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mothwingwritings · 4 years

Text

Treasured Friend

F!Reader X (Yandere) Joseph and mentioned F!readerX Caeser

Warnings: Yandere, drugging, cheating, noncon heavy petting, Joseph being a horny jerk

This is my very self-indulgent first shot as a yandere X reader fic (because I am a horrible goblin who loves me some yanderes) which I am a bit nervous about finally posting!!!! AHHHH! I feel like I made Joseph a little OOC, so I apologize for that. I also jumped back and forth from Joseph’s POV to readers so sorry if it gets a bit confusing. ^^;; And why did I have to do this to my girl Suzie Q? Hasn’t she been through enough??? Smh. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!!! Thank you!!!

'I shouldn't be here.'

His brain nagged him as he stood before your door, fist posed inches from the wood, primed for knocking. He stood still, frozen in... What, fear? Confusion? This wasn't like Joseph Joestar at all. He was, after all, the proud, boisterous man who's fought off countless foes, succeeded in being a skilled Hamon user, and ultimately defeated a perfect being that threatened the entire world.

So with all that bravado why the hell was he held up in front of a door?

Were these just nerves trying to block him from seeing a cherished old friend? Ridiculous, there was absolutely no reason at all for this horrible feeling of guilt to be weighing so heavily on his chest. Because that's all you were to him, right? Just his dear old friend?

He snorted at his own cruel joke

He heard you moving inside, as well as sounds of what appeared to be metal clanking together and water running. Perhaps you were cooking dinner? It was around that time of day.

'Maybe I should come back later,' He mused to himself, 'if she's busy with something I probably shouldn't bother her. Besides, I’d rather have her full attention than half of it when we are catching up, right?'

He lowered his hand for a moment at this thought, before quickly shaking his head, an urge of conviction flowing through his body.

'No,' he thought, finally connecting his fist to the door sharply, 'I came all this way. I need to see her now.'

"Coming," He heard muffled through the door. It was hard to make out, but it was undeniably your voice. Joseph couldn't contain the smile that that voice brought him.

After several moments, the door lurched open with a whiny screech. He's sure you spoke something, probably along the lines of 'who is it?' But with his heart beating so fast, the only sound he could manage to focus on was the loud thump echoing in his ears. He felt his breath catch as the door flew all the way open, his gaze falling upon the girl he hadn't seen in years, but hadn't left his mind for even a second in that time.

Your eyes widened a bit from the initial shock, followed by your signature smile that could light up the whole room, instantly igniting a fire in his heart. God, how he missed that smile, how he loved that smile.

"Joseph?" you laughed. An airy, joyful noise, "Joseph Joestar, is that really you?"

Her good mood was contagious, and Joseph's smile spread even wider. He was elated at how you responded to his presence.

'So she is happy to see me. She missed me, possibly even as much as I missed her.'

His heart thumped louder.

"(Name)," the towering man beamed, throwing his arms open dramatically as he shot you a playful grin, "Of course, the one and only! Now, the next thing you are going to say is 'come here so I can give you a hug!'"

Your laugh grew as you tried in vain to hide it behind your small hand. Joseph didn't like that habit of yours; he thrived on seeing you happy and loved it even more when he was the one to bring you that joy.

"I wasn't going to say it I was just going to do it," you teased, "But I guess I can indulge you just this once... Come here so I can give you a hug!"

And with those words, you passed by the door, making your way to Joseph. When you were directly in front of him, you softly launched off the ground, expecting him to meet you half way. He reciprocated, pulling you in to him, your feet dangling several inches from the ground. Just like how it used to be when the two of you were still living in Lisa Lisa's mansion. Also just like old times, he was more than happy to oblige, eagerly scooping you up as he pressed his face firmly into the crook of your neck.

Joseph mused over how good you felt pressed against him. Warm and soft, your hugs were always so inviting and enveloping, even with how much smaller than him you were. As your arms wrapped more snugly around his neck, he buried his face deeper into your neck and started to get lost in you. He breathed deeply, getting a whiff of the perfume you always used to wear. He was glad you still wore it. It always was one of his favorites. He squeezed you tightly, relishing the feeling of your affections. It was unfair how your body fit so perfectly against his.

"God how long has it been," your voice was soft, emotive, and so close. A shiver shot down his spine, "6 years? 7?"

"Too long," he responded immediately, his strong arms constricting you just a bit tighter, "I missed you, (name)."

Another playful laugh, "I missed you too, Jojo," you began to break contact, giving his arm a soft slap on your way down, "and I can't even imagine what owes me this surprise visit, but I am excited to find out."

You swung your door open, scooting out of the way a bit as you lifted your arm in a sweeping motion, "Please, come in! You came just in time, dinner is almost ready!"

It was shocking, to say the least.

The last time you had seen the man before you seemed like a lifetime ago. As soon as your eyes fell upon him, the memories flooded violently into your brain, the bittersweet nostalgia sweeping you away...

Two of your best friends had recently been wed and there was nothing but love in your heart for the both of them. Suzie Q, your best friend since you were small, had finally found her other half. You had joked with her a lot when you were younger that she was too easily wooed by a pretty face and too quick to give her heart away to men that were unworthy of her. She would laugh at you in response, shoot you a wink, and make some comment about having a lot of love to give so she'll eventually find the right guy, even if she does have to kiss a few frogs along the way.

That didn’t stop your worry for her, though. You always let her do her own thing and gave her space, but you were certainly not shy about letting her know you were not fond of most of the men she dated. On average they were arrogant, cocky, and loud womanizers who were also (unfortunately) extremely handsome.

So when you met Joseph Joestar, your protective nature instantly kicked in.

Both you and Suzie had been employed by Lisa Lisa, though in your case, maybe "saved" was a more appropriate term. You had come from a broken home and had a difficult upbringing, and you had spent many nights running to Suzie's house to get escape from your situation. When you grew a bit older and Suzie had been working for a while with Lisa Lisa, she was quick to recommend you as well. You were deeply intimidated and worried she may take one look at your past and skill set and cast you aside, but Suzie had talked you up so much that Lisa Lisa essentially hired you on the spot. You spent the next several years working your ass off to prove yourself to be all your friend had talked you up to be, and in the process gained a rather charmed existence surrounded by people you loved. You had a nice, safe home you shared with your treasured friend. The employer and teacher you greatly respected had taught you how to be strong, self-sufficient, and overcome any challenge life might through your way. In the hustle and bustle of it all, you had even met a charming man (one of Lisa Lisa’s pupils) that you had begun to develop feelings for...

And then Joseph showed up.

With the introduction of this cocky and loud brit, everything changed. From the get go, his frisky and flirty nature irked you. Throughout your years you had grown to a woman who respected manners and you took pride in the fact that not much in life could truly irritate you. As if honing in on this, you became a favorite target of Joseph’s endless teasing.

As much as you tried, he quickly had become unavoidable (Lisa Lisa had assigned you to watch over him, after all). You would cringe at the way he would ogle you, your teacher, and your best friend. He was a show off, always trying to one up Caesar (the man who had become the focus of your affections) to impress you, something you imagined Joseph had hoped would gain your approval. Needless to say, it did not work. Nearly everything the man did seem to grate deeply on your nerves, from the 'cute' nicknames he would make up for you, to the way he treated your blossoming skills dismissively, to how he'd casually find SOME way to touch you at every encounter. In the span on of a few days you had nearly reached your limit. You would purposely find something, ANYTHING, to do around the mansion to avoid him. But even then, you knew eventually you'd hear his booming voice break your small window of peace as it had become a habit of his to hunt you down each day after his daily trainings.

"Hey, (Name), there you are!!! You are looking a little bored, what say you come with me and we liven up the day a bit, eh?"

"(Name)! My favorite girl! Looks like you could use a break, and I know just the person you should take it with~"

"(Nick name) you were with Caesar AGAIN!? Come on, wouldn't you rather spend your time with someone who reeally~ knows how to treat a lady?"

It was all so obnoxious, but your blood didn't begin to truly boil until you had found him one day with Suzie Q.

You had warned her, or at least tried, of all he had put you through. The flirting, the disregard of your personal space, the shots fired at Caesar. At first she seemed to be listening, giving him the cold shoulder and dishing back whatever he handed to her, rolling her eyes jokingly at you whenever mention of him was made.

But as the weeks wore on her unamused glare changed to a fond twinkle. Her indignant frown when he would cast his attentions her way morphing into a coquettish smile. Much to your dismay, you knew you were rapidly watching your best friend fall in love.

"Caesar we can't let this happen," you grumbled one day to your lover, your head resting snugly in the crook of his neck as you curled against him during a break in his training.

"Let what happen, Bambina?" Caesar responded to your sudden remark, his fingers lazily weaving through your (color) tresses.

"Suzie and Joseph," you sighed heavily, "I've seen the way that she has been looking at him recently, and I know that look all too well. I have to get her away from him somehow..."

The blonde Italian hummed, "Hmm, a look huh? And just what look has our dear Suzie been giving Jojo?"

"It's the look she gives men before they break her heart."'

Caesar laughed, a pleasant rumble jolting your body. You pulled yourself up, steadying your arm across Caesar's broad chest so you could look directly into his eyes.

"What's so funny," you pouted, trying not to be swayed by the beautiful shimmer of his sea green eyes, “I’m serious! Joseph is bad news for her! I don't want my best friend to be used up by some pretty playboy and then tossed aside once he's done with her."

"I apologize, I didn’t mean to laugh. But carina did you and I not start similarly? Did people not also warn you to stay away from the great womanizer Zeppeli, a man who would always be nothing more than someone who would break beautiful girl’s hearts?"

You averted your gaze slightly, a light blush rising to your cheeks, "This is different! You understood my boundaries and never once acted high and mighty around me. I definitely had my reservations with you but," the blush on your cheeks grew a bit darker before you continued, “In the end you proved yourself to be a safe and worthy person to give my heart to."

A doting smile overtook Caesar's face as he leaned up, planting a firm kiss on top of your head.

"And I am forever grateful you took that gamble with me carina, as you have become the most treasured part of my life. Since you have come into my life, I have been a better, stronger man. But...."

"…But?"

Caesar sighed, gently shaking his head, "But you have to understand bambina that Joseph and I are different people with different personalities and different backgrounds," Caesar gently took your chin in his fingers, turning your gaze back his way, "I definitely don't approve of the hounding he gives Master, Suzie, and especially YOU, but Jojo is not a bad person. There's more going on inside him than you realize, and as I have been training by his side daily I can't help but admire how far he's come in this short span of time. He may come off as clownish, but after you've been through some things with him you see just how strong his ambition is. He’s a man fueled by a strong drive and tender heart. Carina mia, if Suzie Q is the woman he has chosen to bestow his true affections upon, I dare say that woman will live a very passionate life and never be left wanting."

As Caesar spoke, your eyes softened. You mulled over his words in your head, considering the possibility that maybe they would make a good pair. Perhaps Joseph wasn't just an annoying brute, maybe that was all a screen he hid his true feelings and intentions behind. Though it didn't entirely excuse him of all the things he had done, hearing Caesar explain it certainly did give you a new perspective on the man.

You sighed dejectedly, "OK, maybe you are right. He may get on my last nerve, but at the same time I haven't really given him much of a chance to get to know me, and I him. Maybe... Maybe he would be a good match for Suzie? Besides, we are both adults now, even if I still have qualms over him I need to have faith that my best friend is doing what's right for her."

Caesar playfully winked at you, "Exactly. Suzie is a big girl, and Joseph a big boy. If they desire to be together, I hope you can come to a point where you give them your blessing," Caesar sighed deeply, slowly running his hand through his hair, "Besides, with his attentions focused on Suzie that means he will leave you alone now."

"Oh, I see. Ulterior motives," You teased, flippantly waving your hand.

He smirked, "Is it so wrong for a man to want his woman to himself? Cuore mio, don't break my heart by telling me you actually secretly enjoy Jojo's affections?"

You snickered, giving the blonde a playful smack, "Please, you know I only fall for incredibly dashing Italian men. But I must say, I am surprised with all the trash-talking he gives you that you are standing up for him and speaking so highly of him right now."

Caesar shrugged, his eyes falling closed as he pulled you snugly back down against him, "What can I say? I guess he's growing on me."

Over time, he would grow on you as well.

After all you had gone through, it was impossible not to. Not long after that conversation, your life was wrought with tragedy and terror. The insurmountable threat of the pillar men coupled with the incredible loss of losing Caesar nearly destroyed you. You felt helpless and terrified, every good thing in life you had worked so hard to achieve being ripped from you in the blink of an eye.

You ached for your lost love, and agonized over the fate of your friends. What could you do? What would become of the world if you weren't victorious right here, right now? It was too much weight to bear.

And yet Joseph took it head on, becoming your rock when everything else in the world seemed so unsteady. With his signature smirk and twinkling green eyes he held you in his strong grasp before the final encounter. You’ll never forget the feel of one of his hands gently jostling your hair as he told you it would all be OK, that he would protect you and come out victorious.

And even with all the odds against him, his enemy quite literally transforming into the perfect being with no weaknesses, he came out the winner. At that time, you could neither laugh nor cry. You just stared on in awe and relief when you saw Joseph triumphant and alive, on a day that was supposed to be his funeral, no less. Your body went numb, collapsing on itself with the gravity of all that you had been through. Jojo didn't just save you and your friends, he saved the entire world.

It was hard not to give Suzie your blessing after that.

But that was all around 7 years ago, and in that time span you had unfortunately grown apart from the Joestar family. In the beginning of their marriage you and Suzie talked all the time. Visits to and from where both of you ended up settling were common. You always felt welcomed and loved in their home, and you counted it a blessing that you were able to stay so close to the ones you treasured, even with how hectic adult life had become.

However, the months kept passing, and in time, Suzie called less frequently. At first she would brush off your concern, saying she was just tired, or things were busy, her schedule had become so hectic. You would give her space in these moments, but couldn't help but feel a gnawing discomfort when the she went from being a bit unresponsive, to just out right avoiding your calls all together.

Sometimes when you would call you would get Jojo, and hearing his peppy voice sound so genuinely excited to hear from you instantly took a load off your shoulders. He would always reiterate the things Suzie told you to help put your heart at ease. She wasn’t lying or avoiding you, she truly was just held up with something.

That is until Jojo stopped answering the calls as well.

It wouldn’t be until a year later when you got a curt letter in the mail that changed everything. In Suzie’s handwriting, it asked you to please cease all communication with her and Joseph, explaining they were to be moving and starting completely anew in a faraway town and that they wished you not to be a part of that new life.

You felt hollow. You reached out through letter, phone, even trying to get Lisa Lisa to relay messages from you, but no efforts bore any fruit. Your emotions went from confused and heart broken, to bitter and upset. What had you done? Was it something you said or did? Why were they treating you like this, without even explaining themselves? You drove yourself to the point of madness scouring every inch of your brain for something that would want to make them abandon you, but in the end, could think of nothing.

For your own sanity, you tried your best to forget them and move on. Unfortunately for you, you were a horribly sentimental person, and dropping them the same way they had dropped you was something you could not do.

But more years passed, and as they say, time heals all wounds. Losing your friends got less painful and you were able to forge new relationships and start new endeavors. You had made a comfortable life for yourself in that time, even with Suzie and Joseph hanging on in the back of your thoughts, like phantoms you couldn’t exorcise.

So to see a phantom before you in the flesh, sitting merrily at your two person table with that all too familiar mischievous grin spread wide across his handsome face, his spirited eyes peering into your very soul. It was jarring, but you couldn’t help but be overcome with joy.

“Smells delicious,” Jojo exaggeratedly sighed, a look of bliss passing over his face, “I’ve been on the road so long, and it’s been forever since I’ve had a beautiful woman’s home cooked meal.”

You giggled, hand wrapped snugly around your mug of cooled tea as you brought it to your lips, “Well I’m not master chef, but I hope it lives up to your expectations.”

“Please, your cooking was always superior to nearly everyone in the mansion, I am sure it has only gotten better with time (name),”

Small talk carried on for several minutes, before a dense silence hung over the two of you. Your eyes darted to him, taking him in as his gaze swept over the content of your dining room, taking in all of the new and the old. You inhaled deeply.

“Joseph.”

The serious tone of your voice garnered the man’s attention, his bright eyes focusing fully back on you.

You looked held his gaze, the confusion and pain from the past emanating from your unwavering stare.

“Why are you here?”

“Because I missed you, (Name),” The words passed his lips before he could stop them, but the small blush that lit your cheeks more than made up for his brief loss of control over his feelings.

Honestly, he could think of no other way to respond when you were looking at him like that.

He watched intently as you shook your head a bit and closed your eyes, a quivering smile on your lips. He could tell you were fighting valiantly to suppress long held back emotions that may spill out at any second. He was in the same boat, just a little better at it than you were.

“I missed you too,” he noted the slight shake in your voice, “but Joseph… What happened? You and Suzie just left, and I…”

Your voice trailed off, another strong wave of emotions washing over your features. It was something he noticed about you after Caesar had passed, that you were no less stunning in heart break. Joseph stared at you, mesmerized. He hated seeing you in pain, but he couldn’t help the allure of seeing those tears dance just at the edge of your eyes. You were crying for him… crying because you missed him. His heart rate began to quicken. This surely wasn’t the first time tears had been spilled on his behalf. Had he being gone kept you up at night? Did you dream of him and his return?

“How is Suzie?”

The question ripped him forcibly from his previous thoughts. It was asked so earnestly, with such barely concealed desperation, it felt wrong to lie in response. Nerves began to take over, his hands sweating as he absent mindedly fidgeted with the mug in front of him. How could he possibly answer this? Should he really tell you the truth? Could he honestly tell you the reason Suzie began to distance herself from you was because of him? Should he confess and say he couldn’t get you out of his mind, even with his new wife at his side, and after sometime his wife caught on? Should he explain to you that Suzie had always been a replacement in his heart for you, a replacement he thought he could grow to love as fervently as he loved you, but never quite stuck? Should he confess that it was always you he thought of in the place of Suzie when he kissed, hugged, or even spoke with her? Should he tell you that while he made love to your dearest friend, it was you he was imagining beneath him? Should he divulge that on more than one occasion, it was your name he would scream while he came?

Joseph had single handedly ruined the lifelong friendship you had with Suzie. She had done everything she could to make him hers, giving him the entirety of her love. But in the end she realized she could never win over what he felt for you. This caused Suzie’s resentment and animosity towards you to grow, but she also knew in her heart these feelings were misplaced and unfair. So instead of lashing out on her closest friend and airing all the couple’s dirty laundry, she tried to distance herself and her husband from you. Her thought process being that if you were not around in any capacity to distract him, his fondness for you would lessen. In reality, the opposite had occurred.

When Suzie had found he had still been taking your calls without her knowledge, it drove her to the edge. Even after all he had done, all he continued to do, Suzie still loved Joseph, and adamantly believed she could make their marriage work. So she demanded they move, cutting ties with you completely so they could focus on being a family again.

He agreed, but he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because he truly felt bad for the woman he conned into marrying him when his heart clearly belonged to you. Maybe he did it because somewhere inside of himself he truly believed he could learn to love Suzie the way he loved you. Maybe it was because even though Caesar had long been gone, he felt dirty for longing for the woman whose heart and soul belonged to his best friend. Regardless, he agreed, and they left you behind with nothing more than a short letter that he knew would lead you to anguish.

“Joseph you are scaring me, how is Suzie?”

Joseph was snapped back to reality by your concerned voice. He chuckled nervously, forcing a smile on his face before he spoke.

“Suzie is OK,” he began softly, considering his words, “We… We had some issues earlier on in our marriage.”

“…Issues,” you questioned, “What kind of issues?”

Joseph averted his gaze, his grip tightening on the mug. This lie had to be convincing. It was too soon to share his true intentions now.

“Mostly things brought on by the stress of being a young couple out on our own,” he began slowly, trying to keeps his nerves in check, “Well, that and the whole battle with the Pillar Men and its after math. It was a lot to take in. It was a mess that she didn’t want to burden you with, especially when she knew you were still reeling from Caesar and in the process of starting your own life.”

He was happy his lie seemed to relieve you a bit, but a deep frown was still engraved on your lips.

“As our marriage went on, those issues became bigger issues,” he continued, his own frown deepening, “I think we both had a lot of expectations and feelings about what we thought was going to happen once we became husband and wife, and we didn’t necessarily share those expectations or feelings with each other. We were young, on our own for the first time, still figuring ourselves out. Things were bound to get messy at points… It just ended up getting messier than we bargained for,” he sighed, his eyes returning to yours, holding within them an ounce of misery, “Suzie is fine, (name). She’s still her healthy, lively self. She just didn’t want to drag you down in our ongoing bullshit.” He finished with a melancholy grin.

Another silence settled in the air as you collected yourself, taking a deep inhale before speaking.

"Suzie is healthy… That's so good to hear," your voice trembled, "I was so worried all these years," you shook your head, focusing back to Joseph, "But I can't believe it... Things seemed to be going so well, I had no idea you two were going through it- ARE going through it. I feel dumb realizing it now. We did go through so much in such a short amount of time. The wedding was such a whirlwind, it makes sense…"

Joseph watched as your hand clenched at what he was sure was a steadily blooming ache in your chest. What was going through your mind at this moment? How were you processing the lies that fell from his lips? He was sure you were beating yourself up right now, your brain chastising you for not realizing the marital and life issues your dear friends were going through sooner. His eyes widened as he noticed your whole body softly quivering, tears beginning to fall slowly down your rosy cheeks. You looked so small, so hurt. He was a piece of shit for being the cause of this, but he also couldn’t deny the twisted feeling of excitement seeing you this way caused.

As far as he was concerned, those tear filled eyes were proof of your strong feelings for him.

"(Name)..." He whispered, enchanted as you fought back waves of emotion. It took all of his will power to not give in, to not push the table over and take you again in his arms. While you would melt into him he’d kiss away those anguished tears, promising to you the only time you’d ever cry again would be when he’d make you feel his love so fully, so strongly, that your over stimulated body wouldn’t be able to handle it anymore.

"Joseph," Your cracking voice struggled to say, drawing the man from his rampant fantasy.

“I never want you or Suzie to feel that way ever again. I know you were trying to protect me, but I never want you to ever feel like you have to hide anything from me ever again.”

Your conviction grew as you continued, “You two keeping things from me, going away and cutting all contact, that hurts me much more than any issues you have been fighting through ever could. I am never too hurt, busy, or tried to be there for either of you. I love you both so much, you are my family… So please, please don’t worry for me when you are going through so much on your own.”

You smiled warmly at him, blinking the tears from your eyes.

His heart was about to burst.

"(Name)... For now... Can we just forget about Suzie?"

The question that followed the next brief gap in conversation threw you for a total loop. Your conversation to this point had been going amicably, even if you were focusing your questions on your MIA friend and getting rather emotional.

"... Forget about Suzie? Joseph, what do you-"

"I don't want to talk about her right now." He cut you off roughly, a bite in his voice that alarmed you.

He took note of the dismayed look on your face his comment caused, and his expression instantly became lighter.

"I'm sorry. It's just a bit painful to talk about her right now,” he spoke, an uncharacteristic nervous tinge to his voice.

“The whole reason I am here now is because we are going through it again and I happened to be traveling in the area I knew you used to live. I took a gamble hoping it would still be you residing in this little house,” he flourished his hand, small smirk ghosting his lips as he took in the scenery once more, “and I’m glad it was.”

A moment of silence hung heavily in the air before he continued, his voice lower than before, “I really needed to talk to you, (Name). I needed to hear your voice. No one else…”

His voice drifted off a bit, his eyes softening as he seemed to get lost in his thoughts. Before you could comment, he snapped out of it, continuing on in a voice that was pleasant, but forced “What am I doing talking about this stuff? I came to share a few laughs and have a good time, not bog you down with my issues! It’s been such a long time since I have seen you (name), I am sure so much has happened in your life. I want to hear it all!"

While he spoke you noticed the quick change in posture from lax and inviting to rigid. His fingers tapping the wood of your table erratically, the set of his jaw had become stern. Everything about him was suddenly on edge. Your heart sank witnessing him like this, even now trying to hide things from you in order to not weigh down the joy of your meeting after so long.

However, you had already decided something. Joseph had come all this way to find some refuge with you, and that’s just what you were going to offer.

"Joseph," your voice dropped low, your hands sliding across the table to catch his own in a gentle hold. You felt his body jolt a bit, surprised by the sudden contact. You squeezed slightly, hoping to get across your feelings of reassurance. You smiled tenderly up at him, and after a moment, his hands shakily returned your hold.

“I’m so sorry… How could I have not noticed that you were in a rough patch? Suzie has been my rock through every trial life has ever thrown my way, and you have become equally as important,” you sighed in frustration, “You both can read me like a book yet I couldn't even tell how much you have been struggling. All of your laughs and smiles, they were masking your true pain, and through it all you both still put me first, not wanting to burden me with anything that was happening because you knew all I had gone through in my own life.”

Tears stung your eyes once more with the realization, “Joseph please, I don’t want you to struggle alone. I want to be your rock, too.”

You heard the man release a breathy sigh, the rough pad of his thumb gingerly starting to caress your firmly gripped hand.

"God, have your hands always been this soft?”

“W-what,” The out of place question took you by surprise, a tiny yelp of shock escaping your lips as Joseph repositioned himself, leaning his torso heavily over the table, threatening your personal space.

His grip on your hands tightened, lifting the digits slowly up to his mouth. A lucid smile graced his plush lips as they ghosted the tips of your fingers. His warm breath on your hand would be almost soothing if not for the obsessive gleam he held in his eyes as they bore into you. A shudder ran through your body, which had become stiff with discomfort. This small gesture between good friends quickly morphed into something much more intimate, the way he was looking at you feeling oddly menacing.

“Your hands,” he laughed a bit, his voice nostalgic, “I remember even during the most rigorous of the training that we were put through, your hands were strong, but also always so gentle,” his lips pressed harder into your flesh, his eyes narrowing as he continued to speak, “but I forgot just how soft they were… How good they feel when you touch me-“

As if breaking a horrible spell, the timer on your stove began to blare, causing you both to jump. You took the opportunity to quickly pull away, pushing yourself up and away from the table and Joseph as you hurried to address the now finished meal.

“Give me just a moment and I’ll have dinner out,” you tried to speak as calmly as you could, clenching your own hands together as your brain scrambled to make sense of what had just occurred, “wait right there.”

Perhaps the move was too soon, but he could think of no other way to respond to you suddenly grabbing him like that, being so earnest and vulnerable with your feelings. Sitting across from you as he indulged in the dinner you had prepared, it would have been easy to get lost in the domestic feel of it all. However he could tell you were growing increasingly uncomfortable despite his best efforts to bring everything back to normal, and he mentally scolded himself for that. Your once welcoming gestures had now become guarded, suspicious. Your bright eyes now looked at him with confusion, even a bit of distrust. He was doing his best to make the conversation jovial again. He was complimenting your cooking, bringing up past humorous exploits, asking you about your new job, your new life, everything and anything he could get about what you had been doing, who you were now.

Yet you kept succeeding in bringing the conversation back to Suzie.

At first it filled him with guilt, hearing his wife’s name fall from your lips with so much concern, now more amplified by his slip up. But the guilt was quickly becoming aggravation as even his best attempts to redirect the conversation kept sneakily coming back to Suzie.

As the tense dinner was winding down, he could tell you were trying to hurry things along. Your eyes darted to the clock more often, and you kept mentioning how late it was becoming, how you had something you had to wake up early for( regardless of it being the weekend). It wasn’t until you began to collect the plates that Joseph began to slightly panic. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go… You both were supposed to be so lost in catching up with each other that time seemed to no longer exist; enjoying each other’s company so thoroughly you’d keep the conversation going into the wee hours of the morning.

Joseph sighed a bit after you turned down his offer to help.

‘I was hoping to avoid having to do this,’ Joseph scowled, slipping the small vial from his pocket, ‘but I guess I have no choice.’

After the situation involving the Pillar Men nearly poisoning him to death, the Speedwagon Foundation really stepped up their game in the drug department. An entire new branch was created as a security measure to protect against threats of that nature, and as such, a lot of experimentation and creation was going on in their labs. Joseph couldn’t help but be intrigued when Robert had offhandedly mentioned one day they had successfully created a new kind of drug, one that was nearly impossible to detect or trace, but knocked someone out quickly for several hours. Robert had been initially confused by Joseph’s questions regarding the drug, as he usually didn’t take much interest in the more science-y aspects of their organization at all, but eventually gave him a small sample of the drug, warning him to not let it fall into the wrong hands.

Watching himself quickly pour a bit into your half-finished wine glass, he mused if his own hands could possibly be considered the wrong ones.

You came back in the room shortly after the deed was done, taking your seat across from him tentatively.

“I know you mentioned it, but I suppose it is getting quite late, huh?” Joseph questioned, doing his best to hide the frown that formed when he saw how relieved that comment seemed to make you.

“Yeah,” you responded, twirling a strand of your hair around your finger absentmindedly, “I hate to rush us after it’s been so long.”

Joseph smiled warmly, batting his hand playfully, “No need to apologize, I did just barge in here unannounced after all. I was lucky you treated an uninvited guest to a meal and a drink.”

You exhaled, your voice coming out softly “You are hardly an ‘uninvited guest’, but next time… I would really love to see Suzie as well. I know you told me not to bring her up and you seem to be avoiding talking about her altogether… But I really miss my best friend.”

You looked away as if you were ashamed to mention her around him. It was another stab to his heart.

“Hey (name),” he began, continuing once your eyes had locked back on his, “I want to apologize. For dumping this all on you, and for earlier when I was holding your hands. My mind has been such a mess, and I realize running to you to escape wasn’t the most mature or well thought out plan.”

He watched your body begin to grow more lax, causing relief to wash over him.

“It’s just you have always had a way of making me feel better (feel whole, he wanted to add, but thought better of it), and I knew this time wouldn’t be any different. It was selfish.”

Before he could say more, you chimed in with a small laugh, taking him off guard. Glancing your way, his eyes widened as he drank you in. You were smiling again, a true smile. Relaxed and happy, your eyes crinkled as they held his. Seeing you this way again felt as if all his troubles had been lifted away. You were infectious, alluring, hypnotizing.

Intoxicating.

“I’m sorry,” you spoke in between small laughs, “It’s just… the Joseph Joestar from years ago would never own up to being selfish, nor would he so sincerely apologize without throwing in some kind of quip,”

Joseph’s heart began to race as he watched you recline, check resting on one hand, the other now bringing the wine glass to your lips, lips that were still so tauntingly smiling at him.

“It’s nice to hear, and you are forgiven. I apologize as well if I seemed a bit put off. It just took me off guard,” you took a sip, Joseph’s breath hitched, “I guess I should have just chocked it up to your old ways, but don’t think I won’t tell Suzie about it someday, you flirt.”

You winked at him playfully, but he was so lost in bliss, it didn’t even register.

“Jojo, are you OK,” you questioned your now suspiciously quiet friend as you took another swig of wine, this one nearly emptying the glass, “I didn’t offend you, did I? I was just joking around.”

You pouted at him. His face had once again gone hard, his intense eyes not once straying from your face.

You chuckle lightly; trying to conceal the nerves his looks gave you, “Jojo please, you are kind of freaking me out again…”

His lips curled into a smile, his eyes keeping their strict hold on you, “It’s alright (name), no offense taken. In fact, I feel very good right now… how about you?”

As if on cue, a sharp pain pulsed through your brain. You winced, your hand flying up to grab at your pounding head. A moan escaped your lips as your eyes snapped shut, everything in the world was suddenly too bright and too loud.

“(Name)?”

“S-sorry,” you stuttered, the pain growing by the moment, “I just suddenly got hit with a horrible headache. Maybe I drank too much wine,” your voice trailed off as you noticed your vision beginning to blur.

Joseph laughed merrily, his seeming lack of care for your condition adding confusion to the already puzzling scenario.

“You barely had any! Such a lightweight,” He pushed himself away from the table, towering over you as his sharp eyes continuously bore down upon your form. Were you imagining that devious gleam they were holding?

“You need to be more careful, (name). People could take advantage of you this way.”

Your eyes widened, blood running cold. Something was off, terribly off. You weren’t just imagining things. The look he held in his eyes and the way he began to stalk slowly closer to you, like a predator approaching its prey, was all horribly wrong. Your breath hitched as he reached your side, his aura overwhelming you entirely in your sickly state. You felt his fingertips ghost the skin of your shoulder, traveling slowly up your neck to gently tuck a rouge stand of hair behind your ear, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. His touch was so delicate, but his eyes… His eyes had now completely glazed over, his breathing becoming heavier as he glared down at you in crazed admiration.

“(Name),” his breathy voice quivered, “Let me take care of you.”

The full extent of the danger you were in crashed down upon you. You pushed off the table, trying to put as much distance between him and yourself as you possibly could. You sprang to your feet, the sudden movement causing another rush of debilitating pain to pulse through your brain. Your vision had become so hazy that you could barely make out the man in front of you, and the tears that were pooling in your eyes weren’t helping any. You backed away slowly, your legs straining as you felt your body become impossibly heavy. At this point the only thing keeping you alert and upright was the threat that loomed before you.

“You need to leave Joseph,” You commanded, hoping your voice sounded much braver than you felt, “Right now.”

“Leave, with you barely able to stand on your feet? What kind of man would I be if I left you like this right now?” Though you had a hard time seeing his expression, you could definitely hear anticipation dripping from his voice, the implications causing you to shudder.

You grimaced, a cold sweat starting to coat your skin, “Get out of my house Joseph or I’ll-“

Before you could say another word, his lips crashed hard into your own, causing a short circuit in your brain. You let out a small gasp, granting him further access as he began feverishly conquering your mouth with his own. You tried to twist away, but that only caused him to pull you taut against him, locking you in place. His large hands snaked down your back, cupping and groping your curves as he traveled lower and lower.

His lips eventually released your own, instantly shifting focus to the exposed skin of your neck. As he sucked and nibbled, marking you in ways he had no right to, your resistance was growing less and less. In a short time, you couldn’t hold yourself up at all any longer, relying solely on Joseph’s constricting grip to keep you vertical. A whimper escaped your lips as he latched onto your neck particularly hard, his hands at the same time gripping your ass with a possessive squeeze.

“I can make you feel so good, (Name),” he whispered in your ear gruffly, lust dripping from his words, “You deserve the love I can give you.

“Joseph,” you choked, tears streaming steadily down your cheeks as the last of your consciousness was fading away, “Why are you doing this?”

“Because you belong with me baby, you always have.”

Those were the last words you heard as your body succumbed to the darkness.

#yandere x reader #yandere jjba #yandere joseph joestar #reader insert #jjba reader insert #reader x joseph joestar #reader x caeser zeppeli #yandere behavior #yandere jojos bizarre adventure #yandere jojo x reader #i am so nervous loooool #yandere imagine #I am trying to get better at one shot fics #so this is good practice #enjoy!!!#battle tendency #battle tendies

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juleshellstrom · 4 years

Text

( erika linder , she/they/he , nonbinary , lesbian ) ━━ Is that THE ICARIAN ? No , that’s just JULES HELLSTROM. Urban legend has it that they were born on OCTOBER , 16TH , 1993 , work as a WILDLIFE OFFICER , and have been living in Gaitlin for 3 YEARS. They might like to think they’re brave , but their biggest fear is BEING UNABLE TO DEFEND THEMSELF. Be careful , you might not make it to halloween. ( ooc info: lauren , 23 , she/they/he )

one thing: is im very slow and have a disability and it’s rly hard for me to keep up with and concentrate on really long stuff, so keeping interactions just a bit on the shorter side will get our characters much farther with me lmao.

you can find her pinterest HERE, and her playlist HERE.

BASICS; BRIEF ABOUT/FAMILY/SMALL DETAILS

Honestly she might stab someone (if they actually somehow know her name somehow) if they call her Juliet instead of Jules.

She isn’t religious and has honestly never thought about it.

She has a twin brother and he’s honestly like… too much for her to deal with lol. The only man she will ever accept or love. She loves him, but she will most definitely hit his ass when he’s annoying her. lskjdflskjdf

She doesn’t have a close relationship with her parents. There wasn’t really anything wrong with her upbringing (wow, me? making someone’s childhood average?) but they were never like close in the slightest. Her parents didn’t really want to be together, they only were for her and her brother, and the tenseness just radiated constantly. It wasn’t awful, but it obviously wasn’t ideal and even as a kid she’d much rather be playing with bugs in the backyard than hanging out inside. Once they’d grown up, her parents split. She has a more easy going relationship with them now, but she doesn’t feel the need to call.

She has a few tattoos here and there, for sure, but I haven’t picked them out yet.

She has two cats, and a snake. She doesn’t have a dog of her own, because she fosters them instead!

RELATIONSHIPS/SEXUALITY

TLDR below. Her gender is very difficult. It’s a very common lesbian experience to be caught in this weird gender limbo. Not truly cis, but not really trans either. ((((Lesbians in my support groups all joke, “No gender, just d*ke” slkdflskdjf)))) So many of us connect to being a woman and womanhood only through our love for other women. It’s very interesting and very complex, and very hard to explain to someone who doesn’t experience it. But yeah!!!

Butch energy.

TLDR: Jules is (def soft butch) lesbian, and her gender is in a limbo of trans nonbinary.

On that… god, she loves women. Like, how can you not? They are soft, and all of them are complex, and gorgeous in so many ways.

So, Jules is definitely a stereotypical lesbiab in that she lowkey falls in love (in some way, and not necessarily romantically, just such a deep appreciation) w every lady she meets because, uh? Women? Magical, stunning, brave, phenomenal, spectacular, showstopping.

Because of this, Jules has a very hard time being in relationships. She doesn’t have like issues with it, and isn’t like completely afraid of commitment, it’s just kind of how it is. She loves to meet new women, and learn about them, etc. Butttt it’s not out of the question, if she meets someone super special. Artemis did get stuck on Callisto for awhile.

OCCUPATION

She is a wildlife officer, so you can find her around any local parks (protected water and forests, etc) doing her thing.

Making sure people aren’t abusing the nature or the animals, watching for wounded animals, protecting hunters, etc. All kinds of stuff.

She was never really interested in college, just not into it. She’s not really the scholarly type. She could have gone into zoology or something of that nature, and she thought about it, but it ultimately just wasn’t her thing. She’s happy where she’s at.

She loves archery sports, and hunting for ecosystem protection and sustenance.

PERSONALITY

She’s a little hard to work with. She likes to do things her own way. Unlike most kids with siblings, she didn’t enjoy giving way for her brother. But I mean he was also a dumbass (in her humble sisterly opinion lmao) and she never felt the need to bend to his ideas.

Still, she’s super kind and understanding – uhhhhh at least with women, (she kind of >.> dislikes men-kind, always has but it’s only increased as she’s gotten older and more bitter toward ways of the world, and after an assault that isn’t necessary for intro tbh or who she is), but still.

She is so so so so so soft inside lmao. She presents very tough just kind of naturally, but watch a lady smile at her the right way and her heart will melt smh.

She is definitely not a people pleaser. She does not care. Like, at all.

#lhintro

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justlookfrightened · 5 years

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I'm torn between 26 and 31 with zimbits. So idk, pick one?

I already posted a response for 31, so this is 26: “It was you the whole time.” Call it angst with an optimistic ending.

Jack knew better than to rub his sweaty palms on his trousers, but it was all he could do to stop himself. Something about being back here made him feel like a kid again.

Funny how he hadn’t felt young while he was here. Then he felt so much older than his teammates, almost more like one of the coaches. But he’d had so much growing up left to do.

Now, a career and two Stanley Cups later, he could look back at the young man he had been and be grateful for everything Coach Hall had done for him. Grateful enough to come back for Hall’s retirement tribute.

Jack took a breath, opened the door to the alumni center, and stepped into the air-conditioned interior. He was here to express his appreciation to Coach Hall. Sure, some of his former teammates were probably inside, but so were five years of hockey players from before his time and those from eleven years after he graduated.

In the end, Hall was one of the few people from SMH he’d stayed in contact with, emailing once or twice a month, usually inviting Jack to come back at least once each season to meet the new players.

When he graduated, Jack thought he’d be close to some of his college team his whole life. Shitty, definitely. And Lardo. And Bitty. Of course Bitty.

It was funny; at Jack’s graduation Bitty had said something about not seeing him except on TV. Jack had assured Bitty it wouldn’t be like that. Less than an hour later, Jack had run all the way across campus to find Bitty crying in Jack’s old room, and Jack had kissed him, and it felt so right.

Until Jack’s phone buzzed and he had to leave Bitty right where he found him. Kind of like their whole relationship.

And for the last 10 years, he hadn’t seen Bitty at all — except for once, on television, when Bitty was promoting one of his cookbooks on a daytime talk show, and a few times when Jack looked him up on YouTube. Jack wondered whether Bitty had watched any of his games. Maybe the cup finals?

Jack stopped at the sign-in counter, but before he even found his table assignment, he was corralled by a young man with a Wellie-red tie and a name tag identifying him as Luke, the team manager for the recent season.

“Mr. Zimmermann? If you could step over here, I can go over the program with you,” Luke said, plucking Jack’s name tag from the table and steering him down the corridor. “You won’t need a name tag here, of course, and you’re at the first table with Coach Hall. Coach Murray is going to speak first, and then you’ll present the plaque and say a few words.”

Luke paused and looked at Jack. “Do you have something prepared?” he asked. “About how Coach Hall helped you become the great hockey player you turned out to be?”

Crap. He must really look nervous if Luke — all of 21 or 22 years old — thought he needed coaching on what to say at a retirement party.

Jack forced a smile, patted the breast pocket of his jacket, and said, “I brought some notes. But they’re really more about how Hall helped all the players he worked with grow into the people they were meant to be.”

Because the banquet room was full of men (and women who had worked with the program — he mustn’t forget them) who had graduated and gone on to careers as artists and lawyers, doctors and writers and programmers and cookbook authors, people who made the world a better place. Whisk was the only other Wellie who’d played in the NHL.

“Yeah, that sounds great,” Luke said, already reaching for the plaque that would announce a scholarship in Hall’s name. All the alumni had contributed, and many had been very generous, but Jack was pretty sure he gave the most. It was only fair; Hall took a chance on him and gave him his life back.

Jack peeked through the doors and saw Hall standing near a front table, shaking hands and exchanging greetings. He saw two pairs of large, well-tailored shoulders at the next table, and yes, there was Shitty across from Ransom and Holster. He still had a magnificent ’stache, accentuating the lines that were etching themselves into his face. Lardo, still petite, still looking like she take over the room with one look, was at his side.

The last time Jack had seen the four of them all together had been the morning of Lardo’s graduation. Ransom and Holster’s too, but he got permission to miss morning skate that day to see Lardo and congratulate her before the ceremony, which he had to miss because the Falconers were in the playoffs.

When Jack had arrived at the Haus that morning, he was surprised to have missed Bitty, who apparently left only an hour earlier to catch a flight home to Madison for the summer.

Before Bitty left, he’d made pancakes (warming in the oven), fruit salad and muffins, and chopped vegetables to go into scrambled eggs.

“Well, he actually said to put them in an omelet,” Holster said. “But scrambled eggs are easier.”

“I can make omelets,” Jack had said.

Holster thrust the carton of eggs at him and said, “Sweet!”

“You talked to Bitty lately?” Shitty asked. “Random and Holster say he spent the last semester carving a swath through the eligible dudes of this fine institution.”

Jack was glad his head was buried in the cabinet, looking for the skillet Bitty used to make omelets. The skillet Bitty used when he taught Jack to make omelets. But that was before graduation, even.

“No, I haven’t,” Jack said. “I’m sorry I missed him. I thought he’d be here.”

And that was true. The thought of seeing Bitty with his friends, in his kitchen, was uncomfortable, but Jack figured it was something they’d just have to learn to get past. They’d managed being with their friends when no one knew they were dating; Jack didn’t see why they couldn’t do it now they’d broken up.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Shitty went on. “I guess I always thought he had eyes for you. Probably better that he got over that, though, since you don’t date guys. At least to the best of my knowledge.”

Jack busied himself cracking eggs so he wouldn’t have to look Shitty in the face when he said, “I doubt Bitty sees me like that, Shits.”

“Not really cool to talk about him when he’s not here anyway,” Lardo said.

“True that,” Shitty said. “I was just trying to decide if I should be worried about the little dude, given the marked change in behavior noted by his most recent captains.”

“The little dude is a 21-year-old grown-ass adult,” Lardo said. “Who doesn’t need you slut-shaming him.”

Shitty sputtered and Jack beat the eggs and the next time anyone talked, it was Ransom announcing that he had taken a job at the same consulting firm that hired Holster.

Jack had comforted himself then with the idea that at least he hadn’t broken Bitty’s heart, and he went out and scored two goals that night on the Falconers’ way to their first Stanley Cup.

Jack craned his head further around the banquet room door, trying to see if Bitty was at the table with Shitty and Lardo. He knew they kept in touch. The last time Jack had been at Shitty and Lardo’s for dinner, what, almost two years ago now, he’d remarked on Bitty’s third cookbook on the kitchen shelf, and Lardo said, “He couldn’t wait to come over and sign it for us — he was just as excited as when the first one came out. I bet you have the full set too.”

Jack did, because he bought them off Amazon. Not because Bitty was bringing them over and signing them.

“We’re almost ready to start.” Luke was next to Jack, nudging him into the room.

Jack took a breath and stepped in, went to greet Coach Hall, hugged Lardo and then Shitty.

“Retirement looks good on you, old man,” Shitty said. “Way to go out in style with the second cup win, too.”

“Thanks, Shits,” Jack said, hoping Shitty couldn’t see him peering over his shoulder, looking to see who else was there. Looking to see if Bitty was there. “You look good. Lardo too. All of you.”

There was food on a buffet table in the back, next to the bar, and it looked like most people had already eaten. Jack excused himself to get a drink, walked to the bar and looked around the room. Dex and Nursey and Chowder were all there — Bitty’s frogs — and Ford, the manager after Lardo.

Jack got soda water with a lime because alcohol would not improve this situation at all and headed back towards the front table. Chowder waylaid him with a wide smile and a handshake, saying, “We all watched, Jack. I bet they retire your number next year. You were awesome. I was telling everyone at work that I used to play for you, but I think half of them didn’t believe me.”

Chowder hadn’t changed much, Jack decided. He always had a tendency to chatter through any tension caused by Dex and Nursey, who worked together on the ice like one of Dex’s programs (or one of Nursey’s poems), but clashed once they hit dry ground.

They didn’t seem tense tonight, though, leaning back in their chairs and talking idly. Both got up to greet Jack, but less effusively than Chowder.

It was the same as when the three of them came to a Falconer’s game during Bitty’s senior year. They’d bought tickets themselves, which was silly when Jack could get them comped, and then Chowder wrote a painfully polite email asking Jack if he’d want to say hello afterwards. Jack hadn’t paid enough attention to the email, or maybe Chow hadn’t been clear. After the game, Jack had been surprised Bitty wasn’t with the frogs. Wasn’t he always shepherding them around, mother-henning them like they couldn’t find their way home without them?

“No Bitty tonight?” he asked after their initial greetings.

“No, I think he had plans with Drew,” Chowder said.

“Drew?”

“His boyfriend?” Dex said. “The guy from the Daily.”

Like that would help Jack know who it was.

“I didn’t know he had a boyfriend now,” Jack said. “Good for him.”

“It’s kind of sweet,” Chowder said, “if I can say that about Bitty. I think it’s his first real boyfriend.”

“And a little sickening,” Dex said. “But if they keep up with the fines, we might get that new dryer this year after all.”

“You need a new dryer?” Jack said, the same time Nursey sighed, “Young love,” and pretended to wipe a tear from his eye.

“We’ve needed a new dryer,” Dex said. “Like, since before you graduated.”

“I can do that,” Jack said.

“You don’t have to,” Chowder chimed in. “It’s a Haus responsibility.”

“Chowder, I think I’m good for it,” Jack said gently. To Dex, he said, “Let me know what you need and I’ll get the money to you.”

That started Dex off on a tangent about what kind of dryer would be best, and the moment passed.

Jack knew Bitty hadn’t told anyone about their relationship — that was their agreement, and that was one of the things that led to their breakup. Trying to see Jack and do everything else without letting on to their friends was too much for Bitty, too much sneaking around, too much lying, too much not being present with his team.

It had been easier for Jack, living on his own in Providence, with hours and occasionally days at a time when no one had to know where he was or what he was doing.

It still stung to hear the frogs mention Drew as Bitty’s first boyfriend. Bitty had told Jack that Jack was his first everything. Having the frogs not know that didn’t make it less true, but Jack found himself wishing they did know.

Now, ten years later, he grinned at the thought of saying, “Bitty and I dated for six months while he was still in school,” to see the look on their faces. But it wasn’t his secret to tell, or at least not his alone.

People were shuffling into their seats and Murray was standing up, so Jack went to sit next to Hall’s wife and listen.

Once Murray was done with his list of the years Hall had worked, the accomplishments of his teams, the accomplishments of his players, he introduced Jack, who walked to the lectern and spread his notes out.

“Hi, I’m Jack Zimmermann and I graduated in 2015,” he said, adjusting the Stanley Cup ring (from the 2016 win) on his finger to catch the light.

That drew a chuckle from the room, so he continued.

“Most of you know my story — I played in juniors, then overdosed on prescription medication during a mental health crisis. I had to step away from the game for a while, and when I decided I wanted to go to college, and to play hockey again, I had to petition the NCAA to allow it.”

He also had agreed to not take a scholarship, but that hadn’t been an issue for his family.

“Not many coaches wanted a 21-year-old freshman with a demonstrated history of screwing up that badly,” Jack said. “And some of the ones who did just wanted me to play hockey, not worry about classes. But Coach Hall wanted me to come to Samwell and play hockey and get an education and figure out what I wanted. He saw the potential for me to have a hockey career —”

That drew cheers, especially from those who played with Jack “— and also for me to get a degree and open up other paths. The opportunities he gave me showed me worlds I didn’t know existed, so much that I’m going to start working on a doctorate in history this fall.”

Jack took a sip of water and continued.

“At the same time, he was an excellent hockey coach. I know; I’ve had a lot of them. He demanded hard work and perseverance, not by yelling, but by setting high expectations and then by setting an example of how to meet them. He showed me — us — how to have pride in ourselves and in our team, but also have humility at the same time. He showed me not just how to be a better player — a better person — but also that I could be so much better if I didn’t try to do it on my own.”

Jack looked up, and was about to continue, but there in the back was Bitty. It looked like he was setting out dessert — mostly pie — on the now-cleared food tables, but he had stopped what he was doing to watch Jack. When he saw Jack looking, he gave a small smile.

“I haven’t always been perfect,” Jack said, now looking directly at Bitty. “I haven’t always gotten it right. But skating for Coach Hall did so much to set me on a positive path, a path where I can make a difference by setting an example and extending a hand to people who need it. And I know he did that for all of you, too.”

Bitty was still looking at him. Jack took another sip of water, and continued.

“That’s why we all wanted to show our appreciation to you, Coach, by setting up this scholarship in your name. It’s to help players who can’t get a full athletic scholarship, or managers or any other students who are involved with the hockey program, so you can keep helping young people find their way.”

Coach Hall got up and Jack handed him the plaque. As Hall took the microphone, Jack headed straight for the back of the room.

“Can we talk?” he asked Bitty.

“Shh. After Coach Hall is done.”

Jack didn’t know how long Coach Hall spoke, just knew that he spent that time looking at Bitty. He was here as a guest, mostly, Jack supposed, in a suit and all, but just as clearly he wasn’t going to leave the dessert table to the university food service company.

Bitty looked good. Jack tried to see him as objectively as he could; Bitty was still trim and fit, maybe even a little broader across the shoulders and chest. His hair was the bright gold it turned in the summer, and his eyes were still clear, warm brown. His face was more angular, and Jack could see a dusting of pale stubble along his jaw. The beginnings of laugh lines were just visible around his eyes, and there were some scars exposed on his forearms where he’d turned his sleeves back. Jack recognized them as burn marks.

Jack knew Bitty had published his cookbooks, of course, and that he still had his YouTube channel. He knew Bitty had guested on several food network shows — it came up whenever he saw anyone else from SMH — but he wasn’t sure what else Bitty was doing. He kind of thought if Bitty had gotten married, he would have heard, but maybe he was dating someone? Bitty had moved back to Georgia after he graduated, and while he kept in touch with Shitty and Lardo and some of the others, Jack didn’t think it was as frequent as any of them would have liked.

Bitty didn’t owe anyone information, especially Jack, not after the way they’d broken it off. Jack was glad Bitty had dated after the breakup — the last thing he wanted was for Bitty to be miserable — but he had always wanted a second chance. He just wasn’t sure he deserved it.

After Bitty avoided him for the rest of Bitty’s college career, Jack thought Bitty probably didn’t want to risk it.

Hall was finishing up his remarks, talking about how proud he was of the people who had moved through the program. Jack turned to Bitty, who said, “Go talk to everybody. People will hang around for dessert. I’ll be here after.”

Then Bitty handed him a slice of apple pie on a plate. “So it’s not all gone when you come back.”

Jack wandered back toward the front, where he was being beckoned for photos. Once he stood with Hall, and with Hall and Murray, Shitty came to demand a photo with Jack and the rest of the 2014-2015 team.

“Lardo’s getting Bitty,” Shitty said, pushing Jack into a spot next to Ransom and taking up a position on Jack’s other side. “And don’t think I didn’t see you snagging the first piece of pie.”

Jack shrugged. “It’s been a long time since I had Bitty’s pie.”

“Too fucking right,” Shitty said. “Bitty hasn’t made a pie for us in like, three years. How long has it been for you?”

“Longer than that,” Jack said.

Lardo returned with Bitty, who was pulled into place in front of and between Jack and Ransom. Lardo was next to Bitty, in front of Jack and Shitty. Bitty stood a careful six inches in front of Jack, glancing back and mouthing a “sorry,” although Jack couldn’t figure out why.

Jack made small talk for a long while after that, let some of the SMH alumni try on his cup ring, even signed some autographs for the younger guys.

He embraced Hall before his old coach left, and promised to spend more time with Shitty and Lardo now that he was retired. All the time, he had one eye on Bitty, who by the end was collecting platters and serving utensils from the buffet table.

Jack swallowed the rest of his pie (which was, if anything, better than he remembered) and went back to where Bitty was boxing up his things.

“Can I help you with that?” Jack said.

“I got it,” Bitty said. “I got the primo parking because I was bringing this stuff.”

“I did want to talk with you,” Jack said. “I think Annie’s is still open.”

“Okay,” Bitty said. “Let me move the car to a legal spot and we can walk over.”

The walk was quiet, Bitty apparently as lost in his thoughts as Jack was. When they approached, Bitty slowed and said, “The last time I was here with you, you broke up with me.”

“I know,” Jack said.

It was the last time Jack had been at Annie’s at all.

Bitty had called him the night before, leaving a long tearful message on his voice mail about how their relationship was too hard, how keeping it secret was too hard, how Bitty was suffering from lying to their friends and from lack of sleep and time and … and then he had called Jack and asked him not to listen to the message, but it was too late.

It was too late for Jack to head to Samwell right away; it wouldn’t have been safe for him to drive before he got some sleep. When Jack met Bitty at Annie’s the next morning and took in his red, tired eyes and slumped shoulders, he knew what he had to do.

“You can’t keep doing this, bud,” Jack said. “I’m sorry. I had no idea how rough it would be on you.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” Bitty said. “I just have to be stronger.”

“That’s not fair,” Jack said.

“But you can’t come out,” Bitty said. “Not now, in your first season.”

“No, I can’t,” Jack agreed. “I don’t think we can keep doing this, bud. I’m sorry. I can’t see you this way and know it’s my fault. I’m sorry, bud.”

“Wait, are you breaking up with me?”

“I’m sorry,” Jack said again.

“But I love you,” Bitty said. “We can — I can try harder.”

“I love you, too,” Jack said. “But you should be with someone who can actually be with you, in front of everybody. You deserve to be happy.”

Then he had pushed his chair back, stood up and walked away.

This time, he gestured for Bitty to take a seat and said, “What can I get you?”

“Coffee,” Bitty said. “Black.”

“Not decaf?”

“Nah, I got a long drive ahead of me.”

Jack put two black coffees — one decaf, one regular — on the table.

“I never figured you’d come around to plain coffee,” Jack said.

“It turns out that unlimited sugar isn’t good for any of us as we get older,” Bitty said. “I prefer to save mine for pastry.”

Jack nodded.

“You’re not driving back to Georgia tonight, are you?”

“I don’t live there anymore,” Bitty said. “I moved to New York last winter.”

“You moved to New York? In the winter?”

“Hush,” Bitty said. “I have a show in development for the Food Network.”

“Good for you,” Jack said. “You deserve it.”

“Thanks,” Bitty said. “I’m a little worried, because I had to close my business in Atlanta, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?”

“You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don’t take?” Jack said.

“Something like that,” Bitty said. “So what did you want to talk about?”

“I wanted to say I was sorry for the way I ended things,” Jack said.

“You said so at the time,” Bitty said. “I believed you then. Lord, Jack, I didn’t want to break up, but maybe you were right. If things went they way were, I would have had a breakdown of my own.”

“Maybe,” Jack said. “Or maybe we could have figured out how to make it easier for you. Maybe we could have told the people who lived in the Haus at least. Or some of the Falconers. They would have been fine with it.”

“You know that now,” Bitty said. “Twenty-twenty hindsight’s a wonderful thing.”

“I still think I should have tried something else,” Jack said. “You didn’t want to break up. I was afraid, of coming out, of things going as badly for you as they went for me in juniors … but I gave up too easily. It’s one of my biggest regrets.”

“Aw, sweet pea, don’t beat yourself up,” Bitty said. “I loved you. I really did. And that day, it hurt like hell. Hurt for a long time after, too.”

“Is that why you didn’t stay for Lardo’s graduation?”

“My flight was at 8 p.m.,” Bitty said. “Thank God Logan has charger ports in its waiting areas.”

“Fuck, Bits, you should have stayed,” Jack said. “I wouldn’t have come if you didn’t want me to.”

“It was fine,” Bitty said. “Lardo and Ransom and Holster — they were all your friends first.”

“Then the frogs came to a Falcs game without you,” Jack said.

“Yeah,” Bitty said. “I did already have a date before they asked if I wanted to go. But I probably could have gotten out of it if I tried. I didn’t want you to think I was pining after you, though.”

“What if I was pining after you?”

“Come on, Jack, you’ve dated some people since me,” Bitty said. “I read about a few, all better looking, more successful and female.”

“None of them went anywhere,” Jack said.

“Yeah,” Bitty said softly. “I know how that goes.”

“Yeah? You had a boyfriend the next fall,” Jack said.

“For like two months,” Bitty said. “I’ve dated some, too, of course, but no one ever measured up. It was you the whole time.”

“Really?” Jack said. “You mean that?”

“I do,” Bitty said. “But you know I can’t go back in the closet.”

“I’m not asking you to,” Jack said. “Maybe it’s time for me to come out.”

“You are retired,” Bitty said.

“I almost wish I wasn’t so that I could prove how serious I am about this.”

“By coming out while you were playing?” Bitty said. “It would have made a statement. But I think you’ll still get plenty of attention. More than you want, maybe.”

“It will be worth it,” Jack said. “If you really want to do this?”

“I think I do,” Bitty said. “I really do.”

“So how important is it that you make it back to New York tonight?” Jack said.

“Not at all,” Bitty. “Not at all.”

#omgcheckplease #omg check please #zimbits #my fic #prompt fill

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jxles · 4 years

Text

✧･ﾟ( artemis + erika linder + woman ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !! have you seen ( juliet (jules) hellström ) around ? ( she/her ) has been in kaos for ( twenty-six years ). the ( twenty-six year old ) is a ( wildlife officer ) from ( kaos, greece ). people say they can be ( hard to work with ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be ( tenderhearted ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of ( eyes that speak for themselves, the contradiction of the softest toughness, feeling of safety and warmth ). ･ﾟ✧

( penned by lauren, 23, cst, she/her ).

hiii, i haven’t been in a group in a very long time but im excited to be here!! a lil nervous, going out of my comfort zone in some areas, but all around excited. fun fact, i had a mumu group almost just like this a couple years ago, except the difference was the gods kept their memories so they were all wilding out being human hahahah

feel free to skim this lol. but im in love w some of y’alls characters and i can’t wait to start talking to you and interacting! please feel free to message me whenever srsly! im in the discord you can find me there or pm me here.

you can find her pinterest here, and i’ll make a playlist soon enough.

BASICS; brief about/family/small details

Honestly she might stab someone (if they actually somehow know her name) if they call her Juliet instead of Jules.

She turned 26 on October 16th (which is the traditional day in celebration of Artemis as the goddess of nature and animals).

She was born here in Kaos, I felt like it was important. Artemis was close to the nature in Greece specifically, hanging out around important rivers and forests constantly, befriending and loving the creatures in these areas. The nature of Greece was Artemis’ home, so it only made sense to me that when they were sent here she would wind up right back in it.

She’s very obviously not Grecian though, lmao. ((Erika is clearly Swedish, but German is a much more common demographic in Greece (actually one of the most common for non-native population). Scandinavia is all part of Germanic origins anyway, therefore,)) I think her family immigrated here from that region long before she was born!

She isn’t religious and has honestly never thought about it. (Laughable considering she’s a deity.)

She has a twin brother and he’s honestly like... too much for her to deal with lol. This is definitely me giving her a human brother that is the equivalent to the pain in the ass that Apollo was for her lmao. She loves him, but she will most definitely hit his ass when he’s annoying her. lskjdflskjdf

She has a few tattoos here and there, for sure, but I haven’t picked them out yet.

She has two cats, and a snake. She doesn’t have a dog of her own, because she fosters them instead!

RELATIONSHIPS/SEXUALITY

TLDR below. Her gender is very difficult. I tried to explain it on my app but flailed around like a dumbass lmao. It’s a very common lesbian experience to be caught in this weird gender limbo. Not truly cis, but not really trans either. ((((Lesbians in my support groups all joke, “No gender, just d*ke” slkdflskdjf)))) So many of us connect to being a woman and womanhood only through our love for other women. And Artemis is definitely a lesbian, and I smile because through my eyes, I feel like I can see this being an experience all the way back to her. She declined and refused basically traditional forms of being “a woman” -- childbirth, marriage, sexuality specifically for men... and yet, she is the goddess of childbirth, fertility. It screams to me her love for women, and her connection to womanhood only being through other women. It’s very interesting and very complex, and very hard to explain to someone who doesn’t experience it. But yeah!!!

My character is definitely also not feminine. I don’t think Artemis is either. I look at her statue where she’s leaning and got her hand on her hip and I’m like wow that’s some serious butch energy lmao. Big d*ke. Idk!!

TLDR: Jules is (def soft butch) lesbian, and her gender is neither trans/nb, nor quite cis either.

On that... god, she loves women. Like, how can you not? They are soft, and all of them are complex, and gorgeous in so many ways. Artemis was surrounded by like 50 nymphs at all hours of the day everywhere she went lmfao. Gotta catch em all LSKDJFLDKFJ.

Because of this, and Artemis’ inclination to have every lady imaginable, Jules has a very hard time being in relationships. She doesn’t have like issues with it, and isn’t like completely afraid of commitment, it’s just kind of how it is. She loves to meet new women, and learn about them, etc. Butttt it’s not out of the question, if she meets someone super special. Artemis did get stuck on Callisto for awhile.

OCCUPATION

She is a wildlife officer, so you can find her around any local parks (protected water and forests, etc) doing her thing.

Making sure people aren’t abusing the nature or the animals, watching for wounded animals, protecting hunters, etc. All kinds of stuff.

PERSONALITY

Still, she’s super kind and understanding -- uhhhhh at least with women, (she kind of >.> dislikes men-kind, always has but it’s only increased as she’s gotten older and more bitter toward ways of the world, and after an assault that isn’t necessary for intro tbh or who she is), but still.

She is so so so so so soft inside lmao. She presents very tough just kind of naturally, but watch a lady smile at her the right way and her heart will melt smh.

She is definitely not a people pleaser. She does not care. Like, at all.

Um I feel like this wasn’t very good. I probably forgot something, and probably explained too much of other things. But!!! I just want to post this now so here we go lol. I hope this works well enough. I’m not good at bios so... some facts n stuff!!! Please message me aaaaa, I also @’d and messaged some of you, as well!

#kaos:intro #{ intro.

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brachyurans · 4 years

Text

tw3 moods, part 4

BASE GAME GWENTE QUESTE COMPLETE. I AM KING.

you know how i was saying i wanted to use a Nilfgaard deck for the aesthetic well i played a bunch of practice rounds against merchants and put together a good Nilf deck and won the passiflora running Emhyr the Relentless and it was great

i think i might try a Monster deck for the BoW and HoS gwent quests but that’s pretty far in the future.

also, i managed to hit 100 hours on this game without doing a single main quest in skellige lmfao

i learned how to install w3 mods so i could put in Always Full Exp. i waited so long for skellige that nothing was giving me any exp anymore and seeing ‘received: 2xp’ after quests is kind of not fun. now i’m enjoying crossing contracts off again! overleveling is a fake gamer lie.

i figured out the incredibly hilarious fact that geralt’s honey-collecting method involves setting the entire beehive on fire and waiting for it to drop to the ground. geralt hasn’t been friends with bees since he was torturing them with jugs as a witcherling and he’s not about to start now. i haven’t yet figured out what i’m meant to do with all these honeycombs but i sure do got ’em!

the bit where geralt gets put in skellige prison made me chilly. they made him go barefoot :( on the other hand, geralt interacting with what passes for a justice system on this world is fantastic and heartbreaking, he is embittered and impatient and he wants everyone to hurry up and just tell him exactly how bad he’s going to get fucked over today

the way geralt’s face fucking DROPS when eredin shows up in the cave of dreams. [MUFFLED SCREAMING]

also, the way blueboy lists off the herbs everyone’s gotta take—hemlock, henbane, nightshade, etc.—and geralt is like whoa that’s gonna be a hell of a trip like FHSKFJSK of course mr. i-drink-poison-for-a-living knows exactly what kinda trip they’re gonna have. and he’s still just like fuck it this may as well happen to me today.

hjalmar’s quest was actually a tremendous amount of fun, i was kind of putting it off because i don’t enjoy boss battles, but it reminded me a lot of being a kid and how much i loved reading the bits with odysseus and polyphemus (and rereading. i swear i read the polyphemus sequence over twice as often as any of the rest of it). the odyssey was one of my favorite books as a child. yes i was that child. getting folan from the rock trolls was also a lot of fun and having him around for the rest of the investigation was nice. (amazing he could fire a bow with those burns on his hands tbh.) i’m always ten times more willing to wander into horrible dark caves when i have an npc around to be friends with.

i would smooch cerys an craite. geralt should not, that would be weird, but i would.

I PUT THE BABY IN THE FUCKING OVEN

i don’t even have fucking words for this quest i was like ok cerys i support you and then. oh my god. i SCREAMED. i almost missed the timed choice i was too busy freaking out. like. THIS?? THIS IS THE FUCKING CONTEXT FOR THAT???

obviously after all that i crowned her queen. who the fuck picks hjalmar over cerys when she’s obviously the superior candidate like crach says he has no preference but the only point he can give in hjalmar’s favor is “skellige wants a monarch who’ll lead them to battle with nilfgaard” like ok sure crach but i’m gonna back the monarch who won’t immediately fling the isles into emhyr’s maw. may the reign of the first queen of skellige be long and prosperous.

CIRI!!!! IS!!! GAY!!!!!!

i thought lesbian ciri was just a reasonably popular fanon but no you can look a naked woman straight in the eyes as ciri and say “actually, i prefer women,” i love & support my lesbian daughter

the entire last wish sequence killed me FUCKING DEAD

geralt when he says ‘agh, no, not another portal’ and yen tells him to stop whining 😭😭😭

me: ok geralt lets try for a repeat of the unicorn scene [selects dialogue]

geralt: you wanna fuck on the top of a mountain in a dead guy’s bed?

yen: no.

yennefer, darling and best-beloved as she is to me, actually super needs to stop reading geralt’s mind without permission it isn’t cute or funny. it is also, as far as i can see, an invention of the games. bad cdpr [whacks with newspaper]

i’ve now let both the succubi go so i can never make a succubus decoction. rip me. the uncraftable recipe in my alchemy tab is gonna bug me but i just won’t stab women for the crime of being Horny if i don’t have to is that so wrong

i absolutely could not bear to kill any more fucking sirens so around this point i went to get uma. i still have sidequests and Witcher diagrams to get in skellige but sirens and mountains are annoying.

emhyr: i give you leads as fresh as morning dew and this is what i get?

me: well after running around the continent on fifty different side quests the leads were all uh... slightly less fresh.

“forktails this close to the fortress? someone’s been slacking off” go on just drag eskel for filth why don't you geralt

time for everyone to go on their Life-Changing Field Trip with Zuko Geralt

omfg the illusion child with the foglets that Lambert said was copied from his cohort is fucking TINY. it’s probably a reused model because the trainee witchers must have been close to full-grown when they did the trial of the medallion if they were going out on the Path right after but still like... thas bad. witchers are tragedies.

that geralt and eskel’s idea of quality time is dissecting a katakan together (or rather, eskel dissects a katakan and geralt eats an apple...i desperately hope he got the apple out of his pack because it kind of looked like he grabbed it off the nasty-ass katakan table and that’s Gross, geralt)... these guys are fuckin nerds

eskel managing to radiate mom friend energy while practically black-out drunk is extremely powerful

if I was yennefer witnessing three men twice as big as me squeezed into my nice dresses i would have had MUCH harsher words for all of them. those dresses would be unwearable afterwards. also i made the mistake of taking everything off in order to wear yen’s pants which meant geralt woke up on the floor completely naked while everyone else was already busy having their shit together while fully dressed. embarrassing.

vesemir is an extremely fucked-up old dude. ah yes, you know how old people are, nostalgic for their torture tables, just can’t get rid of those. lambert is right about everything

emhyr may be a grade-A douché but geralt’s a little bitch. what’s wrong with morvran leading a banner to kaer morhen, i thought we liked morvran. he’s a horse girl and he’s always polite to us. you don’t even know how to command a company of nilfgaardian soldiers geralt. oh no emhyr will have intelligence about kaer morhen if morvran comes!—he would get the same if it was just the soldiers you think his companies aren’t full of spies??? suck it up and play nice for ciri we need bodies in that castle!! suspect geralt went to ask emhyr literally just to lord over him that he was going to do some fancy magic stuff with ciri that emhyr could never, smh

i have to stop main-questing now and Prepare i want at least three more levels and all of my Witcher gear in order before i head out after ciri

which means i gotta go kill some more sirens.

fuck.

#tw3 blogging #long post sorry

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humankoalaa · 5 years

Text

per usual.... this episode.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

black lightning LFGGGG!

“can i please stop being jen is a box” 🤣

agent king k rool gets on my damn nerves.

so we just gon blame lynn for everything agent ganandorf? 🙄

PAUSE!!! agent rafiki throwing out them lil hints like he knows jenn and anissa are metas is not a mood. nah gantu i needs you to cut the shit.

anissa 😭 don’t cry mom. PLZ 😩 ugh i miss my soft happy loving forehead kissing moms. 🤧

oooooooo she done found a picture and a pill 🧐 detective mode is a whole ass mood. yaaassss mom.

wait tho... why does that picture look like it’s legit a young chantal... lemme find out it’s actually her for real.

nafessas hair has been everything these last two episodes.

henderson 🤣🤣 look he better accept the fact that gambi is the chuck norris of freeland.

i still can’t help but wonder if krondon has bad breath or not cause he’s ALWYAS in somebody’s damn face.

WAIT WHAT?! HE HAS THE PODS?!

lmao cutter bih you thought 🤣 lucky Tobias saved her ass.

okay maaaayybbeeee it’s not an actual photo of chantal when she was a kid but still it’s damn close.

anissa searching for grace 😭

wait why do they call gambi uncle tho... i mean he raised jefferson sooo grandpa bambi? GG? ... no? K.

“she’s my uhh.... we’re dating uncle gambi” 😭😭😭😭🤧 her face before she says we’re dating 😭 she’s so proud but her eyes convey the sadness, fear, and how much she misses grace 🤧 can’t handle this. CANT.

C A N T

GAMBIS SMILE AFTER SHE TELLS HIM 😭 A SUPPORTIVE RELIABLE UNCLE GRANDPA I STAN.

i love gambi and anissas relationship so much.

“my gut is telling me that she’s in trouble” 😭😭 JESUS i thought after 3 weeks of sads over khalil we’d get a break. nope. ugh i can’t with these emotions man. CANT.

“old folks always say... you never know what you have until it’s gone” 😩 so many words to convey one message..... she loves grace 😭😭😩😩 im seriously convinced this angst and mystery surrounding grace is gonna give me a coronary.

oh shit. this pills gonna be how they find out huh? yes. gotta be.

lean on me moment 🤣🤣

OH SHIT GRANDPA JEFFERSON BOUT TO GET HIS JOB BACK

here go agent donkey kong and his bullshit

Tobias still talking to these got damn paintings 🤦🏾‍♀️

PAUSE! NO! YALL AINT BOUT TO MAKE ME WATCH THIS. this ship doomed and ain’t nobody on board thank Buddha.

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

NO. HELLLLLLLLL NO. g-d no. NO. tobias and cutter? NEVER AGAIN. PLEASE.

lol jeff thinking his daughters are gonna listen to him and lay low... comedy.

oooooo lightning’s suit talk!

frozen like a TV dinner 🤣🤣🤣🤣 tobias ain’t shit 😩

marcus don’t do it dummy.

agent dr wario dead ass talking to ursula about lynn getting killed or kidnapped. NO.

wait... when did anissa get her own place tho...

JENN AND ANISSA ARE MY FAVORITE SISTERS ON TELEVISION. THEY INVENTED SISTERS. i said what i said.

can’t wait to see them fight together it’s bouts to be LIT! .... literally 😏

😭😭 jenn knows about grace MY HEART 😩

JENNNNNNNNN 😩 that hurt me hell. but you’re so SO wrong and im SO glad we know why grace is well.... casper the friendly ghost 🙂

🤣🤣🤣🤣 she know damn well jenn ain’t gon stay her ass nowhere 🤦🏾‍♀️

lawd agent butt ugly Martian working my LAST damn nerves.

LMAO jenn it ain’t even been 5 minutes 🤦🏾‍♀️

i just wanna know... when are men’s gonna stop calling the pierce sisters all types of bitches tho?

oh shit.

lol principal broke dick is upset.

GRACES STORY HOLY FUCK 😭💔 it was only minor details but fuck. i don’t even think i wanna know more 😪

this scene between gambi and anissa shows how much anissa has grown and matured but also it shows how much she cares about grace. the fact that we now know she’s spoken to jenn offscreen 😒 and gambi about grace the “fuck girl” slander needs to now be dead forever eventho she was never one in the first place. 🙄 fite me.

JEFF WHATRE YOU DOING?! 🤦🏾‍♀️ smh.

shit.

jenns either bout to kill them all OR she’s about to learn how to fly real quick. ... im hoping it’s the latter.

🤦🏾‍♀️ man the more gambi tells anissa about grace, the more i wanna cry 😩 schizophrenia tho 🤧 i mean she’s not schizophrenic but still. lord anissas just ugh like can she get a break or?

small hooded individual lmao

WERE ABOUT TO SEE LIGHTNING AND THUNDER FIGHT TOGETHER LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

sis out here throwing dragon balls 🤣 i see you jenn

where’s anissa tho...

lord he done fucked up mentioning pain killer.

oh shit this ain’t good

JENNIFER GET UP

there she is 😍 coming in with the thunder clap. ugh an entrance i stan.

cutter done killed like 30 people in two episodes.

OH SHIT

🤦🏾‍♀️ lynn... of course her phones not working. jesus.

i hate this dr bitch like kill her please PLEASE.

i will yell at you tomorrow 🤣🤣

“its your dad”... “don’t tell him... don’t tell him he gon burst a blood vessel” 🤣🤣 never change jenn. never change.

lord Wendy please be able to help lynn. PLEASE.

shit.

shakedown 🤣

masters of disaster 🤣🤣 really? 😩

wow..... he’s literally gonna be selling metas. gross.

ewh they’re just no. STOP. please. NO.

🤮

whatever todd was annoying and helped start this fucking disaster.

#black lighting spoilers #black lightning #thundergrace #anissa x grace #anissa pierce #grace choi

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moirsvirtuesz · 6 years

Text

i can’t believe I'm still watching this mess: hot take on tessa and scott show- episode 3

(all of these are from messages to my canadian queen @buisnesspartners )

ok i had so many thoughts about this episode that everything is under the cut because it is so long... so strap in kids

i'm gonna start in like 10 min because im cleansing my soul by watching nathan chen and umbrellas

me switching my vpn to canadian:

— julia accidentally sent me a link to a betty crocker cooking video instead of a link to the episode—

thanks to julia i now know how to make Double Chocolate Mug Cake

honestly she was just trying to save me

ok now i’m starting

i want this recap guys voice to wake me up everyday and update me on what bullshit vm did while i was asleep

this intro... *deep sigh*

"scotts making a quick trip home to london" it starts…

"and i'm off to windsor where i'm in my third year of getting my psychology degree" yes t!! go get em!

fuck scott and his gf you are getting your education!

god i hate it but scott looks hot here

but scott don't use a normal knife for pumpkin carving you idiot! you use the use the ragged one that comes in the kit and it works better!

i'm only critiquing his pumpkin carving skills because i gotta focus on something else other than what him and cassandra are saying

scott needs to get it together

"i get like this during olympic year, i get grouchy" during just olympic year scott? i think its just you being in your mid 20’s

i can’t believe t dragged her poor friend into this

scott: *talks about how the stress is getting to him and how its real now* cassandra: “alright..."

scott looks more like death in the interviews in this episode than in the last episode

but he does not look as bad as he did in the first one

*tessa tells a cute story about seeing a cute guy and embarrassing herself* scott: *looks pissed*

scott stop being an asshole and be a good friend

stop making a big deal just because you don't like a band she likes

damn that pair skater has a rocking body though

yess tessa get this pair skater

THEIR TECHNICAL COACH IS NAMED JOHNNY JOHNS

THATS HILARIOUS

this guy is with marina??

somebody actually fucks marina??

and its a guy named johnny john...

smh marina i expected a russian body builder

these rap transitions are the only consistent good thing in this show

"fuck them" ok johnny john you have a point

"i hate it!" lol scotty

scotts lookin hot though

wait... his hotness just got ruined with that camera shot of him walking away in his oversized basketball shorts

tessa honey you look great in these interviews though

"she won't look at me" i wouldn't wanna look at you either scotty when you are acting like such a bitch

"when i was younger i had a temper" younger? yeah nah you still have it

ok but this show is def making them look worse than they are

i need to do a cleanse after this

"how are you feeling about that" lol kate trying to play therapist

FEDOR

FEDOR CALLING SCOTT SCOTTY HAHAHA

fedor: "you're trying too hard" *scott death glare*

also i could imagine russian marina looking at her son and being like "yes my darling you are my new 'footwork coach’”

"i need to blow off some steam" *goes to a place called paradise park*

CHIDDY AND SCOTT SUNGLASSES SLOWMO ENTRANCE IM CACKLING

omg patrick has a girlfriend in this one?

these producers need to get their shit together

if you're going to have fake scenes like chiddy and tessa being set up at least be consistent

*literal grown men playing with go-carts for 3 mins*

scott: "how's your girlfriend?" how are the producers this stupid that last episode they made it seem like scott was jealous of chiddy and now scotts literally asking about his girlfriend

kate: "you met the queen" ugh kate don't remind me of that terrible outfit

oh no a dinner scene with andrew and kaitlyn

"we just get along so well" lol @vm

andrew usually you are my ice dancing giant king but your hair looks so ugly in this

—also nobody @ me for that comment i’m not a fan of weapo or their skating but i am 5’10 and appreciate any semi-hot guy over 6 foot—

ok what is this house by the way?

like is it a restaurant or what?

this is def set up

god i hate them sometimes

"do you guys ever need space" andrew: “nah"

andrew just sounds like a nonchalant guy off an snl skit or something

"team canada baby" scott literally cringes at his own line

they all wanna die

tessa's ugly panda pj's are back!!

they have literally shown the same shot of them on opposite sides of the locker room with scott in a nike shirt like 10 times

lol at them trying to do a storyline and making scott to realize he was being an ass and need to support her

*marina russian voice* : "you have chemistry"

also lol at them playing a song with the words "chemical reaction”

aw this is sweet

its so fake the making up but still sweet

i cant believe i'm an emotional bitch

scott whispering to tessa "yes" was def fake or set up or put in post production but its still fucking me up

i'm jammin to these rap transitions now

"that's a lot of passion for 13 and 15.. what were our parents thinking letting us do those things" honestly the real question scotty was why did your parents let you do carmen and it be their fav program

kate that “he he he” is real creepy

am i emotionally ready for scott abs? no

oh HEY SCOTT ABS

he needs a tan because he literally has a pale body like a vampire

but i guess living your life in an ice rink and being cold hearted to tessa can do that to a man

"i'm a sucker for suspenders" bitch me too the fuck

suspender scott was my fav

haha scott likes the pants now!

"you look so much more beautiful than me" yeah i agree but you have a gf scott

scotts leaving and her little tear thing aw

oh fuck scotts hurt

JOHNNY JOHNS SHUFFLING OVER THERE TO HELP

"will scotts injury melt the ice between them" nice ending quote recap guy

Overall mood for this episode:

And:

#for the books #lindseys reaction to vm show #vm #tessa virtue #scott moir

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draconicroyalty · 7 years

Note

👀 But may we get some some of those Ver/Cath Mulan AU hcs?

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌

ALRIGHT, HEADCANON TIME.

Mundus has invaded territory with his demon army

Sparda, the general and king, is all “w tf have you just done u lil bitch???”

Eva stays in the palace to make sure everything is going ok

A man of age from every family has to fight by his side to protect the kingdom

Daniyal is hurt ever since the last war and can’t fight properly but his son isn’t of age yet so he must go

Catheryn is just “no u fuckin don’t???”

She knows he will die in battle and that CAN NOT happen??? He has a teenager son and a baby girl to raise?? Her parents must stay alive, wtf

So, once they fall asleep, she steals her father’s armor and her mom’s sword and just gets on top of a horse and is like “bye fuckers”

Her ancestors are just like “this bitch”

They send this fire fox spirit to bring her back

Maawiya, however, is just “hum no she has potential imma help her out”

Sparda assigns Vergil as Captain and tells him to train potential new soldiers

Dante is jelly, but oh well, okay i guess?? asshole

Catheryn and Dante end up having…a little brawl before Vergil comes out and finds them almost clawing each other’s face off

Dante just “he started”

Catheryn has to hold herself to don’t kick him in the stomach

“What’s your name??” “Uuuuuh” “My brother asked you a question” “your brother? oh yes i noticed the similarity. you both look like someone spit in your fucking food”

She ends up saying her name is Hideo because ‘splendid man’ sounds good and she is out of ideas

Vergil is Tired ™ and dismisses them but promises Hideo/Cathy he will keep an eye on ‘him’

Next day comes and Cathy runs to the training camp with this huge ass sword and everyone is all “um buddy just how much does that weight??” “i dunno man, like, 3 full grown men?” “WHAT”

Dante rolls his eyes once his brother starts talking like a captain and telling them to behave

“Ohhh, tough guy” “Brother, thank you for volunteering” “COME ON”

Everyone tries to climb the damn tree trunk, everyone falls (Cathy goes a lil further than everyone but falls on her butt)

“It’s gonna be a looong day…”

LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS INTENSIFIES

During hand to hand combat training Cathy kicks Vergil’s ass

“wow ok stay still my beating heart”

As training progresses, Dante and Catheryn actually tolerate each other

One night Catheryn hears Sparda’s counselor, Agares, who’s a major asshole sometimes, telling Vergil the tropes aren’t ready

Maawiyaand Cathy just “no u fucking dont we worked HARD for this”

“i hold him, you punch him” “not necessary, but i appreciate it”

Genuine smile from the Captain?? wow??? WOW?

“You liiiike him” “shut up maawiya” “you doooo” “ok fine he’s cute, judge me” “uh uh tO YOUR TENT young lady”

Sneaky fox writes a message for Agares saying Sparda needs them as backup because fuck Agares and his notes

Marching sucks, it really does

The whole ally army is found defeated together with a village

Dante and Vergil are absolutely livid and trying to swallow down the pain as they set their father’s helmet near a cliff together with his sword

Basically Mundus’ army soon appears before them

“oh shit we’re fucked”

Catheryn, the super extra soldier: welp guess im gonna blow up a mountain lol

“also imma save the hot ass captain while this all goes to shit”

“oh fuck i got hurt”

“aaaand now they know im a woman. great.”

Vergil refuses to kill her because “wtf she may be a woman but she was the best soldier i’ve ever seen??? no, she’s still coming with us. stop yelling Agares u bitch”

Mundus basically tries to kidnap Eva and take over the palace after popping out of the snow like a daisy together with a few allies

Catheryn watches as the strong alpha males try to take the thickass, hugeass doors down with a statue….smfh

“there’s…pilars here we can climb”

“oh”

Eva is basically doing the equivalent of double middle fingers at Mundus for killing her mf husband

Badass brother duo ft. tall lady burst open the fucking doors behind Eva and Mundus

“why hello king of assholes”

Catheryn basically pulls Vergil back after Dante gets Eva tf outta there because “oh no this asshole is mine”

they…basically blow up the fuckin palace’s wall and part of the ceiling, smh

Eva: u fucking destroyed everything

Eva: but u also killed that fucker and saved us all so u cool

Catheryn just “neat can i go home now”

Dante basically hugs her good bye and whispers something about Vergil

Meanwhile the captain is just “uuuuh you fight good. see ya.”

Dante and Eva, probably: u fight good??? that woman just fucking saved us. go marry her.

Back at Cathy’s home, probs:

Lukah: she brought a sword, could’ve brought a gf…bf…smth

Vergil: um is this the meyumi residence??

Lukah: well fuck me

#sorry i got a little excited #VerRyn #NPC; Catheryn #Mulan!AU #mun's post #ooc #anon #asks

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sleepisfortherich · 5 years

Photo

Peace Young Homie, If you don’t want to Live with Regret, Then follow Your Imagination & Intuition. It’ll lead you to some Dope Places. 🏁 Your Imagination is trying to Give you all these Crazy Ideas to Move On & Things to create, but You’re too afraid to Leave What’s “Familiar”. ⚜️ You’re too afraid of what somebody You went to mf’n Highschool will say. smh. ⚜️ You’re Afraid of Failing in Public where everyone can See You; Those who Love You & Those who Hate You. • You can’t stand the thought of looking like you “Don’t Have it Together” for a few Seasons in order to come Up Later. ⚜️ And because of that, You’re gonna Get Old & Have Regrets. You’re gonna Become bitter and resentful of the Chances You didn’t take in your “Ass Kicking Years”. ⚜️ It ain’t got to Be like that tho... You create what’s Real. You write your Story..... Don’t be a Coward... Young Cowards Grow into Old Cowards. ⚜️ Be BOLD in Your Younger Years so You can set the Stage & The Pace for Everyone in your Family coming after You. ⚜️ Don’t Trick yourself into Staying in that Wack Ass Job either... Especially if you hate it... Because you’ll Never end Up Leaving... I know Grown Men to this Day who Hate & complain about their Jobs but can’t quit because their Lady May Think Less of them, or because they’ve Purchased too much material Sh__ & now they HAVE to stay @ a job they Hate just to Pay for it All.... ⚜️ Don’t trap Yourself Like that Young Homie.... ⚜️ Start Life Off doing what you’re Passionate about, & then Build your Foundation from that. 🏁 Google is Real.... YouTube is Real..... Go Study & Research Your Way out of that Lifestyle You’ve Grown to Hate.... ⚜️ Peace & Love- @nickid_si4tr #LouisianaKings #LouisianaQueens #YourThoughtsCreateLife (at Sleep is for the Rich Clothing) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3xj4dIAMSX/?igshid=12olvsmul9x02

#louisianakings #louisianaqueens #yourthoughtscreatelife

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rastaindahcity-blog · 5 years

Text

Keep the fyah blazin (literally)

Treyyyy, Treyyyy come back is all I hear is my 7 year old voice screaming at my 6.5 year old brother he ran from the flames growing rapidly behind the gold course about to devour the mean lady that stayed in the guard shack we thought was a little house. Smh yal know us kids and how we like to play, unattended and up to no good. When Trey and I got together and went outside life was an adventure, we would stand on top of tables, climb trees, invent things, build club houses, steal furniture and other items out neighbors back yards. On good days we watched the men play golf from the other side of the fence where our apartments were and when a golf ball came near my brother Trey would jump that fence and get those golf balls for us. One day we got caught by some players who came and actually didnt take our balls but told us where we could pond them. We gave him his back though and he asked us to stop. We agreed to stop but we were a lil upset. A lighter I said while picking up one of those things grown people used to smoke. Lets burn some shit down me and my brother agreed. We went to the guard shack we thought was a lil house in the apartment complex and started setting some leaves on a bush directly behind the building on fire. Wwoooohhhh dang stupid you cant let the flame get big hurry up and let it out I said to trey as I blow the flame out he lit. Ok ugly he said back. The fyah blazing and the giggles and blows keep coming. As I blow out the next flame I hear Trey blowing quickly as hard as he came but the bush kept burning. By the time I turn my head all I see is Trey running, not only was he running fast as hell but the flame was so big I couldnt put it out. Treyyyy, Treyyyyy come back is all I hear my 7 year old voice scream at my 6.5 year old brother as he ran from the flames growing.. SHIT I take off running so fast I run pass Trey and straight to the house. Now we both inside the house with that huge flame still stuck in our eyes, breathing so hard and sweating like pigs. Yall act like yall running from a ghost sit yall ass down somewhere and shut my door why yall letting all them flies in. About 10 minutes of fresh air and watching Dragon Up we agree to go back outside to see whats going on. Before we can get around the corner to the other side of the complex traffic is already back up. A passerby lets her window down and speaks to another adult standing nearby "who would do something like this she says with confusion on her face." My brother and I look at each other with shocked faces. Next thing you know we are around the corner and all we see is huge flames of fire and black smoke, police cars and fire trucks putting out the massive flames. Stand back says one of the cops near by. I hope they dont find out it was us Trey whispers. I dropped the lighter I whispered back.

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brahnabischh · 7 years

Text

in the beginning

… my period is coming. i’m over emotional today. i can’t deal. i just can’t ✋🏾✋🏾

first off , i moved … i’m in Maryland now with Chelle and Jah. been here since late Friday early Saturday (6/17-18) of course it’s supposed to be for the better– new environment , new people , new opportunities , new beginning. i’m all for it .. clearly because i’m here. but now that i’m all the shitty things i thought i could handle are fooling with my head something serious right now. i didn’t want to come simply because i didn’t want to have to put my problems on anyone else .. or become any kind of burden or extra weight to anyone. although i understand i’m a grown ass woman , i still need a lot of help with things that i haven’t quite comes to terms with as far as my pride is concerned. i don’t want to disappoint anyone else .. let alone myself any more than i already have.

i was supposed to [so word had it] come work with my godmother at Sally’s for now to at least have something to do .. keep busy , make money , take care of my responsibilities. needless to say that hasn’t happened or even been apart of conversation in Sally’s yet. so i’m not working , making money , handling my responsibilities. on top of that i have to get my license and tags on my car renewed .. which i cannot do without my birth certificate. mind you , i haven’t seen the two original copies of that shit since Abby got kicked out and took them in the bag i used to use to go to kennessaw with. now the process of getting my birth certificate AGAIN consists of 1st ; ordering it online. 2nd ; submitting a notarized request form to alameda county records people. 3rd ; wait for them to receive and accept my request. and finally ; send off my certificate. and all of this takes up to 15 business days depending on when they get the notarized form. so now that means for the next two weeks or so i will be doing absolutely NOTHING! but waiting for my cousins to get off work and do some shit with me. i don’t have money , i can’t drive my car , and I don’t know anyone here anymore besides the four of them.

i was going to go see my grandmother and spend some time with her for the time being .. but tickets to get to her cost at the very least {from what i say tonight} one hundred eighty nine dollars. remember i don’t have any money , nor steady income what so ever …. so my grandmother would have to front the bill and then pay for whatever else we/i do when i get there. it’s bad enough she gave me almost her last to help move me and my vehicle here , i don’t want her to spend anymore than she has to. plus she has her own obligations and responsibilities to attend to , she can’t be my little personal lending tree. although i know she would want me to come regardless .. i can’t keep doing that to her. she told me the other day i got her punching the clock .. or in other words she has to bust ass and grind to earn her money to do for me. that shit sucks. it makes me feel so shitty. and of course i can oblige myself to paying her back when i don’t even know when , where or how i’ll get the money in the first place.

i try to stay positive and optimistic about this move– saying everything happens for a reason. i came to better my life and get back on track– quit worrying yourself , God got you. just trust he’s out for your best interest … but it’s soooooo hard to put my pride aside and let people help me. and it’s soooooooo hard to not worry about what i’m unsure of when i don’t have anything else to do but sit and think about all these things on a regular basis. i told God that i washed my hands of the whole situation and that i trust him completely. he knows what’s best. his will be done .. not mine. but JESUS!! it’s so hard. smh. it’s sooooo hard. i’m trying to be patient and let things play out since i deadass can’t do anything but wait .. but i’ve been waiting patiently for things to change and get better for the LONGEST! i know these last four years weren’t totally wasted. i hadn’t gone through all the mess i’ve been through over those years for nothing. there’s a reason for everything. but good gravy! something has GOT to give!!!!!!

and then there’s my boyfriend situation. Justin Wilcox is the most interested in being WITH someone i have ever been in like .. all of ever. honestly. since we started talking back in around February of 2015 i’ve wanted to be nothing but honest with this man. all the other times i’ve liked someone or started a “situationship” with them there was a certain role i knew to play. it was either straight about sex or just some kind of secrecy. i’ve started relationships off of /what was supposed to be/ one night stands .. or lies and that’s not what i wanted with him. he’s such a good feel it’s ridiculous. i’ve told him about a lot of things i may not even fully realize i’ve even informed him of in just the friendship part of our relationship it scares me. i’ve confided in him about things i wouldn’t even talk to my parents about. I never lied to him about my money issues , my family issues , my living situation , my legal situation … he knows all of it. he told me in the beginning that i had to work for something with him. said he wanted me to be his little boo but i had to act right first. so we got to know each other some first. but knowing what i’ve known about men and boys i’ve dealt with before .. i never minded anything he’s said about wanting to be with me. trying a relationship. basically being the lady on his side. i thought it all was bullshit. he just wanted some ass and i really didn’t mind giving it to him. hell i never did before. but of course like everything else potentially good for me , i let myself get distracted from him and sort of put him to the side. all for Richard’s ass .. which was the DUMBEST decision at the time. but i’m hardheaded and stubborn , so you know you can’t tell me anything. he knocked me off my “boo” pedestal i was on because i wasn’t “acting right” lol. we’d talk on and off , whenever i decided not to ignore his call or messages .. there was even a time i was igg'ing him and he saw me at the trap and just looked at me like 👀 damn you just don’t fuck with the kid anymore. of course i didn’t give a shit at the time. my nose was wide open under someone else’s ass … i even blocked him from my phone for a hot little minute. long story short .. we got back in contact with each other i want to say after i added him on snapchat. he hit my phone , of course on some damn tf happened type shit. and we’ve been kicking shit ever since.

he’d always tell me he wanted to be with me like forreal forreal. always expressed his intentions. always been honest (as far as i know). always asked what the hell i was running from or why i was playing with him. always talked shit about me not wanting to be his boo and all this. i remember a conversation we had after we talked for the first time since he had been blocked and he was upset. he was like i told you my intentions with you , i’m not playing. all this good shit. and i just explained to him that i needed to get my shit together. i didn’t want to start anything with him i couldn’t handle. i didn’t have a car .. my job at the bar was becoming shit , i wouldn’t be able to be the girlfriend or “boo” i would want to be for him. if he called and wanted me to come bring him some food , i couldn’t .. how with no money. i couldn’t meet him anywhere or come to him when he wanted .. how with no car of my own. and i was too prideful to always have to ask my mom to use her car without telling them what for. [[ although like i said earlier , i am a grown ass women. i have no reason to lie , or hide anything from anyone … that was the childish part of me. felt like i needed to hide dudes from my parents when they weren’t going to meet them. i didn’t know this man was going to actually make me his girl or not just want some booty. all i knew was my parents would ask a kagillion questions as if we were going to be serious and dating , or they’d think i was some kind of hoe if they knew about buddy and never met him. if that makes any kind of sense. all just still being the scary little timid and secretive girl i’ve always been. ]] but he said he didn’t care about all of that. whatever i was going through or working on we could work on and go through together. he was very persistent and adamant about us at least trying something out. he’d come see me at work when he could. and always was on my phone. by this time I was boo again. i finally let him take me out .. we went to have drinks at Applebee’s (how romantic right? 😂) but being out in public , not having to sneak , or hide .. felt so good. we went to Walmart afterwards. said he needed to get some groceries for his house … for me to cook him. HA! but from the time we left the restaurant , to the time we spent in the car , to the time spent shopping , even to him taking me back to the car so we could go our separate ways for the night i felt like he was someone i could really try some shit with. he never said too much about us having sex. never did extra shit to get me to come to his house .. none of that. i deadass liked this man. now at this point Richard and i were still involved with each other but time was winding down. i wanted Justin. couldn’t do too much with Richard’s ass any who … but i was giving him the cold shoulder to the highest degree. the night i really realized Justin and i were on the same accord was the night Richard pulled up on me at the house. i told Justin i wanted to see him and asked if he could come through for a minute. he did .. and we sat outside in the driveway for a little minute. talking. chilling. whole time my phone was going bizzurk. Richard was calling and texting me , talking about answer this next call or else. i was trying to find a reason to leave Justin but i didn’t want to lie to him. i did anyway. told him my little sister was looking for me and i needed to go back inside. all of a sudden , i hear/see an orange Camaro come rolling past the house and down the street. who else would it be than Richard’s ass. Justin’s windows aren’t tented so he saw very clearly who was in the car. i open the door and try to escape without being any more weird than i was already acting towards Justin. as i’m dismissing myself trying to stay calm , Richard’s ass pulls up in front of the house and watches. Justin asked was whoever it was in the car for me .. i lied and told him no. said he must’ve came looking for my dad or something. told him i’d see him later and rushing to close the door hoping for the absolute least to transpire at this time. he backs up and pulls off and i see Richard looking like “who tf is this nigga!” i start walking to the carport to go back inside and he pulls along side the entrance to the driveway and tells me to come here. i said no and tried to keep walking , he keeps saying come here , said he’s not going to do anything , just come here. i told him no again and was not trying to deal with anything he had to throw at me. he says something to me about not making him get out be car , but i wasn’t worried about any of that shit. we were outside my parent’s house and my daddy was home. he wasn’t about to act fool or do anything to draw attention to himself with that being considered. so he pulls off highly pissed and calls me. i answer and he’s going off about me being in the car with some nigga and what the hell we had to talk about that i couldn’t call and talk to Richard about. blah blah blah. this nigga then proceeds to fly down the road to catch up to Justin. buddy pulls up on him at the damn light and asks – while i’m still on the phone – “aye what’s up with you and Bri? yah talk?!” whole time i’m like really bruh. are you fucking kidding me. mind you dude is 39yrs old .. and had just cheated on me in the most major way! but nonetheless still too grown to be acting like that. of course during this whole thing Justin is texting and calling me trying to see what’s really good. he even text me from some random ass number saying “say” like ‘aye what tf is all of this shit?!?’ i text him and explained that Richard was my ex and he was crazy and wouldn’t leave me alone. told him I didn’t want him to get caught in the midst of all this shit because i really did like him and he didn’t deserve any of that. he explained what happened at the stoplight and how he told buddy we didn’t talk or whatever to help save my ass. said Richard said something about me not being able to talk to him (Richard) because I said i was talking to him (Justin) i told him i really really liked him and wanted this shit to ride because i really feel like we connect in a way i hadn’t with anyone else and that we could really build some great shit and have a dope ass relationship. no bullshit all games and jokes aside.he expressed that he already explained his intentions with me and how he deadass liked me … he felt everything i was saying and he even agreed. said he wasn’t even mad at me for all that , just didn’t want me to be fucking with him or trying to play him. from that moment on i knew that he deserved a shot and it was a 95%+ chance that he was being deadass genuine. some good really could come of this. time goes by , he comes to see me at work , i come kick shit with him at his house .. we had sex for the first time on March 6th. and for the first time i actually was happy i hadn’t given myself to him earlier.

…. wait , back to the purpose of me writing. lol. that went on longer than i expected to explain. 😂

anywho. we had grown so accustomed to being together and in arms reach at all times , the reality of me leaving was hitting us harder than we’d planned. i’m not just gone a few driving hours away to where i could come visit or vice versa on the weekends or however often we’d like. i’m deadass gone far enough away that we’d actually have to sit and plan out the time we’d visit and spend. going to sleep and waking up without him is so irritating at times. i miss my baby sooo much. and it’s killing me right now because i don’t know when i’ll see him next. we talked about him moving here .. or he said he’d be up this way by August .. all of this was really fucking with him and he wants us to be together. i want to believe he would do so but i don’t. i can’t seriously expect this man to drop his whole life , stop everything he’d been working so hard for , and come following after me. that’s too much responsibility on me. and too much stress and strain on him.

missing him combined with everything else racing around my head just makes me wish i hadn’t have left in the first place. although i know i needed to go now because if i hadn’t now , i never would have. and i would’ve been stuck in the same shit yet another year. but like i said .. it’s all for the best. maybe this is even supposed to help challenge our trust and relationship. who knows.

as if it’s not bad enough i can’t see him and touch him. look into his eyes , smell his skin , kiss his lips .. must i go on? i tell him today that we needed to set some sort of goal to look forward to that could help us meet in the middle as far as us being together physically. he says he plans on leaving at the most within the next year and a half. clearly not August like he sad at the gym. it’s cool though. except the fact idk what’s the middle for us , i don’t know where he would want to move to , i don’t know what would be asking too much of him , hell i don’t even know how long it’ll take for me to get my shit together here. and the last thing i would want to happen is allow the time spent away linger on too long and we eventually get used to not being with each other or catch interest in someone else and that just be it. this all happened so early on in our relationship , and there’s not a damn thing we can do about it right now but wait. we still have a lot of foundation to add to our beginning .. how the hell can we do that when we can’t even see each other. i mean i guess it’s good that we’ll be able to truly miss each other and we’re forced to talk more often now .. but all this in my head shit is getting to me.

i just want everything to fall into place the way that i see it happening and everything being so peachy keen … but what if what i want isn’t what is supposed to be? i don’t want to waste his or my time unnecessarily. i don’t want to be hurt. and i damn sure don’t want to hurt him. i mean i do have the reassurance that we both ultimately want the same thing. ride this thing until the wheels fall off. i just hope and pray that he really means and lives by what he says. i REALLY and TRULY have some serious feelings continuously growing for him. i mean it’s so serious i even pray for him. not just a little God bless my boyfriend. or a God keep him for me. or anything to do with me. i just pray for him in general. the very first time i did we were laying in the bed and he was asleep for the night. i put my hand on his head/face and i prayed for that man head to toe. and i have never genuinely just prayed for a significant other besides when they went through something or me asking the Lord to help me keep them or whatever.

i know ultimately all of this will be worth it. i know that things will get better for my life. i’m not worried about the outcome of me moving here. i’m just stressing myself while i’m in the process of .. you know? this will be fine. i will be fine. and if it’s really meant for bae and i to be anything , it’ll work out. i just don’t want to go through all of this in my own head mess anymore. if anyone knows the cure to this madness , PLEASE share!! hell. this shit sucks right now. and i don’t have bae to lay with or cuddle up next to when i do have my vulnerable and saddening moments. it’s tough. really really tough.

yet I still stand firm and say Thank You Jesus! 🙌🏾 this battle is not mine , but yours. have your way Lord. have your way.

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