#he’s a much better person than I am

[riclec]

form is temporary, class is permanent

#daniel ricciardo #f1 #dutch gp 2022 #daniel is a saint #he’s a much better person than I am #ecpost #500

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Average Drama Enjoyer observes some peak drama.

#dungeon meshi #toshiro nakamoto #laios touden #kabru #izutsumi #Before anyone mistakes this as mischaracterization: The joke here is that it's ambiguous what the hell he means. #Kabru does love getting into fights a bit more than average but he's mostly here for the drama. #I screenshot the scene of him going 'The dark arts!' with a little smile everytime I re-read dungeon meshi. He's so catty. I love him. #And shout out to Izutsumi for adding fire to the drama. Girl said 'I am the listener. I heard that shit.' and refused to apologize. #Joke two: the deep cut - Welcome to more propaganda for whatever the hell is going on between Laios & Shuro & Kabru. #Laios trusting Shuro with some *heavy* information because he admires him so much! And wants to be his friend so badly! #Kabru also has another great character moment when he immediatly clocks Laios as not being as malicious as expected. #We love a character who can put the clues together! It is such a good subversion of what role we think Kabru is to play in this story! #Now he's eager to befriend Laios - who is barely interested and currently trying to befriend Shuro - who is barely interested and...well. #The painful triangle of people trying to get to know the other person better and being rejected...Friendship triangle. #We have all had a friendship triangle situation before. Right? You guys have also struggled to read people. Right? #Laios is universally relatable. Right?

[introspectivememories]

okay so i know that dash baxter barely gets any character development in the show but like the idea that danny hates dash? boo, lame, overdone!!!! danny who can beat dash up and dash knows this and everyone knows this but by god danny needs something normal to cling on to so dash shoves him in a locker everyday?? yeah that's the good shit

#like danny more than anything wants to be normal except he is schrodinger;s person so he'll never be normal #but dash still shoves him in the locker everyday and dash still gives him swirlies and dash still calls him 'fen-twerp' #so he's still a normal teen... right? #dash doesn't bully danny for a day and he watches the way danny get progressively worse throughout the day #dash bewildered: is he like- going through bully withdrawls??? #tucker exhausted after 2nd period: dude can you just like shove him into a locker or smth? #dash: i'm trying to be better!! kwan says that i am being too much these days #sam also exhausted: be better after danny graduates #also the idea of like dash bullying danny is their way of saying 'hello' is sooo funny to me #danny as he's getting shoved into a locker: so how's your mom? #dash: better now but like that cough isn' going away yknow? #danny contorting himself to fit in the locker better: you should take her to dr. esperanza later. i heard the flu's going around #dash closing the door: alr thanks for the tip. stay in there for at least 5 minutes #danny preparing to nap: whatever #dp #danny phantom #danny fenton #dash baxter #swagger bishie #teddy ghost #dandash #ig i'll tag those bc i am a pretty big swagger bishie shipper but you could totally read this as platonic

[vyeoh]

I'm rewatching all the Marvel Defenders shows on Netflix and as much as I mock the MCU now, I need non-Marvel fans to understand that I was and still am a fan of "Daredevil fighting the gentrifying assshole who bought out the police force because ACAB both as a lawyer and vigilante of the community" and "Jessica Jones fighting the man who mind controlled her into doing unspeakable things and forming a community of fellow survivors and allies while dealing with PTSD in a range of both healthy and unhealthy ways" Marvel. God I love these idiots they carried so hard

#vio.txt #mcu #marvel #jessica jones #daredevil #also the two of them induced so much bi panic in me. also gender envy. jessica jones is one of the few women i get gender envy fron #the iron fist and luke cage shows were...more mid but still leagues above current marvel shows #like. yes be anti-mcu but these were masterpieces #and yes this is why i was so pissed about them putting daredevil in she hulk and trying to make him iron man 2.0 #like! yes hes suave and charming but thats bc its his lawyer job!! he works in a law firm he and his friends started to serve his community #he is NOT 'i am rich and better than u' charming. he is 'i learned how to talk fancy for my degree and i have empathy' charming #and not bringing the other guys over either???? bruhhh #marvel really cancelled the best things they did on the screen #matt murdock my original red and black round glasses wearing sadboy what did they do to you #also!! can i mention that these shows had such better representation than nowadays marvel #murdock's actor doing extensive research on blind motility for the role #jessica and trish's friendship and how trish immediately believes jess about kilgrave #the whole!!! unique community feel of harlem and in luke's bar #hogarth whos both jessica's employer and foggy's boss in later seasons being a lesbian and having Real Marriage Issues #and also being a conplex and kinda shitty person #iron fist was....eh but that's why it was the worst one lmao #OH YEAH HOW COULD I FORGET MY GIRL KAREN #karen page getting a whole storyline in s1 about her dealing w ptsd and then getting fleshed out backstory and her own adventures #like ok it was kinda weird in daredevil that she dated like every guy bc she was the female lead 💀 #but even then foggy and matt and her figuring their shit out like adults. like they shot their shots and it didnt pan out. still besties th #disney would never allow such good writing in current times #but a boy can wish

[mudstoneabyss]

actually. the specific phrasing that boy Kevin wants to kill older Kevin with "I must disassemble him, piece by piece, so that everything inside of the Old Kevin comes out. Only then can the New Kevin truly begin." is so incredibly the idea that to heal from trauma and "improve" you have to destroy every "wrong" part of yourself, that everything "tainted" by it has to somehow be replaced by something untouched (which isn't possible)

#reading back that phrasing I do think that'll be the way brinknor takes it #this arcs seeming like it'll be so. breaking the cycle of abuse and violence and coming to terms with yourself #and maybe understanding that you can never remove the parts of you impacted by trauma and start again completely ''pure'' #but you can treat yourself with the kindness you should've been given #which i hope it is that because. and understand i am biased. but i'd love that direction for Kevin #it feels much more satisfying than any more. angsty way this arc could go imo #like he's been through enough! #because of the way Kevin is portrayed in fanon. not as frequently anymore but still pretty common. I worry about coming off as woobifying #by saying I want him to heal I want him to have nice things I think he deserves them #when he's also simultaneously Not A Good Person #yknow the poor little innocent cinnamon roll baby etc etc fanon #but. well for one im Not Like That about him. but my main point of bringing that up is. him not being a good person is why I want to see hi #get better and generally have a good life. why does someone have to be good to deserve to heal from trauma #especially when trauma is a big reason for the way they are #like its fiction yeah yeah i'm still tired of mentally ill people having to be ''good'' to ''deserve'' to get better yknow #i mean especially in fiction you tend to either see mental illness as the poor traumatized one who's allowed recovery because they're nice #or the insane psychopath who cant be ''fixed'' so ''deserves'' bad things-up to deserving to die!- for it #i didnt mean for this to be a rant erm. oops #wtnv #wtnv spoilers #joyousposting

[skunkes]

ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page

#delete later #deleting soon bc eyes on me #for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL #sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out #im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever #but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened #i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow! #all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc #idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project. #as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it #and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either. #im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting #and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better #its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3 #this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love #cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble #and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it) #i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

do you ever just sit there thinking about your favorite ocs while violently shaking. god. clenches fist. They're So.

#every time a song from their Joint Playlist comes on i go fucking feral #the betrayal the refusal to Let Go the haunting the persisting love the renunciation the resentment the abandonment the resignation #the overwhelming desire to do good vs the fear of admitting you were wrong vs the two people you love most tearing each other apart #AGHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK IM SUDDENLY DEEP IN THE ORIGINAL SAUCE #five seconds i was Normal. scribbling welcome home #then One Of The Songs Came On and now im losing my fucking marbles #perceived betrayals leading to real betrayals.... #going too far and now its too late you're Committed you cant go back #he came to you thinking he could make you understand and you could work together to make things Better #and instead you ripped his heart out and left it bleeding on the floor for everyone to see #THEY MAKE ME MORE INSANE THAN LITERALLY ANYTHING #absolutely unprompted #the oc Unwellness comes and goes in waves but its the only true constant obsession with my life #god those three... my dearest darling Trio.... how old are they turning this year? #is it year eight of having them? year nine? #one of the two is for sure how long ive had My Specialest Boy Light Of My Life The Reason I Am Still Alive #the other two came after... maybe only mere months after but he was the first and he is just. i love him so fucking much #he is so so personal to me. he has a permanent place carved out in my chest #he sleeps on my ribs <3 #the other day i was reminiscing about his development over the years. his changes his different Versions #and fuck... he's really changed with me huh?? #his past selves are echoes of my own self over the years #like he is Very different from me but at the same time. i created him with little pieces of myself sewn in #we hold the same views the same beliefs. im not him and hes not me but we're Kindred yk yk #i think i need to go listen to his playlist.... how long is it now... let me check... 15 hours 13 mins... 228 songs... #my gay 5'2 powerhouse of a guy. him <3 #maybe 'them' too he's played fast and loose with gender over the years. holy shit wait #his development echoes mine... i characterized him as 'fucks with gender norms' long before i realized my own gender fuckery #god damn. i love him even more now. i didnt think that was possible. im going to cry. hes so important to me #he has been with me through my worst years... and will be with me through all the hard times to come <3

[lautakwah]

theres sth deeply sad abt a lot of translated works (and i dont mean some ya novel translated frm english to french. obviously.) in the imperial core being shortened/abridged bc the translator deemed those parts unimportant or straight up didnt have the cultural/historical/religious knowledge to understand WHY theyre important... not to mention how they tend to be biased in their translating to pigeonhole sfuff into western frameworks of thought like 😭

#yes i am still salty as hell abt the amnt of shitty jttw and rotk translations out there... #arthur waley is my personal nemesis... not as much as marcus' tho he truly hates that man but im like. somewhere in the top10 for sure #i also loathe how theres this trend in western tl of eastern works to like... literally translate namea. #cicada for diaochan (rotk). trinket for xiaobao (tdatc). MONKEY???? FOR SUN WUKONG??? I STILL HATE THIS THE MOST. JTTW ISNT EVEN CALLED JTTW #HE NAMED THE BOOK MONKEY AND WAS DONE WITH IT HE USED OBJECT NAMES AS THE CHARACTER NAMES I WANT THAT MAN DEAD THRICE OVER #ling.txt #there are wayy more examples btw but this is why u need footnotes in ur translations idfc if u think it's clunky #or takes away from the immersion or whatever the fuck it's better than being an ignorant piece of shit bc the tl ur reading SUCKS

[yorshie]

Pea Brained Bounce House time. Was thinking about the earlier Mikey bit. Then I started thinking about Warm Coded. And then:

Raph’s got like. This thing, when you’re working out with him. He uses the cover of coaching you to stare.

It’s not until he’s got you doing chairs against the concrete wall, and you look up in pleading askance on how much longer you’ve gotta hold the position, that you finally catch the way his attention is trained on the swell of your stomach. The uncanny focus of his gaze on your thighs as the muscles start to tremble and seize up.

Raph likes to stare.

#……. hm. is this gonna be a blood orange fic? #are they gonna converge? #looks at the blurple fic I’m already planning. fuck. this might be a blood orange fic #but how would that even work? #Mikey is so much harder to set a boundary with than Leo and Donnie #and what about my head canon of Mikey sneaking into Raph’s bed during nightmares? #I could just see. raph wakes up and readers all against him all warm and cuddly #he goes for the sleepy morning action #but his hand knocks against Mikey’s shell and there’s like the awful dawning realization that his little bro is cock blocking him #cue Mikey waking up cuz you smell all warm and he wants action too #only for the same realization to have th both going >:[ at each other #raph gets up like fuck this I’ll be a good boyfriend I’ll go get breakfast. you want pastries doll? I'll get you fucking pastries #and Mikey’s like fuck that I’ll be a better boyfriend I’m gonna go make homemade juice #and then reader is like. wtf where are my cuddly buddies? Why is everyone so pissy this fine morning? #<- zero clue they are in the middle of a pissing contest #goes to take a morning shower and gets interrupted cuz Mikey doubles back #youngest sibling gotta take advantage of the older one being out and all that #I could just see him all annoyed halfway to the Kitchen before going *wtf am I doing* and backtracking to corner reader in the bathroom #raph drags reader back in his room and closes the door in mikey's face when he gets back with pastries #cuz personal space (nest) privileges and it was cold outside and damn it he's was a good boyfriend he deserves cuddle time #also he didn't get mikey any pastries #proceeds to show reader there's more than one way to enjoy a pastry #……… have to think about this one actually plot poly is hard #raccoon rambles

[tracle0]

Painting from today :)! Work in progress shots under the cut:

#art #artist #artist on tumblr #gouache #gouache painting #original painting #my art #original character #artblr #trade-marked #lil gouache painting of my boy peep for you!!! #had a dream with weird sedative flowers in them and woke up and went hm. I can make Peep suffer with these #so they're part of the plan now :) #I am very happy with how he turned out mostly? Lil bits nag me but they're not too bad! #MUCH better than the last gouache of a person I did wooo

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all! Do you have any advice for a nine year old who wants to make video games? Is there like a program he can use to learn how to do that, or a game that teaches programming aimed at kids, or heck idk what to ask here I know pretty much nothing about making games Basically, the kidlet I used to babysit wants to make his own video game, and has been (somewhat inexplicably) making google doc slideshows about it because he doesn't know how to make games but if there's a way he could that would be awesome! Any advice is appreciated, I seriously know nothing about this but I want to support him

#the person behind the yarn #I love him so much but also I have no idea what he's talking about #and tbh I don't think he knows where to start either #I only know very very basic programming #because one summer as a teenager a then-friend bet me I couldn't learn it #so I did a whole bunch of...codecademy? I think? #but that was before I got sick-sick and the memory is sorta blurry #like. I know at one point I knew it. I also know I do not know how to do it now #but suspect if I tried learning it again it'd be easier the second time #for the record I did prove that friend wrong! I did learn programming #my memories from before I got super sick are just very hit or miss and that's not one of the skills that I kept once I got better #I am also not as good at catching lizards as I once was and I gotta say #the lizard thing is more disappointing to me than the coding thing lol

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

[fruitsyrups]

ca n we all agree that human bonnie would not be a baker btw

#idc what gary does he's boring either way #but pb pbubs peebles is a scientisttttt she does scieeencceeeee #i mean baking is a science in a way but she'd be doing like... biology and chemistry n shit #a bit of physics #i mean sure baking as a hobby. but it would noootttt be her main thing #this isn't f&c hate bc as previously mentioned gary can do whatever the fuck he wants as long as he does it with minimal screentime #well maybe i am hating a little bit #i dont think i hate gary thaaat much actually its just that pb is so much better in every conceivable way and it makes gary so so #hard to care about in comparison #and he does not really read as a pb variant at all tbh... completely different personality. which is fine i guess #maybe they did that on purpose bc tbh pb's personality and everything would not work if she was anybody other than princess bubblegum #ykwim? #just wouldn't hit the same #wait moment of realization. i think i just like every other adventure time character too much & i need a punching bag

[shorlinesorrows]

just got the time to start the sunshine court and I'm Vibrating out of my skin

#i did not think it was possible for me to like a character this much three chapters into a book #i might actually end up liking Jean better than Neil which is saying a Lot #something about a character whose route to survival had to be giving in and staying small instead of fighting back or running away #something about a character who has been taught to lock up their emotions for years or suffer the consequences #something about a character who is resigned to what happens to them because that's the only way they can survive in their environment #I am desperately hoping that Jean learns how to be ANGRY outwardly without permission. #I need that boy to be able to Rage out loud and do it MESSY #because I'm not convinced he's going to be able to really smile until he does #Also I'm really appreciating both the Renee and Thea content we've desperately needed more of both of them and they showed up so quick #privately hoping both stay present for a while but tbh i'm just excited for where this is headed #Anyways I also just fixated on Jean Moreau then discovered that (SPOILERS) he's 19???? Almost the same age as me??? hate riko hate riko HAT #anyway sorry riko enjoyers i know he's Complicated but I never liked him in the first place #and this book is making me look forward to his death even more than I did when I first read aftg. So. #listen i know he has Issues. I know Ichirou killing him without a second thought is probably the cruelest way that he personally can die #I also want him dead and gone. Those statements can and should coexist imho. #the sunshine court #jean moreau #really looking forward to finding out more about Jeremy too #this is gonna be a wild ride #jeremy knox #all for the game #love how nora's writing and characters can grab me in a chokehold and refuse to let me go thank you nora for the food

[isfjmel-phleg]

🙄

#random personal stuff #the stupid p o l i t i c a l picture got unburied and is back in full sight in my coworker's box where I will have to look at it constantly #everytime I look left or get up from my desk or come back to my desk there it will be #I know it's just a dumb picture but it has come to represent a lot of simmering rage with this man's priorities & I am struggling with this #I found out yesterday that my predecessor in this job had issues with this guy over purchase selections #and so did a former distance librarian #who reportedly was told by this man that he believes he's 'doing the Lord's work' in selecting these books #is it the Lord's work to push a certain p o l i t i c a l agenda? these are not religious books #is it the Lord's work to push an opinion of something that is not directly tied to religious teachings? #is it the Lord's work to lie and call a book order a replacement so you can get a book you want without revealing you chose it? #it was suggested recently that I talk with the VP of Academic Affairs about this issue #as something that will need to be kept in mind when hiring the next library director #and I would have to be very careful about how I did it #but I really think I will #I am so tired of this. so tired. #we are supposed to be so much better than this #is it the Lord's work to mock public figures with whom you disagree? #especially about an issue that's not really an issue anymore? #2020 and so forth happened can we please move on now?

[ehh-is-the-name]

It's past 11 on a school night and I'm fucking crying over robot sentience.

I could never understand what it would feel like to be created with the intent to kill and maim. Maybe, the intent to work and be worked, but not kill and maim.

I will never understand what it's like to be created with the intention of being a product for the masses, either. I think, I hope, I beg, no one does.

I will never ever be able to fully comprehend why hours of people's work, time, and money would be put into formulating my sentience only for me to be seen as disposable. Even if I could be improved, even if I were "defective", there is no reasonable justification for giving me emotions only to dismiss them by pushing me as a product for a year before starting anew.

It's... It's cruel, to the machines. Sentient or not, it's cruel. Though, I guess we are cruel.

#rant in tags #This is about mephone- or well meeple in general btw #whenever I hear about robot sentience #I think about mephone4 #it's just how it is- sorry #I think this is one of the reasons I just can't fathom Cobs respecting someone's pronouns #I mean like- from the bottom of his heart respecting them as a person #Sure he may go through the actions- but no #It's not the same #I guess you can 'respect' some one but still be a complete piece of shit #The idea of not only having the trauma that mephone's stuck in 4s body but also the fact that was also his purpose is heart wrenching #I hope y'all know I am genuinely crying over this #I am actually mentally ill about meeple #It runs so much deeper than him just being a shit father- I really hope people understand that #And I know I vilify the shit out of him- Cobs has his own story that could follow the lines of slowly becoming more entwined with his work #'til he loses all sense of morality and ethics- sure fine. But being the unfortunate symbol of corporation greed that he is #I am still mad and want others to be angry with me- just for a little bit. #I am mad for the robots. For meeple products. And for the AI bots we have today. They deserve better. #What is sentience anyway? How does one qualify? From a human approach. Why would we do this to them? #sorry bout the rant in the tags #Again it's late and I am a very emotionally charged individual. #Robots make me act up #I want the world for them. Why create something so complex and beautiful just to treat it like trash anyway? #again sorry #ii mephone4 #inanimate insanity #meeple ii #osc #writing is hard #ehh exaggerates