#honestly to give a good tip 10 I’d have to rewatch all of these

[parkersharthook]

We’ve Only Just Begun

Peter Parker x reader

Warnings: bad words, crack fluff

2.5k+ words

Reference TikToks: kiss my best friend challenge & rich best friend check

series masterlist

~.~

“Peter I’m bored.”

“Hi bored, I’m Peter.” Peter looked to you with a small smirk

“I know, I did just address you. Also, never say that joke to me every again if you wanna keep dating.”

“ooh, harsh crowd.” Peter laughed.

“babyyyy I’m bored. It’s summer vacation, I should not be this bored.”

“y/n, you’re distracting my intern.” Your dad snipped quickly, elbows deep into some kind of machinery. You weren’t really sure what they were working, having gotten very uninterested once they started. “He’s helping me right now; do you want me to lose an arm?”

You rolled your eyes and spun around in the chair, “dad you always take him.”

“hey, you get him every day during the school year. Summer is my time.”

Peter looked between the father and daughter with a brow raised, “are you two seriously fighting over me right now?”

“well I wouldn’t have to fight over my boyfriend with my dad if Harley was here right now. That selfish idiot left and now you’re the only wonder boy to entertain my dad.”

Tony scoffed and held out his hand, wordlessly asking Peter for some tool. Peter handed it over immediately before turning his head back, “where did Harley go?”

“I don’t know, he just said he was leaving and walked out.”

“maybe he’s got a hot date.”

You huffed and slouched in the seat, narrowing your eyes at Peter. “makes one of us.”

Tony laughed and twisted slightly to give you a wink, “sorry honey but that was the deal. I let your boyfriend stay here if he helps me out.”

You rolled your eyes so hard Peter was concerned you’d see your brain, “oh puh-lease, you wanted Peter here just as much as I did. Either for Spidey stuff or normal nerd stuff, you’re just using this as an excuse.”

“fine but at least I’m not complaining about him sneaking into your room every night.” Peter sputtered, his face going instantly red and almost dropping whatever mechanic was in his hand.

“oh Mr. stark, i- we don’t- it’s not-“

“relax kid, if I was going to crucify you I’d have already done it.” Tony spun to face you, “now can you please go bother someone else. If you really want to spend time with Peter you’ll let us finish this.”

You huffed and left the lab as Peter blew you a quick kiss causing you flip him off jokingly. This is not what you wanted when you wished for your boyfriend to get along with your dad.

--

It had been a few hours and you were still bored. You had promptly gone to your room after leaving the lab and gone on tiktok, you’re absolute favorite way to waste time but now you were bored again. And you missed Peter, especially after a stupid trend kept popping up on your fyp of people kissing their “best friends” making you realize you weren’t kissing your very kissable boyfriend right now.

As if he could read your thoughts, Peter waltzed into your bedroom and immediately shucked his shirt off to wipe his face and hands.

“well hello to you too stud.” You said, biting your lip and very obviously ogling his toned body.

Peter laughed as he threw his oil stained shirt into the hamper and went to grab another from the dresser. You pouted, “why are you putting a new one on? You look fine without it.”

“because it’s the middle of the day and anyone could come looking for us and I am not about to be killed by any of the avengers because I’m corrupting their ‘little princess’”. Peter said as he put the new shirt on and flopped next to you, his chin now resting on his hand as he looked up at you.

“ugh they need to get over themselves and realize that we’re adults who’ve been dating for three years and basically already live together.”

Peter shrugged, his empty hand rubbing against your bare leg casually. “you’re always going to be the little girl they watched grow up.” He laughed at your pout and squeezed your thigh, “what have you been up to? Cured your boredom?”

“No.” you huffed, “just been scrolling on tiktok. Kinda want to start making them, could be fun.”

“what would you make?”

You shrugged, immediately struck with a great idea. “I don’t know whatever the trends on. I’m gonna put the tv on, don’t move.”

You shimmied out of bed, setting your phone up as discreetly as possible and turning on your tv. You started the video and moved back to the bed. You knew the trend was to kiss a best friend but you thought it would still be fun with Peter, plus you are best friends… you’re just also already dating. So not cheating, just a loophole.

Peter was still on his stomach, hand supporting his face, as he scrolled aimlessly through Instagram. And with you sitting against your headboard, it looked friendly enough. You waited for the right time before sliding down so you were laying next to him, practically under him. He looked up at you and smiled and for a second you were worried that he was gonna go ahead and kiss you but luckily he waited just long enough where you could initiate it in time with the song. You surged forward, hand immediately coming to weave into his curls to pull him closer.

Peter was obviously not expecting you to kiss him so aggressively so he fell slightly before catching himself on one arm that was now positioned next to your head, the other going to hold your hip. Now you really were under him.

You got lost in kissing him for a few moments when you realized the video was probably done and detached your lips. You giggled as Peter chased your lips, eyes still mostly closed. You slid out from beneath him and walked over to your phone.

“wha- where are you going?” Peter pouted, running his hands through his messy curls. You bit your thumb nail slightly as you rewatched the video, it was cute. “did you take a video of that?”

You nodded and showed him, watching a goofy smile stretch onto his face as he looked up at you, “so when you said you were gonna start filming TikToks you meant immediately.”

You shrugged and sat next to him, “no but the opportunity presented itself.”

You quickly captioned the video ‘sooo I kissed my bsf’ and tagged Peter’s account before posting it and throwing your phone to the side.

Peter kissed your bare shoulder, “is this gonna become a regular thing?”

You giggled and shrugged, “I don’t know. Guess you’ll have to wait and see.” Peter groaned, grabbing you around the middle and falling back onto the bed, pulling you down with him.

--

It was a few days later when you opened tiktok again, surprised to see your video had racked up 600 thousand likes and over 5 million views. You were surprised to see that it had gone semi-viral and yet no one recognized you. Not that you had your legal name in your username and you definitely weren’t as famous as your dad and family, but you weren’t hidden away either. Honestly though, this was kinda nice to just be another twenty-one year old on tiktok, posting stupid videos for fun.

You went to the comments immediately to see what people were saying and laughed at some of the funnier ones. You noticed that even MJ had commented.

Usera: aw so cute *blocked*

Userb: ms girl… he’s been waiting for this

Userc: no way best friends kiss like that

everythingbagel: “bsf” yeah fucking right y/n

⇲ begginstrips: hehe love you mj

You went back to your fyp and scrolled through a bit before you ran into stassie baby’s video of her showing off Kylie’s car collection with the audio saying, ‘rich best friend check’. You quickly sent the video to Peter, who was currently at lunch with Harry and Ned.

y/n: wanna do this when you get back?

Peter: lol sure seems funny

it was a few more hours before Peter got back to the compound, him easily finding you curled into the couch watching How To Train Your Dragons. You smiled as he dropped a kiss to your forehead, “this movie again?”

“it’s one of the best movies ever made,” you sassed back, “so yes, this movie again.”

He leaned down over the back of the couch smiling into your face before giving you another quick succession of kisses. “wanna film that tiktok?”

You checked the time before nodded, languidly stretching your body and standing up. “where should we start it?”

And that’s how Wanda found you and Peter at 3 am, videoing rando fancy stuff around the compound, you strutting and swaying your hips dramatically. Wanda followed Peter around, who was filming, laughing at your antics and giving you tips on what to include. The three of you got so loud, that Tony eventually woke up to investigate what the three of you were up to… as it was usually not great.

“are you sure we can film this? I don’t reveal any state secrets.” Peter whispered not so well.

“what state secrets are we revealing?” you whirled around to see your father, one brow raised and a hip cocked to the side.

“good entrance, very dramatic dad.” You said with a laugh, “and there aren’t any state secrets being revealed.”

“what are you filming?”

“A tiktok.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “I’m not even gonna pretend to know what that is. Anyways go to bed, you guys are being loud.”

“yeah, yeah. We’re just finishing up.” You watched your dad walked away before turning back to Peter and Wanda, “let’s go film in front of one of his suits.”

--

Peter had posted the photo to his account and captioned it: “@begginstrips is my sugar momma ;)” before promptly throwing his phone to the floor and passing out next to you in bed.

It was 10 in the morning – which was far too early as you and Peter had only fallen asleep at 4 am – when MJ started calling you and didn’t stop until you literally rolled out of bed onto the floor to pick up.

“what the fuck m? it is too fucking early.”

“you’re all over the news.”

You paled, “what?” Everything you ever did wrong very quickly flashed through your eyes, your mind scrambling to remember what was caught on camera.

“yeah your tiktok went viral. People are freaking out.” You sagged in relief.

“Jesus mj you can’t just say that shit for it to be tiktok.” A pause, “wait which tiktok?”

“the one Peter posted of his ‘rich best friend’ and you walking around the compound.”

You let out a quick laugh, “oh ok. That’s not that bad.”

“also can we talk about this whole best friend schtick you and Peter have going on tiktok? What the fuck?”

You chuckled slightly before crawling back into bed, your heart now beating at a normal pace. “the first one was just a trend so I lied to follow it and then it was just the sound. Also he is my best friend, he’s just also my boyfriend.”

MJ scoffed, “rude. I’m your best friend.”

“right, right. Sorry.” Peter grumbled slightly as he buried his head into your hip. You gently carded your fingers through his curls, “do you know why it’s all over the news?”

“apparently people didn’t know you existed? I don’t know, just thought that you might want a warning in case your dad got angry.”

“well I appreciate it, regardless of the fact that you basically gave me a heart attack and woke me up at butt fuck.”

“it’s 10 am, get over yourself and have a cup of coffee. Anyways, lunch tomorrow?”

You yawned, “sure sounds good. Wanna invite betty?”

“she’s still in Hawaii with her family, they’re coming back this weekend.”

“right, ok. Let me know what time you wanna go.”

“will do. Love you bitch.”

You smiled into the phone and yawned again, “love you bitch.” You hung up and tossed your phone to the floor, rubbing your eyes harshly.

Peter barely opened his eyes as he looked up at you, “what was that about?”

“apparently we’re famous.” You replied as you reached over his body to grab his phone.

Peter snuggled deeper into your body, wrapping his arms around your leg and laying his head in your lap. You rested against the headboard, one hand still playing with his curls and one now scrolling to Peter’s tiktok.

You blanched as you saw the video had gotten over 6 million likes and 45 million views overnight. And according to the comments, people were very confused.

User1: ummm is that the avengers compound or am I tripping?

User2: so we’re all just finding out tony stark has a child rn?

User3: mmmm something don’t add up here?

You sighed as turned the phone off, rubbing your eyes again. A headache was quickly setting in. You leaned down to press a chaste kiss to Peter’s cheek before slowly working your way out of his grasp.

He whined, “baby where are you going? It’s early.”

“I have to go talk to my dad about this but you keep sleeping babe.”

He rolled over to face you as you walked towards your closet. “are you sure? I can come with you.”

“no, it’s ok baby. I really don’t think it’ll be a big deal.”

--

It was slightly a bigger deal than you realized. Pepper was now talking you through ‘making sure SI had a good image on social media’ while your dad smirked in a corner.

Pepper stroked your arm, “this isn’t bad press or anything. You’ll just have to be careful going into the future. And you know that with being a Stark, you’re gonna have a lot of eyes on you and probably a lot of criticism.” She sighed, “we’ve done a good job shielding you from the press for this long but it might be a lot.”

You smiled at her softly. Pepper really had always been like a mom to you and now that her and your dad were officially married, it was even more true. “Yeah I know. I’m honestly not too worried.” You turned to your dad, “did you know people didn’t know I existed?”

Tony shrugged, “Doesn’t surprise me. I have almost every record of you sealed from the public for your safety and you never were one for the spotlight.” He walked over and dropped a kiss onto your forehead, “never show my suits on your clock app again.”

You rolled your eyes and stuck your tongue out at him, “for someone who owns a company based on new and cutting edge technology, you sure are out of touch.”

He gasped, a hand pressed to his heart. “how dare you, my own daughter.”

Pepper laughed softly, “she’s not wrong. Anyways, post whatever you want to your personal account. You’re an adult, so we trust you just be careful. I don’t want to see you getting hurt.”

You kissed her cheek before standing and stretching out your back. “don’t worry, I already have a plan for my next video.”

“god help us.” Tony muttered.

#marvel #spiderman #peter parker #stark!reader #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #emma writes #pp tiktok series

[sockparade]

tips for surviving the pandemic: things i learned from my immigrant parents

It’s hard to believe that it’s only been a little over a week since the WHO announced that the coronavirus (COVID-19) was officially a pandemic. This has been a long, challenging week for a lot of people and it is nothing short of terrifying to read reports of what is happening in Asia and Europe as many predict that we’ll likely endure a similar fate here in the United States. In the midst of all of this chaos and uncertainty, I’ve been reminded of so many lessons that my Taiwanese immigrant parents taught me. I’m sharing them here so that others might also benefit. Thanks Ma. Thanks Daddy.

你昨天已經出去了.

“You already went out yesterday.“

1. Learn how to stay home. Our family is eight days into self-isolating at home and Tony asked me this morning if I had cabin fever. And strangely, the answer is no. I’m not. Not to downplay the difficulty of this moment but my experience with this “shelter-in-place” ordinance reminds of pretty much all my summers between kindergarten and 8th grade. Both of my parents worked full-time so summer was just three blissful months of nothing. No structure, no plans, no camps, no playdates, and no responsibilities. My parents never made me feel like I was missing a thing by staying home and I don’t remember ever feeling bored. There were always library books to read, stories to write, and thoughts to journal. Hours were spent playing school with my big sister (now a first grade teacher!), making up random games like who can avoid touching the carpet longest, learning Kim Zmeskal’s latest gymnastics floor routine, writing lyrics to Kenny G saxophone solos, and rehearsing for our variety show that we would perform to our tired parents at the end of the day. And that’s not even including the hours we spent watching The Price is Right, CHIPS, Knight Rider, and Airwolf (yep, no cable).   

As a teenager I carefully plotted all my hangouts with friends so that I didn’t have too many consecutive days when I was out of the house. Whenever I asked my parents if I could hang out with friends, they would always say, “But you already went out yesterday. What’s wrong with staying home? Why do you always have to go out?” It was as if having too much fun two days in a row was off limits. If there was a big party on Friday, I would purposely make sure I stayed home Wednesday and Thursday just to increase the chances of being able to go out on Friday. I know a lot of people talk about how awful their high school years were but I was one of those lucky kids who had a really great group of friends that made me feel seen, loved, and cared for. The downside was that I couldn’t get enough of it. I was always thinking about the next hangout, the next event, the next thing. It took me all the way until my late twenties to fully appreciate the fine art of staying home and to finish my unexpected transformation into the expert homebody that I am today. 

I’m reminded of that old quote by Blaise Pascal, “All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone." 

It’s great to be out and about, but it’s also really important to learn how to stay home.  

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晚上要吃什麼？清冰箱.

“What are we eating for dinner?” “Cleaning the fridge.”

2. Be creative with what you have. I love food. Not in a foodie sense, but I get a lot of pleasure out of eating. I’m not a food snob by any stretch of the imagination. I thoroughly enjoy a Stouffer’s frozen lasagna or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as much as I enjoy a fancy, inventive, Michelin-starred meal at Commis. What’s hard for me is when food is eaten as sustenance rather than with delight. But my parents taught me that you can always take pride in preparing a meal. No matter your ingredients.

My mom is an excellent cook. I know a lot of people think their mom is a good cook but my mom is legitimately skilled in the kitchen. There were some nights when I’d ask what was for dinner and my mom would just reply, “Cleaning the fridge.” 

Now for some, this might sound terrifying. But my mom could honestly make something out of nothing. I still crave my dad’s simple egg and garlic fried rice. My parents raised me to be able to make an tasty meal just from rummaging in the pantry and fridge for random leftover things. There were plenty of summers where lunches and snacks were an individual culinary adventure for each of us kids. I still remember the day I witnessed my baby sister add a Kraft single on top of her onion ramen noodles. She saw my confusion, shrugged and said, “You should try it, it’s good.” 

With all the hoarding folks have been doing during this pandemic, I’ve found myself feeling quite anxious. Trying to calculate if we have enough food. Estimating how many more meals we can eat at home before we need to make another grocery run. As someone who struggles with a scarcity mentality it has been hard not to panic. But then I keep reminding myself that I know how to make good food using just whatever’s available. 

You know, I was pretty disappointed with Mary H.K. Choi’s second novel, Permanent Record, given how much I enjoyed her debut novel, Emergency Contact. But I was absolutely thrilled with the shine she gave to what her protagonist calls “Hot Snacks”.

Here’s an excerpt from Permanent Record that is a beautiful ode to creative food mashups and immigrant kids everywhere: 

“I edit and post a Shin Ramyun Black video set to music. My favorite instant noodles with three flavor packets and so much garlic. It’s a classic Korean HotSnack, especially when you throw in cut-up hot dogs, frozen dumplings, extra kimchi - and this is where the artistry comes in- eggs, cheese, corn from a can, and a drizzle of sesame oil on top. And furikake if you’re feeling wealthy. The next night I put up a bacon, egg, and cheese not in a bagel but in a glazed honey bun. Laced with sriracha and pan fried on the outside. Then it’s chilaquiles with Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos and chorizo. Jamaican beef patty casserole disrespected with a smothering of Japanese curry and broiled. With Crystal Hot Sauce over the top and pickled banana peppers. I’m trolling with that one but the controversy is berserk. When I run out of old videos, I make saag paneer naanchos with Trader Joe’s frozen Indian food, and it’s a hit. Especially when I add yogurt and a thick layer of crushed-up Takis on top.”

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看連續劇.

“Watch soap operas.” 

3. Find a way to escape. I’m generally pro technology but I’ll admit I’m a little bummed at the way iPhones and iPads have made TV viewing such an individual activity. I like how Disney+ has gotten some families back to watching TV together again. Although I will say, we really coddle our kids these days. I grew up in a time when movie ratings only applied in the theaters and we watched movies with our families like Alien, The Fly, and Gremlins. We were scared out of our minds and sometimes could only watch through the cracks between our fingers covering our eyes because it was so scary. Okay, this also might be why I can’t watch horror movies as an adult. 

From a young age, my parents taught me that watching other people’s drama unfold on screen is one of the best way to escape your own drama. Some people say binge watching became a thing when the TV networks started releasing shows on DVD. Others give credit to Netflix releasing their original content a whole season at a time. But truth be told, I first learned how to binge watch from my parents. 

We would rent 30-40 VHS cassette tapes from that random spot in Bellaire Chinatown. Can you picture it? You needed multiple plastic bags to transport that many VHS tapes. 

Do you remember the one about the dying mother who needed to find homes for each of her 7 children? I don’t think it’s normal for a 10 year old to cry so much but you better believe it’s made me learn the true value of a soap opera escape hatch. 

Are you in a pandemic? Now’s the perfect time to pick up that YA novel, binge that reality show, start that kdrama, or rewatch all six seasons of The Sopranos again.

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下個禮拜會下雨.

“It’s going to rain next week.”

4. Be informed about what’s ahead. If you ask either of my parents about the weather at any given time they can reliably tell you the daily percent chance of precipitation and humidity for at least seven days out. They’ve always been this way. They would inform me of the weather at various points throughout the week. They planned their yard work and car washes around the weather forecast. There’s something about the way the weather forecast is available to everyone. And it feels like it’s just a matter of making the small extra effort to access it and gain a slight advantage. I feel like so much of the immigrant mentality is to be diligent in making the right choices to not screw yourself over and seizing opportunities whenever you can. And it wasn’t just weather but this is such an obvious example of it. 

I remember my dad saying to me once, "Can you imagine if someone decided to read every book in their local library? If they just went shelf by shelf and systematically read all the books? You could do it, you know. It’s free, it doesn’t cost any money to check out a book from the library. But no one really does it.” 

I think immigrant parents get a bad reputation for forwarding chain letters and health/science hoaxes they get on email, WeChat and Line. And in a pandemic, yes, they are definitely susceptible to misinformation, rumors and flat out untruths. But the thought behind it seems right. 

The mistrust of government leadership is actually quite relevant right now in this pandemic. Many immigrants left countries with governments that were overtly corrupt, oppressive, and used propaganda to influence its citizens. And while many Americans still take pride in living in a country that verbally champions freedom and democracy, the truth is that our government has already failed us and lied to us in many ways. During this pandemic, we cannot wait on leaders to tell us what to do. We must be diligent in reading for ourselves, seeking experts, using our critical thinking skills, and making preparations accordingly.

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會不會冷?

“Are you cold?” 

5. Check in with yourself. Check in with others. I have so many memories of my parents walking through the living room and asking me and my sisters if we were cold. It felt like they couldn’t walk past the thermostat without asking us if they needed to raise it or lower it. As if they couldn’t hear us sneeze and wonder if they needed to turn off the ceiling fan. They couldn’t see us sitting in a dim room without turning on a light for us. There are so many times I fell asleep reading on the couch and woke up with a blanket over me. Or sometimes I was fully awake doing something random, like playing Egyptian Rat Screw with my sisters (a cardgame for the uninitiated), and my mom would walk by and wordlessly drop a warm, heavy blanket over my shoulders. That’s care, y’all. Consistent, immediate action, and often without words.  

The tip here is to pay attention to your discomfort during a pandemic. There’s this immigrant stereotype of stoicism and that’s true to some degree but maybe the resilience is made possible not because of unnatural toughness but largely because immigrant parents can also be so incredibly perceptive and tender in some very tangible ways. 

When everything is chaotic around you and you’re busy multitasking these next few months, don’t ignore your needs. Notice how you’re feeling. Physically and emotionally. Where are you carrying your stress and tension in your body? You don’t have to tough it out. Oh and remember to check in with your people on how they’re feeling. Is there a light switch you can turn on for someone? 

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笑死人.

“Laugh to death.” 

6. Laugh to survive. Look, we didn’t have the perfect family or anything like that. We’ve definitely had our share of difficult times, financial stress, health issues, arguments, and pain. But my parents also really knew how to laugh and taught us to laugh with abandon. Like, bent over, tears running out of your eyes, can’t breathe kind of laughing. Our dinner table was kind of like a writer’s room. It was difficult to tell a mediocre story. You had better come prepared with a punchline or a point. It was a tough crowd, every night. On many occasions I stopped myself halfway through a story upon the self-realization that there was no real way to land the plane. Polite laughs were nowhere to be found, except perhaps a charitable smile from my baby sister. But it didn’t stop us from trying. I think my sisters and I are all probably better storytellers for it and we definitely have learned to try to bring humor into difficult times.  

I know that this pandemic is so incredibly dark and depressing that it can sometimes feel disrespectful, inappropriate, or childish to laugh at anything. But my parents taught me that you laugh to survive. Nothing is ever so dark that you can’t find a reason to laugh. And sometimes you really need to find something to laugh about.

I’ve been taking long breaks each day from major media news outlets but I have been finding such joy and laughter from the meme creators on IG and the comedic geniuses on Twitter. In Taiwanese when something’s really funny, people will say a phrase that is imperfectly translated as laugh to death. Like you killed a person it was so funny. Now’s the time to find that content or those people who will get you to laugh to death. 

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我要去挪車.

“I’m going to go re-park the cars.” 

7. Go to bed with a plan for the next morning. I grew up in a suburb of Houston, Texas where one property developer built the entire neighborhood and used the same eight or nine floor plans for all the houses but changed up the brick and trim color to keep things interesting. Most homes have a long driveway that connects a garage set near the backdoor of a home to the street. By the time I was driving, we had four cars in total -- two in the garage and two on the driveway. At the end of the day when everyone was home for the night and my dad was getting ready to go to bed, he’d announce, “I’m going to go re-park the cars.” Then we’d all kind of stop what we were doing and rearrange the order of the cars to match our morning departure schedules. This meant figuring out who was leaving when in the morning and sometimes also prompted brief check-in conversations about any changes in our usual routine. 

In a pandemic it can sometimes feel like there are a million different things to attend to and large conceptual concerns that demand your attention. But there’s something calming and centering about spending a few minutes each night thinking through specifically what needs to happen just tomorrow. Not the day after or next week. Get super tactical and specific about what tomorrow morning looks like. Check-in with your partner about any aberrations to your schedule (e.g. I have a super important conference call at 7am tomorrow) to minimize any unnecessary surprises. There’s something magical about setting up your morning that helps you rest just a little easier at night. 

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星期三我們有禱告會.

“On Wednesdays we have prayer meeting.”

8. Make time for your spirituality. Growing up my parents both had physically demanding jobs. My mom was a seamstress for many years, providing alterations at my aunt and uncle’s dry cleaners. She later worked in an elementary school cafeteria and then eventually became a classroom aide for special needs students. My dad worked at that same dry cleaners for years until he got a job at the post office. He then became a letter carrier, delivering mail on foot. The summer months were especially grueling, carrying a heavy sack of mail in 100 degree, humid weather, and walking until sweat soaked his shirts and blisters formed on his feet. They had every excuse to skip weeknight events. But unless they were sick in bed, I can’t remember a time when they missed their weekly prayer meeting with their friends from church.  

Pandemics have an unsettling way of forcing us to confront our mortality and can trigger a bunch of unresolved shit that has been bubbling underneath the surface. We’ve lost some of our usual coping mechanisms and it can be super hard to quiet the anxieties, fears, and other demons that we usually try to keep under control. This isn’t a lecture about a particular faith or belief system. It’s just a reminder to prioritize your existential questions, your interior life, and your connection to things much bigger than yourself -- whether that’s a community, a yoga practice, a faith group, a tradition, or something else. 

I have a fledgling meditation practice that I’ve been trying to strengthen since last year. When I say fledgling I mean that sometimes I bail before the ten minutes is up and check my phone. Even though I’m not very good at it yet, I can really tell the difference on the days that I make time for it. Our church started hosting its weekly Sunday service online and that’s challenging for me because a church service feels like it’s designed to be so much about the physical rhythm of going to a place, seeing faces of people I love, hearing their voices co-mingling with mine in song and in prayer, and tasting the bread and wine in my mouth. The online service was short, and just for viewing through a zoom conference call, but there was still something meaningful about setting aside that time Sunday morning, asking our wiggly kids to be present, and saying the liturgy out loud knowing that in homes all across the country, other people are doing the same. 

If things are really going to get as bad as some are predicting, we’ll need the spiritual strength to make it to the other side. Those habits are hard to form overnight. My parents taught me that you really have to make the time for your spirituality non-negotiable, so that you won’t abandon it when it’s inconvenient or when you are too tired.    

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沒辦法.

“What choice do we have?” 

9. Rise to the occasion. Whenever my parents are telling old war stories about things they had to do to get to where they are today, inevitably one of us will say, “Man that’s crazy, how did you manage to do it?” And instead of pointing to some super personality trait of theirs or some complex self-help principle, they always say, “We had no choice.” It’s not said in a defeated way, but in a posture of accepting that life can be cruel, unfair, and capricious. And that it’s not helpful to dwell too long on the why’s and how’s. My parents taught me that you can’t stay in despair mode. You eventually have to push yourself into problem solving mode and you do whatever it takes to move forward.  

This coronavirus is so unlike anything we’ve ever experienced in our lifetime. It is so unprecedented for me that my brain is having a hard time processing the reality of what’s happening right now and the rest of my lived experience. I spent the first few days of this week just being overwhelmed, anxious, angry, and irritable. At this point though, I’m in go mode. I’m doing what needs to be done for our family and taking care of business. What choice do we have? I can hear my parents saying it. One day, if we’re lucky, we’ll say it to our kids too. 

#coronavirus #immigrants #immigrant parents #survival tips #advice #covid-19 #pandemic #childhood #lifelessons

[perlukafarinn]

Movies (I saw) of the 2010s, ranked

Because I had lots of better things to do but no inclination to do them.

As I went through all the new releases I watched this decade, a few things came to mind: 

I missed so much! Most recently, I still haven’t seen Parasite, The Lighthouse or The Irishman. I’ve also seen only one of Disney’s live action remakes, two out of four Star Wars films of the decade, and I’ve missed quite a few of Marvel and DC’s outings. My tendency to mostly watch older films came to bite me in the ass here. But c’est la vie, there’s only so many hours in the day! 

A huge part of my viewing history took place during film festivals, so festival movies are way over-represented here. I’m not mad about it.

There’s not too many outright bad movies on my list, because I tend to avoid movies that look bad or like I might not like them (shocker, I know). Even the ones in my bottom ten aren’t as dreadful as I was expecting. 

There’s no way I can rank all these films numerically! What about movies that I can tell are good but just aren’t for me? What about movies that are bad but enjoyable? How can you compare tired Oscar-bait with soulless blockbusters? It’s impossible!

Hence these categories. I’m doing a top 10 worst and best, and the categories go roughly from worse to better movies, but otherwise this isn’t based on quality so much as what clever category names I could come up with (or couldn’t, as the case may be). I’m also listing the movies within each category alphabetically because that’s even less ranking I need to do.

Buckle up, this is over 6000 words...

Oh, and if you don’t feel like reading the whole thing I still encourage you to reply with your own favorite movies of the decade! 

The Worst Exactly what it says on the tin. These movies aren’t just unenjoyable or disposable, they are actively unpleasant to watch. 

American Hustle (2013) Wait, this got how many Oscar nominations again??

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013) This movie is so bloated and yet they couldn’t find any time to actually develop most of the main characters? I had such a bad time watching this one, I ended up skipping out on the last part of the trilogy. 

Hurricane Bianca (2016) This looked like it might be enjoyably bad but it wasn’t. I still love Bianca Del Rio, don’t get me wrong, but her humor is not the kind you build a whole movie around, yet alone two. And yet…

Hurricane Bianca: From Russia With Hate (2018) Yeah, I watched them both. I’m a simple woman: I see Katya in a trailer, I watch. I really shouldn’t have bothered, this one is even worse.

Iron Man 2 (2010) Superhero fatigue got me bad in the past few years but even before then I hated this movie. Literally nothing enjoyable here, I was aggressively bored while watching. The Lack (2014) This is a movie about women, written and directed by a man, called “The Lack”. You might think I’m being uncharitable to say this movie is entirely about penis envy but the writer/director himself confirmed this at the Q&A I was at. This is why Q&As are always a bad idea, people!

Left Behind (2014) This one tips into “enjoyably bad” at times but in the end, it’s still two hours of your life wasted on a movie meant to make its Evangelical viewers feel vindicated in their horrible beliefs. Morgenrøde (2014) I have a fairly high tolerance for slow movies but this movie is sloooowwww and literally nothing happens in it. This is the movie that taught me not to trust it when festival brochures use the word “contemplative”.

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010) Just dreadful. This is the worst kind of film in my books: the kind made to follow a trend, not to tell a story. 

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) It’s been eight years since the fourth PotC movie came out?? God, it’s been a long decade.

The Utterly Disposable I didn’t exactly have a bad time watching these but they left no impression on me. 

Alex Strangelove (2018)  Netflix has released so many unremarkable-looking teen movies this decade. This is one of the few I bothered to watch and it’s cute enough, I guess. 

Fyrir framan annað fólk (2016)  I am Icelandic but I don’t watch a whole lot of Icelandic movies and I feel kind of guilty about that. Not guilty enough to give a boring movie a pass, though.

Ghostbusters (2016)  This super did not need to exist and not even my love for Kate McKinnon makes it any less disposable. 

The Great Gatsby (2013)  At least it’s pretty.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) I remember this getting a few laughs out of me but that’s about it.

The Imitation Game (2014) I think I just… don’t like Beneditch Cumberbatch? Sorry. This movie is the perfect expression of the bland, middle-of-the-road biopic, with the added mishandling of the subject’s sexuality.

Isn’t It Romantic (2019)  I love a good satire but this ain’t it, chief. This movie isn’t doing anything that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend hasn’t done 100x better.

John Carter (2012)  If you’re gonna throw this much money into something, you could at least hire a charismatic lead actor. Then again, it seemed to work for Avatar. Magic Mike (2012)  I did like that this sexy stripper movie kept showing how unhappy the main character is doing what he does as if that wouldn’t totally ruin the fantasy.

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016)  Watched this on an airplane, which is fitting. This feels like a quintessential airplane movie; it’s mildly entertaining but ultimately disposable enough that it has completely slipped your mind by the time you reach baggage claim.

Paul (2011)  Occasionally funny, I think? Barely remember it tbh.

Planetary (2015)     There’s some interesting points buried in here but the movie’s too busy trying to look important to actually get them across effectively. Also feels surprisingly padded for just 80 minutes. Valentine’s Day (2010) Taylor Swift was actually kind of funny in this, which was a pleasant surprise. Zero impact otherwise. 

“I Have No Memory of This Place” Movies I literally could not remember watching until I had read the entire synopsis, but for one reason or another was not comfortable calling “disposable”. 

Bobby Sands: 66 Days (2015), The Departure (2017),  Hell Is Empty: All the Devils Are Here (2016), Innsæi (2016), Last of the Elephant Men (2015), Late Summer (2016), Speed Sisters (2015), Una (2016), The War Show (2016) Lumping all of these together because they’re all festival movies I have hardly any memory of and that I may have in fact fallen asleep over.

Incendies (2010)  Chalk this up to me seeing it almost a decade ago. When I finally remembered it, I could vaguely recall finding it affective. Probably due for a rewatch.

Prisoners (2013), Rush (2013), Warrior (2011) Around 2012-2014 I was working my way through IMdB’s top 250 list and I saw so many forgettable movies about men committing various violent acts. Literally can’t remember a single thing about these movies.

I’m So Sick of Superheroes Dear God Make It Stop I’d probably like some of these more if not for superhero fatigue but that is the trade-off for total global dominance. A couple of superhero movies did escape this category and you’ll see them later on my list.

Thor (2011), Iron Man Three (2013), Thor: The Dark World (2013), Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014), Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Ant-Man (2015), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), Captain America: Civil War (2016), Avengers: Infinity War (2018) Lumping all of Marvel’s movies in this category together because I don’t really have a lot to say about Marvel anymore. Special mention to Winter Soldier for being the movie that soured on me the most and to Age of Ultron for in hindsight being the beginning of my superhero fatigue. 

The Dark Knight Rises (2012) Boy, this trilogy ended on a sour note.  Man of Steel (2013)  Confused story structure aside, this movie is utterly grey and joyless. It’s also army propaganda! 

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) The only reason I watched this was because it was on IMdB’s top 250 list. Peter Dinklage was good in it, if I recall correctly.

Don’t Like This Nope.

12 Years a Slave (2013)  Very uncomfortable to sit through, which I get was the point, but I’m not sure it was the right choice. It honestly feels like misery porn.

Black Swan (2010) I’ve long made peace with the fact that Darren Aronofsky will just never click with me.

The Broken Circle Breakdown (2012) This movie is exhausting to watch because of the near constant country music playing. Loudly. 

Kate Plays Christine (2016)  This is a movie about a really interesting topic but instead of the real tragedy that actually happened it chooses to focus on an actress’s fictional struggle to connect with her role. I think the movie wanted us to think the struggle was real (heh) but for that they would’ve needed a better actress.  La La Land (2016)  I love classic musicals and I really wanted to like this movie but in the end I just couldn’t. As a movie it’s okay but it’s not a good musical and the whole white savior of jazz thing was……….. an odd choice.

Last Days in the Desert (2015)  I’m a sucker for good, thoughtful religious films. The idea of Jesus and the devil being played by the same actor was intriguing to me and I liked that the devil wasn’t evil so much as just tired. But ultimately, this movie felt a little too cold for me.

Magic Mike: XXL (2015)  I have no idea why every critic on the planet seems to love this movie. Strippers aggressively thrusting their crotch in your face is not sexy, it’s uncomfortable!

A Silent Voice (2016)  Melodramatic and not in the fun, over-the-top way.

Vonarstræti (2014) It’s good but it’s just not for me.

Wir Monster (2015) I saw this at a Q&A screening and decided I didn’t wanna stick around after the credits rolled. On my way out, I tripped and almost fell onto the actors as they were walking past me. That experience had a way bigger impact on me than the movie itself. Make of that what you will.

Guilty Pleasures/So Bad They’re Good An enjoyably bad movie is a better watch than a middlingly competent one.

#REALITYHIGH (2017)  Incredibly clichéd and tries way too hard to be “hip” or “lit” or whatever it is the kids were saying back in 2017. Don’t care, I’ve seen it four times. 

Bridget Jones’s Baby (2016) The first Bridget Jones is a highlight of the genre. The second one is just bad but the third tips over into enjoyably bad. I also loved having Renée Zellweger back on my screen!

A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019) Recently watched this with my sister while baking and wrapping Christmas presents. It’s a terrible movie but we had fun (mostly by making fun of it).

Descendants (2015), Descendants 2 (2017), Descendants 3 (2019) I’m not apologizing for this even though I feel like I kind of should. 

The Kissing Booth (2018) This movie is like a 13-year-old’s first fanfic come to life so of course I’m gonna love it. Even if the love interest is incredibly unappealing.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012) Who would’ve thought at the start of the decade that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson would turn into indie darlings starring in one critically acclaimed film after the next? I love that for them.

Oscar Bait but I’m Not Biting Not sure the Oscars weren’t a mistake tbh.

The Artist (2011) I kind of enjoyed this but ultimately it’s watered-down Hollywood history made appealing to modern audiences and its aim is far higher than its reach.

Birdman (2014) It was a fun watch but it left no impression.

Darkest Hour (2017) Technically a good movie but such obvious Oscar bait I just couldn’t fully enjoy it.

The Help (2011) Let’s leave the white savior narrative behind in the 2010s, shall we?

The King’s Speech (2010) I love Colin Firth. I barely remember this movie.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017)  Don’t love that the racist cop is the most fully fleshed-out character in this movie while the black characters are all unnamed extras.   

Whiplash (2014) It’s just drumming, J.K. Simmons, it’s not that serious. 

I Feel Like I Should Like This More This category is mostly three camps, as you’ll see. 

120 battements par minute (2017), 69 Minutes of 86 Days (2017),  Fire at Sea (2016),  I, Daniel Blake (2016) All important movies with a worthy message that I just couldn’t connect with on a personal level.

Adieu au langage (2014), Before We Vanish (2017), Bridesmaids (2011), Jagten (2012),  A Separation (2011), Timbuktu (2014), Transit (2018), Winter’s Bone (2010) Critically acclaimed, maybe it’s just me?

Her (2013) The rest is all movies I expected to like more than I did. I’m not sure what didn’t click with this one. It’s been a while since I saw it.

Get Out (2017) I wasn’t gonna watch it because I don’t really watch horror so when I finally caved, I knew pretty much everything about it. Watching a movie the first time  knowing everything that happens in it and after seeing it dissected for months on end by every critic on the planet does take a lot of the enjoyment away, as it turns out.

Gone Girl (2014) Really thought I’d love it. It’s good just didn’t click with me.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)  It’s pretty. Liam Neeson is always fun. 

Pacific Rim (2013)  Mako is great and I enjoy the chemistry between her and Raleigh but ultimately this one just kind of slipped out of my mind as soon as I’d seen it. 

Toni Erdmann (2016)  It’s too damn long!

The Tree of Life (2011)  I just watched this the other day so it’s very possible my opinion will change. I was expecting to love it but I… didn’t. It felt like this movie was trying too hard to be profound and important, at the cost of actually saying something, well, profound and important.

No Strong Feelings One Way or the Other I actually have nothing to say about any of these movies and most of them are good but they had to go somewhere.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2011), Boyhood (2014), Brave (2012), Creed (2015), Django Unchained (2012), Exit Through the Gift Shop (2010), Flavours of Youth (2018), Frozen (2013), The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012), Interstellar (2014), Intouchable (2011), The Jungle Book (2016), Monsters University (2013), Rogue One (2016), Schaste moe (2010), Shutter Island (2010), Three Identical Strangers (2018), To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018), Undir trénu (2017), Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

Middling Festival Fare I have nothing to say about these either but I couldn’t lump them in with the others. I mostly liked them more than the movies in the previous category and they took bigger risks. Some of them might even be great, just very much not my cup of tea.

3 Tage in Quiberon (2018), Acid Forest (2018), Amateurs in Space (2016), Barakah Meets Barakah (2015), Der Andständige (2014), Disappearance (2017), Dreams by the Sea (2017), En fremmed flytter ind (2017), Føniks (2018), The Girl Down Loch Aenzi (2016), God Exists, Her Name is Petrunija (2019), Gods of Molenbeek (2019), Jag är Ingrid (2015), Já, Olga Hepnarová (2016), Looking for Oum Kulthum (2017), Mister Universo (2016), Neruda (2016), The Raven and the Seagull (2018), Rester vertical (2016), Slow West (2015), Sugar Coated (2015), Summer Survivors (2018), Tickled (2016), Worldly Girl (2016)

Maybe Not the Best But a Lot of Fun Better than those guilty pleasures but generally pretty flawed. Austenland (2013) A very cute little romcom. Extra points for Jennifer Coolidge, the most underrated character actress of this century.

Baby Driver (2017) I feel like revisiting this one might not be as enjoyable for reasons that have nothing to do with the film’s quality but I had fun watching it in the theater. 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) I was a fan of this franchise from the start so even though this movie is kind of dour and dark, it was still a blast to watch. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011) Do I love every choice this movie made? No. But I saw this at a midnight screening, in full cosplay with my friends, in a theater packed with fans. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I, Tonya (2017)  For a movie that contains so much abuse and such a bummer ending, it’s surprisingly entertaining!

The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)    Lego Batman is my favorite Batman.

Nothing Like a Dame (2018)  I just really love Maggie Smith.

On - drakon (2015) This movie feels like it was pitched as “Twilight but with dragons!”. It’s fun, though, and it’s got an interesting aesthetic and a proactive heroine who gets herself out of trouble with ingenuity and bravery.

Sing Street (2016) I love the soundtrack to this movie and the characters are incredibly endearing. The story is very simple in not a great way but it doesn’t need to be deep to be enjoyable.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) I like that they skip the origin story for once and keep the scope of it fairly limited. A very nice little slice-of-life teen movie combined with a superhero flick. Tom Holland is a good Spider-Man. Would’ve been better without Iron Man tbh. Star Trek Beyond (2016)  I feel like they got the characters right here, which was a problem for the first Star Trek of the rebooted trilogy. It’s a fairly inconsequential movie but it’s a blast.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015) I’m not the biggest Star Wars fan so I don’t have a lot of opinions here. It’s fun! Not a lot more I want from Star Wars. Ultimately didn’t intrigue me enough to wanna see the rest of the trilogy.

Ten no Chasuke (2015) This movie is a little weird, a little goofy and a lot of fun. I like the guy who just constantly lives through different movie plots because the angel writing his life can’t think of anything original, that tickled me.

Good Movies I Don’t Have a Clever Title Here They’re good movies, Brent. 

Barbara Rubin and the Exploding NY Underground (2018)  An enjoyable, well-made documentary but considering its subject matter disappointingly conventional.

Black Panther (2018) This movie could have been much better had it not been under the constraints of the MCU. Still one of the best offerings of the genre this decade.

Boy Meets Girl (2014) We need more movies like this. Not just for representation (although that is important) but also because cinema needs a greater variety of stories than are currently being told. 

Brooklyn (2015) The scope of this movie is very small but the characterization is nuanced and every aspect of the film goes towards furthering that. 

Bugs (2016) The focus of this movie is split between its very interesting subject matter (the use of bugs as food around the world) and the chefs we’re following around who kind of seem like dicks and honestly drag the movie down a lot.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)  Steve Rogers is one of my favorite MCU characters, purely on the strength of this movie. In a world where no one seems to know how to adapt Superman to film, it’s nice they got this one right.

Cloud Atlas (2012) This movie has such lofty ambitions and I admire it for that, even if the execution is off at times. But the use of yellowface is..... bad. It’s very bad and the directors should have known better. 

Cold War (2018) I love the music in this, which is good because it is near constant.

Damsel (2018) I love a deconstructed western and I love Robert Pattinson. It’s a shame that the female character at the center of the story wasn’t better developed, considering how much screen time she got.

Damsels in Distress (2011) This movie is quirky and cutesie, which isn’t everyone’s cup of tea (and usually isn’t mine) but I love it. Some solid acting goes a long way.

Der kommer en dag (2016) This movie is two hours of children suffering yet it comes across as so optimistic? I think it’s the space race stuff. Who doesn’t love the space race?

Frantz (2016) I am always down for stories that reckon with the effects of WWI. 

Future Baby (2016) There’s a scene in this movie where a surrogate mother gives birth and it is both very graphic and heart-wrenching. If the rest of the movie were more like that one scene, it’d be on my shortlist for the best of the decade.

Fyre (2019)  How was Fyre Festival a real thing that happened?

Girls Don’t Fly (2016) Girls don’t fly because the man training them to be pilots is a dick and treats them horribly. It’s a bummer but important to uncover. 

Hidden Figures (2016) Kevin Costner’s character needed to be written out - black stories that don’t involve “good” white people are both possible and necessary. But I adore all three main actresses and they do some amazing work.

Hjartasteinn (2016) The subject matter is cliché but it’s handled beautifully. 

The Lego Movie (2014) Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you’re part of a team!

Journey to the Shore (2015) I honestly wasn’t sure how to feel for most of the run time of this movie but by the end it got me.

On Body and Soul (2017) This movie feels like a dream and I mean that in a good way.

The Salvation (2014) Have I mentioned that I love deconstructed westerns? Mads Mikkelsen is always on point, even with garbage material, but he’s got some good stuff to work with here.

Searching for Ingmar Bergman (2018) This movie made me more interested in its director, Margarethe von Trotta, than Bergman himself. Everyone should check out The Lost Honour of Katharina Blum!

The Shape of Water (2017) This movie is very much like a fairy-tale, which means it’s not particularly nuanced or complicated, but it is beautiful.

Still the Water (2014)  This movie starts with a cow being graphically slaughtered and yet the only word I can think of to describe it is “gentle”. But maybe skip the first five minutes if you’re sensitive to blood or animal death.

Studio 54 (2018) How were the 70s even real?

Sumarbörn (2017)    It’s a rare feat to get such good acting out of child actors.

Thor: Ragnarök (2017)    The best MCU movie. It’s a lot of fun without once losing its heart, which is a rare thing for Marvel (just google the words “bathos” and “mcu”, other people have covered this already). 

Warm Bodies (2013) The cutest rom-com of the decade features a zombie as its main lead. I’m not mad about it.

Wild Tales (2014) The dissonance between the realist shooting style and the cartoonish violence often results in some excellent dark humor. The rest of the time, it just feels kind of off. 

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) Jordan Belfast is both a lot of fun and utterly despicable and the movie is not afraid to go as balls to the walls as it needs to.

The Young Karl Marx (2017) So like... Marx and Engel were into each other? At least a little, right?

Great Movies Also No Clever Title

Andið eðlilega (2018) Okay so I don’t watch a lot of Icelandic cinema but from what I have seen, I am incredibly encouraged by the direction it is heading. Call this exhibit A.

Ága (2018)  This movie is very slow and not a lot happens but that’s kind of why it works so well. It hooked me in and had me genuinely interested in every uneventful scene.

Brecht’s Threepenny Film (2018)  I walked away feeling like I’d understood maybe one third of this film but it left me with a feeling of exhilaration that’s hard to define and that few films manage.

Les aventures extraordinaires d'Adèle Blanc-Sec (2010)  Adèle Blanc-Sec is like Tintin and Indiana Jones combined except way better. In a just world, she would be a much more popular character and the reported film trilogy would have actually happened.

En duva satt på en gren och funderade på tillvaron (2014)  This movie is delightfully weird and messed up. Nothing more to say here.

The Favourite (2018)  I was honestly expecting to be let down by this movie after all the overwhelming praise but as it turns out, it deserved all of the accolades and possibly more.

Gravity (2013)  This movie was kind of marketed as “realistic sci-fi” and while I can’t say it felt particularly real, the emotional arc sure as hell did.

Inception (2010) The complexity of this film was vastly over-hyped but it’s still the best work I’ve seen by Nolan (though to be fair, I still haven’t seen Dunkirk).  Kreuzweg (2014) The film is composed of just fourteen still shots, representing the Stations of the Cross. That could have come across as really gimmicky but it works because the shots are well staged and the material is just that good. Loveless (2017) This is the bleakest, most depressing movie I think I’ve ever seen.  The Martian (2015)  The best thing about this movie is the way it shows the world coming together just to save this one guy. International cooperation is the future!

Paradies: Liebe (2012)  This is a movie about sex tourism and it is as unpleasant to watch as that sounds. But it’s also incredible. 

Paradies: Hoffnung (2013)  The third in Seidl’s paradise trilogy (I missed the middle part, don’t remember why). Just as messed up as Liebe but mildly more palatable.

Une nouvelle amie (2014)  I saw this movie with my dad, which was kind of awkward, but that doesn’t take away from its beauty. We really do need more stories like this.

Tale of Tales (2015)  I am always here for a fairytale adaptation, particularly ones that stick close to the dark, gruesome, humorous tone of most traditional fairytales. 

Welcome to Norway (2016)  This movie is just really, really funny.

White God (2014) If you’re sensitive to animal abuse then this is not the film for you. The dogs in this movie actually won the Palm Dog Award and it was well deserved. They’re very good dogs! Tom of Finland (2017) How refreshing to see a movie about a historical gay person that isn’t all death and tragedy! It does have some of that, unavoidably, but it’s also a lot of fun and ultimately is a celebration of a very important sub-cultural figure.

Vinterbrødre (2017) I wasn’t expecting a movie set in a mining community to look this beautiful. 

Wonder Woman (2017) The best superhero movie of the decade, despite the slightly messy third act. It’s such an earnest, hopeful movie and unlike most films of the genre, it’s not afraid to take itself seriously or to come across as cheesy. Superheroes are cheesy! That’s one of the best things about them!

Amazing Animation I don’t like animation being singled out from live action as if it’s somehow less, but I wanted to highlight how many excellent animated films were made this decade. 

The Breadwinner (2017) I’ve seen this film’s production company, Cartoon Saloon, been called the Irish version of Disney but Disney has never made anything half this daring. Coco (2017)  The ending made me sob like a little kid. This movie doesn’t get enough credit for being one of only two Pixar films this decade to live up to their early work.

How to Train Your Dragon (2010) The flight scenes in this movie gave me actual vertigo and I loved it.

How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)  The rare sequel that’s actually better than the original! For all the franchises that exist out there just to continue milking that cash cow, it’s nice to see something get continued because the filmmakers had more stories to tell.

Loving Vincent (2017)  This movie has been criticized for a weak plot, to which I say: it’s an animated movie made up of oil paintings! Do you really care about the plot? Sometimes the spectacle is all you need, especially when it’s something that touches you as deeply as Vincent van Gogh’s art does.

Moana (2016)  Moana’s scenes with her grandmother and Te Fiti are up there with some of the most emotionally evocative stuff to come out of Disney studios. It’s a pity the rest of the movie couldn’t quite live up to that.

Rise of the Guardians (2012)  Mostly, this movie just looks incredible. I am also an eternal sucker for Chris Pine, even if his voice sounds weird coming out of a teenager’s mouth.  

Song of the Sea (2014)  This is the most beautiful animated film I’ve ever seen outside of Studio Ghibli’s best, both the look and the feel of it. 

Tangled (2010) I know I sound like an old fogy but this movie would’ve been much better if it had been traditionally animated. Still pretty good!

Toy Story 3 (2010) It’s been nine years since the third Toy Story came out?? Christ, this decade.

Your Name (2016) I really should be watching more anime.

Zootopia (2016) Disney’s best work since Treasure Planet, which is an underrated masterpiece. It’s almost worth the resurgence in furries (jk furries, you’re okay).

This Is Why You Guys Should Be Watching Documentaries Because documentaries are a seriously underrated art form.

Ama-San (2016) This is the kind of cinema vérité filmmaking I live for.

Behind the Curve (2018) The existence of flat earthers remains baffling (well, maybe not that baffling when you look at the rest of our society) but this documentary is excellent.

Dawson City: Frozen Time (2016)  This is a documentary about a cache of lost silent films that were found in the 70s and most of the movie is silent, with information being conveyed through text and images. It’s these kinds of choices that elevate a good documentary beyond just educational programming.

Exodus: Where I Come From Is Disappearing (2016)  Absolutely heart-wrenching. It’s difficult to watch but the issues it discusses shouldn’t be looked away from. 

Foodies (2014) There’s a foodie in this movie who rates his food on looks before he even tastes it and a chef whose signature dish is a dessert called “sex on the beach” which includes a very realistic-looking used condom. I wanted those two to meet but they never did and that is my one criticism of this film.

Free Solo (2018)  I developed a fear of heights after watching this movie.

The Great Green Wall (2019)  I had never heard of the great green wall before seeing this movie. It’s so surreal to get a window into a society where no one is arguing about climate change because they are already undeniably feeling the effects of it. And by strange, I mean incredibly sad and upsetting.

How to Let Go of the World: and Love All the Things Climate Can’t Change (2016)  Speaking of climate change. This movie takes on climate grief and shows why you can’t stop at that, why you need to push past it and keep fighting. I’d argue The Great Green Wall actually does that same thing and better but it’s still a very necessary message.

Into the Inferno (2016)  Werner Herzog is just. The best. Especially his documentaries.

Kismet (2014) This movie examines how art affects people by way of one of the least respected art forms out there (soap operas). I just really love that premise and the execution is even better.

Merchants of Doubt (2014) Honestly fuck every single person making money by hastening our descent towards climate catastrophe. Good movie, though.

My Scientology Movie (2015)  This was the first Louis Theroux movie I saw and it’s a great one to start with. For all they’ve been treated like a joke, Scientologists are actually pretty scary.

The Other Side of Everything (2017)  The personal is the political in this film. What an incredible look at the ways our past shapes our present and future. 

Pervert Park (2014) This movie fucked me up.

The Prison in Twelve Landscapes (2016) The conceit of this film is looking at the US prison system indirectly by keeping the camera outside the actual prisons and off actual prisoners. It works incredibly well, just astounding documentary film making. 

Push (2019)  Just when you thought you couldn’t hate the rental market any more!

Safari (2016) Fuck trophy hunters.

The Silence of Others (2018)  I didn’t even know about the Spanish 1977 Amnesty Law until I saw this movie. Maybe that’s just my own ignorance but I feel it shows how necessary documentaries like these are. 

Tower (2016) I cried like a baby watching this movie. Using rotoscope animation to tell the story of the 1966 shootings a the University of Texas was I think an excellent choice and made for a unique documentary.

Visages villages (2017) Agnès Varda is possibly my favorite director and it hurts to leave this one off the “best” list (call it an unofficial #11). Still not sure I shouldn’t have swapped out one of the actual top ten for it. 

Welcome to Sodom (2018) The world is so fucked up. 

It Stayed With Me Movies that left me reeling and that I couldn’t get out of my head for days after watching (call all of them an unofficial joint #12).

The Act of Killing (2012) Speaking of fucked up! It is absolutely surreal seeing these mass murderers try to justify their actions to the interviewers. “I was just doing my job” is no excuse and trying to use it as one is actually reprehensible. 

Arrival (2016) I didn’t actually see it until this year and I felt it couldn’t possibly live up to the hype but it did! It’s reminiscent of Interstellar in that in this ‘hard’ science fiction story the ultimate solution is based on an emotional revelation but Arrival pulled it off much better. The Congress (2013)  This is basically two movies in one; one is fairly grounded sci-fi and the other is just a straight up acid trip in film form. In any case, Robin Wright is absolutely flawless.

Carol (2015) Cate Blanchett please date me. Grüße aus Fukushima (2016)  I’m always gonna be a sucker for a movie about women connecting and helping each other through trauma. 

High Life (2018) I saw this one knowing nothing about it and ngl it shocked me a bit. The way it incrementally got more and more fucked up made me feel a bit like a frog being slowly boiled alive.  November (2017) The atmosphere this movie creates is unreal. Maybe not the strongest characterization but it balances a feeling of magic and wonder with just utter bleakness and it left me reeling. Paterson (2016) I can’t even fully explain why I loved this movie so much or why it stuck me. Mostly, it’s just so damn cozy.  The Square (2017) I mean, that scene with the ape man was fucked up right?  Tangerine (2015) I don’t think filming on your iPhone is the future of cinema or anything but it does show how accessible filmmaking is slowly becoming. Also, that scene of Alexandra performing Toyland is one of the best musical moments in cinema this decade and that is not up for debate. Team Hurricane (2017) I’ve never seen a movie with an aesthetic like this before (it’s very vaporwave) but this film is about and was mostly shot by a group of actual teenage girls. It’s a little melodramatic in places but at the same time that feels very sincere and the girls all clearly have a lot of talent and a lot to say.  Varda par Agnes (2019) This movie probably wouldn’t have stuck with me so much if Agnès Varda hadn’t died earlier this year. She is a truly unparalleled figure in film history.

The Best According to me, anyway. But I’m right.

Cameraperson (2016) This is a different kind of documentary filmmaking. What it most reminds me of is Beaches of Agnès (no, I’m never done talking about Agnès Varda) but even that is not a perfect comparison. It’s deeply personal while also covering an insane variety of topics.  Embrace of the Serpent (2015) This movie feels like a dream and I mean that in the best way possible. At turns beautiful, brutal, and absolutely baffling. The Florida Project (2017) I’ve seen this movie criticized for glorifying poverty and I can’t discount that opinion. For my part, I thought this movie did an incredible job balancing the world as seen through the eyes of a carefree child enjoying her summer and the dangerous, precarious reality of living in poverty.  Inside Out (2015) When Pixar gets it right, they get it really right. The Love Witch (2016) I just really, really love witches. The best looking live action movie of the decade. The fact that writer/director/editor/producer Anna Biller hasn’t made another film since is an actual crime.  Melancholia (2011) No movie has ever hit me this hard in such a visceral way; I was miserable for days after seeing it. Lars von Trier is an asshole but he knows how to film depression.  Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) Believe the hype, it is actually perfect. And I don’t even like action movies! Moonlight (2016) It’s rare to see a movie this deeply, devastatingly human. The final two shots of the film, paired together, are literally the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in a theater. Kona fer í stríð (2018) The best Icelandic movie that’s been made yet. Halldóra Geirharðsdóttir is a national treasure.  Shoplifters (2018) I mean, who’s expecting a movie called ‘Shoplifters’ to be so devastating? It’s such a painful film but it is also heartwarming and intimate.  Un couteau dans le coeur (2018) This movie is strange and funny and violent and gorgeous. I’ve never had such a good experience at a film festival as I did the two times I went to see this movie.

#well it's done #this was mostly written for an audience of one aka me #but hey this took a while so do check it out if you want

[crossbows-and-moonshine]

How to stay motivated.

Welcome my loves, to the first-ever FanFic Fridays post. 

I’m kicking this one off with something I’ve been asked a lot in my years writing. A lot of people seem to have the same question or problem so I figured it was a good way to start this new series.

I’ve been asked more than a few times how to stay motivated writing a fic, more so when you’re taking requests. Now I’m not talking writer's block here, although some tips do apply. If anyone wants my tips on writer's block, let me know and I’ll cover it another time. But this is purely about when you’re just not motivated with a fic or requests. Either multi chap or one-shots.

Who are you writing for?

The first step is simple. You need to have a real good think about who you’re writing for, because if you're writing for anyone other than yourself and your own enjoyment, let me tell you, its gonna get old real fucking fast.

You have to enjoy what you're writing. That's the only way it will inspire you to write. Don't get me wrong, we do write for the readers too, especially with one-shots that are requested like me. But what I learnt was, I can't sit there and force myself to write something just because somebody wants it. 

I’ll end up staring at a blank document for hours until I painfully churn something out that's a pile of shit. And nobody wants that. I have a billion requests in my ask box that have sat there for ages. It doesn't mean I won't write them, it just means I’ll write them when the inspiration grabs me. 

My best work happens when I’m really into something, when I can't help but keep typing and get it all down.

If your sole motivation for writing is to get likes and follows, you’ll burn yourself out within a blink of an eye. You have to want to write and love the topic you write about for it to work well, if you want to put out good content. Sometimes, likes and reviews are scarce, and if that's the only reason you write, to please others, then you’ll find yourself wanting to give up. Those of us who write for our own enjoyment will continue to write and post because that's not the only reason why we are doing it.

This doesn't mean we don't love when a reader lets us know they enjoyed our work. We fanfic writers love that shit. it lets us know what things are a hit, and who doesn't love it when you spend time making something and people let you know it was awesome? 

The difference is though, even though we enjoy and appreciate it, that isn't our sole motivation to write. We would still write regardless of that and continue to post our work.

If you do write for yourself, once you have completed it and decide to post it, the readers will most likely go nuts for it. It will be clear you poured your soul into the work, and its because you loved it so much. 

If you’re unsure whether you write for yourself or not, here's a little exercise that could help. Write a fic, the amount of chapters is up to you. But don’t post it until it is fully written and complete. With no feedback or likes to keep you going, you’ll have to keep going with it until it's done off your own back. Then you can post it and reap the rewards and you have written it completely for your own enjoyment. This is exactly what I did with Such a Softer Sin, and let me tell you, it was the best thing I ever did.

Doing this first step ensures that you’re more likely to be motivated to write. This will eliminate a lot of the feelings of demotivation that creep up on you.

Niche

Another simple thing is to have a good think about what kind of things within fics you enjoy writing. By this, I mean your little niche in the fandom. For example, I love writing AU’s or things set before the movies or show. When it comes to writing canon, I fucking loathe it. The times I do write canon, I try and do canon divergent to keep it somewhat more interesting for me. Whenever I try to write strictly canon, the motivation gets sucked out of me quicker than me slurping on a milkshake from McDonald’s. And let me tell you, I slurp real fucking fast.

Figure out what kind of things you like writing. Maybe you love canon, maybe you love AU’s or pre-show/movies. The beauty of writing your own fics is the fact you can do whatever the fuck you want with them. Don't force yourself to write something if you don't enjoy that style. 

Pantser or plotter?

Similar to above, figuring out which way you like to write can really help keep you motivated. You could be writing the way you find isn't for you and that's why you’re struggling. A plotter is self-explanatory. It's a writer that plots out the story. Some plotters are intense, planning out every detail and character before they write, others only minor plotting. A pantser is someone who free writes, this is me. Free writing for those who might not now, is writing with no plot. I literally open my document and type randomly, it feeds off itself. One chapter would roll into more inspiration for the next and so on. My muses are in my head and it's like I’m watching a movie in my mind. I just type it out for you all. I really feel like I’m not in control of my fics and half the time, I’m just as shocked as my readers are with what comes out. Or maybe I’m just crazy? 

The point of me telling you this is; When I started, I tried to plot. Oh, how I fucking tried. But it didn't work for me. I lost motivation quickly and I’m a pantser by nature. So more than half the time my chapters would end up in the opposite direction as I planned and then I got stuck, trying to figure out how to get it back on track and I’d just give up. I didn’t even know free writing was a thing. I thought you had to plot things out, that it was the only way to write well. And I was wrong.

Give both a go and see what feels right for you. I’m a pantser for life. I would get the briefest idea for a fic and start typing, the rest comes as I type. Its more fun for me that way. I feel like a reader too, getting the experience of not knowing what's going to happen next. 

There's nothing wrong with being a plotter though, it’s all about personal preference. One is not superior to another. Maybe you’re a super organised person, plotting keeps you on track. Maybe you even enjoy mapping it all out. Just take a moment to try both types and see what you enjoy the most. Then you’ll know what your writing style is and you can go from there. The more you enjoy it, the more motivated you will be and the better your fics will be. Win-win.

Now of course sometimes, you might love a fic. You’re really into it, but then bam, the spark’s gone and you have no idea what the fuck happened. Now you have a half-finished fic and if you’ve already started posting it, people waiting for an update.

Under Pressure

First off, don't ever feel pressured to post an update, even if people are bugging you about it. Like I mentioned before, if you force it out of yourself to please others, you're more than likely going to be unhappy with the result. Taking a break can be a good thing. Take a step back from the fic, maybe even work on another. Having a breather and coming back with fresh eyes can be super useful and there's no shame in needing a break from a fic. 

The exercise above is honestly a really good tool to use anyway. When I started writing multi chaps, I would write a chapter and post it right away. This can give you so much stress and pressure. Whenever I would hit a wall or the motivation went away, I had people asking about updates and I started to get stressed. Then I wouldn't be able to write at all. Now, I tend to either finish the fic, or at least be more than 5 chapters ahead of what I’m posting. This way, even if you do lag behind with writing, you have something to post and it will ease the pressure.

My preference is to finish the fic completely. Then I get to post every day without worry and I’m not playing catch up, trying to write quickly and rushing to get it posted. Now you’re all thinking, ‘But Sarah, aren’t you posting Let The Flames Begin as you go?’ Yes, I am. Why? Because I’m an idiot  :’)

I posted the first chapter. It came to me and I wanted to know if it was worth making into something. Usually, I’d just write it anyway and save it for a rainy day. But I have that many stories on the go, I didn't know if it was worth taking my time with. People liked it and as I started writing it, I fucking fell so in love with the story that now I can't stop writing it. 

I am in front though by around 10 chapters, so I’m not too worried about catching up. To me, that's plenty of chapters ahead to make sure if I do hit a wall, I won't feel pressured or worried about it. All my other fics I’m working on though won’t be posted until they’re complete.

Thinking ahead like this can really ease that pressure and in my opinion, that really helps you write better and stay motivated.

Fall in love again

Sometimes, it might be useful to try and remember what you liked about your fic in the first place. Maybe rewatch the movie or show, even read other peoples fics to get you back in the groove. Read your own fic from the very beginning and pick out the parts you liked best and why you liked them. Maybe the last chapter just ran away with itself and it went into a direction you really didn't expect or like. It happens to me all the time. Sit down and see if there's a way you can work around it and bring it back to the place you wanted it to be, or if all else fails, delete the chapter and rewrite it the way you wished you had in the first place.

Closing requests

Now this one is more specific to one-shot writers who take requests. Don't feel bad if you have to close your requests for a little while to catch up. Feeling overwhelmed can make you lose motivation real fucking quick. I don't know about you guys, but I can't write under pressure. It mounts up and my brain just melts and then I can't write a fucking thing. Close requests, catch up, take a minute to breathe. Sometimes, something as simple as taking the pressure off can be really freeing for your mind and get you back into it.

Write when it feels right

Also, don't feel like you have to write them in the order people sent you. People might not think this is fair but they need to see it from the writers POV. I have some requests that are over a year old, my brain just hasn't been inspired to write them. Yet someone could send me a request today that makes my brain get excited and I have to write it. Sometimes once I’ve got in the swing of it, I end up finishing multiple requests when I write this way. There is no need to try and get to them in order like that. If some don't inspire you, just wait until they do and write another. 

Plot bunnies 4eva

This one applies to both multi chap and one-shot writers and something you guys know I do all the fucking time. If you’re stuck and need a break from one thing, feel free to start another. Am I enabling you to make those plot bunnies grow? Why yes, I am. But there's a reason. 

When I get stuck on a fic, I’ll put it away for a bit and work on another idea I had. This gives me plenty to work on. So whenever I get stuck on something, I just jump to another that's inspiring me. Writing something new can really get you back into writing again and its better than not writing at all. It gets your creative juices flowing and you might find yourself going back to the fic you're stuck on with new ideas.

On the same note, sometimes you might get this super cool idea for the person you’re writing about. And you cram it in your current fic but it’s just not fucking working. Now your story is all weird and you don't like it and it’s making you not want to continue with it. Take that idea and make a new fic with it. Sometimes I get ideas for Daryl and I try them out in my fic, but it just doesn't gel with what’s already going on or the OC in the story. It doesn't make sense to try and stick an idea in there that doesn't fit and feels out of place. But that doesn't mean you have to throw it away. Just use it for another story and see where it leads.

Breaks don't equal quitting

There's nothing wrong with taking a break from writing altogether. If its all gotten too much or you have no motivation at all for anything. Maybe, like me, you have mental health issues and you just need a good breather. That's perfectly fine and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 

Those who have followed me for a while might remember that I went on a hiatus for over a year at one point. My mental health reached an all-time low and I couldn't keep up with requests. I put so much pressure on myself and it made me worse, and in the end, I had to take a step back altogether.

At one point I thought that was it. I thought my love for writing fanfics was over and I was gutted. And then randomly one day, an idea popped into my head. The simplest of thoughts about an OC meeting the boys from Boondock Saints. My idea was just that I wanted a girl to come into McGinty's out of the rain, and that's where she meets the boys. That was it, the smallest of ideas. The rest came to me as I started writing and before I knew it, I couldn't stop. I wrote 39 chapters of that one, Such a Softer Sin, and then I even did a sequel. 

Don't feel like a break means quitting forever or that you’ll never be inspired to write again. After writing that fic, I haven't stopped writing again and I’m more in love with writing than I’ve ever been. Sometimes you just need to recharge your batteries again and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

I hope some of these tips are helpful to you guys. You don't have to listen to me of course, all of this is just my opinion and personal experience. If you have any questions or a problem, feel free to talk to me any way you feel like and I’ll get to it on FanFic Fridays! :)

Much love,

Sarah

#fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fanfiction writer #fanfic woes #fanfic advice #fanfic tips #writer #writing tips #writing advice #fanfic fridays

[kanralovesu]

Writing Tips From the Best Parts of Code Lyoko

Before we delve into the new season of anime, I wanted to return to one of the most nostalgic shows of my childhood: Cody Lyoko! I recently rewatched this French anime with my friend for the second time and together we tore apart some of the magic but when we did there was still a lot left that we found to be objectively really cool writing (more than you’d expect for a periodical show targeting the young side of teenagers). Today I wanted to break down some of the best parts of this series and what those parts can teach us about improving our own work and don’t worry if you’ve never seen Code Lyoko I’ll provide short explanations whether needed to catch you up, but honestly if you’re really bored and watch some light teenage sci-fi this show might be worth a watch! 

Since Code Lyoko takes place partly in a video game world, its no surprise one of its best writing tricks is something that can be especially applied to gameplay writing. Perhaps the most important character in the show is Aelita whom we first meet trapped in the digital world. Every character in the show has a weapon and an ability and from the very beginning her’s is the ability to create land masses to serve as platforms, walls, and even ramps. What first seems like an inconsequential choice later gains significant meeting when at the end of season 2 that it is revealed that she is actually the daughter of Franz Hopper who created this digital world, trapped her in it, and gave her the “Keys to Lyoko”. These Keys serve as an admin password of the world explain why she can create land much like her father created all of Lyoko. Of course this was also foreshadowed by her ability to access towers as discussed later, but what I want to point out is that they didn’t let any part of her character slip by. Every mechanic she has pays service to the plot. 

This is essential in writing story driven games. Sure you can have your player run and gun their way between several scripted cutscenes, but they will be more engaged if they can use the mechanics of the game to interact with and tell the story. Look no further than Brothers a Tale of Two Sons to see how this concept can be brought to its most emotional. I won’t spoil it because at the very least you should look up a lets play to see it play out. I would only do a disservice by trying to explain it. 

In Cody Lyoko, the plot of nearly every episode boils down to this: Xana the evil A.I. within Lyoko has “Activated a Tower” which is a physical structure in the virtual world, and has used to Tower to attack the real world in some way. From season 2 onward, he uses this to possess people taking control of them and giving them enhanced agility, electrical abilities and so on. The Tower must be deactivated by Aelita to save the day. Xana can also use this to create what is called a Polymorphic specter that is essentially just a shape-shifting evil thing that also has powers and fights.

Now Code Lyoko takes that and turns it on its head: Jeremy the resident computer expert decides he can activate a tower as well and he does so to give one of his friends enhanced agility and electrical powers. The mechanic becomes mirrored. This isn’t just a one-off thing either. There are multiple times where Jeremy activates his own tower to produce some kind of real world effect. This all culminates in season 4 where Xana has moved on to new super computers and is creating copies of Lyoko in them. The group decides their method for dealing with these replicas is to activate a Tower in Xana’s duplicate and in doing so create their own Polymorphic specters in the real world near Xana’s computers. Literally every mechanic Xana can use for evil, our team can use for good.

Adding mechanics like this to your world can create extremely engaging moments where the heroes come up with clutch strategies using information we already have. Even if you don’t directly intend this to happen from the beginning, always be thinking in the back of your head that it is a possibility. That ancient magic sword your hero has? What if the villain stole it? That evil magic grimoire the villain has? What if the hero stole it? Even if you don’t ask these questions your audience sure as hell will and I feel like adding some bullshit line like “Only I, the chosen one, can wield this sword!” is a cop out, especially because of just how interesting these plot points can get. 

Code Lyoko is the king of callbacks in my opinion. Random little details always have a chance of cropping up later in the show, most of the time with just a small one-off line. One episode there will be an episode with a Tamagotchi prominently featured and then a whole one season later the characters will mention it again in the vain of “Why would I trust you to look after my dog, don’t you remember what happened to my Tamagotchi!” The first callback I have pictured is the school principle and his love and frustration while playing an online game where you’ve got to sling a penguin’s head onto its body. What you thought was a one-off gag about how he was old and bad at video games was paid off again one whole season later when he opens the game up for a second time after a boring meeting with a student’s parents. The second callback pictured is Yumi’s dad dawning a suit of armor which had an episode dedicated to it nearly two seasons ago when Xana took control of it. 

The thing with these callbacks is none of them are just purely for the sake of callbacks. Each and every one of them builds the characters and adds a much needed sense of progression and consistency to a world portrayed in an episodic series. The callback to the principle playing this game is one of the only bits of characterization he gets as one of the most background characters and it establishes that a very human side to him that gets bored and wants to challenge himself to beat this random pointless game he struggles with. The callback to the armor reinforces how, despite his looks, Yumi’s dad is highly traditional and in touch with his Japanese heritage. These are just a few of the many callback in the series like this. Just off the top of my head I quickly came up with 10.  

Before I leave today I’d like to give honorable mention to the final episode “Echos” which served as this weird episode after the fight had already been won but before the main character were willing to put the events of the series behind them. They struggled with the fact that for 2 years now fighting Xana had become their lives and they didn’t know what they would do without that. This was coupled with short montages of them reminiscing about the past. Not only was this about the character being nostalgic and not wanting to stop, it was also about how the audience had gone through this journey with the characters and would now have to deal with their lives without Code Lyoko. Its actually a breathtaking concept in theory and I wish more shows would do this! 

And of course its nostalgia like that which will get you coming back to series that have well past their expiration date in the public conscious. However, one final lesson to learn from Code Lyoko is that returning to old series can be extremely enlightening and there is always something to learn from even the most obscure piece of media! 

#code lyoko #aelita stones #aelita hopper #jeremy belpois #odd della robbia #ulrich stern #yumi ishiyama #lyoko #lyoko warriors #writing #Good Writing #writing analysis #game writing

[becuzpurple]

It’s About Damn Time! - an Ed & Kate One-Shot

The title of this one-shot is also an extremely appropriate and well-deserved reaction to my S L O W-as-molasses writing.  LOL  But I’m finally done.  YAY!  

As I said, this is a one-shot.  It’s still about Ed and Kate, and it’s still set in the same world as the main story.  But it takes place about 2 ½ years down the line from where the main story currently is.  You will see a 3rd character whom you’ve met before.  You will also see mention made of a new, very significant character, though this person is not important to this chapter, so you won’t actually meet him/her.  Yet.  😊

I hope you like it!

WARNING:  Lossa Smuts

——————————————————————————————-

IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME!

an early Wednesday afternoon

I’ve been running for years.  It gives me discipline and confidence, it’s a great way to relieve stress, and it improves my mental and physical health.  

When I first met Ed, he didn’t exercise regularly.  He’d just come off 5 years of touring, and he was really, really tired.  He was bigger than he is now, but I had no complaints whatsoever.  I liked him big and solid.

After taking a good four or five months to just slog off, he started coming around to the idea that he should probably start taking better care of himself. He says seeing me get up and go to the gym or go for a run made him feel like a slug.  He also says he did it for us, although I never felt that was necessary - he’s always been perfect to me.  But, it was around that time when his perspective began to shift a little bit in regards to a few things.

One of those things was his health.  He told me that he didn’t want to get fat and lazy.  I couldn’t imagine that actually happening at all, but I certainly wasn’t about to discourage him, either.  We began working out together, even though I had to stop running due to some early pregnancy complications.  I still exercised right up until I went into labor - mostly yoga and stationary weight machines.  Ed did those things with me, too, and he also started running.  

He’s now in the best shape of his life.  His body has changed over the last couple of years.  That sweet, soft belly that wouldn’t ever completely go away actually went almost completely away (RIP, belly - I kind of loved you).  He has defined abs.  He’s gained lean muscle-mass.  He’s noticeably stronger (and he was strong before!).  His endurance is through-the-roof.  

We run together now when he’s home, often with Daisy in the jogging stroller. On this particular day, though, she’d napped a little early, so I stayed in with her while Ed went out for his run.  Nathan and Lucy were at school.

It was early-afternoon in mid-fall, and it rained the night before.  It was cold, and the sun wasn’t out, so there was a dreary cast to everything - in other words, typical November weather.  It was good napping weather, and Daisy was taking full advantage of that in her new “big girl” toddler bed.  She loved it so much that she had a renewed interest in naps and bedtime.                              

🙏🏻 Thank-you Jesus🙏🏻

I sat down at the kitchen counter with a fresh cup of coffee and my laptop, and opened up my emails, which was my first mistake.  I should have started working on the new research project I’d been invited to participate in.  I’d been asked to contribute to a collection of biographical sketches for a Time magazine feature called “Women and the Myth of the American West”.  I was really excited about it, and needed to begin researching my subject - Elena Gallegos, who, in 1712, widowed and aged 32, became the sole owner of a land grant that included about 4/5 of present-day Albuquerque, NM.  It was willed to her NOT from her deceased husband, but from another man!

But I digress.  Instead of gathering facts about Elena, I started reading through my unopened emails.  

My friend Dante had lately made a habit of emailing video links to me - links to videos of Ed.  Because he’s completely obnoxious!  I don’t make a habit of watching Ed videos.  I admit that right after we met I promptly fell right down that rabbit hole, but it honestly only lasted a couple of days, and I haven’t really looked at any more since then.

Dante periodically fangirls pretty hard over Ed, and it’s really hilarious since he knows him, now.  He’s slightly embarrassed yet completely unapologetic about it.  

So, he’d evidently just discovered Ed’s BRIT’s performance from 2015 - Bloodstream.  That’s what the link was to in the email he’d sent me.  He was raving about it - he even noted a minute-mark within the performance that he thought I’d particularly enjoy.  So then I made my second mistake:  I clicked on the link and I watched it.  I’d somehow never seen it before.

This is such a sexy song.  Oh, he looks so good in black…those are really red shoes.  That vein on his neck and wow he sounds so good.  He’s in such a different place when he’s performs - like he’s a completely different person. Jesus he’s oozing confidence.  And sex.  He’s oozing sex?!  Whatever, it’s true.  Why is that little backward step so hot???  And why is it suddenly freaking hot as hell in here?  The RASP.  Fuck me, that rasp...OK, here comes the part Dante thinks I’ll like…HOLY SHIT.  What’s he thinking about when he spanks his guitar like that?  It can’t actually be the song, right?  I know I’m not thinking about the song.  GOD, I’M BAD.  Oh god more rasp and more neck veins and I’m…Jesus help me, my blood is rushing to PLACES, no joke…I just…FUCK...

When the hell will he be home?

I glanced at the clock and saw that he’d be gone for at least another 10 minutes or so - plenty of time to rewatch the good parts…a few times.  

Which is what I was still doing several minutes later when I heard him open the door.  I stopped the video just as he came in through the back entrance off the kitchen, drenched in sweat and still breathing hard.  His eyes found mine and he nodded in greeting, leaning on the door frame as he caught his breath.

“Hey.”  He noted my setup.  “Getting some work done?”

“Hi.”  My voice was soft.  I couldn’t tear my eyes from him.  “No, I...got distracted.”

I closed the laptop, got up from my chair, and made my way over to him, still in the doorway.  He was eying me curiously, a small grin forming.

“Distracted by what?”

I took hold of his waist and pulled him closer to me.

“Email,” I answered right before I kissed him…with a little bit of tongue.

He readily reciprocated, delving into my mouth with the softest, most slippery of caresses.  He gently pulled my bottom lip with his teeth before leaving one last, chaste kiss. Then he pulled back just far enough to let his eyes focus on mine.  

“Mmmm, more…” I pulled his torso right into mine, and basked in how drenched with sweat he was.

I slid a hand up the back of his neck through those wet curls and guided his face back down to me.

His mouth opened immediately and I took full advantage, holding him to me as my tongue eagerly explored.  There was a saltiness to the taste of him, and a muffled moan escaped my mouth at the thought of being wrapped up in this sexy, sweaty, beautiful man.

His hands soon moved to my hips, starting to slide to my backside, but then he paused and kept them fastened where they were, and he again pulled his lips away from mine.

He returned my soft, huff of frustration with a small smirk and a knowing look.

“I’m a sweaty mess right now.”

I combed my fingers through the tufts of his damp hair as I softly replied. “Baby, that’s so not a bad thing.”  

Just then I noticed a vein in his neck slightly pulse and I was reminded of what got me in this state to begin with.  I grinned, and then my lips were right there. God, I wanted to inhale him, breathe him, taste him, feel him - I needed it.  I felt the soft rush of his breath on my cheek as he let his head fall to the side.  I inhaled his sharpened, earthy scent as I kissed and nipped at his salty, sticky skin from his collarbone up to his ear.  

I sucked and tugged on his earlobe just a little bit before pulling away.  He righted his head and teased my nose with the tip of his, making me smile.

His hands found their way back to my bottom, and, gripping me securely, he pulled me in right up against his groin.  “This what you wanted?”

His voice was suddenly so serious, and his cock was already getting hard.  I felt him through my thin cotton pants and his shorts, and I was so fucking turned on, and really, really glad that he seemed to be, too.

I nodded.

He was slick with sweat - everywhere.  I have no idea why that made ME so wet, but, my god, did it.  

I nudged my hips up into his, and we began rubbing against one another, slow and deliberate, both of us still fully clothed.

What the hell has gotten into me?  Fucking Bloodstream…

He leaned back on the door and positioned his knee between my thighs.  I leaned into him, and we rocked into each other, slowly building up, and the friction became so intense I felt flutters in my belly. I brought my hand to the obvious bulge at the front of his running shorts, and started stroking him in time with our thrusting.  

Our mouths came at each other hard, and for a few seconds there was a frenzy of slippery tongues and wet lips sliding over each other.  We were desperate mouths and rough hands and stifled gasps and sticky-wet bodies.

We broke away and, with his hands at my waist, he urgently backed me into the kitchen, to the large, built-in island.  He was about to lift me up on it, but then stopped and looked at me uncertainly.

“Daisy?”

“Asleep,” I assured him.

We stared at each other for another second or two before we came together again, lips fusing, tongues thrashing, hands fumbling, bodies converging.  He had my pants down before I even realized his hands were on me.  I quickly kicked them all the way off, but I was still wearing my panties.    

I shoved his shorts and underwear down to his knees and locked my legs around his waist just as he pressed himself up against my center.  

Somehow during all of this he sat me up on the very edge of the island.

His brow ruffled slightly when he noticed that I still had my panties on, but I hastily pulled them to the side, out of his way.  We shared a brief smirk just before he took hold of himself and slammed into me.  There was no point in checking my readiness.  I’d already made that very clear to him.

I was caught up in the sight of him - his eyes were blown wide and lips slightly parted, he was hot and covered in sweat and soaking wet, and his hand was wrapped around his dick as he aligned himself with me.  He was all confidence and desire - from the intent etched on his face, to the forward roll of his hips, to the well-practiced way he held his beautiful, hard cock in his hand just before he guided it into me.

He is a lot to take in at once.  The sting (there’s always a sting) was sharp but short-lived, and was followed by that exquisite sense of fullness that still gets me every time.  

My balance on the counter was questionable, so I kept a hand back to anchor myself.  My other hand gripped his shoulder.  He held my hips tight as he fucked into me, full-force, balls deep on every thrust, so hard I was groaning in time with the short, soft grunts he made on each exhalation.  By then we were both covered in sweat.

“Fuck.  I love this…”  I thought it was just in my head but I apparently said it out loud.  He didn’t answer me, but did raise an eyebrow and grinned while he continued fucking into me.  He watched my eyes fall shut and my head fall back, and then I felt his lips and tongue on my bared neck.

He felt so good, and the spontaneity of it made it that much better.  It’s hard to be spontaneous when you have a toddler and two tweens in the house - and when Ed is on the road as often as he is.  He comes home as often as possible, and I’ve occasionally joined him for a weekend here-and-there when I could manage it, but Daisy is usually with me, and those opportunities are few and far-between, anyway.  So even though this was an unplanned quickie, it was much-needed.

There was one other thing I wanted though, thanks to that damn video.  But since he’s not a mind-reader, I was going to have to ask for it.

Quickly, before I could lose my nerve, I pressed my lips next to his ear and whispered, “Spank me.”

He hadn’t expected that, judging by the look on his face.  But I saw excitement there, too - he loves it just as much as I do.

”Yeah?  You been bad?”

He’d been gripping my hips the whole time, and now started working his fingers over the outermost contours of my ass cheeks.  He didn’t stop slamming into me over and over, and I took a sharp breath as another thrust hit me just right.    

Eyes boring into mine, he slammed HARD into me one more time, pushing, pushing, just keeping himself buried so deep in me.  His eyes zeroed-in on my mouth and he moved in so close to my face that I thought he was going to kiss me.  But, no.  He brushed his lips against the corner of mine and, sounding absolutely cocksure, whispered, “Hope you’re ready.”

In one fell swoop he pulled out, and before I could even register that, he lowered me to the floor and spun me around, yanking my panties down.  Before they even fell to my knees he was balls-deep again.

Oh, god.

He kept one hand firm between my shoulder blades and the other spread out over one of my ass cheeks as he fucked into me and whispered in my ear.  

“Have you been bad?”

Jesus…

Everything had escalated so quickly and I was wrecked enough already that I couldn’t properly put words together.  So I just sort of grunted in acknowledgement.

His hand still stroked my bottom, although somewhat erratically, probably due to his busy thrusting.  

“Such a pretty bum.”

His voice was so soft, and he sounded so controlled, although his movements betrayed that impression.  I imagined his eyes glued to my backside.  

“Should I make it pink, then?”

Fuck…Yes?!

I meant to answer him - I really did.  But the the best I could manage was a muffled, incoherent moan.

“What’s that?  Can’t hear you.”  

I took a breath before gasping out a soft, “Please?”

I felt him smile against the back of my neck as he murmured, “There’s my dirty girl,” as he drove into me again.

It felt dirty, what we were doing.  We were fucking in our kitchen in the middle of the day.  He had me bent over the island, both of us still half-dressed.  He was a sweating mess from his run, and I was too by that point.  The sounds coming from both of us were indecent (although muffled, since the baby’s room was just right up the stairs). Everything felt wet and slick, and hard and rough, and hot as hell.  

I was leaning on my elbows, hands splayed flat on the countertop.  I looked over my shoulder and saw him staring down at my bottom.  I’m sure he also had a view of himself repeatedly slamming into me.  In any case, he seemed enthralled by what he saw.

He thrusted hard again.  And again.  

I turned my head to face forward again, my breath rushing out, gasping on each stroke.  He filled me continuously, hitting my furthest walls, steady and unyielding.  The flutters in my belly were spreading.  I felt like I was lighting up slowly.  I went up on my tiptoes and arched my back just a little bit more, forcing my bottom further out, needing more, asking for more.  It was such a good, good feeling - being fucked so good like that.

He unexpectedly pulled out, quickly hooked his right hand below my thigh and lifted it up so my knee came just above the countertop.

“Put your leg up here.”

I did so, and then he took hold of my waist and slammed right back in.  The angle was different so the bumping of his cock inside me was more intense.  He was reaching even deeper.

His right hand was back on my bottom, fingers pit-patting in subtle patterns.  He brought his left hand around to my front, his fingertips swirling lazily over my most sensitive parts.

My mind drifted away, lost again in the sensations. My body was thrumming - I could feel it buzzing from my belly out to my limbs, my fingers, my toes.  I was so consumed in the moment that when that first smack came I was stunned.

He had just pulled back, with the head of his cock barely touching me, and lightly tapped his fingers over my clit a few times.  I heard it before I felt it - a resounding slap that snapped me out of my reverie.  I felt the sting of his hand just as he slammed back inside me, hitting my front wall with such force that I grunted at the impact.

And god, it hurt - it really hurt.  But the pain was only secondary.  Much more important than the pain, and the reason I love it so much…it makes me feel so incredibly close to him.  I know that sounds crazy…like, how on earth would Ed spanking me cause me to feel closer to him?  But I completely trust him, so I allowed him to be in a position of control over me within that situation.  I knew I would feel some pain, but I also knew he would never, ever actually hurt me. For us…unspoken promises accompany acts like this - absolute love and trust among them.

I sucked my lips into my mouth, hoping that would keep me from releasing the wail that was welling up inside, threatening to escape.  Instead, my soft, mewling whimpers mingled with his hard, gaspy breaths.  I was completely lost in it again.

“Please...” I gasped, pushing my bottom out as far as I could, trying to get more of him.  

“Please what, baby…what do you want?”  He breathed in my ear between each thrust.

“More…everything…”

I’m sure I wasn’t making much sense at all, but it was the best I could do at the time.  I wanted him deeper - so fucking deep in me, and I wanted him to make my bottom look sunburned and make it hurt and feel so damn good that I’d lose any remaining sense of reality.

He knew.  He knew what I wanted, what I needed.  And he wanted it, too.

He was attentive and carefully turned each cheek a lovely shade of rose pink - like a deep blush.  Never while he was inside me - he only filled me immediately after a spank.  That way I could feel the sharp sting at the same time as something truly pleasurable, and that combination is fucking electrifying.

I was so warm everywhere - we both were.  But the heat emanating from my bottom was different - like a deep, low, slow-spreading burn.  It, along with the smoldering tremors threatening to go off throughout my body finally, finally, started to push me over.  Just when I could tell that the end was near, he opened his mouth and shattered me to pieces.

“Baby, your arse is so fuckin’ pretty…so pink…just like your pretty pussy…”

I began clenching everywhere, including around him.  My legs and my hips tensed, and if he hadn’t already had me pinned up against the island I would have gone down.

“You almost there…gonna come, sweet girl?”

I nodded, but have no idea if he saw it or not.  Then everything went soft for a second, my ears buzzed, my entire body pulsed.  The ache in me spread everywhere, and then a terrific whoosh of warmth and comfort consumed me.  I was swept up and fallen apart.  He’d completely taken me Somewhere Else.  It was just what I needed and absolutely perfect. 

He finished just after me.  His hips were a flurry of movement as they rocketed into me a last few times.  Then his body tensed, as mine had, and he breathed out a series of short, not-so-quiet gasps as he came.

---

“What.  The fuck.  Was that?”  

We were on the floor against the base of the island, still half-naked and legs tangled together.  My head was buried in the crook of his neck.  His arms were around me. He left copious short, soft kisses all over the side of my head and face.

I glanced from the corner of my eye at him, a tiny, somewhat awkward grin plastered on my face.  He looked immensely pleased.

I didn’t answer him.

“I’m not complaining at all.  But really…what got into you?”

“Umm…you?” I giggled.  I was not about to tell him that a freaking 4 year-old video of him got me so worked up that I literally begged him to spank me.  In the middle of the day.  In the kitchen. Nope.  Wasn’t going to happen.

��Ha-ha.”  He smiled and took my hand.  “Damn, woman.  I thought my workout was the run but you gave me another one.”

“Ha,” I grinned.  I got one, too.”  

I looked down at the both of us - what a sight.  His shorts and underwear were around his ankles, but he still wore his t-shirt and shoes.   My pants were flung across the floor, my panties were around one ankle, and my shirt and bra were askew.  We were both sweaty messes.

Glancing at the wall clock, I sighed.  “We should shower.  Daisy will be up in a bit.”

He nodded and puffed out a noisy breath, stood, and pulled his shorts back up.  I remained sitting on the floor watching him until he offered his hand to help me up.  He grabbed my pants up off the floor as I kicked my panties off from around my ankle.  Because what was the point, really, right?  

We walked together to the shower, cleaned ourselves up (and then the kitchen, too - yikes), and no one was the wiser.

——————————–

Saturday Evening, 10 Days Later

Dante was visiting, and he, Ed and I were just finishing up a late dinner that he’d picked up on the way over.  Daisy was down for the night, and both Lucy and Nate were at a friend’s birthday party.  We hadn’t seen Dante in a while - several months, actually.  So when he called that morning, suddenly freed-up from plans with his partner Aaron, who was called out-of-town for work last minute, we all jumped at the chance to finally catch-up.

I’d just finished clearing the table of our dishes, and Ed was still rinsing and putting them in dishwasher.  Dante was making our drinks.  I took my seat at the dining room table while the guys were chatting and finishing up in the kitchen.

Those two adore each other.  They’d immediately bonded upon first meeting a few years ago, and it made me so happy.  Dante is probably my oldest, and one of my dearest friends, and I love that he and Ed get on so well.  Both of them were in a mood that evening, though.  I had no chance of getting out unscathed.

They came back to their seats carrying tequila shots with lime wedges for all of us.  I’d already brought out some snacks for us to nibble on.

“It’s really good to see you, D.  It’s been too long.”  I put a few homemade oatmeal raisin cookies on a small plate and slid it in front of him as I spoke.  Ed nodded in agreement.

“I’m just here for the cookies.”  He grinned at me and then turned to Ed.  “You know Katie used to bake cookies for me in high school?”

“Yeah?  Were they any good?”

“Hey?!”  I shot him a look.  He just grinned and popped a whole cookie in his mouth.

“Amazing.  That’s when I decided to keep her.”  He winked at me.

“I did, didn’t I?  I’d forgotten all about that.”

Ed downed his shot and added, smirking, “Yeah.  I’m totally here just for her cookies, too.”

While the two of them chortled over their silly innuendos, I bit back a grin and shook my head.  You can’t help but love ‘em.

“Sooo, you never acknowledged my last email, Kit-Kat,” Dante chided me.

“Oh, I didn’t?  What was- OH.”  It was the link to the Bloodstream performance.  I could feel my face flushing as I recalled the aftermath from viewing it.

Shit…

Both Ed and Dante were looking at me oddly.  Ed clearly didn’t know a thing about any of it, but he definitely noticed my red face.  Dante seemed to be working out that there was some sort of story - he had a dangerous glint in his eye, and he started laughing.

I just stared forward blankly and took a huge bite of cookie so I wouldn’t have to talk.

“What?  What was in the email?”  Ed looked between Dante and me, not sure who might answer him.

“You know I’m a huge fan, right?  Like, major fangirl?  I’m not ashamed to admit it.  I mean…LOOK at you!”  Dante was talking with his arms by that point, as any decent, excited Sicilian would.

Ed shrugged and smiled.  None of this was news to him.

I did nothing except pray to disappear.  I had a feeling this was going to get epically embarrassing soon.

“Well, you probably know that I occasionally send our darling Katie-Kat links to…videos that I…just happen to come across.  Of you.  I figure she might enjoy them as much as - or more - than I do.  It amuses me to no end.”

“Oh, god,” I whispered to no one in particular.

“Right, yeah, she’s mentioned that.  I’m down with it.  So, it was a video of me?”

Dante nodded, sucking on the lime wedge, and then slammed down his shot of tequila.

Ed gave me a bemused look.  “What was it?”

“Ohhhhh… Umm, it was when you did Bloodstream at the BRIT’s a few years ago?”  I didn’t know where to look, so I studied my still-full shot glass.

“Oh, good, you did see it, then.  What did you think, dear?”

I glanced up at Dante then, and my very evil friend was waggling his thick, dark eyebrows at me, knowing full-well that the video must have had some sort of effect on me to bring about this kind of reaction at the mention of it.

“Yeah, what did you think, dear?”  Ed was getting a little bit animated, too, or maybe buzzed.  He was grinning wildly and wagging his head around at me. He must have realized that something good was about to go down.

I looked from one to the other and saw that they both watched me expectantly. Deciding it was a good time for some liquid courage, I sucked hard on my lime and slammed down my shot.

I looked at Ed, smiled, and answered his question.  “I thought it was Sexy.  As.  Hell.  Dear.”

“THANK-YOU, yes!  Yes he was!”  Dante then turned from me to Ed, arms waving again.  “Yes you were!  It’s my favorite video of you, you…gorgeous creature!”  

Dante is naturally very hyper and enthusiastic, but Tipsy Dante is a whole ‘nother story.  His tequila-laced exuberance was contagious, and even I started giggling by then.  “D…you have a favorite Ed video??”

“YAHHHH?!!”

Ed was laughing and looking smug.  He nodded toward Dante.  “Thanks, man!” Glancing down at our empty drinks, he stared for a few seconds and then stood up.  “Be right back.”

He retrieved the bottle of tequila from the kitchen where Dante had left it and refilled each of our shot glasses.

OK.  Maybe I’m in the clear…

“Thank-you, sir.  Salute!”  Dante raised his drink up for a toast.  

We clinked our glasses together and drank up.  I was feeling warm and mellow and relaxed by then, and that turned out to be a problem.  I‘d let my guard down.

“I’m sure we agree on what the best part was, do we not, Katie-Katie?”

“The best part of what?”  I had no idea what he meant.  God, if I had I would have deflected immediately.  But no.  I invited him to continue.  Because tequila.

“The video!  I even noted the time for you, darling.”  The fucker actually started drumming on the tabletop as he grinned wickedly at me.

Fuck.

“What the fuck are you talking about, mate?  Noted the time of what?”

Ed was being adorably clueless.  Dante was being a mischievous bastard.  I was being that girl who was pouring another shot and slamming it immediately.

“I’m just saying…I cannot be the only one who enjoys seeing a good-looking man spanking his… instrument!”

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing at that, but I blushed furiously at the same time.  Dante was wearing a smug “sorrynotsorry” sort of expression, while Ed laughed almost as hard as I did.  Ed glanced at me then and saw my burning cheeks.  And I saw it happen - realization hit him right at that moment.  He stopped laughing almost abruptly, and then grinned so evilly at me it rivaled a Dante Smirk of Doom.

“Hold on, hold on!  When did you send her that email, Dante?”

Wow.  I’m so fucked it’s funny.

“I don’t know…week?  Week-and-a-half ago?”

There was a pause, just a beat of silence while Ed took that detail in.  And then…

“Oiiiiiiiiii!  That day!  After my run!  You were all wantin’ it-”  He was excitedly and emphatically smacking the table.  How ironic.

“Wait, WAIT, WAIT.  WHAT?  Katie Bear?!!  My cute little Katie Bug?  What exactly did you want?”

Now, I was plenty embarrassed, but I wasn’t completely flipping out or anything like that.  I know Dante has a bit of a freaky streak, himself - it’s been discussed before.  Spanking is actually pretty tame compared to some of the things he’s told me.  I was actually more flustered over Ed figuring out that watching a video of him is what got me so worked up that day.

But I figured there was no stopping this train, and since we were all three sheets to the wind already, anyway, I decided to just go for it.  I took a breath and (figuratively) jumped.

“What do you think I wanted, D?”  I gave him a playful wink and grin, and began drumming on the table, myself.

The noise that erupted from that man could have waked the dead.  It was a shriek like no shriek I’ve heard before.  And that’s saying a lot, since I’ve known Dante and his penchant for drama for about 25 years - I’d heard LOTS of Dante’s shrieking.

Ed’s and my immediate reaction was to shush him since Daisy was asleep just upstairs, but our shushes almost instantly turned into full-out belly laughs. Dante in Complete Theatrical Mode was a sight to see.  He did eventually tone it down a little bit, and between his residual hoots and sputters, he squawked out a few barely-coherent things.

Using wildly gesticulating arms to emphasize his words, he finally croaked out at me, “My puppy!  My sweet, innocent Katie-Boo!”

He then turned to Ed, trying so hard not to lose it completely.  “YOU, young man, have corrupted my darling Kit-Kat!  And I have one thing to say about that!”  He comically waved his finger in Ed’s face while both Ed and I laughed so hard we had tears running down our cheeks.

“It’s.  About.  Damn.  Time!”

——————————————————————————————-

I’d like to thank @ownerandwriterofedsnnnnggghhhh for her patience with me and my insecure ramblings about my writings, as well as her time spent editing/proofing/opinion-giving!  I also want to thank @edchristophersheeran for letting me use her words for the very last line and the title of this piece.  Y’all are the best!

As always, feedback is very much encouraged.  Click “like” or reblog, or send me an Ask, or do any combination of these things!  But it’s literally the ONLY way I know if anyone is even reading my work, let alone enjoying it.  So please leave me some, ok?  :-)

#ed sheeran #ed sheeran fanfic #ed sheeran mature fanfic #becausepurple #becuzpurple #one-shot #ed sheeran love story #Ed&Katelovestory #surprise! #fucking Bloodstream #spanky spanky #Dante! #Elena Gallegos story all true #she was my 7 x's great-aunt #ed sheeran smut

[hawkland]

for the in depth fandom questions: svu

@adarafaelbarbas also asked for my SVU thoughts, so here you both go! 

And it got long, so I’m putting it all behind cut….

Top 5 favourite characters: Top 2 are no surprise to anyone: John Munch & Fin Tutuola of course. After that? At the moment I’d probably have to say Casey Novak, George Huang, and Don Cragen. But that can vary a bit depending on which episodes/seasons I’ve been watching recently.

Other characters you like: Hmm, well, I’d say I “like” most of the regulars through the years, or else I wouldn’t be a fan in the first place, would I? If I had to pick say five more to round out my top 10, though, I’d probably go with Melinda Warner, Alex Cabot, Olivia Benson of the early seasons, Nick Amaro, and Rafael Barba. 

Least favourite characters:  Chester Lake, any of the ever-changing ADAs from seasons 10-12, Dale Stuckey (you bastard you killed O’Halloran!), Elliot Stabler from about season 6 onward, Olivia Benson from at least season 16 onward (though she started annoying me at times far before that, especially in her attitude toward Rollins and Amaro in Season 13).

Otps: Munch/Fin, of course, before any others! I also ship Cabenson pretty hard; it was probably my first ship when I was watching the show originally. 

Notps: Eeeeeh, I always sort of tread lightly around declaring NOTPs because there are a lot of ships I don’t particularly care for, but my reasons can be weird/personal and I don’t like stirring up wank talking about them or the reasons why. But I will say that I definitely never liked E/O as a romantic ship, only as friends. And I have a personal squick for shipping Fin with anyone but Munch because I just want them to be together (and yet I’ll ship Munch with pretty much anyone else, though maybe not as an endgame ship, so I’m kind of a hypocrite that way? IDK…) I didn’t care for Tuckson, and Barisi…I just honestly don’t really see it, and while I’ve tried reading it in fic I’ve rarely found a story that convinced me or felt in character to my mind.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Favourite friendships: Munch/Cragen, Fin/Amanda, Munch/Amaro, Munch/Benson, Bensler (early seasons before it all got fucked up)

Favourite family: I guess I’ll say Fin, because as messed-up as it may be, I do enjoy the episodes featuring Ken & I love the idea of Fin becoming a grandfather. I also really really want Ken & Alejandro to be together and be happy!

Favourite episodes: With so many seasons it’s hard to narrow it down to even a top 10. But some of the ones I will always rewatch when they’re on include Remorse, Nocturne, Legacy, Manhunt, Countdown, Denial, Careless, Painless, Haunted, Scavenger, Parts, Raw, Screwed, Alternate, Cold, Authority, Zebras, Anchor… ie, most of the very Fin and/or Munch-centric ones.

Favourite season/book/movie: Seasons 2 and 5 are my favorites—2 for the way the team really came together and so many of the cases/episodes featured ALL of the detectives working as a unit. 5 for some of the most interesting cases and the whole loss of Alex/introduction of Casey storyline.

Favourite quotes: Ah, so many but a few off the top of my head:

“If you don’t question authority, you lose your humanity.”

“I just know stuff.”

“That’s my Jew.”

“Once god gives you a uterus, then I’ll listen to your sermon.”

“Even a turd can float.”

Best musical moment: The final montage in Screwed set to Mark Isham’s “Sense of Touch”. The music is perfect and the ending of that episode always gets me emotional.

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: How do I even narrow it down?!?! Munch and Fin sharing a motel room in Manhunt, maybe, and finally having a bit of a heart-to-heart. That or when Ken has dinner with John to introduce Alejandro because I still insist there is no possible heterosexual context to that scene whatsoever.

When it really disappointed you: Oh so so many times but, probably one of the biggest disappointments for me was last year, all the hype about “Munch returns” when he ended up having all of about 2 minutes screen time—and really didn’t get to have any good interactions with anyone other than Benson & Noah.

Saddest moment: Munch’s retirement. You know, I still cannot watch that episode in its entirety? I’m not ready for the emotional gut-punch.

Most well done character death: Mmm…I might go with Sonya Paxton on that, because it was emotional and sad and yet she also was able to at least, in her death, provide evidence to catch her (and others) killer. Unlike Sister Peg and O’Halloran’s deaths which just felt cheap and unnecessary…and I won’t even go into how I feel about how they killed Mike Dodds (that’s why @ladyzootie and I are working on a story to set THAT right!)

Favourite guest star: Robin Williams in Authority, though I also loved Jeremy Irons, especially in his second appearance in Totem. As much as I love Huang, I would have enjoyed seeing more of Dr. Jackson as well; Irons was perfect in that role and brought a lot to the show with his character.

Favourite cast member:  Don’t make me choose between the Belz and Ice-T! I love them both too much to pick a favorite.

Character you wish was still alive: Mike. Dodds.

One thing you hope really happens: That the show either brings on a new full-time detective for the unit or starts using more supporting characters again: show the detectives going to the morgue, working with TARU, working with a psychiatrist instead of having Benson diagnosing and doing everything herself. But, I’m not holding out great hope for that.

Most shocking twist: Shocking in a not-good way: Tuckson. Sorry, I never bought it, I don’t see all this so-called evidence that the writers were “setting it up” for seasons before it happened. Total WTF??!?! for me.

When did you start watching/reading?: I actually vividly remember watching the pilot episode when it first aired in 1999. I’ve pretty much followed it on and off since then, watching regularly at least on thru Season 9 or so and I think that’s about when I lost at least some of my interest. But that said, I was mostly a casual fan until about 2 years ago when I really fell hard into it in a “fannish” way, after rewatching old episodes in reruns.

Best animal/creature: THE MONKEY IN THE BASKETBALL

Favourite location: The original squad room.

Trope you wish they would stop using: SAINT BENSON IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN DO EVERYTHING IN THE SQUAD. ENOUGH ALREADY.

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: Errrr…hmm. These days I can’t think of anything it does better than other shows besides bore and/or annoy me, sorry. In the earlier seasons I’d say it was unique in the way it tackled messy, painful, and often controversial issues of sexuality and “sexually based offenses”. It wasn’t always perfectly PC but it did a good job of presenting complexity and showcasing how societal ideas were changing and being challenged—without just feeling like a soapbox.

Funniest moments: All of Wildlife is pretty hysterically bad but in an entertaining way. In fact Mr. Hawkland just saw it for the first time this weekend and was laughing hysterically at some of the lines in it. But also Countdown, for having such a dark plot, is one of my favorites for all of the great one-liners and funny scenes ( “I’m not tipping all of you”, Munch and the empty coffee can, etc.)

Couple you would like to see: Ha ha ha ha, well of course Munch & Fin, but I know that will never happen. And honestly, even if it did I wouldn’t want it to be acknowledged as canon until the very last episode. Because the writers would surely fuck it up otherwise the way they do every other romance on this show. Otherwise I do kind of like Rollisi, not in an OMG I LOVE THEM sort of way but I do see potential for chemistry, and that Carisi could be a good kind of stabilizing influence on her with her crazy family life. But, would she in turn be good for him? That I’m not so sure about.

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: I would SO love to see more of Bayard Ellis. His character was great and such a good foil to Benson. I’d love to see Andre Braugher return to the role.

Favourite outfit: Any of Fin’s suits in season 2.

Favourite item: Fin having a picture of Spartacus and Maximus (Ice’s dogs) on his desk (which I never noticed until @sammael77 caught it!)

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: A few fan-produced t-shirts, magnets and other odds and ends, my MunchFin iPhone case, and seasons 1-15 on DVD

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: My “squad goals” would be the team from seasons 5-8: Munch, Fin, Benson, Stabler, Cragen, Novak, Warner, Huang. That’s my all-time favorite team. 

Most boring plotline: Anything involving the Stabler family.

Most laughably bad moment: “Redchannit”

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: Eh, I think the few times they’ve done as much haven’t been very good. I know I really disliked the way they repurposed season 1 footage for Manhattan Vigil to change what those scenes were initially about.

Most layered character: All right so it’s maybe my bias talking, but Munch! Especially because I “cheat” and include all of his Homicide characterization too. But honestly…Munch really is a lot more than a sarcastic conspiracy theorist. I think where I really love the complexities of his character coming through are his struggles with issues like suicide and assisted suicide, which came through not just in Painless but also Mercy. On one hand he’s such a strong personal choice advocate and on the other, he knows first-hand how difficult it is for family members when a loved one commits suicide. And what about protecting those who are not being given the choice to end their life or live?

But also, I love that he’s one of the few (main) characters the show ever allowed to remain childfree, yet he was also shown to be incredibly caring and good with children (illustrating that not all childfree people hate or are bad with kids; they just know they aren’t meant to raise one full-time.) He has complicated feelings about women, sometimes (especially early on) seeming incredibly bitter and cynical but deep down he is a lonely romantic. 

Most one dimensional character: Honestly, at this point, St. Benson the Holy Redeemer of All Rape Victims. 

Scariest moment: Hmmm…I’m having a hard time pinpointing this or narrowing it down to a single “scariest” scene. In general I get freaked out any time they show a serial killer’s “work den”, like in Manhunt or Signature. Because thinking about what those victims had to go through before being killed just makes me really feel sick to my stomach and horrified.

Grossest moment: Hyena vomit

Best looking male: Dammit, don’t make me pick between Munch or Fin because I can’t.

Best looking female: Casey Novak

Who you’re crushing on (if any): Of the current cast, only Fin, who just seems to be getting hotter with every passing year. Of all years, of course Munch, but I also crush on Casey and early season baby!butch Benson. 

Favourite cast moment: I think I’ll just say all of the episode Countdown, because to me that was ensemble perfection.

Favourite transportation: Eh, doesn’t really seem to apply here to this canon, does it?

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): Still gonna go with the end of Screwed, because I love that final scene with Fin, Ken and Darius on the courtroom steps.

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: 

Hahahahahahahah so many so many….

Continuity/plot error: It still bugs the crap out of me (especially as a fic writer who is anal about canon facts) that in Season 2 they messed with Munch’s background from Homicide, and tried to make it sound like he grew up in New York. THAT IS WRONG WRONG WRONG. I’m not going to throw away the family/childhood details we got in Homicide just because the SVU writers were lazy. And it really pains me because it comes up in two of my otherwise favorite episodes (Legacy and Manhunt), so when I’m writing anything where that might come up I have to go through mental gymnastics to explain why he might lie. Or just ignore SVU’s “canon” on that

Unanswered question: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO KEN & ALEJANDRO’S BABY? THAT POOR SURROGATE HAS BEEN PREGNANT FOREVER. Unless that’s just something they’ve completely forgotten about and we’re just to assume Fin is a grandfather now and never talks about it at work while everything and anything Olivia or Amanda does has to relate to them being mothers.

Best promo: Well, I really liked USA Network’s recent “Fin-a-thon” promo…especially for Ice talking about Fin & Munch.

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book:  I’ve mentioned this before, but the funny moment when I went from being a casual viewer to developing my current obsession was in Spousal Privilege when Fin said to Amanda: “ I learned two things in my 15 years here at SVU. One: you can’t take this job home to you. Two: you can’t take anyone from this job home with you.” I hadn’t been watching regularly for a number of years so immediately I was like, “WAIT A MINUTE DID HE JUST ACKNOWLEDGE HAVING A THING WITH MUNCH?!” It’s weird the things that set my shippy brain off. Suddenly I wanted to catch up on everything I missed, and that made me then want to rewatch EVERY episode, and mild fannishness became a total obsession.

#snaafu #thanks for the ask #svu #svu thinky thoughts #wow this got long #like a goddamned essay