#i could eat them up all day long

[cpyclopse]

I think this is one of the prettiest things ive ever drawn!

Weiss Schnee is my favorite character(behind Penny of course<333) can you believe in all these years ive never drawn her??

[My art]

#rwby objectively isnt a very good show i know that but the entire sound track is of absolute bangers and i like it for the nostalgia #weiss has the most character development in the show and i relate a lot to her<3 #icy aristocratic kinda mean characters finding a family and a home then becoming better people is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE character types !!! #i could eat them up all day long #shes so silly #i wish i could watch vol 9 but you have to pay crunchy roll!!! ill wait for a totally legal yt video ;) #weiss schnee #rwby weiss #rwby #rwby vol 5 #i love the vol 5 outfits #mosss art #the blade of her rapier is pretty wide but i really dont want to redraw it *again* then fix the line art under it and all the lighting&colo #cpys art

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

#jrwi fanart #cw blood #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob: #BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay #i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY. #THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL #so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM.. #grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that #ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT #arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES #I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM. #I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no #ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE #BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much... #GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that #we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW #he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE.. #i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar #I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS #also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that #human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY #i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK #feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

the eternal question: is scheduling w friends as an adult That Hard or am I just bad at it

#4 different people have left me on read today; 1 cancelled our plans 4 hours before we were due to meet #I've been sitting home alone for 2 days going insane. looking forward to One (1) coffee date & that fell through #idk why I'm taking it so hard this time I'm usually fine!! but I find myself wishing I didn't have the day off I wish I did have work :( #like it's tiring yeah but it beats sitting here not knowing what to do w myself #& I'm working all weekend & only leaving the house to see the doctor. oh joy #I've been productive ironing writing fixing the car. that's not the problem #I had 4 social plans this month. that's it #that's like seeing each friend once a month!! I can't keep this up!! #is this the norm for adulthood? :( #& on one level I don't want to bother people or be clingy #but on another level I'm baffled that they don't get lonely too #the news has not shut up abt the Loneliness Epidemic since 2021 #but if it's true why do so many people take so long to reply when I reach out? if they reply at all #I'm not going anywhere w this. idk #just one of those days #everything so fuck everybody suck :( #boomers got it right w the whole showing up unannounced at people's houses for a social call with a pound cake #now I have to go through 5 layers of bureaucratic bullshit to see a friend #assuming they don't cancel the day of ofc (((((: #I just wanna be like hello knock knock I am here. tell me abt yr life today & listen to mine & eat this cake #& the worst is when people are like 'I'm cancelling bc I'm tired xx' #OK A) u knew we had these plans for two weeks #but B) I'm tired too! I still love u ur still my friend! let us be tired together! #'I won't be social today I'm tired' my love we could watch movies in silence we could knit we could ball yr socks. idc #'I have to do the big shop today sorry' so do I!!! let us do the groceries together!!! #every time I've pushed someone to come out when they felt depressed or to let me accompany them when they were doing chores #they were like u know what I'm so glad u did this. thank u. this is way better than how I had planned this night to go #& I'm like any time!! I love u!! #& then it just happens all over again next time oh sorry I'm cancelling I'm busy I'm tired #like did u forget what a nice time we had last time? what changed? :(

[elliebartlets]

so much shit is going on with all sides of my family and I’m feeling very overwhelmed

#my grandfather is probably going to die within the year #and I walked in on my mom crying the other day about it #which made me sad and made it more real #cause it feels like it was a long time coming but also feels like it happened too fast #my great aunt has really bad problems with her hip and can’t get it replaced because she’s so old and had a stroke #so there’s a risk of putting her under anesthesia #and not only is she in so much pain and can barely move to eat or go to the bathroom #but she lives alone and her daughters who live near her won’t visit her!!! #she has a granddaughter who visits her the most but she’s also busy with work and her kid and stuff #I truly don’t know all the details but they’ve always been weird like the one daughter always accused her husband (her stepdad) of #“playing favorites” with the other daughter. and it’s like? get over yourself #I’d understand if my great aunt was a horrible mother or something but she doesn’t seem to be #plus she raised her granddaughter (one of her daughters kids) so the least that daughter could do is fucking visit her #idk I just feel so bad for her and hope she’s ok #plus there’s stuff going on with my brother which I’m not getting into on here #it’s just like all of this was slowly building up and it all crashed down at once #oh and my uncles mom died (not my grandmother or blood related to me at all) and my aunt will not go to the funeral cause my one uncles #sister is a total c u next Tuesday #like I met my uncles 2 sisters once 20+ years ago when I was in my aunts wedding #so I don’t remember them but everything I hear about them reminds me of the sopranos family #stereotypical new jersey Italian family that hates each other #like down to the siblings too. one sister who is insane and starts fights (Janice) and the other who is more “normal” who I don’t #hear about as much (baraba) #then you have my uncle who is very hot and cold like Tony soprano. plus possibly involved in the mafia or mob or something #I’m not overwhelmed by my uncles family/mom dying btw #it’s just some family drama that’s adding fuel to the fire of stuff happening #ANYWAY #breakdown/vent over! back to my assignments! #personal

[godsfavoritescientist]

you’ll always be my favorite ghost - Big God, by Florence + The Machine

[Image description: Lineless digital painting of Ford kneeling in front of the stone statue of Bill, hugging it and crying. He is in the woods, surrounded by birch trees, with beams yellow light streaming down from the treetops. The grass around Ford is shaded to be reminiscent of the shape of the portal.]

#original art #billford #god I havent drawn in ages let alone lineless art #i dont know how to draw tears or anatomy at All #I looked up 'man hugging dog' to find a good hugging-while-kneeling reference image. #sometimes you gotta say fuck it and draw the thing before the idea of it eats you alive #i'm writing a fic about ford confronting the statue. the feelings are just so Complicated #he is so angry and relieved and exhausted. #angry at everything bill did. angry that hes gone forever. angry at himself for spending any energy on thinking about bill #most of all angry at himself for missing bill. he doesnt even Miss Bill #he just misses the version of bill that he thought he knew pre-betrayal. but that doesnt make the complicated feelings any less real #i imagine he would avoid the statue for a long long time and then one day accidentally walk past it #and feel a ton of repressed feelings bubbling to the surface #and he would want to kick the statue or run away or yell at it but all of those feel so silly to do to a statue. basically a gravestone #so he ends up hugging it and feeling like an idiot for hugging it but he just has to sob for a little while #sometimes you gotta cling to the tombstone of your horrible toxic ex and sob about how much you miss them #and sob about how bitter and angry and lost and Tired you feel. there will Never be any Resolution. he's just. Gone Forever #i can picture him laughing through the sobs and muttering 'we'll meet again huh. as if.' #'i never want to see you again you asshole. and having the chance to meet again would be too good to be true.' #he's just So Heartbroken about it all. and he wishes he could get some kind of closure or something. but there IS none. #even if bill came back what would he say? nothing new. He would keep feeling no remorse about any of it. he would keep being horrible. #ford is kinda mourning the final tiny little irrational ray of hope in him that got crushed when bill died. #the irrational hope that maybe bill Could end up regretting what he did and become better and then he could have his best friend back. #the irrational hope that the betrayal was all just a bad dream and any second now he will wake up and bill will be benevolent and good #none of these feelings are things that ford can admit to himself. not even all these decades later. #but it Does Something To You to see your ex-closest-friend's tombstone!! #regardless of how deep and terrible the betrayal was. #ford so badly wishes he could stop having any kind of feelings about bill anymore. especially the lingering remains of fond feelings #but i dont know if those feelings even Can be completely gotten rid of. hes stuck with the knowledge that he feels upset about bills death. #and he hates it. he hates feeling upset about the death of an evil dream demon who tried to destroy his family and his dimension.

[lunar-fey]

:( i was so close to finally getting my sleep schedule fixed but for some reason my alarm didnt fucking go off so i slept a full 8 hours instead of taking a 3 hour nap. i was supposed to to to bed in like. 5 hours. not gonna happen now 😔

#this is genuinely upsetting ive been trying for a MONTH now to readjust things so im not sleeping #during the entirety of the day #bc i like have Important Shit To Do #but i simply cannot stay awake when the sun is out and i simply cannot sleep when it is dark. just end me #like genuinely about to cry. ive been needing to call the fucking office about my work program #bc they forgot to . im acruwllt too upset to words right now. but theh forgot to “something” and ive #been trying to call them for WEEKS #but no matter how many alarms i set my ass is UNCONSCIOUSS for all of their business hours. #im so fucking sick of it i was sleeping just fine at night just two months ago. #but i physically cannot stay awake for a full 16 hours #so i keep taking a nap when i mean to sleep - just sleeping like an hour and then being physically unable to sleep more #and then when i try to take a nap i just sleep for 6-8 hours no matter how many alarms i have set. #i THINK the problem is im able to turn off my alarm without waking up. #i have to solve a little puzzle to turn it off but that doesnt help :( #like it aint aeven entirelt about me bc i could sene thenoffice an email whenever. #but id prefer to do it during business hours cause i already sent one in the night and they never responded #but More Importantly #the animals keep not getting fed at all bc im asleep :(( #oh and Also my stomach is fucked #bc i wasnt expecting to sleep so long so i didnt eat beforehad..... now im so hingry i feel like im gonna hu #hurl*

[cannot-copia]

this year so far

#tw death #once again saying things into the void on here bc i dont know where else to say it #went on a trip for a couple days for my moms birthday a couple weeks ago now #they called to tell us my dads dialysis had pretty much stopped working shortly after we were got there #insurance gave us 4 days notice to find somewhere for him to go (2 of which we were 1200 miles from home) #also was told by the place I work at i am not needed until further notice the same day #so I have no source of income until they get the necessary machine fixed and even then I am skeptical they will say to come back #since dialysis stopped working he had to be moved to hospice #which was a week ago now #so he has very little time left #my half brother and his wife came to visit him a couple days ago #now his brother is here from another state #and we took them to eat at the place they’ve always gone when they are here for as long as I can remember #on the way there we were told my grandmother was taken to the hospital in an ambulance #they don’t know what is wrong with her yet but she is 94 so her being not ok either is very plausible #we are only like 3 weeks into the year and I’ve already been soft laid off my grandmother could be dying and my dad is dying #I feel like I have been seconds away from having a complete panic attack for a week #packing up and cleaning out the assisted living (he only ended up being at 3 months) felt so wrong #it was his coffee mug and green cup of all things that got to me most #he always had them #and knowing he would never use them again #I bought his dog a new name tag today #so it has a tag when we give it to them to put in the casket with him #and i almost cried in a fucking petsmart #and now I’m here over sharing on the internet about it bc if I do not keep myself distracted I will just get more nauseous and cry more #delete later

[seawitchkaraoke]

Okay but how do you actually food prep? Like. Ppl keep saying it’s great and you should do it but??? What, do y’all actually cook all the meals for the week ahead of time and then just stick them in the microwave? That sounds great but idk how long things actually last in the fridge, like what actually lasts a whole week??

#food #food prep #adhd #tagging this adhd bc this is a 'help i have adhd and i am bad at feeding myself' question #not a 'how do i make super fancy food' question #yeah idk how long things last i grew up with two brothers and we all got really tall #aka had huge growth spurts #aka were all constantly hungry #if leftovers survived more than two days that meant they were disgusting to our teenage palates #and mom probably made this food specifically so she could have some leftovers for once #i am much better at feeding myself whenever i visit my parents tbh #bc! they just have all kinds of food! there! and have a huge freezer! #they don't need to worry about things going bad bc it's a three person household and someone's gonna eat it #i rarely even buy cheese bc i don't hugely like cheese and worry about not eating it quickly enough #love potatoes but man eating them all before they get bad is a struggle in the summer #'store them cool and dry' lmao yeah sure i'll do that in this humid af place #anyway rant in the tags over #i just wanna eat good food! i am decent ish at cooking even! #but it's exhausting and doing the dishes is exhausting and making sure nothing goes bad is exhausting #man i wanna go visit my parents again #where we have a dishwasher #and enough adults that someone is gonna cook even if it's not me #and a big enough freezer to put a frozen pizza or two in for the days where no one wants to

[timeisacephalopod]

I've been seeing a ton of people revisit The Biggest Loser and being like WHAT the actual fuck is this garbage and like yeah. Every time I see or hear stuff about it it gets worse, it's like I blocked it from my memory because the show always made me uncomfortable perhaps because it was the embodiment of diet culture lived out in reality and I've never had any feeling but hatred towards diet culture. Shit gives people so many body issues for no reason, and The Biggest Loser reveled in leering at fat bodies like some kind of fucked up modern freak show. Gives me the heebs AND the jeebs.

#winters ramblings #jillian micheals is SUCH a peice of shit. she treats people DISGUSTINGLY and someone should have told her to fuck off #or at LEAST began screaming at amd treating her like a contestant so we could at least derive some kind of joy out of watching HER #get screamed at all day every day i always felt bad for the people busting their asses #they didnt even TRY to teach anyone good food habits or fitness either they just made them do absurd exercise #no NORMAL person does every day. putting someone on a HIGHLY restrictive diet and forcing them to exercise all day #is NOT healthy that is an EATING DISORDER straight up #PLUS the contestants often gained the weight back sometimes PLUS more and it was found that they had a HARDER time losing weight #because the fucked diet of the show fucked their metabolism to hell so its even MORE impossible to lose weight #at ALL let alone long term. so fucked up this was on tv like LITERALLY modern freak show shit

[1980ssunflower]

i miss my babies sm :-c

#while working on this drawing it just makes me miss them so so much #i wish i was home and min could make us some budae jjigae and i could happily eat the whole bowl knowing my min made it for me💙💙 #and of course itd be delicious 💙💙 #i just want that so badly to be home w them both already #and i could make them grilled cheese on a lazy day while we watch tv in our pajamas #little things like that #having min & ryan come up to me while i cook and wrap their arms around me kissing me all over 💖💙 #just for us to be sillay & in love 💖💙 #i need that so badly i miss and love them so so SO much... #my heart my body my mind my soul they all ACHE to be home w them both already #to be able to wake up in their arms and bathe together 💖💙 #to be able to admire them & their bodies as we get dressed to head out #help ryan pick out some jewelry that matches his outfit & fix a loose strand of mins hair hehe #idk i just long for my life w them #and to be able to finally start the rest of my life w them both :"-] #ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙 #tape entry circa 1980

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

started yellowjackets with my family awesomeee……. lez out and kill in the woods ladies!!!!!!!!!

#also i was like. how long would it take you guys to eat someone if you were stranded like that #because ive thought abt it a lot lately esp since i watched castaway bc i think id do it right away #like not KILL someone and eat them that would take longer. but if there was an accident and people died during it id probably eat them #right away bc like. theres a whole bunch of meat going to waste. itll only attract predators for later and stink up the place if u have to #take shelter there. plus like if theres a crash it would scare away anything small you could catch in the area for a day or two so that food #option is gone. and then you have to scavenge like what if theres nothing around or u cant tell whats okay to eat #its better to eat someone fast to keep your energy up for how much work youll need to do finding shelter and water and food to survive #beyond a few days #anyways. i didnt say all this before bc i wanted their true answers and my mom said not for a very long time/probably not and my dad said #probably not WHICH SURPRISED ME BAD BC I THOUGHT HE WOULD SAY YES #and i was like. well lol. heres my opinion 🫢 #idk if id actually be able to pull it off BUT. im just saying that would be the best option #better to cannibalize people already dead rather than kill someone youve gone through horrors to survive with as i always say!

[me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink]

hey alexa what’s the morality of pretending you picked up a spare shift at work and that’s why you ghosted your friend for a day because talking to them is draining and you were very tired last night and now it’s been over 18 hours and it’s a bit awkward to respond now

#silv's back on her bs #vent #sors but oh my god #i love my friends i love him but it's just so. #it is so draining talking to him when all he seems to talk about is how much happier he is (which is v good im happy for him) now that he's #friends w me and some other people and how we're so much better and we're his best friends and his other current friends are the worst and #his life USED to suck but now it's so much better but remember how much it sucked and yk fuck whatever we were talking about before when we #can talk about how bad the past was for him i just #i feel so bad for saying that bc i genuinely love him (/p) and want to be able to talk to him but i'm so drained from literally everything #else going on in my life that when i see his notifs pop up i just. can't be bothered to open them #he texts the gc last night like 'you guys have different friend groups that you eat w at lunch right?' (we have lunch together every other #day bc of club stuff) and when me and my other friend was like 'yeah what's up' he starts going on about how his current friends suck and #ignore him and i feel so bad for being annoyed at him for this but i just #need a second to BREATHE for gods sake #i do not blame him for feeling terrible and i know that I need to tell him how im feeling but i just. #i'm consistently never getting enough sleep and am piled under assignments that were due way too long ago and i'm drowning okay #and i feel like there's literally no one there as a lifeguard that i can count on and someone that i thought could at least be floating #above me (not needed to save me but at least There) is pushing me down further #i just #god #sorry that was a bit silly of me

[fabulouslygaybean]

do you ever listen to the minecraft soundtrack and your heart is instantly filled with such strong longing that it's physically painful

#just. mice on venus. so many childhood memories. #just... reminds me of my cousins. i miss them a lot. #reminds me of summer days spent biking with one of them around the tiny town they all live in #we'd stay out till the sun started to set and then we'd come home and play minecraft while we waited for dinner #later we'd make a huge nest of blankets and pillows and stuffed animals and we'd talk about pokemon and space until we passed out right - #- next to each other. the windows were always open and all we could hear were crickets and summer air and soft breathing #i haven't felt comfort like that in years and years and i miss it so much #just. the comfort and familiarity of being young and not having a care in the world. falling asleep next to someone you've known for - #- years knowing that you'll be safe and warm and happy and that you'll wake up to a family that loves you so so so much #fuck. im crying now. its 3am and i should be asleep but a minecraft song made me think so hard that i cried. #i want to fall asleep knowing that ill be safe and that things will be okay in the morning. that my family will be okay and that the - #- world will keep spinning and that things will be okay. #i know that was repetitive but im kind of breaking down so i dont care. i just want to feel safe. #i haven't felt truly safe in years. im in a constant state of fight or flight because that's how ive needed to live for so long. its the - #- reason im still alive today. but god its exhausting. its so exhausting and it hurts so much. #its so selfish bc i KNOW other people have it so much worse but. god. i just want safety and love and consistency. #i want to wake up knowing my family is happy and safe and go to school without people yelling at me or throwing food at me anf i want to - #- come home to a house that isn't empty and i want to eat an actual dinner with my family and i want to be hugged and wished goodnight - #- before i go to bed without feeling lonely or empty or filled with an exhaustion that sleep can't fix

[chickenisamazing]

Yeahhhh maybe I shouldn't be experimenting with drugs

#T #Technically. I mean. They were prescribed to me. #I wanted 2 give them a second chance but I can't tell if now was a good time to do that #On the one hand I think I'm more productive than I would have been? Maybe? #On the other I'm so stressed and nervous that I'm not sure I'm handling the not sleeping and not eating as well as I could #I keep only sleeping 3-4 hours a night and even when I go to bed I feel quite awake #Thankfully it doesn't take too too long to fall asleep but that's probably because. I am tired from being awake for 20 hours. #Also am I really more productive or just less sleepy so I think I'm more productive? #Today I didn't focus that well bc I screwed up big time this morning and have been super down all day bc of it #and wanted to distract myself #so I didn't even really try redirecting my focus #Anyway tomorrow is a new day maybe I'll forget about how I humiliated myself and burned the best professional bridges I had #(It's worse than you think I promise I'm not exaggerating)

[gender-euphowrya]

they should invent a my grandma who understands other people not being like her

#like. objectively i should go on walks. it would benefit me & my health #but in fucking practice I HATE IT. i don't like it. i don't enjoy it. it fucking sucks. i don't want to do it. #forcing myself to do it is fucking terrible. it makes my body hurt. it feels like a waste of time. #it requires an amount of prep work that i just Don't have the energy for on most days #and i just am 0% motivated to do it because I Do Not Like Walking. if it's walking to go somewhere then. fine. #walking just for the sake of walking ? with no destination ? pure fucking bullshit. boring. pointless. awful. #how am i supposed to be motivated for it when there's no end goal ? #if i go outside to idk get groceries then that's what keeps me going. i need to get groceries #if i'm outside and the only goal i have is one i set up myself which is just a nebulous ''go around the block a few times'' #which i am in no way obligated to do Or interested in doing and that i can just. decide Not to do without consequences #then i won't have the fucking drive to do it ! man i can just walk back into my home right now #SO ANYWAY grandma is like the exact opposite of that. bitch loves walking. walks Everywhere. can walk miles. will walk in any weather #and she just... doesn't get that we feel very different ways gkfjdjd #''oooh you should walk and walk everyday It's Good For Youuuu'' and she acts like i don't walk because I Don't Understand That It's Good #sis i'm not fucking stupid i know the health benefits & everything I DONT ENJOY IT THOUGH #same way i know the health benefits of eating veggies but i still Don't do that because i can't stand them !!!! #god fuck Whatever about my health lmao like. i'm here for a good time not a long one !!!! #do you think when i'm old and dying i'm gonna be like ''aaah i'm glad i spent so much time doing things i hated so i could live longer'' #nah mate i'm gonna think ''well this was a GOOD one i got to do all the stuff i loved yippee'' and croak

[exerlin]

my life would be so much better with a 2nd non-bathroom room and a bunny rabbit

#bnuny thoughts #i think im getting burnt out on splatoon and it's making me sad #idk what else to do i wish i could pursue my hobbies but without space or meds i can't muster the strength i need #also i tried looking for a job today and wow. you even need a food certification to be paid minimum wage?? #i just can't deal with this shit at all still #job hunting irl doesnt work and neither does online #too many barriers to entry for the simplest of things #i don't understand how anyone functions under these conditions #im not good enough at anything to be paid for it i guess #this system thinks i should die i guess #food is taking up all my extra money nowadays #and im still running out of food stamps #im eating 2 cups of ramen a day ($3 each) because i keep gagging on the $1 maruchan cups of ramen #i ordered a copious amount of noodles on amazon hoping to keep my food costs strictly on my EBT this month #trying to go out by myself as little as possible so that I can afford to be able to *insert literally anything that isn't play video games* #im so so deeply tired of video games i wish i could experience the wonders of life and reality but that costs money each time #video games cost money 1 time and can be played over and over again #sometimes they dont even cost money #but a drink that isn't prepackaged costs at least $5 #and food is even more than that #and no loitering because everything is actually private property #and also i feel extremely uncomfortable in public places like parks because strangers have always been hostile to me (in georgia) #and i have not had any experiences that conflict with that trend as i avoid public spaces (which is easy because you have to seek them out) #i want to be in one but i won't feel comfortable because i will feel like i don't belong #also i wouldnt know what to do #and anything like “daydreaming” or “relaxing” would probably result in my dazed ass accidentally staring at someone for too long #i just don't know how to deal with such an intense fear #at least not by myself