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queenofbaws · 8 months

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Hey Queenie! I hope you're doing better ❤️ For the Weird Questions for Writers: 15, 19, 25

aw man, thanks vicky 🥰 i'm hoping i'm on the mend!!!

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh BOY HOT TAKE HOUR!!!! really getting to the heart of things with this one, huh??? ;P hehehe well, in that order - not really, yes, no. i used to write in my books a LOT more when i was in high school, mostly because i felt like i had a lot to say, hahahah. now? not so much. there are rare occasions where i'll underline passages (and i'll be honest, i have my hard copy of the (almost)s that i keep saying i'm going to read through and annotate asdkfjksldjf), but i just don't usually feel the need. I DO DOG-EAR PAGES IN A BIG WAY! I AM A DOG-EARER!!! most of the books i own are fairly old secondhand paperbacks, and idk i just...i like the lived-in, well-loved look of a book that's got some shape to it, know what i mean? like the FEEL OF IT! i super don't read in the bath, though, mostly because i can barely be trusted to keep my own bones and skin safe in a tub - a book would be doomed immediately.

but i don't judge anyone for what they do/don't do with their books ;) everyone's got different taste, everyone's got different hangups, i get it. the only book-related behavior i judge for is like, leaving gum or other bizarre goo between the pages, because let me tell you. i've seen some stuff in secondhand shops, man...

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

once upon a time, there was a small girlchild named queenie. queenie was constantly reading. one day she realized SOMEONE had to be writing the books she was reading, so she gave it a shot herself. and printed it out. in the family computer room. and left it. in the printer. where her mother could find it. and come to her later asking "did you write this thing about mario?" and she had. she had written that thing about mario.

she never lived it down.

for real tho, my earliest memory of writing like, a full story-story was in thiiiiird grade? and it was called "murder on a school night," and the killer used a power drill. and everyone in my life should've known right then what i was about to be, but for some reason they just let it all fester and now HERE I AM. ;)c i evolved over time, writing vampire thrillers in notebooks i'd pass to my classmates between classes, then eventually posting actual fic on deviantart, and now...ta-dah! there were definitely bumps, my god there were bumps, mostly grad school-sized bumps where all desire to write was wrung from me like water from a sponge, but i'm back baby, and i'm not leaving my shit in the printer anymore!!!!

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

look. it's not going to play. any kind of role in the story i am currently writing, nor any story i plan on writing in the future. but i will say. with 100% certainty. jack "flamethrower guy untildawn" fiddler is aroace. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

weird writing asks for weird writers!

#theartofdreaming1 #asks #learn from my mistakes kids - don't leave your super mario bros fanfic in the printer #genuinely cant remember what i wrote about but im sure it was dumb #yoshi was UNDOUBTEDLY a main character. love that lil guy

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25centsoda · 1 year

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I posted 4,669 times in 2022

That's 2,158 more posts than 2021!

45 posts created (1%)

4,624 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@imadetheline

@spell-cleaver

@meltic-daze

@quantizedweird

@boykeats

I tagged 1,151 of my posts in 2022

#star wars - 91 posts

#luke skywalker - 76 posts

#goncharov - 59 posts

#danny phantom - 58 posts

#art - 51 posts

#unreality - 49 posts

#andor - 47 posts

#darth vader - 43 posts

#leia organa - 21 posts

#fanfiction - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#was cleaning up my fanfic writing folder tonight and stumbled across another good one where i was like where's the rest of it wait i'm the a

My Top Posts in 2022:

Five Times Going Nonverbal Gets Luke In Trouble, And One Time It’s No Trouble At All

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39605064

Summary: A few pieces of Luke's life, from the marketplace on Tatooine as a child to standing on Coruscant at 20.

Excerpt:

The marketplace was loud and chaotic, desert-colorful and bursting with more people than Luke had ever seen at once in his life. Even the local school didn’t compare.

Everyone was so tall.

He let go of the embroidered strap of his aunt’s bag and drifted towards a stall overflowing with colorful fabrics that waved in the slight breeze and shone in the bright light of the suns.

The old, wrinkly woman behind the stall smiled at him with crooked teeth. “Got an eye for off-world luxuries, little one?”

Something in his chest told him he could trust her. Luke wandered a little closer, and dared to reach out and touch one of them, a soft, friendly blue. It was bluer than the sky.

23 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

Star Wars Oneshot - Travel

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29161515/chapters/90775276

Summary: Luke is recognized at a small Imperial outpost, and the Imps get creative in trying to control him long enough for transport.

Excerpt:

Luke glared at the Imp warden the stormtroopers had dragged him to. He hung between the troopers’ white-armored grip, leg burning from a blaster shot.

The warden deigned to look at Luke, face weeping disinterest. “New prisoner?”

“Yes, sir. Caught this one.” The trooper shook Luke. “Assisting the Rebels during the raid.”

“Citizen or visitor?” the warden asked.

“Uncertain, sir. We haven’t processed him yet.”

The warden sighed, and lifted his datapad to Luke’s face. Luke flinched away on instinct, not wanting his face put through an Imperial database search, but one of the troopers held his head still. After a moment, the datapad beeped.

The warden’s eyes widened. He sat up straight and fixed his cap, gaping at Luke. Luke’s stomach sank.

“Troopers, prepare transport.”

Kriff.

Stars only knew what Luke’s bounty was these days - he had certainly stopped bothering to check it. All he knew was that it was higher even than Leia’s.

And that he couldn’t afford to get stuck on an off-planet prisoner transport.

30 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

Two Luke & Vader Fics - Quiet Find and Escape

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40170924 - Quiet Find

Summary: As the New Republic tries to secure its foothold in the galaxy, Vader enjoys an afternoon with his son, and makes a discovery. Fluff and angst, but mostly fluff (Vader is just a suit full of angst tho). Post-ROTJ Vader lives

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29161515/chapters/100897896 - Escape

Summary: Post-ANH, Luke and his Rogues (including a new addition) go to Coruscant to raise some chaos. Unfortunately, someone raised an alarm before they could complete their mission. Ft. a tranquilizer gun

31 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

Whistling Fic - SW

44 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Y’all interested in a masters thesis on Sumerian goddess of the underworld Ereshkigal because oh buddy @five-rivers wrote a fantastic Danny Phantom fic that includes her in a couple parts and a friend reminded me and now I am back on my bullshit

To be clear I have not written a masters thesis, nor am I in grad school, I am just,,,reevaluating my decisions on where I will go and what I will do,,,

56 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #how did GONCHAROV get top 3 #brb screaming #and oh no tumblr how could you remind me of my girl Ereshkigal when I have a term paper due this week #I cannot write about Ereshkigal for it nor do I have time to hyperfocus #thanks for reblogging/liking these four fics y'all

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softestsaddestbitch · 3 years

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December TC Challenge

stole this from @elder-edda (sorry for creeping! just, given the usual demographic of the tc community I was excited to find another 20-smthg)

1) what color is your tc’s hair?

He has just, simple brown hair but he’s starting to go grey which, no lie, is 100% doing it for me.

2) is your tc married?

Yes? He doesn’t wear a ring and I believe she kept her last name which makes me think it’s more of a civil partnership since they’ve been together since the early 2000s at least. But he also will refer to her as “my wife” and was telling me once that they waited until “after they got married” before moving in together.

3) if yes, do you care? would you do something with them regardless of their marriage?

I know these questions are general but I do take offense at the idea of being a homewrecker/other woman. I’ve met his wife, she’s really nice.

4) what’s your worst memory with your tc?

I put my foot in my mouth SO OFTEN. Good lord. Especially my last semester at that school? He was acting weird and I had just realized after fucking ... four years?? that I romantically liked him. So I kept bringing up my weird age fixation and other bs bc I have adhd and am possibly autistic?? and can’t read a room to save my life.

5) what’s your best memory with your tc?

One year we had a really bad snowstorm, so bad in fact that I had my first-ever snow day. The college that I used to go to has four campuses across as many cities, and C has to drive in twice a week to my (old) town from his. Now, morning classes had been canceled but afternoon classes had been given the go-ahead. C, who does not check his emails until he arrives at campus, evidently did not get this message until he was already in town and therefore didn’t have a morning class, but did have an afternoon class. On this day I had a late morning class that had been reinstated, but my prof didn’t get that memo so I also was on campus but didn’t have a class. So I went to visit his office, which I had been doing throughout the semester (I didn’t have a class with him at the time) and we just ... hung out for like 2 hours. It was so nice and one of the anecdotes he told me still haunts me lol.

sidenote: at the time, I hadn’t yet realized that I liked him, but I still went out of my way to visit him. Damn I was a dumbass.

6) does anyone in your school know how you feel?

ish? I told a classmate but in a “haha joking” kinda way. And a friend who went to that school knows. No one at my current school knows.

7) does your tc know how you feel?

I think he might? might have a lil inkling which would explain why he started acting so weird my last semester. Or at the very least was told/realized how bad it could look that he was getting so chummy w/ a student.

8) do you think there’s any chance your tc reciprocates your feelings?

He and his wife have been together for around 20 years now. No. No, I don’t think so. Maybe in an alternate universe.

9) are you getting your tc a christmas present? if so, what is it?

I have in the past! Specifically like, a tin of cookies lol. I’ve also given him an actual present when I left. I do intend to send him a Christmas card every year but not this year because ... you know ... the apocalypse.

10) have you ever flirted with your tc?

Flirtation inherently has intent. So, no. How he interpreted our interactions I don’t know.

11) how long have you had a crush on them? what began it all?

SO! TIMELINE!

I was at my old school from September 2014-April 2019, I had C for the first time in September 2015. Like I mentioned above, I did not realize I had a crush on him until literally the middle of my final exam of my class with him December 2018, so I’ve only consciously had a crush for about two years now. However, as I also mentioned, I went out of my way to stop by his office, even when I didn’t have a class with him. And my relationship with/feelings towards him are complicated so I’m not going to say I did so solely because I like him, but I would put it maybe closer to somewhere in 2017. You don’t plan your schedule around someone you don’t feel strong feelings for.

12) do you believe you’ll get over them shortly after you stop taking their class/have the chance to spend time with them?

As of today, it has been been exactly a year and a half since I last him in person. In the time since, I have cried over missing him, routinely gone back to keep up with his current research projects, and made his picture a part of my home screen. I almost exclusively listen to the playlist I made for him - so much so my Spotify Wrapped is pretty much that playlist with a few extras.

13) what kind of grades do you get in their class?

Haaaaaa pre-supension I was failing his classes. My first semester back I got .... a mid/high 70? and I finished my last class with him with an A+ and the essay I had written for his class had the highest grade between the two classes so..

14) does your tc ever do any tiny, little things that you adore?

When he puts a hand in his pocket and leans against the wall. When he tucks his hair behind his ear because he keeps falling in his face (he has long hair, a little past his shoulders). When he can’t stop himself from googling something even if its in the middle of class. How you can ask him anything at any time. The way he would chuckle at my jokes. How his handwriting hasn’t improved in decades. How easily he brushes off toxic masculinity. His candidness and willingness to share little anecdotes. The way he used to always smile whenever he saw me. That he goes home everyday to have lunch with his wife.

15) are you their favorite student?

I was! And it was obvious to other students that we had a friendly, casual relationship too. For a time, if his other students had questions about him they would ask me, and I usually had the answer. I didn’t matter in the long run, but I was.

16) do you two share any tastes? movies, books, music, etc.

He’s a legal historian, I’m a baby legal/political historian. We also like the same historical cooking youtube channel.

17) is your teacher religious?

I doubt he would say he’s religious, but I feel like we have a similar relationship to religion which is to say no formal association, but had profound effects on our childhoods and subsequently, presumably, how we view things as adults.

18) do you masturbate to them?

Yes.

19) do you communicate with them outside of school?

I sent him a meme once. And asked about the socialist uprising scandal he was apart of. I also almost emailed him while at a museum exhibition with my history friend. These are all through email.

20) do you have any tc songs or songs you relate to your tc? what are they?

SO my number one song this year was “You are the Reason” by Calum Scott because, you guessed it, of him. But also:

I Lost a Friend - Finneas When You’re Ready - Shawn Mendes You Are in Love - Taylor Swift Break My Heart Right - James

& given the season, especially w/ what transpired last year, Last Christmas by Wham!

21) what’s your favorite thing your tc has said/memory you have with them?

One time he kinda trailed off in the middle of lecture after stating that he thought of xyz a particular way which contrasted one of the popular schools of thought, and the way he plainly said, “well, yeah, which I guess ... is I’m arguing it” almost like he was semi-surprised with himself has always stuck with me.

But also, in addition the memory I shared earlier, we spent an hour and a half talking about grad school and what to expect and how to get there.

22) do you plan to continue a relationship with them after you leave school?

I trid, I really did. But he doesn’t “socialize with students part or present” so I can’t exactly see him. But I did get some academic-related from him at the beginning of the year.

23) how will you deal during the summer? will you see him/her?

He’s a hermit who used my last vacation before I moved to go on all the vacations he had to postpone because he was working on his last book. And this past summer ... Covid. This question is obviously directed at high school students, but in general, he lives in the back of head always, and when I’m in my hometown for the summer my heart aches because theres a none-zero chance I’ll see him, but I know I won’t.

24) does your tc support gay rights?

Yes. He’s never been put in a position that I know of where he had to outright condemn homophobia, but in one of his classes, he actively made the choice to make the very first reading of the semester about how women in ancient times had more agency than assumed, and also how the woman in the case study was a lesbian.

25) what class do you have with them? And what period? Do you have them every day?

History classes. I won’t get into specifics because it’s kind of an eclectic mix and I’m paranoid someone from the area could come across this. But I had him twice a week every semester that I had him. Again this kind of question is more so applicable to high school students, not so much university students.

26) have you ever drifted out during a lecture thinking about them and missed information?

No. In his classes he is too enthralling, and I’m a good student otherwise.

27) have you stalked them online? what did you find out?

In theory. He’s a fifty-year-old history professor whose reaction to a description of the big lipped/tiny face filter on snapchat was “that sounds disgusting.” The man doesn’t have social media, and if he does those privacy settings are on so students can’t find him he thinks he’s very professional. I do visit his mini-bio section on the college website fairly often tho.

28) have you ever run into them outside of schools? what happened?

I did once. He introduced me to his wife, who said “oh you’re E! C has talked about you” and it apparently he had done so positively, and blew my mind because this was back when I was failing classes and also, as a person, I don’t believe that people think about me when I’m not there. They gave me a restaurant recommendation and afterwards his wife surprised me a they were leaving the restaurant because ... we had listened to them, and they also went there for lunch that day.

29) has your tc ever spoken of teacher-student relationships? what did they say?

It had recently come out that it had been found out that another professor had been in a relationship with a student and he’s the one that brought it up before class one day (with all of us not just me). He didn’t say anything for or against it, just that it was generally discouraged, but that most schools did have policies in place to handle the situation.

30) do you regret telling anyone about your tc? if you’ve kept it a secret, why have you done so?

Absolutely not. I can’t tell my best friends because they’d do nothing but give me shit for it and it would call every time I mention him into question. But the friends that I have told ... its been so freeing, and like a weight has been lifted from my heart. One friend in particular I unloaded on her all my emotional shit pertaining to him this past summer and she was so understanding it legit since then I’ve been less distraught when thinking about him. It still hurts, but it feels less like I’m suffocating now.

#personal #professor crush #professor crush community #teacher crush #monthly challenge #december

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abcsofadhd · 5 years

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On being diagnosed with ADHD in midlife

@campfiresbeerandcoffee got diagnosed with ADHD in their early 50s and I asked them to share their story.

It’s kinda long but its a damn interesting read about a person’s experience with ADHD and a late diagnosis. It’s VERY well written and I’ve only spaced it out and bolded it for better readability.

Remember, it’s really NEVER too late to get a diagnosis.

I’ve known people with ADHD most of my life. I knew what it was, obviously. It was that boy who was socially inappropriate and weird, the one who got angry too fast, who touched oddly, who couldn’t sit still.

It was the squirrel brained women I knew, that changed jobs, were super smart, had multiple competencies and could instantly grasp systems, but had so much drive they were always up, always working, always learning. It wasn’t ME.

It didn’t even occur to me that I had ADHD. I wasn’t a problem. I sat quietly in class, lost in my own thoughts, doodling. I could focus for hours on books, on coding, on the grains of sand on a sunny beach. I certainly didn’t have an attention disorder.

My dad died in my 2nd year of uni. I didn’t do well. Well meaning counselors said I was high strung and should avoid all sugar and stimulants. Are you kidding? Caffeine kept me sane. Eventually I changed majors, and managed to graduate with a BA.

I even managed to get into grad school, and did entrepreneur things too. But eventually I crumbled again and didn’t finish my thesis. I had anger issues. I was high then low. I would rage and weep. I’d spend weeks in apathy, when I had everything I wanted: a business, a wife, wonderful family. But it was a long dark bleak tunnel every day.

Then I heard a radio show on chronic depression and recognized my symptoms. Got some help and medication, and managed to co-found a company. The anti-depression meds helped, settling on Wellbutrin eventually. But things were still hard.

I got a straight job to help my wife start her career. I worked in an office, coding and structuring information systems. Prestige, recognition, it was great for my ego, good benefits and fair pay.

10 years in this high performance position I crashed from accumulated stress when my mom died. I was prepared with Wellbutrin and counselling and even so I burned out with major depression and anxiety and ptsd symptoms.

Took 3 years off work before I dared to take a job with minimal responsibility. In that time I had full on major ADHD symptoms but didn’t recognize them. I couldn’t say what I did all day.

I couldn’t make a list, couldn’t go in the store. Couldn’t read. Couldn't feed myself. Couldn’t clean. Couldn’t listen. Just- floated in a fog of stress and anxiety. Developed skin issues, auto-immune issues, insomnia, eye twitches. Couldn’t even sit at a computer screen. I was completely useless. Couldn’t leave the house.

Eventually tho, as I worked through what I thought was PTSD, learning to accept the new broken me, I was able to watch a full 20 minute sitcom. Success! I was elated. Who could I tell? Who would celebrate that as an achievement? Yay, you watched TV? Pffft.

But I was thrilled. And I could go to the store. Maybe even buy a few things. Often I’d just sit in the parking lot. But increasingly I could do some things around the house. Walk the dogs. Buy milk. So I accepted when opportunity offered me a lower-stress job related to my interests.

At my new job, I learned to make eye contact again, slowly re-learned to do simple math again. Cashing out would take me over an hour. I tried so hard to remember names and orders. Failed miserably. Tried to accept the new no-brain me. Found comfort in routine tasks. Developed coping strategies for memory. Accepted that maybe my purpose was to be a heart not a brain. My whole self-worth was always being the smart expert. Now I was busted. But that was ok, because it had to be!

Medicated with prescription cannabis and started seeing big improvements in depressive symptoms. That led to being able to exercise. Exercise helped immensely. So I was bringing in a bit of money, I was leaving the house and interacting, and felt much better.

Met a co-worker who told me about her ADHD. I understood completely. Had my first “a-ha!” moment when someone asked me how was it that I understood her. Oh. OH! Other people don’t understand her, and I do. Why?

But, I couldn’t be ADHD, surely? My coworker was classic ADHD in the way I then understood it. Changing topics all over in conversation, but I’d follow right along? We’d chat for hours after work. I grew to admire her strategies for getting things done, her tenacity, her acceptance that she could do things differently.

And as I admired her force-of-nature engagement with the world, her acceptance of herself, I started to be open to the idea that there was more to ADHD than I thought. I really didn’t think I was ADHD, but how was it I could understand and keep up with her? And when I asked her about it, she looked at me like of course I probably had ADHD, and she thought I already knew?

So after working with her for 2 years I started to read about ADHD, because I was experiencing a little less stress and could focus to read again. But I hadn’t found out yet about the emotional dysregulation. I just knew I was functioning again, kinda. And so I embraced the feelings. I chased them, like an addict, seeking to feel good again.

And boy did it feel good to let myself feel. I’d learned to build a box around my emotions, because I was always too sensitive, too happy, too sad, too worried. At my coding job, I just lost myself in matrices and code and denied my emotions. My coworkers had affectionately called me Mr. Roboto. That hurt. But that was the old me. Now, I was going to LIVE and FEEL HAPPY, and it was great. I was elated.

I partied and made new friends and drank too much and got stoned too much and talked too much and in my exploration I left such wreckage around me. I was oblivious at first. But when I saw what I’d done, I was in torment. If I couldn’t be a brain, and I couldn’t be a heart, then what good was I? I desperately wanted to be ordinary, but I didn’t know how, and I was going to lose everything.

And then as I tried to get a handle on my behavior, some ADHD memes popped up on social media, and then they popped up with a funny story and I related. And again. And again. And I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Your blog specifically woke me up to the emotional dysregulation aspect, and following that thread of research made my likely ADHD undeniable. So I did the predictable thing and denied it for another year.

Finally I went in for assessment because if I had it, I couldn’t let my kids go untested and if I was going to ask them to try, I had to start with me. Doc didn’t even blink. Basically said, of course you have ADHD.

This has been everyone’s reaction, when I share my diagnosis with my friends: “Are you really surprised, really?” Yes, dammit, I am! It’s surprising and hard to hear, yes, you are in fact broken. But it’s also freeing. I can stop beating myself up. I can get appropriate help. I can try meds.

I am terrified of stimulants, because I’m super sensitive to caffeine, and even Wellbutrin was unsustainable for me, causing too much jitters. But I’m taking my Vyvanse and being hopeful. If it doesn’t work out, there is a non stimulant option.

I know meds won’t solve everything. I know that I have so many of the strategies already, I recognize them in the ADHD forums, and books. But maybe meds will leave me enough energy to address things. Maybe I’ll be able to Get Things Done.

This medicated hopeful happiness does feel a bit like mania, I’ve learned to be distrustful of my happiness. But if it’s going to be helpful, I’m going to try it. It’s early days.

I’m reading Gina Petra’s Is It You, Me, or Adult ADD? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder. And it’s wrenching. I knew my latest crisis was hard on my family, but I didn’t realize it’s been the whole marriage, it’s been my whole life, school, college, career, midlife! It’s enlightening but hard to read testimonials from people living with untreated ADHD partners, and recognize myself in their stories. I had no idea of the extent ADHD was contributing to my personality and behavior.

My wife and kids deserve to be off the rollercoaster. I also deserve to be happy. I want to look forward to each day again instead of waking up knowing I’m going to fuck up again.

So it’s not a comfortable place to be, here in the spotlight. But it sure as hell beats being in the dark and blindly flinging myself in a new direction. It’s revealing. It means taking personal responsibility.

But it also means hope. Hope that it can be better. Hope I can stop hurting the people I love. Hope I can be the person I want to be, the person I’ve been on occasion. It means hope for sustainable stable relationships and jobs.

#adhd #actually adhd #adhd tag #abcs of adhd #diagnosis story #adhd story

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snowyshadow · 4 years

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Tag game: answer random questions and tag whoever you want to

Tagged by @plumb19 Thank you so much ✨

1. What do you prefer to be called?

By my surname.

2. Birthday

Not gonna tell folks.

3. Where do you live?

Poland.

4. Things you are doing right now?

Trying to go for shower, watching some 911 caps on yt, watching the storm outside and sending memes about our stupid government to mates.

5. Four fandoms that have piqued your interest?

911, Fate makes no mistakes manhwa and hmmmm... That's all i can remember.

6. How has the pandemic been treating you?

Not bad, not great. Well, i am happy my friends and family feel good. I am tired with this shit tho.

7. A song I cannot stop listening to.

Another place by Bastille feat. The Chamber Orchestra of London.

8. Recommend a movie

Gone Girl.

9. How old are you?

I’m in my 20's.

10. School/uni/work?

Grad student.

11. Heat or cold?

Cold.

12. An unusual fact about yourself?

I was a bit of bad kid in high school (i was smoking, drinking and driving too fast in cars) and i end as law student who still loves manhwa & mangas & animes. Idk if it's weird.

13. Are you shy?

Not really.

14. Preferred pronouns?

She/her, hey you.

15. Biggest pet peeves?

Spoiled children, kids playing music on boombox outside (srls, if it's not a Party just get fucking earbuds), people who don't throw trash where they are supposed to throw them.

16. Favourite ‘dere?

Please no, i don't wanna drown in this dere hell again.

17. Rate your life from 1-10

The strong 7 - could be worse, could be better. I am living my best and if i can improve smth i do it or just trying to live with it when i can't and that's great.

18. Main blog?

This trashcan baby.

19. Side blog?

Nope (i was planning to made one for my 11k drafts xD i would name it "trashcan 2.0")

20. Things people should know about you before becoming friends

I like swearing from time to time (not in very vulgar way, but still), you will consider me a friend and i will like you a lot, but it's possible i won't consider you as a friend (Listen, i attract people and i can listen, but i am pretty closed when it comes about trusting someone and call them a friend).

#Thanks for the tag!

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sarasfm · 4 years

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Sarauniya “ Sara ” Davies, 24, pansexual, cisfemale, ISFP Enneagram 9w1; Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Pisces rising 1st year Advanced Encryption Major; did not go to a spy prep hs

Imma keep it real with you, chief, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. I mean, obviously, I know what espionage is ; I’ve read books and articles, and I’ve seen Spy Kids and all the Charlies Angels and James Bond movies, but I genuinely think I need a minute to wrap my head around everything. Make that two weeks, because what’s this I hear about two murders ? I literally just got sent here to be safe, I — I’m sorry, I’m freaking out. Give me five seconds, and we can start again, because I promise I can totally pretend this is all normal. @gallagherintro

full name: sarauniya “ sara ” davies

dormitory room: 105

birthday: 20 march 1995

soundtrack: “ go gina ” by sza

favorite dish: efo riro

aesthetic: when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of light reflecting from her earrings, eyeglasses perched on top of her head, and a caviar iphone always in her hands

Bio Points

her mom’s a nigerian baddie billionaire & her dad’s a soft academic brit

she grew up between london and abuja where their family’s business is based. it’s a trading enterprise, the largest industrial conglomerate in sub-saharan africa

she’s the eldest of three siblings, was raised to be prim & proper and groomed to run their family’s business. her family’s not pushy though and they’re really cool. very healthy dynamic so she doesn’t mind ; she loves her fam and would do it w a smile !

Coding is her Passion though. total dork. stayed up all the time just sleuthing and being an internet geek since she was a youngin’

loves education and is the type who would willingly stay in school to learn. has a degree in economics from harvard and was almost done with her mba when her littlest sister got abducted ! was it about business ? money ? who knows ! the sister’s fine now but her family sure is Scared especially since sara’s alone in the big bad united states

her mom made some calls and went “ gimbiya, look, u aint safe n we sorry. we’ll work something out to make sure u get ur mba degree somehow but shit is wild so we gotta get u somewhere near that’s safe asap. u like studying & ur a geek with computers right ? cool beans, go back to school & welcome to gallagher, babe ”

she enters gallagher in the middle of the spring semester very overwhelmed & inwardly ignoring how unhappy she is about having to be here bc she is not & does not want to be a spy. she just tryna distract herself by looking at this entire thing as a weird vacation where she can do stuff she wasn’t able to before because it’s literally detached from the world. she is mostly probably in way over her head, but let’s see !

Other Information

Nicknames: Sara (to everyone), gimbiya (to family, means princess in Hausa)

Languages: English (native), Hausa (native), Arabic (C1), French (B2)

Strengths: is money a strength ? also coding. and being the sweetest. and a general smartypants but that’s in a university setting & gallagher probably doesnt give a fuck

Relationship History: only has one (1) experience. ( well,,, 2 if a three-second drunken kiss w kass counts ) his name’s royce and they’ve known each other since their bougie secondary school back in britain. started dating at sixteen and went to harvard together. they’re long term as fuck. he’s like her best friend and their families adore the couple & each other. got engaged last september and sara broke it off before leaving for gallagher, oof. she deadass milked the opportunity but lbr she wasnt rlly Feeling It so she’s kinda glad for the ‘valid reason’ to appear bc it rlly wasn’t Love for sara so boy bye

Physical appearance: 1.76m, 55kg, long black hair, slim and toned build

Classes: GEN 105, GEN 206, AE 101, AT 101, PE 101

Personality

the sweetest. v charming & sensitive to others & curious about things. enthusiastic too ! loves adventures & is very passionate. queen of empathy.

she’s not stuck up even tho she loaded. she doesnt rlly talk abt her family having 12B or the fact that she’s an ivy league girl, bc she’s just generally very uwu

easily stressed and flustered and overwhelmed ! man, gallagher’s gonna shook this goddamn academic dork to her core for the love of god someone pls get the aed ready

rlly fun !!! can be a lil unpredictable bc it b lyk dat for rich girls. loves her independence which she hasn’t maximized bc of her ex fiancé & responsibilities but it’s chill so chill totally chill, no ounce of further longing exists in the crevices of this girl’s heart

she is so not good with confrontation and is so allergic to conflict ok. she will sweep discomfort under a rug and lie on it ‘til it’s flat which makes her a queen of repression & conforming

is she easily overwhelmed & stressed ? yes, but she’ll try not to show it so much. it’s all mostly an internal monologue so don’t underestimate her pls. she’s v smart and competent. can be so competitive ( albeit mostly inwardly ) and a boss ass business bitch like her business momma bc that’s what she’s been training for altho she is still generally a soft bab so ... yeah, if u would be so kind as to Estimate her, that’d be grand

she needs to always be on top of her game. maybe not the best in the class, but definitely pushes herself to be her best, so a lot of late nights studying & won’t settle for bad grades ever. gonna be rough in gallagher bc she is not spy material ok, she’s just a pretty rich geek behind a computer

just imagine her as the nice girl in ur ap classes who’s a lil awkward & just so happens to be super hot & stinking rich

Fun Facts

has a six-month old rescue pup named sooty ! who kinda looks like a sheparnese

has a tendency to ramble if she’s comfy w u enough or mayhaps if it’s too much man

is v diligent w keeping a journal & does it everyday

likes to dance ! not super good but she likes it. hits da clubs for dat shit

is a lil instagram famous bc she’s a gorgeous rich harvard girl & all that jazz. queen of selfies & of looking hot but doesn’t actually get to play around rip ffff

doesn’t drink much bc she is an extreme lightweight and 2 is her tap out limit

if she’s had more than 2 drinks, she is Very Honest but still very ramble-y

she is physically active but mostly just runs and does yoga. knows very basic self-defense. is not sporty, definitely not a fighter, may god have mercy on her soul

isnt a virgin but is not sexually experienced lmao lbr she kinda Itching to get out there

don’t ask me what her accent is because i have no clue it’s all over the place

Established Connections — just bc i think y’all would like to know

kassandra sutton — internet friends ! loves kass to bits. have known each other since sara was 14. when kass was 18, sara took her on a grad trip to montreal and became a lil lowkey into her. doesn’t help that kass drunk kissed her & doesn’t remember lmfao. poor sara told her then-bf & they had a lil fight but they made up bc sara didn’t talk to kass for months. eventually they became friends again & now sara’s in gallagher w no idea that kass is a mf sutton & honestly, my girl is just very shook w everything

Possible Connections

crushes — she does not know how to flirt. she is ,,,, p pathetic tbh but a real heckin cutie. will be super nice to ur bab ok

flirtationships — sara and i r gonna continue to keep it real w u chieves, her ex fiancé royce was vanilla and bland as fuck. can u believe she has not been single in a decade ? ? someone give her love & attention & fluster this soft innocent child. get her Experienced but also dont hurt her

enemies/angst !!! — or maybe do ! maybe hurt her. maybe obliterate her. maybe smash her poor heart to pieces, because tbh i would love that. so someone pls for the love all things holy and divine, someone hurt her !!!!

fwb — probably just one (1) bc she’s still a romantic ? and she’s probably gonna want something exclusive even if it’s no strings attached and will surely want to ,.,. get to know them a little bit more first ,,, at least ideally , idk , maybe impulse & thirst gets the better of her one of these days who knows lets find out !

friends !!! — sara will love u ok. she may be a lil easily flustered but she’s doesn’t rlly give up on ppl quickly. as i’ve said, queen of empathy. probs feels v sorry for majority of the gallagher & georgetown kids bc, .,.,., this environment just screams highkey Trauma to her and she’s valid bc she’s right

mentors !!! — she hates feeling dumb ok she Always has to be on top of her game, so u can bet ur ass after her first meetings in her classes she goes to ppl going “ hey could u help me out w working out ? boxing ? firing a gun ? literally everything & anything ? ”

anything & everything — meaning just come @ me & let’s talk about it uwu

( did i just create georgina’s antithesis ? fuck yes, and i am sooo excited to have a child that’s not always plotting & scheming & being mean like y’all have no idea ;_; nywy, that was long bc shutting up and brevity are things i do not possess. whats up it’s ur og flower garden girl rose here aka bugleweed aka fiancée of many and lover of all, and i am open to anything and everything ! just drop an IM or hit dat like & ill slide in ur dmz w love, plots & sanitized hands x )

#gallagher:intro

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songofsaraneth · 4 years

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wow its been a minute huh but ok!!! apparently its been... 6 months since i did a catch up post y i k e s but that about tracks with the chaotic state of my life these days. so uhhhh let’s see where things are at since my last update. honestly if u want a better more consistent look at my life instagram @mermaidjadeofficial is my more active place now just cause i have to be better about it for business reasons :/

I successfully baked that wedding cake and it turned out lovely

still doing taiko drumming!!! I had my first stage performance this september, I’d played at small events or on the sidelines at some local half-marathon races before, but it was nice to push into full song/stage routine. as a hobby it’s been really nice and honestly. everyone should adopt a hobby where the other members are predominantly women over the age of 65. Birdwatching, knitting, book club, whatever. It’s so refreshing to spend time with people that far outside my age group and older ladies are a HOOT. Also with all my joint problems I finally feel on par vs spending time with all my climber/mountain biker friends. Also Karen’s having her hip replacement in a few weeks so everyone send her good vibes for her recovery.

keepin’ on with the modeling, though took a break for the later half of fall. Did several photoshoots this summer, including a big bridal one in july. It was fun but now that I have some for my portfolio I’m pretty over bridals, unless they involve some other fun concept. That’s like 90% of the photoshoots in Utah though because of the mormon population density so may or may not be shooting myself in the foot if I stop those. I am really proud of how well me & the male model in oregon did at pretending to be a couple tho! being able to pose naturally/convincingly with someone you’ve known less than 24hours is a skill, however undervalued, and I am proud of myself for being good at it.

I WENT BACK TO IRELAND!!!! ahhhhh my sad homesick heart. Spent time in Scotland & England again as well, I went BACK to the ISLE OF SKYE, it rained on me there a lot again but I did get one beautiful day. I got to see old friends, new places, old places I missed dearly, and eat a LOT of pastries. Like, a LOT. I could talk forever about the trip so I’ll just leave things at that.

While in Dublin I also went to worldcon again!! And I did finish my Raven Queen costume for it and I’m super proud of how it turned out. It’s the first corset I’ve ever sewn and it’s somewhat a miracle it fits but I definitely leveled up sewing wise with this project!!

got back from abroad and pretty much instantly got thrown right back into fieldwork. I don’t think I unpacked for a full month and a half after getting back since I was basically camping/staying in an airbnb for work for three weeks of september and the first two weeks of october. it was beautiful in the desert as always but also i cannot describe my relief at not having to live out of a suitcase for the first time since mid july.

i just realized that the cake picture followed by two bridal modeling example photos below it make it look like i actually got married so just to clarify. i definitely didn’t.

on the weekends between all those work trips I also ended up traveling, once to salt lake for some photoshoots! a fun La Llorona inspired one, one of my raven queen costume, and one just fancy dress one in the Utah Capitol Building.

and to denver to visit my bf/friends including one visiting from out of state, go to the oddities & curiosities expo, and then go two concerts!!! I saw Korpiklaani and Eluveitie, and then Arch Enemy and Amon Amarth, the later two I’d never seen play live before. I love moab but I MISS CONCERTS SO MUCH sometimes ahhhhhg

been trying to get better at my own photography/editing/retouching as well. have done a couple portrait edits of myself but I think I wanna start getting other models to pose for me so I can work on faces that aren’t my own bc wow does staring at yourself for 5-8 hours make you keenly aware of every flaw your skin possess.

I also have been very sparse online bc, and this is probably the main important one and no one will read this far down now that i’ve burried it. but i spent most of my free time the last two months studying for the GRE, which I have now taken. i am going to try to find a school/lab and go back for my masters degree, ideally with a start date of next fall. it’s a big step i’ve been putting off for a long time but i feel like if I just keep waiting I will never do it. so. that’s gonna be a big life change in my future, assuming I can find somewhere to take me.

because of the above: i am not doing NaNoWriMo this year. that’s honestly the biggest bummer of my life right now. I made it 4 years in a row and it is always such a good motivational challenge for me. and I’ve even had things I planned out to work on for most of it that I was really looking forward to!!! but honestly I just couldn’t swing it and study for the GRE and had to put the latter as my priority. which sucks. idk if I’ll have time to do it in the future either bc grad schedule but... yeah. trying not to think about it too much at the moment bc it bums me out.

Kazul is still the most perfect and beautiful snake ever and our 2 year anniversary was a few days ago :)

ok this update is hugeo so i’ll leave it there. if you read this far, pls sell me your attention span, i need to find/purchase/steal one before i go back to academia

#ramblings #PHEW #now will i vanish into the abyss for another 6 months #or will winter depression drive me back to the internet more frequently eyyyy #me #my stuff #long post #LORD tumblr really killed the quality on those nice pics of mine huh #uhg

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cancerbiophd · 5 years

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hi julia, i hope you're having a good monday! do you have any recommendations for homesickness? i've moved across the country for grad school and am totally alone in a new city. i'm so anxious i can barely eat, and i miss my family so much. i just want to settle in already so i can prepare for classes, but right now i can barely function! ):

hello my darling anon!

I’m sorry to hear it hasn’t been a good couple of days for you! But I want you to know that it’s totally ok to feel homesick. We’re never “too old” to feel homesick. It’s sometimes really tough moving away from the familiar! I wasn’t close at all to my family when I moved away for grad school, but I still felt a lot of sadness when my parents were driving away and I went back into my new (pretty empty) apt. If anything, the loneliness of being away from what I was familiar with compounded with the nervousness of starting something so monumental. So I completely understand what you’re feeling, and I want you to know it gets better once school starts and you form a daily routine and are kept super busy with classes and work, and you make new friends and memories. You’re going to be ok anon :)

Here are some things to try that might let you feel less homesick:

Talk to the person you’re missing. Call them as often as you want if that makes you feel more whole. If calling isn’t always an option, communicate by other means, like texting, etc. One of grad school friends literally calls her mom every single day during her evening commute, and as far as I can tell, has been doing this for the past 5 years of grad school. If you want to talk to someone every day, then go for it. There’s absolutely no rule in life about having a quota on communicating with our loved ones. Just keep in mind to be considerate of not only the other person’s time constraints, but your own as well. But a 15 min chat every day can be totally doable!

Have noise playing in the background when you’re at home, be it music, a podcast, the news, a TV show, ambiance sounds, etc. I’ve found that silence can heighten feelings of loneliness, especially if you’re used to living in a household with lots of hustling and bustling. A friend of mine comes from a huge family so when she moved here for grad school, she would always have the TV on quietly in the background in her room. If things with words are distracting (like if you’re trying to study), I love using the Relax Melodies app on my computer or phone to play a huge variety of background noises that can be can mixed and matched (my favorite is rain + crackling fireplace).

Put up pictures of good times with your family and friends around your place (and future work space, if possible). Gazing at the laughing faces of my family and friends is the next best thing to being with them, and sometimes it does feel like they’re almost right there next to me. I get my prints from CVS–it’s super quick and cheap.

Make a list of all the positive things you’re looking forward to with a physical list on pen and paper so you can refer to it often. For example: you’re starting grad school!!! How many years have you dreamed of this day? So many!! If you have a stipend: you’re gonna get a salary, and tho maybe a small one, it’s a salary nonetheless! Your new apt is a blank canvas for decorating, so if there’s an aesthetic you’ve always wanted to try, now’s the perfect time! Even if it’s just one thing, it could help bring a little brightness to your day.

Try to make your new place feel more like home, by unpacking, organizing and cleaning, acquiring any furniture or supplies you need, decorating, browsing websites like apartmenttherapy.com for new decor inspo, etc. If anything, it’ll give you keep you occupied from thinking bad thoughts, even for a brief couple of minutes.

Reach out to your cohort, if you have their info. Many are probably feeling just as lonely. If there were some cool people you met during your interviews that also got accepted, think about reaching out to grab a bite to eat and explore the city together. Same with current grad students who welcomed you to contact them!

Get take out or delivery these few days. If you don’t have the emotional and mental energy right now to go grocery shopping and cook, that’s absolutely ok. But I would like you to eat something, because I know it’ll make you feel better. It’s amazing how much better we feel and how much clearer we think once our bellies are full, so think about what you most want to eat right now, and order it to go.

I’ve also been told that cooking something from home can help. But personally, since I’m a terrible cook, I sometimes end up just messing up the recipe and feeling even worse. But if you’re gifted with chef skills, you could try that!

Take an afternoon to explore campus. If the thought of exploring an entire new city is overwhelming, then start small with just your new campus. It’ll also be a great chance for you to find out where your classrooms are, where the best places to eat or study are, etc. And all university campuses are just gorgeous and filled with history, so that alone is worth the exploration. And even though classes haven’t started the campus won’t be entirely deserted, so buildings will still be open! After all, we current grad students are always there, no matter the season :P

Read a book--new or an old favorite. I know the one thing that will take my mind off bad feels for a long time is reading (or re-reading) a great book. There’s also something really comforting about curling up and reading too that feels like home and a hug rolled into one.

I hope there’s something in there for you to try, and that you start to feel at least a little bit better soon! You’re going to be ok anon. Things will be ok :)

Please feel free to reach out to me on the chat system if you feel comfortable doing so! I’m always here if you need someone to talk to (or give book recs :D!)

#Anonymous #grad advice #college advice

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12miraenie · 6 years

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33 & 40 with Baekhyun~ bestfriend to bf au.

A/N: Wooh. 2.4k….Oops. Enjoy💕

You could never be seen with him like that.

You hold hands in public, go to each other’s houses at 2 am, and have playful conversations that may seem like you are flirting with each other, but you can never be together like that.

He knows it, you do too.

The impossibility of ever being the one he loves romantically used to pain you, but as time went by you became kind of numb about it. You used to clench your fists tight when he smiles brightly at other girls, you used to turn your attention away and try to blank him out when he talks to other girls and looks at them in the same adorable, puppy-like expressions in his eyes that you wish are exclusively yours.

In your last night of being a high school senior, when you finally mustered the little courage you had after a few drinks, you confessed.

“Y/N, I…” Baekhyun stared at you open-mouthed, shock evident on his delicate features. The little fantasy you clung onto broke into a million little pieces, along with your heart. You knew it right there, and then, he doesn’t like you that way. It was the biggest mistake of your life. You bit your lips and held tight onto the edge of your beautiful prom dress that you had a hard time deciding for months trying not to let your tears escape. It took the last bit of your resolve to turn around, ignoring the funny looks from other people in the room, especially the mocking pity in the eyes of his prom date.

You had wanted him to see you differently. You had wanted him to love you differently.

You turned around and bolted. Out of the suffocating room, out of all the humiliation and hurt you just went through, out of the place that Baekhyun was in. Strangely, it wasn’t his rejection that you disliked, it was the look of genuine sorry and pity on his face. To be honest, you would rather for him to reject you harshly and stop being friends with you than look at you like that.

Of course, with your eyes planted on the ground and all the thoughts were running in your head, you missed the subtle flick in his eyes.

There was a sudden feeling of hollowness in his chest. Baekhyun convinced himself that it was because he rejected you, his best friend since toddlers. You who he knows so well and cares deeply about. He categorized that painful feeling to his guilt, and sorry, and to resignation. However, it was something that even Baekhyun himself was unaware of…until now.

Now you are both adults, long matured from being teenagers with rash decisions and uncontrollable impulses. You are still each other’s go-to person in emergency situations. Midnight calls, movie marathons, takeouts after midnight are still regular occurrences. Baekhyun had suggested to you to move into the same apartment complex since you chose to stay in the same city, him for work and you for school.

“You look like you need some help with that.” With a toothbrush in your mouth, you appeared from the hallway of your apartment, clad in a long t-shirt and a pair of slippers. A few bubbles were flowing out of your mouth because you were trying to speak with toothpaste and a toothbrush stuck in your mouth. He was about to hand the bags to you when you pushed your hand out to a stop gesture.

“Wait here. Let me take care of it first.” You pointed to your mouth and skidded back to the bathroom. Baekhyun pouted when you finally came out. He glanced at the clock and calculated, “1 minute and…24 seconds. You kept me waiting for that long. My arms felt like falling off.” You rolled your eyes and reached out to take the bags on his left hand. Your hair that was slightly tickling his skin, your hand that was over his to get the bags, your scent after a fresh shower that was invading his nose. The sudden proximity suddenly made his body go stiff.

“The one I want isn’t her–Ah! You found it! It didn’t get sold out?” Your pout was instantly replaced by a squeal when you jumped happily with the matcha bread in your hand. Baekhyun knew you loved the matcha flavored one better than the original, but it always gets sold out first in the bakery because how popular it is. He practically turned the whole aisle upside down to find one for you. Baekhyun’s lips curved upwards without him even noticing. Your radiant smile and childish squeal convinced him that he would do anything for you.

“By the way, there’s something I need to tell you.” Baekhyun put down his chopsticks and put both elbows on the table. He crossed his fingers and focused on you, who signaled him to continue with your mouth still filled with food. Baekhyun resisted the urge to poke your cheeks and cleared his throat. “Hyung is bringing his girlfriend home this weekend. So we decided a family meal would be nice. So um, my parents are expecting me to bring someone along too.”

You had finally swallowed all the chicken in your mouth. “You don’t have a girlfriend right now, tho.”

“Yes…and no. I have a girl friend though. Girl, friend.” He specifically stressed the last two words.

“You want me to come along?” You stared at him like he was going to lean back in his seat and laugh.

Baekhyun cocked his head but didn’t avert his gaze. Then it hit you, he’s going to introduce you as his girlf-

“You can just tag along as a friend. Besides, my family knows you so well already. There’s nothing to be worried about. It’s just meeting with hyung’s girlfriend. I am sure my mom would love for you to be there.” Maybe he read the thoughts in your mind, Baekhyun tried to make the line clear.

“Sure, why not. I haven’t been back to Bucheon for a while.” You lowered your eyes to another piece of chicken and put it in your mouth. Somehow though, it didn’t taste as good as before, although you aren’t half done with eating. Ever since high school, the relationship topic has become a sensitive one between you two. You still joke about pretty girls and hot guys, but you had stopped talking about it. Even though you told him 4 years ago that you had stopped liking him that way, Baekhyun knew it’s best if he just avoids this topic.

HIs continuous avoidance on this topic though, has a different impact on you. You had thought before that Baekhyun and you are fine now. You don’t have to feel so awkward, so out of place because of a failed confession in high school. But the pangs in your heart proved otherwise.

“Great! I’ll book the tickets tonight.”

You two soon went back to the latest tv show like nothing happened. After eating, Baekhyun helped you clean up and took out the trash for you.

“Goodnight, Y/N. I am going back to my apartment now.” You nodded before he closed the door behind him, soon a dull thud was heard, signaling that Baekhyun had entered his own apartment. It was Baekhyun who asked you to move, ever since he found out you were going to stay for grad school. He was already employed, with a 9 to 5 job every day and owned an apartment for himself. You didn’t know why you chose to stay in the same city for grad school, you also didn’t know what pushed you to agree to his offer.

Was it simply because of your friendship? That explanation is what gets you to sleep every night, but you knew deep down that there’s more to that. The lingering feelings you had-no, have, about Baekhyun were probably the ones to blame. There’s no use, Y/N. Stop thinking about him. There won’t be anything between you and him. He doesn’t like you that way.

You told yourself once more, to the hundred, million times that you repeated the same sentence. To convince yourself, but honestly more to lie to yourself.

Baekhyun’s family was nice and friendly as always. His mother was waiting by the door and immediately hugged you tightly. His father was standing a little behind her, waving and smiling to you. You are extremely happy to be back in your hometown, so you didn’t think much about the slight overenthusiasm of both parents. Beokbeom’s girlfriend is amazing, you liked her from the start. Even more when you found out, she studies business too. Everything was going fine, like the old times you used to be in the Byun household. You were enjoying good homemade food in probably a 100 years when Baekhyun’s mom threw a bomb onto the table, literally.

“So, since Beom’s relationship is going so well. Baekhyun, how’s you and Y/N?”

Wait, what-

“Oh, it’s great mom. Y/N, as you know, is amazing. I love her. We’ve been going on dates a lot more recently,” he addressed everyone in the room, purposefully avoided you.

“It’s so much easier when you live in the same apartment building.” Baekhyun winked at his brother. Mrs. Byun smiled, “Oh good. I knew one day you two would be together.”

“I can see it in their eyes.” Baekbeom’s girlfriend chimed in.

You are glad that you weren’t eating or drinking when he said all those words. At least, you controlled yourself from shooting daggers to him with your eyes and only clutched the sides of your chair tight.

You thought about kicking him under the table but didn’t want to take the chance of hitting someone else. He refused to meet your eyes, even though you knew he’s aware of the intensity of your attention. You held it in until dinner’s over and everyone’s had a couple of drinks. Well, except you. But you still pretended to be a little affected and smiled to Mrs. Byun apologizingly, “Sorry, can I go out for some fresh air?”

You stood in the Byuns’ backyard, replaying the conversation over and over again. That is until the door creaked and you look up to see Baekhyun walking closer.

“What was that, Baekhyun? I thought I am here as a friend?”

Baekhyun’s steady gaze faltered slightly, maybe due to the accusatory and demanding tone of your voice. He shoved one hand in his pocket and ran his hand through his hair.

“Sorry I lied. It’s just…Baekbeom is settling down with a girlfriend, and I’ve been away for so long. It’s been a long time since my mom wanted me to bring someone home. You’re…just-”

You cut him off in the middle.

“You should have told me about it! It’s not a request I will refuse anyway, why would you lie? I am your best friend, Baek.” “I know, and that’s why it’s so hard for me to say-” You didn’t wait for him to finish this time either.

“Is it, Baekhyun? I don’t think it was so hard for you to say ‘I love her’ so easily, like you actually mean it!” You can feel your insides churning up as you just brought the argument to a new level.

Something behind his eyes changed, Baekhyun took one step closer. You can’t read him so accurately now, because of the darkness around you and the bangs covered his forehead.

“I didn’t think it’s that big of a deal, Y/N.” He spoke the words slowly like he’s cautious with his words.

He doesn’t know what’s going on in your head now. The “I love her” triggered all your suppressed feelings and frustrations about him, adding up until they overflowed.

“Right, just like how you turned me down, it’s always not a big deal to you, huh?” Something wet rolled down your cheek, you quickly lift a hand to wipe it away. But more seemed to flow out, and there was nothing you could do to stop the tears from streaming down.

“You…you have no idea how I actually feel, do you?” You stifled a bitter laugh and looked up to the dark sky littered with the moon and little stars. “The pain I go through every day, the anger, the helplessness of falling in love with my best friend. I begged for you to ignore me, hate me, whatever. I just don’t want you to love me back and still be around when I know that there’s no-fucking-way that you can ever return the same kind of affection.” You broke down completely and buried your face in your hands.

You muttered, “It hurts…It hurts more than you know, Bael. More than you would guess and imagine.”

It was silence that embraced you after your sudden outburst, but then you felt his warm body against yours, his cold fingers removing your hand from your face, his gentle voice a little above a whisper.

“Don’t cry.”

You didn’t resist when he lifted your chin up gently and wiped your tears away with his slightly cold, delicate fingers. His hand then settled on one side of your face when you found his eyes filled with adoration, regret, care, love. There was no trace of pity in his eyes.

“I guess I wasn’t being clear enough before. I wasn’t lying when I said I loved you. As your best friend, and more than a friend. You have always been right next to me, and it wasn’t until there was a distance between us that I came to my senses. No one makes me feel like you do. No one makes me motivated enough to get up every day like you do. No one cheers me up and makes me feel like my life is absolutely wonderful like you do. Then I realized, there really is no way I don’t feel the same.”

It took you tremendous strength not to fall apart right there and then. He said all those words without any trace of hesitation, without doubt, and without deception. You were definitely in your wildest dream. The feeling slowly sank in when Baekhyun leaned closer and cupped your cheeks. You tried not to melt right away, but the sincerity behind his intense gaze didn’t help at all.

“I am sorry it took me a long time, but I’m glad I came back to you.”

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annapanman · 4 years

Note

1-50 for the ask game >:)

oof Cat you’re making me WORK lmaoooo

1. black pen

2. tough but city... i love air conditioning and diversity in restaurants too much

3. i’d learn a new instrument or language

4. sugar in both but it depends on the type of tea

5. lord i read so many books as a kid, i can’t pick one!

6. showers but i do love a good bath with a bath bomb

7. mermaid!!! i’ve been obsessed since birth

8. paper books

9. jackets and outer layers like cardigans and flannels

10. honestly i’ve struggled with liking my full name my whole life but i’m trying to love it more so i’d probably keep it

11. my old high school band director maybe??

12. I’d like to be famous for something science-related maybe... not my writing lol I’m too scared of other people’s opinions

13. I can be a restless sleeper depending where I am

14. Oh yes I am Hella Romantic i eat that shit up

15. I guess earth bc of my zodiac sign?

16. My boyfriend... and you bc you live so far away :(( physically and emotionally lol

17. EVERYONE bc of this pandemic but especially my bf, you, and my two friends who just moved away for grad school

18. hmmmm i used to be a really good rollerblader as a kid with my brother and my cousin, and we’d skate in endless circles in our garage and sing songs to pass the time lol

19. Blood pudding i think? Tried it in Ireland and it just wasn’t for me

20. I can see some trees and the house next door outside my window

21. I’m thankful for my friends being such Pure people and not getting tired of me snapping about my various health issues

22. Spicy food is the BEST. except I can’t do the spicy chicken from Bonchon my limit is drawn there lmaooo

23. @bauhaus-bitch and I met Hozier last year!! Loved that and love him, he’s such a kind soul

24. I have a bulletjournal... i think that counts

25. Pencil for note-taking and school stuff, pen for the bulljo

26. Taurus

27. love the Cronch

28. i’m not sure! maybe I could do some impactful marine mammal or coral reef work, that would be nice to leave behind

29. I love reading but I’ve grown so picky with my books... don’t laugh, the last book i read was Midnight Sun bc i had to make fun of Edward and Stephanie’s writing style

30. Usually i try to remember their coffee/tea order, or their favorite baked good to bring to them... food is my love language lol

31. Ice is the best. I don’t trust people who prefer hot coffee over iced

32. I’m afraid of being in the deep ocean (ironic), unstable heights, and rejection of any kind

33. Changes a lot but rn my favorite scent is roses! Can’t be too strong tho otherwise it’s nasty

34. it depends on the person... if i know them well it’s their first name

35. I’d get a cute Scandinavian style house on the East coast somewhere, get a bearded dragon or dog and work as an aquarist or zoologist! Either that or run away to Alaska with someone and get a house with a mountain and ocean view lol

36. Pools, since it depends on the ocean/beach (I have never set foot at Myrtle Beach and I’m very proud of that)

37. ask around if someone dropped it, but then pocket it if it doesn’t belong to anyone (you won’t catch me going to the police)

38. I did see one once... i was in middle school and i did make a wish but i can’t remember what it was

39. i don’t want children, so im not sure what i’d want to teach them... probably to accept and celebrate everyone’s differences

40. I’m thinking a sea creature of some kind either on my inner bicep or my thigh... we’ll see I really want one but i can’t commit to a design yet

41. I can hear BTS blasting from my laptop and the AC running in my room

42. I feel the safest at any location my friends are at, and my bed.

43. I want to overcome my pandemic anxiety and depression bc holy hell this sucks

44. ... do BTS eras count? I don’t want to go far back in time bc of the racism so I’ll choose the HYYH era

45. im on my laptop rn so i can’t type the emoji but the crying laughing emoji

46. autumn (bc im a basic bitch) but mostly for college basketball, the seasonal foods and drinks, and the wardrobe. oh and the cold rainy days with the leaves falling are the BEST

47. I’d go to a coffee shop with @bauhaus-bitch for writing and bullet-journaling in the morning, do a museum or aquarium with any friend in the afternoon and somehow be able to do cocktails, dinner, and cuddling with my boyfriend in Wilmington. Ideal but not realistic lol

48. Insistent

49. I can’t think of a big one but right now i regret not going to the Carolina Hurricanes’ pride night game with @saltysvga right before covid shut down the country

50. .... i don’t have the braincells to invent a new word i’m sorry

#asks #chiminnies #about me

0 notes

medamoiselle-blog · 6 years

Text

2017 in Review

I read mdA’s year in review and wanted to use her template to reflect on my year, too.

1 - What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

Hung out with a group of friends and slept over without worrying about all the studying I’d have to do that weekend, went to a classmate’s/friend’s wedding, signed up to take Step 1 (omgomgomg), went through a messy break up, traveled to Europe by myself, rode on a train for the first time! (which actually took 6 hours instead of 4 because something was wrong with the train and they had to fix it halfway through the journey), killed a spider, read Lolita, went on a vacation for Spring Break, completed a project and wrote a research manuscript from start to finish, went to the Weeknd’s concert! 2 - Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I dont remember if I made any resolutions last year...I usually don’t. But, for this year, I am going to continue doing what I have learned to do these past few months:

1) focus on myself more (my health, my fitness, my happiness)

2) get rid of toxic people and distractions in my life

3) study for and do well on boards

4) No more social media until after boards

3 - Did anyone close to you give birth?

No.

4 - Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5 - What countries did you visit?

Some European countries, Mexico, Japan.

6 - What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

Better, more supportive friends. I used to hang out with a group of gunners (they literally wouldnt share resources because they ‘dont want other people to do well on boards’ and didnt understand why that was upsetting to me). I distanced myself and I’ve been happier. 7 - What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 14th, went on a spontaneous quick trip to Japan mid semester and learned most of renal phys on the 15hr plane rides to and from Tokyo. Stayed at the Disney resort and had a magical time.

8 - What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Taking care of my mental health, getting to know myself better, submitting my manuscript for publication. This year was full of ups and downs and many firsts, so I’ve learned a lot and have gained experiences that I value very much. That’s an accomplishment to me.

9 - What was your biggest failure?

I stopped running a few months ago, but I plan on getting back into it before this semester starts! 10 - Did you suffer illness or injury?

Thankfully, nothing serious. 11 - What was the best thing you bought?

I bought myself a ring and I absolutely love it! I love the way it looks on my finger and like wearing it.

As for practical things, I bough an iPad Pro and now that’s all I use to take notes, study, etc. I don’t use paper anymore and it’s really nice to have all my material in one place. 12 - Whose behavior merited celebration?

All of the women and men who shared their stories using #MeToo. My parents for putting up with me and taking care of me when I visit, physically and mentally tired. The one student in our class who shared his struggles with suicide and depression in an effort to help others. 13 - Whose behavior made you appalled or depressed?

a lot of politicians...people trying to take away net neutrality, Trump and his tweets, the ex who told me [after we’d talked about doing residencies in the same hospital and how many children we wanted, etc.] that he wouldnt be introducing me to his parents or be able to marry me because I wasn't Egyptian and his mom wouldnt approve [Boy, bye], the mom who tried to exploit money using a bullying video.

14 - Where did most of your money go?

BOARDS. Who knew it was so expensive to schedule board exams...*le sigh* Also, a lot of money spent on resources...*le cry*

15 - What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I woke up to the first snow of the season and I could not contain myself! 16 - What song(s) will always remind you of 2017?

The Weeknd-Staryboy 17 - Compared to this time last year, are you: I. Happier or sadder?

A little bit of both...sadder and more stressed in some ways, but happier and more content in other ways. Overall, I’m in a good place.

II. Thinner or fatter?

Thinner.

III. Richer or poorer?

Poorer.

18 - What do you wish you’d done more of?

More dancing.

19 - What do you wish you’d done less of?

Social media. 20 - How will you be spending/spent christmas?

Hung out, made and ate xmas dinner, and enjoyed great company <3

21 - Did you fall in love in 2017?

No, i thought I did at some point tho. 22 - How many one-night stands?

23 - What was your favorite tv program?

The Blacklist.

24 - Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Yeah. 25 - What was the best book you read?

Both Nejma and Salt by Nayyirah Waheed were great reads. 26 - What was your greatest musical discovery?

Dua Lipa. 27 - What did you want and get?

A ring, cute Timberland boots, an iPad Pro w an apple pen, an A in neuro (neuro is our most difficult system, it’s a 6 credit hr course with a lab, and I was scared to take it. But, i ended up really liking it!) 28 - What was your favorite film of this year?

I haven't been to the movies in years. I prefer Netflix/Amazon prime and watching from the comfort of my bed/couch.

29 - What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Turned 23. I studied for an exam, but got to celebrate with my family 2 weeks later. Lots of good food and cake! 30 - What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If I had the wisdom I have today at the beginning of this year (2017) haha

If people were kinder to each other.

31 - How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

scrubs 90% of the time. business casual or professional 5% of the time. Leggings, sweaters, sundresses, boots/heels, long dresses, etc. 5% of the time. 32 - What kept you sane?

family, Netflix shows, shopping, traveling. 33 - Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Pietro Boselli *heart eyes*

34 - What political/social issue stirred you the most?

Healthcare equality, DACA/immigration issues, net neutrality

^ Im going to keep MdA’s answer because yes!! 35 - Who did you miss?

My maternal grandmother who's been dead for 6-7 years now, but I still think of her some times. Also, my best friend who’s moved to another state for grad school. 36 - Who was the best new person you met?

I became closer to someone in my class this past year and I love hanging out with her. She is always so cheerful and optimistic. I love that about her.

37 - Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:

Trust your intuition and don’t settle.

#year in review #2017 #need to reflect #heres to 2018

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zandyin · 7 years

Photo

Ace’s Mostly MegaTen Room Tour

It’s hard to put into words how I feel about MegaTen, so… here’s my room instead.

Feel free to ask me where I got something! A ton of pictures under the readmore + optional ramblings about my set-ups.

A while ago, I moved into this room cause it’s slightly bigger than the old room I was occupying. It doesn’t have the nice minty blue my old room has, but my decorations are more than colorful enough to make up for it!

Because I planned on moving into this room for ages (it used to be my dad’s band room) I master planned the placement of all my furniture and all the wall décor I had at the time. :B

I love DSRK the most! So it got to decorate the area around the head of my bed!!

Then for the foot of my bed – obviously I had to pay tribute to my personeys, as p3 is kind of my reason for being. It’s a long story, but let’s just say p3 came into my life at a very good time and I have built my current happiness from there. I got this huge B1 size wallscroll with all the characters! The blue is very calming.

Of course, I had to add a bit more SPARKLE to it. So I put in a string of blue LEDs behind the frame. The effect is much nicer when it’s dark.

At the side of my bed is my weird shelf/desk, which I bought specifically cause it was a shelf/desk. I never put up the desk part, lol. It’s just my night stand now. My Surface Pro is right there… with like 8 doodles open in CSP that I’ll never post. :B

Remotes, controllers, a DS that has an 80% finished play through of Strange Journey, 3 tubes of chapstick cause I always misplace them… what more could I ask for? Oh yeah, some Jack Frosts are there too cause you can never have too many Jack Frosts.

Unfinished garage kit of nendoroid Raidou smh. I will start and finish it one day. After my grad degree. I have Raidou’s manga despite not being able to read it, and also the dsrk2 fan book? I used google translate to look at it a bit and laughed at how it calls Louis beautiful/handsome.

Upper half! Some mish mash, another untouched garage kit of Raidou, a Dahn standee that got the top of his hair chopped off when the printer decided to offset the picture, IGNIS, and the Baron! My old prints are behind on the wall along with some free stickers I got way back when from an artist who saw me in my Raidou cosplay, lol. The paper luck locust box is gonna be replaced EVENTUALLY with a really cool 3d printed version my friend modeled!!

A view from my bed. So colorful. Don’t laugh at my shiny drawer paper plastered over the backside of my shelves. >:v Notice P5 doesn’t have a frame yet. It will once I decide I feel like spending money on getting it one. It’s my least favorte personey game, tbqh. I’m actually indifferent to it, but I did buy the CE for collecting’s sake. :p

Another view from my bed. My closet! Funny story about the “DEVIL SUMMONER” over my door – my brother and I went to Home Depot to get some stuff and I wanted some cheap letters to spell it out. My brother goes, “Imagine when we get to the register and the cashier scans them to spell out DEVIL SUMMONER, lol” I shuffled them up to avoid that, but did a shit job so it read, “DEVSIL UMMONER” :x

It’s hard to see but on the coat rack there I have a Raidou-esque cape and hat hung on the third rack. It’s so fun to wear out. ‘ p ‘ I can’t wait til it’s cold enough to wear again!

That curtain rod wouldn’t normally be there, but I discovered it’s a nice way to have some privacy while keeping my door open. I hung up my own prints smh, tho that was kinda the point of ordering them, haha. Katsuya there, ah, he’s like a “good vibes” board where I post good things that have happened with the date on them. I haven’t added to him in a looong time, mostly because I stopped needing to? Everyday’s a good day now. It is nice to look back sometimes if I’m feeling down. I even used cupcake sticky notes since it was Katsuya. I just remembered I even photoshopped him to be smiling, lol.

Also – the fact he’s on the back of my door means as long as I keep my door open then ppl can’t ask me why I have a bigger than life size Katsuya on the back of my door.

An idea I carried forward from my old room. Clear files have art on them and need to be displayed!! The top ones are a paint to keep from peeling off the wall. I’m using an ineffective method that needs changing – I’m just tooooo laaazyyy to get the big ladder upstairs to fix it.

My Yasogami High letterman is on display forever since IT’S NEVER COLD ENOUGH TO WEAR IT IN THIS GODFORSAKEN STATE, at least not yet. I have a lot of jackets to choose from. Maybe I should do a jacket tour.

The thing that divides my room between sleep & play + my little “office”. Raidou, my best boy, is displayed here! I got a light up moon to put behind him. I am a SUCKER for things that light up. You can see Demifiend and Lucifer behind him, then of course Satan there acting as an impromptu jewelry holder. So spiny.

Jack Frost photobombs Satan.

Back to the other things in my room… here’s a poster of Demifiend I absolutely love and a Strange Journey poster I recently acquired! Fun fact, I had a chance to obtain a SIGNED Kaneko SJ poster but hadn’t played it at the time so I didn’t bid. No one bid and it went off the market. This was before the SJ remake was announced too so demand/popularity was nil. Ah, well, at least I got a nice original SJ poster. I wholly prefer it over the remake’s poster. >_> It’s very soothing to walk by… the pictures don’t do it justice!

I plan on buying a blacklight to hang above Demifiend’s poster later. Later.

On the ottoman below the SJ poster is my school backpack (with a small P3/P4 tarot card keychain) and then my general bag I take everywhere. A slightly professionally looking cat bag that I take to work. The “Don’t quit your daydream” pillow was an indirect purchase cause my mom wanted to buy a cushion to put between some huge pots we bought from a home goods store and I got to choose the pillow.

My keychain board! Plus some memories. Look at that good Raidou/Dahn my friend drew me. ‘ p ‘ I love it! There’s also an old xmas/bday card my long time friend sent me a few years ago. I’m sentimental.

Oh yeah, I moved the smt4 wallscroll that used to be in the SJ frame to here. I haven’t played smt4 yet and no idea when, but bought the wallscroll cause it was hella cheap. Maybe there was a reason for that, lol.

Other side of my desk. Catch a glimpse of my Sky High butt mousepad. Hunting that one down was fun.

I bought that blue double frame to put P3 art cards in, smh. Nick Valentine watches over me while I work. He was a gift from my long time friend and was delivered on Valentine’s day!!

Then these next few pictures are just close ups of the collections I have on my tall shelves.

My reason for being… there’s not much else I want for it. I don’t collect EVERYTHING, I collect until it feels “complete”!

Ah, yes, T&B! The otp for life. Those 1/6 scales were not cheap, man. I seriously got my first job at the bux just to start collecting P3 and T&B merch, y’know.

More T&B. I’ve been meaning to get Rock Bison and Blue Rose for a long time, it’s just not so pressing that I’m going to do it any time SOON however. Of course I had money to drop for my best boy Ryan, tho. :B The background thingys are displays I swiped from the bux before they were tossed out.

For someone who’s least favorite Persona game is 5, they have a shelf anyway cause dammit it looks nice. Mostly flash and little substance, as I tend to say when the subject gets brought up. I put Morgana in a shopping cart I picked up at a Daiso for no good reason.

AND THAT’S IT……………… That’s my room. This was an accumulation over 4 years of collecting. I’ve slowed down CONSIDERABLY and don’t buy as much these days simply cause they don’t make what I want. Which is good for my wallet lmao.

I hope you enjoyed whatever this was! And maybe understand how much I enjoy MegaTens, even if I don’t really draw it much.

#zandyin is talking

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multiple-nerdery · 7 years

Note

All asks

1. Are looks important in a relationship? Done

2. Are relationships ever worth it? If I thought the answer was no, I wouldn’t be in one so...

3. Are you a virgin? Not since almost a year ago

4. Are you in a relationship? Yes and she’s perfect

5. Are you in love? See above

6. Are you single this year? I am not

7. Can you commit to one person? Can have and am

8. Describe your crush done

9. Describe your perfect mate Its my gf of course she’s perfect

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah. You have to know someone to love them.

11. Do you ever want to get married? I could see it happening. I wouldnt mind if it didn’t. Its way too early inn my life to think about shit like that

12. Do you forgive betrayal? Done

13. Do you get jealous easily? Done

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? Guys I think I might hhave a crush on my gf

15. Do you have any piercings? I want some

16. Do you have any tattoos? I want some

17. Do you like kissing in public? Not if other people are doing it, but so much yes if i’m doing it

20. Do you shower every day? Who tf doesn’t

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? Guys I think my gf might have a crush on me

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? My gf is asleep so mayybe she’s dreaming about me. (also my bff thinks about me she’s gay andcool)

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? I’ve done it before

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Doubt it. I won’t even be finished with grad school

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? I want to be in the one I’m in

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Ye

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? done

28. Have you ever been cheated on? not that I know of. Since I trust and care about my exes, I will believe they didn’t unless evidence happens

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? done. but it bears repeating. no. I could never

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? Nah. It’s too expensive

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? Yep

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Ye boi

33. Have you ever had sex with a man? No

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? well all of them are nbs. so... i guess also no?

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? yep

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? yeah friendships are how crushes start for me. not my current best friend though

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? More like one asshole friend who tried to slander the relationship, seduce me out of it, and then when it ended for other reasons, almost immediately accused me of trying to sabotage thier relationship for just being friendly

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? I never expected to like anyone.

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? All the damn time

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? Ye. I recorded a cover once too. I might do that again but would have to choose the song.

41. Have you had sex so far this year? This is the year in which I have had the most sex.

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? As long as the person I’m kissing wants

43. How long was your longest relationship? 2 years, 3 months, 29 days but it was on again off again a little bit

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 4, but #3 is the same person as #4

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? none

46. How many times did you have sex last year? In 2016? No more than like 7

47. How old are you? 18, 19 in 8 days

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? I would cry

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? can I say everything she is so cute and perfect oh my god and her sense of humor is great i could just lay around all day watching youtube with her

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? far as I know, he has nothing to apologize for. I’d be impressed he made it from (Iowa?) to NYC tho. And i love presents i always accept them

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yep. She my gf

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? Ahngst person. I’m through putting up with their bullshit about abandoning people who care about them. They hurt multiple of my friends, irreparably. They avoided us when we happened to run into them in the coffee shop they work at but then turned around and started low-key stalking my bff. they don’t deserve any affection from me. I don’t hate them, but they can’t be part of my life healthily anymore. Maybe as friends, much further down the road, but they havve to put in the work for that because hell if I’m reaching out to them.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Last time I dated her there was.

54. Is there someone you will never forget? most people

55. Share a relationship story. with the person I’m currently dating, before we were dating, wee were both up late at night talking, and she told me to go look at the stars which were pretty, and she was pretty high and so we went to go get food because she was also hungry and we got chicken nuggets and a pie, and then we laid in a field together and watched the stars

56. State 8 facts about your body I’ve got hands, those hands can type, I’ve got some hair, I have a nose, I have functioning (but not well) eyes, im tall, I’m p skinny because teenage metabolism and I like destroying my body recreationally.

57. Things you want to say to an ex #1: how is things in iowa ya nerd. #2: sorry for putting you through some shit, but I’m glad you value what you got out of it. #3: I love you more than anything thanks for asking me back out.

58. What are five ways to win your heart? gotta be cute, then be really nice to me, then hold me in your arms, thentalk with me for hours on end and finally share memes with me

59. What do you look like? Haha nope

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 1 year 2 months 4 days

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? whether they are a human or a lizard

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? real talk, I’d kind of like someone (who i love and care about) to get on top of me, tie my hands up above my head, slap me a little and call me names. maybe have me wear a collar too. while i struggle to try and touch her. (OR, you know, a loving and caring relationship, the sexiest thing of all)

63. What is your definition of “having sex”? most sexual contact counts

64. What is your definition of cheating? having a romantic or sexual interaction with someone who is not your partner, that your partner either doesn’t know about or doesn’t condone. flirtinng can count

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? passionate, rolling around the bed/floor makeouts, neck biting, hickey receiving (and to a lesser extent, giving). teasing. lots of teasing.

66. What is your favourite roleplay? Never done any of those. I don’t think that’s really my thing. (My least favorite is daddy/daughter play)

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? spending any time with my GF whatsoever

68. What is your sexual orientation? asexual, but i’m really sex positive. like. sex is nice but i’m not attracted to anyone

69. What turns you off? trypophobia images. bumpinig heads into places they shouldn’t go. condom breaking. parents coming home thats a big one.

70. What turns you on? being bitten, being pushed down, being challenged in a sexual context, driving esp at night, the idea of doing things in someone elses bed (as long as its clean and they don’t find out), holding hands

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? I haven’t had a wet dream in a long time, and the last time i did, it was about fucking a chair so.... eh

72. What words do you like to hear during sex? any variant of “oh that feels so good oh my god mmm yes right there don’t stop fuck me harder” and various pleasure moans

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? love and cherish me forever.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? does she have a face i could stare at all day and not get bored of it?

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? romantically, making out in the backseat of a moving car. platonically, driving the car so me and the other person could make out in the backseat even though we were supposed to go home. There’s more i’m sure but I can’t think of them

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? dunno.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? some age differences are okay. some are not. For instance, I’m gonna be 19 next sunday (not tomorrow) and my GF is 17, 18 in october. That’s an okay age gap. 16-20 is not. It has to do more with experience than age, though, since a 16 year old is a child in high school, and a 20 year old is a grown adult in college

78. What’s your dirtiest secret? who I lost my virginity to

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? my gf commented positively on the photo of one of her past crushes. recently. I was worry but I trust her and I know she loves me

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? last night

81. Who are five people you find attractive? my gf, my girlfriend, my significant other, my partner and the girl that I love (they’re all the same person)

82. Who is the last person you hugged? shit its been a while i don’t even know

83. Who was your first kiss with? my first bf

84. Why did your last relationship fail? she wasn’t in the right place to be dating at the time. but she is now, and I love her more than anything

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? iunno

#Anonymous

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