#how do i take myself to the train ?

[obsob]

the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)

#mine #original #i cannot even begin to explain the anguish. the torment. this drawing has brought me #and i STILL dont like it. i simply cant work on it any longer i cant i cant. i must be rid of it #eating drywall as we speak #you want to know how many weeks ive worked on this. THREE. ALMOST. #you want to know how long my other cat drawings take me ?? 3 days absolute MAX #anyway. begon foul creature etc #i havent left extremely long tags for a long while hello everyone good lord there are many of you #we are going stratford this weekend very exciting #its going to be a little chilly and i want to take my new coat with me but issue its not chilly right now so i cant wear it onto the train #i do not think. i can. stuff it into my suitcase i dont think that will happen #i am sure i will figure it out #also. no longer vegan . eggs have won me over. egg egg egg. #im having to restrain myself SO hard from buying more wool i want a shawl i want a shawl #i want more cute DRESSES why are nice comfy dresses 10000£ #i look on vinted and its like dresses for popping your pussy in like not. the vibe im going for thank u #anyway. im going to eat crackers now

[beescake]

Sorry for the spam (^o^;) I just really like your blog

no need to apologize ayy!

in this corner we welcome all forms of enjoyment, regardless of whether you're a

happy to have yall here w me,

headin into homestuck 2024 :^)

#was debating if sollux truly was lurker type but then i rmbr'd him quietly reading all of karkat's memos for a good laugh HAHAHAHAAH #ask #aleemie #homestuck #karkat vantas #sollux captor #solkat #2024 #vioart #but o. regarding the etiquette learned frm other socmed #spamming here is safe+good! it does not harm the op by shadowbanning like instagram #and its not 💀 like twitter where ur likes/following are permanently set to public #ur tumblr experience is within ur control it can be as free/empty/curated as u want!! #((tho ofc i do encourage rbing for ppl who've been hoping to start that habit!! #s'cool to slowly work ur way up from the extra special posts that hv lingered longest in ur heart and quietly build ur cache trove :-) #for example back when i was struggling to rt on a new twt acc i just started setting nonsense criteria for myself LOL #like “breaking this void is scary holy fuck ok i shall start by rting posts w brownish/reddish clrs bcs its inspo vibes for my art” #and gradually after a while of deliberate sharing i gained more confidence to share a larger variety of posts that make me feel things!!!! #no more training wheels i may be scared but i love loving more!!!! #same goes for engaging w fics too it takes energy to think of how to comment and thats ok‚ do ur best to explore what works for u!!!! #take screenshots of ur fave paragraphs & start annotating in gallery/notes app if that helps!!!! #also tumblr's customizable queue means u can stack posts and bolt hgehehe. my preferred form of existing on the net))

[beeduoo]

wonderful

#there is a ranboo that goes withthis but i didn't like how he was looking imma restart from scratch tmrw😭😭 #ctubbo #michael beloved #ctubbo fanart #Guys you have no idea what i went through today like it wa fucking crazy i need to share this #so i went to the mall after school right and im going home at like 8 on the train with my friend bc i was supposed to be picked up ay her #stop right but then im told to just go to my stop and take the bus and im like ok sure but the problem is my phone is on SEVEN PERCENT and w #hen i get to the stop my moms like u have money for the bus right and im like ueah and i check and i have NO MONEY #BUT I DIDNT TELL HER ANUTHING BC I DIDNT WANT HER TI GET MAD BC I KNEW SHE WOUDKNT WANT ME TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME AT NIGHT (FOURTY BLOCKS #So im like ok im getting on the bus now my phone is on four percent i have to WALK HOME allll that way and there's this crazy ass upward hi #ll that's like ten blocks long ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD but like my mom thinks im on the bus so im trying to speed walk as fast as i can and i #RAWDOGGED it too because MU PHONE WAS GOING TO IDE!!!! #I made it home at two percent U guys i was so proud of myself thank u for listening #IM SO MAD IT WOUKDVE BEEN OKAY IF I WASNT IN A RUSH And also if i had music uggghhh Whatever #I bought this really cute skirt at garage hold on let me find it #lexi pleated skort color Navy blue ITS SOOOO CUTE got some new leg warmers too yesss.... #I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSIT APP i woukdve been able to attach my apple pay and buy the stupid ticket if my phonewasnnt #too dead to do al that... #Guys always make sure u carry cash with yiu goodbye

[britneyshakespeare]

My toxic trait is that I like how my incomplete drawings look better than the finished things

#im sorry i cant be her (my searching lines) #i cant stop thinking about this drawing i have a sinking feeling that im gonna be very unhappy when its done #or. not unhappy. but not as excited as i feel about it now! #i only worked in two short chunks on it but both were pretty productive #i have a feeling that when i take the time to really dedicate myself to it im gonna fuck something up #like i can see areas i need to/can improve already but the glaring flaws are ok! bc it's not finished! #it OVERALL looks cool and LOOKS like it has the potential to turn out well #but will it... WILL IT??? WILL IT EVER? #i have never been so totally completely satisfied w any finished drawing ive dedicated myself to fully. #tales from diana #this is also only the second time ive done a really deliberate self-portrait that wasnt in some for or another. practice #like of course ive drawn my face before. not that often actually. but since yes i do draw. i have drawn myself #i probably should've drawn myself more times for how often i think id like a nice picture of myself #but then again its not gonna be so 'nice' if i make it and am not totally happy w it? #see one of the ppl who inspired me to learn to draw is ned @sneez my dearest. he's spoiled me before #and drawn me very beautifully on several occasions and it's very much a thing to move one's heart #to see someone dedicate their talent to depicting YOU. #and i might say HE has made me look more beautiful in art than i think i'll ever look in the flesh #which is not to say he drew me inaccurately. but he's so talented that his art is more beautiful than life. #and i dont compare myself in skill to him bc he's been doing it for YEARS and way more trained than me in the visual arts. #like it simply wouldn't be fair so i only compare myself to myself. naturally #but i used to think. very VAINLY i might say. that if i could draw like him id draw beautiful pictures of myself all the time #well ce n'est pas ca mon ami. since learning to draw i've found im much more interested in drawing ppl i find beautiful #rather than myself. im not art. not through my own eyes at least. #i should really draw ned sometime. i really should. #actually somewhat embarrasingly i tried to draw him like 5 or 6 years ago. and i NEVER tried to draw then #i did show him tho and he thought it was very impressive but that's probably just bc he loves me. xoxox #maybe ill post that someday as a throwback just for the hell of it. lol. thatd be cute

[aphsillyos]

his default recall is so cool..........

#not me arts tag #ive never used his default skin so i didnt even know what it looked like until now....ough #i wish u could mix and match sounds or recalls with skins................ #i honestly forget half the time hes supposed to be like. Cool and Suave and a Competent Badass #because my brain is always like. god hes so small and floppy and will die if you breathe on him wrong #also hes always crying and breathing heavily in my ear so im just like. poor guy #he should be at the bed taking a nap not fighting....... who made him fight.... stop that he doesnt belong on the battle field #he might be a badass hitman or smth but my brain is like #this is just a sad theatre kid who took gymnastics #''aphelios how is your assassin training going'' aphelios who has only been reading the acrobatics textbook: my what #is there anyone still reading these tags. hi there #i have a lot of thoughts on him. im very obsessed with his animations #like he has a laugh animation for every weapon....... #all the various weapon animations... #maybe the real reason we wont have a legendary for 10 more years is all the animating they have to do #i mean his base animations are so good id honest be like OK if they reused them #cant rly do much better than already Top Tier animations #unless we get an alune legendary..... #hope alune is super awesome and badass and all the aphelios voicelines are a really shy awkward guy or smth #like you look so cool and awesome fighting and the whole world doesnt know ur listening to a lil guy in your brain the whole game #the contrast would be very funny methinks #if anyones still reading this. yes i know riot made up some reason about budget or whatever for voices #but i choose to believe aphelios is head empty no thoughts and thats why he doesnt talk to alune #(STILL GOOFY OF A REASON... lots of VAs can do both genders of voices.... like. what about kindred and kayn....) #then again wouldnt be surprised if they were overbudget on the animations but still smh my head into oblivion #can relate to a guy who simply doesnt wanna talk #(said after 10000 tags of talking to myself) #i should really put my thoughts onto a separate post or blog or something #anyways have i mentioned i think hes really cute

[lecliss]

Sakura gets a second point for being the first to complete the tree climbing at being better at chakra control, but at the same time it just feels like she was made good at it so no extra training segment time would have to be put into her getting good at it and it can be all about Sauce and Nart. Idk that feels too pessimistic but also could totally be true.

#she takes on a very 'obsever' role. like kashi is the teacher watching over them. but sock is the watching and commenting from the same #perspective of nart and sauce and also the viewer unlike kashi. cuz he provides a lot of exposition and whatnot in his inner monolgues #and its like. of course the girl is just the observer who watches alongside us as the two main boys grow and develop #AND I DONT WANNA FUCKIN BE PESSIMISTIC ABOUT THIS BUT GOD ITS IMPOSSIBLE!!!! #but her whole character so far is 'i hate the class clown. im book smart. i diet and im in love' #and the way i see it is. 12yo girl TRYING to fit into the femininity she sees in the world around her so she forces herself to be like this #but she has inner sock who speaks what she really feels showing that she puts on quite a front and isnt really much like that at all #and you expect her to grow into wanting her to truly define herself. and she does with getting stronger and training under tsunade and #learning medical ninjutsu so she really finds a spot for herself. she does!!! but then she KEEPS hanging onto the love nonsense #and admittedly there are moments that push a very obvious trope of thinking she likes sauce cuz hes cool but finding out that the real 'gem' #is nart so i definitely understand where n@rus@kus are coming from #but then she just STICKS with sauce until its the worst ship possible and its an utter mess of 'ill never give up on him' #EVEB DESPITE HIM TRYING TO KILL HER!!! THEN THAT FUCKING WORKS OUT!?!?!? #AND TOO THIS DAY SAUCE STILL NEVER COMES OFF LIKE HE ACTUALLY LOVES HER #IM SORRY BUT ITS TRUE. SARD WE ARE GETTING YOU BETTER PARENTS. ON GOD!!!!! #so she just hangs on to this one little thing that she SHOULD have gotten development for to move on from BUT IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS #so its like half her development never fucking happens and thats why it #s such a fuckinf mess!!!!! #i fucking hate this show. i need to go back to watching mike's dino game vod. what am i doing here????? #i did this to myself btw. i didnt need to start yelling about that but thats just how it is with nart #start thinking about something good and then it reminds you of something related thats bad and now its like. yeah this shit sucks #remember when kishi said he regretted not making hina the heroine???? we could have lived in a better timeline. #but if i say that i will get assassinated #anyway. #sock count #personal

[bojanus]

#i love trains #rumble rumble rumble #this is how im hyping myself up #to deal with this paperwork #im so scared im gonna forget the documents i need #or they'll be like 'SURPRISE! these documents are bad' #or 'Actually we need u to take a road test RIGHT NOW #even tho the website says u shouldn't need to for this' #wish me luck im gonna see if they'll let me do TWO things even #bojanus chats

[rahabs]

It's just amazing to me that all the people who were having complete meltdowns in February over a video game are now on this website spitting some of the most vile, heinous, antisemitic rhetoric, is all.

#It's just. You know. What it is. #Masks off and all that #From 'this video game kills Jews' to 'yeah actually... we SHOULD annihilate them all! Brilliant' #Like it really didn't take long at all for those masks to come off. #It's just that I think you can make your point without all the 'actually we should wipe Israel+ Israelites + Jews off the face of the earth #Not even touching the people who have boiled this conflict down to 'Israel and Jews bad because white and Palestine good because brown' #Because people on Tumblr have been saying for years that the Holocaust doesn't count because 'it happened to white people/Jews are white' #Which is an entirely different can of ignorance (and I've already reblogged posts on the matter of Jewish ethnicity) #And to the people who I know will have knee-jerk responses to this: #Firstly temper yourself and use your brain please #Secondly I'm not saying all the Pro-Palestine people say this. #Just that there is a very large amount of real and vile antisemitism #And a lot of it is being propagated by the same people who back in February #Harassed people under the guise of 'this game is antisemitic' (even when actual Jews disagreed) #And who then immediately jumped on the 'Israel bad and also Jews bad and also we should get rid of them forever' train. #Like hopefully even the Pro-Palestine people can understand why that's Wrong. Hopefully. #Also do not even with the 'but that's not happening Cheyenne' because yes it is even if you don't want to face the realities of antisemitis #And the forms it takes. How deeply hated Jews still are by society--and not just Western society. #And also you know what while I dig myself a hole tonight: #Jewish people have existed in Israel longer than Christians and Muslims have existed PERIOD #And I am so over the horrible nonsensical comparisons North Americans try to make to the colonisation of the Americas by Europeans. #It is NOT the same thing and I say this as a First Nations woman with two history degrees; a classics degree; and a JD. #You sound ignorant. You are ignorant. Stop it.

[moregraceful]

put 712 of the worst words ever put in a google doc tonight BUT! it is 712 more words in the google doc than i had yesterday. this fic will be more than 2k, so help me god

#the past six months have been so weird after posting over 200k last year (including the longest fic i've written since bandom) #i think i would have been fine continuing to post 1-3k one shots all year if i had not just had to request extended time off of school #but between that + having no idea if i have a regular schedule at the library + my nonprofit boss sending a harrowing welcome back #i'm like by god jason robertson we are going to take a couple of leisurely 7-10k+ strolls to get you a boyfriend or two this summer #well all that + being horrendously writers blocked on the other two longer projects lmfao oh my god #10k deep in one and every time i open the google doc a portal to hell opens up in my living room #0k into the other bc every time i open my outline another different portal to hell opens up in my shower #i get no rest. i get no peace. every morning i wake up and 5 more demons are- oh my god #bro my fucken train of thought just got completely derailed by spotify. i know i'm the last person in the world to know this but #3oh!3 and big freedia remixed rebecca black's friday?? and it's completely unlistenable?? girls what did you do #3oh!3 kill me bc no time traveler ever took their faces in hand and kissed them gently on the forehead and looked into their eyes #said ''please focus on coloradosunrise it will literally course-correct the trajectory of your career from frat house gimmick to #rowdy but respectable indie edm artists. you can remain true to your warped tour dirtbag origins but you HAVE to develop THAT sound'' #like the chainsmokers are a joke but i feel like THAT + ANGRY EMO GIRLS + THEIR TOTAL DISREGARD FOR MARKETABILITY... could have been THEM #when the piano drops?? hello?? i had so many mental breakdowns in college listening to that song they could have defined a generation #like who else is gonna get noah cyrus and ashe and gayle and olivia rodrigo's vision. only warped tour dirtbags. #me @ myself [so lovingly]: what are you talking about. how old are you #me @ myself: talk to me abt earth 2 in which 3oh!3 remixed i got so high that i saw jesus....and it whipped ass #also. i had to google how old i was. THREE TIMES last week. #the minute i turned 32 apparently i was like i'm in my mid-30s now the rest of this decade is NOT my business until i turn 38 #this post was supposed to be an uplifting reminder to myself to keep pushing forward and trying hard and to not let the rot consume me #but i think i just drove off a cliff like fully my god #i need listen to big freedia more she rules #fresno oilers.txt #another banner day in the tags with kasper moregraceful

[toytulini]

would be cool this yr to do like first aid training maybe?

#toy txt post #hope i can. get an opportunity to do that. not sure when. the horrors and inability to commit to things u see #but i think i should do that #at some point. altho i feel like i will almost certainly have to do CPR training? and like. like it seems like useful knowledge. and like. #i should know it and maybe im the worst person in existence for this but im a bit of a germaphobe and scared of covid and im not taking my #mask off so like. feels like. that is pretty mutually exclusive with CPR unless thereve been advancements im not aware of? #like would i be able to carry around some sort of billows but for human lungs to do that instead of my mouth? idk. this has in fact been #a legitimate hurdle to me wanting to pursue first aid training. sorry. genuinely dont know how to reconcile that and maybe! in a crisis #situation id overcome it to save a person. genuinely do not know. sorry im like a selfish horrible bitch tho and i cant see myself #doing CPR and am icked by the idea of even learning it. i know now they make those things to put on someones mouth but its still like. #that doesnt do anything against respiratory shit...idk. like is it worse to not pursue any of this at all to avoid the ethical quandry of #not wanting to deal with CPR even as a concept bc im a stupid baby squicked out by lip touching? or is it worse to do first aid and learn #like everything except CPR so i could still theoretically help in some cases that arent necessarily CPR. idk. im sure im just a Bad Person #for this and hate to even admit it. i think i should at least try to find a stop the bleed course or smth ig

[toxooz]

Hi Toxooz, how do you get yourself to draw so frequently? 👀👀👀

bc i have literally 84 things going on at once in my brain at all times that my highly visually obsessed brain Has To physically get in front of my eyes so that i can see or else will i think abt it over and over again and Brother I'm always envisioning things characters scenes scenarios outfits designs colors all of it in my cranium like angry itchy itchy ITCHY bees until i draw them out lmfao even if i don't know what to specifically draw at the current moment imma still end up drawing somehow ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think at this point it's literally hardwired into my brain that I Gotta draw its what I've been doing since I could hold a pencil tbh it's how i cope with being -gestures vaguely- Here and alive, i actually gotta force myself to take a day off and schedule days where I DONT draw bc I know it's wearing on my hands and wrists 😬 I guess physically drawing grounds me in a way and keeps me (mostly) sane like if I don't draw for a few days i start getting Vaguely Antsy it's fukkin weird and i think at this point my love for my characters has surpassed like any form of art block if that makes sense??? like they literally take up 92% of my brain if not more, and the only way to see them is to draw them but yeah it's just what i do it's my jelly n my jam which is why I'm literally so glad i realized that i don't want to make drawing a job/career bc God help me if i start dreading drawing bc of the stress of money I've been drawing like crazy for like 2 decades straight and I only wanna draw more man idk!!!!! It's just one of them 'how the brain formed around what you do an assload of times' thangs

Answer translation: idk I just like to draw a lot lmfao

#its like the kids say ✨💅its how i express myself✨💅 #and dont get it twisted im aware this is not healthy lmfao #dont aspire to b like me just draw or dont draw man its abt the want #like i said drawing is just What I Do at this point i didnt train theres not some ''oh draw for at least 30 minutes a day' shit #i draw fast as shit (probably obviously ) and so much its probably unnatural AHA #the secret is make drawing the only outlet for your brain to not completely self implode at the mere idea of existing #for 24 years!!!!! :) #honestly thats why im getting progressively more Tired when every mf and their grandma tries to convince me to sell my shits #like brother this is a part of me how can i give away something i created and inevitably formed a bond with for like 100 bucks #i caint do it and so if i go in with the expectation to imediately give it away then man i dont even want to be making art in the first pl #like for me Personally if im not going to make something that i fall in love with and want to look at occasionally then #Literally what is the point of me making anything #what is the point of me making my body and mind create a piece if not for my own personal joy??? #but thats just physical art ig #like digital stuff and selling it for money if some1 wants it im aight but physical paintings??? that shit is Me and Mine #like just bc i Can make art doesnt immediately mean i need to make money from it yknow #my brother in christ when it comes to the the only true outlet for me to find joy and inspiration in living i Do Not care about money #i will take any amount of shitty job abuse if it means i conserve my passion #ill get a scarring accident from welding before i will stress cry over a deadline for a project that i dont even want to do #absolutely terrified of that path and feeling it is The Worst for me #like literally thank FUCK i realized this when i was just in a community college and not balls deep in debt at some fancy university #granted late as all hell and all my opportunities of taking free welding classes in my early years have long passed but still glad #just stick me on an abandoned island with canvases n paint n shit and ill b fine #god knew if i managed my time better and wasnt Really Fucking Exhausted all the time i would be unstoppable #like ofc making money while drawing what i want is the dream no doubt but the chances of that are slim and the road to get there is even #slimmer #ANYWAY holy shit not to get hella preachy but i have Thots

[disengaged]

alright anorexia is boring, let’s get yolked

#yeah so i gained 20lbs and started hitting the gym pretty hard two months ago #struggling with weight restoration/relapse urges worse than ever BUT i’m also feeling good about my progress and enjoying myself immensely #honestly didn’t realize how bad i missed lifting #and now that i have time off work i can actually focus on getting my nutrition right (i.e. actually consuming enough protein for once) #pegasus speaks #my face #my ancient ipod camera is shit quality but my abs are starting to show for the first time in like … 1.5 years lol #and im pleased with my anterior/lateral delts! although my pecs need some serious work. wtf #i train chest 2-3x/week and i can still see bones fml #ed ment tw #weight tw #ask to tag #i feel like i’m kind of relearning all my limits. like in terms of physical/mental energy and stuff. idk #doing a lot of research and figuring it out as i go. trying to avoid falling into systemic fatigue etc #as much as i love the gym i do have to compensate in other areas of my life #if i want to push myself this hard then that’s my choice. but like. i need to give up on doing other things. give and take. spoon theory #etc etc etc

[p4nishers]

its so interesting how the members of the batch kind of adopted crosshair's character traits after he left. what i mean by that, for example echo, ESPECIALLY this season, became the cynical one who questioned hunter. of course not in the same way cross did because they're not the same character but before echo, crosshair was the one who really went there and almost always questioned hunter, though i suspect it was more of "challenging your authority" and not "im giving you constructive criticism because we're a team and you don't always have the right perspective" like echo did. i think it makes sense that echo left, even more so when after crosshair, he was the one most likely to do so. like omega is out of question for obvious reasons, so is wrecker and hunter, because they're both so interconnected with their family that they just couldn't work alone and they don't want to and mostly the same for tech tho i think his reasons lie more so with not knowing anything else and not really wanting to. but also it's not just echo's cynism, it's things like for example in the latest ep when tech took that shot and they framed it exactly like they'd crosshair's. it's little things but since their group is lessening they're kind of forced to adopted each others jobs and traits in order to function. also how tech became the one to comfort omega when it's largely been echo who did that (and hunter of course but that's not gonna change as i mentioned) and also wrecker was only ever protective of crosshair and now that his little brother is gone he's taken to protecting omega, his little sister. I just really love the subtle way of filling their absence in, no matter how much it hurts.

#im a little late on the echo-leaving-analization train and i apologize for that ive been distracting lately but god GOD i love how season 2 #is turning out so far #i mean ok so echo's always been a little cynical and order-questioning but never like this season and i think we (if we really want to #and i do) can take it as forshadowing #i just realized that this may seem very delusional and forced so sorry about that i am unfortunately prone to live in my delusions #the bad batch s2 #sw #tbb s2 #the bad batch #tbb #clone wars #star wars #the bad batch crosshair #the bad batch echo #the bad batch tech #the bad batch hunter #the bad batch wrecker #the bad batch omega #does this make sense or did i convince myself that it does #good question who knows

[torchickentacos]

So. I had been listening to a song and thought, 'Huh. This is going on for a while, isn't it?" So I checked, and.... hm.

#I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD HAVE A 37 MINUTE SONG #WHAT THE FUCK DEFTONES????????????? also long tags i start rambling about random stuff. as I do. #listening to their sophomore album. not as much a fan of it as some of their other stuff but it's still fun #i've really enjoyed exploring their discography more #even though I don't pay much attention to the lyrics #some music is mostly about lyrics to me but others it's just vibes #this is vibes to me #it is good noise!!!! #rather than something I'd take time to really listen to on a lyrical level. no meaning I really care to pick apart as of right now #Their lyrics seem somewhat sparse and like separate trains of thought anyways rather than cohesive stories within a song #not a bad thing at all!!!!! I like it. just an observation #but again I am saying this after liking a few main songs and only just now diving deeper into the discography #so maybe i'm entirely wrong!!!! #but it is somewhat shattered and meandering rather than start to finish like your bluegrass. not the linear storytelling aspect to it #not at all to say they're meaningless though because they aren't #just a bit more vague or winding and fractured about how they deliver that meaning I guess. #but again I can vibe with that #i do think a lot of rock songs tend to put more emphasis on emotion and sensation over story but that's a whole thing i won't get into #partially because it's past 1 am #but also partially because I don't have the actual intelligence on the topic to back myself up. it's purely anecdotal #just something I noticed #which could very easily be skewed by the type of music I gravitate towards within the genre for all I know #but again. 1 am. not the time to dissect the theoretical... uh.. methodology i guess? of how I would go about measuring that. #it's soooo interesting but I am not well versed enough to really discuss it BUT I WANT TO BE #goddamn it I wish I had been more. uh. well in high school. I would have loved the analysis stuff #shakespeare actually is very fun to read!!!!! but that gets into a whole other thing i have about how schools tend to teach stuff like that #they suck the fun and theatrics out of it #and it's the fun and fascination that drives kids to want to pick it apart and think about it. #but again. whole other topic. goodnight i am cutting this off here before i keep going about random shit

[weirdo-with-a-nametag]

Visiting my dad/sisters/stepmom for thanksgiving and my dad doesn't want to pick me up from the train station, and it's really bumming me out!

#he told me a few days ago that he'd already be drinkinf by the time my train gets in so I'm glad he's not driving #but he's on this thing about how getting a lyft and getting myself there is a grown up move and I should act like a grown up #and like. that's fine. but picking someone up when they're visiting you is such a basic thing to me #if someone comes into town or takes the light rail across town or something and they're visiting me? I always go get them #it's a basic affection thing. I want to spend time with them #and get them there quickly and comfortably #so when he goes hey I don't want to drive the 15 minutes anymore. and we're not going to visit you ever so you just come down #spend twice as much getting a ride as you did for the train. #I'm like... okay man. I really feel unwanted #and I'm here for the kids so I'll do it anyway. but if you ever want a good relationship with me... stop that? #it really hurts to be around him