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boxwinebaddie · 3 months

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Hi Uncle Nina! What kind of movies do Ravenstan and Jerseykyle like to watch? ^^

OOOOOOOH! so as with everything, i Definitely think jersey is a snob. movies are no exception. also he does not call movies 'movies', he 100% is annoying and pretentious as fuck and uses 'film' or 'cinema'. also speaking of being pretentious, annoying and the word 'cinema', i think ravesey's dynamic is super funny for a lot of reasons but in this case, it's funny to me bc when style watches movies together, kyle says shit like 'y'know i like the plot progression of the film, but i'm not a big fan of the cinema topography."

— and stan trying to be big brain is like "ya! i also hate the cinnamontophography." <3 skdhsldsk bless him and kyle is abt to correct him bc ohhh my fucking god, but lowkey he tried his best and that was very cute, so kyle just kisses him on the cheek, squeezes his shoulder, stifles a laugh and is like "well, i guess you're the expert, cinnamon boy." <3 jersey stop being Sweet and Lovely!!!

anyways, jersey is giving me the energy of those kids in elementary school that adults say have an 'old soul' and likes really complex abstract movies, foreign films in black and white that play at some tiny theater for $5 on fridays, which, kyle is obviously a homebody and hates other people, but when he needs air or is feeling briefly zesty/willing to endure human beings enough to see a movie ( which, granted, it's def just him and the old ass man/annoying indie college student that run the place shooting the shit in there ), he will...make the trip out there and buy a pack of skittles and a sparkling ice ( okay, i had an anon say that kyle probably drinks those sparkling ice drinks and i fucking cried bc he DEFINETELY does and it's def the black cherry flavor bc kyle is cherry coded, however he will also accept the raspberry one or the fruit punch in a punch ) and ofc only eat the red skittles, smh.

i do think he still likes all the regular kyle scifi movies/high fantasy movies, stuff with dystopian societies/political uprisings ( him & stan have overlap there and obvi some high fantasy/scifi stuff but kyle has to explain a lot of it, kyle do be mansplaining shit but its okay because stan loves the sound of his voice <3 gay ) specifically things with deep complex lore, movies with puzzles/things that need to be solved, def watched interstellar a couple times and like, donnie darko bc of all the time lore ( that movie does freak him out btw, he was clenching hard the first time he watched it because he thought that the fucking rabbit dude was gonna kill everyone and it was gonna turn into a horror movie which...more on that subject l8r )

and i bet you he says his fav movie is some big brain movie in like swedish, black and white, is all philisophical and pretentious and deep but tbh...? i think jersey's favorite movies are specifically old romance movies like fkn casablanca, gone with the wind type stuff. yes, kyle being a secret romantic boy is very cute to me, i fucking love him so much, he is secretly v sentimental and warm.

if you've seen gossip girl, jersey is a blair waldorf variant

( which, okay sidebar for nina lore but i watched a fuck ton of gossip girl growing up and i had such a fat crush on serena van der woodsen, like not even blake lively, specifically serena van der woodsen like i have mental problems, i would not fumble her, fuck you so much, dan humphrey, serena please ONE CHANCE!!!!!! )

and i think he fucks very heavy with audrey hepburn and her movies, like roman holiday, sabrina, okay my fair lady is so jersey coded bc of his new jersey slaughterhouse accent/its a musical and he is a dork, he does like musicals so much buuuut i think his favorite movie is my favorite movie which is...breakfast at tiffany's. WHICH???

okay, if you think about it is super interesting given stan's previous line of work ( which okay, i know he wasn't really doing anything and just sort of enduring it to be able to sing, but being trapped in that uncomfortable, hypersexual environment and being constantly percieved & being constantly obsessed over. )

he do be skipping over the all the really insensitive shit w/ the overblown racist asian caricature of holly's neighbor ( that man is too loud anyways he's like please shut up, his ears are sensitive...both to sound and just in general, fml there's a nsfw headcannon abt that ) but idk all the romantic stuff is very cute, he likes the cinnamontophography, all of holly's stuff about getting over her fear of commitment, the fashion statements...chef's kiss to him.

i think he also fucks secretly with pride and prejudice like pep!kyle wHERE IS THE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE THEMED MARRIAGE PROPOSAL STAN I'M WAITING!!!! kyle can quote it line for line, i think he likes when they're set in victorian periods like omg i bet you he watched bridgerton and was obsessed lmaooo, all the adpations of emma jane austen movies, atonement...stuff like that. he does make stan watch them with him sometimes and stan is so hopeless his adhd is so bad he needs ACTION also all the shakespeare-y speak stresses him out so bad, he asks so many questions and can't sit still.

he does...sigh, strategically time makeout sessions In The Middle Of Movies when he gets bored, kyle is like stanley marsh that is not going to work...it does...work everytime skdhshds speaking of that nsfw hc, kyle's neck and ears are hella sensitive so if you like drag ur teeth along his ear or start trailing kisses down his neck, his mind goes completely blank, stan does it when kyle's yelling at him about stuff all the time, kyle gets so mad at him later...and i do mean later because he is like i have to do something first ( hint: it's stan, lmao )

SPEAKING OF STAN!!!!! in vein of them being opposites attract kings, stan is naught an old soul ( i mean, in terms of music, he is sorta vintage ) and fucks very heavy with new movies. he really likes actiony stuff, lots of explosions and shit, very loud, very fast-paced. i feel like he likes superhero movies, like part of the stan name is because he was like eight and thought stan lee was a GENIUS. he watched into the spiderverse like...40 times. he has mental problems. stan likes cars, he does like the fast and furious movies, smh.

i think he...Specifically likes horror movies, though? because he is a spooky ooky edgy boy halloween KING? they just scratch an itch in his brain and he is engaged the entire time because there is either constant suspense or crazy amounts of action and running around. KYLE HATES IT, BTW!!!! kyle is a scaredy cat. like he is the scariest motherfucker on planet earth in person, but the silences and shit freak him out so much, he is not good with jump scares, he is behind his hands, in stan's lap, swearing soooo much like stanstanstan what the fuck I SWEAR TO GOD IF THAT WAS THE INVISIBLE MAN, I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF, HOLY SHIT DID THAT JUST mOVE??? stan is deeply amused and thinks it is adorable, so he does subject kyle to stan spooky scary movie hour sometimes just to hold him...gaaaaay! idk which one is his favorite i have to get back to you on that. if you have suggestions like me know haha i am also...a scaredy cat.

a couple last things on stan and horror movies though is, i feel like that might be a contreversial take because stan doesn't like blood, but i think the scenarios being fake and because he works with so much fake blood doing whore-ror crimson dawn music videos, he just knows what it looks like and can tell hella quick. if he knows it's not real, it does not freak him out. i think he only thing he doesn't like is animals being killed...like people are fine??? help??? oh my god??? but not dogs or anything. he will cry and cower.

i also think that...weirdly...it combats his ptsd? specfifically final girl type movies where someone lives and kills the antagonist in a horror movie because it's very...relevant to him and reminds him that you can survive something horrible and be okay. and again, even when it's a total wipeout and not a happy ending, the catharsis of being scared and surprised is relaxing to him and knowing scary things can happen and be fake/everyday is not war or hell is good for him. he does avoid specifically triggering things with farms or fire? unless there is something where setting something on fire as a final girl/boy saves the town or everyone because...again...relevant and healing.

idk...complicated, but we get my gist, yeah?

i think they do a movie night once a week or something and they alternate choosing...they also complain bc their movie tastes are so different but love conquers all lmao, and they can always watch lotr and star wars and stuff. I THINK WHEN THEY'RE BEING CUTE THEY WATCH STUDIO GHIBLI MOVIES AND STUFF??? SO CUTE OMG. speaking of cartoons and anime adjacent things...stan do be making kyle watch stanime...kyle is in hell...jersey is like why are there so many boobs, why are they screaming, why are there 1000 episodes, he does also strategically plan makeout sessions ( i am so sorry it doesn't always work, stans boyfail cringe energy is so strong it's so awful, kyle is like literally on top of him and is like ;) if you turn the tv off, i can turn something else on and stan is like baby, you are blocking the epic battle scene, he's about to charge up his attack!!! KHDLSK I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN KYLE IS GONNA KILL HIM )

they do watch a lot of tv shows together, kyle's comfort television shows are still say yes to the dress and masterchef/gordon ramsey food network cooking competition type stuff — bc i'm watching next level chef, they are also watching next level chef and they scream so much like bRO HE'S GONNA MISS THE PLATFORM WHAT THE FUCK WHAT IS HE DOING!!!! it's so funny

speaking of say yes to the dress tho and stuff like that when kyle comes in all busted up from his bar fight and stan's patching it up, towards the end of that interaction right before they get back together, kyle is like "did you watch the new one?" and stan's like "no. i couldn't watch it without you. & even if i could, i wouldn't bc i don't know, i just didn't want to think about people being in..."

and kyle just takes a deep, steep breath and is like...

"...love."

and stan nods.

fuck my life.

ANYWAYS! there you go!

-uncle nina, butcherer of headcannons

#this was so long i am so sorry i had a lot to say #i hope this makes sense and feels right it felt right to me ig?#it made sense to me? idk idk idk #but no kyle is definetely an old school dramatic romantic movie boy even if he doesnt look like it and will lie & say hes not #it makes his heart warm and his eyes shiny omg #stan initiating makeout sessions when he gets bored is so real oh my god kyle is so weak too hes like Stan Absolutely Not #buuut it works everytime literally every time im not even joking hes like siGGghhh *pause* the netflix 'are u still watching'#no they are not...no they are absolutely not #jersey is def the type to watch those dramatic british victorian romance movies swooning over hands tensing and veins and shit #he is so touchy feely on the low im crying #MEANWHILE STAN IS ROMANCE BOY BUT HE DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR THAT SHIT HE IS MOVING #HE IS SO SLAM WHAM POW WHACK SMACK #people fighting and shit? beating up bad guys? car chases explosions aliens monsters ACTION #hes so with it his eyes also get shiny he gets so excited #kyle does not watch anything he just watches stan get excited abt stuff and stan vice versa im love them #STAN AND HORROR MOVIES IS REAL THO HIM USING IT TO FIGHT HIS PTSD IT MEANS A LOT TO ME IT FEELS RIGHT TO ME #like just overcoming fear and just being constantly engaged bc of the suspense and all the running and stuff but yeah horror movies #specifically when the protagonist lives or says most of their friends or their town and defeats the big evil...good for stan #jersey kyle being baby asf and in stans lap is also v cute to me #it is very cute to stan he is like mi amor its gonna be ok!!!#kyle is like im gonna kill myself its gonna jump out rn okay im ready im ready n HES STILL NOT READY FOR IT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

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skeletood · 1 year

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Another week another stupid boys posting :]

New episode thoughts as always under the read more,

YAYYY THE EPISODES EVERYBODYS BEEN WAITING FOR im so excited they were great

Tobacco Farmers:

- Poor Van D, im surprised he even tries anymore he should know better at this point also for some reason Butthead referring to him as “That Hippy” made me laugh way too hard

- GOD HOLY FUCK. BEAVIS LIKE DEBATING LORD-ING OVER A STUPID LYRIC GOT TO ME WAY MORE THAN IT SHOULDVE “Let’s just say, hypothetically for the sake of argument, there was a pool on the edge of a cliff JUST HUMOR ME ON THIS-” shut up who showed this kid Ben Shapiro. speaking of that theyd think hes such a dork but thats a whole other tangent

- “I swear to god bitch if you dont shut your damn trap”

we’ve been so blessed with so many GREAT Butthead faces lately he’s been such a bitch too. im all over it

- SIR. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. SPIT THOSE OUT RIGHT NOW

actual toddler behavior

- See? They’re good boys they're helping :]

REALLY GOOD EPISODE!!!! Honestly the video segment had me laughin harder than the episode itself but still fun and entertaining.

And now with the Big Bad of the releases

Married:

- Okay!! I guess no new apartment for the boys...... saaaadge :[ I was kinda hoping SOMEWHAT that Pardon Our Dust would have consequences? But I’m fine with the usual no continuation between eps

- I ALSO LIKE SEEING THE OLD FARTS INTERACTING WITH OTHER PEOPLE MORE THIS SEASON its really interesting i love that theyre just the stupid old neighbors like we all knew theyd be

- HOW ARE YOU SO SMALLLLLLLLL

- SHOCKED to see that they have a car? boys where’d you get that

- Getting married due to laziness 1. expected 2. yea id do the same

- GOD FUCK NOT THE SILLY VOICES SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPP. I CANT STAND YOU!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEZE SHUT UP BUTTHEAD SHUT THE FUCK UP NOT THE GAY VOICE them going back and forth on bits GODDDD

- YAY apartment lore!!!

- SHUT UP I HATE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU

- “Good for you!” thats right, good for them these bitches gay!

- IM SO GLAD THEY WROTE IN A STUPID COUPLE ARGUMENT theyre such a couple through and through they dont even have to like get all romancey to solidify it more theyre just Like that. its everything i want

- :]

- AND THE SUNSET LETS GO FUUUUCK YEAH

“We’re good just the way we are” Damn fuckin right you are. Nothing has to change its not like they were ever gunna separate anyways????? Like. this just makes so much sense to me :]

Okay this episode was EVERYTHING I hoped it would be. Stupid miscommunications, the fake couple argument, deciding they don’t feel like getting divorced AND going off into the sunset. Literally checked off EVERYTHING i had in my list of hopes for this ep (all it was missing was the cheesy romance disney ass music at the end). I wouldn’t have wanted it to turn out any other way and it cracks me tf up they still dont realize theyre married to EACH OTHER. Now, will this continue into other episodes like how we saw the ending of Pardon Our Dust didn’t seem to stay canon? Idk! I doubt its ever going to be brought up again. But in my heart and mind Beavis and Butthead are now legally married, love wins or something :] somebody go update the wiki

So happy to see this episode finally come full circle :]

OH YEAH AND WE'RE ON A GREAT STREAK OF NO PISS DRINKING.

OVERALL STILL NO MISSES, every episode has managed to make me laugh the video segments literally had me almost falling over this time. such a great day to be a beavis and butthead fan :]

#bnb spoiler tag #skeletalk #being married must suck huh buthead #ehehehe #goodnight guys

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leoleolovesdc · 5 months

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If I was to rewrite victorious Andre would be a cool trans guy who everyone in the school wants to go out w but hes actually secretly (not as much as he’d like to think, but still) pining for Cat, who’s actually aroace and pretty oblivious to his feelings, but she does entertain the thought of being w him which results in some silly situations like:

Cat: [kisses Andre on the cheek]

Cat (giggling): Sorry, I’m such a dork..

Andre: Thank you.

Cat: Huh?

Andre: [telling everything to the gang later]

Tori: Seriously?! “Thank you”??

Andre (sobbing in embarassment): I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, OKAY?

Tori would be this one highschool kid who has gone to one too many identity crisis in middle shool regarding her gender and sexuality and has simply given up on labeling themselves. When she comes to Hollywood arts and the coffee incident happens there’s no romantic or sexual tension w Beck whatsoever (but Jade still hates her out of spite), they become very good friends w Andre just like in the show, is also good friends w Cat and Robbie and forms this unapologetically gay rivalry w Jade.

Jade is basically the same, just maybe less cartoonishly evil?? Still a lot of anger issues, bisexual she/they energy. breaking things and scaring the shit out of ppl. She dates Beck by the beginning but they very obvsly dont get along and its js as delightful as it is annoying hearing them argue abt everything all the fcking time and rant abt how much they hate each other js to not break up (they will eventually, dw)

Beck is not changed much, just more consistent. Sarcastic pretty boy, good actor, very blunt and open about his feelings, simply impossible to scare (maybe that’s why he managed to date Jade for so long💀)

Robbie is js the same weirdo w a puppet, except in this he’d lean more into a asshole-nerd trope. Is a fucking cunt to everyone, probably has big ass crush on Beck that he’ll never admit, flirts w every girl he sees out of insecurity, etc.

In this concept Rex is pretty much his own person, but since Robbie is a jackass then they are over all more similar, Rex still “bullies” Robbie, but it’s slightly toned down as they probably enjoy the same kinda things, have more compatible personalities, etc. Robbie’s js more awkward about… welll, everything.

Trina is still Trina, except we’d treat her like a actual character and not some “look, she’s bad at singing” joke

Cat is similar to her early seasons’ version, she is kinda dumb, volatile and weird but not completely out of it. She kind of knows how to play people (especially boys) to get what she wants. Most of her dumbness would actually be translated into obliviousness, Cat doesn’t notice thiings, she’s always in her own world and doesn’t rlly care abt “normal” things

In this Andre and Tori are best friends (none of the og chow fuckery where they claim beck and andre r besties somehow)

Cat and Robbie are completely platonic on Cat’s side while Robbie makes a few moves on her once in a while (w/o any intention of actually dating her)

Jade and Tori are just gay. I can’t really explain any way else. It’s the same as in the show, just more explicitly gay. Like, in the way where Jade probably goes out of her way to make Toris life miserable but gets very mad whenever someone else does it (shes probably screamed “only i can make her life living hell” at students in hollywodd arts more than once). Tori is also meaner to jade in retaliation, but theyre both kind of into fighting each other so its not rlly that much of a rivalry and more of a amusing thing. Theyre also weirdly jealous of each other. Jade chases people down the hall with scissors whenever someone makes a move on Tori

Beck and Tori are 100% platonic, they hang out more than they did in the show (which fuels jades bother w them in the beginning) but remain abt the same level of closeness

Jade is.. less mean to Cat. Like they dont find bothering her as funny bc she js doesnt understand it and it ends up being meaningless, thats kind of the only reason they manage to get along

Cat and Beck r pretty much the same as the show, still kinda big bro and lil sis dynamic

Cat and Tori are like the girlies ever. They go shopping together, gossip abt everything and everyone bc they know that no one else likes listening to them

Beck is pretty chill, w Robbie, who as I said, is kinda gay for him, theyre not that close but also not not-friends

Andre and Beck are very close, they fight a lot abt silly stuff but always make up and go back to being bros in less than a day

Robbie is kinda mean to Tori but theyre twice as mean back so they make it work🫶

Jade intimidates the shit outta Robbie, he is a jackass to everyone except her bc he knows he’ll get his dick chopped off if he tries anything funny

I already expanded on Andre and Cat’s dynamic, so yeah

Idk why am i even writing this but here it is

#victorious #tori vega #trina vega #jade west #cat valentine #andre harris #jori #beck oliver #robbie shappiro #rex

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probablynot-john · 1 year

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Okay then for the ask game, let me think... We both know I was gonna give ya Kallus. Go!

Yeah I did know you were gonna ask me about him, that fine I'm happy to anyways!

First impression: well I was about 12 when I frist watched rebels and I kinda thought he was a big fat jerk. I thought his muttonchops were stupid.

Impression now: he's just a sad sleepy baby and I love him. He's a real bad ass and a /snarky son of a bitch/tm. All he ever really wanted to do was help people and it blew up spectacularly in his face and he didn't even realize. Also he's an excellent actor but has atrocious people skills. And his muttonchops are glorious.

Favorite moment: in "the Honorable ones" (*cough cough broke back mountain*) you can actually pin point the second he realizes he's in love with Zeb. It's just after the spectors leave and he leans against the wall to keep out of sight. You can actually see the gay panic on his face.

Story idea: Zeb meets the Lasat mercenary but he's so excited that there's another Lasat that he doesn't realize who he is. Kallus doesn't want to take away the opertunity to connect with another member of his species from Zeb so he just sits quietly in the back of the ghost definitely not having a panic attack until Ezra and Sabine find him. He doesn't want to worry them so they build a blanket fort together and get Kannan to go check on Zeb because even if he is with a lasat they're not going to just leave him alone with a dangerous murderer. Eventually Kallus is more scared for Zeb than he is for himself and he runs out to find him but he confronts the merc instead who eventually does recognize him. I'll eventually write the whole thing but that's it for now.

Unpopular opinion: Okay you're gonna hate me. He dies semi young, around early to mid 70s. Cause of death is heart failure due to decades of constant chronic stress.

Favorite relationship: Kalluzeb for life baby! Also love him being family with the spectors, him and Kannan bonding over growing up on Coruscant around the same time. I bet they both have *dad energy* when they hang out. They would both wear Hawaiian shirts and socks with sandels and rock out to Queen music. Of course Sabine would be super protective of Zeb and really not like Kallus hanging around him at first, but she warms up to him after she sees how much Zeb likes him. Then she starts to like him more than Zeb (but she only says that to tease him) Kallus calls her "his favorite" right infront of Zeb. He doesn't really get along with Rex at first. Every civilian on Coruscant during the war has a "complicated" opinion on the clones. Actually I'll just make a separate post for all of them.

Favorite headcannon: OH man how could I narrow it down to just one!? I can't, here's 3:

1. He has scars from the lasat merc that he's extremely self conscious about. He was terrified to show them to Zeb because he thought he would be seen as "damaged goods" or Zeb would think he got them on lasan and be reminded of what a terrible person he is.

2. When he was a teenager he was very good in school, always ambitious but also had a manageable but harmful substance abuse problem. He used to blackout drinking and get into bar fights almost every night, and got high every other night.

Someone: you know your future self is gonna hate you.

Young Kallus: jokes on that asshole, I'm gonna ruin his life.

3. He is a massive dork. He would love murder mystery novels, sings to himself as he cooks and talks to his pet tooka. One time he got a concussion because he sneezed and smacked his face against a wall.

#star wars #alexsandr kallus #sw rebels #hot kallus #garazeb orrelios #kalluzeb #star wars rebels #incorrect star wars rebels quotes #ezra bridger #sabine wren #star wars rebels headcanons #ask game #writing

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yao1-sex · 1 year

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I should tell you about Narvok and Clover.

Both highschool drop-outs, both are in there twenties (N is 23, C is 24). Narvok is a slim, 5"9 green skinned humanoid creature. His eyes are blood red and he has anger issues. He wears a dark grey hoodie (fashioned with a silver and d. blue pendulum) with leggings and boots. Narvok has sharp, almost canine like teeth that poke out his mouth sometimes. When he is pissed off and yelling he somehow gains a Scottish accent. He works at a flower shop to try and help with this anger

Now onto Clover

Also has a slim figure, he is much slim than Narvok. 6"1 toothpick lookin ass. He wears an animal mask that hides his true identity. He is a murderer and likes playing with knives because of course he does. He likes eating apples sometimes and he wears an open light grey hoodie with a white and green t-shirt underneath. His pupils are bright magenta and no one has ever seen his face besides Narvok. He jokingly calls Narvok "Narv" just to see him get pissed.

He's unemployed but steals peoples money from those he kills

The tag I have for them will be on this post if you wanna see shit related to them

I'll put some random facts about both in no specific order

Narvok and Clover occasionally play video games and if its a fighting game, Clover usually wins

Narvok's favorite game is Splatoon 2

Clover also likes splatoon since its weapons are cool, but isnt as obsessed as Narvok

Clover likes most fighting games and has played basically every single one

Clover is trying to learn how to crochet

Narvok likes Shedinja

Clover likes Skarmory

Both of them like sour and spicy foods

Narvok's skin is slightly leathery and his body is covered in scars that refuse to heal. He really likes lotion and hates hand sanitizer

Narvok can explode if heated enough

Clover hates the cold so winter sucks

Narvok is cold blooded

They are Bisexual

They are friends with Ali and Vinn

Narvok likes cooking as a hobby

Clover likes watching Narvok play video games, especially the ones that get him riled up

Narvok is Clover's get-away driver when Clover occasionally gets confronted by the police, and are referred to as the deadly dusk duo

Narvok is allergic to cats but acts very cat like himself

Narvok likes watching horror movies and analog horror, but gets scared easily and clings to Clover if he is scared enough

Clover finds it funny when Narvok does cling to him and lets him do it

I haven't drawn clovers tits why are you asking ahahahaha

Narvok has lots of plushies and they all have individual names.

Clover supports his plushie collection and likes giving name suggestions

These are some of my oldest ocs I remember, dating all the way back to 2020! That was three years ago!

They both suck with hygiene and cleanliness but are trying to work on it

Narvok hates being called gay, especially by his bo. Best friend, Clover

Narvok has a pet plant named Kidney. His plant has googgly eyes and a red bowtie on the pot

Clover hates rain and refuses to go anywhere if its raining outside

Narvok on the other hand will go outside and frolic in the rain and Clover will put a few towels on the floor for him to sit on when he comes back because wet furniture isn't good

Narvok steals Clover's left overs all the time and plays dumb every time he gets caught (which is often)

Narvok eats with his hands. No matter what. Even if its hot mac n cheese.

Clover cannot cook for shit. You know that UHH. HEY PAPYRUS? I BURNT THE WATER. SANS HOW THE FUCK DID YOU BURN THE WATER- audio? yeah thats him and narvok.

They both have beef with Blister and Clown cat

Narvok is a chihuahua goblin with vampire fangs who is emo

Clover is just some dude who decided to kill people and likes cats.

The current Narvok is somewhat based on Bobal and his aggressive and chaotic nature

i'll give them voices eventually

Narvok has a raspy voice and his snorts of laughter sound like a boar

Clover sounds like a dork ass loser

Clover tries to occasionally “flirt” with Narvok. Sometimes he gets it and beats the hell out of him, sometimes he doesn't.

Narvok hates showing his emotions to other people so he usually very tense and on guard. He's learning to slowly trust people more than immediately going to violence

Narvok cheated on his girlfriend with a certain someone

The gay and homosexual tension between these two is through the roof

Narvok's birthday is june 17th

Clover's birthday is october 21st

That's all, thanks for reading all this!

#💥narvok and clover🍀#⭐️ocs of mine⭐️#long post #tagging it that because damn #ALSO FHIS HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS FOREVER. IM NOT EVEN KIDDING.

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captorsicallfriends · 2 years

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So in school this one year I had this one bitch in my class whom we will call Regina George for hopefully obvious reasons. And she was just. A massive bigot. Constantly bullying the neurodivergent kids, being an asshole to gay ppl, openly hating sushi. She was just,,, the worst. And I had made it my personal mission to destroy her (not like that you sickos). I drew a shitty copy of her face and stuck it to a pillow whenever I needed to punch something and you may think I'm lying about that much like a politician may say he wants equal opportunity for all, or a person on the internet claims I'm "really not that attractive so I should stop worshipping myself" which doesn't even make sense because like hello can you see me rn and also all my trauma and mental illnesses are stored in my dump truck ass which is why it's so big and you probably think I'm deflecting my deep rooted insecurities by making jokes about how hot I am which is not true and- point is I really hated this Regina bitch. So deep was my burning desire to set her hair on fire that I hatched a plan. Regina obviously wants more bigots and Trump supporters in positions of power, right? What better way to anger her than have me, an openly queer and pagan punk that's read the communist manifesto 3 times, get onto the school council leadership team? Pretty smart, right? Wrong. I had no leadership experience whatsoever and in hindsight I probably should've been focused on getting onto the team to help people rather than have my one motivation be a giant middle finger to some rich cishet girl who's dad is probably gone. Ok that was dark but you get what I'm saying, I hated this bitch. But anyway, I gave my big speech about leadership and equality and if I got onto the team I'd give the school bathrooms actually good toilet paper that doesn't feel like I'm having intercourse with a cactus covered in sandpaper. And it worked. My unhinged demonic definitely-possessed-by-a-crack-addict, stop-trying-to-drink-the-box-of-juice-you-found-in-a-bin-wtf-is-wrong-with-you self got onto a team full of white brunette children with rich parents. Excellent. Now all I needed to do was convert a herd of pubescent children into spitting on Regina's shoes and throwing gas cans back at the police. Shouldn't be hard, right? Wrong again. Apparently no one is willing to listen to a short feminine presenting dork with anger issues. Weird. My plan to make Regina's life miserable was failing. And there was only one thing left to do. You know those thoughts you get, where the side of your brain that practices kindness and forgiveness tells you not to do it but the other side that eats crayons and memories WAP is telling you to do it for no other reason than it'd be fucking hilarious if you were a character in a tv show (which I'm starting to feel like with U guys. I'm not mad tho, I feel like a small mammal in an enclosure as a group of four year olds watches me take a shit as they start giggling hysterically). So I stared deep into the mirror of agony and asked God where my moral stance lies if not elsewhere than replaceable specks of dust on a dirt road. And god, with her many mouths and her many tragedies, says nothing. So anyway I bought a roll of stickers of the lgbt pride flag online and stuck them on all of Regina's belongings without her knowing. Yes it was funny as shit no I don't regret being an asshole. The immense amount of joy it brought me to see this girl become enraged and try to frantically tear off a sticker of a rainbow off her school bag. Which really proves that you can do all the goodness your heart demands of you but at the end of the day death and life do not care what you have done and so why not make yourself immortal. Anyways this has been fun bestie love U also who do you speculate I am I'm curious 💖💖💖

oh my gods i don’t know if i should be proud or terrified, i’m most likely feeling both. but honestly she had it coming

#diya answers #ughhh i have no idea who you could be #all i know is that you’re australian bc you called your parents bogans #idek if you’re a mutual or not 😭#anon

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summernightslulibabee · 2 years

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Summer Nights - (Solangelo Fanfiction) - Chapter Two: sex and promiscuity

Will

There's really no reason to be dramatic. I mean, fainting? Come on.

So what, we hooked up? He squealed and ran out of the room before we actually fucked. I don't understand the big deal. I've slept with a few guys from school before, and none of them ran out on me right beforehand. If he wanted to stop, he could have just said that. I'm not an animal.

To be honest, I never really noticed Nico di Angelo that much. He was always just that really smart, try-hard kid. The only time he spoke was to give long-worded answers to our teacher's questions which made everyone roll their eyes. You can tell he really likes to hear, "Why can't you all be like Nico?"

I hate teacher's pets.

I never picked up on the fact that he was gay until the party. See, that's how most dudes come out to me—behind closed doors while we're both tipsy. It's a common theme, really. It's a surprise I haven't been outed yet, but I guess people are too scared to say anything. I suppose my father's status can actually count for something.

And most guys just like to forget about it, anyway. At least until I get a random text message at 3 AM asking, "U up?" Of course, I'm always happy to help a friend in need.

I truly don't believe in the ramifications of sex. It's a momentary fleeting feeling of euphoria, and that's all we really want at the end of the day. I don't catch feelings, I don't care for the monotony of relationships, and I especially don't care for other's opinions of when and who I should fuck.

In a school mostly funded by religious organizations, I've heard all the speeches about waiting until marriage, treating your body with respect, or whatever. I say those stick-up-their asses sons of bitches never fucking came in their life. Or, perhaps, they're just projecting their sexual desires onto underaged kids. In which case, Christians have a lot to explain. Again.

I shouldn't be too surprised. While my friends and I sat in the back of the auditorium making fun of the talkers, the few times I looked to the front row at Nico, only to see his eyes were glued on them, nodding intently as if he was really believing every word. No wonder he freaked himself out. Who takes notes at a "wait-till-marriage" speech? Fucking weirdo.

He basically proved to me that "wanting" to preserve the "sanctity of marriage" was just a whole load of repressed, heteronormative bologna. Most of the time it's just compensating, and the shit could burst if you even attempt to poke at it.

I made the first move, sure. But he kissed back, and then climbed onto my lap, and tore off my shirt, and moaned every time I kissed his neck, and sucked me off. Obviously, the kid's embarrassed. If he wants to pretend it never even happened, that's fine with me. I couldn't care less. But fainting? My god.

Now I'm on the ground, trying to lightly slap his face in annoyance before the boss's assistant comes down. "Wake up," I whisper. "Wake up, wake up, wake up, stupid!"

He's out cold. Ugh.

"You're going to blow this thing for the both of us," I sigh. My hand tingles. In the distance, I can hear footsteps. Well, he can't be mad at me for this.

I rear my hand back and slap him across the face. He jolts awake, sitting up and out of my hands, immediately bringing his palm to his cheeks. His eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Did...you...just hit me?"

I roll my eyes. "Get up, man," I snarl, straightening my legs. He's wearing his usual black-fitted shirt. I offer him a hand but he stares at it like it's burned and shriveled. He backs away from me quickly, almost tripping over a fake plant. Then, he seems to regain himself, pushing off the ground. He still keeps his distance, trying hard to look away from me. Dork.

The door clicks open and a man walks in. He's got short blonde hair and he's wearing a purple shirt tucked into khakis. He's not so bad looking. "My name's Octavian," he sighs. "And you two must be the Goode interns."

"Yes sir," Nico says as if he's in boot camp.

"Sir is so formal," Octavian rolls his eyes. Nico's face goes red as his lips press together in confusion. "You're both 18, right?"

We nod.

"Great," he says. "Well, you two will be working for the Orange team. They handle politics. They're stationed upstairs. You shouldn't be able to miss it. You do whatever they say."

"We'll get to write our own pieces, right?" Nico nervously asks.

Octavian smirks with a darkness. "I'm sure you can try to contribute. Just remember your place."

The boy's eyes are wide with a blush still present across his cheeks. This whole thing doesn't really bother me. My dad makes me go to fancy dinner meetings all the time with more prestigious, stuck-ups, so I guess I'm prepared.

Octavian unsheathes a camera from a bag, removing the cap from the lens. "Stand there," he directs me. I do what he says as he snaps a picture. He turns to Nico. "You. There."

I step out of the way as he takes a step into the spot I had been in. Then, he trips on the rug below and slips, and I catch him out of reflex. He's seriously clumsy.

He scrambles out of my arms and stands. Octavian seems unimpressed. "You must be a good writer, kid," he sighs, snapping a picture. He sets the camera down and pulls out his phone. "My room number's out on the bulletin board. Don't call it. Now, I'm sure you two can find your way, right?"

Nico's mouth falls open, but before he says anything stupid, I step in. "Definitely. Thanks, Octavian."

Octavian nods as I turn, leaving Nico behind me. He catches up quickly behind me.

"How. The. Hell. Are. You. Here?"

"I sucked off the boss, isn't it obvious?"

"Not funny. You cheat on every essay. There's no way you were accepted based on your originality or skill," Nico struggles to catch up as I walk up the clear stairs leading to the second floor. "Daddy's money?"

"You guessed it," I roll my eyes.

"You walk so fucking fast," Nico gasps for air. "Listen, I actually worked hard to be here. I really don't need an incompetent jock screwing up everything."

"I seem to recall you being the one who was 30 minutes late and passed out on the floor. How's that for incompetent?" My eyes trace over the second floor. There's glass offices everywhere, people throwing around ideas, chewing on the ends of their whiteboard markers, and there hardly seems to be a dress code—in fact, the edgiest clothing seemed to be more encouraged. How the hell are we supposed to know where the Orange team is located?

"That's all your fault."

I stop and turn towards him. "My fault?"

"I was drunk—"

"So was I," I narrow my eyes at him. "Is this really what this about? You're still thinking about the party?"

His back straightens and he scrunches up his nose as if he's slightly offended. "I—what? We..."

"So what?" I cross my arms and bend slightly to his height, getting in his face. "I don't care if you sucked my dick, if that's what you're talking about."

Nico plops a hand directly onto my mouth, looking around nervously. "Are you crazy? Don't say that out loud," he lets out frantically.

I roll my eyes and peel his hand away. "Can you be mature for once and just get over it? I couldn't fucking care less about what happened. So stop acting like a complete dork before you get the both of us fired. Understand?"

"Don't tell me what to do," Nico growls.

"You're pathetic," I look up when I see a girl with an orange shirt walking towards one of the rooms in the back. I back out of his face and begin my way towards her, walking pass multiple offices. Nico keeps a steady pace behind me, making sure to hang back. At this point, he feels like a chihuahua yapping at my feet.

I see her slip into a room with a few other people wearing orange, and follow in after. Nico fumbles with his fingers awkwardly. I want to reach out and slap them and tell him to stop being such a weirdo. There are 3 young adults, one sitting in an office chair, yelling at two people who stand at the whiteboard.

"The progressives were born from populism," a guy with curly black hair, sitting on one of the beam bag chairs, rubs his forehead. "But they were all wealthy, white people who suspected that the little guys would overthrow them if they didn't get in control of their movement."

"And I think that's exactly how we could tie them to modern-day liberals," responds a girl with dark eyes and pale brown hair. She puts her hands on her hips accompanied with an angry pout. "Basically rich people taking the ideas of the working class and acting like they're our friends. But they aren't! They benefit just as much from the little guy's suffering as the rich conservatives do."

"Seriously, Clarisse?" Another girl sips from her coffee cup, swinging in her office chair. "We're already a progressive magazine, we don't need to lose the liberals like we've lost conservatives. Plus, most of them are the ones funding our column."

They continue bickering back and forth, the room rising into a roar. They obviously don't notice us, or don't care to.

Well, here goes nothing.

"If you guys are going to connect modern politics to a time such as the progressive movement, perhaps you should have a base reason for doing so," I say. "And more sources."

Nico slams his hand onto his face.

They go quiet as their heads snap towards me.

"Who the hell are you two?" Asks Clarisse.

"We're the interns from Goode," I inform them. "I'm Will. This is Nico."

Clarisse raises her chin. The boy with curly black hair steps up. "And you," he looks at Nico next to me. "What do you think?"

Nico lowers his hand, his eyes wide, and his cheeks red. "H-huh? What do I think?"

"I do believe you're the one I asked," he frowns.

"W-well, uh, I—" he clears his throat. "I agree that while making a statement about how, uh, liberals can often be blind to the actual issues of working class Americans, they um...they also do a lot to help and it would be a blanket statement to say that not all of them do."

"Okay," the girl in the chair tilts her head to the side. "But what do you think?"

Nico blinks in confusion. "I just said—"

"You shouldn't make a decision yet," I sigh. "You might have made assumptions that make sense but all of your computers are shut. The whiteboard has no written notes down. I don't see any printed out sources or studies. It wouldn't be smart to write a column this empty handed. This is a test, right?"

Nico looks to me quizzically, tilting his head to the side.

Clarisse sighs and sets down her marker. "You got us."

The girl in the office chair stands up suddenly, marching over to me. She bends over and looks at my pass. "Will Solace. Of course you would know business tricks. You're Allistair's kid," she stands back up. "My name's Chris. That's Beckendorf over there."

"I'm confused," Nico says.

"It's a tactic to see if we're perceptive," I respond to him. "And if we'll be brave enough to speak our minds. My father pulls it all the time."

"So I'm guessing I failed?"

"Not entirely," shrugs Chris. "There is no failing. Besides, you tried to please all of us. But there's no need to, little guy."

Nico's lip twitches at 'little guy', but he chooses not to say anything.

"We read the both of your entries," says Clarisse. "They're not bad. You guys are good thinkers."

"I'm appreciative of the opportunity to be here," Nico speaks up, swallowing hard.

Behind them, the door peels open. In steps a girl with long black hair and an angry stare. She crosses her arms. "Are those the interns?"

Chris sighs and straightens her back. "Their names are Will and Nico. Guys, this is Drew. She's head of the team."

She turns to stare the both of us down. "Oh, good. You can go run and get coffee."

"They're here to be the teen voice of the column, Drew," Clarisse bites.

"Hm. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," she flips her hair, "after a Grande, iced, sugar-free, Vanilla Latte with soy milk."

She digs into her purse and the card flies up. I want to say something to her rude ass, but Nico quickly grabs it. "Yes ma'am!" He says before rushing out of the door.

Was he seriously trying to turn this into a competition?

I follow out after him. He's walking with a vengeance. "Christ, will you slow down?"

"Fuck off, Will!" He pushes down the stairs. "I'm going to bring her the coffee before you can!"

"You're so immature!" I whisper-shout.

"I'll show you immature, jerkwad!"

"It's not a competition—"

"Fuck. You!"

"My God," we jog out of the front door of the building, "had I known you were going to act like a child afterwards, I would have never let you suck me off."

"Oh my God! Stop saying that!" Nico puts his hands over his ears.

"Would you prefer blowjob?"

"I'm trying to forget I ever did anything with you, okay?" Nico's face is beet red as we wait at a traffic light. "It doesn't fit into my plan."

"Holy fucking shit. You have your sex life planned out? You're such a nerd."

"I—no! It's not like that!" Nico buries his face in his hands. "I'm not the person who sleeps around, and I definitely would never sleep with you."

"You almost did."

"And I regret it!"

"You seemed pretty into it," I shrug. I can practically see smoke shooting from his ears. "I certainly remember how you told me to pull your hair, bite your neck—"

"Shut up!"

"Mmm, and how you pulled off my shirt—"

"Shut. Up!" We were starting to get weird stares. Something about seeing him mad made me want to continue.

"I also seem to remember how you wrapped your legs around my waist," I say. "And how you were begging for me to fuck—"

He turns suddenly, his hand flying up and the next thing I know, a pain explodes on my cheek. He presses his lips together, his eyes wide, staring at his hand. He looks back at me in shock.

"N-now we're even," he blinks, marching down the crosswalk. I follow behind him.

"You know, slapping's kind of a turn on for me."

"You are so perverted! I wish I never went to that party," Nico groans. He throws open the door to Starbucks and marches in angrily. He slams his hands on the counter and stares at the worker. "Grande, iced, sugar-free, Vanilla latte with soy milk," he forces a smile and a kind voice, but an eyebrow is twitching.

The worker seems slightly frightened but nods slowly. "Right. Gotcha," he throws up finger-guns.

"I thought you wanted to forget about it too," Nico mumbles.

"I would have if you were a decent person," I sigh. "But you've made it onto my bad side."

Nico pouts. "You never answered me on how you got the internship," he crosses his arms defensively. "You don't do any work in class."

I look directly at him. "Do you really equate grades to intelligence?"

"I can equate it to work ethic."

"Yeah, well, you wanna know why you didn't pick up on the trick they pulled on us?" I ask. He blinks quickly. "It's because you don't have a single original thought in your head. I'm sure you can name off every single president and their election years and their tragic backstories, but you don't have an opinion. You regurgitate what you read, but you don't know why you think that, only that you should. Maybe I'm not book smart, or care to be, but what else do you know about being a teenager when you can't even handle a couple of drinks? I have experience, Nico. I have opinions because I've been surrounded in politics since I was born and I know what it's like to be young because I don't coop myself in my room memorizing the fucking periodic table. That's what I wrote about and that's what got me picked. So, why don't you get off my back and let the adults handle all of this?"

Nico looks slightly offended, trying to hold up in his chin in defense of his own feelings. I was used to people going silent whenever I addressed this. Everybody needs a humbling sometimes. I'm always happy to give one.

Then he mumbles, "You know what? Fuck you. I'm going to have so much experience this summer you won't believe it."

"W-what?"

"You heard me," he stomps up to me. The Starbucks worker nervously sets down the coffee and creeps away. "You can't scare me away, Solace. Not like you do everybody else at school. I'm going to make your life a living Hell."

I squint my eyes at him. "Pardon?"

He pops his knuckles and keeps my gaze. It's true what they say about short people having a secret rage inside of them. "I've worked hard to be here," he sticks his finger into my chest. "So fuck you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take this latte to our team captain."

He turns on his heels and struts out of Starbucks, the coffee clenched in his hands.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

The rest of the day was Drew sending us on wild goose chases, keeping us busy running her errands for us. The entire time, Nico was trying to prove he was better than me.

I was thankful when the day finally ended. I felt drained of energy. And I'm not even getting paid for this shit.

The sun melts around the horizon, cascading a golden glow onto every person, place, and thing in the near vicinity. The trees fall dark against the sky, creating a perfect silhouette. I like this part of the drive.

The sunset is always behind me when I turn into my neighborhood, which is slightly disappointing. The gate attendant waits for me and automatically recognizes the car. He waves to me through the window before pressing a button. I wave back before driving in. The houses pass me, over and over, growing bigger in size, until I make it to the end.

My gut tightens as I pull into the driveway. Dad and mom are both home. I prefer being home alone, but it's fine. I push my car door closed and jog up the platform, pulling my key out from my pocket and twisting. Slowly I walk down the hall, all the way into my dad's office. I pop my knuckles and slide into one of the office chairs. He sits at his desk, his glasses on the tip of his nose, and his lips tightened.

"How was it?" He asks.

"It was good," I say. "They pulled the observant trick."

"And did you pass?"

I let a smirk play against my lips. "Of course."

"Good, good," he raises an eyebrow and closes his laptop, staring down at me. "Are you going to start writing soon?"

I shrug. "Hopefully," I tell him. "Today we were just running around doing errands."

"We?"

"The other student who was chosen," I slowly say. "Nico di Angelo."

"Oh. That one," his lips press together lightly. "He was oddly persistent when he heard the company was buying and rebuilding the park. He and his two friends, that is. They cried gentrification."

"So...he's also writing for the political column?"

I nod slowly.

He pulls off his glasses and tosses them across the desk, slouching and rubbing his temples. "Of course this has to happen," he groans.

"And I'm proud of you for that, son," he sighs. "I know you aren't keen on writing for the topic."

I shrug and slump in my chair.

"Still, keep a close eye on him," he folds his hands. "On Friday, I'll be announcing that I'm running. Press will be there. You'll be prepared, right?"

I gulp and nod. "Y-yes."

"Good," he takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his hair. "And don't let the news leak. I can't have any protestors."

I nod again. "Yes, dad," I say. "You can trust me."

"And...also," he narrows his eyes at me. "We're both under the same understanding about your personal actions, right?"

I swallow the bubble in my throat. "Yes. I'm over it."

"You're a good kid, Will," he clears his throat. "Now that I'm running for mayor, our looks and how people perceive us matters. I think press would like to see that I've raised you right. Maybe we could see a woman on your arm by Friday?"

My eyes flicker up to meet his. His eyes are hard and cold, his eyebrows folded in angrily.

"Dad," I whisper breathlessly, almost begging.

"You're over it, aren't you?" He asks.

He knows I'm just saying that to make him feel better. I don't know why he has to push.

"It's just..."

"Don't disappoint me, Will," he pushes out from his desk. "You're the oldest. Your siblings look up to you, and I count on you to set a good example."

"Okay," my eyes dart to the floor. "I understand."

"You make me proud," he pats my shoulder.

I force a smile and head up to my room. I love my dad, but he really knows how to piss me off. Obviously I don't expect to be pushed in the closet forever but..

I slam my door close and collapse on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. He's under a lot of stress. He's always been. Running for mayor is gonna be even worse. Then I'll really be walking on eggshells.

My phone buzzes.

I turn on my side, typing in my passcode, and opening it to my text messages app. It's a text from Travis Stoll.

wanna come over?

I could use a stress reliever. And to hell with my dad. Even if I couldn't say that to his face.

i'll be there, I press send and stand, stretching out my arms. I seriously don't know where Travis has been, but I also don't care. I slide on my jacket and dig in the pockets. Where the fuck is my condom?

And then I remember.

"I don't think about you all," Nico had said. He was wearing all black and eyeliner was running down his face. His hair was roughed and fluffy and smelled like hairspray. Something about it was actually kind of hot.

"You'd be the first," I challenged his gaze.

He seems slightly surprised, but his face lingers in curiosity. He was definitely picking up on the flirting. "You're...confusing," his eyebrows fold in.

"Not entirely," I said.

"Why are you hiding in here?" He asked, slowly approaching the bed. He sat down next to me.

It was most likely the drinks, but I felt compelled to tell him. "Sometimes it's overwhelming," I explained. "Pretending to be someone you aren't for the sake of others."

Nico twisted a piece of hair around his finger, his eyes focused in on the action. "I understand," he answers slowly. "It must be tiring. At least I don't have the city's attention on me."

I leaned back. "And Percy? You like him, or something?"

His face plastered red, and it wasn't just because he was drunk. "I-uh, yes," he drops his shoulders. "I'm in love with him."

I snickered. "Love? Do you even know him?"

His eyes widened in defense. "I-yes, I know enough."

"Ever heard of the term infatuation?"

"So what if we hardly talk? I can just feel it," he crossed his arms. "Not that you'd know anything about that."

"Not to burst your bubble, or anything, but he's straight," I sighed.

"You're a douchebag," Nico angrily grunted through his teeth. But his eyes were on mine.

"Hey, if you truly want to believe in love, go for it," I shrugged and put my hands up in surrender. "but look where it's gotten you."

"Jesus, are you always like this? I don't even know how he could stand to be friends with a person like you," he crossed his arms and looked off.

Oh, shit. Sometimes I go too far.

He turned, his eyes twinkling. "What do you do when you like someone but they don't like you back?"

"I don't have that problem," I say. He narrows his eyes at me. "Joking. Uh, I don't know. Move on?"

He rolled his eyes. "Move on," he buried his face in his palms. "I hate almost everyone, and they hate me. It's not so easy to just...move on in a place like this."

I don't know what came over me, but I could feel myself being pulled towards him. Maybe it was to get him to stop feeling bad. Maybe it was because he looked so fucking hot in this new look. Maybe it was the drinks. Maybe it was all of the above. But I placed my hand under his chin, turning his face towards mine, and leaned over, connecting our lips.

At first, he didn't know what to do.

"I'll help you move on," I slurred against his lips. "If you want."

I pulled away and met his eyes, almost immediately regretting what I just did. He stared at me with a gaping mouth and wide, expectant eyes. He didn't have to look so damn shocked.

Then, the next thing I know, he pounced, straddling my lap.

And well, things progressed.

I don't even know why I'm thinking about this. Oh, shit. Condoms.

I turned and retrieved some from my end table, heading out the door. As I head down the stairs, I turn and yell out, "Going to Piper's!"

And no protest.

—

I pull up my jeans, standing next to the messy bed. The pillows were thrown on the ground and Travis sits with a blanket covering up his lower half. He strokes the empty spot next to him. "I don't care for pillow talk," I grimace. "You called me here for sex."

He crosses his arms. "Is it bad to want to spend time with you?"

Travis rolls his eyes and stands up, pulling on a t-shirt. "I forgot," he presses his lips together. "I'm just a bag of meat to you."

"You invited me over here," I stand. "And no, you're not just a bag of meat. But you know what I want."

"I want you," Travis states with a pout.

"Too bad," I slide on my hoodie.

"So unattainable," he walks over to me and slaps my cheek. "Only makes me want you more, my dear."

I peel his hand away. "You hate relationships too, Travis."

"I do not! I'm just not good at them. But I wish you would get over that stupid belief that love means nothing to you," he walks to his dresser. "Even if it's not me, someone's eventually gonna figure out how to melt that cold heart of yours."

"Doubtful."

Travis picks up a sock. "And to think I douched for you."

I smirk. "See you later, Travis."

"I'm never texting you again!" He yells as he enters his bathroom.

"You said that last time!"

The next day, I check in at the receptionist, and head upstairs to the office. My mind wasn't really thinking much, only that I was slightly drained from the work of yesterday. Then, I walked into the office, to see the team all laughing and talking, coffees in their hands. In the middle of the room stood a skinny boy wearing all black.

He turns around when he hears me walk in. His dark hair is fluffed out and a loose MCR shirt hangs from his shoulders over black skinny-jeans and chains. There's a light layer of eyeliner smudged around his eyes.

"You've got to be kidding me," I sigh.

"Hello, Will," Nico smiles devilishly. "Shall we begin?"

#Summer Nights Solangelo #summer nights fanfiction #summer nights solangelo fanfiction #summer nights last summer #last summer series lulibabee #summer nights lulibabee

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thebonejunky · 2 years

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Still brimming with rage about the lesbian flag drama. This shit only ever happens online because these dork ass uwu bullshit chronically online gays never leave their houses or talk to anyone including their own community. But its still affecting Emily in real life and that's horrible. I don't give a shit how much of a "woke" fucking intellect hater you are. If you're LGBT its your responsibility to learn our history. Because its true when they say history repeats itself. That's exactly what's happening right now!

I don't care how gay you are. I don't care that you live for gaytwt and have a pfp of an anime character in front of a pride flag. You can still be homophobic. No matter how progressive you think you are it is homophobic to tell a lesbian she can't use her own word. Its homophobic to bully her into taking her shop down. Its homophobic to make low effort pastel versions of her flag. You are exactly what you hate. You are the cishet people telling LGBT's what we can and cant do. You are the cishet people shutting down LGBT businesses and kicking us out of our homes. You are the cishet people stealing our pride and trying to take it for themselves whether that be overpriced rainbow tshirts or straight pride parades. This is exactly what the homophobes want because while your bullying a fellow member of our community they're taking away our rights and hurting our futures and killing us.

Im the same age as all of these people creating this discourse, and yet i want to say grow the fuck up. Pick up a book on anarchism. Watch a Harvey Milk documentary. Look at the pictures of the very real gay people in the 80's holding fag signs. Talk to your local lesbian grandma and she'll tell you how embracing the word dyke changed her life. Because one day someone on the street will actually call you a slur. One day someone will jump you for kissing your partner on a bus. One day someone will look you up and down and kick you out of a public bathroom. And you'll look back and think "what the fuck was i doing? Why was i fighting my own people when i could have been fighting them?"

Emily isn't offending anyone by saying dyke you are offending our elders who fought tooth and nail to reclaim it and to get to call themselves that at all.

No one cares what you think is right and wrong! You don't get to decide! The entirety of the LGBT community isn't following you on twitter or scrolling through your tiktoks. Learn something, please.

#lesbian #lesbian flag #lgbt #gay #sunset lesbian flag #sapphic

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the-firebird69 · 2 years

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Watch "Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball (Official Video)" on YouTube

youtube

I think she's saying that I wrecked her somehow is that true it was Tommy favino and she screwed up a little bit and seem to seems like she's seen to me or something

Zues

It's very strange I want to do the job and get out there and make it work and it didn't it's going to try again we'll see fails and he comes back like he's just getting rid of our kids you could do the first round it doesn't give a s*** and is smiling and says I'm back and what is that annoying you fail all the time and not with them all of them all at once and he knows it too this is your coward that's true you can sacrificing them for your life and you're not really applying yourself make sure that people see that I mean for Christ's sake what a mess and she taught them to do stupid s*** you're dorking with each other more than anything. I can't stand it it's repulsively stupid what happens it happens every time and you're told not to do that dumb s*** like the max who Don't Care about Us they want to program and there you are. He says he do it to him too all the time you're aggressive you won't back off you're telling me to say stupid s*** crazy that I was in the middle of this dumb battle and War and these people are idiots about it this is terrible. I guess we're texting them as well it sounds like or he doesn't want us to do that and a lot more opposed to it. I don't want to go on if this is how it's going to go everyday watching just all of my children die. And what he says is you're right to defend yourself but Stalin started this off, it was very wrong and doing so and very selfish and what he's doing is extremely weird and I see that too he's a huge pig.

I want him gone I want him dead I want him buried. And another thing I'm not everyone s***. Well it happened a bit and not with our friend here. Hit a colonoscopy done in the low desert and it was by Tommy f there's a few reasons he did it when is he is a big homo and that's Tommy f is a homo the other is he wants to see if there's anything in there those people kept saying they put stuff in them and he wants to check out the house usually means they want to do stuff to him so he did that there and then he did it again and it was him in Tampa and he looks like the shooter in Lincoln shooting and many shootings it's the same look and that's what he's saying. I have a problem with that because it's supposed to remember stuff to know how to do stuff and then there's this idiot trying to harm him and he's good for his people this is all starting not to make fun of sense so I looked at it and I figured some stuff out he's not very nice to him and it's mean it's trying to team up secretly and our friends saying that she goes screw like I can't tell what you're doing so gay f****** plan and keep saying some military one over and over and it looks a little bit deeper and they're fighting each other very hard and this guy has some secret stuff he's getting his ass kicked and that's Tommy f here and there and he won't say it because he's been screwed around us so much that he's getting beating up a little bit and I said this you're sitting there forcing him to hit you anybody in their brother would have to you're trying to make him sick all the time and you like a b**** I've never seen a man do that so many times in my life and I want you did and he wants you did you hurt his parents and they're my friends you turn them on to all sorts of stuff and you're a loser I'm probably attacking the wrong place but you need to see what happens when you do this kind of s*** to your own we can't concentrate on anything you can't get anything done and you're loving it and you're still doing it you lost all your bases you lost your fleas pretty pretty soon the stupid little blockade will be gone it's not that big that comparison to what everybody has ammo ordinance and then your army is toast and it's huge but really everybody hates you. What I want to say is why did you do all the stupid s*** this is such hell you took his job and you start doing it yourself even terrorizing us for thousands of years

Miley Cyrus

Seriously I get this question a lot and I do it because I have to it's very utilitarian. But for sure you understand you're always infighting you always saying stuff especially your race and you lose as hell about everything information and I thought you're up to you tell them all the time out loud I need some time in a western girl cuz he's a competitor who has he got 50 ships he'll lose because some a****** has 50 ships and her friend he understands why and he understands you need like really stiff drinks in order to behave a certain way

Tommy f

That's what you say recently been a long time ago you didn't necessarily have to do this

Miley Cyrus

Long time ago I was assigned to the underworld and I took it and I did the best I could I found secrets and I didn't feel I should tell anybody because they were helping me with the burden it was getting worse and harder and it kept getting worse and harder and yeah I was making it that way and I still am but it's a method so I may have gone nuts

Tommy f

You mean you lost your family and had nothing else to live for so you kept cutting this guy's family loose to help him see what happened to you he's got nobody his gal is somewhere else

Miley Cyrus

I did it because I had to and I lost my family yes and to my own clothes that's because of you people you kept tormenting me and tormenting me and bothering me and harassing me so I made too many and he overcame the hierarchy and she usually do and that was the sacrifice I had to make to stop you from harassing me to death like you're doing to him you are a repulsive race and you should know it you speak out of turn you harass people all the time you and your people are in this way and you're not Stan's kids those kids are gone cuz you people you're gross you grab things you have things you don't use you hoard them and you never use them and you never better your lives and you live like cave people if left alone no my life back I have to get rid of you to do it and you're going down not me

Tommy f

Is it so bad that we can't be tolerated

Miley Cyrus

What it is stupid what you say is stupid your way is dumb no we don't need Sarah to come up with a book to describe Chris's relatives and we don't need ancient history to volunteering a few seconds so you can try and get some squeeze or some other stuff it's not worth it and your brains don't calculate that the equation is not there and it's costly and it didn't do what Michael wanted and it's destroying him and me and the realm is getting ruined not just us you should know you're responsible for a big chunk of that and for ruining everybody's lives for a long time and sure you're not able to figure out how to do it correctly that's why we don't like you because you can't argue that you're doing it on purpose that much and he says that's not true they have a revolution in it's based on eating everybody who's the enemy so I figured out if you figure that out what are you saying is there's some aspects to your personality and that would be one that people can't tolerate do you understand that

Tommy f

I sort of get something you figured out what I'm up to and he figured out the plan and he understood it because we keep blabbing at him and it was still a threat and I'm still blab at him, who's the brad says he's out there blaming our friend himself, and he blames him for putting him in prison in Oklahoma is this s*** head Trump and he keeps doing it even afterwards saying it's his people this is why would I do that for I had to inspire you dumb c********* that's a problem because we're not smart enough to figure it out but then again so just keeps doing it and doing it and doing it and does nothing and I guess you're right we're stupid and you figured it out and you shouldn't and we just kind of handed to them the information and with dooms because of it so our existence is terrible and what we do with people is terrible and failures but you're doing the similar thing

Miley Cyrus

We do it because you people keep failing and the other week link.

Tommy f

We don't have anything more to say then or failures we suck the exposed stuff but he can't defend ourselves try to ride and fail oh you certainly stuck to your guns there he says I say this you don't have proof of what it works and we work part of the team and you were attacking us for thousands of years so it didn't work he says it's just like other formula but he hasn't figured this one out that other people are cloning and fighting each other and since people would be in the middle and you did it on purpose

Miley Cyrus

In the beginning you're too dumb to keep around no I had to become dumb so I could use you to steal stuff and it's out already and it's still not working it's a huge pain in the ass

Tommy f

So you made us to bedisposable , will you influenced it to happen and I want revenge and you're the problem you're the one who did it and you convinced Mac to and he was not in a position to and the nephilim prove it. It seemed like it was holding me somewhere once and I just walked right out and I'll tell you what this man has some serious strength even when he's really drunk it's all on me asking me a question what are you doing this for and you tell me this and tell me that he's still talking to me it opens his eyes he's holding my snow vest I started laughing cuz I dropped them off after his ass surgery and you remind me of it is holding the thing it's a weird night he found this time of guys cooking around taking he's a lunatic in a space shot and he made a stupid and he made this cold war and we're complete disaster and he's getting bigger outfit and you're the one doing it Tommy f and these Giants too and you don't you're like unaware of it and really if they eat you they look like you and we're in a lot of trouble because of it and you're not defending yourself just like you said we don't he said I don't really want to prove that he's not that's a nice he said this that's nice there's going to be terrible so you say it's him and we get that and no we figured it out you're the problem and you beat up your father for a long time it's way too long and he says his father has a massive ego about it and can't admit it just like you see if you look at Jack Nicholson and if Jack Nicholson cross the road outside the crosswalk he's never going to tell you even if you did it right in front of him of you no I'm sorry your mistaken he'd say that's just the way it is what he's really saying is I know you're not stupid it's not me do it but you're going to look the other way because that's who I am I'm someone who can do it everybody is copying antics and it's horrible and it's not his fault it's just people decide to be stupid and we found out about this and people are still doing it and cuz he doesn't take any offerings it really is kind of fool by a lot of stuff which is true it sucks cuz it really blows I'll probably do this stupid thing it says after the second round stick you in a wrecking ball and I won't make it because it's a radiator for some reason this is why it's a radiated it doesn't weigh that much I know it doesn't it's like 800 lb I can move it around. So it's hollow so someone opened it and I do see that too there's a hole in it a hole and I don't know why it would be a radiated without doing the acts to have them do their video and when demolishing a church, so Tommy F me a radiated and then the church is symbolic so the ball moves around and something breaks inside that suddenly see something this is going to suck and then my husband goes flying into a wall and I Fall in on the same crane that they're trying to threaten our friend was and don't see idiots and we saw you out there doing stuff and then you like this little a****** kid constantly doing s*** well it's ridiculous now you've done things to my family too including Carmen who was my mom she's my mother I learned a lot from her these people are Sharp and you sound stupid most of them are gone I can't run out and I'm back and didn't have anybody I mean it's ridiculous would be surprised if he was with him.

It's very confident and conpitent person Tommy f . Can't see exactly what you're doing or why it's so arrogant with him when I do see that you have some problems with what you're doing and he says it might be something different and it's working on his shadow Dom and he doesn't know if we disabled devices or not some are tougher than others and a lot of them are tougher than what Trump and you guys come up and he says to me so I get what he's saying here's a lot of professional devices. So that could be it and there could be secrets and I'll probably die knowing this is true and he could be horrendously huge. Okay so tell me after your sitting there torturing someone you could wipe everyone out it has to do in a certain way does that make sense

Miley Cyrus

And what was that drive me to do okay so what if there's a secret. I now get what's going on. Ok. I see

Tommy f

There's a secret if for some reason you might know it and a bunch of people went and looked at it no I went out of this I don't want to go after the wall

Miley Cyrus

#Youtube

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lenorethequietbookkeeper · 2 years

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Current territory diplomacy aside, if everything worked out well what crackships could you see working?

I have sp much other shit to write but fuck it this is too good kdndkdndkd /pos

Also sorry for alternate timeline shenanigans, I ended up getting a bunch of different ideas dkdndkdjsj

*- Would only happen in another timeline

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Ferris and John- Pretty much the only holder/holder ship that would actually work. They genuinely enjoy being together and have no intent on trying to change the other. They'd both be protective of one another, but would acknowledge they have their own lives. They're also both giant art nerds who'd give honest but extremely loving critiques of each other's work.

TLDR: Horrible dorks being dorks together

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*Marietta and John- Could only happen in a timeline where the two met each other right after dying and John stayed off Jeagar's radar after coming back. They'd probably find familiarity in each other since they come from sorta similar backgrounds and seek to have the same things. Likely live like an ideal wife and husband from the 50s would. Eagerly support each other's interests and hobbies, no matter how murderous deranged or kinky strange they may be.

TLDR- A 50s sitcom meets a 70s slasher film

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*Daniel and Jeagar- Very weird one ik, lemme explain. This one wouldn't be a relationship in the regular sense since Daniel's ace and Jeagar's aro. BUT I feel in a timeline where they met in the right circumstances and weren't afraid that the other was plotting to kill them, they'd realize they had a disturbing amount in common (namely that humans can't be trusted to manage themselves). Not only that, but I feel they could actually bring out more positive attributes in each other?? Like, Daniel could help Jeagar be more vulnerable, and Jeagar could help Daniel learn to take more things seriously.

TLDR: Platonic dictator power couple that would fuck everything up for everyone else

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(Kinda *) Janice and Jeagar- This was one I actually considered making canon for a bit as a future arc kinda thing. I ultimately scrapped it cause I came up with a different ship for Janice (won't say with who cause spoilers), but this one could still kinda work! I imagine it would only happen in a scenario where Jeagar loses everything and has nowhere to go. Janice is obviously weary of the bad shit he's done, but desires to give him a job on the farm so she can at least keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't set out to do more bad shit. They butt heads a lot because they're both leader types, but when they get to talking, they realize they could learn a thing or two from each other (Jeagar learns to be less of an arrogant ass, and Janice learns to be a bit more assertive).

TLDR: Basically the plot of Sacha Baron Cohen's 'The Dictator'

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*Charles and Sylvain- Probably an enemies turned lover's kinda deal. Would only happen in a timeline where they both essentially abandon their old lives to get away from overly controlling forces (for Charles it's Jeagar, for Sylvain it's...well, I'll talk about that another day). They end up doing crime to get by and bump into each other sometimes. End up becoming rivals and trying to one up each other with their bank heists before realizing they can make bigger bank by working together.

TLDR: Gay Bonnie and Clyde

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Sylvain and Ferris- Whores being whores basically. They'd probably fuck around for a bit before learning they like making people suffer and bonding around that basically. They'd probably fight about dumb stuff a lot before resorting to hate fucking to deal with their problems. Wouldn't exactly be healthy for either party, but they're both at least assertive enough to keep the other in check.

TLDR: Still a better love story than Twilight

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(Kinda *) Sandy and Dollia- Would prob only happen in a timeline where Janice found Dollia instead of Marietta. Sandy would probably help Dollia cope with the trauma of being murdered by someone who loved her and help her get used to being an undead. Dollia would help Sandy out with whatever she needs and would probably be the first to develop feelings for her. Essentially muscle gfs that will fuck you up if you steal from Janice's farm.

TLDR: Pygmalion but his sculpture leaves him for a gay mermaid

#zop #zombiesofpythonel #ocs #oc ships #crackships #answered ask #tw: unhealthy relationship

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nofliight · 4 years

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“ ... Is everyone from Cloud’s world so attractive...? ”

#ic.#shitposting.#hey remember how i said i was free after p5r??? i lied lmao yall THOUGHT #finally getting back to ffvii remake and just... ggh these characters are so CHARMING #jessie....... aerith.......... tIFA #cloud himself is SO much dorkier than all the people who made him edgelords give him credit for #he's not an edgelord at ALL like at A L L he's just a fucking dork #who's also kind of an ass but the world around him is so nice he just can't actually be mean to it #my first proper ff experience (that isn't xv which i hated) and it's going... very welll #god i won't even promise i'll write anything my juices aren't flowing but... ggh. ffvii girls are pretty; i'm gay; pit's a simp #FDSUHIJK

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spunsugarmusings · 2 years

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Ghost Stories Starter Sentences

Starters based off of the english dub of Ghost Stories. Change pronouns as necessary! TW for swearing, drug and sex references, and mean humor.

"Run, she's a ghost AND a bitch!"

"When this bitch kicks, I'm moving to Vegas!"

"I don't care about your cat, he's probably dead."

"[blank] just showed up on the day of our mother's funeral. Our DEAD mother. Do you feel bad now?!"

"Sure! Jackass.."

"Open your books and turn to page whatever."

"Aren't any of you bastards going to help me?!"

"What the fizzity uck was that?"

"Let's fizzity uckin' find out!"

"I hope to god you're adopted."

"If it wasn't for me, your friend would be headlining in heaven."

"Hey I've got an idea! Why don't you come to the scary, isolated payphone on the bad side of town?"

"Time to go Great Santini on his ass!"

"Oh my god what the hell's happening here?! These are the fastest lips I've ever had to sync!"

"There's not enough booze in my office."

"You're an ass! Let us out, you ass!"

"Oh no, not Grand Theft Auto! What would Hillary Clinton say?"

"When are you gonna need another dramatic plot point until you decide to whip out that damn ghost book?"

"I can read! Not well, but I can read."

"It's said that if you find it, you can communicate with the spirit world! But if you order books, they really screw you on the shipping fees."

"Not get out, get saved!"

"Better get some extra napkins with yours."

"Like Jesus, it never stops working for you!"

"You smoked all of it, didn't you?!"

"Wow, that doesn't look threatening at all."

"That's so sweet! In a "you scare the hell outta me", Emily Rose kinda way!"

"The V on my sweater stands for "very big deal"!"

"Violins. Oh no!"

"She's looking straight at us, I don't think we hid very well."

"Those three to four cardboard boxes aren't gonna hold him for long!"

"Lord, reveal your salvation since I am your favorite among these heathens!"

"Deadbeat dads are not cool!"

"Hey man, if you squint it looks like a clown."

"You're here, and you are an idiot."

"Years ago, people went in there and didn't come out. Not unlike your sister."

"I know that you're gay."

"Damn, ever since Lost."

"Bless him, leaving me here alone and defenseless in a cemetery, what a guy!"

“At first I thought it was new drugs, but now I'm wondering if it was those chess club dorks.”

"From what mom says, he's a bull with a foot fetish."

"I thought meth was only bad in Oregon."

"It wasn't meth! It was another damn ghost."

"If there's a cliff on this mountain, I'm pushing both of you off it."

"In school, with adults, with dead people, I am just too popular for my own good."

"Thundercats, ho!"

"Can't tell this was a goddamn anime."

"You are shockingly hateful!"

"What movie are we ripping off again?"

"Sometimes yes means no. And sometimes you're a bitch."

"I'm going fuckin' crazy."

"Hey, maybe if they paid their FUCKIN phone bill you could call again!"

"I'm a size queen from the word go, you know what I'm sayin'?"

"I'd like to be given over to shameful lust!"

"Time to go home, load up that bong, and watch Pokemon!"

"Oh wow, I can't even comprehend how inappropriate this is."

"One day you'll understand the benefits of a good curve."

"Run! Run from yet another Japanese horror knockoff!"

"You know what I hear? I hear the sound of you shutting the fuck up!"

"Why am I doing this?! It's not faithful to my character arc!"

"Butch it up and get the torches!"

#ghost stories dub #meme #roleplay meme #rp meme #askbox meme #inbox meme #starter sentences #rp memes #sentence starters #sentence meme #ask box meme #starter prompt

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nagdabbit · 3 years

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MY GIRLFRIEND'S COMMENTARY WHILE WATCHING HER FIRST AEW PPV

"my entire fitness goal is hook's shoulder-waist ratio, but with taz's extremely dense neck."

"the funniest thing about wrestling is that this fucking company is trying to make something called a stadium stampede sound both cool, AND serious."

gf: "if you cry listening to a crowd sing judas again, im divorcing you." me: "so that means youre gonna marry me." gf: "i've been bamboozled."

about brian cage: "this man is a huge dork. like, literally, i could fit me in him."

"i dunno what it is, but i would die to protect mr. hangman. he hunk, but he also baby."

thoughtfully, "i bet i could just catch you out of the air like that. i mean, i can squat you, i could probably even curl you like that, too."

because she is deeply in wrestling twitter now: "HOOK! babe, look, its hook! hook hive, rise up!"

"what i love about this feud is that all these men are fuckin' idiots. no brain cells, just shoes and fwiendship."

"what do you mean their tag team isn't just the wild boys, wtf? missed opportunity."

"those kicks are ugly, but i would steal them, too, honestly." *thirty seconds of silence layer* "for you, babe. i'd steal them for you, i mean."

"jon, no, the germs, jon, jesus christ, please dont drink that jon you dumbass."

"i love eddie, but i'm pretty sure we should never hang out. too much extremely new york energy, we would get arrested in like ten minutes. possibly less."

"diorsday device is the funniest shit ive ever fucking heard, how goddamn sad is that."

"max caster is gonna get murdered, but i love him."

"i wish bowens and his extremely attractive boyfriend the best in life."

"colt cabana and tay conti are tied for best smile in wrestling, but tay wins because i dont want colt to kick me in the face."

"penta is the only joker i formally recognize."

"today i found out that some people don't like stu and uno, and to them i say get entirely fucked."

after rush came out and i lost my entire shit: "i don't fully understand yet, but i support you." *one minute later* "oooooooooooohh. okay, yeah."

gf: "i enjoy that cody is pushing ogogo by being a dumb bitch with this america schtick." me: "you gonna say that when cody wins?" gf: "...fuck."

"ogogo got that guy ritchie movie ass music you love to see it."

"you were right about cody and i fuckin' hate it."

"aw yeah, its big boi season."

about miro: "i'm very gay, but the thing is, men with extremely jacked traps just do something to me."

"lance changed changed the color of his extensions and i appreciate that." *thirty seconds later* "are those... three crosses? tattooed on his back? jesus doesnt like murder, i don't think he likes murderhawks, either."

"britt baker is the only dentist i want in my mouth. no, wait, don't type that one!"

"oh, fuck, shidas getting teary i'm gonna fuckin cry, oh fuck, i get it now, i'm so sorry i made fun of you, i love her."

"oh fuck, shida knee me directly in the face."

"britt scares me. like the blood drip details on her gear are really cool, but i would legit believe its real blood from her."

"are you really crying about britt and the nice announcer man hugging?"

"hey, quick question, just real quick while ive got you here... why is the emo twink... like this?"

"darby's dad looks like my dad, and i'll never be okay with that."

"i like that darby just yeets himself around like that. he came in like a wrecking ball. a tiny, tiny wrecking ball."

"sting just tossing his son around the ring like that is very good, but, sir, that's bad parenting."

"the thing about sky and page is that these are the suburb guys i beat up at the beach on summer vacation. they have big "i robbed these guys at the pier" energy."

"damn, darby just feels his emotion with his entire face, doesnt he."

"okay explain the gambling thing and WHY it's a thing."

"orange rolling into the ring is so fucking good, that man is national treasure."

after me showing her the video of younger orange cassidy shitfaced and holding a fish for no reason: "i am shocked and appalled that you're only showing me this now."

after explaining the history of the jansport: "the range of this dumbass."

"i get that kenny is good and all, but his hair really fucks me up. it's upsettingly bad and i hope he knows that."

"pac is just. so much muscle. flippy beef man. a meateor." she did specify how to spell it for the joke because it was important.

"that man is a weeb, isnt he."

"something about a man breaking a hold by putting his hands in his pockets really gets me hype."

"fuck just murder omega and be done i hate this, put it on the beef man or the juicey boy already."

"babe, ill be right back i gotta murder this callis bitch."

screaming, "THAT'S MY FAVORITE REF, YOU UGLY FUCK!"

after kenny won: "i fucking hate wrestling, this is bullshit."

"holy fuck, babe, i forgot mark henry was a wrestle boy! i know him from the olympics!"

"hey, is mark henry bigger than large paul?"

"mjf is a dumb bitch and i love him."

"hey, quick question, who thought repelling down the stadium would look cool, they're so far away."

"there's wardlow, my sweet boy. this is cool now."

she laughed for a solid two minutes at tony schiavone saying, "here comes the little guy."

"i fuckin hate hager. kill him wardlow, kill that crispy maga ass bitch."

"okay what's with the chairs." *after a brief explanation of the chairshot heard round the world* "and, like, he can't just pick a new gimmick? it's been two years, bro. move on, shes not coming back."

"okay, i admit that this is great and i love it, kill that old man on the dancefloor."

upon learning this is technically the main event: "you mean it's over after this? theyre ending the show on THIS? not the triple threat match, this?"

"i just noticed mjf's bedazzled jeans, i'm not angry anymore, this is perfect."

"no, more wardlow. gimme the beef."

"christ, sammy guevara is kinda incredible and i'm fuckin angry about it. why cant inner circle be just sammy and santana and ortiz, fuck the other two."

"no, shut up! i refuse to sing along to this! whats wrong with you?! this is a bad song!"

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