#and gradually after a while of deliberate sharing i gained more confidence to share a larger variety of posts that make me feel things!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dreamingsnowflake2013 · 4 years

Photo

Chapter 47 is extremely important since it lays ground for major developments&storylines in Season 2, therefore I've decided to write a very detailed analysis, dissecting every gesture, every look and every hidden meaning.

Painter of the Night is a work of visual art which tells a story via imagery, thus the visual component constitues the most important part of it. It stems from the fact that there is limited space for dialogues. Not only does it allow Byeonduck to make most of it with her extraordinary artistic talent, it also makes each sentence that much more poignant and important. Nothing is redudant, every word counts and is loaded with ambiguity, every sigh and pause hold a meaning, and even the silence resonates and speaks volumes. All this is even more crucial when the story takes place in an era where each piece of clothing, a person’s hairstyle or the place where they stood or sat in a room also revealed their place in society; and even more so, when both its protagonists are people who have difficulties expressing their true feelings and intention by words. The time Seungho and Nakyum spend in the master’s chamber in the morning almost seems mundane, but as always, first impressions are deceiving. They don’t talk much, yet their whole communication is loaded with meaning. And remember, communication is much more than mere words or their literal meaning. It doesn’t lead to anything sexual, still the air trembles with the attraction between them.

The crux of the issue is the social divide which separates Seungho and Nakyum I mentioned previously. During the whole scene the dynamic between the two men keeps constantly changing together with their literal positions in the room which symbolize their actual positions in the Joseon society and how those positions start to shift due to the feelings they have for each other. Seungho is almost unconsciously trying to bridge that divide by treating Nakyum more and more as his equal. It isn’t a deliberate behaviour on his part but instinctive. He sees the painter as his lover, therefore he treats him as his lover because, gradually, Nakyum’s social standing has ceased to matter to him. In the beginning, he had called him a lowborn very often, demeaning him, but he used it less and less until he almost stopped completely. The last time being when he got frustrated after Nakyum basically asked him to have rebound sex with him because Inhun had called him a prostitute. Thus, the ever-changing dynamic in this scene is the result of the nobleman trying to overcome the chasm which separates them and keeps him from being close to his young lover.

To start with, there is the mere fact that Nakyum is present during Seungho’s daily dressing ritual which is a deeply private and intimate affair usually only wives had the privilege and right to attend. However, a wife would never kneel in a position of subjugation on the hard floor at the far side of the room with her eyes lowered to the ground. And Seungho won’t have it because he is always observing Nakyum and never takes his eyes off him, noticing everything about him, including the painter’s blushing cheeks and the quiver of his lashes. So he starts to woo Nakyum even though it’s still only morning.

First, he lowkey informs him that he doesn’t fuck anyone else, basically telling him “I have only you. You are the only one for me.” in his own way, and then he proceeds to actually ADMIT that HE LOVES NAKYUM’S BLUSHES, he loves when Nakyum blushes because of him. He genuinely tries to put into words his appreciation and affection and show them to Nakyum, albeit clumsily. At first glance, it might seem as his typical, teasing remark but it’s not. In fact, it sounds like a shy but intimate and sincere confession.

We don’t see Seungho’s face when he admits he likes seeing Nakyum blush, only his robe, and together with the split second when he ponders Nakyum’s question about his kindness, IT IS THE ONLY TIME SEUNGHO LOOKS AWAY FROM NAKYUM, other than that Seungho never takes his eyes off him. During these two fleeting moments he reveals his vulnerablity while, at the same time, trying to hide it by turning his back to Nakyum so the painter wouldn’t notice it. I love how Byeonduck doesn’t show his expressions to the readers during these moments, but still gives them visual clues to uncover the truth if they read between the lines and notice Seungho’s body language. It’s not about discovering the visible but about seeing the invisible, what is hidden in plain sight. The same narrative means is used to show Nakyum’s reaction to Seungho’s explanation why he’s been so kind to him: we only see his chin, never his eyes or facial expression in that moment.

Of course Seungho immediately guesses that Nakyum hasn’t eaten yet, because at this point he knows him that much, and moves fast to remedy the mistake, because he already cares about him that much.

Talking about bridging the divide, when Seungho orders Nakyum’s meal to be brought along with his, he’s doing exactly that. Commoners don’t eat while sitting next to noblemen. It’s simply not done but that’s exactly what’s Nakyum doing now. At Seungho’s bidding, he moves from his kneeling position on the other side of the room to the nobleman’s side, making the distance between them smaller both literally and figeratively. He is sitting next to Seungho as his equal on a place which is reserved for honored guests, wives or family members.

What follows might be one of the most interesting pieces of dialogue in the entire chapter 47. Once again, we don’t see Seungho’s face, only the table with food which makes it appear as a mere small talk or an off-handed comment, but it isn’t. Being a manhwa, Painter of the Night lacks the acoustic mode therefore the reader has no way of finding out the tone, intonation or timbre of the character’s voice unless they see his facial expression. However, Byeonduck deliberately doesn’t show it to us at very particular moments. Those moments are rare but by hiding the facial expression, she paradoxically brings readers closer to the characters because suddenly, for a brief moment, they feel exactly like her characters: in those moments, the readers have no idea what is going thorough Seungho’s mind and what he really feels, in those moments they are at a loss, or misunderstanding or left guessing just like Nakyum is during the whole scene. In those moments, the readers are not all-knowing and can relate to Nakyum because they feel the same.

So when Seungho mentions the erotic painting, and you don’t take the red herring and dismiss it as his usual teasing, you suddenly realize there is a double meaning to his sentence. First, the noble never really ordered Nakyum to come to him with his paintings in the morning. Is it possible that the blushing Nakyum actually used that painting as an excuse to see Seungho? Especially after being so needy the previous night? He himself admits that he can’t go anywhere without him and it’s not like he has any friends in the Yoon household he could talk to. His answer clearly pleases the noble, thus his satisfied smirk. However, more imporantly, it shows that SEUNGHO WANTS FROM NAKYUM MORE THAN HIS BODY and is making a genuine, if inept effort, to tell him. He is basically saying:”I know you think of me as some sex-crazed maniac/deviant and I don’t deny I’m horny and crazy about your ass, but I am not a beast who wants to fuck you all the time. Even I crave closeness and affection and I want more from you than your painting and your body. So much more.”

When his food turns inedible and Nakyum turns to leave to take his meal in the kitchen, he isn’t trying to use it as an excuse to leave but does it out of consideration so he wouldn’t disturb the nobleman farther during his breakfast. However, judging from his slightly pained expression and instant reaction, it seems Seungho misunderstands Nakyum’s consideration for an unwillingness to spend time with him. The person he considers his lover is trying to leave him and it seems he would rather share his meal with servants in a dirty kitchen than spend time with him. That’s how he probably perceives it. There is also Nakyum’s reaction which is really telling. Previously, he would be scared and skittish if Seungho asked him a question like that, plus, he used to be noticebly uncomfortable in his presence. However, now, he is blushing and bashful but he doesn’t look frightened or uncomfortable. If anything, it’s as if he’s gained a shy confidence and learned to speak his mind with Seungho.

And then comes another shift as Seungho takes more steps to bridge the divide between him and Nakyum. Not only does he openly agree with Nakyum that he has never been a servant, he even admits that he himself DOES NOT CONSIDER HIM A SERVANT = “You’re not a servant. The servants are unworthy of you. You don’t belong in my kitchen. Your place is by my side.”

Following this interaction, Seungho suddenly says:”...come HERE.” What does the word “here” mean here? – “Come CLOSER. Come TO ME.” So once again, the distance that sepates them grows smaller, or rather, Seungho makes it smaller, reduces it until he can touch Nakyum and there is finallly no distance between them at all.

Some pictures are worth more than a thousand words. Seungho has used to claim that all he wanted from Nakyum were his paintings and sex, but now the gorgeous explicit painting of them copulating is left forgotten on the floor. Seungho doesn’t even spare it a glance, all his attention and thoughts belong to the real man in front of him. There is no ulterior sexual motive in the way he touches him or worries about his well-being. Thus, Seungho’s explanation that he keeps Nakyum to have sex with him and then portray it on canvas is the lamest excuse ever. And these open exhibits of physical affection and closeness that doesn’t lead to anything sexual have been appearing more and more.

This one image both showing them making love and their real selves completely lost in a world of their own perfectly illustrates all the dichotomy, nuance, emotions and complex issues that lie just below the surface. If the audience read Painter of the Night superficially, they will only see the “filthy” erotic painting, that is, only one dimension of the story and then they will disregard it as a whole, just like the servant who only sees the surface of the painting but not its beauty and feelings behind it, much less the growing love between its author and his master.

I already wrote I long piece about the way Seungho pampers Nakyum and goes out of his way to make sure that he isn’t injured, so I’m skipping this part. However, what no one talked about is how Seungho gives his place at the table to Nakyum because the significance of the gesture is huge, even more so in Joseon society where every piece of furniture and clothing denoted a person’s status and worth. That seat was reserved only for the master of the house and not even wives got to sit there. So once again Seungho makes the distance between him and Nakyum smaller as he gives Nakyum a privileged position, literally making him his equal by seating him on his place.

And it really is the sight of Nakyum being treated as Seungho’s equal rather than the erotic painting itself which causes the servant to dislike Nakyum so much. The painting is only a trigger. Because in the servant’s POV, here is a lowborn boy who is considered by the society even more lowly than himself but is treated better than noble wives. Nakyum has been elevated to a high position but he is left kneeling by his feet, collecting trash from the floor.

When Seungho tells Nakyum to leave it to the servant and eat, he basically publicly claims Nakyum as his equal and makes a distinction between him and the servant. It almost feels as if he were doing it on purpose, to show the servants what Nakyum’s position is, the same way he did when he ordered the kitchen maid that Nakyum was not to eat in the kitchen.

People often describe the servant as homophobic but that’s 99,9% of Joseon society. What is much more imporant here is that he is envious and bigoted. Because the main issue isn’t so much about the fact that Nakyum has been having gay sex with Seungho, but that he is a lowborn AND he actually does have any sex with SH since in that era having extramarrital sex was considered amoral. The truth is that had NK been a woman, the servant would have reacted the same. Also, if NK were a nobleman, the servant would never dare to even look him in the eyes, much less insult him in such a manner. So this really shows that one of the main obstacles which separates Seungho and Nakyum is the social divide between them.

And from them two, it’s Seungho who has the necessary means and power to bridge that gap and offer his hand to Nakyum, whereas Nakyum needs to have the courage and confidence to take that hand, hold it tight and never let go.

#byeonduck #painter of the night #yahwacheop #potn #analysis

232 notes · View notes

sunidhisharma10 · 3 years

Text

Reality of Emotional Abuse and its trauma

TW -- Mentions of Emotional/Psychological abuse, Panic and Anxiety attacks, Depressive Episode, Intrusive and Suicidal thoughts.

I believe that when we talk about things that burdened us we actually liberate ourselves from its pain whilst beginning our healing from it. So here I’m talking about my experience with emotional abuse and how it is as heinous as any form of abuse.

This is going to be a long read as I’m treating this post as an entry of my journal.

It started right before the COVID lockdown in my country. I met him through a mutual friend. In my case we used to talk before but due to some circumstances we lost touch and later got reintroduced (unfortunately) and we began talking again. He was extremely charming and alarmingly flattering, in the beginning he appeared to me as a kind, gentle soul that has been hurt by the world but god was I wrong ( I’m an empath and during that time I was struggling with major codependency issues).

First red flag that I totally looked past was when I had period cramps and was writhing in my room; so this guy decided to send me a cake as a “goodwill” to help me with my cramps. What I easily looked past was I never mentioned where I lived to him and yet the cake was waiting at my doorstep. A that time I looked past it because someone has done something really special for me and I was flattered and felt special.So I brushed past it and thanked him enormously.

From their it began, long hours of texting and phone calls, he gave me his undivided attention while flattering me with over the top compliments and basically everything that I craved for; and so my naive self thought that this guy was everything that I needed. So to give him back for his so called kindness I become his confidant, and a person he can rely on. From their it started to change, he was extremely cunning with his ploys of getting me hooked into this relationship. Once I was hooked, he started emotionally dumping on me, basically using me as an emotional punching bag. I ignored all this because in my eyes he was a wounded soul who can be helped with love and acceptance. So I went ahead and ignored all the red flags that came my way. He was slowly gaslighting me and conditioning me into a submissive person. He controlled my every move, asked me where I was, while deliberately isolating me from my family and friends, he had gaslighted me enough that I actually internalized everything he said about me, good and the bad. I made excuses for him when my family and friends warned me against him. He stonewalled me whenever I dared (according to him) showed him some of my original personality. Little by little he conditioned me into this submissive person that took his dumping as his way of showing his love because I thought that he trusted me enough to tell me all this so I felt flattered and deserving of his love. His best way to manipulate me was guilt-tripping me and playing the victim card. He used to aggressively sabotage himself whilst playing the victim card that I had to stop saying anything that might offend him. I was basically walking on eggshells at this point. His way of draining me was something so subtle yet so alarmingly deteriorating that I faced months of physical and mental health issues.

One day he was doing his usual banter of draining my energy; when instead of just listening I advised him to go see a therapist whilst saying that even though I’ll support him endlessly, he has to take action for his own life ( the guy played the victim card on every possible thing!) and these words of mine raged him and he blocked me and gave me the silent treatment.

I was utterly confused, angry,hurt and what not, my cognitive dissonance was over the roof, I had lost myself, became extremely numb and started using self harm to make it make sense. And to find out that where did I went wrong. I apologized to him even when I wasn't at fault, to which he ‘‘accepted’‘ me back.

But by then I knew it in my heart that something was wrong and it isn’t supposed to feel this way and shouldn’t be so painful. So I started googling all this and came across an article which highlighted covert narcissistic/emotional abuse. Everything made sense after that. I was still surviving and was still in contact with him but something has snapped inside of me. A part of me wanted to confront him about everything he did to me but I listened to my intuition and decided against it. That became my breakthrough to leave the relationship. I started distancing myself from him, grey rocking him, basically not engaging with him at all. He still hoovered me for months but I continued with my detachment.

The months after I exited this relationship, I suffered from complex post traumatic stress; I was gaslighted to the point that I started self- gaslighting (yes it’s a thing). I had nightmares, I kept ruminating the past relationship whilst blaming myself and hurting myself in the process, My intrusive thoughts made me blame myself for hurting the person who destroyed me. I blamed myself for distancing from him. Because of this trauma I plunged into a debilitating depressive episode along with panic and anxiety attacks. It got so horrible that I decided to end my life and even wrote a suicide letter but somehow I survived it all. I took help of various life coaches and therapists who helped me out of this impending doom. I started learning my own patterns and become more self aware while validating my pain through it all. I started meditation and mindfulness and gradually with patience, efforts and help I got out of it gratefully; but some things still remain. I’m now very cautious and i do not trust anyone easily. My nervous system still reacts to the trauma I faced but I’ve learned how to soothe it. It has been difficult but I’m constantly healing and going forward. What really helped me was self validation. I validated every agony I faced and refused to fall back in my self gaslighting patterns. It gets exhausting, extremely exhausting, but it is so much better than staying with a person who inflicted this pain on you with no remorse, and whose only goal is to exploit you for their own gain.

To whoever who relates to this, you have my heart and unending support, know that you’re the strongest and I’m extremely proud of you. You can get through this, we’re in this together.

Emotional abuse is real and can happen to literally anyone. And it is so subtle and sneaky that the victim doesn’t even know that they’re being abused. It has same adverse effect like any other form of abuse and blaming the victim without proper education about the topic will only harm and hurt them more along with their already traumatizing experience. Please understand this and let’s be kinder to each other moving forward.

Thank you to anyone who read this, I used this platform to share my story and it has been really liberating for me and I trust that this platform will treat us with kindness and compassion. Let’s heal together. Thank you once again ♡

Love

22 notes · View notes

elyvorg · 4 years

Text

“Well, they’re more like a mom and dad who have a... hands-off approach to parenting.”

“That sounds... awkward. I don’t know if that’s better or worse than never knowing your parents at all.”

“Yeah... me neither. I’m lucky to have my uncle, at least.”

“...Hey, Kaito? You’ve been quiet for a while. Is something wrong?”

“Hm? Oh, nah, it’s nothing. Just spaced out for a bit, that’s all. My bad.”

“You know, Kaito... you live with your grandparents, right? And you never talk about your parents. It... it might not be any of my business, but I couldn’t help but wonder... are you... like me? Or... perhaps a bit like Maki, and you don’t even remember them?”

“Huh? N-No, it’s... neither of those.”

“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t have to—”

“Hey, it’s fine. I... I guess I don’t mind telling you guys. They... my parents died in a car crash when I was ten.”

---

@trainingtrioweek Day 5: Family

Instead of an art today, some rambly thoughts that this prompt gave me the perfect excuse to bring up. (If you’re finding my blog through this event: as well as arts, I also do quite a bit of meta and not-quite-meta rambling such as this kind of thing on here, usually still about the training trio!)

It’s only especially relevant in non-fiction AUs such as UTDP where everyone’s families are actually real, but – can we talk about the fact that all three of the training trio, in very different ways, are lacking in parents with both the qualities of being alive and being decent parents?

Shuichi

Shuichi’s parent issues are only mentioned briefly in one of his FTEs and don’t get nearly as much focus as his detective-related issues caused by that one case that traumatised him. But it’s possible that they could actually explain quite a bit about him.

It seems to be only in fairly recent years that Shuichi’s parents moved to work overseas and he was sent to live with his detective uncle. However, his bitter comment about his parents’ “hands-off approach to parenting” (that part of the line I wrote here was taken directly from his canon FTE) implies that they weren’t particularly there for him even when they were his primary caregivers.

He also mentions in this FTE that he became an apprentice to his uncle “as thanks for looking after me”. Which, like… that shouldn’t be necessary? Having someone take care of you is a basic human right for a child. But apparently, being properly looked after is not something Shuichi takes for granted, to the point that he feels like he needs to repay the person who does it for him. Ouch. Poor Shuichi.

Thinking on this, it feels like Shuichi’s distant parents could be a big part of why he grew up so anxious and insecure, and why he instinctively seeks out people he can depend on wholeheartedly and latches onto them when he finds them, like he did with Kaede and Kaito. And most likely with his uncle too, for that matter.

I can definitely imagine Shuichi managing to pick up on the clues about Kaito that suggest things aren’t great regarding his parents, and quietly wondering if they’re the same – maybe even sort of hoping they are, so that he’d have someone who really understands. And, well, turns out they aren’t quite the same after all, but nonetheless, knowing that Kaito’s gone through something similar and can relate on some level would still help Shuichi feel less alone with this.

Kaito

Meanwhile, what happened with Kaito’s parents probably also played a bit of a role in shaping him into the person he is, but in more of a positive way.

I’ve seen some people assume that the deal with Kaito’s parents is that they’re shitty parents kind of like Shuichi’s are, and that this is why Kaito talks himself up to be so super awesome all the time, out of a desperate need for the validation that he never got from his own home. But I don’t think that fits. While the stress of the killing game and his illness begin to really get to him and gradually break down his self-worth, it absolutely reads to me like Kaito’s confidence in himself at the beginning of the game was completely genuine. I don’t believe – at the start – that he needed validation from anyone else to know that he was the awesome person he said he was.

So, I believe Kaito’s parents must have been great and supportive parents. They’d need to have been, for Kaito to be able to grow up with so much real confidence, so unashamed of being bombastically himself all the time even if everyone else thinks he’s a ridiculous idiot. But then, if those lovely parents had died all of a sudden when Kaito was young (young-ish, but old enough to properly remember)… that would also have helped shape him into the Kaito we know, in that it’d make him even more determined to live his life to the fullest and not waste a moment of it.

[There’s more than just these general unsubstantiated feelings about Kaito’s overall character that make me sure his parents died, though – there’s also a few canon lines that I believe are deliberately subtly hinting at it. If you want to see which lines and what I think about them, I’ve compiled them in a section at the end of this post.]

Of course, Kaito losing his parents would have been an incredibly difficult and painful experience at the time. But with his grandparents’ support and his own natural resilience and optimism, Kaito appears to have dealt with it as well as any kid losing their parents could be expected to. He’d be determined to use it to push him forward rather than let it hold him back, and it definitely seems like he succeeded.

(Even so, it’d still hurt sometimes. He still misses them, even if he mostly does a good job of not dwelling on it or letting it get him down.)

Unlike most of his other “weaknesses”, Kaito wouldn’t ever try to outright hide or lie about what happened to his parents. He’s come to terms with it by now, and he’s not and never was ashamed of it – every kid’s expected to grieve for their parents, after all – so I don’t think it’d quite set off his hero issues and make him afraid of letting his sidekicks down if they found out.

But still, I imagine Kaito wouldn’t bring it up unless specifically asked about it. No matter how much he tries to focus on the positives and assure people that he’s okay with it now, it… tends to make people feel sorry for him, and he doesn’t like that.

However, after being prompted to talk about it during this conversation with Shuichi and Maki about their parent situations, Kaito would come to realise that maybe that’s not such an issue with them. Maki and Shuichi each have their own painful lack-of-parents problems that they’ve had to get used to, so they’re not going to be unconsciously pitying Kaito for his. That’d make a refreshing change from most people.

Maki in particular must have known some kids at the orphanage who’d been in Kaito’s situation, in that they used to live with their parents and had to go through the grief of losing them. From this, she’s able to tell that, while it’s partly because he was lucky enough to still have his grandparents, Kaito really does seem to have dealt with losing his parents remarkably well. Kaito already knew that – his grandparents would have told him how proud they are of him for coping so well – but it’d help to know that someone from outside the situation thinks the same thing.

(He still wouldn’t quite bring up the moments where it still hurts and he finds himself missing his parents terribly, because that’s weakness, isn’t it? But at least, knowing that his sidekicks understand this kind of pain, albeit in a bit of a different way, would help it hurt just a little less whenever Kaito can’t help but feel like this. He wouldn’t tell them, but he’d be really glad to have that.)

Maki

Maki’s probably actually the least interesting one to talk about here, because she grew up in an orphanage where not having parents was normal and never felt like the odd one out, and she never even knew her parents to have any feelings about them in particular. It seems she had more just a general fantasy of what having parents would be like which she could share with the other kids there – she talks in one of her FTEs about how she and her best friend played House in the role of the parents and just had to make it up. Then, of course, Maki gained much worse things to be dealing with and shaping her into the person she is than a simple lack of parents.

Still, being at Hope’s Peak (or whatever other school they’re at together in this non-fiction AU) and suddenly being surrounded by other kids who constantly talk about their parents like it’s normal… it probably feels vaguely alienating for Maki, on top of every other reason she has to feel like she doesn’t belong.

But at least Shuichi and Kaito understand, in a way. They know what it feels like to hear the other kids casually talk about doing things with their parents while only being able to wish that were normal for them. Maki’s not so much of an outsider, not when she’s with these two.

And in that same way, Kaito and Shuichi would feel less alone in this regard when the trio are together. All three of them have learned to live with their situations and not complain, but it must be nice to have someone else – two someone elses – who know the kind of feeling they’re going through and can relate, even if it’s rather different for each of them.

They’d be able to bond over this – and not just as hero and sidekicks, but as equals, because this is something even Kaito isn’t completely okay about. They are friends.

(Or, maybe, they’re also like a found family? Shuichi and Kaito are certainly the closest thing to a family that Maki’s had in a long time.)

---

[appendix: why I’m sure Kaito’s parents died]

First off, there’s the possibility that Kaito’s grandparents are the subject of his motive video simply because he never knew his parents at all, a bit like Maki. But that can’t be the case, based on this line from his second FTE:

Kaito: “When I was a kid, I’d go to my gramps’ place to play sometimes…”

If he considered it his “gramps’ place” at the time and only went there sometimes, he wasn’t living with them back when he was that young. So apparently, his parents were still around at that time.

Which means that something else happened with Kaito’s parents to make his grandparents the most important people in his life. There are pretty much two possibilities for this: that Kaito’s parents died sometime after those stories he told in his FTEs, or that Kaito’s parents are just assholes and so he prefers his grandparents to them.

With regards to the possibility that his parents are assholes: aside from how I don’t think that fits because Kaito’s confidence is too genuine until the killing game beats it down, there’s also one line vaguely relevant to this topic that suggests they aren’t. In UTDP, in a scene where he’s being pestered by Kokichi:

Kaito: “You’re still like this at your age? Doesn’t it make your parents cry? Do you even visit?”

Kaito automatically assumes that Kokichi’s parents care about him, even though it could potentially begin to explain a few things about Kokichi if they didn’t. If Kaito’s own parents sucked, you’d think this’d make him likely to consider the possibility that Kokichi’s might do too. Instead, though, that option doesn’t cross his mind, so it seems like Kaito unconsciously sees parents being decent as the norm.

Meanwhile, there are a few subtle bits throughout the story that indicate Kaito might have some experience in dealing with grief prior to the killing game. At the end of trial 1, after suggesting Shuichi visit Kaede’s lab to help come to terms with her death, he says this:

Kaito: “Understand? There’s only one way to get through this awful feeling. No one’s gonna be able to console you if you’re just sitting here alone. If anyone’s gonna help you, it’ll be her… in your memories.”

This really reads to me like Kaito is speaking from experience – that he’s saying this because he found that something similar helped for him when he was going through a similar kind of pain.

Then there’s the part in trial 3 where he’s encouraging Himiko to face up to Tenko’s death:

Kaito: “Our only option is to face her death head-on!”

Himiko: “…Nyeh? Face her death?”

Kaito: “Himiko… I understand what you’re going through.”

It’s a little oddly specific of Kaito to say that he understands what Himiko’s going through when he hasn’t personally lost anyone he was especially close to in the killing game like she has. And Kaito is absolutely not the kind of person to lie or exaggerate about something this serious and personal to somebody else – this moment is about Himiko and her feelings, and Kaito knows that and wouldn’t try to artificially make things about himself. So this strongly suggests that Kaito does in fact have some idea of what Himiko is going through and is thinking about a loss he suffered outside of the killing game. Facing it head-on sounds like just the kind of thing Kaito would have tried to do for his own grief, doesn’t it?

Then, only a few lines later in that same conversation, Kaito says this:

Kaito: “Abandoning someone who died and only thinking about your own survival… That’s just as bad as a hit-and-run! I won’t forgive something so messed up!”

Which would be an extremely weirdly-specific thing to say in this situation… except that it makes perfect sense if you assume, based on his earlier lines, that Kaito was already thinking about how he felt when he lost his parents.

So, yeah. When I wrote that Kaito’s parents died specifically in a car crash, that wasn’t pulled out of nowhere either. I really believe that’s what the writers had in mind as the truth about Kaito and deliberately hinted at here.

(It does make sense that Kaito would have lost his parents to an accident like this rather than to something like illness. It’s statistically more likely that he was raised by both his parents, and if that’s the case, an accident is something that could take both of them from him at once where illness most likely wouldn’t. Plus, if he’d lost his parent(s) to illness, spending the days and weeks leading up to their death(s) knowing he was going to lose them, you’d think Kaito would have ended up better at psychologically dealing with his own deadly illness than he actually is.)

There’s also a few lines Kaito has here and there about making the most out of the time you’ve got:

Kaito: “If you’re not going to get yourself in gear now, then when!? Now’s all you’ve got!”

Kaito: “Life is short! I don’t have time to waste loafing around here.”

…which, granted, is a very Kaito-like sentiment in general. But it does suggest that he might have learned first-hand that life is short, like he could be thinking about how his parents’ time got cut off abruptly when he’s saying this kind of thing.

The only part of this idea I pulled somewhat out of thin air for this post was that the accident happened specifically when Kaito was ten, but I think something around that age range seems right. Based on the fact that it’s so relatively hard to spot the signs of this in Kaito’s behaviour, it feels like losing his parents wasn’t so recent that the wound is still raw, and also not so early on in his childhood that it would have left a huge, noticeable scar on his psyche. Kaito’s long since managed to come out on the other side and develop a healthy, positive way of dealing with grief that he can try to pass onto both Shuichi and Himiko during the game, such that doing so is the only real noticeable sign that he even went through anything painful himself at all.

#danganronpa v3 #danganronpa v3 spoilers #kaito momota #shuichi saihara #maki harukawa #training trio #friends #training trio week 2020 #ramble

48 notes · View notes

thelightofthingshopedfor · 4 years

Text

WIP Wednesday, kind of!

for @grandthorkiday this year, I really wanted to finally finish the fic I started for it last year, but that didn’t happen because literally everything is happening at the same time this October and also it’s hard to focus on writing in general right now. but then I thought of this older Sakaar fic that has been vaguely on my “I’m almost positive this is practically done if I would just put some time and effort into finishing it (but it’s also totally possible it’s nowhere near as close to being done as I think it is)” list for ages, and I realized it totally fit the definition for Grandthorki, and I thought maybe I could finish that real quick instead!

...I couldn’t. there’s a lot more to this one that needs to be written than I kind of thought, in part because it’s so old I wrote it before Ragnarok ever came out, so it was based purely on the trailer (and then inspired by some speculation by @theotherodinson, I think), and to finish this fic I would first have to decide if it would be more straightforward to just keep going with my pre-Ragnarok speculation or change the setup a bit to fit the film. also I would have to turn a bunch of bullet points into an actual conversation that would have to...make sense? and, like, establish things? and that’s hard even when my brain isn’t busy constantly screaming.

but! I can post most of what I already wrote, just for fun and because at least this is something Grandthorki-related that I haven’t already posted elsewhere! knowing me this could backfire because then I won’t have as much motivation to try to finish it but on the other hand it’s been sitting at this exact level of unfinishedness for like three years so it’s probably not going to hurt.

warnings: I kind of don’t know what to say here because nothing actually happens but there’s a lot of discussion of rape and graphic violence, so...warnings for that!

[the basic premise/assumption here was that Thor ended up on Sakaar at some point in his search for the Infinity Stones, was forced into the Contest, and gradually gained more of the Grandmaster’s favor and attention because he’s Thor and he’s great at fighting. it’s probably been months at this point, he’s one of the Grandmaster’s champions, and that earns him a reward that he extremely does not want: a few hours with a sex slave, basically.]

The Grandmaster calls them his pets, sentient beings he keeps because they are pretty rather than for their fighting prowess, but the term seems only partially accurate given that it implies both ownership and some level of exclusivity. The latter, at least, seems to apply on a purely arbitrary basis according to the Grandmaster’s whims. There are other appropriate terms, certainly, and Thor has heard plenty from the guards and his fellow warriors. “Pleasure slave” seems to be the most accurate while still remaining within the bounds of marginal politeness.

“Grandmaster must like you special,” the guard says in a confiding tone as they walk. “This one used to be one of his favorite pets, all personal like—didn’t share him much, real picky about what anybody could do with him. Guess the mouthiness lost its shine. Oh yeah, that reminds me—” He digs into his bag and emerges with a handful of metal. “Boy’s really got a mouth on him, so use this when you get tired of it. Or if you wanna make sure he won’t bite; he still hasn’t learned his lesson on that either. Up to you though; walls are soundproof, so whatever you get up to won’t bother nobody else.”

It’s a gag, Thor realizes, reminded with a jolt of the muzzle he fastened on Loki before bringing him back to Asgard, and he cannot afford to think about Loki now. “Thank you,” he says as politely as he can, “but I have no need of…that.”

“You do, trust me,” the guard says. “Only way the boys have found to shut him up and stop him biting. Never met somebody who runs his mouth like that. Dunno why the Grandmaster liked him so long. Oh, and it opens, see—” He twists something at the side of the gag and part of the mouthpiece folds inward. Another twist and the opening widens, and it takes very little creativity to imagine how the mechanism would force the wearer’s jaw wide. “Careful with that, by the way,” the guard adds. “Two turns gets him open, three or four is good, keep going and you can dislocate his jaw—which is fine, fixed that before, it’s just the kind of thing you probably want to know you’re doing, right?”

Thor’s stomach turns over. When he is free of this place, he will come back to help the other slaves. He forces a smile. “I assure you, I do not need such an instrument.”

“You’ll thank me when you change your mind later,” the guard says, shoving the gag into Thor’s hand. Thor gives up and takes it, because if he has learned nothing else in the last few years he has at least learned the importance of picking his battles. “He hasn’t been fed today, either, so no worries he’ll puke on you. Might get him to cooperate if you promise him food after, but that never really works with this one, so, probably a waste of time. All up to you though. Anyway—” He puts a hand over the locking panel and the room’s outer door slides open. “I’ll lock you in, come get you in a few hours. Comms are open in case you need something. And ‘cause we get bored.”

“And if I prefer not to have an audience,” Thor says.

The guard snorts. “You been here this long and you don’t get how things work? In you go.”

Thor sighs and does as he’s bid. The outer door hisses shut behind him and the inner door slides open, revealing a modestly appointed bedchamber. The bed is the largest thing in it, a sturdy-looking wooden construction with prominent bedposts, but Thor’s attention is drawn immediately to the figure kneeling on the floor. He is facing away, though not by choice; his wrists are shackled behind his back and bound to a metal loop in the floor with a short length of chain. Thor has no doubt the positioning is deliberate, just another way of reminding the slave of his powerlessness. His shoulders are rigid, his fingers curled into fists—blue fingers, Thor notes, with black nails, and blue skin at the back of his neck under black hair. Probably Kree, then, which makes it a little odd that he is not being used in the arena, instead of…this.

Thor grimaces and moves to put himself in the slave’s line of sight.

[aaaaand naturally the slave is Loki, miraculously alive after dying in Thor’s arms on Svartalfheim! also he doesn’t recognize Thor at all and in fact remembers nothing prior to waking up half-dead on Svartalfheim and being scooped up by the Grandmaster somehow! this is all very upsetting for Thor! it gets more upsetting when, in the conversation I haven’t written, Loki starts working really hard to goad Thor into a temper and Thor realizes what he’s trying to do!]

“You want the gag,” Thor says finally.

Loki jerks back, his mouth snapping shut. He recovers quickly, his eyes crackling with anger, but he’s not quite fast enough to keep Thor from glimpsing a flash of fear underneath. “What I want is irrelevant. This is about what you want, that is the entire point, and I know your type, dozens of times over. You’re a warrior. You want to win. You want to hear me beg you to stop, to show mercy you delight in withholding. And I am telling you now, you can do anything you like but you will not hear me beg, not for anything. So use the damn gag.”

And with a flash of nauseating clarity Thor gets it, why Loki’s working so hard to goad others into forcibly shutting him up, because it’s the one tiny piece of control he has left. Unbidden, the image forces itself into his mind: Loki, eyes squeezed shut in pain, screaming into the gag and clinging to the very last scraps of his pride with the knowledge that if he breaks and begs for it to stop, no one will know—clinging to those scraps even though his defiance hurts him, because he has been left with nothing else that is still his.

[Thor gets real upset! upset enough to unlock his lightning powers without access to Mjolnir? yep!]

Loki’s red eyes widen, his bravado visibly wavering, and his voice shakes just a little as he says, “Well done, that’s actually a new one.”

“I’m sorry,” Thor says, “this will hurt, but I will be quick,” and he reaches out one crackling hand for the collar.

[Loki’s eyes widen etc. here instead probably] and he cringes away, raw panic breaking through his bravado, but if the guards are not already on their way they will be soon, and there is no time to spend on reassurances Loki will have no reason to believe anyway. Thor steels himself and lunges, seizing the chain at Loki’s wrists with one hand and his collar with the other, and Loki’s body snaps taut as lightning floods into him.

Once, over a century ago, a journey with Sif and the Warriors Three went disastrously wrong, resulting in Thor and Loki stranded alone on Muspelheim, relentlessly pursued by a dozen Fire Giants and unable to get far enough away to safely call on Heimdall. By the time the giants truly cornered them, they’d been running for three days straight without water or sleep, Loki’s magic was nearly depleted from several aborted attempts to hide them and open a pathway between realms, and Thor couldn’t draw down a storm from the painfully dry desert air. With no options remaining to them, Loki convinced Thor to channel the last dregs of Mjolnir’s lightning through Loki himself, in the theory that doing so might amplify what little remained of Loki’s magic and grant him the power needed to escape. It was a mad, desperate gamble that could have easily killed him and nearly did, but it worked, leaving Thor with—among other things—an unsettlingly precise knowledge of how much lightning Loki’s body could take without dying.

He has not thought of that incident in years, but he is glad of it now, especially without Mjolnir to help him control his power.

When everything clears, Loki is sprawled on his back, staring up at Thor and breathing hard, freed of all his bonds. His expression shifts through pain and fear and shock into confusion and then, finally, a faint glimmer of recognition, and he says hoarsely, “…Thor?”

Thor exhales, relief and battle-lust tangling inside him, and holds out his hand to help Loki up. “Come, brother. It’s time to get out of this place.”

Loki stares at him for a moment longer, his throat working, and then he reaches back and takes Thor’s hand.

#loki #thor #sakaar #fanfic #marvel cinematic universe #rape tw #grandthorki #occasionally I write things #sometimes I even finish them but not often #cw noncon implied #fic #text

12 notes · View notes

paroxysmics-blog · 4 years

Text

❝ you can’t put the ocean in a box. she will shift, change, and retreat at will. ❞

( danielle campbell. 22. she/her. ) we spotted AIDEN QUINN-WRIGHT in the wilds today, just another gear in the machine of the apocalypse. i heard she chose to go ROGUE for the end of the world. i guess it fits, seeing as she is known to be + adaptable & + resourceful, as well as - distracted & - suspicious. they often have supposed by james arthur stuck in their head while they hunt. i wonder if they’re prepared for what’s coming ? ( it’s trashcan faye!! )

tw: parent death

Also, this is a LONG ass bio omg you’ve been warned. I can send basics if you’d rather not read it all!!

before the end of the world,

The Kurtzman family teetered the line between working class and poverty, and bringing a child into the world in such a low-income home wasn’t the brightest idea, but they had always wanted to start a family of their own. Born to a young couple with more love than money to give, from birth to childhood: Elizabeth had always been too much to handle. Too loud, hyperactive, lacking the filter and resolve expected of young ladies raised in the South. Her parents, try as they might, had never been able to understand their daughter’s oddities, but boy did they adore her. Her early life was perfectly normal, perfectly happy, and their family seemed like one straight out of a movie. This changes when she gets sick. She is five and running in her grandparents backyard when the first symptoms show, chest tight and breathing labored. Asthma, the doctors tell her parents. Fairly easy to keep under control provided she had the right materials, inhalers and breathing treatments to keep it under control. That’s fine, they assure themselves. They’re living paycheck to pay check as is, but their child’s health is priority. The Kurtzman’s manage the added cost and life goes on as usual.

Until problems arise at school, which results in her teacher recommending she be taken to a family doctor for evaluation. It’s then that she’s diagnosed with ADHD. Another bill, something else tacked onto the long list of expenses for a family barely managing. Desperate times call for desperate measures and this pushes her parents into making a reckless choice. They decide to rise above and provide for their daughter no matter the cost, involving themselves with very shady people as a means to make extra money. The occasional job turns into unrealistic expectations and eventually debts catch up to them. In over their heads and fearing for their lives, they’re given an ultimatum. They swear they’ll pay them back gradually, they’re good for it, but that isn’t enough. Loud banging startles a sleeping Elizabeth awake. Her mother ushers her to the linen closet at the head of the stairs, and before she shuts the door she tells her to cover her ears and not come out until help arrives. “You’ll know it’s them when you hear the sirens, baby girl. I love you.“ Are the last words she speaks to her as she pulls the door shut and rushes to join her husband downstairs. They’re there to collect money they don’t have. Muffled shouts are heard and she can tell they’re arguing with someone. She moves to peek out the door and then — BANG. BANG.

She screams. Heavy feet shuffle through the house to her hiding place, but she’s already taken off down the stairs. The bodies of her mother and father lay in pools of blood in the hallway, staining her bare feet and trailing in her wake. She stops for one horrific moment to look at their lifeless forms before running…and running… until her lungs give way and her legs can’t carry her any longer. Alone and scared, she takes up residence on a park bench overnight. The next morning she wakes to a pair of middle-aged women surrounding her. One dials a number and not long after the police show up. She doesn’t move or speak beyond telling them her name, she just observes as a deputy talks about her like she isn’t there. They discuss how her parents had been found shot at point-blank range in their home the night before. “Suspected gang activity.” He says, beckoning the child to speak, to share any information she may know. She knows nothing, so she says nothing. Not that she would’ve been able to anyways. Once she’s safely collected by child protective services they placed her in the system until such a time as they found a family willing to take her on. ”It is for your protection.” They tell her on a loop, as if the more times they say it the truer it will become. The rest of her life will be spent looking over her shoulder, watching and waiting for the people who killed her parents to find her and finish the job should she ever decide to testify. It’s one spent on edge, constantly wondering who she can trust and whether their intentions are pure. Elizabeth Kurtzman legally became Aiden Quinn, a new name for a girl looking to start a brand new life.

Her saving grace comes in the form the cop assigned to her case, a family looking to adopt the girl they’d bonded with so effortlessly. The family works hard to gain her trust and she eventually caves; they’re kind, they treat her like one of their own, and eventually she thinks maybe she is. Two years pass and she’s started calling them mom and dad, their kids her siblings. The move to Milam, Texas in the middle of her Freshman year came as a surprise, one that she ultimately struggled with, but the girl had nothing keeping her in Florida beyond sentimentality. Her parents had been dead for years, she wasn’t even allowed to visit their graves – her childhood home had likely been sold to someone new and painted over to hide the death. She wonders whether the new family knows what happened there, or if the house had even been left standing period. This doesn’t matter, she reminds herself, as she worked to adjust to another new home, a new town with people she wasn’t sure would accept her as she came.

The three and a half years spent at Buckholts School passed in a haze of fist fights, detentions, and never quite fitting in. She had friends, a handful of them, but actively ostracized herself from her peers so as to keep a healthy distance between them. To them, she was an enigma; one day she was quiet, and kind, the next she was pinning a bully twice her size up against a locker for picking on a defenseless target. If they wanted to take out their anger on someone, they could take it out on her. Loud, spazzy, and sarcastic didn’t exactly make for the ideal friend, most people finding her to be a bit too much to handle. She was never needlessly rude to the people around her though, they just seldom bothered seeing beyond what she presented at face value. Her tendency to talk in class and scarcely pay attention to what the teachers were actually saying painted a pretty obvious picture: Aiden was not smart, and she certainly was not making good grades. She made it by with relative ease, however her scattered attention span and general disregard of her intelligence level downed her confidence to approach school with nothing but a shrug. Even still, she did will enough to go to college if she really wanted to. The thing was, she wasn’t sure she did.

For the first time since she was a child, there were no limitations. She was free to be as reckless as she wanted, all she had to do was wait for the day she turned eighteen. As graduation came and went in a blur of its own, the girl watched on as all her friends went off to college or settled into cozy desk jobs handed to them by their parents. But that wasn’t the life she wanted for herself. Packing nothing but a duffle bag full of clothes and other basic necessities, the first year after High School is spent traveling the country in her beatup pickup. It felt almost like a rite of passage to her; there were no rules, no expectations, only her and the open road. Other than coming home for the holidays, she saw no point in returning. Eventually her parents begin wondering when she’s going to come home for good, to the place she belongs, so she does. Her decision to enroll in the Fire Academy not long after that was met with hesitation from all sides, each person more against it than the last; but she had finally found something she was passionate about. The next three years are spent working under their Fire Department and attending courses in chemistry, communications, and computer science at the local community college.

the end of the world,

News of the spreading outbreak falls on deaf ears, Aiden’s usual amount of sarcasm painting the situation in a humorous light. For someone who had consumed her fair share of zombie media, it just seemed to be a practical joke. A well thought out, deliberate joke. Her parents play the news on loop in the living room, her siblings share stories passed on by friends from school. Things grow more grim as days pass, but she continues her day-to-day, refusing to allow herself to get swept up into the madness like everyone else. Her first encounter with the undead comes that night at work. It’s the standard fare they’re told, a house fire on third. Suited up and on the way, a new alert comes in on her phone: VIRUS SPREADING. TAKE NECESSARY PRECAUTIONS. She never checks it. The woman whose house is on fire is inside, a bite in her neck, the rising flames lapping at her ankles as she reanimates before their eyes. At first they assume she’d passed out from a combination of stress and the fumes, but reality sets in as their questions are answered with groans and a nearly successful attempt at taking a bite out of her colleagues shoulder. The material on their suits is thick enough to keep them from easily being infected, but she doesn’t think twice as she buries the brunt of her axe in the woman’s skull.

It is her refusal to acknowledge that the virus was real that hurt the people she loved the most, the first wave of undead leaving only her, her mother, and two of her siblings in the wake of a disintegrating world. A family of ten turns to a family of four. Aiden’s mother is a proud woman who stops for no one. Before long, word spreads that groups were forming within their general area, survivors coming together to build a better tomorrow — or at the very least to give themselves a better shot at making it that long. Aiden is the first to suggest they go. She doesn’t want to take the chance that they run out of resources, get trapped within the confines of their own house, etc. but her mother is hesitant. It takes time, weeks even, to convince her, and when she finally agrees they end up setting their sights on the Ailton Tower. While not the safest place to take up residence, her siblings would always be entertained and have a better shot at having a somewhat normal childhood, whatever that may be. They make it about halfway when they’re ambushed by a pair of walkers that’d been tailing them through through the forest. Axe in hand and a determination to protect what’s left of her family, the woman steps up, but falls short. Her mother sacrifices herself for her children and she is left with yet another gaping hole in her heart.

Another loss, another family member taken from her. Believing her mother’s initial refusal to join a group to be a sign, Aiden gathers the kids and they return home without a second glance. There’s no grieving, not when you have two people to look after. Bit by bit she reassembles herself though this responsibility, and with that her will to live. Pushing through the pain, she pulls on the denim jacket her father always used to wear and sets to work fortifying their home. Already fenced and two stories, it makes for a decent place to stay. The only way in and out is over, which comes in handy when faced with people looking to loot their already low supplies. The defense on the property is holding up well enough, but only just, and all it would take was a group big enough coming through to crash through their main source of protection. From that, the majority of her days are spent picking the neighborhood clean, going house by house to take whatever she’s able to find. Most of their former occupants are gone, whether by choice to leave or because the dead got them — she suspects the ones that were foolish enough to leave weren’t much better off.

Beyond the typical issues of someone fighting for survival in the midst of the apocalypse, finding the medication she needs has become increasingly difficult. Adderall isn’t a necessity, no, but it does keep her focused. Lacking the resolve to keep her mind and body from being jittery without it, the woman worries for the day she’s no longer able to get her hands on it. Not to mention that being so active means burning through inhalers, which have become as valuable to her as gold in their new world. If she can’t take care of herself, there’s no hope for her siblings. Most pharmacy’s have been picked dry and very little remains from her own visits Because of this, she’s a frequent barterer among the Toledo Bend residents, mostly paying visits to the saints and camp Serotonin, hoping she’ll be able to get her hands on the things she needs. If this means going without food some days so that her siblings are well provided for, that’s a chance she’s willing to take. At the end of the day it’s her and them against the world, no matter the consequences.

misc,

Her bio was honestly too long, so I’m not gonna put too much in here as of right now, but she’s just!!!! my little trash baby and definitely my favorite character I’ve played to date.

MBTI: ENTP(-T)

MORAL ALIGNMENT: neutral

SIN: wrath

CHARACTER INSPO: Nick Miller, Chandler Bing, Rosita Espinosa, April Ludgate,

CHARACTER TROPES: Pint-sized powerhouse, brilliant, but lazy, defrosting ice queen, hidden heart of gold, sugar-and-ice personality, they’re just a handful lmao.

connections,

Uh, LITERALLY ANYTHING, but like here’s a few potential ideas!!

Friends/unlikely friends

Enemies/ex-friends/rivals

Ex(es)

Fwb or a fling

Good influence, lord knows the girl REALLY needs one

Alternately, a bad influence, someone who brings out the worst parts of her

Someone she just generally cares about, even if she won’t readily admit it to anyone but them

And honestly, i’d really love someone she trusts wholeheartedly, which in turn extends to her sharing the whereabouts or her twin brothers in the event that something happens to her ( this is a big, big one !!! )

Just anything, pls!!

#toxinintro #temp about tag.#i'm!!!! sorry for her she's a lot #this intro is too #jfc i tried but i couldn't cut the bio down much at all

8 notes · View notes

johnnq · 5 years

Text

want

laying lazily on the couch in your living room, you tapped away at your phone screen as you barely registered the movie in the background that you had put on, let alone the small and desperate attempts your boyfriend, mark made to get your undivided attention.

he'd been doing it all day - trying to get your attention. it started off small, poking you, kissing you in every place possible on your face, making noise in the other room to distract you; but ended in going as far as deliberately burning himself while he made lunch for you both so you'd come out from the realms of your phone and to his aid. he wanted you to pay attention to him and you knew it.

mark was the clingy type. a boyfriend who required constant small little validations, mostly involving loving acts such as forehead kisses, cheek kisses, holding hands and generally having you let him know you were important to him. but one thing he wasn't, was desperate.

until today, when for some reason he had decided that he would do everything in his power to get the attention he craved no matter what he had to do in order to get it, and that he would incessantly push the notion until you caved. so far though, you'd been cuddled under the blanket you took from your shared bedroom, and had stayed there for half the day even after mark made you eggs as a half-assed offering he hoped would butter you up a little. unfortunately, it hadn't.

"b-baby, do you want to have sex today?" he asked innocently after handing it to you.

"not today mark, im too tired." you mumbled in response to him, too interested in your phone and the tv rather than him.

once he left to go and run a couple errands you couldn't quite believe just how much it was bothering him.

you didn't definitely know why today you had a particular spike of amusement seeing him get so frustrated over you blatantly ignoring all his efforts, but you figured it probably had something to do with the fact that since the early morning when he dragged his feet to the living room after waking up unbearably needy, he'd had a painfully persistent hard-on that seemed to only worsen whenever he was around you.

he was shy so he rarely said anything, and lucky for him you'd usually be the first to initiate sex because after all, you loved pleasing mark just as much as he liked to please you in return and you understood that he was less comfortable about sex than you, but today was about trying to see how long he could keep this game up for because god knows it was incredibly obvious he was running out of options.

finally almost admitting defeat, mark sighed and trapsed his way over from the kitchen where he'd just finished dishes, to you on the couch where he plopped down next to you and leaned on you reliantly, as you were still engrossed in your phone and your twitter feed.

"so.. whatcha doin'?" mark asked, his hand lightly touching your arm, and his head turning to try and see what you were doing as you looked up at him for a few seconds before continuing to scroll.

"twitter." you barely even utter, silence quickly following the one word answer. the way you had just killed the conversation with that one word answer was inevitably uncomfortable for the both of you as mark looked completely lost for words at how uninterested you were.

"what on twitter?" he hesitantly asked after an absurdly lengthy pause on both your parts, his hand coming up to hook into his hair as he tugged on it gently and sighed.

shifting your position as you felt yourself getting slightly restless, you shifted from having your legs crossed to just straight as you adjusted your blanket and poke your tongue out in concentration once you continue focusing on your phone.

finally realising you would need to answer him, you sighed, grinning to yourself knowing just how annoyed he was getting by the second.

"just you know, checking some of the guys tweets. it's been so long since i saw them all you know." you replied confidently, the smugness in your tone glaringly obvious by now.

"c'mon baby.. just look away from your phone for a few minutes. just, uh i don't know, play with my hair at least." he plead with you, bargaining at this point to gain anything he could from you.

you let out an annoyed breath, and forfeited.

"fine. come here." you conceded, patting the patch of couch next to you as he followed your instructions and rested his head there, allowing you to run your fingers through his hair and play with it, curling it absentmindedly.

"y/n?" he asked from next to you, motioning to his pants as you turned to look at him and his growing erection, the wet spot he had created earlier from his arousal still not completely dried.

poor boy, he didn't deserve all this teasing.

without a moment's hesitation, mark manoeuvred himself onto your lap, pulling the blanket off of your body and smiling to himself as he smiled down at you.

now this, this got your attention. it was unlike mark to be so forward and terse as he often opted to be more subtle with his hints as he knew you often picked up on them quite quickly. you very rapidly lifted your head up to look at him and smiled to yourself and him, tutting out loud as he bit his lip in response.

"oh, wow.. did i get the baby all worked up, huh? you must be absolutely begging for it if you're getting on your knees for me that easily." you let the words roll of your tongue as your dominant side cames out, causing mark to blush outwardly and let out a small whine.

"i've been waiting all day baby.. ALL day, and my cocks been so h-hard for you and i tried so hard to get rid of it in the bathroom earlier b-but you look so sexy with your hair up like that and i-i had a dream about you last night.. and i-i-" he whined to you, as you covered his mouth and hushed him, absolutely loving how he was stuttering already and practically begging for you to do something, anything to relieve the tension in his ever tightening pants.

"first of all; it's not baby, it's mommy. and second of all, use your words babyboy. tell mommy what you want her to do to you." at this, mark let out a sigh of relief and giggled at the difference in tone from how you were just minutes earlier, and leaned forward a little thinking to himself.

"c-can i.. ride your thigh mommy? i know it's weird and probably really pathetic b-but I need to cum quickly, it h-hurts being this hard for so long."

and he wasn't even lying, either. you knew that he had been hard all day and that from your own experience, being turnt on for that long could hurt if not dealt with, so you decided that you would give him this, just the simple act he asked for if it meant he'd get off you and leave you in peace.

you sighed and smiled, a playful bite of your lip following. "..okay. but, you can't touch me, ask me to touch you, and you have to cum in your pants only. got it?"

before you could even finish your sentence mark was already hurriedly nodding his head as you could see in his eyes just how excited your statement got him, and that despite the rules you layed out he was just as grateful as ever.

"y-yes mommy, thank you so much." he breathed out weakly as he looked down at your thigh exposed completely for his use, no pants to keep a barrier between his clothed cock and you since you were wearing sleep shorts.

"good, now" you motioned to your thigh and gave him a stern look, looking at his pants again and seeing him blush a deep crimson.

"ride my thigh like the little puppy you are."

without anything other than that, mark positioned himself straddling your thigh, and made quick work of relieving himself as he began to move back and forth in a rhythmic motion, the feeling of his cock rubbing against you as he gripped onto the couch for support, beautifully submissive whimpers and moans overflowing from his little mouth as he could barely contain his excitement and pleasure.

watching him chasing his own high, not caring about anything else got you deliciously aroused even if you knew the moment would be short-lived by the loudness and consistency of his sounds, you barely managed to keep your composure and the dominant facade you often played at the forefront as you scrolled through your twitter feed once again while mark humped and gyrated against your thigh like his life depended on it.

"f-fuck g-ah.. bab- i mean mommy, it feels so good." he told you, his tone shaky and unpredictable as he could barely control the pitch and loudness of his voice as he sped up and let out more and more sounds.

"i know babyboy, i can see by how needy the sounds coming from you are and that wet spot your needy little cock is making on my thigh? you love being mommy's little puppy don't you? humping her leg like the obedient little slut you are, so messy." you goaded him further, feeding into his fantasy as he only moaned in response nodding vehemently and allowed the beads of sweat now forming on his forehead to drip down completely.

he spent around 5 minutes doing this until he began to throb against your thigh quite obviously and he whispered to you that he was going to cum. by now, the wet spot and the substance had dripped further down you as he continued to move against it without a single worry, and for you it kept getting gradually harder and harder to pretend that you didn't want him to milk his cock all over you as he whined and moaned your name.

with every moan or whimper that he conjured, his cock was throbbing and moving more and you could just tell that his orgasm was approaching fast.

"is the little puppy gonna cum all over himself in his pants, hmm?" you teased, using your hand to grip his lower face and turn his view to you, knowing full well that he could barely form coherent sentences at that moment and loving it.

"this is the first time you've been this quiet all day babyboy, is my thigh really making you feel that good?" you continue to tease, seeing him screw his eyes shut and a grunt leave his lip.

"im cumming, y/n.. for y-you." he moans pathetically.

in mere seconds he's reduced to a screaming, writhing and sensitive mess as his orgasm washes over him like a wave, and his cock erupts generous amounts of warm into his boxers as he thanks you for being so lenient on him.

he almost immediately afterwards flops down next to you exhausted, breathing heavy and laboured as he kisses you on the cheek.

"i would say that im up for a second round but by the looks of you, you'll be lucky if you can catch your breathe properly." you joked with him.

"hey! you're the one who left me all day!" he spat back, looking at you in disbelief.

"i know i know, and im sorry for being so mean." you told him, lifting your head gently and changing position again not paying much attention to the wetness on your thigh still.

"the question is though, is a second round on the menu?"

138 notes · View notes

poisonichors · 5 years

Text

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ taylor hill + cisfemale + she/her — have you seen valery ‘val’ kashnikova? they sure have been hanging out at valdez county park a lot recently. they are a twenty-one year old known as the uncertainty principle*, and they currently work for the savages as a soldier, which they’ve been doing for five months. a heterosexual taurus, they are determined + independent, as well as stubborn + two-sided. thorns on a rose, lips against a loaded barrel, the moon cradled in tufts of white. × lacey. twenty-one. she/her. est. ×

* ❝ THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE articulated, in 1927 by the German physicist Werner Heisenberg, that the position and the velocity of an object cannot both be measured exactly, at the same time, even in theory. ❞

throwz this post on2 th dash like a shit flingin monkey hENLO i’m lacey bt u may also refer 2 me as? mr steal yo girl cos i will kindly respond 2 both ty

also i am so sorry for those of you who have to read this bible if u dont wanna read the whole thing its totally ok i’d jst cover the personality n valdez sections ja feel

plots and stats pages will be coming soon but until then!! click that heart button and i’ll hurl myself full force into those DMs whether you like it or not

ANYWAYS HERE’S VAL!! MY BADDEST BABE OF EM ALL

so, the breakdown.

VAL KASHNIKOVA

Valery is the poster girl of a family based off money and status. Her father who fronts as an owner of establishments on Wall Street also operates as the undercover head of a Russian mafia syndicate. Her mother is an ex-model, now focusing on the social aspect of the family.

Her mother consistently pushes her to play the role of the socialite’s perfect daughter, and prospective wife. Shoulders back, chin up, tummy in. Smile, Valery. No one wants to marry a scowling woman.

According to her mother, Valery’s sole purpose was to marry into another family of money. Valery was taught to walk, talk, and breathe etiquette growing up. The wife of a rich man must not be outspoken, opinionated, or insubordinate. She must always do as told, and with a smile on her face.

Being an only child, Valery finds it increasingly difficult to do anything but what she is asked of her parents. Choices were always made for Val before she could open her mouth; which remains the prime reason as to why she has such a tough time deciding things for herself, no matter how small.

She always feels the need to appease her parents, now that she’s all they have left. After Mikhail passed away, that is.

MIKHAIL KASHNIKOV

Mikhail was Val’s older brother of four years. He was the favorite, seeing that he excelled in everything he did. Valery was inevitably compared to her brother, growing up. Being neglected didn’t bother her as much as seeing Mikhail take on all the responsibility of carrying on the Kashnikov name.

One sibling had to deal with all the pressure while the other child was merely pushed away. An unlikely bond was shared between the two of them, despite being in polar opposite positions. Mikhail gave Valery the affection she was denied from their parents while Val was Mikhail’s escape from the world of law and politics. This shaped a very close bond.

Mikhail was a good influence on Valery to say the least. Though she’s independent in nature, Mikhail was always there to guide her through agonizing public events, seemingly impossible assignments, or give her advice through trying times. Valery could easily say that her brother raised her more than her parents ever did.

Most would say that Mikhail was incredibly protective of Valery, but only few truly knew that she was just as protective of him. In the midst of superficial families and business deals beyond them, Mikhail would always find them ways to run up to the roof and act their age like they very much deserved. It was only during times like these which made Valery’s childhood actually feel like childhood.

IN LOVING MEMORY

On his way home from a friend’s party, Mikhail’s Bentley was severely hit by an oncoming car. Word returned that a member of their rival mob deliberately drove into her brother’s vehicle.

Mikhail was rushed to the hospital and tended to by the best doctors in the country, but it was to no avail.

Mikhail Kashnikov, 22, was pronounced dead on August 29th, 2015.

After learning what had happened to her brother, Valery, age 18, stepped in and was immediately taken under her father’s wing to train and avenge his death. She slowly turned into a fighting machine driven purely by hatred and an insatiable need for vengeance.

SEPTEMBER 2015 - AUGUST 2018

She trained heavily with weapons, only needing two year’s time to become a skilled marksman and know her way around guns and knives (which are her specialty). She’s basically good at anything that requires a target. Hand-to-hand combat could use some work, but Val is never one to leave home without a weapon of self-defense on her person.

Valery operated more as a decoy when she first began, simply gaining trust and seducing information from rivals. As her confidence with firearms and blades grew, she gradually began to carry out more gruesome tasks, thus leveling up in her field. Jobs always were a little easier for Val than the other men. Besides, who would've thought a pretty girl knew how to use a gun?

TRIPLE-THREAT

The only part of growing up that Valery didn’t mind was learning music ━ let it be singing, dancing, or playing an instrument.

Dancing operated more as a front for combat and other agile ways. However, it slowly blossomed into a passion she shares heavily with singing and playing the piano.

Mikhail would play the piano while Valery sang along, they almost found comfort in such a cheesy activity. To this day, everything Valery knows on the piano is because of him. She sometimes likes to take private trips to it; she finds an odd comfort in the belief that when she plays the piano and sings, he can still hear her.

VALDEZ

Valery ’s family has shared an amicable bond with the Savages for years. Upon news of the outbreak in Valdez, the twenty-one year old was sent to serve the Caitos as a symbol of Kashnikov support. This isn’t out of the ordinary, seeing that Val’s training included working under other alliances to gain combat experience and further networking.

Val’s current rank is a Soldier in the Savages. She’s only been there for five months, so she’s diligently working on gaining trust through carrying out tasks and slowly making her way up the ladder.

The Kashnikova’s only condition is that she is allowed to conceal her visage when operating. She’s not open to showing her face around Savage halls and prefers to seek cover as a civilian when out in public. She prefers that very limited people know of her identity as a Soldier (maybe if you’d like to snatch up a plot about that?), which proves the importance of her saving face when not on the job.

PERSONALITY (HER FRONT)

Valery, finally away from home and family for the first time, is beginning to find herself. She’s naive and wide-eyed, seeing that she was always under direct authority and her choices were always made for her. A small fish in a big pond, if you will.

Despite not having many prior experiences, the brunette is very playful and open to new things. This makes her quite impressionable, seeing that she always chooses to see the best in people and has a hard time telling when someone doesn’t have her best interest in mind. Nonetheless, all she wants is to have fun! Bringing a smile to her company’s face is of utmost importance to her.

You can find her hanging out in Valdez County Park during the day. She can be seen either feeding the animals, teaching yoga, or trying her hand at some new instruments.

THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE

so the reason i gave her this label was because while she has two personalities, it’s impossible to pinpoint who she really is or at what point she’s transitioning from one mentality to the next. I decided it was a good play on the chem theory insert collective groan here, seeing that there’s no telling if she’s just being nice or has an ulterior motive. while it’s stated above that its a “front”, it’s more so her just trying to go back to being her normal self before her life in the mafia and crime syndicates. this causes a constant teetering back and forth between how she identifies herself in varying scenarios.

PERSONALITY (ON THE JOB)

Valery can be cold and calculated if need be, just how she was back home. Her work comes first and foremost to anything else. Fooling around isn’t in her nature when it comes to tasks at hand.

Her forté includes destruction of property, extraction of information, seizure, arson, armed combat, and termination.

uhhHh still figuring her out

omg figuring almost was fingering i cried a little bye

#outlaw.intro #finger guns my way off the dash to set up som pages wAho #gang tw #death tw #gun tw #knife tw

10 notes · View notes

orbemnews · 3 years

Link

General Motors Reports $3 Billion Profit Despite Chip Shortage: Live Updates Here’s what you need to know: General Motors said it made a $3 billion profit in the first three months of the year, but warned that its profit would be significantly smaller in the second quarter because of a global shortage computer chips. Last year, G.M. made a profit of just $294 million in the first quarter as the coronavirus pandemic took hold and shut down much of the global economy. The company forecasts net income for the first half of the year would total about $3.5 billion, implying a profit of around $500 million in the second quarter. It said it expected a rebound in the second half and predicted net income for the full year to range from $6.8 billion to $7.6 billion. “This remains a challenging period for the company as we emerge from 2020, but the team continues to demonstrate its ability to manage complex situations,” G.M.’s chief executive, Mary Barra, said in a letter to shareholders. Separately, Stellantis, the company formed by the merger of Peugeot SA and Fiat Chrysler, reported revenue of 34 billion euros ($41 billion) since the merger was completed on Jan. 17. Had the merger been completed earlier, the new company’s revenue for the full first quarter would have been 37 billion euros, up 14 percent over the same period a year ago. Stellantis said its production in the first quarter was 11 percent lower than planned because of the chip shortage, and it also warned that the second quarter would be weaker than the first. Diners in Milan, Italy, last month. New data showed growth in the eurozone’s economy, including its services sector.Credit…Alessandro Grassani for The New York Times Futures on Wall Street pointed higher on Wednesday, European stock indexes rose and oil prices continued to climb, as fresh data seemed to underscore growing confidence in an economic revival this year. S&P 500 futures were 0.5 percent higher, and the Stoxx Europe 600 index rose 1.4 percent. The FTSE 100 in Britain rose 1.2 percent. The upward trajectory came after Treasury Secretary Janet L. Yellen on Tuesday surprised the markets by commenting that higher interest may be needed to prevent the United States economy from overheating. The S&P 500 fell, but gained back some of that ground through the afternoon. Interest rate policies are the purview of the Federal Reserve, not the Treasury. Ms. Yellen later said she was not recommending a rate hike and pointed out that she, as a former Fed chair (a post she held from 2014 to 2018), appreciated the central bank’s independence. In oil markets, Brent crude gained 1.1 percent, to $69.61 a barrel, and West Texas Intermediate rose 1 percent to $66.32 a barrel. European economy New data on the European economy from IHS Markit reflected continued strengthening. The eurozone composite purchasing managers’ index (PMI) for April grew for the second consecutive month. Significantly, the service sector grew after seven months of contraction. “The updated services PMIs for April confirmed that the worst for the eurozone economy should be over,” said Nicola Nobile, the lead eurozone economist for Oxford Economics, in a note to clients. “The vaccination progress and the gradual reopening of some of the economies point to” an increase in economic output already underway, she added. More chip worries Stellantis, the name for the merger of Fiat Chrysler and PSA, the maker of Peugeot, said the semiconductor shortage caused an 11 percent decline in production of automobiles in the first quarter, representing about 190,000 vehicles. Dealer inventories were down in all areas, “primarily due to the semiconductor shortage,” the company said. Despite that, Stellantis reported net revenue up 14 percent. Shares gained 3 percent in European trading. Dogecoin, the cryptocurrency that started as a joke, is on a tear. A surge in the past day pushed it to another record, sending it some 14,000 percent higher than it started the year. One theory is that the upcoming appearance of Elon Musk, the Tesla chief executive and noted Dogecoin superfan, as the host of “Saturday Night Live” on May 8 could get more people interested in trading the crypto token. It’s as good a reason as any for those who try to rationalize its movements. The latest bout of Dogecoin mania has somewhat overshadowed what’s going on in Ethereum, the second-largest cryptocurrency, which also set records this week and made its 27-year-old co-creator, Vitalik Buterin, a billionaire (in dollars). The price of Ether, the crypto token built on the Ethereum blockchain, is up more than 350 percent for the year to date, outpacing Bitcoin’s relatively pedestrian 90 percent gain — which, for context, outpaces every stock in the S&P 500 over that period. Facebook banned President Donald J. Trump after he used social media accounts to incite a mob of supporters to attack the Capitol on Jan. 6.Credit…Erin Schaff/The New York Times Facebook has scheduled an announcement for 9 a.m. Eastern time Wednesday on whether former President Donald J. Trump can regain access to his account on the site. The decision will come from an independent panel called the Facebook Oversight Board. The board is a panel of about 20 former political leaders, human rights activists and journalists picked by Facebook to deliberate the company’s content decisions, Cecilia Kang reports for The New York Times. It began a year ago and is based in London. The idea for the board was for the public to have a way to appeal decisions by Facebook to remove content that violates its policies against harmful and hateful posts. Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook’s C.E.O., has said neither he nor the company wanted to have the final decision on speech. The company and paid members of the panel stress that the board is independent. But Facebook funds the board with a $130 million trust and top executives played a big role in its formation. So far the board has issued a handful of decisions on minor takedowns by Facebook. The majority of the rulings have overturned Facebook’s decisions. The board will tell Facebook to remove the ban of Mr. Trump, or to keep it. The ruling may also come with more nuance. The board could say that the ban of was appropriate at the time but is no longer necessary, or that the ban was the wrong decision from the start. The company then has seven days to put the board’s ruling into effect. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation in Seattle. Its $50 billion endowment cannot be removed or divided up as a marital asset, a philanthropy scholar said.Credit…David Ryder/Getty Images When Bill and Melinda Gates announced filed for divorce in Washington State on Monday, grant recipients and staff members alike wondered what would happen to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. The message from the headquarters in Seattle was clear: The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation isn’t going anywhere. The foundation’s $50 billion endowment is in a charitable trust that is irrevocable, Nicholas Kulish reports for The New York Times. It cannot be removed or divided up as a marital asset, said Megan Tompkins-Stange, a professor of public policy and scholar of philanthropy at the University of Michigan. She noted, however, that there was no legal mandate that would prevent them from changing course. “I think there may be changes to come,” she said. “But I don’t see it as a big asteroid landing on the field of philanthropy as some of the hyperbole around this has indicated.” The foundation, which set a new standard for private philanthropy in the 21st century, has given away nearly $55 billion, giving the couple instant access to heads of state and leaders of industry. The couple’s prominence has also brought a fair share of scrutiny, throwing a spotlight on Mr. Gates’s robust defense of intellectual property rights — in this case, specific to vaccine patents — even in a time of extreme crisis, as well as the larger question of how unelected wealthy individuals can play such an outsize part on the global stage. “In a civil society that is democratic, one couple’s personal choices shouldn’t lead university research centers, service providers and nonprofits to really question whether they’ll be able to continue,” said Maribel Morey, founding executive director of the Miami Institute for the Social Sciences. President Biden signing a law in March to extend the Paycheck Protection Program through May 31, with Vice President Kamala Harris, left, and Isabel Guzman, the administrator of the Small Business Administration.Credit…Doug Mills/The New York Times Four weeks before its scheduled end, the federal government’s signature aid effort for small business ravaged by the pandemic — the Paycheck Protection Program — ran out of funding on Tuesday afternoon and stopped accepting most new applications. Congress allocated $292 billion to fund the program’s most recent round of loans. Nearly all of that money has now been exhausted, the Small Business Administration, which runs the program, told lenders and their trade groups on Tuesday. (An earlier version of this item misstated that the actions it described occurred Wednesday.) While many had predicted that the program would run out of funds before its May 31 application deadline, the exact timing came as a surprise to many lenders. “It is our understanding that lenders are now getting a message through the portal that loans cannot be originated,” the National Association of Government Guaranteed Lenders, a trade group, wrote in an alert to its members Tuesday evening. “The P.P.P. general fund is closed to new applications.” Some money — around $8 billion — is still available through a set-aside for community financial institutions, which generally focus on lending to businesses run by women, minorities and other underserved communities. Those lenders will be allowed to process applications until that money runs out, according to the trade group’s alert. Representatives from the Small Business Administration did not immediately respond to a request for comment. Some money also remains available for lenders to finish processing pending applications, according to a lender who was on a call with S.B.A. officials on Tuesday. Since its creation last year, the Paycheck Protection Program has disbursed $780 billion in forgivable loans to fund 10.7 million applications, according to the latest government data. Congress renewed the program in December’s relief bill, expanding the pool of eligible applicants and allowing the hardest-hit businesses to return for a second loan. Lawmakers in March extended the program’s deadline to May, but they have shown little enthusiasm for adding significantly more money to its coffers. With vaccination rates increasing and pandemic restrictions easing, Congress’s focus on large-scale relief effort for small businesses has waned. The government’s recent efforts have been focused on the most devastated industries. Two new grant programs run by the Small Business Administration — for businesses in the live-events and restaurant industries — began accepting applications in recent weeks, though no grants have yet been awarded. Tim Sweeney, the head of Epic Games, on Tuesday in Oakland, Calif. He testified in court that he did not know how a verdict against Apple would affect other types of apps.Credit…Ethan Swope/Getty Images Last May, Epic Games was making plans to circumvent Apple’s and Google’s app store rules and ultimately sue them in cases that could reshape the entire app economy and have profound ripple effects on antitrust investigations around the world. Epic’s chief operating officer, Daniel Vogel, sent other executives an email raising a concern: Epic must persuade Apple and Google to give in to its demands for looser rules, he wrote, “without us looking like the baddies.” Apple and Google, Mr. Vogel warned, “will treat this as an existential threat.” To prepare, Epic formed a public relations and marketing plan to get the public behind its campaign against the tech giants. Apple seized on that plan in a federal courtroom in Oakland, Calif., on Tuesday, the second day of what is expected to be a three-week trial stemming from Epic’s claims that Apple relies on its control of its App Store to unfairly squeeze money out of other companies. Judge Yvonne Gonzales Rogers of California’s Northern District, who will decide the case, also asked Epic’s chief executive, Tim Sweeney, a series of pointed questions about its potential consequences. She asked whether he had any understanding of the economics of other types of apps, including food, maps, GPS, weather, dating or instant messaging. “So you don’t have any idea how what you are asking for would impact any of the developers who engage in those other categories of apps, is that right?” the judge asked. “I personally do not,” Mr. Sweeney said, in his second day on the witness stand. Apple’s lawyers argued that Epic had attacked App Store fees to shore up a slowing business. Gross revenue on Fortnite, Epic’s flagship video game, shrank in the last three quarters of 2019 compared with 2018, according to an Epic presentation to its board of directors about its plan to fight Apple. The presentation was disclosed in court on Tuesday, along with the executive’s emails. Under questioning from Apple’s lawyers, Mr. Sweeney said Epic’s own game store was not expected to turn a profit until at least 2024. Epic’s lawyers said the lawsuit was not just about Epic and Fortnite but about fairness for all apps that must use Apple’s App Store to reach consumers. “Our contention in this case is that all apps are at issue,” said Katherine Forrest, a lawyer at Cravath, Swaine & Moore. Epic is not asking for a payout if it wins the trial; it is seeking relief in the form of changes to App Store rules. Epic has asked Apple to allow app developers to use other methods to collect payments and open their own app stores within their apps. Apple has countered that these demands would raise a world of new issues, including making iPhones less secure. On Tuesday afternoon, Benjamin Simon, founder of Yoga Buddhi, which makes the Down Dog Yoga app, testified about his company’s problems with Apple’s policies. Mr. Simon said that he had to charge more for subscriptions on the App Store to make up for the 30 percent fee that Apple charged him, and that Apple’s rules prevented him from promoting inside his app a cheaper price that is available on the web. Mr. Simon said Apple warned app developers against speaking out about its policies in guidelines for getting their apps approved. “‘If you run to the press and trash us, it never helps,’” he said. “That was in the guidelines.” Source link Orbem News #Billion #Chip #general #Live #Motors #Profit #reports #shortage #Updates

0 notes

zipgrowth · 6 years

Text

Strong Conferencing Practices Help Kindergarteners Learn to Advocate for Themselves

As I turned the page of the big book, I glanced over at Peter and could see he was lost. I was conducting a choral reading activity with a small group of students and Peter’s mouth had stopped moving; his eyes were glazed over. He had started kindergarten slightly below grade level in literacy, but after a few months of foundational work, he was able to decode CVC (consonant-vowel-consonant) words like “cat.” Peter was getting hung up on words that didn’t follow that pattern—he couldn’t apply what he had learned to new words on the fly.

“Everyone continue reading,” I said as I calmly slid around to the part of the rug where he sat. I knelt down, and he looked at me and whispered, “I don’t know all the words.” I began reminding him of some strategies he could try if he got stuck in a quiet voice. “Make the sound of the first letter of each word and skate through it, slowly blending the sounds together to make a word.” I modeled this a few times for Peter, gave him a chance to practice it on his own and scaffolded support as necessary.

Soon Peter was smiling again, not because he could suddenly decode any word he saw, but because he felt seen and heard. Instead of trying to make himself invisible, he was making eye contact with me as he pushed himself to continue reading with his peers.

In my classroom, sometimes conferencing is a formal interaction—something I plan for in advance with a particular student. These scheduled conferences give me the chance to “talk data” with my kindergarteners. I usually hold them monthly after each curriculum-based benchmark assessment. During these 5-minute check-ins, I meet with each student individually to discuss their progress and any areas for growth, and I give each student an opportunity to share how they think they did on the benchmark and why. Over the course of the year, they learn to verbalize their reasoning. “It was hard because there were words I couldn’t read” or “This time, I was able to sound out most of the words.”

More often though, I find myself engaging with students one-to-one in unplanned moments when they need support, taking a student to the side and providing guidance when they need it. In many cases, these are fleeting moments that might even go unnoticed by an observer—but when they are effective, these moments can change a child’s day.

Regardless of the purpose of the conference, in order to be effective, trust is key, so I need to build a strong relationship with all of my students and be aware of their strengths and weaknesses. That sets me up to make sure my time with each child positively impacts their learning.

This school year, I have the privilege of teaching a group of students who, for the most part, entered kindergarten ready to learn grade-level skills. Although the majority of my students were ready for school academically, many of them had non-academic areas for growth such as self-confidence, motivation and independence. For young learners, one-on-one conferences throughout the year can be a powerful tool that goes beyond academics.

Teaching kindergarteners is a uniquely special, yet complex opportunity. Most five and six-year olds have imaginations that run wild, creativity that flows constantly and a great enthusiasm for learning. But there are also challenges that make conferencing with this age group difficult. Attention spans are still developing and students enter the classroom with a diverse set of readiness skills.

Perhaps the greatest struggle is that often times, especially at the beginning of the school year, these young learners are unable to verbalize what they need support with. Peter was able to communicate to me that he needed support on the choral reading activity by telling me that he was getting stuck on the words, but that’s not always how it goes.

One of Peter’s classmates Tammy was showing signs of frustration while reading independently, so I sat down at her table to talk to her about it. She had entered kindergarten above grade-level reading simple sight words and had progressed to read more complex words fluently. When I asked her what was wrong, she didn’t have a response. She couldn’t communicate that she didn’t believe in her ability to solve her own problems independently. Getting to know Tammy throughout the year, I noticed that she was not confident in reading independently; she needed constant reassurance that she was reading correctly to stay on track.

In an effort to motivate her to work independently, I reassured her that she was a strong reader and problem solver and that she could face any word she didn’t recognize. We talked about context clues and identifying whether words make sense in the context of the particular story. We came up with two instances when she might really need my help and some examples of problems she could solve on her own so I could gradually release my constant feedback.

This conference prompted Tammy to take charge of her own learning and to take some risks when it comes to reading. As the week progressed, Tammy gained confidence. She used the strategies we worked on together but also began to find some of her own. She realized that pictures could help her understand the context of a story, and started to notice the importance of “deliberate practice” when reading in order to obtain fluency.

Even though my goal is for students to take a leadership role during conferences, it’s not possible in every instance. With Tammy, I initially had to take control and guide our discussion, but was quickly able to ask probing questions to allow her to understand herself more deeply so that she could begin sitting in the driver’s seat of the conversation. Over time, she got better at vocalizing her needs and applying what we talked about during our time together.

Kindergarten is a critical time for learners, and it’s about more than read-alouds, play time and arts and crafts. Strong conferencing practices can do more than offer students an opportunity to understand how they scored on assessments. These scheduled and unplanned conversations can help our youngest learners feel safe and supported so they can build confidence, and can help them develop self-reflection and communication skills that will prepare them to advocate for themselves as they grow.

Strong Conferencing Practices Help Kindergarteners Learn to Advocate for Themselves published first on https://medium.com/@GetNewDLBusiness

0 notes