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pancakes-with-grounded-hazelnuts · 26 days

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hsr: 2.1 spoilers

thoughts on firefly (LONG AND UNPOLISHED BUT I MUST SCREAM)

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just to get it out of the way, i love that firefly is sam.

also what i’m about to share is a mix of interpretation and headcanon based on how i would write her. NOT INTENDED TO BE A THEORY OR A PROPER ANALYSIS OF CANON.

and i’m not going through all of samfire’s dialogue and lore for this because if i did that for every post expressing my thoughts i’d never post anything ever.

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i propose: “firefly” is sam’s dream.

imagine this: you are a killer. one with strength and perception far beyond any mortal being. when an enemy is caught by your senses, their life ends before they ever knew the fear of your presence. this is what you were made to be, and this is all that you are. you can’t even dream…but you can imagine.

what if you were instead, a mortal? one with lovely eyes the color of the night sky lit by a bustling city below. you’ve always looked to a starry sky fondly, and longingly. so incomprehensibly vast - each speck of light was a unique something, forming a great sea of possibilities, but all too far from your reach. what could be a better fit?

and what if instead of the one role you were made for, you had many roles? this young mortal is an actor! sure, actors read off a script as well, but each story woven by the script was different. each has its own destiny. you ponder what it’s like to be bound to multiple destinies, rather than just the one.

and you continue to ponder. each day this imaginary “you” becomes more and more realized. and now that you have finished imagining, you begin to wish: that between the checkpoints of fate, the brief moments of freedom will let you play as this “you”. but you know that’s all it is: play. you can never escape your true nature…right?

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UH. BASICALLY. i headcanon firefly as sam’s wishful persona manifested in the dream world.

that being said, that doesn’t make firefly any less real to me.

firefly herself even asserts that what one experiences in a dream is still true and valid, but when sam speaks, they seem resigned to what they believe is their “nature”, like they can only be the type of person firefly is in a fabricated world.

without the constraints of the waking world, sam can be a kind and lively young woman who can make friends on her own, and has a job - a purpose - where as a performer, obeying the scripts brings delight instead of blood. and it was such a wonderful experience that they didn’t want to wake up from it.

i don’t yet know how much sam fully validates their “firefly” self beyond the feelings being real, but the way they behave and describe themselves to acheron when they’re sam suggests that they don’t believe they can also truly be “firefly” at the same time.

also i’m mainly going off of the idea that firefly’s appearance can only be easily manifested in the dream world, and that sam’s “armor” is truly just their body, but i believe this headcanon still works even if it is armor, because it is more about the mentality.

of course there are some glaring constraints in reality that prevents them from being able to do certain things (at the moment), but the way sam views themselves also constrains them far more than they realize. if sam wishes to be firefly, then sam IS firefly. and once they realize that, they don’t have to strictly act and identify in the way they believe they should.

sam’s scripts have always been brief, and i wonder…is it just because sam is simple in their skills and approach to their work? or is it because between the inescapable events one calls destiny, between the tasks sam must fulfill, they can do or be whatever they choose?

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that was a very roundabout way to say that i think samfire is trans.

bonus thoughts:

omg after seeing the reveal, firefly feels more like an affectionate parody of the character we were meant to think she is. hc sam watched and read a lot of romcoms and was like…damn i wish that was me. i wish i was a cute girl with fluffy hair going on a date with the trailblazer, but alas i am but a 8 ft tall murder robot. GIRL YOU CAN BE BOTH.

i also like that this idea highlights a more positive side to dreaming, in contrast to the rest of the penacony story so far. yes, one can’t slumber forever, but is a rest - a respite - not needed from time to time? and just as reality can follow one into their dream, can dreams not also be with you when you wake?

#honkai star rail #hsr 2.1 spoilers #hsr firefly #god i hope i don’t regret posting this #this fandom scares me #yet for some reason i must share #if this gets too much attention i’m deleting it #i can’t believe i’m not talking about jingliu for once

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basschan · 14 days

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I’m not sure if anyone will read this, but have any of you who happen to be trans but not binary “passing” ever felt really really isolated even around other, non-trans, LGBTQ+ people? I always feel like I’m talking to walls and maybe it’s just me but I feel really isolated and excluded because of it sometimes.

Or literally just send me an ask bc I feel so weird about it right now. A really really weird, and to me disheartening, event happened recently involving my cohorts and I have no idea if maybe I’m just overreacting or not.

Edit: I want to specify here that no, I don’t believe that non-trans LGBTQ+ plus individuals are “bad” or anything of the like, I have a lot of friends that are and we’re cool. I’ve just been having a specific problem recently, with a certain group of people I’m around, and I’ve been wondering if I’m the only one who feels this way sometimes. I feel like that should go without saying, but I just wanted to clarify that.

#for context I’m a graduate student who’s openly nonbinary and I’ve had top surgery #a lot of my colleagues are also lgbtq but not in the same way as me (obvs)#also I put passing in quotations bc I believe sometimes that word can be used a bit nefariously by transmedicallists #and I don’t want it to read as me being like that cause I’m NOT #and now I’m going to bury this under my posts bc I feel a little stupid for being like this :(((#shoosh dr.gate #trans #transgender #nonbinary #agender #poll #I’ll probably delete this if no one uses it

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micamicster · 5 months

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#trying to write a speech in the 20 minutes before my next interview #in case i am expected to speak at this city council meeting i got begged to attend #what’s the point. it’s a city council meeting on a resolution. meaningless.#but I have to believe every little bit helps so that’s what we’ll believe!#if I don’t speak oh well I guess new script for calling my senators gonna mix it up some :/#I’ll probably delete this post in a minute I just needed to vent before I go smile in an interview for 6 hours #going old school. period in. the body rant in the tags lol

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the-physicality · 14 days

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Sorry did I say Boston is going to 3 pride nights? I meant 4

#pwhl New York did not advertise theirs on social which is a choice #considering it’s at the prudential center #on April 20 but this leads me to believe #that pwhl Montreal also has one and is simply not advertising it #once again I just hope that it’s not on April 20 #for obvious reasons #ny advertised it to their email list so maybe Montreal did the same thing #if you are reading this and on their email list please do let me know #I mean maybe they see it as something to sell tickets (okay…) and they’re already sold out #I still think they should post #speaking of the pwhl coming back did we see that Dempsey is in a wrist cast?#not a fan of that #also someone has two fingers in a splint which I don’t love #it’s in the survivor video #so my question is what is the pwhl Montreal injuries situation like #I assume they’re getting Melodie daoust to sign another 10 day which will cover 4 of the 5 games #simply because she is very good #I also want to see the Stacey poulin daoust top line again #remember the days?#[deleted some tags bc my Apple Watch has a functional battery again]

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kiingbiing · 5 months

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It lives in my head rent free that someone in my insta comments had the utmost confidence to say that British people CANNOT be POC…

Just simply not possible

#talks #it’s a shame they deleted their stuff and it was years ago so I don’t know which post it was under #but I remember going back to look for it only for it to be gone #I kind of miss you racist commenter #being extremely wrong and then fighting other people in the comments believing British people are strictly white #very cute #and I’m talking about colored aziraphale #cause I love to project 💅

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floweryred · 3 months

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Does anyone remember in Minecraft Story Mode S1 E6 where there were a bunch of Minecraft YouTubers in a murder mystery? And (Spoiler alert) CaptainSparkelz died no matter what you did? And it was DanTDM that accidentally killed him? And your choices could kill LDShadowlady or the aforementioned DanTDM? And Stampylongnose was the one who stole the item that started the whole situation? And StacyPlays was there but she did nothing? And there was one random non-YouTuber character who was obviously the murderer bc she was the only non-YouTuber who survived past the scene you met him?

I loved that so much, I used to bully Stampy and kill Lizzie almost every time because they were my favorite YouTubers and I was a weird kid. R.I.P Minecraft Story Mode, I can’t believe you can’t be purchased any more.

(PS: Season 2 sucked fat balls)

#minecraft story mode #I miss this game so much #I don’t have it anymore I deleted it off my iPad out of shame one time and will never have it again #I had a crush on Lukas I think #I think Lukas and Jesse are the only good enemies to lovers arc #in Episode 6 TarqueDawg was so funny I cannot believe they only let him have one scene #I could talk about this one part of this game for hours #hell let me draft a post explaining the whole thing as much as I remember right now #I know this is spoilers but you cannot buy this game anymore #I’m so sad about this fact actually #I want to play it again #but I can’t :(#season 2 did suck balls btw #Radar is the worst character in anything ever #I didn’t even buy the game just watched play throughs and I hated his guts

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crenna · 18 days

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having an ex with a common name is not fun like why do i have to be reminded of them this often

#i’m over said person and don’t even always think about them when i see someone with the same name but still 🥲#lili’s rambles #might delete later? idk i’m rambling a lot tonight #i’m fine i swear this is just a ”lmao okay” kind of post!!#new lili lore dropped?? yes i’ve had my heart broken big time and no we don’t hate my ex it just didn’t work out #the way i related to evangeline’s hope more before this all went down and i miss the person i was back then!!#but i’m slowly finding my way back and the courage to believe i’ll find true love again 💕💖

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bilestat · 2 months

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I wish chewing gum were fucking illegal

#sorry to the gum lovers but you make my life hell on earth and I am SICK OF IT #every day I wish people could learn to chew with their mouths closed #I will never forget the time I made a vent post on fb in college because my misophonia was being triggered #LITERALLY EVERY FUCKING DAY FOR HOURS AT A TIME #saying there was a special place in hell for people who chew with their mouths open #and this person I was friends with for a bit bitched at me and was like #I don’t think it’s right to wish hell upon people for that.#GIRL I DON’T EVEN BELIEVE IN HELL. WAY TO HAVE ZERO SYMPATHY FOR ME LMFAO #like imagine seeing someone you’re supposedly friends with clearly in distress and being like 🖐️🤓 I’m going to play devil’s advocate and al #call you a bad person #bitch. it’s been years and I’m still mad about that and I always will be #anyway. I am not made for the world. I am not made to deal with people at large. my brain is literally wired wrong and I suffer genuinely #every day of my life because of it #idk why I’m surprised because even people I’ve been close to have triggered me on purpose or lied to my face about making noises that #trigger me while literally doing it or had little sympathy for me or have acted like I exaggerate it #wish y’all could take it from me for a single minute and see what it’s like #misophonia #personal #to be deleted #and chewing is just one trigger sadly I have many others 💔💔💔

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arthur-r · 3 months

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my partner broke up with me last night and the first thing my mom asked was if it’s because he wanted to be with a “boy boy”

#anyway i’m so fucking normal. i’m so fucking normal #we’re actually going to still be friends but it’s still kind of shit #because it’s not fun to get broken up with. if you can believe it #he just didn’t like me that way anymore which. to each their own #(i fucking said that out loud he said ‘‘i still like spending time with you i just don’t like holding you anymore’’#and i said ‘‘well to each their own!!’’)#(because i am insane and strange. and because he broke up with me after i took my fucking sleep meds)#but anyway i’m being so normal about it. but my mom calling me to comfort me did not fucking work #when her first question is ‘‘oh it’s because you’re trans right?? cause nobody loves you’’#but whatever. he was SO good at breaking up with me so whatEVER #he was nice about it. and you can’t force somebody to be attracted to you and it’s not like it’s better to be in a doomed relationship #and i’m not here to vent. well like i am a little bit but just about my mom shdhdf #i don’t know. think i’m gonna sleep for a while now maybe!! but text me if you need anything #me. my post. mine.#delete later #friends only #vent cw #transphobia cw #?#like if read

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callisteios · 10 months

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its the dread its the dread its dread its dread its the dread and its real and inside me

#wow #ahahhahahahahhahahah #who posted that #having a little anxious moment #so I’m going to go ahead and say #delete #later #they’ve interviewed me twice she clearly didn’t believe me he’s been told who I am I don’t want this to end the way I think it will #but I don’t think I’ll be wrong

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rishiguro · 11 months

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never thought i‘d be saying this but sometimes i wish people would talk to me

#on whatever u believe or don’t believe in this must be the first signal that i‘m going insane /hj #i can‘t even write rn what do i do i need inspo #watch me delete this post soon #or not idek at this point #₊❏❜ ⋮rins thoughts

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uponlaurels · 1 year

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okay so something crazy is happening rn.

i take my nephew to basketball practice and usually i sit in the car and wait until he’s done, but today i really had to pee so i went in and found out the drama department is doing a play. so now i’m sitting here waiting for the play to start bc why not and guess what? I HEAR THE DRAMA TEACHER SAY “demeter, Persephone are you ready?” LIKE YOOOOO ARE THEY DOING THE PERSEPHONE MYTH???

what a crazy fuckin coincidence

#phichats #if those end up being the kids names im deleting the post #but like how wild is that #i don’t believe in like signs and shit but?????

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optimalmongoose4 · 6 months

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Sisyphus more like pissy piss. sorry that wasn’t good I’ll leave the stage before you all start throwing rotten tomatoes at me

#I don’t believe in the draft function I post everything I think of or delete it forever

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floral-hex · 9 months

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lol as soon as I match with someone on tinder, I delete the app because I’m a scaredy cat and don’t want to go through the mortifying ordeal of being known 😅

#I just wanna kiss!#I don’t want to date or meet someone new!#I want to already know you and have inside jokes and already feel comfortable around you!#very realistic #girl looked really cute so I’ll try to focus on feeling flattered than feeling shitty that I chickened out #I’m just a silly lil guy who can’t talk to strangers to save his life I don’t know what to tell ya 🤷🏻‍♂️#this is the last post about it I promise #deleted the account. deleted the app.#my life is just… ugh such a mess that I really just… I can’t go and do much of anything #my profile basically said I just want to get late-night slushees and make-out and that’s literally about all I can do at this point 😬#which sounded good but I realized I don’t want to do small talk about my shitty life and feel like I’m convincing them I’m worth their time #even if it’s just a few hours of awkward groping and messy kissing I want them to actually want me #aaaand I just can’t reconcile that maybe someone actually might want me. at least not some stranger who only knows me from a few pictures #I have such a hard time believing I’m worth all the trouble #it’ll be okay 😬#a little yearning is good for you #which must mean a lotta yearning is great!#blegh #dating apps suck #meeting anyone in general sucks #everything just sucks #or it doesn’t and I’m just being shitty…#you can ignore this #take it sleazy #text

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rovercat · 1 year

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(rant about veganism so scroll if you don’t care)

im not even vegan anymore, i eat meat fish dairy eggs etc. But I still think the anti vegan posts on this website are so stupid. It’s always some post with a stupid response from a vegan person, and then 20 thousandreblogs acting as if that one person represents all vegans ever. Majority of vegan people literally do not care if you’re vegan or not. I started eating animal products again after 5 years and none of my vegan friends gave a shit. Also the arguments people use can literally be debunked with one google search? Vegans are not the reason crops are being grown on land in poorer countries and shipped out. Majority of the time those crops are being grown and shipped out to other countries to feed LIVESTOCK. And most vegans don’t care about people eating eggs from chickens they have in their back garden, they care about the mass production of eggs / mass slaughter of animals in slaughter houses etc. Idk i think people are just wilfully stupid when it comes to veganism. Obviously there are healthy and environmentally friendly ways to consume meat, and cultures where people respect and hunt animals. Obviously there are people who don’t want to be/ can’t be vegan for various reasons. But that doesn’t change the fact that a lot of us do not hunt our own meat, we get it from shops and restaurants who got it from slaughterhouses 😭 it’s really annoying man, and like I said I haven’t been vegan for a few years now

#also it’s always people being like ‘what about people who have health issues or people who are poor or people who have allergies etc etc’#like yeah? if you don’t have the time or energy or desire to be vegan then DONT #literally no one is forcing you #believe it or not the majority of people are actually not vegan #you have basically the rest of society on your side #and if someone is shaming you for that that’s a problem with them being a judgemental dickhead #not a problem with them being vegan??#and from the posts I’ve seen i don’t think it’s vegans who have the monopoly over being judgemental dickheads 😭#also im aware this post is really annoying and rambling lol ill probably delete it in a bit

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rolling-harbinger · 2 years

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I know it’ll happen, and there’s no getting out of it, and everyone wants this but.. I don’t want Hunter to lose his eye bags :( I know they should because it’s important to show, and it’ll be really good for a character like Hunter, buts that’s one of my favorite design aspects of his character. I love that he has these really bad eye bags to show how sleep deprived he is and his general bad health. And I just feel like he’ll look weird without them. I just think they look unique, and I’m gonna be kinda sad when they’re gone. And also I don’t think they could just be gotten rid of so easily. I mean yeah, I want him to actually get sleep and live healthier, cause it’s important and all that junk, but at what cost :(

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