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nocturnal-milk-dud · 3 years

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Call Me: Chapter 2

That’s right. Chapters. I can’t believe I’m doing this to myself.

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Pairing: Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales x Reader (in memory only)

Summary: The morning after the party, Benny takes you out for breakfast. Things don’t go the way you expect.

Rating: PG

Warnings/notes: swearing; I would just like to mention that I am undefeated in rock paper scissors with my boss. He refuses to play it now.

Word count: 1435

You wrenched one eye open to see Checkers looking down at you, her paw pushing down on your forehead, just above your right eye. She let out a soft squeak.

“Scram,” you said, waving her away. She stepped off of you and curled up next to you on the bed, staring at you, waiting.

“I told you last night was a bad idea,” you said, rubbing her side. She rolled, showing you her belly. “You hungry?”

You watched your eggs cook on the stove, the smell of coffee filling the kitchen. You had turned on music to drown out the silence. You’d also managed to spill the salt, and found yourself thinking back to one of the many mornings with Frankie in your kitchen. You’d spilled the salt then too, and, being superstitious about some things, you threw some over your left shoulder--and hit Frankie in the eye. He had been coming up behind you to hug you good morning and instead he’d been pelted with salt first thing. You had laughed so hard tears sprang into your eyes, breathlessly apologizing to Frankie.

“It’s so funny on its own,” you’d said when you’d calmed down, “but you know the whole reason people throw salt over their shoulder? It’s to blind the devil.” Frankie had been rinsing his eyes with water and he looked up at you, still leaning over the sink, squinting his eyes. You’d watched as he shut the tap off and straightened up, his head tilted to the side as he stared at you.

“Are you calling me the devil, querida?”

“No, you said that,” you had said, backtracking figuratively and literally because Frankie was moving closer to you. “I just thought, ya know, because I blinded you…” He nodded, a grin spreading across his face as you fumbled your sentence, and he caged you against the refrigerator.

All that happened this time was the salt hitting the floor with a soft bristle.

There was a knock at your door and you groaned, tilting your head up to the ceiling.

“It’s too fucking early for whatever this is,” you said. You opened the door just a crack and saw Benny standing on the other side.

“And what are you doing here?” you asked. Benny held his hands up in a “what did I do” shrug, a disappointed frown replacing the smile.

“We’re getting breakfast,” he said like you should have expected this. “We talked about it last night when I called.”

“No, see, you said we’d get breakfast, I said no, and you said you’d come pick me up anyway.”

“So why aren’t you dressed?” Benny said, earning a glare from you.

Benny coaxed you with music on the way to the restaurant, playing songs he knew you liked, trying to pull you out of your funk. He sang along himself, nudging you to join in, and you felt a begrudging smile tug at your lips. Eventually you gave in, and the two of you rolled into a parking space singing at the top of your lungs. Inside, you learned a surprise was waiting for you. You heard Benny tell the hostess that the two of you had friends there who’d already got a table, and you came up on Santiago and Will sitting in a booth. Hugs were exchanged and you and Benny sat down across from them, your heart feeling lighter already. The four of you ordered a bunch of food, sharing it with each other, a tradition started when you and the Millers were young, and soon you all were laughing.

“How are you still eating?” Santiago asked you. He was slouched in the corner, looking like he was going to have to be rolled out of the restaurant.

“I love breakfast,” you said. You and Will reached for the last bite of a strawberry crêpe at the same time, and you looked up at him, an expression of mock outrage on your face.

“Alright, William. You wanna do this, huh?” He raised his eyebrows, tilting his head to the side, grinning at you.

“What is happening right now?” Santiago said, looking back and forth between the two of you. You and Will set your forks down and leaned in over the table, staring intensely into each other’s eyes.

“Two out of three?” Will asked.

“Of course,” you said, as if it was a stupid thing to ask. Both of you held up your fists.

“She’s undefeated,” you heard Benny whisper to Santiago, and the corner of your mouth pulled up in a proud smirk.

“Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!” you both said together. You won the first round, but it didn’t matter. Benny swept in and took the last piece.

“Dude!” Will said, throwing his napkin at Benny.

“We have rules! Two or more people want the last bite of something, you have to play for it, that’s how it goes. You broke the rules, you’re buying,” you said.

“Unbelievable,” Will said.

“Yeah, unbelievable, Benjamin,” Santiago said, looking at Benny sternly and shaking his head. Everyone was silent for a moment, and your gaze shifted from one man to the next, watching the smiles creep into their faces, and then your corner of the restaurant was alive with sound as the four of you collapsed into fits of laughter.

The table was cleared except for coffee cups and water glasses, and the four of you had settled back into your seats, full and happy. Eventually, Will cleared his throat and sat forward, resting his elbows on the table.

“Listen,” he said to you, “about last night…”

“What about last night?” you asked, discomfort suddenly stirring in your gut. Will looked at Santi and Benny.

“We talked to Fish after you left,” he said finally.

“Okay,” you said, the feeling worsening. Where was this going? Wasn’t this breakfast part of Benny’s plan to make you feel better?

“He broke down and told us everything. He told us why he left,” Santiago said. Benny was quiet, staring down at his coffee.

“We think you should talk to him,” Will said. “Let him explain. He’s really broken up about the whole thing, and it might do you some good to hear what he has to say.”

“What is this? A relationship intervention?” you demanded. Santiago said your name, reaching his hand out across the table in an appeasing gesture.

“He’s really broken up about the whole thing,” you repeated. Will started to speak again, but you interrupted him. “Don’t you dare tell me how he feels when it doesn’t seem like you’ve stopped to think about how I feel. He left me and then you all disappeared. I’d never felt more alone in my life and now you’re telling me I’m supposed to care how he feels?” The table was silent and none of you looked at each other. It was hard to believe that just a few moments ago you were all laughing.

“I don’t owe him a thing. He had the chance to explain, but he just left instead.” You got to your feet and took a deep breath. “I love all of you, but this is between me and Frankie, and what’s done is done.” You started to walk away and then the realization hit you. You turned around and looked at Benny.

“You drove me here,” you said awkwardly.

“I can’t believe you roped me into that,” you said to Benny. The two of you were back in his car and the radio was turned off. He had been driving in silence for some time when it became too much for you to take. Benny sighed and pulled over to the curb, putting the car in park. He turned to face you.

“Listen,” he said, “you are the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. Ever since we were kids, your pride ruled everything. You’re right, Fish should have talked to you. Maybe if he had you two could’ve figured things out together. But you two could be happy, right now. Why are you so set on keeping yourself miserable?”

“What did he say last night?” you asked after letting his words sink in.

“Nope,” Benny said, pulling back out onto the street and turning the radio on. “Gotta go to the source for that one.”

taglist: @dodgerandevans @slugbuggie @reading-rosa @bi-son-writes @souls-rain @heythere-mel @pascaliprincess @vanthrefrigeration @icanbeyourjedi @queenofspades20 @godohammers @mandodjarinn @this-cat-is-dea @chasingdreamer @that-sarcastic-pisces

#i hope i got everyone for the tag list #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales fic #frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #catfish morales fic #catfish morales #triple frontier #benny miller #will miller #will ironhead miller #santiago pope garcia #pedro pascal #garrett hedlund #charlie hunnam

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sw1mmingfoolz · 2 years

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So... This is gonna be long... I apologize... And of course if it's too much you can only do the ones you want, that's fine too ☺️

For the song ask:

9,11,13,18,19,23,25,28,30,31,32,33

hello! sorry it took so long for me to get to this i was doing some thinking hehe, here are some recs >:)

9. a song that makes you happy

daisy - bye bye badman

it's like a warm hug on a sunny day; the vocals are absolutely heavenly 🥺 insanely underrated band!

11. a song you never get tired of

mouths like sidewinder missiles - the fall of troy

i know, screaming definitely isn't to everyone's tastes! i am not a screamo fan myself actually but this album is next level and i would choose all of it if i could. my first tattoo is gonna be the album cover! i chose this song especially because it's my favourite - the guitars fading in and out in the last half are incredible and make me feel ascended lol.

13. one of your favourite 80’s songs

alone - heart

i'm more of a 90s gal, but this is a classic :)

18. a song from the year you were born

survivor - destiny's child

i don't think that many great songs came out in 2001 lmao? but survivor forever slaps

19. a song that makes you think about life

the burn marks on my epiano won't go away - a l e x

basically all a l e x songs but this one has been my "pondering at 5am" jam for years now

23. a song that you think everyone should listen to

hug - seventeen

as if they wrote a song telling you you're doing a good job, makes me tear up every time 😭 literally feels like a hug.

25. a song that reminds you of springtime

monolove - bye bye badman

oops two by the same band 🤪 not my fault their songs are major spring jams!

28. a song by an artist with a voice you love

howlin' 404 - dean

maybe i am crazy for not picking something off 130 MOOD which is my second favourite album of all time (if not tied first!) but his songs are all incredible and this one is underrated imo

30. a song that reminds you of yourself

short kings anthem - tmg

self explanatory i think

31. a song that is bittersweet

laundry - youra

i sing this in my vocal lessons and it always makes me emotional! the lyrics are so sweet but so sad, beautiful all around. also youra has a gorgeous voice 🥺

32. a song that no one thinks you would like but you do

leflaur leflah eshkoshka - heltah skeltah / o.g.c (fab 5)

like all hip hop because i'm the whitest girl ever and have been a goth since i was a kid lol, i am huge into boom bap / 90s east coast rap and my sister is constantly like 🤨 over it lmfaooo

33. wildcard! a song recommendation!

dogfight - night tempo

any future funk if you wanna know joy actually lmao, all of night tempo's stuff is impossible to not dance to!

thank you sm for asking, i hope there's a new song to be found in here somewhere hehe 💞

#a/n #ask game #a: anon #my music taste is varied i swear #most of it is korean tho tbf #atm it's just skz lmfao

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senacal · 4 years

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Hey! Would u wanna write one where right after cuba in the hospital charles asks her to sing to him, and all she can remember is an old song from sweden (slightly personalized in that, i hope you dont mind!!) called Flyktsoda by ebba grön, she sings in swedish and he translates lyrics by telepathy. she ends up kinda confessing with the line "dont be scared of me, i am so scared of you" bcz shes a bit scary and mad all the time but shes super weak for charles. then u can decide how it ends 🥺🥺

Request: Requested by Anon

Pairing: Charles Xavier x Fem! Reader

Prompt: Hey! Would u wanna write one where right after Cuba in the hospital Charles asks her to sing to him, and all she can remember is an old song from Sweden (slightly personalized in that, I hope you don’t mind!!) called Flyktsoda by Ebba grön, she sings in Swedish and he translates lyrics by telepathy. she ends up kinda confessing with the line "don’t be scared of me, I am so scared of you" bcz she’s a bit scary and mad all the time but shes super weak for Charles. then u can decide how it ends 🥺🥺

Warnings: self deprecation? Charles isn’t okay and neither is the reader

Author’s Note: I don’t mind at all ^.^ I listened to the song and it was super catchy, even better when I found out what the lyrics translated to (I speak no ounce of Swedish lol 😅) Sorry it took so long btw, I fell into a funk but here I am, forcing myself out 😬

Requests Are Open!

After the events of Cuba, Charles hadn’t been the same. He wasn’t to blame, of course, his whole world had changed with a single bullet. It was heartbreaking to witness the once cheerful man turn into this broken person. He plastered on a smile when he needed to and he pretended to be the same cheeky man, but (Y/N) knew it was an act. Not only had he lost his legs, but he also lost Raven and his best friend Erik that day. Despite Erik being capable of making his own choices, Charles blamed himself for what happened. He blamed himself relentlessly and it annoyed (Y/N) because she knew the turmoil it was giving the man. She hated seeing Charles putting himself through that self-inflicting guilt.

No matter how many times (Y/N) or Hank tried to tell him it wasn’t his fault, Charles still continued to place the blame on himself. Charles did stop communicating that guilt out loud around them when they visited him in the hospital, but (Y/N) was willing to bet that it still resided in the back of his mind. She didn’t have to be a telepath to know that because she could easily see it in his eyes. She liked to think that she knew him well enough through everything they’ve gone through together.

Before Cuba, Charles and Erik had found her working a tireless job to keep herself off of the streets. She was barely scraping by and she lived in a crappy one-bedroom apartment. It was located in the bad part of town and the crime rates were skyrocketing, but the mayor didn’t care to fix that. So she suppressed her powers and forced herself to fight for what little she had. She couldn’t afford for her landlord to figure out that she was a mutant and kick her out. Thankfully her mutation was easy to hide, as long as her emotions were kept intact. The only hint at her mutant powers was the growing life around her wherever she went, meaning, she could manipulate plant life either with a thought or a simple touch. It aggravated her to see people treat the plants in her neighborhood soo poorly.

When Erik and Charles first went to collect her, she couldn't understand what they would want with a girl like her. She was on the verge of homelessness, worked a dead-end job, and had a criminal record. The charges against her weren’t too serious, a couple of shoplifting charges and she might have beat a guy up here and there who tried to attack her. But regardless, she knew she wouldn’t fit in with the others Charles and Erik had recruited. So when she met them, she glared her way through each conversation and ignored the CIA’s requests. But for some reason, Charles managed to worm his way into her heart. Maybe it was his charming smile that should have annoyed her or his eyes that were shockingly blue. Or maybe it was the fact that he understood her even though he was the complete opposite of her. Whatever it was, Charles was the only one who had seen her softer side.

It was almost funny seeing Hank’s shocked face when he witnessed her caring side for the first time. They had both decided to visit Charles in the hospital when Charles had asked for a small favor, some comfortable clothes, and (Y/N) had readily offered to get them. Hank was possibly more surprised than was necessary. (Y/N) did nice things! The other day she helped Erik with his powers, granted that was before he betrayed them and Hank wasn’t there to witness it. Now though, (Y/N) reserved her soft spot for Charles. Hank seemed to understand, he didn’t make any comments about it; but that was probably because when Alex did, (Y/N) manipulated the roots of a tree to keep him stuck for a whole night until Charles turned a disapproving eye on her. He learned his lesson after that though.

But that was all before Cuba. Now it was just (Y/N), Hank, Alex, Banshee, and Charles. But even Banshee and Alex went their own way. (Y/N) couldn’t say where they went, she wasn’t sure. But she did know that their departure had added to Charles’ grief and guilt. She made it her duty to stay by his side while he was in the hospital, a reassurance that she wouldn’t leave him. Charles had turned her into this soft mushy person and it scared her shitless. She couldn’t remember the last time she had loved someone. But the thought of him leaving or being taken away terrified her. Charles terrified her. But she pulled herself together so he wouldn’t realize anything was wrong, he didn’t need any extra guilt.

(Y/N) sat next to Charles's bedside, a book in her hands to keep her busy while Charles slept. She arrived early that day because of the construction happening on the street where the hospital was located and she didn’t want to be late. She wasn’t expecting Charles to be awake which was why she brought the book. She was immersed in the story when Charles woke up, which is why he surprised her.

“You’re here early,” He spoke groggily.

The flowers’ leaves on the other side of Charles’s bedside shot out of their vase and wrapped around Charles’s wrist, forcing it flush against the bed. (Y/N) might have gotten startled since she was distracted. She looked up with a guilty smile and released his wrist when he gave her an unamused look. “Sorry, you scared me,” She grumbled.

“It’s alright, love,” Charles rubbed his wrist. He hadn’t expected the grip to hurt since they were tulip leaves.

“How’d you sleep?” (Y/N) set the book in her hands aside and shifted so she could face Charles.

“Okay, I guess. I’m ready to get out of here,” He shrugged. He adjusted the bed so he could sit up.

“I can ask the doctor when you can be released if you’d like?” (Y/N) offered.

‘No, it’s okay,” Charles waved her off, “I’d much rather keep your company a little longer,” He smiled.

(Y/N) nodded, a faint smile on her lips. “Of course,” She drummed her fingers on her lap. “Did you need anything? The nurse? More medicine? Food?”

“I’m alright for now, thanks though… Can I ask you a question?” Charles hesitated.

“Yeah, anything.”

“Do you mind if, you can say no, but do you mind if I ask you to sing me a song? I’ve been quite bored here and the radio stations are rather crappy and there’s never anything good on the telly,” He rambled.

“Oh, uh,” (Y/N) furrowed her brows, what song would she sing?

“Never mind, it was weird of me to ask, you don’t-”

“No, I’ll sing for you uh, Is it okay if it’s in Sweden? I can’t really remember any songs right now,” (Y/N)’s cheeks flushed and her fingers began to fidget in her lap.

“I don’t mind,” He smiled kindly.

(Y/N) nodded and cleared her throat, here went nothing, “Lyckan kommer, lyckan går. Dom säger tiden läker sår. Jag släcker lampor. Jag öppnar fönster. Letar efter mönster. Jag kommer aldrig. Jag kommer aldrig, kommer. Kommer aldrig komma hem.”

‘Happiness comes, happiness goes. They say that time heals wounds. I turn off lamps, I open windows. Searching after patterns, I will never, I will never, will never come home,’ Charles lay back in his bed, his eyes closing as his mind translated the lyrics for him, one of the better aspects of his telepathy, the ability to understand any language.

“Flyktsoda, ta mig i hand. Sätt mig i brand, ibland ibland ibland. Flyktsoda ta mig i land. Sätt mig i brand, ibland ibland ibland,” (Y/N) could feel her stomach flipping, her chest filling with anxiety. She hadn’t realized how much this song actually meant until now. She hadn’t been happy before Charles came into her life. She was merely going through the motions, living because it was expected of her, but with Charles, hell even Hank, they gave her a reason to keep going. Only Charles was her reason for staying.

‘Escapesoda take my hand. Set me on fire, sometimes sometimes sometimes. Escapesoda bring me to shore. Set me on fire, sometimes sometimes sometimes,’ Charles inhaled deeply, (Y/N)’s voice soothing the ache in his chest. He appreciated everything she has done for him while he was hospitalized. If it weren’t for her, he was sure he wouldn’t have made it out in one piece. He barely made it with her there, but her persistent presence kept him grounded and kept him from falling into despair.

“Var inte rädd för mig. Jag är så rädd för dig,” (Y/N)’s voice stuttered over the words. They pierced her heart when she sang them. They rang true and she was afraid it revealed just how much Charles affected her.

“Don't be afraid of me. I'm so afraid of you,” Charles's eyes opened when he heard the vulnerability in her voice. He looked at her with questioning eyes, he almost felt bad when he read what she was thinking.

“Do you really think that I am afraid of you?” He asked softly.

“I, well, everyone else was, why not you too? I hurt you just a little while ago,” She pointed to his wrist.

Charles's wrist was rubbed raw from the leaf, but it wasn’t too bad, plus he had startled her, “I startled you, it wasn’t your fault.”

“That’s not the point Charles, I’ve done some bad things so why wouldn’t you fear me?”

“You fought to protect yourself. You are so much more than your powers, (Y/N). You’re magnificent, you’re amazing.” Charles wished he could reassure her and comfort her more, but his fucking legs couldn’t move. He shifted as best as he could, “Now why do you fear me?” He wondered.

(Y/N)’s heart was racing, she swore her heartbeat was louder than the heart monitor attached to Charles. “I- you don’t- why-” She ran her hand through her hair. “If I tell you, promise me this won’t change anything between us, okay? You’re all I have and I can’t lose you as a friend.” She spoke softly.

Charles nodded, “You could never lose me.”

(Y/N) bit her lip, wondering how to start. How does one even tell the person they love they fear them because of the hold they have on their heart? Charles managed to shove his way into her life and now she couldn’t picture her life without him in it. “I fear you because how easily you fit into my life,” She looked up at him, tears in her eyes, though she didn’t know why she was crying, shame maybe? “For a long time now it’s been just me, I had nobody, my parents didn’t want me, my landlord was looking for any reason to evict me, my co-workers were all selfish assholes, and I’ve been attacked countless times by men in the streets. I made sure no one could misuse my trust and I made sure no one could hurt me, but here you are,” She wiped a stray tear that ran down her cheek, “You pushed through the walls I’ve built and now I’m afraid to lose you.”

(Y/N) ran her hand through her hair again, she probably looked so pathetic to Charles.

“You could never look pathetic,” Charles reached his hand out to her which (Y/N) hesitantly took, “I know I said this wouldn’t change anything, but perhaps it can change just a little?”

(Y/N)’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“Perhaps once I get out of here we can go on a date?” Charles asked nervously, “You don’t have to agree, and we can continue like normal, but now that I know for sure that you harbor feelings towards me maybe we can-”

(Y/N) stood from her seat to press her lips to Charles’s cutting off his ramblings. She pulled away from the kiss and smiled, “I’d love to go on a date with you.”

Charles grinned, almost looking like his old cheeky self. He might have lost some things in Cuba, but he gained something too. He’d be damned if he let (Y/N) be taken away from him too. “I hope you know you’re stuck with me now.”

“I guess I can live with that,” (Y/N) laughed, “But promise me one thing okay?” At Charles nodded, (Y/N) continued, “Never tell anyone that I sang to you.”

Charles laughed despite her serious look, “I promise not to tell anyone.”

#Charles Xavier #charles xavier x reader #charles xavier x fem reader #x men x reader #X-men #x-men x reader #x-men x fem reader #mutant reader

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anyways-wonderwall · 3 years

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Album of the Week #17

Amigos

(1976)

By Santana

Overall Rating: 9/10

TL;DR: Jam songs that are super approachable; they go by fast and each is unique and exciting.

Before this my only exposure to Santana has been three songs: "Black Magic Woman", "Evil Ways", and the legendary masterpiece that is "Smooth". Obviously these are his most famous songs but each one of them are so good that I am shocked that it took me this long to check out Santana, especially given how much I love Mexican music from this time (get ready for more reviews).

All I can say is that the random number generator chose wisely this week because it has exposed me to an artist that I now adore.

General Thoughts

God why have I lived so much of my life without Santana playing the background. While not every single one of these songs are my favorite, they are all spectacular in their own ways.

My first lesson I thought this would just be another jam album with songs that seem to stretch on forever and get obnoxiously repetitive. As a musician I love playing that kind of music but every time I listen to it I notice myself thinking "okay we've done that phrase 50 times already its time to move on". I was pleasantly surprised that I did not get that with this album. While there is repetition in that jam style here, every time it feels new enough that I don't mind it, if anything it makes the song better as familiarity makes your brain happy.

Each song is also around 5 minutes and longer which usually would annoy me as again, it's just the same phrase for 5 minutes straight. Each of these songs seem to fly by though and I would have places them at four minutes max. The entire album is 41 minutes but it only feels like 20. You can feel time slipping away as the music keeps you fully occupied from start to finish. It is a feat on its own, but especially to keep my ADD brain so focused.

And the songs themselves? God are they incredible. The opening track "Dance Sister Dance (Baila mi hermana)" is so catchy really lives up to the name. Like you know what? I wanna bailar right now. This song also has two distinct parts to it, and I really liked the first part. The second isn't bad, it just doesn't have the structure or fun that the first does.

A lot of the songs on this album have two parts, another being "Take me with you", which has a meh first part but absolutely killer second part. It has a great bass part too, just like "Let Me" which really said "it's funk time" with some killer instrumentals.

This album as a whole had a lot more funk in it than I expected, with "Let it Shine being the best example of that. It has those little tinny electric guitar chords and a weird synth sound that I really can't tell if I like. It also, like almost every song on this album, uses a choir for most of its vocals, which I again can't tell if I like. Some songs it works so well (like this one and "Tell Me Are You Tired"), but others ("Let Me") it just feels a tad corny. I suppose part of that comes from me being unfamiliar with it, but for now it feels too churchy at parts.

While all of these songs make me feel happy and relaxed my all time favorite is "Tell Me Are You Tired". The intro screams "sexy time" which I love, and the baseline just does not quit. While the chorus is a little bit intense and not as chill as the beginning of the song, the bridge and intro are so good that I don't care too much.

Final Verdict

Here's the thing, all of these songs are great, but I didn't find myself liking a lot of the on Spotify because they don't have much "one off listen" value. Like if I put all my music on shuffle and one of these songs came up there's a pretty good chance I'd skip it. At the same time though, I know I will come back and listen to this album tons of times. Overall this is a damn good album that is worth a listen if you like those three songs I mentioned in the intro, although it's too early for me to say whether this is a good representation of Santana or not.

#album 17 #album of the week #santana #carlos santana #classic rock #amigos santana #album review #album recommendation #music review

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irenereru · 3 years

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For the Daft Punk asks: 1993-2021.

Yes, Irene. I want you to answer all of them (except the ones you don’t want to answer, of course ❤️).

/2B

Well well well, this is gonna take a while! I already answered 2011 to 2013 in this ask right here, so I’ll be skipping those!

1993: When did you first hear about Daft Punk? That’s an odd question, and hard to answer.

During my childhood I KNOW I heard songs like Around The World, Music Sounds Better With You, One More Time, Harder Better Faster Stronger, and Technologic later on.

It wasn’t until around 2011 when I had my first contact with Daft Punk, when on a restaurant, on a TV in the background, One More Time was playing. I could not hear the song, but the visuals catched my attention and I became fascinated. Sadly, I did not catch who’s song was that, nor the title.

It wasn’t until Get Lucky and RAM released that I FINALLY figured out who Daft Punk were. The moment I saw the robots, when I rediscovered and watched Interstella 5555 in it’s entirety in one setting, then, was when i got hooked up to them, forever.

1994: What do you find most striking about the band? THE ROBOTS! I love the dessigns, they have SO MUC PERSONALITY. But other things I love are, obviously, their music, the “not giving a shit” actitude, and the way they worked. That’s something I admire a lot, keeping control of your works. As an artist myself, it’s something that can be really important and can help you out in the future.

1995: Do you have any favorite music videos? I love Interstella 5555 with my whole heart. The Homework MVs, specially Burnin’, hold a special place in my heart. I love that in Burnin’ the boys make a cameo for a split second, wearing odd costumes and wigs.

1996: What do you think about the Homework album? Pretty good! I love house music, and it’s certainly the album that introduced me to the genre, so... Da Funk, Around The World, they’re just absolute BANGERS. The “harder” songs on the album aren’t really my thing, tho...

1997: What do you think about Alive 1997? A bit bare-bones, not gonna lie. It’s like 45 minutes long. That’s not a lot. It certainly is something of it’s time. What I love the most are the scarce pictures and videos of that era of them playing live. You can REALLY tell they’re having a blast, specially Thomas.

1998: Do you have any favorite remixes/mash-ups? Their remix of Chord Memory is certainly one of my favorites. It really gives you a... Something. It feels like it’s telling a story, with it’s change of tone later on and then mashing both. Also, that WDPK 83.7 reference!

1999: Has your opinion of the band changed over time? Not really. It just started high and they stay high as my favorite band/musicians. They’re extremely inspiring, specially for the fact they did so many different things, but all feeling so unique to them at the same time. Them also being nice people and supporting of social rights and the LGBT community is certainly a great plus!

2000: Do you have a favorite ‘era’ of Daft Punk? Discovery. It’s the most fun, colorfull, and the one they seemed more “silly”. The robots appeared in their rainbowy marvel and odd/oversized clothes.

2001: What do you think about the Discovery album? It’s My FAVORITE! There are barely no songs I dislike. It have so many different vibes, feelings, you have vocal tracks and instrumental tracks, all with the same quality... And my favorite song from them, Something About Us, is from that album.

2002: Has Daft Punk inspired you creatively? Absolutely. Like, 100%.

2003: What do you think about Interstella 5555? They could’ve worked on that lip-sink a bit better, it’s something that ALWAYS pulls me off. But aside from that, it’s a great concept, and a very special animated film. You can tell there was a lot of care put on it.

2004: Are there any lyrics in particular that stuck with you? Within. That song just, resonates so much with me. Check out my other post with answers, I talk in depth about it!

2005: What do you think about the Human After All album? You can tell it was made in 2 weeks. They were angry, frustrated. And you get a lot of “Thomas Vibe” in that. It feels like it wasn’t a good time for them and it’s reflected in the album.

2006: What do you think about the Musique album? The only good thing from it is that they FINALLY re-released Musique and those remixes! Also, in the special version, you get the Interstella 5555 DVD, which is how I got the movie myself physically!

2007: What do you think about Alive 2007? It’s just great. I wish there was an official version of the entire concert edited by them, where you could see the visuals, the vibes, and the boys all in one enjoying themselves. I’m sad I couldn’t go see them, but at the time I just did not know who they were, and I was only 11. I remember seeing their pyramid on TV when they came to Spain in 2006! I thought it looked really extra, and it really is.

2008: What do you think about Electroma? It’s heartcrushing. I have the feeling they could’ve cutted the ending a little, and I don’t really get why of the dunes looking like a woman and going like, inside the vagina... But still. Also, I can not laugh when they wear the human masks. They’re so ugly x’D Is that how they see themselves?

The bathroom scene ALWAYS gets me. GM08 getting extremely mad and frustrated, while TB3 tries to hold on to what’s left until it can’t be recovered... That says SO MUCH about them, about the robots, as characters and people. You can really get what they’re feeling.

The ending, though... That ending. My god. Everyone always talks about TB3′s death, but the one that really got me the most is GM08′s. It seemed like he wanted to keep going, but finding himself alone ends up being his demise. They need each other. And when he tries to reach to his self-destruct button but cannot, and he just stares in the distance... I really, REALLY felt that.

2009: Do you have a favorite Daft Punk cameo/reference? I talked about the Burnin’ video before, but if I have to think of something else... I think their cameos in different productions are great. Like Sebastien Tellier’s videos of the songs he made with Guy-Man, one with magazines with drawing of GM08, while on the other he appears as a background guy, face partially covered... Also Thomas’ cameo in the movie Realité, where his wife is one of the secondary characters, where he just, again, appears for a split second. I find those really funny.

2010: What do you think about TRON: Legacy? It had a lot going on, but it’s story just... Was bad. The effects are cool (except for the guy they tried to make look younger), and I love that Daft Punk just kept vibing when the fight breaks out at the club. Aside from that, that’s all.

2014: What’s your favorite moment of Daft Punk at the GRAMMYs? The hug. Come on, that’s like, the loveliest thing ever. You can tell how happy and emotional they were. They even had to hold Thomas’ hand because his helmet fogged on the inside.

2015: Do you have friends who like Daft Punk? Hmm... Does all the cool people I’ve met in the fandom count? ;D Specially @edbangingrobot and @invader-777 they’re the coolest people ever <3

2016: What Daft Punk collaborations stood out to you? Probably the one with The Weeknd, but only because of their AMAZINGLY COOL COSTUMES, more than anything. Those have to be my all-time favorite looks for the robots.

2017: Did you get to see Daft Punk live? No :(

2018: How does Daft Punk fit into your taste in music? They have that disco-electro-house vibe I LOVE so much. Why do you think Discovery is my favorite? x’D Tho my tastes go all over the place, if I’m honest. You just have to take a look around my Spotify playlist to see what I’m talking about.

2019: What Daft Punk song makes you smile? One More Time, Digital Love, Voyager and Give Life Back To Music. If you wanna make me get in a good mood, play those.

2020: Did Daft Punk help you get through tough times? They certainly helped me focus on something. I found them in one of the toughest, darkest times of my life. Just had to drop out of school due to my mental illness, only to be abandoned by my old friends, while my family did not listen to me about my depression, anxiety and agoraphobia. Not only that, but we also moved for the third time in a decade, and it wasn’t for fun reasons. Having Daft Punk’s music there as a new discovery to me certainly helped, with their cheerfull, thoughtless songs for a time where everything felt too much.

2021: How are you “holding on” after the split? I am extremely sad we will never get to see the robots again. They’re a really important part of my life. Just like their music. All I hope is that they’re in good therms, and that they’ll be happy for now on. We do not know the reason, but there surely was one behind their decission. If any of them does make something new in the future, I’ll make sure to check it out. It wouldn’t be the first time they’ve done things aside from Daft Punk.

#ask #well that was long #you could say it was #too long

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gorgxoxus · 4 years

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Least favourite song from each episode of Glee:

@angelhummel

Season 1:

Pilot: Can’t fight this feeling

Showmance: Take a bow (omg I have like never listened to this song and it’s a snooze fest big time)

Acafellas: I wanna sex you up

Preggers: N/A

The Rhodes Not Taken: Last name

Vitamin D: Halo/ Walking on Sunshine

Throwdown: No air

Mash up: Thong song

Wheels: Defying Gravity

Ballad: (You’re) having my baby

Hairography: Bootylicious (but they’re all great)

Mattress: Smile (Finchel version)

Sectionals: You can’t always get what you want

Hell-o: Hello/ Goodbye

The Power of Madonna: What it feels like for a girl

Home: One less bell to answer/ A house is not a home

Bad reputation: Physical

Laryngitis: The Lady is a tramp

Dream on: Dream a little dream of me

Theatricality: Poker Face

Funk: Loser

Journey to Regionals: Bohemian Rhapsody

Season 2:

Audition: Billionaire

Britany/Brittany: Toxic

Grilled Cheesus: Papa, can you hear me?

Duets: With you I’m born again

Rocky Horror Picture Show: Dammit Janet

Never Been Kissed: Teenage Dream (sorry not sorry)

The Substitute: Make em Laugh

Furt: Ohio

Special Education: Don’t cry for me Argentina

A Very Glee Christmas: You’re a mean one, Mr Grinch

The Sue Sylvester shuffle: none

Silly love songs: Fat Bottomed Girls

Comeback: Baby (or all songs except for ‘Someone to Love’ because it’s an actual bop).

Blame it on the alcohol: Blame it (on the alcohol)

Sexy: Afternoon Delight

Original song: Big ass heart

Night of neglect: All my myself (but kinda none)

Born this way: Barbra Streisand

Rumours: Never going back again

Prom Queen: Jar of Hearts

Funeral: Back to Black

New York: Bella Notte

Season 3:

The Purple Piano Project: Anything goes/ Anything you can do

I Am Unicorn: Something’s Coming

Asian F: Run the World (Girls)

Pot o gold: Bein’ Green

The First Time: One hand One heart

Mash off: Hot for Teacher

I kissed a Girl: Girls just want to have fun

Hold onto sixteen: Man in the Mirror (for salty Kurt isn’t part of the boys number)

Extraordinary Merry Christmas: Christmas Wrapping

Yes/no: Wedding Bell Blues

Micheal: Scream

The Spanish teacher: A little less conversation

Heart: You’re the Top

On my way: Here’s to Us

Big brother: Fighter

‪Saturday night glee-ver: How Deep is your love? ‬

Dance with somebody: I wanna dance with (somebody who loves me)

Choke: Cry

Prom-a-saurus: Dinosaur

Props: I won’t give up

Nationals: It’s all coming back to me now

Goodbye: Forever young

Season 4:

The new Rachel: Call me Maybe

Britany 2.0: Oops... I did it again!

Makeover: Celebrity Skin

The Break Up: Teenage Dream (acoustic) (again, sorry I don’t like the song)

The role you were born to play: Juke Box Hero

Grease: Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee (Kitty version)

Dynamic duets: Superman

Thanksgiving: Gangnam Style

Swan song: Somethin’ Stupid

Glee Actually: Feliz Navidad

Sadie Hawkins: Baby Got Back

Naked: Torn (but I actually enjoy all these songs)

Diva: Nutbush City Limits

I do: I enjoy them all, every one of them

Boys (and girls) on film: You’re all the world to me

Feud: Bye Bye Bye / I want it that way

Guilty pleasures: Against all odds/ take a look at me now (in terms of performance)

Shooting star: Your Song

Sweet dreams: (You gotta) fight for your right (to party)

Lights out: Everybody Hurts

Wonder-ful: You are the sunshine of my life (unfortunately, but also I love this WHOLE episode)

All or nothing: All or Nothing

Season 5:

Love, love, love: Yesterday

Tina in the sky with diamonds: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

The Quarterback: No Surrender

A katy or a gaga: Roar

The end of twerk: Blurred Lines

Movin out: An Innocent Man

Puppet master: The Fox

Previously unaired Christmas: Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree

Frienemies: Don’t Rain on my Parade

Trio: Jumpin’ Jumpin’

City of angels: I love LA

100: Defying Gravity

New Directions: Party All the Time

New New York: You make me feel so Young

Bash: Broadway Baby

Tested: Addicted to Love

Opening night: N.Y.C

Back up plan: Piece of my Heart

Old dogs, new tricks: Take me Home Tonight

The untitled Rachel Berry Project: Glitter in the Air

Season 6:

Loser Like Me: Let it Go

Homecoming: Problem

Jagged Little Tapestry: So Far Away

The Hurt Locker: Vocal Adrenaline’s numbers

The Hurt Locker Part 2: Dalton Academy’s numbers

What The World Needs Now: Wishin’ and Hopin’

Transitioning: Same Love

A Wedding: Hey Ya!

Child Star: Friday I’m in Love

The Rise and Fall of Sue Sylvester: The Trolley Song

We Built This Glee Club: Mickey

2009: Popular

Dreams Come True: The Winner Takes it All

#my opinions #glee #some cold takes here #but it’s fine if you disagree

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stylohotmilo · 4 years

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Best Albums of the Decade

One thing I've been doing with fervour in the last few weeks of 2019 was ploughing through 'Best of' lists. Best films, best books, songs... albums. It was a result of moments of FOMO that I was experiencing, and also anticipation on whether I've been in the loop on the good stuff that the world has been offering. I ended up with long lists of things to listen to, read and watch - and I'm not complaining. I love having something to dive into, things to explore, and new favourites. What got me most excited were new and old musicians I've discovered in these lists. And that's when I realised that for the whole of this decade, I've committed to finding music I'll love. I've a strange preference when it comes to music, and to be honest it's hard to find friends who'd appreciate the music I love. Enjoying music has seen been a lone affair - be it hunting for new music, listening to albums or attending concerts. My early days of hunting for music was through Bandcamp, where I would download any free digital album I could find within the genres of indie and alternative. Then a few years later Spotify came along, and my life changed completely. I decided that paying $7 a month for good music is worth it, and honestly it's one of the best decisions I've made in life. Every Monday, I start the week with the 'Discover Weekly' playlist that recommends new tracks based on music I've been listening to. And since the March of 2018, I've started to create bi-monthly playlists to curate tracks that I love in those weeks. I got so excited when Spotify introduced Wrapped in 2017, where it recapped tracks you've replayed for the year. I still love the songs in my 2017 playlist and they bring back so many memories. Perhaps it has to do with the way I live with music - music has always been with me at every episode, good and bad. Because I enjoy music alone, I put on my earpiece during commutes, walks, work, in the toilet, travels, after quarrels, before meetings. The songs I've been listening to somehow has a connecting image of an event that happened in life. Yesterday when I was browsing through my playlists, I realised that I want to do up this post to thank the music that has defined my life from age 16-26. It's in this decade that I figured out music I truly love, and learnt how to lean on music for comfort. So here goes, my 10 best albums from this decade.

The King of Limbs Radiohead, 2011 I'm lucky to chance upon Radiohead in my mid-teens. I don't know how it happened but it did, and Radiohead went on to define what quality means. I guess that's how mainstream music fell off my radar very quickly from then onwards. It took me a while to fall in love with this album, but the musicality and skills of the band shone through with this album. The layers and textures they offer with their songs are always so spell-binding, and it led me to appreciate genres like alternative, experimental, eletronica etc. Favourite tracks: Bloom, Lotus Flower, Give Up The Ghost

Coexist The XX, 2012 The XX's distinct sound really proves that composing music is a work of balance. Their sound is clean and minimal, yet textured and dense. It has just about the right amount of everything. Coupled with Romy Madley Croft's etheral voice and Oliver Sim's deep and husky vocals, The XX is pure magic. I recall being completely swept away when I first discovered their works. Favourite tracks: Chain, Tides, Unfold

Woman Rhye, 2013 I found it unbelievable that the vocals behind this album are from a man when I first listened to this album. It has a similar etheral quality to The XX's sound, but with the vocals and lyrics, I remember feeling a lot of sadness when listening to it. Woman made me feel really lonely and lost, and I used to play The Fall just to have a cry in my room. Favourite tracks: Open, The Fall, One Of Those Summer Days

Midnight Snack HOMESHAKE, 2015 HOMESHAKE is one of my best finds through Spotify. I think I started listening to Mac DeMarco's Salad Days and this was later introduced as a recommendation. This album, along with In The Shower have significantly shaped the rest of the music I've discovered through the app. I'm now listening to a lot of lo-fi, blues, dream pop and psychedelia. And it's the start of what my friends call 'music you listen to when you are high' haha. I don't know what that exactly feels like, but from HOMESHAKE's music, you'll seem to be able to catch a whiff of it. Also, a special mention to my top 3 tracks of all-time - Midnight Snack that's featured in this album. I just want to close my eyes to this song and gently sway along with it. Oh, please. Feelin' like I'm falling asleep. Not ready to visit my dreams. Nothing in the world let me feel. Alone, while she's here next to me. Favourite tracks: I Don't Wanna, Midnight Snack, Real Love

Skiptracing Mild High Club, 2016 Mild High Club brings a little jazz to lo-fi psychedelia, and I also love the vintage 80s vibe he layers the tracks with. I felt Brettin managed to create a unique sound that I really haven't found anywhere else. Mild High Club's debut album Timeline is a favourite as well. Favourite tracks: Skiptracing, Cary Me Back, Chapel Perilous, Kokopelli

Ego Death The Internet, 2015 The Internet are the ones who introduced me to hip hop, soul and funk music. I listened to this album heavily when a friend got us free tickets to Laneway where The Internet would be performing. It's an album that makes you want to stand up and groove along to the beats. Syd's laid-back but delicate vocals also makes The Internet's sound even more appealing. Favourite tracks: Get Away, Under Control, Go With It, Just Sayin/I Tried

Currents Tame Impala, 2015 Another band with a really distinct yet familiar sound. It feels more futuristic, almost foreign, and the narratives to the songs are also pretty fresh - on sexism, courage to tackle the unknown, embracing change.. It's an album that's high in contrast, colourful and very self-aware. It feels like it could be the soundtrack for Star Trek haha, the visuals just go so well with how I've experienced this album. Favourite tracks: The Less I Know The Better, Yes I'm Changing, The Moment

Cold Shower Triathalon, 2015 Triathalon is officially my artist of the decade based on Spotify's statistics. And it's true, I love all their albums and I've faithfully followed this very indie band for quite a while. I gave them a shout-out on Instagram to celebrate the status as artist of the decade and they so kindly replied me with "Yooo *prayer hands emoticon* *heart emoticon*" haha! Cold Shower is more of an EP, and I love all 4 tracks. It's so smooth, so groovy, so easy. Slow jams that stole my whole heart. Favourite tracks: South Side, I Want It, Come Thru, Smooth Move (hahaha yes, it's everything)

Drowsy Bane's World, 2016 "Dreamy psychedelic bedroom pop" is how fans defined Blanchard's sound. I didn't listen to this album in a seating - I was recommended various tracks one after the other and I only recently realised they are all from the same album. Some tracks are fun and cute (Still Lovely, You Bet I Stare), while others feel really eerie or melancholic (Dream Boat, Drowsy). It also took me a while to fall in love, but now I'm hooked. I've to say I do agree that his music is really strange - but it all just feels together and in the end they sit well. Favourite tracks: Dream Boat, Valentine's Curse, Stay Away From My Baby

Déjàvu Matty, 2018 I remember feeling really excited when I discovered Matty. It's the typical high-and-slightly-off pitch voice I found familiar with HOMESHAKE and Tame Impala, but he offers it with really beautiful compositions from instruments other than lo-fi keyboards and synthesizers. For some tracks I felt I was watching a movie unfolding while listening to them. A great find that wraps up my decade! Favourite tracks: I'll Gladly Place Myself Below You, Clear, Butter

#stylotunes

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buzzkillmag · 4 years

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ALBUM REVIEW: harry styles, “fine line”

it’s going to be difficult for me to find something to say about harry styles’s fine line that hasn’t already been said by someone much more concise and coherent and articulate than i am in the few days since its release.

this album is more than just twelve tracks for me. on the eleventh of december, i took a red eye flight from ithaca, new york to los angeles, california. thursday the twelfth was a fight for our lives, but at nine o’clock local time, three of my friends and i were sat around the kitchen table at our airbnb listening to “golden” (my personal favorite track on the album). i’d heard snippets of the leaks online after trying desperately to avoid them, but sitting down to listen to the album for the first time still felt like coming into something brand new and exciting.

two and a half years after the release of his self-titled debut, styles gave us fine line, a triumph of a record, a breathing, conscious entity that seems to have fed off of his misery until he was ready to put it to use. this album is much more mature than his first, the subject matter still essentially the same (harry isn’t one to write about much other than his own life experiences, which i respect him for) but displayed with more confidence than he ever had before. golden, the first track, builds with keys and cymbal for nearly ten seconds before harry introduces himself with a “hey!” and some “do do”ing. it’s so easy to see why harry fell in love with camille, the way he talks about her in some of these songs, but in this one especially. he was at a loss for words, resorting to fragments of speech to describe her. it’s an enormous, jubilant ode to love and to falling in love and to the light he ound in his lover and their particular love. my favorite line is “i don’t wanna be alone / i don’t wanna be alone / when it ends, don’t wanna let you know / that i don’t wanna be alone / but i can feel it take a hold / i can feel you take control / of who i am and all i’ve ever known / lovin’ you’s the antidote, golden.” harry knows his lover is becoming an enormous part of his identity (which is called back to in falling, when he says, “what am i now? what am i now? what if i’m someone i don’t want around?”). the breakdown at 2:20 is just...*chef’s kiss*. everything about this song is miraculous. to be among the first to hear it live was life-saving. golden eventually evolves into watermelon sugar, which i can only describe as unashamed, unabashed, open; it’s harry really leaning into and embracing his sexual nature.

adore you is one of the most unique tracks on the album simply because of the entire world harry built around it. it’s hard to listen to it without thinking of eroda, of the music video, of the fish and the pub and the sailboat, and of the boy’s blinding smile. it’s pure funk, harry’s voice breaking through to beg his love to just let him adore her. lights up was the first track harry dropped after a year-long hiatus, when none of us really knew what to expect from his new work, but he gave us almost exactly what all of us needed from him: an anthem about the ways in which he’s come to embrace who he is and all that he’s learned since he went solo. the song culminates in the line “do you know who you are?” which can be viewed as both harry asking his audience and himself this question. his relationship is one of the reasons harry is questioning his identity, as evidence of his dependency on this other person can be found in watermelon sugar and adore you.

cherry is one of the most painful songs on the album. it’s harry’s public apology to his ex - “i, i confess / i can tell that you are at your best / i’m selfish so i’m hating it” - but also a plea to her not to forget him too quickly. it’s almost self-flagulating, as well, the way harry uses camille’s voice at the end of the song, the words fading and becoming obscured, almost as if they were recorded from under water. we never really realize the small ways in which the people we love become completely ingrained in our everyday lives (“i noticed that / there’s a piece of you in how i dress / take it as a compliment”) until they leave us, and often, when they do leave it’s sudden and we’re not given the proper amount of time to adjust, to grieve.

cherry is immediately followed by falling, which 100% claims the title as saddest song on fine line. all of harry’s fears after his breakup are perfectly normal fears, they’re all ones that everyone feels, but no one talks enough about them to know that they’re normal, and that’s what makes them even scarier. what if we never talk again? what if we never see each other? what if you don’t talk about me? he says, “and i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again,” and he’s right - she probably won’t. in an interview with zane lowe, harry said, “I had started to feel myself becoming someone I didn’t want to be, and that was really hard.” before he played this song live for the very first time at the forum, he whispered into the microphone for us to be gentle with him, as it was really hard for him to play. that’s all any of us want, really. for the world to be gentle, to be kind. harry is giving us a part of himself that he never has before, and he’s been so well-received it almost breaks my heart.

to be so lonely is fun, and it definitely stands out alongside treat people with kindness, sunflower, vol. 6, and canyon moon as the most upbeat songs on the tracklist. to try to describe she is to grasp at wind. i love the ways in which he plays with pronouns on this song; you never know exactly who he’s talking about, and it’s meant to be that way. he doesn’t even know who he’s talking about - he knows what his ideal lover is, but not who. and mitch’s three-minute solo at the end of the song is just so absolutely perfect.

if you’d asked me when he first announced the album’s title what i thought he meant by the name fine line, i wouldn’t have known what to say. now that i’ve had an opportunity to listen to it a few times, i would say this: there is a fine line between love and dependency. i think harry used this album as a way to express his love and respect for his ex-girlfriend; to express the ways in which he relied on her - almost too heavily - during their relationship; and his trouble with feeling like himself once more after their breakup. the title track to the album is meant to highlight that theme; in that same zane lowe interview, harry says, “what i hadn’t really experienced before during the making of this record, the times when i felt good and happy were the happiest i’ve ever felt in my life. and the times when i felt sad were the lowest that i’ve ever felt in my life.” at the end of the song, when harry sings “we’ll be a fine line,” the instrumentals build and the lyrics eventually transition into “we’ll be alright,” and i love so deeply that he feels that way.

all in all, fine line is one of the most perfect break up albums i’ve ever heard. knowing how heavily stevie nicks and fleetwood mac influence him, i’m not shocked that he’s created such a perfectly well-balanced meditation on love, dependency, and heartbreak.

#harry styles #fine line #harry styles review #fine line review #emily wrote this

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northsidemarleyrose · 4 years

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It’s The Small Things \\ Ryley

Who: Marley Rose and Ryder Lynn (@serpentlynn) What: Ryder and Marley keep up old traditions and visit an old favourite spot. The trip is far from normal. When: Wednesday, December 3rd, late night. Where: Sweetwater River Notes: Ryder is BOLDED, Marley is regular. This went places I didn’t expect. Also I died of cuteness. Word Count: 7,600 (yes exactly)

Marley knew she wasn't even close to being able to sleep. She hadn't expected Ryder to actually offer to pick her up and take her somewhere just because she was upset. She didn’t know what had gotten to her tonight, but something had nonetheless, and it sucked.

She didn't know what she'd done to deserve the amazing friends who were surrounding here through this breakup. She decided to wait on the front steps for Ryder, knowing he wouldn't be long and not wanting any knocking to wake Charlie.

It was colder than she'd realized outside, but she sat down on the top step regardless, kind of wishing it was snowing, solely because it'd be pretty.

Ryder wasn’t expecting to be with Marley again tonight, but he definitely wasn’t complaining. She needed to get away and he was happy to get her away. When he pulled up to Charlie’s, he saw her sitting on the steps and got out of his car, opening the passenger door for her with a grin, “Your chariot, here to take you wherever you desire.”

After she got in, he slid over the hood of the car to the other side, a trick he learned a while ago to seem cooler even though he rarely uses it, and entered the driver’s side.

“So do you want to head to Sweetwater? Or did you come up with something else while I was on my way over?” He asked her, glancing over at her while he pulled onto the road.

When Ryder slid over the hood of the car Marley winced, waiting to rush out if he fell, but, impressively he made it look easy. She knew if she tried something like that she'd fall flat on her face and everyone would laugh.

She did like the river, even in the cold weather. She nodded. "Sweetwater would be nice... It'll be quiet out there." Marley needed quiet, she needed to get away from everything that was happening in town, especially with Blaine. "As long as you don't think it's too cold."

Sweetwater worked just fine for him. Some quiet time away from everyone and everything. “Nope, Sweetwater sounds perfect.” Ryder responded, starting to drive towards their spot for however long they stay there.

“Did you like my trick?” He asked, referring to sliding over the hood, “Looked up how to do it a few years ago, practiced a lot to make it look cool.” He said, keeping the radio on a low level so that there would never be silence in the car but they could still hear and speak to each other.

Without asking, Marley knew the exact spot along the river Ryder was heading. They'd run lines for Grease there plenty. And after she'd found out about Charlie and Daniel he'd found here there once and it almost just became a safe place when things were too much, for both of them. Whether they decided to address whatever issue they were having, if they made time for each other to go find peace and quiet, or, well, if Marley found time for him because she was always busier, that's where they'd end up.

She couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh, barely a laugh. "I did, even if you scared the crap out of me. I was worried you'd hurt yourself," she told him. "But you did good, RyGuy. You'll be impressing all the suitors soon and then I'll have to go to the river all by myself."

Ryder loved being at the river with Marley, he still occasionally came by himself but usually Marley was there with him. It was just for the two of them, their own bubble, their own slice of Riverdale where they can just exist and be there for each other.

Ryder grinned hearing her answer and the nickname, though he didn’t really agree with the last sentence. He wasn’t looking to impress any suitors, not while his feelings for Marley were coming back to the forefront of his brain. “You’re never going to have to worry about going to the river yourself, Marls. Even if I date someone, I’ll always have time to come to Sweetwater with you.” He told her, which was the truth whether he liked her or not. He wouldn’t stop going to their spot because of a relationship.

Ryder had to be some sort of magical creature, Marley was sure. She'd never admit it, but it was probably because of the Lucky Charms. Nevertheless, here she was smiling. Looking over at him, for a second she was able to forget why she needed him.

"Okay, okay," she conceded putting her hands up playfully. "I will worry not. Or ... at least try not to." That was probably a mistruth, Marley worried about a lot, but she knew Ryder and she knew he liked lying just about as much as she did. It was never something she actively worried about with him.

She looked out the window when the radio took her off guard. Just The Way You Are. Blaine had told her time and time again he'd ghost written that song for her. Somehow gotten into Bruno Mars' head and made him write a song all about her. As much as she didn't want it to happen, tears filled her eyes. Marley didn't want to make Ryder uncomfortable so she kept a look out the window. "There's some clouds and it's cold... think it'll snow?" She asked, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible.

Trying not to worry was probably the best he was going to get from her and Ryder knew it. But he was glad she was at least giving him that. Lying wasn’t something they did with each other, and he really appreciated it. It was just one more thing he liked about Marley.

He nodded along to the radio a little, he loved this song, definitely one of his favorites. At Marley’s question, he glanced up at the sky, “Maybe. Hopefully not too much, I only have one blanket in the trunk and I do not think it could keep you warm forever,” he answered, continuing the drive. “You wanna know something weird about Bruno Mars? I never hear anybody say he’s their favorite artist. Ever. But he’s got so many awards and his songs are continuous hits. But it’s like everyone knows and loves his songs. Uptown Funk comes on and no one is saying “oh my god I hate that song”, everyone loves his stuff. All of his songs are great. But you could go and ask someone who their top ten favorite artists are and no one will say Bruno Mars. It’s like he has some magic or something that gives him ultra success and fame but no one will think of him when they think of their favorites.”

This was another thing he liked about Marley, other people would just tell him to shut up or something because they didn’t want to listen to his dumb tangents about whatever popped into his head, such as right now with his thoughts on Bruno Mars. She at least let him finish instead of cutting him off, because she was a super sweet person, and he loved that.

Marley leaned back, wiping her eyes, when Ryder started talking about Bruno Mars. It was easier to listen to him than focus on the lyrics. She thought about what he was saying and it was definitely true. And the same could be said about Maroon 5 too actually. It was weird.

She didn't understand how he was acting like this was normal. Sure, hanging out was pretty normal but it was late and this was the second time she'd needed him to come around so late in a week. It was something she really admired how ... go with the flow he was. How genuine he was. Her entire life, well, most of it, Blaine had been her constant, her best friend, the person she could count on, but ... come to think of it, Ryder was too.

Marley knew she could always count on Ryder, that was never a question, and she hoped he knew the same. It was just hard to see things that were right in front of you sometimes, she supposed. He was good, truly good. She was lucky to have an amazing friend.

"How long have you been holding that one in?" She asked with genuine curiosity and a bit of a smirk when he'd finished, glancing over at him, confident that at least for this moment, she could fend off the tears.

When Marley asked how long he’d been holding that tangent in, Ryder laughed. “Too long. I keep thinking about it every time one of his songs come on the radio,” he told her, which was very true. He was glad he could finally share it with someone else.

Honestly, the fact that it was late didn’t even phase him. He was always down to hang out with Marley whenever, even if it involved going out to the river in his pajamas, any time spent with her was time well spent in his book. Especially this week, with the breakup and and everything, he just wanted to be extra sure that she was okay.

Soon enough, they were by their spot and he got out of the car and went around to open her door, though, not by sliding over the hood again, because it was harder on less solid ground and he didn’t want to fall. “I miss our spot, feels like it’s been a bit since we’ve been here,” Ryder said, grabbing the blanket from the trunk just in case it did snow, or even just if she got cold and wanted it or something.

It wasn't long before Ryder parked the car and let her out, always a gentleman. The walk from the car to the spot they called theirs was quick. "It has been," she nodded as they walked. Unfortunately life after high school got busy. They both had pretty big roles in their families' businesses and sometimes time got away from her, she was sure it was similar with Ryder.

Once they found the tree, one of the biggest in this area, Marley sat down against the trunk. She didn't even remember how they'd found this spot, but it was theirs. She'd been to it once or twice without him, well, on top of the few times he'd found her there when he knew things were bad. It was just never the same alone, and she'd never been there with anyone else.

"Let's try to not let that happen again," she told him as he sat too. "Spend so much time not coming here."

Ryder sat down against the trunk next to her, nodding in agreement at her statement, “I agree. It’s good to just get time away from the others and have it be just us and the river,” he leaned back and looked over at her with a grin.

“Do you ever come here by yourself?” He asked, mostly just curious on if she came alone just like he occasionally did. Though it was usually just to blow off some steam and let the river wash away whatever was on his mind, it just worked better when he was with Marley. Which, he assumed has something to do with him having feelings for her and her just generally being a great person. She made things so much easier to deal with and even if there are some things he hadn’t outright told her, she was able to get it off of his mind for a while without even knowing it. It was yet another thing he liked about her. “I do, not a lot or anything but sometimes I end up just driving here and sitting by myself,” he said, almost trying to explain his curiosity for wanting to know if she did too.

Marley nodded, knowing there was no point in trying to lie to Ryder, that hardly ever worked. Outside of a short period of time in her senior year, it wasn’t something she actively made a practice of.

“A couple times... well a couple times when you didn’t end up here if I’m being honest.” Though, knowing he came down to the river alone too was kind of nice. It felt like it was a place of sanctuary for both of them, not just her.

They sat there for a few minutes in silence and Marley leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes for a second. It wasn’t long before someone cold and wet touched her nose.

Snow. She sat up quickly and forget about everything just for a second. There was nothing quite like the first snow of the season. “Called it,” she smiled, looking over at Ryder.

So it wasn’t just him, that was nice. This place really was their own little bubble to exist in, whether together or by themselves. Though judging from her response along with his own, it was mostly their bubble together, which he really liked.

She rested her head on his shoulder and Ryder got to just sit there with his arm around her, admiring just how beautiful she looked in the moonlight, as corny as that sounded to him. She was amazing, and deserved so much more than to be hurting this badly and he wished he could take all of the pain and put it on himself so she wouldn’t deal with it. But he couldn’t, the best he could do is just be there for her.

Marley quickly sat up and he didn’t know why for a moment until she spoke, and he glanced up and saw the snow. He was too busy staring at his friend to even notice it started. “Yes, you did. Looks like I’m not the only psychic in town. You can guess the weather and everything.” He told her, smiling back at her.

Marley rolled her eyes. She thought the whole psychic thing was over, but here he was, bringing it up again. “Oh yes. Totally psychic,” she quipped at him. “Had nothing to do with the temperature and the clouds in the sky.”

Marley didn’t understand how she could feel so low until the entire time waiting for him. How she could spend so long hating herself for her choices and the consequences of her actions, how she could dwell on Blaine and his actions until she was in tears, but then when she was hanging out with Ryder, nothing else seemed to exist. It had to be some sort of magic or superpower he inherited from his movies.

“Exactly,” Ryder responded, “Nothing to do with temperature or anything like that, just you being psychic.” He offered the blanket to Marley, wanting to make sure she didn’t get cold while they were here. Especially since it was certain to get colder since they were by the river.

This almost felt like a scene from a movie, the snow falling down around them while they sit in their own private spot at the riverbank. It was perfect for the climax of some romance movie, where the guy would tell his best friend that he’s been in love with her for years and lean in to kiss her. For a moment, he considered doing it.

But this wasn’t a movie. Marley was still hurting from her breakup with Blaine and he didn’t need to add confusing her by admitting the feelings he’s had since high school. That wasn’t going to help her whatsoever. And that’s all he was supposed to be doing right now, helping her get through this.

Marley took the blanket gratefully and spread it across both of them, it wouldn't be fair or right to hoard it for herself, she was the reason they were out here after all. The scene was kind of unreal. It was dark but the moon was bright, especially now with the snow falling. The river was calm, not silent but calm. The two of them under the tree. She knew if someone came along it'd look different than it was, but she didn't mind, though, she also knew that no one would be walking by.

She didn't know why silence with Ryder was so easy, but it was. Sometimes when they were down here all they would do was just sit. Sometimes they'd vent. Sometimes it was all laughter and jokes. Tonight didn't feel like a laughter and jokes night.

As per usual, her mind wandered to Blaine. She didn't want it to, but it did. He claimed Just The Way You Are was written for her, but in the end ... they didn't work with the way she was. Tears sprang again and she quickly wiped them away, but she knew he'd notice, Ryder always noticed. "Do you ... Do you think I'll ever be enough for someone?" She asked him, choking on the last word.

Silence was usually something that Ryder hated. It made him feel awkward and like he had to do something to get rid of it. But with Marley, he didn’t. Silence was fine between them, it was nice even. He was comfortable enough to be okay with the silence with her, but soon enough it was broken when he noticed her tears and listened to her question.

The question was making him wish the circumstances were different even more. He wanted to tell her that she was more than enough for someone, him, but he couldn’t. “Of course. You’re amazing, Marley, you’re going to find someone who will think you’re more than enough. Someone who loves every single little thing about you, who would stop the earth from spinning if you asked them to, someone who would never think about making you do something you don’t want to do,” for a moment, he almost said ‘someone like me’, but he caught himself and just said “and I know you’ll find that someone, Marls.” Even if that someone ended up not being him for whatever reason, as long as she found someone she loved, he’d support her always. That’s what he did, and what he’d always do.

There was no way a speech like that could make her not cry a little more. She didn't deserve Ryder. No one did. He had to be one of the best people she'd ever met in her entire life. Too good for Riverdale, that was for sure.

She gave him a soft smile and wiped her face again. "...Thanks RyGuy," she sighed softly, leaning back down down on his shoulder. One day someone would come along and steal his heart and he'd have less time to spend with her. Marley knew he said he'd always make time, but things were different once love got involved, she was already so lucky he was still single.

"For the record, you'll find that person too," Marley told him, not moving from her spot. "You'll find the most perfect someone for your most perfect self. And you'll get to show off all your cool tricks and I bet they'll rival your love of all things nerdy, like Scooby Doo and Spiderman."

These tears weren’t for awful reasons, so he didn’t feel too bad about them, and once she leaned back on his shoulder again, he kept his arm around her, simply saying “anytime, Marls,” in response to her thank you. Which was true, even if he managed to fall for someone else, which honestly seemed pretty unlikely, he’d still make time to help her out. She was probably the most important person in his life right now, it seemed pretty impossible to beat that.

When Marley spoke about him finding someone, he laughed a little. Mostly because the perfect someone in his mind didn’t rival his love of all things nerdy, and that could be part of why he liked her so much. He could explain things and get excited and she’d listen anyways, and while he’d love if she knew more nerdy stuff, he was more than okay with her not knowing. “Well, I’ll be waiting for whenever that happens, but I’m in absolutely no rush here.” Because the person he did love was the one he was sitting here comforting over a breakup. “I’m all good with being single and only needing to pause whatever show I’m watching to come take you for a late night river talk instead of pausing whatever show and telling someone else that I’m going to go take you for a late night river talk,” he added.

His words struck her deep. He was so selfless. She knew she’d woken him up the first time she’d needed him and both of them were in pajamas tonight. “Pretty sure if you did that, you would make whoever it was hate me pretty quickly. I’m apparently a really needy friend,” she teased him moving slightly so her chin was on his shoulder and she was looking at him. “And the last thing I’d want is someone important to you hating me.”

Would she have to compete for attention when Ryder found someone? That wouldn’t be ideal... Sure, he was big talk about making time for her now, but that was all hypothetical. She pushed all those thoughts from her mind though, not wanting to get caught up in made up scenarios.

“Well, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now to have you willing to come down here in the cold when you could have been home watching Spiderman Verse,” she informed gratefully. “I’ll be sure to make it up to you soon.”

“Nope, I really don’t think I could date someone that would have a problem with you.” Ryder never really thought about someone having a problem with him always being ready to go help Marley with whatever, but he supposed that made sense, some people would probably not like their boyfriend leaving in the middle of the night to go take a girl to a secret spot by the river.

He shook his head when she mentioned making it up to him, though he was glad she felt like the luckiest girl in the world here. “No need. I can always watch Into The Spider-Verse whenever, you don’t need to make it up to me when I’m choosing to come down here in the cold with you.” He told her, “I’ll always take the chance to spend some time with you.” No need for her to make it up to him when he wanted to do it anyways.

Marley didn't think Ryder meant too much by saying he'd never date anyone that had a problem with her, and the time he spent with her, but that meant more than either of them could have predicted. She didn't know how he could predict that, but she had a lot of faith that he truly did mean it.

Into The Spider-Verse. She'd been close enough. Though, she liked that he didn't outright bring attention to her mistake, just kept going like that was what she'd said. "Don't know why you'd choose the cold over your Spiderman movies," she said with a small laugh. "But, no matter what you're going to say or how much you object, I promise you that I am going to find a way to make it up to you, whether you like it or not."

Ryder had to know better than to try to argue with her, he might be pretty persistent, but her stubbornness usually won out in situations like this.

“I’d choose the cold because you’re involved,” Ryder simply said, “picking between my movies or you is always an easy choice.” Though he wanted to object again, say that there was nothing for her to make up to him, he knew she’d win in the end anyways. “Alright, fine, you’ll make it up to me even though I’m doing this because I want to.” He didn’t see why she would want to, he was just doing what he could to help her, but if she wanted to then he wasn’t going to say no.

Marley's brow furrowed. She seriously didn't know why he'd say that, think that ... live by that. She was almost glad he couldn't see her face as she tried to figure out what she ever did for Ryder than would explain how fantastic he was to her. She was no longer focusing on the snow that was still falling around them. She sat up and faced him, placing her chin on her hand while her elbow was on her knee.

"Why?" She asked him, quizzical look on her face. "What if you get a cold, or worse, the flu? What if a bear decides that we smell good and comes and eats us, or even worse yet, what if a psycho serial killer decides we're his next victim, like a modern day Zodiac Killer or something." Sure, they last few were probably far fetched, mostly probably the bear, but there had to be a limit to this neverending bucket of greatness Ryder seemed to be spewing this week.

Now he had to be careful. As he kept reminding himself tonight, it wasn’t the time to admit his feelings for her. So he had to figure out another way to explain why he’d risk any of that, as unlikely as it is, to be with her tonight.

“I can get over a cold or flu. And a bear or new Zodiac Killer death could get us on Buzzfeed Unsolved and that’s pretty awesome and definitely one of my life goals.” Ryder responded, “I’m cool with risking pretty much everything to hang out with you, you’re fun and nice and awesome. My best friend, so why wouldn’t I?” And I love you and pretty much have loved you since high school entered his mind right after, but obviously he didn’t say that. He was ready for her to question it more, but until then he was just going to stick with that. That she was fun, nice, and awesome so he was willing to risk whatever if it meant he could hang out with his best friend.

Marley couldn't help but roll her eyes. Of course he'd have an answer for all of that. She'd tried to throw impossible situations at him and he hadn't even blinked and had answers for her. How many people in the world would say they'd risk everything to hang out with a friend and probably mean it. Amusement slowly faded from her face and she just looked at him, smiling softly. "You're ... too much," she replied quietly, reaching up and rubbing her thumb on his cheek.

Maybe it was because she was sad. Maybe she just needed to be close to another person. Maybe it was because she believed there might be something more behind his words, though she didn't know why there would be, but maybe. The next thing Marley knew she was leaning forward and kissing him. As soon as she'd started, she backed away, eyes wide .. "I... I.. um..."

She didn't have the words to explain what she'd done and all she could do was wait for Ryder's inevitable questions.

Good, that seemed to work for now. All she was saying in response to his answers for her scenarios was that he was too much, which honestly was something she said to him anyways, so it didn’t bother him. “I think I’m just enough, actually.’

Then she leaned forward and kissed him. And he didn’t know what to do. He wanted to kiss back, obviously, but he didn’t even fully register that Marley’s lips were on his until after she pulled away.

This wasn’t right. He thought he was doing pretty good at not giving super obvious signs that he liked her, but maybe that wasn’t the case. Maybe she knew. But it was still too soon, he didn’t want to be a rebound or anything like that. But he also didn’t want to seem like he was upset that she kissed him. Ryder was, in a word, stuck.

“Why did you kiss me?” were the first words out of his mouth once he was actually able to speak again. “I’m not mad or anything, it was nice, but your breakup wasn’t that long ago and I’m just supposed to be comforting you right now.”

Ryder didn't say anything for a while. Marley couldn't help but start to panic, internally of course, she couldn't let him see that. She sat there, speechless herself until he spoke but she wasn't expecting a question. Why did she kiss him? Truth be told, she didn't have an answer for him. So ... instead of answering him she got up, wrapping the blanket in her arms. "It's late ... and the snow ... it's starting to stick ... we should go.. I want to go home."

Marley couldn't even wait for him to answer before she turned and started walking towards Ryder's car. This was a mistake. He would regret bringing her here, he'd stop coming over, he'd ... she'd stop being his best friend all because she'd impulsively kissed someone who was just saying ... all the right things to someone who's heart was still broken.

He didn’t get an answer, instead, Marley stood up and took the blanket. And Ryder didn’t get to respond before she started walking away, leaving him to scramble to try and get up and follow her.

This was bad, she was regretting it and she probably wouldn’t want to hang out with him because she impulsively kissed him because he couldn’t help saying as much of the truth as he could without outright telling her what he hasn’t told her for years.

Ryder finally caught up to her before she got to his car, “Marley, wait a second.” He gently grabbed her arm to stop her, “Let’s just talk for a second. I’m not upset that you kissed me, it was just a surprise. I wasn’t...I just want to comfort you right now. Be there for you in any way that I can be.”

He didn’t want to do something that may confuse her feelings when she was already going through so much. Otherwise, he probably would have kissed her once it started snowing and told her everything.

Marley knew he'd follow her, he had to, it was his car after all. She wasn't even surprised when he stopped her, grabbing her arm. She decided to play ball and turn to face him. What she hadn't expected was seeing worry written all over his face. She heard him out. Maybe he didn't hate her for what she'd done. Maybe he would still be able to call her his best friend.

She crossed her arms across her chest, holding the blanket close, and bit her lip, unable to keep eye contact. "It ... It just happened ... you can forget about it, okay? Just ... it never happened." Marley knew she had to let him off the hook. This was a one time thing, she'd thought too much about the nice things he'd said and let it get the best of her in a weak moment. "Don't worry about."

He didn’t really want to forget about it and pretend it never happened, but if that’s what she wanted then he’d have to agree. “If that’s what you want. I don’t mind, I don’t know, not forgetting about it.” He should’ve just stopped at ‘if that’s what you want’, instead of adding on the other stuff. Ryder didn’t want to go on and say why he wouldn’t mind not forgetting, especially if all she wanted after kissing him was to forget about it. That clearly couldn’t have been a good sign if he ever did want to admit his feelings.

He let go of her arm, almost ready to finish walking to his car so he could take her back to Charlie’s and she can pretend that the last half of this night never happened if that’s what she wanted to happen. But he doesn’t think he could forget, honestly, it was nice, no matter how short it was before she pulled away.

Marley didn't know what she wanted. She swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat. She shrugged. "I ... I don't know what I want ..." Maybe there was more truth to that than she'd intended. It took a second before his words sunk in. He didn't need to forget it? Had she not messed up that terribly?

Marley took a breath before opening her mouth again, meeting his eye. "You ... don't need to forget ... that I kissed you? With .. no warning? Why?" She needed to know that he really didn't think she messed up. She needed to know she was still worthy of being his best friend even though what she did was kind of uncalled for.

He sensed those words were about more than just not knowing if she wanted to forget they’d kissed, but he didn’t say anything. Not yet anyways, there would be time for that later if he thought about it.

Ryder knew she was probably going to question him saying that he wouldn’t mind not forgetting, but he hadn’t been able to think of an answer that wasn’t I’ve thought about kissing you so many times that I definitely don’t want to forget that it actually happened. “Because it’s not like it was awful or anything. Nothing’s wrong with you kissing me,” he said, putting his arms around himself to substitute not having pockets in his pajamas.

Despite everything, Marley couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m pretty sure not awful is the bare minimum standard when it comes to kissing,” she mentioned, feeling a little bit better already. They’d move past this, she could see that now.

Marley looked around at the snow still falling around them. “We probably should still go while the roads are still fairly clear,” she told him.

Were they ever going to address the kiss again? Marley has no idea. Up until now the only time she’d ever kissed Ryder was back in high school, for Grease. And there was a lot different between stage kissing someone and impulsively kissing someone because ... well she didn’t even exactly have an answer for that.

Good, that got a chuckle out of her. "I didn't mean it like that. The kiss itself was really nice. I just meant that the scenario itself wasn't awful," Ryder tried to explain. Not that it should matter, since clearly they were okay with each other now.

When she mentioned leaving, he finally looked away from her and looked around at the world around them. "Yeah, probably." He decided to continue walking back towards his car again, this was good, they were okay. Maybe they wouldn't talk about the kiss until whenever Ryder got the nerves and timing right to tell Marley how he felt, but as long as they were okay, he could wait until then.

"I guess I can be alright with really nice," Marley replied as the began walking to the car, taking their time because she knew the last thing that either of them needed was her falling and breaking her leg or something, especially since her stability had been a little off lately.

Really nice was a normal way to describe a kiss shared between friends right? Maybe they were hanging out a lot more lately than most people would consider just friends, but that was how it'd always been. After they'd finished their last show of Grease they'd been backstage, still in costume and everything, and he'd jokingly asked her out. It was adorable, and the only time anyone had every asked her out during high school. It'd been sweet and she told him he didn't have to be Danny anymore, the show was over, and he'd laughed. Maybe she missed the simplicity of high school. Regardless, it had to be a normal way to describe what had happened.

She sighed as they walked and bumped his arm with hers. "I guess it was nice for me too."

Ryder shrugged while he started the car, “I’m better than I was in Grease. But if you want comments on when we kissed in high school, it was great. Best first kiss I could ask for.” He told her, beginning to start the drive away from the river.

Grease was amazing for him. He never performed before then but he saw a really pretty girl sign up and he felt compelled to. He always told Marley it was because her and Blaine were both too pretty to not want to join, but honestly it was all Marley. He didn’t even really see Blaine until the first rehearsal. Marley got Sandy and he got Danny and some part of him felt like it was fate telling him that it was meant to be. All through rehearsals and running lines at the river, he felt drawn to her, and finally asked her out after their last show. But she thought it was a joke so he played it off like it was one and stuck with her being his best friend, which was already more than enough for him.

First kiss? Marley hadn't known she'd been his first kiss ... or that he'd even count that. She bit her lip and looked down as he drove. "I didn't know that... I'm glad it was something you'd consider your best.. well, not your best kiss just the best first kiss, but yeah, even though it was just for a play and ... I should probably stop talking."

That hadn't gone anywhere she'd intended it to go. She had meant to say best first kiss, not best kiss. There was no way that was his best kiss, she didn't even think it should qualify as a proper first kiss, let alone best in that category.

It was just for a play, but Ryder counted it anyways. "Play or not, it was the first time I kissed someone. I count it." If he didn't count it, then Charlie probably was his first kiss and he doesn't even know if he wants to count those as kissing since it just happened when they hooked up. "Not like I've even kissed many people anyways, I don't have too many to count."

Her for Grease, Charlie when hooking up, really the only time he kissed someone was his girlfriend in high school and it took a game of Seven Minutes In Heaven to happen. Which, honestly, was probably part of the reasons she broke up with him in the first place, but he chose to not think on that too much. It was over with.

Come to think of it, Marley didn't even remember her actual first kiss. She knew it was at an after party of the play they'd done her sophomore year, but the who had completely escaped her. She was glad Ryder had something he could remember, something that ... maybe meant something.

"No surprise here, but I don't have many to count either," Marley told him, though they both knew that was hardly news. She didn't realize how nice it was being with someone who didn't seem to have the same views on sex as the entire town seemed to. The same views that had put an unfixable rift in her relationship. Sure, her and Blaine were talking again, but it was hardly the same. All she wanted was for it to be the same as before any of this had happened. She might not have regretted it, but she wanted it back still.

"Honestly, if I didn't know that you drink water, I'd probably think there was something in the water supply that makes everyone think sex is the best thing ever." Ryder commented, sure, he enjoyed sex, usually with guys more than girls, but it didn't matter to him. He could go the rest of his life without having sex again, there were tons of things that were better than sex. Comics, pineapple pizza, movies, hanging out at the river with Marley, a billion other things he'd rather do instead of have sex.

The drive back to Charlie's felt longer than the drive to the river, but that probably had something to do with the snow and him being a little more careful. And, possibly, him going a little slower on purpose just to stall this night with Marley and make it last even longer. But he wouldn't admit to that, just blame it on the weather.

Marley could only nod to that. "I could say the same about you, Ry," she commented. "You were the one who said you'd give up sex for the right person." That was something not even Blaine could do in the end. He might have tried for her, if she'd let him, but in the end, it wouldn't have worked, she could feel that in her gut.

Ryder was taking his time driving, probably because of the snow on the ground, but Marley was grateful. Sleep was something that had been evading her lately. She'd barely been around Pop's, which was unusual, but she didn't have the energy. But being with Ryder almost gave her the energy she felt had been sucked from her. Him dropping her off would only result in falling back into the slump she hated.

Ryder gave a small shrug, “Yeah, well, it’s not hard or anything. I don’t need sex to have fun.” Sex was weird anyways. No need to worry about needing it in a relationship or anything when they can do anything else. “Pillow forts are way better than sex anyways, adding whoever I’m in love with,” Marley, “sounds like an even better idea.”

He was about to keep driving, head to Charlie’s and drop her off, but an idea popped into his head instead. “Do you want to stay at my place for the night? Well, rest of it anyways?” She could have his bed if she wanted, and it’d mean he can have a bit more time together. “Since it’s so late and all, no need to wake up Charlie or anything.” His parents were fast asleep and definitely wouldn’t mind seeing Marley in the morning anyways. They’ve been wanting him to ask her out since high school, whenever they weren’t already assuming they were dating, at least.

Only Ryder would bring up pillow forts as an alternative to sex. Only Ryder could make it seem normal to do that. It was something she really couldn’t help but appreciate so much.

When Ryder suggested taking her back to his trailer, the one he’d said didn’t have enough room for her. She knew that before she’d kissed him she wouldn’t have even thought before saying yes. She also knew that she should go back to Charlie’s. All that being said, the offer was there and it’d mean having him around for the rest of the night.

“Sure,” she nodded after a second. “But don’t think I’m kicking you out of your room. Unless you insist on that, but we all know I’m more stubborn here and arguing with me will end in defeat.”

Good, she agreed. That meant Ryder could keep driving to Sunnyside instead of Charlie’s place. “You don’t have to kick me out of my room, I was planning on sleeping on the floor.” Ryder told her, though he was sure she’d disagree with that too, “But you are more stubborn, so let’s just share the bed. Make things easier on the both of us.” He added.

He kept driving until they got to his trailer, him getting out and opening the door for Marley for the last time tonight. Quietly entering the trailer with Marley, he took her to his room where Scooby-Doo! Camp Scare was still paused from when he left earlier that night. With an easy grin, he turned it off and laid down in his bed, making room for her and suddenly a lot more tired than he was expecting, but he kept his eyes open to seem more awake in case Marley wanted anything else.

Marley almost laughed when she saw that Scooby Doo had been on. Nothing was more fundamentally Ryder and she wouldn’t change it.

As soon as he made room for her, she climbed into the bed, yawning for the first time in the night. She resumed an almost equivalent position to how she’d been the previous Monday, laying on his shoulder. She knew what it looked like, but right now, in his warmth and security, she couldn’t be bothered. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting the night sink in and letting herself breathe for a second. “Thank you,” she said quietly after a second. “For everything and for being you.” She leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, not something entirely new, but not their usual either, especially after earlier, but she really did want him to know she was grateful.

Almost like an automatic response, Ryder’s arm went around Marley, keeping her close and enjoying being in her company. Then she thanked him and kissed his cheek and he could only grin, “Anytime, Marls. Whenever you need me, you got me.” He responded just as quiet as she was. Then silence fell over the two as he made sure she was sleeping and that everything was okay before he closed his own eyes and was able to sleep himself.

#para:ryder lynn #chara:ryder lynn

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50percentslytherin · 5 years

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Oh my god?!?! I was tagged in something? I literally float here like a dead fish with 0 zero friends to my name and then I get tagged??!?! I know this was probably just a miss tagging cause they don’t even follow me, but WHO THE HELL cares?!?! I’m gonna fucking go for it! This dead fish maybe has a friend!!!!!! <3

The person who tagged me was @pixiebootsana.

Rules: answer 20 questions and tag 20 people you want to get to know better.

1. Nicknames: Liz, Lizzy, Mamma (trying to change that to at least a more gender neutral one but lol its fine (;_;) ), Liza, and I’m also trying to get people to call me something more masculine/gender neutral so here we go!

2. Zodiac sign: Cancer

3. Height: 5′, 9 3/4″ OR 1.77165 m

4: Hogwarts House: Ok so here’s where it’s complicated:

-before Pottermore (age 13 I believe) I did an intensive personality quiz that sorted me mostly into the “Ravenclaw part” with a close runner upper being the “Slytherin part”. Idk my whole family did it and I was pissed that I wasn’t in the popular house, Gryffindor. At this point my parents were surprised that I had slytherin any where close to me.

-Then when pottermore came out, I had calmed down and started loving ravenclaw, and then I couldn't STOP getting ravenclaw on the quiz literally no matter how many times I made an entire fake ass email to get different results

-Then in high school, I had some really cool friends who were so kind and patient and would tell me off for being a jerk . These guys were slytherins, and i don’t think that they all knew each other, but they were all the same. Emo LGBT kids who would stick a metaphorical knife in you for being a homophobic jerk. They did this to me multiple times because I was, unfortunately, a homophobic jerk. And holy shit if I’m not in love with literally all of them? Anyways, this made me respect the slytherin house like mad. Cause they loved me. I know it. They listened, and they tried to help me, and if I was offensive they let me know? And honestly? I needed that so so badly. (still do ;_;)

-Then when pottermore changed again? This time I literally cannot stop getting Gryffindor. And I AM INSULTED!!! Because it doesn’t make sense! And I already fucking learned to like my weird ravenclaw side of myself!!! At this time I found that she had been tweaking numbers, and Idk pottermore is fucking awful to try and make different accounts with now. So nope! I reject that! I have never ever been a Gryffindor until now and I am not planning on ever being one!

-so I found a complete test online, from pottermore, (https://www.gotoquiz.com/pottermore_sorting_quiz_all_possible_question ) that tells you what you got and your percentages. This time (and literally every time I take it after the fact) I have gotten #1 slytherin and #2 ravenclaw. Every. fucking. time. And you know what? At this point in my life, I accepted the slytherin completely!! So there we go!! That is why I’m @50percentslytherin! Cause this blog used to be a ravenclaw themed blog, and then I changed it when I saw that I had become more slytherin over time. And also, Gryffindor has never ever ever won with this test.

5. Last thing I googled: how to spell unfortunately cause I type fast and this computer’s spelling check is incredibly dumb

6. Favorite musicians: OMAM, Billie Eilish, Hawaii Part ii (album), Future Funk (genre), Joji, Thomas Newman, Milky Chance, Queen, Genghis Khan (song), Wolves and the Ravens (song), LSD (album) etc etc.

7. Song stuck in my head: idk there are a lot, its like, flipping through the channels on a radio? Normally i have one, but since I looked up songs and shit now I have them all in my head.

8. Following: 780

9. Followers: with this blog? 12 sweet sweet babies!

10: Do you get asks? This is my first one!!

11. Amount of sleep: 12 hours

12. Lucky number: 19

13. What are you wearing? A hospital gown

14. Dream job: Maybe architecture? Comic book writer? Idkkkkkk

15: Dream trip: Japan, Seoul, Kaohsiung, England, and then maybe...

I go Nepal to viciously torment tourists who use the Sherpa people like cattle. Then maybe I’ll set up a good business there that pays well so that the Sherpa can have a good income without having to risk their lives helping spoiled rich people climb a stupid mountain. Then I’ll tell every rich asshole who complains to me about it that they are incredibly disgusting and that if they wanna climb that mountain they can do it their damn self.*

*note: this is just a fantasy, I would never assume that I am the one to solve these problems, because I am white and stupid and I don’t know anything culturally about these people, so idk, maybe I should figure out another way so I’m not talking over them or some shit like that.

*Oh! I’d also like to dismantle the sweatshops over in southeast Asia and then laugh as distraught billionaires lose all their money, while the people they were taking advantage of finally get good working conditions, a thriving wage, and good education so they can kick those motherfuckers out once and for all. That’s also a good fantasy of mine.

16: Instruments: I took about 6 years of flute lessons and I’m pretty damn good when I’ve practiced consistently

17. Languages: only English ;_;

18. Favorite Songs: Come Out and Play (Billie Eilish), Daddy Issues (The Neighborhood), Crystal Dolphin (Engelwood), Dancing in the Dark (Joji), I Love You (Billie Eilish), Wait a Minute (Willow), etc.

19. Five Random Facts:

-I used to live in Taiwan when I was 3-6

-My father is legally blind

-I have moved 16 times

-I might be trans (ftm), and I am very much into men and women

-I used to be Mormon and it destroyed me so completely that I almost killed myself because of it. Multiple times.

Bonus: I was married by 19 and had a kid 10 months later. I was literally a teen mom, except it was encouraged by my religion at the time. :(

20. Aesthetic: Small flowers, leather jackets, fast motorbikes, lace, cotton, big sweaters, gray and black with little flits of beige, knifes, big black boots, all of the gay flags, curly hair, thick eyebrows, freckles, tattoos, piercings, tights with cute little flowers or polka-dots on them, sharp jawlines, dark lipstick, enfrijoladas and fajitas, old smoky bars at night, road trips, dark eyes, soft brown skin that shines in the sunlight, lofi hip hop, fast air in my face, etc.

I’m not going to tag people cause I don’t have a lot that I interact with! And those I do see, I don’t wanna bother them because I really like them and I don’t want them to be annoyed by me lol.

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onestowatch · 5 years

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How Los Retros Turned ‘70s Jazz Into Your New DIY Indie Obsession [Q&A]

Photo: Ross Harris

Los Retros is proof that the only thing you need to make a great record in the modern age is a living room, some instruments, and a fire under your ass. Mauri Tapia, the mastermind behind Los Retros, writes and records all of his music from his parents’ home in Oxnard, California (a city that has also served as an incubator for artists like Madlib and Anderson .Paak.) Despite the barebones setup, Tapia manages to create recordings that paint a vast expanse of sound and color.

For the last few years, Tapia has been touring with a recurring cast of individuals around Southern California, spreading the gospel of his music and recording yet more songs from Oxnard in between shows. With the release of Los Retros’ debut EP, Retrospect, on June 21 via Stones Throw Records, the public outside of the Golden State gets to experience Los Retros’ unique sound for the first time.

It was Ones to Watch’s distinct pleasure to sit down with Mauri Tapia to talk DIY recording, sources of inspiration, and turning a ride to a show into a marriage.

OTW: When did you start writing music, and how did that evolve into Los Retros?

MT: Well, uh, I don’t actually write most of it down; I just kind of form it and do it, it’s all memorized. I didn’t have access to any recording software until I was about 15, and that’s when I started really recording audio for the first time. At first, I just tracked guitar, then eventually drums, and yeah it kind of developed from there.

OTW: Your music has a very distinct feel that blends American indie/pop with Latin elements. Who are some artists that influenced the development of your sound?

MT: My parents for a long time when I was a little kid would play a lot of Spanish rock bands, some of those were, like, Los Freddys, Los Terricolas, Los Ángeles Negros, and so on. I never really cared for the sound until I got older. You know, maturity. I think a lot of those songs were in my head, just thinking about them and remembering all those moments, and I was like, “Hey that sounds like something cool that I’d like to make.” So I took some of those songs as a sort of reference to what I started making. Some of the others, like two on the album are kind of influenced by this dude named Tonetta. The whole album is actually a twist on a lot of stuff I listen to – it is original, but definitely reflects what I was listening to at the time. I recorded the album two years ago, actually, and I just finally decided to release it.

OTW: You took the inspiration for your moniker from a Chilean band called Los Ángeles Negros that has been active since the 70s – can you dig into this connection a little deeper?

MT: Yeah. So our project actually used to be called what the album is called, Retrospect. That was the original name, but there was already a band with that name, and we didn’t want to get sued, you know? We thought, “Alright, let’s switch it up.” I wanted to keep Retro in there because that’s just something that, like, maintains with our whole reality. And I thought, I lot of those bands I grew up with have “Los” in their name, and in English the same for bands like The Strokes. Actually, somebody on my live channel mentioned the name Los Retros and I was like “You know what, that’s a pretty cool name,” so I just kept it and here we are.

OTW: With the DIY approach you take to recording your music, do you face any interesting challenges translating the pieces to a live show? How do you adapt your music for a live setting where you can’t play drums, guitar, and bass all at once?

MT: Well, like I mentioned I write – well, not write down but you know what I mean – come up with the tunes, you know, record them, mix them. When we perform I have several friends that play with me. My little brother plays with me now and my wife does too, actually. And my friend who’s been there since the beginning playing bass. I guess that’s what makes it Los Retros.

OTW: I want to congratulate you on your debut EP that just dropped last month, Retrospect. How did you choose the six songs that would be featured on the project? Did you take anything in particular into consideration when choosing the play order?

MT: Kinda. So me and Wolf, the founder of Stones Throw, we hang out every now and then and we would always change it up. We had a bunch of other songs that we thought about putting on the album but we just thought these ones were better. We never really talked much about the order, we sat down and picked it in maybe, I dunno, four or five minutes. We thought, well, let’s put “Last Day On Earth” at the end, because you know the “last day” implies the end. The first couple songs are all about my wife. But the truth is, I don’t think it really matters what order its in. We just kind of threw it together.

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OTW: A lot of your songs involve complex chord structures, and I’m told that you play every instrument featured on each track. How did you go about learning all these instruments?

MT: I started playing guitar when I was eight. I eventually got my own guitar at 11, and really started getting better at it. My school had this after school program called Rock Band, and me and a friend would go there, and I just had access to so many more instruments there than I had at home. So I just played around with anything I could get my hands on. I picked up a bass and tried some bass lines, which is actually pretty similar to guitar. I eventually got on the drums around 8th grade. I didn’t get my own drum set ‘til about a year and a half ago, actually, but I’d always play whenever I was at school. Then three and a half years ago I got my first keyboard, some people on YouTube started sharing my music and all that. Around that time I started getting into a lot of old bands from the 70s, kinda started playing around with the chords they were using, and it all developed from there as I found my own sound.

OTW: What is your favorite story behind one of the tracks on Retrospect?

MT: Yeah, the song “Friends.” It’s about my wife. So long story short, I didn’t have a ride to show one day. I was kind of acquaintances with this girl, we had talked a little bit in the past, nothing too special. Then I invited her to one of my shows, and *laughs* I didn’t necessarily lie, but I said I didn’t really have a ride, since the car my drummer was taking was too packed with gear for me to fit. So she gave me a ride, and we ended up becoming friends for a pretty good while, you know, and there was definitely something there. So I wrote this song and figured I’d show it to her, and she’d have to do something about it, so… yeah, now we’re married.

Photo: Ross Harris

OTW: You’ve developed a devoted following in your native Southern California and have played shows all around the region. As your career continues to develop, where are some areas that you want to tour? Do you have any bucket list venues?

MT: Hmm, I don’t know, I haven’t really though about it. I just wanna go play places where people will watch me. If I had my choice I guess I’d like to play in Japan, I’ve always been interested in Japanese 70s funk stuff. Honestly, New York sounds cool, too. I’ve only left California once when I was about two years old. I went to Mexico. But now the laws are a little different regarding specific people and my parents can’t go back, and for me I’d rather visit with my parents than go by myself. I don’t really have any bucket list venues. Maybe some cool back yards – I like intimate shows, haha.

OTW: Assume next year you could support any artist on an international arena tour – who would you want to support and why?

MT: Well, if he could even still play, I’d say this dude Alain Mion. He was a composer for this soul-jazz band called Cortex from the 70s. He’s probably almost 80 though. Roy Ayers too, but I know he was just hospitalized, so that would be tough. Really any of those old funk guys, because that’s the sort of music I wanna be making. It’s a long shot but maybe George Clinton, though I know he’s retiring pretty soon.

OTW: Clearly you have the chops to do great things on your own – but if you had the opportunity to collaborate with any active artist, writer, or producer on a project, who would it be and what sort of project would you undertake?

MT: Well actually, I’m collaborating with one of the best right now, Steve Arrington. I wish I could give you more details on that project right now, but I can’t.

OTW: Who are your Ones to Watch?

MT: Huh, I don’t know, I listen to a lot of old music, haha. He’s not new, but I think people should know about Alan Hawkshaw. Brian Bennett, too. Oh, and Bill Evans. There you go.

#los retros #mauri tapia #interview #soul #jazz #indie

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kholoudnine · 5 years

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THE ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS

Hey guys!

So I have just come out of last weekend's book fest, am writing this at like 4am waiting for my sleep aids to finally kick in because I really should be going to bed now, and I thought It'd be a good time to start a blog post.

This past week has been crazy and just picking up more and more as it goes on. I've been ordering books, selling to stores(more to come on that little detail soon), signing up for signings in other states, booking meetings, and getting together more places to perform my art live. It's a work out for sure but the more I do the clouser I feel like I am to where I wanna be in life, so it's all worth a little lack of sleep. Although I have been making a commitment to sticking to a decent regemin for taking care of myself. If you read my poetry, you know I struggle with this daily, but if I wanna be at my best on stage and at signings and in my work, than it's an important step. It's also something I wanna encourage. For people not to just accept the narrative of being unhealthy and tired, if you're unhealthy and tired, strive to change that. I have so many ideas for blog posts and videos about how I've been going about doing that which I hope you'll enjoy and take something from. This post though, I wanted to talk about something that I've been asked for a lot lately, advice.

Now I knew when I started this that there would be people who looked up to me and people who want to know I did it and want to know what they can do for their dream and just wanna know more about my journey, the thing about that was just I thought all that as a little kid and I thought it'd be something that came from record deals and being rich and screaming stadiums, never did I think my self-published books and my open mic performances would draw so many people asking me for guidance through their own journey or draw so much curiosity for how I got where I am today (which for a time I thought wasn't very far). I've even been mistaken as a professional in the craft, someone with years of signings and publishing under their belt. This got me thinking, what exactly makes a professional, and what do I have to offer?

So for the people who ask me about my experience, I've pretty much been at this my whole life. It's been a constant uphill battle for me with anxiety and doubt and obstacles of all sort pushing back, but since I was a little child dressed as Hannah Montana and using letter stencils to write songs I was sure this is when I wanted. Something I need. That meant going to every free class I could find. The library funded a lot of my passion and education, with improv and acting classes, guitar lessons, computer courses, open mics, and workshops. I lived in libraries. I would read books about design and flip through adventures, I'd sit in the stacks learning about podcasts, I took photography and leadership in freshman and sophomore year of high school (for the gods' awful times I was in online school *shudders*). I still go to those classes now, the maker's space is going to help me tremendously in the next coming year. I'm so excited about it all still. For a long time with all those classes, I was still the quiet one. Even with all these teachers believing in me, I couldn't beileve in my own voice. I didn't think I could speak, and around my peers I was still weird, so I was quiet. Until JYPS workshop, that is when I was put on a stage for the first time in my teenage career. Working with the group definitely drove me to who I am now, instead of just being taught poetry, I was taught business, I was taught to stand on corners and give out flyers, to promote myself, to be confident and build connections, and I still go now. I'll be there this weekend, learning just like everyone else will be. This is where I found my voice. So as you can see, I've got experience, but I'm still trying to learn more. I don't really think I'll ever not be a student.

Knowing that, I will now give my best advice. I'm going to break it down into FAQ's because I do get a lot of questions, and most are more or less the same things.

1. How Do yoU Find Events?

I find all of my events through my mum and word of mouth. My mother started releasing books about a year before I did and she finds a lot of the events this year since most are ones she researched years prior. Other events I find through the library system and old fashioned word of mouth, it is not uncommon for people to come to my performances or see me at a signing and invite me to another somewhere else. Networking is key. Always remember to talk to people at these things as you'll never know who you'll meet. Do not be afraid to ASK "Hey can I preform here? Hey what signings are there in town? Hey Siri search local book signings?" You'll find something surely.

2. How Do You Find Inspiration?

Everywhere. My life, other books and art, music, dancing, etc. I've been dancing and gotten entire scenes in my head randomly or laying back and listening to music then I'll start replaying the song as a whole outline shows itself to me. It's really a magickal thing, being an artist. It does take practice for some to get to that level of spacey but you can always start by writing about what you know. Many scenes or emotions or characters in my books can be connected to my life in some way or another, maybe an altered moment, maybe a name I heard, maybe a character that reminds me heavily of a friend. Start with writing what you know, I will occasionally write out my thoughts like a novel when I'm trying to sort things out or I'm in a funk, find your thing.

3. How Do You Get Over Stage Fright?

You just do it. Get on stage, it's really the only way I've found to deal with it. A lot of people don't know this but I do have grand stage fright, to the point of running off the stage when I was younger actually. It still bothers me and I'm in constant management with it. If you don't get on stage you'll surely never get over it. Start small. For me going up and performing in front of people who don't know me, acting as a character who was not me, would help tremendously. Occassionally I'll still channel some more confident and emotionally showing version of myself for my performances, it's whatever works as a small step for you. Some people feel more comfortable anon like me, but others may want to start by preforming in front of people they trust and slowly work their way to strangers. Don't push yourself too far to fast, and don't worry about if you start by running off the stage, you get over it.

4. How Do You Self-Publish?

There are several ways to self-publish your books, the way I chose to go through primarily was Amazon. I put my books on their website (not signing their exclusivity contract) and then I can sell it other places. So I've also been trying to add my books to Lulu, I have previews up on Tablo and Wattpad, and I'm selling them to a local bookstore. Amazon prints my books so I do pay them to order the copies but I do not pay the same price as a normal costumer, since they are mine I only pay the cost of shipping and printing. You can find loads of other self-publishing routes with some diligent research, look around and find what's right for you, don't be afraid to ask other authors who self-publish questions at book signings, many are willing to help others.

5. What are the benefits of self publishing?

Since I self-publish my book I get to tell the story my way, without some of the hurtles trade might give me. For instance, my books are quite dark and do contain not only strong language but descriptive violence. When JK Rowling was publishing Harry Potter, Ron actually swore quite a lot, but because the publisher felt the book series would appeal so well to children, they had her change that about the character so as not to poke any parents. Prisoner Nineteen could bring a very wide audience (though I in no way compare my work to Harry Potter) but seeing as the characters are mostly quite young (the main being only fourteen) I could see it drawing in a younger crowd than would be expected for a series like it, because I published it myself, I don't have to worry about that. I market it as YA, and really leave it up to the reader (and their parents) what they feel comfortable reading. This for me is the biggest plus of self-publishing, you get no deadlines and complete creative freedom.

6. How Do You Write A Book?

I can't exactly tell you that. Everyone has a different way of writing their book, I've seen a million different writing styles and writing processes, it's really up to you how you write your book. As for finshing it, what helped me was having a clear goal and deadline in mind.

7. How Do You Balance Everything?

Chaotically. I'm definitely not going to lie and say this is all super easy. Meetings, school, art projects, volunteering, blogs, writing, signings, performances, and whatever else I have to do that week balanced on having a social life and not going crazy? It's not exactly easy. And occasionally you will probably freak out and/or cry from stress and anxiety, that does happen to me sometimes, but if it's what you want to be doing and I mean really want to be doing? Oddly enough, it doesn't feel like work a lot of the times. It feels great to be able to be doing something you actually love and want to be doing. If going a little bit crazy is a part of the process, eh, just makes for better writing and more theatrics. Did the sane man really ever make great art or great changes?

8. How Do You Get Your Stuff?

So usually this is directed towards my merch. Everything you see on my tables is customised and designed by yours truly (save for things like my lights or shell). I get an idea, I plan it out, and I then search all over the internet to find my supplies. (Honey really helps with this. Save money, create smarter.) Look on Pinterest or Tumblr or at other cons to try and think of something that fits your book.

9. How Do You Find The Courage?

Caffeine. Straight to the vein. I just get an iv drip before every apperence.

No but, really it's a lot of channeling your nerves into your work. Of deciding if this is really really really something you wanna be doing. If the answer to that is yes? You'll find your courage and strength. A support system doesn't hurt. If that can't be friends or parents, then you can find it in groups. Look around your local art scene. I'm sure somewhere there's a workshop or two, check on NaNaWrimo they do video chats, join a group on social media, find a pen pal, but nothing can really replace knowing people are rooting for you and knowing that you're working towards your dream goals.

10. How old are you?

I am eighteen years old and my birthday is June 24th, so. You're certainly not too young to do something and make decisions with your life. There is no "starting age" that's when you decide it is.

And to close, the thing that makes you a professional. I really didn't know, but a friend of mine posted online a few days ago "You are a rapper if you are rapping." This I think is true in all things. Especially in art, there is no point when you should ever stop learning, but you are what you are. If you sing, and you're serious about it, you are a singer. If you dance, and you're serious about it, you are a dancer. If you act, and you're serious about it, you are a dancer. If you write, and you're serious about it, you are a writer.

#blog #writer #writeblr #writing #advice #the prisoner nineteen series #prisoner nineteen #faq #kholoudnine

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thesinglesjukebox · 6 years

Video

youtube

MARIE DAVIDSON - WORK IT

[6.31]

It's the weekend! Time to relax KEEP WORKING

Iain Mew: OK, Fucking Tell Me What to Do. [7]

Katherine St Asaph: On a functional, unlit bare stage of a beat, Davidson pulls apart every meaning of "work" like Laurie Anderson on "Only an Expert." A literally commanding presence, she unsettles and loves it; every time the listener gets complacent, she takes a new nail to a new nerve. [9]

Thomas Inskeep: I don't know who asked for an electroclash revival -- let alone one with "clever" (read: not actually clever) lyrics -- but I can promise you that it wasn't me. [1]

Katie Gill: I didn't know that circa 2012 Scissor Sisters was a sound that I was nostalgic for, and yet here I am, enjoying the hell out of this. This is some beautifully minimalist electronic dance music that I fully expect to back a drag or dance routine sometime in the near future. [6]

Alex Clifton: The "Work Bitch"/"Let's Have a Kiki" mashup I never knew I needed, with deadpan delivery that is both threatening and genuinely motivational. I feel like a rich lesbian personal trainer has looked into my soul and told me I am not working hard enough, and boy is it ever effective. [7]

Joshua Copperman: At first glance, this is the unholy hybrid of "Work, Bitch" and "Arnold." On repeated glances, this is also the case, but that's why it's great. Over a beat I'm seeing defined as 'electroclash," it's so off-putting that it wraps back around to being so universal, even Bob Lefsetz praised it. Part of that is due to how little Davidson's cadence varies; it represents the need to work at the cost of mental health or interpersonal relationships, and that obsession with work defines living in late late capitalism for many. So with that in mind, I greatly appreciate the twist ending, where "working it" is specifically defined as practicing self-care. The only real issue here is when it gets too crude; "is sweat dripping down your balls" goes slightly too over the line when the rest is tastefully tasteless. [8]

Alfred Soto: A voice-free percussive loop is my idea of bliss, but Marie Davidson sounds enough like an anonymous late eighties house singer to almost sustain this four-minute novelty. [5]

Ian Mathers: I'm genuinely torn, because for the first 70 seconds or so not only did I love this track unabashedly, but it never even occurred to me that vocals were going to show up; "Work It" was working beautifully as a showcase of tight, compelling programming (drum and otherwise). It could have kept up its pace for another ten minutes and I'd have been enthralled. Instead Davidson decides to start and then keep up a steady stream of patter that sounds a bit like the Egyptian Lover gone Young Republican. Maybe it's satirical, maybe it's sincere, but it's a drag on the song either way. [5]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Such deliciously stoic drum programming that gets diluted by Marie Davidson's own vocals. I understand their purpose, but everything they hope to accomplish is either unsuccessful or bested by the drums and synths. The title is enough to inform listeners of how the instrumental should be read; if anything, Davidson's voice is a distraction, sounding like a demanding instructor explaining what you already know you need to do. [5]

Juan F. Carruyo: Marie Davidson is really lucky to brag that she only works five days a week and remains a winner. She also mentions sweat a lot, which is evocative but not hugely so. Now I feel a huge need to go to the gym and pump me full of 'roids. [7]

Stephen Eisermann: The song starts and my eyes instantly roll. Another Kiki, huh, well here we go. Marie immediately implies I'm a "fake ass worker," and I should be offended but I'm just thinking omg drag me, kween. And I shouldn't think that, because this song is barely even a song -- but then that unique beat gets to me and I question myself -- what is a song, really? The song continues and finishes with a laugh and I'm left in a puddle on the floor from all the working I've done; but being a puddle gives me perspective. [7]

Will Adams: There's a line to be drawn from "Work Bitch" to "Busy Doin' Nothin'" to this, a Kübler-Ross-esque descent (or ascent, depending on how you look at it) one tends to experience under capitalism. At first there's aspiration: you wanna live fancy? Live in a big mansion? Then rejection: don't wanna work, I wanna make money while I sleep. Four years later and you've been conscripted into this life, no matter what. Over a spiky groove that builds like an assembly line, Marie Davidson guides you through the new mentality. It's no longer enough to work to the bone, you have to love it, too. It doesn't take long before she flips that aspiration into a taunt ("Well then you're not a winner yet!") and the colloquial notion of "work" into a menacing order. By the end, she's just parroting the same platitudes ("You've got to love yourself"), the empty promises we're told by others and ourselves to get by, knowing that in this system one cannot be a winner without crushing someone underneath. Perhaps that's too bleak a reading. Perhaps we're just in a funk, and all we need is to keep organizing and pushing and upending every system that got us here. But if it turns out we are marching toward the inevitable end, I'll want it to sound like this. [10]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Capitalism! Very clever. [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Marie Davidson #techno #electronic #music #music review #writing

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ts-autumns-world · 3 years

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Episode 1: “Autumn you are a crazy fucked up host” - Giraffez

AHHHHHHH AUTUMNS WORLD HI!!!!!! THIS CAST IS AMAZING IM SO EXCITED AND SCARED!!! JINX YES!! AND 4 KILI PEOPLE INCLUDING LILY?? cant wait !!!

Omg! first day and im placed on the Eener tribe <3 love the way it sounds like an alarm so much ! xo love the tribe divisions and love my tribe mates! super excited to get to know them more, and reconnect with others :)

https://youtu.be/9P1GrFrTHnQ

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it’s the way i keep putting my birthday as the date...as if this is a doctors office and not autumns world...I DONT NEED NO DOCTOR THO I AM CURED IN AUTUMNS WORLD ‼️‼️‼️ anyways manifesting a jinx win 🕯 hi my name is jinx and i am the winner of tumblr survivor 103: autumns world. i keep telling myself that. it’s okay to be hungry for the win like i am this time. i can’t let it blind me but it’s okay! it’s okay to say i’m gonna win! if i fail, it’s not smth i haven’t done before. but. im taking a page from autumns book and speaking it into existence. my name is jinx clementine and i WILL BE the winner of tumblr survivor 103: autumns world. *uptown funk vc* don’t believe me just WATCH ‼️

It feels absolutely insane to be back. I feel like I’m a bit oversaturated tbh

I can’t believe this cast. Packed with icons. So many people from Kilimanjaro?? I’m just like??? I’m just so excited to play and hope that our team does great. I just don’t want to lose cause I really don’t want to vote any of these other people out!

when i’m the annoying overactive player... i keep putting my birthday as the month/day/year 😭 so watch out for that. anyways, important announcement: the only song i ever listen to is potential breakup song by aly & aj. i never listen to anything else. if i feel like listening to music that’s what i listen to. it’s been on repeat since 2007. my itunes consists of 1 song, potential breakup song by aly & aj, and the play count is somewhere around 50,000 plays. if you ever see me listening to music, don’t even ask what song i’m listening to, because you know it’s potential breakup song by aly & aj, so why would you even ask

I don't give one fucks, two fucks, red fucks, or blue fucks, I'm gonna put all my effort and energy into this season. I have a point to prove, not to just myself, but to every person who has doubted me in any way. The biggest concern I have is meta gaming, alot of it but its going to be okay. Chris and Jinx? Vibing. Mikki and Captain? that group chat was made 5 minutes into the game. Monty and Lily C are gonna be vibing since they're winners. Lily O and I played fr*nce, but that's... no good. I'm going to just let go and have a great time. This is Autumn's World, and sometimes, we all need to just relax and let nature take its course

Autumn you are a crazy fucked up host....... Legit i was like oh come in have some fun then BOOM FUCKING MESOPOTAMIA FLASH BACK OUT THE GATE so sevice to say I'm nervous as hell about this challenge i so don't want to get voted out first .....or on the same challenge as before so even if we do have to go to tribal hopefully the winning tribe will take pitty on me and you know give me safety

feeling delusional for writing what i wrote about winning 😭🌚 LIKE DKKDKDKDKDKDDKDKKD IM TRYING TO BE MY BEST POSSIBLE SELF AND APPARENTLY THAT FACILITATES DELUSION GOOD NIGHT

https://youtu.be/FJM9fQW7evY

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autumn not letting me in the game at first bc i’m mixed. i can hear my ancestors screaming

Yknow I’m not exactly thrilled that the song decision was made without everyone being present but like my stupid night shifts make it completely understandable at the same time. On that topic, though. Party in the USA for our music video, hmm. Not even bleach is that basic.

good morning it’s day 2 in autumn’s world and i don’t feel any better about the whites. ps. daily i love monty

https://youtu.be/DAXdEjZW1mc

https://photos.app.goo.gl/mQ3vUbaX1nEnsp2Z9

My tribe has a varying amount of timezones which makes it harder to connect with them socially as I cannot PM them as much as I would like to. Additionally, I am finding it difficult to message them because I have to work from 8 to 5 everyday of the week. This sucks because I know I can at least make people like me in the per-merge enough to keep me. However, I can no longer reliably use this strategy. I just have to hope others are way more inactive than me and that my tribe somehow wins immunity. On that note, I am really liking that Mikki and Benj took a leadership role in the tribe. So, they are definitely people I want to keep on this tribe. It would have to be Blake or Khalid that gets the target from me. We'll see how talking to them goes before results.

I LOVE THIS GAME!!!!!!! Ok so starting with my tribe:

Mikki - ABSOLUTELY THE FAV!!! We got along right away on day 1 and are def the closest in timezones which is so great to have someone like that. Sooo fun and easy to talk to really wanna be #1 allies. I know shes amazing at orgs and won and probs is getting along well with everyone but who cares i wanna play w her!!!! The main thing is too have fun and i just know it will be with Mikki

Captain - Also amazing!!! Super active in helping with the challenge and great personally love that hes gonna do english teaching which is smth i was looking into and also in a closer time zone to me and had fun discussing stuff w him so far!!

Blake - We played Kili together!! Shoutout Autumn for getting 4 Kilis back omg. I was on a tribe with Blake and Autumn together for like 2 rounds and we did vote together once so have some positive history at least hes a bit more quiet compared to the others but hes cool and i think we could do good!

Raffy - Iconic parts in the video challenge and also fun so far!! Havent talked as much as the above 3 but still feeling good about him!

Khalid - Seems nice and friendly but we havent messaged yet and no clue if he will do his lines in the music video :O we'll see But overall love my tribe and the overall cast. LILY THE KILI WINNER QUEEN???????? Cant believe shes back would be so awesome to play w her again since last time we were mainly on opposite sides. JINX MY ONE MONTE FRIEND??? YES!! SO excited i hope we get to tribe swap together since in Monte we werent that close and i voted them off i know such a disgrace but since then we have become more friends so would love to play together!! Also played w Chips in Kili and were sort of friends! Chris we are hosting a season together but i think itll be cancelled tbh no ones applying and we dont know each other at all outside of that but i loved his intro and just started getting into agatha christie literally ordered 2 of her books a few weeks ago sdhksa cant believe he mentioned her in his intro so super excited to properly meet him. Joey we are sorta friends but i voted him out recently in other game so dunno how he feels abt me!! Everyone else i dont really know but will meet some soon surely WOOO AUTUMNS WORLD

SO THE GAME JUST STARTED so there's not really that much to spill right now but I do really enjoy my tribe. I have my bestie captain who I will protect as much as I possibly can. and I've spent all day yesterday and today talking to benj who I LOVE so so so much. I feel so good with him. SO UM ASAHJSHSJAJHASHJAS IM ON THE SAME TRIBE AS RAFFY WHO UM ASHJSAHASHJ I played with once before where I was super chaotic and I literally fought him (playfully) and it was so messy and chaotic and stupid BUT I DIDN'T RECOGNISE HIM AND HE DIDN'T REMEMBER ME SO WE JSUT WERE LIKE "nice to meet you" and I didn't realise until later and idk if he knows yet and I am not bringing it up COS LIKE IDK I DON'T WANT IT TO GET WEIRD AND MAYBE HE DOESN'T REMEMBER BUT MAYBE HE DOES IDK but besides that I love him a lot he's so fun and his videos for our music video are AMAZING he's so full of life. Khalid hasn't been on much but I really enjoy his energy when he is. he's so cool and lovely. Blake is nice!!!!! but I can't help but feel my instincts being like WATCH HIM. like something inside me is saying beware of this white man.LIKE IDK WHAT IT IS but I just get instincts in games with people sometimes where I just feel like unsettled??? and that's how I feel right now. we're all in different timezones so socialising is the opposite of overwhelming. I've never had a game so quiet in the beginning like this before. but I've never played survivor either. I think I might be okay??? if we went to tribal but I really don't want us to go to tribal pls....

JINX IS OVER ON THE TUA TRIBE BTW and I'm sitting here with grabby hands. I wanna play with them so bad and just get to have our redemption arc because we didn't play on the same side the first time we played so LET ME HAVE THIS I just wanna play with them and have fun with them but they are so far away :((((

I'm so excited overall tho the whole cast looks amazing and I'm having fun so far. this challenge has been a blast and. a great way to bond with everyone. I feel so close to benj already. I really love him a lot. so I'm having a good time yes ashjshajjahs YAY

oh and I also did my tarot and idk where things are going to go exactly but I'm very :eyes: raffy got the tower and Khalid got the devil....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

also I wanna play with women at some point PLS PLS I haven't been this surrounded by men since I was a closeted 15 year old surrounded by posters of Robert Pattinson and Taylor lautner

Benj just submitted his version of the music video and it is..... bad. I don't know why Mikki filmed vertically? Like, I feel like that's the first rule of music videos? You have to always film horizontally. Also, some of these people's energies were not giving at all. The beginning waking up part was cute though. It's just.... these people aren't giving what they think they're giving is all I'm saying. And Benj put this weird filter on all my videos that makes it hard to see what's actually going on tbh. Anyways, time to kick the socializing into high gear so as to not get voted out! Or pray that Mikki's version of the video is better

hello autumn's world.. this is captain's speaking. sorry i'm one day late to this confessional booth stuff but i'm here and i'm ready to give u some tea. *ahem* thanks jarod for these questions.

1. How do you feel about your starting team? Anyone you are happy/upset to see? OOOOH i feel like my team is very CUTE! like i didn't think autumn was gonna put me and mikki in the same tribe lmao .. i thought it was gonna be divided from ur race and u know mikki is white and i'm not. ANYWAYS, im happy to see mikki in my team of course. thats my ride or die and i know i'm gonna have someone i can 100% trust no matter what for sure. but blake knows for sure that mikki and i are very close so thats gonna be interesting. which leads to the next part, i'm kinda eh with blake in my tribe thats only because our previous experience in CoW so i just hope that its gonna be better here this time *prays*.. for others, i don't know them before so i'm excited to get to know them!!!

2. Who are you most excited to play with on the cast? Most afraid of? oh of course mikki for sure and another person is geekoffilm cause u know we're like besties besties and i love both of them so much. most afraid of... probably monty tbh. they tried to gun for me/mikki(/cora) in jarod's mini so i think they know that mikki and i are gonna be tight so i'm just gonna have to keep an eyes on them cause they are a great player.

3. What are your first impressions of everyone based on this first challenge? OH GOD. i love benj!! benj is very organized so we started off pretty well. i threw out lush life randomly and then we decided to go with lush life, how cute!!! but yea, benj and mikki have done lots of works and i love THEM. RAFFY ALSO DID AMAZING in his parts!!! like he has PROPS and his camp is sooooo summery and AHH he's so great. blake.. ahem if blake didn't look at his lyrics at the first part, it would've been a bit better. and idk about khalid. i'm very worried cause khalid hasn't sent any of his parts yet. and like he seems inactive??? so idk but i don't wanna lose the points for full team participation :oooooh: I DIDNT JUST SHOW ANYONE I CANT DANCE TO LOSE AND I DIDNT HAVE TO DANCE AND MAKE MY LEGS ACHE JUST TO LOSE!!! SOBS!! but that is a sign that tells me i should exercise more x ANYWAYS!!!! its just interesting point to add x

4. What is your strategy going into the first portion of the game? trying to lay low and build some connections with ppl from my tribe. benj and raffy for sure. i rlly like their vibes so i need to stick with them. and just try not to lose challenges cause its gonna be suck voting one of them out. also, if we somehow win, i want to send someone who i can trust moving forward to exiled island.. but we'll see. its gonna be a lot of thinking and convincing people.

5. How do you want other people in the game to view you in the early stages of the game? as someone who they can trust and talk to and someone who always puts effort into challenges cause thats what most important in the first stage of the game.. i'll come back here after results x

HELLO AUTUMNS WORLD IM PISSED! not about raffy getting sent to the outback. its what raffy deserved. i like raffy so thats fine i just need to work on my relationship with him after he comes back. BUT KHALID. GOD. he just doesnt care about the challenge AT ALL. he was inactive. he didnt even talk about the challenge. and then coming to the chat and telling us SORRY after we have submitted… god thats BS. we literally all put our effort into this. and for someone who just dont care about the pandemic (idk about the uk but i guess they allow partying now) and go out and party. GOD i mean he’s going back to bahrain anyways WELL GUESS WHAT, HERE IS ANOTHER PLANE TICKET HOME. take that and sashay away babe

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cause thats just FUCKED UP. everyone put their efforts in. benj — his leg is HURTING he cant move much btut he still did his parts and helped us with the editing. RAFFY — he literally worked 8 to 5 but he still found time to just shoot his parts and like more random parts. blake — well even though he didnt study the song much, he still did it and he is a team player. MIKKI — well u know i love mikki and ik how much shes in her head for this challenge but every scene she is on, i smile watching her because she just did it SO WELL PLUS she stayed up late for khalid and her health is not good. fucked up khalid u done fucked up enough. hope u enjoyed ur short time at autumns world.

First challenge, done, middle of the road WOOOOOOOOOOOOO, absolutely love that my music video streak has been continuing! Coming into this game, I felt absolutely nervous as hell about playing with 2 winners on my team, but in all honesty, I’m gonna take the Jinx approach- Embrace it, you don’t get another opportunity like this. I love the fact that I’m being more engaged than before and that’s what I want to be, especially in confessionals. I’m always trying to be better, and how can I better myself I HATE THE WAY MARV ALBERT PRONOUNCES PARENTHESES, YOU DON’T SAY IT LIKE “THE C’s”? JESUS MARV ITS GONNA BE YOUR LAST GAME YOU CALL IN YOUR CAREER COME ON MAN.

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I hate to be called Joestradamus, but when Captain or Mikki get voted out first because of how tight knit they are, don’t @ me

*slides into splits* WE WON YES YES YES YES WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAH

re khalid missing the challenge: no everyone in our team worked rlly hard on that except khalid who went out fucking partying then he lied about going to send the vid soon cause you know what if he already filmed his parts, looking for a vid and click send are not that hard he fucking told us he was about to send ASAP and then disappeared and then had the NERVE to tell us AFTER THE DEADLINE that he's so SORRY OH PLS

This tribe name is Autumn's last name backwards! https://thumbs.gfycat.com/VigorousBiodegradableIrishterrier-size_restricted.gif

Now that that is out of the way, let me list my tribemates... Giraffez Joey Lily C Lily O Monty. Something is incredibly amusing about how there is a tribe with someone named Chips and someone named Giraffez. What is not amusing is that I get a "I don't like/want to speak to/etc." vibe from Giraffez? I could just be a delicate and annoying flower but our conversations have been short and dry. Joey has some great high energy and excitement and I love that he loves being part of this game. He is also pretty fun to talk to. Hoping that we can keep an open dialogue and that perhaps I can rope him into a future alliance of sorts. Lily C is a sweetheart truly and I adore her personality so much. She is such a go-getter and goes to bat for those with who she feels can be loyal. I'm hoping that we can build loyalty and trust together. Lily O has been busy with work at a bowling alley. That's actually really cool because when I was a child that was my dream job. Not even joking... my parents were in leagues when I was growing up and my brother and I entered ones designed for children. It was a big thing in my family and I thought that I would love to be in that "atmosphere" all the time. Anyway, we haven't spoken until after the results were announced so honestly if I had to guess I was their intended target if we had had tribal council and they were mine?? (perhaps...) It has been really nice getting to connect with Monty and really cool finding out that they are beginning job searching after college and thinking of pursuing education as a career. I have a soft spot in my heart for all educators.

Okay so I'm just going to say this now. Autumn needs to simplify the twists to more like Blue's Clues with an OBVIOUS large blue paw prints where I'm supposed to look. I have no idea what that announcement was about war rooming someone into the game and feel like I"m fifty million steps behind these big-brained people who figured it out. https://media2.giphy.com/media/m59avtxDzXeiQ/200.gif

I think that I missed the message about what we do with tickets or I'm still just as clueless as previously stated but I am intrigued nonetheless. I think even if I knew what to do with them I would just hoard them like I would Chuck E. Cheese tickets in case something else came along. Hope they're not like Fire Tokens and let you buy like Peanut Butter and Idols because I am anti- fire token. https://media.tenor.com/images/d7de1f75f2c43f8e044e958b964430fa/tenor.gif

On a side note, I'm paranoid when I see people on calls because even if they're not talking about me or plotting they are potentially aligning with each other and that does not include me. I don't really know much about how calls work on Discord as I am a pretty big noob generally speaking with the platform but it did say that Joey and Giraffez were on a call earlier?? I'm stressed. https://media0.giphy.com/media/3o7TKRwpns23QMNNiE/200.gif --- http://www.purplerockpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/survivor-pearlislands-lillian-morris-post-savage-blindside.gif

https://voca.ro/1lb9WKsDr6xA

Ok.....so after talking to Joey a little ive learned a few things mikki is a bit of a beast Benj is well......social to and everyone despised Mesopotamia........which i get from the stuff that pumped me up to 16th place that season but I'm mostly hoping that i can make it to the end this time....... So far I've talked to pretty much everyone Lilly and Joey and monty not sure which one really but the one whose discord is 13survivirgirl13 so hopefully soon i can work out some kind of an alliance with them and if we swap or merge from three to two either next week or the week after (probably the week after honestly) i feel i can maybe set us up as one and us four can really rule the roost for a moment....hopefully.....who knows i could just he a delusional old queen whose doomed to be nothing more then premerge every time i play tumblr survivor......or maybe I'm just crazy *shrugs* either way it should be a damn good hoot

we won the first challenge, god bless. which brings up something funky i realized: that the best part about winning immunity is having the day off. and also…idk something just doesn’t sit right…the way autumn was emphasizing that someone would be eliminated from the game…like….hm……….idk….never trust a bitch named after a season!

omg we lost AHHHH but thankfully we have an easy boot sorry khalid im glad i dont have to vote mikki captain or blake eeek pls lets win the next one

I'm totally pumped for this game! Like when I saw my tribe and Jinx is on it I screamed! I want us to have the same success of being together at ftc!! Jude honestly is great to me and I'm enjoying getting to know her a lot, Ricky I remember from HvV4 but we both say no to that and start anew! Bryan I am hopeful to talk more since its been dry and that is okay. Sucks we ended losing Michelle early but I am sure it was for the best! We WILL reign successful

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Yesterday was so stressful to me like editing I have no problem with but I thought my biggest worry was that I needed Bryan to submit stuff late-ish. But turns out an hour before due time thd program wanted to stop working 🙃🥲 and I felt so close to wanting to forfeit- which is something I never do but I just felt hopeless and guilty and even imagined getting voted out. So I had to call Jinx who assured me something could be salvaged and they'd make sure I would stay (rip Bryan) but after the extension by cool hosts I found encouragement and did my magic stuff. SOMEHOW we won and to be honest I dont think anything will top that feeling of relief in the org (give me 3 days) but man what a ride yesterday was for me!

I got a Super Idol! Well, at least I now know that I can fuck around in this game a little bit more since I have this extra insurance in my back pocket which guarantees I stay around in the long run. I want to start getting into alliances because being a solo person with not much time on their hands is definitely a scary position to be in. Preferably, I want an alliance with Nikki and Benj (though I suspect that they already have an alliance with at least one other person on the tribe). It does suck that I am not at tribal considering that it will help build my bonds even stronger. I guess I just have to suffer for the time being

i think this is gonna be an easy vote cause khalid needs to go. but idk you can never feel safe in survivor :/ but so far everyone has been telling me they're voting khalid so lets pray

Omg that immunity was so hard, I literally did not know what I was doing and I think out of everyone I was a bit lackluster. I will say on the tribe I have not really talked to all of them but I will say I trust Jinx the most and we have talked a lot and I think that moving forward we will have each others back. All I need to do is talk to the rest of the tribe and form bonds that will last me to a swap or merge.

https://youtu.be/kKOciJGjrzw

https://youtu.be/mx7WPjx8zCk

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khalid babe this ones for you 🥺 https://youtu.be/QX2boYNUbxw

#tsaw #episodes

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