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thefluxqueen · 1 year

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HIIII :) here to ask about the abyss tell me about it please please please love this sort of thing :3

HAIIII welcome :) to preface this im normal i swear. anyway The Abyss is what i like ta call my Horrible Horrible Maze, i made it w/ the goal of making the worst possible experience in minecraft to torment my friends ^_^

I enjoy putting people in situations and studying them :D

On that note! everyone who runs the abyss (24 people at current count) I time and write a couple notes on them! the abyss is honestly half maze half personality test LMAO. at current moment the quickest time goes to @ghostpajamas with a baffling 03:24 (wild that he got out so quick, i win tho cause i haunt his dreams), and longest goes to the beloved @rendogdomesticated with 1:35:54 <3 special shout out ta my dearest @theoctagon tho wolff ur insane i love u. guy goes inta the abyss for fun and has like 10 pages and counting of insane person phsyical notes tryna map it out (hes reported that hes gone through the first one 60 times and the 2nd one 5 jesus chriiiistttt). the abyss is fond of Pilot :) also if wolff is the favourite than @potionofinstantdamage is the Least favourite, rude ass set the place on fire when he got stuck in there :( oof ouchie

Highlights from my notes include @quack-city running backwards and upon me asking Why, simply replied “what if there’s slenderman :(‘ ... cant argue w/ that! he also hadda stop mid run so we decided its funnier if he’s just stuck in there forever. @newtbeetle was in there for like an hour and would NOT shut up about Paul Dano the whole time which was a time (love u beebs. ur isnane). my two test runners are @kishdoodles and @officialgleamstar and they had about the same time but like Opposite reactions it was very funny, kish treated it like they were a streamer n kept a like constant chatter, and travvy was like DEAD silent the whole time n Intensely focused akjewkjr tbh outta all 24 runners trav’s been prob the most like, methotical bout it? LIKE I SAID personality test. i Love studying people.

In regards to its origins I came up w/ the idea back in like feb/march ish of this year and from start to finish it took me like 2 weeks ish i was on the Grind. u dont understnad how much black concrete this thing took. hell on earth,,, darkwoods has an economy/shopping district and i bought out like All the sand/gravel available akjwekjr the rest i hadda gather myself n God gravel sucks. also ive killed So Many Squids. the 2nd abyss was much easier ta gather supplies for cause i could ask for help w/ supplies n i kept the first one a Complete secret minus my test runners (i hadda bitch at SOMEONE while makin it or i wouldve died i think. speakin of the first abyss has a death count of 13 and the 2nd one has like, 5 or somefin? rlly shouldve writen that down akjwerjk those are Entirely me dying in the process of buildin them btw. its not a true Spain Build unless its mildly dangerous <3) The 2nd one also made me learn redstone, notably i specifically studied Tango’s decked out process vids from s7, tho i really only stole like two aspects of it n i couldnt even get one ta work properly LMAO

The second abyss took me like, wayy longer ta make, bout two months ish (i finished it like mid july). not necessarily in actual like, time spent building but cause in the process of makin it i had Two month long events i was in (Voiceteam in may and Art fight in july) so that distracted me a bit wkwnekeneie Im a bit more secretive bout the second abyss in general since not That many people have actually ran it compared ta the first n theres actually like, Things that can be spoiled in there <3 i like seein peep’s initial reactions its much more satisfying.

This didnt happen w/ everyone but i think a like, Core part of running the abyss is getting emotionally attached ta weird things. i wouldve said just torches until a few days ago when Tac (onea the rat server mods) ran it and claimed the stack of pumpkin pies i gave her as family. But Prior Ta That several people have had very intense emotions bout the redstone torches, whether love or hate or both, key example ft dog:

Also not everyone ive mentioned on this post is in darkwoods! ive got a server i world editted the abyss inta so non-server members can run it for fun and profit (more data for me) :) on that note ive been slowly infecting the rat gang server cause my friend’s in there alot n another friend of mine’s a mod so peeps in there’ve been runnin it lately :) shout out ta TalonMC for lettin me subject him ta the Horrors literally our first conversation, onea my more fun first impressions i’d say

In regards to lore the abyss is a parasitic entity that infects anyone who gets stuck in there n slowly compells them ta go build their own lmao. note that ive only called the second abyss the Second one and not Abyss 2, because its technically just The Abyss as well cause theres many of them i just made it second wowjdkenejd (a real example of this is Wolff gettin obsessed w/ the abyss n then goin n buildin his own build called the Tower :) very excited bout that) The Abyss has a weird like fucked up warlock bond w/ my goddess oc The Overseer :D Her design’s vaugely based off my irl friend @hotcollectionoftubs cause her creation The Hole on a creative world her n some other friends of mine are on was onea the main insperations for certain aspects of the abyss’ lore :D mainly the teal in the colour palette and the whole ‘the [hole/abyss] provides’ thing.

(my reference images for her and 3rd pic's art i commissioned from the Lovely @opuntie):

my darkwoods chara, Snake, is a whole nother bag entirely (basic gist is they’re a dimension traveler not by choice and darkwoods is the 3rd world theyve been in, their deal’s worth a whole post of its own lmao) i built the first abyss entirely unrelated ta my chara just as like, fun weird build ta torment my friends w/o yaknow? but then as i was buildin the 2nd one i was like hmmmmmm. alotta things could make sense if i made this one built by Snake. so their retirement arc on darkwoods turned inta even MORE trauma! wahoo! poor guy deserves a break,,, (he will not be getting one).

(pre abyss + post abyss. i gotta properly draw pre-darkwoods Snake at some point but this dudes changed Alot ill say that lmao. both crops from bigger pieces on my art blog @fluxydrawings)

Anyway thats basically it! ive got more details and things locked in my brain ill probably remember in like 2 days after postin this so theres a chance ill reblog this w/ extra shit later lmao, sides that tho the abyss is my babygirl n thank yall for showin interest ^_^

Memes n shit to end us off:

#Inbox #darkwoods smp #the abyss #t3rm1nus #anonymous #not puttin this under a read more. look upon my creation boy.#ive been writing this post for like. 2 days kjawekjrkwekj its like 1.1k words or some shit #i have So many thoughts bout the abyss at all times #also too lazy ta add ta the post more but im workin on a Secret Third Thing called The Coil that isnt an abyss but it IS the like. spiritua #l successor #the goddess of the coil is the Overseer's ex wife <3 for fun <3 #i should rlly like. add up the average time for the abyss cause theres a Lotta variety #shout outs ta my bestie Kelly for gettin the 2nd quickest time and fellow darkwoods member Fuzzy for gettin the 2nd longest time akjwekjrkj #spain speaks

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aro-ortega · 1 year

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18 for vanya and 22 for milo?

thanks for asking !

18 for vanya - what is their greatest fear ?

theres a couple things that contribute to their greatest fear, but it all revolves around the same thing so i think it all counts as one thing. i suppose the absolute worse case is that they fail and that the farm recaptures him. but even if he succeeds and is able to take down the farm like he wants to, he doesnt think that hes accomplishing this without sacrificing himself; he doesnt fear his own death but he fears what is left behind, that ricardo (and now chen) will have to learn to live without him again. but shes dealing with a new nightmare scenario so these fears might be irrelevant now ! but if this is her life now it does mean that her fear of failure has come true, bc theres no way he can accomplish his goals as of the retribution epilogue

22 for milo - how do they feel about their telepathy ? is it a gift ? a curse ?

little of a little of b. i always choose the "i love the break from my telepathy" option when playing as puppet neil in her runs. it can be useful, it gives them an advantage as a villain same as when she was a hero. but. i wonder how necessary her telepathy is to her. like obviously it is, bc it's necessary for the suit to have the rat king so that it can have the nanovaores which means yes telepathy is required they do need it she woukdnt want to be without it. but she does like the break from telepathy w puppet neil which means she is used to interacting with rosie + mortum without telepathy. and reading surface thoughts during a fight isnt useful against argent and she feels guilty about possessing her in the first place so avoids telepathy shenanigans against her and then she (argent) straight up tells them to keep that shit to herself. and ortega is ortega. so it's not like she needs it for her personal life or when acting as neil. so she just needs it as power if she didnt i think she would be pro getting rid her powers. or at least like neutral and willing to give it serious thought off it were a possibility, yanno ?

#vanya mikhailov #milo park #sidestep #ask game #fh #op #ask

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dullanyan · 4 months

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new year tradition of doing my year in review :}

gosh.

2023 um... well. i guess it wasnt the worst. it wasnt the best either.

i had a lot of ambitions for this year that weren't realized, for sure. tried to get a job, applied 2 some places... never heard anything back. wanted to get my license... also didnt happen. also, had a personal goal of mine get even further away...

but its ok. i'll get there.

maybe i wont get my license this year, or get a job, but i can do other things. in fact, in 2023 i tried new recipes, ate new foods, found new music, got closer to friends, made new ocs, wrote lore for flight rising dragons and built a circus in minecraft (that's still very much in progress). ive streamed more, ive finally started uploading more of my streams to youtube, and i even drew a little bit. also, i went to a museum by myself, and it was very fun. i went to the state fair and the zoo, and had a blast :}

this year was also my salad arc, where i ate salads finally. i really enjoy them!

new recipes of this year:

baked macaroni, okonomiyaki, marinated cube steak, chicken fettuccine alfredo, hot brown sandwich, baked sweet potato (its simple, but im counting it), and herbes de provence steak.

new foods i tried are shawarma, gnocchi, pierogi, kibbee, a bean burger, tteokbokki, glass noodles, mapo tofu, ramen egg, apricot jam, strawberry rhubarb jam, and the aforementioned okonomiyaki. yes, i wrote down all my dinners for fun this year :}

for next year, i'll just keep it simple so i dont feel sad looking back.

main resolution is to learn more recipes, using more seasoning. i got a spice rack with a bunch of spices and so i need to learn recipes for all of those.

stream more. even if theres technical issues or i feel anxious, power through it bc its ok. streaming is for fun. maybe one day if i got really lucky it could be a job, but that probably isnt going to happen. regardless, keep it up for fun because i enjoy it.

dont be afraid, and if i am, do it scared. stand up for yourself more. reduce those 'what ifs' and just try it.

stop worrying about being cold or getting sweaty and go for those walks in the park (unless its too miserable). get out more in general and stop being such a hermit.

despite all this, i need to also learn my limits and whats healthy for me. just try to stay healthy, work out more, eat good foods, etc.

i know not a lot will change for me, and that's ok. hopefully i can at least do little things that will help me make bigger, more positive changes later down the line.

let's all have a nice new year ♥

#this year in review #mawcie.txt

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klutcherov · 3 years

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:) ‣ chi @ fla ‣ 01.17.21

#patrick kane #chicago blackhawks #hawks #m #*#goal didnt count but at least theres this

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a-slut-for-smut · 3 years

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what are your top 10 relationships in aot?

Hmm very interesting question anon- thanks for asking! Idk if i can really rank them since i only have the one OTP, but i can certainly give my 2 cents on the most popular pairings, according to the interwebs.

2 things to keep in mind:

i dont hate/dislike any pairing. I dont care enough to waste energy doing so. I like what i like, other people like what they like- simple as that, i cant understand why its so hard for ppl to grasp this concept

You may be wondering about my recent tag usage because ive been tagging a lot of diff ships- mainly for my anti-SNK139 shitposts. Just had a wild idea that maybe- JUST MAYBE, we could all put aside our differences and just have a laugh at our shared misery. Because idk how any of us are supposed to be happy with this ending. I mean, upon reflection I see what Isayama was going for, but idk its just tough to swallow unlike Levi's fun juice. Which, in my opinion, should be taken as a compliment- the man set the bar so high with the previous arcs that our expectations were thru the roof despite a rushed final arc, and he just...missed the dunk? Anyway hot take, i know.

Ok i digress- to the ask, in no particular order:

Levihan

Cute ship, very fluffy. Who doesn't like best friends to lovers trope? And theres no denying they have mutual respect for each other, which is a huge kink of mine. Honestly, its hard for me to ship a pairing if it isn't evident. That said, does this pairing get my ovaries going? Eh, not particularly but i still likies

Erehisu

I was behind this ship mainly because i was sold on Eren's "Walter White" villain arc. What better catalyst for a dramatic change in character than if their child was involved? The idea that Eren went full Hitler because he got Historia preggers and wanted the child to grow up in a "free" world? What parent wouldnt sell their soul for that goal, given the world they live in? And Historia- grappling with the knowledge/morality of Eren's plan but for the sake of the child? Prime for character development. Not to mention all the blatant crumbs. But Isayama went NOPE.

Eremika

Oh boy. So, firstly, i would have readily accepted this ship if Isayama laid off the one-sidedness a bit. But he didnt. And while im sure there are instances that can be interpreted as mutual affection, i dont see how that excuses all the times Eren snapped at her/just generally annoyed with her attentions. Like, we dont know his POV at all until the very end which retroactively you can say, oh he didnt want to cause her future pain? But by then its too late for US. And in the end (im not clear on this tho/too lazy to check) was it ever made clear to Mikasa that he reciprocated her feelings? Im prob biased/self-projecting here, but I would NOT have stuck around on the off-chance that the dude is faking his disinterest?? Even if he did save my life and is my childhood friend! You dont owe someone love because of that, but because of how you mutually treat one another. Anyway i woulda taken the fucking hint and moved onto Levi's dick, i would never put up with that nonsense

Eruri

These 2 are bonded, to say the least. They hold each other in high regard and i love that about any ship. Good stuff.

Ereri

Doesn't do much in the ovary-dept for me relationship-wise, but man, this ship is popular for a reason. The fanart for this ship is TOP TIER

Yumihisu

Again, they regarded each other highly and theres no denying they deeply cared for one another. Sometimes love doesnt give a shit what genitals you happen to have, why cant ppl understand this? We all got hearts and souls, that counts for something??

Aruani

The energy for this ship is a little tepid for me. Maybe because her ass was stuck in a crystal 70% of the story, but i liked pre-crystal annie alot. If anything, i preferred her dynamic with Eren more, mainly because Eren respected her so much and she contributed a lot to his character growth in the first arc. Just my preferred dynamic for a ship. Also she kicked his ass so much i was beginning to think he was into it

Jeankasa

Dont mind it at all. I think it lacks a certain degree of intensity that i prefer in my ships, but theres def mutual respect there and im all for it.

Jeanpiku

Thought this was a cute ship that came to bloom in the later chapters. its intriguing dynamic- falling in love with the (former) enemy kind of way.

Rivamika

Uh. Where to start. Actually i wont because this post is long enough as is. Just peruse my blog if you're actually curious ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#thanks for the ask anon #replies #tagging because i dont know where anon is asking from?#i hope i dont regret tagging this

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theunconcernedembalmer · 3 years

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ok i got the aesvic out of my system now time to pick apart the letter n why i wont really be following aesops diary exactly here. literally no one asked but i wanted to get my thoughts down somewhere cos i have. a lot

just gonna put a quick rundown of aesops diary entry as a refresher (mostly for myself so i dont miss anything): he dreamt that he was helping jerry with what was probably a murder n was affirmed n he thinks its a sign congratulating him on carrying out his duty. over the years, he carries out his duties as an undertaker n comes to the manor looking for a “fresh start” aka what sounds like his first victim. according to aesop, said victim should be quiet, n potential victim number 1 is victor. something about badly needing him to become his “silent friend” n he mentions he’ll get to wick n the 2 other survivors in due time, but for now he’s very eager to start his “mission”.

im generally okay with the letter (i have seen so many fights over this aha) cos there is no surprise he wants to kill ppl (ppl who r fighting over this point. did u even read his deductions?? guy happily killed his mentor??). but i didnt quite like the fact that he still looks up to jerry (although. i guess thats valid i just. dont like it). i was also initially kind of confused about the real reason why he would want to kill ppl since as u progress through the letter it sounds less like he kills for duty (cos of the whole dream thing at the start) but more “because i want to :)”, which is an okayish edgy kinda take imo. like not that u cant characterize aesop as Kill Kill Murder Die, but i kinda find that. pretty boring in the long term.

im just gonna put what my original take on aesop was, like all of it. first off, he hates jerry. u cannot tell me a psychotic serial killer like that can raise a child without emotional trauma. like any child, this isnt even counting the extra damage done because hes autistic. (n i also hc that aesop has read his moms letter to him at some point, n he should have come to the conclusion that it was somewhat also jerrys fault, whether through logic or denial that his mom would want to leave him, so that just adds to it.) but as much as he hates him, his teachings are the only ones hes been exposed to, n its been so ingrained in him since young so even if he hates jerry he would still subscribe to whatever twisted ideology jerry was feeding him, which ill get to in a sec.

going through his accessories, he has that origami that he folds for each of his clients, n it shows that underneath it all, aesop is still kind. this isnt expected of him n its definitely not part of his job scope as an embalmer. he (still?) has the heart to wish the best for those that have departed n takes the time n effort to fold one for each n every client he sends off, which is probably a lot. so going off on that, my hc is that jerry, being the manipulative asshole that he is (who probably definitely manipulated his mom into indirect suicide) probably used his kindness against him to make him believe that by murdering ppl he is helping them, framing all of his serial kills as a sort of mercy kill (like his mom). so the thing that aesop takes away from all this is the very twisted logic that by killing ppl he is helping them, therefore being a good embalmer and a good person in general. n everyone wants to be a sort of good person, or at least for aesop that is part of his job description to be a good embalmer. n we all know aesop is very serious about his job.

i also hc that he has killed several ppl between killing jerry n coming to the manor, cos i follow the story that he took the invitation from that poor lady n thats how he ended up at the manor. surely the lady didnt come to him right after jerry died?? but anyway, the way i see it is that he thought he liked to kill. like he finally truly understood why jerry kills so much (which is interesting now that i think about it. guy really just went along with all those murders without truly believing huh), because it felt good to kill. at least thats what he thought, the revelation that killing felt good n is good, but i say its because he hated jerry, n offing someone u kinda hate should probably feel pretty gucci. n its also so much easier to pick clients off the streets than in the manor, so i would think that he has killed ppl like his mentor did, but each time he did the great feeling that came with ending ppls life just. wasnt as good as the first time round. it just became a sort of normal satisfaction of a successful embalming.

this can go two ways: 1. he keeps on killing to try to find that great feeling again, which is cool i guess (n probably what canon would want, except canon states that he hasnt killed since jerry), but id like to go with 2. he just stops because jerry isnt around to enforce it whenever he isnt feeling up to psychoing someone to their death (which is probably how jerry got his victims, n damn if that doesnt take a lot of mind games that i dont think aesop has the mental capacity for since half of it is fighting with his social anxiety n other issues. dealing with alive strangers?? no thanks?? i doubt he would have learnt properly how to lure in clients as efficiently as jerry because of this, mostly cos he was only needed for the murder afterparty aka embalming n funerals). n as much as he stays professional, there is no. professional way of gaslighting someone to their death.

(n also since ppl have pointed out that his twitter replies n other kinda informal stuff have shown that aesop does have reverent respect for life, which also adds to him not being so blindly bloodthirsty as implied in the letter. i dont really see the twitter replies as very canon, but it does make sense that he would come to revere life with his unique take and obsession over death, for one cannot exist without the other)

so this leads me to the motive that aesop brings to the manor, at least how i see it. he isnt exactly coming to the manor to kill per se (like from the very early story, he came to the manor to return the letter to a relative of the deceased lady, something about respecting her last wishes. something like that, its really been a while since i saw that exerpt), so like killing ppl isnt his main purpose of visit. its more of hes always on the lookout for weaker (or at least those that take less mind games to kill) people to mercy kill, n it just so happens that he knows the manor n his mentor almost died from there, so theres a pretty good chance he can find some ppl that fall into this category n so it just so happens that he also has a job to do there. its still counted as a Job for him since no ones gonna tell him that embalmers dont actually. murder.

so in my version, aesop only tries to sway ppl that he knows he can convince, n these ppl would typically be those very sickly ones like his mom (andrew im looking at u) or those with an actual death wish/ very weak will to live. but here aesop is choosing his “first victim”, and the criteria for that is... quiet? never mind “not evading him” and “not cranky” being on the list too, but that isnt quite what i was expecting from someone so dedicated to their duty of murder. sure he wants an easy first kill, but like. i dont think its consistent if his motive was really to continue jerrys bastard legacy. especially when the next paragraph is essentially him gushing over victor, that... sort of implies something else. or at least in the way i see it, since i believe that canon wants us to think that aesop just really loves to kill.

aesop likes victor. very much so. so much till he wants to kill him. which i guess makes sense cos he likes death, n now he likes victor. so he just. puts the two things he likes together. whats better than victor? dead victor. anyway the rest of the letter is more like “whatever, i technically should kill the others too but my priority is victor” so like. he confuses his (dare i say) yandere tendencies with his duty since the end goal for both is a body in a coffin.

having said that. i know i have aesvic brainrot but i also know this is one sided as hell (at least from the letter alone, not counting the letter shaped cookies in his birthday art that apparently belonged to victors birthday cake aha) n lowkey alarming since. the goal is to kill victor. i kinda want to interpret it as him genuinely wanting to be friends with victor (really wanting him to be a “silent friend”, maybe cos he doesnt actually know how to be friends with living ppl n is better with dead ones? therefore victor should be dead to be friends?) but not knowing how to n throwing in his obsession with death ends up with. this minor disaster waiting to happen. but i uh. dont know if this is valid. its valid to me at least, with my original interpretation of aesop. n again cos of his ingrained professionalism, he also kinda sees this as part of his job to send ppl off, so its another plus. not for victor, tho.

idk if ill add this yandere side in my aesop. i mean my boi has technically tried to kill victor multiple times in the past HAHAHAHA. maybe like sometimes he can be a bit obsessive. as a treat. but generally nah cos thats definitely gonna end up in a murder somewhere somehow n i cant. just kill victors here on the ask blog scene lashjflkjhdlfkjhas

so yeah that kinda takes care of the last part of the letter, as for the first part. as much as aesop hates jerry, i would also think hes pretty starved for affirmation (like i said jerry isnt going to be a good parent figure ever) n i guess it makes sense if the only times jerry has ever complimented him was aiding him in his kills n hiding the evidence, which might (?) add to his desire to kill (but that probably dies with jerry aha). so the way i see it as aesop is getting affirmation n takes it as a good sign instead of. remotely liking jerry. idk if im stretching it a little but i really dont like the take where hes okay with jerry. anyway we are ignoring that he hasnt killed before entering the manor cos that doesnt quite make sense to me (i wasnt dreaming about the letter from a lady stabbed in the face 36 times or so right???? right???????)

im also not like. trying to defend him, im just trying to make sense of his diary. boi has issues n is a little too far gone (not as far as canon tho), in my take very deluded in his way of showing kindness. literally cool motive still murder (or in canon, just murder?), please get therapy. but i just dont really like the direction that the letter was originally trying to imply, with him really just hell bent on murder without like. a clear motive (at least to me it isnt very clear since the last part really doesnt sound consistent with his supposed intentions). i mean i love being edgy with aesop every now n then but i dont think it would make for meaningful characterizations in the long run so. ill still be sticking with my original take on aesop with maybe a bit of yandere for victor cos thats always fun

#unconcerned ramblings #mun rambles #its me the mun #im so sorry i talk so much. i was like Okay i should stop talking on my blog now. n then i didnt #i dont even know if this makes sense im still sleep deprived n tired as hell but i literally cant sleep cos this was bothering me so much #also cos i see a lot of ppl like. just nope the letter n somehow began to hate aesop after loving him as a character for so long. which is #interesting. cos this letter isnt exactly out of the blue. we been knew #just a few minor things that i disagree with. but generally i think it was an okay letter

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wickedpact · 3 years

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I saw someone comment that if nicky and joe actually had a speed-run version of a romance it wouldn't be much better than rey/kylo (ie: nicky's redemption should be a *process* and not a single act; it'd take more than just "i'm switching sides and fighting with you" for joe to truly forgive him... which is ENTIRELY reasonable/understandable) - do you think the comparison is fair? (I mean, Nicky wasn't a space nazi but he WAS an indoctrinated religious radical)

well..... no, for a variety of reasons (allow me to say beforehand that i dont really... hate r*ylo or r*ylo in general but im.. hm, not a fan of the ship or the sequel trilogy)

edit: i am actually going to put this under a cut bc its longer than i thought it was when i wrote it

first of all i think theres something to be said abt the fact that ben (im just gonna call him ben so this post doesnt come up in search) is a space nazi. hes part of a fictional group of people who oppress a different fictional group of people, despite having some inspiration taken from rl. nicky was part of an invasion force that existed in real history, a part of a war that has had far-reaching effects in the real world to this day. as much as nicolo himself is fictional, neither the crusades nor the ideologies that had a part in fueling them are. so it feels a bit crass to compare the two.

(also like.. man, the sith blew up two (three?) planets. thats like several billion people each, how are you supposed to compare almost cartoonish villainy like that to real life?)

secondly ben had like... presumably more power over the situation than nicky did, idk what the situation is for ben’s backstory in canon terms rn, (its been more or less retconned a couple times i believe), but ben was the child of two powerful and privileged people and likely received all the education in the world on why Murder And Fascism Bad.

he was like? supposedly groomed by snoke, but what does that even mean? anakin went to the dark side bc he valued the life of his wife more than the lives of all the jedi. simple as that. he was manipulated but he still willingly assisted in a genocide to achieve his own personal goals, how can you just step back and say ‘ben was manipulated into it its not his fault’ when he no doubt knew better that Blowing Up Planets Bad. but then even on top of that.. .we dont really know nicky’s exact situation prior to the crusades which brings me to the next point,

what we know abt nicky’s mindset in the crusades era:

greg said once that ‘it was a time of religious hatred’ which is. vague.

one of the promo vids said nicky was ‘ a young knight who had left the priesthood behind to follow the crusade ‘ which is.. vague

nicky himself said ‘he was taught to hate’ joe’s ‘people’ which is... vague

the comics shows a dialogue-less couple of panels of joe and nicky killing each other which is..................... vague

we really dont know that much about nicky’s situation other than he was ‘taught to hate’, which is how all hatred works, hatred isnt a biologically ingrained behavior, its always taught. ‘taught to hate’ can mean everything from someone slapping him on the back one day and going ‘hey those muslims suck’ to full ass brainwashing, who tf knows. we can only guess based off historical information, and tog has proven itself to not be historically accurate several times over now. so you really cant compare nicky’s mindset to ben’s bc we dont know what nicky’s mindset was.

but even then theres a difference between ‘i was taught incorrect information and i formerly believed i was doing a good thing and i now am beginning to realize that i am not’ and ‘ive been knowingly evil (literally red lightsaber and all) for literal years but ive just decided to change my mind bc i had a vision of my father (whomst i murdered) asking me to be good again’

(i mean come on, ben was actively resisting his good impulses. ‘forgive me i feel the pull to the light again’. )

lastly i also dont think thats fair to tog bc i wouldnt count r*ylo as a ‘speedrun’. it was set up in tlj, the problem with r*ylo is that it was bounced between two directors who not only had different visions for the franchise, but conflicting visions for the franchise and? seemingly they didnt collaborate at all. so if it feels like ben and rey were ping pong-ing back and forth between being enemies and borderline-lovers, its bc they were created by two men with completely different ideas of what the relationship looked like + they were at the mercy of a company which has pretty singlemindedly dedicated itself to lowest-common-denominator media that offends Nobody and thus tried to pass them off as pseudo-canon so neither the shippers nor the antis would get Mad. tog doesnt have these problems.

i think the idea of joe and nicky blinking once at each other and just immediately falling in love is, while fun and hilarious, a bit silly realistically bc thats generally not how feelings Work (I Dont Believe In Love At First Sight). going on a 24hr murder-bender and immediately going ‘oh wait im actually in love with this person who just brutally murdered me’ isnt comparable to two people who have a couple hours’ worth of content focused around essentially being inside of eachother’s brains and learning why the other Is The Way They Are. r*ylo didnt come out of nowhere, it was lead up to (just really poorly)

realistically, i think joe and nicky would like. at least have to get to know each other a little before they could convincingly fall in love imo, but theres rlly nothing comparable there with ben and rey to me

#Anonymous #so dont get me STarted on the subject that when nicky goes thru his redemption arc or whatever you like to call it #the endgoal Should Not Be joe's forgiveness and as a matter of fact joe has no right *to* 'forgive' nicky for what hes done #forgiveness shouldnt be the endgoal at all its literally unachievable #something something the catholic ideas of atonement and penance are unhealthy and unrealistic af when it comes to most kinds of wrongdoing #but honestly either way i think joe would forgive nicky pretty quickly considering his reaction to booker

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neworleansspecial · 3 years

Text

Accidents Happen (The Med Groupchat)

Part Eight - Previous Parts and this one available on AO3

crickett: it was an accident i swear i didnt mean to i didnt

Nat: @Ethan Choi @connor can one of you take his phone

connor: he’s nonverbal rn

Bekker: Has anyone heard what happened?

Dr. Lanik: According to the paramedics, Crockett’s car was stationary. They were sitting inside, not driving, because it was cold. They were eating and smoking when a drunk driver hit them from behind. They were near the cliff side, so their car fell about ten feet before getting caught on the rocks and first responders rescued them.

Dr. Lanik: Crockett has a moderate head injury and some scrapes and bruises. Maggie is stable with an open fracture of the radius, closed rib fractures. Sarah has broken glass injuries and a shoulder dislocation. Elsa is the worst off with a head injury we’re still controlling the bleeding of, a partial pneumothorax.

crickett: didnt mean to

connor: he’s being evaluated for shock right now. it doesn’t help that he’s still high.

Bekker: Sarah too. It’s making her calm at least.

Ethan Choi: He’s probably never going to smoke again

FreeWilly: is that really what ur worried about

Ethan Choi: That’s not what I meant

crickett: didnt see the car

Bekker: We know, honey. It’s not your fault.

no-ah: is everyone going to be okay?

April: Physically, it looks like it. Elsa is in a rough place but I’m sure she’ll be fine.

Crockett: didnt see the car i didnt mean to

Crockett: was driving

Crockett: foot on the brake

Crockett: no i was

Crockett: accident

Other Bekker: my hands have been released from prison

Bekker: (plastics pulling the glass out of them and bandaging/stitching where necessary)

no-ah: do you remember what happened?

Other Bekker: most of it

Other Bekker: its not @crickett’s fault

Other Bekker: the other driver had a 0.13 BAC on the scene, and crockett wasn’t even driving. he wouldn’t until he sobered up a little

Ethan Choi: I called his outpatient center and they suggested returning to inpatient for a few days for his safety while he processes this.

Other Bekker: is that what crockett wants

Ethan Choi: It’s what he needs

Other Bekker :/

Dr. Lanik: Elsa is awake!

Nat: That’s good! How is she?

Dr. Lanik: A bit disoriented, but that’s to be expected. Her waking up is a really good sign. The chest tube is in place and we have her on supportive care.

April: I’m glad everyone will be okay

no-ah: and hows mags

Maggie<3: I’m okay, they’re taking me to surgery

no-ah: good luck !

crickett: iwanndhohiewnalredyitguers

Nat: ???

FreeWilly: I speak high he wants to go home and hes in pain

Nat: That raises more questions than it answers

Ethan Choi: What hurts?

Dr. Lanik: I’ll come give him another checkup, see if I can’t figure out what’s going on

connor: probably a headache from the head injury

Dr. Lanik: Probably but better safe than sorry. I’d rather rule out anything else.

Dr. Marcel: head

Dr. Marcel: like gyutar

Dr. Marcel: sleep?

April: Good morning everyone, how are you all feeling?

Queen Elsa: Like I got hit by a bus <3

Other Bekker: it was a four door sedan actually

Queen Elsa: That’s not helpful

Other Bekker: :)

Maggie<3: I’m doing good, just sore.

Ethan Choi: I took Crockett to his hospital today, he’s inpatient for five days, longer if he’s a threat to himself or his sobriety

Other Bekker: hot take but did he agree

Dr. Lanik: We spend so much time talking about Crockett

FreeWilly: theres always something to talk about with him you know

Bekker: on another note, we’re hosting a movie party next week if anyone’s interested. Kid friendly for our daughter. Disney movies, no alcohol, lots of food.

Queen Elsa: I’ll be there! I love disney

Queen Elsa: If I’m out of the hospital

April: You probably will be @QueenElsa

connor: @OtherBekker Crockett didn’t want to go at first but he eventually agreed it was best. he’s allowed to have his phone and if he passes three evals in a row, he can check out. he failed this morning’s eval obviously

no-ah: i worry about him

connor: don’t, besides, he wouldn’t like that

Queen Elsa: how ever will we be stuffed with his home cooking? /s

Dr. Lanik: What’s /s

Queen Elsa: It means I’m being sarcastic or making a joke, since tone doesn’t always come over text

Dr. Lanik: That’s such a good idea?

Queen Elsa: It really is, and it’s really helpful for neurodivergent and anxious people, like me.

Other Bekker: solidarity

Dr. Lanik: What’s neurodivergent?

Queen Elsa: It describes someone who has an “abnormal” (I don’t think that’s the best word?) development or brain function. Basically it just means that your brain doesn’t function the same way as most people. I’m neurodivergent because I’m autistic.

Other Bekker: me too because I have ADHD. and Crockett.

Dr. Lanik: Oh. I’m neurodivergent.

Other Bekker: neurodivergent squad

crickett: adhd/ocd babey

Bekker: Does OCD count?

Queen Elsa: Depends who you ask but most people say yes

Nat: I’ve literally never heard of this

crickett: point and laugh it’s a nt

Queen Elsa: (NT means neurotypical, which is someone who isn’t neurodivergent)

Queen Elsa: That’s not very nice Crockett.

crickett: natalie isn’t very nice to me about being nd so

Dr. Lanik: Oh?

connor: to be fair Nat you’re kinda rude about stuff that’s out of people’s control

Nat: Why am I being attacked right now?

Other Bekker: you’re not lmao

Dr. Lanik: Let’s all take a deep breath and calm down.

FreeWilly: That’s a yikes from me

Maggie<3: I’ve never heard of that stuff, thank you Elsa.

Queen Elsa: No problem. I have some good websites for reading if anyone cares.

Dr. Lanik: DM them to me please

no-ah: I think I might be neurodivergent

crickett: squad goals

Other Bekker: never met a neurotypical friend group, always most of ems got to be divergent

Dr. Lanik: Thank you, I didn’t know that there’s a whole… community, if that makes sense?

Elsa Curry: Yeah no problem. I didn’t know until I was in college, and I joined a club for Autistic people like me. It’s really nice to talk to people who understand what it’s like and have shared experience.

Dr. Lanik: Are there organizations like that for adults? As in, ones for people like me?

Elsa Curry: Probably! You can look it up online and I’ll keep an eye out for something you might like.

Dr. Lanik: Thank you.

#chicago med #james lanik #crockett marcel #ethan choi #connor rhodes #will halstead #natalie manning #maggie lockwood #april sexton #noah sexton #elsa curry #emwrite #medgroupchat #userdee

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mollydollyjournals · 3 years

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I got a message reminding me about an event that's happening next month that I forgot about. Where there'll be photos and I'll have to wear something nice. As it is I just about managed to go see a couple of close friends where I could wear my usual oversized stuff, and I was still massively insecure. I dont want to say I'll lose weight by then because I've been wanting to for so long but I keep fucking up and my mental state is just overall getting worse so why should I believe this time will be different? And I'm scared I'll have to go and be seen and decide whether to be in the photos and freak out later or make a big deal and ask not to be in them and then also feel like I'm missing out.

I did write out a schedule using a particular daily calorie count and a rough amount of exercise, with pigly. That says if I stick to it perfectly and my body responds perfectly then I could lose about 10lbs by then. But that's never going to be how it works. I'll be too exhausted to work out, drink, binge, my metabolism will just slow down. Even if by some miracle I did lose the weight, it's nowhere near a point where I can feel comfortable being seen in person let alone on camera again.

I'm a little overwhelmed thinking about it. I was already feeling shitty again today because my mind is going over the same 'everyone hates me/I'm gross/ugly/everyone will leave/i hate myself/etc' and I need to try to stay distracted from that because I was getting that strong urge to drink again. But now I'm freaking out about my weight for this event too. I get so stuck in the self hatred spiral i dont know how to deal with it except drink or SH but those things make it worse, or drinking does at least and SH will just be awkward if anyone sees that its fresh, and if I want to fix my body both for looks and health then I have to not drink when I feel like this, and just fuck everything. Fuck everything in my head.

Fuck my weight for being so much higher today than yesterday. I'm practically screaming at myself that there are reasons I could be holding more water weight than yesterday, but 1.4lbs?? When I feel like this? Kinda didnt need that. I never usually fluctuate that much and it's making me feel worse. It's making me feel like today is do or die. Even though there are legit reasons for me to be even more exhausted than usual and holding water, I feel like I should get up and do a workout and I have to make extra sure I dont binge because i have to be 155lbs by tomorrow and theres only one way to make that happen. But I also know my head hurts like fuck and I cant quite stand up straight I'm so tired, and theres no way a workout would be a good idea today. But then how do I deal with not being able to reach that goal, that tiny goal, especially knowing that it's the best chance I have for being able to have any kind of confidence in myself?

I cant continue like this. It affects everything. I need to have a body that I feel okay in. I need to fix my weight gain. But every time an event or something like this comes up, sure its motivation, but it's also absolutely terrifying because theres no way I'll succeed and then I'm just still gonna have to be there and be seen and I'm so bad at these spirals. I need some other way to deal with it and I've tried so long to do it by myself but I know for a fact I spiral so fast when I have no support and that's exactly how it is and how it will be and I'm just still really lost and I just want to be okay

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ssunsxt · 4 years

Note

Could you do eqg villians scale please? Maybe with such criteria as design, motivation, charisma etc...which ones are poorly written in your opinion? Perhaps some villains got the redemtion arc undeservedly? What do you think?

WHEW THANK GOD OKAY. This is going to be LONG so I’ll put it in a read more. TLDR at the end.

EVERYONE saw this coming but-- Wallflower Blush is the WORST villain in terms of.... the entire criteria you want me to rate them on.

Her design is bland and boring, which I understand is the point bc she’s supposed to blend into the background and not stand out (which I mean, arguably gets her some points for the fact her design works for what it was intended for), but she’s just.... so boring to look at.

Motivation was HORSE shit. I’ve talked about this from heaven to earth and back again. @mlprarepairartsies made a really good post about her motivations which you can find here. I just think she’s selfish and likes to blame others. I definitely don’t think she deserved the “redemption” she got considering she didn’t really apologise for what she put Sunset through. Like, yes okay maybe she apologised for using the stone but like........ you tore away all of Sunset’s hard work, forcing her to be and feel completely alone despite all of the hardships she had already faced and the countless times she put herself in danger to save the school. She completely disregarded all of the good Sunset did because she didn’t reach out to HER specifically? Bitch I’ll floor it

----

Juniper Montage isn’t the best villain, but she’s still better and (arguably) more justified than Wallflower. Her motivations were shallow-- but at least she saw the GROUP at fault for what happened to her.

Her design is cute. I really loved her little film-reel hair ties! They were so cute. I also really love her personality. She has a little bit of attitude, which is something I REALLY love in a character. Even before the girls got her fired, she still had her attitude when talking about how her uncle wouldn’t give her a chance at the role she wanted. Not even at her uncle though! Just the situation as a whole. It shows she clearly has things she wants and gets mad when things don’t work out for her.

Her apology seemed genuine too. She’s genuinely just.... a girl who finds it hard to make friends and thought that in order to make friends she had to be able to impress them-- and what better way than through fame? What makes her endearing is that she felt like she didn’t deserve forgiveness after what she’d done, too! She genuinely did feel guilty about everything!

She was just really fun to watch.

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Vignette McFucking Valencia. THIS bitch.

In terms of her design? I think she’s probably the most aesthetic-- but that’s the whole point, isnt it? So that gives her more points

she’s just a CLASS A dumbass and honestly I think its really brave how she didnt even give a shit about being called out ayusdifhjkndf she was just consistently an asshole and didn’t give a shit. she didn’t really get a redemption which I really liked because it wouldn’t really have made sense with her personality for her to just be like “damn... youre right”

she’s a narcissist and I’m here for it. she’s not a likeable character, which is why I love her so much as a villain because..... theres people just like her in the real world

------

SPEAKING OF PEOPLE JUST LIKE HER IN THE REAL WORLD

Cinch. What a fucking asshole. What a great villain. A person in a position of power who uses her influence to blackmail and manipulate people into doing what she wants. How absolutely mouthwatering is that as a villain trope.

Her design just radiates big bitch energy. It really fits with her personality. She just LOOKS like an asshole.

She was an asshole through and through, too !! She didn’t get a redemption! She even LOST her position of power!! So thats MAD s*xy

She’s the kind of villain that you see on the screen and you just yell BOO, so I think she does her job very well

(also im not gonna count Twilight as a villain bc... she was LITERALLY the victim of this movie)

-------

okay so the top 3!!!

GLORIOSA. DAISY.

Her design is so pretty. She looks like someone I could have a cup of hot cocoa with. Someone I can trust.

Her motivation was really noble, honestly. She just wanted to save the camp she was raised on. One of the last things she has left of her parents. How the hell can you fault her for that?

From the little glimpse of the real her you see outside of her “camp counsellor” act, she just seems like a really chilled out and normal person. She puts others first, works hard to ensure peoples happiness, and she just allowed magic to take advantage of her weakness (her desperation to save her camp) and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that! She’s a character you can sympathise and empathise with. Someone who was in a bad situation and just wanted so desperately to fix it without stressing out her younger brother. She didn’t want to make him worry (which she did in the end but she tried her best!!!)

I just really love Gloriosa and I don’t talk about her enough

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bada bing bada boom everyone saw this coming. THE DAZZLINGS.

Look. They do evil well. They had one goal and they stuck to it. They wanted power and at the first opportunity they got? They JUMPED on it. The DEDICATION. Was their motivation dumb? Not really. They’re evil and “wanting to take over the world” seems pretty evil to me?

Their designs are really nice (except aria what the FUCK are you wearing sweetie). They’re so fucking charismatic that I’m actually MAD they lost the battle of the bands!! Recount the votes!!! they deserved the win !!!

on top of that, they had literally the best soundtrack for their movie.

They each have such distinct personalities and their dynamic with each other as well as how they interact with other characters and the world around them is just..... so entertaining to watch. Adagio is snarky as hell and sarcasm drips off of her. Aria is just this loser who likes fashion and has an attitude. I can vibe. Sonata is just.... Sonata. I needn’t say more. Absolute dumbasses are my type.

Even after they lose their powers they just... decided they actually really liked singing. And even then, they still have a fucking attitude!! They didn’t thank sunset and the girls for “opening their eyes” to life without magic or thank them for making them think introspectively. They literally tell sunset to get a life and drive off in a fucking van. That’s SO funny. Literally no other villain is doing it like them.

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idk if this is a shock but... Sunset Shimmer is my favorite EQG villain.

Her goal was power, but to me, I don’t think it was power that she ever really wanted. She just wanted to prove to Celestia that she was great and wanted Celestia to appreciate her for the talent she had. She just wanted to feel wanted and appreciated.

She was ambitious and selfish, self-serving and mean, yes! She was! But she always knew what to do to achieve her goals. She was manipulative, and so so smart with how she went about things. The students and even the teachers were fully aware of the kind of person Sunset was, but still she “ruled the school”. The POWER she has.

She’s just so very... human, and I think that’s ultimately why I love Sunset so much. She finds out the one person she wanted validation from the most actually replaced her-- took her destiny from her. Of course she’d be hurt! Of course she’d feel even worse about herself. All she cared about was Celestia and Celestia’s validation, and to Sunset, wouldn’t it appear that the princess-- someone she has spent every moment of her life thinking about-- didn’t even spare her a second thought? Imagine how that would feel

She bluffs, and lies, and does all she can to keep up this facade of unshakeable confidence; but in all actually, Sunset is just so insecure. She thinks so little of herself. And despite all of her hardwork, she’s still defeated. She’s proven that there are things more powerful than ambition and talent. And the first opportunity she receives in order to right her wrongs? She takes it. She jumps on every chance she gets to be a better person. She works hard to be better and do better.

And that’s what makes her such a likeable character; because even after she’s redeemed, her personality doesn’t completely change. She’s just using that energy towards other things-- better things. And it pays off for her.

You love watching her grow into the person she is at the end of the show. Seeing her grow into herself without worrying about impressing others or proving herself. You just feel so proud of how far she’s come. That’s what makes her such a good villain.

-------

so this was LONG as hell but TLDR;

The scale (from worst to best) goes Wallflower —> Juniper —> Vignette —> Cinch —> Gloriosa —> The dazzlings —> Sunset

#equestria girls #eqg #mlp eqg #mlp #ask tag #anon ask #villain scale

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zackfiar-a · 4 years

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hello class! today we’re going to learn about growth and the process of healing via zack fair

when zack entered SOLDIER he had bright eyes of optimism whilst having one goal and a dream in mind: to become SOLDIER 1st class and to become a hero just like sephiroth. however the longer he stayed in SOLDIER, the more he realized that hey ..... something isnt Right here. one of those that you cant have emotions attached to missions or the ppl that ur fighting against, that its just a reliability. thats not something he agreed with because he purely focuses with his emotions, whether it could be his downfall or not. he feels immensely, whether its anger towards himself or sympathy; something so trivial as emotions will jeopardize the mission (ie a mission to go search for angeal).

and unfortunately, being as young and impressionable as he was, it was very easy for him to be manipulated by his higher ups (because of his intense enthusiasm and wanting to please his superiors) and not be able to form opinions of his own, lest they get tested and make himself doubt his loyalty to shinra. which is why he had no problem with going to wutai and trying to overtake fort tamblin, he was told wutai is the enemy of shinra. they’re the bad guys, without ever being told the reason why. like why did shinra name wutai as their enemy? why are they going at war with them?

his perception was warped by the toxic ideals and goals that shinra and SOLDIER had, even though his guy he knew it was wrong and that he should question those of higher power than him.

it also took too long to realize that shinra, at the face, is a company and state helps the people and protect midgar from terrorists and others that dare face against shinra. that underneath, they were making monsters with an ancient alien that landed on earth years and years ago. he doesnt know why; doesnt know anything about the ‘promised land’ theyre searching for. he doesnt know anything about their goals of creating beings from jenova, g, and s - cells. the fact of the matter is, theyre stealing away innocent people just so shinra can experiment on them (and they all worked for shinra ie SOLDIER 3rd and 2nd class when genesis took them with him; probably others than he cant imagine).

being hit with the information that genesis is degrading from the g - cells and angeal being born from the result of experimentation from gillian, the clouds started to fade away from his eyes and hes actually surprised that the ppl that know this are okay with it. like it was common knowledge, which it wasnt! he didnt know anything about this! the fact that angeal knew about this and didnt tell him, he felt hurt and betrayed. he was blindly following in his footsteps of embracing your SOLDIER honor and your dreams, that the fact he was proud and happy that he was working for shinra! meanwhile they had secret labs scattered about banora, modeoheim, and nibelheim that these experiments were going on!

at this point, zacks faith in shinra is fading and his dream is being pushed to the back burner even when he does eventually become a 1st class. no thanks! you can keep it. not like he had a chance but accept it. when hes forced to kill angeal, theres a mix of emotions: intense sadness because he looked up to angeal and admired him greatly, with his skills and such inspiring ideals; and even tho he can handle himself without angeal, he felt like he was the last pillar in SOLDIER that he had. he also felt relieved and hurt, zack doesnt forget him keeping all this information of human experimentation a secret while zack was looking with a naive lense to wanting to protect the people. relieved in the sense that angeal was probably hurting and was rapidly degrading if the grey hair and pale skin at his death was any indication.

being inherited the buster sword wasnt something he took proudly, it was a heavier weight on his shoulders the point where was sagging. he felt the least he could do was become those that ppl looked up to as well. even tho he carries a piece of angeal, he just couldnt accept what he had tried to push onto him. SOLDIER honor, there wasn’t a thing that existed at this point. trying to convince himself that SOLDIER doesnt mean monster, he couldnt kid himself that it meant monster.

during this time, he goes to the church and accept consoling from aerith. altho he doesnt talk about what happens, or what hes experiencing / feeling which eventually becomes his downfall. as a way to make himself feel better, he visits the church, immediately feeling calmed, but however with so much weighing on his mind, promising aerith to build the wagon for her flowers becomes half-hearted. he thinks this is enough to try and hes the burden he was inherited, to push away the trauma of having to kill his mentor and watching him die, and fighting monsters, that were at some point, people--- even to the point of no longer wanting to be a part of SOLDIER. ofc this doesnt work and isnt a viable way to cope with his experiences.

being last straw is when he fights sephiroth when he burns down nibelheim. that was someone he looked up to and trusted, he joined SOLDIER wanting to be like him. except now hes dragged cloud and tifa into this whole mess, and he feels incredibly responsible for not intervening sooner. he shouldve seen the signs that it wasnt going to end well, but he gave him the benefit of the doubt, hoping that he wouldnt be like genesis and angeal (which he was wrong). witnessing that sephiroth was kept these very important and crucial details, made him realize it doesnt matter how important or popular you are in shinras eyes; if theres any hint that someone could retaliate, they will keep it a secret until its convenient for them. this severed anything else positive he felt for shinra.

he doesnt even realize he was put in a pod for 4 years (only assuming its been a couple of weeks at most), still imaging that hes 18 when he now has to physically free himself from shinras grasp. even while hes asleep, the nightmares and visions of angeal wouldnt waver. even though he could choose to leave cloud alone in the pod with severe mako poisoning, he didnt want to. cloud was his friend, and he felt solely responsible for him to be pulled within the crossfire. cloud wanted to join SOLDIER, well this was the reality. he couldnt even fight for himself or eat; but he was alive and that was good enough for zack. zack has this pushed guilt onto his conscious, so he makes sure to bring cloud with him everywhere he went, even casually talking to him like he can actually respond back.

he doesnt even realize the reality that he wasnt a respected member of SOLDIER, by the words of hojo, they were both fugitives and even though zack was still asleep in that pod, he was so tired; emotionally, physically, and mentally. this whole thing, he had to see through, if not for himself, then for cloud. at least get him to midgar and try to continue living a separate part shinras greedy hands. there were certain times while trying to avoid shinra and hide, that he could just end himself several times, but clouds existence was a constant reminder that they both managed to live, besides he owed cloud so much, so ridding himself off wouldnt do them nearly enough good.

so seeing genesis again got him angry, that he couldnt even blame him for the reason this was happening. whether genesis wanted to capture hollander to help further shinra in experimentation, it wasnt going to stop what was going on underneath the surface. seeing lazard with angeals face really made him weak at the knees, physically made him sick, and feeling temporarily relieved (which he doesnt forget of the fact that angeal is dead, that this isnt actually him but lazard who absorbed his cells).

and finally beating genesis, he still felt angry with only a small semblance of sympathy. even with his soft heart, he couldnt help but feel bad for him, going thru such great lengths just because he was a failure of an experiment and wanted to live longer than what he got. this wasnt genesis’ fault, it was shinras and that just made him more frustrated.

and while hes with cloud, riding to midgar, he once again tries to push the anger, hurt, and frustration at the back of his mind to tell cloud silly stories while he was still in SOLDIER, and what he thought about cloud upon meeting him for the first time, and that feelings of doubts that hes sorry that cloud has to travel with a monster. with coming across the shinra army, he realized this was a final stand, being physically exhausted (even w the mutated s and mako infused cells, he doesnt feel nearly as strong as he did before). even though he no longer holds up the honor of SOLDIER, he needs to protect cloud and his own honor that hes built as a person, and nothing else.

when he succeeded by the skin of his teeth, he wonders why hes still alive, why hes still breathing, even though its hard. he lost sight in one eye, but he doesnt even realize how, everything happened so fast. was he shot? was he stabbed? who knows, but taking cloud to midgar while hes sitting on deaths edge himself, he will take cloud back even if it kills him. there are people there waiting for him, unlike zack--- no one is waiting for him to come back, the people that hes looked up to has died, or see him as a traitor. perhaps, you could count his parents, but hes so ashamed to see them face to face. he feels like if he did, he would break down. his cell phone has long ago stopped working, so who knows if anyone has sent him anything during the time of his slumber. he doesnt even know that kunsel is waiting for him to come back.

during this whole time, hes held in his feelings and emotions, shouldering all this himself. he hasnt talked to anyone previously about his trauma, the nightmares that prevent him from sleeping, or his doubt. being in the sector 7 slums and being taken care of, he puts on a false face that everything is okay, but it cracks when he hit his brink. crying and screaming, yelling how none of this is fair and how he shouldve been dead. he doesnt why hes alive but hes so tired. he was fully planning to die when he faced shinras army, not even thinking how to why, if there even is a reason. even though tifa and marle kindly provided him a room to rest in, theres a momentary frenzy where there are several deeply punched in walls, even unleashing his sword in blinded frustration.

hes never been taught that it was okay to share your feelings, and being swallowed by the toxicity of SOLDIER, he felt as if it was weak to ask for help. hes encouraged and is told several times, while being in the slums, that its okay. theres always an ear to be lend to if one needs to talk about their woes, or something that deeply troubles them. not to mention, he has a hard time accepting that so much time as passed, that so much as changed and almost so many people forgot about him. hes lost so much of his younger years by SOLDIER, the lost of mental growth by being in a god damn mako infused pod. he needs to catch up, now finding home in the sector 7 slums (altho apologizing and insisting that he fix up the room that he ruined. it gives him something to do and he fees bad for destroying that was so graciously offered from kindness).

he spends his time around avalanche and tifa, not only trying to help up from the wounds he endured, but trying to move on. find easier methods to cope and deal with the stress in healthy ways thats not dangerous self destruction to himself and those around him. hes slowly coming to the conclusion that hes not a monster that hes so insisted on, but a victim and pawn of SOLDIER and shinra. hes angry at shinra. hes upset, frustrated, aggravated, among other emotions towards the former company hes worked for.

and even though this healing process is still slow, hes becoming much more happier than has been before. he finds home in the slums, and those people that has so welcomed him, even though untrusting because of his previous affiliation with SOLDIER. he loves the people, quickly befriending the entire sector 7 slums.

hes come a long way since coming back to midgar, from self loathing and a weak, nearly broken spirit to his back optimistic, naturally smiling self that people love to be around. he has given shinra a lot, but he wont let them take away a person he was so proudly being before he entered SOLDIER, albeit still immature with mentality that hes still 18.

#m.#suicide ment /#i did not proofread this or spell check this so Uh yeah #this is actually .......... really long LOL but i wanted to include everything that i could!!!#i felt like some of this is a summary of my bio ...... but! ah

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dadbodsarehot · 4 years

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gget ready for a doozy: 2, 3, 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16: would he go rrandonauting with me + mavericcck hehehh

fdsjfjfkldsf for someone who knows more about maverick than literally anyone else on earth you sure want to know a lot abt maverick

gonna stick this under a cut so its not obnoxiously long

2. Does your insert have a very strong relationship with a f/o, maybe more than one? Tell us a little about the dynamic they have! This can be a bond that’s romantic, familial, or platonic, anything - even an enemy would count as a strong relationship!

this is such a weird question. do people make self inserts for things other than selfshipping?? anyway. obviously his main dynamic is w kaz; they compliment each other in a lot of ways.. both kind of work too hard, in different ways, and find solace and relaxation in each others presence-- something that only becomes stronger over the years. they never really stop being playful and easygoing-- maverick can get away w saying a lot of things to kaz that probably nobody else could, and vice versa. the obnoxious pda couple to a fault, even if they get a bit quieter about it as they get older.

mavericks other strong connection, as you already know, is to big boss. he never really had a lot of strong older male figures in his life that weren’t horrendous, and good ol john snake fits that older brother role to a t-- at least for a while. mostly they just train-- its how they communicate. maverick considers it an accomplishment if he can make him laugh. once in a blue moon trauma is mutually discussed, acknowledged and then never brought up again until the next time it happens.

3. Who in their canon are they closest to? Who would they drop everything to come help, if anyone? Who’s the person they’re least close to? Who would they most likely not get along with, if anyone?

obviously kaz again. theres nothing mav wouldnt do for his husband up to and including die and commit violent murder. as for like.. people he doesnt like. hm. dunks on huey. ocelot can choke. next question

12. Is your insert a loner, or do they prefer crowds? Do they warm up easily, or do they tend to take longer to befriend others? What kinda people do they get along with? Who are they likely to be uncomfortable with?

definitely a loner-- he didn’t really do relationships longer than like. one night stands before meeting kaz. crowds are good for blending into but hes definitely more of a solitary guy. he keeps people at arms length Often. he likes people who can take his sarcasm and keep up with him, and people who dont take his jokes too seriously and get all bummed out. anyone who tries to make him confront his Large Amount Of Trauma against his will is on his shitlist-- or just anyone too stuck up and serious in general.

13. What are your insert’s goals? Their hopes and dreams for the past/future/present! Do they intend to achieve no matter what? Could anything stop them, big or small?

GOALS.... cant say he really had many before msf. his only goal was ..... not to die, really. keeping himself alive was a big focus, just surviving long enough to... survive. id say his larger goal that maybe even he didnt acknowledge was to kind of... reclaim his life from the hands of his father. over time, he kind of does this without realizing it, and his goal in life becomes to protect the optimistic peaceful world that kaz believes in-- even if sometimes neither of them believe in it. hes very determined fjdslfl

14. Does your insert have any family relations? How do they get along? How do they disagree? Is it a biological family? Adopted? Or is it found family? How did this family come together, if it was one of the last two?

not at first. his parents are both dead and he killed one of them fdsjkfl you could say he eventually gains a family-- kaz and their kids and solid and otacon. havent decided how much of all that is canon BUT. yknow

15. Does your insert have any enemies? What’s that dynamic like? Why are they enemies? Did they ever get along in the past? Is patching up differences out of the question for the future?

ENEMIES... his dad maybe ?? JFDSFKL ranger ford is a bastard who made his life hell every for 17 years and the world was a better place the instant he died jfdlsf

as for 16.. idk probably hes always up for doing stupid and dumb dangerous shit JFKDSLF

#peace and love #IM SORRY THIS LIKE. TOOK SO LONG #gothbfships #si talk

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alukaforyou · 4 years

Text

and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.

its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.

and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....

ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??

#.txt

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grimms-the-daydream-believer · 5 years

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go big or go home, lets have all of em

oh my lord lasagna. i dont expect anything less from you, tho

1 - one text you wish you’d sent?

this is a little oddly specific but... i can give you the context if you want ig.

“when i say “you don’t care about my mental health”, i dont mean anything to do with my other friends. i mean that you have called me annoying to my face, said you liked the “old [real name]”, told me it was annoying when i expressed my depressed thoughts, was embarrassed of one of my stress toys to the point i stopped bring it, and outright didn’t care when i was screaming, drowning for help. so yeah, dont make this about my other friends.”

2 - can only talk to one person for the rest of your life, who is it?

sorry lasagna i love you to death but probably @minamishipsit-secondround

3 - guiltiest pleasure?

80s boy bands are the shit thats all.

4 - what do you do when you’re sad to cheer yourself up?

i listen to the monkees and the beatles of course!!! or watch the monkees, i have my favorite episode recorded so i always watch that :)))

5 - who’s your inspiration?

i have a lot, but i suppose howard ashman. for those not in the know, he was a song writer for the little mermaid, pretty much my all time favorite movie. even when i was a smol child and didnt read the credits i knew his name and i love all his work.

6 - something you want but are afraid to ask for?

a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a datemate or whatever.

7 - do you think you have big or small dick energy?

good question. i feel like i pretend to have big dick energy but truthfully i have moderatly sized dick energy.

8 - your favourite daydream?

idk if its a daydream but theres this one situation i always imagine for one of my ships and its just. really soft. thats all.

9 - happiest memory this week?

uhhh playing with my kitties or when i found out i got an a on my math test.

10 - if you could change one thing what would it be?

just? in general? about me? anything? personally id like to not be a depresso bean but oh well.

11 - ultimate goal?

i wanna... i wanna be happy. i wanna be content. i wanna be okay. i wanna be living. i wanna be alive.

i hope one day i will get better. and i will wake up a house of my own with a family of my own and happiness of my own. while money and fame would be nice, thats not what i truely want extremly. so, thats my goal. to keep living so one day i can have a wedding, one day i can have children, one day i can have a cat. thats all.

12 - are you a romantic?

well, heres the thing- ive never... been in a position in which i need to be romantic. essientally, ive never dated anyone. ever. so? i dont have any basis? im sure you can be romantic Not in a relationship but yknow.

13 - thoughts on dark academia?

not in it but it sounds cool :O endless its controversial then. it doesnt sound cool. i literally have not heard about it till today so if theres any discource about it i dont know.

14 - thoughts on ______

kpop, obviously suggested

well as we all know, im a classic rock stan and as we all know, classic rock and kpop stans are pitted against each other? for? some reason? unlike some other classic rock stans (no shade, if you hate kpop your valid you do you), i dont really hate kpop nor do i like it. ive never listened to any kpop bands (at least, upon my own will) so i dont wanna judge. i do hate the rivalry between kpop and classic rock but i aint gonna get into that

15 - further education, yes or no?

im probably gonna go to college, endless i “write a book now and get it published and be rich” which is my mom suggests i do but idk.

16 - your favourite conspiracy theory?

uhhh the first one that comes to mind is paul is dead. i dont believe in it, of course, but i just find all the “facts” incredibly interesting. anyone knows i could and i will info dump about it on anyone.

17 - an unpopular opinion?

mushrooms are the shit anti-mushroomers dni i dont need this kind of negativity in my life

18 - Polaroids or digital photos?

polaroids cause thats #aesthetic

19 - board games or phone games?

board games!!! i love board games a lot, i wish my family did a family game night but oh well

20 - which season do you think you represent, but which would you like to be?

i feel llike i would repersent fall. a strange middle season, rarely consitent weather, not as loved as summer but not as hated as winter. just kind of exists. some people find it utterly pretty and other people despise it relentlessly. everything is dying yet, everything is beauitful.

id like to be spring, spring is practically fall just better. instead of dying, things are growing, its all non-arguably beauitful, sitting outside on a cool spring day is such a site. its got some funky weather but its the tunnel towards the light- summer, the most beloved season. unlike fall, which is the gateway away from summer and slowly leads into the harsh, cruel days of winter.

21 - your ideal aesthetic?

punk as fuck

22 - do you drink?

nah, thats illegal.

23 - something you’d like to say to your crush?

please hold my hand.

24 - something embarrassing that’s happened last recently?

one day i woke up and just went about my day, that was pretty embarrassing

25 - quiet nights in or nights out?

quiet nights :)

26 - your preferred art?

written if you count that.

27 - if you could get one tattoo what would it be?

uhhh probably a lyric from a song. take a giant step by the monkees, maybe?

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theunconcernedembalmer · 3 years

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Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

#its me the mun #unconcerned ramblings #i know ive said that there are a lot of new blogs popping up #but uhhh i dont really dare to interact with them #considering they kinda did come in just when shit had hit the fan n idk i might have been known as The Problematic Blog tm #so i understand if ppl dont want to interact with me n im fine with it. so for now i wont be initiating anything #like dropping asks into inboxes unless i know the mun n theyre comfortable with me doing this #i will interact with everyone who drops by my inbox tho!!#i also tend to get to replies for other blogs faster than general replies cos i feel bad if i kept the other person waiting for too long #I DO forget about rp replies sometimes tho. sometimes #i try my best to get to every one of them tho. even when im kinda busy this period aha #also starting off is actually easy. its about maintaining thats difficult i feel #which is also why i havent done up a genshin ask blog yet HAHAHAHAHA #i really hate to give up on something ive already started when it comes to art projects so

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