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marksmelodies · 6 months

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out of everything i love you the most

idol renjun x fem reader

angst/fluff

warnings: cursing, kissing

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“y/n im not going to say it again let’s go” renjun stands at the entrance of your shared apartment with one foot out the door. you two had plans to go on a night trip with the dreamies to busan

“ geez i’m coming just one second” you yell to him from the bathroom,you underestimated how long it would take you to get ready, even though your boyfriend tried to tell you to get ready earlier you refused thinking you had enough time, and now you’re running late,as you rush to apply the rest of your makeup you hear him yelling at you again “ i’m gonna leave without your ass if you’re not out the door in five seconds. five, four, three-”

“ okay im done” you say spraying perfume and running out the door

you both run through the train station frantically trying to find your train as renjun continues to yell at you for making him late and not being able to find the right train,finally as you enter your train you look around to find the boys all sitting together

“ it’s about time, my god i didn’t think you were going to make it” jeno says laughing

“ yeah you can thank her for that” renjun rolls his eyes looking at you, as the train begins to move you both sit down next to each other, you sigh looking out the window

“ give me the tickets for the art gallery i don’t trust you with them” you heard your boyfriend say, you look at him with wide eyes

“ oh my god i forgot them” you panic

“ are you fucking kidding me right now, i told you to get them and put them in your purse” he yells in a hushed tone

“ you were rushing me renjun i forgot”

“ i wouldn’t have rushed you if you had listened to me in the first place, what the hell are we going to do huh, we’re going all this way for the art gallery which is sold out, it’s not like we can re buy tickets”

you look at renjun with anger as he returns the same look back. you get up and move seats sitting by chenle,you look at your boyfriend who’s typing away on his phone

“ god i cant stand him sometimes” you say loud enough for him to hear as you look out the window

“ feelings mutual” he responds back to you

“ i feel like every time we hangout with you two you’re both fighting more times then not” haechan says looking at the two of you

“ dude shut up you’re not helping” mark smacks his arm,the rest of the ride was silent ,finally getting off of the train the group heads to the the gallery

“ i’m sorry babe i didn’t mean to cause this” you apologize attempting to hold his hand

“ get off of me” he pulls his hand out of yours walking faster leaving you behind, you take a deep breath trying not to cry as you tried to keep up with him

when you arrive to the art gallery you look at renjun not knowing what to do since you left your tickets at home

“you guys go ahead, we’ll find something else to do” renjun suggests

the boys try to come up with ideas to get you both into the gallery, jisung and jeno even offered their tickets but renjun refused

“ renjun walk slower please my legs are short” you yell to him, running to try and keep up

“what do you want to do, since you got us into this mess… ” he stops sitting at a bench looking to you

“ i don’t know”

“ if you’re going to keep moping around im leaving you here and going on my own”

“ fine id rather be alone then be with you right now” you say under your breath

“ god you’re such a brat”

you search on your phone for things to do around you

“ there’s a cable car we can go on and then maybe walk through the markets” renjun nods without looking at you as he gets a taxi

the ride there was quite, you had tried to get renjuns attention multiple times but it was clear that he was ignoring you

walking up to the ticket booth you try and beat renjun there so that you can buy the tickets. renjun steps in front of you cutting your place in line

“ babe i’m gonna buy them since you wasted your money on the tickets i forgot” you explain

“ no you’re not go sit down and wait for me” without wanting to argue anymore than you already are you follow his instructions and sit down on the bench waiting for him,at this point in the night you just want to go home, you’re tired, you’re anxious, and of course upset

renjun waves you down with the tickets in his hands

maybe sitting in a tiny space across from each other hundreds of feet in the air while in a fight wasn’t the best idea, the only sounds are cart moving on the cable and the city below you,you look up to your boyfriend who is sitting with his arms crossed looking out the window,sighing you get up moving to sit next to him wrapping your arms around him in a hug

he doesn’t react

“listen, i understand you’re mad, and you have the right to be, i know you were really looking forward to the art gallery and i feel horrible for leaving the tickets behind, i’m sorry for the way i reacted it was wrong and immature,i love you jun, i don’t want us to fight anymore” he looks over at you once you start sniffling

“ come on don’t cry” he wipes the tears away with his thumbs,taking your head leading it to his chest to hold you

“ it’s not your fault, i shouldn’t have blamed it on you, just because i asked you to grab the tickets dosent mean that i shouldn’t have double checked and make sure we had them before we left and…. i need to work on my temper, you don’t deserve me lashing out at you, i’m really sorry, i love you” he kisses your forehead “ and yeah i was looking forward to the art gallery but mostly i was looking forward to spending time with you” he rubs your back

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sorry this one is so short!! i hoped you enjoyed <3

#nct dream #nct dream fanfic #nct dream imagines #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct #nct scenarios #renjun fluff #renjun angst #renjun x reader #renjun #renjun imagines

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afro-hispwriter · 1 year

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SECRET

Ewan Mitchell, Tom Glynn-Carney, Matt Smith x actress!F!Reader(separate, not specified who, and they will only be referred to as He or his)

Summary- its a love behind closed doors

The premiere was huge, fans yelling, flashes of cameras and reporters trying to get the attentions of all the guests and cast.

"Y/N OVER HERE!"

"Y/N GIVE US A SMILE."

“JUST ONE PICTURE.”

Your manager led you to a clear walkway where photographers were lining up. You posed for a few seconds, eyes searching the crowd, looking at only a few cameras.

You knew he was staring already. With those perfect blue eyes, the blue eyes that make making your skin burn, made your body burn.

You locked eyes with him, but pulled away quickly.

You had to let him know you knew.

Your manager then les you over to an interviewer.

“Hi Y/n how are you!?” She asks and you smiled.

“Im doing great thanks for asking.”

“So you’re officially a rising star and have been named one of the actresses with the most potential, how does that feel?” She asks and you take in a deep breath.

He was there, right out the corner of your eye and he was getting close.

“Honestly it makes me feel really proud of myself, a lot of people said I wouldn’t make it but here I am.” You laughed awkwardly.

Closer

“Thats great to hear, now i have to ask. That kiss scene with-.” You immediately cut her off, feeling your body heat up.

“Oh yes, it was a very good kiss, my first on screen kiss, im quite happy it was him.”

He was maneuvered past people and thats when he passed by you. Your heart started racing and you couldn’t help but turn around. That asshole was already smirking at you. But it couldn’t help but make you stammer.

“S-Sorry about that.” You giggle and she couldn’t help but give you a knowing look. Your manager pulled you away again for more pictures.

“Its time to take a picture with-.”

“Fuck.” You mumbled as you watch him adjust his jacket and set his hands clasped together in front of him. It didn’t take long until he saw you and opened a hand out in your direction. You slowly stepped forward and wrapped an arm around his waist, but he instantly pulled you into a friendly hug(from the crowds view at least).

“You look absolutely gorgeous.” He whispered and you smiled into his shoulder.

“Thank you and you don’t look bad yourself.”

“Smile.” You turned and instantly posed with him. His hand that rested on your upper back had made its way down to rest on your tailbone, just above your ass.

“Careful.” You warned and he chuckled.

“I have always kept my relationships out of the media, I know what Im doing.” He says, having to lean down so you could hear. You walked together to another section. “Happy it was me?”

“Hmm.” You say still looking out to the cameras.

“That I was the one who kissed you.” His hand snaked around to rest on your side making your breath hitch. “Lets go inside.” He led you inside, keeping a hand on your lower back. He guided you through the people inside, only nodding at them in greeting before pushing you into a more secluded area(that area being a storage closet).

“You sir are getting much more bold.” You smile and wrap your arms around his neck.

“Can you blame me?” He pulled you in closely and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Let me kiss you.” He pushed his nose into your temple before starting to put kiss down your face, getting closer to your lips. He changed direction and kissed behind your ear, making your stomach flutter. You turned your head and he smirked before pushing his lips against yours.

You missed his lips so much

“We cant.” You mumble. “Not now.” Your threaded your fingers into his well done hair and his hands slipped down to grab yourself ass. He pulled back, letting your lips make a loud pop.

“We should leave right now to my hotel room, order in, got that movie you wanted to watch.”

“Tempting, I have an idea what we can do while we wait for food.” You looked him the eyes, giving him a sultry look to tell him what you mean. He bit his lip and your heard a deep groan in his throat.

“I like how you think.” He sealed your lips again and pushed you into the walk. He pushed his tongue in your mouth and let out a small gasp. He grabbed your ass again before lifting his hands and delivering a not so soft blow to your ass, making a slapping sound. You squealed and pulled away.

“Okay lets go.” You giggled and grabbed his hand and grabbed the door knob. He dropped your hand as you made it back through the crowds, putting on the innocent facade.

Secret relationships makes everything interesting.

A/n- first time trying something like this, send me a Ewan request

#ewan mitchell x reader #matt smith x reader #tom glynn carney x reader #ewan mitchell #matt smith #tom glynn carney #house of the dragon #hotd cast #actress!yn #famous!reader #black!reader #ewan mitchell x black!reader #matt smith x black!reader #tom glynn carney x black!reader

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mikalame · 8 months

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hiya!!! could you write a really sweet fic (story) about y/n and Bill getting a huge matching tattoo together and Bill being asked about this tattoo on an interview and he just gets really shy etc (could you make the reader female and a singer) please ?

bye :D

"Are you sure you want to do this meine leibe, this is gonna take a couple hours, and will hurt a bit being where it is" Bill asks, eyes searching your face for any sign you may not feel 100% about this, exspechily because its a tattoo that will be on you forever.

"Yes im sure Bill, I've researched and all plus ill ask for some numbing cream, are you okay bill" You ask thinking that the reason he keeps asking you if your okay is becasue he isn't.

"Of course, i cant wait" he says kissing your cheek giving you tight hug and pushing open the tattoo shop's door.

Time skip

"how are you feeling hun, you in any serious pain" Bill asks eyes scanning over you again looking down at you, eyebrows pinched.

"Im fine Billl" you whine playfulling pushing him away giggling.

You two smile at eachother and walk to your car you look at your forearm and the tattoo placed on it, the phantom pain of it comeig back to you but the pride and meaning of it over powers it.

Time skip again

"SO WELCOME..... TOKIO HOTEL!" the interveiwer yells at the camera, the crowd behind it full on fangirls and boys yell in exsitement waving their banners and posters around hoping to catch one of the band members attention.

As the band walks on the stage single file line they wave at the fans, the majority of them smiling wider and yelling louder, while the crazy super fans faint or start yelling not so innocent things (i dont blame them ahaha)

"Hello we are so happy to be on the show with you today" Bill says taking the mircophone from the interviewer so the audiance could hear them clearly.

"Well im glad, so today we have a couple questions to ask you, if thats all right with you all" She says looking over the band and seeing their nodding heads.

"Okay, great sooo the first question is from.... Marie asking if any of you have any big regrets in you career". She cocks an eyebrow then looks at the band, a smile on her face.

"Oh well uhm probably styling my hair with CANS of hairspray, kinda wish i just wore a wig but oh well" Bill says shrugging passing the mircophone along.

"Oh hahaha, Okay next question" She says smile dropping as she reads the next couple of questions out.

"Oooo okay this one is for Bill , aparently you were seen with ___ going into a tattoo parlor, do you care to show us what you got" she asks smirk stretching on her face.

"Oh, uhm no sorry" Bill says shaking his head in disagreement, but the interviwer just keeps on begging.

After a while it really started to get on him nerves, more so when she brought the audiance in on it as well, but bill just kept on saying no, blushing hinding if face.

The tattoo was very important to bill and he didnt feel like it should be made public like this, exspeachily when it had such a deep meaning for bill and ___.

"Oh, well sorry ladys and gentlemen thats all the time we have today, sorry i coldn't make bill show the new tattoo but mabey next time" she say fake smile still prominent on her face.

As the band walks of the stage fareing their good byes bill mutters under his voice.

"There wont be a 'next time'".

They all groan as they sit down in the tour bus, tom cracking his back as well as gustav. "She was real adamant on getting the tattoo shown" Georg laughs opening a bag of chips sitting down across from the boy.

"Yeah she need to learn to take no for an answer, she must be a real treat in bed" tom laughs sarcastically behind the two.

"mmh" bill agrees putting his headphones in listening to a song ___ and him made when he was staying at her house one of the first times they met thinking about calling her when they head off to check up on her.

SORRY GUYS I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END IT 😭.

taglist @oppopotamus @violentnewmarley @saumspam @adissonsss

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz fluff #bill kaulitz x reader #gustav schäfer #georg listing #tom kaulitz

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menelaiad · 6 months

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ik you've talked about it before but tumblr blog search on mobile sucks ass so if it's not too much of a bother could you redirect me to your posts on why you dislike emily wilson?

i've never made a post on it. but, here you go:

as a translator? i have no issues with her. her translations are pretty good. so her 'work' i don't have a problem with. don't get me wrong, sometimes i think she toes that dangerous line of 'women good. men bad. feminism.' black and white line very finely. it's a lot more subtle than most modern classicsts but yKNOW.

my issue comes from her introduction to the odyssey. so it's her introduction. her own thoughts. not a translation of something. or outside influence. HER introduction. she says:

The second is piled high with newly acquired treasure, brought by blustering, self-pitying Menelaus. As Menelaus pompously declares ... we meet the beautiful and frighteningly intelligent Helen back home in Sparta, with her wealthy, blustering, and rather less intelligent husband, Menelaus. ...and the rich, narcissistic, uxorious Menelaus.

she then, in book 4, translates the original text in which menelaus is NONE of these things. the only thing he's guilty of really, is the rich thing. cause telemachus is all like 'damn bro ur loaded'. but menelaus is not arrogant about it. he's not smug. he's not narcissistic. he literally says like 2 lines later that he would give away most of his wealth if it meant those who died at troy could come home.

'self-pitying' WHERE?! he cries because he feels GUILTY. the tears are not for him. they are the for the men who died at troy. i'm not getting quotes because it's literally in book fucking 4. he is NOT feeling sorry for himself he is MAD at himself for troy. the only thing i can THINK where he even links his tears to himself is because he says something like, 'every time i think of them i cry because i miss them all' or smth like that. he's not crying for HIM.

'rather less intelligent husband' - you know my feelings on this. menelaus is not stupid. helen is just very smart. and THATS FINE. i love helen being the brains, i'm not against a smart woman and her husband not being as smart. but like. because he doesnt recognise telemachus straight away? or the bird omen? he's stupid? really. we're gonna measure his WHOLE intelligence on that?

'uxorious'. menelaus loves his wife and that's pathetic and funny apparently? tell me. does she describe odysseus this way? hektor in the new iliad translation? i dont think so. 'excessive love their wife' that's what uxorious means. oh im sorry. forgiving ur wife and building a relationship with her and trying to move on together and being nice to her .... that excessive now??? thats??? bad???????

she literally takes menelaus' shining moments in the odyssey. him feeling guilty and remorseful. him showing how haunted he is by the war. him caring and loving helen despite everything. the fact that he is a compassionate. kind. loving man (in comparison to most homeric men) ----- and uses them to insult him. and it just GENUINLEY baffles me. because she wrote that introduction. and then four books later is ENTIRELY proven wrong? im so-----

dont get me wrong. some of this is just very pettty 'you're wrong about menelaus' anger. but some of it is BAFFLEMENT at the fact that she has this in her introduction, those are HER thoughts. and then when you actually get to the text of the odyssey from homer. she is wrong. cause she can't change those greek words too much. translation is a tricky mistress, sure. but she cant go and say 'then menelaus didnt care for those men' because that's just outright WRONG. she has to translate, as faithfully as she can, whats there. and whats there is NOT what she claimed in the introduction.

#negative //#long post //#i used this as an argument in my thesis #i feel like the 'less intellgient husband' quip is that like. men bad women amazing thing she does sometimes #when it can be. 'woman is amazing and smart. and man is not as intelligent but not a complete fucking loser'#is menelaus perfect? nooooo and i would never claim him to be #but dont use his actual positive attributes as INSULTS?! use the actual things wrong with him SDFGHJK #literally calls him a 'rich simp' and for that he's the worst man in the odyssy ever

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slayingqueenchal · 1 year

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Harry's twin sister? You're doomed, malfoy | Draco malfoy x y/n

I think this is my first time making a fic about Draco malfoy, but I've made some about the marauders, ill appreciate if u check it out :)

This story is basically about how Draco is in love with y/n, Harry's twin sister, and how hopeless he felt, but he didn't know something. That something is you like him too. Don't think of Harry's family line pls 😭. And draco here is soft and adorable.

3 years of dreading. 3 years of the boy you fell in love with bullying you. 3 years of Draco malfoy bullying you.

"Looking like Trevor, y/n, I personally think it suits you" Draco laughed along his friends. You wanted to push through and follow your friends but today was the last straw. You she'd a few tears- many to be exact.

You ran through the hallway. You went to the most uncrowded hallway. "I'm so stupid! " You said it out loud. You were stupid. How can you fall in love with such a dimwitted selfish git?

But it was too late, you loved him more than you love your self. "Y/n? " You heard a voice. You were buried with tears that you couldn't recognize the voice. It was definitely masculine, it was probably harry. "I don't want to talk right now, harry! " You cried more, hugging your growling book of monster.

"No, y/n, it's not harry, it's Draco.. " Draco came closer and kneeled to you. "You actually know my name, don't you Draco! It's not toad, or a lion, and even ugly-face! You know it! Why can't you just be nice for once, it's making.. Things for me more complicated! " You looked at him dead in the eyes.

"Y/n, sweatheart, im-" Draco said but you cut him off. "You cant say that, you're being mean. After all those years now you call me sweatheart? You know why I'm awful most of the time, it's not because of you, it's because the things you say hurts me, and deep down I know you don't mean all that stuff, I just know, you know what I don't know why I'm rambling about this to you, I'm just giving you materials for you to bully me" You almost screamed,but shortly after that you cried more. "Y/n, please, I'm sorry, please don't cry" What draco said was making you feel worse. It was impossible.

You stood up, and left him confused. It was a great timing since that was your last class, so you could just stay in your dorm as much as you liked.

When you opened the door, you saw the girls smiles fades. "Y/n, what's wrong? " Lavender asked. You didn't know such short words could trigger you that much. "Harry Ron and I have been searching for you, what happened? " Hermione asked. You layed on your bed before telling.

"It's Draco! He said that I looked like a toad, I thought I looked great today! And then he proceeds to say sorry and call me sweatheart! It's just that it's so unbelievable! It's so unbelievable cause Im in love with him.. I'm in love with him. " You cried. "Oh, my, y/n" Parvati gasped.

"And now Harry's going to be disappointed in me" You sighed. "He's not going to be disappointed in you, but he is going to be mad.. A-at Draco, though" Hermione Stuttered.

"After all this time? You were in love with him? " Pavarti asked. "Yes, yes, all this time, and I hate my self for it" You said

Harry knew. After Hermione told Ron and Ron told Harry. The next morning, he immediately came for malfoy. "You stay away from my sister, you stay away from her! ". If Ron had left Harry to Hogsmeade, I think he would go insane.

"Potter, look, please just tell your sister I'm sorry, and give her this" Draco handed Harry a letter. "What is this, some kind of prank that'll make her more insecure? " He asked.

"Just please give her it" Draco said. Harry took it. Considered it was harrys last favor for Draco.

"Y/n? " Hermione knocked the door. "Yeah? " You said. "Draco gave you this letter, open it" Hermione handed it to yours. "How did you get it?" You asked. "Actually, you should ask Harry or Ron that, cause they just used me as an owl" Hermione gave you a big smile. You look at the letter, and opened it.

'Dear, y/n.

I know you don't want me to start with an 'I'm sorry'. But I'm truly am, sorry. There's something that made me say all those rude things for you.

I made you hate yourself, from what I heard, and I'm sorry. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. You keep your cool at times where I would've raged. You look lovely when you're exhausted. You look the exact opposite of Neville's toad. You smell good, and you're so.. You're so heavenly. And I hate my self for saying all those rude things to you.

Y/n, you're a Potter, I'm supposed to hate you like your brother. But I didn't, I did the exact opposite. I fell for you.

You might ask 'why did you say all those things, then?' Cause I'm a pureblood, a malfoy, and you're a Potter. Even if you have feelings for me we wouldn't work.

I say all those things to keep you away from me. But it's selfish. I know I was an asshole who hurt your feeling but if you want to talk about it, more, meet me at the library at 12, if you don't come i get it, it's alright. And this is not a prank.

Love, draco.'

"Oh.. " Hermione said. "It's 11:55" You said. "Go, y/n" Hermione smiled.

You stormed out of the dorm and common room so fast. And you immediately went to the library. Searched and searched, each time you felt more and more hopeless.

"Y/n? " A voice said, a voice that is draco's voice. "Draco?, I got your letter" You showed him the letter.

"Y/n, I'm so sorry for the things I've said and done to you. Daphne was a bit mad at me for it, she scolded me for it, and I felt sorry, but I just cannot stop and be nice, but, I took it too far and it's bad, really bad. You're so beautiful, please don't ever doubt your beauty," Draco said. You felt sorry. "Draco about the I fell for you part, is it true? " You asked him, looking at his eyes.

"Yes, I love you,,but you dont have to feel bad if you don't like me, just please don't tell your brother" He took both of your hands with both of his hands.

"Draco.. " You whispered. But he nodded, "I get it, let's just forget we ever talked and I'll stop interacting with you", he let go of your hands.

But you took them back, saying "draco.. I fell for you since the first day of school, and I just hate my self for it, you were the boy who bullied me but I still fell for you, either way"

"So I don't want to rush things.. But y/n do you want to be my-" You kissed him. "Is that a yes, y/n potter? " He smiled. He look taken aback, but he was very happy, you on the other hand, was blushing very hard.

"Yes, Draco, that's a yes" You giggled while he brushes the hair away from your face before kissing you one more time, before saying "I love you so much", " I love you way more"

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todayisawthewhxlewxrld · 2 months

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erm umm uhhh hi 😼

i gots a question 4 u and if you dont answer it you get executed and im leaking your address 😈 /j (or am i?)

s-so first.. i-im thinking about making a s-smau.. and i-i wanted t-t-to know who i should m-make it of.. UwU (sorry) c-cause im so indecisive i cant decide even if a gun was pointed at my head 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥‼️

here are your options (choose wisely.. your live is on the line.. 😈)

•Demon Slayer

anyone

•Jujutsu Kaisen

megumi (😍😍😍😻😻😻😻 PICK THIS ONE 🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😻😻😻)

inumaki (😻)

yuta (😻)

itadori

maki

nobara

•Haikyu!!

sugawara (😻😻)

tsukishima (😻😻😻if you dont pick megumi pick him 😻😻😍😍😍)

hinata

kenma

kageyama

remember.. choose wisely.. your lofe is on the line 🥰

naw cause one time i was on facetime with my friend and i wanted to read her cringe fanfics so i searched up “UwU” and i saw “Shrek x uwu nagito” and “Ed sheeran x y/n”. i read them to her and uh.. they were.. interesting, to say the least. dare i say.. they were worse than your mha smaus.. 😱😱

since im feeling kind today (yes very kind definitely wasnt threatening you 🥰🥰).. you get 2 cat pictures, those 2 cute little fanfics i saw, AND a weezer meme (ive seen you get weezer memes before.. you cant escape them 😈)

megumi !

SHREK X NAGITO?1?1?1??11 ermmmm this is crazy okay! and not the weezer pic dear lord i can never escape

#axel answers ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

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dont-justdont · 2 years

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im writing this as i rewatch the episode again with much more attention and i give yall all the little details to look for (in chronological order, im literally pausing the episode as i go to write this down)

- on lestats first appearance, he holds a blue book (from what i read basically a register of all the prostitutes in the district)

- when paul arrives he tells louis the birds told him to come "but also one voice" and then louis cuts him off, i believe that voice is lestat (he appears on screan a few seconds later

- the mayfair reference at the diner table during breakfast

- he refers to his homosexuality before we even see lestat (when he arrives after going to church with his brother)

- the sazerac (the drink louis orders) is a classic new orleans' cocktail and is said to embody it's richness very well, started getting popular in the 1800's and then some more in the beginning of the 1900's

- the whole "your name is louis, of course it's louis" because lestat is french (although there might be something deeper than that but idk, im thinking it's because it's the name of the king from the time lestat was around in france (louis xvi) but it seems far-fetched, any thoughts?)

- when he talks about settling there, he looks at miss lily and goes "but there's the food" aka im a vampire (not very hard to tell but i thought id add it to the list) also can we appreciate louis' face during that interaction he seems so done

- lestat wanted to go to st louis at first (maybe thats way the whole name thing) which was one of the most developed cities in america at that time

- i cannot find the name of the song that the man is singing (the one who puts out the lights) and its driving me crazy. if anyone wants to search, it goes something like (on parlait raymond, raymond... aller simon, simon... lui parlait titi, titi... tomber dans le chagrin... elle lui parlait titi, titi... elle est tombée dans le chagrin... and i cant for the life of me comprehend what he says during the last line sorry) im not 100% sure about those because of the english accent (french is my first language) but yeah if you find it please tell me im dying to know

- at the poker table they mention the murders take place near decatur, which is a street where there was a shooting (in 1910). from what i read the whole thing was discriminatory and there was like a strong anti-immigrant sentiment and everything

- the black star line (the company on the tickets louis gives his sister) is a black led company that was made to encourage black people to participate in the economy as they were often left out (from what im reading it was mostly a shipping company so im confused about that one but yeah), apparently it started in 1919 so im also confused about that

- the sister's husband is levi freniere, referencing the freniere family in the book (babette's family)

- lestat's past being referenced at diner (although that's not really a detail)

- THE SAVAGE GARDEN REFERENCE

- the song he composed for nicolas:( "infinite beauty and sensitivity" yes yes yes yes yes

- SOMEONE TELL ME WHY LOUIS LEGS ARE CLEAN SHAVED IN DYING OVER HERE

- when tap dancing louis and paul set the rhythm before the musicians play (which is normal i guess but a nice touch)

- before louis and paul watch the sunset, we see two glasses : one full and standing, one on the side that seems shattered (foreshadowing hehe)

- louis didnt grow up in the house he lives in, they moved in when he was 7 (i just did a little math on the number of days they had been in the house), im wondering where he grew up

- im so so glad paul didnt die after an argument and instead sort of made peace with louis (although it took me by surprise since i was expecting a fight)

- "lily was a poor substitute" aka he killed her

- not a detail but can we talk about jacob anderson's acting in little confession box thingy (i dont know the term) because DAMN that man is talented

- "i give death to those deserving" aka lestat being lestat and only killing the bad people (although i dont believe lily deserved it)

- lestat's pupils stop being dilated when he gives his little speech to louis meaning he doesnt talk like that out of hunger/arousal but out of desperation/love

- louis' complexion goes grayish when he's drained of blood but it comes back

- lestat is missing a nail when he's down on the floor with his hand on his stomach (that's not important for the plot i just found it funny)

- THE BLOOD TEAR

okay now that was a terribly long post and im sorry about it, i just enjoy seeing all the work put into this show and thought id share the little things i notice, i hope yall are doing well byyye

#the vampire chronicles #vampire chronicles #lestat de lioncourt #lestat #louis #louis de la pointe du lac #iwtv #iwtv series

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collectionoftulips · 1 year

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hi! it's me! (once again, I'm so sorry if this is long or stupid, just feel free to ignore it!)

first of all, i dont know if it is intentional or if it is something that just grows out of you as you write further chapters, but i feel that these last chapters are more... intimate? i mean, they *feel* more intimate for us readers (or at least me). and it's so cool that as they begin trusting each other more and more, their relationship building up, so does the writing style. it's a bit magic, actually ✨

i would give my life for gregory and hyacinth in this fic, no questions asked. their support to anthony!!! i mean obviously the family is supportive, but something about the way they are so hyped warms my heart. and on the same line, i can already see hy and kate watching kate's old performances and kate helping her and becoming her role model, somehow (and anthony obviously melting at the sight of this)

also i feel like anthony every chapter when the new dance style is mentioned, searching on youtube. i know zero about dances so it is always fun and interesting to learn!!

i dont know what else to say, appart from that i love this fic and im always thinkin "oh i want to read the next one" and become frustrated when i just cant because of time. but it makes me happy to see the update email! and i find myself thinking of scenes througout my day

and... quotes time!!

"The lack of memory was not immediately apparent, but rather something that only became clear once he tried to backtrack his steps, there was just… nothing" im not going to lie, this sentence and at the beginning really scared me, i thought that he might have messed it up

"It wasn’t so much that he could remember seeing her, only that he could recall being aware of her." i GASPED. i don't know why, because it is actually not that huge, but this sentence really screams that he *likes* her, he *notices* her

"He told himself that there was something good about the fact that she waited by the door, holding it for him, instead of running in the other direction. That it was normal for the pang of affection that warmed his heart to be there as they stood almost near enough that he could smell the lilies of what he suspected was her hair conditioner." okay, this one is long but my sweet bean trying to convince himself that the pang is normal! oh sweetie

"The judges only saw a snapshot of his dancing, Kate saw everything, all the flaws and mistakes as well as the small progresses, and if she thought he could do this - who was he to disagree?" + "The certainty she expressed by stating this fact was almost enough to quell Anthony’s doubts" he trusts her so much and he is so moved by her trust, i could cry

"It was just dancing, Anthony knew that, but he couldn’t help but wonder if it didn’t feel a little bit like magic." just, screaming. that's it

and that final quote... my boy is flling fast!!

once again, thank you thank you thank you for this fic! im sorry if this is messy or has typos but im writing on the notes app so that i dont forget anything, just fresh out of the reading. anyway, thank you and have a great day! ❤️❤️💕

It is not long or 'stupid' in the slightest - don't apologise. I am just sorry it's taken me ages to respond. I blame the cold I had though, which seems to have robbed the concept of time from me entirely. I really love these asks I get, they genuinely make my day.

I'm so glad you feel like the chapters are growing gradually more intimate - it was definitely something I was hoping to convey with the progression of each chapter and each stage of the competition. I'm so thrilled you like it ❤️

I love writing Hyacinth and Gregory in this story. I also find their unwavering support for Anthony's endeavours really endearing and hopefully this most recent chapter that I just posted gives some extra context as to why and hints a bit more clearly at the type of relationship they have with him.

I don't know anything about these dances either and I actually look up some of the basic steps on YouTube and learn some vague rules for each dance to help me write it a bit better, and it's so much fun.

Genuinely, thank you so much for these asks, they are so sweet and kind ❤️ Been feeling a bit iffy about my writing recently and this helps me a lot not being all like 'I'm just gonna throw in the towel because clearly my writing is meh'. So thank you ❤️

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lettersformiah · 2 years

Text

9:37am, 7 jul

hey bubs. only two days of placement! lets go. in my head its friday but its not and im so sad about it. i was late again hehehe i always am though bc i have no sense of urgency bc its fucking school. only late by like a halfa (or technically an hour if you count acg) but yeah i woke up and was like non and then woke up at like 8:15? but yeah. got the 9:25 bus and the worker people who do the stop and go signs had to stop them so i could cross the road hehehe. they were very very nice. the construction, i learnt, is on a power line. dont know what happened there but hopefully it gets fixed soon. had glimpse of us stuck in ym head this morning so ive just been listening to it on repeat. i keep having to sign in at the office so mrs copley doesnt come for me about being truant hehe but how many times can i go there in a week and press the silly buttons about missing my bus or family or sleeping in. its literally a game to me to just fucking press whatever button i see first. getting out of french next period! or at least half of it because im gonna hang out with hannah. none of my friends know im here but theyve also stopped texting me asking where i am so im glad they are just like eh she will get here when she gets here. i dont know what to say to hannah. what do i talk about. i feel like i cant be as open with her as id liek and i know thats so detrimental but like,, ive never been good at being 100% honest with my counselors and stuff so! idk. maybe i just talk about internals and your parents and you obvs and then?? idk job stuff and my dad? and my sister. i dont know i guess i have a lot to say just as an update to my life. also! sorry for falling asleep last night bubba, i know you werent home and its a bit of a mb. its very very sweet of you to stay on call though bubba. makes me so happy :*] even tho rn joji is making me so sad bro like. :'[ oh! geo is actually due first week term 2 ^^ im happy about that bc then i can do it while i wait around for u to be done with uni. but yeah! the reliever :l told me that she wants as much as she can get from us tomorrow but to have all of it done over the holidays. which is nice for me bc then i can do the excellence stuff and get everything done. im so glad. i love mrs haggart sm hehehe shes a banging teacher fr and i hope i get her next year. bio will um be something. maybe he will say just to get it done by tomorrow which i can do all of it tn. and i can write my english! im so fucking happy with it. like smh and my writing isnt amazing by any means, but i found a nice system and sparknotes is like helping me so much so i owe my grade to them for deadass just giving me quotes and themes. i love the internet bro. imagine if i had to do it all from my own fucking brain. id be so pressed. but yeah! i dont know what the last two texts are gonna be but ill just search around sparknotes for some stuff and just randomly search novels ive read in my life. maybe i will actually do the maze runner, surely its on there yk? my nose is all sniffly bubba >:( the outside is pretty chilly and geo is warm as. the temperature difference being a bitch to my poor poor nose. so dog hehe but yeah! idk bubba. i love you! geo will be over in a second so this was just a teeny update on my morning and all that. i love you sm and thank u for everything. mwahmwhamwahwmah

talk soon

-mads<3

#letters

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jaylver · 3 months

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RIN LOVE IM SORRY IM LATE I WAS TOO EXHAUSTED YTD AND I FELL ASLEEP BEFORE I COULD READ LOVE AT FIRST SPEED 😭😭😭😭

but now that i've finished reading it...

their first meeting was SO UNSRS like PLEASE HEE WAS SEARCHING HIS SOCKS FOR HIS KEY CARD?,!,' & NOT YN WITNESSING EVERYTHING TOO ☠️☠️☠️ soooo chaotic

the morning after was so cute and completely unexpected for me bc what was yn doing there 🤨🤨 was my first thought i was like noooo wayyy??? this entire scene was so ,!?.!,'@!.!,?.?.!. like hee was down HORRENDOUS already its kinda insane but u go king!!! and then came the NICKNAMES WHAT THE FUCK. URE JOKING OH URE JOKING. r u crazy or am i insane? i ABSOLUTELY LOVED to be able to see how their relationship and dynamics developed <3 not every writer includes that but i really enjoy reading how everything comes into play!!! heeyn's dynamic is so soulmate bff coded sooo comfortable

DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THEIR FIRST DATE. DAWGGGGGGGG IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THISSSS 🤣🤣🤣🤣 they're so freaking cute <33333 and then cue jake being sus 🤨🤨🤨🤨 one of my FAV lines from this fic was when hee told jake "i will, like my heart depends on it" like sir. GOD ME WHENNNNN???!:!: i also love how heeyn's r/s didnt feel rushed? if that makes sense 😭 like yn knew she felt smth for hee but she also knew she wasnt ready yet. with that being said, i also loved how we could tell how equally down bad heeyn were for each other 🤪 like it was not one sided AT ALL. she told him her heart feels full every time she sees him 😭😭😭😭 🤍🤍🤍🤍 albeit drunk... but ☠️

and then the lack of verbal communication for their feelings came through 💔💔😟💔😟💔💔 I WAS LIKE YAAAAAS when they kissed in my head i was like "ohhh yea they r official now" and then boom. 🤯. i totally understand hee bc up until then yn didnt tell him what she really felt about him so he was valid for feeling that way but him choosing to avoid and run away instead of talking to her abt wasnt the wisest choice 😞 im so glad he came to find her to talk to her afterwards 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 my couple made it 😭🤍

then came the last race.. HEE WONNNN!!!! DESERVEDDDDD 🥇 he fawking kissed her in front of everyone AND ASKED TO BE TGT OFFICIALLY 🥹🫂🤍 MY HEEYNNNNN absolutely INSANE. i was giggling & kicking my feet btw 😭 the last scene. dont even. THEY R SO CUTE UGH BOTH OF THEM SAYING HOW THEYRE SO LUCKY TO HAVE EACH OTHER?:!:&.&/ thats it im out. i cant take this lovey dovey shit no more (i absolutely ate that up)

& in case u couldnt tell i LOVED love at first speed i really enjoyed reading it!!! thank u for sharing it w us 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 & i cant wait to see what else u have in store for the series!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD. THIS. WHATM. THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR THIS LENGTHY FEEDBACK!!!

honestly reading this made my day A LOT. it also reassured me so much because i had a lot of self doubts while writing lafs, so seeing your positive feedback only made me cry tears of joy. love u love u! i'm so happy you loved it a lot! i'll make sure to cook up a good fic for the 2nd installment 🙏

#from the bottom of my heart this made me very happy i hope u know #it got me all 😭😭🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹#LOVEE U MUAHHH tysm forbthis feedback !#(💌) asks #fic tag! love at first speed

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

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hello it is Aeon again, im not sure if that is the right nickname that i chose last time though..

id need.. support and validation i guess? because this wont leave my head anymore.

TW for mentions of abuse (no details though). also TW for mental health professionals.

so i managed to get into therapy like a month ago and today i told her that i feel guilty and bad for thinking of how my parents treated me as abuse (even though i know it was atleast somehow damaging) because i didnt think they are bad people. she then proceeded to ask me what i meant with "abuse" and made me explain to her that i meant them emotionally abusing me (i sadly dont remember all of the conversation anymore). i feel like she didnt really react to me literally telling her that i feel guilty that my parents abused me and ive had that happen so much that i dont feel understood by things like that and that makes me unsure if i should even continue seeing her (i also just had a psychiatrist not believe me and thinking i was "just depressed" when i was literally not functioning and reliving the worst time of my life).

i know i should probably talk to her about it but i hate confrontations and i feel like i should be able to trust her to pick up on things like that?? shes not a mind-reader, i know, but im so confused about this, isnt she the professional?

(she has also told me that all of my previous professionals cant read minds and that they couldnt pick up on something that i didnt speak my mind about, when i said that i felt like nobody did anything to help me (which is a weird response to me feeling angry about past professionals when i was still in a place of abuse at the time i saw my first psychologist, and couldnt verbalise any of it and also didnt know a lot of things like that i was abused at all* or that i was an undiagnosed suspected neurodivergent kid))

*(just to clarify, me not noticing it was abuse was because it was normalised in my family. it still felt bad but i thought it wasnt that bad and that its just normal to go through)

im sorry if this is a lot of text!! :/

i hope you have a great day!

- Aeon (they/them)

Hi Aeon,

I'm sorry about what you went though.

It's important to feel heard and respected by your therapist. I understand how intimidating it can be to confront your therapist if they say or do something wrong (like being dismissive), but I think it's important to remember that a good therapist will take the criticism seriously and make an active effort to improve.

I'm also not sure if this is your first therapist but sometimes it's a trial and error process of finding the therapist that works for you. I've had four different therapists over the years and just had my terminating session with my current therapist a few days ago, so I'm on the search again. Just know that you deserve to be treated with respect, especially from someone like a therapist, and so if your therapist doesn't respond well to your confrontation, it may be worthwhile to look for other therapists. That being said, there is no obligation to confront her, as you're right that you should be able to trust her to recognize when she goes out of line.

One of a therapist's essential goals is to enter your phenomenological world and leave their biases or agendas at the door, meaning that they try their hardest to understand what you're going through and who you are as a person, and put any opinions or biases aside.

If you feel your therapist doesn't make you feel seen, heard, or appreciated, then that could be something to consider as you continue or terminate your therapeutic relationship.

I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #aeon #tw abuse #tw emotional abuse

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justrandomfandomstm · 1 year

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Just rewatched stranger things and OH BOY

Dont rewatch it guys, its not as gay as I remembered. I do see a lot more Ronance when Im searching for it but they are REALLY forcing st*ncy down our thoats like theres no tomorrow.

I will say that Eddie is still my baby and I love him sm. It was nice to see Steve grow as a person again. Robin and Steve are amazing together, love them. Im sorry but this is a byler hate page bc WILL DESERVES THE WORLD NOT BITCHASS MIKE. El also deserves the world.

Something fun I was thinking about is how El might be autistic with selective speech bc all the other kids speak normally, and the doctors do seem to teach them to talk, yet its only El. But thats for another post.

But Steddie is so real for me, even if it wasnt as blatently obvious as I remember it being, Steve is still staring at his lips, thanking Eddie for saving him when it was Nancy to do it first, throwing him his sweater, smoking bc homie had the hots for Steve on the boat. Ehat doesnt make sense is Eddie purposfuly ruining a Stancy moment to throw his vest to Steve and then telling him to get back with her? And the cut line thats Robin teases Steve for the vest?

I honestly dont think the Duffer brothers are really good at character writing this season, and the others too. They arent entierly clear with them, and you cann see that clearly this season. They might be good with the action and the war and everything, but the characters themselve are nit the best, especially because there are so many. They cant really seem to remember some things from the characters and make their characters do something out of character.

But yeah, just wanted to pop in here and if anybody wants me to dive deeper in anything about the show just say so, rat brain lives talking about dumb shit

(sorry for any misspellings i have dyslexia and I tried to check as much as I could but i am writing this in class)

#steddie #eddie munson #stranger things #robin buckley #el jane hopper #el hopper #autism #season 4 #stranger things season 4 #platonic stobin

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sup-hoes-its-me · 2 years

Text

Falling (Kakashi x Reader)

Summary: Reader has been friends with Kakashi for as long as she can remember, but recently, she has been developing more intense feelings for him. Hanahaki au, reader inflicted.

A/N: sorry ive been gone for so long. Life has been kicking my ass, but im trying to get back on my feet. I will try to post more often, but i cant make any promises. I can only write when im listening to extremely sad music, so if you have any gut wrenching, cry-your-eyes-out recommendations, leave a comment please!

Word count: 4500

_______

It was widely accepted as time went on that Y/N and her entire team died. They left six months ago and hadn't sent word back since week two. The mission wasn’t supposed to last any longer than three weeks, and constant relaying of information was supposed to take place. Only, communications had been cut off without warning, summons weren’t coming back home to report on the situation at hand, and not a single member had been seen since they left.

It was as if they'd fallen off the face of the Earth. The Hokage was beginning to plan a memorial service to honor them and their sacrifice to the village, after concluding that the shinobi were most likely dead. They couldn’t afford to throw even more money into the search when time kept passing and nothing was coming of it. Any remnants of hope Tsunade had was gone.

The rescue missions they did conduct had more than disappointing results. Trails of blood outside the city where the missing persons were assigned espionage. Abandoned bags with all their resources left behind. Scuffled footprints left in the deep set mud. Seeing all the evidence made it nearly impossible to remain positive.

Four shinobi left for that mission. One of them, the leader, just so happened to be Y/N L/N. Talented jounin and even more so, a beloved friend.

It was difficult for those close to her to accept her demise. It took all of those six months for people to come to terms with the horrific conclusion. Kakashi, despite normally tackling death smoothly due to their line of work, couldn't accept that she was dead. Not without a body. Not without some kind of proof. She was strong. Stronger than the majority of people he knew. There was no way she just succumbed to the enemy like that.

Really though, he just couldn’t admit that another person he had grown comfortable with was dead. Just like all the others that had come before her, bloodied and murdered. It depressed him, and as much as he tried to contain his emotions, those that interacted with him noticed. As much as Gai could try to cheer him up with pointless challenges, no matter how many times Yamato took him out to get absolutely hammered at the bar, or how many missions Tsunade sent him on to subvert his attention. The pain persisted.

He had other things to worry about as well. With the upcoming war, Jiraiya’s death, and the Akatsuki fucking everything up, he should have been on top of his game. Instead, he stayed up long nights willing her to come back alive. He replayed the moment Tsunade suggested they hold a memorial. Shizune sobbing upon the loss of her childhood friend. Gai hanging his head, palms pressed to his eyes. As he lay in his bed, he could feel the way his heart ached at each mention of her name, each time her face flashed through his mind.

Kakashi was heartbroken. He fought for the dates to be pushed back. Each week that passed, he begged that they have more time, that she would be back. It was pathetically sad, he knew this. He could feel the pity from Tsunade run off in waves. He wasn’t ready to mourn her death. All the man wanted was more time.

And then one day a few little academy students found a squad of nearly unrecognizable injured and bloodied people in the forest, trekking the best they could toward the village. They didn't know who the strangers were, why would they? They were just school kids, barely 10 years old. A bunch of old jounin having gone missing months ago wasn’t something they concerned themselves with.

Kakashi heard whispers about it from shinobi rushing to the Hokage’s office, but no one was saying anything concrete. No one could confirm it was them. Not yet.

A crew of Anbu was sent out to retrieve the stragglers, everyone hoping deep in their hearts that they’d be met with familiar faces.

He waited for her for nearly an hour, rain pouring down heavily and soaking into his clothes and hair, sending shivers down his spine. Perhaps he would end up with a cold the next day, he didn't care. When he thought about her, as he stood out there in the inclement weather, his lips curled up. If she were here, she'd have scolded him for being so ridiculous.

She’d usher him into the nearest shop and rub up and down his arms, trying to warm them with the little heat she had coming from her palms. The woman would hush him as he tried to defend himself, telling him not to worry so much and that she could handle herself. That’s always how she was, so worried about him yet uncaring about herself. Some would call her selfless, he would just call her stupid.

But he still cared for her. More than he realized.

That’s why he waited.

When they entered the village, being carried by multiple other shinobi from the village, blood seeping into their clothes and dripping into the sand below their feet, Kakashi felt his heart stop. He saw her teammates limping along with their arms over another’s shoulders. That, or they were being carried, incapacitated in the arms of a fellow soldier.

She was at the end of the line behind all the others who pulled themselves through the gates of their hometown. She was beaten to a pulp, blood drenched and purple from bruises. Her head was wrapped in makeshift bandages and her legs wobbled beneath her. He could see her arm broken, hanging limply at her side. A member of the Anbu carried her against his side as she struggled to even take each step.

Her eyes lifted from the ground to those who stood waiting for their arrival. Immediately, hers caught hold of the man who’d been waiting all this time.

"Kakashi?" she called out, weakly but still her voice found him through the chorus of moans and groans from her teammates and the downpour of the rain around them. Thunder crackled in the background as his feet hit the ground and he rushed across the street to her.

"L/N, you son of a bitch," he said, grabbing her by the waist without a second thought and tugging her body tightly to his chest, away from the hands of the Anbu soldier. She gasped, feeling his heart beating against her chest at the touch, fast and intense like a drum. Frostbitten fingers held her up by her waist while the other hand wound its way into her slick wet hair.

"Your hands. They-they're so cold. Kakashi, you shouldn't be out here like this!" she cried with the energy she had left in her chest. At the mere touch of his hands on her bare skin, she felt excitement fuel her mind. Thoughts rushed as her skin grew warm under his horrified gaze. These feelings, the warm and bubbly ones growing in her chest, were new, but she welcomed them without question after everything she had been through.

There was something else about him waiting out there, his frantic eyes, clothes soaking down to his bone with that icy cold water, that disturbed something deep inside her chest, burrowed down against her heart and rapidly inflating lungs. She brushed off the feeling, putting it down as simple relief from serious homesickness. There was no way to anticipate what had become of her feelings at that point, how they would ravage her body in a few years time, what had started to grow.

"Me? What about you? Everyone thought you died."

She peered up into his eyes, water dripping down from his shaggy bangs on display without his headband. Those irises were dark as always, but at the sight of her alive, they shined. "We were kidnapped. Tortured...Kakashi," she confessed, "Even I thought we were going to die."

“I could have protected you.” His hands found their way to cradling her cheeks, running his fingers along the raw and red skin that had been weathered all these months. Her face was littered with little cuts, both open and some that were in the process of healing into scars. “I should have come to find you-”

“It’s not your fault. You had other missions to take care of. No one could have predicted this.” The woman sighed audibly and let her head fall to rest in his hand. Why did this touch feel so good? It was like heaven on Earth, she thought as he ran his thumbs along her cheekbones. So comforting she wanted to curl up and fall asleep.

“We knew it was dangerous. Too dangerous, even for a four man squad.”

As she was about to protest, arguing that if she had been a better squad leader when approaching the enemy they could have avoided all this trouble, a voice called out from the gates. Sakura, of all people, standing there with a makeshift umbrella over her head made of a manilla folder.

“Kakashi-sensei, Y/N needs to get to the hospital now! No time to stand around!” she called through the heavy downpour, and he nodded. It probably wasn’t good for Y/N to be limping around on her broken up body any longer than she had to, and standing in this weather certainly wouldn’t help any. “I’ll meet you there. We already got a bed set up.”

Y/N clutched onto Kakashi’s arm and made a move to take a tentative, painful step forward, only to be stopped. “Let’s go,” she urged, peering up at him.

“Let me carry you.”

“Uh, what?”

“It’s a long way across town, you know. Aren’t you in pain?”

She nodded, but still, she felt herself dying a little bit on the inside at the thought of walking past all the people in town being cradled in his arms. People might get the wrong idea. “Yeah, I guess. It’s just embarrassing,” she mumbled. But really, her legs were killing her, and she would rather just relax until she got to the hospital than be in more excruciating pain. “Fine...You can, but don’t make it weird.”

“No one’s making it weird. I’m just being friendly.”

Friendly, my ass. More like flirty, she thought to herself. Whatever. Kakashi was still a pervert after all..

He lifted her slowly into his arms as she groaned at the pressure shifting. She let her head fall heavy against his chest and shut her eyes, taking deep breaths to work through the pain running through her body. She was safe now. All the anxiety and fear she’d held for so many months could flow away now that she was in the arms of a friend and in the care of a village which loved her.

As he walked across town, she felt nearly lulled to sleep by his pace and the gentle footsteps he took across dirt roads. Most people were inside at this time, but she did hear a couple shouts from people standing under their carts and in their storefronts, asking if everything was okay.

“Y/N’s back home,” he would reply shortly and they would cry back with relief in their voice. She felt pride in her chest knowing that the people of the town knew and respected her, that they were hoping for her safe return. Even if she wasn’t the best shinobi, she still was worth something to this village.

They got to the hospital in a pretty timely manner, considering he was extra careful not to jostle her around too much. He went to drop her off in her bed as the ward nurses rushed around with all kinds of equipment.

He was content, running his hand once more over her hair and down her cheek. No one could really tell how he felt from his masked lips, a smile only present in the way his eyes sparkled down at her lying in the thin white sheets. It flustered her, seeing how happy he was solely because of her. Surely, she wasn’t that special. “Kakashi?” she asked, interrupting the thick silence.

“I have to go, but I’ll take you out for drinks after you’re all fixed up, alright?” he told her, giving her shoulder one final squeeze as he backed away from the bed.

“I’ll hold you to that offer, you know,” Y/N called behind him as he walked toward the door. She didn’t want him to go. She wanted to keep talking, just enough conversation to keep him by her side for a little longer. Unfortunately, the hustle and bustle of the hospital room made that impossible, not to mention she would be stripped and examined, and she’d prefer if he wasn’t around for that part.

“I know.”

She leaned back in the bed as the door swung shut behind him. Once the door was shut, scissors began their work to cut away at the fishnets on her arms and her legs.

“You’re so lucky, Miss Y/N,” one of the nurses, who was beginning to examine some of the wounds on her face muttered giddily. Y/N raised a brow, shocked that someone could say that to her after she had literally been missing for months and held hostage, but still, she let the younger nurse continue. “We all wish we had a hot guy friend like Kakashi.”

“What?!” Y/N choked.

“She’s right. Kakashi is the sexiest man in town and he’s all over you! He acts all tough with everyone else but is a total sweetheart for you!” Another one of the nurses laughed. Y/N felt her face beginning to get hot, and she shook her head. “You should save some for the rest of us, haha.”

“Kakashi is not sexy...He’s a bumbling idiot, is what he is. An absolute scoundrel. A-A pervert.”

The nurse pressed a gauze to a particularly deep gash on the side of her temple, right on the hairline and shook her head. “Maybe he is those things, but damn, have you seen his arms? So strong. You could really see his muscles with his clothes soaked by the rain.” The nurse shook as if a shiver ran down her spine at the thought of the man.

Y/N really hadn’t ever looked at her friend like that. They were simply that...Friends. He was never sexy, or hot, or handsome. He was a stupid loser who cried over porn novel plots when he got a little too drunk. He was a smelly guy who slept with his ninkin because he was single, and only had like two friends.

“I’ve never seen him that way before,” she confessed quietly. Her mind was wandering to thoughts of his body, and she sighed, shaking her head. This was wrong. She couldn’t objectify him that way. He was just Kakashi, nothing special, nothing to gush about.

“I’m surprised. Always thought he liked you.”

“Me? God, no.”

“Well, why not? He cares about you enough,” one nurse commented offhandedly. “The village had given up on you four shinobi, but Kakashi, he never lost faith that you would come back. He was the sole reason your memorial was pushed back for so long.”

“Oh.” She didn’t expect that.

“How dreamy...All my lousy boyfriend does is complain about my cooking.”

The nurses continued to talk, but the conversation had now drifted off to griping about their own boyfriends and husbands which Y/N couldn’t care less about. Her mind wandered to the man who’d been so kind as to wait for her in the rain and carry her all the way here. He wasn’t ugly, she could see that much. Did that mean he was handsome? Well, she’d never thought about it before, but now that she did, they were right.

He was better looking than the majority of the men she’d encountered in her life. He was manly and intense, even with the mask on to conceal half his features. Still, recognizing that her friend was attractive did not mean that she had any sort of attraction toward him as a person.

There was no way she could develop feelings for such a fool. That quiver in her heart when she saw him waiting for her at the gates? That was just a fluke. And the nauseous feeling she got when his hands touched her skin? Nothing but human nature. Her desperately wanting him to stay with her in this hospital room, after being away from him for far too long? She was just home sick, and he was a small portion of the place she called home. These ladies were delusional if they thought she felt anything more than friendship for him.

Kakashi? As a boyfriend?

Gross. Of course not. Completely out of the question.

_______

Over the course of the war, and the years following, Y/N had grown a little too familiar with Kakashi Hatake, more so than ever before. It was as if those nurses years ago foretold her future.

She loved him. She knew that now.

He was a friend, one of the greatest to ever exist, despite his denial of it all. They fought alongside each other in multiple wars, conquering enemies while protecting the other. It was a partnership she was more than happy to have, ecstatic someone was there to have her back when things were looking grim. He, Shizune, and even Gai and Genma had been there for so long she couldn’t remember a life without them.

Kakashi was different though. As she watched him rise from a jounin into the Hokage they knew, she felt her heart begin to flutter when he called for her, or when he took the time out of his day to come by her house. He was all too important, and she was merely an ant under his feet. She longed for his touches and his ever-so tired words to fall from his lips. He was so unobtainable, and perhaps that made her want him even more.

After she arrived home from her disaster of a mission, things truly began to fall apart. She couldn’t keep her composure anymore. She was only anxious in the beginning. How could she not be? She harbored a love for her best friend and Hokage, someone so far out of her league she couldn’t even fathom admitting her feelings to him now. She wasn’t a child anymore; they were adults with responsibilities. They didn’t have time to fool around with these antics.

He didn’t have time to settle down with her, or whatever a love between them would blossom into. They barely had time to go out and get drinks every couple of weeks for a few hours. How could they date? It was completely hopeless. Not that any of those problems mattered considering the fact that he didn’t harbor the same feelings she had for him. It was embarrassing really. Having a crush at the ripe age of 32? Unreciprocated? So stupid. Y/N wanted to bury her head in the sand for being so foolish.

She was so busy wallowing in her own shame and pity that she hadn’t even noticed the signs.

Almost as quickly as she felt the emotions brew up in her chest and her love grow firm, they started.

The coughing fits.

It only felt like a small cold at first. Coughing in the middle of the night and needing to drink some water to get back to bed. Maybe it was just allergies, she thought, after weeks had passed and the sickness remained. Maybe she had caught a virus from another nation and the antidote was something foreign. Surely that must be it, she thought after a month.

Desperately, the woman tried to ignore the nagging feeling deep in her chest, pooling in her stomach. This sickness felt sinister, forcefully aggressive in the most intimate sort of way. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was grappling at her ribcage, digging it's way to her lungs and her heart. Burrowing inside. She held her head high and ignored it.

She was a kunoichi. After years and years of fighting, her body had been through worse more times than she could count. Y/N could handle it. That’s what she assumed, anyway.

She was mid-training session, deep in the woods where she focused on developing new jutsu when it was finally revealed to her just what was wrong. Quiet wind blew past her face and whipped at her cheeks. With this cold, she knew it wasn't wise to be out in winter, only putting further strain on her lungs which struggled to take in air. Still, she needed to train, to work; it was the only thing that kept her head afloat.

Kakashi was so busy. It seemed like recently she only ever saw Kurenai and Gai. Being Hokage was never a position he wanted, but he fulfilled the role well. She wished to spend more time with him. To see his face and to hear him chuckle from beneath his mask. Everyday, she felt herself growing more desperate for him. Yet, she kept herself from acting a fool.

She didn't burden him with the knowledge of her growing illness. He didn't need any more stress on his mind; he was busy worrying over an entire nation after all. It broke her heart being so distant, to not sit down and share her secrets and concerns with him like before.

She felt her stomach turn, sick at the thought of missing him, the man of her affections.

That single moment, with the turn of an upset stomach and the clench of her longing heart in her chest, is when it started.An awful heavy feeling sinking deep into her abdomen and clouding her mind of every coherent thought. She choked on the frigid air whipping by her face as it clashed with the fire lit ablaze.

The woman fell to the ground, knees digging into the soft dirt. Her lungs were like lead forcing her to the ground while a powerful burn ran through them up into her throat. Coughs wrecked her body which curled in on itself as the fit grew more intense. Fingers desperately clutched at the fabric above her heart and the necklace around her throat.

The pain was something unlike anything she knew. It burned deeper than she thought a simple cough or cold could. Tears grew in her eyes as she struggled to breath through the coughs full of rage and anger.

After a minute of hacking up what she assumed was her entire lung, something foreign left her mouth. The coughing subsided and she gasped for air, shutting her eyes and relishing in the relief. Only, that feeling was short lived as her eyes opened to peer down at what she’d choked up only a moment ago.

Some sort of flower petals littered the ground at her knees. She stared in disbelief. It was merely a legend among the old, rumors and tall tales passed along from generation to generation. It wasn’t something anyone ever took seriously. After all, it had been seemingly hundreds of years since a victim fell ill in the Leaf Village. There wasn’t a single person alive that had seen it first hand.

At first, she thought she might be hallucinating.

But as she reached down to thumb the petals, slick with her saliva, everything became eerily real. A heavy feeling fell on her chest and her breaths quickened, dread hanging over her head. This sickness she was having, it wasn’t caused by some reversible virus, one that could be fixed with an antidote. She was cursed. Ill beyond normal repair.

Hanahaki disease.

Caused by unrequited love.

She was so naive to think that letting herself develop these feelings for Kakashi would remain a harmless secret for as long as it lasted. Of course, it was just her luck that something like this would happen. Right after fighting a war, it seemed she would be fighting her own as well.

For now, she would keep it to herself, see how it progressed. From what she remembered of her grandmother talking about the disease, there were only two ways to cure it. Professing your love to the object of your affection and them reciprocating or a more tortuous route: surgery to remove the growing flora in your chest, but at the cost of forgetting every feeling and memory associated with your person. If no decision is made, the branches will continue to grow until you die a painful death.

If her ancestor was right all those years ago, Y/N would have quite the choice to make.

She wasn't sure she could forget about Kakashi. The memories she had with him brought her more joy than anyone could imagine. She couldn't give that up. She loved him. He was a critical part of her and she wasn't willing to break herself up into pieces just to be cured.

She would rather die than give up on him. She was fine with dying as just friends, knowing him and the things he'd done for her over the years. Anything but losing him forever.

Confessing would be hard, if not impossible. She would wait to make her choice, wait for it to get worse. If she got scared enough, surely she would crumble and confess her feelings to him. It all felt pointless though. He clearly did not have feelings for her. He was never the type to have lovey emotions. He would just reject her, her condition would become critical, and she would be forced to get the surgery anyway.

Maybe if he rejected her, it would be easier letting go of her precious memories

Fear crept under her skin and made room in her heart. What if he didn't mind losing her forever? They wouldn't have the time to mend their friendship back into one they had developed over so many years. He might just move on and forget about her, as much as she hated to think about. He seemed to care about her, even if they were only coworkers and coincidentally friends. Surely he would at least be a bit upset.

Honestly, there was no way to tell how Kakashi would react to the news of her losing all connection to him. He was elusive even in the most revealing of moments. Only a few times had he truly revealed his raw emotions to her. Sure, she liked to believe he would be upset, but if she was still alive and healthy, would he really complain? The morning's breakfast rose in her throat as self-doubt clouded her vision.

Y/N swallowed down her struggles for now. She had to live in the present, and as of right now she was still friends with Kakashi, she was healthy enough to live her life, everything was going fine.

Nothing to worry about.

#kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi hatake #kakashi #naruto x reader #naruto fanfic #naruto oneshot #kakashi hakate #naruto #hanahaki #hanahaki naruto x reader #oneshot #x reader #writing #truly i am sorry for being gone so long my life got so fucked up and im still struggling #i havent had inspiration so if this story seems uninspired and shitty thats why

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insertdisc5 · 3 years

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Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

#ask tag #deltarune #deltarune spoilers #snowgrave spoilers

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