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idontplaytrack · 1 day

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Distress

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader

Warnings: hospital setting, descriptions of labour & delivery with complications, vomiting, blood & bodily fluid mentions

In which, Janis’ life ends up in your hands. So does your baby’s — and you had to make a decision that would be life altering either way

It’s crazy how fast life could change. And how drastically it could change — all because of one thing.

“y/n, you have to choose. Quick.” The doctor urged you. You felt the blood draining from your face as tears poured from your eyes. You were all alone with a lifeless Janis on the operating table, surrounded by people- doctors and nurses but the most alone and helpless you’ve ever been. You wanted so bad to fall on the ground and cry, but you tried to stay strong. Though you weren’t sure what it was for at this point. You didn’t know what to do.

Once Janis was confirmed to be in labour, you came into the hospital with her to meet her team for the occasion. You got her checked in then she was swiftly brought into her room that was picked out in advance. The nurses on shift got her changed into an open-back gown — which she hated, and got an IV plug set. She hated the latter even more. And of course, a fetal monitor. “All done, mama.” The nurse smiled sympathetically, “You’re all set. Just try and rest and we’ll be by every hour to check on you. If you need anything, call button is on the remote on either side of your head on the bed rails.

“Okay, thanks.” Janis replied simply.

Once the nurse had left, Janis asks, “Did you tell them yet?” “I did. I texted the group. Cady said she and Regina will come by soon, after they have breakfast. The rest of them are probably still asleep-” Your phone buzzes, “It’s Damian. He is…on his way.”

Janis chuckles, “He’s actually coming here?”

“Yeah, that’s what he said.” You showed her your phone screen briefly.

“Damn.”

You put your phone away, “How are you feeling so far?”

“It’s not bad, maybe I just have high pain tolerance.” Janis assured, “I’m okay.” You press a kiss to her forehead, squeezing her free hand. Her contractions were regular, but not causing her much pain yet. It was true, Janis had way higher pain tolerance than you did.

“You wanna get back to sleep, babe?”

She nodded, laying on her left side then drifted off to sleep while you stayed up keeping an eye on her and your phone in case any of your friends texted. Friends, yes. Family, no. Your parents didn’t like Janis and her parents did not like you. They’ve been against your relationship from the beginning but Janis didn’t give a shit.

Periodically, Janis would make little pained noises in her sleep, alerting you that she was having a contraction. Not once did she wake up, until someone came in to check on her progress. Boy, did she hate that. She showed it and the doctor definitely already knew. Once the doctor leaves, Damian showed up. “Hi, honey.” He greeted.

“Hi.” Janis forced a smile, laying back down.

“How you feelin’?”

“Uncomfortable. Especially with the doctor just shoving her fingers in to check me. What an invasion.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m sure they need to do that.” He cringed, “How are you doing?” He casts his glance you. “I’m…okay. Nervous? But fine.”

“Okay, do you want anything to eat, drink?” He continues.

“No, I’m okay I can’t even think about eating right now.” You declined. The three of you chatted for awhile, then Janis just suddenly got silent- her eyes screwed shut and she reached for your hand. You let her squeeze it to divert the pain, “You’re okay, baby. Breathe through it. You know what to do.”

Janis was handling it like a champ.

————

An hour later, Cady and Regina arrived. “We’re here.” Regina says, “How are things going?”

“So far, everything’s perfect.” You told the pair, “Progressing as expected.”

Janis has gotten quieter, now that the pain’s picked up in intensity somewhat. “Jan? You alright?”

She nodded, looking away from you. You hear her exhaling harshly. “Okay. You want some more ice chips?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” You told her, grabbing the paper cup off the table. You left Janis alone with the three of them for a minute or so while you went a little bit down the hall to get what she wanted. Actually, all she was allowed right now. “Here you go, babe.” You stood before, holding the cup up to her lips with a spoonful of the crushed ice. She opened up her mouth and accepted it.

“y/n?” Regina asks, breaking the silence, “Have you not eaten anything today? Your stomach just growled.”

“I don’t—”

“You need to eat.” Janis’s eyes flicked up to look at you.

“She’s right.” Cady chimed in, “I’m about to go down to the cafeteria anyway. I’ll grab you something too. Please eat. We can’t afford having you pass out today.” You reluctantly agreed while you fed your wife another spoonful of the ice.

“Fuck.” She mutters under her breath, you quickly put the cup down and held onto her, rubbing her back as she leaned onto you. Regina and Cady leaves after having asked you what you wanted to eat, after Janis’ contraction ended. “Whatever’s fine.” You told them.

“Okay, then.” Regina shrugs, leaving with Cady. As if on cue, a nurse returns to check on Janis. “You’re at a three.”

“Still?” Janis asked.

“It’s your first baby so it usually could take longer.”

“I can walk right? That’ll help?”

“Yes, dear.” The nurse answered, “You’re doing fine, don’t worry.”

“Thanks, Melanie.” You said to the nurse as she was leaving. She gives you a smile. You helped Janis stand up and walk around the room— but not before putting on a pair of non-slip socks.

You put an arm around her and kept her steady while she walked. Damian was paying pretty close attention just in case Janis got a pain that was too bad and you couldn’t hold her whole weight. The two of you took a few laps around the room before she decided she’s had enough for now. Regina returns and handed you a ham and cheese sandwich and a cup of tea, “Eat up. Cady’s in the bathroom.” “Thanks.” You took the food from the blonde and glanced at Janis in the meantime to make sure she was settled. “Babe, I’m okay. I’m just gonna take another nap before the pain keeps me awake.” Damian waits for her to be laying down comfortably before pulling her blanket up. “I’m so proud of you.”

Janis smiled at him, “Thanks, dude.” And with that, her eyes were closed again.

Regina started a conversation awhile later after deeming Janis deeply asleep enough to not get woken up too easily. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

“I haven’t slept in what, 4 hours and we only got five hours of sleep last night before her contractions started.” You told her, “I guess it’s just been hard for me to witness all of this— as relieved as I have been that her pregnancy has went by smoothly and is considered low risk.”

“Because of—”

You nodded knowingly, “My miscarriage, yeah. I tried my best to protect her, keep her healthy and safe. Today’s finally the day and I just want it to go well.” Unexpectedly, the usually unaffectionate blonde squeezed your hand. “She’s doing great.” Regina looks at Janis’ sleeping figure, “Look at that monitor- she’s having contractions but not making a sound? What a badass.”

A small sigh escapes your lips, “Thanks, G.” You resumed eating, Cady walks back inside quietly.

————

“I have a shift soon, so I’ll get going. Any of you, please keep me updated. I will be back later, okay?” Damian requested quietly seeing that you were now napping as well.

“Sure, Damian.” Cady promised.

“Thanks, y’all. See you guys later.”

You woke up from your short nap and it was currently hour five. At the last check, Janis had progressed from three to four centimetres. “No one came in to check her yet right?”

“No, but soon, judging by the time.” Cady assured.

Once the nurse walked in to check on Janis, she pretty much got startled awake. By the pain. Seeing that look on her face, you were instantly flustered. “Something’s not right.” You and your friends froze, you felt yourself getting lightheaded but you forced yourself to stay standing.

Melanie hurriedly checked what was going on. “I’m gonna call for her doctor now. We need to do a an emergency c-section and the baby’s heart rate is dropping. She’s haemorrhaging. y/n, I’m sorry, you and your friends are going to have to leave the room.”

No, you couldn’t leave her. Not right now. Janis was wailing in pain, the worst you’ve seen her all day. All pregnancy. She was crying for you, but she knew you weren’t going to be here. You couldn’t be.

“y/n, please. Leave now. Her team’s coming in right now to intervene.” Melanie started shoving you out of the room. Regina looked her displeased but quickly led you outside. You could hear and see Janis screaming and crying through the blinds. Until a minute later her team of doctors arrived and shut the blinds, but not before you caught a look of the pool of her own blood beneath her.

“Oh, my fucking god.” You collapsed, heart shattered and crying in Regina’s arms. She caught you, making sure you didn’t hurt your head. For once in her life, the blonde didn’t have a clue what to say. You felt another pair pf arms around you- Cady was also hugging you. But none of that helped- you wanted Janis to be okay. You couldn’t believe what you just had to witness.

“Sit down, baby. Sit down.” Regina persuaded. You could barely hear her, tears falling without an end. You heard the commotion of them rushing Janis into the operating theatre and you couldn’t bear to look. Regina shielded your eyes from the sight, but they could definitely see it. You hear Cady gasp- she didn’t mean it. But you cried harder. “She’s a fighter, y/n.” Cady told you, “She’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that.” You cried.

“She has a lot to live for, she will fight for them.” Regina agrees with the redhead. You blinked furiously, trying to stop the tears but they only kept falling.

Somehow, the whole gang appeared before you. You didn’t even know who told them but they were all here to keep you company. To hope and pray that Janis got through this. To make sure that the baby would be okay. As much as you appreciated them, you couldn’t express it. Your mind kept flashing with images of Janis in distress. It haunted you. No one dared to stop you from crying— you needed some form of release but they were also equally worried about what would come for you after such intense crying. With your head in your hands, your mind wanders to a particular conversation you had with Janis sometime during her pregnancy.

“If it ever comes to this…the doctor asks you if they should save the baby or me. Save me. We can always try again for a baby, one way or another.“

You sniffled, sitting up straight as you got into a coughing fit. Aaron quickly offered you a bottle of water from his bag. You declined wordlessly, right as a nurse rushed out asking for you. “Mrs. ‘Imi’ike, come with me now.”

The blood. The damn blood. Your stomach churned. But you took a breath and quickly followed her. “We’ve no choice but to ask, should we save your wife or the baby?” She asked while running. You ran with her, through the double doors and into the freezing operating theatre.

“We’re trying to save both of them right now, but in the worst case scenario, y/n, you have to choose. Quick. Right now.”

Seeing the team covered in her blood, seeing Janis unconscious. It shook you to the core, but you had to say it. You had to make the choice.

“Wife. Save my wife- I don’t care what it takes. You save my wife. I am not leaving without her.”

————

You don’t remember much from that point on. It was as though you’d blacked out. You didn’t even know how you got back out, but you were sitting in the plastic chair shivering. Gretchen. She drapes a jacket over you. You weren’t sure if it was her, but you heard her voice while you felt the fabric on your shoulders.

“y/n, look at me.” You hear Regina next. Your body just didn’t respond to that, but your mind becomes hyper-focused on the sickening feeling. You stood up but quickly fell back in the seat. Your legs didn’t work. Cady caught you this time- you hear her talking right by your ear as your head spun and spun. Your vision started to blur, your mouth watered feeling the bile rising in your throat.

You bent over and threw your whole breakfast up and then some. It does nothing but make you cry even harder, like that was even possible. They have never seen you like this…so vulnerable. You were always the life of the party. You always were optimistic, even through your own miscarriage. But this was a big fucking blow.

“They made me choose.” You sniffled, looking at no one in particular, “They made me choose—”

Aaron went to get a janitor to clean up the floor. “y/n, what—” Cady began asking. “Janis and the baby.” You swallowed, hard, your back falling against the backrest of the chair. Karen hands you a tissue, you wiped your mouth off hastily and she took another tissue to remove the used tissue from your hand. “They made me choose— and I —”

Regina holds you in her arms again, almost on reflex, letting you get whatever you wanted to say, out. “Janis told me before— to save her. And I did— but I still— oh, my God. What if she blames herself for the baby— G, I—”

“Sweetie, Janis knows what she wants and she’s always clear. You did what she would’ve wanted. You can always try again, but you only get one Janis.”

You only get one Janis.

————

The next hour or so— you weren’t certain, was like a never ending wait and nightmare. Your head rested on Cady’s shoulder as you tried not to give in to fatigue. Your head was starting to pound, you were so thirsty and your stomach ached from the inevitable hunger. But all you could think about was your wife.

The eerie sound of the double doors opening rang through your ears. You stood up right as her doctor approached you— free of her blood-stained attire. “Mrs. ‘Imi’ike, your wife is fine. But unfortunately, we had to let go of your baby. I’m very sorry for your loss, but your wife pulled through. She’s strong, a fighter.”

“Janis is okay?” You asked in disbelief.

“She received a blood transfusion for the blood loss thanks to one of your friends.” The doctor confirms, “She will make a full recovery.”

“Oh. Oh, my God. Thank you.” You hugged the doctor.

“It’s my job, dear.” She hugs you back briefly then broke away. “They’re just making sure she’s all settled then she’ll be moved to a ward. High-dependency for 72-hours just to be safe.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Take care.” With that, the doctor departs. You began searching for the said friend who apparently slipped away from the chaos to help Janis.

“Who was the one—”

“Regina’s also O-negative so she went ahead and just gave her blood.” Gretchen answered your question.

“What…?”

Regina did? This was the most selfless thing she’s ever done for anyone.

“Shit, I couldn’t even help—”

“y/n, please. Anyone would help- no questions asked. You can’t choose your blood type. That’s- that’s not how it works. Regina didn’t even hesitate.”

“You helped the most, y/n. You went with her wishes. You gave her a second chance at life.” Aaron chimed in.

Second chance at life…you did do that.

“Fuck, I don’t know what I would do without you g—” You looked at each and every one of them, seeing Regina walking out from a room with a bandaid on her arm. You ran over to her and just tackled her in a hug, “Regina, thank you.” You sobbed, “Thank you for doing that.”

“I did what I had to do.” She rubs your back, “Don’t need to thank me.”

Later on, you were all informed of where Janis was sent to. They only allowed immediate family to enter, meaning only you in this current situation. But they all walked up with you, and you were so confused when you got there because her parents were inside. Already. They were exiting so they saw you, and they looked like they wanted to kill you. Maybe not literally, but their words sure hurt.

“She would have been fine if it weren’t for you.” Her mother spat. Given your current state, that was all it took to make you cry again. Regina’s grip on your shoulders tightened. “The doctors say Janis is okay.” Her father told her mother.

“Not for sure, she isn’t.”

Regina was even angrier at this point, witnessing the hell you’d just been through. “She’s the reason your daughter’s even lying right there now.” Regina spoke up, “Nothing gives you the right to talk to her like that. She saved our friend, her wife, your daughter. If anything, you should be thanking her. You weren’t here for Janis- y/n was here through all of it. You have no idea what she’s been through today. You have no clue what she’s had to see, to hear for the whole pregnancy, you have no clue what she herself has been through so don’t you dare start this shit with me. Now move, it’s her turn.”

You quietly made your way past her parents and entered the hospital room. The pungent smell of antiseptic hit your nose. You cringe, eyes screwing shut for a second before you proceeded to sit in the creaky plastic chair.

“Hi, my love.” You greeted her tearfully, carefully picking up her fragile hand. “I’m very sorry for the choice I had to make for you, I could only save one of you and I know you asked me to but I’m so sorry. Please don’t blame yourself for it, please don’t do that. Like you said, we can always try again. But it was worth it because you’re still here with me. You’re still going to be here with me - we’ll continue to go through life together and nothing mattered more to me than making sure you were okay and didn’t suffer for more than you had to.”

You pressed a tender kiss to her hand then let it go to brush the hair out of her face, “Thank you for being so strong and fighting for yourself. I love you so very much, Janis.”

#auli’i cravalho #janis ‘imi’ike #janis 'imi'ke x fem reader #mean girls 2024 #wlw #queer #lesbian #fluff #angst #pregnancy fic #fanfic #wlw fanfic

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falled-over · 9 months

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Saya Aokabi, Hiromi,

Nana Miyada, Si Ku,

情緒, birthday (marabarl & marlbara),

Sara no Uta, Spookasa,

Spookasa, Spookasa

#i would seriously put 10000 of aokabi but i want to show range #couldnt include some good ones bc i couldnt find credit. man #also because they were too violent #unreality #i really like this genre. its not outright horror or gore. its more of a weird dissociation #comp post #i could keep going but ive been looking for hours

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venomgaia · 3 months

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i also have been testing pngtuber+ vs veadotubemini and heres rhe fruit of a 49 layer model

#not all the emotes are shown in this lil demo theres one i keep forgetting where it is lmao #return of the coke heartthrob #i like that i made a pngtuber despite the fact that i am extremelt averse to being percieved in video formats. i used to stream more #n would do drawing streams specifically while working on projects but. ive been outta the game so long im not. too sure how i feel about #like. going back #i also did yt for like. 2 videos during lockdown to try and chronicle that whole art school mess and ended up exploding #this boy is not made for audio/video formats 💔#this is actually to test run how efficient i could be if i were to make pngtuber a commission option when i open those #this took 5 hours and all his psrts including clothing are separate and he has skin under there (i dont save the images like thst tho)#so i can swap out outfits n stuff n not have over 49 moving parts #the ONE issue with this lineless style though. is recoloring parts #i tried to do recolored mouths for s paragon model and it was a pain so i didnt rlly finish or save it.#i think i still prefer veadotubemini tbh. the blinks feel more natural in it than in pngtuber+#but i rlly like the bounce that pngtuber+ provides for just Talking #so. hit or miss #and before anyone asks no i will not be learning live2d vtubing and will not make a 3d vtuber #all of that is just too scary for me i respect everyone i see who does it WAY more now that ive like. LOOKED it over #scary shit. leaving that to the professionals #my 3d model is strictly for fun and because i like vr and vrchat. but i do not think ill ever make a vtuber in 3d.

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coldvampire · 3 months

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anyway as soon as i pry myself off this couch im gonna share some screenshots of bg3 protags on my sideblog. just gotta like. reach the desk first.

#all i can think about is the shelves im gonna get installed here over the next little bit fdghj #yall dont understand its so hard to keep things clean and brain friendly when you just dont have anywhere to put stuff.#hellish #& then i get overwhelmed and turn into a massive bitch when i try to get it under control fdgh #instead its been like. 2 straight days of dopamine i fucking swear?? my body probably definitely wouldnt let me do this for a living #(my hip is screamingggg dfghgjj) but actually if i could & if i could work in a team then yeah. ykw i enjoy it.#organization go brrrrrrr #i dont think she was expecting me to work that fast either but ive been like a feral animal. skittering over clutter.#finding Spots for Things #okay i lied the flood was actually beneficial in one way to me specifically.#estranged father just forgot a Bunch of tool sets here & ive claimed them now fdghjk #that nail gun is MINE #she suggested i look out for an actual tool chest/bench thing (ykw the ones with wheels and stuff) for everything and i havent been that #excited for anything in months fdgh tools are expensive alright. too bad he took the table saw.#i dont talk much abt my Masc Hobbies as i call them lmao no real reason to but hoooboy i love to Build Things #give me that ikea desk ill have it done in an hour or less every time #maybe trade school is still on the horizon for me gfhj always wanted to Weld Stuff i think id be good at it #as much as i fuckin loathe yard maintenance i was a real garage sooooo bad its not even funny #shame i wasnt just inherently expected to know car stuff tm i feel like i would have loved it too #scarrier to learn on your own later in life especially with a lease vehicle but ill get there eventually #anyway yeah bg3! new mods. new ocs #have not done much with them yet but they Exist and theyre pretty

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orcelito · 8 months

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Lately, I've been learning to not take things for granted. I've been taking videos of my cats a bit more. Got a video today of me feeding June Bug and Tally, including bits of their meows

I deeply regret not having any record of the sound of Cassy's meow. I'm trying to make up for it with my girls, though.

#speculation nation #animal death ment/#i do have a video of me feeding Sammy. so i have at least one sample of his meow.#i just... never expected Cassy to die so young. not even 2 years old...#this summer has taught me not to take anything for granted #& that someone can go from a pillar in your life to dead in 6 weeks.#ive been awfully paranoid about everyone i care about dying. including my cats.#nothing is guaranteed. your cat can die with as little as an hour of warning.#you can see your uncle one day and then he's dead the next.#you said goodbye but you didnt know it was the last time.#and i keep thinking about whether each goodbye is my last one. every single goodbye could be the last one.#after 5 deaths in 5 years i just really do not have a good relationship with permanence.#or rather. trust in permanence. i do not trust it. because it's clear that it does not exist.#but it'd be nice if i could look at my cats without wondering which one's gonna be next.#trying to enjoy my time with them to the fullest. appreciate them while theyre here.#and not think about how id need a new memorial shelf for their ashes bc my current one is full.#.....ok maybe i am still a lil fucked up about it all. can u blame me tho. shit's been rough lmaot #negative/#yea. this accidentally turned into a vent. whoops.

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smolselfshippingaxcycat · 11 months

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alt vers w thicc lines (that i later ignored) below the cut

#self insert #not self ship #fursona #sfw furry #anthro #furry cat #axcycat meows #this is my fursona their name is reyhoon #also i keep falling in love with the library of ruina painterly style #and then i try putting it in my own art #ooguhghhgugh #ive been working on this piece fur like. maybe 4 hrs straight #i can feel my body falling apawrt /lh #this is based off a. like 4am doodle on the nyaight i had two stay up fur my sleep deprived eeg #where i had 'in hell we live lament' stuck in my head but i wasnt sure if i could listen two it or not beclaws i was only allowed tv #“hey netzach i spent 4 hours painting my fuckin fursona do yew still love me” /lhj (but fr i wonder what he'd think of my art sometimes)#also if yew look below the left (<-) eye they have a teardrop mark slightly obscured by their hair #yew can just barely see it also i got too tired two do the tail anyways im gonna go collapse nyaow bye /lh

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 1 year

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I came into work today and nothing, I mean nothing was done. Sauce bottles weren't filled, garbage wasn't taken out, the sink was full of old food, nothing was restocked, nothing was clean. It's ridiculous. I've closed by myself before and I've left the restaurant looking better than this. We shouldn't have to come in and set up the whole restaurant from scratch. I'm so tired. I can't keep doing this to myself. I'm going to finish cleaning up their mess so that my shift can function, and then I'm done. I'm going on Indeed and I'm looking for a new job. I dread coming to work because it's always left so bad. Customers suck, the employees suck, everything sucks and I just want to take a nap. I'm killing myself for this goddamn job and I'm getting nothing positive in return.

#i can't keep doing this #for my sake i need to stop #im considering just walking out and never coming back #i know thats an asshole move and it would fuck over my boss and hes a really nice guy #but for my sake i cant keep doing this anymore #i have to take a coworker home in a couple hours. im so tempted to just keep driving home after i drop him off #everywhere is hiring. at least five places within a mile of my apartment are hiring rn #this job needs me way more than i need it and i feel like they dont realize that #evey time i have a shitty say my boss will thank me the next day and tell me not to give up because itll get better #ive worked here since january and its only gotten worse. so much worse #its taking such a toll on my mental and physical health #today im working a ten hour shift. my sleep schedule has been destroyed by my work schedule #honestly. the idea of going home when i take my coworker home is looking more and more appealing #i could go home. take a nap. apply for jobs #i need to get a new job or start doing drugs to get through this

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jfkisonthemoon · 2 years

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it’s interesting because the longer i stay in higher education the more and more i feel like i really make sense here and like it really clicks with me, but at the same time the longer i stay in higher ed the more eager i get to actually apply what im learning about and get to experiment with all the different sources given to me

#like for a few terms now ive been at the point where for the most part im finally doing what i want to do and studying what id like to #and more and more its making me think about how much i genuinely like studying it and want to go even deeper with it #i really could see myself going to graduate school one day i really could see myself doing research and writing papers one day #but also at the same time i keep picturing how im going to apply all this in my career and i cant stop thinking about how i am going to use #what im learning about #doesnt help that i recently got a job in education so now im actively making lesson plans in addition to taking education classes #like i just spent a good half an hour looking up education games to play with one of my students i really want to apply these methods im #learning about and get better at making learning work for others #but at the same time the concept of education itself is so interesting i want to learn so much more about it and do research of my own #idk im ranting longer than i expected ive just been genuinely shocked how much ive been enjoying what im doing lately #i feel like im learning a lot and feeling positive about the work. idk i feel like im becoming more of myself through getting to explore #something thats intrigued me for so long #i probably will go to graduate school one day i love learning too much to not #but in the meantime who knows i just felt like ranting #jessie speaks #jessies college adventures #although at the same time i am very tired of homework and writing papers.#but also how much of that is that i want to read what I pick out now??? who knows

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majorasnightmare · 2 years

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obligatory vent text

fun fact there is a limit on the number of tags you can add to a post.

its 30

#i live in hell! i live in hell! i live in hell!#how do i tell the people i know that the reason i take so long about anything #to read the fic theyve written look at the art theyve made #is because i exist in a state of being constantly abused while my disabillities worsen #and it is in fact constant! there is no escape! i cant even sleep without the threat of abuse!#how do i make anyone understand that i have not left the house in years plural. like? i dont leave i am locked in with an abuser #the windows are shut the doors are closed i do not Get Out #no one will employ me! so i dont leave the house for work #i cant maintain an education! so i dont go out for school #no one who cares about me and my partner lives nearby! so i dont visit friends or leave for meals or j #hang out at all #it keeps escalating! because i cant leave she knows she can get away with it so she keeps escalating #all my online friends get used like piggy banks because she dangles necessities over our broke heads and says pay me or die #pay me or have no cell service. pay me or have no internet. pay me or dont eat. pay me or get kicked out #it wasnt even this bad at my parents. i could have 8 hours of school every day where i didnt have to deal with them #i dont even have that anymore #i dont have the energy for anything anymore. i am in constant misery #it doesnt ever stop! it only gets less bad! but it doesnt ever stop!#how do i make anyone understand ive been in a locked room for years and im not exaggerating #how do i make you get it! think of the things you do to leave your house! i dont go out to get snacks or drinks!#i dont go out to get groceries! i dont go out to say hi to people i know! there is no one i know here!#think about all the times you close your front door behind you and take them all away and thats been my life #everytime i bring it up i feel like no one gets the profound soul crushing isolation i live in #its just me and my partner. in hell. nonstop #all my doors are closed and theres no escape and i dont know whats going on in anyones lives anymore #i do not eat i do not sleep i can barely walk and i spend every day fluctuating between begging for death and being terrified of it #i dont. hear anyone else talk. i hear 2 voices. every day. i cant remember how to interact with people #im not the person any of you used to know im worse im worse im so much worse #how can you exist when you cant fully unpack your box of clothes in case you get thrown out next week. how do you have hobbies #how do you talk about a traumatic event last year when yesterday someone screamed at your partner so loud it knocked the bathroom door open

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florida3exclamationpoints · 10 months

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SCREAMING

#the sales associate guy is on break rn so its just me and the manager in the store #a lady was in the store and she came over to my cookie case #im supposed to be 1. yelling across the store to greet people when they come in and 2. asking if they want cookies when they're at the case #greeting people isn't going well but ive been doing pretty good with asking when they're close to me #(pretty good for me is still not good tho)#she was looking at the case. i was thinking oh ill ask her in a sec. ill let her look for a sec.#i could also tell that she was anxious too and didn't wanna be talked to. like i have a sense for that #MANAGER GUY. goes 'Elisabeth. 👀👈'#to tell me to talk to her #so i did and then its A MILLION TIMES WORSE BC I KNOW HES WATCHING ME. and now im THAT MUCH MORE ANXIOUS TO GREET PEOPLE TOO #i cant jump on customers as soon as i see them im sorry. i HATE when i go to stores like that how am i supposed to do it to other people #but UUGSJDGDHD he keeps REMINDING ME like i just dont care or im not listening or paying attention or WHATEVER #and it makes it so much worse. then it gets worse so its harder to say hey man youre triggering my anxiety.#so he keeps doing it. so it gets worse. but then its harder to-#i hid in the bathroom for a sec to write this lol im gonna catch my breath and go back out #IM GONNA DIE!!!!!!!! I WANNA GO HOME!!!!!!!!!#i have 2 hours left :(#she was a baker girl

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certifiedcodbabygirl · 28 days

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Simon Riley crying and praying for the first time in years bc you're hospitalized

(self indulgent as fuck, based off of personal medical history bc it'll be more accurate)

You hadn't ate or drank for 5 days, unable to keep anything down. You thought it was the flu at first. Fevers, puking, extreme fatigue. It didn't seem like anything out of the norm. Except for when your fevers started casing full body convulsions that made you look possessed. Chills and cold sweat turned to groaning and crying, muscles all over cramping and clenching, breathing becoming difficult. You figured it was because you hadn't had the flu in years. How wrong you had been.

Once your puke turned green, which was later found out to be bile from your kidneys, Simon rushed you to the hospital. Unable to stand, he pulled a wheelchair from the entrance and pushed you everywhere. Within 2 hours, the nurses had you admitted and on IV meds. Pain meds, IV Tylenol, and bags of fluid were hooked up to you, rehydrating you being high priority. Your body is in shock, resting heartrate being 140. He sat by your side the entire time, holding your puke bag in one hand, and your hair back in the other. The doctors drew blood, running blood cultures, searching for a more accurate answer.

The night you were admitted, they informed you that your kidneys were so infected that one got injured. The bile that was thrown up was caused but how hard you were puking, pulling it up from your kidneys.

He stayed the night, sleeping in the rocking chair, right next to your bed. He woke up when your fevers came back, holding your hand and telling you how good you're doing, calling in a nurse. The morning that followed, he had to go back to the house to make a bag of your immediate needs, clothes, deodorant, hairbrush, and anything else he could think of. When he came back, a doctor and a couple med students came in with important news.

"We ran blood cultures to see if there was possible an infection in your blood due to your symptoms leaning towards that. They came back positive. We are going to give you antibiotics and run cultures every 12 hours to track if the antibiotics are working" The doctor says as gently as possible.

The room begins to feel like it's spinning. Sepsis has a 68% mortality rate, and knowing how deadly it is, it feels like you're already being buried. Simon looks to you with a confused look, not knowing exactly what that it, but knowing it isn't good.

"I have sepsis?" You ask in a quiet voice, throat constricting.

"Yes" The doctor says softly.

"Oh fuck I'm gonna die" you whisper under your breath, tears forming.

Simon looks to you, eyes widening. 'Not again'

"Wait, the hell is Sepsis?" He demands, but not sounding confident, more scared than anything.

The doctor explains it to him, how it when your blood is infected, how the infection can latch onto your other organs and slowly kill you from the inside out. Once it reaches your brain, it's too late. His grip on your hand tightens. The doctor tries to give hope, but she can only do so much without lying. She leaves to give you privacy.

It's silent, neither of you speaking out of shock. The only noise in the room is the quiet hum of the IV machine and Simon's shaky breathing. Your thumb softly glides back and forth over the back of his hands, trying to ground him.

"Si" you softly call.

It takes hour to get him to loosen up a little. It's only when you manage to keep down a popsicle that he feels like he can breath a little easier. Like maybe you'll be part of the 32% that pull through.

That sliver of hope is crushed that night, being woken up by his arm being slapped repeated by you in a panic. His eyes meet yours, concern instantly written on his face. Your hand is on your chest as short, sharp breaths are the only thing you can manage.

"I,, can't,, breath,," you whisper between breaths, unable to say a sentence in one go.

"Baby it's alright, jus' try to breath wit' me, hm?" he tries to demonstrate slow breathing, mistaking it for a panic attack.

"not a,, panic,, attack,, please,, nurse,," you try to tell him.

He nods in a panic, running out to the nurse station and explaining. They rush in and take your pulse-ox just to see your oxygen percentage is at 86% when it should be above 95%. They try to do the deep breathing again before Simon interrupts them.

"It's not a bloody panic attack, she literally can't breath. Get her oxygen or somethin' before she fuckin' suffocates!"

They put you on oxygen until they can get you an X-ray. The nurses try to chalk it up to a panic attack until in the morning they see you still can't breath. They give you an X-ray and when the results come back, they send the doctor in. She informs you that the nurses gave you too much IV fluid and that caused your organs to swell so much that they pushed up on your lungs, collapsing them by 3/4ths. 1/4th of your lungs are still open and they're going to take you off fluid, start you on exercises to open them back up, and keep you on oxygen.

That's the last straw for Simon. Once you fall asleep for a nap, he heads outside to the bench area and punches a wall. His knuckles split but he barely feels it, ringing in his ears drowning out the surrounding noise. With no one around, he sits on a bend, elbows on knees and face in his hands. His breath picks up as his throat tightens and tears threaten to rip out of him.

"Why would ya let this happen to 'er? Aren't you supposed to be lovin'?" He whispers into the wind, looking up at the sky, "That girl in't like me. She's the fuckin' sunshine in human form and she's on death's bloody doorstep."

Tears cloud his vision, unable to keep it in any longer. He blinks them away, falling onto his clenched fists. Years of praying, to a god he later grew to resent, for him to fix his family. A child kneeling at his bed, begging him to get his family out of his father's grasp. Once he got to his teenage years, his desperation became resentment and anger. His jaw began to clench when his drunken father would spew bible verses at him to condemn him. He realized God wouldn't save him, nor would he when Simon's family was ripped from him.

Yet here he was, back to that same god, desperate that maybe, just maybe, he'd have mercy on him this time. He believed himself a rotten man, even if it was subconscious, unworthy of the angel sent to him. His light, reparations for the mistreatment The Father had destined for him.

"You sent 'er to me, it's gotta be for a reason. You've never listened to my prayers before but just this fuckin' once, please don't ignore me." His voice breaks, openly sobbing with no sound, "You sent 'er to me and now I can't live without 'er. She's fuckin' everythin' to me. Don't take back your gift, please" The end of his sentence slips into a whisper.

He wipes his tears on his sleeve and sniffles hard, trying to erase the evidence of his vulnerability. He stands and walks to the door, looking back at the bench before turning back to the door and walking in. 'Amen'

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orcelito · 11 months

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Maybe ignoring my grief is detrimental to my overall mental health

Idk what else to do tho

#speculation nation #negative/#kinda.#like idk. part of me is like 'its been almost 2 weeks i should be over this by now'#then the other part is like 'it hasnt even been two weeks. of course youre still fucked up about it.'#i keep failing to write and it's frustrating bc i want to progress the story already #but ive barely been able to write since then Anyways #the chapter i got out was mostly written by the time it happened. i just kinda scrounged around to get the last part done #so i could have Something to post...#but anytime i look at that chapter i remember poking at it while in the waiting room for almost 4 fucking hours #and it's hard to feel joy from it all. im mostly just miserable.#sometimes you experience one of the worst days of your life & you just have to keep going on like nothing happened #it's been almost two weeks. it hasnt even been two weeks.#but life goes on. i just want to be over it.#im hoping getting the cat tomorrow will help. i need to move on already.

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sluttywoozi · 1 month

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Golden Hour | husband!joshua x reader

After a long day of surf and sun, Joshua somehow still has the energy to fuck you into the hotel mattress. Being in love (and obsessed) with his wife always pays off.

Rating: M (18+) | WC: ~4.4k | Pairing: hjs x reader | Genre: smut

Part of the Husband Joshua series! Can be read as a standalone

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V

Warnings: idk how to surf so if this is wrong blame wikihow, possessive!josh, drink mention but it doesn’t have to be alcoholic, oral r. rec., spitting, some spanking, fingering, piv sex, breeding kink but they don't want kids, creampie(s), cockwarming

Reader Notes: has breasts and a vagina, on some form of birth control, referred to as a wife, wears a bikini (every body is a bikini body), wears a dress

Joshua raises a hand to his face, holding it above his eyes to block the glaring sun as he scans the crowded shore for you. He’s been out in the water for a while, trying to improve his surfing skills and also perhaps trying to impress you, just a little. Neither you nor him have been to the beach since your honeymoon, and he doesn’t want you to think those lessons he splurged on while you were having a spa day were for nothing.

He’s caught a few waves so far but hasn’t made it close enough to the shore to see your face, so he has no idea if you’ve been watching him or if you’ve just been reading and listening to music. He won’t be hurt if you haven’t had your eyes on him, but he does want you to see him ride at least one wave.

He hears some murmurs from the few other surfers in front of him and turns around, instantly seeing what has them talking. There’s a big one coming in, building and building and building, and if he starts paddling now, he just might make it.

So he leans forward onto his stomach, his arms powering through the water even as his muscles begin to ache from so much use. The ocean beneath him starts getting sucked in, contributing to the rolling wave, and he prepares himself to pop up and find his balance.

His heart races as he takes off, getting his feet beneath him and standing on steady legs, his arms loose and his eyes trained on the shore. He rides the wave as far as he can, bailing when it starts to peter out and immediately swimming up to catch his breath. Climbing back onto his board, he looks around for your rented rainbow sun umbrella, grinning when he realizes he’s much closer to it than he thought he’d be.

You’re not under it though, his smile dropping as he starts to survey the beach, searching for you. He can’t seem to find you, and for some reason that has his heart racing again, this time in anxiety rather than exhilaration.

“Joshie! That was amazing!” You exclaim from somewhere to the left of him, your voice just a bit faint but still easily recognizable. He whips his head over, his shoulders relaxing as soon as he sets eyes on you, wading waist deep in the clear blue water and making your way toward him.

He beams and hops off the board, closing the remaining distance and catching you with one arm as you launch yourself at him. The other keeps hold of his board, though he wishes he had both hands free to hug you back.

He also wishes he could feel your skin against his, but his swim shirt is still in the way and he won’t be able to take it off until you let go of him, which he’s not going to ask you to do any time soon.

It’s silly but he’s missed you while he was out surfing, even though it’s only been a couple of hours. You’ve been on vacation for three days already and he’s grown used to sharing every minute with you, being in your presence for each breath in and each breath out, bar bathroom breaks and the one nap you took without him when he wanted to explore and you wanted to stay in.

He wishes it could be like this all the time, but he’ll settle for the rest of the week if only because he knows he’ll have you for the rest of his life.

Too soon, you pull away, sliding your hands from his shoulders to rest on his chest, your touch appreciative and the slightest bit possessive. His hand on your waist tightens, his fingers digging into the soft flesh exposed by your bikini. You let him pick out your swimsuit today, and while some men might want to cover their wife up, he’s the opposite.

He thinks it’s hot that people are looking at you, wanting you, not knowing he’s the only one you’ll ever go home with. They realize when he presses his lips to yours in a claiming kiss, when he lets his hands wander a little, when they notice the matching rings on your left fourth fingers.

He doesn’t even know if anyone is looking at you now, too busy staring into your eyes to notice anything else, but he feels the urge all the same. You can already tell what he wants, leaning in to meet him in the middle as he kisses you deeply, slowly, sucking at your bottom lip and sliding his tongue into your mouth when it opens on a gasp.

His hand slips down to your ass, squeezing it over your swimsuit hard, pulling your cheek up and over, surely tugging at your pussy too. You squirm against his chest, pressing closer to him as your fingernails dig into his pecs.

He remembers you’re at a public beach when a wave crashes into you, and thank goodness it did because he was millimeters away from slipping his hand into your bikini bottoms so he could find out if you’re wet from the water or wet for him.

He pulls away and laughs, shifting his hand to your lower back and pecking you one last time before breathing, “Should we head back to the room?”

“Yeah, I think we should. Wanna lay out enough to dry off first?” You offer hopefully, and while he kind of just wants to throw you over his shoulder and haul you to the hotel now, he knows you hate tracking water through the clean lobby.

“Sure, baby, we can do that,” he smiles fondly, giving you one last squeeze and releasing you. His board goes under one arm and you go under the other, your hand coming up to hold his as you walk back to the shore together.

He splits off from you to return the board to the surf shack, promising he’ll bring back one of those coconut drinks for you to share though he knows you’ll likely have most of it.

The line isn’t too long for the return of the board or the purchase of the coconut drink, thankfully, and he walks back to you with care, not wanting to spill even a drop.

You’re on your stomach to the side of the umbrella when he arrives, not under its shade but close enough that it’s obviously yours, a thick terry cloth blanket spread out under you with just enough room for his body too. He sighs contentedly as he sits next to you, handing over the drink and smiling as your eyes widen with glee, your lips pursing around the straw to take an excited sip.

He reaches for the hem of his surf shirt and yanks it off, wringing it out away from the blanket and laying it flat on the edge of the lounge you no longer occupy. You roll over to lay on your back and he feels your eyes on him like a physical touch, your gaze hot and familiar on his chest and stomach.

He loves how you look at him, loves that you’d rather stare at him than at the beautiful beach around you, loves even more that you’re obsessed with his body just like he’s obsessed with yours.

He also loves that this way, he can look at you too. You shift up onto your elbows, your breasts jiggling with the movement, and he feels a bolt of desire shoot straight down his spine as he lets his eyes lovingly travel over every available inch of you. Over your soft tummy and your squeezable hips and your perfect, perfect thighs. Thighs he wants to suffocate between. Thighs he wants to sink his teeth into. Thighs he wants to hold down to the bed as he-

“I think I’m dry enough. Are you?”

He clears his throat and attempts to clear his head, but images of you still swim through his thoughts, even as he nods and tugs at his board shorts to subtly adjust himself. They don’t feel as wet between his fingers, just damp, and when he reaches for his shirt, it’s close enough to dry that he only cringes a little as he pulls it back on.

You pack up together quickly, and Joshua is almost relieved when you reach for your dress and tug it over your head, needing a reprieve from your near naked body. He’s less relieved when he remembers that it’s a fucking sundress.

Of course it is, that’s all you’ve been wearing on this trip, and he doesn’t know how he forgot. This is worse, because it’s his favorite article of clothing on you, and because he knows all you’ve got on under it is an easily untied, flimsy little bikini.

It takes everything in him not to pull you into one of the changing cabanas, bend you over, and make you scream for him; he manages somehow, the knowledge that he can do the latter two when you get into the room tiding him over, but only just.

He’s silent while you return the umbrella, his hand tight around yours as you walk through the lobby, and he’s glad you know him well enough to understand that he’s not upset or annoyed, just nearly out of his mind with desire for you.

The wait for the elevator feels like eons, especially when he looks at you in the reflection of the metal doors, your form slightly fuzzy but clear enough for him to see the rise of your tits under your dress and the way the hem flutters gently over your thighs. Those thighs…

The doors part with a ding and you pull him inside, pressing the button for your floor before the elevator fills with other guests, leaving you and Joshua at the back. You’ll have to maneuver in between them to get out but it means he can slide his hand up your dress and squeeze your ass again, his fingers slipping under your bikini to touch your bare skin.

They creep closer to the heat between your legs with every stop, and he’s just about to reach your pussy when the elevator lands on your floor. He reluctantly takes his hand back and rights your dress, murmuring, “Excuse us,” as he weaves around the few people left. When the doors close behind you, he twines his fingers with yours and breaks into a jog, tugging you to the room and grinning as a few bitten back giggles escape you.

He bounces on his toes as you dig the card out of your bag, your trembling fingers inserting it into the lock and his hand turning the handle as soon as the light glows green. He pushes the door open for you, following closely with his other hand tight on your hip, his dick already hard and throbbing in anticipation.

You’ve barely set your bag down before he’s steering you to the bed, crowding you up against the edge, and pressing your shoulder to bend you over. He flips up the hem of your dress and tears down your bikini, knocking your legs apart with his own and pushing his left knee up until yours rests on the bed. He’s sure you expect him to drop his shorts and sink right into you, which is probably why you gasp when he falls to his knees and slaps your ass with both hands before spreading your cheeks apart and shoving his tongue inside of you.

You taste fucking divine, the beloved flavor of your pussy tinged with salty seawater, and he groans deeply into you, fucking his tongue in and out of your entrance and swallowing as his mouth fills with saliva and your arousal.

He fucks you with his tongue until you’re whining and shaking above him, tilting your hips to improve the angle and rocking into his movements. The leg keeping you up starts to quiver, and he pulls away just long enough to gasp out, “On the bed, baby, get on the bed.”

You listen, clumsily climbing up and stretching out for him, face down, ass up, just like he likes you. He smacks your ass again just because he can before spreading your pussy open with his thumbs and spitting on your clenching entrance. Some of it seeps inside of you and some of it trails down to your clit, leaving the bud glistening and just begging for his attention.

He leans down and wraps his lips around it, sucking in hard, quick pulses until you cry out, “Joshie, please!”

“Please what, baby? Tell me what you want,” he mumbles into you, just loud enough for you to hear.

“Your fingers, I want your fingers,” you whimper into the pillow, arching your back and pressing further into him in wanton need.

He licks his lips to get one last taste of you and slides two digits deep inside, giving you no time to adjust to the intrusion before pulling them out to the tip and sinking them back in. His pace rockets up, his tired muscles hard at work as he fucks you with his fingers, the wet sound of your pussy accepting them filling the air.

He wants to hear your voice too, slowing down and leaning over you to slide his fingers beneath your cheek and turn your head to the side so you’re no longer muffled by the pillow. Your gaze catches his and he smiles tenderly at you, pressing a kiss to your temple before returning to his previous position and hooking his fingertips into your g-spot, grinding harshly into it.

Predictably, you yelp, your eyes squeezing shut as he focuses on massaging that sensitive patch, his breath catching as he feels you get wetter around his fingers. You’re moaning now, your brows scrunched with pleasure and your mouth stuck open, and he reaches his free hand up to tap at your bottom lip with two fingers, sliding them into your mouth when you open wider for him.

You suction around them immediately, your tongue laving over his knuckles and bathing his fingers in saliva, and he feels his cock throb in his shorts in response, the memory of your perfect lips around it visceral and precious. He yanks his fingers back before he can get too distracted, reaching around you to sandwich your clit between them.

He starts fucking you with his other hand again, your hips jerking with it, stimulating your clit as he curls his fingertips towards your stomach, tapping your sweet spot with every thrust. It’s not long before you’re gasping out his name and clenching down, your thighs juddering as you fight to hold yourself up through the pleasure.

He doesn’t stop, pinching your clit harder and digging his fingers into you, scissoring them to stretch you out for another. A third squeezes in beside the first two, making you whine and claw at the duvet, your cunt contracting and trying to suck his fingers in deeper when he pulls them out.

“Fuck,” he groans, releasing your clit to press down on your back and deepen the arch, making it even easier for him to hit your g-spot. He wants to be inside of you, desperately, but he wants to make you cum again first, wants you to be so wet, he can just glide right in.

You’re getting close, he can tell by the way you’re pushing back into his thrusts and sobbing, and he doesn’t know what possesses him to say it, but it just feels so fucking right that he can’t stop the words from coming out.

“Cum for me and I’ll breed you full.”

You suck in a sharp gasp and bear down, your pussy rippling and leaking and fever hot as you break apart beneath him, your arousal soaking his hand and dripping down his wrist. It seems like it lasts forever, though he’s sure it helps that he’s still fucking his fingers into your g-spot as much as your tightness will allow.

He knows you’re done when you whimper brokenly and pull away from his touch, your hand reaching back to hold his wrist in place so he doesn’t follow you. He decides to let you catch your breath, sliding off the bed to shed his shorts and wipe his hand off on a towel, bringing it with him so he can spread it out under you like he should have done before.

You’re on your side when he returns, and he climbs back onto the mattress before carefully tugging at your shoulder and hip, pulling you to rest on your back and waiting for you to look at him.

When your eyes blink open, they’re teary and dazed, and you watch as he gathers a couple pillows, weakly lifting your hips just enough for him to slide them under you and lay the towel out on top of them. He’s gentle as he sets his hands on the backs of your knees and pushes your legs up, the angle making it easier for you to keep them tucked to your chest when your hands replace his.

He can tell your head is full of clouds by the way you gaze at him, and he attempts to bring you some clarity by asking, “Remember what I said before?”

You think for a second, your lips pouting as you try to recall, and he can’t resist leaning down over you and pressing his mouth to yours, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip before he soothes the sting with his tongue.

When he pulls away, it seems to come to you, and your eyes clear up just a bit as you respond, “You said you’d breed me full if I came for you.”

“Good, baby, that’s right. So what do you think I’m going to do now?” He asks, sitting back up on his knees and shuffling closer to lay his aching cock on your wet pussy, just barely grinding against you.

“You’re gonna-,” you take in a halting breath. “You’re gonna breed me?”

“Yeah, honey,” he nods with a hungry smirk, shifting his hips back enough to line himself up before pressing forward a few inches and popping the head of his cock inside of you. “I’m gonna fuck you full of my cum, until it’s dripping out of you. And then I’m gonna fuck it back in, and fill you up even more. Until it takes.”

You whimper from deep in your throat, pressing your lips together and readjusting your grip on your legs, your eyes darting down to stare yearningly at his cock.

“Do you want that?” He whispers, working himself in as slowly as he can manage, teasing both you and himself.

You just nod, but he wants to hear you say it, needs to hear it from your own lips.

“Tell me then.”

“I- I want you to fill me up with your cum, fuck a baby into me, please.”

He sinks the rest of his cock inside of you, covering your hands with his and spreading your legs wider, pushing them into your chest and resting his weight on them as he draws back and snaps forward.

He’s not gentle now, and he’s definitely not slow, his hips smacking into your ass as he thrusts forcefully into you, his grunts of exertion soon joining the cries escaping you. You’re staring up at him with stars in your eyes, your fingers tight on your thighs beneath his and your pussy fucking flawless around him, and he’s never been so in love.

That’s a thought he has constantly but he means it every single time, his devotion to you endless and all consuming.

His appetite for you is voracious enough to rival it; the need, the sheer greed that he feels when it comes to you stripping him down to his basest desires. He’s only human in the end, and nothing could be more human than the urge to love you, to fuck you, to breed you, to keep you. He knows you’re his already but beyond that ring on your finger, there’s one other thing that could show the world you belong to each other, and that includes pumping you so full of his cum, it sticks.

He’s getting close already just thinking about it, and the way you’re clenching and fluttering around him doesn’t help in the slightest. He wouldn’t mind breaking this early though, not when it means he can just get hard again and fuck his cum even deeper into you.

“Joshie,” you whine in the voice that means you’re inches away from the edge, and he feels his body respond, his heavy balls drawing up tight and his cock hardening further within you.

“Cum whenever you want, baby. I’m not stopping anytime soon,” he vows darkly, fully intent on keeping you in this bed and on his dick for the rest of the day. Maybe for the rest of his life.

You shudder at his words, gasping when he shifts his hips and changes the angle, the head of his cock now bullying right into your g-spot. He can’t hit as deep like this but he knows it’ll be enough to unravel you, and that’s exactly what he wants.

He grins wickedly when you start to ripple around him, knowing the waves of your orgasm are beginning to overtake you, and when it’s at its peak, he sinks in deep and lets you carry him with you. He groans roughly at the feeling of your undulating walls milking his cock, relief and bone deep satisfaction filling him as he fills you.

He doesn’t stop, doesn’t even slow down, fucking you through the sensitivity and burying his cum deeper inside of you. You buck against him in overstimulation, crying out his name with tears in your voice, and he feels his cock twitch and get harder, your pussy like a molten velvet vise around him.

An hour and two more loads pass by in a blur, every minute melting into the next as he ruts into you, barely pulling back enough to get any friction but grinding into your sweet spot to keep you pliant. He thinks he might’ve fucked you dumb, no words escaping your parted lips and no thoughts behind your glassy eyes. You’re still holding your legs up though, and that’s how he knows you’re present enough to hear him.

“Said I would fuck you full, didn’t I, baby?” He laughs breathily, his eyes trained on the sight of his cock thrusting into you, the combination of your arousal and his cum seeping out around him in bursts. “I think you’re pretty fucking full.”

You mumble something but he doesn’t catch it, and he shifts your legs onto his arms and leans down, bracing his hands on the bed to hold himself up. “What was that, honey?”

“Not enough,” you gasp out, releasing your thighs to wrap your arms around his neck. “It’s not enough, Joshie, I want more.”

Your words blend together but he hears them all the same, and a jolt of desire surges through him, traveling down his spine and ending in his cock. He gets his legs under him, trapping you in a mating press so he can put more power behind his hips as his strokes get deeper, longer, your fingernails digging into his neck with every thrust of his aching dick.

“I can give you one more, baby, I’ll give you whatever- whatever you want,” he groans raggedly, his vision blurring and his hips stuttering as he nears the edge for what he fears may be the last time. You clench and squeeze and flutter around him, whimpering, “Please, Joshie, breed me,” and that’s it for him.

This time when he cums, it’s enough to steal his voice, his breath, his thoughts. It’s blinding, the pleasure, but that just means he feels everything. He feels you falling to pieces on his cock, he feels the warmth of the sunset on his back, he feels his heart racing in his chest. He feels his cum filling you again, replacing what he’s fucked out, and more than anything, he feels satiated, like there’s nothing left to give and nothing left to take.

He all but collapses into you, shifting to rest his knees on the bed and dropping your legs from his arms, his face buried in your neck as he trembles and gasps for air. Your cunt is still hugging him tightly, and he winces at the sensitivity of his spent cock but doesn’t pull out, can’t pull out, not when he knows that all of his hard work will go to waste as soon as he does.

You run gentle fingers through his salty hair, your chest slowly rising and falling against his, and his body starts to grow heavy, exhaustion weighing him down and the comfort of your pussy keeping him warm.

He’s asleep before the golden light of the sun fades from the sky.

“Joshua, with everything we said, I have to ask… Have you changed your mind about kids?” You ask softly, your back to his chest and your body between his legs as you laze in the massive hotel bath together.

He presses his lips to your neck and thinks, only for a second, before responding, “No, I’m happy with our life. I don’t need anything but you.”

You let out a sigh of relief and turn in his arms, resting your cheek on his shoulder and tucking your legs up, your knees just barely out of the water. He scoops some up and pours it over you, not wanting you to get cold.

“Good, I feel the same way.”

“Love you,” he murmurs into your hair, kissing your crown and rubbing his hand up and down your back.

“I love you,” you whisper in return. “The breeding kink was hot though, let’s keep that?”

“Oh yeah, baby, for sure.”

AN: for @thatgirlfromwindsor and these anons 💖

Seventeen Masterlist

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