vento aureo #jojo headcanons

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randoimago · 7 months

Note

HII! can you do La squadra seeing their s/o smile when they usually dont? Also s/o has a cute smile :)

Seeing S/O Smile When They Usually Don't

Fandom: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Character(s): Illuso, Melone, Formaggio, Ghiacco, Pesci, Proscuitto, Risotto

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): Due to the amount of characters, they each get a single headcanon! 4 characters is my limit for multiple. But this was a fun request !!

llluso asks what you're smiling about immediately as he has his own smile on his face. You don't smile often so he needs to hear what caused it so he can use it to make you smile more.

Holy shit, mark this day on the calendar! Formaggio is absolutely teasing you about finally smiling. Which probably makes your smile go away, but it was nice while it lasted (he'll make you smile again).

Ghiacco notices your smile and his brain goes a mile a minute as he tries to figure out why he likes it so much. Probably ends up scowling because he's not the reason you smiled (at least he doesn't think he is) and is now getting upset and your smile is probably gone.

Melone comments that you're cuter when you smile just to see if it annoys you. He likes your smile, but he also enjoys teasing and poking fun at you too. He's just a brat.

Pesci gasps when he notices you smile. Honestly really happy and tries to figure out what caused you to smile. If he's the one that caused it then he's bubbly and happy.

Prosciutto is curious as to what you're smiling about and might make a comment about it, but he's also not going to criticize your smile. It was a small moment of brightness that he appreciated seeing on your face.

Risotto makes note on what made you smile so he can bring it up sometime. You don't smile often but he finds himself enjoying seeing it on your face. Doesn't make any comments on it either since he wants to enjoy the smile on your face as long as you have it.

#Anonymous #jjba x reader #risotto x reader #melone x reader #pesci x reader #proscuitto x reader #ghiacco x reader #illuso x reader

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risottosrightdimple · 5 years

Note

Hello! If it's not too much to ask, could I request some h/c's of La Squadra with an energetic + talkative s/o that has a motherly personality? Thanks so much!

(Hi! Hope I answered it to your liking!)

La Squadra x Energetic!Talkative!Motherly!S/O

-Ghiacco-

Ghiacco loves to hear his s/o talk about their day. It became a routine around the beginning of their relationship, and they do it everyday.

Ghiacco finds himself rather calm whenever he’s with his s/o. Even though they’re usually bouncy and lively, he’s always able to keep his cool when he’s around them.

He always looks for his s/o’s motherly instincts whenever he’s having a bad day because he knows they’re going to take care of him.

He’s gotten into the habit of having his s/o talk him to sleepat night. It’s the best way for him to fall into a peaceful sleep quickly.

-Prosciutto-

Prosciutto appreciates the fact that his s/o can be motherly at times. It allows for him to relax and be just be taken care of.

Now on the other hand, he feels kind of indifferent about how talkative his s/o is. At times he’s fine with it, but others, he feels that silence would be best.

Prosci loves that his s/o is so energetic because that means that when he gets back from work, all that energy goes towards him.

He really does cherish the the conversations he has with his s/o. Even though he might not have the chance to say much, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

-Melone-

Melone is quite talkative himself so he and his s/o have the best conversations!

He thinks that it’s great his s/o is really energetic because he loves to be active and moving. They’re the best workout partners!

Sometimes he acts like he’s sad so he can get his s/o to pamper him. (He such a baby omg.)

He likes for his s/o to talk him to sleep also. He’s sleep in the first 3 minutes tbh.

-Illuso-

He’s relatively quiet, so he appreciates that his s/o is talkative. They basically talk enough for him.

He loves to see his s/o just going about their lives. He’s fascinated by how they use all their energy throughout the day.

He doesn’t really open up to people, but he loves to talk and open up to his s/o. He loves to just sit there and let his s/o care for him.

He likes how his s/o is, but sometimes he likes just peace and quiet.

-Risotto Nero-

He’s not a man of many words, so he likes the contrast of his talkative s/o. It soothes him in a way.

Let’s face it, Ris loves to be taken care of. He spends all day making sure everything is right with other people, so he likes his s/o’s motherly trait alot.

When Ris gets home from work, he’s usually worn out from the days activities. However, whenever he sees his s/o coming at him full of energy, he begins to feel revitalized. He likes to describe it as his s/o giving him their energy.

Ris likes to talk to his s/o when he’s feeling more relaxed. The moments are rare but they’re nice.

-Formaggio-

Oh, him and his s/o talk for hours about everything. Yk those 3 am conversations about aliens and the afterlife? Yeah those.

Formaggio doesn’t think about taking care of himself that much, so his s/o has to step up and take care of him. He secretly loves it.

He’s really energetic himself, so him and his s/o are always getting into something. Their favorite thing to do is wrestle at home. (Formaggio usually loses.)

He shuts down when he’s upset, but the caring nature of his s/o always brings his problems out.

He loves to talk, but he’s not good with finding the right words, so his s/o usually chips in and helps him.

-Sorbet and Gelato-

They don’t really talk to people other than each other, so their s/o usually gets ignored.

They like that their s/o is energetic though! That means they can go run errands and do things around the house for them.

Don’t really care about their s/o’s motherly personality. Why would they when they have each other?

-Pesci-

He’s very reserved, so he really doesn’t talk to his s/o alot, despite their talkative nature.

Can’t get enough of his s/o nurturing him though. He loves the attention from his s/o.

He would prefer if his s/o didn’t display all of their energy around him. It makes him anxious for people to move alot around him.

Pesci has to warm up to people, so eventually he’ll talk to his s/o more, he just has to make sure that he’s comfortable enough.

#la squadra di esecuzione #la squadra x reader #ghiacco #risotto nero #illuso #formaggio #melone #sorbet #gelato #prosciutto #pesci #headcanon #jjba #jojo part 5

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0coldphantom0 · 2 years

Text

Encased between two blades: Chapter 2-Cloud nine

Sure has been a while since the previous chapter, i hope the length of this one makes up for the wait^^.

MDNI.

You are pulled awake from the null state of nothing.

The setting shifts with the position of your head in a sideways -almost uncomfortable angle.The room you find yourself in is stark white and drab, in the middle ,the mattress you lay on bounded with rope.

This isn’t good, no matter how you look at this, your awareness cant help but pin fault for being so impartial in the past.You always had this inkling feeling you were in harms way, yet you ignored it.With a sluggish motion, you twist your head and curl forward, attempting to move the hair out of your face and begin replaying the series of unfortunate events leading to now .You’ve been plucked away from the comfort of your life by a man in your team for lord knows what perverse reasoning and promptly stuck inside a room in the middle of bum fuck knows where.Your dear guardian rudely turned into ice by that man so fast you couldn’t comprehend its severity enough to react.Such moment too freshly painful to accept as fact. Even now In this moment of absolute shock, you ponder about how playing dumb was a really Fucking stupid idea; maybe you should’ve been a bit more abrasive.And just maybe by simply telling Ghiaccio to get bent when you had the chance, you would’ve ended with a smidge of frost bite and a handful of slurs jabbed your way to end the ordeal. But no-Instead you’re here, without free will and without your beloved Angelo. Isn’t this great.

To add salt to injury, no time is spared to make peace with this heartbreaking realisation, nor to accept your ill faith .Rather, you lock eyes with a visage so unlike the man before you, you’d think you’re looking at one of those funhouse mirrors Illuso placed down the hall once to fuck with the crew.

But nope, its real, he, the man the rat, the bastard: Ghiaccio, is chilling by the windowsill, loop-sided grin and all that jazz staring out the window in a dreamy manner whilst outside pours with rain. He’s so far gone in la la land that the curly haired man before you resembles the scenery found inside these romance mangas a teenager would read, comically surrounded by sparkles and roses as if him watching droplets fall down the glass is the most amorous mirage a puberty-ridden girl could ever envision before dramatically swooning and squealing like a pig.

Its not the exact reaction for your less than enthused predicament however.He actually looks the opposite to you ;uncanny, albeit if you didn’t know him, and weren’t currently held hostage-you might come to appreciate his boyish charm.But in this moment the only charm acceptable would be the kind to vamoose you away back to the safety of your home, if not better the airport so you can get the hell out of Italy, preferably first class seats for you and your defrosted guardian.Not whatever the hell he’s trying to prompt out of you by slowly tracing lines down the windows and blinking slowly in a lovesick manner.For someone who regards themselves as well read, in this moment Ghiaccio falls nothing but under the term “cliche “.

Suddenly you get stopped dead in the track of your thoughts by his attention turning to you, this time a gleaming stroke of light rounds his eyes, showing his smugness regarding this whole ordeal without need for words.You however try your best to hold onto the poker face, no matter his sentiment he cannot know he’s won. You’ve been a witness in the past to the power trip Ghiaccio gets once his apparent win against another falls clear, and its quite scary.He probably wont kill you like he did to those less fortunate per se, but you still internally tremor knowing a man like him so love starved is far worse in an emotional battle than a physical one .Even as he struts towards you, grabbing the closest limb he can reach, threatening to spill open the seams of your clothes with his gentle masked touch your expression falls unfazed.

“About time you decided to wake up, i was starting to get bored with you lying there dormant like a fucking corpse.” He’s now hovering over your form, one hand crawling up your leg, its fingers cold.Clearly he’s tugging on your chain for a reaction, but you know not to give him the pleasure of seeing you seethe.

“Do they know?” You speak.He hums, pressing you to elaborate.

“Do they know you’re holding me hostage?”

“Forget about those fuckers, they ain’t shit” he growls

“Out of everyone I didn’t expect you to go rogue against the squad and imprison their healer, perhaps Lulu, but never you Ghiaccio - you’re far too uptight to be an anarchist.” You muse.This gets you nothing but a halt to his wondering hand.His eyes albeit stuck on your form are seemingly elsewhere in search for something to snap back with to your comment.His face scrunches up indicating your comment is displeasing big time.

Before he gets a chance tough, you lift you head.

“Why are you doing this?”

A pause, followed by another.You dare try to repeat yourself but he gets to you first, grabbing onto the front of your shirt, scrunching it in his fist to pull you upright.Closer than before, he practically engulfs your body with his.His hand continues its tight grip on you, forcing a jolt.The remains of his patience clearly diminishing at your plain play of ignorance.

“ Lulu? Since when did you get chummy with that fucker?” Its more of a question to himself.You notice his demeanour worsening at the pet-name, but he snaps back to you pissed.He continues:

“You know damn well why.Cut this bullshit , this shitty little act of yours is getting on my nerves.” His knuckles remain strained briefly before he lets go. You fall with a thud.

Ok so that interaction is a startup. A shit start up at best but you never had been in this position to know what question to ask your captor, especially one with such short fuse as his. Ghiaccio begins pacing about, still hung up on the interaction you had and probably fixating on every linguistic of it.You maintain your gaze on him, at the same time your hands make an attempt to figure out how to get the rope loose.If only your guardian was here- there was a tell tale assumption he was still frozen solid somewhere near, but where?

Ghiaccio kicks into the side of the doorway.

“FUCKING ILLUSO, WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE GET OUT OF YOU TO GET CALLED LULU.THATS SUCH A STUPID NICKNAME IT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE!!! FUCKING BASTARD!”

Oh.

Well this is concerning, you didn’t take Ghiaccio for the jealous archetype thought now thinking about it, it does make sense given all the bragging he does about himself.This reaction is a bit over the top for your liking, so you twist against the rope some more.You cant say when the nicknaming for your crew sprouted but you sure as hell wont give an explanation, he’s far too gone in his tangent for that.

Finally your persistent tugging let loose one of the knots, the rope giving leeway enough for you to reach behind you for your pocket knife.Never did you consider yourself a thug, but the small safety the little weapon brought you made you less concerned whenever you were sent out during the night for a mission.Now you suppose it holds more than just safety- hope maybe? Hope it’ll get you out of this place and away from mr four eyed menace.

That hope is what fuels you to get up and make a wild-dash.You timed it so he’d be turned away when you leaped up from the mattress. But something was off. As you were running, not only did you notice the lack of furniture to this place, you also noticed a lack of noise coming from your counterpart. No curses, nor …movement.

You turn down the corridor trying to map out an exist.Initially you wanted to block his way from getting to you before you got to the door but theres nothing around to aid with it. Whats worse, you decided to turn around and notice him behind you standing in the door-frame, only he’s casually walking towards you???

Finally you reach the ensemble of the room connected to the door out. This time you’re met with a harsher temperature than the previous room, and there before you is why. Ghiaccio froze the door shut.

You attempt hitting the ice off the frame so the damn knob will be accessible to you; problem is he gets to you before your second hit lands, grabbing by the back of your head too.

He’s got you good and wont let go, his hand back to a fist threatening to scalp you. The look he gives you is full of malice.

“You can be really stupid sometimes. When will it go through your skull that you’re not going no where??? Do you think I’d be stupid enough to not lock the fucking door??? Who do you think I am, Pesci?!”

“Let go” You shout.

“You’re in no position to tell me what to do” he warns.

“I don’t want to be here!”you try to reach him with your knife.

“WELL TOUGH!!” Ghiaccio shoves you to the floor with unforgiving force, the process knocking the air out of your lungs and hurting your neck and head. The brute rolls you over, holding you down to tie your hands behind your back.His grip on your wrist threatens to snap it, so you drop the knife defeated.

He scowls some more when a strained noise escapes you. The grip on your arms hurting too much for you to feign ignorance.

“Save me the fucking whining will ya, you had your chance for me to be nice to you before you decided to fucking ignore me.” He double knots and tugs the rope for safe measure.

“This is payback. All that flaunting around anyone giving you attention, those depraved motherfuckers had it too good for too long. Now you’re gonna give back all the time you made me waste.” Theres a pause, Ghiaccio lowers to the left of your neck, smothering with a rough kiss before inhaling your scent. “All the times you tried to avoid me, you thought i didn’t see the way you’d hide whenever I was near? I knew you did it on purpose.You owe me big time y/n.”

He’s got some nerve calling others depraved when he’s mounting you tied on the floor. Most importantly, you don’t owe him shit.

“Its not my fault you cant take rejection Ghia” the last part of the sentence is endearingly spiteful, at which he scoffs.

“As if I’d let you do that. You seriously need to acknowledge your situation, I don’t wanna have to constantly repeat myself, it’s fucking annoying”

Getting up he grabs and flings you over his shoulder with little effort.”You cant fool me with this shitty attempt of escape, its pathetic.” You’re back on the mattress in record time. Ghiaccio departs briefly to grab something.

“Risotto wont be happy when he realises what you’ve done.He’ll come for you” your warning seems to fall flat.

“I told you to forget about the squad.” He returns with a roll of tape, his hand back to your calves.

“Nobody is coming to get you, you think I don’t plan stuff in advance? This isn’t some scum I gotta off, I meant it when i said you owe me.” In this moment his arrogance returns.

Your legs now also bound, a pang of fear crawls within you, making you hyper aware of how vulnerable you are for him.He wouldn’t …. Would he?? Theres an uncertainty in the moment, his sudden decision to do this to you in your mind concludes he’s not above trying to have his way with you as well.

“In time you’ll thank me for doing this” he mutters, that hand is back up your leg again, slower this time with his caressing.He must be fucking joking.

“You’re insane, you have to be to think I’d thank you for this, all of this!” The facade of indifference begins to crack, how can someone be so egotistic??! His smile only vexes you more and it finally makes to show of you true state.

“You must be getting off so much right know, you forgot kidnapping is not normalcy you degenerate fuck! LET ME GO !”Its you who’s shouting this time.

“Im the one forgetting things now? Maybe I hit you too hard before bringing you here” he muses.

Now you want to bite him. The lion the witch and the audacity of this fucking bitch.Your bound hands almost mirror the intensity his had when he grabbed you earlier .

“You’re mad aren’t you” he crouches to murmur in your ear.

“Go on, try and hit me, better yet why don’t you get your stand to do that? You sure liked to make a show of that thing materialising from thin air.” The glare you throw his way could corrode metal.

“Is my ice too much for you to handle y/n?”

“Fuck you.”

His fingers now tilt you head by the chin.How much you’d give to see them snap in half.

“Or could it be you like the cold, small lamb ?”

Lamb???

The nickname abruptly hollows your brain empty. Your features go slack and Ghiaccio picks up on it with vigour.The rage shifts into dread, flashes of distress bloom in your view.Theres a loud ringing now present in your ears too, has it always been there???

“Its been a while since someone called you that huh.”

His choice of wording don’t feel familiar – its way too purposeful to be part of his dialect. You’ve never heard him call you that- ever . Not even once.None of the Squadra did.Why would he call you that of all things? Does he know about-

You feel dizzy; your mind cant comprehend the weight that nickname puts on you. The room grows dimmer and Ghiaccio is staring you down with satisfaction as you succumb in terror.The sick fuck.

The sound of rain outside slowly fades, with it so do you once more.

He hums, lowering your face back to the cushion of the mattress. In your knocked out state, you’re unaware of the cold kiss he presses to the crown of your head. Ghiaccio cant help but return back to the loop-sided grin, only this time he followed the pattern of your breathing dreamingly rather than the drops on the window.

#jjba ghiaccio #jjba x reader #ghiacco #ghiaccio x reader #jjba part 5 #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #la squadra #ghiaccio #yandere ghiaccio x reader #yandere ghiaccio #encased between two blades

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buggyscellmate · 2 years

Note

Yandere ghiacco x fem chubby reader who gets very uncomfortable at how he stares at her

TW: Yandere themes

A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to get around to this!

♡He probably wouldn’t even realize he was staring most of the time, when he does he has a bad habit of adjusting his glasses every few seconds. Occasionally he’ll let out a grumble of annoyance before looking away.

♡The other members of the team would tease him relentlessly, much to his dismay and irritation. Ghiaccio would end up yelling and having a fit in response, denying that he even found you existence tolerable,

♡After a while, with how uncomfortable he made you, the chances are you would start avoiding him. Turning to leave any place you saw him in before he noticed you.

♡Though, realistically, since he is a hitman he’d probably notice you first despite your attempts at sneaking away which left him confused and that left him pissed off.

♡Did his presence bother you that much or did you think you were better than him? Though the worst of his worries would be that his anger had scared you off.

♡He’d end up turning to his teammates for advice, which only got him less than a handful of common sense in response.

♡Deciding he’d confront you about it, he’d probably wait until you were alone to approach you in his usual abrasive manner.

♡That’s when he’d ask you what your problem with him was before getting the answer out of you that left him feeling somewhat bad.

♡“Why didn’t you fucking say something to me instead of being weird?!” He’d question you angrily before taking a deep breath.

♡“Just tell me when I do it, so I can stop.” Would be all that Ghiaccio tells you with aggravation in his tone.

♡He didn’t need just his eyes to watch you, since he had so many other means to do so.

#yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #yandere jjba #yandere jojo #yandere la squadra #la squadra x reader #ghiaccio x reader #jojo x reader #jjba x reader #yandere jojo x reader #vento aureo x reader

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angry-geese · 3 years

Text

Lemon Boy

Risotto Nero x Reader

Warnings: sfw. a little angsty but not really, lots of fluff. Kinda suggestive (if you squint???) Fem!reader

Notes: this is a sequel to two previous posts of mine. This is just a fluff drabble where the reader gets pregnant with Risotto's child

part one- nsfw, part two- sfw

It would take him another year to admit he wanted a second one.

By then he had adjusted to your normal. You got a raise at work, allowing him to stay home. Civilian life wasn't for him. Becoming a stay-at-home dad was much easier than trying to blend in with society, he found. While he felt guilty for leaving you to deal with all the bills, you told him not to worry about it. He kept the house tidy, made sure everyone was fed, and took Maria to school and her sports practices. She was turning out to be quite the little athlete. She almost had too much energy for him. He often found it hard to keep up. You weren't *not* trying for another. You weren't going out of your way for it, but if it happened; it happened.

The other stay-at-home mothers and housewives in your neighborhood would practically adopt Risotto. He was accepted into their groups- and subsequently their gossip- with open arms. They would protect him if police ever bothered him, and in return he became the neighborhood's handyman. Strangely enough, this was where he fit in best.

He couldn't keep his hands off of you.

It wasn't in a sexual way- though that was certainly the case too- Risotto always had to have an arm around you. He constantly needed his hands laced over your stomach, or his body pressing into yours from behind. At times his presence was suffocating, but you knew this was coming from a good place. It was force of habit. You getting pregnant only made him look over his shoulder more. Not many people would touch you before- at times you were frightening- but Risotto only added to that. Nobody in the PTA wanted to fuck with either of you. If he wasn't protective enough of you before, he certainly was now. Anyone who so much as looked at you the wrong way got a death stare. He'd wrap you up in his arms when people would try to touch your belly in public, not letting them near you. Sometimes he found himself spiraling into his old habits as he plotted the death of people who pissed you off. You wouldn't notice that creepy customer at your job going missing, would you?

You would go on maternity leave about a month or so before your due date. Being on your feet all day was getting nearly impossible as your walk became more of a waddle. Pregnancy to you wasn't some magical thing everyone your mother's age chalked it up to be. You were nauseous 90% of the time. You were constantly bloated and sick feeling, with spider veins popping up on your legs. If your second pregnancy had been your first, Maria would be an only child. Risotto never minded. He still found it hard to believe that there was something in there. And it was his. He looked at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. Because to him you were.

Maria would curl up next to you and not quite understand why your stomach would sometimes kick her. The other one wasn't even born yet and they're already fighting. You know you won't have a nice, quiet house for much longer. And the two of you are fine with that. If your youngest is anything like their sister, you'll have your hands full. Risotto's headstrong nature with your stubbornness is a deadly combination.

But he wants a big family and the loud house that comes with it.

Every night he has to have his arms around you or else he can't sleep; even as the summer months arrive, and it becomes far too hot to cuddle. You've learned to stop scooting away since he'll always pull you back to him. Every night he would pull you into his arms, running his hands over the growing bump of your stomach.

One night he pulls you extra close. The nightmares haven't stopped, he's only quit reacting to them. Waking up next to you grounds him in reality. He distracts himself with housework, or decorating the nursery. You settled on a shade of lilac for the walls. In the crib- which was painted a pale blue- was filled with strange stuffed toys. There was a cat, a fish, an ice gremlin, and some purple monster with a lot of eyes. "I'm only giving them options" you'd say. An old, ornate mirror pulled from your old home was hung up. It was a wedding gift from Prosciutto, and likely the most expensive thing you owned at the time. "They'd need one when they're older" you'd reason.

You can't seem to sleep either. Risotto rolls over in bed to face you. Instinctively you brush the stray hairs out of his face.

"Have any names picked out?" He asks.

Though you had planned this long before he even agreed to it, names weren't something you'd given much thought.

"I do. I know it's really strange to name them after food but," you don't even have to finish the sentence for him to know where you're going with this, "how about Prosciutto, or Pesci? Or Ghiacco, Melone..."

Formaggio, Illuso, Sorbet, Gelato...

He only nods. He'd never admit it, but your old squad was his family. Back then, neither of you would dare to say such a thing. At the time they were only strangers forced into the same fate. Your teammates were never meant to be family. Losing them sent him spiraling into a pit he's still recovering from. You go on in their memory because they would bully the hell out of you for stopping to feel sorry for yourself. If they were still alive, your children would be the two most well protected kids on earth. They'd have eight uncles all willing to kill for them.

"What if they're a girl?" He asks.

"It's a boy."

The way you say it with such certainty makes him laugh, the noise coming from deep in his chest. He nuzzles into the crook of your neck.

While you were waiting until they were born to find out the gender, you had the sneaking suspicion they were going to be a boy. Maybe your mother pointed out that one of your breasts hung lower than the other- while absolutely uncalled for- meant they were a boy.

Eventually you would settle on what Risotto's name was before he joined Passione: Dante. Nobody called him that- not even you. Just as he rarely called you by your birth name. He wouldn't even speak it, writing it down for you when asked. That was not who either of you were anymore. The old versions of you died when you were assigned to the hitman team.

You would go into labor a week early. To no one's surprise, you would have a son. A healthy- albeit small- boy with a tuft of silver hair. The moment you're allowed to, you pass him off to his father. It's clear Risotto has no clue what he's doing, but he looks at your son like he's the most precious thing in the world. He's so tiny compared to him. He kind of looks like an old man... But Risotto won't tell you that.

You'd be released from the hospital a few days later.

Sometimes you wonder if your children will grow up to be stand users. They have to be- both their parents are. You had little understanding of how- or why- you had a stand, only gaining yours after being shot with a bow of all things. It was sort of a promise you made to yourself to never use yours. You were keeping yourself out of trouble, as tempting as it was to start it.

You hadn't seen Metallica in years. You missed the days when you could embarrass Risotto by calling them cute.

Dante wasn't a quiet child. For seemingly no reason, he would scream until he exhausted himself. Only then would he sleep. Lucky for you, Maria could sleep through anything, so she wasn't bothered by him. You brought him to doctors but they would all tell you this was normal. He was eating, gaining weight, and growing as a child should. There was nothing they could do for you.

Most nights Risotto would get up for the baby. He told you it was so you'd heal faster, and that if Dante needed to eat he'd bring him to you. But you didn't buy it. Risotto was still over the moon that something so little was his. Speaking from experience, he wouldn't be tiny for very long. Maria was nearly able to look you in the eye and that is far too much power for a six-year-old to have. You weren't even that short, she was tall; it didn't help that your husband was nearly a foot taller than you.

There's enough light in the room to make out Risotto's large figure and the bundle of blankets in his arms. Metallica's writhing form is visible in the reflection of Dante's eyes. His pudgy hand outstretched, grabbing onto the Metallica beans, trying to catch them.

Not only was your child loud, but he was a stand user too. And you had the sneaking suspicion he wasn't the only one.

Good luck. You're going to have your hands full.

#jjba #jjba x reader #jojo's bizarre adventure #vento aureo #golden wind #risotto nero #risotto nero x reader #risotto x reader #jojo part 5

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