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eulangelo · 3 years

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callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ]

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post.

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with.

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

#genderfluidlucifer #transmisogyny tw #terfs tw #ask to tag #txt #long post #ok to rb

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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 3 years

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perfect now - a close reading

only pure and true love for this one. it’s soft and sweet because the one he wrote it for is and needs cheesy uncool romcom soundtrack-worthy affirmations and it’s the most wonderful thing oh my the flurries

some album booklet art for your viewing pleasure

((just a warning for below: while the lyric analysis was kept fairly neutral and close to the words and their meaning, more and more parallels did ensure me larrying out by the time the analysis kicked off so if you’re not into that, you can skip this one!))

⟼ check out @bluewinnerangel ‘s magnificent post with all the parallels to 1d/h&l bc it’s exhaustive and was a source for mine <3 thank you again for your service <3 bc this song really is a fanpiece of every song that has been important to them throughout their career so far, whether they wrote it or not, and it’s honestly kinda impressive

SUMMARY

you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway

lyric breakdown ft. the many parallels, incl. little things, through the dark and wmyb

what this says about louis, his partner and the relationship he is in

never gonna dance again frenzy

identity

louis is a marvellous majestic sonofabitch basically <3

walls, track 10

～ little things “you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you’re perfect to me”

You don’t feel pretty and it’s hard to miss

later lyric: “like a neon sign” - i see through you trying to hide away your insecurities

I wish that you could see my point of view As someone staring back at you

“you” is also staring at him, but perhaps is too insecure to realise how mutual the adoration is

i wish i could get you out of your own negative spiral and give you a look at yourself from my perspective

～ wmyb “everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you”

～ wmyb “right now i’m looking at you and i can’t believe you don’t know you’re beautiful”

～ little things “you never love yourself half as much as I love you, and you’ll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to. If I let you know, I’m here for you, maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you”

On Friday night when we’re all out I turn to you and you’re looking down And you don’t wanna dance I know you love to dance You never stop given half the chance

heavy echoes of kmm again, but the opposite: the “nightmare on the dance floor” doesn’t want to dance

when “you” is confident rlly not being subtle with who i think that is, they love to dance <-> tpwk “feeling good in my skin, i just keep on dancing”

“i know you love to dance” = i know what you love bc i love you

“given half the chance”

～ tpwk “giving/given second chances”

given a chance tattoo, making another appearance (see below for more tattoo meltdowns)

Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up

term of endearment <3

～ dlibyh

this album is full of encouragement to keep going and as much as it gives me life it ruins me

Don’t hide away, don’t ever change

“be happy, proud”

～ “just hold on”

“pick someone who’s supportive”

Keep your head up, love, keep your head up Don’t look away, don’t look away

don’t look away from me

～ through the dark “and I can see your head is held in shame”

Cause everybody’s looking at you now, my, oh my

they have the stage to themselves / new career paths they’re doing on their own

could also mean ppl they’re going out with are looking at them, which “you” interprets as sth negative, which makes them self-conscious, while they’re actually admiring them bc they steal the scene

～ wmyb “you’re turning heads when you walk through the door”

I guess some queens don’t need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still, somehow, you’re perfect now

“you” is royalty to louis, to put it simply

they don’t need something on their head to make it known to everyone else - they’re a queen and everyone knows it

gendered: female - also used in drag contexts - the only time L has used any gendered word to identify his partner on the entire album (more on this below)

～ steal my girl "she's been my queen since we were sixteen" can't believe i forgot this one thank you @mortalenemiestolovers for reminding me!!!

～ falling

～ through the dark “you tell me that your tears are here to stay”

You never do, but if you asked me to I’ll tell the truth lying next to you

“you” never asks for affirmations directly, but by saying shit like their pants are too tight make it clear enough to L that they do need to hear once in a while that it’s not true

Cause you’re the only one when it’s said and done You make me feel like being someone

Good to you even at your worst

～ always you

i love you so much you are a force of life to me, and even when you hate me i want more

～ drag me down “If I didn’t have you there would be nothing left, the shell of a man who could never be his best. If I didn’t have you, I’d never see the sun. You taught me how to be someone” (sung by louis first, harry second)

～ through the dark “even if you scream and shout, it’ll come back to you and I’ll be here for you

You steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed

reference to working on a stage - their natural presence wins everyone over - that charisma is never manufactured

Don’t you wanna dance? Just a little dance I’ll never stop given half the chance

L keeps encouraging them, will also not pass by any chance to dance with them

Every insecurity, like a neon sign, as bright as day If you knew what you were to me You would never try to hide away

“it’s hard to miss”

L sees through them trying to hide their insecurities, pretend to be strong

～ through the dark “but I know you were only hiding”

SYNTHESIS

Perfect Now is not a fan favorite and I am so not here for that discourse, so please do not pester me with negativity about this chocolate drop of a song.

As others have pointed out, the parallels with other songs written by Louis, Harry or for One Direction are extremely present. Especially Little Things is echoed loudly, but there’s so much more to be read, as you’ve seen. These are songs that are clearly near and dear to Louis, bc he wrote them or bc performing them was special, like with Little Things and What Makes You Beautiful. A lot of the same emotions come back in Louis’s writing, so much so that you can’t help but see the larger story behind it all. Throughout Walls you can hear him singing about not giving up and holding your head high despite hardships, and if you look back at his earlier writing, it’s always been there. Through the Dark is an early and striking example of this style of Louis song: you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway

basically through the dark’s chorus:

Oh, I will carry you over Fire and water for your love And I will hold you closer Hope your heart is strong enough When the night is coming down on you We will find a way Through the dark

It is very clear that Louis is faced with a partner - I can freely say it’s Harry now right? are the antis gone by now? i think so - that struggles with his body, with his identity, with how he wants to present himself vs how opinions on that might push him down and dampen his spirit. Louis, always the supportive boyfriend, then tries his best to make him see the light, while keeping that space for his sadness, his struggles, or their joint struggles. Accept the sadness but don’t lose your heart to it.

I’ve linked @bluewinnerangel ‘s post at the start of this post, but I need to stress how good it is once more as I also shamelessly insert a screenshot from it here bc it makes me feel a lot and summarizes perfectly just how deeply Perfect Now is woven into the history of their lives, relationship and especially “you”s/Harry’s personal struggle with their identity/body/confidence...

Because yes, i absolutely think these tattoos are being echoed in the song. “Never gonna dance again” as a lyric and then as a tattoo on Harry’s legs like shackles around his ankles represents the sensation of shame, of being stuck, bc of your desires, bc of your sexuality. Obviously we can never know why Harry got the tattoo, as in what experience pushed him to choose those lyrics or what exactly he recognizes in himself, but it’s safe to say it’s about the struggles of being queer and navigating relationships with that identity and with others.

Most importantly, the sense of shamelessly dancing, dancing like no one’s watching, dancing together with your lover, as a celebration of self, life, love, is the key here. Harry got that tattoo ages ago, at a time when he undoubtedly felt way more stuck. When he couldn’t dance freely the way he wanted to and with whom he wanted to. Perfect Now is a reminder to him, an encouragement to still dance if he wants to, no matter what people say or think. Significantly, then, Harry’s own Treat People With Kindness heavily features that same sentiment, but in an extremely positive light: i have found a place (in life and in myself) where i feel like i have given and was given second chances and now i dance bc i finally feel good in my skin.

Louis has obviously been there from the start, or at least from when or before Harry properly started experimenting with/questioning how he likes to present and how he identifies as. Before he ever dared to consider pulling on a pair of women’s skinny jeans, never mind a ball gown. Louis has seen him limit himself as well as being limited by others ofc and has always seemed to have been there, with a secure hand on Harry’s back, to encourage him. Even at a time when boys wearing nail polish or skirts was unthinkable. Just remember how much encouragement Harry needed when growing out his hair; Louis literally joined him. yes this might make me cry okay i need to stop bc i’m going off track and this is just becoming a larry breakdown while i was trying to hype up this beautiful song.

What I’m trying to say is: Louis has always seen all of Harry. He’s always had his back, no matter what. He’s loved every part of him. And now, on a completely gender neutral album, in the sweetest, softest song off of the entire thing, Louis puts in the word “queen”, and that is so very deliberate it makes me want to scream. It’s Louis confirming his love again and again while affirming the multitudes contained by Harry, including everything involving his gender journey. brb crying

It’s a raw Louis, an honest, sweet, kind, loving partner, and both of them are fucking lucky to have each other, and I also wish that all of us end up in a caring and wholesome relationship like that. I truly do.

#wow i thought this one was gonna be easier #i always do why do i think that???#every time i look closer into l's lyrics i see more depth #this is all just a perfect mushy mess so it's on brand for me #perfect now analysis #lyric analysis #my posts #parallels

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mustardyellowsunshine · 2 years

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Kay I’m very curious about your opinion on this but I hadn’t read the manga in like quite some time and I’m rereading it, and many in the fandom talk about how kikyo actually wasn’t bad or people just misunderstand her, but now that I’m rereading she tried on multiple occasions to kill Kagome or leave her for dead. I guess I just don’t understand if kikyo is so good why she tried to kill kagome or leave her to die with no real reason other than what seems like petty ones

'Nony, your timing is honestly amazing. I had literally just finished reading the chapter with Kikyo's final death scene, and I was sitting in my thoughts and feelings about her character, and then this popped into my inbox. Synchronicity! Freaky.

Anyway, I've been an on-again, off-again active participant in the InuYasha fandom since 2002 (20 years?!! oh crikey, existential crisis incoming). In that time I've seen the Opinion Pendulum™ swing from absolutely villainizing Kikyo's character to the other extreme of dismissing people who are insufficiently effusive about how much they love Kikyo (the sentiment being, "if you say or imply anything even mildly critical of Kikyo's character then you're a Kikyo hater and it's not a good look, you should really grow up").

Which is to say, the Kikyo discourse has always been annoying. In my opinion, there hasn't been nearly enough nuance brought into discussions about Kikyo's character, or enough honest recognition that she simply is morally ambiguous for a good chunk of the series (and that it's indeed okay to find a fictional character's moral ambiguity off-putting, but we gotta whisper that part apparently).

I mean, I'll be honest off the bat: I've always been pretty apathetic to Kikyo's character. I don't hate her, I don't love her: she's there, and I could take her or leave her. 🤷🏼‍♀️ That said, I've never read her as evil. If pressed, I'd summarize her character this way: she's morally gray until she isn't.

Kikyo certainly starts off as an antagonist (there are few other ways to read a character who tries on several occasions to kill the two main protagonists), so you're not wrong to see her character in that light, especially if you're still in the early series. But as the series progresses, Kikyo slowly becomes more of a gray character, still motivated by self-interest and bitterness over her (unquestionably tragic and shitty) lot in life, but less antagonistic to Kagome and InuYasha. (She actually tries to stay out of their way for a good chunk of the middle series, which bothers InuYasha at some points, but anyway.) She then disappears "off screen" for arcs upon arcs at a time, and when she does pop back in, we often see her helping out random villagers or other side characters; by this point, her motivations are noticeably less self-driven (less resentful, less angry), and her focus is largely on defeating Naraku. By the end of the series, Kikyo has become an ally to our main protagonists, in that she's trying her best to take out their mutual enemy. Regardless of one's opinion on her methods of defeating Naraku, her intention is clearly to take him out with as little collateral damage as possible (e.g., her efforts to spare Koga and Kohaku while still trying to collect their Shikon shards). Now, I personally do think her methods are morally suspect, but what's interesting is that by the end of the series, so does she—Kikyo has second thoughts about her plan to defeat Naraku precisely because it could hurt others. It's a far cry from the Kikyo we see immediately after her resurrection.

And that disparity between intention and results? That's another reason Kikyo feels morally gray. Her ultimate intentions may be "good," but her methods often aren't. And that sort of disparity is both realistic (I think most people have experience with good intentions that went astray, y'know?) and interesting. It gives layers and colors to a character.

I've always thought Kikyo's modus operandi throughout most of the series represented her biggest character flaw: she thinks the ends justify the means. She isn't actively malicious, but she's not afraid to cause harm (specifically to Kagome, and to a lesser degree InuYasha) if it'll get her closer to her goals. Again, that changes at the end of the series when she starts to doubt her plans, but for the majority of the series I think "the ends justify the means" accurately describes her motivations and behaviors.

I.e., Kikyo is morally gray until she isn't.

When it comes down to it, her character development isn't much different from other antagonists in the series, like Sesshomaru, Kagura, Koga, etc. I actually think Kikyo and Sesshomaru's respective character arcs are remarkably similar, in that their progression is essentially: obvious antagonist -> extremely morally gray -> slightly less morally gray -> unlikely ally.

(I also happen to be pretty apathetic to Sesshomaru as a character — I'm sensing a pattern here.)

Anyway, I personally think people who want to classify Kikyo as "evil" have it wrong, and people who want to classify Kikyo as "good but misunderstood" have it wrong too. She's more ambiguous and complex than that. She's selfish. She's tragic. She's a victim who suffers something unimaginable. She herself victimizes innocent people (mostly Kagome). She can't really be pigeonholed.

And I also think it's perfectly fine to dislike her. 🤷🏼‍♀️ She is a fictional character, her feelings will not be hurt if you just don't like her. Her antagonism in the early series makes it hard for a lot of people to like her. If her character leaves a bad taste in your mouth, and her changed behavior in the middle/end of the series feels unearned/poorly developed, then just keep disliking her. Who cares? You can feel however you want to about a fictional character.

My personal feelings about Kikyo are much the same as my feelings for side characters like Sesshomaru: she's there, she's more interesting in the beginning of the series than she is in the middle/the end, I think her character wasn't developed especially well, her presence in the story was dragged out too long and it felt like Rumiko Takahashi didn't really know what to do with her....

And I also try to keep in mind that InuYasha was a weekly, monster-of-the-week shounen series, that Rumiko Takahashi wasn't necessarily concerned with long-term narrative or character development, and then I try to modify my expectations accordingly.

#ask #I'm so sorry that my response is so... chaotic #(or at least it feels kinda messy/chaotic to me)#I could not for the life of me structure it any better than this #this got more long-winded than I expected so I didn't include this little nugget in the main post BUT #re: Kikyo's modus operandi being 'the ends justify the means'#I think we see a little hint of that in pre-series Kikyo too #when she asks InuYasha to become human #I don't think her intention was necessarily to force InuYasha to be something he wasn't #her only intention was to make both their lives easier as she saw it #but you have to wonder if she ever paused to think about the long term consequences to InuYasha #and what her request communicated to him #to her the ends (purifying the Shikon Jewel and living a normal life with InuYasha) justified the means #(asking InuYasha to give up a significant part of his identity)

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scuttle-buttle · 3 years

Text

Chapter 5

WC: 1526

Rated: M

Chapter Tags: angst, mentions of physical congenital defects, name calling, Freud, mention of psychological disorders, mention of disabilities

🧠

Maybe it was naïve of you to hope for an apology from him after the incident in the classroom. He was a dick, after all.

Six weeks into the term and things had not gotten better, but in fact much worse. Every little thing he did drove you up a wall. He would talk to himself out loud about who knows what. He would ask you your thoughts and opinions on the theories he studied, and then try to challenge everything you said. He would make you feel small as he spoke down to you or he would laugh at your ideas. He would ask for help with the dumbest things too, like picking up pens and typing up all his notes. And worst of all, he would just watch you. It probably wasn’t really all that creepy, he didn’t actually give you those vibes, but you felt like a bug under a microscope.

The only time you could tolerate the doctor was when he was giving his lectures. It was like he was a totally different person. Gone was the calculating and stubborn doctor, and in his place stood a thoughtful, passionate, intellectual that tried to see the world from as many facets as possible. He was so incredibly open minded. You'd even seen him crack a smile or two.

You wondered what he might be like if that was his personality all the time. Would the two of you get along better and argue less? Would he think more highly of you, and not just as some dumb assisstant? You doubt it.

“-And then he handed me a stack of notebooks and asked me to type everything up. All his handwritten notes. Like oh my god, get with the times and just type them the first go yourself.” You were set upside down on Bitsy’s bed. This week Kreizler had amped up your workload, so of course you had to vent to your friends.

Feeling the blood pool in your head you roll over and sit up with a huff. “He’s just so strange… and he’s left handed but to the extreme. I don’t think I’ve seen him use his right hand once the entire time we’ve worked together. Like how odd is that?”

“Maybe he’s got OCD or something?” Margo, your mutual friend suggests.

You contemplate what she said. Perhaps he did have something else going on? The more you think about it the more you realize he really didn’t ever use his right hand; when he asked for your assistance it was always for a two-handed job. Perhaps… You are broken out of your trance when Bitsy interjects.

“You need to either find a new hobby to distract yourself or you need to hate-fuck the guy already.” She doesn’t look up from her phone.

Her comment catches you so off guard you choke on your own spit. Margo pats your back as you overcome the coughing fit. “Bitsy what the actual fuck?” She just gives you a ‘what?’ look. Clearly she’s grown two heads to even consider suggesting that to you.

“It’s not so crazy. You like older guys, you said it yourself that he’s smart and he’s cute. Maybe this is what you both need. Get out some frustration.” She tosses her phone to the bed. “And to be honest I’d like to be able to talk to you about literally anything other than how much you can’t stand the ‘good doctor dickwad’.”

Your mouth is gaping at her in your shock. Her words settle in you like a bag of rocks. “Oh my god I really do talk about him that much don't I?” Shame and embarrassment wash over you as you realize that yes, the majority of your day is spent complaining about Kreizler. “I’m sorry guys, I’ll make an effort to tone it down.”

“It’ll probably help with the stress too if you stop,” Margo adds.

“That and getting dicked down - how long has it been for you?”

“Yeah no,” you get off the bed and walk out of the room, “I’m not answering that.”

“Too long then!” Bitsy calls after you with a laugh.

He really thought he had been doing better with you. He couldn’t say you were his favorite person by any means, but you were proficient at your job and the tasks he gave you. A hard worker. He tried to engage in friendly conversation or to talk about the lessons he was planning with you. As little as you had actually studied psychology he found your insights to be most interesting and enlightening. He actually enjoyed it.

You, on the other hand, apparently did not.

Today was going the usual route - he attempted to engage you in discourse; you were determined to defend and fight your way out of it. Oddly enough, for as much as you loathed talking with him you were always giving him your opinion on things.

“How could you be so base to believe that? We are all individuals with our own wants, needs, and desires, sure, but to only be subject to that? To have no freedom or choice in anything we do or say? It’s ridiculous.” You sat with your arms across your chest, a sneer on your face as you argued with him.

His face remains calm through your tirade. He himself took Freud’s work with a grain of salt, but he was interested in your reaction to his questioning. So he pushed you. “And yet you sit here now with the most basic principle being exhibited - the presence of Freud’s Id hard at work - as you become frustrated and angered by my words. Is that in itself not the desire to let anger take control? Acting without fear of consequence? To be exactly what you now claim is ridiculous?”

You scoff. “No, Doctor, because I’ve chosen to not put up with the bullshit. I choose of my own free will.”

“But what is free will, if not chained to our deepest desires and fears? Us acting on the primal needs within us so out of our control? You have no choice in the matter, only impulse. Nothing you choose matters, you are inconsequential.” Laszlo found that he liked to rile you up. You were more forthcoming in your ideas and defenses; a worthy partner to discuss psychological theory with. But today he had pushed you too far.

By this point you had had enough. His constant instagation had driven you to the end of your rope. In reality it probably wasn’t that bad, and you really weren’t that confrontational of a person. But god, with him you just couldn’t seem to hold yourself back. He drove you up the wall.

“Is that what you want? To study me like your little project, seeing how you can get me to crack? Your own personal basket case to psychoanalyze? What - does that get you off at night or something?” You don’t even care that he’s your boss anymore or how inappropriate your suggestion is. If he can push and push and push without regard to what is considered socially allowed then you’d be damned if you didn’t too.

His face is merely curious, a hint of a smirk on it, as you all but yell at him from your desk. He sits back, a pen in his left hand, his right resting atop the desk. You notice his right thumb twitch.

“What’s wrong with your arm?” blurts from your scowled mouth. You don’t know why you ask. Maybe his idea about being chained to our deepest curiosities, no matter how questionable, had some weight behind it.

"I beg your pardon?" His eyes change the second the question slips from your lips. No longer is he eying you with amusement, but he looks as if he might snap at any second. His face is hard, you can see his jaw clenched under the full beard he sports.

At his reaction you know that you screwed up. You never should have said anything at all. Sure he could be as rude as the day is long, but he wasn’t necessarily a cruel man. He had little moments where he was genuinely kind to you. He even made you tea once.

“I’m sorry- I…. I don’t know where that came from. It was inappropriate of me and I apologize, Dr. Kreizler.”

The silence that overcomes the room is deafening, so unlike the boisterous discourse that was taking place a moment ago. You turn away hoping to resume your work. You even take a moment to pray to whoever is listening that you didn’t just get yourself fired.

“It was a congenital defect.” You turn back towards him, but he does not meet your eyes. He speaks low again. “My arm never developed correctly so it is weaker and has less function. That is all.” You nod at him, swallowing. The look in his eyes does not match what he tells you. He has the look of someone haunted by their past. It is a look you are all too familiar with yourself. You both finish your work in silence.

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor

#the interpretation of dreams #laszlo kreizler x reader #laszlo x reader #laszlo kreizler #the alienist #the alienist angel of darkness #daniel bruhl laszlo kreizler #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl #scuttle-buttle

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lovebecomeshim · 3 years

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hello! your zutara posting today has finally motivated me to ask this question because I came to atla very late(last year, to be specific) and I Love It Very Much but am 1000% out of the loop as far as why what remains of fandom (at least that I've seen among my friends) is so very strongly zutara. I'm not opposed to it per se I just don't really know what has driven it to apparently be such a popular ship? can you help me understand and maybe convert me a little bit?

Hey!! Your ICON! :D I can try but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be; however I AM sure someone a lot more competent will be willing to add to this. Either way, I’m glad you asked because my plan was to drag down as many people as possible with me.

*smacks the hood of zutara* this baby can fit so much mutual love and support!

This got so long, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to put it under a cut on mobile and it already got deleted once so I’m scared to mess with it lol. Moving on.

I’m gonna start this with a disclaimer that im on mobile so formatting is tricky and I’m also really new to atla in that I only completed my first watch through in like 2019??? So some of my info is all just based on what I’ve picked up from Discourse 👀 so anyway the sparknotes version: zutara was wildly popular from the beginning. To the point where the atla crew internally disagreed on which ship should be endgame. (Ex. Bryke [showrunners] asked the writers to rewrite The Southern Raiders to make Zuko seem less ideal for Katara than Aang [which failed, depending on who you ask]; the animation team purposefully created a visual parrallel between Oma and Shu in the Cave of Two Lovers and Zuko and Katara in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se in the Crossroads of Destiny; etc.)

The ship was popular enough that Bryke actually chose to display zk fanart at a con for the sole purpose of mocking the fans, but that’s neither here nor there. The entire episode Ember Island Players, while a love letter to/parody of the whole show, was an opportunity to address zutara’s viability as a canon pairing (while, again, mocking zutaras for romanticizing that catacombs scene). Point is! It’s always been popular but with it not being endgame, there’s got to be something that’s given it staying power.

And that’s honestly got to do with three things: their dynamic, thematic cohesion, and potential.

(You know what... you know what, it’s four things. The fourth is they’re so aesthetically pleasing together and individually. Like, they’re just good looking people [specifically when they’re grown but they’re also cute kids] and that absolutely doesn’t hurt) (but it’s not the Point, it’s just nice to point out sometimes)

The dynamic is hard to get into without also looking at the canon pairings, but I think I can do that without unnecessary bashing. It’s just that part of the magic of zutara is really highlighted by what they give to each other that their other relationships don’t.

First off, it’s classic enemies to (would be) lovers. The absolute truest form of it. It’s not too different from how CS started out: a rogue antagonist with a job to do—but no personal vendetta against the future love interest—who is deeply and emotionally invested in his personal storyline (revenge/redemption) with little regard for how it effects other people after his entire life and genuine good nature are marred by suffering, and a fierce warrior girl with a strong moral compass and her own personal investment in stopping him (protect her family and save the world doing it). Obviously frustration and animosity grew between them by the nature of them being on opposing sides, but that just lends itself to the sweetness of their later reconciliation.

The thing is that while they’re wildly different on the surface (he’s a hot-headed prince of a fascist regime who is trying to capture the Avatar to please his father; she’s a nurturing daughter of the chief who is trying to protect and train the Avatar in order to topple his father’s throne) they find out that they have so much more in common both in their experiences and their personalities.

(What follows is an excessive use of the word “both” and I’m sorry about that)(I can edit it. I can do that. That IS an option............)

They both have an innate sense of justice that they are determined to see done (zuko, at the war meeting, sticking up for the Earth Kingdom kid when the guards torment his family, choosing not to steal from the pregnant couple despite his circumstances, abiding by his word to leave the SWT should Aang come willingly, etc.; katara, literally.... at any point). They both have pretty one-track minds at accomplishing certain goals once they’ve put their mind to it, regardless of a lack of support in that endeavor (it goes without saying I guess, but zuko’s entire hunt; katara’s determination to get the earth benders to fight back, her determination to absolutely destroy Pakku until he agrees to teach her, etc.). They both lost their mothers at young ages. Their worlds are war-torn and traumatizing to them both, if in different ways, but that ultimately forces them to grow up too quickly to be wholly independent individuals. They both have issues with their fathers (for WILDLY different reasons, but). They both hold extreme prejudices that they need to learn to overcome (which ties into thematic cohesion)(bit like Lizzie and Darcy in that way but magnified by a million). They’re both extremely emotional and empathetic—which can and often does result in loud outbursts. Katara’s a bit better adjusted and can temper her anger for longer than S1 Zuko can, but they both feel that anger deeply and have no compunctions expressing it (Katara is, usually, more justified, particularly in S1. Again, S1 Zuko is severely maladjusted but at the point when they could’ve feasibly become a couple, he’s so much better off with the way he carries himself). They both struggle with feelings of inferiority in their bending abilities when confronted with prodigal benders like Aang and Azula, but have the work ethic required to double down and become two of the most powerful benders in the three remaining nations. This is a little more minor but it is a parrallel that appeals to some shippers that they both have these alter egos in the Painted Lady (notably fire nation coded) and the Blue Spirit (water tribe coded) that are pretty different from who they are day-to-day and are useful in accomplishing a purpose that they as themselves cannot.

(I’m.... I just realized that this could potentially get very long. Should I have made a slide show with bullet points??????)

Anyway, similar. I know there’s more but there’s literally so much to love about zutara that I’ll drive myself a little crazy trying to compile all the ways they’re similar. (Just gonna say that at this exact moment I went back to add more similarities.... so okay then)

Once they’ve reconciled, we see how all of these things only lend themselves to a deeper intimacy together than they share with literally anyone else. There’s a steady partnership that positions them as the mom/dad of the gaang, while also providing the support necessary to allow the other to not have to carry so much responsibility. A lot of zutaras will point out how zuko is actually depicted doing the more domestic chores that are normally relegated to Katara once he joins the gaang, since the others in the group are two 12-year-olds and sokka. The one that sticks out the most is how he makes tea for the group and then serves them, while Katara is able to just relax with her friends around the fire. Fanon expands upon this a lot to Zuko helping with the laundry or the cooking or whatever else needs doing since he, as a once-refugee, is used to doing his own domestic tasks. Before Zuko joined, Katara was the one mothering everyone, sewing for them, cooking for them, etc. She’s always tending to the needs of the group, and that includes emotionally. She does the emotional labor for the gaang 99% of the time, but when she’s the one falling apart, she’s usually doing it alone and without the comfort that she normally provides for others. Until Zuko. And that’s before they’re even friends.

Which is WHY people romanticize the catacombs of Ba Sing Se so much. Katara is verbally attacking Zuko out of her own righteous anger but also her own prejudice when Zuko, surprisingly, chooses to be vulnerable with her. He’s been on a journey that’s opened his eyes a bit, but he’s never actively chosen to expose the rawest parts of his past to anyone. But for some reason he chooses to do that with Katara of all people. While she’s yelling at him. He sees her humanity, and for once can look past his prejudice and empathize with her. And this time, when she breaks down, she gets to be comforted. Katara normally talks about her mother when she’s trying to explain to someone else that she sees and understands they’re pain, as a form of comfort to them. Here, Zuko uses the exact same tactic. He sees her and he understands. And for zuko? He’s not being shut down. He’s allowed to articulate his pain regarding his mother without being ignored and made to internalize it, and he’s allowed to process how he feels about his scar out loud without being told that he deserved it. And then he lets her touch his scar, something we’ve seen him actively avoid before. He’s completely open to her and she’s completely open to him and all it took was one five minute conversation. She was about to use the little bit of Spirit water that she had, that she was saving for something Important, to heal the scar that still daily causes him pain just because they had, somehow, connected.

Plus there’s the whole parallel to the star-crossed lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people—

And then zuko messes up, he regresses, he gets what he wants and he HATES it. And the sense of justice he had as a child has been restored to him against his will and he can’t think of anything he wants to do more than the Right Thing, so he joins team avatar. Before he does that though, we get to see his relationship with Mai, which is where comparison really comes in. And what we see is Zuko, fresh off of his encounter with Katara in the catacombs, trying to be emotionally honest with Mai... and getting shut down and dismissed. Which is just how Mai is and it’s fine, but not for Zuko. Still, he keeps trying, and he keeps getting ignored or scoffed at or yelled at. Which is really a larger symbol for how he doesn’t fit in his old life anymore, but again that’s about thematic cohesion. He tries to articulate his anxieties about returning home, he tries to make romantic gestures, he tries to explain how morally conflicted he’s feeling—and Mai diverts to some kind of physical affection to shut him up and a parting comment that is pretty much always, in essence, “I don’t wanna talk about this.” So they don’t. On the other hand, once zuko and Katara are friends, we see him again emotionally distraught and caught up in his anxieties about facing Iroh, and it’s Katara who comes to him and listens to him and comforts and encourages him.

Similarly, we have Aang clamming up and getting uncomfortable whenever Katara shows any negative emotion, usually resulting in him making excuses or running away. Or, in the case of the Southern Raiders, lecturing her on how she needs to just let go of her anger about her mother’s murder. People have talked this episode to death and usually better than I ever could, so imma... keep it brief. There’s a serious disconnect between Aang and Katara in his ability to empathize with Katara and her needs that has her tamping down her vulnerability and amping up her anger. He tells her that he was able to forgive his people’s genocide and appa’s kidnapping (petnapping? Theft??), which is blatantly not true but also not an entirely equal parrallel to Katara’s situation, and continues making these little remarks throughout the episode. But it’s Zuko that Katara opens up to. It’s with him that she’s able to talk about the most traumatic day of her life, and it’s with him that she’s able to get the closure she needs, cementing their bond as friends and partners. This disagreement between Aang and Katara is then... never resolved. They just never bring it up and hear what the other is saying.

There’s a fic called The Portraits of Ember Island that has a line that so completely sums up the heart of the matter for why people love their dynamic. For context, zuko has woken up early to help Katara with the cooking and they spend the whole time just letting one another talk, and zuko stops to ask why she always just lets him talk. And so she stops to ask why he’s always helping, and it goes as follows:

There’s just... so much mutual support! Trust! Intimacy!! And it just continues like that from the Southern Raiders on, listening to each other, advising each other, watching each other’s backs! And then! Literally saving each other’s lives!! I will never be over the last Agni kai. Not ever. Zuko may have been willing to jump in front of lightning for anyone, but he actually did it for Katara. And in a show, that’s the thing that really matters. It’s a fulfilled trope usually exclusively applied to romantic pairings, and it ended up applying to Zuko and Katara. And then she ran out into the middle of a fight with tunnel vision just to get to him.

Also!! Also Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling rocks at the Western Air Temple!! And Katara catching him as he fell from the war balloon that he fought Azula on!! Before they’re even getting along, they’re the ones reaching for each other. They come to this place of equal ground, as partners, who watch each other’s backs, call each other out but still listen attentively and understand, and provide the support that the other has been sorely lacking up until they knew each other (whether that be from lack of effort or lack of understanding from others, or an unwillingness to accept it for themselves).

Then, trailing along under the surface of this, we see the themes of the show totally embodied by Zuko and Katara as individuals and in their relationship to one another. There’s a YouTuber, sneezyreviews, who has a, like, 2-hour explanation on why she not only loves zutara but also believes that their endgame would’ve actually elevated the writing of atla to new levels particularly because of thematic cohesion and resolved character arcs. It’s the zutara dissertation I never knew I needed, and it’s funny and eloquent and effective, so I’m just going to sum up her section on thematic cohesion to the best of my abilities and then link it for whenever you have the time. And I HIGHLY recommend it, especially if you want a full understanding of what makes zutara so great and gives it such longevity.

Guru pathik has a line that goes something like this: separation is an illusion; things that seem different are just two parts of the same whole. Iroh also tells Zuko something similar: balance and strength are achieved when the different nations come together and influence one another and celebrate what makes them each unique. And this lesson is a massive central arc that both Zuko and Katara go through, moving past a black-and-white, good guys-vs-bad guys, us-vs-them mentality and into a greyer, more nuanced view of the world. Zuko sees the fire nation from an entirely new perspective and while he still loves and hopes for his nations future, he surrenders his blind loyalty to them in exchange for an unflinching loyalty to peace and love. Katara too had to come to terms with the fact that cruel people exist in the earth kingdom and water tribes, while some fire nation citizens are just regular, kind people who also need and deserve to have someone speak on their behalf. And this is honed in directly on how they view each other. They grow in their individual journeys to be open to the humanity in the other and then, once they’ve found that, they’re able to grow more in compassion for others in a beautiful feedback loop. And this is all matched in the symbolism repeatedly and intentionally associated with them in canon: sun and moon, fire and water, yin and yang, Oma and Shu who found love despite their warring nations. Their individual arcs are completed in each other and complement the themes of atla beautifully.

The canon pairs... just don’t. Which, again, is fine. But the very things that give atla longevity and popularity are anchored in zutara. Kat@ang doesn’t accomplish this. They’re... nice. Sweet. Especially when you erase a good portion of their interactions in S3. It could’ve been just a sweet love story. (Personally, the dynamic between toph and aang accomplish the same thing that zutara does, with complementary personalities that fulfill the theme of opposites blending in harmony) M@iko, on the other hand, is less sweet but I think wasn’t even supposed to last. Zuko’s relationship with Mai seems to represent his relationship with his old life as a whole. He can’t be emotionally vulnerable, he’s goaded into abusing his privileges, his agency and opinions aren’t respected. They just don’t have common ground with which to discuss anything that matters, so they don’t. As far as themes, the relationship doesn’t fit with atla. It’s zuko returning to and sticking with what is (on the surface) like him, what’s expected. Fire nation with fire nation. Fluid water bender with the flexible air bender. Like with like, separated from what is different and challenging and complementary.

And all of these things combined of course lead to the potential for the ship. I don’t know how familiar you are with the post-atla canon but... well, miss “I will never turn my back on people who need me”, miss “I don’t want to heal! I want to fight!” ends up living quietly in the SWT as a designated healer who turns a blind eye to the water tribe civil war happening right outside her front door. Which can be fine! People change! Some people just wanna stay inside. I just wanna stay inside! But the potential future for zutara is so much more satisfying, with Katara becoming the most unconventional Fire Lady the uppity old cads who are stuck on the old ways have ever seen. Fanon has her serving as a voice for the other nations within a kingdom at the point of its biggest political upheaval, as a confidante to Zuko who can actually help him while he’s trying to figure out how to move forward and make reparations. They have the opportunity, together, to accomplish what they both have set on their hearts to fight for: positive change that lends itself to harmony and balance. And the steambabies! A popular headcanon is that their firstborn daughter, the crown princess, is actually a waterbender, which causes such an uproar among the people who are adamantly clinging to the old ways. It’s just a future full of potential to be forces for good together, full of trust, intimacy, joy. The exact era of peace and love and balance that zuko announces that he intends to ring in with the start of his reign as Fire Lord is, again, magnified by the very personal zutara relationship. And we love to see it.

tl;dr zutara isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t vibe with it. Some are nostalgic. Some love the canon they grew up with. Some have been disappointed for years. Some just see themselves in other characters and want their happiness instead. Whatever the reason, that’s fine. But for me, I love the way these two, from the moment they give each other a fair chance, are able to lower their walls and prejudices to see the other for the kindred spirits they are. They see each other’s humanity, and their response is to pour out love and support and compassion. I love that they’re a power couple in battle. I love the symbolism and, honestly, soulmatism that colors their every interaction. I love that they embody the whole storyline of atla in their relationship and how it develops, which is notably why their seasonal arcs always culminate in each finale with how they relate to one another. I love that zuko adopting a waterbending move is what actually saves his life and then katara’s. I love the chemistry! And I love the future they could’ve had, instead of the ones they were given.

So, in conclusion: I just think they’re neat and I hope you do too, at least a little bit. Even if it’s just respectfully from a disinterested distance cause you do you. And now here is the video I mentioned. I’m sorry this post got so long and then I gave you an even longer homework assignment, but I can’t recommend it enough. She says it all better than I can.

youtube

#zutara #atla #zutara rant #like really the way the canon relationships were written throughout s3 #it would’ve been more believable for zutara to happen #or at least be hinted at #all of the major issues presented in those relationship were dug up extensively and then... never resolved #and then they just slapped some kisses on a screen and said ‘there all better’#and we just kinda had to say ‘oh ok guess it’s all better then’#this got long I’m sorry #I wrote it all out and then tumblr ate 2/3 of it #which is why it took so long #and what I’ve written now doesn’t even match what I had before #because there’s too much to say about why I love zutara #and the stuff I left out the first time is what came out this time #rip to my original thoughts but this post is different #anyway that’s why this took so long #and I should’ve just made a PowerPoint...#I can do that too if you’d rather not read all of this lol #I won’t be offended #this is incoherent #Alia rambles uselessly #also hoping this doesn’t end up in any wrong tags because I don’t wanna step on toes lol #it’s not anti!! it’s just critical #in a compare/contrast way #I can pinpoint the moment when I started trying to rewrite my points from memory #because everything gets shorter and more succinct #like... I really said all that??? sounds fake and I don’t remember it anyway so here’s the condensed version #with no!! smooth!!! transitions!!!!#also why am I so lazy with proper grammar over text

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xgoldendays · 3 years

Text

To preface I’m not directing this at anyone on here specifically. I’ve just seen so much discourse over the past twelve hours that I feel compelled to write another speech because I am, in fact, a gallavich apologist and I can’t sit by and not say anything. Take from this what you will, I’m not here to argue with anyone. I’m here to state my opinion.

First thing, I’m not going to make apologies for the things they said to each other. Mickey’s comment about Ian’s bipolar was out of line and Ian saying Frank is worse than Terry was out of pocket. It didn’t make sense for them to say that and I frankly wish they hadn’t BUT when people are angry, we all say things we don’t mean. That’s not an excuse but when you want to hurt someone, make them feel low, sometimes people go for the jugular and I think in their case, they know the other can handle it. To say they wish they never met each other? They both know that’s not true. They know that’s not how they actually feel and it’s petty arguing for the sake of arguing that I blame on the writing.

I think what’s really being nitpicked at here is that Ian somehow loves Mickey less than Mickey loves Ian and as I always say, I’m a Mickey stan at heart - we know this - but to say that Ian doesn’t love Mickey the same is just not true. I’d be lying and I know a bunch of people will agree with me - if I said that my exes or past people in my life haven’t affected me. Everyone I’ve come in contact with that’s been in my life for an extended period of time, good or bad, sticks with me. You don’t forget the people that changed you. I hate that Kash and Ned were made out to seem like valid relationships and not Ian being taken advantage of by older men but like it or not, those men had a big impact on him. He can’t just forget about the past. He has trauma that goes undealt with and those times in his life have stuck with him. They take up some space in his heart because he was just a kid. He was just a kid who thought those men cared about him. I think it’s harmful to blame Ian for being changed by those events and for him to carry that with him.

87% is just a number. It’s a random number. Ian pulled that number literally out of nowhere. You can’t put a figure on love or how much you love someone. It’s been made clear time and time again that Ian loves Mickey. Mickey is the only man truly in Ian’s heart. He takes up a huge part of that space and while I understand Mickey is hurt by the fact that part isn’t 100%, I think the whole point of the episode is that he learns to accept it. Whether they argue or fight or do stupid things, they both know that the man they married is the man they want to be with.

Even more so, Ian was NOT going to cheat on Mickey at keg zone. It was literally just a parallel to Ian’s old life. To the mistakes he made in the past. They both had to face parts of their past that are ugly and harmful so they can see that they’re better for it now. They’ve moved past the people they used to be. Their relationship is far from perfect but when push comes to shove, they would never actually act on something that would hurt the other person that deeply. It might not have been presented in a way that’s easy to absorb or even completely clear without a good amount of thinking but being shown these little glimpses into their thought process, shows that in the end, they always end up thinking about the other. They always have each other in mind.

What it boils down to is that not everyone loves the same way. We don’t all show our love in the same way. How Ian shows it and how Mickey shows it are two different things. It doesn’t mean they love each other more or less than the other. It just doesn’t. It means they have to find out what work best for them, what lines of communication works best for them and they’re trying. They’re attempting to get there. I don’t think that’s a crime. It’s not going to be the way everyone wants it to be. It won’t be cute and adorable all the time. But they’re married, they’re together. They want to be together and they’re making the effort to try new things together. A number is just a number. It means nothing. They love each other so much. They don’t want to be with anyone else. That should be enough.

Also that mutual i love you should have been the tell all.

#gallavich #shameless #okay i'm done feel free to ask me more if you want #shameless meta #another long one lol

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twenty-one-froggy-pilots · 3 years

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Yeah I'm honestly a bit surprised by how passionate and vocal people are about hating twenty one pilots? It's kinda upsetting that when I try to interact with content about them I'm always a bit worried in the back of my mind because I'm a pretty sensitive person and it's hard not to let stuff get to me.

I don’t know why it’s always felt like twenty one pilots has gotten a ton of hate for no reason? I’ve been into them since 2013-2014 so pure unadulterated vessel era, I’m a very old fan of them and their music, like one of the oldest picture in my phone is this

(This picture isn’t important I just love it, plus something fun to look at with a not so fun subject material)

(Long history as a fan rant incoming lol)

I’ve been an emo kid for a really long time, back when all of the emo bands were big, when seeing another kid wearing a panic! shirt always meant you talked to them in the mall, I still remember when I would wear the one twenty one pilots shirt I could afford outside, that anyone who knew who they were would come up and start a conversation with me

And it’s like through the years the hate has changed to be... somehow worse

Back in the early days tøp used to get called not a true emo band because they didn’t have anyone playing the guitar so everyone hated them because they weren’t emo Enough

Plus there was the whole ‘emo trinity’ ‘emo quartet’ infighting nonsense but that’s so long past idk if anyone even remembers it lol

Then blurryface rolls around and fans are being made fun of for dressing funky and going through that one fandom phase where everyone was calling the boys smol beans it was great and cute, we were all really close, we called each other frens, told each other to stay street it was great! So what people made fun of us or whatever we were absolutely vibing

Twenty one pilots felt like the coolest secret gang of fans, we were absolutely huge, more so than most people would think, and man it was awesome!! If you saw a tøp fan you knew that you were cool with that person and that person would be cool with you!! It was amazing!! Sometimes I do miss this vibe!!

But then Stressed Out ended up on the radio...

I feel like it really all changed here, all of the sudden the old fandom things were cringy, the boys were sell outs, and every family member you knew was suddenly the biggest fan despite only knowing stressed out

I remember being upset around this time because of strangers invading my space, this was my group, filled with people who understood what the lyrics meant and knew and understood how much they meant to all of us, and suddenly it was filled with people who didn’t belong

I didn’t blame the pilot boys, obviously they can’t control what’s on the radio, I’m fact, there’s plenty of pilot songs that mention never being played on the radio because of one reason or another, so my problem was never with the boys, it was with the influx of new people, and by new people I don’t mean new fans, I mean news outlets and tv show host, and with that influx came the people who didn’t get it, you know? That were rude and outright nasty and refused to understand anything about the genre and effort put into the story and why it mattered to us

(Tw for suicide mention, and uncomfortable themes involving people making fun of themes involving it, tw for mentions of school shootings)

All of the sudden we were the fans of Tyler Joseph the man who ‘Glorifies Suicide’ and actively is supposedly encouraging that behavior

We were the cringy fans everyone knew in high school and hated who were described as being ‘JuSt So QuIrkY 🤪’, instead of the mentally ill kids we all were, by people who hated us

We were the fans of those ‘white boys who look like school shooters’ (this one honestly rocked me to my core, it still hurts to even see??? Like idk why but it almost makes me want to cry)

At the same time a lot of the old fans were turning their back on the pilots, they didn’t want to be involved anymore, they hated ALL of the new fans whether they were respectful or not

It was a REALLY hard time to be a new fan, very few people were open to having them involved in anything, I think this is when a lot of hatred happened in the fandom not only fan-fan fighting/hatred but also fan-band sentiments weren’t great either

The more songs that ended up on the radio the more the hatred grew, in fact this got so bad Tyler did this

youtube

Here’s a transcript in case it’s hard to hear

Like... this was the state of our fan group.... it was suddenly cool to hate all the songs that ended up on the radio so much it affected every part of our music journey

There was a lot of infighting, it was an awful time to be a fan, new or old

Then came silence era, in which every tøp blog I followed except like 2, became kpop blogs and I’m not sure any of them ever came back lol, I actually really disliked kpop because of this for a bit in like a jokey kind of way in my own head lol (ahh how the turn tables have turned... kpop and tøp are the only things I listen to now haha, actually because of all my tøp mutuals becoming kpop blogs I vowed to myself to not change this blog to another group so I have two music blogs now, which makes me laugh but also shows how important music is to me so it makes me happy anyways you know?)

It was kind of a sad way to have the fandom disappear, everything was strangled, the boys were gone, and no one kept up with the fandom, it felt really lonely

When Trench era clues started back people started coming back, the mood was different, we had something to do and it was fun to work on something with others, we had the Clancy letters, and all the clues, and the tower of silence and the vultures!! It was great! It started to feel like we had rebuilt something from the rubble of what we had been

The fandom started calling Tyler stinky and he called us b*stards it was great, sometimes people were a bit meaner than I think they thought they were being, but it worked you know?

When the album released we had more people come back and things slowly started fitting back ok again, more songs ended up on the radio and a lot of older fans said the same things they’re saying now, but it wasn’t that bad, it was mostly very positive

And then we got to the over the summer drama, which........... is a sensitive subject, but I legitimately do not understand how it was Tyler’s fault that people assumed he was talking about something when he wasn’t talking about it at all... especially when people have been begging him for years to talk more about mental health, he wanted to introduce whatever he was going to do with a joke, I personally never though he was talking about the big issue at the time of the incident, but it blew up like wildfire and the next thing you know he’s canceled because Other People Assumed Something

So now it’s ‘Morally Justifiable’ to hate Tyler because he’s r*cist or something, despite it never being his intention and because people assumed something

It’s literally not even with good reason that people are doing this, but because it blew up when it did and about what it did, no one knows what really happened and people just wanted a morally justified reason to hate them because you can’t just dislike something anymore without it being justifiable I guess? I feel like with all of the years I’ve spent on the internet everything has only become more hateful...

All this to say.... yes, it hurts when people hate the things that you do, I get really sensitive about it as well, especially with how long and how many arguments I’ve seen, and I am extremely sensitive to discourse and hatred, it’s why I don’t engage with much of it online, in fact I was about to delete the post complaining about everyone hating on them before I saw it was really resonating with you guys

I guess my best advice to you anon, would to try to understand where it’s coming from, that’s what’s helped me, I know a lot of people dislike the pilots because of the fact that they became ‘mainstream’ during blurryface era, and people are really upset by that, so understanding that, even when it hurts, I can acknowledge that they feel that way and that it’s ok that I feel differently

It’s easy to take that point and test it against your own morals, ‘do I think twenty one pilots became mainstream, or only makes songs to get on the radio?’ If your answer is no, then you can both say ‘I don’t agree with them but they’re allowed to have their own opinion’ and kind of give yourself a wall and barrier against what they say

I know this isn’t perfect advice, but it’s helped me a lot

I know there are two big arguments against this album, that it’s mainstream and made to have radio singles (the underlying argument here I guess being Tyler and Josh are money hungry and no longer care about the music)

And that it’s no longer lyrically meaningful, but I think this has to do a lot with how involved people are in the Dema lore, if you’re not a fan of lore I would imagine this album being propaganda and supposed to be fake and bright to prove a point would really bug you if you didn’t really get it

To best thing to do is digest an argument (only if you can handle it emotionally of course 🖤) and know it’s ok that think differently than other people, and that the chances of someone being mad at you are very slim

A lot of things I’ve enjoyed have been stolen by the fear of getting hated on for something - while in actuality, the very few times I’ve gotten real hate over something barely affected me

I admit the fear of getting hate bothers me a lot more than actually getting it, but I just want to encourage you to stay strong in the face of it, it will pass, as it all does, but if nothing else in this post resonates with you, PLEASE HOLD ONTO YOUR JOY FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN! And don’t let ANYONE take it from YOU!!

If twenty one pilots makes you happy, just remember that the only person who can take that true joy away from you is yourself, remove the people who make you feel sad out of your life, I apologize if this is a physical person in your life as this makes it a lot harder, and sometimes impossible depending on the situation, but on the internet unfollow anyone, block anyone, don’t engage and leave them alone, it’s not with your energy or effort, and they’ll never change their minds but they can change yours you know?

Being sensitive in a time when everything is hateful is hard, especially when everyone tells you you’re a bad person if you aren’t engaged, but you really don’t have to be, you get to choose your own destiny you know? Don’t let other people choose it for you

#I’m am so sorry this post is so long and I still don’t know how to put readmores on mobile anymore #ajsjjams #I get told I ramble on about to much and that my stories are never concise and take forever to get to the point which might be true.........#I’m sorry #I kinda just rambled on forever but I feel like I finally aired out all my laundry I’ve kept to myself forever haha #it did have a point though! just trying to say like it’s always been a bit difficult but for the things that we love it can be #I’ve had a much better experience this era with the people I follow which has helped a lot #but to get to new content I’m digging in the tags which is where I’m #seeing all the hate so there’s kind of no avoiding it but I understood that going in you know?#anyways I think I’ve rambled on long enough! I hope this helped you out in same way?!?!#I’m not sure any of this is really helpful lol wjsks but one can hope haha #nic writes #tw suicide #tw suicide mention #tw school shooting #tw school shooting mention #tw racism mention

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daisugababy · 3 years

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i'm not the same anon who sent you all those asks just want to make that clear before i say what i have to say. i read your responses to these asks and i'm sorry but i have to call you out on what i perceive as hypocrisy. i don't know that you remember that or if it was someone else with a similar url to yours but either way you co-signed the idea that nico was "flirting" with josh, the patient he lost and at the time nico and levi were going strong and committed to one another

Bro, I literally don't know what you're talking about?? In what part of fandom have you been chillin? i asked @schmico-ing @glassesandkim and @pb-nj and none of them have encountered this kind of discourse/idea either. I have never heard about Nico flirting with Josh??? A patient??? While his boyfriend is right next to them, complaining about Nico possibly leaving for that new job?? When would Nico have flirted with Josh? I'm genuinely so confused my dude. Where did you read that? On tumblr dot com? No hate towards you, I am genuinely asking.

i don't know that you remember that or if it was someone else with a similar url to yours but either way you co-signed the idea that nico was "flirting" with josh

i'm pretty sure i didn't co-sign shit. i even checked an di did not entertain once the thought of a josh/nico flirting situation. fandom clown @glassesandkim said they had chemistry, but i'm pretty sure she didn't say that they were actually flirting with each other right in front of Levi, Bailey and Josh's grandpa. That would be really fucking weird.

i remember this clearly happening in the schmico fandom because everyone was trying to justify nico's actions by saying he was grieving

Yes, he was grieving. Because he fucking killed a 21 year old kid due to making a mistake during surgery. There's a difference between losing sb you (barely) know aside from work and making a mistake that kills someone. Nico. killed. someone. He's the reason this 21 old is dead. That shit is traumatizing. Everybody handles trauma differently.

so yeah i'm sorry but it comes across a bit hypocritical to get up in arms about levi entertaining the idea of another guy whenever he and nico are officially broken up and only hooking up

It was pretty clear that they were not broken up anymore, since Nico asked 'so did we break up or...?' While, infuriatingly, we didn't see them get back together onscreen, it is implied that they were back to being a couple. (This is also one of the main issues with Schmico. A lot of things are just implied to have happened through side comments. It makes it more difficult to follow their barely there storyline.)

and to finish off my thoughts on all this levi and nico were not only broken up but levi had been broken up with specifically because nico didn't want to open up, didn't even wanna talk at all

Nico told Levi he couldn't talk about this issue, but Levi kept on pressuring him. This is not the first time that Levi did so, so Nico will open up. Levi clearly did not respect Nico's boundaries and didn't give him the time to process, because he made Nico's trauma about himself. Repeatedly.

this wasn't a mutual split. so i can understand having a bit of emotional whiplash from going to being dumped to fuck buddies to in love and let's move in together.

I get what you mean, but again, Grey's relies heavily on implications when it comes to Schmico. And from them sleeping together (actual sleeping) and comforting each other (the on-call room scene + hand holding in public), it was kinda implied that they were just back together. But tbh I was also still confused until Nico said his 'did we break up or...' line.

i just don't understand why it's ok for nico to run from levi/push him away, last out at him whenever he is hurting/confused/going through it but levi has one second of hesitation, of wondering what it might be like to have an uncomplicated thing with a guy and we're ready to crucify him

Again, Levi kept pestering Nico about opening up. He acted like Nico not being ready to talk about his problems/trauma was a direct attack on him. This wasn't about Nico not trusting him, but Nico just not being to talk about it in general. If you can't respect your partner not wanting to talk about things that don't even involve you personally, then maybe you're not mature enough to be in a relationship. There's always a time and a place to talk about deeply traumatizing things, but I assure you, work is not that place.

My main issue here is just that Nico has always been so, so supportive of Levi. He gave him pep talks, hyped him up, stood by his side whenever Levi needed him, because he knew how to support him. Levi tried to comfort Nico the way he would've wanted to be comforted. But Levi never knew how to do that for Nico and he never asked.

I'm not crucifying Levi, I'm just annoyed, because relationship wise, from what we've seen, Levi is pretty selfish. He barely made any effort to learn how to be there for Nico, it has always been the other way around, always Nico adjusting to Levi's needs.

And yet, Nico always ends up as the bad guy... Hmmm... Very strange.

#schmico #ask #anon

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prettyboylovemail · 4 years

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Ya know what? I usually try to stay out of drama and discourse, but this is going way too far. I might very well lose followers for this, but I really don’t care. What I care about is making this community a safe and accepting place for everyone. And after watching people get chased out of the community for having ““controversial”“ f/os, I’ve decided that I don’t want to sit back and be silent anymore.

Let me just get straight to the point.

Creating AUs where characters are different ages than canon doesn’t make you a pedophile.

I’m going to say this very clearly: No, I do not support pedophilia in any way. No, I do not support shipping characters who are children with characters who are adults. No, I do not support the sexualization of children in fictional media. And no, I am not attracted to children, fictional or otherwise.

However. Being attracted to a fictional character who is 16-17 years old (and who is drawn to look older to appeal to a wider audience) does NOT make you a pedophile. There is a stark difference in being attracted to an actual child/minor in real life and being attracted to a drawing that is labeled 16-17 years old, but looks 18-20. And there isn’t anything wrong with altering your S/I’s age to be closer to theirs or altering your F/O’s age to be closer to yours. (This doesn’t include adults who selfship with actual children 10-14 yrs old without changing their ages. That would be a major problem.)

While, personally, I don’t have any official F/Os that are under 18 (besides Satoshi and Ryo, as they are 17 at the beginning, but they grow older as the series progresses). But there are still plenty of characters who catch my eye and I have little crushes on who are “high-school age” in their respective media. Does that mean I have a thing for younger boys? Absolutely NOT.

But fictional characters don’t age. They will continue to be 16/17 forever unless they age within their story.

I have plenty of AUs where my S/I is in high school with the characters I like, or aged down a couple years to be closer in age with them if need be. There’s literally nothing wrong with that. Especially since y’all want to have a double standard and say “It’s okay for young selfshippers to ship with characters twice their age because it’s normal to crush on older people! It’s fine if you change your age then! :)” But as soon as an older selfshipper says “I’ve liked this character since I was 16 and now I’m 20, but I want my S/I to stay 16 with them,” suddenly everyone just doesn’t care what they have to say and slap them with a label and make them feel like shit for having feelings.

I’ve seen my mutuals and friends reblog posts that say things like “It’s not that hard to just drop a character once you’re an adult. I don’t care that you’ve had feelings for them since you were 15, you’re an adult now and its your responsibility to put an end to it.” Literally fuck off. Y’all know it’s not that easy to just decide you can’t love a character anymore once you turn 18. Some of the characters on my F/O List (especially my mains) have been characters that I’ve loved and crushed on since I was 15. Thankfully, they are all over 18, so I don’t have to worry about it. But there are a few characters that I still love a lot that I’ve loved for years and I will still continue to love them for many more years. I used to have a big crush on Tamaki Suoh from Ouran when I was 14-15 years old. I’m almost 23 now, and while I don’t selfship with him officially. I still have a crush on him. I still find him attractive and I still swoon when I rewatch Ouran and see him being flirtatious onscreen. That’s because he’s designed to appeal to women of all ages. He’s supposed to appeal to teenage girls and he’s also designed to appeal to young women too. Heck, they even acknowledge that IN UNIVERSE. He’s a character that’s super close to my heart and me still loving and caring about him years later does not make me a pedophile.

You guys aren’t “making this community a safe space for children” by posting and reblogging these callout and discourse posts. You’re creating an environment where adults are terrified of being falsely labeled as a pedo and being “cancelled” for having feelings for a character that they’ve cared about for years. You’re creating an environment where 23 year olds are constantly looking over their shoulders and worrying that they will be hated for shipping themselves with a character who is 18 because of the “age gap” (yes, I’ve seen that exact thing happen thanks to y’all).

TLDR: Liking fictional characters who are 16/17 years old when you are 18+ and aging them up/yourself down accordingly does NOT make you a pedophile. Fictional characters are not IRL minors. These two are not the same thing. Just because you have a crush on a 16/17 year old in a fictional media does NOT mean you are attracted to real life minors. Stop labeling people on the internet and forcing them out of the community over shit like this and worry about actual real life issues.

#self shipping community #self shipping #self ship #discourse #ino rambles #i want gonna say anything but yall are going fucking insane lately #god i am so fucking tired of seeing yalls shitty callout posts and stuff on my dash

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queerhannibal · 3 years

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That person you're stubbornly supporting made the panphobe list not because the original offender horrorlesbians was being panphobic b they had some sort of falling out (he was only a follower) so he made it his personal vendetta and targeted a lot of other lesbians and brown people. The brown people were put in a worse category and he called them monkeys. This has snowballed and a lot of people have gotten caught in the crossfire. Most of the people this individual managed to convince are minors or very naive people, other people have seen other 'panphobes' reacting to this in solidarity and have gotten the wrong impression if anything many bloggers are against the pansexual label for its origins based on biphobia and transphobia as you yourself said. People calling themselves panphobes is a reaction to this individual's lesbophobia and racism, if anything is an act of solidarity, yet they keep receiving anons, vagues and call outs. Please don't fall for it and don't give this person a platform. Everything was in the blog he deleted (most likely because it made him look bad). The person keeps reblogging you and acting offended and other lgbt people have fallen for it.

Horrorlesbians and their “beloved mutuals” started calling themselves panphobes publicly before the panphobe block list came out, in support of blogger fieropasta who is an avid and vociferous panphobe. I haven’t seen the block list and I don’t know anything about the person who made it (I don’t even know who they are) and quite frankly I don’t care about it at all, as it had nothing to do with the statements I made on my blog

Many people have erroneously called me a biphobe in the last few weeks, but because I love and support bi people I would never even jokingly say that I was one, and even if that were the only reason these people claimed to be panphobes (which I have evidence to suggest it is not) I would still be appalled by that behavior

There is not and never has been anything inherently biphobic or transphobic about identifying as pansexual. Was the term created based on certain biphobic or transphobic ideals? Maybe. Are there biphobic and transphobic pansexuals? Sure. But there are people like that within any sexuality, and most pansexuals do not identify as pansexual out of hatred or misunderstanding but bc they just prefer using a term that doesn’t (however incidentally) imply an attraction to only two genders. It’s horrifying to me that you would dismiss people claiming to hate a group of people for their sexuality just bc other people were bigoted against them and/or being mean to them??????

It’s literally morally wrong to be panphobic. If someone were mean to my friend and called them a lesbophobe and I was like “well then I’m a lesbophobe too” that would be wrong of me, wouldn’t it? And that’s literally what these people are doing. If someone calls you out for doing something wrong and they’re wrong to do that, the appropriate response is to say “I can’t believe you’d say that about me, of course I’m not a panphobe, I support people’s right to identify as different sexualities”. It’s amazing to me that you’re making an argument that anything else is appropriate lmao like????

I was not “””convinced””” by that anon, I was well aware of the problem before anyone said anything to me about it and just hadn’t said anything bc I’m old and tired and I try to stay out of discourse these days, but when directly asked to comment on my stance I sure as hell fucking have one

I’m sorry someone was being racist to these people (although all the people I personally knew on the reported blocklist were white, including horrorlesbians and fieropasta, the only two I have personally said anything against) but that has nothing to do with them being shitty to pansexual people, which is the only thing I have said anything about at all.

It disgusts me that you think it’s acceptable to come to me and try to say “don’t you know it’s racist to dislike panphobes” as if those two things have ANYTHING to do with each other. And I can assure you plenty of “”real”” panphobes are out there; just look at the notes on my posts about how it’s okay to be pan. This isn’t a made up problem someone came up with to be racist, it’s real and it hurts real people

#sorry again this ask was just too much for me to ignore #discourse #pansexuality discourse #panphobia #bisexuality discourse #not hannibal #asks #anon asks #racism

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loki-zen · 3 years

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A non-exhaustive list of things that tend to make me stop following people, in no way intended as instructions on how you should live your life.

Regular and repeated posting or reblogging of:

donation posts (I can’t afford the to help you all or the emotional investment to read them given that that is the case, and if I read it and can’t give money I’ll definitely feel like I should reblog it, and I don’t want to put my followers in this same position! so I just skip past and try to avoid them where possible.)

posts that insist that readers (or readers of certain demographics) must reblog or which otherwise attempt to guilt or shame readers into interaction

posts which are casually defamatory of any broad demographic group, especially one I belong to or could not easily be distinguished from. this includes groups like ‘white people’ or ‘cis women’ or ‘white women’, not just Officially Marginalised Groups. One day on tumblr I decided that the mandate to Listen to POC Voices did not actually oblige me to have a dash at the site I go to for fun and to relax which regularly referred to people falling within my visual race categorisation as literally Satan, and I endorse this decision and will apply it to other things. People are not obliged to sit back and take nationalistic hate - not of the format that blames them for the actions of their government and/or ancestors, and not of the format that is simply ‘justified’ by the above having done bad things. It’s not funny or cute for USians to rag on anyone for Imperialism. It’s not funny or cute for Americans to tag on most nationalities, frankly - picture it as kids in the playground and you’ll see why it’s not cute for the biggest, richest kid to do this.

Very long discourse threads with no readmores, especially the same one multiple times (I know, I know - I do this one.)

Anything at all at such frenetic pace that it swamps my dash

things that squick me out like graphic descriptions of human faeces or sincere sexual/kinky use of ‘Daddy’

This is a random collecting-together of thoughts, and very much not, say, a DNI. As I’ve said before there are lots of people I consider ‘mutuals’ who I technically don’t follow, for the above reasons or others. (Easier to be primed for this stuff if I just read someone’s tumblr every once in a while rather than have it on my dash.)

I also just cycle the dash every so often depending on how long I want it to be right now, so I might literally unfollow you because I’m busy. I am mildly sorry that my social signals are all over the place but also kinda not because it’s as a result of making the website usable for me.

Edit: in case it needed to be said, the ‘nationalistic hate’ thing is not about Israel, and for the most part I don’t consider the criticism I’ve seen thereof to count as the thing I mean. (It I suppose kinda borders on it maybe in as much as often talking about ‘Israel’ doing this and that, but while that does pattern-match to some of my ‘talking about a country like it’s a collective entity whose actions the citizenry at large have direct input into and responsibility for’ twitches, especially in this sort of emerging situation I think objecting to that would run up against my other heuristic, ‘where possible do not be perverse/uncharitable in your interpretation of people who are talking normally rather than As Precisely As Possible.’

#i don't know how to tumblr

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morethanaprincess-a · 2 years

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@badboysupr said: for the mun questions meme!! 6 & 15 uwu

Questions for Muns of Canon Muses - Accepting!

6. What is the general opinion of your muse’s fandom about them? Do you agree with it?

In general, this is what I’ve seen the fandom say about Sonia:

- SO PRETTY!!!

- Boring. Literally so boring. Why does anyone like her?

- Please step on me/drive over me in a tank so I can thank you

- Sonia’s fate in SDR2 should’ve been different because she’s boring and useless (trying to avoid spoilers for mutuals playing the games for the first time rn, but if you’ve played the game, you know how it ends for her. A lot of fans think she should’ve been, ah, more involved in the other trials)

- She’s a giant idiot who can’t get phrases right. What a moron!

- She only exists to cause more character development for Gundham and Kazuichi. Or, alternatively, Sonia is just in the way of the Gundham/Kazuichi ship and should be removed immediately.

- ROMANTICALLY SHIP HER WITH ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE. Mostly because she’s so nice and will automatically care for/look after your character/muse!

- Is being a princess an actual talent? Really?

- She’s cute with Gundham! And Chiaki! And Akane!

- Too obsessed with serial killers and horror movies.

Now, as to if I agree with it?

...A lot of it, absolutely not (though I agree she’s pretty and she is fascinated by horror and serial killers).

Some of it is a Danganronpa writing/characterization problem. Some of it is what, I believe at least, the fandom deems a strong/good/worthwhile female character (You don’t see much Chiaki or Kyoko hate, for example. Don’t get me started on the female characters I personally don’t care for, because the fandom LOVES them, for the most part. Actually, that goes for characters in general I don’t really like in this series). And Sonia doesn’t fit that mold.

My biggest gripes with how the fandom sees her are the following: That she’s boring/didn’t deserve the screen time she got, that she’s only there for shipping fodder/give Gundham and Kazuichi character development, she’s an idiot/being a princess isn’t a real talent, and she needs to be romantically involved with everyone.

Being a princess isn’t boring. Sonia rattles off the variety of skills she has to master as a princess and...that’s no small feat, honestly. She has to master international law, economics, languages, diagnostic medicine, mandatory military training, and more. She’s sheltered, she’s still learning Japanese (at least in the beginning of the DR3 anime and, due to the circumstances of SDR2, that game as well), she’s just very happy to be here. But that doesn’t make her an idiot or worthless: she’s not brash or always brandishing a weapon, but that doesn’t make her any less strong and capable of a person.

Now, for being shipping fodder? That’s a problem, a rather big one in fact, with the writing in this series. I can absolutely see where fans are coming with that, and while I don’t care for that opinion I can understand it. Frankly, the games don’t give her a lot of scenes where she can really utilize her talent (let’s not talk about the final episode of DR3. Where Sonia is concerned, it just aggravates me): she’s there for Kazuichi to simp over and for Gundham to have a friend or girlfriend. There are plenty of scenes in SDR2 that are wholly focused on this. Sometimes both at the same time.

And finally, just because a muse is a kind person with a tendency to look after others before herself does not mean she needs to be romantically involved with everyone. Especially on this blog, chemistry is important and some of the “popular” Sonia ships I just don’t care for over here. Being nice doesn’t equal immediate attraction/I love you/let me care for and look after you forever and ever.

Sigh. This got more rant-y than I intended. I’m sorry about that. I try to stay out of fandom discourse for the most part.

15. What plots/interactions leave you feeling protective of your muse?

In general, these two are the biggest ones that make me feel protective to the point of hesitating to write them at all, barring muns I really trust:

Smut and Despair-verse. And frankly, for my Sonia headcanons, these two are combined more often than not.

It mostly boils down to the following: I hate being followed/interacted with solely for the point of shipping, especially just for the sake of smut. I do write it. Sonia is, in many ways, a sex-positive muse who does engage in consensual, age-appropriate sexual intercourse. But I like writing it as part of a bigger plot, a bigger story, and not for the sake of two characters having sex with each other. When that’s the only plot on the table, it gets stale very fast and it can feel, at times, that it’s more to appeal to the mun, so to speak, than actually write a fun and engaging plotline. I’ve also been burned so many times by blogs just wanting to fuck my muse and nothing else that I’m just tired of dealing with it.

It’s why there’s smut on here, but not too often and it’s always after a lot of interactions and character development leading to that point.

For Despair-verse, it’s more writing it to fit a larger story as well, as opposed to just writing a lot of violent/gross/sexual content for the sake of writing it. I allude more to Sonia’s past acts in threads than actually writing Despair-verse itself, but I’ve run into muns who just want to write something disturbing for the sake of it and not for any real character development. And I’m not a fan of that.

Two topics that I’m protective of for the same reason, honestly. Because I like long-term plots, threads, character development and I hate feeling like my muse (and my writing) has just been used for sex/violence and then the other mun and muse disappear.

#more-than-a-princess answered #more-than-a-princess musings #badboysupr #(Questions for the Muns of Canon Muses meme)#(Thank you for the ask! And for the follow!)#(Can't wait to plot and write with you!)

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genderfluidlucifer · 3 years

Text

Response to being asked to give an opinion on Connie’s calout by residentevil-4

(Tw: CSAM, rape fic, incest fic, predatory behavior, racism, ableism, kink mention, nsfw mentions. Minors should probably dni.)

“Connie and I know each other irl and went to school together for 3 years, although they now live in a different state and have cut contact with me. We went to a private therapy school in Manhattan as we're both disabled and were deemed unable to attend public school. Even though we were pretty close, Connie didn't like having photos taken of them, so I don't have any selfies of the two of us; however, these are from our sophomore and senior yearbooks which at least confirms that we were in the same year at school. People who have seen Connie's selfies should be able to confirm that that is what they look like. First and foremost, Connie is not TMA. They are intersex and the two of us have discussed intersex issues both in person and online, but they are still decidedly CAFAB.” Ok so first off, I want to address this part of the callout. To be honest...was it really necessary to literally doxx Connie ehre? Because this textbook definition of doxxing. Yes Connie’s done some shitty things but I freally don’t think that what they’ve done warrants this level of doxxing. Or...even better, any doxxing. This feels like a really unnecessary breach of privacy, revealing sensitive information on Connie’s childhood that they choose to confide in you with. I really don’t agree with this aspect of the callout as it feels very invasive and bordering on stalkerish. Btw when I say bordering on stalkerish I’m not directly calling you a stalker Bonnie. Just so we’re clear. I am not defending Connie supposedly faking being TMA. Because faking being TMA is a very serious issue. HOWEVER since I don’t know Connie irl and to be quite frank it’s none of my business what the nature of their agab is. Were not close and I’m certainly not going to like lead Connie onto thinking we’re friends just to confirm this with them because that would be creepy. So to be honest I’m going to take this part of the callout with again of salt for now.

[ID: A cropped screenshot of a numbered list Connie posted to their blog hadrosaurs in response to an ask.

“3. I’m TMA And that’s completely irrelevant. I’m not accusing them because of their gender I didn’t even know their gender when they said that to me saying that they said that because they fucking said that and the reaction to it was incredibly alarming. Don’t fucking say that stuff to people.]

I mean I”m not a trans woman so take this with a grain of salt if you want but...I don’t see how this is really proof of Connie being deliberately transmisogynistic? Yes Connie gives iffy retellings of mistakes they’ve made in the past. I’ve seen that on their blog before and I won’t pretend it doesn’t happen. BUT here they sound genuine enough and to be honest a growing issue I’ve seen with callouts as of late is. A person confirms they in fact did not do the thing they were called out for. And then the people who make the callout choose to see it as proof of incriminating behavior anyways. To be honest it’s a big problem and it’s also incredibly unfair to the person being called out. If you’re so determined at that point to see the person as bigoted no matter what they say then of course anything they say can be seen as proof. So I’m going to have to pass on this bit of evidence. “Connie responded: “Final note: I have spoken extensively with several trans women about using TMA to describe myself. I will not be getting into discourse about that on this blog again. All that leads to is people demanding my medical records and calling me slurs. If you wanna have a thoughtful conversation about it direct message me cause it’s not happening again here.” Again this really doesn’t seem all that self incriminating. Connie mentions here that they’ve talked to rl trans woman about whether or not they can be considered TMA. Connie really doesn’t have to disclose that personal information to people for any reason. Yes even when people are e including this ask response in a callout. And considering lots of people DO get invasive about Connie’s medical history ans general personal life over matters like this? I feel their reaction is pretty understandable here. “Connie has constantly compared “exclusionists” (or anyone, really) to TERFs, even when the people in question are not transmisogynistic, trans exclusionary radfems, or are even transmisogyny affected themselves.

“ Gonna have to disagree with this part of the callout too. Lots of ace inclus blogs, even some run by trans women , have proven that the ace exclus movement was started by swerfs/terfs. But the blog that has the most evidence for this is courteousmingler on tumblr. I suggest you check out that blog’s archiving of the history of ace exclus rhetoric before rushing to call me a transmisogynist for disagreeing with this part of the callout. I looked through all of the evidence for Connie being racist and tbh as a black ndn it all feels incredibly flimsy. It’d be one thing if Connie was using their experiences to derail and invalidate the discussions about how black people are oppressed But they weren’t doing that there at all. This part of the post feels incredibly biased. And like OP is looking for things to be mad about. Going to have to pass on this list of evidence. Also uh I seem to recall that residentevil04 got called out for some questionable behavior as well. “Both me (insepsy, hi) and ezrat have had really weird spikes in activity on our Statcounters, both on the same day. (Saturday, 4/17/21) For both of us, majority of the pages looked at by these visitors have been related to or about Connie, or have been posts that Connie would find "problematic" such as the f slur untagged or something related to "panphobia"/aphobia. I’m sorry but...none of the proof of cyberstalking holds any water. Visiting someone’s blogs and rbing posts to disagree with them is not cyberstalking. Keeping tabs on urls that an abusive person who has harassed are using so you can block them (in this case with kyoshi) and warn your mutuals is not stalking. As a victim of rl stalking it’s...really weird to call this legit stalking at all. Much less claim that you have damning proof of it being stalking when no such evidence exists in the callout. Besides after Connie and nonbinarydave called out one of kyoshi’s buddies for sending a death threat hate anon to nonbinarydave’s toddler st4lker partly admitted to doing it a few times. Then other mutuals in kyoshi’s toxic social circle clearly began joining in. Making side accounts where they tried to spin a false narrative of nonbinarydave’s daughter being one of their alters (ableist as hell.) And also trying to do it in such a way that they thought would trigger nonibnarydave’s psychosis (also ableist as hell.) If you’re going to drag Connie for their mistakes and never let them move on from those mistakes then it’s only fair to do that to people you agree with who also do toxic/bigoted things. ALso the fact that your wording here suggests that you think panphobia and aphobia aren’t real makes me doubt this claim even more. Exclus and their allies are notorious for mislabeling inclus disagreeing with them as stalking. “connie said that they would release that info at a later time and the minor began to argue with them that they had a responsibility regardless of their complicated relationship with age. in this argument connie for a time kept their age ambiguous and at one point told the minor (who confirmed in a later ask that they were severely traumatized by adults) that they obviously weren’t traumatized. connie quickly deleted this ask and any mentions of it and the next post they reblogged was about how wrong it was to try and quantify or discount others’ trauma. on my old blog i @ed them in the replies and asked if they had just done that. connie admitted to it and said it was fucked up but quickly blocked + deleted my comment. i can’t remember whether or not connie apologized to the minor, they may have? but yeah. i thought that was pretty weird.”] I do agree with some of the concern here that adults shouldn’t over expose minors in discourse. I’ve been contemplating this for awhile myself. And trying to figure out how to take better steps to avoid including minors who are triggered by discourse in discourse, especially. HOWEVER I have one little issue with this addition to the callout. If that is the case then exclus and their allies need to practice this as well. You cannot ignore the fact that the reason a lot of minors are getting involved in exclus discourse is due to adult exclus and their allies forcing minors to pick a side in the discourse. Y’all are not at all exempt from this problem. I still remember an ex mutual of mine trying to convince a minor to agree that aces can’t face corrective rape. And based on how aggressive it got with me when I tried to avoid giving an opinion on the matter, I can’t imagine that it would’ve reacted better to the minor refusing to give an opinion or to the minor outright disagreed. Refusing to put these standards on exclus and their allies is both hypocritical and quite frankly very transparent. The claims about them glorifying dark topics on AO3 through their fics also seems unfortunately legit. I mean those asks of shaming people who ask their viewers to not romanticize or glorify abusive relationships in their works is very damning. I’m very disappointed to see that Connie has taken being an inclus to the point of validating antis anti culture wholeheartedly. I can’t think of much more to add to my opinion on that part of the callout. As for the issue of Connie interacting with pro shippers in the past, I do know that this claim is legit. I’ve seen it before and so has Breeze. This was why for a brief time we decided to stop following their blogs. Because it was triggering to have pro shippers put on our dash. And sometimes we just don’t feel it’s worth it to always let people we’re platforming know they’re rbing triggering stuff. So sometimes we just quietly unfollow and choose to not interact until we’re sure they’re filtering what they do and don’t rb in some way. I definitely don’t agree with that behavior. And if they’re still doing that I”ll deplatform again. “The anon asks: “A weird question but do you know any other stimboard blogs with your follow criteria? (No radfems, racists, fandom antis, etc.) I was hoping to find more through your “similar blogs” but a lot have no anti-antis for their DNI or allow truscum/transmeds and exclus. :(“

The user responds: “I know of @turtle-pond-stims, @outofangband, and @kinaesthetics! 🍂🍄" “[ID: A cropped screenshot of an ask sent by Connie from their now-deactivated blog, butch-with-a-tortoise.

Connie says: “hey anon I have safe stim blogs. dm me if you want them. And radfems/bigots aren’t allowed to interact. For my own safety (because the community is honestly terrifying) I can’t publicly say on my blogs that I’m safe for proshippers/kinky people but I try to spread word how I can.”] [ID: Screenshot of a post by evilwriter37, which reads, “I’ve been seeing posts about fandom police leaving ao3, and it’s like: Good. We don’t want you here anyway. Go find your own fanfiction site.”

The post is tagged “#Fandom #AO3 #Antis #Purity Culture” and has 87 notes. It was posted on December 21st, 2020.

There is a reply from main-to-outofangband-andothers saying: “there are Silm antis on that site who are against Russigon (Maedhros and Fingon) not because they’re cousins but because they’re both male (coded)”] [ID: A screenshot of an anonymous (though signed off as being from outofangband) ask sent to evilwriter37, which says, “Melkor and Viggo solidarity is ‘Look there’s nothing wrong with keeping my enemy chained up in my personal chambers at all times so please just focus on the war efforts and I’ll focus on the boy* in my chambers’ -@outofbangand.

*boy used figuratively @ antis”

The user responds: “Pfft!!! Hahaha! You’re absolutely right! (And Viggo does refer to Hiccup in canon as ‘my boy’).”] I can’t really say anything to refute this. Because these are all posts of Connie outright stating that they disagree with antis. And not only sympathize with anti antis but are fully against antis. Looks like very damning evidence. Although ngl I’m not entirely against kinky blogs as a whole? Just so long as they truly stay in their lane with their kink content. And don’t force it on others in any way. Or shame people who are triggered by their kinks. It is true that being entirely against kinky blogs no matter what is dipping your toes into swerf rhetoric. Tbh I’m not going to look at the rest. This is pretty much all I need to make a decision on whether or not I”ll continue platforming Connie. Though I will try to get some more perspective from people who I interact with as well. Because I feel better about making a more definitive decision after doing that. Also in general please don’t not try to get an opinion from me on how I feel about syscourse. A lot of the claims about Connie’s age weirdness and them using their alters as a shield feel like syscourse to me. Especially if this callout was written by one or several singlets. Singlets should never be trying to judge how legit someone’s system is ever. Even if their system friends encourage them to. You can call out a horrible person with a system without trying to insinuate that they’re lying about their alters in some way. Doing otherwise is ableist ESPECIALLY if you’re a singlet. Also in general the reason I stay out of discussions of judging how someone is handling their systems is because it’s syscourse and syscourse is triggering for my system and I. If this post was an attempt to get me to give an opinion on the validity of Connie’s system I don’t appreciate it. And I would appreciate not being dragged into such matters again, thank you.

In general there’s like a few parts of this callout that feel legit. Which is unfortunately cluttered with obvious bias and obsessive hatred of Connie. I’m not here to stan or coddle Connie. I know they are not a perfect person. Especially since no human being in the world is perfect. But I feel the way this callout was created was very sloppy since a lot of the evidence was messy at best. And some points were very hypocritical as well as there being some no true scotsman moments from OP. In acting like exclus never do any of the thing that they tried to call out Connie for. Which is behavior that I am not a fan of. This is why people need to be more careful about callouts and like make roughdrafts and have a more unbiased person helping them if they don’t feel they can do it on their own. I’m even trying to make a resolve to do better at that myself. So it’s not like I’m unwilling to put my money where my mouth is. Anyways those are all my thoughts on this messy callout. And tbh I’m not going to get too much more heavily involved in this. Because I need to focus on more immediately serious rl stuff more often, like doing what I can to get out of the hellish landscape of a house I currently am stuck in.

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