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thefirstknife · 8 months

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Getting real sick of a certain subset of Destiny players complaining that it’s a baby game and crying to Bungie to nerf exotics and abilities when their ENTIRE POINT IS TO BE STRONG in specific ways as if they are being locked into using them.

IF YOU WANT AN EXTRA CHALLENGE STOP BEING SUCH A DPS GOBLIN AND JUST EQUIP SOMETHING THATS NOT TOP TIER META AND STOP COMPLAINING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

MOOD. Go off.

It's incredibly annoying to me. They always use the argument of "the game should FORCE me to do things, I should not SELF-IMPOSE challenges." And like. ? I'm sorry but what? It's a video game for a big audience, it's here to be playable and accessible to the widest possible playerbase. There are plenty of ways to make the game difficult for yourself, so knock yourself out if that's your thing, but don't force others into it.

Like, I enjoy hard content, I regularly at least attempt day 1 raids, I do master raids, GMs, solo and solo flawless content and all that. But only when I want to. Sometimes I don't and I don't want to suffer in a patrol zone or struggle in a seasonal activity I'm doing for the story. The majority of the players don't want that. Designing games for the professional gamers only has NEVER been a good idea and never will be. Fifty streamers can't sustain a video game. It needs casual players who will want to come back to the game instead of feeling defeated.

One of the reasons I really enjoy helping others is because I know that casual players tend to struggle in stuff that's basic activity for me. I've seen people unable to get through a strike. I've sat for 10 minutes rezing someone who couldn't do the jump in a seasonal activity. I want those people to be able to play basic content without feeling frustrated and I want them to know that there are people out there who will help them out.

And this doesn't apply just to basic content, although it should start with that. I think all dungeons and raids and everything should be things that all players can complete. Fine, doing a master raid with all challenges should be tough, but it should be achievable with time and practice, not impossible. What a lot of these "pros" want is just completely divorced from reality.

It takes days and days of practice every time a new master raid is out for me and my team (all with thousands of hours of playtime) to get comfortable to finally finish it. We're far from casual players and it still takes a lot of time to be able to finish hard content. Making it even harder is insane to me. Like, if something is so hard that my team full of people, each with 5000+ hours of playtime and a coordinated team that's been raiding together for years now can't finish it, that means it's absolutely impossible for probably 90% of the playerbase. That's wild to me. Raids and GMs should have more people playing them. If master raids are too easy for you, Mr. I-Play-Destiny-For-A-Living, that's on you buddy. Unequip the super god tier god roll meta guns and loadouts or play something else.

And ofc, another excuse they make is "if I don't use meta, I am not going to win a raid race!" Then don't. Idk. Let me play you the tiniest violin. This affects literally nobody except a grand total of 50 people. Run your meta in day 1, and play with random shit otherwise. Play raids with all white weapons. Play without mods. Play without a HUD. Do things solo only. I don't know, make up a way to spice things up for yourself. I'm not interested in that and neither are 99% of the players out there. The game is genuinely hard enough for the majority of the players. On top of that, I am here to feel like a powerful space fantasy superhero. I am NOT here to die to dregs in patrol zones. If there's ONE thing that I know for a fact that put people off from Lightfall (as in this year of Destiny), it's the difficulty changes. They're annoying, frustrating and for some a barrier to entry more than anything else.

#destiny 2 #gameplay #ask #long post #i really do love helping but i can't not feel bad because once the people i helped are out of my fireteam...#...there's no telling what other experiences they'll have #there's so many speedrunners and people who don't care and people who just aren't helping and are instead mocking others #you can only do so much for a few people you see in activities #this season's activities are super tough. every time so far I've played everyone in the team was struggling #i'm gonna have to start going into altars of summoning with my full support build warlock just to sit in there and help people #istg the 'pros' have to get their loadouts restricted. go play with non-god tier armour sets and guns #equip the same loadout that some casual player has available and let me see you then #this idea that everyone has minmaxed best equipment available at all times is bizarre. please get your head out of your ass #'i have perfectly rolled all artifice armour with perfect stat exotics for every loadout because i have infinite time to grind' okay dude #most of us aren't being paid to play destiny. lmao #'the game used to be hard' no. you got better. you mastered it #why is this so difficult to understand. everything is hard when you first start. 5000 hours later it no longer is #the game is fine. the 'health of the game' is fine. you mastered it and outgrew it #either impose challenges on yourself or find something else #like. when i first started GMs they were almost impossible for me #now i play them for fun. they're still challenging but they're not the same level of hard and I'm fine with that #i enjoy them as content and they're still entertaining #and when a new GM comes out it's a new challenge to master so it'll be hard at the start #as everything ever in the world #if that's no longer enough for you then you just outgrew the game and should probably move on #the only reason why some things used to be hard was poor quality of life that got improved over time #not being able to mantle in d1 is not difficulty. it's just not good design. it was fixed and improved #the bitching about light 3.0 as well. man. just don't use the 'OP' fragments. it's so easy to unequip them #i personally love the variety and all the options i have now as opposed to before #okay tag essay done. fhkajhakfhksjf

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babybirbb · 8 months

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you were always like my canary, a butchie playlist on spotify

touching yourself - the japanese house // too close - sir chloe // why’d you only call me when you’re high? - arctic monkeys // we didn’t start the fire - fall out boy // hayloft & hayloft ll - mother mother // kamikaze - omar apollo // cop car - mitski // over your head - orla gartland // side character - cloudfodder // kiss with a fist - florence + the machine // bags - clairo

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stirdrawsandreblaws · 16 days

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saw a post with an incorrect etymology for the word 'rizz' and then--bc i wanted to see if/when there were print examples of its actual origins as baltimore street slang and aave--stumbled across the information that 'rizz' was used somewhat frequently in the early 1800s?? it was apparently a cockneyism for "risen"

idk what to do with this information but here it is

#stirring up trouble #linguistics #abt 30 years later there were a lot of spelling/grammar manuals that complained about this as a 'common mistake' lol #also god i wish google books would let me copypaste the actual text...at least i got the point of the screenshot across in the alt text #...though now that i think of it ppl that use screen readers might be super irritated at being read this long block of old-timey text #when the point is such a small part of it. so my inability to paste the entire thing in the alt text is probably for the best honestly.#of course if someone with a screen reader wants me to actually transcribe it all i'll make the effort. til then i save my time and hands

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just-late-roman-republic-things · 3 months

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Determinism, Dice Rolls, and Dickheads

So, @sextuscansextus posed a great question the other day: "If you were going to pin the BEGINNING of the downfall of the Roman Republic on the actions of one Roman, who are you blaming?" The pedant that lives in my brain immediately started asking more questions. Not to argue, but to explore. To enjoy. To attempt a political autopsy well outside my competence.

This post is my answer: who I blame most, and why.

Had the Die Already Been Cast?

Many folks (including sextuscansextus herself) have pointed out that the end of the republic was a complex process, and blaming it on one "key figure" doesn't really work. Historians don't just talk about the individuals who shaped history, but a web of other factors: geography, economics, religion, overvalued sparkly rocks, etc.

So, how much should we blame people like Sulla or Caesar? And how much should we blame systemic forces that pushed them and other Romans to act as they did?

A pure "systems" approach looks like Jared Diamond's book, Guns, Germs and Steel. It tries to explain why some societies colonized others, using physical geography and agriculture. Individuals could still make choices, but on a large scale, the societies followed the different paths permitted by their material situations.

Or, to more bluntly, Europe was destined to colonize the Americas because cows rule and llamas drool, wheat is better than potatoes, and Europe's coastline looks like it was drawn by a spider on cocaine.

This book is, shall we say, controversial.

Apart from issues with methodology, accuracy, and possible racism, the book invokes historical determinism. Determinism is the idea that events are inevitable: your behavior is determined by the state of your brain, your brain's state is determined by your genetics and environment, and every person is equally ruled by those factors. Free will is as nonexistent as Mark Antony's underwear.

Determinism Lite™️ might allow for individual free will, but still frames big shifts like the fall of the Roman republic as inevitable. Or, you might say it became inevitable after a certain event set it on the course to destruction. I think this is what sextuscansextus' question is really getting at. The point in Roman history when you say, "This is where it went wrong," influences who you think doomed the republic, and how you judge the leaders who followed.

But was it doomed? Did a civil war have to happen sooner or later? If an eagle had dropped a turtle on Julius Caesar's bald spot, would somebody else march on Rome instead?

Erich Gruen and Robert Morstein-Marx have other ideas.

Lucky Bastards and the Doomsday Clock

In The Last Generation of the Roman Republic, Erich Gruen asks: What was happening in Roman politics between 80 and 49 BCE? What changed, and what stayed the same? He catalogues every election, trial, law passed or blocked, military mutiny, incestuous clusterfuck - the detail is both impressive and mind-numbing. Then he compares it all to previous decades, and concludes...that in 50 BCE, the republic was not falling apart.

"But how can that be?" you may ask. "Look at everything that went wrong! Even the Senate house burned down!"

Gruen isn't saying there weren't crises during this time. What he's saying is that they don't reflect a fundamental decay in republican institutions, or mean the republic couldn't put itself back together. For instance, the burning of the Senate was followed by troops being called in to restore order and hold a trial for Clodius' murder, and Rome was then at peace for three years until Caesar invaded - for completely unrelated reasons. The two conflicts are not actually linked. And positive developments occurred in between them, but are usually overlooked by historians trying to explain why things went wrong.

Gruen's argument is multi-layered, and I can't summarize it all here. But he concludes that the Roman republic could have potentially survived much longer, if not for the personal, not systemic, conflict between Caesar and Pompey in 50 BCE. If he's right, then we can't say any of Caesar or Pompey's predecessors "doomed" the republic.

Robert Morstein-Marx takes Gruen's argument further. In Julius Caesar and the Roman People, he explores the lead-up to Caesar's civil war, and finds miscommunication, politicians waffling back and forth, and several times war was almost averted. Even after Caesar crossed the Rubicon, he and Pompey nearly reached a peace deal. And several times Caesar was almost killed in battle, only escaping through pure luck.

Neither the civil war nor Caesar's dictatorship were inevitable. So besides "important people" and "systemic factors," Morstein-Marx names another force of history: sheer, bloody chance.

Not all historians agree with Gruen and Morstein-Marx. But let's suppose that at some point, the republic was in danger, yet there was a chance of restoring it to its prior health and stability. Whether you think there was a 90% or 5% chance of saving the republic in 52 BCE, try thinking in terms of probabilities, not a path of cause and effect.

Let's call this the "probability model." There are people and events who raise or lower the republic's stability, going all the way back to its founding, when Lucius Brutus' sons tried to overthrow it. It's like the Doomsday Clock, which doesn't measure how long humans have before destruction, but our risk of things blowing up in our face. The Doomsday Clock can go forward (riskier) or backward (safer), just like the Roman republic could start stabilizing in 52-50 BCE before a civil war destabilized it again.

In this model, we can't really say there is a "beginning of the end," or one person who started it. There was a series of events during which the republic collapsed, but they didn't necessarily cause each other, or all stem from a single source. You might as well ask which raindrop flooded your house.

But don't worry. We can still throw rocks at a guy who's been dead for 2000 years. We just have to rephrase the question a little.

What Was the Biggest Hit?

We can't say one man caused the republic to irreversibly decay, but we can say some men struck bigger blows than others, or struck it at a worse time.

Personally, I really like Gruen and Morstein-Marx's analyses. I agree with Gruen that the republic had reasonable prospects to survive in 51 BCE, and with Morstein-Marx's argument that Caesar and Pompey could have resolved their differences peacefully. But I think the republic's chances dropped dramatically after Caesar invaded Italy and Pompey fled to Greece - perhaps from 80% to 30%, if you'll forgive me for pulling numbers out of my ass. And the odds got worse as the conflict went on.

For the next 20 years, Rome was in a nearly constant state of civil war, autocracy, or both. It's hard to overstate how damaging both of those were to every level of society. Men like Augustus grew up without having ever seen a healthy republic, and many of the men that knew how to run one were killed. Public offices went unfilled, infrastructure decayed, mouths went unfed. Even if preserving the republic wasn't impossible yet, it became far, far more difficult. So if we're gonna point fingers, I think we should be looking at 50-49 BCE.

A lot of politicians fucked up at that point. You can argue that Curio drove a wedge between Caesar and Pompey, that Cato shut down the peace negotiations, that Marcellus declared war first, that Caesar started the war for real, and that Pompey tried to play both sides and it blew up in his face. It's possible that if any of these men had acted differently, no war would have happened. But if I had to pick one man to blame the most...

The Motive Matters, Too

Let's go back to that point about systems versus individual agency. How far were these politicians' choices constrained by their culture and environment? It doesn't change how badly they fucked up, but when it comes to blame, I'm harsher on people who choose evil of their own free will, rather than because they feel pressured into it.

In De Bello Civili, Caesar tells us why he defied the Senate for a year and invaded his own country. He tells us he wanted to protect the tribunes' rights, but the tribunes only came to him days before he crossed the Rubicon, so it doesn't explain why he let the situation get so dire in the first place. For that, we must look at his other stated reason: dignitas.

He wasn't afraid of a trial, assassination, or the anger of his soldiers. He did it for his pride, public image, honor, whatever you want to call it. And he put that pride before the lives of his countrymen and the safety of his country.

Now, the ancient Romans might have thought dignitas was a better reason than we do, but we can't blame Caesar's actions on Roman culture, either. 140 years earlier, Rome had had another great general. His name was Scipio Africanus. His career shares many similarities with Caesar's, and he was likely one of Caesar's heroes. But Scipio never turned his power against his country. He actually turned down being dictator and perpetual consul, and when his enemies politically cornered him, he accepted exile rather than forcing an ugly, drawn-out fight. Despite that embarrassment, he remained a legend through Caesar's time and to this day.

Or perhaps you want an example closer to Caesar's era and situation. We have one: Lucullus, whom Caesar actually served under at Mytilene. 16 years before Caesar crossed the Rubicon, Lucullus was spurned for a triumph for his campaigns. He waited three years, living outside Rome all that time, before he finally got one. But during that time he demobilized his army and respected the Senate's laws, no matter how petty and personally motivated they were against him. He did not use the military as a threat.

When push came to shove, Scipio and Lucullus put the good of the republic before their own careers. Caesar did not. He chose to defy the Senate and take up arms against his countrymen, knowing full well he had other options available.

I blame Caesar not only for the size of the blow he inflicted on the republic, but also because the blow was so preventable, if only he had been a better man.

#holy shit this got long #it was super fun to write though!#gods i love talking about this stuff #jlrrt essays #historiography #roman politics #julius caesar #caesar's civil war #scipio africanus #robert morstein-marx #erich gruen #guns germs and steel #jared diamond #julius caesar and the roman people #the last generation of the roman republic #lucius licinius lucullus

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loststarphounix · 3 months

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ooooh

what if Gundham was hit with the Despair Disease? and his disease was the Remembering Disease and remembers everything that happened before, from the world-ending tragedy, to remembering his true beloved (Kazuichi)

Actually, aside from the Despair Disease, that’s actually the concept I had for A Remnant Trace, Nevermore (TW VERY dark themes in the story, please be advised) but I do love the idea of Gundham or Kazuichi having the Despair Disease! This time, lets make it a lot less dark and a bit more sad 😈

line break cause long post

First, Mikan would either need a new disease, getting the common cold so she’s stuck in quarantine with the others, or just not have a disease all together. Either way, with her not getting it, Gundham contracts the Remebering Disease, being one of the first to contract DD. And for funnies, let switch up the sick too - replace Hiyoko with Ibuki and Hajime with Nagito. So those with the disease are: Hiyoko, Akane and Hajime, with Fuyuhiko thrown in cause with not 😂

Hiyoko has same Disease Ibuki had, Akane’s stays the same, Hajime has the Lying Disease and Fuyuhiko has a brand new disease! I’m calling it the Damsel Disease! He feels compelled to be in situations where he’ll always be saved; no matter how dangerous or convoluted to the point it was obviously planned, he must be rescued.

So it’s only Nagito, Sonia, Chiaki, Ibuki, Nekomaru, Kazuichi and Mikan the only healthy ones. Gundham, with the Remembering Disease, happens on Day 2 and he hides it extremely well! Since he’s a theater kid and a goth, of course he has shit tons of makeup and foundation! That pale pallor isn’t completely natural after all. And since his body usually runs colder than the average human (this man is anemic send help), his fever isn’t completely obvious. When he awakes on the Motives Second Day with all their memories of Hope’s Peak, he immediately goes in search of Kazuichi.

He’s so overwhelmed by the memories, that it his Devas an embarrassingly long time to get him back to virtual reality. It doesn’t take him long to come to the obvious conclusion that he won’t be believed and called mentally unstable at best, or believed and cause unnecessary chaos and ensuring Junko’s victory at worse. He has to walk to very fine line, but his need to be close to Kazuichi now that he knows what they meant to each other means he has to play this cool.

Sadly, Gundham can’t really play cool. He almost completely ruins it during breakfast when he automatically seeks and sits at Kazuichi’s table. The mechanic is suspicious and butthurt since the day before they finally came to a head about The Sonia Situation ™️ and Ibuki is trying to cheer him up now that both his bros and big sis are sick. He thought the breeder was coming over to rub the whole situation in his face, but feels shame because he somehow knows the other would never do that. How even knows that, he can’t say but it feels right.

And so the two are just staring at Gundham, wondering what he’s doing siting with them and Gundham is starting to sweat bullets because how can he explain this behavior that’ll sound believable. He’s saved from his massive faux pas when Chiaki and Sonia join them, announcing they’ve decided to become a couple before this disease gets to them. And yeah, it hurts Kazuichi a bit, but he’s genuinely happy for Chiaki. And he apologizes to both Sonia and Gundham, which is met with very little fanfare from the former and acceptance for his apology from the later.

When they split up for the day, Gundham almost steps in it again when he instinctively heads out with Kazuichi. But he covers it by stating that he knew the mechanic was making some sort of communication device and will guard against any nefarious actions. And while he’s a little freaked out about the sudden shift in behavior, Kazuichi tries to shrug it off and reluctantly lets the other follow him around. But he’s super anxious because he thinks he’s going to get killed by the breeder because why else would he start following him around?

Meanwhile, Gundham is fighting inner turmoil: Watching Kazuichi work again brings nostalgic energy flowing through the goth. He remembers the long hours of them just each other’s company - Kazuichi working on some project or another while talking to Gundham about plans for dates or friend outings. It makes him long for the other to smile at him; to excitedly present a mini toy car he made just for his Dark Devas to traverse the realm without their Overlord’s assistance. He wants that intimacy again and he finds himself asking stilted questions.

At first, he tries to make it seem as though he’s ensuring Kazuichi is doing exactly what he told them, to then being curious to the steps and parts. Kazuichi, not really being used to people outside of other mechanics being interested in this kind of stuff, is immediately suspicious again - to the point he blurts out he knows the breeder is going to try and kill him. He immediately feels bad when Gundham looks genuinely distraught over the assumption but doesn’t back down, pointing out how just the other day the goth proclaimed he’d rather die than be Kazuichi’s presence willingly.

Now Gundham is faced with an impossible hurdle: does he confess what he knows and be seen a mad prophet fallen by illness as tragic as Delphi? Not mention being confined and unable to protect those he cares for from this accursed world. Or he says nothing, making the other believe the worst of him and create a bigger rift between him and his Sun?

He is saved once again by the universe, when a sick Fuyuhiko runs past, somehow escaping from the hospital. Kazuichi runs after him, determined to keep his friend from harm and the breeder follows. They find Fuyuhiko trying desperately to climb up the motel stairs in hopes of jumping off the highest floor. At one point, Kazuichi almost had him, but the blond eludes him and makes it to the top and does a running leap into the air. Kazuichi screams, tears streaming down his face and Fuyuhiko is caught by Gundham who was still on the ground.

A sick Fuyuhiko is profusely thanking the breeder as the others come onto the scene. They get the blond off the goth and Sonia and Mikan manhandles him back to the hospital. Fuyuhiko makes an off handed comment about Gundham being much warmer than he thought, but it’s dismissed. Kazuichi waits until, the girls are gone to berate the other boy about doing something so stupid. But he does thank him for saving his sick friend and apologizes for assuming he’d try to kill him. Kazuichi figures that, if he wanted, he could’ve let the yakuza heir die and push Kazuichi over the railing too.

Gundham wonders if fate is being fickle or cruel, but he’ll take it. He uses this as a way to get the mechanic to get to spend with him - which he does after finishing the two way communication devices and making sure it was set up. They both find an easy camaraderie, with Gundham using his memories to his advantage and making the other more comfortable with him. What he didn’t know, though, was that Kazuichi kinda found him attractive already but he was trying to make the attraction focus on Sonia which failed lol. So he’s actually more open to the breeder now that she’s not available and they aren’t playing rivals.

They hang out all day and when the night time announcement comes on, they’re a little surprised that it was that late. When they part for the night, Gundham makes sure Kazuichi enters his hotel room safely before going around and ensuring everyone was accounted for inside before going in.

The next day, better progress. Ibuki is a little down because Mikan is spending more time at the hospital, but it’s only a minor thing. She understands why. Kazuichi is more welcoming to him at breakfast than yesterday and they both stick together after they’re recruited forcibly dragged over to help with their sick friends. At some point, they get separated and Gundham is confronted by one of the others (Hajime maybe) and they corner him and basically tell him they know he’s sick and want in on his obvious plan to murder Kazuichi.

Disgusted, Gundham leave them, but he can’t help now noticed how Kazuichi is still a little weary towards him. Little does he know that after Gundham stormed off, they encounter Kazuichi and basically said the same thing, but added how the other seemed to be recruiting people. Kazuichi thinks it’s bullshit, but he can’t help the space he puts between them afterwards.

Gundham comsiders telling Kazuichi the truth, the he remembers everything, but can’t find the right time to do so. Something always comes up and if he’s honest, he kinda likes being the only one with vital information. He knows their tells and can keep them a lot more safe. Also, a little part of him uses his regained knowledge to win back Kazuichi. It’s immoral he knows, but he doesn’t completely see it as wrong when the mechanic genuinely smiles up at him, or holds his hand for a millisecond when he’s excited, or calls him that ridiculous nickname “Gummy Bear”.

It’s selfish he knows, but he feels entitled to the selfishness. Even though as a Remnant he has done many unspeakable acts, does that mean he doesn’t deserve this little slice of heaven when it presents itself?

So he continues to stay silent, being vigilant while also drawing out the mechanic’s hidden attraction for him. And for a split moment, he lets himself forget what was happening around them. Why he was able to remember….

The announcement blaring throughout the island shocks him as does the knowledge of a double murder occurring seemingly the same time. Ibuki and Hiyoko, both slain in the Titty Typhoon. And Mikan had done it. It comes to light during the trial, that Mikan never meant to kill Ibuki - she had in fact was developing a crush on the musician. But Ibuki overstepped; did something that triggered the nurse’s past trauma and when she came to, Ibuki was dead. Hiyoko had witnessed it, but since she had the Obedience Disease, Mikan easily made her kill herself.

Now they were down three friends and Gundham feels immense guilt because he thinks he could’ve prevented all of this by being honest. And Kazuichi and Sonia assume that their unfortunate situation has finally made the breeder crack under pressure and they try to reassure him. He still keeps his secret to himself, even after the fever is gone he still retains the memories, but only very vivid and specific ones. He still tries to use them to keep them all safe.

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singingcicadas · 3 months

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Want to do a post-LL25 pseudo megarod/megop relationship where Optimus doesn’t die in the battle with Unicron but somehow gets spat out of the black hole with a reinstated body and matrix. Rodimus tries to save Megatron during the victory lap by persuading him into a sparkbond, b/c of that really common fanon trope of sparkbonds tying lives together so the death of one partner would mean automatic death for the other (it’s a myth but he’s grasping at straws here). Megatron refuses at first, saying that it’s Not A Good Idea and Rodimus would regret it. Eventually Rodimus wears him down but Megatron has no idea what he’s planning and thought it was just going to be a regular sparksharing for goodbye.

So Rodimus seizes his chance as soon as Megatron’s spark's open, plunging the bond really really deep (way deeper than is safe). It doesn’t work, obviously, he almost drowns in Megatron’s memories of anger and hate and loss, if not for Megatron breaking them out before it got too far. But not before he got to experience some real fucked up shit of Megatron being a sadistic genocidal psyco from a first person front seat pov. And seeing the way Optimus stands out as a constant among all those years of rage-clouded carnage, first as an anchoring point for hatred, then as a source of close companionship and comfort in the Functionalist universe. Megatron is quiet and gentle when he says see, I told you you’d regret it. Now you know why I deserve my fate.

And Rodimus can’t even reply b/c he’s so shaken by the slapping reminder of the true extent of Megatron’s guilt and crimes and the inconsequentiality of his own feelings in comparison.

Megatron leaves with Prowl but Rodimus can’t let go of him in his head. He keeps thinking obsessively over the sparksharing incident. Then he sees Optimus and has an immediate flashback to Megatron’s Functionalist universe memories. That’s when he realizes oh it’s not entirely the moral issues about Megatron’s past that’s got him all hung up. It’s jealousy.

Here’s where the megop part is pseudo b/c it’s all in Rodimus’ head lol. They don’t actually have romantic feelings about each other, at all, in any universe. Functionalist Orion was important to Megatron but they were never A Thing. But Rodimus doesn’t know that and he’s torn between jealousy and his own loyalty towards Optimus, his anger at Optimus for not doing anything to save Megatron who clearly loves him, his logically knowing the unfairness of that anger, his recognition of the well-deservedness of whatever Megatron’s fate and his own bias and just the absurdity of his own feelings in general. He tries to visit Megatron in prison to sort things out but megatron won't see him. He wants to leave Cybertron on Thunderclash’s ship but can’t bring himself to go without knowing what’s going to happen to Megatron.

Meanwhile Optimus is just disappointed that he survived yet again and is too tired to care about anything other than his job. Everyone else is super joyous and in awe at both his survival and the restoration of the matrix, he’s the only one who’s Not Happy with the way things turned out. But he can’t say anything, not when the miracle has everyone so hopeful and united. Bumblebee is the only one who notices that something’s wrong when he starts showing physical symptoms, but there’s no way Optimus is able to tell him the truth; by that point his accumulated mental barriers of guilt and denial and subconscious self-preservation are so thick that it’s next to impossible for him to ever open up to another.

Optimus busies himself with governance stuff. he doesn’t visit Megatron. He appoints new council members and new Senators, most of whom knew Megatron as the AVL leader. Rodimus is automatically granted a seat at the council but he never shows up. Nobody’s seen him in office since the Lost Light landed, except for an endless flow of charges for illegal engex consumption, drunken misconducts and truancies. Optimus tries to contact him, tries to get Ratchet and Magnus to keep an eye on him and set him up with therapists and the like, but Rodimus ignores every attempt at contact.

Deep down Optimus knows that those aren’t actual helpful solutions, Ratchet and Magnus haven’t been able to get Rodimus to listen forever and there isn’t a therapist left alive who can even begin to understand the stuff they’d been through, but most days he can barely bring himself to summon enough energy to do his duty as is. He can’t deal with Rodimus’ problems on top of his own. Bumblebee and Roller do the best they can but there are times when their care becomes a burden in and of itself. So he pays the fines and files away the charges, and with that also files Rodimus away to the back of his mind (as well as Megatron, he knows it has something to do with Megatron, Megatron’s always at the bottom of his grief one way or another, but that’s another thing he can’t deal with, not right now)

Eventually the Galactic Council demands for Megatron to be handed over as part of reparations. Everyone knows what’s going to happen to him if they do. Unlike the last time Optimus doesn’t have the will to make that arbitrary decision himself. He tosses it up to a senate vote.

That’s when Rodimus bursts into the room screaming

Stuff Happens and they get Megatron out on parole, Somewhere along the middle of that Rodimus’ megop misconception gets cleared. But Megatron’s time’s still ticking down cuz idk the Galactic Council really really hates his guts. Rodimus insists that it doesn’t matter, he’s determined to make the most of whatever time he can get. Megatron thinks this is just going to make it more painful for Rodimus for both of them when the time comes but after ten thousand words of angst finally decides to go along to make him happy.

Optimus would sometimes unconsciously pause to watch them with each other, the playing, the banter, the easy affection. The sometimes-exasperation and good-natured tolerence. He'd feel happy for them but also envious, not because he wants to break their ship to do megop or rodiop (is that even a ship name) but because he's wistful for the affection between them knowing it's something he'd never have for himself. Worse, he knows that he could have it in an instant if he wants to, with someone who cares for him deeply and he cares back, it's just one step away from his fingertips—but it's a step that he knows in his heart that he's too weary to take, at least in this lifetime

He swears to himself that he would find a way to ensure that their happiness lasts.

weirdest fake love triangle i have come up with ever

#this got so long i didnt even include the punch line #so basically Rodimus stans megop for the first half and Optimus stans megarod for the second half lmfao #Rodimus finds out halfway that megop doesn't exist it's all self invented #oh god all that extra angst for nothing #but he's willing to fight for megatron's life even when he believes that the person Megatron loves isn't him #and he got super mad when all he saw in Optimus was indifference #Optimus is just: can't handle being in a relationship rn thanks #no it's more like can't handle anything rn thanks #poor guy #maybe I should make it my chinese new year's resolution to actually write this #yeah right that's only gonna happen in my dreams #megarod #rodimus #optimus prime #megatron

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trash-gremlin · 21 days

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could you imagine how good spirit animals would be if it wasn't written as a children's series

#thats the country that is bad and full of bad people that deserve to be mistreated and suffer a horrible disease that is easily curable -#- that the rest of the world has access to because a long time ago they started a war #i feel like bc they were kids books they couldnt really touch on the horrors of war #or how vile The Many were #it could also explore the greencloaks more in the way that they werent good guys. in the slightest #it would have so much more nuance #GOD IMAGINE IMAGINE IMAGINE #IT COULD BE SO SO SO GOOD #i need someone to write the books in a grittier way.#i mean obviously they touched on the fact that these kids were fighting in wars at 11 years old #and that stetriol was justified in rising up #and shane is already a really complex character but we never really got to see the like super gritty side only glimpses in the book of shan #spirit animals books #spirit animals series #and the fucking bile???? thats a terrifying concept that didnt get treated as seriously as it shouldve i think #especially how the fact it can turn regular animals into brutish killing machines was mentioned only once or twice #the amount of proper angst you can explore in the main four as well holy shit

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beatcroc · 3 months

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Is your pfp an oc of urs? Any story?

yah that's N.K.

primer: a former god of fear who has since resigned, and now runs what is essentially an intergalactic tourist trap on his cursed planet, simply known as ''nk's domain''

i don't really do "stories" per se i just have my guys in their 'verse and they have their lore and sometimes that's actionable in a plot sort of way, but most of the time they are just doing their things. nk is one of my oldest oc's and as such probably the most, like, centralizing? nk's domain is sort of a meetup hub for most other characters that don't have their own defined Thing going on, as well as what several characters' Things are directly related to, but nk himself isn't all that much of an active player any more and most of the current story type stuff i'm working with has kinda moved beyond him.

aside from that it's just his history tying him to other stuff; there's a lotta old-guard guys who fuckin hate him back from when he was still doing the whole 'reign of terror' fear deity thing [nk used to stand for 'nightmare king' but he just goes by nk now], there's a bunch a new-guard guys he's pissed off for being the main force behind the universal outlawing of capitalism[honestly not that important and some worlds still do it anyway bc gods are bad at caring enough to actually enforce their rules unless it's like a Really egregious violation], and there's also the history of said "cursed planet" itself [he didnt do that he doesnt know why its like that he just saw it wand went ooooh free real estate. but theres a reason its like that and he's starting to pay the price for having taken it over [accidentally unleashed an imprisoned god-parasite plague][uh oh][its that yellow thing in the last image][this is actually what my "main" "story"/alleged webcomic is about] [go here go in the dark]]

#obligatory disclaimer again all of my working with oc stuff is going to remain dormant until i get out of pizza hell #which i dont know how long that will take. another year maybe. hopefully not that long but hey. im having fun here #i said i would start working on tumblr-formatted refposts for my guys and ummm wellll i did not do that #eventually. we'll get there eventually #everybody want nk's ass dead so bad. smile #though since retiring his priority on most people's hitlists has sunk considerably #which is a good thing too since he's also gotten considerably weaker since retiring. stupid mechanics behind being a god you understand #still very much a god though so he's really only got to worry about shit if another god comes for him #but most consider themselves above his level these days.#that and the uhhh anti-god weaponry but ive not built that stuff out super well yet

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citymiddled · 7 months

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did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point

#i love this entire scene sooooo bad it's so delicious #flaunting the tadpole abilities and what he's capable of -- he's broken free of cazador somehow AND he can withstand the sun #and THEN once they leave. he attempts to manipulate tav in suuuuch a genuinely horrible way like #oh well of course i feel bad for them. i mean they're FORCED to do cazador's bidding. but no matter!#i'm fine sacrificing them for my own gain :) or rather... for OUR gain :)#this will keep both of us safe :) and... well... you want me to be safe right? :) you want me to be happy right? :)#this isnt him at his worst by any means but god it's soooo so good after how his act 2 arc is if youre romancing him #he's open and vulnerable and tells tav all about his plans and how he's been manipulating them this whole time #only to do it in a fun and new and interesting way all over again. but this time youre already 100% on his team #ANYWAY. i like when he's a bit fucking terrible #bg3 #playing bg3 #astarion #act 3 is really just a whole new beast to me at this point. how fun. i only got here once before and it was buggy and barely worked #sorry. i will be soooo deeply annoying as i rotate everyone in my head like little rotisserie chickens for the next few days #really thinking about how elluin is dealing with seeing this - she understands feeling like power will fix everything and keep her safe #but unlike astarion is capable of thinking long-term and about consequences #so this has her shaking in her fucking boots. and really has her grappling with the reality of their relationship #so until they actually get to the szarr palace and deal with the ritual... she's super withdrawn with astarion and even with the others #she wants him to be safe bc it means that she can realistically be safe since they're weird little mirrors for each other #but also. does safety exist without it becoming warped and horrifying #sorry. i will be normal again eventually

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kimokura · 8 months

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Goromi week 2023 day 6 - crossover

i drew dangan ronpa for such a long time i couldn't Not do this

#yakuza #like a dragon #majima goro #goromi #IM SO LATE BUT ITS FINE #this took me all day just bc i Forgot how long drawing in this style takes LOL oh my god #was fun though #also i wasnt able to do Anything for day 5 bc i got like. super sick from out of nowhere :(

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shima-draws · 6 months

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I just finished Skypeia AGHHHFJHHHH it was so GOOD

#One Piece #My favorite arc BY FAR #It was really long! But it wasn’t Alabasta long!!#Also Noland’s backstory deadass made me tear up that shit was so sad #Idk this arc just really kept me hooked. Like there wasn’t really a point I got super bored #Even with all the fights going on #Also just realizing they mentioned Noland in OPLA too. Nami read Zoro the book while he was totally conked out #Anyway ANYWAY I really enjoyed it. Lots of fun character interactions #And Usopp actually getting to do stuff too?? MY MANS #Oh and Zoro’s look this arc. God he was STYLIN. I’m so weak for a man in goggles shut up.#Logically that should apply to Usopp too and you know what. Yeah.#G8 is next and I know it’s filler but I’ve heard nothing but praise for it #So I’ll probably watch it instead of skipping :’D #Shima speaks #Also I find it stupidly ridiculous and funny that YET AGAIN Oda said ‘Lol you thought x character was dead?? SIKE’#Wiper got electrocuted and died like eight times but he’s fine actually. Also Sanji and Usopp got electrocuted too and were out #for like a full day. And then Enel zapped them AGAIN and Usopp was back on his feet like two minutes later.#Silly anime logic. It doesn’t make sense and I love it

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averlym · 8 months

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whshdfhfjf.,,,

#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur #look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly #because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to #ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts #anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately #a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle #lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix #fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material #mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent #a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort #and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one #here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try #like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still #they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1 #of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but #thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where #you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the #competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even #even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's #'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h #her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll #eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's #it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe #adamandi

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slugandthorn · 5 months

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The coolest gender thing in the 2009 Japanese video game persona 3 100% how hard they coded shinjiro as the dead mom

#.txt #i got soooo mad in the car driving home thinking about how his drug addiction is essentially the classic anime heart condition.#in that the only side effect of the suppressants is that they will kill him. like?#i realized for the longest time i had assumed the chest pain and sweating came from the drugs but thats. castor. obviously.#it doesnt affect his mood or his awareness its like a mood stabilizer pain relief pill?#its so odd that hes framed as like. being addicted to illegal street drugs. BY THE NARRATIVE.#when its more like hes on the most insane experimental medication that they wont even test on like. rats.#also im not fact checking any of this before posting. so i might be lying about things.#idk if it was all of strega that had trouble controlling their personas but like. chidori was because of the Experimentation.#and shinjis just like. mentally ill coded. in a bad way 😭#The inability to regulate a mood/stimuli to the point where he can be unsafe to himself or others.#broad ass symptom of disorders that are not treated well. its also interesting that its not brought on by a specific event.#like the childhood fire is there. but you have akihiko right there to directly compare it to. and hes arguably more effected by it all.#and he seems to be coping well 10+ years on like some coping mechanisms are kind of weird (protein) but nothing super out of the ordinary.#so the problem is really the october 4th incident which was just a pure honest to god accident.#the fact that it gets covered up as a car accident does feel like the best like. emotional equivalent.#because it being shinji being unable to control his persona his true representation of himself and it resulting in death is sooooo bleak #and it weighs on him for 2+ years of being suicidal and unhoused until finally he goes through with his suicide by martyrdom.#i lost the plot a little bit on the gender situation with the vague allusions to fraility when story convenient #acting as dorm den mother and cooking and sewing long hair jacket sillhouette reading like a dress #was referring to that before mental illness took over. woman under the influencing this anime boy.#long way of saying i think he should have a over the shoulder ponytail when hes older. and he should have a mood disorder.

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cerise-on-top · 2 months

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hi there! I was wondering if you could write how Farah would react if the reader got hurt because she's the commander of the ULF?

(Btw you are feeding the Farah lovers! Remember to take breaks and such if needed! 💞💞)

Hello! I'm glad to hear that! I do love writing for the girls, after all! I love them dearly and I'm glad you all do too! And I will take breaks if I need them, don't worry!

Reader got Hurt Because of Farah

I think that, although Farah is a very reasonable person and always uses her head instead of her heart, you getting hurt would be one of the few times where she would act out of emotions rather than rational thought. She can’t usually afford such a thing, no matter how distressed she may be, so it basically never happens. But the person who hurt you will come to regret ever getting close to you. She won’t go after them guns blazing, no, she’s way too smart for that. But that person will be dealt with, either immediately or after a while. Farah doesn’t forget, her memory is far too good for that. If she can see your attackers face, good. That way she can either immediately go after them or track them down by memory alone. But if she can’t see it then she’ll spare no expense in finding out who it may have been. It might take a while, but she’ll get her revenge. In fact, you getting hurt would be another big reason for her to fight her war for peace, because in her ideal world, no one gets hurt. Not you, not her brothers or sisters. However, whoever hurt you won’t live to see such a utopia. Farah won’t torture them, but she’ll make quick work of whoever they may be so that they won’t hurt anyone else near and dear to her. But of course, all of this goes once she’s certain you’re alright. Farah will call the best medics she has to make sure you’ll make it, that you’ll end up in as little pain as possible during your recovery. She won’t particularly have the time to be by your side throughout it all, but she’ll come visit you whenever she can, maybe even bringing you a recovery gift or two in the process. Always has someone check up on you. Someone she trusts will come in every once in a while and ask you how you’re doing to give her a report on your status. Yes, she may be on the frontlines fighting a war, but she always needs to know how you’re doing or else she’ll get even more nervous than she should be.

#cod #cod x reader #farah karim #farah karim x reader #the cod women lovers seem to have found me and liked me enough to want to request something from me. lovely #I am once again really tired today. work was rough and I ate some fried calamari today. the portion was so big and I'm stuffed #now I'm super tired but I have to wait until 21:20 until I can go to bed #at the time I'm writing this it's roughly 17:00 so I still have to pass a lot of time until I can finally sleep #anyway I don't have much to say as of right now #might mess around and finish the other two requests I have in my inbox today so some time will pass #I never would have thought I'd ever get into CoD but here I am and I am enjoying myself greatly #it never occurred to me before that it might have a storyline. and now I've been writing for that silly game for roughly two months now #time really does fly by. I got into it last summer actually so I haven't been a fan for too long #it's been fun. I got back into writing. but I only lost my writing spark because of vocational school. vocational school sucks so bad #had no time whatsoever for anything. had to study the entire time and had no time for my hobbies #god I'm looking forward to my apprenticeship leave exam so i never have to go there again #but enough about me on this post. sorry!

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