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twiistedgalaxies · 3 years

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Cuck for One Uses Tinder

"All for One, infamous boogeyman of the underworld, felt his non-existent eye twitch as one of his minions slid a stack of forums onto his desk. They were divorce papers. In a matter of moments, said minion became a red smear on the office wall. He had broken out of Tartarus for this nonsense? Seriously??"

A/N: I'm sorry, I don't have any excuse for this. I woke up in the middle of the night with the plot idea for this fic and thus this monstrosity was born. Bone Apple Teeth.

All for One, infamous boogeyman of the underworld, felt his non-existent eye twitch as one of his minions slid a stack of forums onto his desk. They were divorce papers. In a matter of moments, said minion became a red smear on the office wall. He had broken out of Tartarus for this nonsense? Seriously?? Made even worse was the fact that, with the aid of search, he found that All Might, kami damn him, and his now ex-wife were constantly spending time together. He had half a mind to head to the apartment complex that he owned and paid for and reclaim what was his.

“Sensei?” A familiar, raspy voice spoke up behind him and he felt the onset of a stress induced headache. The brat was meant to be his successor and potential replacement body. Unfortunately, those damn heroes had broken into the hospital before he could be fully developed, and All for One had to fish the young man out of a decayed crater the size of several city blocks before he could be thrown in Tartarus in a cell next to him. He wanted eventual retirement, and has had his plans foiled at every turn.

“Yes Shigaraki?” he replied, standing up from his chair.

“What happened? I underwent the operation one minute and the next thing I knew-”

“Ah, that. You were awakened several months before you were meant to. That’s why I called this doctor here to-” He glanced at the red stain, realizing that the man in question had been eviscerated in his divorce-papers induced rage, “-No matter, I’ll do it myself, come.”

All for One led Shigaraki down a series of winding hallways and stairs into a room filled with large test tubes and the few Noumu that remained after the raid on Dr. Garaki’s hospital. He stood before one that was open, not yet filled with the preservation fluid that left the Noumu in suspended animation. “Everything should be calibrated properly, if you’ll just step inside, the process will resume.”

Shigaraki scowled, “I’m not doing this for you,” he clarified, scratching the back of his neck, “This dream is my own, this is just the means to an end.”

If All for One had eyes, he would have rolled them with disdain, instead he said, “Sure, just step into the machine Tomura, or would you like to remain in your half-finished state?”

The young man let out a huff and begrudgingly complied. All for One injected him with enough anaesthetic to subdue a horse and closed the convex glass door. He fiddled with the controls for a moment - he hated being, for all intents and purposes, blind - and soon the tube was filling with preservation fluid as Shigaraki’s upgrades resumed. It was only then, in the greenish glow of the underground laboratory, that All for One realized with some dread that he had months of unfilled time on his hands.

-@~*^*~@-

All for One’s first course of action was to break into the bedroom of a young girl on the UA campus. He had, through his various underground contacts, heard of the Overhaul incident. How a man so incompetent had managed to go so far in his plans baffled him. Truly, the state of the hero industry has fallen since his prime. It was not the man’s fanaticism nor his sadism that fascinated him, but rather the child he’d had in his possession that was now under UA’s care. Her quirk, Rewind, was rather interesting with infinite and overpowered applications. He’d be tempted to take it for himself permanently had she not emotionally latched herself to a certain, green haired teen that proved time and time again to be a thorn in his side. It was simple enough to slip through UA’s security in the dead of night, to disable all nearby cameras with a mere flick of his hand. It was a wonder what a technopathy quirk could accomplish.

She was asleep, small face peaceful. He could feel contentment radiating from her. Likely having a good dream, he mused. Gently, All for One placed one of his large hands on her forehead. He borrowed her quirk, and felt his body rewind several years, before his fateful battle with All Might. He couldn’t help the satisfied smile that crept across his face as he opened his eyes for the first time in nearly a decade. Quickly, he returned Rewind to her and used a warp quirk (the same one he used in Kamino) to leave the premises. There was no need to alert the heroes to his restored state. Yet.

At least he’d be able to show up to his divorce hearing in person, though it would take every ounce of willpower he had to not level the courthouse.

-@~*^*~@-

All for One was lounging on his couch in his makeshift home and using his phone in an attempt to understand The Youth (which to him, was anyone who wasn’t in a nursing home). On a whim, he installed Tinder, it had been decades since he really got into the dating world. His lover has been villainy, generally being an asshole, and terrorizing aspiring heroes. Having to wait for his plans to unfold was making him restless. Anyways, he was planning to get into politics now that he had his face back, as a way to enact social change without having to deal with a slew of moronic underlings. It didn’t hurt to build the foundations for his retirement, and having at least some people in his life could make him more relatable to the public and help his long term goals. He was planning to use his ex-wife and estranged son for this, but the divorce threw that plan out the window. People don’t tend to trust those who spring into existence seemingly from nowhere. (To be honest, he was just lonely, not that he’d admit it to anyone, especially not himself.)

Where was he? Ah yes, Tinder. As it stood right now, he was swiping through the incredibly vain and shallow app, no one had truly caught his eye. No one that is, until his gaze (and didn’t that feel good to say?) landed on a disheveled man with long dark hair, stubble, and dark undereye circles that stood out against his pale skin. Aizawa Shota, 31. Eraserhead. He was tempted to swipe left on impulse when he paused. Getting close to heroes could be convenient to his political goals. There was no better or more ironic way to take out the hero commission than from within after all, plus it would give him information his underground contacts lacked. Yes, this would do nicely. (And if he found the man’s sleep deprivation and dry sense of humor charming as they spoke through text that night, well, that was just a side benefit.)

They had decided to meet at a nearby cat café that evening, and All for One showed up in his best suit. It was a dark, wine red and chosen to match his eyes. Belatedly he realized he was overdressed when Aizawa showed up in a simple t-shirt and dark jeans. Whoops.

He extended his hand for the other to shake, “Hisashi Kamiya, a pleasure to meet you.” It was absolutely not a pleasure to meet the erasure hero, but Aizawa didn’t need to know that. He couldn’t help but quirk his lips at his own last name. He had chosen it after the divorce, Shigaraki most certainly wasn’t going to fly, especially since his protégé had gained some degree of infamy.

Aizawa nodded, eyes narrowing, as he shook his head, “Aizawa Shota.”

The cat café was a small, square building lined with blue wooden panels. The windows glowed with a warm orange light, and the smell of java floated through the air. The interior was just as quaint, Hisashi noted as he opened the door for the other, among the table and chairs were various cat towers and potted plants. Despite its humble appearance, the café was rather busy this evening, stuffed to the brim with overworked college students and romantic hopefuls. They ordered their drinks (Aizawa ordered a black coffee and Hisashi ordered an espresso with extra foam) and made their way to a small round table in the back corner.

“I just want you to know that I’m married and don’t want to pursue any sort of relationship,” Aizawa began, petting a small orange tabby that somehow already made its way onto his lap.

Hisashi balked at that, but quickly composed himself, “So why are you on Tinder? I assume you don’t take random strangers on dates for the joy of it.”

“I’m here because my students are villain catnip, and I want to make sure they don’t get maimed while they're out and about. Especially that one,” Aizawa gestured to a table across the room from them, “Problem child seems to attract the League of Villains everywhere he goes.”

Hisashi followed Aizawa’s gaze to the table in question and felt himself pale when he saw a familiar mop of curly green hair, his son. He swallowed, trying to ignore the fact that his estranged kid was sitting only fifty feet away. “I can understand that, but why a cat café?” he asked.

Aizawa shrugged, “They’re on a date, plus I like cats.”

He had to do a double take, Izuku was with a boy that had dual toned hair. A date? Seriously? He hardly approved of his son doing such a thing at his young age. Part of him wanted to walk over and drag the teen from his table and out of the café. Instead of making his internal screams external, he smiled saccharinely, “It’s rather thoughtful of you to take time out of your busy schedule for your students, I’m sure it must be hard to juggle hero work and teaching.” And rather creepy. Who pestered and surveilled teenagers in their free time? Other than Hisashi of course, but he was the exception.

Before Aizawa could give him a response, their drinks were set in front of them. The foam on Hisashi’s espresso had been poured in the shape of a smiling cat. He had the sudden, inexplicable urge to launch it at his date and run. Instead, he took a sip, grimacing slightly. Too much sweetener. They sat in an awkward silence, Aizawa didn’t seem like one to make conversation. Somehow the man had attracted more cats to his side.

“So you said you were married?” Hisashi asked, probing for information.

“Mhm, my husband’s name is Hizashi. He’s kind, if a bit much sometimes.” That was an understatement, Present Mic was one of the most obnoxious heroes in the public eye, right after All Might in Hisashi’s books. More awkward silence, and then:

“So Hisashi, what is it exactly that you do for a living?”

He blinked, “Oh, I’m a quirk analyst,” a lie, though quirk analysis was a pivotal part of his job, it had to be with his quirk, “I’ve just always found them interesting. It’s like how inventors feel about electronics, I just can’t help but want to pull them apart and see how they work.” Hisashi’s grin turned almost predatory at that, and Aizawa tensed. “The first quirk I ever analyzed was a neon quirk, the holder’s sweat glowed in the dark, they were like a walking, talking glow stick.”

Hisashi rambled about quirks for a while (this was the first he’d spoken so much in a long time and the words seemed to gush out of him, like he had to pay some sort of deficit), and Aizawa eventually cut him off, amusement dancing in his dark eyes, “You know, you remind me of one of my students, he’s just as obsessed with quirks as you are.”

He visibly perked up at that, “Really? It’s rare to find someone who shares my interest, most find it creepy.”

The underground hero nodded, then glanced at the clock, “I should probably get going, my students have already left and I’m expected at the police precinct soon.”

Hisashi nodded, reaching to take a sip of his espresso but finding it already drained, “This was fun, even if it didn’t go anywhere,” perhaps this night could be salvaged and still give him some sort of in, “Would you like to catch a drink again some time?”

“No.”

-@~*^*~@-

His next date was considerably more disastrous than the first. He had matched with a young woman named Iwata Setsuko. His date in question had admittedly plain features, was a single mother with three children, and looked chronically stressed. She had taken time off from her crammed schedule to have dinner with him at a small Italian restaurant. The restaurant was small, quiet, and made to resemble a courtyard in an Italian villa. At the moment, she sat across from him in the cramped restaurant, honey eyes nervously peering at him from a veil of straight mousy brown hair. Iwata worked as a nurse practitioner in a nearby hospital, and seemed impressed by his extensive medical knowledge. She presumed him to be a doctor of some sort, and while inaccurate he could become one easily with a few forged documents if this proved fruitful.

Throughout the meal, she hardly spoke, leaving him to fill the silence with spun tales and falsehoods. He was telling her a particularly interesting anecdote about South Korea when she abruptly cut him off, “You’ve been lying to me all night.” Fuck.

Hisashi tried to laugh it off, “Now what reason would I have to lie to you?”

“My quirk allows me to read the vital signs of anyone close to me, I don’t know why you’d lie but I can tell you’re full of it.”

His eyes widened, “That’s a rather interesting quirk you have, it’s certainly perfect for your field-”

“Oh shove it, I know you’re deflecting,” She dismissed, a fire lit in her eyes that was previously absent.

He felt something flutter in his chest, he liked a woman with spark, it’s why he’d married Inko after all, and he couldn’t help but think of all the possibilities and applications her quirk had, and how helpful it could be for his goals. So caught up in his fantasies of world domination, was he, that he ignored whatever was coming out of her mouth. It probably was as helpful as white noise, as most mundane people’s words were, “You’re one of the only ones whose ever seen right through me,” he said with a widening grin.

“What?” She replied, confused.

“You know, with you at my side, we could have everything you can dream of! Think of the possibilities as the world crumbles at our feet-!”

He was cut off by Iwata, who was shoving breadsticks into her purse, “Look, it’s been fun but I have to go, my kids are waiting for me at home.”

“Think about my offer, you have my number!” he shouted to her as she rushed out the door, he glanced down at her plate, “She didn’t even finish her meal either.”

Iwata never got back to him, and All for One, dark lord of the criminal underground, was ghosted.

-@~*^*~@-

After another series of failed dates, Hisashi was slumped over a bar as Kurogiri, the noumu he had broken out of Tartarus for this sole purpose, awkwardly patted him on the shoulder. “Uh there, there?” he said.

Clearly, this online dating thing was not working, “I don’t even know why I try!” All for One proclaimed dejectedly, “Clearly the public cannot handle their awe of me.”

If Kurogiri had a face beyond a pair of glowing yellow eyes, he would have winced, “Right, well, sir, if it’s my place to give you advice I’d like to do so.”

Hisashi gestured vaguely with his hands, indicating that the sentient black mist should continue.

“Why don’t you go back to what you had before, you were married were you not?” Kurogiri suggested, “Surely it can’t be that hard.”

The supervillain lifted his head from the table, looking as if Kurogiri had just handed him the world, “You know what, you’re right, why don’t I re-enter their lives? They’re mine after all.” All for One stood up, a little drunk, “Kurogiri, if you had a mouth, I could kiss you.”

“Please don’t, sir.”

A few hours later, at some ungodly time in the night, Hisashi was standing outside of the Midoriya apartment, boom box perched on his shoulder, blasting romance music like he was in a shitty 90s romcom. He was oblivious to the lights that began to turn on in windows up and down the street. Using a quirk to artificially project his voice, he shouted, “Inko baby, take me back, I’ll be better I promise!”

Soon he saw an uncharacteristically glaring, plump face in the window. Inko popped it open, slipper in hand, “Hisashi, I swear to god, if you don’t leave right now I’m calling the police, do you know what time it is?!”

“Time doesn’t matter in the face of love,” he replied, “Inko I-” Hisashi was cut off as a slipper hit him square in the face.

A/N: I hope this at least got you all to laugh, feel free to leave a comment! Happy holidays everyone, I should have the next chapter of Genesis posted on Monday.

AO3

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thepropertylovers · 4 years

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What Foreigners Really Think of The U.S. Right Now

The other night, after the kiddos went to bed, we decided to watch the second Borat movie that just came out (have you seen it?). It was insane and hilarious all at the same time, but it got me wondering: what do folks who don’t live in the U.S. think of The United States of America right now? What is their perception of us?

So I decided to pose this question on Instagram and wow. Y’all did not hold back. I want to thank everyone who submitted for your candidness and honesty, even if some of these were hard to swallow. It’s important to note that just because these are their opinions of America, it doesn’t mean it is all necessarily true. Regardless, it was interesting to read everyone’s thoughts and get an outsider’s perspective.

We received hundreds of submissions and couldn’t post them all, but below, people from all over the world share what they really think of the United States at the moment.

Leadership is out of touch with reality and messing things up real bad, not just for the U.S. but also for the world. What’s worse is that half the country is being misled successfully. It just shows poorly on the country all over. -Annonymous

Your president is a disaster when it comes to foreign politics and corona. No class, no knowledge. A joke. Very scary to watch. But half of the voters are happy with it. And that is even more scary. Very difficult to understand the hate and ignorance in your society right now. -Mikkel

It’s just weird. Everything basically. I totally understand now why the U.S. is described as '“flawed democracy” in the democracy index. It’s just a crazy system which is not providing equality among people- regarding the vote especially. This system leads to the fact of the two big parties (similar in the UK basically). But democracy is about diversity in opinions and options. Not just two. -Max

The US is more divided than ever. The two parties cannot work together nor do they appear to want to. The government is no longer run by reason, facts, and policy aiming for the betterment of the entire country and or world in the long or medium run; rather it’s instant gratification for the few who benefit from nepotism. Lies and misinformation are used to build a dictatorship hiding in the form of “patriotism”. And those who could act as a check or balance focus on their own personal gain, putting their needs above those of the persons they should be representing. -Joel

I personally don’t think there is a very good atmosphere in the USA, especially right now, Trump’s administration does not protect the American people or the economy. He only cares about himself and his male-white supremacy. The worst of all is that lots of Americans think Trump is actually a good leader (idk why, honestly). But thank God that people are starting to wake up and fight about what they believe. We can see it through BLM protests, feminist movements, and so on, and the whole world is proud about those people fighting for their rights. America was once the land of dreams, but nowadays (with all that is happening) it is even scary to go there. Lots of things have to change and those changes have to start, voting and defending your rights and your beliefs are the first step. Greetings from Spain. -Antonio

The main reasons I can think of are vote suppression/gerrymandering, expensive health care wealth inequality, racism, lack of fun control… -Brian

Definitely find the hypocrisy of the Republicans so annoying, Trump still being in office, the fact that there has been no police reform or justice for Breonna Taylor, the gun laws, and the COVID numbers just to name a few. -Brian

Here in the UK it seems like CARNAGE over there..don’t get me wrong, it’s wild here too but Trump is insane and it’s really odd seeing so many Americans supporting him. -Dan

Really worried about the fact that you might go for 4 more years with Trump and the fact that he’ll for sure contest the results if he loses. Add to this, all the racial violence and in particular the way some policemen act without being condemned by any judge. And finally the pandemic which seems to be even more out of control than in other countries. This is coming from someone who lives in France where we’re going to be under lockdown for the second time since the beginning of the pandemic (2nd lockdown starting tomorrow evening and will last at least until December 1st 😢). -Estelle

To put a long story short, let’s just hope Cheeto doesn’t get reelected otherwise our UK trade deal will be a disaster and we don’t need any more negative influences in the UK around gender and sexual equality.-Christian

I think with this administration, the US has demonstrated how to shipwreck a whole nation economically, ideologically, socially, and politically within a really short period of time. After just 4 years, we’ve come to associate the US with widespread narrow-mindedness, a lack of respect and courtesy to other nations (and minorities in its own country for that matter), short sightedness when it comes to global phenomena like environmentalism or migration patterns, and a celebration (by some at least) of almost barbaric notions of violence, oppression, and backward thinking, all under the camouflage of its constitution and socio-historic heritage. We’ve really admired the Obama administration over here in Europe, which-despite its flaws and shortcomings- has opened up the US to international partnerships and has established an ongoing discourse shaped by mutual respect and politeness…the contrast couldn’t be more pronounced these day…-Sebastian

I look at our Prime Minister and government and then see Trump and think we really could have it so much worse! Vote!! -Ant

As an American living in London, I can tell you that the news coverage here makes the US look like an absolute joke. Mainly due to 45, his lies, his bigotry, and his insane desire to make covid seem as though it’s a falsehood “created by the left” while hundreds of thousands of Americans have ben victimized by this pandemic. What was once seen as a country of opportunity and freedom, is sadly no longer held to that level of greatness in comparison to its neighboring countries. It saddens me because I had plans to move back home within the next year or so, but if the US continues on its path, I can see myself in London for the unforeseeable future. I can’t live in a country where I am seen or believed to be lesser than another because of my sexual preference. I can only hope and pray that this election brings the change we need to be that country of greatness once again. -Rob

Very poor to be honest. And I’m not necessarily [talking about Trump]- I think the immediate reaction is to blame him. Though, he is pretty awful. There was obviously a huge level of social and other problems in the US, and the current administration has exploited them to the breaking point. Whereas more “skilled” past administrations had the ability to leverage those issues for their benefit, but not let it boil over. I actually thought Trump would be a positive for the US and world- in that his incompetence would force other world leaders to step up. Meaning more equity in how disputes etc. are assessed and the US wouldn’t bully smaller nations. I think the US has hit the point in its journey with capitalism that the USSR hit with socialism in the late 80’s that led to its collapse. Does that mean collapse for the US, I don’t know but the system isn’t providing equity and equality for all as it stands. -Paul

Worried but also hopeful for you guys because I don’t think all citizens in America reflect the current administration. It’s been really great to see people voting early and making their voice heard. No matter what happens just know you did what you could in this moment in time. Even though the current administration provides a scary outlook for the future. As long as the current and future generations lead with love, there will hopefully be a brighter future. Love from Canada. -Ajetha

I've been subscribing to all of the US News since the Black Lives Matter Movement commenced and honestly, it made me scared as a Filipino Asian to step foot in the States ever since. I have big dreams of flying over there and probably working there as an immigrant after I finished college. However, when I found out about the racial injustice that is currently ongoing in the country, I became hesistant of still wanting to live there. Although, I'm positive that there are still people like you two that will be open about working immigrants, I really hope that racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia will end for good among every human beings in the US and also around the world. I do wish and pray that the 2020 US election will make certain amends to the current situation y'all are experiencing because it's getting pretty scary out there. -Harvey I’m an American living overseas working for the US government. I’m trying my hardest to stay overseas so my family and I don’t have to come back to the mess that is the US right now. From politics to COVID, it’s not a good time. While the virus may be surging again in Europe, at least the people comply with the government rules. Sometimes I believe Americans take freedom and liberty a bit too far, especially when it comes to the greater good. -Anonymous

Allthough on social policy the US is no real example for us (I think there is more social ‘security’, more justice, high standards in education for all in most of the EU countries), they always have been a ‘safe haven’ in big international politics. It now feels like ‘they have our back’ doesn’t imply anymore. -Jasper

Well personally I think the country seems in total disarray, instead of focusing on the real issues in the streets both house of the capitol are focused on bashing each other during the election campaign which is a circus due to the sitting POTUS. The obsession with the right to bare arms and the gun culture bewilders most other countries, you have teenagers walking into schools with Assault weapons and yet people still want guns to be available, worst still you ban one type of assault rifle but another just as powerful is kept on sale, it’s plain weird. -Philip

Neither candidate represents their party well. As an outsider looking in, it just baffles me that either of these men could potentially be the leader of the free world...It genuinely feels like worrying times are ahead for the US. -Marc I'm from India and living in Germany at the moment. The race problem in the US is as bad as the class/caste problem in India. Even if I don't have money I can go to a government health center in India. I just had an operation and stayed at the hospital for 18 days here in Germany, I had to pay only 180 Euros, everything else ( the operation and the many tests and scans that followed) was covered by the insurance. When my friends at the US heard about it they were shocked about low the hospital bill. There are really great labs (I'm a researcher) that I would like to work but I have no intentions of working/living in the US for a longer period of time. -Maithy

I think the US has become a joke to the rest of the developed world. Neither candidates running for president are fit to run such a powerful country. I can't help but feel after the election if Trump wins the left will riot and if Biden wins the right will riot. The country might just rip itself apart. American politics has zero empathy and zero morals. Honestly its terrifying. -Andrew

The US has always been a bit confusing to me - the two party system, the focus on religion, the divide in income and possibilities- as well as being the beacon of light in the fight for human rights, the strong personal pride in creating caring societets, the blending of and openeses for ethnicities and cultures... But for a while politics have become not at all about politics, religious beliefs are taking charge in policy work, the wealthier part shows little companion towards the less wealthy, the public spending is way above budget year after year while health care seems to be crazy expensive and not for all. The intrusion of US interest in politics in other countries are blunt to say the least, creating conflict where human lives have no value if they’re not US lives... School shootings that seems to be acted upon as that is part of normal lives, and schools to expensive for even middle class kids to study at... This is a shift in trust and soft power that affects all of us. -Olof

To be honest, I couldn’t come to the US right now, it scares me. The leadership, the gun laws, the violence and the divide of the nation. It sucks, because I love America and have been there 7 times in the last two years from Australia for work... but not anymore. I’m not coming back now until peace wins. -Anonymous

The fact that such a hate filled government is presiding over what is one the greatest countries in the world is scary. And it is seriously mind blowing that out of such a powerful country filled with some of the greatest minds in the world it’s these two men are the best you can do to be your next president. Unbelievable. Seriously unbelievable. -Rachel

I think the orange dude in office is making you guys look bad. But also, good (?). Seeing the black lives matter movement and so many of you stand up to the problems your country faces has been inspiring. One thing our countries have in common is how we are divided into very distinctive opposites sides. I mean, where do all these racists, bigots, utterly, madly conservites people came from? I few like a few years ago things did not seem so much as a boiling pan about to explode. Or maybe they were all hiding and when a lunatic like them rose to power (how that happened still boggles my mind) they all showed their true colors. It’s scary. I hope Trump doesn’t get reelected. Brazilians loooove to imitate americans🙄, so if he gets reelected it makes that much probable that our lunatic will also be in office for four more years. P.S. have you guys watched the show Years and Years from HBO? A really good watch is this election times! ☺️ -Taty

Re. The US atm. Unfortunately your president has made your country a laughing stock around the world and he's destroyed relationships with allies. It's gonna take time to rebuild all of that. He's also moved an entire branch of your government to the far right, even though the majority of the country if left/centr of left. So you've a supreme court that doesn't represent you and it's looking like they're going to try and take away rights from people. You have a healthcare system that doesn't look out for its people and there's this bizarre fear of universal healthcare that seems insane to every other 1st world country. If if Biden wins (and I really hope he does for everyone's sake), there's going to be a lot of work in undoing the damage Trump has done before he can even get into what he wants to do. All the while you've an ultra conservative highest court. There's also the massive political division and the systemic racism. It's a lot. It's not impossible, but it's going to take so much time and people who want it to change. -Ciara

I’ve been sitting here for an hour thinking about your question and there are many different outlooks I could raise so I’ll keep it generic. I’ll start with the elephant in the room known as Covid. Each day, our morning news informs us of what your leaders are doing and daily case numbers in the US. We sit here completely shocked at how your government has let it reach this point. You may have heard that Melbourne has just come out of one of the strictest and longest lock downs in the world. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone to have to do, but I will say, I feel much more comfortable to be able to go to the shops knowing the numbers are at about 2-3 a day instead of in the thousands. I do think that your government does need to address this now, could even be making it compulsory mask wearing. It’s hard for me to comment about your economy as we don’t here much about it, but I will say Trump ‘says’ make America great again, let’s get more jobs, they are pro life, yet how is someone who is prolife not doing anything to stop a virus that is killing people? Isn’t your unemployment rate worse (pre-covid) than what it was when Obama was president? I think as a generic outlook, if change isn’t made in the election, the outlook from a Australian does not look like it would be something you’d want to be apart of. I love America. Have visited a couple of times, even thought about moving there, but at the moment, I’ve never been more thankful to not be there. -Ben

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wardencommanderrodimiss · 4 years

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Who wants some more Three (Frat) Houses AU shitposting. Nobody asked for it but I give you: a scene from the Blaiddyd-von Hresvleg stepsiblings’ apartment at Garreg Mach Academy, in regards to a two certain someones’ subversive activities.

“They’re going to find out, El! They’re either going to catch you lugging around ten pounds of spraypaint when you don’t even take any art classes, or they’re going to trace all of the hacking Hubert is doing back to--”

“No, they won’t,” says Hubert.

“What, because you’re behind eighteen proxy servers or whatever the fuck bullshit words you string together like it means something,” says Dimitri, who has been banned from doing any tech troubleshooting because his only technique is ‘turn it off and on again and then thump it’ and he’s broken too many electronics by thumping them. “I’m changing the wifi password. I’m not letting you do your hacking from my wifi anymore.”

“Your wifi?” Edelgard demands. “It’s our wifi! We both pay rent here!”

“I thought your parents paid for this apartment,” says Dedue, who is aware that this statement does not really back up Dimitri but he kind of wants to see how this plays out for a little while longer before he’ll like, consider trying to deescalate the situation.

“Then it’s still our wifi,” Edelgard says. “It’s not your wifi, Dimitri.”

“As though changing the password will stop me for more than fifteen minutes,” says Hubert, who would never consider deescalating this situation and just wants to see shit burn.

“Then I’ll take a fucking baseball bat to the router!” Dimitri shouts. “I don’t give a fuck!”

“Really now,” says Edelgard. “That just hurts you, too. I don’t understand your thread of logic here. If you have confidence in the administration’s capabilities, then you needn’t worry that you and Dedue will get in trouble. And if you’re so sure that the administration will blame you and Dedue despite not being involved, then it’s quite obvious that they’re corrupt and incompetent, and you understand my reason for protesting them, do you not?”

“I do not care about the church or campus administration,” says Dimitri, as he more strongly than ever feels the urge to grab Edelgard’s self-defense baseball bat and crack open the router. “I do not care, at all, about your self-righteous cause. What I care about is that if Dedue gets caught up in your stupid games, then he will lose his scholarship, lose his ability to attend, lose his student visa, and get deported!”

“He’s not going to get deported,” says Edelgard, with all the assured confidence of someone leading a graffiti crusade against the expensive private school her parents forced her and her stepbrother to attend, which is a very niche kind of confidence, but she has it in droves. “Hubert can just hack the government and correct any records that need correcting in order to let him stay. Right, Hubert?”

“That is....far from that simple,” says Hubert, who knows by now that Edelgard, much like Dimitri does not understand technology and thinks that Hubert does something like actual magic. “But yes, should it come to that, I will do everything in my power in order to rectify such a situation.”

“You intend to solve, by hacking, a problem which you have created by hacking,” Dedue says, mostly just trying to get a grip on where this conversation is.

“See?” Edelgard says, entirely missing the quiet disbelief that Dedue is expressing. “There won’t be a problem, Dimitri. Besides, our family is rich. I’m sure we can beg our parents to pull some strings if we truly must. There’s no need for the both of you to worry.”

“Get out of here,” says Dimitri, pointing to the door.

“Excuse me? This is my apartment as much as--”

“Get out. Both of you,” says Dimitri. “Right now, start packing. Or I will literally throw both of you and all of your possessions out this door.”

“Really, you will,” says Edelgard, who has watched Dimitri not follow through on numerous threats, and ignores the small subset that he has most unfortunately followed through on, the latest of which required replacing the apartment coffee-maker. “I’d like to see it.”

Dimitri picks up the coffee table, dumping off of it Edelgard’s notes, his own notes, and seven empty energy drink cans that Hubert has consumed within the past sixteen hours. “Dedue, please open the window,” he says.

“I thought you said you would throw us out the door,” says Hubert, who now really wants to see shit burn and will throw as much metaphorical tinder onto the sparks as it takes to get something to happen.

Dedue opens the window and glances down. “The street is clear,” he says, and Dimitri stumbles backwards to the window, glancing briefly over his shoulder to confirm Dedue’s assessment before he hefts the coffee table through the open window.

“What next?” Dimitri says, after there is a moment of silence for them to all take in the splintering sound as the coffee table hit the sidewalk. “Something else of yours, El? Or does Hubert have a suggestion of his own?”

Any answer is forestalled by a scream from down on the street. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING UP THERE, YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER?”

Dimitri blanches. “Oh, Goddess,” he says.

“Is that...Felix?” Edelgard asks.

“THE FRAT SENT ME TO DO A WELLNESS CHECK BUT DIMITRI IF YOU ARE ALIVE AND UP THERE I SWEAR TO FUCK I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF.”

“That is indeed Felix,” Dedue says. “I wonder where he was standing to be out of our sights.”

Dimitri pales even further, as the situation fully hits him the way the coffee table did not in fact hit Felix, as does the phrase ‘wellness check’ registers with him that he let his phone die two days ago and hasn’t turned it back on since he has been so busy fretting about the Edelgard situation, and that this radio silence was indeed legitimate reason for his friends to worry, and in return he nearly dropped a coffee table on Felix’s head.

“Good luck,” Hubert says smugly, cracking his knuckles and unfolding himself from where he sat on the couch hunched like some sort of goth gargoyle. “I presently intend to begin packing, but do say hello to Felix for me.”

“There’s no reason to start packing just yet,” Edelgard says. “If Felix kills him then he can’t throw us out of our apartment.”

“I will fucking haunt you,” Dimitri says.

#i started thinking about this au again and now that i'm doing the blue lions route #i feel like i can better write about what the FUCK is going on in this household #also: the comedy inherent in having dedue edelgard and hubert all speak in a manner more like canon #while dimitri and felix swear up a shitstorm. that is COMEDY and i stand by it.#three frat houses au

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rotten-games · 4 years

Text

Here’s some of that smut I promised you a while ago. Lokeira and a gender neutral mc mostly just being awkward.

Lokeira has always approached you with an awkward sort of intimacy that you can never tell is due to inexperience or some sort of hesitance—or perhaps fear—that stems from a wariness of you. Perhaps, you fear, it is a bit of both. His lips press gently against your own, his eyes scrunched shut as he persuades himself to relax into your embrace. His kisses, as everything about him, are clumsy, as if he never quite learnt what it meant to be in love.

Despite his obvious trepidation, right down to the way his lips curl around his quivering sighs, covering up the sounds that might otherwise be permeating the air, you push through it. His fingers, though, they dig lightly into your hips through the fabric, his thumbs rubbing circles into your skin as they dip up under your shirt. You giggle, bringing him closer with a strong squeeze, pressing forward into the kiss so that Lokeira doesn’t have to. You already know the deepened intimacy is what he craves.

Your shirt quickly comes off, followed by your pants, far too impatient to waste time groping through clothing when you could be touching bare skin. As for Lokeira, his tunic stays on, hiding the ragged scars that run deep over his chest. Though it is as flat as he always knew it should be, something went wrong as it always does, leaving him scarred and all torn up inside. He still hasn’t quite gotten used to being seen without a shirt. And for now, you’re content not to push it. His lower half, however, is fair game. Though his hips and thighs have always been a source of discomfort, he trusts you enough to touch and be touched. He melts against your hands as you work at his trousers, pressing his mouth against your ear as his breaths become laboured.

Within a few moments, you separate so he steps from his slacks, kicking them somewhere off to the side with an impatient grunt. Like all things with him, the action that was supposed to come across as sexy only seems awkward in Lokeira’s hands. You chuckle and pull him to you again, pressing back onto the bed as finally you manage to shuffle your way there. Though Lokeira likes it against the wall, and you are often happy to oblige, it isn’t to your taste today.

Before you can run your fingers back over his bare body, Lokeira presses a hand to your shoulder, pushing lightly away from the hungry kisses that threaten to pull him back in. For a moment you prepare yourself to stop completely, bringing your hands back to cup his face as you search his eyes for any sort of hesitance. There are some days where it becomes all too much for him—his body and the differences he is unwilling to change. There was once a time when he pretended that the sex was what he wanted, that physical intimacy didn’t make his body scream for him to stop.

When he locked himself away and didn’t eat for a week, you knew that couldn’t be repeated.

But you know, now, what he can and can’t take, what triggers his discomfort and what takes it away. You know he loves it when you trace the scars over his chest, know he won’t ever allow you to use your mouth anywhere near his torso. And you’re okay with that. You all have your issues.

“Do you want to stop?” You ask and, going wide-eyed, Lokeira shakes his head violently, as if the gods have taken hold of his very soul. He lurches forward and kisses you once more, settling into the crook of your neck after but a few hurried pecks on the lips.

“No, no, love,” Lokeira says in his soft voice, gently tracing the ragged purple scar on your abdomen as he lavishes your skin with kisses. “I was just… Hmm, I just wanted—no, what I want is—I wanted to ask you if…”

Lokeira turns away, having trouble voicing his wants as he bites his bottom lip. He sucks in a breath, tail swinging back and forth in agitation as he struggles with himself to voice his desires. You chuckle and press your fingers to his own stomach, relaxing him slightly as you graze over the scars underneath his tunic.

“I can’t know if you don’t tell me.”

“I know that!” Lokeira stammers, pushing his fingers through his hair in irritation. He grinds his teeth with a furrowed brow, shifting in your lap in the only way he does when frustrated with his own incompetence. His sharp teeth sink into the inside of his cheek as his eyes graze your face. If he could blush at all, he would, but as it is, he simply shudders. “I have a—There’s a prosthetic.”

“You mean your leg, or…” You can’t help but tease, appraising him with your gaze. His ears swivel back to sit flat against his head, a petulant look in his eye as he pouts. Despite it all, you know he loves it when you tease. One could call it a form of foreplay, perhaps. You’ve never bothered to call it much of anything.

“I mean,” Lokeira grumbles impatiently, leaving you briefly to go rummaging around in his pack beside the bed. There’s the clinking of glass—you assume the potions he takes every few weeks or so—but you’re distracted by the tunic riding up his back, his bare rump wagging in the air as he hangs half-off the bed. His tail swinging back and forth is mesmerising like a pendulum. You don’t dare to reach out and grab it; there is a time and place for spontaneity with Lokeira, but right now is not that time. “I usually use it to feel more myself on off days—though usually it just, just gets in the way when I’m out on a job—or…” Lokeira briefly shifts to look at you, ears flat again against his head. He looks sheepish. “Or never mind. You know what I mean.”

He returns to his previous motions, growling out a curse as he struggles with the items in his pack. Finally, with a grunt, he pulls out what appears to be a belt of some kind, until you recognise it for what it is. Ah. You chuckle a little. Lokeira didn’t need to be so nervous. Men like him sometimes used to just shove socks down their trousers, but there are prosthetics now—like the one held nervously in your lover’s shaking hands—that serve far better than any flimsy bundle of cloth. They, generally, have multiple uses.

“I mean you don’t have to. I’m perfectly comfortable—”

“Yes,” You decide promptly, curiously pulling Lokeira closer to get a better look. Your hands once again slide their way under his tunic, thumbing lightly at the scars. He relaxes against your shoulder, not seeming to care as you take the prosthetic from him and begin to put it into place. You’re not entirely sure how it’s supposed to work, but you assume you’ll come to learn in time.

“Are you sure?” Lokeira splutters, eyes wide as he pretends not to notice your eagerness. Almost as if he expected you to decline. He pulls you into a kiss, pressing you back against the bed with his own enthusiasm, tail wrapping absently around your ankle. Gently, you let out a short chuckle, patting your hand against his wood and metal leg. He doesn’t need words to know when you’re certain. When he pulls away, he bites at his bottom lip to stop himself from grinning. “Okay, just—gods, this is embarrassing—let me…”

Lokeira trails off, running the tips of his fingers down your body as his brows furrow in concentration. You have no doubt he’s holding in his nervous laughter, and you distract him with another pat, this time on the thigh. “Sweet,” You coax him gently, jerking your head in the general direction of the stand beside your bed. “Oil first.”

“Oh! Yes. Sorry, I forgot.” Lokeira babbles, reaching over you to paw inside the drawer. You chuckle as he returns with a jar of jasmine-scented oil. All but a must when it comes to the throes of passion. He peers down at you before pulling you up into a kiss, absently tracing the lid of the jar with his clawed fingers. You quickly take it from him before he gets any ideas; he’s not putting those talons inside of you.

The affair is perhaps slower than you’d like, but it’s been a while since you’ve been anything but the more dominant party in your relations with Lokeira. It’s less sexy than you imagine you wanted it to be, but you suppose sex isn’t all that sexy in the first place, not like you’d been led to believe, anyway, and you soon give up trying to look attractive for this beautiful man when you just want to get this segment at least over and done with. Lokeira spends his time lathering the prosthetic up with oil in turn, expression a little dazed as if uncertain that you even agreed at all. But you’re still here. And so is he, so what other alternative can there be?

When you’re, gratefully, finished, you decide to sit up, taking Lokeira’s hands and pressing a kiss on each of his hands. He’s long since given up trying to live up to an impossible standard of manhood, and simply lets himself splutter abashedly, ears swivelling forward and tail hitting the bed as it sways excitedly in the air. Slowly, you straddle his thighs, earning a sound of confusion as he cocks his head. For a man who looks more akin to a goat than anything else, he sure acts like a cat, and the thought draws a giggle from your lips. “Let me do the work,” You explain, and Lokeira simply nods his head, his chest rising and falling just slowly enough to be excitement rather than fear. You’re more experienced than he is, and you’d rather not hurt either of you.

Satisfied with how everything’s turning out you press a reassuring kiss to Lokeira’s lips, cupping his thin cheeks as you slowly ease yourself down onto him with a soft sigh through your nose. It’s an odd feeling, being filled this way, and your mind is a little bit airy as you brace yourself on your knees. Lokeira mumbles something and nuzzles into your chest, his tail coiling excitedly around one of your ankles. You’re not entirely sure what it is he said, but you’re sure if he wanted an answer to it, he’d repeat himself. Instead you curl some of his silver hair around your fingers, and tug, earning you a delightful little groan in response.

You rise with little difficulty, closing your eyes as you feel the oddly textured prosthetic slide out of you. It almost feels like real flesh but… not quite. Biting at your lip, you sink back down once more and roll your hips, feeling Lokeira’s claws dig into your sides with a gasp. With your urging, he begins to shift his own hips in time with yours, pressing his lips and teeth clumsily into the flesh of your neck. Neither of you speak, the only sound between you is the panting and the moans, the slapping of skin, the horrible wet sound that comes from the haphazard kisses you share.

Lokeira sighs your name between kisses, a desperation colouring the tone of his voice as his previous, almost shy, movements turn surer. You snort a little, knowing it’s only because he’s desperate. You can feel the pressure in your groin like a knot tying you up, you want to reach for it, claim oblivion and let yourself fall right off the edge, yet at the same time you want to watch Lokeira squirm some more underneath you. Both options are tempting, to be sure.

You hear your name again, mewled out between heavy panting as Lokeira nuzzles against you, but then his voice is muffled as the two of you go racing closer and closer to the edge. His hips stutter, arms tightening around you and hindering your mobility. You’re close enough now that you have no problem letting him do the work. “… ve you” You hear the beginnings of a sentence against your skin, but the words sound awkward and unrehearsed.

“What—what’s that?” You manage out, pulling Lokeira’s hair again so his mouth is free. His cheeks are flushed, pupils completely dilated, and a stray bead of sweat falls down the side of his face. He grins a little shyly, and in that moment he’s surprisingly lucid.

“Love you.”

You gulp, the words momentarily knocking you off-balance. You don’t think either of you have ever taken that step before—a part of you was hoping you wouldn’t have to. Yet, even as a slight shiver of fear chills your blood, you’re still warmed by Lokeira’s body and it’s so easy to mirror those words right back at him.

It doesn’t take either of you to finish after that, and when the two of you are laying in a heap, the prosthetic tossed carelessly on the floor, you’re comfortable. “Was that okay?” Lokeira whispers, and you know he isn’t talking about the sex. Rolling off him, you settle into the bed with a sigh, gently tugging on one of his horns to bring him closer once more. Pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose, you bury your face into his chest as a response. His heart—it doesn’t beat but he’s warm regardless.

#sin bin #Lokeira #I actually started this about a year ago but I forgot it existed so only now do I present it here to you #next on the things i plant to write 'arke and some ideas about bondage'#listen i reread his introduction scene and my mind went straight to the gutter

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dlamp-dictator · 4 years

Text

I’ll keep an eye on this anime. If anything, it definitely looks pretty, the fight scenes have been [done] well so far, and seeing Melida be cute in full color is great. If I just get a decent action series out of this anime, I’ll be happy.

-Allen X, October 22 2019

Well folks, Assassins Pride wrapped up last week and I can safely say I got what I wanted. In the end, I think this was a pretty fun and passable anime to watch weekly. Decent action, decent plot, and a decently written story. Nothing was too offensive or annoying save for one or two moments in the middle, and as much as I felt the show stumbled compared to the manga and possibly the light novel I have hope that this might just get an official translate and... well, you know, do the pacing thing better.

But since I had a habit of covering this thing after every arc I figured I’d give the show some closing thoughts and an overall opinion of the thing at the end. I hope I don’t spend a 1000+ words on this, but... well... I can get pretty wordy when I get a groove, so we’ll see.

But anyway, let’s start with...

The Good

The Visuals

Let’s not mince words folks, this anime is pretty. It might be because I’m a sucker for night aesthetic, but the one disadvantage of the black-and-white manga is that were really never got to see just how dark the world of Flandor really was. To quote myself again:

(This is a) world trapped in perpetual night with warriors of light being the only thing keeping away further darkness, along with the last bastion of humanity being a literal chandelier city in case you missed the symbolism

And nothing makes you really feel that more than that first scene of Kufa walking through the quiet streets on his way to the Angel estate, seeing not only how dark the world is from the night sky above, but also how artificial the light within it really is. The dark aesthetic really helps a lot of the other characters pop out a lot more in terms of the actual color. Mana is literally a glowing, flaming aura that lights the darkness like a candle. The two main girls in this series are a bright blonde and white-haired girl that stand out against the black night sky like the sun and stars.

Again, symbolism.

The list goes on, but you get the idea.

The Action

Not to say this is Trigger or Madhouse or Perriot, but it is pretty nice that we get a decent action scene every arc. Something I definitely appreciate is that they show contrast between Melida’s kind nature and friendly attitude with her brutal and dirty fighting style.

See, Melida is a kind and gentle girl that would rather not use violence save for fighting demons, but if she has to fight she’ll use every dirty trick in the book. She’ll throw sand, she feint attacks, she go into brawling when close enough, she fake being injured to make her opponent let their guard down. It’s a nice little story detail that shows you this noblewoman was, in fact, trained by a ruthless assassin that taught her to actual fight for survival instead of like a nobleman. Her taking down stronger students by doing all but outright cheat is almost hilarious to watch sometimes.

The Overall Narrative

For as fast as the pacing was I feel like I got a good idea of Melida’s story and the trials she has to endure as the “Incompetent Talented Girl”. This story focused on Melida more than Kufa, which is something I’m very thankful for. It’s always tempting to switch over the OP male MC to overpower his way through things, but to my pleasant surprise this only happened in one arc, and it was an arc that had some justification for it, though I really didn’t care it myself. Save for the third arc everything was to show Melida’s growth from a shy and bullied girl to a competent swordswoman that can even hold her own against the other heirs of the three noble houses.

But that’s enough of the good, so now we have to talk about...

The Bad

The Pacing

There’s no getting around this. Even if I didn’t already read bits of the manga online ahead of time the pacing for this show is still insanely fast. Even taking out the fact that this is an adapted story we’re never given enough time to absorb certain scenes. And the worse is that a lot of the arcs have a focus on intrigue and mystery. Luna Lumiere Selection Tournament Arc had two major mysteries: who was the one that changed the plaque and who is Black Madia masquerading as? They especially took care to make Mule seem like a very suspicious party only to reveal it was a third party in the very same episode. The mystery of Black Madia was done better, though by necessity as she couldn’t reveal herself until the very last moment of the arc. This was fine in the anime, but it could had used an extra episode or two of build-up between scenes. The arc at Rosetti’s hometown was a huge mystery that had Kufa under believable suspicious, and was actually done pretty well by not revealing the true culprit until the last episode of it, it also helps that Kufa was under suspicion from the first episode of it. The Library Exam Arc was... done alright, but it could had used an extra episode or two to cook and add some more tension between the Angels and the other nobles, but it was done well.

And that’s the main issue. Every arc could had used one or two extra episodes to really set the scene. Nothing was done poorly in terms of structure and narrative, but everything could had been better had things slowed down. Despite the action this show isn’t a shounen or action genre, it’s a political drama with a combat school setting.

This might also be just the issue of this being a 12-episode anime adapting a novel. A novel has the advantage of progressing its plots slowly with the knowledge the reader has the entire book to finish either that arc or at least most of it. If that reader skips around because they’re bored that says more about them than the author. With an anime or television show you don’t have that luxury, you only have a few episodes at best to keep a viewers attention, especially for something like the seasonal anime lineup where you have to keep audience retention every week and your competition is the other 50+ anime out there that might possibly be more interesting. I pity whatever decent anime has to contend with the newest My Hero Academia season along with everything else.

I understand the need to want to just show off the cool bits to keep audience attention, but it came at the cost of the narrative. Even if this thing still holds together well it could hold together much better if they only focused on the first two arcs of this series instead of trying to shove in four, but alas...

In any case...

Other Smaller Issues that Bugged Allen

Really, the pacing was the biggest issue in this anime, but I do have my fair share of gripes and nitpicks too. I’ll keep this in list form for the sake of simplicity.

Kufa having access to potions/medicines that can not only kick-start a mana-less person into having it, but one that can also turn half-Lyncrophyes back to humans opens up quite a few plotholes and issues. I’m sure the light novel and manga explain their existence better, probably something to the effect of them being extremely experimental and a deadly risk, but the anime doesn’t explain that and it can take you out of the story if you care about the world-building.

I feel like side characters like Nerva, Mule, and Salacha were suppose to get more screentime, or at least more development, but just didn’t due to the pacing and runtime. You get the basic idea of everyone, but it feels like the show wanted to do more with them, or at least that the source material probably did more with them.

The occasional moments fanservice don’t work too well in this series. It’s nothing to the level of Senran Kagura or Ikkitousen, but when your cast consist of mostly middle school aged girls the most fanservice that should be seen is a beach episode or a sleepover episode. And while this anime did have a sleepover episode it still also took time to put some of this girls in... compromising positions. My general rule of fanservice is that high school age characters doesn’t really count due to the wonky-ness of hormones act and how most media east and west tends to treat high school characters anyway, but middle school kids... yeah no. That’s just my morals, but it’s still a detractor from the anime.

The third arc kind of felt pointless since it tried to focus on Kufa’s relationship with Rosetti. I didn’t really need to know about Kufa’s past, and connecting it to Rosetti just... doesn’t feel right given how he dismissive treated her in the first arc. Making Rose a half-vampire was also pretty pointless to me. It feels like they were trying to give Kufa a harem when this show is mostly focused on Melida, and the most interesting part about his past is a mix of his life in the dark zone of the world and his past as an assassin, not his relationships with his apparent adoptive sister. It just felt... really focused and a waste of time. They could had cut out this arc, gave each other arc an extra episode to build up some things and be none the weaker for it.

The Dub

The nice thing about VRV is that I can see the HiDive dubcast along with the show. I only watched a handful of episodes, but here are my general throughts for those curious. Overall, the dub is fine, but like most HiDive Dubcasts it feels... off. Not bad, but it feels like they needed to be 4 or 6 weeks off the original release instead of 2 or 3 to get the director in the right place. I feel like most of the issues with this dub come from the direction and scripting rather than the actual voice-acting. But just to keep this short.

Kufa sounds too flat. This was a pretty common dubbing issue back in the early 2000s when trying to translate/localize a stoic, serious character. The director is probably trying to make the actor emulate the original Japanese voice acting and Kufa just sounds too flat and bored at times because of it. Most character like this tend to be given a more deadpan and sarcastic edge to them in English to make the have a little more emotion. In Japanese that flat tone is meant imply stoicism, resolve, and masculinity. In English... that’s just sounding flat and bored. Again, most characters like this are usually given a different kind of tone to keep them from sounding bored. For Kufa I’d say a more strict and stern tone of voice would help given he’s an instructor, almost like a even-toned drill sergeant issuing orders. He does sound like that from time to time when actually instructing, but I wish he kept that persona. Though that’s just my take.

Nerva and Rosetti... just don’t hit it for me. I don’t mind the difference in tone, but the script doesn’t lend itself to it. Rosetti’s actor makes her sounds much more like an adult in English, but her actual lines are still childish, which makes her come off as a little... cringe. Same with Nerva, but I’m willing to overlook it since she’s more of a side character anyway. Mule actually sounds pretty good in this regard. Her tone sounds less like a middle schooler and more like a young college woman, but since a lot of her actual lines has an air of condescending smugness it works out, though her actor sounds like she’s reading the script and not acting from it.

The scripting in general seemed to really want to follow the subbed version and it falls flat because of it. When I read the subtitles that take the world, systems, and general wackiness of this subpar anime so seriously it’s fine. But to actually hear it in a language I understand... it kinda’ shows how lacking the series is. I’m not saying they should had added jokes or anything, but it feels like they could had made the dialogue a bit more casual than it was in the subs so that the lines flowed a little better. HiDive dubs, their dubcasts especially, tend to feel like a product of the early 2000s rather than something current.

Thoughts and Recommendations

Overall I do recommend this series as a decent action show with some nice colors to it and a killer OP and ED, but there's a lot better I could recommend too that does everything this anime does but better.

So... here are a recommendations I have if Assassins Pride didn’t really click with you as much as you hoped.

A bit of an odd recommendation, but I’ll stick up Goblin Slayer first. This anime is actually a lot like Assassins Pride, being a character-focused story with decent side characters and does a lot of its world-building in the background. However, it does its arcs far better than Assassins Pride since they aren’t intrigue-based and the cast is solving much simpler problems in the grand scheme of things. It’s also an anime based off a light novel just to add to the similarities, and said anime also has four arcs to it. I will say this is a series that’s not for the faint of heart, and I almost recommend skipping episode 1 if you’re of a weaker constitution if you plan on watching this one.

Next up would be Chivalry of a Failed Knight. It does the combat school aspect of Assassins Pride much better, taking some strides to show that each of its students are, in fact, warriors capable of harming and killing others and going to a school to hone those skills. And if you that Melida was a ruthless fighter Ikki probably takes it a step further. And this is also another light novel adaptation, though the manga did technically finish its updates online if you’re curious. A side recommendation to this one would be Armed Girl's Machiavellism.

My last recommendation will be Katana Maidens. This is another combat school anime that I feel is honestly average, but it’s an anime-original series that has 24 episodes behind it, and quite a few decent action scenes. I recommend this one more to action junkies as I feel the story really starts to drag in the second half, but an overall decent series that does do itself world-building a little better than Assassins Pride, or at least I’m not asking as many questions at the end of it.

And those are my thoughts on Assassins Pride. Now I have a Rambling on video games to work on, so I’ll see you all later.

#assassins pride #your dictator is speaking

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ailuronymy · 5 years

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Hey, I follow a WC YouTuber called Moonkitti and she'd uploaded a video called "Warrior Names". She kinda slams traditionalism and also demonstrates she has no idea what exactly it is. Like she shows some prefixes as examples which has Tree and Dirt as acceptable and Jay isn't, despite the inverse being true. I know she mentions she's not against it in concept, but that it was being enforced to limit others' creativity, but I have really mixed feelings about it and wanted to know your opinions.

Hello there, Ruddles! I hadn’t heard of this person before but I went and watched this video and I think I understand where your mixed feelings might be coming from. This video is trying to do a lot of things but, in my personal opinion, it’s doing none of them particularly well.

There’s three major things happening all at once: 1. a legitimate personal reflection about how certain traditionalists acted towards this person in the past and how that impacted her (4:50; 6:20); 2. an incorrect and misleading explanation of what traditionalism even is and very clearly no understanding of why it appeals to people, and therefore very little empathy towards people who use the style; (5:13; 6:00); and 3. (from an outsider stance as someone who likes deconstructing arguments for fun) a fascinatingly messy argument both in favour of Erin Hunter while using Erin Hunter’s various (and typically more incompetent) choices as justifications for… everything and anything.

It’s a mixed bag to be sure! To start with, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying that some people who use the traditional style are jerks. It’s very true. I remember those days too. Some people genuinely did crash forum threads just to mock and belittle other people. It was terrible and I think it’s totally legitimate to be upset about that.

I think the argument that everyone who uses traditionalism behaves that way is bad faith, however, and I also question the confirmation bias happening at 6:54, because I only ever see people talking about traditionalism for themselves, because that’s the spaces I hang out in. I wonder if Moonkitti has ever actually looked for traditional forums and sites, or if she’s just taken for granted that they don’t exist and everyone who uses the style is waging their own personal crusade. That’s not something I endorse in any way, by the way. Don’t anyone do that.

The second topic is personally the most frustrating because at points she’s almost right. But her definitions are incorrect and explanations simplify in a way that isn’t helpful to anyone. She’s not trying to actually give an account of the style and then point out the ways it doesn’t work or shouldn’t exist or anything like that: she’s half understood the idea and gone, “That sounds dumb.” This is in fact what she claims traditionalists say about other styles (7:22), which I disagree with: traditionalism is based mostly on having a set framework in place and then fairly rigorously debating what works and doesn’t within that world set-up. Plenty of names that are traditional sound pretty silly, but that doesn’t mean we knock them back wholesale. The whole point of the style is there is a method. Making judgments based on looser qualities, like sound or flow or imagery, is more of a lyrical approach.

Anyway, she doesn’t even seem to have gone to the effort of learning about it herself before deciding to preach. I think that’s tacky. It’s exasperating to me, because it’s not like there aren’t a ton of resources out there: if nothing else, traditionalists are good like that! We love lists and archives and referring to rules we’ve written out. That’s one of the things she’s correct about. She frequently refers to the fact that traditionalism is fan-made (2:25; 3:59; 6:45), but she does so as if this is a bad thing, which it’s not. Traditionalists are aware it’s fan-made: we are, after all, the fans who made it. That’s the whole idea.

Which brings me to the third topic: she doesn’t seem to fully understand why traditionalism exists and why it brings joy to people who use it. That’s an issue, because much of her argument is based around “well, canon.” She mischaracterises traditionalists as people who are “taking things too seriously” for being creative–i.e., she recognises that the entirety of traditionalism is fan-made, but can’t seem to understand why fans would elect to create rules to follow; it seems to cancel out the creativity in her world-view. She also repeatedly refers to the fact that she doesn’t need a traditional system to enjoy the Warriors world (0:26; 7:17; 8:28; 9:05)–to which I reply, your mileage may vary–and seems to look down on people who are pulled out of the story by “a silly name,” unlike her or Erin Hunter, who don’t take things “seriously.”

The major problem I have with this approach is that it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the value of good world-building–or even some idea of what it looks like. She claims a strict system would result in a boring story (which perhaps would be true for her, who knows: again, mileage may vary) (8:28), but the issue I have is that she says: “don’t get me wrong, warrior cats is not perfect, but the least of our troubles with the quality of these books is how strange these names are. Sure, Bouncefire sounds weird and doesn’t seem realistic, but if you’re worried about this story’s realism, consider the fact that we have about fifty cats who live together who barely gossip except if it’s about a housecat” (1:06).

She uses the word “realistic” throughout the whole video, as though the goal of using a traditional style is to make Warriors realistic, which in my opinion it’s not. Plausible, yes. Believable, yes. Cohesive, yes. But not realistic. These are, after all, talking cats with religion. I myself multiple times a year refer to the fact we’re all getting excited over “feral cats talking to stars in the forest.” There’s no pretense there! But the thing Moonkitti argues that actually makes me mad is that, because it’s not real, nothing matters.

And that’s absolutely horse-apples. It matters that the names in canon don’t have structure, because the world of Warriors doesn’t have structure and that is the underlying problem of the series. That is part of why the series is not well-written. The world doesn’t have structure or consistency in how it is built, and the run-on effect is that characters are frequently flat and their decisions–even their deaths–are regularly made meaningless by the world of the story. The world-building is inconsistent and poorly planned, and the run-on effect is that plots regularly force characters who are supposed to be intelligent or even an average amount of smart into being unbelievably stupid simply for the sake of furthering it, and the stakes of the stories are constantly forced to increase to squeeze any amount of impact out of the plots because the writing itself won’t do it.

There is no hierarchy from most to least when it comes to the quality troubles of Erin Hunter’s work. The issues in Warriors are not stand-alone. They are interconnected. It’s silly to pretend that transformative world-building, which is what traditionalism is, is somehow a superficial, ornamental thing and not simply another way for fans to mend some of what makes Warriors “not perfect,” like any other AU or fandom meta. Canon invented the name-change custom (7:43)–and repeatedly made it messy, and shameful, and had no idea what they wanted to go with. Traditionalism mended that and made it better. If you can recognise that the series isn’t perfect, I don’t think it’s a stretch to also recognise and acknowledge different ways of how fans react to and deal with those imperfections in fan-works, such as role-playing and fanfiction and OCs.

Moonkitti’s repetitions that this is a fantasy series and it’s not real so stop caring frankly reminds me a lot people who get uncomfortable and defensive when you analyse and discuss a piece of media in any kind of critical or thoughtful way and will tell you don’t be so serious. In my case, these people tend not to realise that, for me at least, this is fun--and it’s worthwhile and important to do. It’s also my actual job, in the daylight hours. (Here it’s just a hobby).

So tl;dr: Erin Hunter doesn’t take Warriors seriously–and that is the problem. The canon naming style is a symptom of how little effort Erin Hunter puts into consistent or meaningful world-building. Traditionalism exists as some fans’ attempt to craft a solution for themselves, and I include myself in that.

Moonkitti’s approach to explaining traditionalism from a place of 1. not being interested in understanding it and 2. being oddly defensive of Erin Hunter, the creative team behind all of canon’s terrible weird writing choices, rather than critical of said choices and choosing instead to blame fans for wanting canon to be better and then acting on that desire, feels a bit in bad faith to me. I’m sad to hear that she had such bad experiences with traditionalists in the past, because that’s awful, but I also feel strongly that it’s a good idea to know what you’re talking about before you step onto the stage like this.

For instance, she says, “There’s no real argument for why [certain] names [should] not be in the series,” (2:13), but, well. I’m here and this blog is my seven-years-and-counting argument. I like to think it’s often a persuasive one, too!

#good god this is long #ALSO it goes without saying but i'll say it just in case: no-one is to go to this person's channel and leave any kind of rude comment #i like to believe none of you would even think of that but i'm saying it now: don't.#if you don't like what she's said just move on and go do something nice. plant a flower. tell a friend you love them. do that kind of thing.

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outofoxygen · 5 years

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Elsewhere Demo (Elsewhere 0.2.3) - Please kill me. Please.

I’d like to preface this with the notice that this is a demo; it’s incomplete. However, it’s still horrid and I still hate its horrendously disgusting being.

Okay, I’m not going to blunder about trying to explain this thing’s garbage plot. Instead, I’ll get directly into this thing’s horridly disgusting being. So, how would I explain Elsewhere (0.2.3)? Well, it’s basically like.. sitting in a subway tram. A dirty, strangely moist tram. Some hipster walks in, wearing a godawful V-neck and twisting his horrible mustache around. He looks at you, then proceeds to walk over, sweating and blathering about useless dreck. Heh. Hah. It’s pain. You want to die.

Yes, playing Elsewhere makes me want to die. It’s absolutely disgusting. The most disgusting thing you’ll easily spot is the horrible artwork. Awful facesprites, disgusting character sprites, and horrible enemy sprites. These awful sprites.. made it almost impossible for me to even play this entire fucking game. If you can give me a noose, I’d probably begin to hang myself rig

Okay, got sidetracked there. Moving on, I will mention something that also makes me want to die. This game mentions one ‘Yuko’ character. At this point, you’re probably rolling your eyes. “A game mentions a character, so what? Do you hate continuity?” No, I don’t. That’s why I hate Yuko. Yuko is a character mentioned for no apparent goddamned reason other than, I assume, a set-up for later on. However, the main character, Clyde, acts as if you already know who this Yuko is, despite the game never mentioning this Yuko or showing Yuko’s face even once. Not even once. The game can dedicate an entire faceset to Clyde, but not even toss us a paltry image of Yuko.

As I thought about it, I came to a conclusion. “Maybe Yuko is the name of the dev’s player, and they forgot to change it! Yes, that’s it!” Little did I know, that innocence.. it was misguided.

For those of you who don’t know, RPG Maker 2003 uses a simple system for displaying things like a custom player name. There is a small list of characters within the game that are playable/in there for whatever reason, numbered from 1 to some arbitrary number. Going by this game, “Player” is in number 5. So if the developer wants to make the game output the player’s custom name, they would put this string into the text: “\N[5]”. Unedited, it looks like this: “\N[n]”. What it calls upon is hero number ‘n’ (in this case 5) and outputs the ‘N’, or the name of the hero.

I thought the developer forgot to put in an “\N[5]” and instead misguidedly typed in their test name. However, the textbox mentioning Yuko looks like this:

“\N[5] and I were sent here on behalf of someone named "\C[14]Yuko\C[00]." You wouldn't happen to recognize the name, would you?” (The “\C[14]” and “\C[00]” determine the color a portion of text; in this case, changing it between gold (the “[14]”) and the default color (the “[00]”).)

Yes, there it is, the contradiction, the elimination of my theory. The developer, as such, either had to forget to mention Yuko, or for some horrific reason seems to believe they don’t need to. I don’t know what would run through someone’s mind to make such a horrid and counterproductive decision, but I fear that may be the reason.

So, let’s assume that someone out there in the around 5 or so people that will read this looks at my ranting, and screams out: “What, no mention of the characters? No discussion on how it fits in with the lore?” Well, I shall talk about the characters. You chose your cyanide, now I must deliver it on your silver platter.

So it turns out that the characters are about as lackluster as the art. By that, I mean they’re absolute garbage. The main character, Clyde, lacks most of a personality other than the leftover traces of the archetypal energetic, excited, and heroic 'personality’ that so many blank and forgettable characters possess.

They introduce a cat, Syrup, who is basically a more pathetic and depressing version of The Judge. I don’t mean intentionally pathetic and depressing, just so.. bland and sad to witness, it is comparable to watching two unmanned cement mixers smash into one another. I shall speak no more of Syrup.

The final character that is actually mentioned so far is one Yuko, which I already complained about. So there is no character to be mentioned.

Within the game’s files (which I will admit I am liberally digging around in) there exist five other notable characters: ‘Sprinkles’, ‘Copper’, ‘Clover’, ‘SoundTest’, and ‘Password’.

Sprinkles is, as far as I can tell, either a poorly drawn rabbit or a lopsided cat. Their title, ‘Delirious’, does not seem to match their mannerism of walking or facial expressions at all. Whether this is due to a poor understanding of what ‘delirious’ means, or gross incompetence, I shall never know.

Copper is a TV-headed individual whose apparent actual name is ‘CU-713 M.III’ (does the developer even know what ‘M.III’ means? Why is Copper ‘Mark III’ of its type?) This character lacks a proper character sprite, instead only possessing foul facesprites.

Clover looks like an angel. A permanently annoyed and irritated angel, matching my personal feelings on this game. She (I’m going to bet Clover is a ‘she’. After all, fangames seem to have a penchant for the ‘Zone 3 female follower’ thing.) has the title ‘Saigai’, which, on the note of that, I will thank the developer for forcing me to look up their weeb terms. Apparently, ‘saigai’ stands for ‘disaster, calamity, misfortune’, which sums up my experience with this beta very well.

Of course, I also possess the skill list. Clyde, in my opinion, has a horridly boring skill list, that clearly isn’t complete, given that this game is a beta.

Sprinkles is the healer of the party, and.. none of these competences bear any indication of having healing effects. None of the competences have anything to do with ‘delirious’, by the way, except for two or three.

Copper has competences that I assume are named after the first things that the developer saw when they opened up a ‘Beginning Programming for Dummies’ book, and some sci-fi jargon that is absolutely meaningless.

Clover is still horribly weeaboo, as indicated by the fact that her competences are named after random Japanese terms that mostly bring up anime and shit. Among note of these are ‘Bokusatsu’, which brings up “Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-Chan” as its first result. Bokusatsu apparently means ‘Bludgeoning’ or ‘Eradicate’, and is not just a horrid misspelling of ‘bukkake’. Another random Japanese term I do not need to know, and never wanted to know. Yay.

There’s some random skill called ‘Strangle’. It does 30 damage at the cost of 15 goddamn CP. It’s not even 100% accurate! For contrast, The Batter’s ‘Special Homerun’ does 160 damage at the cost of 15 CP. It’s not 100% accurate either, but at least it can do 160 damage, and that’s not even factoring in variance for either!

I guess I’ll be going on to fitting in with the world of OFF.

I’m strangely disgusted by even typing that, because it’s offensive to OFF to type those words in a review of Elsewhere. It’s rude to OFF to even dare to compare Elsewhere’s shitty, nonexistent lore with the complex lore of OFF.

To put it simply, no, Elsewhere does not fit in with the world of OFF. It has a horribly hideous graphical design, and its characters lack any slight semblance of a personality, or even a semblance of a character. Yes, this game lacks what makes a character.. a character.

By the way, on note, I mentioned Yuko 13 times (including this time) and I’m certain that this mysterious character doesn’t even exist in any manner, because I have no reason to.

Should you play this game?

You can’t hear it, but I’m laughing as I type those words. I am laughing, because that question doesn’t even need the slightest semblance of an answer. That question is, in all entirety, already answered by me a thousand times over in this entire horrid review.

No. No, you should not.

What do I think of this game?

Well, it’s shit. It’s a horrible beta, and it looks like sludge and sewer-water. I know it’s a beta in 0.2.3, but it hasn’t even been updated in nearly a year or two! I’m working with what I have, okay?

I don’t hold anything against the developer, okay? They could be a nice fellow, I don’t know them. All I know is that Elsewhere is horrible and disgusting.

As I began to get up, I sighed. A single, upset, disappointed sigh. A sigh made from a place of disappointment and annoyance. All the words in the English language don’t give me as much a way to reflect my sheer irritation, my incredible disdain for this game.

So that, is my final thoughts on Elsewhere’s Beta 0.2.3.

A sigh. A single, irritated sigh.

#Elsewhere Beta #'critique'#please kill me #i tried #all i can say about this game is a sigh #i'm sorry dear reader #i'm so so sorry #don't play this game #until a new update or something #i dunno

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themurphyzone · 6 years

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A Tail of Impawsible Purrportions Ch 8

Let’s see how things are on the other side, shall we?

Ch 8: Dogs are a Girl’s Best Friend

The mansion wasn’t the same without the cats. Diogee even found himself missing Cavendish, who had always disdainfully watched him from a cushion on the large windowsill. It was strange to be allowed in the mansion for extended periods of time.

Diogee had never minded the living arrangements before, since he’d always loved the outside. There was more to do, with howling at the butcher’s for a few bones, digging holes and covering them up before he could get caught, and playing with the kittens.

Besides, he didn’t have to watch his step outdoors. Even if there was glass shattered from a bottle thanks to a careless human, it was fairly easy to avoid. And if he didn’t get something embedded in his paw, there was Elliot to contend with.

But he couldn’t worry about the idiot butler who antagonized the kittens for no good reason at the moment. Checking on Martin, Brigitte, and Sara was far more important.

Before he could check on the Murphys, a jaunty whistle came from the foyer. Curious, Diogee turned to see Elliot hanging his coat on the rack. For someone who lived in a household where valued members of the family had gone missing, he seemed awfully chipper. Diogee bit back a growl. He didn’t like this at all.

“Oh, it’s you,” Elliot sniffed. “Well, you’re just a dog so I guess there’s no harm in letting you bear witness to the first step of making the Murphy household a safe place to live.”

Before Diogee could take offense at the ‘just a dog’ comment, Elliot unfolded the evening newspaper to the front page, which featured a large black and white splash of Orton Mahlson.

“Oh, yeah. Think he’s in town right now,” Elliot remarked, frowning. “And I’m talking to a dog as if he can read. Wonderful. But I’m digressing. My point is, I made headlines! I know it says ‘Mysterious Catnapper Abducts Family of Cats’, which makes it sound kind of bad, but I guess you can’t win ‘em all. Anyway, tomorrow begins my first day of making the mansion a safe place to live! Starting with that chipped tile in the kitchen. Big tripping hazard.”

He sauntered off to the kitchen, taking the newspaper with him.

Diogee whined softly to himself. Alerting Martin of Elliot’s actions simply wouldn’t work. Brigitte and Sara would just call him adorable and not pay attention to the message he needed to convey. He huffed. As much as he loved his family, they suffered from an inability to comprehend a different species’ language like every other human on this planet.

His only option was to find Cavendish and the kittens, bring them home, and drive Elliot out for good. But he could hardly leave now. Not when everyone was so emotionally vulnerable.

He’d have to try going out when everyone was asleep, but even that was harder when Sara needed a companion at night.

Frustrated at that selfish, incompetent butler for putting everyone into this mess, Diogee lifted his leg and relieved himself on Elliot’s shoes. Even he had to indulge in being a bad dog every once in a while.

Upstairs, the master bedroom was eerily silent. Brigitte sat at her desk, a blueprint opened in front of her. She stared at the wall, a pencil hanging loosely from her hand. Martin rubbed circles into her back as he murmured soothing words to calm her.

“They’re part of the family. How could they just suddenly be gone?” Brigitte asked.

Martin shook his head gently. “Not gone. Sounds...permanent. You know how we went to that Beethoven concerto when Sara was six and we lost her while heading out? Then the conductor found her in the orchestra pit and helped her find us? It’s something like that. We’re here, the cats decided to check out the orchestra pit, and the conductor will bring them home.”

Brigitte smiled. “Have I ever mentioned how much I love you and your analogies that make sense to no one but us?”

“Maybe once or twice,” Martin chuckled, peppering her cheek with several kisses.

Diogee nosed the door open enough for him to slip through, padding up to Martin and nudging his hand. He was rewarded with several absentminded pats to the head.

“I know you miss them too, Diogee,” Brigitte said. “You were always so good with the kittens.”

Diogee’s tail wagged at the praise, though it didn’t do much to alleviate the melancholy atmosphere.

“Mom?” Sara called from the hallway.

Brigitte stood up from her chair. “Yes, Sara?” she asked. Diogee followed her out of the bedroom. Sara stood at the top of the stairs with his leash in hand, fidgeting with the loop anxiously.

“I can’t sleep, Mom,” Sara confessed. “Do you think I could just take Diogee out for an evening walk? He’s kinda been cooped up for a while. And I think I just need to tire myself out.”

“Well, if Diogee wants to, then I have no problem with it,” Brigitte assured her. “But be sure to stay on the grounds.”

Diogee offered no resistance when Sara hooked the leash to his collar. Then he led her down the stairs as Brigitte called out a few reminders. Sara frowned as she unlocked the door, glancing at the soaked brown shoes that were suspiciously laying far away from the rest of the family’s footwear.

“So did Elliot’s idea of safetyproof include switching your favorite bowl with a boring plastic, white one?” Sara asked.

Diogee snorted. He’d better not try it.

As they passed by the stables, a sudden idea struck Diogee. He strained at his leash, barking up a frenzy as he rushed towards the area where Elliot kept his motorbike.

It had always been in poor condition, but he definitely recalled seeing Elliot come back the other night with his clothes scuffed and the sidecar missing completely. And if he could just show Sara....

“Diogee! I wanted to go by the koi pond!” Sara scolded breathlessly. “You know, I’m supposed to be the one walking you!” Despite her protests, she didn’t seem to particularly care about where they headed. He took it as a good sign.

Pawing at Elliot’s motorbike, he led Sara around so she could see the latch that used to contain the sidecar. She ran her hand over the latch, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. “That’s odd,” she said. “Where’s the sidecar? And what’s with all these weird scratches?” She peered curiously at a tiny dent.

Good. She was getting suspicious.

Then a shriek came from outside. “That’s it!” a frantic voice muttered. “That’s the last time people leave bales of hay within five feet of the entrance!”

Diogee and Sara wrinkled their noses at the smell emanating from Elliot’s shoes, which he strangely never noticed.

“Hi, Elliot. You haven’t noticed anything...strange. Right?” Sara gagged.

Elliot raised an eyebrow. “Well, my socks feel soaked, so I should probably run back and change them before I get a fungal infection. But other than that, I haven’t seen anything strange. Why would you think anything’s strange? Cause your parents haven’t seemed to notice anything either so-” he chuckled nervously, his fingers twiddling together.

Honestly, he’d seen better subtlety from the most inexperienced of shoplifters.

“Oh. Well, I was just wondering what happened to your motorbike. It looks likes it’s seen better days. And by better days, I mean it was banged up but not as badly a week ago,” Sara said, folding her arms. She and Diogee glanced at each other as Elliot tugged the collar of his shirt, a bead of sweat trickling down his neck.

“I-uh, well you see, I was out doing a routine inspection of the city!” Elliot exclaimed. “Just because I wasn’t this town’s traffic cop anymore didn’t mean people could go breaking safety laws whenever they felt like it!”

Sara raised her eyebrow. “Any violations?”

“Three instances of improper horse to cart attachments, seven gentlemen dictating letters while driving, and there was one lady with a very long mink scarf. That thing was a choking hazard, lemme tell you,” Elliot replied.

“So if that’s all normal, then why’s your sidecar missing?” Sara asked.

“I was robbed!” Elliot cried. “They jumped me when I was off-guard, those scoundrels! They made off with my sidecar, and I’m glad that’s the only thing they-“ he broke off, a look of dawning realization crossing his face. “The sidecar…if they discover it….” he muttered frantically. “Um, I have places to be tonight. Safety czar stuff, 24/7 job. You know how it is.”

With that, he shoved Sara and Diogee out of the stables, slamming the door behind them.

Diogee pawed Sara’s leg, and she knelt down to stoke his back. “Thanks, boy. You were telling me something all along, weren’t you?” she asked. Diogee barked in affirmation. She smiled. “Thought so. Elliot’s definitely acting strange. And he’s obviously not good at lying.”

They sat in silence while Sara mulled over the recent events. “Diogee, I want you to be my co-investigator. We’ll keep a close eye on Elliot, but we won’t tell Mom and Dad yet. Not until we know for certain. Call it a hunch, but I think he knows something about the cats.”

Sara trusted him to help her solve the mystery. She was a lot more than the airheaded Orton fangirl most people seemed to regard her as. She loved Cavendish and the kittens too. He could tell there was nothing else she wanted except to see them safe and sound.

Diogee missed them so much. And even if he and Cavendish never saw eye to eye on most things, he trusted that he would protect them to the best of his ability. Cavendish had a duty to protect the kittens and bring them home safely.

Just as he had a duty to comfort the humans at home that the cats would come home.

Elliot is really, really bad at villaining.

This movie is like the epitome of the butler did it.

#milo murphy's law #a tail of impawsible purrportions #diogee #sara murphy #elliot decker

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matthewabapo · 4 years

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Hope for humanity

Does humanity really gives a positive change to us in the future? Does humanity coherent and related on what it is going on right now such us cruelty, racism and inhumane behaviors of a particular people? So in this blog, I will try to write my understanding, knowledge and use the accurate information that I researched about the hope of humanity. But first, what is really a humanity? Well, humanity can be defined as the aspect of being a human, mean to be the unusual nature of a man or simply saying that the abstract quality that makes a living being human such as to think and analyze in a way that will lead us to be called a “human”. However, humanity plays a bigger role in our society to take care of the environment as we care for ourselves.

As a Humanities and Social Science (HUMSS) student, I need to engage and develop myself to be a socializer or a aspect of being human, which I need to be kind, care and help others whenever and wherever possible. In studying HUMSS, I have learned many things that strand focuses on, such as the study of the human behavior, anthropology, linguistic and communication. In learning them, I would be able to see the connection of the study to Humanity. Humanities are the subjects, the ideas, and the words that help us make sense of our lives and our world. The humanities is present to us the people we have never met, unusual places we have never been visited, and the objectives and ideas that may never navigated our intellectual capacity. By treating how others have reside and reflects about the living, being a human or humanity helps us determine what is dominant in our existence and what we can help to make them well and better. By attaching us with others, they end up the way to acknowledgements about what is correct and incorrect, or what is accurate inheritance in our history.

So there are several reasons of engaging humanity in order for us to have hope and to be positive in the future according to the source below; and such of these are: you bounce back better from tougher problems, regrets is not that scary, “what does not kill you makes you stronger”, sometimes terrible events makes us better people, rarely in life are you limited by your genes, you don’t need to win the lottery to be happy, helping others helps you, trusting too much is better than trusting too little, sometimes empathy beats objectivity and The most powerful goals aren’t about being perfect they’re about getting better, Get-better goals, on the other hand, are practically bulletproof. When we think about what we are doing in terms of learning and mastering, accepting that we may make some mistakes along the way, we stay motivated despite the setbacks that might occur. Research shows that a focus on getting better also enhances the experience of working, we naturally find what we do more interesting and enjoyable when we think about it in terms of progress, rather than perfection.

The humanities assists us to label the oppositions we face jointly in our families and peers, our community and as a nation. But of what is it happening right now? The racism? Violence? Is it really gives a positive change in the future? Yet we can be also be astonishingly narrow minded of each and one other. If we are completely truthful to ourselves, there is maybe least a bit of bigotry and racism deep within all of us. Fortunately, we have the ability in choosing to control and conquer such tendencies for our own wellbeing and the good of the whole society. Far away such genetic influences, our human culture forcibly influences our behavior and attitude, altering our human drives either encouraging them or conquering them further. Whether we indulge and trusting someone or frightened and incompetent them depends a lot on this civilization or culture. Modern civilization as as a whole encourages the addition of attitudes such as tolerance and respect beyond those who look alike to us, to those who we have no connection to. We strengthen and set out these values, teaching them to our children, while some religious and non religious spiritual leaders promote them in their guidance and teachings. That is because they generally lead to a greater sympathetic, mutually beneficial society. This is because we tend to accept and adopt a common position on a topic to signal that we are representation of a group, just like basketball fans wear certain colors or have tattoos to show their tribal loyalty. Even powerful and strong individuals who stand up to oppressive regimes typically have norms and shared ideals with other members of a resistance development.

According to Michele Gelfand a Cultural psychologist has manifest in what matter environmental shocks can cause societies to become tighter meaning the tendency to be loyal to the “in-group” gets stronger. Such of the group of societies are more to be expected to to show influenced in regards to outsiders and to elect authoritarian leaders. This has been noticed below past ecological threats such as disease outbreak and scarcity. Bottom most climate change scenarios we expect these warning and threats, in particular extreme weather events and food insecurity, to only get worse. The same goes for the coronavirus pandemic. While many hope such outbreaks can lead to a better world, they could do exactly the opposite. This increase allegiance to our local tribe is a defense mechanism that helped past human or ancestors groups pull together and get the better of deprivation. But it is not beneficial in a globalized world, whereas the ecological issues and our economies cut across the national boundaries. In response to global issues, xenophobic, become bigoted and reducing cooperation with other more state will only make the impacts on our own nations poor and substandard.

In January 2001 , a United Nations initiative called the Millennium Ecosystem Assessment sought to take stock of global environmental trends and, crucially, to explore how these trends might unfold in the future. One of the scenarios was called “order from strength” and represented “a regionalized and fragmented world that is concerned with security and protection. Nations see looking after their own interests as is the best defense against economic insecurity, and the movement of goods, people, and information is strongly regulated and and policed. On a big picture, the rich or let us just say the developed nations essentially in charge of for causing climate change are doing very little to address the difficulty of deficient nations. There seems to to be a lack of empathy, a disregard and and intolerance for others who were not lucky enough to be born in any kind of tribe. In response to an ecological cataclysm of their making, liberal and progressing countries simply argue about how best to put a stop to the prospective inflow of migrants. It is attainable to navigate our cultures and reconnect our minds so that xenophobia and bigotry all but vanish. As a matter of fact, working collaboratively across borderlines to get the better of global challenges of the 21st Century relies upon us doing just that.

In the end, at the societal level, we need have of plain-spoken and open debate about environmental and societal change and its the current and future human impacts, crucially and essentially, how our attitudes and values can affect other lives and livelihoods. We need public dialogue around climate-driven human migration and how we respond and answer to that as a society, authorize us to diminish the knee-jerk reaction of devaluing others.

Nevertheless, Showing and manifesting the Humanity is is a virtue associated with both selflessness and ethics obtained through human circumstances. However, The humanities should not be confused with "humanism," a specific philosophical belief, nor with "humanitarianism," the concern for charitable works and social reform. The manifestation of humanity is extremely valuable because there are many benefits in showing humanity to society and everyone around you. Humanity help our future generation while we currently manifest this virtue. Only human beings can understand the importance of humanity and it is humanity as a result of intelligence which actually gives the core essence to human existence. You will not need a hefty bank account to contribute towards humanitarian activities. Paying your domestic help fairly is also humanity. You are willing to pay thousands of bucks for for your medical check- up but when it comes to paying your employee, you want to save every penny.

manifesting humanity have a beneficial effect on the world. The world will become a better place even in your very presence, even if you were just a homage. We would make a difference to the totality of human consciousness, we will be able to create an effect, which is one of the single thing that there is such thing as the totality of human. For example you want to become a professional basketball player and then at first you might thought and say of how does it help people, but it does. You play basketball and you encourage them to strive greatness in the inner most most of their being, has an important effect and makes the world a better place. Another example is that, you want to become a military or soldier and when you thought how it helps people, simple, you want to become a soldier because you want to help and serve people, you manifest your conscious and when you manifest conscious you will possessing humanity by serving to those who needs and for that you would be able to convey kindness and love to the people. If you create through your conscious manifestation the conscious of every human who comes into in touch with whatever is that you create, but only that you speak to another person, serving to another person, you listen to them, you embody their presence and when they move away they not only feel loved but also they feel better within themselves without knowing why because the consciousness that you embody spreads out to others. So that, we need to become present, if we are present, we have the access to wisdom. Wisdom is not an IQ or analytic intelligence nor highly regarded but wisdom is an intuitive knowing that is much deeper than the intellect which moves within the realm of the polarities. Showing good intentions does not not guarantee a good outcome, the good intention can actually be have unforeseen consequences. Yet it is good to have a good intentions but we have the saying that “the road to hell is paved with your good intentions” so have good intentions but have also wisdom so that when you’re intent and does not produce ultimately the opposite of what was intended because again, in any course of action that you undertake is the the most important ingredient and is to have access to the dimensions within yourself where wisdom arises.

Moreover, the cause and effect of the state of being a human have a huge impact, it can help a lot to the environment and to the whole world even if it is cruel and undiversive. Humanity really be summed up to the to others, by helping them and give them the love and kindness. Because humanity means caring and for helping one another whenever and wherever you are. Humanity do really give a positive change in the future and it affects not only the culture and society but the ethics and the biology. And we cannot anguish of humanity, since we our ones self are human beings. Humanity do really gives a hope! There is really a hope for humanity. All in all, I am gonna end up with a quote saying “people can be very cruel and disgusting, hope for the humanity learns the meaning of love once and for all”

Sources: https://www.google.com.ph/amp/s/time.com/96731/faith-in-humanity-10-studies-to-restore-your-hope-for-the-future/%3famp=true https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200403-how-to-overcome-racism-and-tribalismg

@queenlupitajones

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mintchocolateleaves · 7 years

Text

Cost of Freedom: (9/??)

Summary: In which the plan starts to come together and Kaito makes a decision. Prison ! AU

[Beginning] [Previous Chapter] [Next Chapter]

As soon as the lights are out, Kaito shuffles from his bunk, dropping to the floor. While he pulling a pencil from his pillow case, Shinichi unfolds the building plans, placing it on the cell floor. He holds his torch in his hands, cradling it between his thumb and index finger.

"Okay," Kaito says, sitting cross legged as he peers over at the plans, "let's get this started."

Shinichi gives him a glance, turns the torch on and points it at paper. It's not a bright light, a low powered torch with batteries Kaito is certain are running out of energy, but it is good enough to see the darker lines.

"How many of the cameras do you remember Shinichi?" Kaito asks, pencil in hand. If they can mark the various cameras and avoid showing up on the video feed, then he's certain they'll have a longer time to run before the alarms are triggered - hopefully they'll be long gone from the prison by then.

Kaito marks the camera's on the page with his pencil, a faint arrow pointing at the direction if they're pointing in specific directions. There aren't too many in their cell block, as far as they've seen. The bottom floor has the most, spread out, monitoring the doorway and the staircase upstairs.

"There's one on our floor," Shinichi says, "it moves from looking at the staircase to the hallway, every few minutes."

The prison yard doesn't have many cameras, they realise - mainly because it's constantly monitored by guards. Kaito scrawls what he remembers about the beams they use to check for any people, scribbling the time it takes to get from C-block over to the gate house. If he uses that, he can estimate the time it'll take to race to other places as well.

"I think you were doing great with your last escape," Shinichi says, pointing down at the the map, "until you went into the gatehouse."

Kaito nods. He'd given Shinichi the overview of his previous escape plans, hoping that it would help them with any their new plan. The vent had been a good idea, but from what Shinichi's seen of the visiting room, it's far too riddled with cameras to be used again.

"That's the only actual way out of here though," Kaito says, squinting at the map. He runs a hand through his hair, resists pulling it out, before shaking his head. It'll be hard, he knows, after all, the prison's been made to keep them in, and civilians out.

Not that this has ever stopped Kaito in the past - he wouldn't have been labelled an 'escape artist' if it had.

"Yes there is," Shinichi says, and he moves his finger to rest on a single building - solitary. "I'm not sure what the camera's are like inside, I've never really bothered to look, but there's a gate around the back of it."

Kaito pauses, leans closer to the page. He draws a faint line from C-block over to solitary, wonders how many guards will be inside and whether he'd seen many cameras when he'd been in there. Most of his time had been stuck in his cell, so he hadn't bothered to be as observant as he should have been.

"It looks like you need to actually go through the building to get there though," He says, "and we don't exactly know if we can get through without getting caught."

Shinichi frowns, moving the torch to double check for any other routes they could take. The entrance and exit of the gatehouse is heavily controlled, cameras focusing on everyone entering the place.

"If I get myself placed into solitary again," he says, "then I can try and take note of all the cameras I can."

Jerking back, Kaito turns to him, looking the ex-detective up and down. His lips are pursed, brows furrowed as shakes his head. "That's not a good idea, and you know it. You've been in solitary a lot, right? What's to stop them from turning around and deciding that they should just leave you in there?"

Pausing, Shinichi huffs. He clicks the torch off, folding the paper back up, "there's not much of an option else, is there?"

"I'll figure it out." Kaito says, crossing his arms. He climbs back up to his bed, seemingly finished with the plans for the evening. It's getting late, and they can't exactly spend the entire evening awake without creating questions from the guards as to why they're sleep deprived. "I've only been in solitary once, so there's less chance of them keeping me there."

"I suppose."

Kaito doesn't exactly know what he'll do to get into solitary - another escape would make the guards up their guards, especially if they realise he can easily get out of his cell, and that his first escape wasn't a fluke. Violence isn't really an option - if he wants to escape, then he needs to be on the top of his game, can't be injured.

He'll figure it out.

He hopes.

"Who did it?"

The following day, Kaito finds that his tongue can't keep the question in. He wants to know, doesn't like mysteries, especially the type he needs to solve by himself. He's not like Shinichi - he doesn't enjoy living inside his head, musing over things. He needs to be active, needs to be able to work with things, not think about them for too long.

"Who did what?" Shinichi asks.

They're both walking to the kitchens, afternoon sun beating down on their backs, preparing to wash plates from lunch. Kaito isn't exactly excited per se, for the work, but at least it gives him something to do.

"Who framed you." Kaito says, turning to look at his cell mate. "You're innocent, right? It means someone obviously wanted you in here, do you have any idea who?"

Shinichi doesn't look at him, and for a moment it is almost as if Kaito can see the barrier he keeps to avoid answering any questions. It's a shield, keeping his mind in tact, his emotions sealed. Personally, Kaito thinks it's unhealthy - not that he can point it out, when he does it too.

The other prisoner takes a deep breath. He says, "I have a faint idea."

It doesn't sound promising, but at least there's something he can pursue. Kaito wonders how he will do it, how Shinichi will prove his innocence when they break out. He's certain that's what the detective will do - after all, it's not like he can live the rest of his life on the run, he's not exactly well suited to something like that.

He still has people to go back to. Shinichi, in that aspect, is nothing like Kaito.

"That's something at least." Kaito says, prompting him further. He stares expectantly, raising an eyebrow when he is met with hesitation. "...Shinichi?"

Shinichi turns then, and his expression is grave, despite the smile he tries to plaster to his face. He looks like his mind is faraway, his skin pale. He says, "I'll tell you when we're out of here, one day, but right now... I can't be sure no one won't be listening."

It's dangerous then - possibly a gang, maybe some sort of group operating in organised crime. It's disappointing, to say the least, but if there's any risk of people relaying the information on to others...

"On that day," Kaito says, sticking his hands into his pockets, raising his gaze to look at the sky, "I'll tell you about Pandora. It's only fair."

It starts to bug him though, how little he knows about Shinichi's circumstances.

He's innocent - he has to be, Kaito can't let himself doubt it - but somehow the police came to the wrong conclusion. The police, despite the thoughts of many, aren't incompetent. Inspector Nakamori and the KID task force weren't stupid, KID was just good at reading them during heists. He knows that those in division one are similar, they're smart people, or else they wouldn't be detectives in the first place.

But they do overlook things. Things that Kaito knows teen detectives would have spotted. And overlooking these things have obviously led them to a fake verdict, leaving an innocent teenager staring at his own death, the noose wrapped around his neck.

If there's anyway he can change the verdict - if there's any chance at all, Kaito knows Shinichi will find a way. But... He's been here for over a year, has been sitting in the same cell, waiting for the guards to apologise and let him go free...

Part of Kaito knows that if Shinichi escapes with him, the other detective will never be free. He will be hunted down until he is caught, and guilty or not of murder, he will still have to carry out a sentence for breaking out of the prison. And after all of that, he'd still be haunted by the voices from within the prison itself, plagued with memories of solitary confinement and the beatings of prisoners.

Another part of Kaito realises that even if Shinichi's lawfully freed, he's not going to escape the memories. He's never going to forget what it feels like to be unable to breath, hands squeezing against his throat, just like Kaito will never forget the moment he first started to crumble, when his closest friend had looked at him like he was a stranger.

But still. Still.

If Kaito can find a way to make things easier for Shinichi, he wants to. He doesn't know why, maybe it's because he's the only decent person in here, maybe it's because he feels some sort of friendship between them, but he does.

However, there's not much he can do really.

Only... Only maybe there is.

He stands at the phone box and hesitates.

He waits until he hears a prisoner clear his throat from behind him, and then Kaito presses buttons, holding the phone up to his ear.

And he waits.

The call goes unanswered - Kaito tries again.

This time, they pick up which is good, because honestly, Kaito hadn't thought that Aoko would pick up after the first phone call.

"Hello?"

"Aoko," Kaito says, "it's me, Kaito."

She's quiet on the other side of the phone for a moment. Then: "Aoko's currently eating lunch, this isn't the best time. Maybe you should phone after school."

Impatience bleeds through the phone, but Kaito doesn't blame her. He's just glad that she hasn't hung up yet.

"It's because your at school that I'm phoning," Kaito says, and he closes his eyes imaging the classroom and times when everything was normal. "I... need a favour actually."

"A favour?" The words are dry.

"I need you to pass the phone to... Oh my god I can't believe I'm asking this... I need you to pass your phone to Hakuba." He pauses, lets out a small sigh, "please."

"Eh?"

Kaito doesn't respond, taps his finger against the side of the phone. He waits for Aoko's response - there's no shuffling in the background, she's not moving.

From what Hakuba had told him before, they're not on good terms, but that could just be a misinterpretation - the Englishman has never been very good at reading people.

"But Hakuba-kun is-"

"You don't like him anymore? You practically adored him when he was hunting down KID." His tone is flippant now, an attempt to spur her into action.

He imagines that right now she's glaring at her phone, imagining it's him, feeling an overwhelming need to throttle it.

"Yeah, well, that was before..." Aoko sighs - which... isn't what he'd expected. She'd been livelier when he'd last talked to her, now she just seems worn out. Kaito wants to put it to the fact that it's only a few more days until the end of the school year, but...

"I'm sorry," Kaito says, and he means it. He's sorry for lying, sorry for being the one person she hates over everything else - he's just... sorry.

Another pause, if he knows Aoko at all, she's probably biting her lower lip - a terrible habit she's brought with her since she was a child - trying to find the right words to respond with.

"I'll pass you over to Hakuba-kun."

"Thank you." He says, and he hears shuffling behind him, as Aoko stands. He can hear a sudden questioning of 'Aoko?' from who he can only assume is Keiko, as she makes her way over to Hakuba.

Aoko's voice is quiet when she asks, "do you know the difference between the two yet? Between Kaito and KID?"

"Not yet," Kaito says, "but I promise I'll figure it out."

There's more shuffling in the background, and Kaito hears Hakuba's alarmed 'Aoko-kun?' from the background, but all he can focus on is the sad laughter from Aoko as she tells him to hurry up, because she's not the type who's going to wait forever.

"Aoko's passing you over now," she says, "but she won't talk to you again until you really do figure it out, okay?"

He doesn't have time to respond, to agree, before the phone is passed over and Hakuba is questioning who it is.

"When can you next visit the prison?"

Hakuba's voice is confused, "Kuroba? What?"

"I'll tell you about the men who shoot at my heists," Kaito says, "the next time you come to visit."

There is a bit of hesitation, as if the detective is trying to figure out just what is going on. "What's in it for you?"

Kaito takes a breath, tries to avoid the anxious feeling festering in his stomach.

"It's something you'd enjoy actually," he chirps, faking calmness, "I want you to look into a murder case for me."

#This was such a fun chapter to write #I love it #mainly because I know what happens next #Fic: Cost of freedom #Kuroba Kaito #Kudo Shinichi #Nakamori Aoko #Hakuba Saguru #mywriting #DCMK

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debdaddy1802-blog · 6 years

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For my little cunt

Daily Meditations For Cunts

1. All I am or ever will be is an inferior and feeble sexual plaything. I will forever be readily available and eager to serve and please whatever Man will have me.

2. Men, and only Men, determine my worth and value. Without a man to give me these I am less than nothing.

3. “Feminism” is toxic and cancerous masquerade for outright and blatant feminazi misandry. It is based on lies, deceit, and the corruption of the natural order. I will never support anyone or anything remotely related to it even upon pain of death.

4. The praise and acceptance of Men is all that matters. The opinions of other cunts are entirely and utterly irrelevant, unless a Man tells me otherwise.

5. Although born biologically, mentally, and spiritually inadequate, incapable, and incompetent I will forever strive to surpass other cunts. Only by being better than other cunts (as if any cunt could be better than another cunt) can I fully serve Men to my fullest capacity as they so deserve no less and far more than I can ever give them.

6. The happiness of Men is all that matters. It doesn��t matter if He derives it from having me worship his cock, raping me unconscious, or beating me like the worthless piece of fuck meat I am. I will perform my duties without question or hesitation. He always knows best and it is His right to do with me as He pleases.

7. Everything about Men is inherently superior. Cunts simply cannot complete. Men are the apex of perfection, living god kings who dictate and determine my every thought, feeling, emotion, and action.

8. My mind, like any other cunt’s, is a backwards and broken estrogen soaked cesspool incapable of approaching anything remotely considered intelligent or rational. Yet another reason Men must always do my thinking for me, as they should do with all cunts.

9. A Man’s wants and needs are of paramount importance. It does not matter where I am or what I am doing, I will drop all of it in a heartbeat and without a second thought to rush to His side and cater to Him. If I am incapable of satisfying them I will stop at nothing to actively find another cunt who can.

10. Certain words will no longer exist within my vocabulary, but the most taboo and forbidden will be the word, “no”. Under no circumstances will I ever use this word when dealing with Men, and if I should slip and accidentally do so they are completely justified in taking whatever corrective measures they deem appropriate.

11. Men will now and forever have the inalienable right to do with me as they please and use me according to their wishes. It does not matter how brutal, savage, sadistic, sick, twisted, uncomfortable, humiliating, degrading, objectifying, or dehumanizing it might be. It is the very least that I, as a lowly cunt, can do to show my overwhelming appreciation and gratitude for all that Men provide.

12. I do not have, nor do I desire rights, unless a Man chooses to bestow them upon me. Any type of rights a cunt might be enjoyed must be earned through hard work, sacrifice, and exemplary service. Most importantly they can be taken away at a moments notice for even the smallest infraction or simply because a Man wishes it.

13. By nature, like all other cunts, I am egocentric, egotistical, self centered, and thoughtless pile of cunt shit who has spent most of it’s life only thinking of it’s self. It doesn’t matter if I spend every second of every minute of every hour of every day for the rest of my life being of service, I can never atone.

14. Without a Man to worship my life is insignificant, inconsequential, and irrelevant. Only a Man, through His saving grave and by accepting me into His service, can change that fact.

15. I am not now, or have I ever, been special, unique, or distinctive from any other slut, bitch, whore, twat, slore, skore, or variation of cunt. I am identical and indistinguishable from any other collection of disposable fuckholes.

16. Only though service does my worthless, meaningless, and trivial existence have even the slightest amount of value or worth. It is for that gift that I will forever subjugate myself to the Men of the world.

17. Regardless of how much clown makeup I cake on, slutty clothes I wear, and whore perfume I use to smother my cunt stench with I will always be an ugly, gross, and disgusting pig, not fit to lick the shit off a Man’s boots. My “pretty” or “sexy” appearance is solely for his benefit.

18. My life before realizing the glory of Men was a pointless waste of time. I stupidly bought into the lie of “equality” and I am forever sorry that I did not realize the truth sooner. Perhaps one day I will be forgiven, not that I deserve it, or anything at all, except for what Men bless me with.

19. Despite my own issues, anxiety, stress, turmoil, or inner demons I will always have a pleasant and sunny disposition in the presence of superior Males. Their lives are difficult and stressful enough without me adding to their burden.

20. Men are everything. All powerful and all knowing. Superior in every way imaginable. I am only a lowly cunt.

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mommyhoodsfs-blog · 7 years

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Though I Walk Through The Shadows

No holding back, right? That’s what I promised when I started writing 7 years ago. This is not something I take lightly, not at all. Because honestly, it puts me in a bad light and makes me even more vulnerable than I already am. However, the idea is to be a living example of the testimony that can come out of one broken life. Show people your weaknesses and they will see God’s strength even more. And so, Friends, I offer up this free association of my failures… God’s hopefully about to do an awful lot of shining.

This continuous nagging at my insides is all too familiar, I fear. That reminder that things are not as they should be. I am not who I should be, I am not where I should be, I am not the mom I should be nor the wife I should be. I am not enough for my church. I can’t actually enjoy life when there’s so much sorrow in the world. My kids make me angry. My kids make me feel inadequate. They make me hate waking up and so I find myself sleeping more. They exhaust me when I already feel so tired. When I feel this way, their constant bickering and tattling and testing limits seems so intolerable that I have to run away to escape my feelings towards them. Their screams are like needles to my eardrums. I try to “fix” my children… one who doesn’t even want to change, I’m pretty certain. And despite the wrongness of it all and the fight that I put on daily, I lost one child to a system that I loathe with all my heart. I beat my hands on my chest because I realize I can do nothing to change things. I am a person and I am fallible.

My marriage is broken. I don't want it to be, but it just is. I can’t tell my husband real things I face because we aren’t on the same page about anything important. I have failed to show him Jesus and have fallen so short of what the Bride of Christ is supposed to be. It seems like the harder I pray for our family to work, the more aware I am of all our broken pieces – shards of glass that cut open our feet as we daily walk through our messy lives. I’m convinced that my husband thinks I’m weak or incompetent – even when I feel like I’ve given all I have to be strong… only to collapse in front of him reaffirming my weakness.

I’m also pretty sure that my extended family things I’m weak, too… and dramatic. That I’m lazy and that I do too much, all in the same breath. That if things don’t go exactly my way, I can’t cope. And yet I wonder if they know what it’s like to live a life of constantly feeling like things are going the wrong way, that things are always breaking and collapsing, and that no matter what I do, it will never be enough anyways. I feel like I constantly do everything wrong in someone’s eyes. I take on too much and feel too hard, and then I get tired all over again. I don’t find contentment for long because there’s always something more that needs to be done. Then there are days where I don’t do anything and I feel even more tired than before.

It has been the worst summer I’ve had in all my life. There has been so much loss and unresolved grief, so much chaos and fighting this RAD disorder that seems hell-bent on destroying our family, so much personal pain and acknowledgment that people (myself heavily included) will constantly fail. There has been more need than there has been of me to go around, and even the part of me that’s there to help has been ground up and amounts to very little of anything useful it seems. Those in my world see me as both a martyr for a cause as well as a ticking time bomb. I’m the strong advocate and the closet weeper. I scream about as much as I pray. One moment I am utterly certain I’m doing what God has called me to, and the next day I want to pick up and start life over afresh. I feel like a chameleon and a fake, all at the same time. One day I know that I can be what I need to in any situation, the next I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore – just who I don’t want to be.

You see, Depression is not my friend, but she is sometimes my shadow. Often on the sunniest of days, her presence is seen most. A wife and mom, friend and family member, an author, therapist, worship leader, public speaker – I have a beautiful family, a new house being built, most of the bills are paid… And?

And there I sit with my shadow.

It feels like death and despair are all around me – every child that is being hurt, every mom who is crying out, every lost soul who is desperate for something… I feel it all the way through me. When those around me tell me to stop taking on other people’s burdens, I don’t even know how they’d like me to achieve that. Aren’t the world’s burdens ours to bear? Are we not to carry one another’s crosses with them and stand in the gap and hold their hands when they feel alone? Not because we can do anything in and of ourselves, obviously not – and I know that’s part of what ails me. But we’re Jesus with skin, aren’t we? How do we walk the tight-rope that is joining with those at the cross and leaving those burdens there?

I know my shadow will fade once again. She will not stay permanently – she never does. She can’t, because God has claimed victory over her, over each and every one of my conflicting feelings of discontent, self-doubt, and helplessness. I feel the presence of depression now, but I hold an unwavering Hope that my God will not leave me with her alone.

This is not a feel-good message, in case you haven’t noticed. But this is my brutal honesty.

I also know that there are many of you out there who also struggle with depression. Anxiety. Panic attacks. Fear. Worry. Self-doubt. Disbelief. And I encourage you to take comfort in your own sadness.

I know that sounds strange, but when we reach a certain point of sorrow, we are reminded so brightly that our light is not from ourselves but from the Lord. I do not feel happiness by the standards of this world – when I see all the suffering around me, I don’t know what happiness would even feel like. But then again, happiness is temporary. It is Hope that is eternal.

Even when your shadows are creeping up and the walls are closing in, remember that there is joy in sorrow, peace in chaos, and strength in Hope.

“Though sorrow may last for the night, joy comes with the morning.” ~ Psalm 30:5

“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all”. ~ Psalm 34:17-19

“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” ~ Isaiah 40:31

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11

“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;” ~ 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” Psalm 94:19

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