#half of these already exist in Bad Sequels

[esamastation]

Shizuroth, part two?

-

In a restroom near the infirmary, Shen Qingqiu takes a long look at himself, at his life, at his situation.

Though he's not Shen Qingqiu anymore, is he? He's someone else now. Someone super tall, super buff, super dangerous, from what he remembers - someone, who like all the great superstars, only has one name.

Sephiroth.

It scarcely makes sense. Actually, it doesn't make any sense! And neither does his mirror reflection! Nor the utterly ridiculous coat he's supposed to be wearing! Even Binghe didn't have his chest this badly exposed! There's so much leather! Leather trousers and boots and coat and no shirt, at all, just his chest all out for the whole world to see!

Shen Qingqiu's adopted xianxia sensibilities are swooning in shock at the indecency. Indecency, he says! He's used to wearing the minimum of six layers, none of them skin tight, and in the meanwhile Sephiroth barely fits into three! Technically two and a half! 

Sephiroth is - he looks like -

He actually looks a lot like Shen Qingqiu? Mostly around the face. Same kinda narrow features, sharp eyes, straight nose… the colouring and the, ahem, proportions are a bit off - Sephiroth is huge, maybe even taller than Binghe! Muscles on muscles, seriously! But, give him a hair dye and some robes, and, well. He might pass for Shen Qingqiu's taller, buffer brother!

Which is kinda, ahem. Shen Yuan sort of also had that resemblance, just in the other direction. Smaller and softer. It probably means something, but he's too busy trying to get his stupid indecent leather coat to close at the front to care.

The coat does not close. It's literally too small. Who would've thought, the big bad badass boss of Final Fantasy VII had his tits out, because his clothes were just too small! What, did he out grow them?

Get a new coat!

Giving up on the clothes, Shen Qingqiu - or should he think of himself as Sephiroth now? - runs his only slightly shaking hands over and down his hair. At least that's sort of familiar. Sephiroth's hair is a bit longer than Shen Qingqiu's, but at least he's used to handling long hair like it. The colour is new, and he can tell it hasn't been oiled like his used to be in PIDW, but instead it has that nostalgic quality of being conditioned. And that's, honestly, something to look forward to! Shampoo and conditioner and, oh, gods, showers! Not only that, but there's electricity, and there are electrical appliances - so, following that logic, Sephiroth might even have a hairdryer!

If only it didn't come with the burden of becoming yet another doomed-to-die villain. At least it's not a scum villain this time - no, just the crazy one with mommy issues who tries to destroy the planet! Fun!

Curiously gathering his hair into a loose version of Shen Qingqiu's usual updo, he turns his face this way and that. Damn, but Sephiroth is pretty. Glowing green eyes and hair like spun silver, and body of Adonis. Yet another beautiful man with a terrible past and worse future. 

Maybe Shen Yuan's soul is cursed in some way. 

Dropping the hair and letting it cascade back down over the pauldrons capping his already ridiculously broad shoulders, he leans over the restroom sink and tries to remember what even happened in FFVII.

It's been well over two decades since he played it! It or Crisis Core - or whatever it was, the PSP sequel-prequel thing with Zack? Sephiroth had made a bunch of cameos in other games too, and then there was the movie - so who knows which version he's in! Which timeline, which moment in which timeline? Maybe he's in Kingdom Hearts! He could be! For all he knows, he might be in some official novel version, and he'd never read any of those, if they even exist!

Safe to say it's before the main game, though, what with him being alive and, judging by things… in Shinra. Figure they probably wouldn't be doing medical stuff for him if he'd already stabbed the president to death. And that happened years after he died, so, uh… it's probably somewhere in the Crisis Core era. Or any number of the mobile games that took place in between, though he'd never really looked into those. So. Uh…

After having his life revolve around PIDW and cultivation and Luo Binghe, it's weird, trying to remember an ancient PS1 game. Though he'd played it emulated on the computer. Thankfully, he's not in that version, graphics-wise, that would've been painful. And speaking of pain…

If nothing else, he's well out of Luo Binghe's reach now, far better than he would've been in just the Sun and Moon Dew Flower body. He paid back his debts best he could when he self-destructed, and now he's off to a whole different world, genre, even the media is different! No being torn limb from limb here! Just a lot of stab wounds. And, well, maybe some medical torture. And, uh, several short-term resurrections followed by more stabbing to death… while slowly losing his mind… and growing extra limbs… uh.

Still, definitely an upgrade from years upon years as a tortured human stick before being killed by his favourite character! And he doesn't even have a System here! No OOC lock! No B-points or System punishments!

He lights incense in his heart for Airplane-bro, all the while nodding to himself in congratulations for this positive turn of events. Airplane would've felt similarly in his boots, surely. His ridiculous, knee-high, edgelord boots. 

Feeling a little better, he rummages through Sephiroth's pockets and comes away with a treasure trove of props. Keys, key cards, glowing marbles of Magic, which he knows are Materia, but which to his lingering Shen Qingqiu sensibilities look a lot like first grade spirit stones… and best of all…

He brings it out slowly and holds it up reverently. It's the most special, most magical thing he's seen in years! It's so beautiful, he could weep!

Sephiroth, it so happens, has a smartphone.

-

*muffled giggling*

#Fanfiction #Svsss #Ffvii #Shen Yuan #Shen Qingqiu #Sephiroth

[wayfayrr]

Sky being self aware had been plaguing my mind since I wrote this other piece where he confronts you about having played through his game, however while you could read this as a sequel it is written as something separate!

before the main thing though just gonna say, I don't actually support yandere behaviour in real life - I don't usually mention this because in my opinion it goes without saying, however since reader borders a little bit on being one in this I just wanted to make it clear!

[masterlist]

It’s been so long since I last played Skyward Sword, Really I think the last time I picked it up was at least a year ago now. I’d almost forgotten I actually had it on the switch, if it weren’t for me needing to do a clear out I might have never remembered that I had this. I’ve got some spare time right now so really there shouldn’t be an issue if I took a break to play for a while would there? In the worst case I’d get distracted for a bit, but it’s not like I can’t just carry on cleaning tomorrow. Setting up the game was easier than ever, not like setting up any switch game is particularly hard though. My old save was still waiting patiently, I could never bring myself to delete it even after getting a hundred percent. Perhaps it’s finally time to try out hero mode for the first time?

The opening cutscene is nice to watch again, even if I can’t help but feel bad for Link in it, seeing what it’s building up to. Huh? I could’ve sworn my controllers were working a second ago, they can’t have disconnected during the cutscene either, could they?

“[Name]? Dearest… you’ve finally come back…”

What.

It’s like I’ve just been plunged into ice water - I- I’m dreaming right? I have to be, there’s no way this could possibly be real. He’s a game character. Link can’t be speaking to me as if he’s a real person. He can’t be.

“Darling, You - you look so pale are you alright?”

Another step toward the screen, a head-tilt and clear concern on his face. More than possible. I knew it, this has to be a dream.

“Darling, I know that this is strange for you - don’t you think it’s strange for me as well? I mean - I know I’m not supposed to exist as I do. I’m only supposed to be a blank slate for you to play this game as not - not have my own feelings.”

A sharp inhale laced with the sounds of static reverberated throughout the room, with a far too alive sounding sniffle as he wiped his eyes and took yet another step closer. Even eerier was the laugh that followed when he made eye contact with me, something sad and wet sounding like he’s barely holding himself together. It sounds too real.

“It’s been so long I thought that you - I thought that you forgot me. That you weren’t going to come back. I hoped - no I knew - that you didn’t though and you didn’t! You came back to me my love and now I’m not going to let you out of my sight again. I know that it wasn’t your fault that you took so long, I - I mean you didn’t even know that I’m alive but I’m not going to risk it happening again.”

He’s right up against the screen now, staring at me as he presses his hand up against it, like he’s testing it. Gently testing as if he’s trying to see how much pressure the glass can take. If there’s any time best to wake up already it would be now. 

“I’ve been stuck in here alone for so long, if I didn’t have something to focus on I would have gone insane! Can you imagine that? If I didn’t have you to think about all that time I would have lost myself! I was made for you; I know you care about me as well. Please [name] I - I don’t know who I’m supposed to be any more, I’m not - not your character. I’m so much more than that empty husk.”

His hand pushes further on the glass as his fingers tense up, now like he’s preparing himself for something. Link, I’ve never seen him - any version of him in any version of the games acting even half as emotive as this. That proves that this is all a dream, he can’t be - this can’t be real. 

“There’s one other thing that being trapped in here for all this time has let me focus on I think I know how to get out now… If I press this just-”

A sickeningly twisted smile found its way onto his face with each shrill crack of the glass screen under his hand. The other moving up to join it as he pushed even harder, intending to shatter the barrier, he’s convinced himself is standing between us. My chest feels so tight right now, why am I so sore in a dream?  If I were awake I’d be convinced I was having a panic attack but - no- no I’m not awake.

“Right. Then - Well you can see can’t you dearest? If I carry on like this, there won’t be any-”

A loud wince as his hand shatters through the screen, the glass shards cutting through his skin effortlessly marring both him and the remaining screen with - with his blood. The laughter that followed the screen cutting to blank with his hand reaching through seemed to tighten the band that’s seemingly wrapped itself around my lungs making it harder still to breathe. How could I breathe when link - the link is dragging himself out of my tv. 

“Come on darling..? I know you feel the same way about me, I’ve heard you say it all. So please don’t just stand there looking terrified. You have no reason to be scared of me, I love you so much [name]. Can’t you see I’m doing this so that we can be together? I can’t wait to finally hold you in my arms.”

Frozen. That’s the only way I can describe how I’m feeling right now, my once-warm blood has turned to ice within my veins. He’s not stopping. His shirt that was once a pale beige is now stained with red patches, as his head and torso are out of the screen now. What was once a comforting face to see, one of my favourite characters is staring me down with a downright vicious grin while he is dripping with his own blood. Even beneath all of that though, there’s still something so tender, so scared about him, something is worrying him.

“Please darling you’re so pale, you don’t need to be scared - I promise you everything is going to be alright. [name] please just say something to me…”

Dark spots are starting to show in my vision now and… I’m not sure if this is a dream anymore. There are too many things adding up that don’t make any sense. But if it’s not that, I don’t…

“[NA]-”

><><><><

Did I pass out? I mean it really feels like I did, but I don’t feel like I hit anything. If I passed out when I was alone then I would’ve hit my head on something. Maybe I’m just waking up from that weird dream. Hopefully. Although that wouldn’t explain -

“You’re alright darling, I’m here. I’ve got you, you’re safe, you’re alright.”

Why I feel like someone’s holding me? 

“Oh dearest you’re finally awake… You - you scared me you know? I didn’t think I was going to be able to catch you, that you were going to get hurt. I’m so glad that I did though love.” It wasn’t a dream. That was Link’s voice, the same one as before. It’s link thats holding me in his arms. Link that’s nuzzling into my hair as he seems to be fighting off tears. That means… That means…

“...Everything was real..?  I - you - it…”

He’s holding me so gently like he’s scared of me disappearing. If what he said is true? I can’t hold  that against him with what he’s said, but even still. I can’t just stay in his arms pretending that him stroking my face with bloodstained hands isn’t bothering me. He’s so happy though and he isn’t hurting me really why don't I just - no I have to tell him that this is making me uncomfortable. 

“All of it, all of it was real [name] and I couldn’t be more glad that it is, because it means that I’m finally here with you.”

“Link…”

“Yes dear?”

… this is all real. I’m actually talking to him. He’s real. And he’s downright obsessed with me. 

“You - you’re still bleeding, you should deal with that and- and with everything.”

I’m not sure that was the right thing to say, but why shouldn’t I not accept him. This isn’t some stranger, it’s Link. One of my first fictional crushes, he’s probably heard the things I’ve said about him; since I’ve said in the past if I got a chance like this that I would take it… why not see where this goes? He looks adorable like this, hopefully, if he stays like this long enough I’ll be able to get the image of him crawling through my tv out of my mind. 

“I - you’re worried about me, love? I - I knew that you’re my soulmate, oh my dear. You're so beyond perfect.”

“We should go get you some bandages Link. I know you’re not quite used to everything yet so I wouldn’t want you to get an infection immediately.”

Yeah, I’m not going to let this chance slip. He’s so much nicer in person, why should I throw this away? He’s perfect and now?

He’s mine.

#linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe #link x reader #yandere link #yandere legend of zelda #yandere sky #self aware au #self aware lu #moss✦writes

[dixieconley]

In Which Anakin Was Chosen To Fuck Shit Up

Idea courtesy of @justafanwarrior: What i'm seeing is Anakin calling Padmé in panic because "I took down the Senate! It was an accident! Well not really they were allowing slavery, but I didn't mean to like, take over the Galaxy! Please help me manage things and uh not having to be in charge? Please Angel?" and @vaugemessenger: He would probably also take down the senate in the process for allowing the zygerrian slave empire to exist without consequences

Sequel to:

Rex (the one with the brain cell): You do realize that by killing the chancellor, we've essentially declared martial law, leaving you in charge of the Republic right now, sir? Anakin: ::anakin.exe has stopped working:: Rex: Sir? They want to negotiate a surrender. What do you want to do? Fives: Overthrow the patriarchy! Establish a fast food empire! What? I could really go for some fries right now. Echo: We're free and in charge. I guess that means the general really *is* the Chosen One.

[Flashback to two months after arriving at the temple: Obi-Wan: I want you to visit the creche, Anakin. The initiates there are your age and it would really be best if you had friends that aren't droids. (Everyone really hates C3P0. Vos is considering going dark side. 'Just to violently dismember it then melt its metal in the nearest sun. Then I'll come back. We can go to Dex's after and celebrate. It'll be fun!') Anakin: I really hate you right now. ::at the creche:: Initiate: ::::pissed that this dickhead somehow has a master and she's maybe never going to get one:: How do you rate a master, pipsqueak?:: (Yes, it's Barriss. Of *course*, it's Barriss.) Anakin: I'm the Chosen One! Initiate: Chosen for what? Fucking shit up? Anakin: … Initiate: Yeah. Thought so. Get back to me on that.]

Anakin: ::panicking:: Angel, Angel, I really need you. You have no idea how bad I need you right now. Padme: Well, okay, but this is a strange time for a booty call. Anakin: No, listen-- wait, what? …uh, what are you wearing? ::twenty minutes later and relevant explanations issued while relaxed and no longer panicking:: Padme: I was born for this.

Anakin: Master, please! I really need your help! Obi-Wan: What did you accidentally on purpose destroy this time? Anakin: Hey! That's so not fair! I… okay, so I *did* kinda take down the chancellor, but only 'cause he made me a slave master, and now Padme says I'm technically in charge of the Republic because he had all these powers and for some reason made me his heir plus they're kinda scared of what I'll do since I blew up half the Senate building. And Dooku called and I kinda maybe ordered the GAR to glass Serenno and guess what? Dooku, um, made *you* his heir which makes you technically in charge of the Separatists, so… Obi-Wan: … Anaking: Master? Obi-Wan: What I'm hearing is that the war is over and I can finally get some sleep. Anakin: Master?? Obi-Wan: ::already snoring:: Anakin: I really hate you right now.

Anakin gets named emperor and nopes out of the day-to-day side of running an empire. Padme's his wife, which makes her the empress, she can do this. She was a queen once, right? How different could it be?

But being emperor *does* give him power to give the GAR orders and a LOT of sway with the Jedi council. So Anakin takes up slaver hunting as a hobby. (Senator Free Taa, I'm looking at you.) The Zygerrians and the Hutts go on the endangered species list. So do the Kaminoans. Most of the GAR joins in gleefully. (They take holos for everyone who isn't be there when Tipoca City is destroyed then exploded then vaporized. They may be holding a grudge. There's a huge viewing party. And a yearly celebration.)

Fives is named the duke of fast food. Dex's becomes the official caterer for the royal family and entourage. And if that entourage coincidently happens to be officially defined as the 501st? He isn't the one who determines such things. (Echo is, and is in on it for the milkshakes.)

The Force bubbles with delight. It chose the right person to fuck shit up.

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #crack fic #crack #anakin skywalker #sw clone wars #sw fanfic #captain rex #padme amidala #anakin takes over the republic accidentally #as you do #fives is duke of fries #arc trooper fives

[lloydfrontera]

Is Berkis (or dragons) the most powerful being in tged? Or is it the angels? I can't remember it correctly but i think when lloyd fought with Raphael Berkis implied he won't win against an angel?

errr not really?

ok first things first, yes dragons are very powerful, but berkis is,, especially so.

you might be misremembering a comment solitas' made about something his mother told him when he was younger

High-ranking angels. Even though Solitas was young, he had heard about them. And he knew one thing for sure. He'd be stronger than me. His mother's teaching came to his mind. She taught me that angels were strong. She told me how difficult it is to against them because it's not easy to leave damage on their body. It's better to fight three or four low-ranking angels or one mid-ranking angel if you're an ordinary dragon.

later that chapter berkis does stop him from fighting raphael but it's not really cause he's worried he's too strong for even berkis to defeat him. he just thinks it's bothersome. fighting with angels makes life too complicated.

"You don't want to get involved with an angel. It's only going to complicate your life as a dragon." "What?" Solitas stopped. Berkis grinned mysteriously. "The devils in Hell pretend to obey you if you overpower them, but the angels are different. They're a terrible bunch of inflexible folks who play it exactly by the books and never back off on a decision unless they agree with it. They're as flexible as a piece of iron." "I do not get what you mean..." "And now," Berkis kindly went on, "an angel, a high-ranking angel at that, made a direct appearance in our world. What does that tell you? It shows that he's here to implement a decision that was already made. So, stay out of this, kid. You can't bend an angel's dogged will with your powers, and even if you do, you'll only leave a bad impression and make your life miserable."

again, none of this indicates that berkis thinks he won't win against an angel, just that he thinks solitas can't or that even if he can it will only make things worse because then they'll have a bunch of pissed off angels to deal with.

furthermore! the sequel very strongly implies that berkis is at the same level as the rulers of the other realms, like the king of hell and the archangel.

there's a line in ch 563 that makes me go crazy when i think too hard about the implications of it but we're gonna ignore them for now and focus on the important bit.

so while they're both getting scammed by rakiel, lloyd talks to javier telepathically on a 'channel dedicated to the Absolutes'. and then. they start talking to berkis through it too, telling him that 'wouldn't it be better to have three absolutes rather two?' while they practice how to defeat the demon king. which. means that just as javier and lloyd are the absolutes of hell and heaven respectively, berkis is an absolute of the mortal realm. if not thee absolute of the mortal realm.

so like. yeah. berkis is in a completely different level than any other dragons. in fact he's strong enough that when he was barely an adult he defeated in one hit a dragon who destroyed half the world by himself. so imagine how strong he is now that he's had plenty to grow up.

also fun fact he's only the dragon king because chayoung said he was? like?? he didn't think he was before she arrived but she'd been told a dragon king existed (maybe a fairytale?) so when she saw berkis she just?? kinda assumed it was him?? and much to his horror it stuck aaksjkldsf

so uhm,,, yeah asjkhdjks

#hey i got an ask #Anonymous #tged #the greatest estate developer #cpsm spoilers #i became the dragon king's chef #berkis #anyway did you guys know the webcomic for ibdkc is completely out in indonesian??? i am soooo fine and normal about that i prommy #totally do not want to go and translate it episode by episode :)))))) #ch 317 #ch 563 #ep 1

[ohblackdiamond]

"c'mon, get your feet wet" (ace/peter) (nc-17)

“Gene’s been buying Paul cute little outfits. I saw ’em.”

Peter snorted.

“He would go for that shit.”

“Blouses. And a couple dresses, too. Like he was a real girl, what the hell.” Ace shook his head. “I bet he even got Paul some lingerie. What would you go for?”

Sequel to "shock them, show them." After his tryst with Paul, a still-sexswapped Ace heads to Peter's house for room and board, and a little company.

This features the most uncoordinated member of KISS attempting sex in the shower. I'm sorry.

“c’mon, get your feet wet”

by Ruriruri

Ace left Paul’s place quicker than he’d initially intended. Partially because of Gene’s oncoming arrival, but also because he’d gotten what he’d come for. He’d figured some things out. He’d figured out sleeping with another girl wouldn’t end the curse. 

It hadn’t been the main reason he’d fooled around with Paul, but it had been a reason. A theory to test out. Too bad. Less than a day in, and Ace’s chest was already starting to get on his nerves. His breasts weren’t big at all– when he’d looked down at himself, there was almost nothing to them, and when he’d cupped one, it didn’t even quite fill up his hand– but they felt huge just because they were there when they shouldn’t be. They had felt huge since that morning, and that feeling had only faded when he’d come up to Paul’s a bit later on. That poor bastard’s tits were actually huge. They had even bounced some during their tryst. Ace wondered if they were making his back hurt.

Wondering about Paul’s tits. Not the most constructive use of his time right now. Ace sighed, mechanically going through his limited options as he changed lanes. His material possessions currently consisted of his wallet, his keys, his car, his wedding ring (too loose for his finger now, so it was now on his left thumb), and his clothes (half of which were borrowed from Paul). He had the cash to hunker down in a hotel for awhile. He could turn around and stay at Paul’s free of charge, and grimly expect to end up watching Gene moon over Paul for however long this lasted. Or he could go to Peter’s. 

Peter was having his usual wife trouble. Or rather, Lydia was having her usual Peter trouble. Ace couldn’t really blame Lydia. Mellow as Ace was, he probably would’ve outright left Peter a long time ago if he’d been a chick.

Well. He was one right now. He wondered if he’d risk her being there to greet him at the door– Lydia, of course, had met his whole family more than once, so he couldn’t pass himself off as his older sister or anything– then decided he’d go ahead. He was sober enough that he could think up a good excuse for her. He was sober enough to think up anything.

–

It might, Ace decided later, have been a good idea to call Peter up before showing up at his doorstep. Peter’s expression at seeing Ace there was even worse than when he’d finally recognized Paul.

“Jesus Christ. Ace?!”

Peter looked utterly horrified. Ace was a little horrified, too, for a different reason. Jeanette and Paul had always been shorter than him, so he hadn’t had a really good reference for how much height he’d lost until standing in front of Peter. Peter, who he was now at eye-level with. 

Damn. Tall for a chick didn’t even register as average for a guy. Not a new revelation, but thoroughly depressing.

“Whatever Paul’s got, I caught,” he said in response, catching how Peter’s gaze was flickering from his face down the length of his body, non-existent tits and even more narrowed shoulders and skinny legs and all. “Gimme a beer.”

“How? I mean, did you sleep with that chick, too?”

“Nah. I just caught it. C’mon, Petey,” and he ended up brushing past him, heading from the foyer into the kitchen, and getting a can of beer out of the fridge for himself, then one for Peter. “Help me out over here.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He sat down in Peter’s living room and took a long swallow of the beer. It had been too long, an hour or more, since he’d had the two at Paul’s. He wanted something heavier, really, but it had occurred to him that in this body, his tolerance was probably shot in comparison. “I stopped at Paul’s earlier. Figured he needed to know first.”

Peter nodded slowly. Ace handed him the other can of beer, which he took and popped open without his gaze ever leaving Ace’s face as he sat down beside him. Ace tried to smile.

“C’mon, man, you knew I wasn’t gonna have any boobs–”

“You look fine.”

“You think? Paul’s mirror could’ve been a little more flattering–”

“Screw Paul,” Peter mumbled idly. 

“I already did.”

Peter gave him a long look, and then he laughed, shaking his head. 

“I mean, he did this to you.”

“He didn’t mean to. I told you, I just caught it. I know I never got with that chick.” Ace tended to get with less women than Paul in general, for one, and his preference on the road was tall, skinny brunettes. Not that he wouldn’t deviate occasionally, but… he just couldn’t see it. If the girl had gotten with him, too, they probably would’ve been cursed at the same time. That was the logic he was operating under, at least. But maybe he was wrong, maybe curses didn’t operate under any logic. 

“How would you catch it when you were only in the same room with him for a couple hours?”

“I dunno. Maybe he’s just suffused with magic or some shit. Like, like a lightning rod. Or a battery, like you just gotta tap in.” Ace shrugged. “The wires probably just got crossed. It doesn’t really matter as long as we both get back in the end.”

Peter inclined his head briefly, but didn’t look too convinced.

“How do you feel?”

“Lighter? Shorter? I don’t fucking know.” He could already tell that the beer wasn’t going to loosen him up appropriately. In front of Paul, a man who was a ball of nerves even when he was normal, and had, in his opinion, only gotten worse since the curse, he could relax in compensation. Equal and opposite reactions. In front of Peter, it was harder to put on. He took another long swallow. “How long can you put me up, Curly? I got sixty bucks in my wallet.”

“No charge.”

“No time limit? Whatcha gonna do about Lydia?”

“Aw, shit.” Peter pursed his lips. “You got any cousins you can pretend to be?”

“Not any that look like me.”

“Lydia won’t know the difference.”

“I’m not that good at faking it. When’s she coming home? I’ll get a hotel before she gets here.”

“She’ll be back on Monday. Don’t worry about it right now. You hungry?”

Ace’s only sustenance had been the beer at Paul’s and the beer he was currently swilling down. He shook his head, only for his stomach to gurgle loudly.

“Do you have any Valium? Paul took a lot out of me.” He didn’t wait for an answer, already getting up  trudging towards the narrow kitchen cabinets above the stove, where Peter kept most of the drugs he actually had prescriptions for. Only Peter stood, too, holding up a hand to block him from tugging open the cabinet door.

“I ain’t giving you Valium right now.”

“Petey, c’mon.”

“No.”

“I’m not asking for coke, Jesus. I just wanna take the edge off.”

“Uh-uh.”

Ace stood there in silence for a moment or two, mouth tense, before giving up and heading back to the couch, to finish off the rest of the beer instead. All Peter was allowing out of him so far.  Funny how Peter had seen him bombed out of his mind and blackout drunk probably fifteen times just this year, but couldn’t bear to let him pair a single beer with benzos now. Did he come off as that fragile, or was what was left of Peter’s conscience rearing its head?

“You’d give it to me yesterday. Hell, you’d give it to a groupie if she batted her eyes real cute.”

“I don’t wanna see you falling over and passing out while you’re like this, that’s all.”

“I’ll be your Sleeping Beauty. Wake me up with true love’s kiss.”

“You better settle for a hamburger,” Peter retorted, and sauntered off to the fridge.

–

Ace watched Peter make the hamburgers on the stove, not without some interest. He had never learned to cook himself, and, up until they’d first all been stuck on the road together with no budget, had figured none of the rest of the guys could, either. As it turned out, Paul and Peter could make a rough go of it, if they really had to. Peter was even taking the extra step of chopping up some onions and tossing them in the pan with the hamburger patties.

He wondered if another beer would be pressing his luck. He was proven right when Peter handed him a Pepsi along with the hamburger.

“Y’know, if you keep me this close to sober I might get depressed,” Ace managed to crack as he popped the top. Peter, he’d noticed, had barely touched the beer he’d given him prior.

“Half the band has tits now. I think we all better stay sober.”

Responsibility from Peter felt like ice water right on top of his head. Ace opted to change tactics, shifting on his barstool perch by the kitchen island. Harder to get comfortable somehow. Peter was sitting beside him instead of in front of him.

“Gene’s been buying Paul cute little outfits. I saw ’em.”

Peter snorted. 

“He would go for that shit.”

“Blouses. And a couple dresses, too. Like he was a real girl, what the hell.” Ace shook his head. “I bet he even got Paul some lingerie. What would you go for?”

“You eating that, to start off with.”

“You’re taking this pretty damn well. Do you get off to it like Geno does?”

Peter didn’t answer. Ace didn’t know why he was doing that to Peter. Pricking at him in that halfassed way of his when all he’d done was be kind enough to let him stay there. It wasn’t entirely because of his enforced borderline-sobriety. Ace didn’t push, taking a bite of the hamburger, and then another. The meat was a little pink, but he didn’t complain, retrieving ketchup and mustard from the fridge and dousing it liberally on the burger. At least he had about the same appetite: too much of one, for his overall build. Still a mass of very skinny limbs paired up with a slightly pouchy gut.

“Jeanette really flipped,” he heard himself say out of nowhere. “I didn’t even know what happened, man, I was still asleep and she was screaming at me in bed. I woke up, y’know, I-I figured it out pretty quick. I tried to tell her. She… she was terrified. She had a flashlight she was gonna brain me with. I said, ‘c’mon, I’m Paul, I’m your husband’... nothing. I was picking stuff up off the dresser and explaining what it was and trying to tell her, to prove it… I’m lucky I even got clothes and the keys. I’m lucky she didn’t call the cops on me.”

He felt Peter’s hand rest on his shoulder, and stiffened up just momentarily. 

“Peter, I…” Ace swallowed. “I’m fucking terrified, okay? I told Paul it was all right, but that’s bullshit. This sucks. It fucking sucks. And not… I don’t care about how I look that much. I just can’t do what I wanna do. I can’t really drink, you won’t let me get high…”

“That’s for your own good, Ace.”

“And I can’t… Jeanette, we… right now, I couldn’t even have her the way I’d wanna. Even if she did believe me, ’s not fair to her. She wouldn’t want me as a chick. I know that much.”

He was twisting the wedding band on his thumb without even realizing it. He’d only been married a year now. He had tried and failed at avoiding groupies, but Jeanette, for her part, had let it go as long as it stayed on-tour. No weird chicks calling at their house. Jeanette had never cared much about his occasional fooling around with Bobby– that had, in all honesty, started before their dating– but girlfriends were another matter. He knew he wasn’t doing her right regardless, but at least he wasn’t like Zappa. He hadn’t had any women he’d see for more than the night of a concert. 

For at least a couple brief moments, before “Beth” really exploded, he’d thought they might settle down a little bit and ease up on the tours, even. Have a kid. It had been an eventuality before, but now that the option was completely off the table, he mourned it. It was a funny, peculiarly feminine thing to mourn. Maybe it was the hormones, or maybe it was the beer.

Either way, he hated giving in like this, hated confessing like this, even to Peter. Self-doubt he ought to be able to chase off with champagne. Couldn’t even do that anymore. All his vices down the drain, sacrificed to the altar of his current body.

Paul had made out so much better than he had. Still had his house and his car and all that, for now. Even had Gene willing to accompany him wherever he needed to go. Play boyfriend to someone who wouldn’t even give it up. He could tell from how tense Paul had been with him that he’d never come close to letting Gene. All Gene was getting out of the arrangement was a little play-pretty dress-up. Gene was such a sucker, in his way. Ace sighed.

“I wanna… I wanna feel like there’s still something I can do just the same, y’know?”

“There is. C’mon downstairs.”

Ace looked at Peter for a long moment, then nodded, getting up from the barstool. He picked the Pepsi up before following him down the stairs.  Either side of the walls held an odd mishmash of paraphernalia– normal stuff like his and Lydia’s wedding, their respective baby pictures, family photos, and then KISS photos and gold albums and a couple newspaper headlines and articles.

“Aren’t you worried I’m gonna pass this on to you?”

“Nah. I’d make too ugly a girl,” Peter said, then laughed.

“We’d need a new band name. Hugs or some shit like that.” Ace traced a finger across his own glass-encased face on one of the photos. “Bill and Sean’d kill us.”

“They would,” Peter said, sounding distracted. The basement was decorated with a tastefulness Ace wasn’t too sure Peter actually possessed. Wood paneling everywhere. Potted plants. Nice, plush furniture. Peter gestured towards the loveseat. “Sit down. Close your eyes.”

Ace closed his eyes, then exaggeratedly puckered out his lips. He felt Peter flick a finger against his cheek.

“Cute, Ace.”

“Be still my fucking heart.”

“Stay there.” Ace heard the creaking of a door, then Peter rummaging around for a bit before that door closed again. “Now hold out your hands.”

“Petey, if you’re handing me your dick, you don’t need me to close my eyes to jerk it off, trust me.”

“Maybe later. Just hold ’em out for me.”

Ace felt the familiar weight of wood against his lap a moment later. He didn’t have to wait for Peter to arrange his hands around the instrument to know what it was.

“Open your eyes.”

A guitar. A beat-up Silvertone acoustic, about the only guitar Peter even had. It was a leftover from early on that had ended up at his and Lydia’s old apartment, that Ace had kept meaning to pick up but never bothered to, and so it had moved with them to Connecticut, stuck in its case in the basement.

“Out of tune, yeah?”

“You’re the last one that played it.”

The tone was still there, at least. Ace tuned it within a minute or two, then messed with the beginning of a solo. Just fooling around. “Paperback Writer.” That had been one of the first songs he’d ever picked out, back when he was a teenager. It was easy. Most of the earlier Beatles stuff was. The intro to “Satisfaction” next– gratified when Peter started to tap out the rhythm on the arm of the couch. The notes were coming out okay. Not beautiful, but okay. Something was off, and he already knew what it was.

“My parents, they wanted me to learn piano.” 

He said it quietly, as though he didn’t expect Peter to answer. 

“How’d you get out of it?”

“I said it was faggy,” Ace admitted. “Everybody in my family plays something. We’re all musicians. My sister and Charlie took piano lessons, y’know, before Charlie got into playing guitar and started music school. But I… soon as I got an electric guitar, and a little Japanese amp, that was it. I was gone. Aw, Jesus, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, Peter.”

“Why not? I wanna hear it.”

“We had a piano in the house, right, and sometimes I’d still try to play by ear a little, but…” he trailed, suddenly helpless. “I couldn’t reach past an octave.”

“Sure, that’s because you never learned how.”

“You don’t get it. That’s how it is right now. My fingers don’t stretch as far anymore. I can play okay, but the feel’s all off.” He handed the guitar back, guilt mingling with the bile somewhere in his throat. Peter was trying. He was trying so damn hard to cheer him up. Why couldn’t he just fake it in front of him? Try and laugh it off, the way he had with Paul? Why couldn’t he fall into the old routines? He shook his head, half at himself. “L-let’s go to 54, okay? You and me. We’ll… we’ll relax, we’ll find that Carol chick, and…”

“Not right now, man.”

“Don’t tell me not right now.” God. His voice was getting more shrill by the second. He took a deep breath. “’M okay. ’M okay. No wife, no money, no band, no dick, no tits, but I’m okay. It’s funny. I don’t cheat on her half as bad as you cheat on Lyd but I-I–”

Peter reached for him. Ace got up, stumbling past him and hurrying up the stairs, heading towards the front door. Peter grabbed his arm before he could open it. 

“Ace, don’t be an idiot!”

“I’m just gonna drive.”

“No!”

Peter had both his arms now. Ace yanked, and yanked hard, but couldn’t pull away. He remembered, sickly, that time on Paul’s front porch. Paul had tried to pin him up against the door. It had been laughable, downright cute, seeing that pretty brunette glaring up at him furiously, standing on his foot like he couldn’t have overpowered her without even trying, if he’d really wanted to–

“Would you stop treating me like a fucking chick?!”

“I’m not!”

“You are. You and everybody else.” Thinking about how Paul had pulled the old Starchild treatment on him made his face burn now. “You think I’m gonna crash?”

“No.”

“Think I’m gonna get drunk and pass out in an alley somewhere?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“If I did that yesterday, you wouldn’t have cared. Do tits count for that much in your book?”

Peter looked like he was about to snap back there for a second or two. But he didn’t. That was surprising. Peter could pop off at anything. Always had some retort. Just like Paul, only there was never any calculation behind his words, just pure reaction. But Peter didn’t say anything, just finally let go of his arms. Ace stood there, and then he shook his head. 

“At least let me get drunk, Peter. Lemme do that much. I won’t leave. You can even have my keys. Okay?”

Peter looked at him for a long moment, and then, barely, shook his head.

“You got a real problem here, Ace.”

“No shit, Sherlock. One more beer.”

“Gimme your keys.”

Ace handed them over. The jangle of the keys had a finality about it. Like a prison. Peter’s expression, disturbed, uncomfortable, seemed to sink in Ace’s soul as he stuck them in his pocket.

“One beer,” Peter said, with obvious reluctance. 

–

Ace only drank half of it. It didn’t taste great when he’d had to twist Peter’s arm to get it. Peter looked like he felt so damn sorry for him that it was annoying, especially when Ace knew Peter was worse off than him with the harder stuff. 

Peter didn’t take another drink at all, just sidled next to him on the couch on the main floor. Ace flicked on the T.V. after awhile, and they watched Columbo fumble through L.A. in silence for twenty minutes or more.

“I’m sorry, Ace.”

“What for?” Ace kept his eyes fixed on the screen. Mr. Clean was demonstrating stain removal for an overwhelmed housewife.

“I don’t wanna hold you hostage. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“’M fine.”

Peter seemed to hesitate. 

“I thought… I thought if you wanna, we could see a movie or something.”

Ace usually took Peter to the movies. Or he had, before they’d gotten big. The two of them on a rare off day from concerts and rehearsals, heading into a near-empty theater in the early afternoon to watch a horror movie. That was their thing. One of their things, anyway. One of the few that only incidentally involved getting drunk when Ace would sneak in a couple liquor bottles inside his trenchcoat.

“I don’t feel that fine.”

“Star Wars is out. You said you wanted to go see that.” Peter stretched. “That guy from Bridge on the River Kwai is in it.”

“William Holden?”

“No, the British guy.”

Ace pursed his lips.

“I thought he was dead.”

“Hell if I know. It’s supposed to be a good movie.”

“Not today.” Ace stood abruptly. “I gotta piss. Lemme know if Columbo gets the guy while I’m gone.”

Peter nodded. Ace headed for the bathroom (after three and a half drinks between Paul and Peter, he really did have to go), albeit not the main one on the floor. Instead, he went to the master bathroom off from Peter and Lydia’s bedroom. After he’d washed and dried his hands, he pulled the mirrored medicine cabinet open, thumbing through more of Peter and Lydia’s prescriptions. Valium– funnily enough, they both had a prescription for that shit. Some old antibiotics. Peter had some amphetamines and various pain pills too. Nothing especially illicit, though Ace knew that Peter couldn’t ever keep a stash of coke or heroin for very long at all.

He unscrewed the cap of one of the bottles of Valium, tipping two pills into his hand. Should be enough that he wouldn’t give a shit about anything at all for several hours. He was about to take them when the cabinet door swung forward suddenly, just enough that he was forced to really face his own reflection for the first time since brushing his hair at Paul’s.

A girl’s face stared back at him, a girl’s face that didn’t look dissimilar enough to his own to really startle him much. Her complexion was uneven and noticeably quite scarred, her nose was too big, and she had narrow, dark brown eyes and a fat bottom lip. Nowhere near a knockout, but she could’ve still been sort of pretty with a little makeup. But she looked– nervous. Scared. He had never seen that expression on his own face before. It made his stomach curdle.

Was this how things were going to be from now on, if he didn’t get fixed? He’d never stooped to taking someone else’s pills before. He’d never had to. They were always available, whenever he wanted. He’d never needed to steal them, or sneak them, or beg for them. It had never even occurred to him. 

Would he be able to stay with Peter? Or would Peter just put him up in a hotel after awhile? He’d fiercely resented Peter trying to monitor him, but the thought of being left alone was suddenly even worse. He.. he could end up like one of the druggie groupies, just flitting around cheap motels and communes and whatever else. Worse. He might end up selling himself. If he was already begging Paul and Peter for booze and Valium after less than twenty-four hours of not having either at arm’s length… 

His throat felt tense and hot. He leaned against the counter, taking a shuddering breath, and dropped both pills into the sink, turning on the tap before he could change his mind. He barely even heard the knock on the door. 

“Ace? You okay in there?”

Peter. Quickly, he twisted the cap back on and stuffed the bottle back in the medicine cabinet, swinging the cabinet door shut. 

“Everything’s fine! E-everything’s fine.”

He heard the creak of the bathroom door before he saw Peter through the mirror’s reflection, noting absently how even a small, compact guy like Peter looked more intimidating compared to him now. Ace tried to rearrange his expression to something neutral as he turned around to face him.

“You’ve been in here awhile, is all.” Peter’s mouth was pursed. He looked like he was searching Ace’s face. Ace glanced away for a moment.. “I thought you might need something.”

“’M not on the rag.” Ace watched Peter’s face go florid, but somehow, the urge to laugh just wasn’t there. He blinked several times in succession, suddenly aware of how watery his eyes were. The tenseness in his throat hadn’t gone away. “Petey, could you c’mere?”

Peter took a couple steps forward, until he was standing beside him.

“Could you…”

Helpless. So damn helpless. Ace reached over, wrapping his arms around Peter, pressing his face hard against his shoulder. He wasn’t quite crying– the tears didn’t seem quite able to come, but he was on the verge enough that his breaths were hitching, uneven, and it only got worse when Peter’s arms wrapped around his waist in turn. 

“Lemme stay here,” Ace heard himself say, muffled by Peter’s shirt, “please, I can’t, I-I’ll fuck it up, you’re right, don’t leave me, don’t…”

“Who said anything about leaving you?”

Peter’s voice was softer than normal. His hand rubbed circles against Ace’s back. Peter had never done that before. Some sabotaging part of Ace mumbled that Peter was treating him like a girl, just like Paul had. But he knew better. Peter was just treating him like Ace.

“I told you not to worry about it, didn’t I? I won’t leave you by yourself. We’ll take care of everything, I swear. I don’t care how much fucking voodoo we gotta go through.”

“What if I don’t get better? And, and Paul, what’s gonna happen? Petey, I-I can’t, I can’t stay like this, I’m gonna, gonna get into trouble–”

More slow circles against his back. More tenderness than he’d ever thought Peter had in him. Sentimental, hotheaded Peter, who’d given all the guys a long-stemmed rose their first night at the Garden. Peter, who was more into coke and heroin and less into booze than he was, and despite that was trying to protect him. Ace inhaled deeply against Peter’s shirt, smelling sweat and leftover cologne, as Peter answered. 

“I got you. I got you, okay? No matter what.”

“The band–”

“The band don’t matter like you do.”

It was an effort to pull his face away from Peter’s shirt. He looked up at Peter, blinking hard a few times more, letting go of him with one arm while the other found his shoulder instead. Another deep breath. 

“You could really break a girl’s heart, y’know?”

He didn’t give Peter a chance to respond, reaching to cradle his chin in his hand, lift it up like he still needed to, before he kissed him. Not hard or rough, just needy, just wanting. Peter’s kiss back was surprised but fervent, even when Ace deepened it. Kissing him, touching him, came easy as always. Nothing they hadn’t done before a hundred times, and yet Ace had never felt this level of yearning. He didn’t understand it. Tried not to question it. Only a couple hours ago, he’d been messing around with Paul. But it hadn’t been like this, not remotely.

“I better wash up anyway, ’m pretty gross right now.”

“You really did sleep with him?” Peter shook his head, clearly amused.

“I really did. Put it on my tombstone.” Ace’s gaze drooped down to his own bare feet on the tile, and he took a breath. Any minute and Peter would head out the door. Another of their old routines disrupted. If he could only steel himself up one more time… “Hey, Peter…”

“Yeah?”

“You can come with me.” 

Peter looked at him carefully. 

“You’re not asking me to wash your back.”

“I think my front looks a little better right now. I swear I’m still not half as hairy as–”

“Ace…”

Peter wasn’t letting him get away with it. No more jokes. No more messing around. Ace licked suddenly-dry lips, his fingers toying with the hem of his old yellow t-shirt. Make me feel better. Make me feel good. Make me feel okay. 

Make me feel like you always did. Like you can’t help but do. Make me feel worth wanting. 

It was too tall an order to ask out of Peter, or anyone else. He didn’t voice it, clearing his throat.

“I wanna be with you. Do you wanna be with me?”

“Yeah. I do.”

Ace pulled open the shower door, turning on the faucet.

“There’s not much eye candy, I gotta warn you.”

“Lemme be the judge of that, Ace.”

Ace tugged off his shirt. Fuck. He should’ve suggested the bed instead of the shower. This was somehow much more exposing. He had felt a mixture of pity and mild inadequacy in front of Paul, even though Paul hadn’t exactly had any other options. In front of Peter, who, like Paul, preferred his girls tall, blonde, and busty, he bit his lip.

“See? Nothing. I make Twiggy look like Dolly Parton.”

Peter reached over, cupping one breast, lightly tweaking one nipple. Ace didn’t have too much sensation there, really, but just getting touched sent a little warmth through his skin.

“You’ve got enough to grab, that’s all you need.” Peter’s fingers slipped down, tracing the space between his breasts, down to the bit of stomach fat that had crept up gradually over the course of the last few tours, down to his jeans, which he unbuttoned and unzipped. Ace took a breath, smelling the leftover notes of Peter’s aftershave, opting to start on Peter’s clothes instead of peeling off his own, not really taking his time with it. Peter had on an Yves Saint Laurent button-down that paired amusingly with his faded blue jeans. Peter tossed the top behind him, and it landed on the sink. 

“I bet that’s dry clean only.”

“I don’t care,” Peter said.

“Don’t treat me different, okay? I can take it.”

“I know you can.”

Peter kissed him. His fingers returned to Ace’s jeans, helping him step out of them.

“Do you own any underwear at all, man?”

“Nope.” Completely naked now. Peter yanked down his own jeans and underwear at the same time, tossing them aside. His eyes were scouring Ace’s body like there was anything to look at. Rather than give him any more of an opportunity there, Ace stepped into the shower, where at least he’d be obscured by the steam. Peter followed, closing the door behind him.

It was an old routine for the three of them. Him and Peter and Paul. Group showering after a concert. They hadn’t done it as often the last tour or two, but it was still a common enough thing. Stupid shit. Smacking each other with washcloths. Handjobs. Blowjobs. It had never escalated to fullblown sex when it was the three of them in there. But when Paul couldn’t be bothered to show, and they were both high, it occasionally did.

Ace still couldn’t get over being eye-level with Peter. Peter wasted no time, mouth on his, hands roaming his chest, tracing his side all the way down to his hip. The water beat down insistently in a rhythm all its own, soaking his hair and back, hardly getting anywhere else for now. 

“You’re cute, Ace.”

“Petey, I’d be the last girl left in the Coop and you fucking know it.”

“We ain’t in the Coop.” Peter’s hand slipped between Ace’s thighs, and he murmured approvingly. “Shit, you really do need cleaning up.”

“Told you.” Ace took a step back from Peter, just enough to expose more of his body to the showerhead. Peter, meanwhile, reached for the washcloth and soap, and started to lather him up, surprising Ace by starting with his breasts and moving down from there. Despite the warmth of the water, Ace’s nipples were hard. Unsurprisingly, so was Peter.

“What was it like?”

“Sex with Paul? It was nice. He kept going at it like he still had a dick. Wore himself o–ahh.” Peter had chosen that moment to get rid of the last remaining evidence of that escapade. Ace’s thighs twitched as the soft cotton washcloth was replaced by Peter’s hand again, hips rocking slightly forward with each curious move of his fingers. Ace took another step back, then another, until his back was to the wall. “No, c’mon, c’mon, I just don’t wanna fall in here.”

“I won’t let you fall.” Peter’s other hand was steadying his shoulder. Quick laps against his neck, a couple stray kisses, all washed away, but Peter’s main focus, thankfully, was fingering him. He wasn’t nearly as cautious as Paul had been, starting out; he seemed to know almost on instinct how much Ace wanted to be filled. Plunging into him, crooking two, three fingers inside him– Ace was grunting against him, tugging him in by the shoulder, pressing their bodies in as close as he could, Peter’s hard-on against his leg a welcome promise.

“Fuck, Peter…” It hadn’t taken long to find that perfect rhythm. He was soaking, every touch felt like an electric shock, the headiness of the steam making him almost dizzy, legs wobbling, leaving him grasping Peter desperately as he groaned out his release. Peter was smiling. 

“I never get tired of seeing you come, man.”

Ace was panting too much to respond at first. It hadn’t been as intense with Paul. Maybe it was just the heat of the shower, and being upright. Maybe. All the warmth was still right there, pooling in his stomach.

“Come on. I’ll let you. Right now.” Ace could tell his words were soft, maybe a little tinny. He didn’t care, looking around for something to brace against. The shower was pretty big, but all he could bear down on besides the wall was the little bar for washcloths, right below the niche for soap and shampoos, and the bar on the door. Peter could probably manage to hold him up for awhile, if he had to, but that wasn’t all that was concerning him. Nerves, that was all, nerves and– wanting something to stay a little closer to the same, even when nothing else had. He turned around, facing the wall, spreading his legs a bit more, knees slightly bent. 

“You’re filthy,” Peter said, want and amusement in every syllable. Ace grabbed the washcloth bar with one hand, his other hand against the blue mosaic shower tile. He could feel Peter’s hand on his hip (and a cursory grope of his ass) as he angled into position. He turned as Peter nuzzled against his neck, meeting him for a wet kiss before Peter started to enter him.

Oh. Oh, fuck. Ace gripped the bar like a lifeline. Nothing like fingering. No comparison. Nothing like anal, either. Peter was taking it slow– Ace knew he was– but Ace’s breaths were coming in short bursts as he was filled, a weird, pinching kind of pain at first edging out the pleasure of it. Peter felt absolutely massive, closer to the nine inches he’d always claimed than Ace had ever believed. For a second he almost thought it was going to be too much for him. He pressed his forehead on the tile in a bid to keep his focus, keep from buckling. But the more he let himself relax, the more that pain ebbed. Peter’s first few thrusts were shallow, only building up when Ace began to groan in earnest.

“All right there?”

“All right. ’S all right.” His toes twitched. Peter had hit some spot inside him, one that made the pleasure suddenly burst firework-bright. He cursed loudly, fearful he’d slip, and now both Peter’s hands were on his hips, warm, wet, and firm.

“Steady, Ace. You got it.” Peter’s breath was hot against the back of his neck, all the encouragement Ace needed. Another couple thrusts left Ace reeling in a heady haze of need, the tiles blurring out in front of him as he came again, with no warning but a few more gasps.

“Peter, you haven’t–”

“It’s okay.”

“Keep going, keep going. I can take it. Hurry.”

Ace could feel Peter’s hesitation. Peter actually let go of his hips for a second or two, though he hadn’t pulled out.

“Ace, you don’t gotta worry about pleasing me.”

“I wanna please me, too. One more.” Ace could feel a smile tugging up the corners of his mouth, as he burst into his next request. “Cat, I wanna see you.”

“Turn around.”

“I will, once you get your dick out of me.” 

Peter complied. Ace was already wobbling as he turned, the sudden emptiness leaving him with a cold, funny feeling, but Peter immediately worked him back into position, pressing him against the wall, trying not to lose any more momentum. Facing Peter, that needy, wanting look on his face, the dark brown eyes heavy with something Ace hadn’t ever deigned to name before. Facing Peter was really facing himself, his body, everything. Whether he stayed like this or not. Whether Paul did. 

Peter urged one of Ace’s legs up, hoisting it around his waist. Ace had seen it before, out of Peter and Paul both, but he knew he was always too drunk to ever fuck a woman like this, holding her there while they were both standing up. But balanced on one leg himself, even with his other heel firmly against the shower wall– he was buckling already, and Peter hadn’t even entered him again yet. All his previous confidence about himself, about Peter, was starting to dissolve as he tried to reach for that bar again, eyes wide. 

“Jesus, I’m gonna fucking fall–”

“You’re not. Hold onto me. I’ve got you.”

“Thought I was Baby Elvis.”

“Dammit, Ace, would you stop that shit? I love you.”

Ace’s eyes went huge. His whole body froze, leg suddenly stiff and straight, the only sound the spray of the shower.

“Peter?”

“You heard me. Now hold on.”

“No, no, wait–” Ace’s wobbling started back in earnest, as bad as when he was in the heels onstage, the floor too slippery, his heart beating an off cadence. He was wet all over, juices dripping between his legs, twinges of soreness already making themselves known; he was far too aware of every unfamiliar inch of his own skin. All that was really familiar was Peter.

Peter. Gray-haired, explosive Peter. Peter who’d put him up. Peter who’d gotten high with him, slept with him, done orgies with him, supported him. Peter who he’d come to when he needed someone.

The band don’t matter like you do.

Peter was still looking him right in the eye, forthright as ever. Only the tightness of his lips betraying him now. Ace lunged forward, grasping Peter’s shoulders, tight, secure.

“Peter, listen, you…”

“You don’t have to say it back.”

“I do if I mean it.”

Even with Peter steadying him, he was already about to lose his balance again. Leaning against him this heavily, heights the same, it was easy enough to kiss him, easier than it had ever been before.

“I love you, Peter.”

Make me feel good. 

Make me feel like you always did.

Maybe like you always will.

Peter kissed him back. Over and over, a hot furor of lips crushing against lips crushing against skin. Ace felt himself get lost in it, melded there with him, before Peter began to thrust. It didn’t take long. The first thrust and Ace knew he was nearly gone, and apt to fall; with a shaky breath, he let Peter lift up his other leg, wrapping it around him. Pinned there just by Peter alone. Another thrust– Peter was cursing, crying out– Ace thought he felt something– then, as his vision blurred with his own orgasm, all he could feel, all he could touch, was that sensation, better than coke, better than alcohol, overwhelming his body with oneness, wholeness, secure and free.

– 

Ace barely remembered anything after that. Peter helping him out of the shower. Falling over, as he’d predicted, but at the sink instead of inside the shower. Then, then, he must’ve passed out from the heat of the shower and their fooling– 

No. Not fooling around at all. 

The room before him wasn’t Peter and Lydia’s bedroom, anyway. It was his parents’ old apartment. He was sitting in front of their piano, on the piano bench, next to a man that wasn’t quite a man. Someone with a lion’s head and a man’s body. Marbas. 

“You’re rather quick. You’ve completed the ritual, and yet, you didn’t know what it entailed.” Marbas smiled, exposing rows of long ivory teeth. “I had expected no less, given your occupation.”

(so we did it?)

His voice was coming out strangely, hazily. Like a fade out at the end of a song. It took real effort to speak at first.

(all i had to do was sleep with a guy, right?) 

“You had to give yourself up. Offer all you possessed.” Marbas reached over, touching Ace’s ear– Ace tried not to flinch. “Your body, of course, but a virgin sacrifice is only a portion of the requirement. You had to give him your heart as well. Willingly. To be trampled or treasured.”

(i had to love him. that’s what you mean, isn’t it?) 

“In a fashion. You’ll return to yourself in time.” 

Ace didn’t have to glance down to know he wasn’t back to normal yet. His wedding ring was still slightly loose on his thumb. But he nodded anyway.

(paul, is he gonna get back, too? if he does the same thing?)

“If that’s his desire.”

(you mean it’s not?)

“Stan has a poor grasp on the things he wants. He’d rather yearn for them from a distance than have them.” Marbas shrugged broad shoulders. “But you don’t fear your desires.”

(no)

“Even as they destroy you.”

Ace swallowed. It was suddenly hard to meet Marbas’ golden gaze.

(i do okay.)

“You’ll lose everything you have. All your comforts, all your pleasures, traded in for a bottle and some powder. You’ll crawl on your knees for a measure of recognition that’s already passed you by.”

(why are you telling me this?)

“Because it doesn’t matter. You’ve made your decision already.” Marbas grasped his left hand– Ace started to jerk it away, but the demon was too quick, tugging the thick silver wedding ring off his thumb, placing it back on his forefinger. It hung there loose for several seconds, and then the ring began to get hot, that heat spreading from the metal through his finger through his hand through the rest of his body, as painful as that electric shock, as his body shifted, warped, changed– 

He woke up hours later on Peter and Lydia’s bed, face soaked with sweat, body restored. Peter was there, already awake, and sitting up. Still naked, Ace noticed wryly. Just like him.

“You did it.”

Ace sat up. The ring on his finger glinted just slightly in the light. Jeanette. Marbas. Paul. He’d got it all back. He’d have to tell Paul how to end it. But for now, just for now, he took Peter’s face in his hands, pressed a kiss to his lips.

“We did it, Petey. Me and you.”

#kiss the band #ace frehley #peter criss #ace frehley x peter criss #kiss fanfiction

[felassanis]

As a long-time fan of Dragons Dogma. The sequel is everything I wanted. I have maybe 2 major issues with it, but it does not ruin what experience this game offers you. However, allow me to whinge real quick. Obviously HUGE SPOILERS FOR DRAGONS DOGMA 2

My only issue is that this game could've improved upon what Dragons Dogma 1 lacked. That being the main story and the romance system.

The main story is...short. And not as I depth as I'd have liked. It isn't necessarily bad just...I feel like I missed half of it. Disa and Phaesus genuinely intrigued me, and it seemed like they were setting up a bunch of plot points that suddenly just went absolutely nowhere. As if the coronation was supposed to be the beginning of something bigger for "Act 1" but then it feels like we are immediately thrusted into Act 3 out of left field!?

I am both feeling blessed and unhinged that the beloved system makes a return. I love that you can choose anyone to romance. However, I have once again gotten to the dragon only for my beloved to be NOT WHO I WANTED. Que me immediately kicking into gear to go beat up the usurper (then realising I can't) and then spending four real world days going back and forth in certain areas looking for my actual beloved because they fell off the face of the earth (an NPC tracker would've been nice)

Furthermore, while the romance system in DD1 is very bare bones. I can't help but feel miffed that romance was actually done BETTER in the original than the sequel. You get one romantic cutscene (two if you squint), and once again, players who are romantically interested in men get shafted in favour of any semblance of underlying romantic tension going to women only.

I don't think I would've wanted Bioware level of romance that exists only for certain individuals. I think that takes away the charm of Dragons Dogma. But dialogue and cutscenes that can have any npc inserted in there would've made a world of difference. The game already has it, its just used only twice. Whereas DD1 you get around four?

Despite my complaints. This game is truly something special. I know I got extremely emotional when I realised the sea ruin was Gran Soren, and seeing the world end and having the ruins of one of the most iconic locations in my gaming experience Act as a sanctuary was just....it was a lot. And in a good way. I felt rewarded for having been a long time fan.

And the additional Lore. Elves? Dwarves? Beastren? It fits so nicely into the world. To the point that DD1 will feel bare bones in contrast now.

#dragons dogma #dragons dogma 2

[anamazingangie]

iron out the kinks by AmazingAngie

Aegon II Targaryen x Daemon Targaryen x Rhaenyra Targaryen

E / 3k / Chapter One

Summary:

“I’m sorry she is so rude.” Aegon said.

“That’s okay,” Daemon said, “Some girls just need the attitude fucked out of them.”

“I–do not!” Rhaenyra said defensively.

“Really? In my experience, girl’s get so sweet after you’ve made them come a—hm, half dozen times? All fucked out and too full of cum to talk back.”

sequel to a sign of maturity (or a midlife crisis)

...

vanilla

...

Daemon almost wanted to laugh at the location Rhaenyra suggested for their first post-auction meeting. An ice cream shop, of all places. He wasn’t sure the last time he’d been to an ice cream parlor, it must have been decades at least—he honestly didn’t even realize they still existed. But a quick google search brought up the shop—complete with retro 50’s vibes and milkshakes served alongside metal shakers. 

Realizing she was serious, he agreed, eager to see her and her brother regardless of location. Even the possibility of the staff awkwardly assuming he was there with his children was not going to sway him from meeting with them. Rhaenyra responded with a thumbs up, which he assumed was young person speak for affirmative. 

Then, he tried to empty her existence from his brain—at least for the next four days. 

It was…harder than he expected. He wasn’t used to feeling so needy. He knew that domination and submission was, at its core, an equal exchange of power. He’d never thought a submissive was lesser than him simply because of their sexual preferences. Okay, that sounded bad. He’d never thought anyone was lesser than him. He was just used to having the upper hand in his relationships. He tended to be less invested than his partners, effortlessly seeming coy when in reality he just didn’t care that much.

But he cared a lot about them, already, even though they’d only spent one night together. There was a charm to the youth and eagerness the pair had. Aegon’s desire to please—the flush of his cheeks when he was talked down to, and the delight in his eyes when he was praised. Rhaenyra resisted commands, but followed them anyway, trembling slightly with pleasure when he complimented her. 

It wasn’t just their personalities though, it was their… everything. He found himself waking up with an erection like he was twenty again, after nights spent dreaming of Aegon’s pretty mouth and Rhaenyra’s tight cunt. 

He worked eighteen hour days for the rest of the week, burying himself in paperwork until he was too exhausted to think of them. It half worked. He still woke up hard, the pair tormenting him in his dreams—the submissives turning into switches, and tying him up leaving him to watch them fuck. It was like his fucking subconscious didn’t even think he deserved them, which was fair, but mean. 

After a week of little sleep and lots of work, he wasn’t quite at his best. But his suit was pressed to perfection and he was hopeful he would still impress the pair. He’d confirmed the day before via text, but other than that there hadn’t been any contact between them. It made him antsy, leaving him wondering if they were no longer interested. But there was little use worrying now, he’d be able to gauge their interest better in person—or at least he hoped he would. 

…

He wasn’t late, but he wasn’t early either, so he was unsurprised to see the siblings already seated. He greeted them by name, pressing a kiss to Rhaenyra’s cheek since she was seated on the outside edge of the booth. He smiled at Aegon, hoping his expression hid his nerves, then sat across from them. 

“You two look lovely.” He said, finding he meant it. They were dressed plainly, but the simple white garments suited them. It somehow intensified the little color there was in their pale cheeks, which brought to life the bright lilac shade of their eyes. They looked younger like this, but no less attractive for it—even if it made him disgusting to admit that. 

“You look nice, too.” Aegon responded, and Rhaenyra merely nodded.

A waitress interrupted them then, taking their orders with a bright smile before putting the little book in the front pocket of her polka dot apron. This place was… unique and Daemon said as much. 

“Doesn’t it remind you of your childhood?” Rhaenyra asked sarcastically, causing Aegon to cough and not so subtly nudge her side. Daemon should have been offended by the implication he was old enough to have fond memories of a fifties themed diner, but he found himself smiling at her attitude. 

“I’m far too old to remember my childhood, I like to relive my youth by surrounding myself with pretty young things like you.” She blushed, squirming a little in her seat in a way that only made his smile wider. 

“I’m sorry she is so rude.” Aegon said, and Rhaenyra pursed her lips at him in annoyance. By gods, they really were siblings. I mean, he knew that, but it was somehow less obvious when they were naked than when they were sniping with each other. 

“That’s okay,” Daemo said, reaching for Aegon’s hand across the table. “Some girls just need the attitude fucked out of them.” 

“I–do not!” Rhaenyra said defensively. 

“Really?” He asked, his brow arched. “In my experience, girl’s get so sweet after you’ve made them come a—hm, half dozen times? All fucked out and too full of cum to talk back.” She shifted in her seat, and he continued, “Have you ever come that many times in a day? In a night? In an hour?” He asked, and she shook her head. 

He gave her a pitying look, that was truly a shame

“It isn’t permanent, I’m afraid, the brattier the girl the more they need to be fucked. The easiest way to silence a brat is to satisfy her, and the second easiest way is…” He intentionally trailed off, hiding his smile when Rhaenyra budded in, “The second easiest way is what?” 

He sighed, “The second way to silence a brat is to spank them. Some little girl’s and boy’s just need to suffer before they are sorry for their behavior.”  Rhaenyra was looking down at the table, and he couldn’t tell if she was blushing but he thought she might be. So he kept talking,  “A combination of the two can be used, too, in extreme cases. But I’d always start with orgasms. Why try pain first, when you can tame with pleasure?” He said, pragmatically. 

“I’ve never…had that much pleasure.” She admitted. “I’m not surprised.” He said, “Pet’s shouldn’t be responsible for their own orgasms, they are too easily distracted to please themselves properly. You need someone with more experience.” 

“We don’t have a lot of that,” Aegon admitted, looking almost ashamed of this fact. 

They were temporarily interrupted by the waitress, who delivered their milkshakes. Daemon thought it was a little ironic that he ended up ordering a vanilla while…god, he wanted to call them the kids, got chocolate. 

After the waitress left Daemon asked, “Why did you enter the auction then?” finding himself curious. The thought had been plaguing him all week—the fact Rhaenyra had only been with her brother before, and then decided her second experience would be with a stranger? It didn’t seem to fit. 

Rhaenyra snorted, “We entered because Mysaria told us to.” She admitted. And… fuck, Daemon should’ve thought of that. He winced at his stupidity, looking down at the milkshake in front of him. “And let me guess, she told you who would have the winning bid?” He asked, knowing from the girl’s expression that he had assumed correctly. 

“She showed us your photos ahead of time.” Aegon admitted, looking slightly guilty. “And told us about you, and how long you had known each other.” 

Daemon hummed, “And what, exactly, did she tell you?” 

Rhaenyra sipped her milkshake, using the straw to stir what remained as she spoke. “She said she trusted you and that you were experienced enough to remain respectful.” She paused for a moment, before continuing, “ And she said you had a great cock and that we would basically be your walking wet dream.” 

Daemon coughed in surprise at how bluntly she spoke. Wow. He shouldn’t have expected less from Mysaria.  

He found himself feeling a bit…flattered by the fact she trusted him, rusty from years of normal relationships, to take on this pair. This inexperienced pair. He’d done some training before—like, a decade ago, as it was sort of an inevitable role for a versatile dom who was afraid of commitment to fall into. But that was, a decade ago. 

“You’ve never had a master before? A daddy? A dom?” He asked, listing the most obvious options. Rhaenyra’s nose wrinkled in disgust at the words, and Aegon didn’t look too pleased either.

“Nothing has really felt… right.” Rhaenyra said, shifting in her seat as if she was uncomfortable. Aegon continued where she left off, “I think that was part of your appeal—Mysaria said you had done it all and hadn’t quite found your place. And we might be inexperienced, but we’ve seen it all and found ourselves feeling the same way.” 

“What do you want, then?” Daemon asked. 

Rhaenyra blushed, looking back down at the table. “We kind of want a…husband?” She said, her tone questioning. Seeing his sister struggle seemed to give Aegon confidence, chiming in. “Someone to love us and take care of us. Someone to praise us for being good but also tell us when we are being bad.” 

“And sexually?” Daemon asked. 

Now it was Aegon who blushed, it was cute—one with their embarrassment over intimacy, the other over sex. 

“We’re still exploring that,” Rhaenyra said, “But we liked everything from last weekend a lot. In the confines of a relationship we’d be open to things that were off limits during the auction.” 

He nodded, only their ‘ enthusiastic yes’ kinks were allowed for that night. Of course they still had safe words, but the goal for scenes with strangers was to respect their limits, not push them to the point where they felt uncomfortable and had to use them. 

“There is a lot we’d like to try.” Aegon admitted. 

“What about you? What do you want?” Rhaenyra asked. 

Daemon paused, he hadn’t really thought about that. The immediate answer on his tongue was you. “I want to be what you want, I think.” He said, honestly. 

Rhaenyra narrowed her eyes, “And sexually? What do you want?” He laughed, “You’ve seen my list.” He said, before taking a sip of his own milkshake. Rhaenyra rolled her eyes, brat behavior on display as she said, “Yeah you’ve tried and liked basically everything that doesn’t involve scat, narrow it down for us.” 

Aegon chimed in, “I think…we’re worried we aren’t kinky enough.” He admitted. 

Daemon wanted to laugh at the idea they weren’t enough for him. Like he wasn’t fucking blessed to be in their presence with the potential opportunity to fuck them. But he didn’t think that response would be taken well, so he took a deep breath to organize his thoughts. 

“I’ve tried a lot because I’ve been doing this for longer than you’ve been alive.” He said, feeling a little disgusted by the truth of that statement. “And I’ve liked a lot of it because I’m a controlling asshole who likes sex.” He said, with a laugh even though it wasn’t really funny. 

“But I’ve also gone without it all for years, because even the most extreme elements of the lifestyle weren’t… enough. I don’t think I cared enough about the people I played with to garner true pleasure from their pleasure.” He paused, “Now I’m ready for that commitment, and I think as long as I’m meeting my partner's needs, that matters more than the needs themselves.” 

Aegon nodded, but Rhaenyra still seemed unsatisfied. “But, like, what do you like?” She asked, and he laughed earnestly, thinking about what elements of the lifestyle he had enjoyed most. 

“I like it when a submissive tries to please me, and I like pleasing them in return. Any type of sex is good. I like the… ” He considered how to phrase this, “A dom obviously doesn’t own a submissives’ body, but I like having constant access to them. The casual intimacy of being able to fondle, finger, and fuck them when I feel like it.” 

They both blushed at that, and he grinned. “Nothing better than coming home from work and finding something pretty waiting for you. Or, I suppose two pretty things.” He corrected. “I like watching movies with someone in my lap, my fingers in their cunt. Or their mouth wrapped around my cock, just a warm place for my length to sit after a long day.” 

He watched them shift, trying to hide their arousal in a way that only encouraged him, “Obviously, I’d need consent first—but it’s nice when you wake up in the middle of the night, to have something soft to rut against. Or even better, a wet hole to push it into.” 

“That sounds… good,” Aegon squeaked, and Rhaenyra nodded. 

“I think we are compatible, then.” He said with a grin. 

The conversation moved on, and Daemon continued to learn about them as the date, or whatever it was, progressed—including how they got into the lifestyle.

“When we moved here for school, there was this… freedom of not having to hide anything when we were at home. But then we started posting online, which is fun but obviously… evidence. So we didn’t post anything together. And I think we got sort of bitter? We wanted to explore our relationship where people could see it. We wanted people to comment on how we looked together, not  just our looks. ” 

“And then you found Dragonstone?” Daemon asked, the pair responding with matching nods. 

“Because of the non-disclosure agreements we felt safe there. We couldn’t afford the membership, but Mysaria was really interested in us. She offered to subsidize it if we did weekly shows.” 

“Is money an issue?” He asked. The pair hardly looked like they were struggling. With their clear skin and bright complexions, he wouldn’t have guessed they had to worry in that regard. Their clothing was, perhaps not designer, but far from tatty. Still, he knew looks could be deceiving, he wouldn’t presume to know their situation until he heard it from their lips. 

“No!” Aegon said, “We get an allowance from our parents. And money from what we post online. And when we’re twenty-five we’ll gain access to our trusts. The membership is just… a lot, it would look suspicious.” 

Rhaenyra snorted, “Yeah, not eager to explain that expenditure to our parents.” 

Daemon could understand that. “And your relationship with your parents is…?” 

He couldn’t imagine it being good. A healthy upbringing didn’t usually forge a bond between siblings that was so close they sought out a sexual relationship with each other. The fact that they looked at each other with hesitance before speaking on the topic said a lot, too. 

It was Rhaenyra who spoke, “Not…great? They had really high expectations, and we never seemed to meet them. They cared more about appearances than us. We were often punished but rarely praised. And even after being punished and apologizing they would be passive aggressive about what we did wrong. They didn’t really forgive us.” 

Aegon spoke then, “I think that’s the appeal you know? In the lifestyle after a punishment all is forgiven. You can right your wrongs and don’t have to bear the weight of resentment.” 

Daemon nodded, “Given the sake of not wanting to trigger anything—what type of punishments?” He asked, crossing his fingers under the table and hoping to god they didn’t say spanking. 

“Mostly being grounded. Losing phone or computer privileges.” 

Daemon’s brow rose, interesting. So their parents' way of punishing them was isolating them, taking away the possibility of having others' attention, which is what they craved most. Drawing out what they did ‘wrong’ and making them consider their actions without outside support. He didn’t have children, he shouldn’t judge, but he could certainly understand how it shaped the kinks of the pair before him.

“And how long have you two been together?” 

They both looked down at their drinks, which made Daemon laugh—”I won’t judge, I promise.” He swore. 

“We started like…kissing and stuff when he was thirteen.” Rhaenyra admitted. “I was fifteen and going on my first date and worried I wouldn’t be good at it. So we practiced…and it became a habit? And eventually we did more than that.” 

Aegon spoke up, “We dated other people in high school and fooled around, we weren’t like…together, or at least not exclusive. But when we moved here…” 

Rhaenyra shrugged, “We realized we were always going to want each other, and if we saw someone else…we’d want them to want both of us, too.” 

“Do you?” Rhaenyra asked plainly. “Do you want both of us?” 

Daemon didn’t even think before speaking, 

“Gods, more than anything.” 

The pair of matching grins that responded to his answer were infectious, and he swore their pretty purple eyes sparkled. 

“Good.” She said, “We want you too.” 

The relief that washed over him with those words. Gods, he wasn’t sure he’d ever felt anything that good. He wasn’t prone to anxiety, but these little submissive things got him twisted up inside. 

But relief was quickly replaced by desire when they turned to each other, then asked, “Do you want to get out of here?” 

…

#Rhaenyra Targaryen #Daemon Targaryen #daemyra #fic #a03 #romance #fluff #prompt #daemon x Rhaenyra #HOTD #house of the dragon #ficlet #fanfic #aegon x daemon x rhaenyra #aegon x daemon #aegon ii x rhaenyra #aegon x rhaenyra

[nirikeehan]

NIRI!!! I am curious about all of your WIPs actually but if I must narrow it down..... pls tell me about It's Always Sunny at Skyhold (is samson frank or dennis) AND OFC thalia & kallian: full moon 👀👀👀

Hi aster thank you!!

Ask me wip questions here!

I will answer these chronologically bc it makes more sense to do so:

Thalia & Kallian - Full moon

This is meant to be the introduction chapter to the Curse of Strahd crossover. Thalia visits Kallian at Vigil’s Keep, fangirls over the Grey Warden commander, talks a bit about Blackwall and his deal. Then Kallian reveals she received a mysterious letter from someone calling himself the Burgomaster of Barovia and calling out the tyranny of a vampire lord who rules over those lands. This sparks interest in both of them, they do a little investigating in the library at the keep. They find evidence an ancient land called Barovia, which no one in modern times has heard of, may exist in this one remote region of Nevarra. So of course they decide to convene a retinue and go check it out. 😎 what could go wrong?!?

I can’t remember where the full moon comes in. I think it’s just there for the atmosphere LOL. It was based on a dadwc prompt.

It’s Always Sunny at Skyhold

(Samson is definitely Frank LMAO)

So I plan to call the romp in Barovia It's Never Sunny in Barovia. So this bit I half-jokingly named "It's Always Sunny at Skyhold" because I was envisioning a sequel (yes, I love jumping the gun) where Thalia takes her new bestie she met in Barovia, Metrion, and employs him as a spy at Skyhold. This scene is poor Cullen trying to grasp why his girlfriend would do such a thing and what shenanigans she got up to in his absence.

It's like 90% more written than the previous scene, so here's a snippet:

Thalia leans forward, squinting at the report to rival her own. Even upside down, she recognizes the penmanship. “What did Pravin have to say about him that I didn’t?”  Cullen looks stricken. He rocks back on his heels, crossing arms over his breastplate the way he does when he doesn’t want to deliver bad news. “You were, um, significantly kinder in your assessment of his character than your cousin was.”  “Kinder how?” Metrion and Pravin have never gotten along — despite having, it seems to Thalia, extremely similar experience and skillsets. Pravin never saw it that way, however, in a manner Thalia finds quite classist.  “Your account uses words like ‘actor’ and ‘diplomatic’ to categorize him,” Cullen says carefully. “Pravin’s descriptions, on the other hand, are more colorful.” “In what way?” Thalia asks, already wincing.  “Er, let’s see. ‘Con man, swindler. Ne’er-do-well, wastrel, fraudster, mountebank… Trickster, charlatan, knave, drunkard—’” “Drunkard!” Thalia huffs. “That’s the pot meeting the kettle, coming from Pravin.” “He includes several anecdotes where the two of you— ‘Thalia and Metrion, if that is indeed his name,’ ah,” Cullen says, flipping the parchment, “robbed local establishments through deception and guile. ‘Gleefully’ is the word he used.” Cullen clears his throat and meets Thalia’s eyes, troubled. “Seeming to imply you enjoyed it?” 

#wip game #writing nonsense #curse of strahd au #it's never sunny in barovia

[colourful-void]

I have finished Virtue's Last Reward!

what was that.

-

alright thoughts, here we go!

Im glad the time paradox thing was addressed, to my understanding it's like. the two branches diverge no matter what, but instead of living through the Good Branch, we're here on the Bad Branch. it's not going to cease to exist if Phi and Sigma and kyle??? can change the past, we're just fucked.

I'm with Tenmyouji! Junpei is never wrong I agree with him always. That is not the Akane Kurashiki i once knew. She is long gone. (spike chunsoft please bring her back)

This ending is so much more of a downer than the last one. I'm a little bummed out actually. Like I know Akane's telling me its up to me to save the world and everything but like. It's a narrative video game fuck the world man I want my little guys to be happy. 999 was weird as shit and has like. a higher active body body count (3 characters in game die no matter what as opposed to vlr's 0, but 7 billion if u count. the earth.), but despite all that? the ending feels hopeful. and then really weird because alice being there was such a jarring shift but like ignoring alice?? very good.

Actually, Akane talking to Kyle felt more like she was talking to me, Void, more than any other interaction in this entire game. "You want to know what happens between Dec24 and new years eve? then you have to go back. you have to do it." It's like a threat. What the hell akane. I do want to know. you're going to make me play another game but ur fucking right i do wanna know.

I'm glad that Tenmyouji and Quark will stay together. I love you Quark. I love you tenmyouji.

Seriously Phi explains jackshit.

Game thoughts as a whole! Uhh a little mixed? mixed! there's more I like than I dislike, but my thoughts are kind of. muddled a bit

A lot of things were frustrating (mainly puzzles) but a lot of things were really exciting (mainly story).

some puzzles were really exciting and fun (the whole archives, the lounge, the final cube puzzle, the pec door puzzles, the rec room) and some were really annoying (darts, most of the pantry, anything with a lot of math and cross referencing really). ((some of this is because im bad at puzzles!!)

Most of the story was really fun (All of Quark and Tenmyouji really, Luna's backstory, Dio's backstory i still hate him but its good, K's initial backstory just from his ending, going through the different endings and combinbing knowlege from em,) Some of it was really annoying (Sigma being gross to the girls, the weird radical 6 based contradictions, a significant portion of the ending though i dont feel fair making a full judgement on it because half of it still makes no sense to me and im not sure how much of this is sequel bait, the general sudden downer shift of it all)

menuing and q-o-l wise: i did get used to the sprites and menuing, though part of that comes from a shift to displaying it on my tv (the display darkens and softens it out a bit so its nicer,) and getting a controller (item tabbing!!!) though i never really ended up using the ingame notes past the first room. instead i took paper ntoes and my journal is a mess for it. i do have a very important complaint to raise re game display:

THE FUCKING MAP SECTIONS TAKE WAY TOO LONG!!!! unless you're already fastforwarding, it's really slow and there's no way to skip it! I know where the lounge is by now this is my 7th run but no i've gotta watch the little dot move all the way from the b floor warehouse and it's just really annoying. why was there not an option to just skip it. goddamn.

In review: im not sure what to think about vlr yet? It's definitely left me much more conflicted than 999, and I probably like 999 more overall. The twists in vlr were really fun and unexpected (favourites are the inital betrayal from alice turning into an ally, seeing k's mask come off, tenmyouji's picture of akane, the first time more stuff was added to the flowchart like that, seeing the moon and everything.) and there were a lot more of them, but i think the ones in 999 hit me harder, while there were fewer. (Learning akane was who died, learning ace's identity, when the dialouge switches to first person).

But i;ll be fair, I was probably always going to be biased towards 999? it's aesthetics are more my taste and while this sounds weird it's... a lot more down to earth than vlr? Vlr is really high concept and i feel like if I spend some time with it or look at stuff AROUND it i'll grow into it. but it's a lot more than i usually. swallow at once. im a weak man okay my brain can't handle it.

Vlr's ending much like it's beginning is gonna be one of those things i thing where at first im like 'fuck this' and then over time im going to really love it. I'm already liking it a lot more than I did like. 15 hours ago.

Will I play Zero Time Dilemma?

Well im curious where the story goes, but I'm also wondering like. Yes? Play it? or is like a 'play the first two and pretend zero time dilemma never happened' situation. my only interaction with the fandom of zero escape is whatever you all send me, and a meme of akane my brother once found.

Here's the part where I was gonna say that video games are expensive and I'd see based on ppl's reccomendations and pricing and how much I'd need to save whether and when i'd get it but like. i forgot steam summer sale is on and it's like. 9 dollars right now so I'll probably get it anyway.

still curious though, other people's opinions, please weigh in! do you think I'm being too harsh to vlr? is there something I haven't considered? do you need to play ZTD to really give VLR a fair shot? what are your favourite parts of vlr? did i completely fail to read something important in the game and its fucking my perception. should i go back and play those two endings that fuck over quark i avoided?

let me know!!

#void nonary play #vlr #zero escape #virtues last reward #zero escape fans thank u again for not bullying me out of the tag for yelling about it so much #vlr spoilers #999 spoilers

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Recent DreamWorks "announcement" to "release date" movie timeline, a scorecard of sorts...

I'll start with SPIRIT UNTAMED.

SPIRIT UNTAMED: Announced October 2019, released June 2021. Over a year and a half before release.

THE BOSS BABY: FAMILY BUSINESS: Announced May 2017, two months after the release of the first movie. Released July 2021. Four years before release. The date was always some time in 2017, it was only mildly affected by COVID-19 and other minor adjustments to their schedule.

THE BAD GUYS: Announced March 2018. Released April 2022. Four years before release. Originally scheduled for a fall 2021 debut, until schedule adjustments and COVID-19. BAD GUYS once bumped out a movie on the schedule called SPOOKY JACK, which got cancelled completely.

PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH: Announced/mentioned in November 2012. Released December 2022. Ten years before release. However, the PUSS IN BOOTS sequel announced in 2012 - titled NINE LIVES & 40 THIEVES - would be put into limbo in early 2015. The project was rebooted with an all-new story after Comcast's acquisition of DreamWorks, and this development was announced in November 2018, the film itself being announced shortly thereafter.

RUBY GILLMAN, TEENAGE KRAKEN: Announced in March 2023. Released June 2023. Three **months** before release. The only places you heard of this movie's existence was through scooper sites two years prior. The film had been in some form of development since 2016.

KUNG FU PANDA 4: Announced in August 2022. Released March 2024. More than a year and a half before release. DreamWorks founder/former CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg had announced in 2010 that KUNG FU PANDA was aiming to be a six-film series, but those plans had seemingly changed since the release of the 2nd movie in 2011.

THE WILD ROBOT: Announced in September 2023. Releasing September 2024. About a year before release. One can assume the project began development after the release of director Chris Sanders' THE CALL OF THE WILD in early 2020.

DOG MAN: Announced in December 2020. Releasing January 2025. A little over four years before release.

THE BAD GUYS 2: Announced in March 2024. Releasing August 2025. Over a year and a half before release.

GABBY'S DOLLHOUSE: THE MOVIE: Announced in April 2024. Releasing September 2025. Over a year and a half before release.

SHREK 5: Announced July 2016. Rumored to be in production. It's worth noting that a fifth SHREK was talked about as far back as 2004, and then again in 2014.

MICE AND MYSTICS: Announced October 2018. Status unknown.

RONAN BOYLE: Announced September 2020. Status unknown.

THE BOSS BABY 3: Announced June 2021. Status unknown.

UNTITLED UNANIMOUS MEDIA FILM: Announced September 2021. Status unknown. Unanimous Media is a production company.

--

So what this says is that DreamWorks works rather irregularly these days, when it comes to announcing movies. Sometimes a project is announced, and doesn't make it. Par for the course with a lot of studios, right? But DreamWorks will announce a movie hitherto unheard of, not too far from release date... So when a date is locked on the slate, one can't assume it's for a project they already announced.

For example, I kept thinking RONAN BOYLE would be released some time over the past couple of years, but instead it's been projects that were announced way after it was.

Fun stuff.

[tenebrius-excellium]

I love your post about backend motivation vs frontend motivation in the HTTYD series!!! I’ve always had a bit of a problem with the sequels (especially the third movie) that I could never put into words, but the difference in motivation is EXACTLY it. The Hidden World in particular had a specific ending in mind, wich isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but their solution was to force the ending into existence instead of letting the story naturally build up to the ending. And you can feel the story straining soooooo much when Toothless acts like a dog for twenty minutes or Grimmel does something simple/obvious that the narrative treats as an ingenious act of strategy. It’s just not genuine! The characters simply wouldn’t act like that, but the writers let plot dictate characters instead of the other way around, and it’s just. so disappointing. There has to have been a way to keep the natural tensions and eventual triumphs of dragon/human bonds without resorting to flattening everyone’s character and taking the story in a weird, half-baked direction.

————————————————————————————-

Oh my gosh B. You’re still there??????? THANK YOU for being faithful to my blog even tho I’ve not really posted anything proper in ages!!! I’m so happy to hear from you!!!

I’m glad you liked my post XD Ok so. I remembered that what I tried to express is called “Watsonian vs. Doylish” interpretation in fandom (based on this post), or easier, it’s about giving in-universe explanations vs. ex-universe explanations for something that happens in the plot. The actual literary terms according to Gérard Genette for that would be “intra-diegetic” vs. “extra-diegetic”. 

The specific difference the terms “back-end vs. front-end motivation” makes, seems to be the phenomenon that building a story from the start allows it to better make sense inside the universe, whereas building a story from its ending reveals the circumstances that the author found themselves in when creating it.

Anyway so what I always found strange is that Httyd2 had all those same problems you named, yet no one talks about that and only bashes on the third movie! Wanna enlighten me on why the second movie worked for you???

Ok so this is spontaneously going to turn into the “Ooc Hiccup post” that I promised at the beginning of the year. I hope you’re ok with that. 

WHY IS HICCUP OOC IN HTTYD2?

because his new conflict (”becoming Chief”) was pulled out of thin air and wasn’t already an established extension of Berk’s situation. (a part I always loved about Httyd1 was that Hiccup wasn’t made out to be a Disney Princess who would have to face the duty of leading eventually. I expected the question of succession to be handled far more casually - that someone who wanted to be worthy could be Chief on Berk, not because Hiccup was expected to continue Stoick’s legacy. In fact I wish Stoick would have let him go rampant with the smithy and all his crazy inventions, making him Gobber’s successor first - since Gobber is also canonically older than Stoick - and lining Astrid up to be the next actual Chief. There could have been a sudden plot twist where Astrid realizes she doesn’t want to do it alone and that she needs Hiccup in this with her. It would have made them the ruling couple in a different way.)

because the movie made him immature on purpose so it could justify slapping the “necessary” growth arc on him. (Look, Hiccup has always been reckless and a little bit too trusting when presented with danger, but he was never ignorant of a certain reality or too stupid to see error in his ways. Httyd2 depicts him as a naive dragon geek who can’t see past the destructive potential this has on the humans around him. Eret has had a shit life and a dark past. Drago has his reasons for what he does. Yet Hiccup is far too quick to ignore the trauma that the tribes of the Archipelago suffered because of the dragon plague, and simply forgives his mother despite the fact that she chose to save dragons over raising her own son. It’s all in the name of dragon welfare now and that is just not Hiccup. Og Hiccup took time to engage with Astrid’s valid scepticism. Og Hiccup killed the Red Death to save his tribe. He did not attempt to train that one, if you get what I’m saying. The dragons were never pets.)

because Stoick died only so he wouldn’t get in the way of Hiccup’s leadership. (After all that happens, Hiccup - to me - hasn’t suddenly evolved into a wiser or more experienced person. He just righteously got his ass kicked for the stupidity that was forced onto his character. He then becomes Chief not because he has learned much from the situation, but because Stoick is now dead. It’s true that Hiccup says “Sorry, Dad” to the funeral pyre, but it is never specified what he’s sorry for. To me, he does understand that he got his father killed, but he doesn’t get a grasp on why. He hasn’t the faintest notion of what Stoick did for him, to what extent his father came after him. There was desperation in Stoick to save his son. And Hiccup never feels this guilt much. It is then very convenient that he can freely lead the people of Berk and appear as a competent Chief simply because there is no more Stoick to disagree with him. I loved the version in the books where Hiccup becomes king and Stoick as well as Valhallarama are both alive and well to see it!!!! And Stoick, Chief of the Hairy Hooligans, has to take a step back and let his son shine.)

Right. So that’s that. The second point is by far my greatest criticism regarding Httyd2. Hiccup, in my opinion, was always balanced between the needs of dragons and humans. He is not a “dragon geek”. It simply so happened that a dragon became his best friend because no one else wanted to be his friend at first. Movie!Hiccup is an “invention geek”!!! The time he spends building stuff in the smithy is so important to his character! He doesn’t fix stuff by talking. He fixes stuff by building tools first and explaining them to everyone else second. That’s how I’ve always understood him. Httyd3 Hiccup partly returned to that focus with his fireproof armor, the fully developed flightsuits and the docking contraption for ships that he made on New Berk. The Hiccup I know acts more, gains emotional insight by observation, and talks less.

Of course I agree with all of your criticism of Httyd3. Yes the movie felt strained. But I admit that because I enjoyed Hiccup’s hesitant yet determined character again, I can overlook its flaws much easier than the flaws of Httyd2.

Let me know what you think!

#httyd #httyd2 #httyd3 #httyd franchise #analysis #httyd analysis #httyd2 analysis #httyd3 analysis #wherethekiteflies #wherethekitethought #b #ask #asks #anon #anonymous

[n7punk]

okay it took me awhile because Journey Into Lost Memories is a cut scene simulator for a good chunk of the game, but i've finished the entire Another Code: Recollection remake and i have some final thoughts (balls to the wall spoilers, do not click if you haven't played the game)

not gonna talk much about the first game since i already wrote a fucking essay on it, but i will say having taken the collection as a whole now, i firmly prefer the original. the remake isn't a bad game, just not quite the game the original was.

for Trace Memory/Two Memories anyway. the sequel... i have more problems with

first of all i never played the original sequel because it didn't exist in america, and im too fatigued to watch a playthrough now but i do fully intend to. That said, i could still see changes just with the context of what changes they made in the first one.

there is like. one puzzle per chapter for the first chunk of the game. like max. chapter one has getting... aw fuck i just played it and i forgot his name, but the guesthouse staffer's attention. and then there's the "puzzle" to unlock the door (given what the RAS looks like, i assume this use to be motion control bullshit, so i'll take the series of button prompts instead, it's just kind of a ridiculous way to hack lmao) and proving your innocence (wow a whole two puzzles). and then... i think the next puzzle is rescuing matthew? which is being a bit generous.

the boathouse was the first time it felt like i was playing the same game as the original series, and there's like... chapter 2 or 3? the boathouse was good, but then it's not good (puzzle wise) for... several chapters. like im trying to list puzzles off and i know im missing some but off the top of my head: music box, finding the keys, the clock tower, the resort headquarters, then the whole thing in JC valley where it's a Trace Memory game again. all that is in pretty quick secession but the first couple chapters drag and are mostly watching cutscenes doing a lot of set-up that doesn't give you enough clues for you to feel like you're trying to solve something, and thus mentally engaged. i actually started cutting off dialogue, hitting A without listening to the VA the second I had skimmed through the dialogue, because there was just way too much cutscene. this is not a puzzle game for like five chapters, it's Life Is Strange or something.

i don't need to play the original to know they cut a ton of puzzles from this second game. i really felt like i was going insane without the lack of balance in the second game. and the thing is, once the story happens, it's interesting! but goddamn is there 2, maybe 3 chapters of story in a 7 chapter game.

for the story... the part with matthew's dad was interesting to me, but like i said, gathering (very little) information on that takes up the first half of the game and then it all happens at once. also why did they change the ghost rules for this game. why does kelly look like that. they should have standardized that in this remake. kelly plays by completely different rules than d and im not a fan.

the zipper on her doll being a red herring was pretty funny tho lmao. i was literally in the middle of telling my mom it was driving me crazy that ashley hadn't thought to try it yet when i got the chance to inspect it and found the actual secret.

the pollution plotline also felt nonsensical at points, and it does mostly get justified later (why the fuck did her dad just happen to make an app for the DAS - something with like 4 apps - for measuring water quality? ok later it gets tied into liquid memory, but it had me laughing out loud for how convenient it was at the time) and tbh the plotline with the lab did too at times, but the ryan plotline was good. im still not clear on what memories were taken from sayoka? like they made it sound like they wiped her memory at some points, but that straight up can't be possible so i just dont know. like the reason behind it made since and every but idk... there were a lot of little things here that were messy and i would have expected them to fix and unify across games in a remake, especially considering how much they changed. i can't tell when the hell sayoko went to lake juliet. was it like, a day before she died? a month? year? can't have been more than a year, but again, wiping her memory doesn't make a lot of sense.

also like. sorry. but ryan is supposed to kind of be 6 years old (he has been strong since the pollution) so did he just... god how the hell did he get involved in the bill and gina thing. bill had been using richard for 7 years already, ever since he killed sayoko, but when did gina get involved, and then when did ryan? he had to be involved for at least two years since bill sent the source code to jc but... god i have a migraine and i CANNOT make sense of this. i think bill thought he was the mastermind, he got in touch with gina through his "buyer" (no idea if she already worked there, or got a job "undercover" for more info on the prototype, or was placed undercover after blood edward island fell apart. i dont think a timeline for her and rex's relationship was given that would have helped place this, just his divorce which was a few years ago and could have happened before she arrived or after - maybe even because of - her arrival).

god im rambling so much. basically i think the ryan stuff was good (i out loud went "OH HE'S TRYING TO MAKE A NEW SAYOKO" when i figured it out and that was a good feeling), but things with the lab/another project history got very twisty and the early game (camping, matthew's plotline, and the band/music plotline that... didn't really go anywhere aside from making gina suspicious, which is fine, but trim down all the long ass cutscenes then) had way too little gameplay and especially PUZZLES that just made it drag on.

ive seen a few mentions of changes now im daring to look at the tag and it is making me excited to watch a playthrough to see the original version of the game too, but my current assessment is that the sequel probably suffered heavily from the cuts/changes. maybe it always had these problems, but i doubt it. i also might replay the original trace memory until i hit a brick wall. i doubt citra has support for it lmao.

oh also im never going to get over them just calling it "the Big Deal Band Contest" thats a fucking placeholder title i put in and then can't come up with anything better but they did it for a video game (post-remake!) and not a goofy fanfic

#mylife #again for the none people who follow me who care about this tiny fandom #ashley is still my child tho forever and always i love her

[meltingpenguins]

One of the things that makes me extremely distrustful of the show omens storyline (which has already completely betrayed me) is that it's been said many times that season 2 is a "bridge" to season 3 aka. the things that were talked about to be a sequel long ago, but almost nothing in season 2 makes sense for an idea based off the book. I know this has been said many times by you and others in the critical tag, but I cannot understand the choices made. And it's worse because Neil has been on tumblr, answering questions since season 1 came out. We know some of his thoughts on things, we know some of his ideas. For example, we know he never thought of Gabriel and Beelzebub as a couple and thought it odd that people shipped them, but wouldn't tell people what to do. And then suddenly season 2 comes about and they're a hastily thrown together couple. Very strange. I don't know who is making these decisions, if it's in Neil's hands or not, but whatever is happening in the show, it's very based off of fan interactions on tumblr and fanservice and it doesn't make a good plot or good characters. It beats the characters into the ground until they're nothing and no one can remember what they were supposed to be like, how they were supposed to act, or what they were supposed to represent in the first place. It's as if someone read the book once twenty years ago, spent their time reading fanfiction, and came back to write a sequel without revisiting the source material.

I would have much preferred a plot focusing on an actual mystery, on Gabriel's circumstance and the finding out about and fixing of that circumstance, rather than at least half of the runtime amounting to Aziraphale/Crowley fanservice and "fun" plots that someone thought would be nice to throw in without any impact on the actual story. Maybe then the ending to season 2 would have been at least somewhat comprehensive to me, both for the Aziraphale/Crowley and the Gabriel/Beelzebub plots. As it is, the second season felt like a bunch of ideas were thrown up on a whiteboard and added into the script without thinking any of it over or trying to construct a story. Instead of a good show with a few bad moments, it was a bad show with a few good moments. Basically, I'm disappointed and lacking any faith that season 3 will be at all good.

Thank you for the ask. :)

Now, said it before, saying it again: S2 reeks of a weird mix of 'milking the cashcow' (via fanservice that runs a steamroller over the character's personality and arcs and continuity) and a 'make the conservative christians happy' which is even worse.

The latter is already an issue in s1, what with just how everything is very allocisheteronormative. All the pairs have a distinct 'nuclear family' vibe to it (except the dowlings, where it feels Mrs dowling, being a bit bolder and not submissive to her husband is painted as if warlock being a POS is thus her fault), including Crowley and Aziraphale. In the book these two are equals and on eye-height (as it honestly should be in a good relationship), but on the show? What purpose does it fulfil to make aziraphale so dimwitted as he is? Make him out to be nothing but crowley's cheerleader? Why make crowley this obnoxious incarnation of the bad box chosen one?

It doesn't do anything for the plot, I'd even say it hinders it, because this crowley doesn't care for earth. This crowley only seems out to stop armageddon because if not he'd have nothing anymore to stand in the spotlight (should Hell win). He'd be one amongst many, with no one to do the work for him.

Show!Crowley is the kind of person Book!Crowley hates with a passion, judging by the book.

Now back to s2:

I am 98% convinced s2 only exists to have the 6-6-8 pattern, and nothing else.

Now, to be fair, there have been time constraints, general crunch, only 2 writers, cut budget, etc, basically everything the WGA striked against.

It's nevertheless baffling. It might be the lack of experience Neil still has with screenwriting, mixed with bad input from others, maybe, but this isn't a bridge. And if, it's this bridge:

(did I make this joke before? yes, it's a good joke)

It doesn't connect anything from any incarnation to what we know about the sequel (Neighbour of the Beast).

It could ave been amazing. Imagine, for example this:

Heaven and Hell, both on their own, send someone to spy on crowley and az to figure out how they got their immunity to holy water/hellfire. crowley and az catch on, and that in the course of this someone might find a way to just test it (which would def kill them) so they have to swap bodies and live each other's lives till the coast is clear. Thus learning more about the other, growing a deeper understanding (which really wasn't there in s1). Meanwhile, Heaven and Hell also realize they are trying the same thing, and we get more interactions between gabe and Beelzebub, maybe, just maybe laying a foundation for -something- (prolly also involving Dagon, because what we're not going to do is ignore that potential ship that had much more foundation in s1 than anything else (beelzebub and dagon that is, not the polycule))

On the side we -could- have maggie and nina, though actually back as ex-sister mary and ex-sister theresa (back from the dead by adam's fixing). It could have been that sister therese, knowing she's been dead decided to fulfil her lifelong dream of owning a recordstore or something, and by chance opening one just next to/across from aziraphale. Cue sister mary visiting on the regular (maybe being co-owner) and both of them slowly catching on to crowley being around, and hadn't there been rumors from below that he's been fraternizing with an angel long since before the antichrist thing? Then (after the bodyswap) Not-Crowley wanders into the store (thinking/knowing crowley would do that) only to run into the two humans in London who know exactly who and what crowley is. Mary and Tess catch on to what's going on, and offer to help, when not-crowley notices an air of love around the two women, and figures there's something but both of them are not willing to say it out loud. So not-crowley (far less clumsily than in s2) tries to pay them back for their help by helping them come to terms with their feelings. Not-aziraphale, meanwhile, has to deal with whoever heaven and hell send (Muriel was a good idea, I give the show that :3 ) and, worse, potential customers and generally running a bookshop, thus gaining a lot of insight into actual-aziraphale's (private-) life, leading to more respect for the angel, and general growth, because actual-crowley realizes how much the angel neglects actually living on earth for nothing but crowley's sake.

It all could end with a dramatic climax where both want to confess their feelings, but are interrupted by heaven and hell trying to kill them, managing only last second to swap bodies back, so the attack hits the one who's immune to it, before the metatron steps in, stops everyone and announces the second coming.

This COULD have easily been done with what they (cast and crew) had to our knowledge, and the Buddy Holly song would have genuinely been a countdown to something.

But as things are now there's not really any hope for s3 cause it just has no solid foundation for an actual story.

It's sobering. And as said in another post, if Neil would make it clear that all incarnations are legit, that would help take the sting out of it

:/

#good omens #good omens critical

[less-than-three-3]

Tears of the Kingdom - a masterpiece sandbox, but a flawed sequel

It really does pain me to say that I thought TotK was just ok, because I did really love BotW. It had its clear pain points but for essentially a first of its type of open world game, it was incredible. But what mattered was that the design choices felt very deliberate, mechanics like durability and shrines were super key and important to the gameplay loop of exploring.

On the other hand, TotK, while it has very clear and high strengths with a very different design direction, has design choices across the board that genuinely baffled me, and I honestly question why this game was even a sequel besides being able to reuse everything. It very easily could have been its own game as it is, a different timeline with inexplicably identical characters and geography, because there is very little of BotW’s identity or even continuity really even present. 

And before you get your pitchforks, I do want you to hear me out - I promise I won’t complain about like durability or the map feeling empty or compare it to non-Zelda games, I’m gonna be discussing things that I don’t really see many people talking about? There will be spoilers! More below:

I want to start off by talking about my experience with BotW, but if you wanna skip this and just see my thoughts on TotK I get it, it’s just context that I think is relevant. I actually didn’t play BotW until about 2 years ago, despite being a huge Zelda fan I bought into that “bad zelda game” discourse so I thought I wouldn’t like it, so when I did play it I was absolutely blown away. I can still kinda get the complaints - some of the elements people love Zelda for were fairly weak, but as a redefinition of the series it was masterfully done. It was a game that not just rewarded and kept the cycle of exploration going through clever map design and durability, but did so by allowing essentially complete freedom of pathing and direction. 

I will always tell the story of how my entire first playthrough I did not know Hestu existed - I climbed the twin peaks and the mountains nearby to get to Kakariko and just totally missed him the whole time. Not that he was placed in a bad location, in fact I’d be surprised if more than a relative handful of people missed him lol, I was just on a completely different wavelength, and that freedom is incredible. But there were limitations - stamina is a necessary evil when you have free climbing and gliding (but not for running - #bringbackwhistlerunning), and it forces you to really actually scope out your terrain to manage your stamina. And, begrudgingly, I will “hand it” to rain for trying to get you to not just climb like a gremlin everywhere (this did not stop me just waiting out the rain, every time. I hate rain.). It’s a beautiful balance of self-motivated free exploration, and the soft limitations you have for that exploration. Without stamina altogether, the climbing and pathing, for example, becomes a lot less interesting when you can just entirely bypass like every cliff. BotW is a brilliant game of exploration, but you already knew that.

TotK, on the other hand, is not a game about exploring. Its design overall has such a strange identity to me. It reuses the main map of Hyrule, that’s totally understandable I’d be surprised if they didn’t, but is there really much to explore again? Granted, yes if you played this before BotW then there is, but from the lens of sequel let’s assume you’ve played BotW. For me, personally, I checked out the major towns from the last game, and it was really nice to see how they’ve evolved, but besides that, like... I guess there are many little shiny shrines placed everywhere again, but, like, I’ve already done that (For me, 2 and a half times over). The carrot on a stick wasn’t really enough for me to care all that much either, because after a certain number of shrines I just kinda felt like I had enough orbs. The motivating factor of exploration should not be the carrot on a stick reward at the end of the shrine, anyways.

And that’s not to mention the opening of the game, which is just so... clunky compared to that of BotW. BotW’s tutorial is genuinely probably the best out there, it essentially lets you loose to do what you want, how you want, and when you’re done learning the basic mechanics of the game, sets you loose again to continue to do what you want, how you want. TotK’s is so oddly rigid. The sky islands honestly weren’t the worst thing, they had fun things to do, but I did feel like it really dragged on compared to the Great Plateau which was about as slim as it could get. But when you get off of the sky islands, you’d think you’d be free to do what you want right? ....no. And that’s so fucking odd to me. They expect you to follow the quest markers for like, a few steps of the quest before you even get the paraglider and towers, and one of those steps leads you into Hyrule Castle which, for a lot of people, would raise alarm bells for “uh oh I shouldn’t do this yet”. If you went to do your own thing by seeing shiny things in the distance, you could possibly just not have the glider or the ability to reveal your map for a really long time. That’s weird, right? That can’t just be me.

Ok but fine, we knew Hyrule would be Hyrule, and the opening is just a few hours, so what’s the big deal, there’s so much more to explore! Well, the issue is that the sky islands are such a fucking bitch to get to (and basically require you to have a nearby jump tower unlocked, or a lot of patience with zonai gear), and getting between islands of different regions is pretty much not possible. And they’re SO sparse. It doesn’t feel like a region to explore, it feels like a few islands you can check out after unlocking a tower and not much else. 

The Depths tho!! They’re basically another Hyrule!!! Yeah, it is like Hyrule, but like, a lot lot worse. Like I said in the context, one of BotW’s greatest strengths in exploration were the landmarks and map design. So, why the hell did they decide to make an entire Hyrule where you have almost no such visual feedback to encourage exploration? You basically just have to choose a direction and commit (or follow a REALLY LONG series of statues), or maybe you see a Lightroot in the distance (this isn’t common). Maybe someone finds this fun but I certainly don’t, and I really honestly expected better from the developers of Breath of the Wild. You do have the actually really neat revelation that Lightroots are in the same place as shrines, and that the mining sites are where towns are. But I think that even further takes away from the essence of exploration? It’s so odd that the Depths are the way that they are, it truly has me questioning whether BotW’s design was truly intentional or if it was just lightning in a bottle that they couldn’t recapture. But maybe that’s just me.

So yeah the game has a lot of content and a lot of area, but I never really felt like.. that rewarded or satisfied by it. I actively just stopped exploring at a certain point, across all the layers of the world (ok I think I did get all the sky islands but that is NOT a hard feat to achieve lol). I wish there were a term gamers use that could describe this phenomenon of having a ton of stuff to do that starts to feel pointless to do... Oh yeah, it’s bloat. 

But let’s put a pin in that one, I don’t want to be so negative about the game because I did still like it. For one, the music is absolutely turned up to 11 compared to BotW, in part because it is a game with much more gravitas and more moments and areas that deserve that music. And BotW already had a fan favorite soundtrack, so you know this shit good.

The powers were a mixed bag, but I want to shoutout the absolute coolest power first, the one that I am the most mindblown by, that breaks the game without feeling blatantly unfair, and the one I am genuinely impressed is so well implemented:

Recall. This is the power that actually makes you feel like 1000 IQ, and I am pretty sure the people who came up with it and implemented it are too. It has so many broken uses in puzzle solving but, even when it’s clearly unintentional, it feels like a loophole, it feels like you outsmarted the devs. An entire fucking game could be made around this single power. And this game has 4. ...sort of.

If you thought I was gonna mention Ultra Hand, I’m sorry but you’re wrong, and that’s a larger discussion I will have later. Because let’s talk about the weird ones first. 

Like ascend. What the fuck is this power like it’s so incredibly niche and not in a funny way either, like cryonis. It’s not used to get between the Depths and the overworld and the sky, it has such a tight distance limit. And when you’re using it to scale vertical heights (or go through Taluses) it’s so finicky. Its most consistent uses are when the devs clearly designed “an ascend path” or for getting out of the overworld caves, and those are just like, really boring. The fact that most of twitter consistently forgets ascend is a thing is not good. You don’t want a power you entirely forget about. This is what I got in exchange for guardian launching?

Fuse is also a little weird to me, it’s fun but I feel like the novelty wears off a little quickly. On arrows it’s absolutely genius and a very wonderful replacement and addition to the elemental arrows, but for weapons? I know many people see this as addressing durability and collector’s anxiety from BotW but like, it doesn’t do either of those! They nerfed durability across the board for every weapon you get from the overworld except for sturdy wood sticks (which feel lame), and otherwise you have to either get zonai weapons (ok these are fairly abundant) or go underground and look for those statues holding unrotted weapons? This was supposed to address issues? All they did was push the issue of hoarding from your weapons inventory to your items inventory, which is a step forward for sure, but that’s not a solution, that’s them trying to trick us into thinking it’s addressed. You’d previously save your strong weapons just in case you need them later, but now you save your strong monster parts and gems in case you need them later. It’s the same damn thing, you just have actual bag space for it now so it's a little better! I’m a durability defender and I’m still confused by this.

Ok but the star of the show for most people is Ultra Hand, and I totally get it. Building the penis robot, or a mecha, or fucking drones is really cool and really funny. Breaking the limits of the game by attaching together a bunch of different things to solve puzzles in ways that they really shouldn’t have is cool (but Recall does it better). If you love sandboxes to just fuck around in and make a bunch of really cool or broken contraptions and doohickeys, you will love this. I just like.. don’t. Building a tank sounds cool but when I got at the helm I just kinda felt nothing from it, it wasn’t really that fun because the only input you can really give is the direction. I don’t feel like I’m playing the game. And I feel like it really disrupts those necessary limitations I was talking about at the beginning - I don’t find it satisfying to just entirely bypass a climbing challenge by just making a hot air balloon or rocket, and I don’t find it satisfying to just mow down enemies by holding forward as opposed to actually engaging with them. The battery is a limiter but is it even really that much of a limiter when the recovery items are so common (and in the case of rockets and hot air balloons entirely irrelevant)? This is on top of the vehicles despawning when you enter shrines so exploring with them feels AWFUL (easily the MOST baffling mechanic in the game). I dunno, they did really shoot for the moon and I think if you like this I’m very happy for you, but I do also think they really lost sight of what made BotW so revolutionary.

“But you control the buttons your press, if you don’t like it don’t use it!” I agree, and I didn’t really! I’m very happy with being able to use towers as jump towers which, with the wing suit, let you pretty much cover the entire region. But like, you still need to use Ultra Hand for shrines and temples. It’s fairly good in the temples, but I want to talk about the shrines, because some of them are great and maybe better than the best in BotW, but that makes the stinkers really stand out. There are a handful of mid-game shrines (as opposed to like, shrines right around Lookout) which were just “drive the vehicle we gave you” or “build a basic vehicle with the 3 obvious parts we laid out for you” like... that’s not a puzzle. (There was one shrine with a sick track layout and I’ll give that one a pass). I didn’t do all shrines, like I said I got tired of exploration, so I can’t speak to all of them, but this mixed bag didn’t help that either. At least there aren’t really combat trials outside the beginning.

While we’re on the topic, let’s talk about those temples, because one of the biggest talking points right before launch were the “big varied dungeons” that they added to the game, compared to the Divine Beasts in BotW which, while fine, were very samey and ultimately just 4 shrines squished together. So, what about the Temples? Well uh... let’s rank them, best to worst.

1. Fire Temple. Yunobo’s power may suck the most out of the 4 sages but I’d be lying if this temple and the road leading up to it didn’t slap. Using the minecarts the traverse around with changing tracks and figuring out how to guide the very finicky Yunobo Launcher into the rocks blocking your path was fun! Not my favorite temple ever, but it was a very good translation of the format. The boss also felt super traditional Zelda in the best way possible.

2. Lightning Temple. Besides the Fire Temple all the temples kind of take a “go in any direction and do these separate shrine puzzles united by a unique gimmick” and it’s pretty much just a reskinned Divine Beast, I don’t know who they were tricking. The Lightning Temple had the most interesting gimmick at least, essentially being light puzzles that were pretty satisfying, plus a killer boss fight.

3. Wind Temple. This was the first one I did and I was a little disappointed that it was just a divine beast, but the layout was in hindsight relatively interesting, and the whole path up to the temple with the sailboats was actually really really fun (and entirely irrelevant for the temple). People are loving the boss but it’s like ok? I think it’s just because people are just so used to the blights that a huge worm with Giant Enemy Weakpoint is cool by comparison. 

4. Water Temple. Water bubbles are sorta cool and the boss is a little shit. Sidon’s power and the goop was really annoying to use. The temple design does not even try to pretend it’s a temple, it is just 4 different islands with 4 different puzzles.

5. Spirit Temple. this shit sucked I’m sorry, getting the parts back to the center was ok and had some clever puzzles but otherwise it was kind of a slog to get them all, and the reward is a mech that was so slow and a little clunky and I just ultimately walked my ass to the boss. Maybe it’s because I just don’t really like the contraptions. I dunno, this was really meh. Boss was incredibly easy because he just gets instantly staggered by the cannon he drops lol.

And speaking of presenting us the same things as BotW with a fresh coat of paint, the dragon’s tears were also kind of dubiously implemented. They are definitely a clear improvement over memories in a lot of ways, but that really isn’t that high of a bar to clear. But because of the much stronger linear narrative structure of everything, you’re pretty much missing out on a lot by not doing these in the order that you find with Impa and that’s... really limiting? It only reinforces my assessment that this is not a game about exploration because when I see a giant fucking geoglyph I wanna check it out, I don’t want to look at my pictures to check if it’s “the next one I need”. Plus this order kind of encourages you to railroad your exploration of the regions in a specific order. It’s weird. But at least the story is really good.

And speaking of the story, yeah it was great, and it was genuinely tragic to experience those last few memories and have the very sudden realization of where Zelda is. But can I just ask, what happened to like anything from BotW? Where are the Divine Beasts, can they help? Was Zelda a dragon the whole fucking time, and we just somehow never saw her once in BotW? Why does no one outside Lookout, Teba, the Rito remember us? The only things that even remotely reference the very cataclysmic events of the last game are essentially throwaway filler dialogue from side npc’s and that’s weird right? 

Why is this game a sequel? 

I think if this was a Majora’s Mask situation where they were blatantly going in a very different direction in a different timeline and completely restructuring everything, but just reusing maps and models, I would get it. But it’s not, it’s the Sequel to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. But it doesn’t feel like that upon even just a little bit of scrutiny. If they full sent the sandbox and new world and lore and origins of Hyrule as a whole new timeline and separate game, maybe they wouldn’t have felt obligated to keep so many of the incredible elements of BotW that ultimately either get trampled on or feel a little half-assed, and maybe it’d be even more fun for those who enjoy that type of game. Though to be clear, it’s not a case of mixed identity, I do feel all these elements can coexist, but I think it’s a case of them losing sight of or missing what really made BotW tick.

And again, not to say this is a bad game. I fairly enjoyed it, but to me it doesn’t meet the standards and expectations set by BotW, especially not as a sequel. But that may just be me, who does not care that much about sandbox elements. If you love them, and love the game, that’s great! My issues shouldn’t get in the way of your enjoyment, but I just have to say man, I wish I liked this game more.

#tears of the kingdom #totk spoilers

[goayda]

On Writing and Hope: a confession

There is this quote by Terry Pratchett...

"Let there be goblin hordes, let there be terrible environmental threats, let there be giant mutated slugs if you really must, but let there also be hope."

I read it recently and it got me thinking...

A few years ago I wrote a very angsty fic and I worked hard on the ending twist where I made half of the beloved characters die tragically and the others survive while drowning in guilt and sadness. And the twist worked! The feedback was excellent, the comments were very positive, everybody said the twist was fantastic, that it was heartbreaking, that they cried at that ending and I felt proud of it and then... I felt... bad.

So I wrote a fix-it for my own fic. And it only took me a day because my brain had already started working on it the moment I had finished writing the last sentence. There had been a constant feeling of fix it, fix it, save them, it doesn't have to end like this! so I wrote a fix-it sequel (time travel shenanigans, probably the laziest thing I have ever written) and I have never written anything like that again (character death, unhappy ending, you know the tags).

So that's my confession, all my angsty fics have a happy ending, I can't write angst any other way. I don't want to. I'm soft like that.

Sometimes I think it might be boring for my hypotetical readers, but I mostly write for myself, to see if I can put one word after another and create a story that didn't exist until I started typing on my keyboard. Some of my fics have been read by a glorious total of four people and one of them is my beta reader and two others are friends of mine, and I'm ok with that.

But when I read that quote I thought that Terry Pratchett would have probably approved of my soft, happy-ending stories and that made me smile.

#writing #fanfic #angst with a happy ending #a realization #and a confession #gnu terry pratchett #terry pratchett was a kind and wonderful soul #I'm still sad he left us so soon

[arewordsenough]

R S U V W

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

I uh... non-answered this already. heh 😅

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

I like stuff that has a sort supernatural influence of pack bonds and not just social/political ones. Does that count?

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

I haven't been reading much lately and have a bad time remembering specific authors. My object permenance for people is... non-existant. I often forget that I have family and a half-sister because I don't actually interact with them at all really. Authors that I do remember off hand are @eneiryu and their ability to casually make a living breathing world in their fics. @manonisamelon for previously mentioned heart destruction. @li0nh34rt for being one of the first people to prop me up in fandom and make it a positive experience. I'm open to suggestions on fics people think I should give a shot though.

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Does the Teen Wolf movie count? That's basically just Jeff's fanfic, right? I'm not sure this is something I've ever thought about or had an urge to do. Maybe in the future or if the author asked me?

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

Also answered just before this 😉

#answered asks