#claimed la squadra

[ravenzeppeli]

Claimed

Chapter 1- Different |La Squadra x Reader|

Warning: strong language, sexual conversations, threats. MA.

Living a life of violence and crime was a thing that you've grown accustomed to living in Naples, Italy, for so long. You yourself committed crimes, using your stand to cover up and evidence, but now you found yourself an active member of the underground criminal underground. Activity: You were a part of a hit man team, being given a few offers you couldn't refuse.

Refusing.. you found yourself refusing, but Risotto kept his composure. All the men seemed to as you were convinced to not only join this team that consisted of six members and one leader, but you seemingly got roped into being a girlfriend to all seven of them. Then you got moved out of your apartment, your stuff being packed as Risotto permanently moved you into the base. You weren't afraid. You never felt fear towards them. You felt annoyed to be dating seven men, and you were annoyed to be forced to work as a team now. These men.. if you didn't hold your own, they would walk all over you. That was clear.

"So Y/N," Formaggio muttered as he leaned forward, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth as he looked at you, green eyes red and gloosy due to his after work celebration. "How the fuck you know Leaky Eye Luca girl? You need to tell us stuff about yourself, we wanna know you." He smirked, taking a puff of his cigarette, blowing the smoke towards you.

You sat across from him, your eyes on him as you slightly wrinkled up your nose, not being a fan of the thick smoke cloud that wrapped around your face. "I used to sell drugs for him," you told him, causing Formaggio to tilt his head to the side slightly, seeming intrigued suddenly.

"You ever fuck him?" Illuso questioned, a smirk appearing on his face as he looked you up and down.

"No," you replied, more annoyance than calmness in your tone as you spoke to Illuso. After being here only a few days, you already hated Illuso, being annoyed at Risotto for making you date Illuso too. Most of these men really annoyed you so far. You weren't really clicking with anyone aside from Melone, the crazy clingy men always being what you usually went for anyway.

"You can only fuck us now anyways, don't let me catch you cheating. I would hate to have to knock your teeth down your throat," Illuso told you, his threat causing you to roll his eyes. "Girl, watch the attitude. I mean what the fuck I say."

"You were literally at the strip club last night, and I know what happens at those low lighting strip clubs," you told Illuso, causing him to glare, cutting his red eyes at you. "You idiot."

Melone suddenly piped in, his hand clamping down on your thigh. "You aren't going to hit her Illuso, and Y/N isn't going to run around and cheat. Just trust her, and don't put ideas into her head." He always seemed to step up and defend you. That's why you already had sex with him.

You've already had sex with Risotto, Melone, and Formaggio. With Illuso and Prosciutto you’ve just given them head. Ghiaccio and Pesci.. nothing, which was fine. You didn't really find yourself having any meaningful relationship with these men anyway. This was.. business, you saw this as simply business. Of course you would be loyal, you've only fucked two men in the past before getting involved in all of this, being awkward with men and preferring sex toys or the occasional rare escort. You were kind socially awkward, even when selling drugs or committing disgusting crimes you kept quiet tried to be as quick as possible.

"The strip club is what men do in our profession, alright? It's where we conduct business. You just fucking stay here and mind your business like a good little housewife should," Illuso snapped at you, his smirk appearing back on his lips. "You're a woman.. stay in a woman's place alright?"

"I'm not a fucking housewife," you snapped at him. "You know, I've killed people before. I could be taken ser-"

"Women shouldn't be in the mafia, out with all the men doing dirty work. It isn't good for business," Prosciutto chimed in as he walked into the base living room, shutting you down as he always seemed to. "Your stand is very strong, useful, but your work is behind the scenes, and it'll stay that way." He sat down next to you. "Risotto told you that you wouldn't be killing anymore. You killed due to lack of self-control. Also, your refusal to even show your stand.. come on Y/N. Be happy with your place."

You turned to face him, cutting your eyes at him. You didn't kill because you didn't have any self-control.. well, sometimes you killed due to your line of work. These men outside of the mafia that buy drugs have tried stuff on you, so you kill them. If you read the paper and you see a rapist got out, then you kill them. You see a violent homeless man? Kill him. A man cuts you in line? Follow him home and kill him. The funny thing is you've only ever killed men. No woman ever tried to hurt you or short change you. Still, you made sure never to fuck with the mafia, Risotto finding you was a mere stupid mistake on your part. You should of tried to run, but he didn't try and hurt you so you just let him take you.

You were a fighter, but not with these men, really.. you kind of picked your battles, and Risotto mentioned to you that Prosciutto was second in command, so you didn't want to argue with him unless necessary. He was.. too dominant, too bossy for his own good. Formaggio told you Prosciutto had three ex-wives, and they all filed to leave him.. you could see why. Prosciutto was hot, but he was extremely conservative, thought the men call it "old school," whatever that means.

You wanted to say something smart to Prosciutto, but you couldn't think of anything. You also felt intimidated by him. Prosciutto intimidated you more than Risotto did. Maybe it was because you found him highly physically attractive. "Whatever."

Prosciutto seemed to be annoyed with your reply, but he ignored it, instead deciding to continue, "Well, you are our.. girlfriend now? I guess it could be called that, and that means you need to stay home and listen to us. Be good and be submissive."

"First key to submission is to take your clothes off and strip for us," Illuso told you. You heard the flick of Prosciuttos lighter as he lit up a cigarette.

"Slow your fucking roles," you snapped at them, causing Prosciutto to smack your thigh. You felt a dull sting but you had no reaction, the smack causing only a slight tingle to your pussy. "Don't be like that."

Prosciutto sat back, puffing away at his cigarette. "This is just how things have always been, and it's how things should be. You'll be fine, we're going to take care of you."

You did not want to be taken care of - you missed your old studio apartment and how lonely you always were. But, you had to look at some pros. You got better weed now. You could be happy about that, and you really liked Melone a lot. Also, you had a feeling Risotto would let you kill pretty soon, and that made you feel another tingle.

You shrugged, causing Illuso to let out a laugh. "Fuck you're so quiet, you need to learn how to speak to up more. Why don't you tell us about all those crimes you committed? You are ours now after all, we wanna know you," Illuso told you, causing you to glare at him. "Still nothing? You can't just keep only telling Melone shit. How are we supposed to trust you? You could be wearing a wire right now." It was clear Illuso wasn't being serious, wanting to mess with you.

"She's not wearing a fucking wire, Risotto knows everywhere she goes. Stop talking out of your fucking ass," Prosciutto told Illuso. "No cop is gonna fucking be suspicious of her, they'll just think she's a clueless girlfriend."

You turned your head towards Ghiaccio, his eyes on his computer as he busily typed away, not paying the group any attention. Risotto was in his office, and you had no clue where Pesci was, but you assumed that he was in the dining room as he always was.

"Who's staying here with her tonight? I'm going home tonight, I gotta go to the dentist tomorrow," Melone spoke, causing you to instantly look at him, seeming upset. "Well, I can take you with me. Want to come with me? I would love to take you. Just come home with me."

You were close to saying yes when Prosciutto suddenly spoke up, "You've been with her every waking second for the past five days. Take a break, I'll stay with her tonight." Your frown deepened. "Oh, stop with that pouting. You need to be a girlfriend to all of us, not just Melone."

"I call dibs tomorrow night," Formaggio replied, putting his cigarette butt in the crystal ashtray that rested in the middle of the dark wooden coffee table. "She likes me. See how she ain't frown more?"

You shrugged at Formaggio, causing him to give you a grin. "I don't really care who stays with me if it isn't Melone." You then turned towards Prosciutto. "I want to be an assassin. Behind the scenes is boring."

"Didn't I say no or are you fuckin' deaf?" Prosciutto snapped. "Goddamnit woman, when the man says no it means no."

"Is the man right here in the room with us?" You questioned, causing Prosciutto to immediately smack you upside the head. "You literally just concussed me." You felt a dull ache, but you were just being dramatic. He didn't concuss you.

"Stop being dramatic. That hardly hurt. Learn to watch your mouth, you keep pissing me off," Prosciutto snapped at you as he stood up. "Now stop questioning me, I'll be back in a few hours."

As Prosciutto began to walk away, you spoke, "Where do you think you're going? I don't remember you asking for my permission." Maybe if you showed him how annoying it was when he controlled you, he would stop.

He froze, turning back around as he looked down at you, his feet slowly starting to step back towards you. As his hand balled into a fist, Melone stood up, blocking Prosciutto from getting to you. "Just go Prosciutto, she's kidding."

"I am a grown man, I am in charge of you. You aren't in charge of me. You are beneath me in every way," Prosciutto snapped at you, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're a woman. You're our woman, meaning you just shut up and listen always. That's your job. Understand that girl?"

You shrugged your shoulders at him, causing him to glare at you one last time before turning away, walking out the front door and slamming it shut.

"Goddamnit Y/N," Formaggio snapped at you, pointing a finger at you. "You've gotta stop pissing him off. If you wanna fuck with someone fuck with Illuso or Ghiaccio."

"Don't tell her to fucking bother me," Ghiaccio suddenly snapped, his dark eyes glaring at Formaggio. "She's not bothering me at all, I want to keep it that way!" He turned his attention back to his computer, completely ignoring your existence. In Ghiaccios eyes it was as if you weren't even a person, just a prop that he seems to not be interested in. Fuck it, fine by you. He seemed like a total jack ass.

"Bother me, and I'll stick my dick in your mouth," Illuso told you, causing you to immediately stand up. "Come on, I'm joking around!" As he reached forward to grab you, you shook your head, walking past him, shaking your head once more as you felt his hand smack your ass, a loud pop sound filling the air.

"Stupid," you called out as you walked into your bedroom, softly closing the door. You let a low sigh escape your lips as you walked over to your desk, sitting down at the leather rolling chair that was slightly pushed out. You sighed, closing your eyes as you leaned back in the chair - this new life was definitely an adjustment for you. Aside from Melone and Formaggio, these men were not very likable. Maybe you were judging too hard. Or maybe you were right. Or maybe you were just insane.

#tw strong language #ravenzeppeli #jojos bizarre adventure #jjba #la squadra #tw yandere #ravenzeppeli yandere #tw language #tw adult themes #la squadra claimed #claimed la squadra #tw sex #tw mature #Illuso #melone #risotto #Formaggio #pesci #Ghiaccio #proscuitto jojo #prosciutto #jojos bizzare adventure vento aureo #jjba vento auero #part 5 vento aureo

[bambinaamor]

If I can be extremely honest the reason why I got Tumblr was to read content I can't normally get on ao3 or wattpad I was reading this story called claimed by @ravenzeppeli and to be honest it was one of the best fan fictions I ever read but when I started really paying attention to their post it got me thinking about there actual mentality and there strong emotions about that fic like about people stealing and reposting there story on other platforms and I to be extremely honest just thought they were complaining over nothing when the most recent chapter came out I was extremely excited to read it just to find out I had to pay to read it so I commented " Well I guess I'll never know what happened then because bills are more important and tbh it's not worth it" something like that and I wake up to realize that claimed has been destroyed I get that people have very strong feelings over there content but I never knew it could go to that degree overall I wish I could read claimed once again I just wanted to state my opinion on the whole situation

If you are reading this @ravenzeppeli I mean no harm I hope you are well and one day claimed can come back you were an excellent writer and I hope you know that

With love barbieann

#bring back claimed #ravenzeppeli #la squadra claimed #stating my opinion

[i2joots]

La Squadra Claimed Series Masterpost

These writings are not from me but from the original author @ravenzeppeli who had their story Claimed deleted by Wattpad.

Introduction || Sideshots || Other Works

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

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Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

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Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

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Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

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Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25

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Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30

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Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35

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Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40

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Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45

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Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50

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Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55

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Part 56 Part 57 Part 58 Part 59 Part 60

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Part 61 Part 62 Part 63 Part 64 Part 65

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Part 66 Part 67 Part 68 Part 69 Part 70

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Part 71 Part 72 Part 73 Part 74 Part 75

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Part 76 Part 77 Part 78 Part 79 Part 80

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Part 81 Part 82 Part 83 Part 84 Part 85

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Part 86 Part 87 Part 88 Part 89 Part 90

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Part 91 Part 92 Part 93 Part 94 Part 95

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Part 96   Next →

#Ravenzeppeli #Ravenzeppeli writing #Ravenzeppeli wattpad #la squadra claimed #la squadra claimed series #claimed series

[tonberry-yoda]

HI HELLO I WANNA MAKE A REQUEST!

i’m not dead (for the most part) and i still wanna support my mutualste despite not being active anymore so without further ado…you don’t think you could supply me with la squadra headcanons could you? preferably formi, mel and ris x a cat lover s/o? you choose one if you wanna, but i appreciate you taking the time to read this request! tysmmm💕💕 (i will totally be returning to ask you for final fantasy hcs but for right now take this! also don’t feel pressured to do it either i love your writing so much ksksjsksk)

Formaggio, Melone, and Risotto with an s/o who loves cats!

notes - HELLO MY DEAR! I am more than happy to do a request for you!!! I'm really glad that you're still here to support it means the world! You are so kind <3333 Like omg this request had me smiling so hard because you are just so nice like AHHHHH <33333 But fr tho I am super happy to do this for such a kind person! Thanks for taking the time to send me a request! I hope you have an amazing day/night and stay super hydrated!

Formaggio

he's a cuddly guy deep down and we all know it

I think he would love that you love cats

but if it get out of control, he will straight up tell you LMFAOOOO

honestly, whenever he goes to your place, your cats give him an excuse to rest lol

they are very cuddly with him and he loves it

like he loves cuddles and having a cat with all that makes him so so happy <3

LIKE OMFG IF THE TWO OF YOU ARE CUDDLING AND A KITTY JUST SQUEEZES RIGHT IN WOULD BE SO CUTE AHHHHH

Melone

he loves cats

they are his chaos creatures

but he will definitely complain if you are giving a cat more attention than him

it pisses him off LMFAOOOOOO

but other than that, he loves cats

and loves that you love cats

he'll spoil your cat lol

expect a lot of trips to the petstore and stuff to get your cat silly things

Risotto

he is a huge cat lover

LIKE HUGE ON CATS

he loves them so much omg

like would do anything for a little kitty

so much so that he will steal your cats from you and give your cats more attention than he gives you

he loves cuddling you and your cats as well

his favorite thing to do I think is brush your cats

like makin them all pretty and stuff

he really makes sure that you're feeding them well too

he loves cats just as much as you <33333

~~~~~

jjba masterlist (2) (3) | pinned post

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated <3

taglist: @kawaistrawberry21

~~~~~

#thanks so much!! #you're so sweet omg #moots <3 #requests #tonberry answers #asks #jjba #jjba x reader #writing #my writing #fanfic #fanfiction #jojos bizarre adventure #jojos bizarre adventure x reader #risotto #risotto nero x reader #risotto x reader #risotto nero #melone #melone x reader #formaggio x reader #vento aureo #vento auero x reader #jjba part 5

[industriallyinsecure]

Could I please please PLEASE get some headcannons of la squadra and where they took their partner on their first date/favorite date?

I went with first date for this request :)

Risotto is planning this extremely detailed date that he believes is worthy of you, but at the same time brings him out of his comfort zone

(He has never been on a date before)

He’s genuinely surprised (and relieved) when you suggest a stay in date with little to no interaction with anyone except maybe the person who delivers the food

The two of you snuggle up on the couch, completely intertwined as you wait for your food to arrive

While chatting about the things he originally had planned , you called him chiocciolino (little snail) and praised him for trying something different and coming out of his shell

He’s never had a nickname outside of the affectionate shortening of his name or the horrible things he was called in his youth, so you earn a rare, yet small, smile from him

You spend the rest of the night nibbling on and sharing your food together while watching one of his favorite shitty horror movies on his old VHS player

(Everyone else comes home to see the two of you gonked out on the couch with the TV on and food on the low table. Formaggio calls dibs on not cleaning up)

Ghiaccio takes you to his favorite skating rink so he can show off for you

He only mentions he used to be a professional ice skater mid-way through your date

(Comes off a bit assholish, but he really just wants to impress you)

If you don’t know how to skate, or can’t very well, he uses the opportunity to hold you close and teach you

If you’re pretty good, he tries to flex on you

Either way, it ends with one of you busting your ass on the ice

Ghiaccio will be mortified, but you just laugh it off

When you ask him to do one of his old routines, he’ll blush furiously and claim to not remember any

Which is a lie

If you keep pressing, he’ll do it, but he’ll complain the whole time

He’s absolutely beautiful and graceful to watch, a far cry from the choppy, fast pace of Ghiaccio’s actions that you were used to

Melone takes you to a local contemporary restaurant

He likes new experiences and trying new things, especially with new people!

Absolutely makes small talk, compares zodiac signs, natal charts, etc.

Asks very strange, but thoughtful questions

They’re not the normal questions, but things like “What is your opinion on the housing crisis?” And “If you could be any plant what would you be?”

For lack of a better word, the first date with Melone is quirky

He shares his food with you, but just passes the plate over rather than holding out a spoon/fork like a creep

100% pays for your meal regardless of the price (his wallet is crying)

After, he takes you to get gelato and makes you pick a flavor you don’t normally get, and he does the same

All in all, a very traditional, vanilla date, but fun

Prosciutto plans the most extravagant date possible just to impress you

He dresses to the nines (not that you can tell the difference from usual) and wears his best cologne. He even puts on several of his favorite rings.

It’s too bad that the date goes awful

The exhibition he had taken you two had been taken over by environmental protesters

So he tries to take you to the restaurant he made a reservation at

Only for them to have never reserved a spot for the two of you

(He doesn’t blow up on them because you’re with him, but God does he want to)

With the date ruined, he decides to just take you back home and reschedule

As he walks you back to your apartment, a car speeds by and drenches both of you in a respectable amount of rainwater

When Prosciutto sees your shoulders shaking, he fears the worst.

But when your giggles get louder, he just gets confused

“I hope our next one goes better, Pro.”

You pull him into a brief kiss (and he imagines steam coming out of his ears and comical train whistling)

Pesci is trying to plan a date with you, and suggests almost everything but what he wants to do

So when you suggest renting a boat from the closest marina and to go out fishing, he’s over the moon!

He’ll grab all of his fishing things, much to the behest of Prosciutto, and the two of you head off

The two of you sit with your legs through the railing, the fishing rods casted

The day is filled with lots of catches and releases, and lots of pleasant conversations

If you have no experience, he takes the time to properly set everything up, carefully walking you through each step

If you do, it just makes him like you even more!

(Women want him, fish befriend him)

He almost drops the fishing rod when you lean your head against his shoulder

All in all, a very successful date

When he gets back, Formaggio and Illuso absolutely make some foul comments about how he smells like fish

(I don’t have the courage to write any here)

Illuso plans to take you to one of the only places he liked to go with his family as a child

Insists on getting ready with you, even helping you with your hair and makeup to the best of his ability.

(If you beg, he might let you style his hair)

The train and bus rides to Teatro La Fenice is fairly uneventful

His refined upbringing shows when he starts to talk to others in the theater, which is as shocking as it is interesting

You try not to stare as he puts on this rich person persona, but it’s genuinely amazing that he schmoozes an older couple into giving him their box seats

But the Illuso you know comes back during the orchestra tune up, snickering and making snide comments

The opera is long, and some of the nuance is lost on you, but Illuso had a way of picking it apart that made it funny to listen to

His ability to simultaneously make fun of it but also provide insightful commentary made the date a success

At least in your mind

You did fall asleep on him during intermission though

Formaggio honest to god forgets you have a date

So you end up at his apartment cuddling with his cat while he rifles through the phone book for delivery places

He considers himself lucky that you don’t rip him a new one

And, luckily for him, you’re very low maintenance. He would take offense to you not really having a high standard of him, but he doesn’t really mind

You don’t protest when he puts a football match on (a welcome surprise since he didn’t take you for a sports fan)

The two of you (and his kitty) snuggle up together as you wait for your food to be delievered

He’s only mildly betrayed when his cat moves away from him to soak up all of his attention

She’s always been fickle

But it’s a good sign that she likes you

The takeout is just okay, which both of you note, and definitely not worth the price

You end up falling asleep on the couch, and he doesn’t really know what to do. Does he move you to his mattress? Would it be weird to move you?

He ends up covering you with a blanket and sleeping propped up in the other chair because he felt guilty about using his own bed while you slept on the couch

#la squadra di esecuzione #la squadra x reader #risotto nero x reader #ghiaccio x reader #melone x reader #prosciutto x reader #pesci x reader #illuso x reader #formaggio x reader #la squadra headcanons

[shadowywerewolf-main]

LA SQUADRA'S CRACK FILES

Rookie's Survival Guide

1. Don't approach Risotto with the query of whereabouts of Carpentry Tools. He will pull one out of your mouth.

2. For male candidates only: Atleast 1/3rd of your torso area must remain exposed at all times. Ghiaccio is an exception, owing to the risk of team members end up suffering from hypothermia.

3. You are not allowed to keep a mirror in your bedroom.

4. Ghiaccio does not function as an air conditioner. Do not request any related help.

5. Formaggio's feline is claustrophobic; handle with care.

6. For candidates with long hair: Do not borrow hair ties from Illuso unless you do not cherish your privacy.

7. Operation 'Deprive Risotto of his Peace' is not an official mission, no matter what Gelato says.

8. Saying 'I didn't do it' gets you investigated.

9. Sorbet does not eat people. You are request not to get scared in case Formaggio states so.

10. You are to partake in household activities every Sunday. Assigned task will not be changed.

11. For female candidates only: Do not allow Melone to take your blood samples for 'science'.

12. Do not pet any member's Stand incase they approach you with affection. You will be locked in a jar.

13. Don't touch Formaggio's belongings. You will be locked in a jar.

14. DO NOT INTERFERE WITH THE TEAM'S BROMANCE. THAT SHIT IS SERIOUS FOR THE FAMIGLIA. /srs

15. Dude, bro, homie, man, fam, etc. are gender neutral terms for the members. Female candidates must not look forward to being called 'sis'. The members are not used to it and feel threatened to the mentions of 'sis' or related terms.

16. Do not roleplay in front of the bathroom mirror.

17. You must not use other's preferred utensils.

18. Perform your bathroom routines before Illuso, Melone or Prosciutto get the access.

19. The hair in the bathtub is not alive no matter what Illuso claims.

20. Buy yourself 5 pairs of earplugs before moving in.

21. In case Melone talks of REAL SCIENCE (only), listen to him patiently.

22. Respect women and don't act like a douchebag. We might be assassins but disrespecting ANYONE is looked down upon. You'll be locked in a jar.

23. You will be assigned a seat for team meetings. You cannot change your seat. You must not change your seat.

24. Wake up before 07:00 Hours, unless you like a bucket of water thrown at you.

25. Cleaning the toilet with only a toothbrush and dish soap is not a part of member acceptance procedures, no matter what Sorbet says.

26. Pesci is not imported from Antarctica, no matter what Gelato says.

27. Prosciutto is prone to getting paranoid to new members. Approach gently.

28. Do not use Proverbs or Idioms when Ghiaccio is within the premises. Purchase yourself a grammar book to read in your free time.

29. You are to be present at every 'Gossip Club Meeting' and you must bring with yourself dark nail paints for Sorbet and Gelato to exploit.

30. Demand a pay raise, and you will be locked in a jar.

Issued by

Risotto Nero

Supreme Overlord

Note: See 23rd point for the reference

#la squadra #la squadra di esecuzione #jjba vento auero #jjba #vento aureo #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba risotto #risotto #jjba prosciutto #prosciutto #jjba melone #melone #jjba pesci #pesci #jjba formaggio #formaggio #jjba illuso #jojo illuso #jjba ghiaccio #ghiaccio #sorbet #jjba sorbet #gelato #jjba gelato

[seiyasabi]

Could I have yandere la squadra with a single mom who were left by cheater husband, she is gave birth not too long and live alone without anyone. He worried that her and babies are not safe, they are weak, fail, could break easily, even can't defense themselves.

He kept eyes on her and make sure that she was safe until she gave birth, and making sure that cheater won't comes near her and babies ever again.

Sure :)) I haven't done La Squadra for a min

Yan La Squadra x Pregnant Reader w Cheater ex S/O HCs:

Risotto:

-Probably meets u before ur even pregnant

-He likes how nice you are to him, even tho he looks scary as hell

-So, when you end up sitting on a park bench, crying your eyes out, he's there to comfort you

-He'll bring you to his apartment, keeping a strong arm around you as you sob into his side

-He is a little upset that you're pregnant by somebody else, but it makes sense that it was ur husband who got you pregnant

-Even tho he's calm on the outside... he's fuming

-How dare that scum cheat on you and then leave you? Doesn't he know how much of a catch u are?

-Swears to provide for you and your babies, and he does

-Will go to all of your appointments w u, scaring the crap out of the medical professionals

-Will also make that ex and his mistress disappear- neither deserve to live after what they did to you

-He's so protective over u, not allowing u to do anything outside of the house or anything too labor intensive

-Once u give birth, he can't help but dote on the two of you, even though he's stony faced the entire time

Prosciutto:

-You were a waitress at a fancy restaurant he normally attended

-You were always the nicest and well trained of the wait staff, leading to him requesting you every time he came to the restaurant

-You two quickly became friends, so when you broke the news that you were pregnant, he was happy but upset

-But, he still supported you and your happiness... until your husband publicly humiliated you

-Apparently, the man didn't even know what restaurant you worked at, leading him to bring his mistress to your work place, where you were currently serving one of your closest friends

-You broke down into tears, hand cradling your medium sized bump, as the man you loved nonchalantly claimed you were a one night stand to his mistress, explaining away you and your pregnancy

-Prosciutto and the other wait staff quickly stepped in, the blond man kindly taking you back to his home, and doting on you almost immediately

-He has you quit your job, allowing him to keep you safe inside and close to him (on his off days)

-Won't hesitate to take on the father role, vowing to love anything that came from you

-Is a good ass dad and new hubby tbh, bc he will do literally everything for u

Melone:

-Notices you when you're pregnant

-You're about 6 months along, tummy very prominent

-He'd met you at your job during one of your shifts, and you'd become fast friends

-He visits your coffee house almost every day after that

-So, he's there when your husband's mistress comes in, throwing hot coffee in your face, and calling you a whore for 'stealing her man,' even though it's the other way around

-One of the other men in the coffee shop wrestles the woman to the floor, allowing Melone to rush to your side, pressing wet compresses to your lightly burned face

-This entire event sends you into an early birth, and Melone is with you every step of the way

-He's there during the birth, allowing you to squeeze him as hard as you need to

-Once you're finished, you allow him to cradle you to his chest, falling asleep as ur babe goes off to the NICU

-He'll act as a stand in father, slowly winning over you and your child's heart

-Once ur good and dandy, he'll get a sample and see if ur compatible w Baby Face :P

Formaggio:

-You gave him a meal on the street bc u thought he was homeless lmao

-It was sweet, and ur pretty, so he didn't mind

-But when he found out u had a husband? Damn

-And when he found out ur a near future milf? DAMN!

-He doesn't care, he ups his game, but it doesn't really work lmao

-But, once he sees that ur husband is a cheater? All bets are off the table

-He took photo after photo of them, before confronting them

-Ur pussy husband tries to bitch out, but Formaggio doesn't hold back, publicly humiliating him, before dragging him and the mistress to ur house and forcing them to admit what they did wrong

-U want to try to fix it, but ur husband is like no<3, leading him to kick u out of the house bc ur bestie beat the dog shit out of him

-But don't worry, Formaggio deep cleaned his apartment before u came over, and his cats love u the moment they meet u

-When ur baby is born, Formaggio doesn't necessarily know what to do, but he tries his best

-The cats love snoozing w the babe, always keeping them warm and alerting u when ur babe needs u

-Formaggio is totally the type to wear a baby carrier and claim them as his own

Illuso:

-Notices u when ur out shopping

-U look so self conscious as u try on maternity clothes, and ur husband is being a nasty asshole

-When ur hubby wanders away to take a phone call from his mistress, Illuso slips in, helping u find clothes that suit u and make u feel confident

-He did this at first to boost his own ego, but he can't help but like you

-U became fast friends, and on the day of ur birth, he's one of the people in the delivery room, taking the place of ur absent husband

-Ur husband missed the birth of ur child bc he was with his mistress, which u found out later during an argument

-U were completely torn up, but Illuso didn't allow u to fall into a postpartum depression

-He swallowed his pride for a minute, allowing him to dote on u in the way u deserved

-He at first was v distant from the babe, but over the first year, he couldn't help but view them as his own

-NGL, he tortured and killed ur ex in his mirror realm, all whilst u and the babe napped one day

Pesci (TW mentions of suicidal mindset)

-Nice boy is nice

-He notices u when ur sitting on the ledge of a bridge he walks on

-U just looked so ethereal, he couldn't help but approach u

-He was so concerned the moment he realised u were crying and heavily pregnant

-When he asked what was wrong, u explained that ur husband left u for his mistress, leaving u heavily pregnant without a home

-U wanted to end it all before u brought a baby into a homeless world

-It broke Pesci's heart, causing him to offer u a place to stay

-He knows that Prosciutto will be mad at him, but he can't help but help u

-After this, the two of you were inseparable

-He doted on you like crazy, trying to convince u that it was ok if u quit ur job, he'd take care of u until ur mentally ready

-U don't take off, but u appreciate him enough that you make him yummy goods

-He falls in love so fast, and he already knows that he'll love ur baby like his own

-When u give birth, he's panicking, but he stays dutifully by ur side

-Will ALWAYS take care of the baby, going so far to force u back into bed when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night

-Literally is the best one, 10/10

Ghiaccio:

-Watches the breakdown happen w his own two eyes

-You'd told ur hubby that u were pregnant at a gelato place, a cute announcement in a sweet treat

-But, he didn't react well

-He straight up yelled at u, telling u that u need to get rid of the baby bc u don't deserve to pass on his genes, and that his mistress is better than u

-It was a wild ride, and Ghiaccio refused to continue to watch it happen

-He stood up for you, practically strangling ur ex with his bare hands

-Ur husband was shamed out of the establishment, leaving a wilted you on a hard chair, gelato melting into a pitiful lump

-Ghiaccio isn't good at comforting others, but he tries to make u feel better by buying u a new gelato

-From that day on, u two became friends

-He doesn't really dote on you, but he is a comforting presence

-He is there when u give birth, and he thinks ur child is so wonderful

-Will step up immediately, practically forcing his way into ur child's life, and he is v reliable

-He's a consistent presence, and u welcome him w open arms

Sorbet and Gelato:

-It's unknown how u came upon their radar

-All u know is that they one day appeared lmao

-Ur husband dislikes them bc they always vouch for what's good for u- pointing out how he's always missing

-They find out he's cheating almost right away, allowing them to gather evidence against him

-But then.... you fall pregnant

-They don't know if it's right to tell u, but they do anyways

-They comfort u the entire time, as u wait for him to come home

-He ends up coming home w the mistress, not expecting u and ur homies to be there

-It's a shit show

-Sorbet and Gelato don't hesitate to kill them

-You're in shock, not expecting such a reaction, allowing them to drag u away

-Ur a house spouse for them after that, neither allowing u out bc they're so paranoid ab the boss

-Will only allow u to see approved doctors, and when u give birth, u do so in the bathtub lmao

-Ur pissed, but the birth was p smooth sailing

-After that, it's like y'all were together for all of ur lives

-They pretend that they're the birth fathers, never allowing u to even think ab ur ex

-They're the scariest two on here, bc they simply don't care, they'll just yoink u away the moment they're able to

#la squadra x reader

[sourwormsaresour]

Can I ask what it would be like to get married to La Squadra? What would a wedding with them be like? :3

I love this! Regardless of any cultural traditions that might entail between you and the La Squadra member you're marrying, here's how I think it will go.

Let's assume the boys have actual money to do this.

Formaggio would definitely leave most of the planning to you. Your wedding would most likely be at a hotel or venue where everything could be done at the same time for convenience sake and he’ll just go with the flow on what you plan on doing. However, don’t expect things to be completely serious or fancy. Even if you go with white-tie fine dining vibe, Formaggio will add his humor and style to it. That doesn’t matter though; this was the man you fell in love with and he will run it by you first. You can put him in a stiff suit and make him take etiquette classes, but he’s going to to break the tension in his own way at least once and remind you to enjoy your wedding. Whether that be his very sappy and funny vows, having soccer merch as part of the wedding favors, or using his cats as the ring bearer, he’s going to make your wedding memorable to guests one way or another. Most importantly, he’s making sure you’re enjoying yourself and constantly feel his love both in front of the wedding guests and in private, so expect a butt squeeze and some funny wedding photos during the reception. He’s the guy that’s going to be parading around and being like “that’s my spouse! I love my spouse!” and getting hyphy as the wedding progresses with his groomsmen. Rest assured he will still be on his best behavior regardless. 

Illuso wants a destination wedding. It could be somewhere in the snowy Alps of Switzerland, the hot deserts of Egypt, or maybe as far as the tropical islands of Oceania. Wherever it is, regardless of whether the location fits the theme, you know it’s going to scream luxury. You want a diamond encrusted crown to wear with a cathedral veil? He demands it must be custom made. You want the groomsmen to wear velvet suits in the desert? The boys will have to suffer for you. You want a 20-foot flower wall consisting of all your favorite flowers? The florist can figure out how to make sure they don’t wilt in the tropical heat. Your wedding takes inspiration from high-profile celebrity weddings and he’s deeply involved in making sure the vision for the wedding matches the reality. Not only that, he wants to show off and this wedding is merely an opportunity to rub it in his team’s face that he has the best wedding and the best spouse. He might be all smug and bragging about how amazing the wedding has been cordinated but his persona immediately drops once he sees you walking down the aisle. This man who claims he won’t shed a tear is going to be a crying mess once you step out.  

Pesci would keep it small like a backyard micro wedding and reception. He prefers this mainly because he wants this to be something shared with just the people you and him love in addition to it being budget friendly. The wedding itself feels more like a get-together, with the reception being more of a potluck and everyone contributed to helping out regarding that, decorations, or other costs. If you want something a little more extravagant or slightly bigger than a backyard, he would be down to do a simple beach wedding at a nearby bed and breakfast just out of town that he rents out so it would be easy to perform the wedding and have some privacy as well. Pesci is down for a DIY wedding; he likes the arts and craft aspects and doesn’t mind spending nights helping you buy materials and assemble them as the day approaches. It’s another way he could spend time with you and he likes getting himself involved in the wedding planning if you let him. He’s a nervous wreck seeing you walk down the aisle for the first time but he’s able to hold it together after reminding himself to only focus on you. For the rest of the day, he doesn’t want to let go of your hand. If he wasn’t so shy, he would be shouting from the mountains saying how happy he was marrying you.

Prosciutto is all about that old money glamour. If you’re into the academia/royalty-core/east coast rich aesthetic, this wedding is for you. He’ll rent an entire estate villa and make great use of the gardens and ballrooms to fit your fairytale or vintage fantasty. A special wedding coordinator will be with you the entire time to make sure everything is running smoothly and properly. The guest list is big but also vetted to ensure that everyone is following dresscode, manners, and security is even there to make sure those that try to ruin your special day are “escorted” out discretely. Hours were spent on meetings, rehersals, dance practices, and even etiquitte classes to make sure your wedding rivals that of today’s royal families and other high-society members. No expenses were spared, and everything was done in what he believes is tasteful yet luxurious. Prosciutto also makes sure everything is preserved post-wedding so you both can look back on it one day, whether that be photo-ops, your vows, anything that can have both of you look back fondly on after the celebrations. Even with the enormous multi-tier cake, ballet dancers twirling at the altar, and bright fireworks to end the night, his eyes will be on you and only you. Throughout the whole wedding he never let go of your hand. His team mentions how this is the only day you would see him smile the biggest. 

Melone prefers to straight up elope if given the opportunity. He wouldn’t mind if you prefer having a proper ceremony and reception planned out but know that he’s the guy who would be down to just get married without the frills and bells. It could be a simple Tuesday afternoon at home when he will pop the question while you’re making lunch and then one hour later you’re at a local courthouse both wearing your Sunday best, exchanging vows, and having random strangers you just picked from the streets as your witnesses. It’s like a movie montage: two lovebirds running down the street, picking up a bouquet from a flower stand, before catching the last appointment with the justice of peace and then driving off to the sunset on a motorcycle. Even though it’s very simple and straightforward, it doesn’t mean Melone is doing this as a one and done thing. In fact, he already planned his vows in advance and had that ring in his pocket for weeks before he popped the question. During your short ceremony, he tells you that being married isn’t just for a piece of paper or to perform some procedure but to show you that he is completely committed to you and promose to continue loving, honoring, and caring for you as long as he lived. He doesn’t need a flashy event to show you that; this is enough for him. 

Ghiaccio is a simple man, albeit would complain about certain traditions if his mind doesn’t get why they need to be done. However, he is still respectful nonetheless and spends much of the wedding planning worrying about whether things are going the way you want it. His wedding is small and simple but consisted of your closest friends and family attending a  courthouse ceremony followed by a reception from a rented out restaurant of both your choosing. Throughout the whole planning process, he’s mostly hands off but would end up arguing with caterers who either disrepected you or refuse to not do what you wanted. He looks extremely awkward and stiff in his suit and is constantly a mess ever since your engagement to the point that you think that maybe he’s getting cold feet. But once you’re holding his hand at the courthouse and it’s time for vows, his face suddenly softens and his voice is steady for the first time in several months. In the clearest, most sincere voice he promises you that he would love, cherish, respect, and honor you until the very end, and you were reminded once again why you fell in love with this man. His team teases him for acting rather sentimental, but he surprisngly doesn’t argue back. Instead, he’s quietly watching you the rest of the day with the warmest smile in the world. 

Risotto has a similar wedding to Prosciutto’s but that’s mainly becuase he is a mafia leader who needs to present himself to society and the rest of Passione a certain way, and having an extravagant wedding is one of the many ways to do so. The wedding itself would also scream luxury and regal while following the most current wedding trends in order to be considered on par with what is expected for a mafia wedding. Unless you want to be directly involved in plan, he’ll handle hiring the best planners, caterers, and whatnot to ease the stress and know what is needed to meet or exceed all  expectations for a man his status. However, he is still a rather private man and would throw a secret civil wedding ceremony with just you, him, and the officiant so that you could have that simple single moment of privacy together before the more grandiose ceremony to get over with. The two of you are only wearing your favorite outfits, sharing vows that only you and he would know, and enjoying the night alone with only him soon after. He’s stoic throughout the big wedding celebrations, occasionally baring a smile for cameras and for appearances, but you had the luxury of seeing his actual smile during your secret ceremony.

Sorbet and Gelato have a rather normal, ordinary wedding. I’m not going to do one about what it would be like to marry both because I think they would only want to marry each other. Typical wedding at a venue where the ceremony and reception would be held with their closest friends and families. I like to think they’re going to wear matching designer suits with equally expensive designer rings to exchange and very polished shoes to dance in soon after. The only bizarre thing that would happen is how the wedding is officiated. That one headcanon someone made about the two of them coercing a Catholic priest to officiate their marriage in good o’l Catholic 1990s Italy because they wanted it it be legal “in God’s eyes” lives in my head rent-free and I absolutely think Sorbet and Gelato would do this one way or another. Seeing them together would be no different than how they show PDA to their team, albeit way more than usual. It’s a bit annoying to their teammates but they let it slide- it’s their big day. Plus, they can handle a few hours of this for a few weeks of peace and quiet when the lovebirds go on their honeymoon to God-knows-where. 

#la squadra #la squadra di esecuzione #jjba la squadra #la squadra jojo #wedding #jjba headcanons #headcanons #vento aureo #jjba #golden wind #jjba vento auero #jojos bizarre adventure #jjba melone #jjba risotto #jjba ghiaccio #jjba prosciutto #jjba illuso #jjba formaggio #jjba pesci #jjba sorbet #jjba gelato #sorbet and gelato #melone #illuso #formaggio #prosciutto #ghiaccio #pesci #risotto nero #il vento d'oro

[depressed-lombster]

True and honest La Squadra headcanons

Formaggio 🧀

- R.I.P Formaggio you would've loved The Most EXtreme on Animal Planet

- Knows obscure spider facts

- Has no aspirations, became an assassin for the lulz

- Stuffing his cat in the bottle is Anime only anti-Formaggio slander and I will not stand for it, no I don't believe he's like a cat dad or anything but I refuse the narrative the anime gives

Illuso 🪞

- Stupid, ugly, cringe has rat hair

- Racist (especially to Formaggio)

- Would slut shame a victim of SA

Pesci 🎣

- He doesn't even fish

- Pissed off an eldritch being (Prosciutto) and now he's stuck in this Hellish job he does not want

- He likes painting his nails in his spare time, claims he's just "in touch with his emotions" in reality he's just gay and has aspirations to do drag, he'd be beautiful too

- Prosciutto is the only member he takes any shit from and it's because he loves him and knows being a controlling bitch makes him happy

- Has several food allergies

Prosciutto ⚰️

- Mentally ill

- his last name is Cappano if Jorge Joestar is to be believed

- This mf has the clumpiest mascara, it's tragic

- Prosciutto is neither a young man or an old man who turns himself into a young man using Grateful Dead's ability to suck the youth from people. He's actually a featureless humanoid that can shapeship and pretends to be a person which is why he's acts like that and everyone is just weirdly okay with the fact that he is an abomination of nature

Melone 🖥️

- This bitch dyes his hair stupid colors like Lavender, he's naturally blonde

- His Stand runs on Linux

- Plays Neopets, he has a Grundo and is way too invested in the Neopet economy

- He literally showed up at their base one day and refuses to leave

- Can drive a motorcycle but doesn't know how to drive a car

- He doesn't really kill anyone he mostly does finances

Ghiaccio 😾

- Literally Autistic

- It's the early 2000s and you know for a FACT his furry ass is in AOL chatrooms discussing Tiny Toons in his spare time

- Says shit like "mammaries" when he means "fat tits" and it really pisses everyone off

Risotto Nero ✂️

- This man has no idea how to use a computer, technology scares him and he will never learn

- Killed a man and injected tattoo ink into his eyes and didn't know where to go from there

- Looks up mental illnesses on Wikipedia in his spare time

- he refuses to actually buy an apartment and just stays in random hotel rooms, he claims it's to be harder to track but really because the depression

La Squadra as a whole🧀🪞🎣⚰️🖥️😾✂️

- The only members who actually live together are Prosciutto and Pesci and Risotto and Melone, the former is because Prosciutto is a horrible monster that attached itself to Pesci and the later is because Melone wont get out of Risotto's hotel room. Formaggio and Ghiaccio have their own houses

- Teamwork isn't their strong suit

- These bitches ain't broke

#headcanons #jjba part 5 #la Squadra headcanons #real #canon #jjba prosciutto #jjba ghiaccio #jjba melone #jjba formaggio #jjba pesci #jjba risotto nero #jojo's Bizarre Adventure #vento aureo

[crazyyanderefangirlfan]

La Fluffdra. PT. 1

Based on @the-illiterate-pirate idea on cat boy la squadra. The name and breed la squadra is based on this twitter users interprentation. https://twitter.com/AllHailJotman_/status/1310261333623861248

You cursed at sky as it heavily poured, you already got chewed out by your boss for something minor but at this point you think he just hates you.

Sighing, as you made a turn you did a double take as you noticed a cage filled with kittens in it. What kind of monster would do that?

Pulling up you took the cage and placed at the back seat, and using your coat to give them more warmth.

Once you got home, you gently placed the cage down. Upon closer inspection you finally took noticed of their appearance.

The first one out was a Maine coon and oh my God it was one of the largest ones you seen. Its red eyes scanned your room and decided to hop on top of one of the seats and shook itself getting water everywhere.

A white Persian cat was pressed against the cage, hissing. You couldn’t blame it, t wasn’t a smooth drive. The Sphynx stayed near it, even licking its fur much to the Persian cat’s displeasure.

A proud looking Savannah strutted out, its eyes seemed to judge its surroundings. Beside it was Pallas cat with heart shaped patterns on its fur, it shook itself but immediately got scolded but the Savannah.

A long haired Siamese took a tentative steps but got knocked over by a small orange British munchkin who darted pass by its legs. The bigger cat hissed and went after it.

The final two, an Oriental short hair and Gold gradient. The smaller cat took a sniff before darting around the room while the black cat just watched it.

And so begins your new life with cats

A year passed since you took in your fur babies, they were the light in your world of darkness. Okay that was dramatic but it was the truth.

You named them after food, except Ghiaccio (the Persian) and Illuso (the Siamese).

Formaggio (The British short munchkin) Melone (Sphynx cat) Risotto: (Maine coon) P rosciutto (Savannah) Pesci (Pallas） Sorbet (Oriental shorthair) and Gelato (gold gradients)

They naughty but you loved them too much, and they showed it in their own ways as well.

After another grueling day at work, you just wanted to order take-out and cuddle with your cats.

However, once you got home no cats greeted you. Instead you saw seven half-naked men lounging in your living room. You never screamed so loud in your life.

"Where are my cats!? What did you do!?"

The men claimed to be your cats and tried to calm you down but you weren't having. Around the corner you saw Prosciutto and Risotto come in, you sighed in relief and kneel down, cooing. Only for them to transform in front of you, both very naked and you at their groin height.

Risotto: We have things to discuss

#la squadra #la squadra esecuzioni #la squadra di esecuzione #poly la squadra #jjba #jjba golden wind #jjba part 5 #jjba vento auero #jojo’s bizarre adventure #jojos bizarre adventures vento aureo #jojo golden wind #risotto nero #jojo risotto #jojo prosciutto #jojo pesci #jojo formaggio #jojo illuso #jojo melone #jojo ghiaccio #jojo sorbet #jojo gelato #la squadra x reader #yandere #yandere males x reader #yandere male

[squadrah]

From My CuriousCat

"It's cheesy and tropey as heck, but thoughts on La Squadra university/dorm/campus etc. AU?"

Formaggio's greatest claim to fame is that when an angry goose wandered onto campus and started terrorizing students, he reportedly ran outside, let out a battle cry, and hurled a cat at it like a football. His howling and the screaming projectile cat caught the goose off guard, and it fled the campus. Formaggio was hailed as a hero and treated to many beers.

Despite his conditions, Melone volunteered for the exchange student assistance program because it allowed him to practice his language skills and meet people from different cultures. Chronic pain be damned, he has introduced many an exchange student to his favorite places in town, and whenever he was too ill to meet in person, he video called the student in question and guided them online.

Ghiaccio practically lives in the student library and is studying to be a librarian. At the beginning, he thought he had found his nemesis in Prosciutto, who always seemed to come to the library with a large party of students that swarmed around him talking and loitering, but when Ghiaccio had enough at one point and yelled at them to leave, Prosciutto thanked him because he had been annoyed by this too, but they kept following him around no matter what he did. Ever since then, the two of them had been sitting at the same table, finally able to study in peace, though Ghiaccio sometimes gets distracted by Prosciutto's cleavage, and honestly, who wouldn't. Eventually they were joined by Pesci, who attended a lecture taught by Prosciutto (as part of the latter's PhD training) and has been struck with him ever since and will join the table as a third to ask questions and be angrily hushed by Ghiaccio.

Illuso keeps stealing flyers on campus, but nobody has ever caught him in the act and he has never allowed anyone to enter his room full of fliers, so he still walks free and commits misdemeanors. He also has an honestly staggering collection of vouchers and student cards, and always seems to be cashing in discounts. He may or may not have stolen some of these vouches from other students.

Because of his stature, Risotto is often seen escorting students who are afraid to walk by themselves at night because one time he successfully prevented something and word spread around. Now students gravitate towards him if they want to feel safe. He rarely talks to these people because he's taciturn by nature, but he understands why they come to him, so he lets them.

Sorbet and Gelato are exchange students from different countries. They met during freshman camp and Melone thought they had good chemistry, so he "helped" them meet up again and again at nice places in town. They are now inseparable and sometimes play hooky to go on dates just because they are exchange students and viva la vida, suckers! They even moved into a small apartment together and are cooking and holding little parties as often as can be.

#jjba #la squadra #risotto nero #formaggio #prosciutto #pesci #ghiaccio #melone #illuso #sorbet #gelato #squadrah headcanons #squadrah original

[ravenzeppeli]

Claimed

Chapter 32 - 5 Month Mark to Forever |La Squadra x Reader|

Warning: strong language, threats. MA.

Ghiaccio's POV

Ghiaccio assumed that he would just be picking you up and taking you to his place this Saturday, his hand gripping your bag as he stood by the door, his eyes on his capo, Risotto. "What is it?" His eyes darted over to you, a small smirk on your lips as you kept your eyes on Risotto. Something weird definitely was going on, considering how pleased you looked.

"Risotto has amazing news," you said, your voice smooth, almost giddy. "He was waiting to say it. It's just a quick something before we go." Your eyes suddenly landed on Melone, who was watching you carefully in his seat right by Risottos.

Melone wore a confused expression on his face, his thin eyebrows pulled into a low scowl as he studied your face, attempting to read you. "What's the news, boss?" He muttered to Risotto, keeping his eyes on your face.

Prosciutto and Formaggio sat next to Melone, Illuso, and Pesci being sat across. Everyone seemed to be here despite it being Saturday morning. Did Risotto call everyone here? Now Ghiaccio was starting to grow worried.

"I'll allow you to say it," Risotto muttered as he leaned back in his chair, red eyes scanning the room. "Go on and tell them. The decision is final regardless."

"Oh God, what is it?" Pesci questioned, panic filling his wide eyes. "Are you pregnant?"

Illuso let out a laugh, a wide grin appearing on his lips. "It ain't mine, so I'm good. I'm sure I'll be a good uncle and stepfather."

"She's not pregnant," snapped Prosciutto, giving Pesci and Illuso a glare. "She's on the pill."

You rolled your eyes, stepping forward, leaving Ghiaccio to stand by the front door all by himself. Goddamnit, he just wanted to take you to his home and celebrate these past five months with you. Sharing you with six other men was was fucking annoying. He'd rather just share you with Melone and Pesci only.

"So, who's going to start taking me on side missions with them?" You questioned, causing the room to fall silent. "Because I got approved. I can go with you all to beat people up. I will now be throwing the punches."

"You will be in the car and following behind," added in Risotto, raising his eyebrows at you. "Stop saying you're going to throw punches. I'll take the deal off the table and put you back on computers permanently."

"She did knock Formaggio out cold before," Illuso added in, his eyes scanning you up and down, a grin creeping on his lips. "I'll take you. You can join me when I go, and when Formaggio and I go, then so can you."

Ghiaccio blinked, sitting down your bag by the door, unable to process what was going on. From his understanding, you were their girlfriend, and despite the fact that you had a stand, you were going to stay working behind the scenes. Because you were their girlfriend. Girlfriend meaning that you needed to be fucking protected and away from the violence of their job. Goddamnit, why was Risotto suddenly allowing you to tag along? He didn't like this one bit. This would put you in danger.

Formaggio scoffed, "I let her knock me out. Fuck it, we'll start taking her with us. She can tag along and stand behind us." He shrugged, letting his eyes land on you. "You gotta listen to us."

"This is complete bullshit," spat out Prosciutto, his hands balling into fists. "She literally runs away when I punish her. She can't handle what we do."

"I only left because I can't punch you in your fucking face like I want," you replied calmly, a huff escaping Ghiaccio's lips as Prosciuttos head snapped towards you. "Next time I'm going to punch you." Goddammit, you just couldn't help yourself. Saying things like this to Prosciutto was a bad idea, and despite that you still mouthed off to him.

As Prosciutto went to stand, Risotto stopped him, his arm extending as he pushed Prosciutto back down onto the leather. "Both of you stop it," snapped Risotto, his voice growing dark. "You two need to fucking get along. No more fighting. We are supposed to be a fucking family. Act like it."

The authority in Risottos' voice caused you and Prosciutto to back down, the two of you looking away to stare at the ground. You and Prosciutto seemed destined to never get along, never being able to surpass a week without an argument breaking out. Ghiaccio felt bad, seeing you having to force a relationship that you didn't want. Did you even want him? He wasn't that much of a jack ass. He felt as if he treated you fairly well.

"She could get hurt," Melone muttered, eyes darkening as he stared at the ground. "Does she even know how to shoot a gun?"

"She can shoot a gun," Pesci blurted out, causing your mouth to slightly hang open, forming a perfect 'o' as you stared at him with disbelief. "Uh.. I mean. I think she can." He went to quickly get up, only to be stopped by Melone leaning forward, placing his hand on his leg. "I'm sorry, Y/N!" He covered his face with his hands, clearly hiding something.

Aside from Pesci, who was hiding his face, you had six pairs of eyes on you. Even Ghiaccio glared at you, wondering what in the fuck you could possibly be hiding. Well, you had a life before them, clearly you knew how to shoot a gun. Perhaps Luca taught you.

"Did you really think that Pesci put like, three bullets in that guy?" You spoke suddenly, causing a quick laugh to immediately escape Formaggios lips. "He always shoots twice, and he always shoots in the head."

How did you know how Pesci fucking shot people!? Ghiaccio shared no parts of his work life with you, despite you knowing and being active he didn't feel comfortable sharing his criminal activities with his girlfriend. He did not want to fucking scare you, he was so scared of you fearing him. All along it turns out, you really weren't scared of them. You weren't fucking scared of their crimes. In fact, it seemed like you wanted to be involved.

Why? He couldn't understand why you wanted to be involved, why you wanted to get your hands stained red just as theirs were. The men were fine with you working from home. All seven of the men were fine with providing for you and letting you presume any little hobby you had. Couldn't you learn how to bake or sew? For fucks sake, couldn't you take up fencing? Protesting would be pointless, it was clear the decision had already been made. Did Risotto want you to get killed? This was beyond fucked up.

"Are you going to punish her?" Prosciutto questioned, voice low as he turned towards Risotto. "She just admitted to killing someone without telling us. She probably forced Pesci into lying as well."

"I did not force him," you added in, "I begged." Illuso let out a sigh, shaking his head at you as he put his finger to his lips, indicating that maybe you needed to shut up. Melone and Prosciutto seemed very pissed off. They weren't keeping quiet about it like Ghiaccio was.

"The only reason I took her was because she shot two men dead in front of me. Her stand also stitched up my head that was busted open," Risotto spoke, his eyes on Prosciutto. "She can ride along with Illuso and Formaggio. She isn't riding along with you, so it isn't any of your concerns. My decision is final."

"Why?" Melone muttered. "Why are you doing this to us? I fucking love her Risotto! If she fucking dies out their then so help me God I will die too!" He snapped, causing you to snap your head towards him.

"Hey, stop being dramatic!" You snapped back at him, squinting your eyes at him. "If you do that, then I'll have to come back to life and die again."

Pesci suddenly raised his head, his eyes landing on you. A look of pure confusion was spread across his face as he stared at you. "What does that even mean!? You aren't making any sense!" He spoke in a panic, his words slightly jumbled. "I-I, goddammit! She didn't force me to lie! She just.. she.. she didn't get hurt! She knows how to kill!"

Ghiaccio wanted to speak up and side with Prosciutto, especially considering he wasn't on board with this. Today marks five months of you being on the team, and tonight, he planned on seeing if you wanted to take that final step. Aside from Melone giving him a few blowjobs and him pleasuring himself, he hadn't had sex in seven years. He was fucking nervous, and he wasn't going to fuck that up by siding with Prosciutto right in front of you.

"I'll be fine," you replied, brushing Pesci off with a simple shoulder shrug, causing him to just stare at you with a frantic look in his eyes. "You all should worry less. It's so annoying. How about you instead find a reason to be happy about this?" You just.. you weren't like anyone he's ever fucking met. You were.. something else, for fucks sake.

"Girl, you aren't helping your case," Formaggio snapped lightly at you, keeping his voice filled with an ounce of sweetness. "Illuso and I will train her and take good care of her."

Melone scoffed, his glare setting on Formaggio. "You and Illuso take terrible care of her. You'll get her killed!" Suddenly, his eyes set on you. "You'll come with Ghiaccio and I."

Before Ghiaccio could make a statement, you stepped forward. "I would much prefer Illuso and Formaggio."

"Are you fucking serious?" He questioned, his hands balling into tight fists. "Are you seriously going against me? I said you're teaming with Ghiaccio and I."

Pesci went to speak, but Illuso lightly smacked his arm, shaking his head. "Nah, Pesci, we can't get involved if these two fight," he heard Illuso whisper to Pesci. "We gotta stay the fuck out of this."

Ghiaccio silently agreed, stepping back slightly, keeping his eyes warily on Melone in case he did decide to hurt you. He wouldn't let you get hurt, but would Melone ever dare to hurt you? No, he was possessive and clingy, but in no way was he abusive towards you.

"I actually want to learn something. You'll hold me back. Illuso and Formaggio will actually train me," you replied, causing Melones jaw to instantly lock. Oh fuck, why in the hell did you fucking insult him like that? Ghiaccio wanted to put a muzzle over your goddamn mouth! "Look at the time, hm? Looks like I gotta go." You turned away, walking towards the front door.

"Melone isn't done speaking to you, girl," Prosciutto snapped, his glare resting on Risotto. "Can we please privately discuss this in your office?"

Risotto nodded once, "it won't change my decision." He stood up, giving you once last glance before he turned away, walking down the hallway. He had no footsteps. His steps were always so silent. Prosciutto followed, deciding to keep his eyes off of you, heavy footsteps stomping down the hall.

The sudden slam of Risottos office door caused Pesci to jump slightly, a shaky sigh escaping his lips. Despite the room being two less, the tension was still extremely thick, causing Ghiaccio to just want to grab you and leave.

"Nag nag nag," you muttered under your breath as you walked across the wooden floor, the door now inches away from your grasp.

Melone let out a low laugh, shaking his head. His laugh was unsettling, causing Ghiaccio to shift uncomfortably by the door. Goddamnit, why did he always act so fucking creepy? "That's fine.. it's fine to not listen to me. I'll see you Monday, I love you." The whites of his knuckles were showing, his teeth clinching together.

The look on your face was one of panic, only Ghiaccio being able to see your face. Ever so slightly, his head tilted to the side as he watched the panic leave your face as you turned around, you forcing your face to go blank. Hm.. did Melone scare you? He should watch the two of you more. "Well, I can go with you some days." Formaggio snorted, causing you to glare at him.

"What?" He questioned, a grin appearing on his lips. "Don't be spineless. Are you going to let Melone walk all over you? Looks like you are our little girl, hm?" The words were harmless child's play, just Formaggio joking around with you as he always does, but it was clear his words pissed you off.

"Fuck you and Melone," you snapped suddenly, Melone instantly standing up. "I am in control of myself!"

Melone walked towards you slowly, his hands unballing, fingers slightly tucked in as he made his way towards you. "What is your fucking problem today? You don't act like this. This isn't how you act." As he stepped over to you, he got in your face, leaning down to meet you eye length. "Did I do something to you? Do I deserve your disrespect?"

"Do I deserve to be treated like a child?" You questioned back, staring up at him. The stiffness in your body was straight as a board, your eyes hard but close to breaking. When it came to defending yourself against the men, you did a good job, but Ghiaccio's never seen you have to defend yourself against Melone. Usually, he was doing whatever he could to please you, not getting in your face and expressing his disappointment with you.

"I see how you wanna be," muttered Melone, shaking his head. "You hate me for wanting to protect you? Fine. I'll just give you space. Since you fucking hate me all of a sudden. I guess I'm not strong enough to train you. I guess I'm not man enough for you." Despite the calmness in his voice, he could sense a deep anger behind each of his words.

"Melone, it isn't like -" you began, only to be cut off by the sound of him walking out the door, slamming the door shut behind him. You let out a huff, turning your attention towards Formaggio. "I didn't really mean fuck you."

"Nah, you're gonna fuck me," Formaggio replied, your eyes squinting as you crossed your arms over your chest. "Wait. No, I'm gonna fuck you. You don't get to do the fucking around here little lady."

Illuso snickered, smacking Pescis thigh. "Hey Pesci, do you fuck Y/N or does Y/N fuck you? Does she ride you?"

"Leave him alone," you snapped, shaking your head as you turned your attention towards Illuso. "He doesn't want to talk about sex. Talk to him about boats, not sex!"

Formaggio scoffed, followed up by an eye roll from Illuso. Ghiaccio was ready to fucking go, having to sit back here in silence as he always does grows very annoying. The men have no respect for his relationship with you due to the fact that he hasn't slept with you yet. Aside from Melone and Pesci, the other men would ignore him or brush them off when it came to matters concerning you. All that was about to change tonight.

"You're in trouble," Illuso spoke, a grin appearing on his lips. "He's never gotten onto you like that before. Looks like you might be getting in trouble when you see Melone again."

Ghiaccio almost wanted to laugh at how ridiculous that sounded. Despite Melone being very angry with you, he loved you too much to ever lay his hands on you. The most prized possession in Melones life was you. He wouldn't dare lay an improper hand on you. He just rolled his eyes, leaning down to pick back up your bag off the ground.

"Let's go Y/N," Ghiaccio snapped, grabbing the doorknob, yanking the front door open. "What's done is done. It can be discussed on Monday! We're all off this weekend so let's be fucking off!" The fact that they're still standing here annoyed him, he was ready to have you to himself.

"Bye guys," you muttered, walking out the front door, Ghiaccio following behind you. The nervousness he felt over tonight as well as the entirety of this weekend engulfed him, silence falling over him as he opened his passenger seat for you, guiding you into his car.

Fuck.. he hoped that he could please you. That he could make you cum and possibly lay on his chest afterwards so he could caress your cheek as you fell asleep in his arms. All he wanted was for you to like him suddenly, and he couldn't believe that. He couldn't believe that he was finding himself falling in love again. Goddamnit, this was so fucking terrifying. He waa really starting to want this to work so badly.

#tw threats #tw dark content #tw dirty talk #tw everything #ravenzeppeli #jojos bizarre adventure #jjba #la squadra #tw strong language #tw adult themes #tw language #la squadra claimed #tw mature #claimed la squadra #ravenzeppeli claimed #tw sex talk #tw sex mention

[bambinaamor]

Tbh i think your lack of apreciation for Claimed was the ultimsfe reason they left and deleted claimed. I lovd claimed just as much as you but that comment you made was rude af and you should of kept ya mouth shut. Saying in your post you don't care that raven zeppeli got work stolen. Yall shit on that poor girl or boy or them while saying you lovd claimed. I blame you and those assholes who subscribe to her and then cancel just to read work. All of their work saved my life and make me happy. And now because of mean ones like you it is gone and so are they so thanks. I trested and loved them like the real author they were SMH you're statement you made is just fuked up and sellfish I hope raen comes back and I hope they keep their stuff from you and your rude coments. Like yea you got bills and they do two and they got free time they wasted to write for unrateful ppl like you. I hope you're work get stolen to

Sorry for error spelling English not first language

I quite literally stated that I was stating my opinion plus I never saw the true reasoning behind the passion but then again being called ungrateful from people I quite literally don't care about seriously doesn't faze me it just let's me see how so many people have a lot of free time just to shit on others we all have problems I was just stating my opinion

#stating my opinion #bring back claimed #la squadra claimed #stupid people

[i2joots]

Claimed SideShots

Overprotective mode

Our Girl

Drunk Attack

Return of the Meeting Crasher

Meeting Time?

Not Us..

First "Breakup"

She Snapped

She Snapped Pt 2

Her Pain Is My Own

Her Pain Is My Own Pt 2

Her Pain Is My Own Pt 3

You're A Casualty

A Beautiful Sight

Overdue Conversation

Dirty Little Secret

She Wants Me

"Cutthroat Assassins"

The Hole It Left…

#La squadra claimed sideshots #claimed sideshots #Ravenzeppeli writing #Ravenzeppeli #Ravenzeppeli claimed

[testing-something5889]

la squadra thoughts -2-

thoughts on how the la squadra men work/ position on the team 

-Risotto Nero- Risotto is quite obviously the leader of the hit-man team. someone how i don’t think goes out on hits but rather stays back and does the large amount for paperwork, he is the one to hand out tasks and choose the man/ men that are best for suited.

when Risotto is actually needed to complete a task it is usually very important or to dangerous of the others. when on said tasks he is silent, getting as close as possible so that he doesn’t have to use his stand (headcanon that he would probably use a knife if it was just one person so that he can cover their mouth to not draw attention of passerby's). 

Risotto Nero works by himself 

-Sorbet-  a man of very few words, i really don’t think Sorbet has a stand or if he does i have no idea what it could be

i will say he is quite the weapons expert though so he will use anything he can get his hands on, Risotto is always trying to get to do a little more then he has the energy for 

works with Gelato the most or with Prosciutto and Pesci 

-Gelato- this is the man you want to get when you need answers from an unwilling person, someone that doesn’t have boundaries or a moral code. Gelato can and will torture someone for hours happily. Sorbet and him are usually put on tasks that need to be executed rather quickly. (think of a hit and run sorta)

Risotto doesn’t really like to send him with a hit list because he likes to rack up the numbers with whoever he see’s and he’ll kill innocent people just because it’s fun to him. 

Gelato is almost always paired with Sorbet but is more open to other team members.  

-Formaggio- the lazy type on the outside but he is just as mean as Illsuo. he is someone who doesnthe killing part for the job more often then not, he uses his stand very well because he comes up with out of the box thinking ways to use it, like with the car in the anime it can get kind of expensive sometimes 

much like Ghaiccio he is a heavy lifter for the team so that is his place in the said team he doesn’t do the banking, emails or training the newbies

Formaggio works well with anyone in the team because of his layed back persona, he is kind of fun to work with in a weird way.

-Illuso- the first step in any task start with either him or Melone. he is the one that Risotto will send to stake out the poor soul to gather info so that work will go more smoothly fro the team member that has to end the life.

Illuso is also not somebody that finish the job but he just starts it, because although his stand is great for stealth it’s not strong in the physical aspect (he likes to denies this)

doesn’t like to work with other members but does so anyway, anyone but Gelato and Melone. 

-Prosciutto-  we all saw the way that he is not afraid to use his stand on anyone and of coarse the gun in his breast pocket but that is pretty much it. is another one to do the last part of a hit because he is mostly claim and cool headed 

Prosciutto seems like someone that risotto can put under a lot of pressure and still make the right move so i think he is the one that would train the newbies like he was doing with Pesci when they died.

Prosciutto works with anyone that he has to but how they get along is another story.

    -Pesci- Pesci is the special  case on this team because he is the only one that Risotto will not send on anything by himself, i say this because will he is young and inexperience. he is pretty strong and capable but his nerves tend to get in the way.

he is paired with his half brother Prosciutto and helps him but using his strength to over power anyone that somehow get a little to close.

Pesci is paired with Prosciutto because almost every one else doesn’t like doing work with him (they will still hang out with him out side of work)

-Melone- Melones stand is a slow process he needs time. his stand is almost always used for surveillance because it keeps him away from the scene at a safe distance while getting the most information

the one to handle all the computer things as he has his creepy laptop at hand whenever necessary, so the online banking, a lot of the emails and the teams info cards

Melone never works by himself, so he is willing to work with everyone but Illuso. he doesn’t like Illuso... 

-Ghaiccio- Ghaiccio is the one i see as doing a lot of the heavy lifting for the team, he uses his stand in such a way that he is fast and about 99.9% successful. he is one of the team members that don’t do the info hall at the very start of a kill task, he is not quiet and he can’t really stay still long enough to get what the team needs. 

his place in the team also seems to do something with funds along with Melone

Ghaiccio also works alone for the most part as he doesn’t like doing hit tasks with others.

#la squadra #La Squadra di Esecuzione #Jojo Part 5 #jojo melone #jojo ghiaccio #jojo risotto #jojo prosciutto #jojo pesci #jojo sorbet #jojo gelato #jojo formaggio #jojo illuso

[industriallyinsecure]

If ur taking requests rn can you maybe do monster la squadra(or just one of the monster boys if u want) with an s/o that has albinism? Maybe hc format with a gender neutral reader?

That’s all :D

-🦋🌈 Anon !

Just a little footnote that after this ask I won’t do anything with specific appearances or details bc the LS boys will love you regardless of appearance and personality (: I was able to work it in this time (though I’m no expert on albinism so feel free to correct anything I got wrong and I’ll change it)

I went with the most non-humans this time because Formaggio, Illuso, Pesci, Sorbet, and Gelato have experiences with humans unlike the others

Risotto finds humans fascinating. He had no idea such a thing existed! He knew there were different colors, shapes, and sizes of humans, but he’s never met someone like you before! As an incorporeal amalgamation of darkness, he doesn’t really get out often. But he’s extremely interested to learn anything and everything about you. From things like melanin to nearsightedness, he doesn’t care, just tell him all about it! He’s a very attentive listener and has all the time in the world, but he also just likes to be in your presence. If too much light is let in his bedroom, he’ll block it out with his shadows if he needs to. If you need help going through the castle and can’t quite remember where you’re going, he will gladly lead you through the winding hallways and corridors to get you where you need to go. He likes it when you link your arm with his and lean against him. One thing he notices is that your hair is the same as his, which prompts the question of if he was an albino as well. You giggle and say no, his skin and eyes were healthily melanated, but his snowy white hair was very pretty.

You’re his ice human, he decides. Pale as snow, tiny as a snowflake (compared to him that is), and oh so cold. You almost get squished under his massive claws several times, leading him to assume his human form while he’s with you. He leads you around by your hand, grumbling under his breath about being more careful, but it’s more affectionate than anything. He’s especially fussy when you want to go outside, so more often than not you’re shielded from the sun by his large wings. Of course, he denies that he’s shielding you and says he’s just stretching his wings, but you know the truth. It’s his (self appointed) duty to keep you safe, even though you’ve made it through your life just fine without him. But it’s cute how he always fusses over you.

Melone is familiar with albinism, though very few naga have it. Most that do are hunted for supposed ‘magical properties’ they have, but Melone has always been skeptical of that claim. He does, however, think you are magical! Not because you’re a sorcerer or anything, he just thinks you’re really adorable. He’s very careful around you, always making sure to keep his tail out of the way so you don’t accidentally trip over it. There’s also a constant urge to keep you snug in his coils so he knows you won’t get hurt, but he has to suppress it constantly lest you start to hate him. It’s also unfortunate you can’t sunbathe with him, he wouldn’t want you to burn to a crisp! Lots of protective tonics are offered to you on the off chance that you would like to join him. To avoid you getting headaches in his lab, he only lights a few of the candles as to not irritate your already sensitive eyes. He’s very, very doting, offering to guide you around the seemingly endless hallways and grab things for you that you can’t quite find.

Prosciutto inspects every inch of you. In the subterranean world of his species, albinism is incredibly common. At first he thinks you’re lying about being human, mostly because he hasn’t met many. After affirming that yes you are indeed a human, he’s very interested to learn about you. Many subterranean races are very fair and un-pigmented as well, so he’s a bit familiar with some of the troubles you face. His first year on the surface was difficult because of the sun heavily impairing his vision, so he’s quick to buy you some special welding goggles to help. He also makes you lightweight clothes out of his silk to protect you from the sun without making you overheat. There’s always some form of arm on you at all times to gently steer you out of the way. He does take advantage of your vision impairment by sometimes setting your things out of your view so you have to ask him for them. One drawback of that is having you try to find it yourself and either bonking your head or getting caught in his web by accident. It sucks, because you’re often cooped up with him in the attic because of its low lighting. He just thinks it’s cute seeing you get caught, but he’ll never mention it.

#monster au #la squadra x reader #risotto nero x reader #risotto nero #risotto x reader #prosciutto x reader #ghiaccio x reader #la squadra di esecuzione #melone x reader #spider prosciutto #dragon ghia #naga melone #eldritch horror risotto