#i don’t fucking get it but ig there’s nothing to get bc they’re probably the stupidest pieces of shit ever & will never think they’re
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driving got me feeling a Certain Way .
#i feel like im going insane like .#the number of ppl that just straight up have their whole ass phone right in front of their face is INSANE#like u know ur going to get someone killed right ?? RIGHT ?????#best case they’re causing unnecessary traffic which is also fucking infuriating like U CAN FUCKING WAIT TO SEND A TEXT. U CAN WAIT.#& it seems like running stop signs & red lights is becoming more regular like .#like . u know that’s gonna get YOU killed one day right???? ur gonna run a fucking stop & another idiot is also gonna run that same stop#& ur both hopefully going to die so therere less of you out here driving like fucjing assholes#i don’t fucking get it but ig there’s nothing to get bc they’re probably the stupidest pieces of shit ever & will never think they’re#in the wrong .#@everyone who does any or all of the above pls kill urself immediately i am so serious#while we’re on the topic they should put a brick wall at the end of lanes thatre about to end#if ur not going to fucking merge before the lane ends then ur not merging at all asshole#it’s ur responsibility to find a spot to merge in#it is not my job to make sure that the lil baby drivers have space to merge in a mile AFTER the fucking lane ends#don’t let me catch u out in the streets being a bitch bc i’m at my wits end .
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every day i set expectations and every day i’m reminded why i told myself not to do that
#feelings past 4 pm aren’t real anyways#it’s fine#my parents: tells me a gift is one thing#me: oh ok! cool!#me then actually trying to use it and realizing it is in fact nothing like they said: oh#was it a mistake? probably.#does it fall a little too neatly into a pattern of my parents simply forgetting or messing up things for/to do with me?#absolutely :)#just once i would like to go one holiday without being reminded that my parents actually don’t pay that much attention to ne#that would be nice#they’re getting better at least#my mom is starting to remember what kind of foods i at least don’t like#wish they’d stop repeatedly asking me things bc they seem to fucking ignore my answer every time but that’s a big ask from them so…#also wish they’d stop implying that the things i mention aren’t worth talking about but that’s an even bigger ask#it’s been a rough holiday season tbh#morbid humor about attempted offing of oneself coming up#my grandpa used to say the holidays were when he got the most ‘bridge jumpers’ as he used to call them (he was a psychiatrist)#and when i went to SC everyone was like ‘huh yeah ig that makes sense kind of wonder why tho’#as i was sitting there for like most of the holiday going#‘god i fucking hate my life’ and being so fucking lonely around ppl who were supposed to be my closest family members#it’s 12:47 happy fucking new year to me#great start to the year tatum crying alone in your bed waiting on texts from two separate people that won’t come#while your parents sleep for another 9 hours before they wake up and start asking passive aggressive questions#while they give you disappointed looks when you say that you are actually trying to rest over your winter break#only to then go to the movies with you best friends who you aren’t actually super close with bc no one you know really does emotional stuff#so then you get to go back home and cry yourself to sleep again (this is literally the third day in a row i’ve done this)#and feel alone despite having ppl who are supposed to love you :))#feelings past 4 pm aren’t real feelings past 4 am aren’t real feelings past 4 pm aren’t real#i think i’m getting depressed again /gen#can you tell?? /s
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in other news i gave my number out for the first time since i’ve been here and umm she kinda reminds me of my ex best friend who i was in love with and was the last person i was ever interested in romantically and we had a super weird falling out after confessing that we liked each other . and this girl seems sweet but like kinda messy which isn’t a bad thing necessarily but like. girl i’ve done this already
#to be clear she has a bf . or a ‘situation’ as she calls it 😭#so it’s not the same. but they’re similar#but like. i’m so fucking picky when it come to people. probably why i have 2 friends#but i don’t see anything wrong with that#but yeah i do want at least somebody to like. get coffee with here or whatever#so i’m gonna see how it goes#but i can’t do messy so i’m ready to dip the second things get weird#but yeah . exciting i suppose#also this is part of what me and my bsf were fighting about yesterday so the whole thing isn’t off to great start 😭#and i didn’t get to talk to him abt my concerns bc we started talking about other stuff#good that we did ! but sigh .#anyways yayyy putting yourself out there :/ im already annoyed and nothings even happened skdhdksjd#sometimes i feel like im not cut out for this like im fine being on my own. until the second im not#so good to have some back up and like . causal people to hang out with#but it usually just stresses me out more than anything and i don’t feel like im getting much out of it#i do intense relationships or not at all#but also. idk how intense i want this to be bc of above messiness. so idk#at least it’s something to do ig
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ok i’ll shut up just one more rant
bcs i need to vent abt this lol 😭😭
idk guys idfk i’m just absolutely fucking exhausted
i was just watching smthing, like smthing completely unrelated, and all of a sudden everything just came back to me, like completely exactly like i was there. which like at this point i’m used to i can typically brush it off, but this was one of the times where it really stuck with me. and then after that when i was jolted back to reality (and after i actually then realized i was just alone and in my bedroom) i was super just like out of it. emotionally i felt no different or safer than before and that was all i could think just that in the moment panic and feeling like ur gasping for a way out but there isn’t one and that just makes it worse and everytime i closed my eyes that’s all i could envision and i could almost feel it it felt like i was feeling it and i was also just like hysterically whispering to myself just stop like nonstop repeatedly the entire time and like idek it was odd. and like i’m used to it it’s not like this is new so i tried i really tried to calm myself down i was sat there for so long but nothing works so i ended up relapsing again after like three days but i just don’t know what else to do genuinely like i didn’t fucking prompt that and in the moment it never seems like it’s going to end and u really can’t predict when it is and it’s just everything and it’s horrible i never want to think abt it again it makes me want to fucking throw up and it’s so lonely idek why and it feels like i’m suffocating or not even that really it feels like i’m like inhaling water or smthing and i need to find some other way to pour ur out of me so i can breathe again
but anyways idk that’s not even really a noteable experience but also it was also so much worse this time bcs of my sensory issues being sm worse than normal today for wtvr reason and also my routine has been disrupted multiple times today so like today hasn’t even be bad itself but i’ve just been barely holding myself together anyways bcs of those things. i hate saying that though bcs like just in general i hate talking abt stuff related to autism bcs like that just affects so much of my daily life that i just don’t talk abt to the extent that if i were to mention it more casually i always feel like ppl r going to either think i’m for some reason like faking it bcs i seem ‘more autistic’ or they’re just going to think i’m just weird or smthing along those lines so i just don’t. but it gets to tiring bcs in addition to the shit that i need to deal with anyways i also need to spend effort trying to mask it and then that’s just making the issues worse which makes masking harder which makes the issues worse and i have like one and a half ppl i feel comfortable being a bit more myself around and that’s bcs one of them seems to like personally understand it and the other i do to an extent just bcs i do trust them a lot. but like how am i supposed to explain that like literally today i was going to hang out with my friends and i was excited for it but something came up where i wouldn’t be able to have a routine so then i had to just not go at all but like how do i even explain that like idek why exactly i’m like that myself or how do i explain that yea i have no clue what u just said bcs the lights r too bright so now i’ve just lost the ability to make sense of english when i can barely speak. idk guys tbh i forget where i was even going with this i’m probably just fucking complaining
i just want to feel normal though i hate feeling like this i hate being so dramatic that somehow the thing mentioned at first just randomly happens and i hate feeling so different from almost everyone and i hate feeling like i have nothing else to do and i just fucking hate myself ig
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baby! congrats on your raise, you soooo deserve it! and probably moving to LA is such a big deal too! there’s nothing quite like a nap in your childhood bedroom! i just woke up from one bc i visit my mom every weekend and decided to stay here one more day😂
idk if i ever told you that the black kitty’s building took my offering of the spay appointment, but they did. and we took her and she was already spayed😭 so yeah, it seems someone either tnr’d her and didn’t ask for an eartip cut or she was actually abandoned. which sucks fr, im glad she was spayed and everything (since they had to open her up to confirm, we told them to make the eartip cut). but it kinda sucks that she didn’t have the eartip bc we could’ve used that spay for another tnr case that was brought to us afterwards😪 but im still glad that we took her in and got her eartip done so nobody else tries to spay her again😂
and i love hearing about people converting their bfs to kpop. i saw this vid yesterday and asked my bf to rank his faves based on this: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLL8EEyf/
and he completely changed his answers from what i expected😭 he said, in no particular order (bc he just wouldn’t rank them): minho from shinee, mingi from ateez, san from ateez and bambam (who is the only one that didn’t surprise me). and i asked him about his other faves like jimin, taemin, changbin, i.n, scoups and bangchan (yeah he got a lot of biases😭). and he was like “they’re in a different category, i love them.” 😭😭😭
i would’ve loved a whole presentation but i think he’s even too indecisive to commit to a permanent list😂
and also your friend is so real for his felix gifts! that’s too freaking cute. pls life bless me with an irl like him🙏🏻 i only have one friend that likes kpop and she isn’t into skz so i get my kpop full from social media and/or yapping to my bf about it😂
ily baby🫶🏻 i hope you have an excellent week💜
-🐈⬛
THANK U BABYYYY I AM SOOO STOKED 🫶 LA definitely isn’t confirmed yet but my sister lives in SoCal and my parents want to move there eventually so they’re like why don’t you just go there too?? And now I am seriously considering it bc I don’t want to be away from any of them! Nothing set in stone just yet but I will keep you posted 👼 PLEASE I visit my parents every weekend too and usually we just watch a movie or something but sometimes I have to ask if I can just nap there bc naps in your childhood home hit SOOO DIFFERENT…..
Also NOOOOO I can’t believe she was already spayed! And they didn’t bother to cut the ear tip! ☹️ that’s so unfortunate that it could’ve been used on another kitty BUT I’m glad at least she is spayed so she’s not out there having a million babies and shortening her life span. Thank you for caring for her regardless, I’m so glad to have an anon who cares for kitties the same amount that I do LOL I could listen to stories of cats all day 🥹🫶
HELPPP THAT IS SOOOO FUCKING FUNNTTTNRJKJE also the Kai rover edit is SO REAL…… the fucking things I would let him do to me 😦😦😦😦 my friend has become SO OBSESSED with Felix (probably because I post about him nonstop on my ig stories) and he sends me Felix content all the time now 😭 he and his girlfriend texted me earlier today and said they’re heading into town this weekend to their closest kpop store to look for Felix stuff for my Felix shrine™️ LIKE THEY ARE THE FUCKING BEST PEOPLE I KNOW ACTUALLY…… these texts he sent me just this week totally geeking about felix 😭 the second one was literally an hour ago like he catches Felix’s posts before even I do 😭 I love him so much I’m so lucky to have a friend like him
I LOVE U BABY ANGELLLL have the best week ever!!!! 💓💕💓🩷👼🫶
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ok i’ll ask. it you need to answer all of them
0: Height
1: Virgin?
2: Shoe size
3: Do you smoke?
4: Do you drink?
5: Do you take drugs?
6: Age you get mistaken for
7: Have tattoos?
8: Want any tattoos?
9: Got any piercings?
10: Want any piercings?
11: Best friend?
12: Relationship status
13: Biggest turn ons
14: Biggest turn offs
15: Favorite movie
16: I’ll love you if
17: Someone you miss
18: Most traumatic experience
19: A fact about your personality
20: What I hate most about myself
21: What I love most about myself
22: What I want to be when I get older
23: My relationship with my sibling(s)
24: My relationship with my parent(s)
25: My idea of a perfect date
26: My biggest pet peeves
27: A description of the girl/boy I like
28: A description of the person I dislike the most
29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend
30: What I hate the most about work/school
31: What your last text message says
32: What words upset me the most
33: What words make me feel the best about myself
34: What I find attractive in women
35: What I find attractive in men
36: Where I would like to live
37: One of my insecurities
38: My childhood career choice
39: My favorite ice cream flavor
40: Who wish I could be
41: Where I want to be right now
42: The last thing I ate
43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately
44: A random fact about anything
I need to know who asked me this. WHY WOULD YOU-
okay fine.
0: 5’2 (no don’t make fun of me, looking at you @aylin-hijabi)
1: I’m 14. Yes I’m a virgin.
2: I think it’s a 6? Idk
3: no I’m 14
4: no I’m 14, again.
5: no.
6: answered! it’s under the tag #loife answers
7: no
8: answered!
9: yep! just one pair of piercings tho
10: answered!
11: my bestest friend in the world is from third grade! she’s in us and I’m in India but the fact we haven’t broken apart-
we only had third and fourth together but we’re still best friends and I love her sm
12: single, but I hope that gets changed by one specific dude
13: uhhhhh pass bc idk I’m just a innocent teenager (kay maybe not that innocent)
14: pass again
15: answered!
16: answered (by accident)
17: answered again
18: pass
19: I despise loud noises so much
20: answered
21: I like that I can speak to a public audience well. It’s really improved from last year, and my friend said it sounds like I know what I’m talking about. And it’s funny she gave the example of this one time I talked really good about a topic (I only had 2 mins to think about it) and I didn’t know what I was talking about honestly. So yeah, that’s great ig.
22: answered
23: it’s amazing actually. I think it’s because we’re seven years apart, so there’s nothing really to fight over, just some things to talk about.
24: answered
25: answered
26: when people make a mess and don’t clean it up properly. Like just sweeping it to the side.
27: answered
28: answered
29: answered
30: that they think they’re encouraging us but they put us down a lot. Like, “ I thought you were better than this” they think it encourages us to better, but it makes us feel ashamed. Mental health, down the drain. Especially to teenagers.
31: it literally says. ‘lmfao. what the fuck’ (it’s from lemon dude guys)
32: the word ‘useless’
nothings useless, you’re just not using it properly. No one’s useless, they have their things they’re good at that you’re neglecting
33: answered
34: I’m not interested in women (I don’t think-) but probably confidence and extrovertism.
35: how thoughtful and attentive they are
36: around North Carolina, New Jersey or Georgia
37: answered
38: I wanted to be a teacher lmao
39: chocolate. Yeah, I’m basic
40: answered
41: answered (I’m pretty sure)
42: chocolate :D
43: uhhh. pass. I don’t find lemon dude sexy, I don’t think lmao
44: FINALLY THE LAST ONE! I THINK IVE ANSWERED THIS :D
all my answered questions are under the tag #loife answers !
anyways. time for me to kill the person who asked this /j
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GETTING TO KNOW JIHAN AND HUE
tagging @calicojackofficial & @an-elegant-void bc they fuel me tm
this is gonna be long but a bunch of questions about jihan & hue’s relationship i’ve answered and compiled here! feel free to ask me more or just sop it up like a sponge lmaooo
1. Describe their first date.
jihan asked hue out after probably 6 months of dancing around one another once they were formally introduced. they went to a bowling alley, absolutely shouted and screamed and got mad competitive (the whole alley was up in arms about this match lol) and then they left laughing hand in hand. then they went stargazing and hue fell asleep on jihan’s chest and jihan was like wow ig i’m in love PFF.
2. Who wakes up early/Who sleeps in late?
lmao they’re both nocturnal. hue tends to wake up earlier though, usually to help the girls with school. jihan is a sleepy boy :D
3. What was their first impression of each other?
hue was super attracted to jihan off the bat but said absolutely NOTHING lol. jihan also had a bit of a different look back then (slicked back hair that was darker, clean shaven, bit of a punker style, he settled into the look he has now lol.) even jihan licking the blood off his fingers like he was like “ishouldnotfindthisattractiveishouldnotfindthisattractive—”
jihan thought hue was cute but was worried that he was lost or wanted to fight him since he was staring at him so hard lol.
4. Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?
both of them are extremely affectionate with one another i don’t think there’s any hesitation in that regard, but that’s kind of what happens when you’ve been with someone for as long as they have lol. they’re extremely comfortable.
5. Do they argue often? If so, what do they argue about?
they rarely argue. they’ve had a few before, about the kids and just random shit that they both got too proud to apologize for.
6. How do they make up/apologize after an argument?
they usually have in depth convos where they try to pinpoint where the problem was and talk out their sides and apologize once they truly understand where the other person was coming from. then they either go on a date, cuddle, or fuck, depending on the situation lol.
7. How often do they say “I love you”?
not insanely often, though jihan is more likely to say it aloud.
8. What do they love most about the other? Why?
hue loves jihan’s wisdom—for a variety of reasons (some are related to the bedroom LOL). but really, he loves how jihan is patient and observant, and knows. it helps him feel secure in forging his own path by having someone who can support him without having to use words, just understanding.
jihan loves hue’s stability. he never thought he’d be interested in being tied down—and while he’s had loves in the past, he’s never gone and started a fucking family with any of them.
9. What do they dislike most about the other? Why?
neither are dislikes born of malice but hue hates that jihan is immortal and jihan is frustrated when hue tries to shoulder everything on his own instead of letting him share the weight of things weighing on him.
10. Do they share any hobbies or interests? How do these things bring them together?
they share a good chunk of things in common. games, sports, and adrenaline seeking are a big thing for them. but they also kind of picked up on each others hobbies too? hue likes strategy and intellectual things like reading which jihan can be a bit bored to do. but audio books and hue reading to him have definitely gotten him into it, as well as movies and cinema. jihan also didn’t pick up cooking until hue bc there was no reason but the methodical process and plating really strikes his fancy. jihan is a traveler and hue has never been interested in it before him. jihan is also a collector of random facts and experiences and it grows on hue too. he’s also not particularly artistic but jihan is very good (he’s had centuries of practice lol). but doing wine and art events has warmed hue up to it. it helps them learn more about what they each value and how they see the world, but they’re both pretty open to trying new things generally :)
11. How do they feel about nicknames/pet names? If they like them, what pet names do they use? If they hate them, why do they feel that way?
funnily enough neither of them are huge nickname or pet name people. at most hue will call jihan “han” (which is different than everyone else who calls him ji and jihan isn’t fond of anyone aside from hue calling him that lol). whereas, at most, jihan calls hue “babe” but even that alone makes hue’s face get red lol. neither of them hate pet names or anything i just don’t think they think about them. + their names are pretty straightforward so there’s no like Super Obvious ones lol.
12. Do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent?
when they were married, it was pretty easy for them to be separate from each other because the security that they had in each other and their relationship was extremely strong. divorced its really difficult t.
13. How do they keep in contact when they’re apart? Do they write letters, talk on the phone, or simply wait out the time?
usually phone, through texting or calling—the joys of modern tech. they haven’t really been apart much for any extended period of time until the divorce so lol.
14. Do they enjoy PDA, or are they more private with affection?
while its pretty obvious they’re in a relationship together, they don’t really do MUCH pda that’s beyond like, hand holding or pecks on the cheek/chaste kisses in public unless they’re alone. it’s not that they’re private so much as the two of them are rarely alone, be it the kids, hue’s family, friends, crowded public areas etc.
15. What songs remind you of their relationship?
let the predictable sap fest begin
all of me — john legend (a classic)
be — hozier
beautiful soul — jesse mccartney (i had to do it to them)
better love — hozier
better than me — hinder (ouch or whatever lol)
be without you — mary j. blige (OOF)
could it be you — cascada
fall for you — secondhand serenade
gravity — sara bareilles
hate to see your heart break — paramore
here without you — 3 doors down
i’ll be — edwin mccain
iris — the goo goo dolls
16. Would they ever get matching tattoos? If yes, what would these look like?
hue doesn’t like needles so idk if he could be convinced LMAO, but i think jihan has a tattoo for hue already. it’s pretty cheesy, but it’s a minimalist outline of a wolf over his heart. it’s a pretty intimate place to get a tattoo tbh; jihan has tattoos of other people he’s loved (family, friends, past lovers) on him as well, but they aren’t as large or over such a vulnerable spot like that. the love he feels for hue is very… deep lol. if hue were to get over himself and get a tattoo, i think he’d probably get something simple; a circle. jihan has been alive for a long time, and he’ll live for a long time more. to hue it’s like he has no beginning and no ending, but the circle of his arms is where life truly is. sooooo yeah its sappy and jihan would cry about it lol.
21. Do they enjoy domestic life?
A LOT. jihan i think was more surprised by it than hue bc he’s never settled down before.
22. Are they comfortable joking around with each other and being silly/playful?
much of their relationship is built on them being silly and joking with each other lol
25. Do they share a room/house? If so, what does it look like and how does it compliment their personalities?
they used to share a home but jihan moved out recently and has gone back to couch surfing with his friends.
their house looks pretty average on the outside, any standard brick townhome, and on the inside it’s cheerful but dark. you can tell a family and people live there but it’s a lot of dark, warm tones so it’s not hell on either of their senses. there’s a lot of throw pillows and blankets and floor seating for spontaneous cuddle piles and there’s a lot of knick knacks from the girls toys and projects and possessions, to random trinkets they’ve bought for each other etc. it’s not really one person has this style or that style; hue’s never had his own space until he moved out (wolves amiright) and jihan has never had a real Home (at least not for several centuries) so they really built a lot of it together. it speaks volumes to their trust and reliance on one another as well as their teamwork to raise essie and ozzy.
26. What sacrifices do they make for the other?
jihan is actually pretty nomadic; as some of his friends have told hue on several occasions he’s really just a glorified couch surfer. so the fact that he was willing to settle down with hue says a lot about how much he cares about him. he’s usually never enjoyed being stationary lol.
being the breadwinner, hue takes on the brunt of caring for jihan and the girls. it’s not that jihan couldn’t or can’t get a job (he hasn’t had one for a good bit lol) but hue enjoys that he’s able to provide for his family—just seeing them safe and happy is more than enough.
27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?
jihan does a lot of things for hue to ease the load and burden. tying his tie is a really intimate thing for the two of them (i can see a scene where someone tries to tie hue’s tie for him at work and it makes him so uncomfortable his skin crawls lol), jihan also touches his pulse points a lot—his wrists or jugular esp. it’s weird but hue gets it; he’s saying i know where your vulnerable spots are and i will cherish them basically lol.
hue scents jihan a lot especially when they’re cuddling. he’s very physically affectionate with jihan who craves that so any act of him touching him or wrapping his arms around him conveys that feeling.
28. Who’s the better chef? Do they cook for the other?
hue, but they have completely different diets lmao. hue usually cooks for himself and the kiddos while jihan grabs a blood bag if he’s feeling peckish. the only time hue really “feeds” jihan is when they’re in bed or if jihan is feeling particularly hungry. there can never be anyone else around tho bc the biting really arouses hue so they usually fuck after lmao.
29. Describe their nighttime routine.
the two of them are more nocturnal, so it’s moreso their daytime routine than anything. at 5-6am, one of them (usually hue) wakes up to get the girls ready for school; making breakfast, making sure their bags are packed, anything project or homework related has been done, and they’re ready to take on the day. once they’re off to school, whichever parent was up gets back in bed and they sleep/doze/etc until around 3-4pm, when the girls get out of school. usually jihan is more awake at this time and so he’ll help get the girls started on homework and will help hue get ready for work (he always ties hue’s ties lol). around 6 hue heads to work. jihan and the girls stay up having fun and doing other things until bed time. then jihan will usually just vibe and wait for hue to get home lol. usually cleaning, reading, setting stuff up, just real house husband stuff :)
30. What are their respective love languages? Do their love languages work well together?
(i did quizzes for these lmao)
hue is definitely words of affirmation. its not necessarily surprising, in the sense that wolves are dogs 💀 but on a more serious level, jihan is pretty forthcoming with his words. he never says anything he doesn’t mean and hue really values that. he values how jihan always knows exactly what to say to make sure he knows he’s loved, appreciated, heard, seen, and cared for. his second biggest would be quality time or gift giving because he enjoys how jihan thinks of him outside of when they’re together, or how he’s the center of his attention when they are.
unsurprising (to me) for jihan, his biggest love languages are quality time and physical touch. having lived so long physical reminders of the person he’s in love with being there and spending time with him are far more valuable than material gain. every touch, absent minded kiss, hug around the waist, date night, it all means the world to jihan. he just wants to be with hue.
these love languages work very well together imo because the two of them are very good at reading people and reading each other. they are acutely aware of what the other enjoys and a lot of the time their love languages overlap. when they go bowling for instance, jihan is always praising hue and cheering him on, letting him know with words how amazing he is. and jihan is just happy to spend time with hue.
31. Do they often go out on dates? What are these like?
when they were married every sunday was date night because jihan thought it was funny for a vampire to be out on a “holy day” when he should be struck down. old rumors and amusements die hard. they do a lot of things to keep things novel, but they are fond of competitive dates and “playing” so, bowling, arcades, escape rooms, paintball even—all things on the table for them. they love to get a good adrenaline pump going whether it be together or against each other. other times if they decide to go at night its very lowkey and usually a lot of stargazing and talking. if its close to hue’s heat its really straightforward and they book a hotel and have fun there lmaooo.
32. Do either of them drink? If so, who’s the lightweight, and how does their partner care for them?
i’d say that jihan is more affected by alcohol than hue because he doesn’t really have “blood” to absorb some of the affects. but it does take him quite more than a few drinks to get actually drunk lmao. when it comes to caring for him, the first rule of thumb for hue is to not let jihan drink when unsupervised. he can be horribly competitive and loves to get in on the fun when drinking so its easy to get him to drink way more than he should. second thing is, if its already too late and jihan’s drunk a lot, he’s very gentle with him. jihan is already sensitive to a number of things; light, noise, etc. but it sharpens when he’s drunk because in an altered state vampires tend to become more alert and defensive—its just apex predator shit for ya. so he never makes sudden moves, always speaks low and hums soothingly to help keep jihan from being jittery. once they make it to a safe place, hue would help jihan get comfortable and get him a blood bag/snack or just give him a meal from the source to help ebb off the alcohol. then he’d cuddle him bc usually once jihan starts to come down he passes out lmao.
33. How do they flirt? Who’s the worse flirt?
hue is very good at flirting when sufficiently motivated to do so. he’s direct, but he’s sensual about it, and its helped him score many a conquest even outside of jihan. however, jihan’s the one person where he tends to get silly with when he flirts. they know each other too well, so there isn’t always a pressure to be sexy all the time lmao.
jihan isn’t the best flirt, or at least, he puts on that persona. while he’s not naive, he just doesn’t really see the point in beating around the bush “do you want to fuck or not?” yknow? things that could come across as flirtatious are for him just genuine honesty. he never says things he doesn’t mean in a way that he doesn’t mean them lol. so ig in a head to head match to pick up someone, hue would definitely win lmaooo.
34. Do they have any inside jokes?
so many i couldn’t count all of them. and i just made them so idk what they are yet lmaooo.
35. Is their relationship a secret? If so, why?
not at all. their divorce is more of the secret, as not many people know about it lol.
36. How do they feel about having kids? Are they in agreement?
yep! when the witch resurgence program came up, they were approached by the agency responsible for homing young witches and after talking it over with each other, they agreed that this would be good for the child but that they were wanting a real family. in his long life, jihan’s never had that before (for many reasons lol) and hue wants to do everything with jihan. coming from a large family himself, hue is used to having many kiddos around and he loves them. they got esther first, and after a few years, her bio parents actually ended up having another witch child, ozzy, so instead of the girls being separated they adopted ozzy too so the girls could grow up together.
37. Who’s more emotionally sensitive/cries more often?
jihan is more emotionally sensitive, but hue cries more often. he feels a lot and its hard to shut it off.
38. Who’s got a quicker temper?
hue definitely. jihan is super laid back.
39. When and how did they admit that they loved each other? If they haven’t yet, why?
took them about 5 years to actually say the words “i love you” to each other, and the first time they did was at their wedding. they didn’t really plan it that way; both of them tend to show affection more than say it outright, but the timing was actually really good. reduced both of them to tears lol.
40. Do they have any regrets in their relationship?
this divorce LMAO.
41. What would they do if they lost the other?
to say hue would be a mess is an understatement. it also wouldn’t be an understatement to say that the potential for him to die of a broken heart—its what happened to his mother after his father died of a sudden illness. wolves are sensitive and hue knows he is too. esther and ozzy would probably be his only way to keep going, even though its dramatic.
jihan is more realistic. he’s loved and lost a few times in his long life, and he’s used to the inevitability of it. it pains him to think about it, so he doesn’t. but if it were to happen jihan would be a mess for a few years. and by a few i mean, probably a few centuries. whenever he’s loved and lost, he’s been off the rails for awhile before he finally is able to move on and change his appearance. he does carry his hurt with him, but having others to love and friends to lean on does help him cope. but i mean, ngl, he would be more fucked up over hue than anyone else he’s loved.
42. What’s their relationship like with each other’s friends/families?
jihan doesn’t really have family but his friends care about hue and think the two of them are good for each other. especially those who have known jihan for a long time (which he has a few friends that old lol).
hue’s family ADORES jihan they practically begged hue to marry him and were so involved in the wedding that it made hue almost embarrassed. when hue told them about the split they were devastated, and know that something is up because the two of them are yknow. bonded af. so not only will hue have his children’s meddling to deal with but also his family’s in helping them get back together 😂
43. If they picked out outfits for each other, what would they look like?
hue would absolutely put jihan in something fitted. a suit, a tight shirt, well fit pants—anything that hugs his body and his curves he would want to see him in, though good luck getting him to admit to it lmao.
jihan loves seeing hue comfortable. sweaters, shirtless in sweatpants or boxers, his clothes.
its funny how they like the opposites on each other LMAO.
44. Do they cuddle often? Why or why not?
oh very often, esp with the girls. jihan actually isn’t used to such frequent cuddling until hue (he’s never been with a werewolf before) but wolves tend to lay on each other for warmth and comfort. once he got adjusted to it and realized that hue didn’t mind how he was cold, he grew addicted to them lol.
45. How do they support each other? How do they rely on each others support?
jihan is everpresent; essentially he knows when hue is struggling with something but he knows better than to try and push him to tell him things when he’s not ready to, or to try and offer help when hue doesn’t think its needed. it just leads to arguments and unhealthy coping mechanisms. even though it sometimes hurts to just stay beside hue and essentially “not do anything,” hue always assures him that his presence is enough, that him never judging him or forcing him to do things when he isn’t ready is more than enough. hue relies on this ever-presentness extremely heavily; he can’t really imagine doing most things without having the pillar of support that is jihan there.
hue is decisive and forthcoming, which is something really appreciates. because of his age and how he is in general, jihan is a person who sort of “lets whatever happen, happen” and its refreshing to have someone who’s, as he says, “young minded” to want to set about getting change and making his life his own himself. it gives jihan the drive to actually seek things that he wants and to put more effort into things he knows he should do.
46. Do they consider their relationship casual or serious? Is the answer different depending on who you ask? Why?
both of them consider it serious. aside from marriage, they’ve spent nearly 20 years together. jihan doesn’t get into relationships unless they’re serious and jihan is hue’s first meaningful relationship. they know each other like the back of their own hands, their home and comfort is in each other. they’ve built a whole family together lmao. the two of them definitely did not roll up to play around.
47. Do they sleep beside each other? Why or why not?
oh definitely lol. both of them are big cuddlers. and because jihan is cold and hue overheats they easily find temperature equilibrium.
48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?
of course! they even got married lmao—and like had a big ass ceremony and everything lol (hue unsurprisingly has a p big family). the future right now is uncertain until hue can work through either accepting that he’s mortal and he’ll die and it’ll be over with or unless they find another solution.
49. Do they keep secrets from each other?
hue hasn’t told jihan about the mating for life predicament, nor his fears about him finding someone else after he dies and how it tears him apart.
jihan is pretty open about everything in his life but he’s not forthcoming if that makes sense. if someone doesn’t ask, he won’t really tell. but if you ask, depending on how close he is to you, he’ll open up. however, he’s never hidden anything from hue.
50. Would they ever break up? If so, why? Who would handle the breakup better?
well, they’re technically broken up divorced right now—instigated by hue lol. the tl;dr is that hue is starting to get older and he’s starting to get very conscious of his own mortality. even though werewolves/were-creatures do live longer than humans, they pale in comparison to other creatures like vampires. like jihan, who has already lived for 800 years or so. at most, hue will live to be about 200, and the idea of jihan living on after him is painful—hell, even the girls could live longer than him. legends say that powerful witches can learn spells to gain longer life and essie is already showing a lot of promise. so, in a backwards way to save himself the heartbreak he broke things off. the idea of jihan being with anyone else pains him but the idea of being so attached and knowing jihan will find someone else after he dies is even worse (or so he thinks). he knows to a certain extent he’s being selfish, and the feeling is made worse by jihan being still so sweet and loving towards him and the girls. so despite initiating it, hue’s taking it worse than jihan.
jihan is definitely hurt about the break up, made even worse by hue not giving him the Real reason why he broke it off so suddenly, yet, he knows and can tell that hue is hurting more than he is. it gives him solace to not give up on everything or to wallow. he just wishes hue would tell him what was wrong so he can try and help fix it. he wants their family back, him back. but he knows pushing won’t fix it so he’s trying to be patient.
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ok so idk if you already know this but puppy lover on yt recently left their masa channel. truly the end of an era. but in their last video they asked for honest opinions on masa so I’m throwing my two cents to like the only other active masa blog on here hope you don’t mind👉👈 (if you don’t wanna read it just skip) what’s your opinion on mass’s songs lately??
So I really really love the onibi, sister and secret series. And ya I agree with a lot of the comments there— masa’s songs are lacking nowadays. He’s still a great guy, but all his songs sound the exact same (I believe it’s edm??) His old content was more original and actually had better pv’s.
But more than that for me they had better storyline. The onibi series had really deep lore, the sister series had a lot, the secret series had a bit too, and maha was full of it. That being said nowadays all of his songs share the same three themes of dr1nks, dr*gs and s3x. There’s no originality which made onibi such a hit. They’re all parodying off each other.
Also is it just me or is the anatomy on the newer videos a bit…off?? It seems like he’s emphasizing certain parts more than others and it makes the whole thing look a bit disproportionate. Idk if it’s just me, I’m not an expert by any means.
That being said, it’s not like his new content is bad by any means, it’s cool to listen to. And it’s nice. For a couple of times. It’s kinda insipid after that.
tldr masa’s old stuff was better than his new for me, and I miss it a lot. He’s still a good guy and the new music is cool but the onibi, sister and secret series will always have a place in my heart.
i just posted a comment on the video on puppy's channel, so i will copy it here:
i'll be completely honest in my opinion here. masa's stuff has not gotten worse, it has just changed and i still love it and listen to it, and it really disheartens me when people leave bc i feel like im just wandering around in a desert. like where did all the people go :( the community was so bustling in 2016-2019 and it just feels abandoned now.
there are some things i can agree on though. there was a time in 2019-2020 ish where i thought he wasn't living up to his full potential, or he was trying to create new stuff and hadn't gotten it completely down yet. and yes, it's easy to look through the lenses of nostalgia and miss all the lore stuff he used to do - i mean i fucking love the onibi series and all its lore but we probably aren't going to get another blog update for a loooong time.
but the reality is that masa is a different person now than he was in the early 2010s. he started creating music when he was 20 years old, and he's 32 now - that's a huge difference, he's a fully fledged adult now and probably has a lot more things to do and work on than what he used to. that's not even talking about the money aspect! obviously we know next to nothing about his personal life but he either has another job outside of making music or he relies on making these songs to support himself, and neither are conducive to making elaborate PVs or complicated lore (both which i know people revere him for and miss the most). instead he focuses on making the music he wants and PVs that fit his time, which by the way include MUCH higher quality art than in the past. idc what anyone says his anatomy was WAY wonkier back then than it is now.
im rambling, but ig my point is masa's changed, and it's an okay thing. his new EP, INSOMNIA, is really an amazing piece of work and feels kind of like the 'old' masa and i've listened to it many times on repeat, but it's not the same as the masa people became fans of him for. it's okay if you don't like it but i do, and i probably always will. unless he starts making country music or smth ;)
TLDR: i love masa's music even now and understand that his style has become much different than before, and there's many reasons for that.. he holds such a big place in my heart and i will support him thru his endeavors!
#long post#masa works design#vocaloid#ask#IT MAKES ME SO SAD I MISS THE COMMUNITY BUT ALL THE PEOPLE FROM WHEN IT WAS SO LARGE ARE GONE NOW#SOBS#COME BAAAACK
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hoo okay I can already tell this is gonna be long but manga thoughts!! i only read up to roughly 150 I think (Also hi hi I’m off anon! anxiety has been overcome >D<)
quick lil context of me even getting into this also! so my roomie and I have a tradition of watching really bad animes during finals weeks and this time my rookie suggested we watched black butler 2 (still so funny it’s just 2 not season two not book of ___ no. just two. Peak comedy) first half of that was laughably bad and then like ep 7 onward it was frustratingly good. Some bizarre pacing some bizzare writing choices but I liked it overall. anyways over winter break out of nowhere I got manga spoilers on my tiktok for Agni’s death and. It emotionally devastated me bc I loved him sm bc of the like one ep in 2 where he appeared. i told my roomie that and we decided to like actually watch the good parts of the anime so I could get a taste of the actual plot (and eventually we watched s1 lmao)
so yeah that bit didn’t impact me as much when I actually read it but 😭 Agni I miss you dearly you’re like one of the only people I’d trust to hold my drink in this series I KNOW you would take care of it and not spill anything. Also, I read the entire (post campania) manga while procrastinating studying for my organic chemistry exam bc chemistry is a pain in the ass and I didn’t want to look at it
right um. Other arcs. so the school arc has some BIZARRE pacing- (and i never got used to the just casually dropping the F word even if it was used iba like historical context) I was half skimming some of the pages bc I thought it was gonna be basically a fluff filler arc so that end caught me off guard- deffo enjoyed the soma content though! i sure hope he stays happy and nothing awful happens to make him stop smiling! hahah fuck.
Emerald witch arc is kinda funny to me. like yeah, okay queen of England, send this 13 (14?? I forgor) year old child to a different country to deal with werewolves. this isn’t even ur country girly what. Wolf and miss sullivan (can’t spell her first name) r fun characters I like their addition a lot. Could’ve done without the uh. weird scenes with sullivan but. whatever. (The scenes with finny taking care of ciel also were so sweet Omg I will cry- finny is probably one of my top 5 charas I love himmmmm he scares me tho )
that being said I fuckcking RECOGNIZED that shit was chemicals as soon as I saw that circle thing oh my FuckKING GOD. I literally put down my phone and stopped reading for a good while. I’m reading this manga to procrastinate my ochem I did not need it to insert itself like that >:’(((( it was good though I liked the arc a a lot (my roommate fucking burst out laughing when she saw me being angy and asked why.)
Sascha and Walmart will (sorry sir you are just not memorable) were cute! Hope we get more content of them in the future, or just more reaper lore. Please. I’m going insane all I want is lore (Also my roomie had already told me abt the reaper backstory so that didn’t rlly surprise me). Will and grell showing up for like one chapter was funny as hell, you know will was pissed bc that whole convo could’ve totally been an email or a pigeon or whatever. i missed them though so im not complaining
Idk what to call the next arc. the return of the school guys was… funny ig?? i have to be honest I kinda disconnect whenever they appear I just don’t really care for them 😭 the whole band group off was so funny though and the tonal whiplash was something I was NOT prepared for. It wasn’t as jarring as the paving of the school arc but like hWUH THATS A LOT OF PLOT AND BIG REVEALS HAPPENING REALLY FAST NOW-
love othello though. I’m a forensics chemistry major and I love the forensics part of it significantly more than chemistry so seeing a funny guy doing that is so very !!! ya :D also love the dynamic with Grelle. they’re both trans and besties you can’t change my mind- ALSO OTHELLO JUST . THROWING HIS SCYTGE AND THEN BIDING BEHIND GRELLE. Love him. ronnies still my fav dont get me wrong I am endeared with his talk-shit-while-getting-his-ass-beat mentality but othello is very close behind
wish we had more reaper lore . I would kill to know these guys backstories- Ronald and sascha seem so much you her compared to their coworkers it eats at my brain. sascha especially like aaaaaa kid what happened for you to end up here :(? MAN (also I could fight abt the reaper lore for so long. they don’t deserve this. this shits unfair. AGH…
i had more stuff that I wanted to say but forgot. sorry if this isn’t very understandable i just wrote as I thought of things- basically. reapers my beloved . I’m begging for lore please . soma my king I hope you’re okay. when will Ronald come back PLEASE he’s been gone since like campania 😭
BRO ROOMMATE ANON REVEAL!! i hope you dont mind me still using the roommate anon tag,,
agnis death def threw me off. i wasnt expecting yana to kill him off, especially after having him around for so long. that whole scene was very surprising. and yes i agree with you!! hes probably the most wholesome character in black butler next to some others like the phantomhive servants and soma.
i actually quite liked the school arc(and a lot of people in the fandom would agree w me)! but i get how you wouldnt. i personally was only mostly focusing since i just wanted to get back to grelle T^T.
i didnt really like emerald witch at first. i was mad when it had the honor of being the 100th chapter. but its grown on me since(n yeah those scenes were weird..).
i LOOOOVEEE SASCHA!!!!!! THEYRE SO CUTEEEEE X33333 they remind me of my best friend since they both have that same cheery vibe. like little guy is just making the best out of their afterlie and havin some genuine fun. i fw it. grelles outfit was also sooo hot in that chapter gaw dayum. i want a piece of that reaper PLEASE
you can call the return of the school guys the boy band arc. it was weird but i really enjoyed it.
i find it funny how everyone automatically says that othello is trans. one look at the silly science man provokes the Feeling.
trust me man, everyone wants more reaper lore. i am clawing at yanas feet and begging her to tell me what in the ever living fuck happened to grelle in her time as a human. WHAT THE FUCK KINDA LIVES DID THEY LIVE. WHAT DROVE THEM TO SUICIDE.
i understood everything you wrote, dw!! :3 im hoping soma is ok as well </3
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Any HCs on modern AU Achilles dressed and going out as Pyrrha? Do you think it also serves as a kind of kink for Patroclus? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.
Modern AU Pyrrha genderplay…
I have a lot more Iliad/TSoA HCs on this BUT
They are both into genderplay and, yes, it all ties back to Pyrrha.
Achilles is very beautiful and has great hair. His friends, they’re all women, do a lot of shopping, salon, and spa trips. (A lot of people HC Achilles as being friends with the Iliad cast. I don’t. The only people he actually “hung out” with were the handmaidens). He’s not the Gay FriendTM. He participates in their “feminine” activities because why the fuck can’t he (as a typical brat/white male, he doesn’t like the word ‘no’). Aside from regular facials and pedicures, he’ll get makeup done and updo’s and whatnot. Because of his striking looks, pics of him will often be featured on salon IGs. He thinks these beauty treatments make him even more enticing. Pat could not agree more.
((Not really my personal HC, but I think Pyrrha came about in college. There was some sort of Greek rush, local charity event, or “fun gay bar” night out where he ended up dressing in drag. He looked good and enjoyed it. I can also see him dressing up as Paris Hilton for one Halloween as he used her catch phrase, “that’s hot,” ironically and so was dubbed Pyrrha (fire – hot).))
Achilles’ default attire and presentation is Jock masculine, usually with a slutty edge. Some days he includes more feminine pieces (usually accessories like earrings) and a touch of makeup here and there.
Achilles has a fantastic ass, and he knows it. He likes to wear lingerie to show it off. For play, he’ll also wear stockings and/or high heels. This is more of a treat for Pat’s foot fetish. Neither the lingerie nor the high heels are really Pyrrha related. It’s partially part of their genderplay, but mostly just Achilles being his usual GNC-self.
Pyrrha’s cue is really the makeup. If Achilles is wearing makeup, then he’s either getting into Pyrrha headspace or is already there. Makeup does include perfume. He has several fragrances for Pyrrha. (Pat of course finds the scents sensual.) Achilles always uses a falsetto with Pyrrha.
((Not really my personal HC, but I think Pat would be introduced to Pyrrha either on a day when Achilles felt in the mood to wear makeup or a drag/Halloween thing with the girls. It started off, in Pat’s mind, as a silly roleplay gag, but then he found himself to be super turned on, and he got the best bj in his life. Bcs honestly, there is nothing better than glossy red lips wrapped around your cock though ruined makeup on a wrecked face from fucking the life out of her is a close second. And that’s how Pat really got into Pyrrha.))
If it’s a night in, then Pyrrha has her makeup on and maybe some lingerie.
If it’s a night out, Pyrrha will probably wear something more “feminine.” This might be a bodysuit with daring cuts, leggings, heels, or skirts. It varies from a somewhat femme look to full-on drag. Pat is a big fan of skits because it provides easier access 😉 It really all depends on whether they're going to a club or to a nice restaurant.
Pyrrha loves to go out. She loves getting very handsy with Pat and practically hangs off his arm. She loves to work him up and tempt him to put a hand up her skirt or grab her ass. She loves being admired it's one of the reasons she likes to be Phyrrha bcs feminine clothes are so much more revealing and complimentary. She likes to tease the audience. She enjoys the lustful gazes, especially from hypocrites who are transphobic. But she also loves to show off that Pat's her husband. Sorry ladies, he's off the market. Going out is also another way for her to brag and mark her territory.
Pat will address her as Pyrrha and use she/her pronouns. Wife/girlfriend/babygirl will also be heavily used (and good girl, of course 😈). Dirty talk will feature a lot of “pussy” (it’s your pussy, your pussy feels so good, your pussy tastes so good, want me to fill up your pussy, are you wet for me, you like my pussy, this pussy is yours, come in my pussy). It gets them both hot.
Pyrrha is also something of a roleplay persona. Sometimes on date nights they will meet separately at a bar and pretend to be either strangers or meeting for a blind date. It took Pat a bit to work on his improv for this (and in general, it took a while for him to master his dirty talk and flirting technique). The second timed they roleplayed strangers-at-a-bar, a random woman cornered Pyrrha in the hallway to the bathrooms to see if she was okay and if she needed help getting away from “that creep.” Pyrrha thought it was hilarious. Pat, not so much. Besides embarrassing, it made him more self-aware of their behavior when they did their ‘play’ outside the bedroom. Needless to say, Pat has been someone more cautious since.
Pat doesn’t directly ask for Pyrrha or to do some genderplay. On salon days he might ask if he’ll be seeing her later. Achilles usually teases back with a “maybe.” Every so often Pat will see a sexy feminine outfit and picture Pyrrha in it (if it’s in a store sometimes he’ll even buy it). When he gets home he might whisper “I’ve been thinking about your pussy all day” or “I can’t stop thinking about your wet cunt wrapped around my cock.” It usually does the trick.
A favorite roleplay/fantasy of Pat’s is boss/secretary. For a short period of time Pat had a job where the department he was in had a sort of secretary/administrative assistant who was young, pretty, and, most significantly, blond. He often would lock himself in his office and jerk off thinking about Pyrrha being his secretary and how he’d bend her over his desk or make her suck him off while he sat in his office chair. He eventually shared this, and Pyrrha was more than pleased to try it out at home. Once, she even showed up at work to bring him his “lunch” he “forgot” at home. His bj fantasy was certainly fulfilled that day 😉
When they’re out on a real date, Pyrrha will be referred to as “my wife,” but they don’t typically do husband/wife roleplay scenes. Once they did a 1950’s housewife scene (think Mad Men) with a cocktail dress and lots of sexism. It went really well right up to when the breeding kink popped up and suddenly the dirty talk was about getting Pyrrha pregnant. At first she was ready to come just at the thought of being bred, but once she realized that she can’t actually get pregnant she burst into tears. It was a really bad scene. It took several days and a lot of talking to get through it. Poor Pyrrha.
That's all I got for now.
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adding my two cents abt the sunoo situation bc i didn’t wanna bring it up on his bday + i’m an overweight shawty (tw for disordered eating thoughts n stuff like that)
idc if they make those remarks to him in private if sunoo really doesn’t care. we’ll never know unless he says himself which prolly won’t happen lol. but what i do have a problem with is that this is not the first time they’ve made comments abt his weight for the world to see. i see a bunch of ppl being like “well it’s a cultural thing they don’t know better” it’s still inconsiderate. i don’t think the other members should be getting d3ath thr3ats over it but they should know better. they aren’t children, most of them are adults, and should know better.
this whole thing has taken a bit of a toll on me honestly. ever since the sunjay graduation live where jay brought it up, it def rubbed me the wrong way. but the most recent instance did it for me idk why. since then i have been feeling a bit more self conscious and paranoid abt my eating than i did before. i’ve had this problem before but it resurfaced. i’ve been picked on by peers and my family (mostly family) for my body/eating, i hate clothes shopping bc nothing fits and it ruins my day (all my friends are skinny too so when we go in american eagle or smth i just stand there), i can’t eat in front of ppl unless i trust them, it’s an instinct to suck in my stomach when i’m in public, i dread doctors appointments bc they constantly act like i’m so obese i’m gonna die bc i’m 200 pounds and last time i checked. i come home from check ups crying most of the time. i feel like i gain weight with every bite i eat of anything. the scale in my house is dead which is probably for my own good bc i’d be checking every few hours if it wasn’t. i’m not tryna sit here and be like “enha brought my disordered eating back🙄🫵” bc no tf they didn’t it’s not their fault. their words affected me bc of my current situation/past experiences but that can’t be said for everyone. but it’s annoying to see a bunch of ppl being like “everybody’s so overdramatic it’s not that serious” just bc it’s not serious for them.
i still love them all but i’d be lying if i said this didn’t leave a dent in how i see them. if i’m able to see them in concert, i wanna try and lose weight bc damn if sunoo’s fat to them then i’m a fucking cow fr. i already feel ashamed of how i look so what if one of them sees me n thinks i’m fat and nothing else. what if ppl laugh at me. i preordered a manifesto: day one set from weverse and i’m praying i don’t get into the fansign bc i don’t want them to see me. ik it’s a stupid thing for me to say but that’s what social anxiety paired with body image issues does to a mf ig😭. and jay’s one of the main ppl who’s made weight jokes abt sunoo and he’s my second bias, next to sunoo being my ult. like imma be real i teared up writing this a couple times🧎🏻♀️. but seeing someone u admire weightshaming another person u admire, when u urself have been in that position, hurts?? jay’s a huge comfort for me but recently not really. but i never wanna say anything bc i don’t wanna seem dramatic bc at the end of the day they’re just some dudes who don’t know me but idk i’ll probably get dragged for this.
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Tw: heavy vent, topic of suicide, and self harm
I’ve had this in drafts for a few weeks just added on as I felt sad so if it seems jumbled that’s why
Idk how to add the little page break thing on tumblr mobile so if you’re sitting here scrolling for a minute I’m genuinely so sorry
So every winter my depression gets extremely bad as it does with most people so it’s no shocker that I’ve been in a slump for the past month but it’s bad this time the last time I could remember it being this bad was when I went through with my first attempt in 7th grade and I’m ngl I’ve heavily been thinking about trying to make another attempt on my life I don’t only for my younger siblings I can’t handle the thought of them walking in on my dead body which they inevitably would (my brother wakes me up every morning) and everytime I think about this scenario I start spiraling it’s hell but yeah not gonna kill my self ig. I’ve been using quite literally all my strength not to relapse and start self harming again I’ve been clean since November and I’m really trying to break the addiction but it’s so hard and I don’t really have any other coping mechanisms. In all honesty tho the real reason I don’t go back to cutting is bc I threw away what I was using to do it and I have like actual knives but I’m scared of going to deep (kinda ironic ig). So I’ve had a group of friends since last February (feb 2022) there’s been 3 main people with others along as well I don’t feel like going into our whole history but a cliff note version of it is we started hanging out in feb in may I started dating person B in July I broke it off with B and ever since it’s basically been me vs B (the others occasionally joining me) well I started talking to B in November after not talking to him for 2 months and shit was great it was basically how it was back before we got together he even got me a shiny Pokémon for my birthday (which means a lot to me) but practically since it’s been new year’s he went back to how he was in September (when we first stopped talking) just an asshole we obviously were annoyed by each other then we got in a “fight” so we stopped talking again anyways so that was Sunday I didn’t have school Monday but Tuesday and Wednesday he’s still been hanging around my group which is fine they’re his friends to but like I hate it bc they’re not talking to me pretty much at all throughout the day bc the only time I see person A and C person B is also there… it feels like he’s stealing my friends from me even my moirail (person A) is hanging out with him more and they don’t even like him so I feel left out completely I feel invisible and alone but not alone bc when I was alone it didn’t even feel this painful I just sit there in silence tears in my eyes but not letting them fall I stare off into space with one AirPod in trying to now ignore the outside world making little stories in my head with my f/os but in reality I just want my moirail to hug me and let me know everything’s alright and that I’m not losing anyone and that if I were to kill myself they would care they would be upset by it stuff like that but no nothing. I haven’t been able to do any school work bc of my mental state even if I take my meds (adhd meds I should probably clarify) which is weird bc my meds always keep me on track but not now ig fuck for example I have like 6 algebra assignments that become 0s tomorrow and I frankly just don’t care. When people I know tell me they don’t have tiktok i always laugh at them like c’mon it’s not that bad but it is it is that bad for example I posted a few videos of my face today and I got tons of comments fat shamming(which really helps my eating disorder but whatever),being called poor, and genuine trans + homophobia I have some pretty tough skin when it comes to these comments usually but if you haven’t noticed I’m a single problem away from violently killing myself so these comments got so bad that I had to private my account which in my 8-9 years on the internet i have never had to do. I think that’s it idk.
Oh there is actually one more thing I want to mention this happened months ago but has been pissing me off since so to put this lightly I had a dream where Murdoc from Gorillaz sexually assaulted me (yes Ik he would never do this but I can’t control my dreams) I have trauma when it comes to stuff like this bc I was sa’d as a child and I’m on the asexual spectrum so I don’t like to think of my f/os in a sexual light anyways I go to vent in my discord server that has all my friends in it looking for support (even though they were all asleep venting then makes me feel better) so I feel really dirty and sad bc again this was a sa related dream I post a kinda detailed version of the dream in #venting channel then Person B starts typing and replies with “nice fanfic” and I wish I fucking screenshoted that bc wtf dude it’s bc he’s never had/really heard about a sa situation i understand that but still why?
Vent Over
if you read this thanks ig it’s just nice to know an another living body knows my problems so I’m not necessarily suffering alone <3
TL;DR I really need a hug ffs
#jester’s venting again 😡#tw#trigger warning#vent#cw vent#depression#this probably seems like stupid teen stuff to a lot of people but to me it is very bad#thank god i have my comfort content#Spotify
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vent cw; ed and more
i feel like im dead. i technically am alive but everything feels dead.
i can’t eat and its hard to drink, i don’t feel hungry or thirsty at all and i feel nothing but sadness 24/7. i can’t sleep, even if i try and i don’t feel tired i just feel exhausted even tho i do fucking nothing at all.
i don’t feel any human needs or feelings i just feel emptiness, sadness and exhaustion all the fucking time.
i also realized that im balls deep in my ed again. like i said i cant eat,drink or sleep which makes it worse. idk if i really cant or if i just dont want to. sometimes i want to eat but i won’t let myself eat for whatever reason. probably bc of my psychotherapist who weighted me. i thought i was skinnier but ig not… i thought i was on the way of being a bit happier with my body, but ig i am not. i thought i alr hit rock bottom a few times and DAMN that was bad but comparing to my situation, thoughts and feelings rn, that was nothing.
THIS is rock bottom. or at least i hope it is because if it gets EVEN FUCKING WORSE THAN THIS i won’t be able to… continue
i want it to stop but idk how and i also dont want to but zhe weight of my mental wellbeing or my ed onto other people bc im extremely fucking scared of ruining their day (this applies only to my bf HAHA i have no other friends) which is basically the next problem.
i have a few ppl around me like julian, kim, elias, alisa and so on and they’re kinda my friends but they’re not friends.
i want someone with the same hobbies and interests as me and not ppl i hang out with once a month or meet to go drinking.
i want someone who i can text every unnecessary thing
i want someone who likes me how i am, who likes my weird sides and someone who is weird with me so i dont feel alone
someone whos always down to do anything at any time
someone who i can call/text when im bored without having to fear that i annoy them
someone where im the first choice and they’re my first choice
someone who ACTUALLY like me and my „emoness“ and who doesn’t think its weird or cringe (music,style n everything)
someone whos always at my place or where im always at their place
someone im never seen without
someone i can vent to without feeling bad
someone who is actually always there for me.
someone who fucking answers me fast and not 2 hours later after i wrote them back in like 10 seconds.
someone who’s the same as me
someone with kinda the same style as me
someone who accepts me for who i am
someone who does everything for and with me
someone real
someone who is not my fucking boyfriend who seems like he doesn’t care at all about me lately.
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I Lie to Myself | Karl Heisenberg HCs
the reader is so glad they became Heisenberg’s assistant, but the light inside of them is dying. anyway, that’s enough of their boring sexy life, let’s talk about you- oh.
Taglist: @prismarts @blixeon @mxcheese
A/n: for some reason this looks better on my blog????? idk, just thought i’d let you know
Headcanons
Ever since you crawled into Heisenberg’s life, you’d been a little bit of a thorn in his side
A cute one!
But a thorn nonetheless
See, the thing is, you confused him
You were a lil enigma
Because you were just
So
Idk, unaffected? By everything around you?
Like
You had to abandon the life you knew before and ended up in the village
Lady D and her kids had almost eaten you which left you a little scarred up, both physically and mentally
Then you’d almost been murdered by both soldats and lycans
Then you’d had a fucking tea party with Donna and Angie, and you watched a couple of rom coms with Moreau, neither of those are bad, they’re just weird
And now you worked as an assistant for scary magneto in his giant factory where he turned corpses into soldiers to fight his not-mom because she sucked
and you just
Walked it off
You were cool with it
You were vibing
And he didn’t get it
You just
Wandered around the factory
Fixing things and cleaning things like this was a normal job
And like, there’s a level where he could ignore it
Like
If you were kinda mopey about it
Or if you were a little jumpy
Or if you were pissed, like
That would make sense
BUT NOPE
YOU FUCKIN TURN ON THE RADIO
WHICH WORKS BECAUSE YOU WILLED IT TO
(there’s no other explanation)
AND YOU JUST DANCE AROUND WHILE CLEANING
Heisenberg is a busy dude, but you are enough to distract him
(it’s bc when you wormed your way into his life, you also wormed your way into his heart)
OH, YEAH
ALSO
what’s even weirder
To Heisenberg, specifically
Is that you make him go to bed at a normal time???
And bring him coffee???
make sure he eats regularly??
Listen to him when he rambles on about his plans and/or that bitch Miranda???
Help him with his plans??
A s k about his plans????????
you generally engage in conversation with him
Basically, you were a decent, positive person who adapted quickly to a new situation and it confused the shit out of poor Karl
Like
This man probably made a conspiracy board about you, red yarn and everything
I don’t know where he put it, but it existed
Anyway
One day
He’s watching you fuckin
Clean up part of the factory after one of the soldats got loose and caused problems
And you notice this time
And you’re like
“What’s up, boss? Need something?”
And he just
Fuckin
“How th’ fuck are you so happy?”
Cue your confusion
Ig it’s contagious
Anyway, before you can say anything he just
“You had your world taken from you. You lost everything, and then you almost died about thirty five times. Aren’t you angry?? Don’t you want, I don’t know, revenge!? Why are you not more-!?”
And you cut him off, as one does
“Distressed?”
“YES!”
And you
Well
Your expression is blank
And that
Is kind of terrifying
Then you walk over to Heisenberg (also scary)
And then
You smile
And it isn’t a genuine smile, it’s a fake, plastic smile
A customer service smile, if you will
And you go
“You wanna know my secret, Heis? I lie to myself. Every morning I wake up, and I’m here, surrounded by things that could end me without a second thought, and I tell myself it’s fine. I tell myself that if I’m nice to everyone, I’ll be left alone, but I am lying.”
You lightly touch one of the scars you got from the hot but murderous vampire milf
You don’t notice that you do this
Heisenberg does
He says nothing, though, and you continue
“Your sister and her daughters tried to eat me. Do you realize how fucked up that is? And now she’s basically my next door neighbor. A-and the lycans! And the soldats! I know you control them, but that- I-”
You stop for a second, once again recalling a painful memory before you continue
“This is killing me inside, very slowly. Every day, I-I tell myself that if I keep up a positive attitude, I will get through this, and every day I believe it, but I am starting to slip, Heisenberg. Look man, the light inside of me is dying, and I can’t leave, so I am trying to make the best of it.”
There’s a moment of silence and then you’re like
“So, do you want tacos for dinner? Because I’m thinking tacos.”
Don’t ask me how you would get the necessary ingredients for tacos, i don’t want to think about it
He ignores the tacos question altogether though, so it doesn’t matter anyway
“Do you want to leave?”
You know those noises that cats make when they’re sleeping and then you pet them?
The “prt” ?
Yeah, you kind of make that noise
Because his question was not about soft tacos
“Huh?”
“Do you want to leave this place? The village?”
And
Answering takes you a second
Because while your answer is actually “yes, please, take me out of here”
There are a lot of things you would miss
The duke is a cool dude
Moreau, Donna and Angie were all pretty chill as long as you weren’t a horror game protagonist
And, of course
Heisenberg.
You’d miss him.
and his voice
and the way he threw himself into his work
and the way he smelled like cigars and leather and metal
and the way he put up with your shenanigans
and how sometimes he got angry on your behalf
and how he just kind of
got you
in a way no one else had
Also, you’d miss the dead body factory
So
Instead of giving him a yes or no answer
You look him in the eye
And you say
“I don’t want to leave you.”
.
.
.
fucking knockout, amirite??
You might as well just fucking kill him, babe
you already shattered his heart into pieces, sooooooo
Anyway
It gets quiet again
Neither of you move
Though, if Heisenberg had had a normal, not-traumatising childhood where he’d learned to express his emotions properly, he probably would have asked if he could hug you
But he doesn’t
Instead you clear your throat and start talking about tacos again
Direct quote, “You’re my friend now. We’re having soft tacos for dinner!”
But yeah
After that
Things are different
You’re both a little shook
but
Heisenberg makes sure you go to bed on time
He brings you coffee or tea or whatever
Makes sure you eat regularly
And generally makes more of an effort to engage in conversation with you
It’s sweet
you notice it
And maybe you have to lie to yourself a little less
Anyway
Heisenberg now knows why you’re so chill, but he has no fucking clue why you’re so nice to him yet
Don’t worry
He’ll figure it out
Eventually
#heisenberg x reader#heisenberg x you#karl heisenberg x you#resident evil 8 x reader#are these really hcs?#idk and i don't care#merry christmas kids#enjoy your metal man#angst#fluff#i need a better way to tag my headcanons#karl heisenberg x reader
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my ultimate guide to thiam fic !!
( as a new teen wolf stan )
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the classic post war, long ass (multi chapter) fic !!with great development that genuinely made me laugh out loud, they have the best friendship in this & i love it very much. ( like theo teaches liam to drive and i just *happy sobs* ) a fundamental in thiam fanfiction !! all stans have probably already read it but if you haven’t this is in fact a threat ,, go show this vv iconic story some love !!
Airplanes - Captainmintyfresh
Summary: After the Anuk-ite and the hunters are dealt with Liam needs a break. Cue Theo and a road trip that Liam should know better than to think will be peaceful.
Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, 43/43 Chapters, Words: 236,875 (236k)
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okay okay so this one is also post 6B !! but ,, now we introduce fighting monroe & the hunters again ,, so we get the boys & a new mission !! so if you like an intresting plot 11/10 would recommend !! just to be clear this ISN’T complete ,, if that turns you off i understand but definitely give this one a read !! it litterally have theo doing crossword puzzles & fighting zombies
Vacancy Signs - LovelyLittleGrim
Summary: Theo and Liam are in Manhattan negotiating a pack allyship when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Now, the two of them have to find their way back to Beacon Hills without getting eaten by zombies or killing one another.
Rated: Explicit, Graphic Description of Violence, Not Completed, 15/17 Chapters, Words: 89,605 (89k)
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Royalty AU !! I REPEAT ROYALTY AU !! a fantastic au where i stan their moms more than i stan them !! genuinely so good at the childhood rivals to lovers trope !! i’m genuinely obsessed with this one. has made me cry more than once ,, hurts in a good way <3 the ending is just *chefs kiss* also one of the tags is genuinely: # theo and liam make bad choices for over 130k straight !! if that doesn’t sound appealing i don’t know what does !!
Artificial Love - songbvrd
Summary: Prince Theo and Prince Liam are forced to spend every Summer together from age five onwards. They hate each other, and usually find ways to make each other miserable as much as possible in their six weeks together. But when they're reunited because of intended unions as adults, things change. They're both supposed to be married to noble women, but neither of them is as interested in anyone else as they are with their childhood rival.
Rated: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, Chapters: 32/32, Words: 172,935 (172k)
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so if you are in the mood for a crack fic that’s not explicitally a crack fic this is for you !! okay so i’m really hit or miss with AU’s ,, sometimes i feel like they don’t quite capture the characters right but this story have the BEST dramatic liam i have ever seen in my life !! basically they all live in the same apartment building & it’s fantastic !! i saw this one floating around a lot but the summary didn’t really unrest me until i have it a shot !! so go read it rn !! also nolan & brett are genuinely fantastic and make me wheeze ,, LIKE ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHING !! all i’m gonna say is that my fav characters are scott & the beetles but that won’t make actual sense until you read it !!
The Neighbors Song - TheodoreR
Summary: “I always hear you singing on your balcony every morning, but suddenly you’ve stopped?”
Or the one where Theo annoys Liam every morning with his awful singing until he doesn’t anymore and Liam is even more annoyed. Liam hates every single thing about his mornings -the fact that they happen in the morning alone is enough. The thing Liam hates the most about his mornings though is the terrible voice of the guy who lives below him. He can’t sing for shit and Liam tried to politely let him understand that by throwing flour and water on his balcony, and also by shouting it to him, you can’t sing for shit!, and then by writing it into a note he proceeded to attach to his door, but this Raeken guy just keeps doing it, every single morning, like a fucking rooster. Liam did nothing to deserve this. He probably didn’t do anything to deserve better either to be fair, he doesn’t expect to open his window and be welcomed by some angelic voice singing him good morning, he’d just be happy with nothing. Silence. That’s something Liam can appreciate in mornings. Just some bark from his dog and the sound of his misery and that’s it. But no, god forbid the new guy lets him have that.
Rated: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Wanrings, Completed, 8/8 Chapters, Words: 42,814 (42k)
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me: i’m not a big fan of AU’s ,, proceeds to talk about ANOTHER au… OKAY BUT THIS ONE !! it’s not complete but the author has been updating regularly ,, vv slow burn !! but in a REALLY intresting way !! i lOVE LIAM IN THIS SO MUCH ,, he is such a diaster of a person and it’s wonderful !! they have a great dynamic & i’m sucker for general puppy pack content ( and erica reyes being a badass ) !! also theo plays lacrosse in this & i really like it ahhhhh ,, also liam is just being an artic monkeys stan the whole time & theo is like *que confused repressed gay noises*
Inglorious Roommates - honeyscape
Summary: A roommate is defined as “a person with whom one shares a room.”
Theo would say a roommate was more along the lines of, “The person who's the bane of his existence. The weirdo that sleeps for days. The spaz that exercises at 3am. The guy with a revolving door of annoying friends. An insufferable human being that Theo has no control over living in his room.”
Example: Theo hates his roommate Liam.
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okay okay i hate myself but i have another WIP for y’all !! this one is jUST FANTASTIC. i’m genuinely so upset it’s most likely not going to updated again *incoherent screaming ensues*. for this story ,, it’s very theo-centric bUT thats bc it ends right before liam becomes a concrete member of the story !! ANYWAY: basic plot = theo & acquiring not one but two children ,, so #dad theo but he is still crusty & homeless and i love him very much. it’s just so GOOD !! just read if you want to experience my fav theo coming out story & him etching high school musical
Look who's talking - Captainmintyfresh
Summary: Theo had been labeled many things in his life. Evil, failure, monster. He'd never thought Father would be one of those things but as he looked across the table to a six year old with blue smears of bubble gum icecream across her face trying to coax the first words out of her sister. Finger jabbing towards Theo's face as she repeated 'Daddy' again and again he couldn't bring himself to dispute the label.
(Theo accidentally adopts two young werewolves)
Not Rated, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Not Completed, Chapters: 16/?, Words: 48740 ( 48k )
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so here me out: post-canon ( poetry like angst ) summer get away !! just the boys doing cute little domestic things together whilst pining !! theo’s guilt in this is just so powerful & aGjffkgkkfkvkdlv !! i think it’s so interesting to see how they interact in this one, it’s just very heart warming !! and it features one of my favorite niche teen wolf tropes of theo being great with like seven year old girls- it’s just so good ,, very much a wonderful little one shot that just makes your heart happy.
(next time i see you you'll show me) a hundred different ways to say the same things - cherrysprite
Summary: “...You deserve good things,” Liam says eventually. He makes sure not to look at Theo even though he can feel his eyes turn on him. Somehow he can already tell that Theo doesn’t believe him.
Liam instantly makes that the goal of this summer - making Theo believe him.
Rating: Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 28875 ( 28k )
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okay so this next section of fic recs is a bit different !!
two of my favorite authors !! and a compilation of fics i’ve read by them both !!
for context: these two have written some genuinely gorgeous fics, like pure poetry, they explore the real gritty & scary side of our boys relationship in such a wonderful way. they’ve both used some of my favorite tropes & i love them very much !!
whenever i need something soothing but so genuinely intresting & enticing these are my go to !! ( also they both write a lot of good nolan angst & some vv good fics with hayden )
go check out:
eneiryu
as well as fallingforboys
here are some of my favorite fics by them ~
darling i want you here in my arms (kiss the pain away, i know you can) - fallingforboys
even before you touched me, i belonged to you (all you had to do was look at me) - fallingforboys
memories linger like tattoo scars (but your touch on my skin is just as permanent) - fallingforboys
skin, bones, a stolen heart, and an ugly creature lurking underneath -fallingforboys
i don't know how to breathe in the place i called home - fallingforboys
whisper your gossamer truths into the shadow, maybe you'll find the answers you're searching for - fallingforboys
between the mountains and the valley we built a monument to our regret - eneiryu
cracked the hinges of the cage and waited for you - eneiryu
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okay and finally: since i am a self centered whore
my own fic: an rendition of the # elevator scene
it’s basically my version of post canon if we did get the kiss in the elevator. we got a classic liam pov in which he is has 12/10 for extreme bi diaster energy even whilst being shot at !! so go him ig…
Fuck Off, Fuck This & Fuck It! - nefelibata_peach
Summary: Liam thought to himself heart rate climbing, they were bound to be dead by morning. So he thought with everything but his brain and he kissed him.
Where Liam Dunbar is very confused, slightly traumatized, and just a bit scared but hey, aren't they all! Bad decisions ensue as two boys fight in a war they never did sign up for.
Rating: Teen and Up, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 3558 ( 3k )
#this took me so long#please go read these or i’ll cry#fan fiction#fan fic recs#teen wolf fic recs#thiam fanfiction#thiam fic recs#thiam#theo raeken#liam dunbar#theo x liam#teen wolf fandom#teen wolf gay#teen wolf#ao3#fuck you fuck this & fuck it#thiam fanfic rec#thiam fanfic#thiam is endgame
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making out hcs
characters: osamu dazai, ranpo edogawa, chuuya nakahara
genre: suggestive
warnings: gn reader, no pronouns used, uhm 🧍 yk it gets a lil steamy and has like mentions of sex ??? but theres def nothing super explicit
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↬making out with dazai is always ............ interesting to say the least 🧐 it can happen anywhere, at anytime, and you'll never know until it's too late
↬sometimes it'll start out as a quick peck, and then another, and another, and— hey, is it just you or does each kiss keep getting longer 🤨 when did he slip your coat off ??-?_;?? now his arms r around your waist and .............. o look at that he's got you pressed up against the wall with u gasping for air bc he's barely giving you anytime to breathe
↬speaking of, his kisses always leave u breathless 🧎 he is such a good kisser please lord i just know it 🛐🛐
↬he usually just leaves after these types of makeout sessions (much to your annoyance) 💀💀💀 he likes getting you all worked up and then going right back to work like he didnt just have his tongue down your throat and his leg between ur thighs
↬other times his kisses r slower n more passionate from the get-go and u know exactly where this is ab to lead (these types of make out sessions will often lead to sex tbh, they're always really sensual and smooth and he has no intent of leaving u all high n dry)
↬personally he prefers kissing w (a lot of) tongue, but if ur not into it, he'll understand and "do his best" to take that into account (but dont be surprised if you end up w his tongue in your mouth either way 💀 if you like it ? fantastic 😚💖 if you dont ?? he loves seeing u squeal in disgust and try to push him away in surprise LMFAO)
↬he always somehow tastes like sake with a little bit of mint ?;?_(&?$-_??$&? dont ask me how but he does 🤨🚶 that being said he tastes better than you'd expect and kissing him is a magical experience 🤤
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↬ranpo's kisses r sweet like candy
↬jk but he does taste like candy so ig that wasnt an entirely inaccurate statement 😚😚
↬he isn't usually one to initiate the kiss tbh, he prefers when you do it LMAO 💀 but whenever he does, they're most likely to be a quick peck to your lips or cheek (he isn't really a fan of any kinds of pda bc he actually gets embarrassed rlly easily)
↬behind closed doors, however, is a different story 🚶🧑🦯 hes a lil more likely to initiate the kiss and whenever he does ............ o lord 🧎🧎🧎 theyre fs a reflection of him
↬ranpo's kisses r very fun and airy, !! and out of these three men here, he's the most likely to laugh and smile and giggle in between kisses
↬making out with him is an experience given to you from the gods PLEASSSKEEEE and it's never awkward bc if sth happens you'll both just laugh ab it and carry on
↬usually makeout sessions start bc u gave him a kiss, but he was feeling clingy (not that he'd ever admit it 💀💀💀) so he pulled you back in for another, and another, and another, and hey look at that, you've been kissing him for the past 15 minutes and now ur both gasping for breath
↬doesn't really mind tongue, enjoys it even 🧏 and when he tastes so sweet, how could you refuse him 🧐❓
↬OH MY GOD HIS FAVOURITE THING IS WHEN let me turn off caps okay his favourite thing is when he's eating his candies or whatever (probably like hard candy tho yk so you cant just bite into that shit immiediately it has to sit and melt a lil idk) and u ask him what flavour it is and he'll pull you into a kiss and let you taste for yourself and take a guess (dont be surprised if you actually end up w the candy afterwards, he doesnt mind sharing so long as it's with you <33)
↬RANPO MAKE OUT WITH ME CHALLENGE ;!_(&!-??&!:?:!&(:!:!_!&;
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↬chuuya's kisses r nothing short of rough and passionate
↬his kisses also tend to be v rushed and sloppy however that doesn't mean they're not enjoyable
↬i'd dare call him the middle ground between dazai and ranpo 🤨🧐 kisses aren't like every five minutes (dazai im lookin at you 🤨), but rather spaced out throughout the day as to keep you satisfied
↬once again ............. he is a tongue man. he tastes like a fine (slightly sweet?) red wine nine times out of ten (the other one time he just tasted like straight fuckin mint ??? 😭💀 like ur eyes started watering after and he got really concerned like "babe r u ok 😟” and you were like "yeah but y THE FUCK is your breath so minty" 💀💀)
↬i am so sorry everyone here likes tongue, i'll make more hcs like these feat. mfs who don't like it LMAOO
↬he understands if ur not a fan of tongue, so unlike SOMEONE, he'll actually take your personal preference into account and do his absolute best to keep his tongue to himself 🤒🤒
↬ok so similar to ranpo, chuuya loves sharing his wine w you — thru making out kissing ofc 🧎 never passes up an opportunity to take a (rather large) swig and let it pass between your parted lips (might get a lil carried away and slip u a lil tongue but yk it is what it is 🧑🦯🧑🦯🧑🦯)
↬he actually has a tendency to get carried away regardless tbh 😚 it starts out as jus like a short lil kiss but yk ............ u come back in for another ............... and another — is anyone else seeing a pattern here 🧐🤨❓ these three men r the best kissers in bsd and i do NOT take criticism — and oops, now ur sitting on his desk with him standing in between ur legs as he starts trailing kisses down your neck before he suddenly remembers he still has work to do and he tells you he promises he'll finish what he started later (and oh boy was it worth the wait 😩😩😫🤤🤞)
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#osamu dazai#dazai x reader#osamu dazai x reader#chuuya nakahara#chuuya x reader#edogawa ranpo#ranpo edogawa#ranpo x reader#bsd x reader#city.journalist#gn.reader
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