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#hyun be's killing part
lotus-soup-pot · 1 year
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astarlightmonbebe · 6 months
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and they’re expecting me to feel normal about this…
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dyaz-stories · 5 months
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stars around my scars || Cha Hyun-Su x Reader
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word count: 1.2k
warnings & tags: so soft, fluff, angst because it's sweet home, hurt/comfort, kissing, touch-starved!hyun-su, a little suggestive but it's not too bad, hyun-su needs a hug and he gets that and more eheh
previous one-shot · next part
A/N: this can be read on its own or read as a part of the little hyun-su x reader series i've got going on at the moment! no particular context needed for this one, but i wrote it in like two hours so i hope you'll enjoy it.
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Hyun-Su sits at your table like he’s not sure he has the right to be there. He’s been less cautious around you lately, less distant, now that he knows that you accept him wholeheartedly for who he is, all that he is, even the dark, ugly parts that he tried to keep from you. But sometimes, when he is in the space that is so clearly yours, he still makes himself small, as if he thinks you’d kick him out if you remembered he was there.
It doesn’t matter that you invited him in and insisted he stayed. The fear that you could change your mind at any point, that the longer he’s around, the more he risks showing you a part of him you won’t like, that’s what sticks.
When you sit down across from him, he notices your eyes landing on his bruised knuckles, sees your brow furrows. Sheepishly, he removes his hand from the table.
“Doesn’t it hurt?” you ask.
You ask that a lot. Worry a lot. Selfishly, he likes that you do.
“It’s fine,” he replies, voice quiet. “It will heal.”
The wounds won’t get infected, they won’t kill him, and they’ll go away eventually. So, sure, it stings as long as they’re open, but he’s long stopped bothering with cleaning or treating them. Who cares about his pain anyway?
“That’s not the point,” you say, reaching out for his hand. He doesn’t resist when you take it in yours. How could he? Your fingers are soft, gentle, your skin is warm. It’s like he melts into your touch, like his muscles turn into lead.
It also makes him greedy, makes him want to know what it would do if you touched him more, in different ways. Inside him, the monster stirs, and Hyun-Su forces it back down.
You lift his hand and blow on the wounds that mar his knuckles. The gesture is childish, and despite himself, a smile breaks on his face.
“That’s not going to change much.”
He notices belatedly how fond his voice sounds. He’s usually so careful not to let it be so obvious, but you just surprised it out of him. If you notice, you don’t let it show. Instead, you roll your eyes at him — until you get another idea.
He looks at you in bemused interest as you lower your face towards his hand. And then he realizes what you’re doing, and his heart skips a beat.
You glance up at him, a silent request for his approval, before you go any further. He doesn’t know how to give it to you, doesn’t know if he should, if it’s safe.
He also doesn’t take his hand away.
Your lips press gently against his knuckles, and it sends a jolt through him that ignites his whole body. He can’t see himself, but he’s sure he’s blushing. When you meet his eyes again, he averts his immediately, swallows, clears his throat. But then he feels you open your fingers, letting his hand slip from your grasp, and he tightens his hold on you at the last second. He cannot bear the thought of losing your touch, not just yet.
“That—” His voice cracks. “That does help.”
“Oh,” you say, and then your thumb runs over his hand in a soft caress. He exhales, long and slow. He’d do anything for you not to let go of him.
When you stand up, his head shoots up, eyes following you like a puppy — only for you to get closer to him. You roll your lips together, still searching his expression for approval. You trace a wound on his shoulder, one he doesn’t even remember getting, if he’s being honest.
“Would it help here?” you ask.
Hyun-Su’s whole body is buzzing with the absolute, desperate need to be touched again.
All he can do is nod.
You lean in, kiss his shoulder, and he closes his eyes. He wants to drown in you. He wants you to run your hands over his body, he wants to touch you so bad, and he hates himself for remaining so still. But then you touch his cheek, trace his jaw, and he’s so infinitely thankful that you do what he can’t.
You’re the one who’s not meeting his eyes this time, as your index finger brushes against his bottom lip. There’s no wound there, they’re just chapped, and yet…
“How about here?”
He’s almost shaking in anticipation by now. He thinks he’d kill to be kissed by you — he knows the monster would. But again, he just nods.
So, standing in front of him, between his legs, you cup his cheek in the gentlest of ways, like he’s precious, and you kiss him again. It’s soft, gentle, just lips against lips.  You make a delicate sound when you part from him, and he regrets the loss of it immediately. It must be why he blurts out, before you can move any further “It still hurts.”
Your eyes go wide for a second, before a smile stretches your lips. He only gets a second to ask himself if he asked for too much, if you’re going to be disgusted with him for daring to ask, if—
You kiss him again, a little harder this time, nose pressing against his cheek. Your hands move to the back of his neck to support yourself better. Hyun-Su feels you part your lips, feels your tongue against his mouth, and that is when he loses it.
He’s happy that you have your eyes closed because, even though he feels fully in control of himself at the moment, he’s not sure which color you’d see in his just now.
He pulls you into his lap, hands on your hips at first before he moves one of them, just a little, to the small of your back. You’re all over him now, body against his, scent overwhelming, your taste on his tongue. The apartment would be quiet, if it wasn’t for the sound of your mouths together, and for the rush of his blood in his ears.
You gasp quietly into him, your teeth catch against his bottom lip and it makes him shiver. He dares then, caught in the euphoria of it all perhaps, to reach up to touch your face, long fingers stroking your cheek. His skin is on fire everywhere you touch it, but he wouldn’t give it up for the world, and he finds itself praying it never ends.
Yet it does, fairly abruptly, when he realizes, suddenly, that he’s falling. On instinct, he wraps his arms around you to protect you, and then the two of you hit the floor. The chair had to have tipped backwards at some point, without the two of you noticing.
There’s a moment of stunned silence afterwards, before you let out a quiet laugh, hiding your face in his shoulder.
Much to his surprise, he hears himself laugh as well. It just feels easy to do, when you’re in his arms. His heart is still pounding, his lips are tingling, and his breathing is shallow, but he’s feeling emotions he hasn’t felt in years.
He’s happy.
Deep inside of him, the monster takes a step back, satiated.
For now, anyway.
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i've really loved writing this and i'm quite happy with the end result, especially for something i wrote so quickly, so i hope you liked it too! please let me know your thoughts either on here, in tags, in an ask or reblog the fic, it means the world to me and it lets me know you want to see more, so it keeps me motivated!
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alisblackgf · 6 months
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okok hear me out.... yk the scene in s1 where the old guy (mr han i think) hugs hyun su and hyun su basically kills him with his monster wing thing what if reader took mr hans place and hyun su killed reader, but then reader comes back as a neohuman and they reunite in s2 (i hope this made sense pls im bad at explaining)
someone cooked here. LMAO anon you're a genius
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rememberance
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: cha hyun-su x gn!reader
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: hurt/comfort(?)
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you died by his hands, and he never forgave himself for it. that was until he saw you standing alive and well in front of him.
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i didn't know if i wanted to make it an established relationship or not, so that's up to you! also when i finished this i thought it was way longer than it actually was. hopefully you still enjoy it!
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mentions of death, blood, basically anything you'd see in sweet home
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"it's not your fault."
your voice echoed in his mind continuously. part of him wishes he could forget, the other part of him wishes it'd stay forever.
he remembered the way your arms wrapped around him, even when your skin was pierced by his wing.
"it's not your fault," you whispered, your grasp slightly loosening due to your injuries. you could feel yourself slipping away.
you used your final breaths to reassure him, relief taking over your features when his wing turned back into his arm, and the pure blackness of his eyes returned to the eyes you'd stare into with adoration.
once he fully processed the situation, he held you tightly and cried into you. you held him back for as long as you could, and once he felt your arms let him go, he cried harder.
he remembered how your lifeless body felt. the weight of you was still there, but everything else that made you you was gone.
it had been a year since it happened. he thought it'd get better with time, but it hadn't. he catches himself thinking about you more often than he should, but he can't—he won't—let himself forget you.
he didn't think that his determination to keep your memory alive would lead to hallucinations of you. was he hallucinating?
eun-yu stood next to him, and upon seeing you, she ran up to you and hugged you. you hugged her back and gave her a soft smile. she pulled away, and your gaze landed on him.
he definitely wasn't hallucinating.
he looked different than when you last saw him. his hair grew out a bit more, and you observed his shirt.
it looked cut up, and you could only assume it was from his wing. the same one that "killed" you. you winced at the memory, convinced you could almost feel the tears in your skin again.
you had changed, too, though. your hair was different, more suitable to the outbreak of monsters, and your choice of clothing was, too. it's not something he expected you to wear, but it looked good on you.
he walked towards you and you stood before him, unmoving, just as shocked as he was.
"hyun-su?" you reached out to touch his face, and once he felt your touch, he gave a shaky sigh and tears began to fall.
you wiped his tears and gently shushed him, pulling him into an embrace. he buried his face into your neck, mumbling apologies.
"i'm sorry," he cried into you, just like he did when your pierced skin leaked blood onto him.
"i know. it wasn't your fault." you held him tight, expressing that your grasp wouldn't falter this time, and you let him stay in your arms as long as he needed to, because this time, you weren't going anywhere.
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kooktrash · 2 years
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tunnel vision | kim taehyung
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summary | you’ve just gotten yourself a job working with the campus crush, kim taehyung. he’s quiet and brooding but everyone is obsessed with him including your best friend. what do you when she asks for your help in dating him when he’s catching feelings for you instead? he’s supposed to notice her but he’s got tunnel vision when it comes to you.
warnings | 13k words. college au. barista au. fem!reader, tsundere taehyung if u squint. looks like could kill u but is actually a cinnamon roll taehyung. unrequited love. reader has insecurities. Taehyung is forward and expressive. mentions of toxic friend dynamics. f2l kinda. smut. fluff. protective sex. 69, oral [f and m]. riding. missionary. rough but loving schmut. tae’s got good intentions. soft dirty talk, a lot of foreplay, nipple play, cunnilingus, messy but passionate. reader gives toe curling head. Tae got a big one but that’s just a fact.
song inspo: bff by jesse… ‘she’s your best friend but I can’t help my intentions on you, baby.’ — minus cheating undertones in the song lol
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There is something bittersweet about wanting something you probably shouldn’t. Something about the fact it was forbidden or at least felt that way. Maybe you were exaggerating, maybe you weren’t, but finding the guy in front of you attractive doesn’t feel alright.
Not that he isn’t absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous to the point that it should be illegal… no, never that. It’s just, well, now you understand why pretty much everyone around campus is whipped for this guy. It was a small campus but wow did he manage to have everyone wrapped around his finger. The best, or worst, part is that he doesn’t even know it. He could also be acting like he doesn’t realize his affects on people but that only makes him that much more attractive. You’ve never been into the mysterious type—you were too impatient to let them open up. This guy is an entire breed of mystery and coolness yet he had a warm look in his eyes. He didn’t even have any social media and that just made him more aloof and attractive.
Now you understand why one of your friend’s freaked out on you after finding out you’d be working with him. In her own words: “Oh you lucky bitch! You’re gonna work at the same store as Kim Taehyung?”
You were in fact lucky to be in the presence of someone so attractive but that’s the part that felt forbidden. He was almost too attractive. If he’s even the slightest nice to you you’ll crush on him like it’s nobody’s business and that’s a big no no. Why is it a humongous no no? Because your best friend, So Hyun, has the world’s biggest crush on him. Borderline obsessive but honestly that was anyone who has ever seen him in person. You couldn’t possibly tell her he really was attractive because she’d have your head on a stick.
You learned your lesson after stanning the same member in some kpop group, she does not share. If she finds Taehyung even remotely attractive she’s got a crush and boy oh boy is she territorial. At twenty two years old she’s gotta be pretty damn grown to still act that way but hey, she’s your friend. It didn’t bother you that much, you just learned to keep things to yourself. So the fact that you could agree and say Taehyung is as attractive as everyone says, you’re gonna keep it to yourself.
“Tae Tae, don’t be so mean all the time, it really hurts my feelings,” one of your coworkers said suddenly. You were snapped out of your subconscious focusing again on what you’d been doing. You just started a part time job at a cafe bookshop near the University you attended. Most of the employees were college students but that didn’t mean you all attended the same place. You knew Taehyung was a year or two ahead of you and that the girl talking to him went to an entirely different college. It was a fairly decent sized shop that pulled a good flow of people in so it was a fun job. Three of you worked the late shifts but only two would stay to actually close the shop. Today, unfortunately lucky you got to close with Taehyung who seemed to ignore the other girl.
“Don’t you agree Y/n? Isn’t he kinda mean?” The girl, Sia, asked you making you freeze up.
You couldn’t help the clueless expression on your face as you said, “What?” Oh God why was she trying to drag you into this. You’ve barely been working here two weeks and it’s part time so it’s not every evening. This is barely your third shift with Taehyung and you’ve had extremely short conversations.
“Weren’t you supposed to be off five minutes ago?” He asked her suddenly as he read the time on the computer screen. She looked down at it cursing as she hurried to clock out completely forgetting her flirting with Taehyung. Neither one of you said anything as she blabbered on quick goodbyes running out the door leaving you two alone in the empty shop. It was a Thursday so it was pretty slow.
When it was finally you two alone not a word was said on your end. It took him about five minutes of only hearing the music for him to speak up, “You always get quiet when Sia’s here.”
You didn’t respond right away only looking up at him cluelessly again, “What do you mean?”
“Well the last couple of times we’ve worked together we talked but tonight with Sia you weren’t really talking,” he shrugged in response thinking back to the last two times you’ve worked together. Despite still being fairly new you picked up on the store rules quickly and you didn’t pester him nonstop like some of the other female baristas. Not that he needs you to pester him but he just noticed it.
“I can’t keep up with everything she says,” you admitted going back to your filling the machine with fresh espresso beans, “And to be honest I just sort of mind my business and try and get through work so I could go home.”
That last statement made him chuckle in surprise nodding his head in agreement, “Oh. You know that tall girl you’re friends with? The one who came in on your first day?”
“So Hyun?” You asked with peaked curiosity. He nodded crossing his arms in front of his chest as he leaned against the back counter, “She came in the other day looking for you but you weren’t working.”
Yeah you know. She called you after telling you how gorgeous Taehyung looked making a French press with the sleeves of his button up rolled to his elbows. Still, you acted like you didn’t know, “Really? I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah she was in here for a while but she didn’t buy anything,” Taehyung went on taking the large bag of beans from you so he could put it away, “I didn’t know you were in Journalism but she said you were.”
You nodded in response climbing down the step ladder and putting it away. Despite this being the third time working with him you still didn’t really know him. All you knew about this guy is what So Hyun has told you. Her crush on him started last year when he was one of the spokespersons for the art club. He’s also pretty well known for his oil paintings that were shown in last year’s Fine Art’s seminar where he won first place for the second time in a row. You’ve definitely heard whispers about him in passing with a group of strangers but you never thought much of them. He seemed to keep to himself and his close circle of friends despite his reputation.
“I’m gonna make myself a macchiato, do you want any?” You asked as you started to take out what you would need. His face scrunched in disgust as he shook his head, “No thanks, isn’t it a little too late for coffee?”
“It’s never too late,” you told him even if the shop was only open until 8:00pm and it was already 7:30. He snickered, “I feel like that’s not true.”
“It’s never too late for me, I need caffeine to survive,” you explained, “Trust me I’m not nice if I don’t have coffee in my system.”
“That doesn’t sound healthy,” he said teasingly as he turned to the drawer filled with tea containers, “I rather drink tea or hot cocoa.”
“Why? Not a fan of coffee?“ you asked taking a cup to pour your drink into. The bell above the door rang as a couple girls came in going straight to the music section. The two of you stopped to greet them before continuing your talk. He shook his head, “No it’s too bitter.”
“But you’re around coffee all the time” you stopped, what were you saying? “Doesn’t the smell bother you?”
He smiled as he finished making his drink letting it sit on the counter, “Not really the smell, I just can’t do strong tasting drinks.”
“Let me guess, you get drunk easily too,” you meant it jokingly but the awkward side eye let you know you were right. You laughed lightly as he nodded, “One beer and I’m drunk.”
Before you could respond the door dinged again and the two of you looked toward it. Your face contorted in a mixture of confusion yet joy as two people walked straight to the counter, “What are you doing here?”
“So Hyun wanted to come,” Hobi said with a shrug of his shoulders as you left the kiosk letting him wrap an arm around you in greeting, “And you’re off soon right? Let’s get drunk.”
“I’m not off till like 8:20,” you told him thinking about all the closing you still had to do after the shop is closed. He made a face, “Give me your key then, we’ll wait at your place.”
With that you went back to the kiosk going straight for your small locker tucked into the side where you grabbed your keys. Taehyung just stood behind quietly staring ahead in no particular direction. His face has turned to stone again, borderline uninterested but you barely paid it any mind. So Hyun glanced to him a couple times before finally speaking up, “What about you? Any plans for the weekend?”
He lifted his shoulders in a shrug, “Just gonna stay home.”
“Well that’s no fun, you should go out,” she said batting her eyelashes. You were too busy talking to Hoseok to notice the way his eyes glanced your way for a brief moment. He didn’t give her a verbal response, simply nodded in agreement and turned away to get busy with something else. Once they had the keys to your apartment they left together leaving you alone with Taehyung again and the two girls still looking at albums.
“Is that your boyfriend?” He asked now that it was just you two. You turned to him, “He’s just a friend. I’ve known both of them for a couple years now.”
There wasn’t much talking anymore as you helped the girls with their things at register and Taehyung left to recover the floor and flip the sign to ‘closed’ after they left. You worked quickly to finish your closing duties and by the end of the night you were standing outside the shop while he locked it up.
“Which way are you headed?” He asked you staring around the empty street. It was dark and there weren’t many people out. The only light came from lit up store fronts. You pointed in the direction you’d be leaving to making him nod, “I’ll walk with you.”
“Oh you don’t have to, is it out of your way?” You asked as you two began walking in that direction anyway. You definitely didn’t expect him to offer something like that.
“The bus stop is on the way but it’ll still be a while so I don’t have a problem,” he told you shoving his hands in his coat pockets, “Plus it’s late and dark out so I wouldn’t want you walking home alone anyway.”
He walked you all the way to your apartment stopping across the street. He waited for you to pass the safe zone before turning around and heading back to the bus stop. He didn’t know that your friend was waiting on the other side ready to bombard you with questions about what the two of you talked about.
So Hyun let out an overly dramatic sigh, “If he just gave me one chance, I swear…”
Hoseok sat up from his spot on the grass, “If he gave you a chance he’d go running the second he finds out you stalk him.”
“I don’t stalk him—“
“You do,” you and Hoseok said at the same time laughing. He pushed the textbook off his lap, “Besides if anyone’s got a chance with Prince Charming it’s Y/n.”
You rolled your eyes, “He’s so far out of my league I can’t even think of him as anything other than a coworker.” You typed away on your laptop, you were currently doing an Op-Ed on recent movies just out in theaters for the student board page.
“Eh, you’re always talking when we come in and you work together, don’t think I haven’t noticed the heart eyes,” Hoseok smirked kicking at your leg as if that’d make you admit it. So Hyun looked to the both of you before a smile stretched across her face, “Is he working tonight?”
“I don’t know, I just agreed to cover the shift for Jimin but I don’t know everyone working,” you told her truthfully. You picked up the shirt after one of your coworkers asked if you could cover his shift. You still had some time for a few assignments so you weren’t in any rush to do the work. Since you wanted extra cash you agreed to cover the shift. Thankfully you weren’t stuck closing tonight so you’d get off earlier than usual.
“Well if he’s working you should see if he’s got any plans this weekend, Hobi’s having a bunch of people over so it’d be a perfect excuse to see him,” So Hyun said wishfully, “And then you can talk about me and make him see that I’m the one for him.”
“I thought he didn’t party,” Hoseok asked staring off in the distance across the courtyard on the East side of campus.
“He does if his friends are there, so make sure you invite them too.”
“And how am I supposed to do that?” You asked with a sigh. She glared down at you for a second, “I don’t know but you have to. Please? For me? You know I like him a lot and you’re my best friend who’s so lucky to be working with him.”
“So why don’t you just apply to work there instead of trying to get Y/n to set you two up,” Hoseok cut in, “Stop trying to make Y/n do the impossible.”
“Ugh you’re so mean to me Hobi, just say Y/n is your favorite.”
“Alright, Y/n’s my favorite,” you smacked him lightly to get him to stop but he just laughed in response. All three of you were pretty close but it’s true that sometimes you and Hoseok are closer. Nothing against So Hyun or anything but sometimes your personalities collide a little too much and you can only hang with her for so long before your social battery runs out.
“I’ve gotta get to my last class,” you said packing your things up, “If he works tonight I’ll try and tell him about it but I’m not making any promises.”
“I love you, you’re the best!” So Hyun said as you walked away from them. Before heading to your next lecture on photography you went looking for a vending machine.
You know how sometimes, when you hear of something for the first time [or see something up close that you’ve never seen before] and suddenly it’s popping up everywhere? Like when you hear of a random thing and now it’s all you can see or think about. That’s what’s happening right now.
Before you started working at the bookshop cafe you rarely saw Taehyung. Sure, a couple times you saw him around on campus but he was never close. Now that you started working with him and actually talk to him it’s like he’s everywhere. Like at the vending machines for example. You didn’t try and talk to him or anything but that didn’t stop him from turning at the feeling of someone behind him in line. He had to do a double take to make sure it was you, “Oh hey.”
“Hey,” you mumbled looking around as if talking to him alone was already pushing your luck. One of his fangirls might jump out at you and you wouldn’t be surprised if it was So Hyun. He got his drink and stood to the side stalling his departure as you went to get your own drink. Sensing his hovering you turned to him punching in the number for your drink, “Do you work tonight?”
“Er no, I think it’s Jimin, Jin, and Sia,” he told you as your drink was dispensed. You reached down for it pulling back with it in hand as you said, “Oh, I’m actually covering for Jimin today, we switched shifts.”
“Ah so he got you to do it? That’s nice of you,” he said. You acted like you didn’t notice the way he joined you now on a walk toward a direction neither one of you were sure of, “So does that mean we aren’t working together tomorrow?”
“No, I know it’ll be hard without me but I’m sure you’ll manage,” you teased. Your boss Jin, typically made the schedules and he liked consistency so usually, you were scheduled in shifts with either Taehyung or Sia. Very rarely did you work with some of the other baristas despite being there for a month already. It made it easier to create routine though since you mostly closed with Taehyung and you two split the work load in a way that made it easier for you both.
“I guess I’ll have to,” he let out a dramatic sigh stopping at a corner to look at you, “Got any plans this weekend?”
Oh right, quit your attempts at flirting you had an objective. You nodded your head, “Yeah actually, well kinda. You know my friend Hoseok? He’s gone to the shop a few times?” Taehyung nodded waiting for you to keep going.
“Well he’s throwing a party on Saturday and I was gonna ask a few people from work if they wanted to come.”
“Ah, so I’m one of the chosen few invited?” He asked with a playful smirk that you’re still trying to get used to. At a glance Taehyung always looks cold and expressionless. He dresses pretty mature in academic styled clothing and he’s just known for being serious all the time. Lately he’s been giving you glimpses at his 4D personality that sends you on a whirlpool of mixed emotions. You can definitely see why girls fall for his charms. On top of being physically attractive he’s also charming even if it is only toward a selective few. You definitely don’t see him smile that way to Sia or any of the other girls he talks to but you try not to let that thought get to your head.
“You can say that,” you said turning around to face him now that you really had to cut the conversation short to get to class, “I can text you the details if you’re interested.”
“Yeah alright, I’ll let you know.”
He let you go off as he stood there for a moment. Not even an entire minute later was a hand smacking down on his shoulder pulling him to one side as his friend, Jimin, stood there next to him. He had a cheesy grin, “Damn, I just missed Y/n. I was gonna thank her for switching shifts with me today.”
Should Taehyung mention what you’d told him? Or should he keep the party invite to himself so he has an excuse to see you outside of work? He’s seen you around campus a few times but he’s never sure if he should go out of his way to talk to you. He’s a pretty private person and you seem to be like that too so maybe you don’t like mixing your work life with everything else. Right now that you ran into each other had purely coincidental yet he was pretty pleased about it.
He’s not sure what it is about you but he enjoys seeing you. You’re really pretty but that wasn’t why he liked talking to you. A lot of girls around him were pretty but that never interested him in getting to know any of them better. He’s not really interested in relationships right now but that doesn’t stop people from trying to get closer to him. It’s tiring, honestly, or at least he thinks it is. He rather spend his time on his paintings and school that way he can graduate and start looking for a stable job as an art curator.
None of the girls who’ve tried to get closer to him have been his type either. Maybe he’s picky or unrealistic but when he’s thinking about someone he thinks about their future together. He doesn’t want to waste his time with meaningless hook ups or relationships if he doesn’t think it’ll ever work out. Take his coworker Sia for example, she’s extremely pretty but she drives him insane. She’s so forward and honest about her interest in him that it sort of pushes him away. If he falls for someone he doesn’t want it to be forced. He wants it to happen naturally because there’s genuine chemistry.
That’s why he likes talking to you at work. He likes to think there’s some chemistry there even if it’s just platonically. Conversation flows between you two so easily that working with you just makes his shift go faster. It doesn’t seem like you have ulterior motives when you talk and it feels like you’re actually interested in what he has to stay instead of just pretending like you are because you find him attractive. Do you find him attractive?
“Earth to Taehyung! I asked if you’re doing anything this weekend?” Jimin asked snapping him out of him out of his thoughts. He looked down at his friend, “Uh no? Just planning on staying home all weekend.” Lie.
“Alright so Saturday I’m meeting up with this chick and apparently her friend is crazy into you so what do you say? A group date or something?” Jimin asked hopefully as he followed Taehyung to his next class, “They’re pretty hot, dance majors, flexible…”
“I’m busy Saturday.”
“Okay well that’s a lie since you just told me you’re not doing anything,” Jimin rolled his eyes, “Come on do me one solid. You never wanna come out.”
“Sorry, I’m not interested,” Taehyung sighed turning to Jimin ready to leave, “Go ask Yoongi, I’ve gotta get to class.”
By the time the weekend rolled around you shared a couple quick texts with Taehyung. Nothing major or anything but he did ask for the address to the party and little things like telling you a certain regular came into the shop asking for you. It’s kinda bad how a text from him made you smile a little. Once again, you weren’t doing anything wrong but knowing your best friend had a huge crush on him while he texted you didn’t feel right.
He caught you completely by surprise Saturday night when he called you in the middle of you taking a shot at Hoseok’s party. You had to step away from the group as they loudly talked over the music finding a corner to answer the phone, “Hello?”
“Hey, so I think I found the place but how do I get up there?” He asked staring up at the apartment building in front of him. It took you a second to process what he was saying before you were rushing toward the door, “I’ll come down, see you in a minute.”
Taehyung couldn’t help the tiny smile from spreading across his face as you came down carrying a drink in hand. You waved him over to the door and he let a hand touch your side in a quick hug, “Are we getting you drunk tonight?”
“Let’s see how the night goes first,” he told you smiling following you to the elevator. He came alone even if you told him you’d be inviting people from work. He could’ve asked Jimin to come but he wanted to go on that group date and Taehyung was worried he’d ask those girls to come. When he first got the party there were a lot more people than he expected. Some were familiar faces from school and some weren’t. The ones who did recognize him approached him surprised to see he was at a party knowing damn well he was a homebody.
“What do you want to drink then?” You asked him leading him to the kitchen where the counter was filled with liquor bottles people brought and a few chasers. You tried not to think about his proximity when he came up next to you, a hand flat on the counter next to yours as you could feel the aura of his presence directly behind you peaking over your shoulder to inspect the inventory. He looked down at your cup, “What are you drinking?”
“It’s for alcohol but you can barely taste it,” you told him, “But if you’re a lightweight I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.”
“Bad thing for sure, let me taste,” he said taking the cup from you. You studied his face to see if he’d like it, his eyes locked on yours as he tipped the cup back letting the drink pour down his throat.
“Well?” You asked as he passed the drink back to you licking his lips. You couldn’t hear his response over the music so he leaned down close to your ear, his breath tickling your lobe as he spoke, “I like it.”
You ignored the shiver that went down your spine, “I’ll make you one then.” He nodded his head, lip being tugged between his teeth as he stared down at you. You looked prettier than usual but he thought you normally looked pretty anyway. Maybe it was the atmosphere that made him feel relaxed around you and since you weren’t running around making coffee drinks you looked more at ease too. He’s not sure if parties were your element but if he were to be asked to go on a night out he’s sure to say yes if you were the one asking. Now that he’s getting a chance to look around he noticed he’s the only one from work. That could mean the others you invited didn’t come, or he was the only one invited. He was going to go with that latter since Jimin didn’t mention an invite and that meant you specifically wanted him here.
Your brows furrowed in concentration looking at him leaning a little closer. It caught him of guard, his eyes shifting down to your lips for a moment before you pulled back. He blinked nervously as you smiled, “I just noticed… your eye lids are different. One’s a monolid and the other isn’t.”
Immediately his hand flew to block one of his eyes in embarrassment, “Yeah, it’s kinda weird.”
“I like it,” you whispered back to him still looking at his eyes as his hand slowly dropped to his side again. You both looked away from each other awkwardly as he raised his cup to his lips in order to hide the upward curl of his smile line.
“Y/n!” The call of your name pulled you both away from the stump and your hand was leaving the counter, barely noticing how the tips of your fingers had been touching his this entire time. You turned around looking for the one who called for you, So Hyun came up with a smile, “Jungkook just got here and he’s looking for you.”
Taehyung looked down to you as So Hyun motioned for you to take the excuse and leave. If you just let her work her charm on Taehyung she’s have him falling for her in no time—or so she says. You blushed looking back to Taehyung, “Oh, um, do you mind giving me a moment? I’m just gonna see what he wants.”
“Um…—“ “Don’t worry I’ll keep Taehyung busy,” she told you nudging you forward, “Why don’t you go find Jungkook?”
Taehyung watched you leave, the effects of being at a social gathering finally weighing on him and suddenly he wasn’t so at ease anymore. So Hyun flashed him a flirtatious smile, “Wow, I never see you at these sort of things. It’s good to see you let loose.”
“Yeah…” Taehyung nodded awkwardly. He didn’t really know So Hyun. The only times he’s talked to her is when she’s visited you at work and to be honest, he finds her kind of annoying. Honestly he couldn’t even understand how you two were friends but hey, they wasn’t for him to question. Don’t get him wrong, So Hyun seems nice but it’s almost forced. Like she’s not being genuine and he hates people like that. He was way more interested in knowing who Jungkook was rather than what she had to say.
“What are you drinking? Can I try it?” She asked him to which he shook his head no. “I don’t like sharing drinks,” he muttered scanning the groups of people to find you. Maybe this Jungkook guy wouldn’t mind if Taehyung included himself in the conversation. He found you across the living room chatting it up with a guy who had a full tattoo sleeve. It made his lucky number seven tattoo seem like a joke. Did you like guys with tattoos and piercings?
You put your arm on the guy’s shoulder laughing at something he said and Taehyung swears his eye twitched. The eyes you just recently complimented that left him feeling a little too happy over it. Has he made you laugh like that? You haven’t known each other for long but he likes to think he makes you smile at work. Maybe you’re the type who needs to be comfortable around someone before initiating skinship and it just means you two can still get closer. He wouldn’t mind that, possible texting you more or hanging out outside of work and school. Actually, he’s currently work on a new art piece and he needs a model for body proportion reference, maybe he could ask you?
The more he looked the more irritated he felt. This is why he can’t do crushes at his grown age, he’s way too possessive and intense. He doesn’t want anyone else making you laugh. Uh oh. Wait, does he like you?
Ah shit, he does.
“So let me get this straight,” Jungkook cleared his throat, “So Hyun has a thing for the campus crush, Kim Taehyung, and he’s your coworker. She asked you to get her with him and you’re helping her like a dumbass even though he clearly has a thing for you?”
You nearly choked on your drink, “Oh my god Kook, he definitely does not have a thing for me. We’re just friends.”
“Yeah okay, so why is he looking at me like he’ll hurt me if I get too close to you?” Jungkook asked raising a brow as if the answer were so obvious. You brushed him and his ideas off, “You know he’s a private person. He probably just feels weird that I left him with So Hyun when he doesn’t really know her.”
“I mean sure but he could also be thinking about murdering me because you left him with So Hyun to come talk to me. Are you even thinking about the danger you’re putting me in?” Jungkook asked holding a hand to his chest, “I know people say I’m intimidating but just look at his T-bone. One glare from him is good enough to K.O someone.”
“You’re so stupid—“ “No you’re stupid because now he’s leaving,” Jungkook shrugged making you whip around to find Taehyung. Sure enough he wasn’t next to So Hyun anymore and instead making his way to the door. You pushed your drink into Jungkook’s hand as he smirked yelling after you as you took off wishing you luck.
“Hey! Where you going?” You barely made it out the door catching him waiting for the elevator turning to look at you.
“Well, y’know I don’t really know that many people and you looked busy so…” he bit his lip in thought hearing the elevator doors open but making no move to get in as you walked over to him. Your brows furrowed, “Did So Hyun ditch you?”
“Uh no, you did,” he answered truthfully catching you by surprise. You brushed your hair out of your face nervously. Kim Taehyung does not have a thing for you. It’s literally not possible. Look at him then look at you.
“Right sorry, one of my friends wanted to talk and I sort of got dragged into conversa—“ “Yeah you looked pretty busy,” Taehyung shrugged as if it was no big deal even if it felt like it was to him, “No worries, it was fun though I think I’m just ready to call it a night.”
“Taehyung,” you whined thinking back to So Hyun and how she’ll blame you later for him leaving because he didn’t want to talk to her, “Can’t you stay a little longer? I won’t leave you alone anymore, I feel bad now.”
“Don’t,” he sighed hearing the doors close again. You were standing so close that he could practically smell the shampoo in your hair. He didn’t think it through when he moved a piece of stray hair behind your ear, “Don’t feel bad, I mean. I had fun, seriously but I don’t want you to feel like you’ve gotta stay with me all night.”
Even though he’d like it if you did but maybe that’s just the jealousy speaking. His touch sent goosebumps along your skin as you took an unconscious step toward him, “But I do feel bad since I invited you.”
Okay sure, you invited him because So Hyun asked you to but you found yourself just as excited as her to see him tonight. Obviously you tried not to think about it too much but it was hard not to when he was looking at you so sweetly. You never knew you liked guys with a twist. Someone who looks cold and mysterious but is an actual sweetheart to those he’s friends with. If you heard the little interest he had in what So Hyun or any other girl had to say compared to how attentive he was to you, you’d know he’s into you. But you don’t know that or you refused to even think about that possibility.
He smirked, “Well then you can make it up to me over lunch next week. Whenever you’re free between classes let’s eat in the cafeteria.”
“Okay!” You said excitedly, face lighting up. He nodded stepping closer pulling you into a goodbye and a promise to text before finally getting into the elevators. You got back to the party blushing and slightly confused on if you should tell So Hyun about lunch.
Part of you would like to have lunch just between you two but he’s already been way too nice to you. Jungkook already thinks he’s into you and soon you’re gonna start believing it too if you keep going at this rate. You’ve definitely confused a guy’s niceness for interest in you and you’re way too embarrassed when they choose So Hyun over you.
That’s why you agreed to help her. She’s drop dead gorgeous and had the height and body of a model. You definitely did not compare and knowing she was so stuck on Taehyung you didn’t even have a chance. You’ll just live vicariously through her if they ever do get together. He’s the total package and you can agree to that even if he wasn’t your type originally. Too bad you’re not as attractive or interesting as your best friend and all the other girls into him. Even Sia is so pretty it makes you want to cry. And she has such a soft and feminine voice unlike yours.
Ugh, maybe you’ve been single for too long and need to do something about it so you stop thinking about your best friend’s crush.
It was mid next week when your schedule aligned with Taehyung's and unfortunately for him so did your friends. He waited in line behind you and So Hyun as you got your trays of food pretending like everything was cool even if it was supposed to be just you and him.
"You're paying right? I forgot my wallet," So Hyun asked looping her arms with yours giving you a smile. Your brows furrowed, "Don't you have Apple Pay?"
"But you're paying for Taehyung's it's not fair." You rolled your eyes. You really hadn't planned on letting So Hyun tag along but after overhearing you tell Hobi you weren't going to have lunch with him today she asked why. You had to come clean and then she threw a fit for not inviting her. You tried telling her that you weren't sure if Taehyung would be okay with it but she assured you that on the night of the party they got along really well. She also thinks he might be a little into her and well, who were you to ruin her chances when she actually might have a shot with him?
Okay, to be fair you don't think he's that into her but hey, you're just going along with the flow and doing as told. Once you all got your food you turned quickly to reach for your wallet not noticing Taehyung sneak past you and paying with his phone for all three meals. You turned with your wallet in hand looking at him in disbelief, "I was going to pay for it all."
He lifted a brow biting his lip looking down at you for a moment, "You can treat me next time."
Next time? What does he mean next time. Like did he mean he wanted you two to go out for a meal again? Or was he just saying that to say it but with no intention of it? So Hyun tried not to overthink what he said either instead moving too match his pace to an empty table, "Thank you Taehyung, that was so sweet of you. Maybe I should treat you to a meal too."
He simply nodded in acknowledgment as the three of you took your seats at an empty table. You sat next to So Hyun as she moved to the spot in front of Taehyung and it made you feel slightly awkward. You're not sure if you're reading it right but Taehyung seems disappointed. The three of you are in an uncomfortable silence that made your leg bounce anxiously. You stood up awkwardly, "I'm gonna go dump this, I'll be back."
So Hyun looked after you with an unreadable expression as she tried to think of something to say to him. "I'm still surprised to see you at that party since I know you don't really go to many. You're not really into going out, are you?"
"You could say that," Taehyung huffed leaning into the table, his tone a little bitter as he looked after waiting for you to walk back already. He was being rude, he knows it but he just doesn't get it. He was hoping it was just you two so he could try and understand what he feels for you and if there was any possibility there but now he couldn't.
His gaze shifted to So Hyun speaking clearly now, "But I went so I could see Y/n."
He had a feeling he knew what So Hyun was trying to do. She might not have had the worst intentions but Taehyung didn't like it. If she were to approach him naturally instead of trying to force her way close to him through you, he might've looked at her different. But he just didn't like her way of doing things. It didn't feel genuine and sure she was pretty but he didn't feel any sort of connection between them. So it sort of upset him that you seemed to be playing along in her charades. It had him raising from his seat holding his tray and backpack.
Your slow walk back to the table was rushed at the sight of him leaving making sure to glare at you in the process. Your brows furrowed in worry as you quickly went to So Hyun who was gathering her things too, "What happened?"
She rolled her eyes holding her things, "Well he's definitely not into me at all. Good fucking job."
"Alright we'll now I'm extra confused, are you trying to say this is my fault?" You asked, some pent up frustration leaking out. This is why you should always mind your business and ignore people's wishes. You try and help them then get blamed when shit goes wrong. So Hyun sighed, "Of course it's your fault I told you I liked him and you flirt with him anyway! He literally hates me, what did you say to him?"
"Look, I have no idea what you're talking about," you raised a hand in surrender getting your backpack, "And I don't understand why you're suddenly mad at me when I've literally done everything you've asked me to."
"Ugh, don't you get it? It didn't work Y/n, he hates me and I think you told him something," So Hyun accused you pretty dramatically in your opinion, "You know I'm into him so why would you do that?"
"I'm sorry but you sound so dumb, why would I say something to make him hate you?"
"Because you like him! You knew I liked him first and you didn't like that so you were talking shit about me," she added making you scoff. Alright that's enough, you held your book bag on your shoulder.
"Okay well clearly you're delusional and need to grow up," you said with a small sigh as you looked up at her, "It's not my fault you're unlikeable."
The argument didn't even seem like a big deal unfortunately. You've had a fair share amount of petty arguments with So Hyun through the course of your friendship and yet you never stopped hanging out. Give it a couple days for Hoseok to force you two to make up and everything would be fine. Now would everything be fine with Taehyung? You're not sure honestly.
Luckily for you, you caught him outside a couple minutes later. He didn't even try and avoid you when you came up to him you cleared your throat awkwardly having no clue what to say now that you were in front of him, "You left earlier without saying bye. I'm starting to think you're not good at goodbyes."
You tried joking in hips of easing the tension by bringing up when he tried leaving the party the other night. He licked his lips with a sigh looking away from you, "Right... bye."
"Tae, I'm sorry if you're mad at me or an—"
"Why would I be mad?" Taehyung asked leaning against the wall of some class building. You struggled to find a response though you're not sure if he was actually looking for one from you. "Because you keep letting your friend try and include herself in time that I'm trying to spend with you?"
Your silence was irritating him so at this point he was rambling, "Look if you're not into me, I get it but I definitely don't need you trying to get me with one of your friends."
"No... that's not—Tae—" you couldn't form the right words. Great. This is why you should really mind your business. In trying to help So Hyun you only managed to get both of them mad at you in the end. Your mind was so jumbled you almost missed the single 'if you're not into me, I get it' which was broad but at the same time a hidden meaning was behind it. Or at least you thought there was, like maybe an implication of what he was currently thinking? Maybe even implying he was into you and it's not reciprocated? Why was it an if? What was going to happen if you admitted to being attracted to him? You just had to know.
"What do you mean?" Was all that you could ask and it made him roll his eyes. He thought he was being obvious with how he felt about you since the beginning. Even before he realized he was into you he always paid more attention to you than anyone else. He always talked to you and went out of his way to find you at work. He went to that stupid party because you invited him. He paid for lunch today because he wanted an excuse to meet with you again and yet you still don't get it. He took a step closer to you, looking down at you making you have to crane your neck to look up.
"I mean that I'm not attracted to your friend, I'm attracted to you and only you," Taehyung said lowly, "Do you know what I mean now?"
You couldn't stop the flutter of your lashes being completely surprise. He's into you? Like, is that what he's saying right now? You said something you probably shouldn't have, "We're friends though."
It made him scoff. You really could not get it even if you were being hit in the face with it. He took a step back with a small huff, "Yeah well I don't really want to be just friends Y/n. But if that's all we'll be then whatever I guess, just friends."
"That's not—oh god I don't know what to say." You really didn't. Obviously you had growing feelings for him but the timing seemed off. Not to mention he was so out of your leave him having a liking toward you just made no sense. Was he playing you? Taehyung didn't seem the type but after everyone has told you that he doesn't really date or give people the chance you just can't understand why he's willing to with you.
He adjusted the strap on his backpack, "It's fine Y/n, you don't see me that way so I guess I got to get over it. It was my bad for thinking there was something between us. I've gotta get to my next class, I'll see you at work."
"Alright but that's not your fault that he's not into So Hyun, right?" Jungkook asked a week later at a party. So Hyun has yet to speak with you and you've been switching shifts with Jimin again until he gets his new schedule figure out. You haven't really had the chance to with Taehyung either but one problem at a time.
"I don't know," you sighed drinking from your red cup as the two of you talked in the corner trying to block out the rest of the party. You only came out with Jungkook tonight since So Hyun wasn't talking to you and Hobi didn't want to pick sides. "He kinda told me... he's into me or something."
"I mean yeah you're hot and easy to be around," Jungkook chuckled as if it were obvious making your eyes roll, "But I mean, I get she liked him but you did what you could. How is it your fault that you two fell for each other instead? It's not like they were dating or anything."
"We didn't fall for ea—" "Shut up because yes you did," he cut you off before a smirk appeared on his face as he teased, "You like him."
"Don't start with that please," you sighed. Frankly you didn't understand why she was so pissed off at you and you doubt telling her your problems with Taehyung would make it better. If anything she'll just be more mad at you for managing to peak Taehyung's interest when she couldn't.
"Y/n, I know what you're thinking, y'know?" Jungkook said, "You like him but you think you shouldn't because of So Hyun but news flash, she doesn't always have to get what she wants. He likes you, try it out. He's here, did you know that?"
"No he's not," you tried to say but he pointed across the room and sure enough Taehyung was here.
He'd been here for a while and it surprised everyone. He really wasn't the party type but a friend of his was here with Jimin. Jimin texted him that you were here with some guy, and like the hopeless jealous fool he is, he had to see who. It was your tatted friend again. He couldn't even approach you because he thinks you've been avoiding him even though Jimin has told him that you're just helping him out because of his schedule.
Before you could say anything Jungkook was already attempting to fix your hair and pull your shirt down to show more cleavage. You swatted at his hand as he said, "Look, he came for a reason and that reason could be you. So stop acting like this is a hard decision and just go talk to him. You haven't been laid in a while and even I'll admit he's hot."
"He's also been staring over here all night and it's kind of creeping me out so get away from me," he said the last part with a good shove leaving you to stumble forward. You turned to glare at him but Jungkook ducked out of view and left you there in a crowd of people confused. Maybe he's right. You know Taehyung is interested in you because he said so. You also know that So Hyun will be mad at you even if you didn't pursue him so why try and act like you didn't like him too? You're just gonna say fuck it and go for it with Taehyung because you're unbelievably attracted to him and not just for his looks.
"Oh she's coming over here, she finally saw you," Jimin says playfully as Taehyung stares at him worried now, "Who?"
"Y/n," Jimin smirked, "I know that's why you came tonight. You had no plans on coming until I told you Y/n was here with a guy. I'm not stupid."
Taehyung opened his mouth to protest when Jimin was patting his shoulder for good luck and leaving him alone in the kitchen where he'd been hiding this entire time. You blocked his path from leaving now, "Hey... I didn't know you were here."
"Yeah you were busy," he said in a harsher tone than he meant. He knows he didn't have a right to be upset over you talking to some other guy who you were friends with but he couldn't help it. Each time he thought about you he liked you a little more. Considering you haven't been talking as much it gives him anxiety almost when he sees you looking perfectly fine not talking to him. This is why he can't do short relationships, he gets way too attached and he overthinks everything possible outcome of the relationship. He doesn’t like games. He’s forward with how he feels and he’ll let it be known once he realizes it.
"What are you drinking? Can I have some?" You asked hoping to lighten the mood sensing he might be upset with you. He didn't say anything offering you the drink and in an attempt to be forward instead of taking it you pressed your lips to the rim. He tilted the cup up for you watching the slight drop of alcohol on your lip once he took it back. He visibly gulped looking down at you waiting to see what you'd do next.
"Um I wanted to apologize and let you know that it was wrong of me to try and force So Hyun on you," you told him honestly, "I thought that you were just being nice to me to be nice and I never considered you being into me at all. I know that's not an excuse so I just wanted to say sorry.”
Taehyung didn't say anything for a minute, he simply nodded in understanding even if he felt confused still. A small amount of irritation too, was he not being as forward about his interest in you as he thought? Why would you not consider his feelings for you? Did you think you were unlikeable? Did you not realize he thought you looked pretty doing absolutely anything?
"And," you bit your lip nervously. Listen to Jungkook's advise and try it out. See what happens if you're honest because yeah, you definitely wanted Taehyung all along even if you never admitted it. Would that make you a bad friend to So Hyun? Shaking the thought away you leaned on your tip toes finally ripping the bandaid off as you whispered in his ear, "I'm actually crazy about you."
He nearly choked on his drink looking down at you. He's always had slightly sensitive ears so feeling you whisper against his ear sent a shiver down his spine—especially because of what you said. You blushed lightly at your admission, "And if you don't completely hate me I'd like to talk things out privately. Like maybe at my place?"
"Right now?" He asked looking at all the party goers and the dark sky through the window. You nodded making him clear his throat nervously clenching his jaw at the thought, "Okay, what about that guy with tattoos?"
"Jungkook?" You asked him looking around the people for Jungkook. He was off already flirting with someone not paying any money to you. You'll just send him a text telling him you're leaving and it'll be fine, "He won't care."
He looked down at you absentmindedly letting the side of his leg brush against yours due to your proximity. With a final nod he spoke, "Alright let's go."
You ended up riding the bus as close to your apartment as possible and walked the short distance to the building. Your conversations were light barely brushing over the main topic and finding any little thing to talk about instead. You directed him to the living room while you went to your room for a moment to freshen up.
"Want anything to drink?" You asked Taehyung as he sat on your couch, unintentionally man spreading as he followed your figure to the kitchen. Now that he's got the confirmation that you were interested in him he wanted to move things along. He wanted to drag you to him and talk things out, maybe even kiss your way into a relationship.
"Water's fine," he muttered in response not bothering to hide the way he checked you out through the opening of the kitchen. It was pretty dark in your apartment, the only light coming from the kitchen and he sat in shadows. When you set his glass down you bent forward a little reaching for the control and he'd be lying if he said he didn't look at the skirt you wore in the process.
He sniffled a little fidgeting in his seat when you sat back next to him. You turned the tv on pulling up YouTube and playing some background music lowly before turning to him catching him already staring. You bit your lip nervously tucking some hair behind your ear as you just looked at each other for a moment.
"So, uh, do you wanna talk about... y'know," you used your hand to motion at the space between you hoping he got the hint of what you were trying to say. He nodded, "I mean, like I said, I don't really have an interest in being just friends but I also can't make you feel something for me if you don't."
"But I do," you told him honestly and it made him smile, eyes slightly glazed over. It went quiet between you two again and your confidence was starting to fade. Now that you've admitted to not only him but yourself too that you like him, there's definitely other things on your mind than just talking. You're just not sure what he wants to do.
You tried not to think about how his thigh was against yours and his arm was thrown behind you on the couch. The music was chilled out but definitely a little sensual and you're not sure if it was a little too forward already. He isn't making a move or anything so you couldn't read him at all. But at the same time, you can't keep being the one to not make any effort. You liked him since the beginning but you pushed the thought away because you didn't think he'd ever think of you that way. You let So Hyun include herself in time that was just supposed be you two and he was clearly upset every time. He has been more forward than you in expressing himself so maybe it's your turn.
You turned to face him now, knee digging into his thigh making his eyes widen in curiosity. With a deep breath you looked down at his lips tempted to just go for it but still slightly hesitant. It wasn't until the hand behind you began playing with the strap of your tank did you say fuck it. You barely moved an inch forward before his hand was flying to your jaw pulling you into him.
Your lips had barely touched before you were caving into each other's, mouths sloppily working in a frenzied kiss. It was super short too, both of you pulling away almost worried at the intensity of that little touch. Your eyes locked on each other once more before he was dragging you back to him. His head tilted to the right while yours went left, his hand still under your jaw keeping you in a position that worked for both of you.
There was nothing slow about the kiss, tongues meeting in the middle before exploring each other's mouth eliciting w deep groan from his chest as his fingers touched your hair letting his hand slide from your side to near your ear. With the sudden force of making out you found yourself moving before you could process what you were doing. You swung a leg over his lap until you were straddling him and his free hand went straight to your skirt.
Your heads bobbed in a messy make out session as his hand gripped the fabric of your skirt making you press closer to him until your chest was on his. Your arms wrapped around his neck and fingers in his hair when you found the palm of his hand flat on your butt sneaking under your skirt. You pushed at his shoulders lightly trying to pull away and catch your breath. A thin line of spit connected your lips together as you both panted unevenly. His eyes searched yours for any sign of regret, the hand on your panties now massaging into the flesh of your ass but not roughly. It was a soft and soothing caress as you began to pepper gentle kisses at the corners of his mouth. His mouth was slightly agape as he fought to catch his breath and not buck up into the warmth between your legs that was currently over his member. He couldn't even remember the last time he made out with someone like this. It had to be months at least, probably since the last girl he was in a relationship with. Taehyung's breath hitched as you got to the angle of his jaw sucking lightly making your way toward the space under his ear.
You didn't miss the way his hands tightened around you fidgeting a little when you got close to his ear. Deciding to take it further you pulled the end of his lobe into your mouth nipping at it softly with your teeth.
"Ngh," he bit back a moan at the feel, his eyes crossing for a moment when your breath fanned his ears. Why the hell were they so damn sensitive. You moved your hips over him feeling his grip on your butt tighten in the process. He was slumped back on the couch essentially letting you take the reigns for a moment as he tried to clear his mind of the dirty thoughts that were coming way too soon. Instead, he let your hips move over him back and forth, the rough denim of his jeans rubbing against your arousing heat.
You were practically dry humping like a pair of horny teens but it clearly wasn't enough. You both only had one thing on his mind and he needed it. Your fingers were in his hair scratching blissfully at his scalp as you whispered into his ear, "Wanna move things to my room?"
The tingling sensation traveled from his ear down his throat to his spine making him react far quicker than you expect. Both hands tightened at your bottom as he jolted off the couch keeping you on him. "Where?" He asked, lips brushing against yours as you clung to him. You pointed in the direction and he was taking you that way.
The door swung open with a bang before his leg was kicking it back shut. He walked until his knees hit the edge of a bed and just like that he was trapping you under him in another heated kiss. Your hands cupped his face as he pressed himself further into you, eyes squeeze shut in pleasure.
Just how you did on the couch, he was pushing his groin against yours, knees digging into the mattress with your body in between before he started a slow grind into you. The material of his jeans was doing magic hitting against your pleasure nub above your entrance and you could feel the growing bulge adding more pressure. His elbows were near your shoulders keeping himself from crushing you as your heads moved in every direction that could deepen the kiss more and more. Your lips felt numb, rubbed raw almost but neither of you pulled away. His tongue was winning against yours in exploration drawing a light sigh from your lips when he cradled your head between his arms to keep you in place.
Your hands were playing with the collar of his shirt before running down the front of his chest to feel what was underneath. It was soft and lean muscle, the kind that someone had when they were fit even without intense exercise.
He put most of his weight on his legs as he sat back further with his calves tucked under his thighs letting his hands move down your sides bunching up your shirt. Your mouths only separated for one quick moment only enough time for him to tug your shirt off and his too. They fell somewhere on the floor as he let himself looked down at you. Your legs were still thrown over his spread thighs, his erect ion only an inch away from the space between your legs. Large hands gripped at the bend of your knees yanking your body down and closer to him until you were flush against him again. He guided your hips up searching for some friction despite both of you still being dressed below the waist. His hands were at your sides letting your hips grind back on him and it was enough for him to be draping over you again to capture your lips with his.
"You're so pretty," he mumbled against your lips as he pulled away, nose and mouth brushing over the curve of your chin down your neck, "And nice."
He was moving away now, legs still widened as he crawled down your body, kissing along your collarbone, "And you smell so good."
His face was getting closer to your chest, hands now running over your bra, "And I think about you all the time."
His hands cupped the your boobs over your bra giving them a light squeeze as his lips licked over the rounded flesh, "I think about how you'll react when I touch you."
They snaked under the bra, thumbs running over your nipples causing an immediate reaction from you, "And how soft you'll feel in my hands."
"Taehyung..." you licked your lips breathlessly arching your back up to slide your hands under and unclip the material. You yanked the straps down managing to take it off with his hands still groping at your tits. With the bra out of the way he took the chance to take your nipple into his mouth, tongue swirling around the bud until it hardened while his thumb worked the other. He gave your chest special treatment with a massage and wet kisses along your skin practically covering you in drool while your hips searched for something to rut against but his body was hovering over you yet not touching.
Once he had enough of your chest he kissed down the center of your stomach, hands sliding down to your skirt but he never took it off you. Instead, his fingers grazed over to your panties, touching the hem before sliding them down, "I wonder about how you'll taste on my tongue."
"Will you let me have a taste?" He asked, skirt covering half his face watching as you gave an impatient nod. He slid the material down your legs letting them fall to the bed. You wiggled nervously feeling his stare on your definite wet core but before you could hurry him along your mouth drew open in a sudden gasp. A blob of spit landed on your cunt from his mouth and the thick liquid felt strange against your clit due to its unexpectedness. He just spit directly on your pussy...
One of his arms was holding your thigh on his shoulder while the other let his hand swipe over his spit. His middle finger touched your clit as he rubbed the spit with your dripping arousal to make it wetter and messier too. Then, once he made sure you were coated in liquid, he flattened his tongue against your opening curving it upward to collect and decent size of wetness. His tongue rolled back into his mouth and he swallowed heavily, not even thinking about your impatient fidgeting as he got the taste he was looking for.
"Mm," he hummed in appreciation, eyes shut in bliss for a moment before letting your clit fit between his index and middle fingers as he rubbed upwards, palm on your entrance applying pressure there too. Then, he pulled away, hand doing a 180 so his fingers were facing down and he leaned forward to kiss your lips, all while your clit was still stimulated between his fingers.
"I like it," he muttered against your lips, "I think I'm gonna have more."
You weren't much of a talker during foreplay but Taehyung's deep voice had your thighs wanting to shut to stop the pool of arousal. His voice was so sensual and raspy that you didn't mind the light dirty talk. Maybe you'd whisper into his ear more since you know he likes it now. Maybe you'll even do it to him at work sometimes just to see him get riled up.
He went back down between your legs, not bothering to tease anymore as he did just that. Tongue lapping up more and more speeding up his flicking while his fingers slipped over your clit thanks to the wetness of it.
Immediately your hand went to his soft dark hair again for leverage as his ministrations picked up pace, face practically digging at your heat. It was messy, nasty almost, with the slurping sounds he made. He was lost in it too, your little sounds and the way you ground into his face was enough to egg him on to take it further. He could've been like this all night if you would have let him. Your hand tugged him back by his hair. He didn't mind the sting though ready to take your mouth back on his if that's what you wanted.
You didn't say anything sitting up watching his face contort in confusion and worry. With a hand on his chest you guided him to lie down and he submitted to your actions easily, hand over yours as you applied pressure to get him down. Once he was lying down you tugged at his zipper watching the way his stomach sunk in under your touch and the black band of his briefs was slowly exposed. He didn't bother fighting it when you tugged his jeans down along with his briefs.
Taehyung released a grunt in relief as the right denim was finally off and briefs no longer confining his erecrion. He felt heavy on his navel, thick member stiff against his happy trail. Your eyes caught the way his cock twitched at the sudden exposure. You threw his clothes to the floor moving too unzip your skirt and slide it down when he stopped your hand.
"Leave it, I want it on when you're on top," he said, thumb running over your wrist bone soothingly. The corner of your mouth turned upward in a smirk as you nodded. He wants you wearing it when you're on top? Alright.
He didn't know how to react when you turned away from him, straddling his midsection facing away from him and his hands immediately raised to try and touch you. You got on your knees, pussy in his face that he finally got what you wanted to do. He couldn't stop the animalistic growl he let out as his hands gripped your thighs pulling you back into position. Once he had you over him his mouth was on your cunt again, his chin rutting against your clit as his fingers spread you open for him to eat you out.
The only thing to make his movements slow was the softest kitten lick down the length of his cock. It caught him by surprise, balls tightening at the feeling especially when you kissed the vein underneath. With one hand you picked up his member so it was pointed to the ceiling and continued to lather him in your drool letting your mouth and tongue lick around his length. His hips began to move seeking more than just the teasing, fingernails digging into your butt as you slobbered all over him.
Once his length was wet enough you moved to his tip, tongue poking at his slit where a clear drop of precum dribbled out. You licked at it, forcing spit down his head before wrapping your around it fully. Once your mouth adjusted to his girth you began to bob your head up and down, tongue licking along his slit everything you came up before coiling around him when you went down.
Whatever you did felt good to him, his hips began moving to fit more into your mouth slowly. His arms went to your back pulling you flush against him so your butt was sticking out more and right in his face. He kept you locked in around him with one arm while the other went to your hair.
You had a bad gag reflex so it took more effort to not choke and he was bigger than any guy you've ever been with. You took as much of him as possible but your hands did most of the work. When it became too much you lifted your mouth off with a pop, drool lining the way before you moved lower.
Taehyung nearly choked in your essence at the warm and wet tightness trying to suck his testicles. Your mouth licked at the soft flesh despite how full they felt and it had him shaking.
"Aish," he hissed, eyes scrunched as his head fell against your pillows, no longer eating you out like a mad man. He needed a second to enjoy this new feeling, when your tongue licked down to his perineum, the thing like down his balls. Your hand was also jerking him off in just the right way that he was extremely close. As much as he'd like to release just like this he wanted more.  No, needed more and when your actions got bolder he couldn't take it anymore. He liked that it wasn’t a fight for control. It was equal parts in trying to pleasure each other. He wasn’t trying to be the dominant one at the moment. He was just trying to take the pleasure and go along with whatever happened. It felt so much more natural that way than him trying to force you into positions or foreplay you didn’t want to do. You were just as eager to pleasure him too and he had no problem letting you do it.
"Y/n,” he licked his dry lips, “I need you on my cock, now.”
It took you a second to think about what he was asking but he was already guiding you up trying to turn you. You crawled off him feeling his arm trying to hold you by your legs as you stretched over to your nightstand. You didn’t usually buy condoms since you didn’t have a lot of hook ups but Jungkook thought it’d be funny to gift you some after making fun of your dry spell. A true friend, really.
Taehyung took it from you puckering his lips while tearing into the packaging. You leaned over him pressing your lips against his in a quick kiss as he rolled the condom on. Once it was one he was teaching for your hand leading you back over him. He held his member up as you straddled him trying to line your entrance with his tip, skirt hiding the view but draped over his hand. You pulled his lip between your teeth in a gentle nip as you tried moving back to sit over him more.
He smacked his lips disappointedly pouting a little when you pulled away from the kiss. But he hummed in pleasure as you began to lower yourself, his tip sinking into your heat slowly. His hands on your thighs letting you adjust to his size, he had to bite into his bottom lip when your walls kept him snug.
You began to slowly move up and down to speed the stretching process despite the slight discomfort. You could see the struggle he was facing at the wait and honestly you couldn’t wait either. Your hands were on his chest using him for leverage before you gained more rhythm.
Your movement began to include some grinding letting your folds get stimulated with the added movement. His hands were under your skirt groping the rounds of your ass, nails digging into the plump flesh letting his hips buck to match your pace.
“Oh fuck,” he grunted, low deep gasps escaping his lips, “… so tight.”
“Tae,” you whined letting the shortened name slip as your head fell forward, “You feel so good.”
You were breathless, putting more weight on your hands and knees so you could bounce your hips repeatedly, rotating them as best as you could to reach new angles. With the change of rhythm his arm wrapped around your lower back again, pressing you against him making you collapse over him. Your head fell by his neck feeling the tightness of his arms around your waist as he dug his heels into the mattress so he could fuck up into you. He matched your rhythm and the new angle stimulated your clit making you whine softly into his ear.
Your cute little sounds we’re making his hips stutter, “Big—you’re so big,” you moaned into his ear.
He reacted immediately, mouth drawn open trying to find your mouth to kiss but instead for your shoulder, “Gonna cum soon pretty girl?”
“Mhm,” you silently mewled, the soft sounds tickling the sweet spot in his ear to the pointer where his hand was pressing into your tailbone and before you knew it you were flipped onto your back. In this new position he reached a deeper level with your legs wrapped around him.
With a few more deep thrusts you were falling apart. Your orgasm hit you in a frenzy, hips twitching over his length feeling your ring of nerves tighten around him.
He ease his cock into you riding out your high but with the way your walls seemed to puffed around him it became too much. It took one more roll of your hips for him to release. He groaned into your ear cumming into the condom, both of you riding the wave for a moment.
After letting you relax around him again Taehyung pulled out gently. You were both covered in a thin layer of sweat but he left tender touches on your shaking thighs moving to lay down next to you. You looked at each other lovingly taking your hand in his kissing your knuckles, “Was that too much?”
You shook your head no in response before turning on your side, “Come here.”
He scooted closer lifting an arm for you to crawl under and wrapped around you holding you to his chest. Taehyung felt like he could think properly again, more clearly and not as lust filled. He stayed quiet for a moment trying to unravel all the details of what you’d told him earlier.
“We did things backwards,” he sighed, his tone was light almost teasing, “I was supposed to take you out to dinner first.”
“What about breakfast?” You asked. He made a face in thought before smiling, squeezing you a little, “Breakfast works.”
You snuggled into him some more as he held you closely. He played with the hand he still held, the one he kissed, intertwining your fingers then separating them only to do it all over again. You couldn’t help but smile at a certain thought, “I thought you were supposed to be mean and hard to approach but you weren’t ever like that with me.”
“Maybe I just liked you since the beginning,” he shrugged not bothering to confirm nor deny the rumors. He was just a private person and he felt comfortable around you enough to open it. He’d been attracted to you all along even when you tried getting him with So Hyun.
And it really was you all along. He still kept his guard up around everyone else and he doesn’t see that changing. If anything he’ll probably distance himself further from people interested him. He wants to respect you and the future of your relationship.
“Just so we’re clear too, no more trying to set me up with your friends,” he said teasingly but serious at the same time, “Because I’m yours, nobody else’s.”
“Am I yours too?” You looked up at him with rounded sparkly eyes. He kissed the tip of your nose, “And nobody else’s.”
You completely missed the ringing of your phone that was left in the living. The text from So Hyun that went unnoticed.
sohyun: I’m sorry for being mean
sohyun: I don’t want us arguing and if y’all like each other I can’t be mad
sohyun: ur my best friend and I luv u
sohyun: ps Jungkook told me u were with taehyung
sohyun: I’m jealous but also :’) happy for u
::.
a/n alright so this isn’t really angsty. I’ve been writing that too much :p
after story reflection: Tae is very much so a tsundere to ppl he’s not close with. you and so hyun are still friends but Tae doesn’t fully trust her bc he doesn’t want to see u get hurt. he is nice to her only for u tho
also we love support jk and jhope who are really just here for their friends and are observers who gas you up when ur insecure
fun fact: I also used to be a barista and honestly such a fun job
I keep writing college au’s even tho I’m a college dropout lmao
y’all the smut was kinda long and it’s funny bc I was writing it while watching the last change days episode 😭💀 like half the time I didn’t even know what I was typing I was just going with the flow
tagged: @here4btsfics @blue-creative-energy
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quack-quack-snacks · 5 months
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Drowning Without You By My Side
My Navigation and Masterlist
My Sweet Home Masterlist
My Cha Hyun-su Masterlist
Pairing(s): Cha Hyun-su x Fem!Reader Summary: Ever since losing everything, you felt like you were drowning. Trying to end it all wasn't successful when an unknown and unnatural force was hell-bent on stopping you, but when a near-death experience - unintended this time - causes you to tempt Death's grasp, you finally meet the force keeping you bound to the world. Warnings: Season 2 spoilers (slightly)! Slight panic attack, drowning, explicit detail of attempted suicide on the reader's part (The National Suicide and Crisis Hotline is 988. There are so many people who care about you and would love to help you. You are not alone), cutting and bleeding (during the roll calls), Ah-yi being too cute for her own good, and Hyun-su being a fond little cinnamon roll and a great big brother (even if it's only for a scene), no use of (y/n). Word Count: 6,163
Pt 2: Floating Above Those Dark Skies :)
Hyun-su!
You woke up with a start, sweat slickening your skin and causing the slightly ripped t-shirt to stick to your back. It was designed with a band of which you'd never heard the likes of before the apocalypse started. Your breathing was quickened intensely and you wiped your hands over your face, pushing your palms into your eye sockets as you fruitlessly tried to calm your heart rate. It took several minutes of doing every method you knew to stop a panic attack before you were finally able to take a deep breath without it stuttering in your lungs. You swung your legs over the edge of the hammock you had designated as your bed since you first arrived at the stadium all those months ago. To know that you hadn’t seen the boy you once called home in over half a year was a hard pill to swallow. You hated yourself for letting him go.
Hated that you didn’t try harder to follow after him.
Hated that you let the group force you onto the truck with them and head to the safety camp.
It was a never-ending cycle of self-loathing since you’d arrived at the stadium. When you’d found the secret exit leading out of the stuffy concrete walls you were trapped in, you found yourself leaving whenever possible. You couldn't handle the pitiful stares of your fellow Green Home survivors and the eyes of the citizens in the stadium who disliked the woman that protected the “murderer” of the chief’s husband. Although Eun-yoo and you did not really have any sort of relationship in terms of friendship, you had an unspoken agreement to protect and stand up for each other. If not each other, you had no one. The people you each had viewed as the closest to you of anyone had gone missing or even passed on to the next life. You both refused to admit that last thought out loud, though. 
Every morning, you would wake up and attend the morning roll call before getting dressed and leaving for the day until you returned just in time for the evening roll call.
Today would be no different.
You dropped your bare feet onto the frigid concrete floor and walked towards the bathroom, suppressing a shiver. The entrance to the bathroom had been taken off after an incident inside of the stadium. It involved none other than yourself and the elder brother of one of the boys who bullied Yeong-su when the two of you got into a fight. You can remember the exact words he had spoken to you after you talked to him about the boy’s behavior.
“The little shit deserves it. Being the little brother of a murderer and the devil’s advocate,” he’d said, referring to Eun-yu and yourself. “I hope he ends up becoming a monster. I even hope I’ll be the one to have the honor of killing him.”
You remember punching him square in the nose as soon as the words left his mouth. He’d flown backward and slammed into the bathroom door, successfully knocking it off the hinges and breaking the flimsy wood in half. You were positively seething at the absolute audacity the man had. Not being satisfied with how he’d fallen, you jumped on top of him and started pounding your fist into his face. You hit him over and over again, undeterred by the few hits he managed to get in, until you were pulled off of him. You started thrashing around violently when you felt hands wrapping around you to pull you off of him until you realized it was Park Chan-young, the young soldier who had been an alibi and friend to you and the rest of the Green Home survivors since you’d first gotten on that truck. A small crowd had gathered around after hearing the commotion and yells coming from the two of you before they all parted to allow Chief Ji in. When she saw you, her confused stare deepened to a glare but she ignored you in favor of transporting the brother you had just fought to the medical room. That was a hell of a day.
The inside of the bathroom was a regular locker room. Not surprising considering it was originally used for the players of the baseball team. The only difference was one of the walls was poorly rebuilt with rocks and bricks by Chief Ji and some of the stadium's residents after it was impacted by the missiles. 
Before you had started heading over to the bathroom, you had grabbed your small compact bag of hygiene supplies and brought it with you. Although toothpaste was hard to come by and you had to share the rations the soldiers found with your neighbors, you were able to find some on one of your days out. You brushed your teeth dry, not wanting to use any of the limited water on something like brushing your teeth. This had become something you were used to. 
Finally returning to your sleeping space, you didn’t bother changing out of the clothes you slept in and just decided to continue wearing them. The outfit was comfortable yet simple: a pair of oversized off-white sweatpants you had to manually make a drawstring for using a shoestring, and a short-sleeved dark blue shirt. Your shoes were the same ones you wore the first day this monsterization started. They were originally a pristine white you had tried your hardest not to taint, but now they were stained beyond repair from your adventures. You consider yourself lucky you had only bought them a week before the outbreak. They held up well throughout the year you’d spent with them as your sole pair of shoes. 
The morning announcement calling for roll call sounded through the silent air of the little enclosed unit you were lucky enough to be given.
Although luck may not have been the true cause. So many people were reluctant to be near you when they slept and complained enough times to the chief that she eventually just set you apart from the rest. Although it was lonely at times, you were thankful for the shred of privacy you had been granted. 
Once your shoes had been put on along with your sweater, you calmly walked down the hall toward the place where your assigned group met for roll calls. You arrived just in time to see Yeong-su slap away Jin-ok’s hand when she tried to pull him back from a soldier who was grinning meanly at him. You could see the built-up tears in the boy’s eyes that he desperately was trying to push away and rushed forward. Seeing the reasoning behind his tears, despite the consequences that you knew would ensue, you roughly pushed against the soldier’s back which sent him tumbling forward and his face met the ground floor with a sickening sound. You risked a glance to look back at Yeong-su and Jin-ok. Yeong-su’s arm was bleeding rapidly, seeming obvious that the soldier who cut him too deeply hit an artery. Hopefully, it wasn't a major one. The boy’s lip was quivering as he held back his tears. You could see all the emotions in his eyes: anger, frustration, helplessness, but mainly relief. Relief from you coming in to defend him. You quickly sent a look to Jin-ok and she immediately knew what you meant. She gently took Yeong-su’s hand and this time he didn’t resist as she led them both away from the scene and to their living quarters. 
You barely had time to let out a relieved smile before a fist was sent flying into your left cheek, sending your head snapping to the right and you falling back, only barely and painfully catching yourself with your elbows. You looked up at your assailant to see the officer who was tormenting Yeong-su standing above you. His nose was bleeding heavily and if you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought he was beginning the transition period to a monster. He wiped at his nose to no avail and sent you a heavy glare. He leaned down and roughly grabbed your arm, hauling you to your feet and pulling out his knife. You held eye contact even when the blade roughly slashed across your forearm, right over an already existing cut. You praised yourself internally on how you kept your face entirely neutral and how the soldier looked angry and disappointed at your lack of reaction.
You gave him a slight smirk as you held up your bleeding arm for his view, the blood gushing down and covering your bruised elbow. “Happy?” You questioned tauntingly and your smirk grew as you saw the man seething. Despite his intimidating height, you couldn’t help but think he looked like a cartoon character with the way you were sure steam would be bursting out of his ears at any second. When he made no further move to continue the fight, you swiftly turned around and walked out of the room, smiling when you heard him yell in frustration and throw something to the floor. The knife, you presumed. 
You didn’t bother visiting the doctor to help you treat your wounds as you wrapped a strap of clothing around it and called it a day. Any respect you had for him instantly flew down the drain when you caught him drinking the rubbing alcohol meant for treating wounds and acting immaturely all the time. You walked in the direction of the exit, making sure to not be spotted by any soldiers as you did. When you finally got there and pushed the door open, you let out a breath of relief. The moment you stepped out the door and into the clean air of the outdoors, you felt yourself relax a little more than before. You found it odd how you felt more relaxed outside of the safe haven the stadium provided but you couldn’t help yourself. In the outdoors, you felt free. You could think without hindrance and allow yourself to feel an emotion that wasn't complete and utter despair.
The ground crunched below your feet as you walked across the gravel towards the green grass fields. You had no objective or destination in mind for today, you just wanted to escape the oppressive hands of your 'superiors.'
Walking on light feet, still making sure to keep your head focused on the area around you in case a monster appeared, you found yourself standing in front of a building. There was nothing special about this building. Half of it wasn't even attached as it lay broken in shambles around the structure. The ladder leading to the roof was rusted and had some of the metal bars sticking out awkwardly. The building in total was relatively normal and in good shape compared to those around it.
The only special thing about this building was the memories that it spurred within your head. 
You climbed up the ladder, tears blocking your vision as they collected on your waterline despite your deepest efforts. You lost everyone. You lost Hyun-su; the boy you called home; the boy you called your soulmate; the boy you loved more than anyone or anything else. You lost Ji-su, the girl you decided you could call your best friend after spending so much time with her on the first floor of Green Home for those days at the beginning of this mess. You even lost Su-yeong, the little girl you’d grown so protective over… gone without a second thought. You never truly had Eun-yu so it wouldn’t hurt as much whether or not she had died. The only person you truly felt you had left was Yeong-su. You hated yourself for doing this to him but only having him wasn’t enough to stay anymore. 
You felt like you were drowning. You were unable to handle the constant feeling of your emotions overpowering you. You’d heard so many times that it got easier as time went on but you never thought you would be able to overcome this. Although it might have been fitting to end your life by drowning, you just wanted a quick and painless death.
Falling solved that for you. 
When you finally climbed the ladder to the roof of the building, you couldn’t help the sobs that wracked your body. You hopped up onto the edge of the building and looked up. The sky seemed to perfectly oppose how you were feeling. Soft, puffy white clouds were fluttering through the atmosphere and forming different shapes you could just barely make out. The tears slipped down the side of your face as you tried to gain some sort of peace before you followed through with your decision. 
The wind was a gentle, cool breeze across your damp cheeks as you stood and glanced across the beautiful terrain below you. The grass had just barely begun to grow out of its perfect and well-maintained state, but it was still a wonderful sight to see. There were flower gardens surrounding the tall building, some crushed brutally by the falling of the walls but most were left perfectly untouched and thriving in the new world. The sight made your body calm down, the tears cascading waterfalls of sorrow down your cheeks slowly coming to a stop. You’ve heard of the acceptance of death people have when they know they’re about to die. You’d never thought you would have to face that kind of acceptance, never really thought the way you’d die would be because the world had been cruel and gave you too much pain for you to handle. You never thought that yet there you were.
There you were, standing on the edge of the tallest building you could find, one foot raised and hovering over the edge and you giving one last smile to the world before having your other foot join it. 
The wind screamed in your ears and you swear you could hear voices within it. Voices calling your name. Voices that sounded too similar to one you’d lost. You let your eyes fall shut as memories flashed through your mind. Memories of reading to Su-yeong and Yeong-su; memories of playing the guitar and singing with Ji-su, laughter interrupting each word because you couldn’t take yourselves seriously; memories of Hyun-su. 
Memories of shaking his hand when you first met him after he moved in across the hall from you in Green Home. 
Memories of him coming to you crying for the first time and confessing how he couldn’t stand being alive anymore.
Memories of losing yourself in his eyes when he smiled at you.
Memories of his touch against your cheeks when he leaned in to leave a kiss against your forehead.
Memories of him.
A single tear drop fell from your eye and you smiled at the thought of meeting him again, whether that be in your next life or the one that comes after death. There was no doubt in your mind that he was gone, and that thought alone was more than half of your reasons for wanting to end it all. 
Just as you were sure you were about to hit the bottom, a strong yet lean arm wrapped around your body and gently set you down on the ground before retreating just as quickly as it had appeared. You shot your eyes open only to be left with the blue sky above you and the intense wind that breezed over your body as whatever it was that saved you disappeared. For a few moments, you couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t move, couldn’t blink, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything except stare in perplexment at the sky. As you sat up, you still couldn’t think straight and allowed your body to work on autopilot as it walked you home. 
It took a full week until you were finally able to come to terms with the fact that either you had imagined the whole thing or something - someone - had saved you.
A month after your first attempt, you tried again. You couldn’t handle the stares of disdain and hatred towards you after you had defended Eun-yu as others criticized her about her apparent murder of Chief Ji’s husband. Yet, just like the last time, you were saved miraculously last minute by that same strange force. 
You tried a dozen more times, all ending with the same result. It was so frustrating and you could barely handle the pain knowing you couldn’t even control your death, let alone your life.
The tears streamed down your face violently as you knelt and smacked your fists angrily against the wet, coarse dirt of where you were, once again, gently placed down after another failed attempt to end your life. The shredded noose hung limp around your neck and you ripped it off aggressively. You let out an agonizing scream from the deepest part of your lungs and it ended with more sobs as you let yourself fall onto your side with your knees pulled into your chest. Your loud sobs slowly quieted down but the tears never stopped falling. You stood up from the wet ground, your hair and clothes both stained by the mud below. Water rained down from the heavens, soaking your shirt and making it cling to your chest. Your tears blurred with the raindrops that splashed against you and slowly made their way down your face, disappearing down your neck and into the collar of your shirt. 
“Why are you doing this?” You yelled into the open air, receiving no answer. “Why? Why do you keep doing this? Why won’t you just let me die?” You choked on a sob at that last question and yet you still received no answer. Defeated, you decided to retreat back to the stadium and get cleaned up. When you returned, Jin-ok was the first to notice the bruising around your neck and your tired, puffy eyes. When she asked, you played dumb but you could tell she saw right through you. Luckily, she left it alone. 
You ended up curled up in your hammock for hours as you sobbed your heart out. 
Although the stadium might have been a better place to follow through with your plan, you refused to put your few remaining friends - if you could even really call them that - through that. Put them through the pain of seeing your dead body and knowing they might have been able to stop it. Even though you would be dead by then, you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. The only way you would allow yourself to follow through was outside of the stadium.
But a certain someone, or something, wouldn’t allow that to happen. 
That was the last time you tried to end your life.
You’d had many dangerous encounters since then but every time they would be cleared out by your guardian angel before you could even really call them a threat. It got to the point where you felt more safe outside the stadium compared to within its concrete walls.
Sighing, you averted your eyes from the building and walked around it, focusing instead on the plants that were just starting to bloom in the early spring. The breeze was a welcome chill that rose goosebumps along your arms. As you continued to walk, your mind blank and your feet destinationless as you wandered, you came across a large pool of water.
And a girl.
She was young, and couldn’t have been more than 5 years old. It was such a shock to see her there, especially all by herself, that you didn’t realize she was sinking until it was almost too late. Without a second of hesitation, you jumped right into the lake and swam as fast as you could towards her. Grabbing a hold of her hand, you pulled her along as you swam back up to the surface. You dragged her towards the edge of the earth where the stable ground met the water and laid her down. Lowering your head to her mouth, you tried to listen to her breathing but instead, you got a headbutt to the ear. She shot up and started coughing up water. You ignored how your ear stung at that moment and instead rubbed along her back while she breathed heavily. 
“Are you okay?” You asked her and she suddenly snapped her head towards you, like she didn’t recognize your presence until you spoke.
Slowly, she nodded. “Yes,” she hesitated before quietly asking, “Did you save me?”
You smiled at her shy mannerisms as she played with the hem of her wet and dirtied dress. “Yeah, I did.”
She looked up at you, almost surprised with your confession, and gave you a shy smile back. “Thank you,” she whispered before averting her eyes again.
You couldn’t stop the smile growing even brighter on your face at her adorableness. You looked around, seeing nobody else in sight. Your eyebrows furrowed as you began to worry about who she was and why nobody was taking care of her. “Are you alo-”
Just as you started to speak, a wet and slimy tentacle-like appendage wrapped itself around your torso and yanked you back into the lake. You thrashed around but couldn’t unravel yourself from the monster’s grip. You saw your knife float away and sink further down the dark abyss that was the bottom of the lake. With it, the last of your newfound hope to live followed. Just as you lost the last of the reserved air in your lungs, a sudden figure dove into the water and wrapped its arm around you. Just before your eyes fluttered shut, you swore you saw the blurry face of the same boy who haunted your dreams. The boy who haunted your nightmares.
The same boy who haunted your mind as you stuttered between the line separating life and death after surrendering to the lack of oxygen. 
“Hyun-su!”
You screamed as you saw the military take him away. You lay helplessly against the side of the crumbling Green Home building as the pain of moving around too much from your wounds caused you to be dead-weight in your spot. 
He let out a scream of agony that ended with your name and you felt your heart shatter. He was surrounded by multiple people; doctors, scientists, and soldiers alike. Each person’s face was surrounded by a strange darkness. The only thing you could make out of their faces were their evil, wide smiles, and their eyes tainted a demonic red. The sight made you feel even more helpless and despair-ridden than before.
You could do nothing but watch as the love of your life was taken from you without a second thought. 
Hyun-su gathered you in his human-form arm while the other, extended in his monstrous form, swung back and forth through the water to slice at the monstrous being that dared to harm you. He didn’t waste much more time under the water to fight the beast as he noticed your eyes had slipped shut and you weren’t releasing any more air bubbles. He surged upwards, his wing doing most of the work as he darted through the surface of the water and onto the solid ground near the same little girl you had saved before.
Lying you down on the ground gently, he lowered his head to your mouth to hear if you were breathing, cursing quietly when he realized you weren’t. It was at times like these that he thanked whatever deity existed that he allowed himself to be persuaded by his parents to be a lifeguard for a summer. That way, he learned and was certified in CPR. 
Plugging your nose, he administered two breaths into your mouth before pressing his - now both fully human - hands to your chest. Just as he prepared for the first chest compression, you suddenly started coughing and turned onto your side as you continued to cough up the water from your lungs. He was so thankful there wasn’t enough water in your lungs that he would’ve had to break your ribs giving you CPR. 
But he would choose broken ribs over a body that wasn’t breathing any day.
After coughing your lungs dry, you fell onto your back with your eyes closed as you took many deep breaths. Suddenly, you remembered the face you clearly remember saving you and shot up into a sitting position, your eyes wide and surprised. Your gaze immediately fell upon him.
Hyun-su.
You held your breath as your eyes met and you stared at each other for a few moments. Your hand hesitantly raised to reach out for him. His gaze didn’t stray from your own as you brought your hand to his face, a mix between a sigh and a sob leaving your throat as you felt the soft skin of his cheek touch your fingertips. He was wet and cold, but he was alive. A smile grew onto your face but it dropped just as Hyun-su’s began to form. You yanked your hand away as if his skin suddenly burned you, and it might as well have. You could see the hurt expression taking over his face but the feeling of the anger, betrayal, and grief flooding through your veins overpowered any feelings of remorse you might have felt. Taking a quick moment to look around for the child you saved, you let out a small sigh of relief when you saw her innocently watching the interaction between you and Hyun-su, breathing normally and sitting safe and sound on the grass.
“Take care of her for me, will you?” You asked him coldly, not waiting for an answer as you stood up and started speed walking in the opposite direction. 
“No, wa- wait!” He scrambled to stand up, calling after you as you ignored his advances. “Stop!” He finally caught up to you and wrapped his hand around your bicep gently, turning you around to face him. 
“What? What the fuck is so important that you finally feel the need to talk to me?” You let out a sob of a laugh as you ripped your arm away from him. You could slowly see the realization of why you were acting so angry and upset dawn on his face as guilt settled into his eyes. “You’ve gone this entire time being just fine as you save my life just to leave me there, alone, time and time again. So please - please - explain to me what is now so important you feel the need to reveal yourself to me.”
You looked at him expectantly as his mouth opened and closed, looking for an answer. He seemed to find it as he finally said, “I just… I really thought you died this time. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
You looked at him, frustrated, for a moment before harshly scrubbing your palms over your eyes which were tearing up against your will. “So… what, after all the times you saved me, now you want to check on my safety?” Taking a deep breath, you forced your face to look calm, masking your anger for his sake so you could get out of this situation with as little hindrance as possible. You dropped your hands to your sides, your tears smeared across your face leaving it in a shiny glow. “Well thank you, Hyun-su, for your consideration,” you spoke the last word with bitterness lacing your tone that you could tell he caught as he winced softly. “But I am fine.”
You turned around, fully intent on heading back to the stadium when his hand wrapped around your bicep again. “What?” You asked angrily and turned around only to be pulled into a tight hug. You didn’t waste time in fighting his grip but he was relentless. “Let me go!” You screamed at him, although it was muffled by his shirt. “You’re such an asshole! I fucking mourned for you! I built a fucking memorial and brought a flower every single week without fail and yet you were never fucking dead! Why did you keep letting me think you were dead?” You were now pounding your fists into his chest, no longer resisting his embrace but expressing the built-up anger, sadness, grief, and self-loathing you felt every single day. It all stemmed solely from the way you hated yourself for not trying harder to save him. Not trying harder to resist Eun-hyuk when he told you and Eun-yu he would bring him back. “Was it you? Was it you every time I was stopped? Every time I was in danger, it was you who saved me, wasn’t it? What gave you the fucking right?” The crying started again. In turn, your hits became less and less powerful with each strike along with your screams gradually quieting. “Why did you have to leave me?” You sobbed out and let your head fall onto his chest as he buried his face in your hair. Your hands clutched onto his t-shirt as if trying to anchor him to you, scared that if you let him go, he would disappear again. Your knees gave out, exhausted by the emotional turmoil washing over you from the last five minutes. And so soon after death caressed you on the cheek too. Hyun-su caught you and slowly lowered the two of you to the ground, never once breaking the embrace. 
You sat in silence, only broken by the sound of your sobs as they slowly subsided. When you settled down, you spoke once more. 
“Did you know I was in love with you?” You didn’t feel any physical reaction from him that would express what he was feeling in that moment so you continued. “I never stopped. Loving you, I mean. I don’t think I ever will, but god, I hate you so much right now.”
There were a few silent beats where the only sound you could hear was the sound of his heartbeat against your ear until he spoke. 
“I didn’t think I would be able to handle seeing you again and find you with this exact reaction. By the time I left the military’s grasp, I tried to find you but then I saw you on that ledge.”
It surprised you and calmed your nerves all the same. 
“I knew I was just being a coward but I thought too much time had passed for me to just show up. Today was just a bit different.” He leaned back a bit to look at you and you did the same. He gave a small smile when he saw you again, with your wet eyes and glistening cheeks you looked wonderful. Even after sobbing your heart out, you were still the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. “My love, I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you, and I never stopped either,” he leaned in slowly so your foreheads rested against each other and your noses brushed. “And if you need time to stop hating me, I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
You looked into his radiating brown eyes as the last tear slipped from your own before bringing a hand up to cup his cheek once again. You let out a small laugh which he returned with an adoring smile. Leaning in, you pressed your lips against his in a soft, unhurried kiss. He slid a hand up from where it was pulling you into his embrace to rest against the back of your neck as he held you against him. When the both of you were smiling too much to continue the kiss, you leaned back just enough to stare into each other’s eyes. The adoration and love you had for each other would be clear for anyone to see from the way you gazed at each other.
You suddenly pushed forward and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close and hugging him once more. He sat still for a moment as he processed what you did only to wrap his arms around your waist. He hugged you just as tight and with just as much desperation as you did.
“God, I missed you so much,” you whispered into his ear and he sighed shakily into the spot where his face was buried in your neck. 
“I missed you too, so much. I’m so sorry for not coming back sooner.”
“Well, you’re here now, and that’s all that matters to me,” you reassured him and he physically relaxed, his shoulders untensing and him falling further into your embrace. 
The sound of the soft pattering of footsteps interrupted the moment you two were sharing. However, it was entirely welcome when you saw the little girl you had saved before standing beside you. You pulled away from Hyun-su, but not too far as he grabbed onto one of your hands. You smiled at him slightly, he was obviously just as starved of your touch as you were his.
“Hi there,” you told her gently when you turned back to her, not wanting to scare her in any way. “What’s your name?”
She looked down shyly, not answering until Hyun-su reached out to her with his hand. “It’s okay, she’s a good one,” he reassured her as he brushed some stray wet strands of her pin-straight black hair out of her face when her small hands were unable to. He took her hand and gently pulled her closer to the two of you. It made you smile as you saw them interact. The caring and soft way Hyun-su acted with her reminded you so much of a father interacting with his daughter.
It just made you love him even more.
He gave her one more nod of reassurance before she timidly introduced herself.
“M-my name is Ah-yi,” she stuttered out and you silently cooed at her adorable little shy smile. “Thank you for saving me, Miss.”
“Of course, Ah-yi, you are very welcome,” you gave her your own smile and some of her shyness seemed to fade away. You then gave her your name and she visibly brightened up. 
“You’re the princess!” You gave her a confused smile with a small laugh as she then began to explain. “Oppa’s told me stories about you! How you’re the princess of the big green castle and how he was a knight in shining armor who was saved by you, the warrior princess!” She talked animatedly with her hands swinging around wildly and her chest puffing out at the end to make her seem stronger. Your lips formed a big smile as you looked over at Hyun-su to see him lightly glaring at Ah-yi with a big blush coating his cheeks. 
“Ah, so you’ve told stories about me, have you?” You teased him and he looked at you before rolling his eyes. 
“Shut up,” he mumbled and you yelped as he yanked on your hand, sending you falling onto his chest with a loud laugh. 
You talked a bit more with Ah-yi, somehow ending with her laying her head in your lap as you leaned against Hyun-su with your back to his chest. The three of you watched the clouds, pointing out any shapes you could find and making up stories that Ah-yi seemed to love. Every time you looked over at Hyun-su, you could see all of his attention focused on you and how you interacted with the small child. 
Time seemed to fly as eventually, the sun started to fade into the distance, only leaving splotches of light shining through the leaves of the tall trees surrounding you. All three of you stood up and you glanced in the direction of the stadium with sad eyes. You couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Hyun-su yet. Even the thought of leaving the small girl you had grown strongly attached to in the past few hours broke your heart. Hyun-su seemed to sense your hesitation as he grabbed your hand. 
You looked back at him and he looked at you so fondly you felt like your heart might burst. With his thumb gently caressing your knuckles, he looked you in the eyes and said, “Stay. Stay with me. With us. You don’t have to go yet.”
He seemed just as desperate to make up for lost time with you as you were with him. His eyes widened and that smile you loved so dearly formed on his face when you nodded with little thought put into the decision. Pulling you closer with his arm circling your shoulders and one of yours circling his waist while the other hand reached out for Ah-yi to grab. She practically leaped at the opportunity.
“You ready, princess?” Hyun-su asked you in a soft teasing voice and you looked up at him with the same passionate smile gracing your lips. 
“Lead the way, my shining knight.”
~~~
Pt 2: Floating Above Those Dark Skies :)
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hypnos333 · 5 months
Text
Your Forever
Cha Hyun-su x reader
Synopsis: Hyun-soo didn’t know what home really was until he met her
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He admires her as she smiles happily chatting away as she cooks dinner. He wanted to die, he couldn’t help the feeling either. But when he sees her smile all those thoughts go away.
You were always positive and happy even when things went downhill he would always see your comfort. He would wonder if you even get sad. When they first moved in Green Home Mansion Apartment.
She made it look like home if he lived alone he would’ve always eat Ramen and leave the place as it is. You made everything better.
He would remember the little dances you guys would do together in the living room or how you’ll always run your hands through his hair. Most times he’ll force your hand through his hair making you do it automatically.
Later that night before you know it, You were on his lap with his hands gripping your waist as you were making out with him. He needed to be inside you so he unzipped his pants before pulling off all the fabric and clothing off you.
You were already wet so he just slip in making you moan his name. He loved your sweet moans, He groaned as he continues to thrust into you. Until he came into you after you came.
A week went by and you been throwing up without Hyunsu knowledge. You knew you were pregnant so you avoided making meat for a couple of days.
Until everything went to shit when humans started to turn into monsters.
Your pregnant stomach was slightly showing but with Hyunsu clothes it was easy to hide. When you both went to save the kids the steroid monster came making you run off with the kids.
When the monster escaped hyunsu and was about to kill the kids a lady you didn’t recognize appeared.
“Don’t hurt the kids nor this pregnant young lady” A woman said getting in front of her with a stroller. You were shocked on how she knew, “Madam please let’s run” You said scared out of your mind while holding the two whimpering kids.
That was until Hyunsu showed up with two other people, as he carried the young boy and you held the young girl hand making it to the old man room.
He pulled you and you knew where this was going. “___ Your pregnant? Why didn’t you say anything? I could’ve been with you instead of fighting” Hyunsu asked angry and sad about knowing last minute making you tear up.
“I was scared you weren’t want it, and I was gonna tell you until all this went to shit” You mumbled making Hyunsu hugged you tight before he bend down to feel your stomach.
“This is our forever huh?” he said making you hummed in agreement.
“They’re definitely gonna be our forever” you confirmed making hyunsu chuckle for the first time in hours.
“We’re going to get through this, i’ll do anything to keep you and this baby safe” He said promising himself and to you.
“I hope so” You said kissing his lips before putting your foreheads together.
If it was a girl you’ll name her Sunhye and for boy you’ll name him Taehoon. You thought long and hard about these names but you wanted to name them that because Sunhye was her mom middle name and Taehoon was because it was something unique for her.
You both held your stomach hoping this will just end and that the baby would be born in a happy world but they know that’s not possible.
Part 2
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sweetvoidstuff · 4 months
Text
Chain the change
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Cha Hyun Su x Reader
Summary: Tensions rise as Green Home votes to evict Hyun Su.
Autors Note:I haven't written stories in quite a while, but I have the desire to pick it up again. English isn't my native language, so I welcome any constructive criticism. Particulary with the titel.
the next part, kinda
Masterlist
~~~~~
The tense atmosphere in the room was palpable as the tenants of Green Home Apartment gathered for the crucial vote. Whispers of uncertainty echoed, and the weight of judgment hung heavy on your shoulder. Demending on this vote Hyun Su would be thrown out or even worse.
Mister Kim's sudden outburst shook the room, his face contorted with rage as he screamed at the other tenants to rid themselves of Cha Hyun Su. The atmosphere, already tense, reached a fever pitch as fear and confusion spread like wildfire. Whispers of disbelief and unease swept through the gathered crowd.
Amidst the chaos, Hyun Su stood at the end of the room, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief, trying to comprehend the gravity of the situation. Mister Kim continued his fervent tirade, demanding that they take matters into their own hands. "We can't let him ruin our lives! We have to get rid of him now or he will turn and kill us all!" he bellowed, his voice echoing in the confined space. Hyun Su, the center of this storm, stood amidst the turmoil, his eyes wide with disbelief and fear. The room held its breath as the realization of the severity of the situation dawned on everyone. Hyun Su struggled to find words to defend himself, caught between the accusations and the impending decision that could change his life.
It was in this moment of tension that you, a bystander until now, felt compelled to speak up. Amidst the chaos, you stepped forward, breaking the silence with a declaration that sent ripples through the room. Standing firm, you declared, "If you're going to throw him out, then I'm leaving with him." The room fell silent, all eyes turning toward you. Your statement hung in the air, a challenge to the collective judgment of the tenants.
The gravity of your words added a new layer to the already charged atmosphere. The tension in the room transformed into a palpable conflict of emotions—fear, anger, and uncertainty mixing together. The decision now rested not only on Cha Hyun Su's fate but on the willingness of the community to confront the consequences of their actions. Not just one, but two lives on the line.
Hyun Su, taken aback by your unexpected stance, tried to interject. "This is unreasonable," in a hushed wisper he argued, concern etched across his face. "What if I turn? What if i become a monster and hurt you?"
Your response was unwavering. "If you're a monster, then all of us are. Listen to what they say, what they are willing to do!," you proclaimed, your words echoing with defiance. "I'll stay with you till the end, whether that's until you fully turn or if it costs me my life. I won't abandon you." Hyun Su, torn between gratitude and concern, tried to reached out to you.
The room erupted into chaos, the revelation sparking heated debates among the tenants. Some questioned the logic of such a decision, while others began to grapple with the profound loyalty you displayed. Mister Kim's hostility turned towards you, his anger now directed at anyone who dared to oppose his extreme proposal. He advanced, his face contorted with rage, but before the situation could escalate further, Hyun Su stepped between you and Mister Kim. The room held its breath, the confrontation reaching a critical point.
At this moment blood began to trickle from Mister Kims nose. First slow but soon a stream of blood ran down his shirt. The room fell into a hushed symphony of gasps, the ominous precursor to a transformation. Eun Hyeok, attempting to calm the panicked crowd, pleaded for reason, but the tenants, gripped by fear, were hesitant to listen.
Hyun Su's own monster stirred, responding to the threat. His eyes turned black, his voice, now laced with a dark undertone, with a smirk he questioned, "I have a question. Am I allowed to vote? If I go, Mister Kim has to go with me, right?"
Eun Hyeok, sensing an opportunity for reason, interjected, "You don't have to do this. Quarantine might be the best option here. For both of them."
Eun Hyeok, taking charge in the midst of the chaos, directed the tenants to assist in quarantining both Hyun Su and Mister Kim. The room shifted from pandemonium to a controlled frenzy as the tenants reluctantly followed Eun Hyeok's instructions.
Hyun Su and you walked side by side towards the makeshift quarantine room. You felt a strong urge to comfort Hyun Su but hesitated, mindful of the other tenants surrounding you. Instead, you decided to take his hand, a silent gesture that spoke volumes. Your fingers gently intertwined with his, and Hyun Su's initial surprise was evident on his face. However, as the warmth of your hand enveloped his, the surprise transformed into a grateful acknowledgment. In the midst of uncertainty, your touch became a lifeline, a tangible reassurance that he wasn't facing this ordeal alone.
As you entered the room, a mix of trepidation and gratitude painted Hyun Su's expression. The solidarity you showed, both in words and actions, had not gone unnoticed.
Gently squeezing his hand once more, you whispered words of comfort, "We face it together, Hyun Su. I'll be back with food later. We'll get through this." Hyun Su nodded, his eyes expressing a blend of gratitude and relief.
Inside the quarantine room, the air felt heavy with the anticipation of Mister Kims transformation and maybe even Hyun Su's that loomed ahead.
Inside the quarantine room, you maintained your grip on Hyun Su's hand until the last possible moment before reluctantly letting go. Your eyes conveyed a silent promise: I'll be back. Hyun Su nodded, gratitude and understanding mirrored in his gaze. You reluctantly released Hyun Su's hand, a sense of reluctance evident in your eyes. "Take care of yourself in there," you said, your voice soft but filled with genuine concern.
Hyun Su managed a small, appreciative smile. "Thank you. " I never expected someone to stand by me like this.
With a final reassuring glance, you left the quarantine room, the makeshift door closing behind you. The hallway outside seemed quieter, the echoes of the recent tumult still lingering in the air. As you stepped back into the hallway, the door closing behind you, the weight of the decision lingered. The small act of holding Hyun Su's hand, you couldn't shake the weight of the decision made and the potential consequences it held for both Hyun Su and the community.
Meanwhile, inside the quarantine room, Hyun Su took a deep breath, a mix of emotions swirling within him. Gratitude overwhelmed him for your unwavering support, and hope flickered in his eyes as he prepared to face the challenges ahead. The makeshift quarantine became a refuge, a space where the unknown awaited.
Back in the hallway, the other tenants exchanged glances, a shared uncertainty written on their faces. The community was at a crossroads, and the decisions made in the coming days would shape the fate of Green Home Apartment.
As you ventured away from the quarantine room, the weight of your commitment lingered. The promise of bringing food later held a sense of normalcy in the midst of chaos, a reminder that even in uncertain times, small gestures of kindness could make a difference. The journey ahead remained uncertain, but for now, Hyun Su found solace in the fact that someone had chosen to stand by him, reach out to him, in his time of need.
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thinemoonshine · 3 months
Text
𓆰𝓅𝑒𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓈 𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓊𝓇𝑒 ♡𓆪
cha hyun su x female reader genre: romance, slightly mature (suggestive themes) type: series (but can be read as a oneshot) word count: 1,921
part 2 of series ◄◄ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ part 4 of series
౨ৎ ⋆。˚ synopsis: after the old man, seok hyun, had turned into a complete monster and was killed by the hands of his own wife, the atmosphere in green home has grown more tense- more so towards the other known infected, cha hyun su. meanwhile, hyun su has his own battle to fight; that is against his monster and its persistent trials to break through its enclosure within hyun su. unfortunately for him, his monster's grown impatient for freedom- and (y/n) just so happens to be around ౨ৎ ⋆。˚
'It's annoying, isn't it? To hear me pester you all day and night like this. Why not just... let me free?' Cha Hyun Su's monster tempts him with a tune that it appears to be more of a mockery than it is persuasion.
The poor owner of the body clutches his bag tighter against his chest as he tries to sleep on the now unoccupied couch. He didn't want to lie on it- but if a better cushion will help him sleep faster and rid off the voice in his head then he'll take it.
He's curled like a hook, desperate for rest and cease the unending taunts. And gradually, he does get it thanks to the relentless missions Eunhyuk sends him on. Maybe it's because he got upset when he discovered that (y/n) tailed after Hyun Su on a mission once and the latter didn't bother to tell, or that the latest incident struck a nerve in Eunhyuk but recently, he's been more irritable.
Time passes and soon, it's morning once more. Hyun Su feels just slightly better than before after some forced sleep but it's better than nothing. Besides, the monster's quiet now.
"You can't."
He turns to the door at the faint sound of Eunhyuk's voice. Slowly, he approaches it before pausing when he sees him with (y/n) a few large steps away down the corridor leading towards him. Hyun Su sneakily presses himself against the wall and observes the pair as much as he can from his hidden angle.
"Why not?" (y/n) argues with an evident glare on her face.
Eunhyuk, with his arms crossed and unchanging expression, sighs. "Because you broke the rules. You weren't supposed to join on the mission."
"Yeah, but that's a mission. This is just to visit him in the quarantine room like I always do. Why is it suddenly a forbidden thing to do??" She retorts and crosses her arms, mimicking him as if it will shift the power between them.
But of course, it doesn't and Eunhyuk only furrows. Once again, irritated. "What if he changes when you're in there? What are you gonna do then?"
"I'll run out?? Besides, he's not going to change. He hasn't been getting nosebleeds and even if he does transform suddenly, he could be a non-violent monster like the old man," (y/n) tries to convince the other but obviously, he's got a barrier taller than The Great Wall of China.
"Theories are just theories," he says sternly before swiveling and walking down the corridor to the other direction.
(y/n) stabs daggers at his furthering back. "I'm breaking the lock."
"Have fun."
And he disappears into a room.
The girl sighs exasperatedly before slumping against the wall that faces the quarantine room. Of course she can't break the lock. If she does, everyone's just going to get more anxious and the bad image Hyun Su already has might turn worse.
She lifts his head up and is met with surprise at the sight of Hyun Su gripping onto the bars of the little rectangle opening at the top half of his metal door- dark, round eyes fixed onto her as his cheeks touch the cold cylinders he holds. "Hyun Su... What are you doing?"
Her gentle cadence and smile are vastly different from how she was with Eunhyuk. Clearly, she has a favourite. And Hyun Su loves knowing that.
"I'm...watching," Hyun Su answers slowly.
A small titter escapes her as she closes the distance between them. "That's creepy."
She now stands just a step away from the door as she looks up at him with a dispirited expression. "I don't think I can come in anymore. Eunhyuk's become more strict and he's using the people to back him up. All I can do is just accompany you from out here."
Hyun Su lets his eyes roam on her face and a small smile graces his own as he slowly lets go of the bar and reaches his hand out. (y/n)'s brows raise at the unforeseen behaviour from him and obviously, gives in.
Her hands rests onto his palm which he then curls, clasping hers in his and intertwining their fingers. The girl gulps, flustered and abashed at the sudden skinship, oblivious to his own feelings that can be seen from the red tips of his ears.
"It's okay. This is enough," is what he says and indulges in watching her trying to 'play it cool' by avoiding any eye contact and doing a subtle shuffle. She's adorable.
'She sure is,' a voice echoes inside and Hyun Su's quickly alert. 'Wah... What you feel for her is just so sweet, it's sickening.'
Hyun Su's fingers tighten ever so slightly around hers as he tries to push it away. 'Go away.'
'I can't. Unless you've forgotten, I'm inside your head,' the voice snickers and Hyun Su's heartbeat quickens from annoyance and yet, fear. It's not supposed to come out- not when he's with (y/n). 'And I'm getting awfully impatient.'
His words confuse Hyun Su. 'Impatient? Wha—'
And suddenly, everything turns pitch black.
The abrupt drop of his head causes his forehead to crash against the bars and (y/n) worries for his wellbeing.
"Hyun Su! What's wrong?" She gasps. "You haven't eaten today, have you? Let me get you something."
She turns to leave but the tight hold he has around her hand tugs her back and she nears the rectangular opening, still seeing him with his head down against it.
"No... Don't go..." He then, whimpers, and the fragility in his voice stirs her into a panic.
"Hyun Su," (y/n) softly says his name again and reaches her other hand between the bars- searching for his face to pull it up.
Her palm cups his cheek and he shudders at her touch. A small whisper of her name leaves him as she lifts his face up.
Her eyes flicker between his own closed ones, troubled at his unsolvable pain that causes him to react the way he is. "What's wrong?"
In contrary to her expectations however, Hyun Su nuzzles against her hand- rubbing his face against her palm before he presses his own hand on top.
"Hyun Su has such strong will... I could never," he says and despite using the same exact voice, he sounds too different from the Hyun Su she knows. But what even is she trying to say? Hyun Su isn't Hyun Su?
Everything's too puzzling- especially when he pulls her by the wrist, causing her to collide with the door and her face against the bars.
"Hyun Su, what are you do—"
"I'm lonely," he speaks pitifully and this more familiar tone of voice calms (y/n)'s nerves as she pulls away slightly to look at him who's still keeping her hand against his cheek. 'His eyes...'
"Look at me," she says.
Hyun Su tilts his head into her palm again- the sad, sympathetic expression now shifting to a cocky, devious smirk as his lids open to reveal his black eyes.
No gentle dark browns, just pure abyss.
"You caught me. I knew you wouldn't have wanted me if I were to show myself," monster Hyun Su chuckles and erases the gap between them, now face to face with her.
(y/n) scoffs after quickly concluding that this must be the monster inside Hyun Su. "Want you? Why would you even consider that?"
She yanks her hand back but is swiftly captured by his- now gripping it with more force which makes it impossible to budge.
"Because you want him," he confidently declares and (y/n) feels her heart skip a beat. 'He knows. How does he know?' "At least, that's what I observe... Not that this weakling would ever consider it."
"What do you mean?" Her curiosity gets the best of her. 'Hyun Su would never consider it? Why? Is it really one sided? All this time?'
She's unnerved. He can see it from her expression that's almost begging him to assuage her anxiety, the questions in her head. He grins as his head angles upwards slightly and gosh— (y/n) will be lying if she says she doesn't feel a flutter in her stomach.
"Calm down. He likes you too... maybe a little too much. He thinks he doesn't deserve you, thinks you're better off with someone 'normal' who won't threaten your life," the monster scoffs as if finding the whole thing hilarious. "And yet, just one touch from you and he's tingling all over- craving for more like you're his oasis in the desert."
(y/n) says nothing- no, can't say anything. She's rendered speechless by this sudden, shocking information that she's having a hard time believing. Never once did Hyun Su ask for her affection, and even if he does reach out to her, it'll be momentary; comes and goes in a blink.
An abrupt warmth on her hand makes her jump before seeing Hyun Su kissing it. He plants his lips on the back of her hands, her knuckles, her palm before sliding up her arm to her face- unlatching his other hand from the bar to hold her chin.
He smiles beguilingly as he watches her weigh the voices of her brain and heart, enjoying her panic. "This is what Hyun Su wants. What I'm doing... this is all by him. But I'll be lying if I said I'm not indulging myself either."
"He...wants this?" (y/n) echoes and she can almost hear her sense of rationality and logic shrieking at her for irresponsibly choosing to communicate with a monster.
"Oh, yes," he slurs as his tongue darts out to wet his lip and brings her face closer- his eyes shifting between hers before down at her lips and back up. "So, so much, it wrecks him inside. He feels secure with you, comfortable, happier than ever, but at the same time you taunt him so much with your sweetness that it's venomous. But I like you because of that. Makes it easier to tamper with his mind."
His confession fills (y/n) with dread. All this time... has she been only making things harder for Hyun Su? He's been on war with himself for so long- and she's only adding fire to it.
"Don't worry too much, though. Because without you, he would've been long..." Hyun Su trails off as his eyes trail to her mouth and his thumb brushes over her bottom lip. "Gone."
He pushes his finger in slightly, touching her tongue- making her bite down from surprise and a low groan escapes him at the pain. A pain much too good to actually hurt.
Monster Hyun Su smirks as a scoff sounds from him once more at her immediate retraction and he grips her chin to yank her close.
"You temptress," he hisses before his eyes roll back and eyelids shut. His figure limps and he crashes onto the cold floor of the quarantine room.
copyright © 2024 thinemoonshine all rights reserved
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Stray kids hanahaki disease I don't care if reader has it or if the boys have it and I don't care if it is pure angst or angst and fluff just hanahaki disease I beg of you
《masterlist》
Pairing: Hyunjin x gn!reader
Disclaimer: 2,4k words mention of food, kisses usual author's notetell me if I missed anything else please!
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His hanahaki disease
Hyunjin sighed one last time and neatly closed the envelope with your address on it. He slipped it into the post office’s red sender box, then the boy spun around and returned to his dorm with a heavy heart. He knew that it would take over a week before the mailman dropped the letter into your mailbox, but still, he preferred that, to giving it to you himself.
On his way home he was thinking about ways he could give you more hints about his intentions. He didn’t know if he was just too subtle with them or you don’t have any interest in him, and he hated the feeling of not knowing things, so he wrote a letter about his feelings and just everything that came to his mind about his crush. He needs to start taking action now, so to encourage that he made this letter to make him confess sooner or later.
Stepping into the dorm with an unusual small pout which didn’t go unnoticed by his friends.
Jisung was the first one to see him arrive and immediately knew what the pout could be about. He stood up and went over to his friend. Hyunjin pulled him into a hug as soon as he noticed Han.
The younger sympathetically rubbed his back. “Y/n?” Jisung asked. Hyunjin just nodded and with one last squeeze, he let go of his dongsaeng and sighed. “I need to pull myself together because at this point I'm just overreacting this whole situation…my mind has been occupied by them for a long time and I feel like it's just killing me now…” “I wouldn’t say you're overreacting, but yeah, you’ve been pining after them for at least two years now and that's a long time.” Jisung smiled sadly at Hyune. “Soon you’ll be coughing up flowers like the people in Minho hyung’s manga, if you don’t do something about this, Hyung.” At that, the other scoffed and smiled lightly. Jisung could always lighten the mood up at least a little bit. “I told you about my ‘last try letter’, no?” Although Jisung was a bit confused at first he nodded. “Well, I just dropped it off at the post office.” Han nodded understandingly and patted Hyunjin’s shoulder in a manner of comfort.
Later that day the others decided to go out for kbbq and bowling because they had tomorrow off and wanted to be with each other. Hyunjin was glad they had a small break, even if it was just a day because he could spend some quality time with his members.
Chan drove their part of the dorm to the restaurant while Minho did the same to his flatmates. They gathered around their reserved table and it didn't take long for one of them to notice that the table was set for nine people, not eight.
“Hey Jeonginah! You were the one who called in to make the reservation right?” Changbin asked, confused and his bandmate nodded his head. “Did you say table for nine people?” At that the maknae's mouth made an ‘o’ shape. “Oh yeah I invited y/n because we haven't seen them in a while and I thought you guys would enjoy the plus company! They're gonna be a bit late though.” Jeongin said cheerfully and everyone smiled at the mention of your name except him. Hyunjin choked on his own saliva a bit and mentally prepared himself to see you.
It's not that he doesn't wanna be with you, not at all! He loves spending time with you, but in the last couple of days he'd been overwhelmed with his feelings and thoughts about you. Him not knowing in advance that he's going to see you after a week made him anxious. Although the thought of being around you makes his heart beat a lot faster, it's also filled with warmth.
His train of thoughts had been cut off when the boys around him all stood up and happily started greeting you. The sight immediately brought a smile to his face and he stood up as well to greet you.
The only open space was directly in front of Hyunjin, next to Jeongin and Lino. You sat down with a big smile that Hyune couldn't help but reciprocate.
Thanks to the amount of soju he has chugged,he was much more bold and flirty the whole night.
He did things like, he picked out the best-looking meat and put it on the grill and cooked it as well as his cooking abilities let him and then put it on your plate telling you he cooked it for you and that he wants you to rate his cooking. He was absolutely ecstatic when you told him that it was really really nice and of course he made more for you!
He was also pouting and sulky when Lino made a joke that caused everyone to laugh very hard, but he didn't laugh anymore when he noticed how you were clinging to Minho and slightly hitting him while laughing while Lino had to put an arm around your waist because you would have fallen off your seat. All he saw was his hyung trying to steal his crush.
After Chan insisted on paying for you and the boys’ dinner, even though you begged him to stop spending money on you, you all went to the bowling alley part of the restaurant and rented two lanes. Everyone ordered drinks again and you started the games.
You split into two teams:Chan, Jeongin, Seungmin and Hyunjin. The other team was: Minho, Jisung, Changbin and Felix.
You didn’t play because your wrist has been hurting for a long time now and you didn't want to make it worse, but you had just as much fun watching the boys as they did while playing!
Still trying hard, Hyunjin looked at you with a confident smile. “This one's for you y/nah!” If you hadn't been so oblivious of the boy's intentions, you would have seen the heart eyes he was sending to you. After that confident statement, he chucked his ball into the gutters which resulted in hyena-like laughter from the others. Doing the walk of shame back to the sofa you were sitting on, not giving any fucks anymore, he sat down next to you and put his head on your shoulder, cuddling into your side. He sighed big and loud and hugged your torso. “It was supposed to be an epic strike y/nah I'm sorry.” He mumbled devastated. You just smiled down at him chuckling, and rubbed his back. “Hey don't be sad about it! It's going to be your turn soon after Seungmin again and you can have another try!” You tried to comfort him. He looked up at you and nodded, encouraged by your words he stood up and prepared himself to show you a good one this time.
After Seungmin's bad turn, Hyunjin picked up a ball (unintentionally being your favourite colour) he looked at you once again, took a deep breath and swung his ball into the direction of the pins. The ball landed on the lane perfectly and knocked all of them down beautifully!
You jumped up from your seat happily and Hyunjin quickly ran to you to celebrate, hugging you and jumping up and down with you. What you didn't expect was for Hyune to suddenly stop and look at you with an expression you haven't seen before. Shyly smiles at you and leans down to connect your lips. You were so taken aback you didn't even realise you were kissing him back.
It was such a soft kiss and such an unexpected action that you forgot that your friends were all in the same room.
After he pulled away, his eyes grew wide and he quickly ran away to the direction of the toilet.
“Finally!” Jisung said loudly and ran over to you happily. On the other hand you still haven't processed what just happened.
“Y/nah are you alright?” Lix came over to you and rubbed your back to ground you. “Y-yeah I'm alright I'm just shocked he did that.” “Is it a bad shock or a good shock?” Felix asked back, concerned. “I think it's a good shock!” You said after a bit and smiled up at your friend. “But can you please check up on Hyune?” You asked, realising that he wasn't around you anymore. “Of course, stay here and gather your thoughts and feelings while I get him!” You nodded to him and sat down while he ran off the same direction Hyunjin did.
You looked over to see what the others were up to and saw Chan already staring at you with a worried face. He held up his thumb in a way to ask if everything's okay. You smiled back softly and held up your thumbs as well. You saw the relieved smile on his face before he went back to make his turn.
As you were zoning out, looking at the others goofing around, your brain started to realise what just really happened. You never thought of Hyunjin as more than a friend, but thinking about it now you didn't feel disgusted about the kiss, hell you enjoyed it a lot!! It was so sweet and caring but passionate at the same. You wanted to experience that again!
Just as you slowly came to the conclusion that you actually really liked and enjoyed the idea of Hyunjin liking you and him being your boyfriend, he and Felix came out of the washroom. The younger whispered something in his ear and smiled at him, he left him alone to make his way to you while Lix went back to his team.
Even though both of you were tipsy you could still see how nervous Hyunjin was as he was walking towards you. Your heart started to beat faster the closer he got.
When he made it to the sofa he sat down silently stealing glances at you. Bit of an awkward silence was created,but it didn't last long.
“Y/nah-” “Jinnie-” You both started to talk at the same time, which made you laugh and that made him feel a bit more at ease to see that you're okay. “Go first, Jinnie.” You suggested and looked at him softly, encouraged him. He took a deep breath and scooted closer to you.
“Okay um first of all I wanted to say how sorry I am for what happened and for um doing it without your consent and just the whole situation was very much not how I had planned…” He looked down feeling ashamed by saying this out loud. “Do you regret it?” Was all you asked. He looked up at you and started deeply into your eyes. You could basically see all his thoughts and hesitation flying around. “I'd lie if I said I did…honestly it's not the kiss itself that I regret, but rather how I had done it.” He says and looks at you with the eyes of a kicked puppy. “That's good then because I don't regret it at all…if I can tell this to you I liked it a lot.” You answer him with rosy cheeks and a shy smile. He took your hand and caressed the back of it softly. “Yeah? I'm happy if you're okay with it!!” He smiled at you sweetly. “Although I wasn't expecting it, like at all, but it was a pleasant surprise! What confuses me though, is that I don't know if it was just a drunken mistake or if you…actually like me.” You chuckled nervously, feeling embarrassed. “What?? I thought it was very obvious that I like you and have been liking you for a long while now…I just believed that you didn't reciprocate the feeling and didn't want to confront me about it, because you didn't want to make things uncomfortable or awkward between us…” Hyunjin looked away from you but then looked right back when you squeezed his hand.
“Although I didn't really realise that I like you more than just a friend ‘till now, I wasn't aware of your feelings Jinnie, I thought you were just touchy with me and stuff like that because you got as comfortable around me as around the others, I'm sorry.” You tell him the truth while holding his hands tighter. “Y/nah you shouldn't be apologising! But does that mean that you like me back…?” “Honestly yes! I'm a bit overwhelmed with emotions right now, but I can truly say that I like you Jinnie…a lot to be honest.” You confess sheepishly to him.
“Soo if I were to ask you out on a date, then you would say yes?” “Oh my! Yeah definitely!!” You answered him happily and he hugged you tight, but this time it was just a cheerful peck on the lips.
A bit more than a week later you invited Jinnie to your flat. Even though both of you were exhausted you still wanted to spend time with each other and just relax.
So that's why you two were cuddled up on the couch watching Friends because apparently he hasn't seen it! There was a scene involving a post office that reminded you of something. You chuckled about it looking up at your now boyfriend, waiting for him to notice you staring. “What is it, love?” He asks, looking at you all lovey dovey. “You know this scene reminded me that there was a letter in my mailbox this morning.” You smile at him cheekily.
You could literally see the gears shifting in his head, then comes the realisation. Eyes wide as his ears and cheek turns to a soft pink shade. “Oh my god, I totally forgot about that…” He replies, facepalming. “It was such a cute way to start my day!” You coo about his little confession letter. “Gosh it's so embarrassing now!” He whines and hides his face in the crook of your neck. “Nooo Jinnie! It was very sweet and it doesn't matter because we're together now aren't we?.” You smile at him softly and when he lifts up his head he gives you a soft kiss.
A kiss that could tell you how grateful he is to have you, to be able to call you his and for him to be yours.
You might be going too fast, but you can already feel yourself falling in love with him.
A/n: Hi guys!! I hope this was good and you enjoyed it! I hope you liked it @kaiyaba and thank you for requesting!! I was surprised how much I wrote, this was the most I've written ever I think but I really liked it!! I hope you guys like it too and if you do please give me feedbacks because it motivates me a lot!<3
Also if you have any ideas please do request because I need them a lot!!!
Be safe and take care of yourself please!🫂❤️‍🩹
Taglist:@justwonder113 @ihrtlix @mon2sunjinsuver (if you want to get added/removed comment or write in asks)
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teriri-sayes · 7 months
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Reactions to Deal Maker's Chapter 201
TL;DR - Cale gives gifts to the kids. Learns about On and Lily's academy plans. Clopeh offers his sword to Cale. Cale is troubled on how to explain Ahn Roh Man's weeb and gaming terms.
Santa Cale It was the new year already when Cale returned from the Central Plains, so following Korean custom (of the author), everyone turned one year older. Thus, Cale congratulated the three children who were now average ten year olds. 🥰
For the gifts:
Hong - 5 of the 9 treasure poisons of the Tang Clan. It was originally supposed to be 3, but the Tang Clan increased it to 5 to thank their benefactor after Cale's miracle in Hainan Island
On - 30 items he got from the GED, like daggers, elixirs, and so on.
Cale gave something to Sheritt too, but it was not mentioned. As for Raon, he brought a basket of sweets and still-steaming hot dumplings for the kittens and his mom. The author is projecting her dumpling obsession on Raon... 🤣🤣🤣
Academy Arc Because On turned 13, Cale thought of sending her to the academy to gain more life experiences and meet more peers. He thought the wolf children were not enough. But he found out from On and Ron that On had already made plans to attend.
Cale also recalled his younger sister Lily. Ron said that Lily would be attending the academy too, but in a higher grade because she wanted to study military science. Of course, Cale was supportive of Lily's decision. 🥰
Knight Clopeh Half of the chapter was about Clopeh, so I'm really happy! Yes, I'm a huge Clopeh fan. I wanted to translate the entire part about Clopeh, but this is a reaction post, not a translation one, so I'm sorry... 😞
Anyway, Cale asked Clopeh what he wanted to do if he could use the sword again. Clopeh went through some introspection about his past with Cale, and ultimately made a decision. He knelt down on one knee and dedicated his sword to his Cale-nim! 🤩
I really liked this part because it showed how Cale's relationship with Clopeh had greatly changed. From enemies to close allies. Of course, Cale pretended to not care much, but Clopeh knew that Cale did care about him. 😂
Cale had CH give the murim martial arts book to Clopeh. He wanted Clopeh to take HD's role and become stronger too. Also something about how Clopeh would now use his sword to save lives.
After CH and Clopeh left the room, Cale suddenly had a bad feeling. It was not a surprise because at that time, Clopeh was thinking something like, "I can't become a legend. But I will help create that path for my Cale-nim!" 🤣🤣🤣 Oh, Clopeh, this is why I love you~ 🥰
Ahn Roh Man is a Weeb The last part was also funny. Alberu suddenly called Cale because of some "emergency." Turns out, he had talked to Ahn Roh Man and misunderstood several terms the latter used. It all started when Cale told Alberu to mention "The Blue One" to Ahn Roh Man and gauge the latter's reaction.
And Ahn Roh Man's reply confused Alberu.
Ahn Roh Man thought The Blue One was a guy 😂
The two agreed to a "hyunpi", but The Blue One did not show up.
Ahn Roh Man said The Blue One almost spilled his "dark past."
Also said The Blue One caused him quite a considerable crisis (because of the dark past).
Hyunpi is a Korean gaming term. Hyun came from "hyunsil" which means "reality", and Pi came from P of PK (Player Kill). It means when two gamers who are having an online fight/argument get so angry that they agree to meet in real life and settle it there personally (through physical violence). So instead of a meet-and-greet, it's like a "meet-and-fight."
I can't think of an English equivalent to that term. But from what I know, some hyunpi meetings become violent enough that it made headline news in Korea. Gamers in Korea are just on a different level...
As for "dark past", it's an East Asian slang. It refers to an adult recalling the shameful, cringe-worthy, and embarrassing things they did in their childhood and teenage years. Most weebs use it to refer to their past as a chuunibyou, but it can also mean the stupid stuff you did as a teen.
So when Ahn Roh Man said he was in a crisis, it was because he was afraid of The Blue One spilling his dark past. 🤣🤣🤣 But Alberu misunderstood that and thought The Blue One was some powerful person who caused the president of a country some serious trouble... 🤣🤣🤣
Even Raon thought the same as Alberu. Cale was shocked in learning that Ahn Roh Man was such a weeb and gamer, and then did a facepalm. Alberu and Raon asking Cale what "hyunpi" and "dark past" meant was so funny. 😂
Cale was troubled on how to explain those terms. And Ron wasn't helping because he suddenly asked Cale if he wanted some lemonade. 😂
Ending Remarks Next chapter will probably be Cale explaining those terms to the Roan residents. And hopefully, Cale's talk with Ron. Cale was actually troubled today on how to explain about the KRS-Cale stuff to Ron, but Alberu suddenly called, so it got postponed.
But seriously, where are CJS and LSH? They still haven't been mentioned! Mary and the half-blood dragon were mentioned to be training together, but what about the Soos? What happened to them? What about Toonka and Durst?
And because today is the 1000th chapter of TCF, our author wrote another Author's Note:
Author's Note Greetings. Today, this Yoo Ryeo Han is sending greetings to commemorate the 1000th chapter. Oh my goodness, one thousand! A thousand! Actually, I still can't quite believe it. I still clearly recall the emotions I felt when the prologue and first chapter were posted. However, I have mixed feelings when I hear that it has already reached chapter 1000. Above all, I am truly grateful. Thank you for joining us. I will continue to write diligently. Hmm… Hmm… Hmm… Chapter 2000… I probably won't give greetings again, right? Hehe Well, once again, thank you very much! -Yoo Ryeo Han
Please, NO. DON'T MAKE IT REACH CHAPTER 2OOO, YRH-NIM! I love TCF, but 1000 more chapters are too much! 😭
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whumpees · 2 months
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My dearest (2023) whump list
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Synopsis: Yu Gil Chae is a pretty, bubbly, and a bit spoiled young lady who's called the 99 tailed fox of Neunggun-ri. She is also a bit of an outcast because other young ladies are jealous of her. They seem to think she's too straightforward and her behavior is inappropriate for a young lady, while young noblemen think highly of her. Gil Chae knows how to get men to fall for her but fails to capture the heart of the person she likes. Lee Jang Hyun is a mysterious man who suddenly appears in the Neunggun-ri social scene. Nobody really knows anything about him. Young nobles don't like him, but the elderly are wrapped around his finger. He's been dating around a lot, but he becomes curious about a certain 99 tailed fox, and one day, the said fox quite literally crash lands into his arms. Once war is brewing, the pair finds themselves separated before they could even start to make sense of their feelings.
Whumpee: Lee Jang Hyun played by Namkoong Min
Episodes: 21 (divided into two parts: 10 for the first, 11 for the second)
Very whumpy show damn
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Contains spoilers
Ep1: flash forward: the show starts out with the male lead on the shore covered in blood and panting holding his sword and an army of people waiting to charge at him :: slashed in the arm, somebody wraps his wound
Ep5: everyone paying attention to their injuried love interest and rushing to help him but the male lead is standing there watching them with blood dripping from his arm but no one is paying attention to him (my baby boy 😭) :: Later female lead is arguing and screaming at him and he just leaves her but then she notices the blood on his hand and commands he sits down and wraps his wound and says it's severe and not gonna heal easily so he needs to rest for a month :: Blood through his bandage :: Someone throws something at his face & the cut drips blood on the ground
Ep6: contracts a disease but is unaware, later while waking he puts his hand on his head and sways (dizzy or a headache), coughs up blood, fighting with the enemies, slashed in the side, "from this point, nobody is getting past me" (HE'S FIGHTING WHILE SICK to protect fl), fought dozens of soldiers and when there's just one remaining he's finally getting weak and has blurry vision and gets slashed in the back
Ep7: his enemy pushed him and he falls down in pain, laying on the ground, somebody kills the enemy for him, the fl is near him but she doesn't see him!!! Fuck. he cries then passes out on the ground alone in the forest, wakes up on the ground, panting and trying to get up and is weak, walking unsteadily, waving to his friends that he's there then passes out and falls down, unconscious in bed and being tended to, woke up
Ep8: having a conversation with fl and he was reaaaally hurt by her words he started tearing up and was about to cry :: In a prison cell
Ep10: crying and hurt (he acts hurt so well)
Ep11: rememberd fl and cried (seriously i love it when this actor cries he depicts so much emotion in his face and this scene was adorable)
Ep12: sword pointed at his neck leaving a cut :: Tearing up while telling a personal story to someone
Ep13: crying in shock and absolutely heartbroken (I'm a sucker for this man's tears)
Ep14: hit on the head and knocked down, tries to move but ends up passing out, woke up startled, gets up immediately and kinda unsteady :: Tearing up :: Crying again :: On his knees begging to be punished instead of fl and saying he's ready to do anything or even be a servant for the rest of his life to let her go (bear in mind this is not like him 😳 so it means it shook his core to see fl humiliated like that) :: Shot in the back by an arrow to protect fl, passes out on top of her, unconscious in bed, tended to by his friend and fl, wakes up
Ep15: wakes up and caresses female lead's face then passes out again and his hand drops, wakes up, lifts his head and smiles and it causes him pain :: Pretends to still be passed out so fl doesn't leave :: Fl takes care of him while he's still pretending to be unconscious and she sees his scars :: Pretends to limp & collapse & be in pain :: His friend tells him to not pretend to be in pain but this time he actually is in pain
Ep16: unwrapping his bandages :: Wants to cry :: Teary eyes :: Teary eyes again
Ep17: teary eyes
Ep18: crying :: Hit over the head and collapses unconscious and his friend catches him but he also gets hit and they both fall to the ground :: Walking blindfolded and swaying (hasn't recovered from the blow to his head), in a prison cell hands tied and blood on his face :: Interrogated and kinda dazed while answering and looks weak, beaten :: Blood A LOT of blood dripping from his face, more beating, collapses, passes out :: On the ground bloody and helpless trying to reach out to the ring the fl gave him :: Put on a cart while blindfolded and unconscious and drops the ring (gosh i love when their hands are extended out when their unconscious it showed in multiple scenes in this ep), carried out of the cart and put among a pile of the dead, fl finds him and lifts the blindfold and ooff he's SOAKED in blood it looks so good, shakes him to wake up but he doesn't, half opens his eyes and reaches out to grab her clothes but doesn't have the strength to
Ep19: she helps him to walk by supporting him by his arm but is basically dragging him cuz he's unconscious, 2 ppl holding him by the arms, put to bed in fl's house, half awake briefly and back to unconscious, doc checks his pulse and gestures that he's in hopeless situation, coughs while unconscious, trying to get him out of the house cuz soldiers are looking for him and again grabbed by the arm to walk and is unconscious, ryang eum takes him on a horse and runs away, unconscious in bed, nursed, having a traumatic flashback and fighting in his sleep, woke up and doesn't remember anyone (for fuck's sake this is so unnecessary), pulse checked while asleep :: Awake and ok, fl feeds him, head pain :: Again having flashbacks in his sleep :: More flashbacks and head pain, fl feeds him (he's baffled bc of the attention he's getting from her cuz he still doesn't remember 😂) :: Fl tends his injuries, has a lot of big bruises (also he's now very shy when she touches him he screamed at her to stop 😂) :: Starts getting his memories back and flashbacks from when he was beaten and his head hurts, rememberd fl
Ep20: crying out of happiness (it's a beautiful scene) :: Knife pointed at his neck
Ep21: emotional confrontation with his dad and cries :: Cries again :: Finally back to the very first scene in ep 1 where dozens of people are trying to kill him, crying, getting up with difficulty, unsteady, blood dripping from him, collapses on one leg, status unknown but someone he's probably dead cuz he was bleeding a lot :: Flashback: It's night time and he's still walking on the beach while injured, staggering, passes out and falls on the ground, found by an old man, lost his memories again (is the author actually insane?), crying :: Crying reaally hard at the end
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Extra: not whump but the relationship between Jang Hyun and Ryang Eum is adorable 😭 In ep 9 jang hyun says that he doesn't belong on anyone's side, then ryang eum says to him while he's sleeping: "you don't belong to anyone, but i belong to you" and moves jang hyun's arm to sleep on it 😭😭😭 and in ep 11 ryang eum watches a slave being punished and looks at jang hyun with a horrified and pleading expression and without having to say a word jang hyun immediately stops them from punishing the slave just cuz his friend was hurt by it even tho he normally wouldn't give a shit 😭😭😭 that scene was so freaking adorable 😭 he always cares if the people he loves care. And in episode 15 he was crying his eyes out bc jang hyun got injured and was fighting with fl to nurse him 😂😂😂
(Ok i had my suspicions especially after ep 14 where the old man told ryang eum that jang hyun only considers him as a younger brother and "not to be greedy" but after ep 15 I'm now pretty positive it's not platonic anymore dude has feelings 😂 his jealousy was annoying it got in the way صورم انا اول مرة اشوف راجل بصورم 😒)
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dangermousie · 9 months
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Top Dozen 2023 drama MLs so far
It's August, so not the end of the year, neither it is at halfway year mark, but why would I ever do anything like a normal person? Here my very very subjective list. I have limited myself to one dude per drama or LYF would be half the list. No order except alphabetical.
Chen Wende (Sun Yizhou in Gone With the Rain, China)
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The epic troll lord stole the whole drama as competently as he stole the FL's heart. He was competent and adult and oh-so-amused by but also gone for the heroine.
Gu Jiusi (Bai Jing Ting in Chang Feng Du/Destined, China)
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CFD lost steam for me halfway through but Jiusi's character remained a delight throughout and BJT gave a great performance as a golden boy who went through a bunch of hell and grew up but remained goodnatured at heart.
Han Dong Jin (Kim Young Kwang in Call It Love, Korea)
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You know, he and Jing (from LYF1) really fit the same mold even if one is in a mellow realistic modern and another in xianxia - lovely traumatized people from monster families who win over heroine with a metric ton of baggage through sheer unswerving decency. I have a type.
Jang Uk (Lee Jae Wook in Alchemy of Souls s2, Korea)
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I loved Uk in S1 and S2 continued that love - he's so intense, so grieving, so still in love with Naksu. LJW is always a good actor so it's such a pleasure to see him in a good role.
Kim Do Ha (Hwang Min Hyun, My Lovely Liar, Korea)
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The year of surprises - Minhyun, who I found utterly wooden in AoS stole my heart here as this hopeful, traumatized sweetheart of a man.
Kim Moo Chan (Park Hae Jin, The Killing Vote, Korea)
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Yeah, we are only one ep in but who said anything about this list was objective? PHJ brings his usual unsettling intensity to the role of a cop who breaks all the rules and teeters on the edge and now is set to catch a killer who really only differs from him in a matter of degree.
Lee Jang Hyun (Nam Goong Min in My Dearest, Korea)
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If I had to pick a favorite ML from this list, it would be between him and Jing (LYF). This is basically if you took Rhett Butler and took out slavery and rape but gave him a sword. The character is complex and nuanced and NGM is giving his usual incredible performance.
Lee Rang (Kim Bum in Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938, Korea)
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I was not a Rang fangirl for most of the original (even if he was well-acted; and he did win me over by the end) but I fell for him head over heels in this sequel/prequel/spin-off. I am so happy the man who believed he had nobody and was abandoned by everybody ends the story with his beloved brother and his beloved woman, both.
Moon Seo Ha (Ahn Bo Hyun in See You in My 19th Life, Korea)
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A lot of MLs on this list have serious trauma and haunted by it and can't let go of their past love (I have a type) but even by those standards, Seo Ha was such a lovely, quiet person slowly healing.
Tantai Jin (Luo Yunxi in Till the End of the Moon, China)
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Abuse victim/monster/praiseworthy king/xianxia saint/man on the brink - LYX portrayed a character in multiple timelines and many different complexities and did it amazingly. Tantai Jin may or may not win my favorite place on this list, but his performance was hands-down the most glorious thing this year.
Tushan Jing/Ye Shiqi (Deng Wei in Lost You Forever part 1, China)
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If before LYF aired someone would have told me that a character played by Deng Wei, an actor I've always found eminently forgettable, would make it on this list and be in the running to win the whole thing actually, I'd have wondered what weird reality they came from. They somehow managed to make someone genuinely good and kind not in the least boring; I am ridiculously invested in the man who managed to keep his soul after all he's been through.
Yun Xiang (Chen Xiao in The Ingenuous One, China)
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A schemer on a revenge quest, smarter than anyone else in the room but helpless in front of love. Yun Xiang was an adult in an adult story for adults and it was glorious.
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dyaz-stories · 5 months
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a house, not a home || Cha Hyun-Su x Reader
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word count: 1.4k
warnings & tags: canon typical violence, hurt/comfort, hyun-su needs a hug, unresolved tension, mentions of blood
a/n: okay so, for context, this takes place during season 2. reader and hyun-su know each other from high school and reader runs into hyun-su after the events of the first three episodes. reader also doesn't know that he is a monster/neohuman though if people are interested i could definitely write that 👀 I hope you'll like it! Please let me know your thoughts and if you'd like me to write more, and consider reblogging!
next part
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The hardest thing to get used to, after what others called the Monsterization Outbreak but you labelled, more simply, the Apocalypse, was the silence. You were the type of person to always have music playing, back when you were a high schooler studying hard to get into your college of choice. Now, music was wasted electricity and, worse, could be a death sentence if anyone — anything — heard it play, or if it dulled your senses and got you killed.
At the beginning, there had been lots of sounds. Screams. Cars colliding. Stores’ alarms, blaring when the looters broke in. Sobs. In your house, for a while, there had been your father, humming quietly as he worked.
Then he’d gotten a nosebleed, left the house, and never returned.
Now it was just you, and you’d learned not to make a sound. So when there’s a knock on your door, it echoes through the rooms and rattles you to your core. For a second, you clench your trusty baseball bat. You took hours and cut your fingers planting nails into it, but it’s worth it, if only for the feeling of confidence it gives you. Truth is, you rarely had to use it. Your strategy relies on avoiding confrontation at all costs.
You release it when you realize that there are very few people who can come knocking at your door.
After all, monsters don’t knock.
You rush to the door without letting go of the bat. Your habits are ingrained in you well enough that you still check the peephole — and when you do, your heart somersaults in your chest.
You keep the hinges well-oiled and the door doesn’t make a sound when you open it.
“Come in,” you whisper, not daring to break the silence with actual words.
Cha Hyun-Su stares at you, looks like he hesitates. He always does, looks like he wants to give you a chance to slam the door back in his face. He’s covered in blood now — ‘not mine’, you know he’d say if you asked —, clutching his wrist, lips chapped, eyes hollow.
“Come on,” you say again, and this time he does, walking by you without a word. Then he goes still once more, there in your entrance, while you close the door behind him. He always does that, until you give him explicit permission.
“Are you okay?” you ask when you turn around, hands reaching for his arms, his torso, trying to check on him, though you cannot see whether or not he is hurt.
“I’m fine,” he replies with that deep voice of his, catching your wrists before you can feel for yourself. “It’s not my blood.”
It never is.
“But are you hurt?” you press, still.
He frowns, and confusion sparks in his eyes.
“I told you. I’m fine.”
You shake your head.
“No, I mean— Does it hurt? Does anything hurt?”
Hyun-Su’s lips part. He closes his eyes. His body sways towards yours, and you freeze. You feel his breath against your cheek, and his grip on your wrist becomes lighter— a caress, at most. You just stay there, not wanting to scare him away, but not wanting to leave him to himself either. You feel a pull towards him, the urge to wrap your arms around him, and you resist it, knowing that he’d flee.
Finally, he snaps out of it, lets go of you, takes a step back.
“I’m fine,” he repeats for a third time.
You don’t push it.
“Do you want to take a bath?”
Clean water isn’t easy to come by these days. Fortunately for you, you have a complex system designed to retain rain water as well as morning dew, put in place by your father, when he was still around. It’s rained recently, and with the help of solar panels you’d stolen with him what feels like a lifetime ago, you’ll be able to have hot water. Showers, you haven’t mastered — though you’re sure your dad would have figured it out by now — but you can at least offer him a warm bath.
Hyun-Su’s eyes are on you, wide and focused.
They’re ever so slightly warmer than they were when he came in.
“I would like that.”
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Hyun-Su comes out of the bathroom some thirty minutes later, clean and looking more like himself. He’s wearing clothes he’d left there on one of his other visits, which you’d washed by hand among some of your stuff.
“Thank you,” he says, his voice firmer than it had been earlier.
“It’s not a problem,” you reply, and you have to stop yourself from grimacing at how fake your nonchalance sounds to your ears.
If he notices, he doesn’t comment on it.
“Have you been okay here?” he asks instead.
You bite the inside of your cheek. The answer is complicated. You’ve been safe, physically that is. You have barely caught sight of a monster since he’s last been here — nine days ago. You can’t say you’re bored, either. There’s always things to do, to fix, to figure out around here.
What you are, is alone.
And, though you don’t want to admit it, lonely.
It might be the kind of answer he’s looking for, yet you can’t bring yourself to say it out loud. It’s not even that you don’t want him to know.
It’s that you’re scared that if you did, if you asked him to stay or to take you with him, he would still leave you behind.
“I make do,” you reply, which at least isn’t a lie. “I keep myself busy.”
It’s your turn to freeze when Hyun-Su leans forward, trying to meet your eyes.
“Are you hurt?”
A smile escapes you at his cautious tone as he repeats your words at you. You look up, and there he is, inches away from your face, checking on you in the very same way you’d checked on him when he’d arrived — now that he’s had the time and space to collect himself. For half a second, the corner of his lips lifts clumsily to form a smile in response to yours, and then it’s gone, as he, too, realizes how close he is.
You see him sucking in a breath, then swallowing, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. Your heart beats so loud in your ears, you can’t even hear the silence anymore.
“I’m not hurt,” you say, and it is true for now, at least.
Hyun-Su nods without moving away. There’s an intensity in his eyes that you’re not used to, a spark, a craving.
His eyes drop to your lips.
Your whole body is tingling with anticipation, yet you don’t move, no matter how badly you want to close the gap between you. You can’t rush him. You’d never forgive yourself, if he didn’t come back.
He leans forward, just by an inch, then closer again, so close and—
He turns his head at the last moment, late enough that his cheek brushes against yours, before he pulls himself back.
That hurts. It makes your heart ache more than you’ve let yourself hurt in forever.
“Sorry,” Hyun-Su mumbles, stumbling back. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you say. You’re not sure if he’s apologizing for trying to kiss you, or for not doing it.
“I’ve brought you food,” he says in a rush, picking up his backpack by the entrance door.
You watch him as he does, and you can’t help but note the many wounds on his body. Most of them are half-closed, and you know that they’ll be gone by the next time he comes back, but that new ones will have had the time to open and heal halfway.
He hands you his offering of food, without meeting your eyes this time, and you take it from him. Your fingers brush against him, and he moves his hand away like you’ve just burned him.
“It’s late,” you say, your voice quiet even to your own ears, even now that you’re so accustomed to the lack of noise. You don’t want him to go, not just yet. “You should sleep here.”
But, just like you expected, Hyun-Su shakes his head and closes his backpack with shaky hands.
“I need to go,” he says. Then, when you don’t answer — can he tell you’re fighting back tears? —, he adds “I’ll come back. I promise.”
You nod. It’s your turn to avoid his eyes.
“I’ll be waiting,” you say.
You open the door for him, and you force yourself to look at him as he steps back outside, into the unknown, into the danger, and away from you.
He looks back, right before disappearing in the night.
“Stay safe,” you say, though you know he won’t.
“You too,” he says, knowing you will.
And then he’s gone, and you’re alone with the silence again.
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factorygirlsstuff · 4 months
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Currently watching: Queen of Tears, The Midnight Studio, Lovely Runner, Into The Ring, Flower of Evil, & Link: Eat, Love, Kill
I started watching kdramas in May 2023 (updated 4/17/24)
My personal top 10:
It’s Okay to not be Okay (top fav) ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
A road to emotional healing opens up for an antisocial children's book author and an employee in a psychiatric hospital. (amazing chemistry & found family)
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Crash Landing on You ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
A paragliding mishap drops a South Korean heiress in North Korea - and into the life of an army officer, who decides he will help her hide. (lots of crying but worth it)
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Hometown Cha Cha Cha ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
At a crossroads, a dentist moves to a seaside village where she meets a handyman intent on helping his neighbours. (my most rewatched)
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Her Private Life ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Dedicated art gallery curator Sung Deok Mi is a fanatic fan girl of White Ocean's Cha Shi-an, a dark secret she hides from everyone. (really supportive relationship, weird last couple of eps)
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Business Proposal ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
In disguise as her friend, Ha-ri shows up on a blind date to scare away her friend's prospective suitor. However, plans go awry when he turns out to be Ha-ri's CEO and he makes a proposal. (my first kdrama! Super cute & funny)
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Touch Your Heart ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
A famous actress, gets caught in a scandal with a son of a rich family; with her career declining quickly, she looks for one last hope to get back on the screen. She lands a role playing a secretary in a drama & then becomes a real secretary in order to play the part. (Healthy relationship, office romance)
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Welcome to Samdalri ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
After suffering a fall from grace, a photographer returns to her hometown and bumps into her childhood friend, rekindling an unfinished romance. (childhood friends to lovers & slice of life/healing)
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Happiness ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
The residents of a high-rise apartment fight for their lives against a deadly infectious disease while Sae-bom and Yi-hyun try to find the person because of whom the virus spread. (I think I really love friends to lovers)
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Something in the Rain ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
When a single career woman reunites with her best friend's younger brother after he returns from three years of working abroad, their efforts to reconnect grow into romance. (they just felt so real to me, the romance was 🤌🏼, worst mom)
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Cheer Up ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
A working-class girl joins her college's down-and-out cheerleading team, where she finds friendship, love, and an old-school campus mystery. (idk they felt real too, worst SML though)
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Other kdramas I finished:
Healer ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (binged in 2 days)
What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (love PMY)
Love to Hate You ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (Maybe I binged it too fast, but I don’t remember it lol)
Our Beloved Summer ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ (too slow for me & I usually don’t mind slow)
True To Love ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (main leads romance was everything)
Forecasting Love & Weather ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (something was off/missing)
Vincenzo ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (🫰🏼)
When the Weather is Fine ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (kinda slow but I binged it fast lol)
Squid Game ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
All of Us are Dead ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (I like zombie shows)
Alchemy of Souls ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
Alchemy of Souls: Light & Shadow ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (the romance 🫰🏼)
Suspicious Partner ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (dragged in the middle but loved this couple)
Save Me ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (so good, just hard subject matter)
Shooting Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (loved the main couple so much & so many other cute couples!)
Doona! ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (omg her visual, binged so fast)
Itaewon Class ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (binged so fast)
Descendants of the Sun ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (binged in 2 days)
Castaway Diva ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (first kdrama to watch while airing)
The Matchmakers ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (first sageuk, thought they were adorable)
Crazy Love ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (it was good, but didn’t do it for me 🤷🏻‍♀️)
Moving ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (I didn’t like all the flashbacks, but it was good overall)
Backstreet Rookie ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (for some reason I loved this couple so much, problematic SML & annoying SFL)
School 2017 ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (just perfect)
Dalie and the Cocky Prince ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (the pet names 🥰)
Soundtrack #1 ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (another friends to lovers)
Behind Your Touch ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (idk why but I loved it, it was so funny to me lol)
Thirty But Seventeen ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (great romance & cutest found family)
Kiss Sixth Sense ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (really liked it, last 20 minutes idk 🤷🏻‍♀️)
I Am Not A Robot ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (loved this, dragged a little in the middle)
My Man is Cupid ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (SML annoyed me, the cutest ending 🥰)
Gyensong Creature ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (I liked it, but it didn’t end I guess. So I’m waiting for season 2)
Cafe Minamdang ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (loved it so much! It made me laugh & loved the FL!)
My Man is Cupid ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (it was cute)
Marry My Husband ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (it was a lot of fun & loved watching it weekly with everyone)
My Holo Love ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ (it was fine, only 12 eps so it was quick & slow burn romance.)
Queen of Divorce ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ (it started off really interesting, but some things were never explained & I wanted more romance between the leads)
Doom at Your Service ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (I really liked it, the romance was SO good, but I was a little confused about how the contract worked.)
Doctor Slump ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (loved it SO much! Everything was so cute & loved the romance)
Flex x Cop ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (really loved it, gave me Castle vibes. #1 drama I was looking forward to every week. No romance, although we are getting a 2nd season so fingers crossed.)
Chicken Nugget ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ (it was definitely weird, but I laughed a lot)
Wedding Impossible ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (really liked it, cute romcom)
Fight For My Way ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (loved it so much, binged it in a day! I could not stop watching, friends to lovers really is the best.)
Rookie Cops ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ (really liked it at first, put on hold for a month, then the last few episodes were good again.)
Parasyte: The Grey ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (it was really good)
Mad for Each Other ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (so good! Loved everything about it, especially the couple)
Dropped: (I might try again 🤷🏻‍♀️)
Run On
Goblin
Hotel De Luna
Weight Lifting Fairy, Kim Bok-joo
King the Land
My Demon
True Beauty
The K2
Destined With You
The Story of Park’s Marriage Contract
Perfect Marriage Revenge
Moon in the Day
A Good Day to be a Dog
Open to recommendations!
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hyunnieshannie · 9 months
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Isn't it Lovely?
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🖤: Hyunjin x Reader | Han Jisung x Reader 🖊️: approx 6.3K 🚨: Hanahaki AU, there is so much trauma and Angst. Major character death. No hopeful ending. Angst- No Comfort. A/N: I am so sorry... Hyune I'm so sorry.. Jisung... I am so sorry.. Reader... I am so sorry...
Play this while you read? | Mood Board | ART
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It was starting to get even harder to breathe. Hidden away in your apartment you forced yourself to finish the letters you started. You thought keeping it away from everyone was the best choice but as you sit in the darkness of your room you wish you had told someone. Anyone. You didn’t want to do this alone anymore. The more you wrote the more you cried, the more you wished you had just told one person- so one person would be there with you. 
You knew you couldn't tell anyone. You knew exactly what they had done had they known from the beginning. They’d have dragged you straight to a hospital and forcibly removed what slowly, and not so silently killed you. Your phone buzzed beside you and slowly you checked your messages. Jisung. You smile lightly at your phone. Tomorrow, you’d give him the box of letters. He’ll give out each letter. He’ll understand, right?
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You sign the card meant for the top of the box addressed to Jisung,
Ji, 
Take this box and keep it safe. Please don’t open it, don’t look inside not until next week okay? Don’t ask me questions, just trust me okay? Next week open it, and give everything to the people they’re addressed to. Please. 
Thank you Ji, for always being there for me.
One more week. One more and everyone will know. Avoiding letting anyone know was always the best option. You know Jisung would have ripped you right out of the apartment and brought you to a doctor but you couldn’t live like that- having the flowers delicately taken out of you while they knowingly ripped out the feeling of love altogether. It would be no way to live- without the memory or feeling of ever being in love again. You couldn’t handle that- living as a shell of who you once were. 
One more week and you wouldn’t be on this earth anymore and everyone around you would be moving on with their lives. They’d have received the letters you had written them- maybe even shed a tear but eventually, they would come to forget you. Changbin would still be happy with Felix, and Seungmin would be attending his lectures and still trying to charm the girl in this English class. Jeongin would be cuddled up with his new girlfriend struggling to figure out what to do for their month anniversary. Chan would still be babying all of them, Minho would still be attempting to adopt new cats Hyunjin- Hyunjin would still be with the girl he had met in his art lecture. He would be happy, and in love as he always dreamed of. No one appreciated love the way he did, the way he saw love in such a beautiful way. The way you knew he would treat her with absolute respect and adoration, she would never need to fear losing him. He wasn’t that kind of guy. Life would simply, go on. 
Jisung would be the only one who would probably be more hurt than the rest. Being your best friend for so long. He had grown up with you, he had always been there for you. He was there when you found out you had the gene, the stupid goddamn gene that landed you where you were now. Cursed by your genetics, and betrayed by your heart- Hanahaki had taken over. Jisung always warned you to be careful who you’d fall in love with, he always told you to keep your heart closed off unless you knew for sure they could love you back- you did for the most part. You had your walls up until you met Hwang Hyunjin. 
Hwang Hyunjin destroyed the walls you had built to shield your very delicate heart. Hwang Hyunjin was the definition of a dream. Sweet, caring, attentive and the way he viewed the world was so beautiful. Anyone would have fallen for him, everyone did. Not only did he have such a gorgeous personality but he was also so incredibly handsome. Delicate features, and a toned body. He was ethereal, to say the least, a deadly combination of looks and sincerity. How could anyone not have fallen for someone who could easily be mistaken for an angel? 
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You had first met Hyunjin through Jisung. They had met in college. The music major and the artist. They hadn’t always gotten along but once they realised they had a lot more in common than they had originally thought they became inseparable. The day you met Hyunjin was on his twenty-first birthday. It was cold out, the leftover freezing rain from the winter being poured out upon the earth as he and Jisung ran into your apartment soaked and shaking. You had quickly run to Jisung failing to properly notice the other standing beside him, taking his hands in your own as you tried to warm up the shivering boy. 
“Jisung you’re soaked! Oh my god get in the shower before you catch a cold I’ll dry your clothes!” You worried, 
“Y/N..” Jisung smiled, his teeth still chattering from the cold. “Y/N This is Hyunjin, he’s-” he lets out a soft sneeze, 
“Yes yes the artist Jisung I know- now get in the shower and warm up!” you look to the other boy, Tall, with long dark -wet hair that stuck to his face. His body trembling, “And you!” you say, “You’re next. For now in front of the heater!” you pointed to the small space heater you had set up in the living room where you were originally sitting- reading. Jisung hurries himself to the washroom, and Hyunjin sits quietly on the spot on the floor in front of the heater- his hands up in front of it as he attempts to keep them warm. “You’re shaking” you sigh as you drape your duvet over him. 
“T-thanks,” he says softly, “You know, spring shouldn’t be this cold.” 
“Well you two shouldn’t be running around in the rain, what were you thinking?” You said at you patter him down- 
“Han said we’d have more fun here, apparently Birthdays should be spent with friends and not at home watching dramas” Your eyes widen at the confession, 
“Happy birthday.” You smile, 
“Thank you-” 
“Now, this is going to sound weird but I really don't want you getting sick especially not on your birthday- undress in the bedroom and keep that blanket on you until your turn, I’ll get a head start on drying your clothes.” Hyunjin sits up watching you as you speak. He nods getting up slowly from his spot on the floor and heads into your bedroom. A few minutes later he emerges cocooned in your duvet clutching his clothes. He hands them to you and follows you to the laundry room- you throw them into the wash alongside Jisung's and run them on a light cycle. You were sure Jisung had left clothes somewhere in the guest room the question was where. With Hyunjin trailing you like a lost puppy you wandered into the spare bedroom and riffled through the closet. Surely he had something. You spot the blue gym bag buried deep in the back of the closet, with a light tug you drag it out of its spot and peek inside. Gym shorts, a tank top and a pair of sweats. 
“Well it’s not much, and you’re definitely taller than Ji but it’ll have to do until your clothes are clean and dry.” You hand him the bag, he fishes out the sweats and bows politely. 
“Thanks, honestly Your blankets are soft and all but uh- It’s weird being under someone's blankets naked and it wasn’t even for a good reason.” He laughs, and your brain freezes at the realization of what he’s saying. Your cheeks heat up at the image of Hyunjin under the blanket- naked for a ‘good reason’ No, no no- don’t think of that. 
“Uh, not to interrupt whatever the fuck is going on here but-” Jisung clears his throat at the door, his lower body wrapped in his designated towel, “Mind tossing the bag?” Hyunjin laughs as he holds the blanket closed with one hand and tosses the gym bag towards Jisung who almost manages to drop it as it falls into his hands, 
“I’ll uh-” you mutter, “Grab you a towel.” 
The rest of yours and Jisung's friends arrive an hour after the whole ordeal alongside a few others you didn’t quite fully know. Jisung sat happily in his shorts and tank while Hyunjin sat in front of the heater in Jisung's sweats. 
“Classy Hyune,” a boy you had seen on campus but never spoke to, “Meet a girl and suddenly you’re shirtless.” He smiles as he walks in behind Chan, 
“Y/N!” Chan smiles, “Taking care of the children I see” 
“Honestly as a single mother of three, you should really be helping out here more Chris.” You laugh, 
“Please I’m the one that takes care of Changbin and Felix. Your only responsibility is that one” Chan giggles as he points to Jisung. 
“Mom- Dad stop fighting” Felix chimes in, Hyunjin still sat quietly as he watched you interact with your friends. Jeongin swiftly takes his hoodie off and throws it at Hyunjin’s face. 
“Put a shirt on you heathen, we’re in the presence of a nice girl who’s helped you not get sick and you thank her by traumatizing her with your bare chest?” the same boy who has mentioned Hyunjin’s outfit- or lack thereof scoffs, “Apologies, he has no manners, I’m Yang Jeongin, unfortunately, i’m friends with the birthday boy so I will be taking responsibility for him” you smile at the boy, he seems sweet. Hyujin throws the sweater on, still carefully watching as everyone talks around him. 
“Please. Nice girl? Y/N spends half her time pants-less and the other half shirtless. If you think Hyune’s chest is traumatizing wait till you see her-” You give Seungmin a punch before he finishes his sentence, “SEE WHAT I MEAN? ANYTHING BUT NICE.” 
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After that day the nine of you began to spend more time together. Hyunjin was often quiet, he enjoyed sitting back and observing the conversation. He’d speak up occasionally but most of the time it felt like he was studying everyone. Jisung had mentioned it for a long time Hyunjin just kept to himself. That was until he had started hanging around Jisung. Hyunjin had introduced him to Jeongin and from there the three of them had begun a small friendship. He mentioned how Hyunjin wasn’t usually this quiet around his friends and that maybe, he just needed to get used to the group. 
The more you spent time with the group including Hyunjin and Jeongin the more you got to know them (naturally as one would). You learned of Hyunjin’s love of art- and dance. You learned his favourite colours, foods, and seasons and that his favourite flower was the rose. You learned how he spoke softly around the group but when he spoke to you he was more- himself. He seemed to prefer one-on-one conversations to those with a group. He enjoyed watching everyone yell over each other but never wanted to speak over anyone. Oftentimes times the two of you would spend your time just talking to each other while the others yelled over one another. 
You got too close to him, too fast. You just didn’t know that at the time. 
He asked about your interests and your dreams, and he listened and responded thoughtfully to questions you’d ask. He’d bring you coffee and ask you to keep him company. You fell fast for him but you were only ever a good friend to him. 
“There’s this girl in my class.” Hyunjin sighs, “She’s sweet, cute. Her art is just, wow. She’s so talented, and I- god I feel so stupid Y/N” Your heart drops into your stomach. You lost him, yet he was never yours to lose. He’d always be your friend though right? So why does it feel like your heart just shattered? 
“You’re not stupid Jinnie, you admire her- so talk to her.” You smile as you bring the warm cup of coffee you’d been neglecting as you watched Hyunjn paint. 
“Should I?” He asks genuinely, and you nod. 
“Of course Jinnie,” 
The first date went well. Hyunjin came back to you and Jisung absolutely elated. He told the two of you how they had talked all night about art, their interests, and what they wanted to do in the future. He told you two how she had agreed to a second date and he how he hasn’t felt this excited about a girl in a while. He had unintentionally planted the seeds of your demise that night. Neither of you knew yet. 
By the third date, he had decided to officially ask her out. She said yes. She’d have been stupid to say no. That was the first time you felt the pain in your chest. You choked in attempts to take a breath, only to land yourself in a coughing fit- something stuck in your throat and you desperately forced the cough to rid yourself of it. You knew, yet what hurt the most was to see it fully. To fully let it sink in as you stared down at the rose petal covered in spit and blood laying on the palm of your hand. You cried for the first time over Hyunjin that night. 
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Your group of nine had become a group of ten within a few weeks. Hyunjin brought his new girlfriend around quite often. He didn’t sit as close to you anymore, and when the group began to talk over each other he wouldn’t lean in to talk to you about how stupid they were all being. Instead, he whispered into her ear about- you wouldn’t know what. You watched, silently as your heart broke more. You could feel the sting in your chest, not only from the aching of heartbreak but the thorns puncturing your lungs as the roses grew. You excused yourself from the group, quietly heading to the furthest washroom in Chan's house. Heaving as you desperately tried to breathe, coughing up more of those delicate red rose petals. You didn’t think it would happen this fast. 
What neither you, nor Hyunjin noticed was the way Jisung watched you. Watched as the light in your eyes died out watching them- watched as you held back tears. He didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to accept it. Maybe the disease hadn’t come? Yes you had the genes for it- but maybe just maybe he was so lucky that you were unaffected by it. You’d have told him if something happened. You’d have told him if you were coughing up petals. You were his best friend and he was yours. He trusted you more than anything to tell him. You would- You would tell him. 
Jisung coughed that night. A small, purplish-blue petal forced it’s way up his throat. He stared down at it in horror. You didn’t love him as he did you. 
Almost a month later, Hyunjin had come to you asking for a woman's opinion on what to get his girlfriend for their month anniversary. You smiled through it, and the two of you went shopping- sometimes you thought you could pretend this wasn’t happening. That it wasn’t this god-awful disease of unrequited love attacking you. Sometimes you’d pretend you just caught a bad cold, and that Hyunjin was still your Jinnie, your close friend. Someone you’d love as a friend forever, but- reality was never so kind. He’d mention something she’d done that made him happy, or he’d see something she may like and ask you for advice and you’d feel the thorns, the threat of the roots squeezing your lungs until they could no longer garner any oxygen. Excusing yourself to the nearest washroom and barely making it inside before you coughed up more of the rose petals, you found that as the condition worsened, the blood that was once just specks and spots came out in larger quantities as time went on. 
 You’ve begun to hate roses. 
“Oh sweetheart-” an elderly woman whispered as she watched you whimper over the sink, she wiped away the blood from your mouth with a paper towel. “You should have those removed my dear.” You nodded and walked away quietly as she stood and watched you. Pitying you. You made your way back to Hyunjin who stood waiting near the benches just before the washrooms, the elderly woman behind you following along, “Deary-” she called out, but stopped as she eyed down Hyunjin. “That cough is quite heavy, I’d suggest heading home alone- lest the boy catch anything.” She smiles softly. She knows. She extended her hand offering a mask, “Rid yourself of that cough dear, it’ll be best.” was the last thing she said before walking away. 
“A-are you sick? What cough? Y/N Should you be resting!? You could have told me!” Hyunjin panics, as he quickly brings a hand to your face to check your temperature “You don’t feel warm, common Let's get you some tea and then home-” He says grabbing your wrist and gently tugging you along. 
“I’m fine Hyunjin honestly.” you sigh. 
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You hid yourself away for a week after that day. Hyunjin and Jisung regularly came to check up on you to make sure you were recovering from your cold well. You lied. Saying you were fine and healthy again, and they both believed you. 
Once more you found yourself with the other nine in Chan’s house. Everyone sat around playing cards. Drinking, overall having a good time. You tried hard never to laugh too hard- god forbid you coughed up a flower in front of everyone. When everyone got bored- the group moved from inside to Chan's backyard. Quickly he started up a fire for the night, you watched as the flames rose and danced around the air before dissipating into the night. 
“You guys are gross!” Jeongin yells as he runs out of Chan's house, “Someone tell Hyunjin to be less gross.” he complains, the group laughs. 
“What did he do now?” You smile- only to regret the question immediately. 
“He’s so fucking mushy, can you do all your I love you’s in private and not with the group- like god not everyone wants to see your pda and shit” Jeonging yells, Hyunjin slowly making his way outside with his girlfriend's hand in his- laughing. 
“Please Innie, you’ll understand when you’re in love.” He smiles. Thank god for the summer weather- a small gust of wind pushes the smoke from the fire into your face and your coughs are easily excused as getting a lung full of smoke. You excuse yourself to hide away and spit out the soggy petals into the toilet. Cleaning your mouth out and quickly swish mouth wash around in it to avoid the iron scent of blood within it. You slowly make your way outside where everyone was still chatting away.
“You guys hear about Yeonjun?” Seungmin sighs, 
“Terrible isn’t it?” Hyunjin’s girlfriend says softly, “Hanahaki. Rare but devastating. I heard he’s having the flowers removed.” 
“That’s better than suffering.” Chan sighs, “I mean- what would you guys do if you had the gene and then- you know-” 
“I’d have them removed.” Hyunjin’s girlfriend says, “I’d rather lose the memory of the person than to die by suffocation.” you wince at the thought and let out a small cough, and the attention turns to you.
“Sorry, it’s like when you talk about lice and you can’t help but itch-” you mutter, “Talking about Hanaki is particularly uncomfortable for Jisung and I-” you sigh, as the others look to Jisung. 
“Yeah uh- we both, have the gene- but there's no guarantee it will happen you know?” he smiles up at you, “I mean neither of us has started coughing up petals and we’ve been in relationships before ya know?” 
“Isn’t it like a love thing though, not just a puppy love but like- oh god this is so mushy but like true love?” Minho asks, 
“There is no real science behind it-” you say, “You never know who will trigger it- it just happens.” 
“What would you two do if it happened, if I may ask-” Felix mutters, 
“I wouldn’t remove them.” You sigh, the silence that follows is deafening, the only sound is that of that fire and the slight rustling of the leaves in the summer wind. 
“W-why not” Hyunjin stutters, “You’d rather die in love with someone who doesn’t love you back than to live a long life and possibly find someone else?” Hyunjin didn’t mean to sound like he was judging- but it hit hard, it still hurt, 
“The thing about removing it Hyune, is that removal affects everyone differently. Some- lose memories of the person they once loved. Everything about them just- poof, gone. Others- they uh-” Jisung tries, 
“They’ll never be able to feel love at all ever again.” You finish. 
“Oh.” Hyunjin mutters, “Well if either of you ever falls in love with someone that triggers it- tell us. Okay?” 
“I wouldn’t keep it from you guys- I’m sure we're fine!” Jisung smiles. What no one knew was that Jisung was suffering. Hiding away just as you were. Neither of you went to the other to tell them what was going on because Jisung would rather suffer than have you pity him for loving you all this time. You had fallen in love and he saw it, and you had survived- unaffected by your cursed genetics. So he would spare you the details, he wouldn’t allow you to witness him- wilting away as he desperately held on to you. Your last memories of him would not be of him coughing up flowers. God forbid you ever found out. He would not allow it. 
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You could barely move, barely breathe. Your lungs hurt to take in air, the coughing never stopped yet still you pushed- and pushed. You tried so hard to be normal around your friends, but soon enough you couldn’t push anymore. You hid yourself away. Claiming to be busy with work- You ignored calls, and didn’t open the door when people came looking for you. The coughing was so bad and the blood loss made you feel dizzy. Your time was coming. You clicked your phone on and sent a quick message to your friends.
STRAYS
Y/N: Movie night, my place friday @ 6 please I’ve been so shit without y’all 
Minho: SHE LIVES! Bet! See you there! 
Felix: Im down! 
You ignored the rest of the incoming texts. You had a mission, two days to complete it and it required all of your strength. You got up from your bed, dragging your bucket of petals alongside you as you planted yourself in the living room and began to write. 
To: Chris. 
To:  Minho.
To: Changbin. 
To: Felix
To: Seungmin
To: Jeongin
To: Jisung
To: Hyunjin
To: Mom & Dad
The last three of your letters being the most important. You needed to take your time with those three.
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Jisung had decided to head over early. He was coughing still but not too badly, he felt fine enough to go hang out with you for a bit and help you set up. You had been working so much he was glad to finally see you- he just wanted to be the first one to see you. He made his way up to your door- opting to knock first before letting himself in, but when you didn’t answer he made use of his key and made his way inside. The apartment was quiet and dark. Perhaps you weren’t home yet. He made his way into the living room and sat himself on the couch, taking out his phone to call you. The confusion hit more when he heard your phone buzzing, but there was no effort from you to answer the call. 
“Y/N?” Jisung called out, but you didn’t answer. He made his way to your bedroom, knocking on the door softly. Still, nothing. He pushed the door open and immediately his legs gave out. Eyes watering, the cough returning in full force. The screams Jisung let out were heartbreaking. And thats how everyone else found him. Screaming, crying, and coughing up bloodied flower petals. Chan rushed to him instantly, picking him up off the floor in front of your room, 
“Han!” Chan called out to him, “Han talk to me what happened?” only then did Chan look up, and see what Jisung was sobbing over. “Felix.” Chan held back his tears as much as he could as he looked to Jisung, “Felix come here and shut the fucking door to her room, shut it- shut it now!” He yelled out, as Felix rushed to the door, Hyunjin let go of his girlfriends hand, making his way slowly to your door but Jisung looked up and glared. 
“Get out.” He spat, “Get out!” 
“H-Han” Hyunjin said in confusion, 
“GET OUT HYUNJIN GET THE FUCK OUT YOU DON’T GET TO SEE HER, YOU DON’T GET TO FUCKING SEE HER” He screamed, attempting to lunge at Hyunjin, “IT’S YOUR FAULT- IT’S YOUR FAULT SHE’S DEAD- IT’S YOUR FAULT!” Jisung was yelling on pure adrenaline, his mind wasn’t processing the words he was saying to his best friend. He needed someone to blame, and Hyunjin just seemed like the best answer. 
“FELIX! CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR” Minho yelled out, 
“Dead..” Hyunjin looks into your room just as Felix closes the door, the only glimpse of you he got was your hand hanging off the bed. Jisung’s screams were interrupted by more coughing, petals spilling out of his mouth as he clutched his chest, heaving. It took a moment to process but it clicked. You were gone. and Jisung was dying. 
“Uh, guys. We uh- we can’t leave her like that.” Seungmin sighs, as tears slowly stream down his face. “I’m going to go call the cops.” 
You never got to put the card explaining to Jisung to wait a week before giving out the letters. It lay in your room while the box lay collecting dust in the living room. Where everyone sat waiting for the authorities to arrive. Minho was ultimately the one to hand out the letters to everyone sitting around. 
No one read them until they had gone home. 
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The funeral was nice. Jisung thought there was a terrible irony in the flower arrangement that decorated your casket. To die by roses, only to be buried with them in the end. You’d have hated it. The group hadn’t really seen each other since that day. Some of them had tried checking up on Jisung having learned of his condition but he simply ignored them. He couldn’t bring himself to tell them he’d be meeting the same fate because everyone had the same questions. ‘Who is it Jisung? Maybe if we tell them.’ No one noticed how Jisung loved you. 
He stood alongside your family, as guests came and went paying their respects to your family, him as your lifelong best friend included. Chan came up first, said a few words to everyone before he disappeared back into the crowd. Seungmin and Jeonging were next. Minho and Changbin followed after. When Jisung had spotted Hyunjin making his way up slowly to your family he half expected his girlfriend to be following along, but she made no appearance. You never did give his name to your family. You didn’t want them to blame him. 
Jisung wanted to blame him, but he knew he couldn’t. Hyunjin just didn’t know. It wasn’t a lack of caring, it was the complete lack of knowledge and Jisung couldn’t blame him for that. 
“My name is Hwang Hyunjin,” he said softly, “I’m-” he choked on his words, “I did it to her-” he sobbed, bringing his hands up to cover his face as he hid in shame from your family, “I didn’t know- I swear- If I had-” your mother places a hand on his shoulder, in attempt to comfort him, 
“It wasn’t your fault,” was all she could say as Hyunjin sobbed. Jisung excuses himself from your family, motioning for Hyunjin to follow him. The two of them find an empty hallway to talk in. 
“Jisung?” Hyunjin sniffles, as he tries to wipe away his tears that seemingly won’t stop. 
“I watched her fall in love with you Hyunjin. I watched her love you with everything she had in her.” Jisung coughs, it hurts to cough up the tiny followers you loved so much. Would he be the next to go? Probably. Hyunjin’s eyes grow wide as he watches the dainty petals fall from Jisung’s lips. Tiny blue and purple petals- covered in spit and blood.
Jisung was tired. He was so tired.  
“You know she hid it from us all? She died alone Hyune,” He takes a deep breath in, Hyunjin could see the way Jisung struggles to breathe- two people. Two people in his life with the same disease, how could he have been so blind to it? 
“I-” Hyunjin stutters, it was his fault. It was all his fault. “I didn’t know- If I had known Jisung- I could have-”  
“That’s not how love works Hyunjin and you know it. She didn’t tell you because she didn’t want you to pity her, she didn’t tell you because she didn’t want you to force yourself to love her because she was dying.” Jisung lets out another loud cough. “I’m sorry you know?” 
“Sorry?” Hyunjin mutters, “For what? I should be the one apologizing.” 
“For saying it was your fault she died-” Jisung sighs, “It wasn’t, I should have noticed but it wasn’t your fault. She hid it for a reason.” 
“You know, the worst part is- I can’t win in this situation,” Hyunjin sighs as he leans against the wall, sinking down to the ground. “If I had known she liked me, I’d have asked her out-” Jisung looks to him confused, “I always thought she just saw me as a friend- as someone she was close to- never- as someone she could love like that.” Jisung watches as Hyunjin takes out a crumpled piece of paper out of his coat pocket, “Didn’t know till she wrote it all out and she was gone. Should have seen Jisu’s reaction when she found out.” 
“How is she by the way?” Jisung asks, 
“Wouldn’t know, we broke up. Couldn’t be with her after I killed someone- She couldn’t handle knowing her friend died because of me either. She liked Y/N a lot. They weren’t that close but she liked her.” Hyunjin shakily hands over the piece of paper to Jisung. 
Hyunjin, 
Where do I even start? I guess, I start with I’m sorry. Probably should have told everyone sooner. I hope you’re not blaming yourself. If you are- please don’t. Please, please don’t. It’s not your fault. You know, since they told me I had the gene, I was warned. Warned to keep my heart guarded, warned to keep myself safe, not to love just anyone. I don’t regret it you know? I don’t at all. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t expect you to tear down those walls I had so quickly, but still, I don’t regret letting you in. 
I guess you probably have a lot of questions huh? 
Firstly yes, your shirtlessness when we first met did traumatise me :) kidding. But seriously. I’m sure you have so many questions that I wish I could just answer for you but- they’re a bit complicated.  So ill answer the ones I can think of right now, 
Does it hurt? Unfortunately. These kinds of flowers are, beautiful. Truly a symbol of love, but also dangerous and-, I can feel them in my lungs. It does hurt but it's bearable. 
How long? I think the first time I coughed up a petal was when you first asked out Jisu. How long had I been into you? Well, I’m not sure, to be honest. I think I took a liking to you after we had met, but I definitely knew when we would spend days together in your studio and I’d watch you get lost in your canvass. (I hope you’re still painting, by the way, you’re so talented. Don’t ever stop please.) 
Am I scared? Terribly. I wish I told one of you sooner so I don’t have to do this alone- Jinnie I’m terrified.
Why didn’t I tell you? For a lot of reasons but honestly, because you looked so happy with Jisu! Gosh, I hope you two are okay right now- selfish of me to be confessing to you over a letter after I straight up died, but honestly, wholeheartedly I hope the two of you are happy! You deserve to love and be loved. I’ve never met anyone who sees so much beauty in falling in love- who thinks of it in such a fairytale way. You deserve to be happy, so I guess that’s why I didn’t say anything. She loves you, and you her. And knowing that you’re happy makes it easier for me to leave. 
Jisung pushes the paper back to Hyunjin, he can’t read anymore. 
“You know, she ended it with ‘I love you Jinnie, live happily for me, and love strongly for me’ and I couldn’t even do that for her,” Hyunjin says softly, Jisung could tell he was breaking inside. Jisung could also tell he’d read through that letter like his life depended on it, like it would keep him grounded. 
“You have time to live happily Hyune- to love for her. You still have time,” Jisung says, 
“What about you-” Hyunjin could feel the tears threatening to breach again, he couldn’t lose another person. Maybe he could help Jisung, maybe he could do something- anything to save him. 
“They can’t love me back.” He sighs, “It’s fine.” 
“Who is it?” Hyunjin asks, “Maybe we could talk to them or something. We both saw how not saying anything ends, maybe if we just get you to talk to-”
“I can’t Hyunjin,” Jisung says somewhat aggressively, “She can never love me back, it was too late even before-”
“No- Maybe they can! Maybe we can-” Hyunjin panics as he cuts off Jisung, he can’t lose his best friend, he can’t. “We- we can-” 
“HYUNJIN SHES DEAD. SHE CAN’T.” Jisung shouts, and it clicks for Hyunjin, “Sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled, you’re scared and hurting. I know you just want to help but-” Jisung choked as he coughed, “There’s no helping this one and I think what hurts the most Hyune- is that loving you killed her faster than loving her is killing me," Jisung sighs, 
"What do you mean?" 
"I found her in full bloom. She had a rose bush growing inside her, thorns and all" Jisung sighs, “Roses out of her mouth, and chest- You know people romanticize it like it’s some beautiful display, but no one seems to remember how much blood comes with your chest bursting with flowers.” Jisung shutters. 
"R-roses.." Hyunjin stutters
"Yeah- fuck I shouldn’t have said that- sorry." 
"No- I just- wish I knew sooner." Hyunjin is about to burst, with more tears. He knows what Jisung is saying isn’t to place blame on him, but to help him understand what he was going through- what you went through, he also knew Jisung didn’t always know how to explain his feelings fully- but it didn’t make it hurt any less, it didn’t make him blame himself any less either  "What about you then-"
"Forget me not’s. small, but invasive. they spread fast - definitely not as painful as a rose but- still they hurt.  I’ll have them removed soon.” Jisung sighs, 
“You’re gonna do the surgery?” Hyunjin looks to Jisung, like he has some sort of hope in his eyes, and it kills Jisung inside, but he simply nods. 
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It was getting harder to breathe as he stared down at the contract. Jisung knew this would be it. Removing them would only lead to him forgetting you. Forgetting how he loved you. Forgetting your smile, your laugh. How when you were happy you’d scrunch your nose. Or when you were upset or sad or had too much on your mind your leg would bounce subtly. 
Would Hyunjin had noticed all of these things? 
God. Jisung thought to himself. He should have just told you. 
He stared down at the contract once more, A violent coughing fit threatened to breach but he knew it wouldn’t ever feel better. The roots were already too far gone, hugging his lungs tight. Every day he could feel the small purple and blue forget-me-nots making their way up his throat threatening to burst out of his chest and mouth in full bloom. 
Slowly he rises from his seat. 
It’s time. 
Jisung never did sign the contract. Opting to go home. Lay down. And hug your sweater and one other thing that reminded him of you. 
“You always said you’d follow me to the ends of the earth” You smiled, a gentle one at him as get let out a breath. “Lets go?” and he did, he followed you to the ends of the earth. 
Hyunjin couldn’t even scream, something blocked out the screams he so desperately wanted to let out. His heart shattered. He could feel the physical pain of it breaking within his chest.
 Hyunjin found Jisung clutching a photo of you and him as kids. On the back, in pen, he had written his last words. 
If I have to let you go, I’d rather be dead.
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