#i am drawing them from memory but thats ok

[giganonyx]

LET ME COOK

DO U GUYS

DO YOU GUYS THINK THAT MAYBE

JUST MAYBE

CROSSHAIR MIGHT KNOW THAT TECH IS AN OPERATIVE (SPECIFICALLY THE ONE HE WAS THROWING HANDS WITH)

OK LIKE HEAR ME OUT BUT

Crosshair definitely is STILL hiding something. The operatives make him MADLY uncomfortable- the sense of strange brotherhood between them scares him more than anything we’ve seen so far, maybe because, well, loyalty is a big deal to him, but also because one of them may actually be his brother.

He did not mention he was being put through operative✨ pre school ✨until Howzer pressed for answers, and he was forced to spill some beans. But I don’t think that’s all he’s keeping secret. Like, he wanted to keep the operative as FAR away from his brothers as possible(ie, drawing fire away, 1v1ing)- why? Could it just be he wants to deal with these clones on his own? Spare his brothers the fight? Protect them?

Or is it because he doesn’t want to traumatize them further with a brainwashed Tech? He doesn’t want their memory of their “dearly departed” brother to be marred by this…hollow, empty assassin before him. He can’t do that to them. But he *knows*, and it’s eating him alive.

There’s still so much he’s keeping from everyone, and not even Omega knows what he witnessed on Tantiss. He knows things, and he’s too afraid to admit them.

…..IDK THESE EPISODES KILLED ME MENTALLY THEY WERE SO GOOD BUT LEFT ME WITH SO MANY QUESTIONSSSSS AHHH

Plussss I wanna see more Hunter and wrecker content PLEASE my pookies need more screen time before I become a crosswhore AND Hunter girlie (one Star Wars man obsession is ENOUGH PLEASE).

ALSO THE THEORY THAT HUNTER DIES THIS SEASON IS KINDA STARTING TO FERMENT IN MY BRAIN BC WHY ELSE WOULD THEY ESTABLISH CROSSHAIR AS AN INCREASINGLY PARENTAL, DADDY MATERIAL GUY??? ESPECIALLY WITH HUNTER NOTICING OMEGA AND CROSS GROWING CLOSER I am ill do not let me think

I can see it now, Hunter sacrifices himself, but before he does, he tells Crosshair that “I know you’ll protect her. I trust you.” And then he fucking DIES, content with knowing Crosshair can be her newfound dad and protect her when he can no longer do so (I am in pain).

also when Hunter stood up for Crosshair >>>>> THATS MY MAN YALL HE WAS FR LIKE “ay man only I can shit on my brother man fuck off”

ALSO when Crosshair said “too bad” something changed in me (trying to resist crosswhore feelings)

There are two wolves inside of me (Hunter Wife (he’s the love of my LIFE) and Crosswhore) (actually three bc I’m also. A wrecker simp.)

#the bad batch #sw tbb #tbb #star wars tbb #hunter tbb #hunter the bad batch #star wars hunter #the bad batch s3 #the bad batch tech #the bad batch crosshair #the bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #tbb s3 spoilers #tbb s3 #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #losing my mind #ramblings of a lunatic #a mad man

[unhingedkinfessions]

so like not really a kinfession but kinda wanna know if how im feeling abt this is valid (no pressure to respond if u guys dont want to btw!)

so my bf and i are planning on making a comic based around our "sonas" (idk what else to call them), but how these came to be was us literally drawing ourselves how we see ourselves essentially. like for me, im demonkin, so i just drew how i remember myself and then projected all my memories to this "character" and i think my bf did something really similar to that when making his, so basically we are these characters and they are us

after a while we added aspects to them that dont reflect memories (such as the two of them dating) but more so reflect us CURRENTLY, as well as some random things that just make sense and these "sonas" became very important to us and huge parts of ourselves (naturally, since we are them)

now wed love to do this and possibly post the series on tumblr and/or another site as a nice project between the two of us but thats when my bf realized: what if people kin them? and it kinda made us uncomfortable thinking about it since its based off our own otherkin experiences and that theyre literally us

so basically what id like to know is if itd be wrong to ask people to not make fan works (if it gets popular) and tag them as kin and stuff? weve seen people mark stuff with that and so thats why i planned on doing that, but do u think people would understand our discomfort? ik people cant help kins, but id feel a lot more comfortable if people didnt make it comfortable they're whole public identity based around one of us or used our work as face claims and stuff. am i being irrational or is this understandable?? (sorry if any of this sounds repetitive im kinda nervous lol)

the thing is, if this does get popular (and thats a big if- i dont mean that as an insult you truly cannot predict these things) yes there will be issues. youre not being Irrational, and i understand where ur coming from but im *in* the same community as you & kin also. if this gets popular, there are inevitably going to be people who dont understand and ignore that boundary, because you cant exactly stop people from doing that once smth gets big. theres a difference between like, asking someone to not kin tag an art post vs not kin from a Popular Piece Of Media, yk? it wouldnt be a wrong thing to ask for no. but if youre ok w the possibility that this could blow up ur gonna have to realize that you cant control an entire fanbase that closely and what ur afraid of is likely to happen. tldr i think this is understandable but im not just the average consumer that doesnt have the full story

#kinfession #otherkin #mod joker

[tomatoart]

mwah your art is good and nice :>

can I ask for some advice? no worries if u don't want to answer.

do you have any tips on how exactly to practice art? everytime I ask for art advice everyone always says "practice" but idk what to practice first! do you have any strategies for learning how to draw something? do you do excercises? and if so how do they work?and are there any beginner mistakes I should look out for and change specifically?

thank you so much!! have a wonderful week :>

thank you so much! im ok w answering! i dont want to speak as if i am an expert on how to draw things in general as i am learning as well and definitely am not completely learned, so i might not be the best person to ask since im not very professional w my art as I do it as a hobby (and I can only speak on mostly digital cartoon matters) but i reallly hope to try and help u out even a lil ! im really happy that you’re eager to draw :] I wish you so much luck muwah muwah

i also hated when ppl told me “just practice” and i dont wanna inflict tht on u EITHER LOL but also thats just what i ended up doing for awhile but i tried to find some things to help ^_^

tips for practice: My number one rule is that practices should be challenging but still fun, I know it can get frustrating trying to redraw a pose over and over trying to get it perfect. And over time it rlly is all about muscle memory, the longer you draw the more your eyes will pick out specific shapes in everyday life and convert them into its own vision of them! or at least its good to look at life that way, try to pin point key shapes and stress less on details in practices. after you look at key points, THEN you can go over what you have and draw in and over it to make it more “complete.” To stop practices from getting too stressful I recommend starting out drawing what you want a little more simple looking than ur desired finished product. This helps eliminate the pressure of everything not looking “perfect” and keeps your art more loose and fun. Doing this a few times is gonna get ur brain to recognize patterns in art and how things look/flow in anatomy and such. dont get stuck in ur own head abt perfecting everything to the point you either 1) give up bc ur not at a level capable of it being 100% “perfect” or 2) focus so much on making it perfect that you end up saying the work looks “wonky” or stale in dynamics, So while I do think studies help, don’t get too lost in them. I always practice with media I enjoy too, whether it’s characters or fashion I enjoy.

Strategies learning to draw something: people get mad abt this one but I think tracing reference photos is great. its been awhile but When I tried learning to draw hands better at first I would trace them then put the traced image to the side of the canvas, then try and replicate what my mind saw as its most important angles and aspects. Same for clothing folds/hair/etc! I think it’s maybe not the best idea to trace the ref and use the tracings as is, because you learn more from tracing it then trying to replicate and simplify what u learned into the style you’re working in. Find what shapes you like from them and don’t over detail it. you may have to go by eye and think “what parts of this ref photo should i simplify to fit my style” and for me, its usually adjusting the length of the torso and then the limbs by associations. i dont recommend feeling like u need a reference for every art you make though, its ok to let ur own head try out its own sometimes too while trying to learn this, see if it remembers any call bad from the past referenced sketches! over time ull remember where everything goes more, these days i rarely kick myself to use refs but im sure they still would help to use, but figure drawing simple blobby figure in a bunch of random poses was a big thing i used to do as well to get better at full body art + overall dynamics (still does this). also paying attention to silhouettes is great 

Exercises and how they work: I WANNA HELP U SO BAD BUT to be honest, all the works on my blog ARE exercises! i rarely actually do finished pieces, if u scroll thru my posts ull notice most r sketches. i usually just fill up a page and call it “warm ups” then i get attached to some of them, take a few, and just line them up pleasingly on a smaller page, then color them in (or sometimes fix the lines to be more clean too). im not rlly a person who “exercises” to practice, it more so happens from just me drawing a lot for fun as a hobby! but i really should. i will tell u this has humbled me a lil i need to start practicing too 😭 LOL but a good exercise is to look at what ur inspirations do, and study it. Make a collage and write out what you like most abt their styles/what u want to gain from them. For ref Here’s a page I did awhile ago when someone asked me abt my insps:

i also look at fashion magazines and as well as anime figures and take insps from that sometimes with learning cool poses and compositions to convert into my own things

Beginner mistakes to look out for: its hard for me to pin point “mistakes” beginners make, as sometimes we cant avoid all of them or even notice them, progress comes from growing out of old ways. some mistakes are even the foundation of ur future amazing cool style! but i think some things to look out for could be these, from my own old art experiences

Hands were the first thing I learned bc i liked drawing them. I don’t know if that is the best way to go but I think it is smart to practice sooner than later, here is a lil guide thingggyyy wingyyy from awhle ago

i see beginners shy away from drawing signs of age in people, sometimes adding too much detail on an older person in cartoon art makes it look weird, so i try and hit the key markings on ppls faces of age.

Too thin of lines. sometimes its a stylistic choice to use thin lineart, and it can look amazing ! but sometimes it can flatten an image if ur not familiar with its flow. im not saying use thick line art, but more so to keep in mind the weight of ur strokes, adding depth with a thick thin combo of line art can do SO much for the simplest of pieces. heres a visual from a while back when i talked abt my brush + more abt lines:

but if ur desired style is thin lineart that is cool too! tbh it was just harder for me as a beginner

sometimes artists think they need to do full lineart for everything and then hate how it looks compared to the sketch, do not fear i will introduce u to my bff: painting over a sketch, extractinging the lines, then calling it line art. i only do this sometimes but its a fun exercise-ish thing to do in a pinch. example:

finding what shading fits ur art. sometimes ill see ppl starting out who have a style thats very simple, but they use a very detailed rendering process on it. this is not something id ever police of course, art is each persons own choice! And it CAN work. It can be so cute! but sometimes mixing two very contrasting mediums of art can throw off the “put together” look of it. i use to abuse the airbrush tool thinking it made my simple style look super cool and detailed, but looking back on it now those pieces looked a little off, having such a simple style have somewhat more realistic shading. dont get me wrong the ability i see ppl use rendering like that is so insanely talented! but i found cellshading to be a good match for cartoony art like my own. a tip i learned way too late abt that is rather than shading each layer by color picking a darker color, instead use a clipping mask over the entire art (above line art too as I color my lineart) and lasso tool the areas u want shaded + fill it w a saturated purple then set to multiply + lower opacity. also, sometimes coloring can come out chalky looking when u meant for it to be smooth and transitional, i think this comes from overshading and overlighting pieces without reason. pay attention to where the light source is, and focus on making the shaded and lighter areas nice shapes that cover the necessary areas, then u can add additional shading to the smaller details of what should have a casted shadow/light  

its good to spice up ur art now rather than later, focusing making ur art pop more w backgrounds will help ur coloring skills look better too! i dont mean detailed huge backgrounds, a small lil color pallet and design rather than a blank white bg. like this will make u feel better abt it or at least it helped me *sweats* yeah:

beginners tend to draw blank faces like “:)” but I think a good thing to do is try and get silly with expressions early on. It’s okay if the mouth hangs off the face cartoonishly with joy or shock, it’s ok if the eyebrows are super high in surprise.

tracing and pasting it as is (already said this but I’ve seen ppl do it a lot with hair styles and it makes it look alienated from the rest of the style) (final fantasy fans found critically injured) n if need a ref for a pose, using a real humans anatomy as-is doesn’t look quite right on a cartoonyish drawing. Shortening torso and legs usually comes out of this for me!

flip ur canvas i promise u it’ll be less embarrassing over time!

using guidelines for perspective and foreshortening is GREAT. Do it stylistically rather than realistically to add some groove to it...yay. Having silly perspective in art can make it look like a 10 so easily opposed to a normal front facing sketch. Look at cool poses from fashion magazines! Don’t be scared to draw something you don’t feel confident in conveying perfectly, this is why progress redraws exist :)

Drawing the hairline b4 u draw the hair is great, it helps u understand where their hair flows from, where it starts and stops, AND prepares u for drawing bald ppl. Also don’t make the head too big, the skull IS bigger up top, but sometimes I see an alien head affect.

Anatomy is an interesting mistake that beginners make a lot, but it’s one they find harder to notice! When I started out, all my art would be SO wonky, but I didn’t even realize it! It still happens today too! specifically though I see beginners struggle with the arms in this department. My advice is to try and measure them out and make sure they don’t go past the knees, and are the same length as each other when Unfolded. asking for criticism is hard but it helped me realize when i would make something bigger/longer than it should have been in my art, and stuck with me being able to go “oh... i see it LOL” 

clothing wrinkles- do not over do it! Too many wrinkles and shading can look unpleasant and wirey- like a plastic table cloth all bunched up which isn’t exactly what ppl wear. pay attention to gravity too

I hope this helped even a lil im sorry tht I’m not very good at explaining or didn’t have much to sayyy! If u have any troubles no guarantee I’ll have the answer, but ur always free to ask!

#asks #faq #I hope ur week is going good n that u’ll have fun creating 💙🐠 #long post #not tomaart

[freakattack]

Been thinking about the wario guys drawing lately. It's kind of hard to pin their "art styles" because while all of their microgames are made by them we also don't know how they got the art assets you know? It's warioware. It's anarchy. In mega microgames orbulon has a memory microgame where you control what looks like a crudely-drawn music band but then in touched when you turn on the real-life diamond city news it's the same damn band. they just look like that. So you can never know for sure. That being said, here are all of the most unambiguous examples of their artwork that i can remember

Wario: i already made a post about this bht i don't care. Wario is an amazing artist. If he actually wants to make something look good, like himself, he can. But most of the time he doesnt give a shit so he just craps out whatever. I get it. I'm the same way except it just so happens that i don't give a shit about anything so youve never seen me make good art even though i totally could if i wanted to. Dont look at me like that

Orbulon: orbulon, i am happy for you. I do not hold this against you and i think we all have a right to draw our ideal selves. Who among us hasnt drawn ourselves 10ft tall and jacked. Hypothetically. Dont look at me. Dont look at m

Anyways unlike wario i would like to believe that orbulon is gracious enough to share his talents with others and thats why most of the other game and wario title cards look like.... that. They probably all requested orbulon to draw them looking super cool and gave him very specific and at times vaguely frightening directions. Red wanted to look like freddie mercury for some reason. Pyoro did not make any requests becayse he has better things to do so orbulon took some creative liberties there. I'm not going to post every game and wario title card here because if youre reading this you probably have already seen them and if not go do that. I'll wait for you.

Penny: Ok now that we have all seen orbulons beautiful portfolio let's look at penny's. Penny is very self conscious of her art skills and so her portfolio has only one piece. Penny do not despair for i love your turtle drawing and i would kill myself for you.

Kat&Ana: Flawless. 10/10. The best artists here by far. Put it in the louvre

Anyways i am probabaly forgetting key examples here as it is currently ass o clock at night so if anyone has any non-microgame works of art from the wario crew you are welcome to bust in and give me them. I'm making a collection

#the gang

[murder-cookie-dust393]

HAPPY 100 FOLLOWERS 🤯🤯🤯 -🎀

Interests: Astronomy, technology, Art

Personality traits: I honestly don't know my personality however I am an INTP. My personality does sorta fluctuate with different people I'm with however one thing stays the same. I'm always anxious and shy but once you get to know there's a large chance I turn more extroverted, but half of the time I have good memory On their promises. On the internet I'm more open as well.

Habits: I tap my nails against the table, I find it very calming! I also don't keep to schedule despite being really good at keeping promises with friends; for example I always try to sleep early but always manages to get to bed around later times. When tired I get way too woozy 💀

Dislikes: Traitors. I hate them so much, bitter flavors, NSFW

Cookie I hate: This is obvious 🤗CLOTTED FUCKING CREAM COOKIE 😡😡(I STILL HATE THAT MF 🤞🤞)

People I got in: caring yet slightly unhinged. I’m not that picky tbh

I pair you with...Clotted Cre- I'm kidding, Cinnamon. (THATS RIGHT- THE FUCKIN GINGER)

Tw: implied unhealthily clingy behaviour

Cinnamon likes that you have an interest in the arts! His may not necessarily be "drawing" art, but hey- his performances are an art themselves. Besides the time he's showing his tricks, he genuinely is fascinated by your interest in astronomy. Stars are pretty cool to him.

He knows you're a reserved person at first, so he tries his absolute best to open up with his tricks and extroverted personality. You're so silly, he's been targeting you as his forever partner from the start! He's actually very nice once you properly get to know him.

He can get quite unhinged sometimes. Not like to the point he's burning down buildings, but his magic tricks are quite the show. Nonetheless, he always has the time to be your boyfriend and not "magician who will only magician." ...Just keep your eye on him, ok? Completely on him.

(I actually love that goofy ginger so much. Maybe because I'm a redhead too.)

- Celina

#cookie run #yandere cookie run #yandere #yandere x reader #crk x reader #cookie run x reader #cookie run kingdom #crk #blurbs #matchups

[askfallenroyalty]

since the epilogue is close to ending, here's some sketches of wip designs

this is very rambly so i'll add ID descriptions later, sorry. (its 4am for me rn)

Frisk looks too older, they've only aged 2 years. both chara and asriel's designs here are SO beta and non refined. I think this was drawn even before Flowey came out -I wasn't sure how much of the trans aspect was going to come into play. I initially wanted the comic to end with Chara and Asriel reconciling after the Toriel-Asriel Airplane Call scene, but realized that there was too much unsaid between the two that needed to be hashed out and the epilogue had enough to cover already.

It was going to be a last minute "oh btw, since coming home Asriel is trans now, deal with it" but THANK GOD i didn't just sneak it in like that and explored the topic in the comic instead.

I forgot where this artwork was saved so I tried to draw it back from memory a few months later:

Chara's form was starting to come together -i assume this was around the time that Chara got their boss monster form in the comic itself. I like that Frisk has a Bi flag shirt here -I should of gone with that! The cheeks are more square but ultimately I thought age 15 wouldn't allow for that much of a change. so yeah, this is what an adult frisk would look instead.

oh! for funsis: did you know i was originally going to have the other fallen humans be skeletons instead of different monsters?

I thought it was too similar to insanelyadd's skeleton fallen kids. I actually am friends with Addy now, but then I had to message and be like "🥺is it ok if i also do this i swear i'm not copying" to which they were chill about. ultmatly i felt the designs were to Sans-like and didn't allow for much creativity. (also why tf does Hol have green instead of cyan colors what was wrong with my computer or me in 2018 lmao

I always wanted to show the kids age and progress throughout the comic. oh my god the hair is SO anime here ouch! anyway I wanted Chara to really lean into the "prim and proper" role they give themself. I thought it was so cool to have them cut their hair short in the back and have long hair in the front. (wait. wait, thats what Chara does now in the epilogue. huh.)

honestly??? i like "pissed off librarian" vibes this frisk has here. Also weird to see my Frisk without an afro!

sadly no beta adult asriel designs. no idea why i never drew any then.

Here's me figuring out how Chara should have a monster form -here's proto boss monster chara, as you can see i planned out the red hair aspect early on enough that this was before the timeskip happened.

um. anyway, pre-epilogue concept sketches. I think Raine had bird wings at this stage?? dang wild. Don't ask why Franky looks like a new yorker paper boy. Hol looks too much like a raggedy ann which is funny. Ursus... well, they probably won't look much different.

Hol eye concept art. done before they were revealed in the comic itself. ..........less said about this the better

And lastly, chara's boss monster design drawn right before they showed up. First one drawn <- left to right <- You can see I wanted Chara to have a hippy/punk design, but realized like, that jacket was going to be a binch to draw over and over. so i simplified it, and then was like, "ok this is TOO plain, i need SOME detail" and got very close to the final version.

alright since I know some people like color ref sheets, here

Continue Arc full cast. Was SUPER annoying to scroll thru to find the right character lmao

hol's prequel story color ref -actually changed the Berry's hair color last minute and never got around to updating the color sheet. was very annoying to hand-color pick from a previous page instead of using the ref :/ smh @/ me

Baker's Trouble.

OLDIE. From the Start Again? and Christmas sections of the tumblr version. God. Hol is so small. Asriel looks like a mess. Good lord.

Cancelled Christmas Arc. Chara was supposed to meet up with Asriel on a boat offshore of Monsterland for Christmas, but turns out Asriel was using Chara as publicity. Except... not fully. He did want to meet up with Chara, but they get the wrong impression that Asriel was only doing this for image's sake. It'd explore how the public views Chara as an idolized figure and how Frisk plays into that too.

Anyway the story was too ambitious and I should of started this on December 1st instead of days before Christmas. Plus, I wasn't happy with how I started it and the vibes were off. I might have this as a side story in the redraw but idk

Back to the Epilogue. I changed Asriel's dress just a little bit to improve the body shape silhouette (the dress is so plane its like she's wearing a towel! gah! I should have added SOME flair to that dress dang it!) anyway the dress is more... swooshy? swirly? and the teal ties up to the neck which works nicely with the heart locket and bow combo. Actually. Shit. Why didn't I just put the locket OVER the bow i'm so stupid that'd be so much easier-

If I could redo it, I'd make some changes...

now here's the cousin and sib groups here. Flowey is actually a little TOO big and not up to scale which is funny hehe (also more blocky looking??? weird) In the Redraw version I'm modifying Raine's dress to have a sash and other details, this thing is TOO plain. Franky's Mad Scientist like outfit could of just been an actual labcoat and ideally, the fact that Franky wasn't at the party could of foreshadowed that they knew it was going to be reloaded.

(...Which, actually, Chara's surprise was a surprise for me as well. That was a impulsive idea that came to me when we were getting very close to meeting with Chara again. Thus I couldn't foreshadow it. Redraw WILL have better foreshadowing U_U;)

ACTUALLY SCREW IT for the remainder of the epilogue, i made some changes I wanted to add detail and change some designs a tad -mainly to make the designs more distinct from each other and for story continuity. (AKA: Asriel and Papyrus are supposed to be the only "red scarf" wearers. Asriel's bowtie is knitted like a scarf. previously, hol and yun had red bows which made this match up less distinct. mew Mew's design was a little too similar to Sans' and Alphys and needed some changes.)

anyway i think thats all i can share now! thanks for reading and hope you guys keep following the redraw. I really really want a completed version of this story that's not missing holes. i want AFR to be complete and well, even with the epilogue ending, it won't be "done" for a long while. But thank you guys, it's been a journey!

If you hadn't guessed, I might be finishing the epilogue today (tomorrow for me, cause i'm going to bed in a few minutes). Depends on how much I manage to draw today, but yeah. Chara is going to the party, we'll get to say hi, close some loose ends and come to end. worst case scenario, i'll have to do a little comic to tie it off (like I did with the main storyline's ending) at a later date and this will be the end of the ask-able portion of the epilogue.

#redraw #meta #ooc #afr

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

vent post, .. putting it under readmore cus its long.

sooo yeah, basically, idk waht to do with my life, and i feel like a burden in the sense that i cant provide for myself rn. i never talk about my living situation but i am almost 29 yrs old, unemployed and having to be supported by my friends cus my family is too poor to help me in any way. like i have to live with my friend’s parents which somehow feels even more pathetic than living w my own parents.. i mean ofc i am very grateful to them for helping me but the guilt racks up more n more each day. when i was 14 my mom told me, ok you’re old enough to work now so you have to get a job if you want literally anything for yourself that isn’t the bare essentials. u want anything other than canned soup for dinner? thats on u. so i got a job, at 14!!! i think back now and im like what the fuck. i was a child... but alas. i worked and worked, i was almost never unemployed my whole life after age 14, except for during 2020 pandemic, and these past few months.

work, work, work, i worked so many piece of shit jobs, i never went to school or anything, there were a few good jobs here n there but they’d always end up getting sabotaged by one of my bipolar episodes. a lot of times, when i was rly desperate, i wld resort to escorting, which i just fucking hated and have been put in a lot of compromising situations and ugh. yeah, what im GETTING at is, ive literally never had security in my life, ive never had resources, the past 15 or so years have been lived in survival mode, and 6 months ago i finally fucking crashed and burned. like, no, i fucking refuse to work anymore, im suicidal all the time, ive never been able to heal from anything that’s happend to me, i dont care if i die broke and alone, i just cant work these demeaning ass jobs anymore. im very grateful to my friedns who have been helping me not die since then, i try rly hard to live frugally, i only eat what i rly need, rarely treat myslef, etc etc.

but now its like, where do i go from here? i know i need to start thinking about generating income again and it makes me so fucking sick. all i can rly do is commissions, but i hate putting a price on art, its only fun to me when im doing it for free. i dont want it to stop being fun. i dont want it to be about money. im scared to try i guess. i definitely dont want to work another stupid job but i also just sit in the house all day and it feels unhealthy. i dont want to meet people, i dont want coworkers, hate putting myself out there cus i cant relate to anyone. hate watching them in real time slowly realize that theres something seriously wrong with me, its embarrassing. i just need something to do.. i dont have a car or anything, i dont even know how to drive because i always figured id be too poor to afford a car. and so far ive been correct about that.

i guess this post is pretty embarrassing too but oh well.. i figure at least on here some ppl can relate.. like fuck i cant even get a therapist to respond to me. everyone just keeps begging me to get therapy as if it will save me. im really lonely w all my feelings and memories. i feel like im in purgatory and all i can do is keep drawing pictures for ppl to enjoy and trying to post things that are uplifting so i can at least make someone elses day a little brighter. but i wish i had a plan or an answer or a real goal. i reallty really really want to be nothing.

[astranauticus]

ok one last post about the Project to truly exorcise it from my brain. just some process/design thoughts (also now that it's done if you want to read my liveblogged whinging for whatever reason here it is)

first off some stats because i kept stats like the nerd that i am:

time wise making this animatic took about 93.5 hours give or take (thanks procreate process replay) spread across exactly 2 months

anyway when i said i finished this project mostly through stubbornness and sunk cost fallacy this is what i meant lol like a lot of my thought process through this was just 'no way in hell am i letting some of these drawings disappear into my drafts forever'

on average each frame took about 2 hours 45 minutes but thats a bit of an overestimate since i forgot to count some of the animated bits from the first two lines (so id guess the actual number is more like.. 2 hours 20 minutes?)

btw that line with the starry apparition fading away? 12 hours total

the single longest and most painful frame to draw was the one of the crew walking through tu'narath (5 hours 30 minutes) because a. perspective b. architecture design c. for some reason i put a lot of detail into rendering the armour on all the githyanki i drew why on earth did i do that

(its especially painful bc that frame was one of the ones that didnt... feel like an important enough moment in the actual story of the show to be worth capturing the way the wish or even like, endellion is, i just needed to put that there for the storytelling flow or whatever of the animatic itself and it bothered me so much)

one other interesting little mishap was that i did all of these on canvas size 1080x720px (so that's why the youtube resolution isnt particularly high lmao) which is why procreate let me put an absolutely absurd amount of layers in one canvas (all 8 frames of with memories projected on the astral sea were done on one canvas. 159 layers) because the layer limit for that canvas size is 400 BUT. i accidentally started the starry apparition fade on an A4 canvas (my default canvas size for like all my normal fanart) and i only realised after finishing all the lineart and starting on colouring because i hit layer limit so i had to resize the canvas which did... interesting?? things to the lineart resolution

also if youre wondering how i drew K-LB that many times in something resembling timely fashion the answer is i sacrificed some... amount of sleep to 3d model and rig him in blender which. honestly? i consider it a roaring success

splitting the frames by bar was a Choice and certainly a choice ive.. had doubtsTM about but thats the kind of thing you cant really change without bringing the whole project crashing down so if the frames seem to move a bit too fast im so sorry there was really not much i could do there

idk if people actually noticed the very very tiny drawings of the crew moving around on the ship in the 4th line especially since they sometimes get obscured by the subtitles but the REASON for that is in my original drawings the subtitles went in the top left corner but they kept conflicting with other stuff so i just gave up and threw them to the bottom (also i originally included the chinese lyrics but then i got lazy lmao)

anyway that little detail like VR-LA angstily looking at the sea reminiscing about the JourneyTM and the crew sort of appearing along with the memories of their adventures together was one of those things that seemed SO COOL in my head but once i actually execute it its like. hmmmm not sure if that worked out the way you thought it would buddy. also the tiny crew was EXTREMELY hard to draw so put that down as another point in 'me subjecting myself to deeply painful and out there compositions for no good reason'

anyway i called this my magnum opus but i do actually have some thoughts about another one (a companion piece, if you will) for another song by the same band because now that i know what capcut can do im.. really itching to try something a little different because this like powerpoint presentation style? fully a product of me using iMovie as my only available video editing software for the past like 7 years of my life

#rwd #asto speaks #re: the projectTM #one last time using this dumbass tag lmao #honestly? also put another point in 'i worked on a project for so long it became just a Project to me and proceeded to get #absolutely blindsided by the emotional affect it has on people' #2 months. 2. months. #whatever actual emotion this idea was originally trying to draw from is long fucking gone buddy #like i did manage to re-experience some of it looking at the finished product but #i appreciate yalls screaming a lot i just truly did not anticipate it LMAO

[sidesteppostinghours]

9 and 25 for all of them !! :)

evening gideon!! thank you for the ask :]

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

ok. so. the thing about me is that i dont actually listen to music all that often??? its mostly when i draw digitally, and im primarily a traditional artist so i dont really know that many songs. i also have shitty memory so its hard for me to remember quotes. aka this is a pretty hard question for me to answer, but i will try my best:

Caine-"Oh, captain, make up your mind/Before the salt burns your eyes and you run out of time/'Cause you're popping the cork, you get lost in your brain/And you lose touch with all the things that made you feel sane" - Ship in a Bottle (fin)

honestly ive never really associated this song with him before but i looked into the lyrics just to see whether it had anything i could think of them with and theres??? actually a bunch of lyrics there that fit???? like to the point i was struggling to decide which one to use for this. but i think this one, the second chorus, really encapsulates the biggest parts of their character. hes the decision maker out of all my steps, the one that knows how to make the logical choices and think his way out of a problem. but hes on a time limit. he doesn't know when it will end, just that it will at some point, and they cant stop if they want everything done in time. also sight and eyes is something i associate caine with a lot, especially closing your eyes/refusing to see. "you get lost in your brain/and you lose touch with all the things that made you feel sane." COUGHS. coughs. caine has the most gates open out of all my steps. i also fully intend to make them the source of hb 2.0. yeah.

Cyrus- HE WAS THE ONLY ONE I THOUGHT OF AN ANSWER FOR STRAIGHT AWAY AND I SPRINTED TO HIS TAG JUST TO FIND THE POST

look him in the eyes and say this to his face. he will look like he got hit by a freight train.

Cecilia- another quote!

im just gonna go ahead and put my own tags to this one because thats where i put it best:

#thinking about this again with ceci#the best part is the bullet hole#like yeah shes not ready to face the fact that everything shes been doing up till now#was just to distract herself from the absolute misery life became after heartbreak#she has FRIENDS she has people she CARES about and they even seem to like her back!!!!#she even has a girlfriend!#isnt that enough?#tell her thats enough#cecilia rider

theres a reason shes a thrill seeker yall.

Cynthia- "I swear, I'm so fucking sorry/I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all/But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all" - Against the Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

uh. *looks at cynthias relationship with ortega* uhhhh. *looks at cynthias relationship with sidestep*. uhhhhhhhh.

this song was also difficult to choose lyrics out of, but there is just something so special about girls who simply have to be the best they can to make up for the sin of being. there is something equally as special about girls who take their past selves as judge, and their lover as executioner. also "im not a good person, im barely a person at all" kills me. the regene flavouring on that line??? utterly insane of mr wood to make a song just for her.

25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?

THESE BITCHES ARE SO CONTRADICTORY!!! THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING CLASHING ABOUT THESE FUCKERS AND ITS DELICIOUS. not even just trait wise, but with their themes? their core ideals? their relationships???? its always some sort of fucking fundamental difference shaping the way they act and i am Obsessed with it. also all of them are dangerous and it makes me vibrate a little bit. rangers you are so lucky that none of them are interested in leaning into being a full blown villain. but this question is,,, also difficult to answer because idk how to pick just one favourite lmfao. i will attempt it though.

Caine- he is the normalest guy around. there is also something Deeply Wrong with him. my favourite thing about caine would probably be how fun it is to dive into his psyche! ill often have times where i get bored of them and wonder why i got so interested in the first place, and then i get hit with another round of it and i remember "oh right! its because hes insane." his whole character revolves around what is going on inside their brain, from their high subterfuge to their connection with heartbreak and his relationship with the puppet. theyre the most fun to play with in their mind.

Cyrus- god. my favourite thing about him is a tie between his stubbornness and his surprisingly strong sense of empathy. both of those were the things keeping him from becoming a villain in the first place, and now its whats stopping him from going back to being a hero. i want him to confront what hes become so bad yall dont understand-

Cecilia- cecilia is just. a breath of fresh air. shes easy and super fun to play, and while she certainly has her moments (i am looking directly at the checkpoint three mortum reveal scene), shes mostly lighthearted fun cruising through the game as nothing more than a silly guy. i think the next game will actually dig into her character more deeply and allow me to showcase the parts of her shed usually keep hidden, but for now im having a good time getting her to kiss argent and embarrass her friends.

Cynthia- somebody come pick her up please before she starts crying in this club. she is crying because of me but lets not talk about that. i think my favourite thing about her is the contrast between her general wimpy sad lovergirl disposition and her revenge scar, and how she chooses to cope with it! because like,,,, it is just so so tasty watching her fumble with the overwhelming emotion, Especially since the emotion is hurting people. she never learned what to do with the anger! she does not want it! she wants to be as kind to other people as possible! "im not a bad dog, i dont know why i bite" etc etc. eventually she might figure it out, but Definitely Not Now lmfao.

questions from here!

#theres a bunch of songs that have the characters vibesTM but picking individual lyrics was so hard #tbh i shouldnt have been surprised that ship in a bottle fits for caine #because i usually associate the song with chen so 💀 #“rangers you are so lucky that none of them are interested in leaning into being a full blown villain” #< LISTEN. i know this sounds like bullshit considering everything about cyrus. but i swear to you he could be so much worse #he acts like a villain because he thinks its the most effective way to go through with his plans #and his general lack of care for the things he does helps facilitate it #seperating himself from sidestep is also a bonus. I PROMISE YOU hes actually more indifferent about villainy than he comes across #THIS TOOK ENTIRELY TOO LONG TO ANSWER IM SORRY #I LITERALLY STARTED THIS LAST NIGHT AND ITS AFTERNOON NOW #thank you for the ask though!! #caine lynzal #cyrus becker #cecilia rider #cynthia garcia #sidestep #fhr #pulp answers #ask game

[chilei-the-hotsauce]

ALL the artist ask game questions. ALL OF THEM-

omg yes hold up

1. uuh krita, fire alpaca (i used to use fire alpaca but not after getting csp)

2. left? i think? i can draw all directions (-ish) (it wont be good but i can)

3. none?? idk bro i have bad memory (or maybe i suppress them idk)

4. anything from canon media. like i love you boo but why. also clothes and poses

5. i post very little of my art actually lmao whoops. very busy lately but might start posting art again if i remember

6. my hyperfixation at the time. or well, me. also art tutorials i see on pinterest, though that's a bit more conscious i think

7. SCULPTING TRADITIONAL PAINTING GRAFFITI all so cool amazing wow

8. there's so many that i cant even remember jesus christ-

9. everything is keysmashes. i do not name my layers. i am satan

10. mm i actually like drawing shirts i think?

11. music. fun fact i listened to paranoia on loop for over a week. thats what brain rot does to a man

12. uuuh hhand

13. i really dont know. every thing is my thing. every creator is admirable in their own way. love everyone. commit crime

14. death? eldritch horrors? blood? rot and corruption? yeag the good shit

15. my room. at school also because im studying animation and game design

16. making. sprite sheets. for 2d game.

17. i usually have a tea nearby but i always forget it. i kinda drink it halfway when it's still warm, then forget about it and then when i go back for it it's cold so i just chug it all and go get a new one

18. uuh i'd say like? 10? im very gentle and loving with my stuff uwu

19. no. i do not. ok but maybe like. cloth idk.

20. hands. idk bro i drew them so much at one point out of spite i just kinda got good at it and now i just wing it and it looks good and doesnt require much thought. and if it requires thought it's in a funky position but then i just wrangle my own hands a little, inspect it, and then continue to draw

21. lineless, painting-esque, thick lines, realistic, sketchy... yeah good shit

22. nah man i just go straight for the laptop

23. uuh sometimes

24. im satan i dont use references often. but when i do? yeah i think

25. i havent been told so idk

26. i. dont really intend anything on purpose? so when someone interprets something wild i just kinda go "yeaah sure! idk either!"

27. Dno. straight for the art. might doodle thine truly if im not in a hurry

28. nah, but i'd like to! i've made art for two 2D games in the past year and now there's a 3D one in the making. im charged with making the 3D model for our main villain thing and boy is it pain

29. bold of you to assume anything doesnt inspire me artistically (he doesnt know)

30. thats a great question i have no idea 👍

#i should be arting but i answering this instead whoops haha #i needed a break anyways so its fine #ask chilei #my beloved mutual #somebody (once told me) my beloved #chilei's on skooma again

[the-faultofdaedalus]

IDEA. AIRON MAN BESTIES WITH A ROGUE DOOMBOT WHO'S JUST TRYING TO BUILD THEIR OWN PERSONALITY AND LIFE OUTSIDE OF THEIR IMPLANTED MEMORIES..........

COULD BE AN ACCIDENTAL GAINING OF FREEDOM OF CONSCIOUSNESS, LIKE W/ SENTIENT ARMOR, BUT I ALSO THINK IT COULD BE RLLY NEAT IF THEY WERE A PROTOTYPE DOOMBOT THAT ENDED UP HAVING MORE FREEDOM AND CAPABILITY FOR GROWTH THAN INTENDED AND THEY'VE BEEN LIVING THEIR OWN LIFE SINCE (IDEALLY W/ VICTOR'S SUPPORT BC RESPECT FOR THE AUTONOMY OF HIS CITIZENS AND CREATIONS AND ALL THAT)

BONDING OVER THE TECHNOLOGICAL FUNCTIONS AND LIMITATIONS OF THEIR FORMS, THE PRESSURE TO APPEAR A SIMULACRUM OF A BIOLOGICAL ENTITY AND THE FEAR OF HOW OTHERS WOULD VIEW AND REACT TO THEIR TRUE SELVES, THE "I AM CONNECTED TO MY CREATOR, BUT I AM NOT HIM IN THE WAYS HE WAS HIMSELF AND I AM MORE THAT WHAT HE MADE ME FOR," THE STEMBOY SWAG, ETC........

I ALSO THINK IT COULD BE FUNKY TO EXPLORE LIKE. I AM AN INDIVIDUAL DISTINCT FROM MY CREATOR BUT I AM STILL TIED TO HIM. DO I FEEL OBLIGATED TO ONLY DRAW FROM HIS VISION? DO I FEEL GUILTY FOR ADDING ELEMENTS OF MY PERSONALITY TO HIS DESIGN OF ME? WOULD HE BE PROUD OF WHO I'VE BECOME?

TRULY THIS WAS JUST MEANT TO BE A VAGUE NOTION OF A POTENTIAL CHARACTER BUT I STARTED THINKING AND GOT HOOKED DJSLHFLSHFLS BUT YES HELLO

oh there literally are already feral doombots just Around. thats canon. they are... already sapient as far as im aware (but like, sapient in that they have enough of victor's memories and personality to successfully pretend to be him and sometimes for them to not know they aren't him. also they can feel pain. questioning why victor has made ten thousand cannon-fodder robots with also his whole brain in them which also can fully feel pain is a different post) but yeah feral doombots my beloved

there’s like…. at least two i know of. the one with the fancy coat and the one calling himself vincent that actually looks like a human, i love them. i have so many thoughts about feral doombots just Around and Vibin and its not like victor gives a shit. he can make new ones. whatever.

but also ;-; that's So good, especially if its somehow pre-reveal for iron man being Known as anything other than like, a human in an armor so perhaps he meets a doombot somehow (maybe it's stealing replacement parts from SI and when IM realizes that its not... actually taking anything dangerous hes like. oh. oh. because he's smart enough to also know why he isnt just going to get repaired like normal) and it's just, this sense of Recognition that iron man cannot say anything else

i think it would be good if it was like. iron man offers to help fix the bot. oor just, helps him. no expectation of anything else. and the doombot is supicious because of course it is, it was programmed by Paranoid Bastard Supreme, and it's not like iron man can even tell it why he wants to help it so badly, because even if he doesn't think it's actively a danger that doesn't mean giving it the information that he isn't human like everyone assumes wouldn't be... an incredibly bad idea. it's still attached to a supervillan, after all

(also sidenote but i am frothing at the mouth about potential doomquest in this universe it would be SO funny,,,,,, king arthur sends a pretty lady to iron man's room for "companionship" and iron man is just like. ah. ok. i dont know what is expected of me right now. also doomquest is very good to me, specifically, because its one of the only early comics things where almost anyone has more respect for tony than for iron man, which i enjoy, i think it would be SO good for airon man au especially if iron man is like. in danger of just... running out of power. technicallyyyyy i think this should also be a problem in canon, i think doomquest happens during chestplate era, where hes largely not able to go more than about a day without Dramatic Wall Outlet Time and yet hes fine just vibin in camelot (famously deprived of wall outlets) for at least a couple of days, but YEAH SEND AIRON MAN TO CAMELOT i think hed be both freaked out and also. sad that tony couldn't experience it. i think the background radiation of iron man's life is just... sadness that tony cannot experience any of the cool things he does)

but like... him continuing too help this doombot. maybe the doombot also helps him out somehow, as well. maybe subtly interveening in some fights. maybe giving iron man some neat lil tech tips. maybe a;klsdjfasdf the doombot still wants like. Something To Do and not just sit idle all the time or something so iron man hooks 'em up with a fuckin. tech support job. or like, product testing, for SI. something where he can just fix shit thats been broken in the stupidest ways or, try to destroy other things. who knows i dont. but maybe theres an attack at SI and iron man deals with it but hes damaged, and normally he'd like. hide away and do a quick n dirty patch job just so theres not obvious holes into nothing, but. the doombot follows him. and finds him. and its just... looking at eachother. knowing "oh fuck we're the same" and also "oh fuck he knows"

i think they should help fix eachother up and be buddies anyways it'd be good

#GOD good #wheeee bootleg doomtony go brrrrr #airon man au #just ;-; buddies #like i do think the rogue doombots are diverse enough #but i think Most of them would not go directly against victor #but also god. they help fixing eachother up and making eachother better im so. im soft #i do feel like generally the whole like. identity crisis from having made robot versions of yourself #is WAY less a thing in victor/the doombots than like. keeps happening with tony #tony: oh god what is me and what is not... at what point am i no longer myself #victor: if it has my face its me. and by face i mean the mask. #i think its fatal frontier where the ''if it has the mantle of doom it deserves the same respect as if it was me'' #i think its good i think its funny that victor just skipped the identity issues #i do hold this hc right beside the. theres Something about victor making killable versions of himself #maybe he will never allow himself to die but the doombots can #also like. theres Something about the fact that like.... victor very rarely and basically never Expresses feeling pain #(like whatever the newer comic was. judgment day or whatever. where he burns to death and doesnt even scream) #whereas the doombots on MANY occations like. scream in pain as they are killed #THERES SOMETHING. THERES SOMETHING THERE. I THINK. #theres something that i am Constantly rotating very quickly in my mind

[blookmallow]

ok i changed the tiers and made my own colors bc red to green feels completely backwards to me but heres some disney takes dont kill me

rise of the resistance isnt on here but thats an S for sure. i skipped a few things i havent done/havent done in so long i cant really judge it anymore (my shame as a disney fan is i havent actually been in the tiki room since i was like 10 but to be fair no one ever wants to go with me sjdjg)

some clarifications:

- i know peter pan and alice arent really top quality rides. they’re old. but its the nostalgia for me i cant help it

- small world is a disneyland icon and i have a lot of nostalgia for it but i just dont enjoy it as much as i did as a child so i was really torn on where to put it. this is not an anti small world space

- i just dont care about the nemo ride im sorry its mostly screens and i never really enjoy it much whenever i go

- all the fantasyland darkrides are the same in my head i havent been on pinocchio or snow white in so long i cant accurately differentiate them. the existence of mr toad is fucking hilarious to me though. nobody remembers the movie and the ride inexplicably ends with You Literally Go To Hell, which does not happen in the movie. why was this made. how has it survived so long. i hope “mr toad goes to hell” stays there forever

- i said what i said i dont like splash mountain i never have it feels cursed as fuck in there and it deserves to die long live princess tiana

- what the hell is that last one. i cant figure it out. i could draw you a map of disneyland from memory and i cannot identify that ride. it looks buggy but i do not remember anything like that when bugs land existed? the ride vehicles for the little train ride were heimlich, its not that is it?? the rest of the bugs land rides arent there. did something from another park get in here? ive only been to disneyworld once so im not the expert on those. help me i dont know who i am if i cant decipher disneyland trivia

#tiermaker #disneyland #i didnt make an F tier bc theres nothing i genuinely truly hate #i refuse to ever go near guardians tower again but not because its bad. its very good the theming in there is great #but i am very afraid of heights and it made me violently aware of my own mortality #mr toad is a disaster but its hilarious so i love it for that #all the boardwalk style rides on the dca side just arent for me that doesnt make them bad

[ninesugars]

i love june egbert. thats my girl right there. i hope shes having a wonderful day. you know who else i love? jane crocker. i think we should draw them together being family more often. june and jane being super close and jane letting in june on all the gossips! ALL of them. does june care for any of it? no not really. but she likes listening to jane talk while she does her nails and june is like "holy shitballs this looks so pretty? thank you???" and janes like "thank you dear. roxy showed me!" (and she puts an emphasis on roxy's name on purpose) and roxy runs out from the kitchen like "okay i know i am not supposed 2 be interrupting the sisterly bondin but i heard my name janey darling is everything chill and ok in crocker-egbert land over here" and they laugh. and june feels this warmth that evaded her a really really long time ago return in that moment and that's when it clicks that she isn't alone. just because her dad is gone doesn't mean she has no family- her family is with her friends and jane. she is finally home again and her big, goofy smile lingers on a while after theirs and jane squeezes her hand because she feels it too. and they know because they had the same experience with being teenagers- now is the time to make new, happier memories. june goes back to her place, only down the street from jane's, and she changes into a nightgown kanaya made for her and before tucking herself under the many knitted blankets accumulated from rose she glances over. on the walls are the shittiest drawings ever made, courtesy of dave and terezi, of course; then theres a wall of pictures she's taken using alchemized disposable cameras. she pins a new one to the wall and beams at it. tomorrow isn't a very busy day, just a quick therapy session and then she's going to binge a series vriska recommended to her, and she thinks to herself one thing she never pictured herself thinking after she turned fifteen: she's going to be okay.

#i like rambling sorry i simply cannot keep my mouth shut about these characters they make me insane #june egbert #homestuck #💬

[darthnell]

hii! :> for the fic writer asks: 3, 14, 15, 18, 25!

!!! Ty for these yeahhh!!! :D

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Ohhh I love all of my fics I truly do ;-; that being said though it would be illegal if i didnt say True Vengeance given that. Ive spent two and a half years so far writing it and i think about it Literally every day LMAO. “Favorite” simply does not encompass everything i feel about it ;_;

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

Also True Vengeance !!! It would make the movie ever djdjdjdkdk. Okay for reals though, I do have like some half baked thoughts about doing a comic version of it (mostly as a long term way to improve my drawing skills) so. Who knows..?? Keep an eye out maybe. In like a few years xjxjdjdk.

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

Ooohh so some of them are really important and i know them incredibly well in advance. Sometimes im just like “eh yeah thats good enough.” I generally enjoy it when my titles (fic or chapter) have more than one meaning… thats good shit right there. I do have a certain chapter title scheme for my victor exchange fics, which is fun (its just a relevant noun for each but it looks cool trust me).

My fic titles generally just come to me in a burst of insight and im like ok yeah. Thats it right there, and i just Know. Sorry if thats like. Not helpful 😭 ik when i was picking my title for True Vengeance I certainly did not have as much of the story thought out as it is now so. It ended up working out really neatly (also its vague enough that i could work with it xkdkdk)

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

God… cue me taking a trip down memory lane for my favorite lines from all my fics.. but for the sake of the question i will. Just choose one. (Being strategic and doing this before i post the trv finale otherwise i will simply never shut up xjxjdjdk)

From THE REPARATION CLAUSE (1st Games)

It’s fascinating, isn’t it? The power of one very loved, very dead little girl.

This one is. The ending line for that fic and it is just. Woof. I love it. I hate it. I love writing.

Mmmmmokay fine here are some from True Vengeance bc (shakes the fic like that girl from nemo witj the fish in a bag)

Grief is a howling thing.

That's what happens when you let the wolf out of your chest. No amount of regret can take back the bite.

I was supposed to kill him and hate myself for it.

I am sure. I can pull more from the fic, its 250k after all but. We would simply be here all day..! It makes me cry on the reg so there is always that.

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

Oh, constantly. Today, actually dkkdkeekdkdkdkrkrkskskekekrkdkdkdk

Uhh okay real answer, most of the time when i upset myself its like.. positive..? Like “dang i am Feeling Things about this line” or whatever, and i Love doing that. There Have been times where ive upset myself negatively though and. Do not recommend !!! Be careful out there kids ;-; i will say though, sometimes it can be a really good experience to work through something via writing, but still its beneficial to be cautious and take care of yourself♥️

Thank you again for the tagggg ✨💕♥️♥️

#fic writer ask game #ask game #true vengeance 151 #hunger games #hunger games fanfiction #hunger games oc #venatrix #hunger games fanfic #the hunger games #venatrix pyke #my writing

[kiilonova]

i am so like. metaphysically exhausted i feel like im going thru so much rn i just need to vent with timestamps

like i have zero money so my card declined on my medical bill today and i have to make a bunch of phone calls to places that are only open on weekdays. and i have to prepare for a market but my heart is just not in it. plus ive been waiting to hear back about some other freelance stuff but it hasnt happened yet. so i just keep working on little bits and praying that it will work out. esp bc i have a tattoo appointment i made for my birthday to keep from totally spiraling but i obviously dont have the money for it right now.

and i have to go talk to bf's parents on monday and convince them that im telling the truth about anything w regards to moving. when they dont respect me and think im just some fairy trying to steal their daughter. and the thing is i am but its obviously for the best. and my parents are excited that im moving back but they cant really help me until july and mostly once we're already over there. and bc of how little money we have were gonna have to get rid of most of our stuff and either fly or drive a car across the country.

and all of this while i am getting sicker and sicker and ive just been getting sicker for years and usually it gets better in the summer but this year it isnt so im really worried about that. all i want is to sit outside in a pretty dress with a fun beverage and draw and write but the reality of my situation keeps creeping in. and its crazy bc the thing is pretty much everything aside from the medical bill is already sorted out and being dealt with and i just have to wait it out. i just cant get over how stressed out i feel and thats whats holding me back from fixing things, leading to them getting worse. they increased my ocd medication but the pharmacy hasnt called me yet even after two days when usually they have it same day.

what is going on. im exhausted. i havent slept properly in like two years. i survive off chocolate chips and microwavables and vitamin supplements. i spend most days alone in my apartment sitting by the window on the computer. this is not living. this is not living. i am supposed to be outside talking to strangers. i am supposed to be making the mistakes of a young adult. i turn 20 in 10 days. i have not been able to stay sober longer than 3 days in a row. i have near-constant short term memory loss. my vision is fading. i cant stand. once a week i go to the park and run until my ribs hurt, which is only about 3 minutes. i wear dresses over my hairy legs and combat boots. i get boba tea and coffee and ice cream when i have 10 dollars in my bank account. why isn't it worth it to live a beautiful life? why is responsibility the beginning and end of my life? when do i get to fuck up without being incessantly punished for the rest of my life?

when i was 17 i came to the startling realization that when something bad happens to me, that is the punishment. before that, and even still, i believed that i had to endure the bad thing and then be punished for the fact that the bad thing even happened. then one day i spilled olive oil all over the kitchen counter and my father helped me clean it up and asked if i was ok. to this day it sticks out as a dream, as if something so kind could ever happen to me. and yet i feel like if i had not been treated with so much hostility, i never would have been radicalized the way i am today. i cant prove either way, but i know that the hostility i am constantly faced with is unwarranted. yet it continues, so what am i doing wrong? the answer is obviously everything.

writing this has calmed me down. i am one of the few who benefits from journaling, even performative journaling, which is what this website is based on. one day when i die just a little bit before my time, my now-bf future-husband will compile my unpublished writing and art and notebooks and tumblr posts into a chronicle of my life, and then i will finally be beautiful.

#cro vent #i promise im fine except that i have no money

[chaudharis]

hey ! would YOU like to know more abt him? awesome because im gonna dump my design notes and lore notes for him here for funsies! i just wanted to make an info post for him! thank you for reading if you do!

its a bit of a long one btw, so apologies for thwt. i am very much open to ideas and suggestions for developing this little. interpretation? au? whatever you might call this. feel free to play around with him as u like hes not my oc :^] just a fun idea

DESIGN NOTES:

i want to make it clear most of the design stuff is bc i thought it was cool. then i bullshit my reasoning behind it. remember this.

i also dont know how exactly to organize this so smth more lore related might be in the design section and vise versa. i dont care enough to make this better

also design is still very subject to change because i enjoy constantly fiddling with things. fun! might update if its different enough.

uses mostly reds/purples to directly complement athetos's greens and blues. trace takes comfort in this, for the most part.

just a fun idea but i rhink its neat to have traces Not Human-ness be biological, to contrast with indras being entirely technological/robotic. adds to their parallels. (and both of them being physical at all is a parallel to hammond being fucking dead /j)

wonder why his mouth has those faint marks at the corners? because it can do this now!

why you might ask? i dont know. ask someone else. i thiught it was cool. the orange line on #3 is supposed to indicate where his mouth normally wouldve ended. so he has a wider mouth technically!

hes much more movement based now! since this also acts as a fun idea for what if in a future av game(s) we got gameplay that was even more abt the movement. so hes pretty good at parkour now. specifically climbing. ive been imagining he moves a lot like u do in celeste, except probably more stamina and faster climbing. less focus on dashing. but he can air dash too!

he has his gun i promise he has the gun i just dont like drawing it it sucks to draw

yea so he is covered in carapace, since ive had to scrap that with a different chatacter (if you know, you know) i get to put it on the same character but in a different direction. i can do whatever i want forever.

size comparison over his weird. tentacle things idk what ud call them exactly. they got bigger because i can do anything. also bc when i originally drew them i didnt look up a ref (i rarely use refs for charas and prefer to go off of memory unless i need to) and so i was like ok so thwyre big right? right. well turns out theyre not. but guess what. now they are. it is so awesome for him

for funsies i think trace can put stupid shit in his hair. its a tangled mess stuff will very easily stay in there. he hasnt brushed it in years man. he always forgets what he puts in there btw so its always a surprise for him

oh also his labcoat also is Different but i cant figure out what hed have that isnt already in av1. so imagine he does smth new WOW WOW SO COOL !

LORE NOTES:

this whole hashtag Look is either from the original bioflux mutation getting worse or a few different ones. i havent decided which one i wanna go with. either way this is a gradual change. it will get worse!

see i dont have much for What hes doing because i dont have any ideas for what the rusalki are doing now so thats very much up in the air. all i have rn is that hes helping them somehow. not of his own choice really.

has a very. Not Great relationship with the rusalki. hes incredibly bitter about his situation (lack of any real control) and so. well they arent besties. hes a lot more snarky and rude to them. which is fair i think how would you feel in a situation like that huh. not so great huh.

his best friend is oracca bc shes the only person who hasnt lied to him and has only been helpful and he loves to chill with her. she never speaks or does much of anything but thats fine with trace, he doesnt mind. likes to do the rubber duck thing with her (says thing out loud to pin point whats wrong with whatever hes working on). she also doesnt mind id like to think

hes. a little more aggressive but as a defense mechanism. hes in hostile territory all the time and under incredible stress all the time, can you blame him realky? stress can make people aggressive, it turns out. crazy.

also with this, i say hes more aggressive but hes just more all bark no bite. hes like this

but if you take like, anothwr step closer hes like this

see. hes still kind of a weenie dw. i understand

he really wants to be kinder again. but hes not in a situation where he can. this kills him

also! heavy unreality issues. this is what happens when you spend months if not years thinking ur living ur life as usual until it gets revealed actually you were in a dream simulation the whole time. unrelated but i think he hates the movie inception.

the unreality is still a massive issue but he copes with it by after so long just going "ok well ill just assume Everything is a dream no matter what because the opposite would be horrifying and i have no evidence that disproves this. but i can act like i dont think this on the off chance rhat it is real. but i know its not"

doesnt come up much at all because hes not ever around someone New but he is pretty self conscious about how he is now. i think hes also a very touch swnsory person so he develops lots of touch related tics. like when nervous he starts to pick at himself, runs hands through hair a lot, etc etc. very touchy. with the parts hes most self conscious abt.

massive identity issues, especially because of his distinct lack of humanity. how can he really be trace anymore if hes changed so much, etc etc. those questions. he can feel his connection to The Trace Identity sorta fading as he becomes his own kinda guy away from this but it fucking sucks for him. because if hes not trace then what is he. who is he. if you tell him athetos hed curl up and cry

speaking of curling up and crying, thats what hes kinda doing a lot internally. he really wants to go home man and for real this time he wont want to go back to sudra this time he promises. but also if he does go back he will be 100% convinced that isnt real. which is fair

if you ask him how long hes been there he'll tell you "a few months, i think." this is not true, he has been there for years doing somethinh, couldnt tell ya what tho!

Generally Not Doing Too Great On Many Levels But Hes Dealing With It

ok thats abt all i can think of atm? ill update this if needed. otherwise hi if you read this ur very kind and i appreciate that. it feels nice when people read my stuff. makes me feel good :^] i hope you feel good today too. today is a good day

#txt #trace #beast mode #my art #wheeeeee !!! wheeeeee