AM hours.
jackson wang x reader // angst // short scenario
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You tossed and turned and no matter how hard you tried; you just couldn’t sleep. The tiredness in your body was overwhelming, painful even, but your mind was wide awake. You were annoyed – with yourself and with him.
Jackson.
You haven’t heard from him in weeks. You used to drive yourself crazy figuring out what he was doing, why he was doing this and why he suddenly lost interest in you. Until you decided that you had to stop. He clearly wasn’t interested in you anymore and had a very shitty way of communicating that.
Were you sad about that?
Yes.
Were you going to torture yourself for the rest of eternity?
No.
At least you tried not to but here you were weeks after hearing from him unable to sleep because that Chinese devil still lived rent-free in your head.
You flinched as you checked the time on your phone, your eyes not used to the brightness. It was almost 4 AM and you were wide awake, awesome. You left out a long sigh and scanned over your messages. You giggled at the drunken texts from your bestie, at least one of you was living her best life. But when you noticed the other notifications, your heart sunk into your stomach – it was him.
Your body started to shake as you did not expect that. “Is he kidding? Now he wants to talk to me? He’s probably drunk at some bar and got no chick to fuck tonight and feels lonely. Oh sure, let’s call Y/N ‘cause she’s dumb enough to take you back. No, fuck you, Wang”, you scoffed.
You typed your reply “there is nothing to talk about :)” and put your phone aside. You felt hurt by his actions, you felt betrayed by his words, and you felt disappointed in him for treating you like that. You sure as hell did not deserve that. You noticed your phone lighting up – it was Jackson calling you. You had a feeling that this wouldn’t be over until he said what he needed to say, so you picked up.
„What do you want?”, you basically snapped at him.
“How can you say there is nothing to talk about, Y/N?” He didn’t sound drunk at all.
“Because there isn’t?”
You noticed him getting angry, unable to hide his frustration. “Don’t you come at me with that shit Y/N. I know you’re hurt. I know I hurt you immensely and you’re sweeping it under the rug?”
Now you were the one unable to mask your frustration. “What do you want me to do, Jackson? Huh?”
“Get angry at me. Tell me how much I fucked up. Tell me I behaved like a complete piece of shit. Tell me that I made you put down your guard for nothing. Tell me that I made you fall in love with me and behave like I did as well only to let you fall and disappear. Tell me how much of a coward I was to ghost you, to only message you when I needed you. Tell me what an egocentric asshole I was and that I don’t deserve you and I should go to hell for that. Get angry at me for being emotionally unavailable and putting myself first. Yell at me for making you believe I fell for you when in fact I didn’t. Please, get angry at me!”
The line turned silent. He confirmed your biggest fears – he indeed fooled you into believing that he fell for you. Purposely. You couldn’t keep up with the bazillion questions you formed in your mind as you thought of an answer.
Why did you do that? Why did you play me like that? Why did you lie to me? Was it that easy to fuck with me? Why were you not honest? Was I not enough for you? Is there something wrong with me? Why are you so evil? And why the fuck do you call me in the middle of the night to tell me all of this?
You felt your heart going cold, trying to numb out the pain he had caused you. It seemed like he waited an eternity for your answer: “Why would I?”
You hung up on him. Jackson was no good for you and now you had your answers. You had to choose yourself, choose your peace of mind over him. If you didn’t, you’d never break free of that abuse.
Jackson on the other side gazed lifelessly at the screen of his phone. He knew you were gone; you didn’t even wait for him to answer you. But he still said it: “So, I know you still care.”
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