#how now stolen cow

[memoriesofachicken]

"The suspect was found guilty of unlawful possession of a moo cow. In light of his explanation that it was a practical joke, the jury voted a special appropriate punishment."

#garfield and friends #roy the rooster #roy #garfield #how now stolen cow #pie #pie in the face

[wrestlingwithlife]

Task Force 141 Boys with Cowboy (Head canons)

Decided I’d write some head cannons for Cowboy!Reader with our main boys either that haven’t written about yet or have but are so cute I wanted to reiterate <3

Task Force 141 x Cowboy!Reader

—————————————————————————————————————

Soap :

#1 hype man fr 🗣️🗣️

Absolutely obsessed 😍

Will literally find any excuse to get Y/n to talk just to hear his accent

After watching Ghost get man handled by him he actually begged Y/n to spar with him

Looks up southern stuff to say to Y/n

“Y/n, will you take me to a Honkytonk? 🥺”

He tries his best but at this point he’s just doing it to get a reaction

Stumbled across the song “F***** by a Country Boy” and thought all country music was like that

Couldn’t look Y/n in the eye with hearing it in his head for a solid week

Never sleeps better then when his head is in Y/n’s lap

Literally will sleep like a rock

Soap is usually the one who falls asleep on Y/n

He didn’t realize how cuddly Y/n actually was until after one fateful night

Soap had came to watch old murder files with the southern male one night

Y/n fell asleep on Soap’s shoulder, slumbering silently

When Soap went to lean forward to grab his water he was yanked back into Y/n

Y/n bear hugged him to his chest and refused to let him go

Soap cherished that moment for the rest of forever

Added ‘Save a horse ride a cowboy’ to his Instagram bio

Has def stolen Y/n hat and tried it on

Y/n didn’t have the heart to tell him about the hat rule

But he’ll handle it eventually~

Absolute thigh guy

Has been caught staring so many times

Does not care

Continues to stare 👀

Has asked Y/n to crush him between his thighs

Y/n thought he was joking

He was not

#relatable

Ghost :

Absolutely whipped

Won’t even deny it if someone calls him out

He’s all about that Honkytonk Badonkadonk🤠

When Y/n says a word or phrase he doesn’t understand he just nods along until the male walks away, in which he will whip out his phone and immediately search it up

When Y/n mentioned there were times he missed his horses he made it his personal mission to find horses for him to pet

Ended up finding a place nearby that did horse therapy

He and Y/n both went and they absolutely loved it

The horses absolutely adored Y/n and smothered him with love

The southern male was happy to reciprocate

Ghost took a picture of it and now it’s his Lock Screen

Ghost was nervous the horses weren’t going to like him

Most animals don’t like his mask

Was elated when he realized the horses didn’t care about it

They really started to love him when Y/n showed Ghost how to feed them

Ghost was in heaven

He grew particularly fond of an old shire mare

She was all white and covered in scars but she was so impossibly gentle for her massive size

The worker said they called her Big Mama and she’d was a retired logging horse that had been rescued from going to slaughter

She adored Ghost and followed him everywhere

The workers explained she had a knack for taking the more nervous horses and animals on the ranch under her wing and making them feel a safe

Ghost almost cried when he hugged her 🥺

Now where Soap liked to sleep on Y/n, Ghost prefers to have Y/n sleep on him

Was laying in bed with Y/n one night while scrolling through his phone

Y/n was already snoozing 😴

Ghost went to put his phone on the nightstand only to get yanked back

Bro was shocked

Y/n snatched him back, burrowing under his arm

Almost cried again 🥹

Price :

Absolutely adores Y/n southern culture

Has a little notebook where he keeps stuff he learned from Y/n written down 🖊️

Occasionally uses southern slang around Y/n but unlike Soap he’s completely serious

Except the word Ain’t

He refuses to say that

When he finds out Y/n feels homesick he does everything he can to help

Gets Y/n all his favorite things

Favorite candies, books, flowers, even got Y/n a cow stuffie when he talked about missing his animals

Y/n put it next to his horse stuffie he got him last week

Price is a good cook but he doesn’t usually have the urge to do it that often

But when Y/n talked about a dish from his home town he missed??

Price spent two day’s learning how to make it and getting the stuff

Whipped that shit up like freaking master chef

The cowboy was elated and gave Price the most bone crushing hug

Snuck a little cheek kiss in there too 💋

Price’s cheeks turned pink so fast

I’m just going to say it…

Has drunk made out with Y/n before 🤯

The two got absolutely turnt on whiskey and just went for it

They never spoke about it after that but when they get close they still think about it

Price misses how the American male tastes

Something definitely awoke in him the day that he watched Y/n ride that mechanical bull

In a game of ‘Fuck, Marry, Kill’ Y/n would Marry Price a hundred times over

I mean, me too 😍

Tried southern Cajun food that Y/n made once and his heart almost stopped

It tasted good and then all of a sudden everything was on fire

Did better at holding his spice then Soap tho so 10/10

Y/n’s go to after solo missions

Y/n will stumble into his office all tired and instead of pulling up a chair just plops on the floor and leans his head on Price’s leg

Price just plays with his hair while he finishes paper work

He’d be lying if he said his mind didn’t occasionally wander with how close Y/n was to his nether regions 😜

Gaz :

Trails Y/n like a puppy 🐶

I mean this boy hangs off his every word

If Y/n ever has to run an errand off the base you best believe Gaz will be going with him

Also looks up southern slang to understand Y/n better

Also listened to “F***** by a Country Boy” and couldn’t look Y/n in the eyes for a solid week

Always offers to help Y/n when he works out

Sometimes gets distracted when he’s spotting but no one can blame the poor boy

Acts of service is def his love language ❤️

Demands to know the names of every animal Y/n owns

Made a playlist of songs that Y/n mentioned he liked

Listens to it constantly

Likes to ‘help’ Y/n cook

Really just hands him stuff that Y/n asks for

Handles the spices the best out of any of them

When it’s just the two of them going out for whatever reason he’ll just grab onto Y/n somehow

Holding a hand, the hem of a jacket or shirt, or intertwining their arms

Y/n is happy to reciprocate

People will come up to Gaz while Y/n is distracted and compliment how cute of a couple they are

Just thanks them and doesn’t deny it ever

Sleeps in Y/n’s bed more then his own

Y/n will be working at his desk and Gaz will just wander in in and plop onto his bed to sleep

If Y/n takes to long Gaz will sigh loudly till he gets the hint

Always fights Soap for Y/n’s lap on movie nights

Besides Price he’s probably got the best sense of self control

He ain’t perfect though

Is Y/n isn’t watching him he is LOCKED ON

Always locked onto those cheeks 🥵

His mind does tend to wander

Y/n could ask Gaz to fake his death and run away with him and Gaz would do it in a heartbeat

#task force 141 #cod x male reader #cod x reader #captain john price #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #cod gaz #cod x cowboy!reader #cowboy!reader

[ghouljams]

I don't even need to preface this, you already know it's cowboy!Ghost

He is such a lowkey stalker, but he literally can't keep his eyes off of you. Watches you ride your horse to round up straggling cows in the pasture and can't think of anything but how pretty you'd look bouncing on his cock. How well your cunt takes him, how you sob when he splits you open. He only got a taste of you but he is absolutely addicted. He can't disobey a direct order from Price to stay away from you, but God he is drooling for you. It takes everything he has not to palm himself through his jeans the way you smile at him, flushed from the sun and wearing the hat you stole from him.

You knock on his door to tell him you're doing a load of laundry, ask if he has anything he wants washed, and he knows you're not doing it for any reason than Southern hospitality but God he hopes his scent rubs off on you as he hands over dirty shirts and cum stained sheets. Later he watches you pin clean sheets to the line and it feels so domestic that he almost feels bad for wanting to lift you sundress and fuck you into the ground.

You talk a lot more than him, which is fantastic, he loves hearing your voice, until you drop a "Steamin' Jesus" and then he has to call Soap and hear from the devils mouth that the rest of the 141 knew you before he did.

"Price's kid? Yeah, me and Gaz stayed with her and her mum a couple times. Sweet girl."

And Ghost practically sees red, he can't believe you've been kept from him for so long. He can't believe you know other members of the 141 well enough to pick up phrases from them. Come to think of it, he's pretty sure you told one of Soaps crappy jokes the other day. Now he's got to find a way to leave his mark on you, hopefully something more permanent than a stolen hat.

#cowboy!ghost #cod x y/n #cod mw2 #cod x reader #cod ghost #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley smut #simon riley #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #call of duty mwii #call of duty modern warfare #ghost call of duty #modern warfare 2 #ghost mwii #ghost mw2 #reader x ghost #ghost x reader

[lopposting]

So, I noticed that people tend to notice P is not human, not from the way he looks, but from the way he sounds.

I can hear your springs even if you try to hide them. We musicians have a keen ear, you know. (White lady)

I hear the sound of springs inside you... You're a puppet too! (The Survivor)

[btw I'm going to be paraphrasing quotes and details from memory so I can get this out rather rapidly, so my apologies if they're somewhat incorrect]

Claudia and Lucio give no indication that they know about P not being human. Up until mid-game, they only really treat him as another stalker to con. The black rabbit brotherhood seem to know, but mainly because they know we're specifically "Geppetto's puppet."

I think that Claudia and Lucio find out because they either hear the brotherhood during the fight or Simon tells them as much, because Lucio calls us a "goddamn talking rag-doll" before he attacks us if you choose to fight.

The Black Rabbit Brotherhood and their connection to Carlo

And speaking of which - the brotherhood seems to know immediately that we are "Geppetto's puppet". Which makes me wonder... they seem to have known Carlo or known of Carlo while he was alive, which is probably how they put two and two together and guessed the obvious conclusion of how we came to be, which is the case with Antonia:

Oh, I knew you were Geppetto's puppet the moment I saw you (Antonia)

Is that Tenma's boy? > It can't be Tenma's boy. Holy cow, Tenma must have lost his mind (From Astro Boy 2009)

They also have Carlo's painting and the gravesite which is guessed to perhaps contain Carlo's empty grave has the mark of the black rabbit brotherhood on it. Geppetto also says he had no idea the BRB had stolen the painting.

A child who was a blessing to their family lies here. May he rest in peace. (Malum grave)

[Also I'm wildin now but korean pronouns are usually non-gender specific, so maybe it wasn't a "he" originally? this throws a whole bunch of other things into question though which I actually really don't like]

So, I thought of ways that ALL of these things could be true: That this IS carlo's grave in the malum district (which is strange because why would an aristocratic son be buried in Malum), the grave is empty because Carlo's body is still in the suitcase, the brb mark on his grave makes sense, AND the BRB having the painting is more than just a coincidence.

I have the most bizarre headcanon now. The BRB are a bunch of awful thugs for issuing "protection fees", but still, what IF:

They seem very hostile to us, particularly because we are a puppet, but maybe also because of our resemblance to Carlo - not because they resented him, but because Carlo was dear to them somehow. And the empty grave in the district was set up by them privately to commemorate his death when they heard what happened, (and the "family" they are referring to are themselves!). It's also worth noting that in the original story, The rabbits are aligned with the blue fairy (which would be Sophia in this iteration). [They're also associated with coffins and graves.]

I had no idea the black rabbit brotherhood had stolen it. (Geppetto on the painting)

The black rabbit brotherhood! I hate these guys. <- Gemini immediately remembers them. [They also appear very early on in the game, I guess to show they were watching us?]

So maybe their resentment and disgust for P comes from the fact that they know Geppetto has made an artificial replica of someone they knew into something they hated (puppets!), which they would see as repulsive. Perhaps there's an actual reason why the BRB has the painting. What exactly went down at the monad charity house?

...

extra notes

[The BRB knowing about Carlo doesn't mean they personally knew Carlo (since Geppetto must've been famous), but it's something. The thing is, both Eugenie and Venigni don't seem to recognize who we're "supposed" to be at all, even Venigni who is said to have been a close colleague to Geppetto. Maybe Eugenie and Venigni are just super polite and don't want to mention Carlo at all to us, but I kinda get the feeling that the public never really knew Carlo existed, Geppetto did dump him off at a boarding school early on after all]

[also also!! the golden stargazer next to the grave for DLC, Carlo being associated with ships, and the DLC showing a nautical theme?]

#look away theres BRB apologia here #lies of p #liesofp #lop #spoilers #lies of p spoilers #carlo #brb #black rabbit brotherhood #pinocchio #theory #more crack theory #speculation #btw i also love that they bring out a coffin for us to get into and WE END UP PUTTING ONE OF THEM IN IT INSTEAD #lore

[selodka-pod-shuboy]

I think 3rd life is somehow the best plot&system-wise. It's not based on anything, just my humble opinion. I have so much thoughts and they are all so tragic. Like. It was my first ever interaction with theese CCs, I went there blind reacting. It was amazing then, it was even better after getting to know them. Every perspective tells such a drasticly different story. You've got alliances formed throu death, loyalty and sacrifices, broken or cherished till the very end. You have 3 lifes, and that's it. No tricks or some help or twist from the gamemakers. Go apeshit or stay nice, nothing changes it. All your enemies can start from something as simple as a random punch or a shot or a pice of paper. So can friends. No one knows how the server operates, they all come from somewhat-friendly spaces, so every simple fact is a new surprise - everybody kills animals, and ends up suffering with lack of food&lether for books afterwards. They put effort into builds, bother with decorating(not to say they didn't in later seasons, it's just the attachment I'll talk later), fill the places with love and care, get attached to pets and trees, banners of all things. PROTECT THEM and feel sorrow and grief, once they enevitibly get killed or burned or blown up or DESTROYED. The rage is so innocent in it's belive, that they were wronged, that they should be avenged, and not that this is just the reality of the server itself, that that's just - what heppens. The story tells so much about betrayal, about broken trust, and friends that go mad, and almoust no one follows the "all alliances are broken after you're red" rule. You are allowed to kill now, yeah, but there was nothing in PARTICULAR, stopping you before. It is proven by the first death, that it was just a prank, that lead to all the following chaos. Scar gives Grian flowers after his second death, and Grian STAYS. Cleo sticks with Bdubs, calling his castle a toilet, kidnaps the desert lama, burns Joel's home. She goes for the king and dies in the blind rage . Bdubs makes and gives Impulse the clock, that will doom their hearts in the end. Impulse promises his trust to the Crastle. Bigb makes the cookie. Martyn hears voices, and Ren asks him to take his head. He takes so many lives. The Red Winter Comes. Tango saves the cows, only for them to be stolen, he gets shot stuck behind the fire. Etho's dark oak gets burned, he builds a woolen castle, for it to get burned multiple times. Timmy gives Scott a poppy, starting their marriage. They build the flower valley. Timmy DIES FIRST and aquaeres the Canary curse. Scott follows full of sorrow. Skizz dies second, full of rage, and creates the boogieman curse. Joel stays alone, with his dog army, and dies, leaving his pack wandering the desert. The cactus-ring fight. The siege of dogwarts. Battle of the Red Desert. All the monopolies. The state, that everyone leaves the server, the contrast with the start. It's like watching the 1rst anual hunger games, from a perspective of people, who know and love each other, but no matter their efforts, end up slowly spiraling into violence and distrust, spreading pain and destruction. Mu soul loves and aches for it, even though it was the very same thing that broke it in the first place, that took a pice of it and so it will never be whole again. It's so tragic. All this blood was never beautiful. It was just. Red.

#3rd life smp #3rd life #third life smp #life series #Rant #I'm too drunk #Happy new year #I'll regret this afterwards #last life #last life smp #double life smp #limited life #limited life smp #secret life #secret life smp

[lauravanarendonkbaugh]

Nightshade

Guys, this is really easy. I just ran my first render on Nightshade, and it's very simple to use.

What is Nightshade?

It's software to "poison" the AI image-"generating" models which scrape your art without permission. It works by telling the AI software that this car is really a cow, or something similarly improbable, so that someone using that scraped art to "generate" a car will get a cow instead. This makes stealing art dangerous and costly and ineffective.

Thieving tech-bro: "That's so mean! They're poisoning our data!"

Hey, you know the absolutely guaranteed way to make sure you don't eat brownies full of laxatives? Don't steal brownies out of someone else's lunch in the break room fridge. This will only poison data that's stolen. Be ethical, be unaffected.

Download Nightshade here.

How To Use Nightshade

First, you can choose how intense to make the poison. :D It does increase render time, but that's okay, we know wars aren't won in a moment.

You can specify a tag for your primary image content ("fire," "rabbit," "forest," etc.) to establish content for the scrapers, and it reminds you to use this tag in the alt text and description, and in the post, for maximum impact.

Nightshade takes a while to download and then again to update libraries on first open, but that's a one-time thing. And then it takes a while to render, but again, we are here to preserve art and save the internet, so I can wait a bit to post.

And the output quality is good! Allegedly there are some image effects, but I'm not good enough to spot the difference when I have the before and after together.

Tips:

The guide says to run Nightshade last, after resizing, watermarking, etc. This will be most effective.

Do Nightshade before Glaze, if you choose to do both.

Render in PNG for best results but it's okay to convert to JPG after.

Remember to use your content tag in alt test, description, and your post! This is exactly where you'd be putting accessibility text anyway, so it's good practice with or without Nightshade.

Please share, please protect!

Note: I'm not an artist, I'm a writer, but I'm using Nightshade on promo images I'm putting together for a future project, because those software companies didn't buy that stock art either and I won't make it available to them for free on the license I purchased.

Please share, please protect!

(Now, speaking as a writer, I wish we had something similar for text!)

#nightshade #anti ai art #anti ai #protect your art #protect art #protect artists #glaze #respect artists

[zablife]

As Long As I Live (Part 1)

Tommy Shelby & Amelia Holland (OC) x Bonnie Gold

Summary: Tommy's long lost daughter appears at Arrow House and quickly becomes a beloved part of the family. What happens to their relationship when that peace is shattered by his newfound political aspirations and the only way to protect her is to send her away again with the one person she cannot abide?

Author's Note: Requested by the lovely @kpopgirlbtssvt.

Warnings: language, fighting, use of a weapon, mention of blood, mention of a curse

“I know you stole it!”

“I did not!”

“Give it back!”

“Can’t steal what was mine in the first place, stupid cow!”

“You lying, thieving little bitch!” 

The shouting could be heard from across camp, voices of two teenage girls turning to shrill cries as a fight broke out between them. The oldest, Tess, gave a forceful shove to the younger girl who had so brazenly stolen from her that very morning. However, Tess underestimated her smaller, but more aggressive opponent who rushed her, forcing them both to the ground with a great thud. 

At sixteen, Amelia had been in enough fights to be considered a decent brawler. Had she been a lad, she would have been making money at the fair instead of entangling herself in silly squabbles at camp. Her temper left her little time to think of consequences, however, as was the case today. 

While the girls wrestled, Tess clawed at Amelia’s neck threatening, “Give it back and I won’t scratch your eyes out.” Using her weight to roll them both through the mud, Amelia climbed on top of Tess, planting her knees firmly into the soil and spitting in Tess’s face.

“It’s mine!” Amelia asserted through gritted teeth, remembering how the jewelry used to shine brightly as it hung from her mother’s neck. She placed both hands around Tess’s throat as a blinding rage overtook her and Tess’s eyes grew wide at the constriction of her airway. Desperate to save herself, her hand shot out from her side and yanked down hard on Amelia’s long, dark hair with enough force to move her entire body. Amelia’s scalp burned with a searing pain as Tess came away victorious with a large clump of hair. “Worried you’ll be uglier than you already are?” she taunted. “No one wants you anyway, pathetic little orphan.”

Amelia scrambled to find her footing, thinking only of revenge, and shoved her hand into her boot, searching for her flick knife. As Tess’s fist connected with her side, Amelia let out a soft grunt. Hunched over, the blade of her knife was concealed from view and Tess never saw the swift motion as Amelia swiped up and cut Tess across the cheek. Stumbling backward and clutching her face, the girl screamed, forcing several people outside to investigate.

Amelia’s aunt Zelda was one of the first to see what had happened, gasping at the sight of blood dripping from Tess's face. Realizing the severity of the incident, she pulled Amelia away by her elbow to the privacy of their vardo as quickly as possible. Once inside, she slapped her across the face asking, “What the bloody hell have you done now, Amelia?”

The sting to her cheek brought her back to reality and Amelia gulped, suddenly aware of what she’d done. “She…she said I stole her necklace. But…but...it's mum's, Aunt Zelda. She stole it first!” She said, words rushing out in hopes she would be believed.

Zelda closed her eyes, exhaling a long, loud sigh. “Christ almighty, Amelia!” she said with a shake of her head. “We’ve talked about this, girl. You can’t be fightin’ no more!”

“But…didn’t you hear me? She stole mum’s necklace!” Amelia wailed, trying to explain herself one final time.

“No, she didn’t,” Zelda insisted. Amelia looked on in confusion. Her mother had been very clear when she was ill that the gold necklace with the beautiful blue stone was the one possession that was not to be put on the fire. She wanted to leave part of herself with her daughter who would be all alone in the world with no parents or siblings to comfort her.

“I sold it,” Zelda said matter-of-factly. “Times have been hard. You know that."

“You had no right to sell what was mine!” Amelia cried, closing her fist over the pendant. 

“The hell I didn't! I’ve been doin’ my best to raise ya and it’s a thankless job. You do nothin’ but cause me trouble.” As she spoke, she began to gather Amelia’s things, packing them hastily. "I have my own little ones to think of, you know."

“Are you throwing me out? Where do you expect me to go?” Amelia’s head swam as she watched her aunt move in dizzying circles around her.

Finally slowing her movements, Zelda plopped down on the bed and brought a hand to her forehead. She exhaled deeply before answering, “I need to tell you the truth about something.”

“About what?” Amelia asked hesitantly.

“Your father. He didn’t die in the war like your mum told you,” she waited for a moment as Amelia took in the new information, then continued. “He might as well have. He couldn’t care for you back then, but I hear his circumstances have changed.” Standing from the bed and handing her the bag she declared firmly, “It’s time he took some responsibility.”

“That’s crazy, I don’t know anything about him. He doesn’t know me,” Amelia argued. 

“Still, he’ll do what’s right unless he wants a curse on his head,” Zelda warned. Amelia didn’t dare continue when her aunt held that look in her eye. She had seen what her aunt was capable of and didn’t wish to go against her. The decision had been made and there was nothing to do except take the horse that was given to her and ride off with the directions she was given to start a new life.

——————————

Tommy stood at his office window, listening to the crackling fire and the gentle whistle of the wind through the chimney. There was no one else awake this time of morning besides the chef preparing a lavish breakfast Tommy had no intention of eating. As was his habit most mornings, he would neglect the ample offerings on the dining table in favor of his cigarettes and coffee. Today would be no different as he had stacks of paperwork to review before returning to London later in the week. Despite the waiting obligations, Tommy had an anxious feeling crawling under his skin as he looked out over the thick fog that blanketed Arrow House. Something about quiet mornings always made him uneasy as bitter experience had taught him to be wary of such things. 

He tried to shake the feeling as he returned to his desk and sort through some paperwork, but outside Johnny Dogs and a few of the junior peaky boys had taken up Tommy’s watch. As the sharp, hollow clip of horse hooves grew louder, Isaiah turned to Johnny with a fretful gaze. “Thought you said there weren’t any visitors expected today, Johnny.”

“None that Tommy knew about,” he replied, craning his neck for a better look down the road. However, the fog made it impossible to tell who might be approaching. Isaiah checked his gun in case of trouble as did two of the other men, ready to defend the house if necessary. It was a time of peace for the family, but they could never be certain as new threats didn’t give them the courtesy of a formal announcement. 

As a white stallion appeared between the stone pillars at the end of the long drive, Isaiah walked out to meet what appeared to be a female rider. The horse ambled toward him slowly until Amelia stopped completely looking down at the man in her path. “Is this Arrow House?” she asked.

“Depends on who’s askin’, love,” he said with a smile, taking hold of the horse’s bit. Amelia set her jaw determinedly, tired and sore from riding. She didn’t wish to play games.

“My aunt sent me, Zelda Holland,” Amelia conceded.

“That name doesn’t mean a thing to me,” Isaiah said, suddenly stone faced and suspicious of her motives. After the business years ago with the crazy Russian woman, he knew women could be just as treacherous as men. He had half a mind to interrogate her thoroughly before sending her back where she came from even though she looked exhausted and ready to fall from her horse at any moment.

“If you would let me pass, I’ll prove I have business at this house,” she said more firmly. The cold and damp had set into her bones and she longed for the warmth of a fire, but she wouldn’t beg for charity. 

“No one here knows you, girl. You're obviously lost. Why don’t you turn around and go home where you belong,” he suggested, guiding the horse to face the opposite direction and giving it a slap on the haunches. The horse trotted a short distance before Amelia stubbornly turned back and galloped toward the assembly of men at full speed, her eyes blazing with anger. As she approached, the horse reared up on its hind legs making them scramble out of the way before its hooves pounded back down to the ground. "Are you fuckers going to let me inside or do I have to break down the bloody door? I'll not ask twice" she yelled, chest heaving with indignation.

“Now just who do you think you are lass?” Johnny asked, feet shuffling through gravel quickly. He tried to place the young woman with dark, free flowing curls and olive skin. He was immediately struck by her large, crystalline blue eyes and he mumbled, “Izzy, is that you?” Everyone knew Isidora Holland was dead and yet here was a woman who looked just like her with a temper to match.

“No, my name's Amelia. I'm her daughter,” she said with a toss of her head, letting the wind blow the hair from her face.

“Well I’ll be damned. Why didn't you say so," he said with an astonished grin. Then turning serious he chided, "We could've done without all that, Amelia," gesturing with his hand in the air toward the horse, referring to her theatrics. Amelia looked away, embarrassed by her brief show of emotion. She accepted Johnny's hand as he offered it, easing herself down from her horse with a groan. Johnny helped with her pack as Isaiah came to stand next to him, confusion evident in his expression. “What in God’s name are ya doing here, child?” Johnny asked.

“I came to meet my father,” she said, turning her head in all directions to take in the grand estate before her. A harsh wind whipped Amelia’s skirts as she gazed upon the biggest house she’d ever seen. Bitter cold nipped at her fingers as she took up her bag from Johnny and slung it over her shoulder, head held high as she asked, “Where can I find Thomas Shelby?” 

Read Part 2

-------------

Tag List:

@peakyswritings

@evita-shelby

@shelbydelrey

@alanadetigy

@wandawiccan60   

@severewobblerlightdragon

@lovemissyhoneybee

@theshelbyslimited

@kittycatcait219

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@notyour-valentine

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@elenavampire21

@little-diable

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@l1-l4

@babayaga67

@rangerelik

@runnning-outof-time

@mythos-writes

#Peaky Blinders #Peaky Blinders fanfic #Peaky Blinders imagine #Tommy Shelby #Tommy Shelby fanfic #Tommy Shelby imagine #Bonnie Gold fanfic #Bonnie Gold #Bonnie Gold imagine #Bonnie Gold x OC

[pixiemage]

These Small Hours

(So basically I saw the little "Sorry, Rancher!" moment between Jimmy and Tango, deemed it cute, and wrote 2k words of the fluffiest fluff that I imagine happens after the clocks are paused at the end of the session. :3)

(Title comes from "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas)

[This work can also be read on Archive of our Own]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Despite the exposure to the open air, sleeping on the roof of the half-burned woodland mansion was more pleasant than Jimmy had anticipated. The mass of torches ensured that no mobs would spawn nearby, and none could reach them up here from the ground with the way the lower portion of the building had been reduced to nothing but a shell. The sky above was strewn with stars, and even now - late into the night when he should’ve been sleeping - he traced patterns with his eyes, weaving invisible connections between the glimmering dots and trying to remember what few constellations he knew…and what few Tango had taught him on late nights on the roof of the ranch. The only downside, Jimmy supposed, was the chill, which was only slightly alleviated by a few lit furnaces nearby, and he supposed his wings helped a decent amount. But even so, a part of him longed for a warm bed and worn wood walls and a smoky scent on the pillow and familiar arms wound comfortably around him and a warm presence tucked close beside him.

Jimmy sighed softly, adjusting his wings to take some pressure off an aching point near his spine.

He missed Tango, was the truth of it. He knew his soulmate was on the same server as him, not even that far away with how small the map felt this season, but it still felt too far. Especially after the lone, brief exchange they’d had earlier in the rush of the game–

Teasing and bickering across a small stretch of water, Joel killing the cow, Etho spinning the boat around to face him, Tango leaping across the water to get a better view. Then Jimmy had rushed forward, had elbowed Tango aside, had only realized his mistake when he caught Tango’s stumbled, half-wincing landing out of the corner of his eye. He had cast a sheepish smile back over his shoulder, tossed back an apology - “Sorry, rancher!” - and their eyes, however briefly, had met. Tango had grinned, had laughed, had looked almost proud, and then threatened his life with a smile and wink. Then Jimmy and Joel had fled, and Etho had watched them go, and then…

Jimmy withheld another sigh and sat up, rolling his shoulders and his head to dispel the crick in his neck. There was no way he could sleep like this. He eased himself to his feet and crept away from Grian and Joel’s sleeping forms, careful to avoid weak patches of the roof so he wouldn’t make a creak and wake them up. Not that he was doing anything he wasn’t allowed to do. He just - didn’t want to try and explain. It felt private, personal.

When he reached the edge of the roof, he looked down. He could’ve tried to find a hole in the ceiling and land on the staircase he supposed, but he had attempted that earlier and gotten a sore ankle for his troubles. No, landing in grass seemed like a softer alternative if he somehow managed to bungle this. But he wouldn’t. He could do this. He was a bad boy, wasn’t he? He’d done a few water bucket clutches today already. He could do another. He was getting better at it, in truth, so surely he could do it again?

Jimmy dug a bucket of water from his inventory and took a break, stepping back before leaping from the edge. Gravity took hold quickly and he spread his wings. He couldn’t fly, but he could catch air, and it slowed him enough that timing the water would be easier - and - splash.

He stumbled, staggered, but it was a clean landing. (Despite it being such a small victory, Jimmy grinned. Nailed it.) With a quick cursory glance around to avoid any nearby hostile mobs, Jimmy stowed his water, summoned his sword, and ducked through the trees in search of the coastline that had been stolen from him and Joel earlier that day.

It was empty and quiet when Jimmy arrived. The water was still, Scott’s little cluster of manmade islands aglow in the distance, and the place was easily recognizable from the multiple times Jimmy had come by in the past day. But…it was empty and quiet. The little sandy strip of land that Tango and Etho and the rest of their team had been inhabiting early that afternoon was completely abandoned, the top few layers scraped away with no signs of life as far as Jimmy could see. He leapt across the little river separating it from the land, missing his step and sucking in a sharp gasp when his foot splashed into the water on the other side. He grimaced, shaking out his shoe.

Ugh. That was gonna be a pain to deal with later…

Slowly, quietly, Jimmy circled the little area a few times, his ear feathers flared to catch any stray sounds…but he heard nothing. Nothing but the sea and the wind and the occasional distant zombie or spider lingering off in the trees. Had they left? Had they moved on? Had they deemed the area not worthy and abandoned it even after their showdown against Jimmy and Joel? Jimmy sighed, a quiet and warbled chirp meeting the air and his wings drooping against his back. Oh. Maybe he should have messaged ahead. Of course, he had avoided doing that in the first place in case Tango was asleep and Jimmy’s message woke him up (and his teammates along with him), but it may have been a smarter move than simply sneaking over with no notice in the middle of the night. He cast a glance back the way he had come, the feathers around his ears pinning back against his head. Maybe he ought to go back. Maybe he should just give up and–

“...Jimmy?”

A hand brushed his shoulder, a whispered voice breaking the silence of the night, and Jimmy about leapt out of his skin. The sound that left him was one he was most certainly not proud of, but any embarrassment he may have felt vanished as soon as he whipped around on shocked, unsteady feet.

“Tango!”

And there Tango was, his clothes and hair just a little bit wet but his grin absolutely blinding. He had a hand half-raised and he was chuckling sheepishly, the corners of his eyes crinkled in amusement.

“Sorry, sorry!” He held back his laughter, his words low. “I didn’t mean to spook ya!”

Jimmy gaped at him and blinked away his surprise.

“Where did you even come from?!”

“Uh–” Tango jerked a thumb back over his shoulder toward the water then made a vague gesture toward his feet. “Our base? It’s underground. We dug out a bit of a sneaky-sneaky entrance underwater, but it’s a bit of a pain if I’m being honest. Except, after Martyn came through and dumped a pile of explosives on our heads it seemed like a good idea to get rid of topside entry, so–”

Oh. Oh. Oh, they were just–

“I thought you’d left or something,” Jimmy blurted, his feathers puffing up at the admission. “I didn’t see a base, and I haven’t heard from you since earlier, so I assumed…” He shrugged.

It sounded silly, really, when he said it like that. He sounded clingy almost, but he knew that Tango knew that wasn’t what he meant. In fact, Tango let out another stifled laugh and shook his head fondly, finally closing the gap to wrap a warm hand around Jimmy’s wrist and tug him closer.

“What, you missed me that much?” he murmured, teasing, cheeky, and Jimmy went a bit pink.

“Of course not,” he grumbled, trying to sound nonchalant, but from the way Tango’s grin widened he was doing an awful job.

It wasn’t as if Jimmy tried to hide that fact either. The moment Tango was close enough he all but melted into his soulmate’s space, cuddling close and tucking his face into the crook of Tango’s neck as though he belonged there. He slipped an arm around the blazeborn’s flame-warmed waist and let out a small sigh, the tension in his posture going slack almost instantly.

“Of course,” he amended, whispered, like a secret in the dark, and he reveled in the warm and affectionate little laugh he could feel vibrate through Tango’s chest from how closely they were standing.

“Wanna know the truth?” Tango asked. The fingers still wound around Jimmy’s wrist traced little circles against the skin where he held him. “I miiiight’ve been sneakin’ out to try and find you too.”

Jimmy pulled back just far enough to meet his eyes, his expression alight with curiosity and a flutter of affection warming his chest.

“Were you really?”

Tango grinned at him.

“What, you think I just happened to be outside when you came by?” he drawled. He cocked his head to the side with a sharp little smirk. “Nah, I ditched the guys to try and track down that mansion spot you and your team have claimed. It’s near spawn somewhere, and it’s kinda hard to miss. I figured I’d spot it soon enough. But it seems like you did some sneakificating of your own instead.” He lowered his voice playfully. “I guess you really are a bad boy, huh?” he teased, waggling his eyebrows, and Jimmy went a brilliant shade of red.

“Oh, stop, c’mon,” he whined, shrinking beneath the laughter in Tango’s eyes. “It’s just a team name, innit?”

“No no, I think I like it!” It was obvious Tango was withholding laughter as he carried on. “My soulmate’s a rebel. I think I can dig it. I’m sure I’ve got a leather jacket somewhere you can borrow if you wanna look the part–”

“Tangooo!”

Jimmy’s wings curled forward and he pressed his face back into Tango’s shoulder, if only to avoid the laughter he could see in every inch of his partner’s expression. And Tango did laugh then, bright and barking and echoing just slightly across the water. Jimmy grumbled and buried his face into the fabric of Tango’s hoodie, clearly something he had thrown on for the sake of his late-night escapade. His soulmate was the worst. W-O-R-S-T worst.

When Tango’s laughter finally faded, a calm sort of quiet settled over the pair. The water was calming and the breeze was light and the comfort of being back in Tango’s arms was enough for Jimmy to be so very tempted to drift off right where he stood…but that would be foolish, he knew. Except Tango’s touch along his wrist was soothing and at some point his other hand had come up to rest against the back of Jimmy’s neck, his fingers scratching lightly through Jimmy’s hair, and he was so warm.

“...don’t go fallin’ asleep on me, Feathers,” Tango teased softly. “C’mon, Grian won’t start the timers again until everyone is awake tomorrow. You can bunk up with me for the night, I’m sure none of the guys would mind.”

“Hm…?” Jimmy straightened slowly and it took him a long moment to register what Tango was offering. He frowned and glanced in the general direction of the mansion. “...they’ll wonder where I’ve gone,” he murmured. “Grain and Joel. I can’t - with the game–”

“Jim, c’mon.” Jimmy was pulled gently along toward the edge of the island and he didn’t really have much willpower to turn Tango down. “It’ll be fine. Etho is a super early riser. I’m sure he’ll wake one of us up before the rest of the server is up.”

Jimmy cast one last look back over his shoulder, but when he turned back to Tango, the blazeborn had a sweet, pleading look on his face, his eyes half-aglow and standing out in the darkness of the night.

“Please? I’ve missed you. I know we said it wouldn’t be fair to team together again but it’s driving me nuts being on the same server as you and not being near you.” He leaned in to better catch Jimmy’s eye. “You can’t sleep either, I can tell. One night. Clock’s not tickin’ right now. We’ve got time.”

They had time.

Jimmy sighed and let out warbled chirp, letting himself be tugged close to his soulmate again. Their foreheads bumped gently together, their noses brushing, and when they met in the middle in a soft and long-awaited kiss, Jimmy was the one to initiate it.

“...one night,” he returned once they had separated. “Just the one. Alright?”

Tango beamed.

“That’s all the time I need.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Our lives are made In these small hours These little wonders These twists and turns of fate Time falls away But these small hours These small hours Still remain

(A/N: ...approximately 30 seconds after they get into the base, they both receive a message from Scott saying he's glad they've "finally stopped flirting on the shoreline, water carries sound like you wouldn't believe".)

#Team Rancher #Solidaritek #TrafficShipping #Traffic Shipping #Limited Life SMP #24lsmp #Traffic Life SPOILERS #Limited Life SPOILERS #SPOILERS ABOUND #Pixiemage Writes

[iris-sistibly]

So we are officially half-way through this whole series, this isn't as intense as the previous episodes and I just generally enjoy seeing the Hong family having a taste of a simpler life.

📍Though I wanna slap Hae-in's mom so hard for still being such a bitch at the family who took them in when they have nowhere else to go, and the way that she resents Hae-in for having a REAL mother and daughter bond with Hyun-woo's mom instead of her? The audacity! Like she constantly treats Hae-in like crap, she didn't care when Hae-in fainted and worried more about her son being uncomfortable in their current situation, it's kinda confusing to me that she wonders why Hae-in never treated her the way she treats her MIL. But then again, she's a narcissist and a gaslighter, what am I expecting? The Baek family are much better people than me, because if I were them and someone disrespects MY family in my OWN home, I would have kicked her out this instant and let her sleep with the cows. Shout-out to Aunt Beom-ja for calling her out for the nth time.

Edit: I just remembered this now but I'm disappointed in Hae-in's dad. He cared so much about his daughter when they found out about the divorce, but couldn't even defend her when his wife was bad-mouthing her. I'm not expecting anything from mama's boy Soo-cheol, and I get that the irony of his character is him being the head of the family only by name but in reality, he doesn't have a spine, but he could have at least tried for Hae-in. Then again, the only people who defended Hae-in were Hyun-woo and Aunt Beom-ja. 🤷

📍Hae-in is basically the only person who can put Soo-cheol in his place, but she also has a soft spot for him. The way she almost patted her brother's back to comfort her and then stopped herself because she probably found it cheesy (I mean, they're asian siblings iykyk), but stays beside him without saying anything and just letting him cry was actually heartwarming.

📍Hae-in realizing that the mp3 player in Hyun-woo was actually hers and they've already met when they were teenagers 😭 how I wish Hae-in just told him straight that it was hers so poor Hyun-woo didn't have to make some random excuses so she wouldn't feel jealous or upset (he knows a jealous Hae-in is terrifying). Speaking of which, the text message scene was killing me, the way they messaged each other (even though they didn't actually send it) was so husband and wife coded y'all can't convince me that they're divorced. I wish they'd truly reconcile already and become lovey-dovey once more!

📍While it's pretty clear that they're still very much in-love with each other, part of me feels like Hae-in is pushing Hyun-woo away so she could free him from all of these burdens and when the inevitable happens, Hyun-woo could move on. While it's true that she's still hurting with everything that happened between them, I also sense some guilt in her, I mean she's not stupid, she knows what kind of crap he'd been through while living with her family. Meanwhile, Hyun-woo willingly stayed by her side, accompanying her in medical check-ups, helping her entire family to regain what had been stolen from them, protecting Hae-in without ever asking for anything in return (not even asking her to take him back) is just...ugh! It pains me, but their current situation will surely bring them closer to each other and I would love them to have that moment where they'd just talk about them.

📍I'm not surprised that Soo-cheol is not Geon-u's father, but aren't y'all curious to know who is? And I do have the feeling that Da-hye loves Soo-cheol for real, but she hasn't realized it yet. Still faithfully waiting for that day when she'll finally help the Hong family and get rid of that witch and her walking red flag of a son. Also, I feel like Grace would also testify once these scumbags go into trial, and I hope that happens soon.

📍Speaking of the devil's child, now that the show is slowly revealing the back story of Seul-hee and Eun-seong, basically they're saying that the latter is only acting under his mom's orders who by the way he resents so much but still works with her anyway? I thought he was cunning, turns out he's actually a stupid cunt. I mean, imagine going through all of this bullshit only for us to find out that his ultimate goal wasn't to take the entire Hong family's wealth like her greedy birth giver but to take Hae-in for himself as if she's some kind of a prize or trophy that he could get after ruining her and her entire family? If that's so, then he is really an idiot. If he thinks that Hae-in would desperately crawl to him because they're poor now then he can continue to dream. Hae-in would die without Hyun-woo but would rather die than be with Eun-seong. I do have the feeling that this bitch will use grandpa Hong to black mail/negotiate with the family and god forbid bring them back to the mansion (again, wtf), perhaps the only person who would be dumb enough to take the bait is probably Mama Hong because she's well...dumb too. And no, I don't care if he cares about Hae-in being sick, he's disgusting.

📍The thing that sets him and Hyun-woo apart is how they treat Hae-in, Eun-seong sees her as some kind of an object that he could snatch even if she's already married to someone else, he doesn't take no for an answer, has crossed her boundaries multiple times and only cares about getting her. While Hyun-woo treats Hae-in like an actual human being, yes he made mistakes and hurt Hae-in in the past but he sucked it all up and is constantly doing right by her. He respects her boundaries, never makes her feel uncomfortable, and cares about her well-being. Hyun-woo would be willing to let Hae-in go if it would make her happy, while Eun-seong would gladly make her miserable if it meant being with her. These two characters my friends, are love and selfishness defined.

📍Papa Baek and Papa Hong becoming drinking buddies will never not be cute.

#kdrama #netflix #tvn #queen of tears #kim soo hyun #kim ji won #kwak dong yeon #lee joo bin #park sunghoon #baek hyun woo #hong hae in #hong soo cheol #cheon da hye #yoon eun seong #my roman empire #baekhong #i can't wait for baekhong to become the power couple they have always been once more

[wiypt-writes]

Rawhide

Epilogue: Until The Cows Come Home

Summary: Five years post the final battle, Life at Avengers Ranch is pretty sweet

Warnings: Language, smut (NSFW) 18+

Pairing: Cowboy Alpha Steve Rogers x Omega Reader. Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any of the characters contained within this series bar the Reader and any other OCs that may or may not be mentioned. I do not give permission for this to be translated and/or reposted on any other platforms. Reblogs are fine: Sharing is caring.

By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

A/N: So here it is! The epilogue. I hope you enjoy. As of now, I have no plans really to continue but…perhaps if the muse strikes we might see a few one shots to follow up.

Rawhide Masterlist // Main Master-list

 Part 14

W/C: 5.4k

“My grandad told me about a cowboy he knew, once. We’re going way back to the forties here. He rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, pulled his gun, and fired a shot right into the air.”  Clint made a gun motion with his fingers and mimed the action.

“Way to make friends an influence people.” Pete rolled his eyes.

“Well, it was his horse, ya know, valuable commodities in those days. They still are.” Clint shrugged, “So, he goes back into the bar, kicking off, demanding to know which snake had taken his horse. No one answered, so he says that he’s gonna have one more beer, and if his horse ain’t back outside by the time he finished his drink, that he’s gonna ‘do what I dun in Texas, and I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas…’” Clint mimicked a southern accent and cleared his throat. “Some of the locals start shifting a little, ya know, nervous like. Anyway, true to his word, he has another beer, heads outside and his horse has been returned.”

“So, that’s it?” Bucky frowned, “that’s the point of this story?”

“Pretty much.” Clint shrugs, “he saddled up, and started to ride out of town. He hasn’t got more than a few yards though, when the bartender comes out and asks ‘say, partner, before you go…what happened in Texas?’ Dude tips his Stetson as he looks back and says, ‘I had to walk home’.”

There was a moment of silence, before the group groaned collectively, as Clint laughed. Bucky threw the crust of his sandwich at Clint’s head.

“That is the stupidest joke I’ve ever heard.”

Steve snorted, listening to the guys banter as he leaned back against the tree trunk, his hat pulled down over his face. It had been a busy few days, moving the herd back down to the summer pastures and getting ready to bale the hay and silage that would see them through the winter. But he wasn’t complaining. In fact, he hadn’t complained about much over the past 5 years or so.

 Well, bar Bucky being a persistent pain in his ass, but what else was new?

In the months that followed the battle, Fury had been appointed interim president of the WSC and had been permanently installed following a term of elections, for two terms running now. As such, the World Security Council had made good on its promise. Each state had their own elected representatives, and the divide which had separated red and blue states had been torn down.

 Of course, some states still held conservative views, but even in those areas things had gotten much better for Omegas. Because their basic human rights had been secured through the Omega Rights Act at a federal level, something they failed to do the first time round due to the WSC preferring the appeasement method. Now, violation of those rights was punishable by law, no matter where you were, although how much it was enforced was anyone’s guess and varied, again state to state.

It wasn’t perfect, but then again nothing was. And it had been met in some instances with violent opposition, but that had been quashed pretty quickly. Some had been in favour of a more gradual overhaul, suggesting that each state should be allowed to install their own laws around Alphas, Betas and Omegas, as a sort of half-way house with a view to eventually changing the overall attitudes of people.

But, as Tony said in his speech when he was elected as the Senator for Montana, “sometimes you gotta run before you can walk.”

Essentially, it was all that they could have hoped for, and whilst it wasn’t perfect, it was a damned site better than it had been. Steve's shield and suit, and indeed the rest of the Avengers’ weapons and kit remained untouched, gathering dust in the armoury. 

Things had even taken a turn for the better at the ranch. It was bringing in good money, both from the cattle and the sudden tourism boost, people flocking to see the battle grounds where the latest Civil War had taken place. This, in turn, had seen an expansion to the ‘Dude Ranch’. Although Steve hadn’t been particularly on board with that idea at first, he’d quickly been talked around.

As such, life for all the Avengers Ranch and everyone else in Stark Wood was good. In fact, life all round was good, but from a selfish point of view, the former was all Steve really gave a damned about now.

His mind strayed to you, and a soft smile spread across his face. Married now, you bore his name and his rings. More symbolic than anything, given the fact you were bonded beyond the normal ties of a bond anyway. But he’d wanted to show you exactly what you meant to him. Following his casual proposal, the night you’d returned home to the ranch, he’d done it properly a few weeks later. The pair of you had taken a ride up to the top of the hills and he’d gotten down on one knee at sunset, offering you his Mom’s ring. Which you’d tearfully accepted.

You’d married in the same place, the following summer, Thor overseeing the ceremony in his ordained state as Sheriff, and then you and your friends had partied long into the night in the huge tent on the grounds of the ranch.

Steve had kept good on his word too. Once he felt it was safe, the pair of you had gone to Texas where you’d visited your mama’s grave and told her you were okay, laying a bunch of her favourite wildflowers by her headstone. And then, you’d located Colin’s. Tactfully, Steve kept his distance there and allowed you to say a proper goodbye to your previous alpha. You’d told Colin (or at least you’d spoken to his modest headstone) all about your job at the ranch, how you worked shifts at the Vet clinic with Banner. You’d chuckled when you’d explained how you were still the one doing the books because your Alpha was just as bad at it as he had been…and you’d finished by thanking him for his sacrifice which meant you were alive today, and living the best possible life you could. Whether Steve believed in the afterlife or not, it had clearly made you feel better having said a proper goodbye, and who was he to deny you that?

He’d deny you nothing. He’d give you the moon and the stars in the sky to make you happy.

A boot kicking at the sole of his foot jerked Steve from his daydream, and he tipped his hat to look upwards.

“Ready to kick on?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah, yeah I am.” He smiled. With a groan, he pushed himself up and dusted down the seat of his well-worn wranglers before he mounted Star.

Together, the five men herded the longhorns down towards the pastures which surrounded the ranch, where the work would start over the next few weeks to tag the calves and conduct the health checks needed on the females. When the last one was in the correct pasture, Clint closed the gate with a click.

As they turned the final corner towards home, Steve couldn’t help the smile as he saw you in the riding arena. You leading Quin around, your Stetson sat on your head, a grin on your face as you walked. And upon Quin’s back sat a smaller figure, whose head was covered by a safety helmet.

Your daughter, Serenity Clara Rogers, known as Seren. It was a name chosen for its various meanings. In its full form her first name meant peaceful, which was what your lives had been since the battle and what you both hoped it would be for the rest of your lives. In its shortened, it translated as star, a small tribute to Steve’s emblem.

Her middle name was a payback to your Southern roots, and it meant bright and clear. And when it was all put together, it was exactly what she was to you both, a shining, bright star of peace and love and hope.

Getting Star up into a trot, and then a loping canter, he was pulling into the main grounds of the ranch a few minutes later.

“Daddy! Looks! I wides Quin!”

Steve grinned as he hopped off his horse and strode towards the paddock fence, looping the reins around the top rail. “I can see that!”

“Cans I has my own?”

Steve laughed, “you think you’re old enough?”

“I’m free!” A tiny handheld up three fingers as Steve faulted over the post and rails and strode towards you both.

“Hi, Cowboy.” You beamed as he kissed you softly.

“Hi, Doll.” His lips brushed yours before he turned to look at his daughter. She was much like you, same eyes, same hair, same attitude, and excitement to life. But, very much with the Rogers attitude and, funnily enough, his cheekbones and nose. 

“Good day?” 

“Yup, all cows present and correct. Did that new family check in?”

“Yeah, all good.” You nodded. “Oh, Banner called. He asked if I could cover the on call shift tonight at the surgery. Apparently Natasha has come down with that bug that’s going round, and he doesn’t want to leave her to take care of the baby Danny alone. Think they’re all still adjusting, ya know, after the adoption…”

“I think that’s okay, don’t you, Wren?” he playfully poked Seren’s tummy, speaking his nickname for her and she giggled.

“Cans we watch Toy Story? Wivs popcorns?”

“Toy Story? Again?” Steve groaned and Seren narrowed her eyes.

“I wikes it. Is my fave-rite.”

“Really, I’d never have guessed.”

Her Daddy’s sarcasm went right over Seren’s head, and you chuckled. “We got everyone coming for dinner tonight, baby, so you might not get chance.”

“After dinner?”

“We’ll see.” You smiled, “you ready to get down? I think Quin could do with a drink before we pop him out.”

“Otay…”Seren sighed, dramatically. She held her arms out and Steve reached up to pluck her out of the saddle. Her little arms wrapped around his neck as he kissed her cheek. “Daddy, your whiskers are scratchy!”

“Are they?” Steve frowned, before he rubbed his cheek against hers, causing her to squeal. Her hands pushed at his face as she giggled. With a laugh, Steve pulled back and she cupped his face, her fingers threading into his beard as she smushed his cheeks together.

“I wobes you, daddy bear.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. More than all the stars.”

Your heart swelled, the way it always did when you watched Steve with your daughter. She was the apple of his eye and he doted on her in all the right ways. He indulged her, let her be her own person, but wasn’t afraid to dish out the discipline when needed.

In contrast to Bucky, who pretty much let her get away with anything and everything.

Steve carried her out of the paddock, and you followed, leading Quin.

 “Unca Buck!” Seren squealed as she spotted her favourite uncle and she wriggled. Steve let her down and she took off towards him.

“Hey, Squirt!” Bucky grinned as he picked her up. “You had a good day?”

“Yips. Me and Mama took ‘Mando for a walk, dens we made lunch, and I rides!”

“yeah, I saw you on Quin. Bout time daddy got you a pony of your own, huh?”

“Dass what I saids!” Seren held her hands out to her side and Bucky laughed, ignoring the death stare Steve was shooting him.

“She might have a point, Alpha.” You smirked as you passed him by and tried not to chuckle as his head whipped towards you.

“huh?” he followed you into the barn. “Really? You think she’s old enough?”

“It’s not like she’ll be going on cattle drives.” You smiled as you undid the girth to Quin’s saddle. “But what harm can it do? A little pony or something she can love and cuddle. You’ve seen what she’s like with every animal she comes across.”

“Yeah, which is how we’ve ended up with a damned cat that lives in the house now and not the barn, much to Commando’s disgust.”

“Hey, Barney would have died otherwise…”

“And the guinea pigs? Were they on deaths door too when Bucky and Sam bought them for her?”

“Sparkle and Cookie live outside, well in Summer anyway…”

“The tank of goldfish?”

“She won one at a fair. Thor was right, it was mean to keep him in a bowl on his own. He needed friends.”

Steve scoffed and you snorted.

“Stop being a grouch.” You teased, “make the most of her being like this. Because give it ten, twelve years she’ll be out dating and chasing boys instead.”

“Over my dead body.” Steve glowered.

“You can’t fight her growing up.”

“No, but I can fight any punk that comes within a three mile radius of her.”

That made you laugh, as you placed Quin’s saddle on the rack. “Oh, Steve.” You turned towards him, stepping into his arms. He groaned, his face pressing into his neck.

“Stop it…”he whined. “I don’t want her to grow up, ever. Where’s our baby gone?”

“Okay, I’m sorry.” You kissed his cheek. 

“What time are you on call from?”

“Seven-ish.” you stroked the hair at the nape of his neck, which was a little damp with sweat. Not that you cared. “I might not be needed but, you never know.”

“Okay, so if we grill for dinner at sixish, you should be okay?”

“Counting on it.” you smiled, “sides and fixings are all ready.”

“You’re too good to me, to us.” He smiled, his lips pressing back to yours.

You hummed into the kiss, allowing him to pull you closer. The smell and feel of your Alpha, your soul mate, your husband washed over you as his strong arms wrapped around your back. You allowed yourself to get lost, giving into that Omega part of you that you now loved as much as Steve did. 

“Mama and Daddy is smoochin’!” A loud giggle came from behind you and Steve gave a small groan as he pulled away.

“Ewww!” Bucky wrinkled his nose, “do they smooch a lot?”

“Aaaallls da times!” Seren said, dramatically. “Unca Tony says mama wobes daddy’s animal maganatism…”

“I’m gonna kill Stark.” Steve muttered as you, and the rest of the gang laughed.

**********

As was customary post the cattle drives, you hosted the guys, plus their partners for dinner. Thor and Tony also joined you, along with his daughter, Morgan and Pepper who was sporting a pretty large bump as Baby Stark number 2 was very much about to make an appearance.

Morgan and Seren, separated in age by less than a year spent the spring evening playing in the garden, and by the time everyone was leaving they were both exhausted. Steve took this as a win as he didn’t have to sit there and watch Buzz and Woody for what felt like the hundredth time that week.

After bidding everyone goodbye, after clearing down the dishes and table, you headed off to take a call which had come through from the surgery.

Steve scooped his daughter up, “bedtime, baby.”

“I nots tired…” Seren protested, as she yawned and blinked hard.

“Sure…” Steve chuckled, “well let’s get you bathed and then we can discuss this, huh?”

Once bathed, dried and in her little set of cowgirl themed pajamas, Seren had given up the fight and was, indeed, half asleep. Steve tucked her into her little bed, chuckling as Commando took up his usual place on top of the comforter, by her side. Her little hand curled into his fur as she yawned.

“Story?”

“You bet.” Steve smiled, “which one tonight?”

“Spinderella.” She grinned. “I wikes dat one.”

“Spinderella it is…” Steve crossed the room to her bookshelf and then looked as you wandered into the room.

“I gotta go in.” You sighed, “one of Mr. Craft’s horses has injured itself, pretty badly in its stall. He said it can’t wait until tomorrow.”

“That’s okay, we got things here, huh Wren?”

“Yups.” Seren yawned again.

“I give her two pages, tops.” Steve chuckled, waving the book at you.

“I bet its four.” You smiled, leaning over to kiss her head. “Night baby, momma loves you so much.”

“Wobes you too, momma.” she hugged you before you stood up, ruffling commando’s fur. You then turned to Steve and kissed him quickly.

“I dunno how long I’ll be.”

“It’s okay’ Mega.” he smiled. “Drive safe, okay?”

You winked before you pulled away, his hand squeezing yours and you turned and left.

****

Seren actually fell asleep after three pages. When Steve heard her breathing even out, he glanced down and saw her eyes closed as she snuggled into him.

With a soft chuckle, he gently moved, his hand curling the back of her head. He lay her down, made sure she had her little bunny teddy with her and tucked her in.

“Night, my little star. Sweet dreams.” He whispered as he kissed her head.

Commando followed him as Steve headed down the hall after quietly shutting Seren's door. He padded his way down the staircase and found refuge at the wet bar for a drink before he settled up on the couch. His faithful dog hopped up next to him, resting his rather large head on Steve's lap. Flicking through channels, he found the mundane drone of the news filled his ears.

He watched the report and the panel as they chatted over a high profile court case that was filling the news at the moment, an actor versus his ex-wife who was accusing him of having jars of cocaine and ‘mega pints’ of red wine or some bull shit like that.

It was frivolous. And really, Steve had no idea why it was news. But the fact it was, meant there was nothing more worthy of the airtime, meaning things with the WSC and senate were calm.

Which was fine by him.

He sighed contently and brought his whiskey to his lips. He'd nearly finished the glass by the time he'd heard your truck pulling up toward the porch.

He checked his watch, all in all you’d been gone just over an hour. Which meant whatever it was can’t have been that serious. Hopefully, you wouldn’t get another call that night. It was rare that you did when you were covering the emergency shift.

Commando grunted and slipped off the couch to greet you at the door.

“Hi…” you bent down to give him loves, “hi, fella…”

His tail wagged and wagged happily. And when Steve snapped his fingers, the dog walked off. The simple command allowed you to get back inside and shut the door.

"That was quick," Steve spoke gently as he stood from the couch. He made it a point to never, ever have his back to you in conversation if he could help it. You were his equal and you deserved  equal respect.

“Oh, daft animal had been rearing in his stable and got his leg stuck. Nasty cut but I managed to clean it and pad it. Gave him a tetanus booster and that was it, said I’d check back in tomorrow.” You smiled, “I just need ten minutes to type up the notes before I forget.”

"Alright," Steve nodded. "Can I get you a drink. 'Mega?"

“I’ll take a tea, please.” You smiled, “best not drink anymore in case I gotta go back out.”

You took your tablet from your bag and headed to the couch. By the time Steve was placing your drink down, your notes were done.

You shut the device down and placed it on the coffee table, picking up your drink and getting yourself comfortable as you swung your legs up beside you.

Steve picked up your leg from the ankle and set it in his lap, his strong hands rubbing over your calf through your jeans.

"Seren go down okay?"

“Three pages.” Steve chuckled.

You smirked as you blew a little over the rim of your mug, "new record."

“Think today tuckered her out. And I did a little thinking…”

He watched you wince a little as he dug into a knot, "what's that?" You looked at him.

“Maybe a pony of her own ain’t such a bad idea.”

“Okay, that…that didn’t take much convincing at all, Alpha.”

Steve chuckled then he sighed, "I think she's ready. I could make a few calls, see who's got one available."

“No need…” you bit your lip. “The Crafts have one…their youngest has outgrown him. I said I’d talk to you…”

"Oh," Steve nodded, "that works then."

“Yeah, convenient…” you agreed. And then Steve noticed the smirk on your face.

He gave a groan and a snort. “Was I actually going to get a say in whether or not she got a pony or was this just something you were gonna do regardless?”

"I mean I was just making it known that we'd discussed it. Formalities of checking with my mate and all that."

Oh, checking with your mate? Don’t you mean asking permission from your Alpha?” Steve teased.

"Details, details," you sniggered.

Steve rolled his eyes and took a sip from his drink. “So, what is it?”

“A male Shetland pony. Called Coco.”

Steve merely nodded as you continued.

“And. Let’s face it, it’s an investment.” You continued, “because when Seren has outgrown him, well…hopefully there’ll be another little one who’s ready to take the reins so to speak.”

Steve's face softened. "yeah?"

“Yeah.” You looked at him, a smile on your lips. “I thought that maybe when my next heat is due to hit, I don’t get my shot…see what happens.”

"Don't, don't do it." He sat forward, "I'm ready, darlin'."

You bit your lip, “me too.”

Steve held your ankles on his lap with one hand and leaned forward toward you more, "I want as many pups as we can, while we can."

“Woah, slow down there cowboy…” you chuckled, “I’m absolutely happy for two, I could be persuaded for three…”

Steve pecked your lips, "I'm teasing. We talked about two, but I'd be alright with three."

You smiled, your hand running through his hair, and then you moved to press your fingers to your mark.

I love you… your voice echoed in his head.

“I love you too," he whispered lowly. "So much, 'Mega."

“Kiss me Alpha.”

It took a tiny growl from his chest before his lips slowly, tenderly melted against your own. His soft kiss fluttered your insides and without though to it, you were in his lap.

Your hands cupped his bearded cheeks, the pads of your fingers softly brushing against his bristles as your lips allows his to lead them in a slow, sensual dance.

"Lemme love on you, 'Mega."

“Always…” your nose brushed his, “take me to bed.”

Steve needn't say another word, nor make any extra moves. He simply stood as he settled you into his arms and began his way towards the stairs. Blindly, yet expertly, he carried you up and up, to your bedroom where your bed awaited.

With a tenderness he reserved especially for you, he laid you down in the middle, on top of your pale blue comforter and positioned himself over you. One knee nestled between your thighs, his left hand planted by your head whilst his right hand cupped your face.

"My beautiful 'Mega," his voice whispered as his breath gently fanned your face.

Your own hand reached up, fingers gently tracing the curve of his jaw as he closed his eyes.

“My handsome, strong, protective Alpha.” You purred.

Time stood still when the two of you were like this. The intimacy so pure, that it squeezed at the heart in your chest that now beat for only he and Seren.

Steve dipped his head and captured your lips in a soft kiss. The feel of his lips on yours made you hummed against him. You parted your lips as the tip of Steve's tongue tickled at the pucker lines of your bottom lip.

Your hands dipped, finding the hem of his shirt and you gave a tug.

Steve's kiss barely stopped as you pulled the shirt up and over his head. The material pooled at his wrist by your ear. His fist curled together in his right hand, and he knuckled the mattress to flick away his tee. His lips were quickly back on yours trailing across your jaw and down your neck.

You sighed, happily, an Omega trill rolling in your throat which made Steve grumble a chuckle in response.

He sat back on his knees and pulled at the hem of your own tee as he did so, taking your body with him. With a light giggle you fell back with a little bounce to the mattress.

"That's better," Steve rasped as he bent back over you. He continued his trail of bearded kisses down your décolletage, to between your breasts and descending towards your navel.

He smiled against your skin as your belly twitched, always the same. So sensitive and ticklish in areas. He found it cute, and sexy.

He gave a nip to the skin below your belly button at the tip of your scar that gave him his daughter. Then he kissed the sting away tenderly. Those glittering, cerulean eyes looked up at you and he smiled against your skin.

You felt as if you blinked and then suddenly you laid naked before your Alpha, bar the bra that covered your breasts.

You chuckled and Steve looked at you, his chin resting on your sternum.

“What?”

“Nothin, just the speed at which you undress me always amuses me.”

"You make me very impatient, doll."

“I bet you say that to all the girls…”

"Just you," he smirks as his beard began to tickle the inside of your calve.

“Good to know…” you sighed.

"Mmhmm," he kept his lips to your leg.

You trilled again as whiskers tickled the inside of your thigh.

“Oh, Mega…I love those noises…” he worked his way up.

He nudged that joint where hip and thigh came together, scenting you. Your hand automatically tangled in his hair, your breath hitching in your chest.

Tentatively, Steve nosed your mound, the tip of his tongue tickling your swelling, sensitive bud. You whined, your back arching off the bed.

A low rumble sounded in your ears as Steve tasted you. He locked at you like a kitten to milk.

You whimpered and moaned softly, your knees caging his head in at his ears as your alpha gave you what you craved, what you wanted.

He'd eat away at you with fervor, then he'd slow to a near stop and  make love to you there like it would be the last time.

And you loved every single moment.

Your orgasm was growing close, and you felt your body teetering on the edge of bliss. Tingling through your body felt like soda bubbles in your nerves.

"S'close, Alpha..."

He growled a little, before just as you knew he would, he slowed down. Leaving you mewling and begging for more.

"Please, Alpha..."

With a final grunt, Steve pulled away and wiped his face on the comforter. With a quick movement, he was up, out of his jeans and then back over you.

You were breathless, your body aflame. A sheen of sweat was beginning to cover your skin as you burnt hot from within.

“I got you, mega…” he whispered.

Steve held himself as he slipped right into you, a moan from you and a groan from him filling the airy space of the room.

Your hands flew to his broad back, curling round his shoulders as you dug your fingers into his muscles.

"You feel so good, doll." Steve's voice tickled your ear.

“You too…” you whimpered, your voice barely a whisper over your panting.

Steve pulled back and slowly thrust back in, a rolling tide to his hips as he set the pace of loving on you.

His hands reached for yours, fingers lacing through your own as he pressed them either side of your head.

You sighed as his body melted into yours. The weight of him felt like a warm blanket, comforting you and securing you. It gave you a never ending sense of security. And to lock your bodies together tightly; you raised your hips and brought your ankles up to settle the heels of your feet against his lower back.

“Shit…” he grunted, his eyes closing for a moment before they opened, locked back on yours.

"There you are, Alpha," you sighed as he kept rolling those hips into you. "Don't ever hide." His eyes flashed a little as you arched into him even more. “Let go, Steve…”

"No....not 'til you...."

Always putting you first, that never changed. No matter what, you were his priority in your moments together. 

You preened your neck, stretching out for him. You felt his nose dip along your mark, and he shuddered. Your lips parted in a sigh as you started to tilt your hips again to meet him.

His teeth nipped softly at your mating gland, enough for you to feel it, but not enough to break the skin.

"Oh shit," you rasped. "Alpha...."

“Mega…my mega…”

"I'm...." you needed just a little more, you were so damn close.

Steve knew, he always knew. His hips picked up the pace, but somehow he kept the same depth and rhythm. 

His lips claimed yours, the kiss deep yet soft. A juxtaposition. Just like your alpha himself. So strong, get gentle. So firm, but soft.

"Alpha...." you whined as you tightened around him, your nose buried right against his mark.

“Cum for me, mega…” his voice was deep, his instruction clear. It was an alpha command, the only time he ever used them in you was in moments like this. 

And you craved it.

"Oh my....fuck, yes," you came with a cry.

“Good girl…” Steve panted, his lips back at your mark.

You whined, whimpered then whined again at the praise.

“My beautiful Omega…” Steve’s words were almost whispered, a strain in his voice. 

He was close.

"Steve....let go, baby," you cooed.

“Fuck…” 

You nudged at him with your nose, bringing his eyes back to yours.

Like times before there was the fleck of gold that flashed in his eyes, and you knew he saw it in yours. For the room went black and beyond the gaze of your connection a galaxy swarm around you.

When you finally found yourself again, Steve’s face was buried in your neck. He was panting, deeply. The rise and fall of his chest pressing against you and then releasing you from its hold.

Your fingertips danced up his spine and into the hair at the nape of his neck.

He gave a soft hum.

"I love you, my Alpha," you whispered.

“I love you too, my Omega. And I always will. Until the cows come home.”

“Until the cows come home,” you kissed his neck, before he moved and captured your lips with a soft, sweet kiss. “Until the cows come home.”

#rawhide #alpha steve rogers x you #alpha steve x omega reader #cowboy steve rogers x you #cowboy steve rogers #avengers au

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

Dieter and the Goats

(Dieter x horror loving female)

Words: 813

Summary: Dieter goes to goat yoga (check out masterlist here to see where it falls in the Love of Horror timeline)

Warnings: Dieter being Dieter, baby goats so lots of fluffy adorableness, some saucy suggestions at the beginning and the end

“Are you enjoying the view Dieter?”

“Immensely!”

You had just moved from child’s pose to cat and cow stretched, which gave your boyfriend a front row seat to a view of your behind.

You never took yoga seriously until after getting together with Dieter. He tended to be tremendously passionate not to the point of intently hurting you, but you ended up with sore muscles where you didn’t realise you had muscles before.

Dieter Bravo never took an interest in yoga. He only took and interest once you came along. He thoroughly enjoyed watching you do your morning stretches but he would never participate. You tried to get him interested by suggesting it would help with his back. He would only participate if it involved you and it was sans clothing.

So he was happy to just watch you.

But you had a surprise in store.

It was just an ordinary day, well that was the impression you were giving off, so Dieter suspected nothing as you drove him to an unsuspecting location.

He didn’t follow you straightaway, he stood for a little bit until you took his hand.

“I suspect something honey cakes.”

“Do you?” you tugged him along. “It’s a surprise.”

“Is it a sexy one?”

“It’s a nice one.”

He pouted in a suspicious way as he followed you into the yoga studio. He took a look around and deduced the situation.

“A yoga studio? Does this mean I have to take my socks off?”

“In this place, yes.” He gave off an adorable small whine as he sat on his yoga mat.

“Why are we here? It’s just a-” his sentence was cut off by a high-pitched squeal.

That high pitched squeal came from Dieter.

He squealed in excitement as a small herd of baby goats came into the room.

*****

You were feeling a bit self-conscious with all these fellow yoga participants as they had model perfect bodies. Dieter didn’t even glance at any of them because he only had eyes for you.

But also, there were baby goats.

Most of the women were hoping to get their social media worthy picture of them in various poses with the baby goats. But all the goats were attracted to Dieter.

There must have been something in his demeaner or scent that attracted them.

Now you knew why he didn’t take his socks off; every baby goat that licked his feet elicited a small series of the most adorable giggles from Dieter.

It seemed that every little sniff over any part of Dieter caused him to giggle from how ticklish their little noses were.

Everyone was in downward facing dog and one brave little goat climbed up his legs and perched on his behind.

“Look!” he called to you. “Look! They’re on my butt!”

He was surrounded by baby goats, and he was in heaven.

“Yes, my lovelies! Climb Mount Dieter!”

He moved into a lunge which gave the goats more room to climb up onto him and a small queue was forming.

“You know if we just let baby goats walk all over me, my back would be cured in no time.”

You were glad he was having fun.

Everyone was now in the final Savasana which meant the baby goats could fall asleep on everyone’s lying down, although most of them were attracted to Dieter’s soft form.

“I think you’ve stolen all the goats.”

“It’s not my fault they all love me.”

He didn’t want to move as several of the goats had fallen asleep around him. The smallest most adorable one was on his chest, and he had clearly fallen for it.

That would explain why he loved you.

“Dieter, we have to go.” He held the goat close to him.

“I don’t want to wake Theordore.”

“Theodore?”

“Clearly, he’s a Theodore.”

With a mournful sigh, he sat up hugging the goat he named Theodore close to him. He kissed the top of its fluffy head.

“You are special,” he told the baby goat. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

You almost shed a tear with how adorable the whole scene was.

*****

Before you got into the car, Dieter embraced you and kissed you with such passion, the strength left your legs but thankfully his strong arms were holding you up.

“Thank you,” he said once his lips left yours. “You’re the loveliest person ever. No one has ever taken me to hang out with baby goats. You’ve done that twice now, so you’re twice as lovely as everyone else.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “I just like to see you happy.”

“Oh, Dieter happy,” he pulled you close, so his hips were snug with yours. “When we get home, do you want to climb Mount Dieter?”

You could feel that indeed that mountain wanted to be climbed and you thoroughly agreed.

“It’s a good thing I’ve stretched.”

Lovingly tagging @boliv-jenta @simpingcowboy @ellenmunn @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @chaithetics @myloveistoolittle @cevans-is-classic @glshmbl @cupcakehp @gswizzsstuff @oonajaeadira @grogusmum

#pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #dieter x honey cakes #love of horror fanfic #love of horror universe #love of horror #the bubble netflix #the bubble

[warriorstickers]

Cavernclan, Year 2, Greenleaf

-> Burntheart is wrapped around Cherryfreckle while she purrs, feeling ready to burst with love for their litter of three kits. 

-> Reedburr is yowling about ticks in their den

-> Despite enforced nest-rest, and a well wrapped wound, Antburrs wound is looking concerning to the Medicine cats. They discuss what to do if the wound infection spreads. 

-> Humans dig up the clan’s camp, digging to the cave with a machine. Noticing the cats, they attempt to grab as many as they can. They cat-nap Glowfish, Antburr (who was too slow to run and was being protected by Glowfish), Pearpaw and Leafkit. 

-> Burntheart managed to protect Cherryfreckle and their new kits, along with Reedburr.

-> Cherryfreckle is devastated at the loss of her adopted son Pearpaw, and holds her new kits close, paranoid that all of her kits will be stolen from her. 

-> Leafbite did his best to protect all of his kits, but his old injured leg slowed him down. How yowls with rage over losing Leafkit 

-> Rattleripple is devastated at losing Glowfish, and understands how her mentor must have felt when the clan was attacked before

-> Oatsky has lost both her kits now, and is furious. 

-> Goldstar decides he has to uproot his clan again, in order to keep them safe. While everyone is scared, he orders the clan onward. They go on a long trip, doing their best to care for the kits, and take what herbs and prey they can.

-> When the clan asks where they are going, Goldstar gets a stormy and determined look on his face, simply responding “Home.” 

-> Talondrift finds a cow feather, and decides to put it in her pelt, hoping to cheer herself and the kits up. 

-> Cherryfreckle is struggling after giving birth, especially with moving the kittens. Her delivery took a lot out of her, and the area has remained painful. Rattleripple worries it might be infected. 

-> Burntheart, while trying to help his mate and of their kits, plus the clan, twists his paw.

-> Struggling with the loss of both of her kits, Oatsky decides to distract herself by cuddling up to Viktorclaw. The big tom obliges happily.

-> The clan is struggling to care for themselves and all the little kits, while traveling and coping with their losses. Many are reminded of the past, and Goldstar seems in a vicious mood.  Rattleripple is feeling stretched very thin. 

-> Talondrift, Yarrowfur and Viktorclaw range out to try and find some food for the clan, while the clan rests. They manage to find a few mice to bring back. 

-> Some of the older cats recognize the direction Goldstar is leading them, and are filled with hope and fear. 

-> Specklepaw is made an apprentice to Talondrift. He wonders if a warrior path is right for him. He’s become rather cold, but it’s really that he doesn’t know how to express his feelings. 

-> Tinypaw becomes an apprentice to Yarrowfur. She’s charismatic, and makes her mentor feel hopeful

-> The new mentors take time to train their apprentices, as they journey. 

-> Cherryfreckle has to scold Fishkit for being naughty

-> Briarkit gets praised for being good

-> Reedburr and Goldstar discuss where they’re heading, with Reedburr asking if this is the right thing to do. 

-> Nettleberry, Oatsky and Fallingfur range out to hunt. Oaksky spots a rabbit ahead, behaving oddly, shaking. They think it will be easy prey, but it manages to evade them. 

// Cavernclan is on the move!

#Cavernclan #Clan Gen

[kit-the-gaygent]

After MC leaves Devildom they feel lonely at their house.

The seven voices greeting them every morning aren't there anymore. The warm cuddles, and faces that would light light up whenever they entered the room.

And so they get a cat, and name it Mammon, after their first demon. They're a fluffy white cat with blue eyes. MC gives the cat a yellow collar with a bell

And it begins to make them feel less lonely. Mammon the cat makes them feel loved again. They cuddle together at night, and MC finds themselves talking to the four pawed friend a lot.

Mammon favorite place to be is right by MC's side while they work on their computer in bed.

Several weeks later MC starts to notice a new cat looking though their windows, specifically when their watching anime their otaku demon friend recommended to them. Their short haired grey cat with orange eyes.

And before MC knew it the cat was dubbed Levia-chan and had entered MC's home as well.

They had acquired pet friendly hair dye and Levia-chan got purple tips on his tail and bangs. Mc hot glued a long pink ribbon to his purple collar like Rui-chan had.

Levi would watch anime and video games with MC. Mammon would often steal from Levi's food bowl, but the two got along most of the time.

The grey fluff would soon warm up enough to his new living space that he would join the cuddling party on MC's bed at night and while they were working.

A couple of weeks had past and one day MC was out getting Groceries, when they heard a bark behind them. They turned around arms full of plastic bags, to see a large golden retriever with fluffy orange fur.

The dog was barking, and he looked rather hungry. MC remembered back to the guttonus demon back at the House of Lamentation; and how he would stand behind MC waiting for food as they cooked dinner for the boys.

They looked back at the dog, and felt their heart grow warm.

And by dinner time the dog was named Beel, had a collar similar to the demon's necklace, and the house hold of one human and two cats, grew to add one dog in the mix.

One night while taking walking with Beel a loud cry came from an alley way. MC, being all fight and zero flight, went to investigate. There in the middle of a circle of cats were two cats. One has long strawberry blond fur, and the other was a smaller blond short haired cat. The strawberry blond was looking very dramatic laid out with it's barely scratched paw out in front of it crying it's eyes out. While the shorter blond cat looked pissed off and was protecting the bigger one.

MC stepped into the circle and picked up the two cats, while shooing away the rest of the hostile cats. The strawberry blond was nuzzling into MC's chest as it cried, and the blond looked like it was blue screening. Beel was sniffing at the floofs and wagging his tail.

And soon two more cats joined the house hold. The strawberry blond was named Asmo after the diva devil, and had stolen one of MC's black scarves to wear. And the little blond cat was now named Satan, and received a green bow tie that matched his pretty green eyes.

And then there was scratching at the screen door. And MC was greeted to Beel holding a sleeping black fluffy cat by the scruff in his mouth.

Ah. The twins had been recreated in animal form.

And so a Belphie cat was an additional fur baby to the family.

Asmo was just as dramatic and glamorous as his demon counterpart, and Satan seemed to love when being read to.

Belphie was a little bastard, but was usually really cuddly and napped often. MC had given the sleepy boi a little cow bell collar and cow bed for him to sleep on. To which he proceeded to drag the bed all over the flat to nap.

The cuddle pile had grown in size, and MC's bed was mostly covered with their cats and dog.

MC usually took a day to bathe all of their pets, which took a while.

Mammon only tolerated baths when he was promised treats, Levia-chan loved baths and it took a while to get him out of the water. Beel was okay with getting a bath, however he only liked being dried off with a towel as he hated the hair dryer. Asmo absolutely lived for baths, and only tolerated certain brands of pet shampoo to wash his fluffy coat. Satan hated water, but seemed to go with it if MC had a podcast or audio book playing in the background. And Belphie always tried to jump out of the bath, though dealt with the bath if Beel was in the bath with him.

On another walk with Beel, with Belphie being carried in a cat back pack, there was a loud barking and yelling coming from behind one of the shops in town.

MC decided to investigate once again in case there was a puppers in trouble. Rounding the corner MC was shocked to see one of the shop keepers harassing a doberman. The dog was trying to fight back but the keep was beating the poor thing with a broom.

MC intervened and got in front of the dog and broom. Apparently the doggo was hungry and digging through the garbage behind the shop. And the shop keep was about to call the pound to retrieve it.

MC looked at the dog who was clearly scared but trying to act tuff. Deciding their house needed another dog to balance out the cats MC managed to pick up the large dog and the four began the journey home.

Lucifer, which was now the new comer's name, was given lots of love and care from MC. A pretty red spike collar was given to the big fur friend and a proper bath just before.

And while their seemed to be a few feathers ruffled by the new dog all seemed well.

MC's home finally felt full, even though they still missed the brothers, and all that they met through the exchange program.

Their bed was covered in animals to cuddle with and love was given to all of their fur babies.

MC wished for the day that the brothers would meet their counter parts, along with hope to not be dubbed as the crazy pet person by their neighbors.

#obey me #cats #dogs #obey me MC #obey me luficer #obey me! mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #fanfic/ headcannons

[s0ftl3]

𝑩𝒓𝒖𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝑲𝒏𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒔

The frat house is crowded; filled with the noise of a thousand different conversations, and dozens of repeat patrick bateman costumes. The Chi Sigma frat was hosting a summer event that they called “Halloween in July”; It was their attempt to gain more pledges in the upcoming semester. Your boyfriend, the president, insisted that you come and that you match your costume to his. You were never one to refuse your boyfriend the opportunity to do something so cheesy as a couple.

So, here you were, standing in the middle of the living room, dressed head to toe in cow-print. You’re wearing a rather revealing romper, a headband with cow ears and horns connected to it, and pulling it all together is the cowbell adorning your neck. From where you stand in the living room, you watch as Ted, dressed as a cowboy, is clapped on the back by Jonathan. Jonathan, more oftenly referred to as schlatt, is Ted's vice president and bestfriend. 

A voice pulls you out of your trance, making you turn to find the body it came from. “Hey there, cutie, what are you supposed to be?” He’s clearly drunk because A, it’s fairly obvious you’re meant to be a cow, and B, he reeks of cheap alcohol. You try not to let your annoyance show, not wanting to be too rude. 

“Oh, um thank, you,” you look into the kitchen hoping to see Ted headed back your way with your drinks, unfortunately for you, Schlatt has stolen him away for a shot, “I’m a cow, it uh makes a little more sense when you see my boyfriend’s costume. He’s a cowboy.” 

The cocky smirk on his face drops a little but returns before he utters the most out-of-pocket sentence to you, “I think you being a cow makes perfect sense on its own, you’ve got huge jugs.” Your jaw drops, and before you can react he’s reaching for your chest, trying to cop a feel. The bodies surrounding the two of you make it hard to take more than a few steps back but you do manage to get out of his reach.

You don’t see the look of pure anger on Ted’s face from the entryway of the kitchen. His jaw is clenched as he takes long and heavy strides towards the guy in the middle of a conversation with Charlie, the exchequer. Charlie’s rushing to keep Ted from beating the shit out of this guy with Schlatt in tow.

You do, however, see how Ted’s fist connects with the stranger's jaw, making him take a step back from you. 

“What the fuck is your problem dude?” the guy, you’ve decided to call him Trevor for now, yells at your boyfriend. He lunges at Ted, lands a hit on his lip, and his bottom one is split. It doesn’t look awful, but it’s definitely gotta hurt.

The two engage in an all-out fight, though Ted looks to have the upper hand, before Schlatt and Charlie pull them away. You follow Schlatt as he pulls him out to the bathroom sitting Ted on top of the lid of the toilet. 

“Keep him here while I go help Charlie throw that fucker out,” and with that he huffed and slams the door. Ted’s got his arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face. You hook your index finger under his chin making him look up at you. 

“Hey, he’s gone now and I’m perfectly fine,” his facial expression softens at that, “you, on the other hand, look pretty rough. You reach for the hand towel hanging next to the sink, wetting it with cold water.

He’s honestly surprised you’re not upset with him for starting a fight, instead, you’re taking such good care of him. “Should’ve killed him,” he pauses hissing in pain as you wipe his lip, “He was trying to touch, my baby.” You fight back a giggle and kiss his forehead.

“It would be a little hard to keep other creeps from touching me from prison baby.” He nods drunkenly; the shots he took with the boys hitting him now. 

“Be hard to marry you from prison too.” he pouts. You’re a little shocked at Ted’s drunken mention of marriage and you decide that’s a conversation best saved for when Ted isn’t slurring his speech.

#chuckle sandwich #ted nivison #ted nivison smut #chuckle sammy #chuckle sandwich smut #thinking so hard about ted #ted nivison angst #ted nivison fluff

[safrona-shadowsun]

Day 3: Bargain / Myth Daily Writing Challenge 2024 February 20th - Day 3

Demonology cut into her late on the Path, the study netting her now as it should have so many years ago when she had called her first imp from the Nether Reaches. Her aim had been different in those days, as different as she was now in the flesh. Vaguely, she could recall the wisps of anger from some forgotten corridor of memory, some betrayal she could no longer source. Such slight vibrations of memory that could have easily been the old slivers of soul from entities she had collectively taken through the years.

It would be sensible to think of these alien fragments as pieces to mold to her own identity and accept them as such, but speaking the words did not always fit them conveniently into the mind, the heart, the fractured soul. Stolen life and memory without a vital component of experience never seemed the very normal transition of growth, no matter how appearances could deceive.

Still, the desire to inflict pain was an old vice that seemed integral to the core now, a desire she knew had lead her into the obsession with curse-weaving, the eventual sharp hunger for souls. A wild obsession that her demons fed her into for so many years, that she had inexplicably bonded with them over, and became too close in a way she regretted now in some ways. 

Elernia was by far the strongest example of how she had gone wrong on the Path. The succubus had been allowed too close, too deeply embedded in her histories, attached to who the warlock may have been in years prior rather than who Safrona strived to be now. And while having the cunning Elder Sayaadi in her menagerie proved advantageous on many occasions, the demon’s audacity had never cooled, nor her jealousies or avarice. Inflicting death as punishment was only really ever temporary through the years - Safrona was beginning to feel Elernia was becoming eager for each murder. Far be it for her to cut the strings from such a willful demon and loose her on the universe. No, Elernia needed to be cowed.

So now Safrona followed the myth of a solution to the Tomb of Sargeras, irritated that she was strategizing a more dire method to keep the damned succubus in line. Much as she held her dismay for collecting another grimoire, the glowing tome she’d spotted on the altar of offering in a particular alcove looked promising. Safrona found herself reading, for once, or rather skimming past the Eredun text and admiring the illustrated imagery, the debased scrawlings of ritual reagents–

A scourged whip lashed out at her knees, a nasty weapon embellished with felflame. The void resonance around the warlock was strong enough to absorb the damage however - or consume it. “Really?” Safrona retorted in deep annoyance at the succubus who dared, who did not know she had slaughtered the lower floor of demons beneath them with a single notes of whispered death. 

“Hello Pretty~” The indignant reply only caused the fel-tinged succubus to lash out again, as if it would make a difference. She laughed, even, a strike of madness to overcome the inkling of doubt the demon may have had in seeing her strikes fall useless. “It’s so nice for a sacrifice to bring themselves to the door for once! Let me thank you for the delivery!”

The long-time courier in Safrona actually scoffed in mild amusement, standing in place as the void aura absorbed each futile lash, unharmed. The whip-play in itself was quite a skill, the demon’s flourishes and lethal dance no doubt intimidating if the power had matched the display. The demon had signs of evolution by Legion standards, her wings marked by Fel flame, armored for battle. Clearly the Sayaadi was trained for more than petty games, but the warlock wondered if the Fel progression had eaten her mind too far to even comprehend manipulative tactics.

“Come now, you must be smarter than this.” Safrona sliced out with her scythe to sever the whip’s lashing. It was the least she could do that would not annihilate the lesser demon outright. “It’d be worthless for me to spend energy in killing you. The Nether would spit you right back out - what a week later? And you're not strong enough as you are for me to even bother collecting. So why don’t you just stand pretty and answer my question instead?”

“Why would I bargain with mortal trash?” The Sayaadi spat, but was caught off guard enough by the idea to cease her attacks. 

“Because your sisters believe it to be fun, I imagine?” Safrona slipped into Eredun, which the demon seemed further surprised by. Clearly she had never bothered to hold a conversation with any that entered the ‘temple’, besides her own kind. 

“You desire something then?” The succubus tilted her head with a progressing curiosity. A smile began to curl smugly on her fanged lips. “Power? You come to the Tomb of Sargaras for Power.”

“Ugh, nothing so simple or trite.” Safrona sighed. It was a truth, but she did not like the demon’s wording. “I am not looking for…’evolution’, get that right out of your head now.”

The demon pouted, her urge for violence temporarily stalled for the interest of a new entity, a new power, stronger than her own. Her baring of teeth in a smile loosened, inviting the thrumming power she sensed to prickle at her senses, as well as something distinctly abnormal from the Warlock. “You are blessed with power already, and you know my tongue enough to have tasted our ways. You crave power, right down to the pretty little light you call a soul.”

“And you crave possibly to not suffer another inconvenience of being cut from the waking world, so why don’t you stop trying to analyze me before I tire of this and displace you?”

A heated chuckle was dredged up from the demon’s throat, but she quieted and gave her attention.

“I am looking for a grimoire or texts on Sayaadi-specific spells. Augmentation, perhaps…anatomy maybe.”

The Sayaadi laughed. “You are looking for a scroll of instruction on what… Sayaadi customs? We do not write stories, my Pretty.”

“Maybe you should. The leading heads of the Legion have been severed, and Sargaras himself has been thrust away to the ends of the universe, as I hear it. And you are bound here eternally, waiting for orders that will never come.” Safrona mimicked the common Sayaadi, casually eyeing her nails. “Or, what? Waiting for the next opportunist to march in here and slaughter you for the laughs?”

This drew a hissing response from the Sayaadi. “There is nothing here for you. And we are many.”

“Well,” the Warlock shrugged. “I’m sure someone enjoys bowling through the masses of you?”

The succubus hissed violently and leapt upon Safrona, wings buffering her assault. The resulting explosion of Fel mouths from the Warlock manifested within seconds, the Felhounds eager to tear into any flesh for their Mistress. Each dog wrestled the Sayaadi to the ground, rejoicing in her screams as they held each wing fast, pinning her to the floor of the debauched temple. It was by pure luck that the demon had not suffered full death on the initial result, but now the Sayaadi’s life’s breath was a single thread hanging in the balance. As potential ideas washed over her thoughts, Safrona felt the collector in her rise with a need, and that inkling of desire for power bloom beneath it.

“You know you will never leave this silly little haunted house, demon. You are without a leader. Without a goal. You are stuck, dying here every week, never progressing, never knowing what lies outside those doors.” 

“Kill me already and leave then, pfhah!”

The warlock smiled inwardly, and heeled her own demons, eventually watching them be pulled back to the realm they emerged from. “I could free you, in a manner of speaking. Bind you to me.”

Now the succubus cackled, choking on her blood. “You mock me! Why would I agree to that?! You entered this place to destroy me."

“And now I ask you to join me.” The warlock stepped away from the dying demon, casually stepping from the mess on the temple floor as easily as one might step away from casual notes of conversation. “Or you could not. You could die here again, enter our world a week later again, and repeat the whole stagnant cycle for another decade, or century. And I will move on to better things, more secrets. More power.”

“A slave…to the legion’s whim…” the demon rasped. “Or a slave to yours? Tell me…what is the difference?”

“Well, you won’t be trying to decimate Azeroth anymore, that is for certain. It’s various degrees of change, potentially. Not that you’d understand it now, in this place. But it will be more than you ever had now,” Safrona breathed out a full sincerity. “You do not truly begin to evolve clinging to the past.”

Binding a new demon to her 'employ' hadn't exactly been Safrona's plan, but it was a progressive step in the long run.

{ @daily-writing-challenge }

#safwriting #About Safrona #februarydwc2024 #februaryday32024 #Orb of the Fel Temptress #How Safrona got a new succubus #warlock #world of warcraft

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

In the last few days, I've made two long and rambling posts about Cowgate, a short incident from 2003 that haunts my nightmares. I think people should know that when I make posts like that - the ones that go way too long about something entirely niche - I am operating under the assumption that absolutely no one is reading this bullshit. Even the small handful of people who read this blog regularly, I assume you skip over those ones.

That's not just a hypothetical assumption, I make writing choices accordingly. I assume the only purpose of this post is to give me somewhere to put the hauntings besides my nightmares, and therefore, it doesn't matter if it's readable. I know that my whole blog is full of errors, but on posts like that, I get especially lax with things like editing. I go really deep on things where on a different post, I might think - okay, that's far enough. Because no one is reading this.

I have now been proven wrong several times about those couple of posts, which both mildly embarrasses and delights me. First of all, I got this great comment from @beastlyanachronism, which is now how I love to picture myself:

Then, the wonderful @lastweeksshirttonight proved that they'd read not only the posts but the comment, by immediately messaging me a corresponding picture. I replied that I love the image, I will definitely start my post with that image the next time a new Cowgate-based detail is found and I need to write about it. I didn't expect that to be soon, though. Breakthroughs are few and far between.

But then, I got another message, proving that at least three different people have read my post (actually four, if you count the very kind British man who read my post and then sent me a message to explain the nuances in the expression "bottle it"). And that last message is the reason for this post. Because, I can't believe I've been given cause to use this image so soon:

Further content behind the cut, because not everyone needs this content all over their feed.

This relates to the message I got last night, from the extremely helpful @linkeightvideo, who not only read my posts, but joined the cause and did his own research. And came up with this link:

The Metro cow is a thing!!! I knew the wording of that YouTube comment was weird (calling it "the Metro cow", rather than something like "a cow that said Metro on it"), suggesting that this was a specific and recognizable instillation. And I was right! But I cannot take credit for figuring that out, all credit goes to @linkeightvideo, who is the best.

The above link is to an archived version of an article from August 5, 2003, about three weeks before Cowgate occurred (which was August 26, 2003 - fun fact that has absolutely nothing to do with anything because to the best of my knowledge he wasn't there or anything, but that was also Nish Kumar's eighteenth birthday). The article is from the Edinburgh Fringe website. It's short enough so I'm just going to paste its text in full:

The Fringe was hit by a bunch of cotton-pickin', rootin-tootin' cattle ruslers in the early hours of Saturday night. The almost life-sized, bright blue and red Metro bull was stolen from outside the Metro Fringe Box Office. Metro newspapers are appealing for its safe return before the police are called and urge anyone with information to come forward. Metro Fringe Box Office Manager, Gillian O'Connor said: "We're distraught to have lost such a valuable member of the Box Office team! Please bring him back." The bull had just completed a secondment outside London's Victoria station, where he stood unmoved for a month. Yet after only a few days on duty with the Fringe he has gone missing leaving today's Festival Cavalcade a bull short of a procession.

That's it!!! That's the one! It was blue and red! I know it was blue and red, because Adam hills shouted "it's got red horns, it's all the rage". And it was almost life sized! And it said Metro on the side! Further research - also done by @linkeightvideo, he deserves all the credit in the world for this - finds that Metro sponsored the Edinburgh Fringe Festival that year, and also directly sponsored the Gilded Balloon venue.

So, the company called Metro had a large cow that was used in advertisements, and for one month in the summer of 2003, it was in London, outside Victoria Station. Then it was brought to Edinburgh, because they were sponsoring the festival and running a box office. They put it outside that box office, and it got stolen within "a few days" (which makes sense, as August 5th is a few days into the festival). It was meant to be part of the Festival Cavalcade, but couldn't be due to thieves.

Then, three weeks later, it spends all night on stage during a late-night comedy show in an Edinburgh venue that Metro sponsors, where it gets taken apart. How do we get from one state of affairs to the other? I don't know, but I'm a hell of a lot closer to understanding than I was yesterday. If the cow was somehow recovered, it would make sense from them to move it indoors, where it can be guarded better (again, credit for this idea goes to @linkeightvideo, and I think it makes sense). I mean, it can be guarded from drunk thieves in the middle of the night. Apparently the stage of the Gilded Balloon is not a good place to guard it from (shockingly) sober comedians in the middle of the night.

This made me try searching again for the specific words "Metro cow", and I found this article from December 12, 2003. It's a list of people who are involved with whatever organization this is, I'm not really clear on that. But it includes this one guy named Stephen Auckland. He's from the North of England, and as of when this was written, he was listened as the managing director of Metro. The bottom of his profile says:

An able sidekick to Associated Newspaper's Mike Anderson, even when it came to keeping up appearances following the disappearance of Mootro, Metro's cow mascot, from the Edinburgh festival. Auckland offered to dress up as a pantomime version. Luckily, they found the cow.

Guys! Guys! It has a fucking name! The Cowgate cow has a name! It's named Mootro! Now that I think about it, I actually can't believe I've never named the thing, given that I named the event (Cowgate), and giving the cow a name is the sort of thing I'd do. But I don't have to, because apparently it's named Mootro.

And the story has an update. It was stolen by August 5, and then it was found at some unknown point, and by August 26 it was in the Gilded Balloon. And then it got taken apart on stage.

I think this brings up one obvious question, which is: if this thing was important enough for its theft to be reported on the Edinburgh Fringe website, how come they were allowed to destroy it? The obvious answer would be that it was specifically made for just that one Edinburgh Festival, and was meant to be destroyed at the end of it anyway. But why did it spend a month in London right before that, then? And why would they do that anyway? Surely it's not efficient to make something like that for only a month, you'd think they'd plan to have it last a while and move it around based on where they're sponsoring things.

I can't believe this. This is the biggest revelation since I figured out who the fuck Karen Koren was, the woman referenced in Adam Hills' song, after after ages of Googling comedians named "Erin Coren" (finally worked out that she was the venue owner, which seems obvious now but it hadn't occurred to me at the time, when I was expecting it to be a reference to another performer). Actually, this is a much bigger revelation than that one, which just explained a couple of Adam Hills' lyrics. This is the biggest revelation in all the Cowgate research yet. The two main questions at the heart of the Cowgate mystery are: "Why did you do it?" and "Where did you get the cow?" And now one of those questions has been answered! It has a fucking name!

That second article referred to it specifically as the Metro "mascot". I guess a company is going to make more than one version of a mascot. But still, I don't think you're allowed to just destroy a sponsor's mascot. Maybe that mascot was at the end of its life anyway? Maybe Daniel Kitson just doesn't give a fuck? Maybe Daniel Kitson stole the cow in the first place. There's a whole new question. Who stole the cow? How did they get it back? How did it get from there to its whereabouts on August 26?

I know it wasn't on the Gilded Balloon stage every night of the 2003 Edinburgh Festival, because there's no sign of it in this montage, from Late 'n' Live on August 19, 2003 (also a fun video and great snippets of Chocolate Milk Gang history, if you can get past the second-hand embarrassment of Kitson trying his rap battle thing with an actual musician, and the presence of an actual musician makes the whole thing seem less ironic and therefore harder to watch - but you do get to see David O'Doherty beat up Jason Byrne and that's hilarious, also it's very funny to watch Daniel Kitson do something as out of character as brag about "nearly" winning a Barry Award and having a girlfriend from Australia, especially given how the latter turned out):

So it wasn't there on that night. Also, it just couldn't have been there every night. The Gilded Balloon is a proper venue that has proper shows during most of its time, it couldn't just have a large cow on stage for all of those. Also, in the beginning of that montage video from August 26, you see Kitson talking to the audience about the cow, and it sounds like he considers its presence as much of a novelty as they do. I mean, he's making fun of them for thinking it's a novelty, but he doesn't seem familiar with it, it seems like something he has to address:

This is the main reason for my theory that they didn't plan it beforehand, the montage shows the audience giving Kitson challenges for easy things to do with the cow, he asks them for more difficult challenges and then the video cuts, but I think the audience then asked him to tear it apart. It's a theory that makes sense based on some circumstantial evidence, but it does open up other questions. The main one being whether you can get permission to destroy a company's mascot between the beginning and the end of a comedy show, especially a comedy show that takes place entirely in the middle of the night. It doesn't seem likely. It also opens up some smaller questions, like what they were planning as the end of the show - the finale of the last night of Late 'n' Live, so you'd think they'd have something - that got bumped for this.

This reminds me that I had some further thoughts on the other mystery, of what actually went down on the night of August 26. I was thinking of the somewhat blue sky theory of there being two previous. Evidence for this: Adam Hills referred to "three chances", they were able to pick up chisels off the ground that seemed to just be lying around (possibly having been discarded after previous attempts), and Kitson in that video does have their air of someone who's already watched this go wrong and is really determined to make sure they get it fucking right this time. Evidence against: I'm not sure that works from a show planning perspective. What if it had worked on the first try, then what would the finale have been? If they'd watched it fail twice, would they really have made it the finale, knowing it may well fail a third time and that would be a shit ending? Though this could possibly be explained by the presence of the pipe that someone runs on stage, significantly increasing their chances compared to any attempt where that pipe was not in play.

I thought of something else today: the cow was already down when they started that video. Earlier in the night, we see comedians sitting on the cow, it's standing up. But at the end, when those guys run out to try to take it apart, they don't have to knock it down first. It's already lying on its side. They could have knock it down just before starting the song, but why would they do that? Surely knocking it down would be a fun dramatic moment, so if this were the first time they'd messed with the cow, they'd leave the knocking down to be part of the process. Unless this weren't the first time, and they had dramatically knocked it down before starting to try taking it apart, but this one done at some earlier point that the video didn't catch.

Anyway. That's the revelation. Along with some further thoughts on theories, but the main thing is the revelation. Massive breakthrough, and I need to thank @linkeightvideo one more time for research that he was under absolutely no obligation to do, but he came through anyway. What a legend. Am I using the British expressions right? What a solid gold legend.

#Youtube