#i cant even comprehend this shit anymore

[snonkerdoodlefizzy221b]

call me crazy but is Google trippin' ☠️

#like #last i heard there was a word called “frontman/lead singer/vocalist” #and that word is a role in a band #and listen listen #crazy take #but doesnt axl FIL THAT ROLE IN GNR WHAT THE FUCK #guns n roses #google #is a fucken idiot #i cant even comprehend this shit anymore #help #gnr #im sorry to all you diehards who had to see this but like it needs to be said #i can't even

[ghostcrows]

i swear i thought the first episodes aired in a totally different order. cause i kinda think the first like three are maybe not the best way to introduce it?? lol. like first one ok you get to know who bubblegum is kind of..second one we're just fucking around in lumpy space like lsp is not that prominent of a character. ok well *emails my petty complaints to the show producers 10 years ago*

#i got serialized man i cant even comprehend anymore of Just Doing Some Shit In A Cartoon #i swear third episode was the first episode i swear... #anyway finn sweater huge fan #adventure time posting

[baekuras]

Tomorrow I need to do an eye checkup in english (instead of german aka the norm) and I just checked if there are any better ways to explains things or tell people what to do etc instead of my basically direct translations and turns out

nope

it sounds exactly as stupid as i already worded it, no special words or better formed sentences around 10/10 school english is good enough (nice)

#txts #i am not excited #bc its always difficult to do specialized shit in another language #AND the person i am examining doesnt even know english and has a translator #so I speak english and the translator translates it over #which CAN be fine #but for finer reactions it can screw things over a bit so i hope thats not the case (: #also my coworker who can also do these in english got salty and decided to not do them anymore bc its not in his job description #which like-great i guess we can all just decide not to do things #like....an eye exam which IS in our job description with no languages specified (: #but then he is also the first to cry about ppl not going above and beyond #truly amazing thinking there #its not even like its truly hard its just annoying to do if the person you examin doesnt fucking understand you #goes for native german speakers as well #some ppl just dont have braincells #'please look at the number 9 in the 3 line' #//begins to read the entire thing from the top again #look-stupidity is not a sin and neither is misunderstanding stuff even if sometimes idek how you could #but also.....pls just actually listen and comprehend the words i am using #also dont suddenly throw out a 3rd or 4th option on a 2 question answer #or dont fucking interrupt me during a question either (: #'alright so do you prefer 1 or-' 'URGH NO THATS SO BAD NO NEVER' 'OR 2' 'NOOOOOO THATS BAD!!!!! I CANT SEE!!!' #yes m'am we are fuCKING WORKING ON IT #RELAX PLEASE DEAR FUCKNG GOD WE ARE LIKE 30SECONDS IN #this suddenly turned into a tags-rant oops #but yeah #pet peeve is ppl fucking interrupting me (: or not listening at all ever (:

[clanoffelidae]

Explaining to a friend how a h*rry p*tter fanfic I started coming up with in 2015 rapidly got out of hand and nowadays has long-since evolved into an OG story that has literally nothing in common with its fanfic origins and went from magic animals to ‘alien dragon species that crashed on Earth 10,000 years ago and their history has been lost so everyone assumes they’re from Earth’ along with a few well-meaning extradimensional cosmic horrors that kind of wound up being metaphors for neurodivergency and how if you follow the trail of where certain characters started in the ancient fanfic and then developed into who they are now you get to say some of the wildest sentences possible

#honestly i made it og and gave up on it being a fic before She even outed herself as a TERF #so i didnt even detach it from fic bc of that one over there #i gave up on it being a fic bc it literally just got That Out Of Hand #like that was not fanfiction anymore not in the slightest #and after detaching it from fic i rewrote the setting so much to make it OG that you can only even see the connections to what it was #when i first detached it from fic if you fucking squint and say its close enough for government work #like this is in no way shape or form at all connected to its origins anymore #but if i explain it all out you can follow a trail of how the fic characters slowly changed and developed and became og characters #and so i get to say shit like that now bc the train of thought took 37 left turns and then tokyo drifted across some salt flats #their names are The King of Beasts and The All-Eyed One and they’re extradimensional cosmic horrors called The Untouched #bc they are Untouched By Time #who experience all their experiences at once and have no ending - like circles compared to lines #and so cant comprehend how many of their actions cause us such distress and everyone assumes they MUST know because its OBVIOUS what theyre #doing wrong so then they MUST be doing it on purpose #meanwhile The Untouched - but mostly King like 99% King - are trying so hard to get it right and make friends #but they keep messing up and everyone’s shouting at them and saying they’re doing it on purpose #but they don’t even know what they’ve done WRONG because no one will tell them and they’re just expected to know #poor King is just Baby it is trying its best (Untouched use it/its bc trying to ask them ‘what pronoun do you use for yourself’ #just gets you a very confused ‘I????’ like ‘is there another one????’) #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #writing humor #writing funny #fanfiction funny

[cirillafionaelenriannon]

and when griddlehark eye contact across a crowded room electricity between their gazes Brushing past eachothers shoulders nonchalance about their desperation for eachother. when griddlehark Mouth trembling in eachothers presence faces scrunched up arguing anger sadness?? when Griddlehark clawing at eachother emotionally/ when griddlehark kiss confession? DESPERATION? wht fucking then 

#text #valkyrie.txt #me trying to envision what it will be like when they reunite and i am trying to decide on whether i want an immediate #reaction that employs touching . Like whether harrow after all shes been through to get gideon back #would touch her. i dont know if she would. i think thered be a hovering around eachother #physically like constant lingering. and thered be a lot of quiet and staring #and devouring with their minds and shit. I cant even comprehend what physical touch would look like for them anymore

[moriihana]

eughhh my current health situation fucking SUCKS

#aside from the fevers and fatigue my fucking. cognitive function has decayed significantly #i can barely comprehend information i read anymore #like ill read it. but then i have to read it again and again and sometimes even then i dont get it #i used to be able to think and function and now im just. #i cant anymore #i can't think and i can't remember and i get confused easily #and after five months of this shit ive started to break down and cry because im scared im dying #i know im NOT dying but like #feeling like you're dying for five months with no end in sight #really wears you down #vent #personal

[chaosology]

benched

— Sam Kerr x reader

based off this request, i hope you like it :) masterlist, gimme feedback!!!

warnings: pregnancy? slight injury to reader

“She’s getting so big now,” Sam sighed, “What is it now, an avocado?”

Her fingers traced the swell of your stomach, lightly tapping the beat of whatever song was stuck in her head. You and Sam had gotten incredibly lucky, your first round of IVF being successful and resulting in one of the most beautiful celebrations of your life.

“Sami, they said it’s probably a girl, we can be sure!! What if he’s just sneaky?”

Sam just laughed, rolling over to pull herself out of bed. This game would determine if you made it into the quarter finals of the World Cup, and your entire team had been training rigorously for it. The pregnancy had remained under wraps until just after the first trimester, when Alanna had caught you puking in a bush for the third time that week.

The pregnancy had been a hot topic of discussion among you and the team officials. They weren’t allowed to decide when you would stop playing and take leave, but you and Sam had talked privately to decide that you’d rest when the World Cup ended. The rough nature of the game put you at a level of risk you and Sam weren’t willing to take; and if you were being honest, the break was well deserved. You’d given your all for so long and wanted nothing more than to lay in bed all day, watching Sam play and browsing whatever shit reality shows were currently trending.

The little bump just barely peaked through your jersey, a small reminder of your love always with you. Admittedly, the influx of hormones had knocked your emotions around a bit - much to Sam’s enjoyment. You cried at commercials and got snappy with her over small things like the smell of her coffee, and it was probably the most adorable thing she’d ever witnessed.

The stadium was alive with the thrill of the match. The girls battled fiercely, determination evident in every pass, every tackle, and every movement on the field. Your movements were quick and calculated, darting in between the opposition to pass the ball over to Hayley.

In an instant you were on the floor, too shocked to even comprehend what had happened. The medics were on you in an instant, Sam having let them know before the tournament that you were pregnant and took priority. The pain wasn’t unbearable, radiating down your back to your legs. The other girl that tumbled was checking on you, apologising over and over. It was a genuine mistake, and you didn’t hold any ill will towards her. Half time had just been called, and so the rest of the team had come make sure you were doing alright.

Sam was also by your side, triple checking you were ok. She was stressing beyond belief, not just for you but your baby.

“You need to come off, love.”

“Huh? No, I’m fine. I’m- We’re fine.”

“No, you’re done,” Sam’s voice was firm, laced with concern. “I know we talked about it, but we cant keep taking these risks. The way you went down… It could’ve been bad.”

You were starting to get annoyed now. Hormones were making you more fired up than normal, and you got defensive quick.

“No. No, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m not made of glass-”

"No arguments," Sam's interruption was unwavering, her eyes locking onto yours with determined resolve. She knew you were annoyed, but she wasn’t willing to risk it anymore. She could also pull the Captain card if she wanted.

Your eyes were glazed over with a quick building fury. You were both too strong willed for your own good and it was quickly becoming tense.

“I’m your captain, Y/N. You’re done. I won't let anything happen to you or our baby."

You had only pushed her hand away and walked off, angry tears falling down your cheek as you sat down with a huff. Sam’s palm ran down her face as she sighed. She knew in her heart it was the right decision, but she couldn’t help the sinking feeling in her chest when she saw you cry.

You had spent the rest of the game in a mood, your head resting in your hands as you glared at Sam. You knew it was irrational, you knew she cared - but right now, it was just an overwhelming flood of emotions. The win and cheers that erupted as the penalty kick went through fell on deaf ears as you shrunk in on yourself, now nauseated too. Perhaps the baby was angry too. Fair enough.

Sam’s eyes met yours as she jogged over, leaving the celebration in the centre of the pitch. Still moody, you looked down at the ground and kicked your feet, twirling your wedding ring as you did so.

“I know you’re mad. I’m sorry.” her hushed voice let out. You offered only a scoff in response, becoming more and more engrossed in the ring by the second.

“Hey, look at me”, she reached out, her hand grabbing your chin. “Look at me, Y/N.”

You let her move you like a doll, your chin tilted up as she hovered over you. If you weren’t still trying to be mad, you’d definitely tell her it was hot - time and place, unfortunately.

“I’m sorry I was strict. I’m your captain and your wife, I’m just looking out for you and our girl… I got scared, I’m sorry if it wasn’t what you wanted. But you’re my responsibility on this field, and I’ll make any move possible to stop you from getting hurt.”

You were embarrassed now. All she did was care while you were stubborn and proud.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffled “I was so awful, I didn’t mean it. I know you’re doing what’s best”

“Hey, hey,” her fingers lightly tracing your jawline as your face “don’t say that about yourself. You’re making a person, Y/N. Our baby. Your body’s doing all these crazy things, it’s ok to let it get to you sometimes.”

Your eyes welled up again as she brought you in for a kiss. The stress left your body as you relaxed into her.

She stepped back, pulling you up to meet here eye. “Come celebrate with us, you got us here too.”

You giggled, letting her pull you back to the pitch with a skip in your step. The girls were hugging and crying, yelling all sorts of things at the top of their lungs. You and Sam made your way into the middle of the group, hand in hand with smiles as large as life.

“Don’t think I didn’t hear you call baby a girl, Sam. You owe me fifty if it’s a boy!”

#sam kerr x reader #sam kerr imagines #sam kerr oneshot #sam kerr fanfic #sam kerr fanfiction #woso x reader #woso fanfiction #woso fanfics #matildas x reader #matilda’s fanfiction #requested

[glitchfiles]

I cant get dumbification!jeno out of my head!!!!

soooo sorry you sent this ages ago and i just didn’t see it 😭 this may not be in your head anymore but now it’s in mine!!

jeno can’t deny that he has a thing for dumb sluts. no matter how smart you act or claim to be, he barely has to do anything to melt your brain down into a mush of muddled thoughts.

someone as pretty as you shouldn’t have to burden themself with something as trivial as thinking. and, jeno is more than happy to kindly alleviate you of such a taxing chore.

“that’s it, let go. you look so cute when you shut that dumb little brain off for me.” he’d coo into your ear. feigning softness to tease and rile you up, while his rough hands groped at your increasingly pliant body, goading you into completely letting go.

“want me to take care of you?” when your slurred pleas for him to do something quickly turned into jumbled whines he knew he had you where he wanted you. “can’t even tell me what you want properly, can’t take care of yourself. brainless fucking slut, what would you do without me?”

he’d love watching the hazy, blissed-out expression on your face as he sinks his girth deep into you. his filthy dialogue would continue as he ploughed into you; while your brain couldn't process his words, your cunt certainly could, squeezing tighter around him.

“shit- sluts like you don’t need to think, all you’re good for is taking my cock.” he’d relish in how pliable your body is for him, perfect for being used and stuffed to the brim. it’s too easy to manhandle you into positions that get him deeper than you could even comprehend. “my personal fuckdoll, gonna fucking ruin you.”

all you can do is mewl out at the overwhelming pleasure. not a thought in that pretty head, otherwise you probably would have had some shame to wipe away the tears staining your cheeks or the drool streaming out of the corner of your mouth.

#📂 ..\ask #jeno smut #jeno hard hours #📂 ..\ .◜◡◝

[chunnies]

was listenin’ to ‘Scotty doesn’t know’ and got an idea

Pairing: Hobie x AFAB! Reader

Warnings: Smut, cheating . Unprotected sex(pls use a condom)

The sound of skin slapping together and the smell of sex in the air. Your phone started to ring.

“Oh, hey, baby.” You said, trying your best to hold in your moans, but Hobie wasn’t stopping. He just kept thrusting in and out. Watching as his cock disappeared in and out of your went cunt.

“Yeah, i’ve got to. Uhm. I’ve got to go baby.” you said over the phone before hanging up.

“Fuck, Your so fuckin’ wet for me” His slurred voice said while sending in a few final thrusts before he coated your walls white.

All you could do was moan in response. You soon got dressed and hopped out of his van and going home. Waiting until tomorrow for your next meet.

You never thought you would cheat on your boyfriend. He trusted you and you trusted him. Then Hobie showed up. He was beautiful. He send butterflies through your whole body just by looking in your direction. It wasn’t love. You had a boyfriend. He loved you and you loved him. So why were you aching for Hobies touch?

“Oye, peng teng?” His voiced echoed through your mind

“Oh, my bad. Do you need something?”

“No, but you keep starin’ at me, so i thought you needed somethin’.”

How embarrassing. He caught you staring at him, now he was asking you why. You can just tell him that you were aching for him to touch you, you wanted him to trail his lips from yours all the way down to your core. You needed his touch. You needed him.

“No, sorry. Zoned out i guess!”

“You zone out like tha’ everyday? Might wanna get that checked out.”

Shit.

“Yeah, sorry..”

“Stop ‘pologizing , is alright. Swee’heart” He winked at you before walking out of the classroom. He winked. At you. You. That just send you over the edge. You needed him. And before you knew what you were doing you put on your backpack and chased him down the hall. Grabbing into his arm when you finally caught up.

“Wait,” You said breathless. “I do need something.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

You didn’t think this far ahead. You looked around and didn’t see anyone. So, you grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him. And that’s how you got to your current situation.

Currently you were riding him. Your hands on his chest as you bounced up and down. Letting out moans everytime his length was fully in you.

“It’s so cool when you’re on top.”

“W..Wha?” You slurred out. You couldn’t comprehend anything going on except that you were reaching your edge.

He laughed. He laughed at how pathetic you looked. Sweaty and moaning for him. When your boyfriend was right outside. Who’s idea was it to fuck in-front of his house? Doesn’t matter. He came . Yet again. At this point you were gonna get pregnant. Well, if you came off the pill at-least. You knew he liked to raw dog it, so, you started taking the pill.

Your life was pretty good. Except for the fact you were in a relationship you didn’t care for. You just didn’t know how to break up with him. You only wanted hobie. Only needed him. He was everything to you. Anyways, Hobie told him. Hobie told your fucking boyfriend that you and him were fuckin every other day. And that you both loved it. Later that day when Hobie walked past you in the hall with an even bigger smirk than usual you knew he had done something wrong. So, you texted your boyfriend and told him to meet you at your house after school. So, when he made it there you just had to end things.

“I just can’t do this anymore, being stuck in a relationship i don’t want to be in sucks.”

“You soon this so you can keep fucking that punk Hobie?”

“What?”

“He fuckin told me. I just. I cant look at you right now..” He said before leaving. You just stood there. Shocked and happy? Why were you happy?

Taglist: @localbeidousimp @wisteriaflowersss @melda0me

#Spotify #hobie x reader #hobie brown #atsv hobie #hobie my beloved #hobie brown x reader #smut

[sheriffgrimes-archerdixon]

Harmful words

Warnings: arguments, shouting, cruel words

Request: hi!! I was wondering whether you could do one when Daryl snaps at the reader whom is like a daughter to him and she sees him as a father figure and they get into an argument that causes issues and he says things he regrets please? Thank you. (A/n this’ll be written during the prison era)

Someone better take my phone away from me the amount of sad twd drafts I’ve got saved is becoming concerning 😭��

“I’m sorry okay,”

Your words were weak and tired as Daryl stood in front of you, crossbow hung just over his shoulder “sorry isn’t going to cut it y/n. You could’ve been killed-“ “well I wasn’t.” Your words were harsh as you glared into his eyes “please stop treating me like a goddamn kid! I’m sick of it… you hear me? Sick of it! All of it!”

He looked at you a hurt expression lingering in his eyes “what the fuck y/n?”

“Stop treating me like your god damn daughter! I’m not your kid! I’m just someone you rely on since you can’t do shit yourself!” You yelled, you didn’t mean it. They were just words. Angry words that you couldn’t even comprehend as you failed to notice the growing anger and sadness forming on his face “you’re right.” He spoke disgust visible on his face as he began shaking his head “you aren’t my daughter,” he continued shaking his head “and I sure as hell ain’t your dad.”

His words caused your breath to hitch as you stared off into space your eyes full of sadness before you looked down, Daryl didn’t mean to be so harsh- regret immediately forming on his face. You didn’t think he would go that far, you were just angry and it upset you that he would even say something like that. You had gone on a run, a risky run at that but it wasn’t your fault you wanted to get things for the group but you knew Daryl was protective over you so it was most definitely a stupid decision. You knew it would cause an argument but didn’t the groups lives matter more than yours?

“I- I didn’t mean to say that y/n…” he spoke and your eyes flicked to him a saddened expression on your face “I’m not Merle, I’m more than capable of saving myself and not getting killed. Okay? Get off my back for once yeah? I just want to support the group! Don’t you get that? It isn’t just us anymore!” You raised your voice as Daryl’s breathing became heavier his eyes narrowing as a slight worry and sadness consumed his face but he didn’t say anything he just stayed quiet “we’ve got to support Rick! Beth! Carl! And Judith, she cannot live without baby formula! What do you expect me to do? Just sit around here on my ass all day when I can go and get supplies for everyone!” Your voice was raw with emotion anger in your eyes. You knew Daryl meant no harm, he was only protective over you but sometimes it felt overbearing- overwhelming- as if you were walking on eggshells whenever you went out. It was as if he didn’t believe you could protect yourself.

“I know damn well we need to go get supplies but that don’t mean you should go out there risking your life! We go in groups! Not as individuals!” He shouted, raising his voice his hands moving about a lot as he talked a lot of his emotions through his hands. “And I know you ain’t Merle but that isn’t the point! You’re the last part of me that I’ve got! I cant lose you as well if I lose you then what the hell is the point of living anymore, huh?” His words cut into your heart harshly and you closed your mouth, falling silent as you shook your head “haven’t got an answer because you know damn well if you weren’t here I’d be dead!” And that’s when you snapped walking up to him getting in his face “don’t patronise me. Don’t you dare. Don’t put your life in my hands…. Just don’t.”

Daryl wanted to say so much more his eyes full of pain but before he even could Glenn quickly moved in between the both of you “c’mon just stop this. There’s kids here. Stop shouting…” he said desperate as he held his hands out to you and Daryl as if trying to keep you both away from each other. “What’s happened?” Glenn spoke trying to sort everything out and you looked at Daryl who was now pacing back and forth “y/n goin’ on that supply run alone… could’ve gotten killed. Stupid decision.” He spat out and Glenn listened as you scoffed rolling your eyes. You loved Daryl a lot, he protected you when you couldn’t protect yourself but you didn’t want him not believing in the fact you could protect yourself.

Glenn went to say something but a different voice spoke up “I have to agree with Daryl on this one.” You looked at Rick as you frowned but he held his hand up to you telling you silently to remain quiet instead of inputting your opinion “if Carl had gone out there-“ “Carl is a kid. I am an adult.” You cut Rick off, an unimpressed look forming on the older man’s face “if Carl had gone out there I would’ve had the same reaction as Daryl. What you did was charitable, good work- yes, but risky as hell… what happened if you got bit, hm?” You remained silent as you stared down at the ground. Hearing it from another person made you realise that maybe you were being slightly too harsh. You sighed quietly as you ran a hand over your face,

“We don’t need another fight breaking out so please solve this quickly.” Rick spoke calmly but it was as if he was ordering the both of you to make up and as he and glenn left the room Daryl continued pacing back and forth whilst you stayed still. “I’m sorr-“ he started but you cut him off “no. I’m sorry. I should’ve been more careful. I was being an ass” you said softly as the archer smiled slightly at you his eyes growing softer as he walked closer to you wrapping an arm around you as he pulled you into his side as you hugged him tightly “forgive and forget?” He asked and you nodded your head “forgive and forget.”

~~~

You sat on the table in the prison eating some chocolate pudding from a small can, everyone else was eating some food and Daryl was holding Judith in his arms holding a bottle of milk to her lips as she drank, everyone else ate as much as they wanted to your attention soon turning towards Beth as she nudged you nodding towards Carl.

You looked towards the kid noticing how he was eyeing up the can of pudding in your hand, he had fruit but didn’t seem to be too interested in it. “Eat up,” Rick spoke quietly to Carl but you quickly stepped in “trade?” You questioned sliding the can of pudding over to the boy who’s face and demeanour immediately lit up as he began eating the pudding, you reached over getting the fruit as you began eating the canned fruit Rick nodding slightly at you in a silent way to say thank you and all you did was smile. They were family. You’d do anything for them.

As night drew closer, the sun going back into hiding you made your way to your cell climbing up onto your top bunk as you exhaled. You shared a room with Daryl- he slept on the bottom bunk and you slept on the top. As you laid down you felt a sudden vibration against the bottom of the bunk making you jump in fright a chuckle falling from Daryl’s lips as he stared up at the mattress “sorry,” he said and you let out a little laugh “it’s fine… you know you preach on about people not sneaking up on you yet you sneak up on us all the time.” You laughed out and a small smile remained on his lips “oh shut up,” he spoke playfully and you rolled onto your side as he continued talking to you, the sound of him talking easing you into a tired mindset as you began relaxing “you warm enough?” He suddenly asked and you hummed in affirmation “enough pillows? You can have mine if you want.” He offered. He did this every night and you always said no. “I’m fine, really.” You spoke and he sighed gently “alright..” he laid back down onto the hard bunk resting his arms under his head “sleep well…” he knew once you hadn’t responded that you were flat out and he smiled slightly,

“I love you sunshine.”

#twd #daryl dixon #x reader #daryl x sister reader #Daryl x daughter reader #comfort #the prison twd #prison #rick grimes #glenn rhee #mention of characters #twd imagines #judith grimes #xreader #yn x daryl dixon #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon twd #rick grimes twd

[spacexseven]

omg so glad u agree ive been thinking about dazai going from a heartless sadist to a full tilt delusional yandere all the time its a big part of the driver behind the subordinate au hehe. like,,,, I just really like the idea of dazai being SO terribly mean to his darling and then suddenly the tables are turned on him and hes soooo desperate for their love and attention and to let him hold them and kiss them...

speaking of the subordinate au, I think that dazai would be a bit of a unique case cuz now hes suddenly feeling? guilty? for being mean to You? someone who is so utterly beneath him that it makes him laugh? (or, MADE him laugh, rather) whats he supposed to do with THAT? he doesn't really have a frame of reference for what he's feeling either so hes just confused about why watching you get your teeth knocked out is making him feel so shitty all of the sudden. why he feels so Weird when you get injured on missions he sent you on. why he doesn't want to make you use your ability anymore cuz he knows it hurts you. and ESPECIALLY why he feels so empty when you don't return his little displays of affection, he never cared about your rejection before- all the kisses and squeezes were just to humiliate you anyway, shouldn't he Want you to resist it? why does he want you to smile at him as badly as he does? weird.

and once he finally figures out its cuz he actually LIKES you, he kinda has to. trick himself into thinking that you secretly feel similarly, cuz the idea of you being afraid of him kinda makes him wanna throw up so that cant be the case. sure, he was mean to you for a while but you're past that now, right? best friends! lovers, even! probably does crazy shit like handcuff you to him so its like simulating holding hands or trick you into setting of ur ability (that you cant turn off yourself) so he gets to cuddle you in order to feed into his fantasy.

I also really think that fyodor and chuuya (especially subordinate au chuuya) would act like this to some degree hehe but what do u think?

- 🩹

bsd x dazai's subordinate reader stuff is tagged subordinate reader 🐟

cw: yandere characters, violence, abuse (dazai is abusive towards darling in this au, until he accepts that he likes them), non consensual kissing, manipulation, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, jealousy, controlling behavior, unhealthy dynamics, forced relationships, deceit

i don't think chuuya could delude himself to that level. in this au i'd like to think of him more of a good cop, playing nice to you and being there for you when dazai treats you like Shit for no reason. since he's always kind towards you there's no need to force you to see him in that light either, he just needs to charm you more. fyodor hmm for him it's more like he cannot imagine you not being in love with him despite never having talked to you. like he thinks you would be able to feel what a wonderful and powerful creature he is so you would have no reason to deny him of what he wants. if you did reject him, he'd easily turn sinister and force you to be with him :(

honestly i feel that once dazai begins feeling off about you and the moment that even the possibility of liking you hits him, he'll just ramp up the frequency of terrible treatment, but less intense. he hangs around you more and is always picking at every action you do, but at least the kicking has become less frequent, right? he can't comprehend and doesn't want to accept the fact that he may like anyone, let along the useless person he's in charge of. if he destroys the seeds of love now, he thought he could prevent it from getting worse.

he was wrong, of course.

not everything was that bad, though. lurking around you all the time meant he could keep an eye on who you talked to. was that chuuya stroking your cheek? dazai could easily pop up from behind a corner and stroll towards the two of you, pulling you away with a quick movement before kissing you in front of chuuya. sure, you obviously wouldn't be into it, but this wasn't about your feelings. he wanted to show you who was in charge (and he liked the kisses) and while just a week before he would have done something far more terrifying, this was effective enough now.

it wasn't like he was hurt when you ignored him or glared at his back. definitely not sulking when you slipped out of his hugs and scurried away to find something to do. he didn't care at all...

...who was he kidding? your previously hilarious indifference was now intolerable. he was desperate to see any semblence of affection in your gaze but couldn't even find a sliver of positive emotion. he couldn't believe it. why wouldn't you like him back? he can't handle the overlooming possibility of rejection, so much so that he deluded himself into thinking that you surely had to love him too.

you were trying to hide it but he could see it in the way your eyes lingered on his figure for a few seconds too long, the way you shuffled out of the room when he came in. it was cute, how shy you were. he was flattered by your interest.

as far as he's concerned, you like him and he likes you. there's nothing more to it that he needs to worry about. so if you were too shy to approach him first, he'd have to work something out.

#yandere bsd #yandere x reader #yandere bungo stray dogs #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #yandere bsd x reader #yandere bungou stray dogs x reader #yandere dazai x reader #yandere dazai #yandere dazai x reader #yandere dazai osamu #yandere chuuya x reader #yandere chuuya #yandere chuuya nakahara #yandere fyodor x reader #yandere fyodor #anon 🐟 #ask 🐟 #bsd 🐟 #dazai 🩹 🐟 #subordinate reader 🐟

[thereissomethingunderthestairs]

I hate how direct the pipeline of “i like animals and am interested in nature conservancy” to “animals are better than humans which are a plague to the earth and should have never existed”

its very sad that those people dont see humans as a part of nature anymore when we are… when early humans made buildings out of rocks and stuff that’s natural but when modern humans do it its a plague. i get it because 1% of humanity is currently fucking the environment but that doesnt mean humans should have never existed and it also doesnt mean that it cant be fixed. humans large brains have caused problems but because we can look at ourselves objectively we can fix them as well.

im also not saying that the earth will be fine regardless of what we do since that is not the case. the permian mass extinction had co2 and global warming similar to now that killed 90% of living things but the cynodonts waddling around didnt really cause it or have wrinkled spaghetti brains to comprehend it so they couldnt have done anything. but humans can so even though we caused many species to die out we can still fix shit. that pessimistic attitude helps no one not pandas not dolphins not any of those charismatic megafauna you love and champion for

(also those are the same people who advocated for extinction of animals they dont like.. like mosquitos. theyre incredibly deadly disease vectors but wanting extinction for a species is concerning)

#Someone was talking to me about how much they wish humans never existed because we fucked up the earth #and i really didnt want to say anything since i cant articulate well & i know id be misunderstood #This is always a risk when joining an animal lovers club or something… unfortunately

[splittergirlll]

the thing with growing up is that nothing actually "gets better" in the way people think when they hear "it gets better." when i heard "it gets better" as a middle schooler id scoff because i didnt fully understand what they meant. in a certain way i was right for scoffing, because they lied to me by omission. when people say "it gets better" they just mean it in the context of being treated like a kid vs an adult. your kid problems will go away. so those get better. you wont have those anymore. however, you cant even comprehend the adult problems yet as a kid.

the problems caused by being in the social class of "child" "go away," but everything else just gets worse in new ways you never even considered before. because you were a kid with kid problems.

the problems you had as a child will become smaller or go away, and youll gain new shrimp problems that are caused by those problems being dominoes that fall over into way more complicated and everlasting problems that overshadow the kid ones tenfold.

so, yes, the things you experience as a kid will get better, only because they fade and are replaced with new ones you dont even understand yet. youll wish you could go back to having your kid problems instead, because at least then it was acceptable for you to ask to be held and told everything was gonna be okay regardless of whether you ever took the opportunity to ask anyone for comfort or not, and regardless of whether anyone directly near you would give it. once youre considered an adult you dont even get the opportunity to ask, much less an answer if you ask for help.

once youre considered an adult every problem you were forced to drag with you from your childhood stops being your parents' fault and becomes your fault in the eyes of everyone around you because you no longer have the privilege of being seen as the victim of those problems. you become the creator of them, because youre an adult. you dont have the privilege of innocence and nobodys gonna protect you from yourself because thats not their job and they dont give a shit.

when people say "it gets better" they really mean "the problems you have now will go away and not hurt as bad, because everything else will get so much worse."

#myp0sts

[kursedmayo]

Suddenly remembered that scene in this fanfic I cant remember the name of anymore where the rise bros broke into a zoo (I think) and Leo met his biological, non-mutated turtle Mom and immiedietly felt a connection to her and somehow recognized her as someone that should be family despite them not being able to understand each other he still tried talking to her so she would know he was safe and doing alright and he was happy and she made some noises that he wished was a sign she understood what he was trying to say even if she wasnt half human and cant comprehend his words and he then had to leave her behind since he and the bros had to leave for some reason and.

IM SO.

THIS MADE ME FEEL SOMETHING I CANT PUT INTO WORDS. WHAT.

I could just be misremembering and it might not have even been Leo but Donnie but STILL. SHIT. WHAT A UNIQUE EXPERIENCE BRO. HOW CAN I BE NORMAL FOR TODAY AFTER REMEMBERING THAT. HUH. HOW CAN I.

#text #kursed rambles #rottmnt #rottmnt leo #IM SO... DHKABSJAJANA #GOD I NEED TO LAY DOWN AND PROCESS THIS... #PLEASE TELL ME THIS FIC ACTUALLY EXISTS AND IM NOT JUST DELUDING #PLEASE

[mummer]

went down the rabbit hole of my own ao3 today and decided to reflect upon my works ye mighty and despair as an exercise in self understanding:

it chapter two time travel fic - this one has problems in that i was nineteen and a shut-in at the time and didnt know how real life worked and wasnt funny. but it also has some very good things such as the theme is good. good bev stuff. i was so MAD at this movie lolllz... overly sappy and sentimental.. gets real weird and fantastical for no good reason but i dont mind that. STOP SWEARING SO MUCH.. not "well" written but not poorly written either + has its moments 7.4/10

the fool - unfortunately i will never in my life be able to top this due to it being a product of an early pandemic induced fugue state and i just have to accept that. it fucks so severely hard i't's difficult to comprehend. fully formed like athena. deserves 10 million billion hits. sometimes ill have bad self esteem and then i'll chance back upon this and be like Nvm im a genius...... there are like two bits that could use some revision but honestly thats it. "me being stupid is a foundational literary lens" - i remember saying this at some point. 9.5/10 i was so real for all of this

noli me tangere - i dont like this anymore. it really suffers from following the timeline so closely and retelling a bunch of boring administrative shit and has too many threads. the writing is not very good either frankly apart from the beginning. bland. too long. i had a lot of Ideas but.... 6.1/10

the body is a blade - honestly the thing about this one is that it should be 800x more fucked up and evil about everything. i should have let it be scary and fraught and less overtly romantic. i think i struggle with that in fic tbh i always come at it with too much of a wish fulfillment lens stfu bitch i want them to drink each others blood and throw up everywhere. writing is mostly good though and the structure works even tho there is no plot. 7.8/10

random ass stranger things fic from last year i dont want to talk about - i was having a bad 6 months when i wrote this but you cant tell because it does hold up mostly. i mean it's completely bonkers and has major plot conveniences but it's trying to emulate stranger things so you must allow it. i think the duffers could learn a lot from me personally (insane). dusty my best friend dusty. one thing about me is thtat there's gonna be a damn road trip. the writing? IS GOOD. i love BANTER. will also never get recognition due to rarepair problems.. im used to that. i like that i was basically like And fuck found family too btw. theres nuance in this and hard complicated feelings! neat! why was i doing all that for this? i didnt have to. REAAALLLLY didnt have to. 8/10

#cant believe my last contribution to gay nights watch cinematic universe was MAY 2021 YOURE joking. #we'll remedy that...

[qualityrain]

sorry that twitter post abt g3nshin having 0 queer rep having like 70k likes is making me sooo fucking pissed girllll you can not say we r delusional how do you ignore the 847483748 posts from chinese people talking abt the queer symbolism and shit you canNOT tell me to my face that ning and jeht are not lesbians. you do not need to know symbolism its just straight up fucking text. ning literally surrounds herself with only women she has a different voiceline for aethers birthday to give LUMINE a gift not aether how fucking blatant must she be 😭😭 jeht straight up just sleeps with lumine in the quest girl,,,,,,,,,,,you cannot say that we r delusional and that its explicit in honky why cant g3nshin be the same way r u hearing yourself thats way back in 2017 😭😭😭 and azure waters manga girl they r not doing anything close to that anymore,,,theres even things like the kiss scene from honky being removed like girl girl,,,sorry queer people cant come out explicitly and kiss people all the time!!!girl!!!!!!!!!!!! most of us asians cant come out and i live in fucking southeast asia!! my parents cant even comprehend that im aroace!!! what more if i say i like women!!!!!!!! g3nshin has a lot of other problems queer rep is not one of them!! FUCK OFF

#IM BITING YOU IM BITING YOU IM BITING YOU #WE R NOT DELUSIONAL ITS PLAN FUCKING TEXT BROOOOOOO #THERES NOT A SINGLE HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION FOR HAITHAM AND KAVEH. #HOW DO TOU EXPLAIN NINGS SECRETARY BEING GAY AS FUCK FOR HER #FUCK OFF FOR REAL