#human pretzel

[inkcross]

At this point, who needs handcuffs?

#bucki #contortionist #yogapose #human pretzel #sketchaday #drawingaday #pencildrawing #posedrawing #animeartist #lifedrawing

[flexymedia]

My Name is Earl – S04E15 and S04E16

Jaime Pressley

#my name is earl #frontbend #human pretzel #legs behind head

[lulus-shattered-life]

I've been told this is a really odd way to sit. Being a pretzel makes me feel a little more secure or something? Idk how to explain it. So what do you think?

People have suggested some form of hypermobility and I also have a lot of POTS symptoms. I've heard they can be related but none of my drs want to look into it. We used to be very flexible but was the body has gotten older, between arthritis, tendonitis and fibromyalgia, we can't do nearly as much. 😕

#hypermobility #human pretzel #sitting #hypermobile ehlers danlos #ehlers danlos syndrome

[jpitha]

You can have a little lye as a treat

“I want to make Maya her favorite food, can you help?” Limmie looks over the table in the canteen at Peggy, the only other human she knows here.

“Uh, maybe Lim, what’s her favorite food? Also, you know that most human foods…”’

“Are toxic to me, yes I know. This one doesn’t seem to bad though? It’s mostly wheat. I can eat wheat, though I shouldn’t eat too much. It’s just wheat and water, some sugar, yeast and salt.”

Peggy thinks a moment. “Some kind of bread?”

Limmie’s nod is so vigorous her ears flutter. “Yeah, something called a pretzel”

“So… that’s not all that’s involved in pretzels.” Peggy stands. “But, I think we can work something out. Come on, let’s sign out a kitchenette.”

A few days later, Limmie comes to the kitchenette that Peggy signed out. They get it for a whole day, which surprised Limmie. “It’s just bread right? Why do we need it for a whole day?”

“Well, we have to give time for the yeast to work.” Peggy is wearing an apron that says “Let’s Get Baked!” And has a cartoon of a bread loaf with bloodshot eyes. She’s getting bowls out and arranging things on the steel table in front of her. “Her favorite is German pretzels?”

“That’s right. She said that she misses them because only her Grandmother makes them right. She sounded so wistful.” Limmie washes her hands, and as she dries them, Peggy hands her a smaller apron. On the front is written “Made from Scratch!” And has a cartoon K’laxi showing their claws. Limmie looks at Peggy who is trying very hard not to laugh. She puts the apron on and flicks her ears in a grin.

Peggy spend the time showing Limmie what to do to make the dough, but she doesn’t do it. It’s for Limmie’s girlfriend, so she does the work. She mixes the flour and the water and the yeast and while is proofs, Peggy explains how the yeast works and what it’s doing. Limmie leans in close and smells the yeasty smell and is amazed that human foods can get this… complicated.

Soon enough the bread has risen and been punched down and shaped and… Peggy is putting on a large rubber apron, heavy gloves and a face shield. Limmie stands back “Uh, Peggy, what are you doing?”

“Oh, the pretzels aren’t done yet, they need a Lye bath.”

“What’s that?”

Peggy’s voice is slightly muffled from the shield. “Oh, Lye is a human word for Sodium Hydroxide, a very strong alkaline chemical. It is quite caustic to organic tissue.”

Limmie takes an unconscious step back. “But, what are you doing then? You’re going to ruin our bread!”

“No no, this is an important step. The pretzels won’t look or smell or taste right unless we dip them in lye.”

“You’re going to DIP the pretzels into a strong alkaline solution?”

Peggy turns, holding another rubber apron, gloves, and face shield. “No. You’re going to.”

“This isnt’ a joke? You’re not trying to make fun of me for not understanding human cookery? You really have to dip the pretzels in that caustic chemical?”

Peggy lifts up her face shield. Her eyes are kind. “Limmie, I would never do that to you. I promise, this will make the pretzels just like how Maya remembers them.”

Tail flicking, Limmie takes the PPE from Peggy. “How do I put this on?”

“I’ll show you, come here.”

****

“Oh gosh Limmie, these are perfect! Where did you get them?” Maya’s eyes are squeezed shut in bliss as she chews the warm pretzels. “They taste just like the ones Nana made!”

“Peggy helped me make them. She showed me exactly what to do, but I did the work.”

Maya swallows and looks at Limmie, eyes wide. “You made these? You made German Pretzels with the lye bath and everything?”

Limmie falls into Maya’s arms and snuggles down into her chest. “Of course I did. I had to wear some personal protective equipment, but Peggy showed me how to be careful and she explained we needed the lye to get it just right. I wanted to make something just for you that I knew you’d love.”

Maya squeezes Limmie and strokes her ears. “They’re wonderful hon. Thank you.”

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #writing #jpitha #sci fi writing #humans and aliens #humans are space australians #humans are space capybaras #Cooking #humans eat anything #Pretzels really do need lye to get them just right

[s0up1ta]

OKAY FJRST. THE LITTLE DETAILS FROM THEIR CANON DESIGNS/YOUR PERSONAL DESIGNS BECAUSE THEY ARE CANON TO ME TO THE AU

not to be the chip guy but of course he comes first. chibos little beanie instead of the captains hat is SUCH a great touch !! the fact he still has his necklace and his long coat in a different more cover-up-slut approach makes me insaneeeee god he's so. Just like me frfr. you just drew me but if i had long hair and more bastard swagger that's so coolio bro what the freaksauce... ALSO keeping his belt and piercings make me to happy forever and ever but swagever ! Im normal ^_^ WAITTT also the "coverupslut" tits thing is really funny to me obviously he couldn't be walking around like that in the Real World because it's lame and doesn't support his transgender swagger but I really love how you kept his midriff and the teensiest tiniest little bit of a happy trail because he fucking WOULD wouldn't he. he WOULD fucking look like that. and !! speaking of speaking of that his black crop top thing works really well with both his style and his style of dancing which I think is so awesome sauce broski AND THE BLACK NAILS. THATS IMPORTANT can i get you to make something canon for me from one guy to another you're such a good friend and this isn't me buttering you up at all but on a totally separate note did you know you're hot and cool and all your art is amazing and you're talented and smart. could you make it so jay was the one to paint his nails and he complained forever and ever about it he wad so annoyed but he only complained more when the paint started chipping and he forced her to fix it. staring at you with autism eyes Btw

gillion design is so real forever and ever and I'm totally okay about it bro trust. absolutely LOVE the fact he kept his necklace too but instead it's framed as a gift from pretzel and made as a Kandi necklace :〕 it's so sick ANDDD THE WAY HE DRESSES !!! his baggy black tank-top and belt with the pants bro you Get It he fucking. Would look like that humanized wouldn't he. the bracelets and the also black nails (that. And Again, looking at you with begging and pleading autism eyes. jay probably had to act like she was just SO down to do and felt like it for funsies so she could teach pretzel when in reality chibo just begged her because he's a little bitch and really wanted to bond with gillion because he's an idiot and couldn't think of a better way. Also his paint was chipping and he was mildly annoyed) AND !! THE HAIRRRRR holy shit my friend tumblr user and mutual soup s0up1ta im losing my actual goddamn ever-loving mind over the way you drew his dyed hair it's so fucking pretty dude THE COLORRRRSSSSSS THE COLORS IM BEING POSSESED AND TAKEN AWAY. THE VIBRANCY SNATCHED MY SOUL AND GOT ME VAPORIZED LIKE IT WAS DAYBRINGER SOLOMON SAVE THE WORLD AND SUCK EACH OTHER VAMP4VAMP STYLE MY FINAL MESSAGE

Oh my god. And pretzel. soup im losing my fucking MINDDDDD over pretzel i know when you showed me the (theses aren't posted yet. i get to be in the Cool Exclusive Friend Club for. Asecond >:DDD) drawings of her with the biker helmet i lost my shit then but I need to lose it again. i lose that very frequently. The little patches in her jeans and clips in her messy hair and home-made bracelets covering every part of her body that they can and her big fluffy skirts that mimic her frogtopus arms that spread out and her overalls QND THAT ONE DRAWING. WHERE AHE IS PAINTING GILLIONS EYELINER ON IM. SOUP IM SHAKING YOU IM LOSING OT and also. Of course she would like bluey <3

Now onto the actual writing for just a second because I need to ramble on how well you fucking Captured the way it was written so perfectly because like. Holy fuck dude

Tigers being paired with you Definitely is the best possible outcome because you have created something for me to be Insane about. I could picture everything so vividly and i heard that one line where it was him going "I want you. I want you baby" and i just completely saw your drawing of them arms linked and extended and I lost my MINDD soup. spinning in circles and shimmying like a deep sea isopod ruffling up dirt on the seafloor look at me in my dead ass eye holes because i cannot express enough how much I love that. everything in this fic was pictured entirely in your style and I'm so fucking normal about that I promise. i LOVE seeing the little details you move from both cannon jrwi and your designs into the way they're drawing because, and I cannot stress this enough that this is a good thing, they all look like Them. normally with au's it's them slightly off or that's Them just in a different outfit but NOOO dude you got it so perfect. yeah that IS what they would look like that IS how they would dress and act and look and fucking DANCE bro 🗣🗣‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

and finally just wanted to say the writing is sosososo good forever and ever but that's exactly what I would expect from Tigers101 the fnc guy and chip kisser themself alright not surprised in the least. and with the art being as amazing at going with it not nearly surprised it's sof uckign awesome seeing you grow and get more talented as an artist because DUDE !!!!!! HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE GROWNNNN its so awesome man

anyway leave you with this image

because i saw the part where chibo blushed and I pictured him in your style and i nearly whisper-screamed faggot out loud before catching myself because I'm tired <3 thank you for being you and so rad and sweet forever and ever and making the sick ass cool ass shit that you do im sohyped and so happy everytime I get. A message or a tag from you because I KNOWWWWW it means I get something to feast apon and i love it so much. already said it once but it's so nice i say it twice suck each other vamp4vamp style and save da world. my final message

I AM FRAMING THIS AND HANGING IT ON MY WALL FOREVER THANK YOU SO MUCH DUDE AUDHJSJSJDKFBJS 😭😭💕💕💕

#designing them all was SO fun bro im really happy i was able to translate them well into a modern au :) #genuinely had a blast with the outfits and accessories and ESPECIALLY designing a human gill and pretzel #like keeping some of gill's features i got going on in my design like his nose and hair and the tattoos being the skin markings #AND PRETZEL AUFHHS #i wanted her hair to be like the tentacles and to translate that unhinged 8 year old energy (i would know- i have a sister who's nine) #like the first thing i thought of was ponyo and i ran with that #and the jewlery jehdjejrhjrhf the beaded bracelets and necklaces pretzel and gill wear #and chip's little axe earring being a little more subtle but There #also incredibly small detail but he's got a mole where his scar is in his canon design so thats neat #but YEAH working on this has been such a blast and you can SEE how much ive grown just in the span of the months this has been going on for #like the one with gill putting his hair up is one of the first ones i drew and the one with them dancing is the most recent one #im so happy with how this has turned out and very excited for you guys to see the upcoming chapters because WE'RE NOT DONE YET BOYS >:))) #genuinely such a cool thing ive been able to work on dude im really happy people like it :) #s0up1talks

[unspecifiedfigure]

bat eddie and his pretzel obsession

#steve is like that one guy who won’t stop feeding his pet human food because ‘look at his face he’s so hungry🥺’ #and everyone else is like ‘steve he just ate please stop giving him pretzels’ #anyways bat eddie my beloved #this one i referenced a flying fox #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things

[thickness-protection-program]

Just a friendly reminder that holding this leg pose hurts lol

#selfie #my face #my splits #holding this is a KILLER on the inner thighs omfg #but i must endure if i wanna become a human pretzel

[nero-neptune]

ive only seen 3 episodes ft. this guy, but that emo hunter boy from the owl house and kovu from lion king 2 are the exact same guy

#pretzels is the same. theyre the same picture. #anyway this explains all the fanart ive seen of this guy on my dash these past year or so #this is just kovu in human form. just as emo. just as scarred. #the owl house #lion king 2 #rambles

[randomnameless]

Something pretty interesting I missed in my earlier Supreme Bullshit reading.

When Supreme Leader is upset at Lonato, she wonders if going to help him would be feasible, which leads to this convo with Hubert :

You want to save the man, Your Majesty? If I may, we would march all that way for...what, exactly?

Hubert, imo, thinks Lonato as basically already done and dead, Supreme Leader earlier was pissed at Lonato not following their plans, he acted on personal enemity and will most likely have to fight both the KoS and the Kingdom so...

Imagine the consequences of leaving him to die.

Here we have an example of the Supreme Leader who made this route, so interesting : it's not Hubert who has all the dastardry in their duo, Supreme Leader too, participates.

When KT forgets that they gave her a sailor fuku to be "more free", they write her to be in a similar vein as the other red Emperors like Arvis, or, Gustadolph from TS.

It's not "we must save him" or "we can't let him die", but Supreme Leader directly evacuates all that pathos, and thinks, rationally, about the consequences of leaving Lonato reap what he sowed.

We need our vassals to believe the Empire will always come to their aid. Always.

It's PR!

Going to save Lonato is not about Lonato himself, she can't give a fig about the dude, but it's all about public relationships and keeping a façade for her war of conquest : her vassals need to believe the Empire will always come to their aid.

Whether they actually do, or not, is irrelevant - they need to believe Adrestia is "trustworthy enough" to come to their help when called.

And the sheer "we need them to believe" coming from Supreme Leader herself? It's really neat, she's lying/manipulating the events to build a perfect image for her vassals, or the ones who will become her vassals (by choice).

Compare this to the Kingdom/Church "we need to help the ones who need help!" and here, instead, we have "we need to make people believe we're going to help them".

Lonato doesn't act following the plan ? It doesn't matter, Supreme Leader will seize this new opportunity to advance her own goals : aka, making people believe the Empire is "trustworthy" and "reliable".

Good. Now make our plans known to the others. I'm counting on you, Hubert.

What plans? The "we must rescue Lonato because he is our ally" or the true "we must pretend to rescue Lonato to make other nobles join our cause and believe in us"?

And what is intereting is how this exchange, of course, only happens when she is alone with Hubert.

In the following event, where Barney is here and they talk about their powers :

Ah, you should see the look on your face! Did Hubert threaten you? Don't let it get to you. Yes, he's quite good at that kind of thing, but it comes from a place of caution.

Hm... Sure. It's Hubert's way of caring I guess.

But then comes the manifesto :

I want to transform the world into a place where no one has to feel trapped by where they came from.

What's that about the place they come from? Aren't we later in this route trashtalking Annette and the Kingdom peeps because they believe in outdated values like chivalry and sacrifices to protect their loved ones?

When I am done, it won't matter where you are born, whose blood you have, or what powers course through you—everyone will be treated as equals.

When she means equals, she means people will "believe" everyone will be treated as equals, just like Lonato was supposed to "believe" Adrestia was coming to back him up and not just, play minimal part to guarantee their PR but not much more?

That's what we're fighting for, and that is what this war is going to achieve.

But Hubert said this war is a war of conquest ?

So believe me when I say this—I don't care who you are.

And yet Barney is still a nobody commoner, even if pal with the Emperor, when Linhardt is a general?

I only care about what you have done and what you have yet to do.

And what Barney can do with that power you said you don't give a crap about right? But what if Barney's abilities are basically the result of their weird powers, can we still say their power/abilities are irrelevant ?

And, hm, maybe someone can translate this for me ?

人の力に拠る未来を創るため、 すべての犠牲を私は負って立つ！

She says this when she defeats 1k peons, and Googl'd it gives... "To create a future based on the power of people, I will bear all the sacrifices!" - so what this line about not giving figs about "what powers course through you everyone will be treated as an equal"? Could Amelie the lady from Mittelfrank who couldn't end up as a diva be treated like Leopold, or what?

--

Supreme Leader's words being treated as gospel is always imo hilarious, because Supreme Leader has some instances where, when KT's not busy dressing her up with some "Scarlet Blaze Power! Make Up!", she plays the role Arvis already played before her, the dastardly red emperor who manipulates and seizes every opportunity to reach her goals.

In Tru Piss we got the Javelins - but in Nopes? We get those "heart to heart" moments with Hubert that lampshade even more how much of an unreliable narrator Supreme Leader is - she still maintains care to have a level of PR and only confides to trusted people (yay Hubert!) or, in FE16, when, curiously, she has her mask on (Flamey doesn't need PR).

That's why we still have so many pretzels over Rhea's fate in Tru Piss, yes, Supreme Leader claims she wants to spare her when she adresses her in Firdhiad, in front of her allies and the people she has to lie to about her War.

But when she was with Billy? Nah, she can safely tell them that path lead to the death of Rhea and her people, something she rejoices about in their S support.

Too bad Nopes doubled down on "Sailor Adrestia" instead of giving us more of that "Arvis with a skirt" they teased us with (seriously that power move of betraying Rhea in the third chapter was just, that awesome from her part).

#3 nopes #it's upsetting because Fodlan is a treasure trove of missed opportunities #Supreme Leader is one of them #just imagine a game where the world isn't full of pretzels or doesn't end after a S convo if a FB #and Supreme Leader has to use her skills to deceive and manipulate people #instead of them being gullible idiot who suddenly develop amnesia about Flamey in FE16 #or are drunk on 'imperialism yay' kool aid #wait wait wait #I had the wildest AU nonsensical shit right now about Sailor Adrestia #dimitri being Sailor Faerghus #and Lorenz is Sailor Leicester #and twist! the real moon people are lizards and agarthans #some humans inherited their powers through nefarious means #or less than nefarious ones #and rhea was the original sailor adrestia #fuck i'm doomed

[mashbits]

best friends

#jrwi fanart #just roll with it riptide #just roll with it fanart #jrwi gillion #jrwi pretzel #just roll with it #gillion tidestrider #gillion tidestrider fanart #i am a gillion fan first human second #i love them so dearly #pretzel just roll with it #jrwi riptide #jrwi show #jrwi podcast

[g0rechan]

My otp guys 😍

#off topic but just started watching Hazbin hotel #shoujo tsubaki #midori: shoujo tsubaki #mr. arashi's amazing freak show #midori: the camellia girl #hoichi the human pretzel #the human worm #my arttttttt

[a-pirate]

#cyberpunk 2077 #female v #cyberpunk oc #valerie vega #kit salcedo #female v friday #fem v friday #when i tell y'all kit had a moment #he was supposed to be in both these #but he looked at me and said #you think teddy's your pretzel? #bitch you ain't seen nothing yet #he then twisted in ways no human should twist #q

[pretz3l-log1c]

I feel it's very important for Tumblr to know that the entire basis of Digimon is 'Eldritch Beings think Huamnity is Neat* and would like to interact.'

*Neat in a sense that some want to pet, some want to be petted, and others would like to murder.

#pretzel rambles #digimon #look Digimon lore gets insane if you think on it too hard #most of it is bullshit to excuse the very loose canon of the franchise #but the IMPLICATIONS #like the digital world is -ironically- artificial #it's completely fake #eldritch beings invented it in order to create a safe playground to interact with humans #called it the Digital World and named themselves digimon

[yulogica]

Holiday Designs for the dessert-based magical girl/boy Sweetical cs by ScarletDestiney

Pretzel Reindeer Cookie belongs to PawzIchigo

Holly Jello Shot belongs to AkunoAkrisuma

Christmas Jello Ring belongs to AkunoKarisuma

Christmas Tree Lollipop belongs to timshel.

#sweetical #sweeticals #closedspecies #character deisgn #character reference #refsheets #dessert #sweets #gijinka #humanization #magical girl #magical boy #mahou shoujo #mahou shonen #christmas #holiday #jello #pretzel #candy

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Polyship Week, Day One: Road Trip (Modern AU)

Hi folks! Welcome to Valicer Polyship Week! Where every day this week you will get a short Valicer fic based on one of the prompts from the official Polyship Week list, courtesy of @polyshipweek! Today is Day One, and our prompt is “Road Trip” in the Modern AU universe (where Victor, Alice, and Smiler are all human and meet in college in the modern day, or close enough to). This prompt actually ended up being more inspiring than I first expected -- mostly because, after writing it and looking at some of my other prompts for the week, I realized that, completely by coincidence, I’d made all the odd-numbered days (One, Three, Five, and Seven) Modern AU -- and that all of them felt like they were part of the same story. So I decided they were! :D So yeah, this is now the first in a series of stories set during a road trip around England that Victor, Alice, and Smiler take a couple of years into their relationship. (The other prompts are split between the Soulmate AU and the Valicer In The Dark AU I expanded up on last week -- I’ll go into more detail on those when we get there!)

As for this particular story, my specific inspiration was the mention of “car snacks” in the post expanding on all of the possible prompts for Day One and Two, and remembering some road trips I took with my family down to Florida to visit Universal Studios as a kid. Specifically, how much I enjoyed getting Combos (the cheesy pretzel snack) while on those road trips. I figured Alice might like them, and so this fic was born. (And then had to be quickly updated to indicate that these are imports when I confirmed that Combos are made by an American company. :p Look, I had a specific vision in mind, so give me that this random petrol station has the snacks, okay?)

---

“Hey, Alice – catch!”

Alice turned, just in time to intercept the bag tossed her way. “These are – ‘Combos?’” she said, reading the name printed across the front.

“Yeah – they’re little pretzel tubes filled with cheese,” Smiler informed her, holding up another, identical bag. “American brand, so whoever works here must be a big fan to import ‘em. I know you like pretzels, so. . .”

“Ah – well, I’ll certainly give them a try,” Alice said, turning the bag over in her hands to read the back. “Marvelously unhealthy for you, I see. . .oh, and there’s other flavors to boot. Pizzeria, Buffalo Blue Cheese – Sweet and Salty Caramel Crème??”

“Really?” Smiler checked the back of their own bag. “Huh! Well, hey, chocolate-covered pretzels are pretty good, so don’t knock ‘em til you eat ‘em.”

“I haven’t tried those either, so I can’t give an informed opinion,” Alice replied. “Maybe Victor might be up for them, though.”

“Might be up for what?” Victor asked, appearing at the end of the aisle holding what Alice suspected was at least one of every candy bar this petrol station offered.

“Up for – uh, actually, I don’t know if you’d have room for caramel crème pretzels,” Smiler corrected themselves, noting his load. “So where’s the chocolate for the rest of us?”

“Ha ha – I intend to share,” Victor said, putting his nose in the air. “And this is meant to last us a few days, you know.”

“Oh, you believe that, do you?” Alice said teasingly. “I know what you and Smiler are like when it comes to sugar – that pile isn’t going to last the hour.”

“I dunno, I think we could stretch it out to two if we really controlled ourselves,” Smiler replied, smirking. They checked their watch. “Anyway, we gotta wrap up and get going if we wanna reach Alton before sunset.”

“Not before we get drinks,” Victor informed them, grinning. “They’ve got an off-brand Slushy machine on the counter, and they offer apple, banana, and strawberry flavors!”

“What – you must be kidding,” Alice said.

“No, I’m serious! I mean, obviously I don’t know if any of them actually taste like the fruit, but. . .”

“Only one way to find out!” Smiler declared, grabbing a bag of what Alice suspected were Sweet and Salty Caramel Crème Combos. “Lead the way, mutual boyfriend!”

---

#valicer polyship week #PolyshipWeek23 #valicer #fanfic #human smiler AU #road trip #the valicer road trip #victor van dort #alice liddell #smiler alton #the smiler #corpse bride #American McGee's Alice #yes of COURSE they had to be going to Alton XD #I don't know if they're going to Alton Towers SPECIFICALLY #it's hard to know how to handle the theme park when you've humanized all its roller coasters #but they're at least going to the nearby village #and yes Sweet and Salty Caramel Creme is a real Combos flavor #I was surprised too #we only ever got the cheesy pretzel kind when I was a kid #and I had to make a joke about Victor and his bottomless stomach and sweet tooth XD #and give them all their favorite flavors in frozen slush form #just them having fun picking up some treats before getting on the road again #hope you enjoy! #queued

[stephaniedola]

i told myself i was gonna go to the mall today but like why what am i even gonna do

#the answer is like #experience humanity #and maybe a pretzel #thots et al