#i have so many thoughts about the gods of exandria

[shellem15]

Thinking about the Dawnfather. A god of light, a god of harvest, a god of the sun itself. Good but not nice, kind but not soft. Life-giving but also scorching. Protective, warm, and kind, but also stern, harsh, and abrasive. His light can foster growth, can protect and guide, but it can also scorch and burn. The sun is warm and nurturing but don’t stare at it too long, child, it’ll blind you.

Was he always so hard? Did he always hide his face with the harsh light of the sun? Or was there a time when he smiled and laughed, let others see him as he truly was?

Thinking about the Schism. Was the Dawnfather close to the Betrayer Gods before they turned? He must have been, Asmodeus wouldn’t be so hung up on him if he wasn’t. Speaking of Asmodeus, he was once a being of light, like the Dawnfather and the Everlight are now. Were they closer than the others? When the Gods came to Exandria, did they come from the same place or were they scattered, a ragtag group of survivors fleeing from predators seeking to devour them? And if the latter is true, did these three beings of light come from the same place? Siblings, born from the same stuff, forever tied to one another?

If this was the case, then, what was their relationship before the Schism? Did they call each other “Brother” and “Sister”? Did they hold each other when they were scared, dry each other’s tears, laugh and joke and tease and fight and make up because they were siblings and they’d always be together, and they loved each other with every fiber of their being and they only had each other. When Predathos came, when it devoured two of their newfound siblings, did the Dawnfather hold them both and promise them that everything was going to be okay because he was their brother and he was going to protect them, all of them. The gods, mortals, the world itself, they would not be devoured, they would not be destroyed, because he was there and would fight until his very last breath to keep them safe.

Wondering then, was that the moment when Asmodeus truly grew to hate their creations? Seeing his brother and sister and siblings risk their lives just to protect some mewling mortal wretches when they could just leave it all behind and start somewhere new. Was that the moment when he realized that mortals had done something to them, changed them when they were not supposed to change. Why else would they risk being devoured by Predathos, why else would they suffer through war with the Primordials? Why else would they choose them over him!? Was this the moment when he decided to conspire with the Primordials and the other Betrayer Gods? To destroy this world and the mortals on it so they could finally leave. And they would leave, of course, because the Dawnfather was his brother and the Everlight was his sister and the Gods were a family, and at the end of the day, they would always be together, and once the corrupting influence of those mortals was gone, they would surely all see reason.

And when the Dawnfather discovered this betrayal, when all the Prime Deities did, he must have been furious. How could they!? His kin, his brother, who had always been by his side through everything, how could they turn around and destroy their creations, their children. And so he and the other Primes took up arms and fought against their own family to protect this world they had created, and their children who inhabited it. Those battles must have been brutal, bonds of comradery broken, kin clashing against kin, screaming curses as they tore each other apart.

During those final battles of the Schism, when the Dawnfather clashed against Asmodeus, did they scream at each other in rage? A twisted reflection of previous squabbles, different because this time it was real, this time there is no forgiveness, no making up. When the Dawnfather knocked Asmodeus down, crushed his throat under his foot and banished him to the Hells, was he yelling when he disowned him? Or was he quiet when he did it, his voice going into a low growl, deadly calm as he told him that he was not his brother anymore. And moments previously, when the Dawnfather could have easily killed him, did he look into Asmodeus’s eyes and see his brother? Scared and hurt by his hands, hands that once held him and swore to protect him. In that moment, did the Dawnfather realize he couldn’t kill him? Because that was his brother and despite everything, he still loved him, and hurting him brought him more grief and pain than he could ever imagine. So instead, he banished him, locked him and all the other Betrayers away because he and the other Primes couldn’t bring themselves to kill their family, but they also couldn’t let them free.

Was this when the Dawnfather obscured his face? Hardened his heart because otherwise he would break, and he cannot break, because the other gods need him to be strong, because Exandria needs him to be strong. And so he stayed strong, despite the grief, despite the guilt, despite the pain of heartbreak, of hurting the ones he loved to protect the ones he loved. And this hardening must have continued, running himself ragged during Calamity, beating back Tharizdun, protecting Ioun after she almost died, sheltering the Everlight after Asmodeus once again betrayed her, stabbed her in the back and left her broken and weak when all she wanted was to do was get her brother back, to save him from his own wrath. Failure after failure after failure to protect those he cared about, to protect his siblings and mortals and Exandria itself. The guilt of his failures must be overwhelming, and these are his failures: Predathos devoured his siblings under his watch, his siblings betrayed them under his watch, Calamity ravaged Exandria under his watch, and even now, the threat of Predathos has once again returned under his watch.

No wonder he is so harsh now, so controlling now: because every time he has failed in his vigilance the world has suffered for it. He can’t fail again; he can’t lose any more siblings. And so, he continues hardening his heart, continues fighting, because the sun must always rise again in the morning, no matter what.

#did i make my first post a 1000+ word essay about the dawnfather? yes #did i write this instead of doing my work? also yes #would i do it again? absolutely #i have so many thoughts about the gods of exandria #i want to shake them in a jar and examine them under a microscope #it is my foremost belief that pelor has eldest daughter syndrome #like surface pressure from encanto is literally the perfect pelor song tell me im wrong #he is so stressed. all the time #like pelor IS a dick. absolutely #he has definitely done some fucked up shit #but he's not malicious or evil. hes doing what he thinks will protect everyone #he is in desperate need of a nap. a hug. and a therapist #this definitely delves into headcanon territory but i dont care #critical role #cr spoilers #cr meta #cr headcanons #dawnfather #everlight #cr asmodeus #pelor the dawnfather #cr sarenrae #cr gods #shelley's overdramatic character analysis

[gorgynei]

campaign 3 is so awesome because it's the first time that cr has taken true advantage of the fact that critters know exandria so well and used it against us. c3 works great without having seen other cr content, but i truly believe its best experienced by someone who's already spent hundreds of hours and multiple years living in exandria.

the concrete split between prime and betrayer deities, the ability to be brought back from death, the two moons, the existence of a pantheon- these are all treated like they're as fundamental to the world as gravity in c1 and c2. we see them as unchangable concepts because for the most part that's how theyre presented and it's how the people in exandria view them. but in c3, that changes. and its terrifying.

the gods can and have been killed, resurrection and healing magic can be prevented or completely shut off, the prime deities do wrong all the time, ruidus is the worlds best kept secret, we're not just observers of the story anymore: we're part it. matt is forcing the viewers out of the omnipotent observers position and flipping everything we thought we knew about the world on its head in order to show just how disorienting this information is and how deep the lies run. c3 is made to make you realize that nothing is solid and nothing is safe.

its incredible and such a unique experience that i really don't think many other storytellers or mediums could pull it off as well

#i loove you c3 #idk if this makes sense but. yeagh #ramblings #cr spoilers #critical role

[psychicdamaged]

Quotes from EXU Calamity I'll Be Thinking About for the Rest of Time

"Of course I'm safe. You'd never let anything happen to me." / "I would never let anything happen to you."

"Dad. You know I won't look like this when you get home."

There are a lot of stories in Exandria of mortals who stumbled their way into Feywild and fell in love with an enchanting fairy that they met there. But there's one story of a fairy who stumbled into this world and fell in love.

And in that instant realizes you can hold all the knowledge in the world. But if it dies with you, it doesn't matter.

"I promised you I'd never forget." / "I promised you I wouldn't either."

You hear in your heart, "Darling, no."

Do I know? Do I feel it? That he's gone? / You do.

Laerryn's screams fill whatever secret hallway she's in.

"No, baby. I'll always have my eye on you." And I squeeze their hands.

"I don't know how deeply you have sacrificed to do what must be done, but I know this: There is no god that strides this world that I worship more than I worship your heart... I bear your name. I bear it on this stone. And one day, I will bring you home."

In the kiss, I'll cast Cure Wounds on you.

"It's all on you, smart girl."

And I'll just turn my back on the door and let it close. / No! No, you have to go.

"I'm sorry, my lady. I love you, but I love another more" / "My child, my heart breaks. But I would rather mine break and yours be kept whole."

"But our two cities are like a married couple. We may have our differences. But we are connected by love for eternity. We made a promise to each other, and it's one we must fulfill."

"...and remember the Architect Arcane, Laerryn, the most beautiful woman in the world."

"Yes, it's me. Just look at my eyes. Don't look at anything else. Just look at my eyes, please."

I've kept so many of my thoughts and dreams and wishes for him. I hand it to him. I set it on the ground because I don't expect him to actually take it from my hands. "This is for you. Everything you've ever wanted to know about me and your father, it's here."

"Dad, dad, wait. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." "You have nothing to be sorry about." / "I do." You see, you haven't even looked in his hands. He's holding a basket with a spell kite attached.

"I don't know why I didn't send it." / "I know why, and it's okay. It's okay. Elias, I love you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Everything that I wished for you to know about me, it's in this book. Take it with you. You'll always be five years old to me no matter how much you grow."

You know me. I would never have let my guard down like that. I took those blows.

As I go down, I make sure I don’t miss

"I know what you gave. You found a path beyond the stars. I do not know whence the gods came from, but I know that you found it in your heart. I promise you, Zerxus, I will find that place. I will find the secret of how these worlds were made, and I will come and find you and bring you home."

"Yes, brother. All will be well."

"You think we'll ever get there one day?" / "Of course we will. We're the Okiros."

When you think of the future and what people will say of this time, do you think anyone will talk about how beautiful your dream was? / No. But that's all right, because it was real for us. For those who survived, they will remember, and it will inspire them to dream of things far greater.

What are Patia's final thoughts? / Just that there are many more dreams to come.

"I've been able to become anyone I want my whole life, but I just want to be with you."

"And for whatever time we have left, I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you." / "I love you, too." I'll just kiss her.

"The Brass Ring endures. I want you to know you gave us a chance." / I don't think you hear anything back. Just, you feel relief.

The fire, as brightly as it may burn, does not burn so brightly as your love, which shines the brightest in your last moment, having given this world a chance. Ash, heat, rising faster than you can imagine from the earth. And on a 31, at the very top of that cloud, the last member of the Brass Ring gets to keep his promise to his family.

You fly for weeks over oceans choked by ash and soot. You don't get to give your kids the world that they deserve, but you get to give them the world that they can fight for with you.

In Exandria, I don't know that your story will long be known. I don't know who will remain to tell it. But it did happen and it did matter. And though Calamity is here, because of you, it will not be here forever.

#exu calamity #cr #critical role #cr spoilers #nat one #critrole #critical role exu #exu #cr exu #exandria unllimited calamity #exandria calamity #exandria unlimited #brennan lee mulligan #patia por'co #nydas okiro #loquatius seelie #quote collection moment #laerryn coramar seelie #cerrit agrupnin #marisha ray #travis willingham #aabria iyengar #luis carazo #sam riegel #lou wilson #zerxus ilerez

[essektheylyss]

To no one's surprise, I have more thoughts on Ashton's feelings about faith and begging for divine intervention and never receiving it, because... well, look at what's in their head.

I tend to take the view that the Luxon as a divine entity does not necessarily have conscious intent in granting divine favor; it is closer to a foundational force of reality, with the rather nebulous thought that might accompany a living entity associated with that kind of force. So not inert matter, but not exhibiting the will and motivated action that the Pantheon or even the Primordials do. The Primordials are closer, in that they are active, but I think they are less willful. This isn't particularly relevant to this discussion except as evidential comparison, though, so I digress.

What this view of the Luxon results in, in practice, is the bestowing of power by seemingly random chance. The beacons are where they are, and any movement of their worship or use is in the hands of mortals who convey that—whether that's the expansion of dunamantic arcana in Aeor and possibly the larger world in the Age of Arcanum, or the missionary efforts of the Kryn Dynasty, or simply one person passing it to someone with ill intent who exploits another worker to expand its use and turn it into a weapon instead.

And what happens is that these smaller exchanges create ripple effects, and the path of this force being conveyed continues, which is how it has come to Ashton—by a series of circumstances that, when looked at individually, look like mundane random chance, but taken as a whole, are so unlikely that they seem meaningful in the end.

I think this gets to the heart of what the Luxon seems to rule—the world may be governed by chance and circumstances, but when those circumstances are accumulated—into an event, or a nation, or a life—they create not destiny but meaning.

Ashton's circumstances are a series of misfortunes that feel almost fated in how perpetual they are—when he spells out the course of his life, and says that he can count on his fingers how many genuinely good days he's experienced, the weight of that misery feels like an oppressive fate.

But within the amalgamation of that misery, they've also happened upon—one might say were bestowed with—power. This is the power that lets him decide to be a hero and decide to save his friends. And, by some accounts in Exandria, it would've been granted to them by a god, without even asking anything in return. It's not verbal, so it's not a concession or meant to be placating, which wouldn't do much in the long run—it's the means by which Ashton has been able to wield control over his own destiny.

So if there's any meaning to circumstance, maybe it means that when Ashton prayed, something already answered.

#this just in: marble tomes office of export controls actually just the missionary arm of the kryn dynasty. #luxon blogging #critical role #cr meta #cr spoilers #ashton greymoore #me: meta doesn't have to be super polished or formal stop worrying so much about it #also me: if I don't explain my methodology for this analysis I'll fucking die.

[rowanyx]

There is something so deep about Laerryn's choice in the finale, and Brennan's phrasing of the decision to be made.

To clarify, this scene (copied and pasted from the CR wiki transcripts):

BRENNAN: On a 16, you must make a tough decision. Do you want to further limit the release of energy and make the release of energy safer for the physical environs of Avalir and Cathmoíra, or do you want to ensure that Rau'shan and Ka'Mort will be permanently banished from Exandria?

TRAVIS: Impossible.

AABRIA: Laerryn's little joke to herself was always that the Heart of Avalir was the thing she inherited, but it was too small. She made it bigger, she improved it. She improved the Etheric Net and built this and that she was the Heart of Avalir, and she gave everything to this city. But I know what people are fighting to protect and I remember what Quay said about going down with the ship. So we will ensure it. This will work. Avalir be damned.

or this timestamp of the episode (in case the link doesn't work for the timestamp, the first comment's list has it labelled Laerryn's Tough Decision):

As we were first introduced to her, Laerryn Coramar-Seelie is the Architect Arcane. As Aabria herself even put, her whole life, all her work, is about taking the city and making it better. Building more. Expansion is the name of the game. So when Brennan specifies that the limiting of energy output will save the physical environs rather than the people, that holds weight.

Just, in a mechanics aspect, there is the fact she is an Abjurer. The whole point of her magic is exactly this choice. To stop things from being destroyed. Her wards that take the damage so that she or others will not. She is not built to bring destruction, leave the fight to others. She will be there to soften the blows that come her allies' ways. She is the one one deciding this, and it feels right, because she's spent her studies dedicated to figuring out how she will prevent the destruction that comes her way.

But that isn't all.

Because any other hero, any other party member, every other soul faced with this question could so easily think that it is a useless decision. A city can be rebuilt, but only if the Betrayer Gods are stopped before they kill all the people that can do so.

But Laerryn, who has dedicated her years to this, the position of Architect Arcane, knows this city and her structures far more intimately. She has been there, step by step, as she forged them. Designed them. Watched over their construction. It is by her hand it was built.

Asking her, specifically, is asking her to choose between everything she's done, or let it all burn. Asking her to make this decision is asking her to decide her legacy. Will she live on as the maker of the land that survived such devastation, but not the people, or will she go down as the one who helped stop the Calamity?

Her choice boiled down to this: Limiting the energy, their work, the libraries and churches, the colleges, grand towers and hallowed halls, stone and mortar, it all can go on unshattered. Or, stopping the Betrayers, the people may continue on.

Was her work more important than the lives she was surrounded by?

Aabria mentions Laerryn was given the Heart of Avalir, jokes how she improved it. But the Heart of Avalir, while magical, is only an engine. It was made, and can be again. So in this moment, I think Laerryn maybe realizes that the true heart of a city comes from the people. Always thinking, thoughts speed by her, whether or not she ever had time to really process the revelations before her demise.

Evandrin is already gone due her hubris. Who else would she lose? Would it have felt like home, without Loqautious there by her side? Would it truly feel like her city, without Patia keeping up with her? What would she cause, without Nydas to hold her back? What is Avalir, without her Brass Ring?

Her assistant, probably still waiting for her, in their offices, and the choice of which will see tomorrow?

How many will feel the heat of Rau'shan's flames as they die? How many will fall to Ka'Mort's earth?

None, she decides. Her friends and neighbors, the kinsmen of her home, will not feel these pains.

I think it is also a moment that beautifully showcases her accepting her death. She will not be here to heal her city. She's going down with the ship. Maybe her blueprints will be found and used, and Avalir will be as it once was. Maybe they won't, and they'll construct it all anew. But she won't see it, so it is their turn to take what was given and build on.

Of course, Rau'shan and Ka'Mort were not the only assets of the Calamity, and damage and destruction was still wrought across Exandria. But there are enough hands to clear the ruins and make their own stories. And that is because of the greatest Architect of them all.

She gave them a chance indeed.

#exu calamity #exu laerryn #laerryn coramar seelie #architect arcane #aabria iyengar #these thoughts refused to leave my head so long they owe rent #but they couldn't pay up so now i'm kicking them out #aka posting it so other people can deal with it #lowkey teared up the entire time i was writing this #which is better than when i'm trying to sleep and it shows up as a late night thought #and then i go to sleep fucking sobbing #because it's so beautiful #this is the shit #that i love #i don't even know like anything else about exandria #i watched calamity for #aabria my beloved #and brennan lee mulligan #was surprised when i saw lou wilson was part of it #Youtube

[shorthaltsjester]

if i ever have to see another thought piece on the description of the white picket fence outside of fjord and jester’s place in mighty nein reunited indicating jester’s unhappiness in the relationship i will burn the world to the ground.

a) heteronormativity doesn’t exist in exandria !

b) fjord isn’t your Typical Male Love Interest Guy. if i ever have to read someone say that shit again i’m gonna (correctly) assume they haven’t paid attention at all to campaign 2 and any of fjord’s character arc.

c) perhaps, jester lavorre, woman who was raised on the ideology of romance novels and sexuality as exchange, might just find it uh… not a terrible thing that the white picket fence is falling apart outside since… fjord explicitly does Not feel like those romance novels to her, instead he feels comfortable. the way that a brightly painted but rarely used house might, especially when the couple in question spends most of their time adventuring together… which is an essential part of jester’s motivations throughout the campaign.

d) the reason fjord and jester seem unhappy in the reunion might be because, well, uh, whereas everyone else was getting a “vacation”, jester and fjord’s life together (specifically the fact that Fjord Loves Jester Enough To Risk The World (Momentarily) To Save Her) was the inciting action for an apocalyptic demigod being released - they Were unhappy. who wouldn’t be given those circumstances. jester nearly died, and fjord felt like the god that once saved him had now abandoned him, i am so truly sorry that their romance was not satisfactory for your vision of atypical romance (which, by the way, is literally reinforcing the restrictive romantic tropes you think you’re criticizing, so good job i guess). i would be much, much more concerned if jester and fjord Weren’t clearly dismayed.

e) both fjord and jester are individuals whose entire lives and character are defined by the expectation (both external and internal) that they behave and emote a certain way. that they’re in a relationship with someone who they feel that they can show that they are frustrated with or disagree on the layout of their house with or have different ideas on how to deal with the looming threat of a demigod is incredible. jester and fjord are emblematic of a relationship in which the characters Aren’t meant to be, but they Want to be together and they want to understand and support the other person so they work at it. we wouldn’t have conversations like “you seem disheartened..” “i am very disheartened! you almost died!” if they didn’t take the time and care to communicate with one another.

f) if you want a honeymoon era joyful queer romance, yasha and beau are right there! they are explicitly horny and in love and bright about it! if queerness is your measure of “trope breaking” i am very sorry to tell you that queer people partake in white picket fences, and i’d actually argue that in terms of Lifestyle Metaphor, beauyasha are more adherent to the whitepicket fence, nuclear familyism. this isn’t a detriment to them, just, very literally, beau works a 9-5 where she comes back to her housewife who gardens and cooks dinner and their future includes explicit reference to children. comparatively, fjord wants to address some issues in his past, jester is an artist, and both of them are interested in adventure for the foreseeable future.

g) if you truly think that a single part of laura’s description of the part-time abode of fjord and jester overrides every interaction and choice that both laura and travis make towards fjord and jester caring for each other in a deep and meaningful way that goes beyond the weird fandom constructed Man/Woman characters being portrayed by a married couple i truly, Truly have no idea why you even watch the many hours of content that cr is when you could… play/write your own shit.

#usually i would simply block and ignore but! i got one of those weird twitter recommended tweet notifs #and there were far too many likes #also like. ppl talk about that home as if it is where fjord and jester are living their everyday life #they are on the ship most of the time. of course it’s downtrodden and illlooked after. they are adventuring. they’re writing their own story #fjord #fjord stone #jester lavorre #fjord + jester #fjorester #critical role #cr2 #mighty nein #cr meta #kinda #i’m not tagging this discourse because it’s stupid and against my principles if u don’t like this block me :) #the mighty nein

[utilitycaster]

Question; as far as we know was Imogen raised particularly conservative or overly religious?

I didn’t think that this was the case, and I know that a lot of people are projecting unresolved feelings and trauma onto her and her story. But I also feel like that having this background would make more sense than not? I dunno, some of the god stuff with Imogen feels almost like it’s come out of nowhere.

(Possibly that’s just born of my frustration with Imogen’s ambivalence to them once again being framed with “what have the romans ever done for us?”

More and more it seems less like Imogen is a well-meaning but flawed individual who struggles with trust and selfishness and more that Imogen just has a shit memory and has forgotten things - like who murdered her girlfriend, for example)

We do not know. I agree with you that this is a very common projection onto her, which is understandable - she's queer, she's got a southern accent, and she's from a small town, so I think a lot of queer people from small southern towns project their own religious trauma onto her. However, in canon there has been zero mention of a religious upbringing in her backstory until now. In fact, from episode 3x77, 2:43:40:

MATT (as Mother Brazilda at the temple to the Dawnfather in Whitestone): "Have you ever prayed before?"

LAURA Officially? No. I did try to talk to some moon goddess or something once, but I don't think-- she didn't respond or nothing.

So either Imogen's lying here at the Dawnfather temple (which seems weird), or she's lying in the Feywild about having prayed (feels more likely) or she's exaggerating (even more likely) or interpreting "I yelled at the Moonweaver once and I prayed to Pelor two days ago and NOTHING HAPPENED" as the gods not loving her (ditto), or she's interpreting the general unfortunate circumstances of her life as the gods not loving her (ditto again).

As for conservativism, I do think Gelvaan, and Relvin, are best described as "limited". Like, projecting queerphobia onto Exandria is deeply ignorant of canon and I've spoken at length about why using legitimately dangerous and invasive superpowers as a stand-in for marginalized identities is a deeply broken metaphor, but I do think she was a girl with weird and invasive powers that made her act strangely, and her mother left under odd circumstances when she was very young, and people in small towns do talk, and even if they don't talk, they think, and she can hear those thoughts.

Personally, and this is only my interpretation, what happened is first, Imogen would get headaches or feel overwhelmed from being around too many people so she frequently isolated herself or spent time only around horses, and her social skills are as a result kind of limited. I don't think she plays well with others! I think she is very impatient and judgmental in a way that tracks very well with being someone who didn't really have to share and compromise because she withdrew and did things on her own instead, and now she suddenly (Bells Hells has been together for under three months) has to consider the feelings of five other people instead of just her and Laudna, and Laudna's always been something of a doormat to her anyway, and she's not handling it that well!

Second, here's how I understand how Imogen thinks about other people's thoughts. I think she takes other people's surface level thoughts at face value; and I think she is, understandably, more generous with her own surface thoughts because she automatically knows what's underneath. To give an easy example: we all have brief intrusive thoughts and a really common one is like, if you hold a big kitchen knife, it's pretty normal to think "oh huh I could really stab someone with this." You're not going to do it, but you do think it.

I think Imogen hears that thought and goes "oh they think about stabbing people". I think that when she has that thought, she goes "oh but I would never stab someone." And that's the problem. I get why she thinks this way but it's deeply hypocritical. Because she can hear people's thoughts she thinks she's getting a sense of who they are; but she really isn't. She's getting their surface thoughts at the time and making a judgment on them that has nothing to do with their morality or choices, but because she does have a sense of self, she judges herself as a whole person. I mean we all do this to an extent - we get mad at the person who cuts us off on the highway because we know nothing about them and it's a very patient person who says "oh, maybe there's someone in labor in the backseat, maybe they just got really bad news, it's okay" - but that sort of "I'm fully realized and everyone else is judged on the last thing they thought" seems to drive Imogen's interactions even with people she knows and should be trying to build trust with.

I said it at the time but it bears repeating: I don't think Imogen forgot that Otohan killed half the party. I think Imogen genuinely believes hypocrisy isn't "rules for thee and not for me" - which as the above paragraph states, she does all the time. I think she considers hypocrisy having a thought and not being honest about it. I think Imogen would genuinely think customer service voice and statements were the sign of being a shitty person, because in you're head you're like "oh my god I want to stab this customer" and to their face you're like "I'm sorry to hear that, I'll get the manager." And so because she had that thought, she thinks the right thing to do is to bring it up, and that plus her atrophied social skills means she doesn't realize how incredibly hurtful this is to someone like Orym. I think her thought process is "maybe if we sided with Otohan this wouldn't be a problem, and because I think this, I should, in the interest of not thinking one thing and saying another, bring it up."

In the end I think Imogen is just a deeply broken and self-centered person who does not even realize this is the case; in that regard she's very much like Ashton, but Ashton just got an unmissable wake up call that she hasn't yet received.

#answered #Anonymous #critical role spoilers #critical role #imogen temult

[ludinusdaleth]

while people have many mixed thoughts about the off-kilter dynamics of the bells hells, i think it provides a very fascinating dichotomy.

from the beginning, ludinus has sowed mistrust in exandria. he grooms the dwendal line to despise every other country and seek isolationism above all else. he attempted to ensure chaos in jrusar so that it would be too difficult for them to react quickly to the bloody bridge. he banks on vasselheim refusing to take the aid or advice of the grim verity to take out both - the verity one by one, and vasselheim in a massive sweep at the key. but he also is known far and wide as a master negotiator. he helps negotiate the peace between wynandir & xhorhas (after war that he sparked - by working with the xhorhasian wizard essek). he keeps the peace between assembly members - hell, the fact he even managed to recreate the cerberus assembly, and created tentative peace between the empire & mages, is a feat in itself. he knows when to put his pride away and accept help. his very first spoken line is loudly agreeing with beau, a cobalt soul member, over the rest of his war council, and he (almost) humbly asks yudala for the cobalt souls aid, and before the nein ask a thing of him personally he ensures the cobalt soul cannot find yasha as guilty for obann's crimes - and absolutely, those actions are connected. he does everything to ensure he wins but he does it with grace, to the point he - avid god despiser who seeks to kill them all - sees fjords wildmother amulet.... points it out cheekily, and never reports it.

the bells, bless their hearts, they try, but they have barely any trust in them. they were already people utterly traumatized by betrayal before yu betrayed them, before fcg was revealed to be wired as a killer, before everything. they have tried to patch things and can communicate at this point but it is obvious even now they lack two very fundamental things - the internalization of the fact that ludinus is counting on discord to win, and most importantly, the ability to wholly agree on a set plan to a set goal. ludinus races with liliana to predathos with the understanding that he, liliana, & otohan are a team that must work as effectively as possible for a goal they collectively believe in. the bells have that loosely - stop ludinus. but the very road to getting there is rocky beyond belief. imogen is pressured by orym to dig into predathos's psyche just as she realizes she's scared of it, just as orym is losing himself to the soldier psyche, and laudna stares him down as she argues. they believe the end goal of their trust is to simply tell the others they're about to do something dangerous when hardly any of them can process they dont have to be cannon fodder. i am aware of the fact we dont have full vanguard context here, but often i think of otohan jeering at zathuda, an archfey, as she wholeheartedly sides with ludinus over him when the elf isnt even there, contrasted with orym pulling fearne aside to ask her to kill imogen if they need to.

ludinus has seen the rise & fall of so much. im sure he witnessed the selfishness of wizards like the somnovem or perhaps the original cerberus assembly. he took it as a lesson, and that is why he is at the top of the world while vess & trent & thousands of others faltered. the bells cannot often take their trauma and turn it into a healthy understanding. they are literal children in age compared to ludinus but many have a kind of arrested development as well due to their trauma, and it becomes more cruelly obvious the longer their quest continues. the difference between ludinus & the bells functionality is so staggering it is one of the most fascinating parts of c3 to me.

#long post #critical role #critical role meta #cr spoilers #van speaks #ludinus da'leth

[sporadically-writing]

Hello! I saw you had requests open for Critical Role and was wondering if you could do a one shot maybe with Percy with a reader who comes from the modern world? And they joined the team and are both on watch for the team at night and have a heart to heart about their homes maybe? (Possible realization of one or the other or even both falling in love? 👀)

Howdy! Absolutely!

Quiet Moments

Pairing: Percy de Rolo x reader

Warnings: Trapped in a parallel world, slight sadness

Word Count: 663

Honestly, meeting someone who has traveled from other planes of existence is not the weirdest thing that has ever happened to Vox Machina. However, attempting to get you back to where you came from was a far more difficult task than anyone had previously believed.

To be fair to everyone, they tried everything they reasonably could to get you home. However, unfortunately, some things are beyond magic and everyone realized, you were stuck in Exandria.

Everyone felt terrible. In the time you had spent with them, you had quickly become a treasured friend amongst the group and despite your many differences and the learning curve it took for you to find a means of personal defense in this world, you fit into the group just fine.

Which meant seeing you so saddened by the fact that you would never return home again, weighed heavy on all their hearts.

Not sure what to say to you, they sadly left you to your own devices, hoping to cheer you up when the information wasn’t as fresh. Well, all of them except a certain gunslinger.

Percy, more so than anyone he knows, understands how your brain, when turned against you, can eat you alive. He might not have been able to prevent it for himself, but he wasn’t going to let you torture yourself with depressing thoughts alone.

He was quiet as he approached, respectful. Waiting for you to give him any sign that you wanted him to go.

When you didn’t he walked the rest of the way and sat beside you. He had to give it to you, for someone not from this plane, you sure knew how to find picturesque places to be contemplative.

He sat down on the other end of the log, watching the sunset for a moment. “You know,” he said, breaking the silence, “you always find the prettiest places to camp for the night.”

He was testing the waters, attempting to see if you would talk to him. In a rare moment, something Percy would vehemently deny if you asked him later, he found himself hoping to any deity that would hear him that his plan would work.

Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Kowalski De Rolo the Third is not a pious man. With the horrors he’s suffered one can imagine why his faith in the gods might not be as strong. But, he recognized the delicate nature of the situation and for his poor heart, he needed you to respond to him. To let him be there for you and help you in whatever small way he was capable.

He had lost a home once, he’d found a new one. Now he hoped he could guide you through the same.

To his surprise, whether it be luck, divine intervention or just wonderful you, you spoke. “Comes with not being from here I guess.”

Percy chuckled as lightly as his short breath in the moment would allow, “Yes, I suppose.”

He’s quiet again, slowly reaching over and taking one of your hands in his.

Surprised at the gesture you look at him. His expression is hidden momentarily as the setting sun glints off his glasses but in a moment, tortured yet hopeful green eyes turn to face you as Percy offers you a sheepish but well meaning smile.

Your heart squeezes a little as tears work their way to your cheeks and Percy does his best to comfort you.

Once you’re a little calmer, looking away but still holding your hand, Percy opens up. He tells you as much as he can manage while keeping his composure but you get it, comforting him a little as well.

You stay that way until you can fully see the stars. Hearts beating together, coming to terms with what is to come. Your hands are still entwined, a promise that whatever happens next, you’re there for each other.

You aren’t quite there yet, but there are marks of love in you both.

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#percy de rolo x reader #critical role x reader #tlovm x reader #vox machina x reader #the legend of vox machina x reader #x reader #request

[hubrisbracket]

Hubris Bracket Side A Poll 12: Five Pebbles (Rain World) vs Laerryn Coramar-Seelie (Critical Role: Exandria Unlimited Calamity)

Propaganda below (contains spoilers)

Five Pebbles

in his pride and arrogance he thought he could solve the great problem, he got interrupted during one of his experiments because in the process he was killing one of his neighboring robots (he is a robot btw) and she was asking him to stop, now he blames her because the creature he was making mutated and essentially led to him developing 'the rot' which slowly eats away at his superstructure until it eventually kills him.

hes like a pathetic wet cat to me. guy who tries desperately to break out of his doomed narrative only to doom himself further and drag those he loves down with him. he didn't want this he didn't want any of this but in his rage and arrogance he was blind to the consequences of his actions. and now he stands slowly rotting away while his sister suffers because of his mistakes. he is sooo full of regret and anger and shame i love him

(this one is very long so we have opted to keep its original formatting for reading's sake)

GOD where do i even start with five pebbles…the hubris contained within this bitch…the angst…the regret… for a basic rundown of general rain world stuff, everything in the world is trapped in a looping cycle of life and death. eventually people adjacent things were like "dam this sucks i wanna. kil myslef" and then they dug really deep into the earth and found void fluid which kills you so hard you don't come back. however if youre a bitch or too attached to the earth u turn into a terrifying ghost thing. so the people were like "fuck that lets find a different way to kill ourselves" so they built big supercomputers called iterators then they all killed rhemselves anyways with the kil juice.so you have these godlike teenagers basically locked in bigass boxes just. everywhere every fucking where theres so many.

five pebbles is one of these iterators, and whats special about him is mainly the place and reasons he was built. iterators need a shit fuck ton of water to function (and they exhale a shit fuck ton of water vapor "turning…world, into rain world." -daszombes) so generally iterators aren't placed too close. another iterator named looks to the moon was built very early on, and eventually she couldn't make enough stuff for her people who live on top of her (forgot to mention that) so they fucking. built another iterator RIGHT next to her. pebbles and moon are like siblings, right. hes kind of an angsty guy but i mean his creators literally all killed themselves and left him solving their problem so its ok hes allowed to be. hes like "damn i hate veing trapped in this cycle and shit it sucks" and then there was a very big event that i DO NOT have the time to get into but essentially one of the iterators was like "hey guys i solved the problem" and then she fucking died which is very hard for an iterator to do so everyone had an understandable freakout.

five pebbles was of the opinion that killing herself was the solution so hes like "i have to make them see that killing yourself IS the solution" (killing yourself and/or genetic mpdification are very very taboo topics among iterators) so he goes to one of his close friends and has a real heart to heart about how much he struggles with knowing that his creators CHOSE to leave them all behind and that the iterators are all still here solving their problem even tho they're dead. this friend, in a moment of weakness sends pebbles instructions on how to circumvent the self-destruct taboo (a taboo is like a law coded into every single cell of an iterator) and five pebbles, desperate to prove to himself and others that he isnt just another useless thing that can be abandoned, so he looks at the proper, safe way of doing the procedure and goes "FUCK THAT NOIIIISE" bye running so many parallel processes he consumes five times the amount of water he usually intakes, as well as shutting off all communications. moon, having been dehydrated to the point where he structure is in an awful, awful state, eventually uses a last resort in the form of forced communications, essentially the buggest loudest discord ping of your life. her messages are pleas for pebbles to stop, that he is hurting her, that she WILL die if he continues.

on pebble's end, as he tries to concentrate on his absurd amounts of processes, moon messages crash through his communications network, COMPLETELY shattering his focus. due to the nature of this method, involving genetic modification, what is essentially cancer is allowed to burst free, uncontrolled, from his experiments. they call it the rot. pebbles, having killed his sister and cut off everyone else, desperately tries to cure the illness ravaging his structure, an effort that proves futile.

Laerryn Coramar-Seelie

Laerryn devoted her entire life to making the city of Avalir capable of teleporting to the Upper Planes so that the entire city of mortals would be walking as equals amongst the GODS.

laerryn my beloved. the OG hubris wizard, dead before the story even started & it was her own fault. she used all her city's magic supply to be able to TELEPORT the ENTIRE CITY to a DIFFERENT PLANE because she COULD. because she wanted to prove that SHE COULD. because she thought the gods weren't all that special and wanted mortals to be equal to the GODS THEMSELVES. COME ON. she could have easily made it safe but she was so determined to accomplish this in time that she used way too much magic and put the whole city in danger. she wasn't thinking about safety, she was thinking about what she could accomplish. she also got one of her best friends, who was a husband and a father to a young child, KILLED, due to experimenting on said aforementioned 'attempting to teleport the entire city to a different plane' thing (complete disregard of safety once again). to list her lesser hubris crimes, she neglected her marriage and got divorced bc she was so focused on her work and herself even though she loved her husband dearly and convinced herself she was doing all of this for him, even though this is never something he wanted. also she cast blight on a super important tree that could have saved the world, and destroyed it. and yeah it was because she wanted to protect her friends/out of love/grief BUT she basically set in motion the rest of the events of exu calamity (aka, oh yknow, the DESTRUCTION OF MOST OF THE WORLD) by doing that. by thinking she COULD save her friends by destroying the tree. basically, she thought she knew better when she very much didn't. i'm not saying she caused it (the betrayer gods caused it obvs), but she for sure had a large part to play in the destruction of her own city (and also in saving it, but still). basically i love her. HUBRIS QUEEN.

#hubris bracket #Laerryn Coramar-Seelie #critical role #Five Pebbles #rainworld #rain world #exu calamity #exu laerryn #(mod bee here: both extremely strong contenders with a lot of similarities. anyone's game for sure.) #(however am i biased towards laerryn? yes. i love her.) #round 1

[zeephyre]

CR3: EPISODE 63 SPOILERS

I'm literally losing my mind rn guys

i haven't even finished the episode yet as im typing this, currently ashton is holding laudna as she cries on their shoulder after she sucked the life out of bor'dor.

i always had the suspicion that bor'dor wasn't telling the truth or telling a version of the truth, but i never really talked about it cause everyone was throwing out theories. i had an...inkling that he was connected to ludinus or just ruidus in general, and i was right in a way.

him being ruby vanguard is devastating but not surprising. it connected so many things that i chose to brush off cause i didn't want to seem paranoid. a specific moment being bor'dor killing the angel of the dawn father. during that scene, the way matt described the look in that angel's eyes as it died did not match the way that bor'dor retold it and i thought i had just...forgotten how the actual scene played out. now that i know, even tho i haven't rewatched that episode, i have a feeling that the hatred and righteous judgement i remembered was the accurate version.

i don't think bor'dor is bad, simply because i have no way to come to that conclusion when i know how easy it is to let fear and pain and anger drive you to vengeance -- the hellians are feeling it too, and i feel deep compassion for them so i feel for bor'dor too.

for all of ludinus' preachy bullshit he never gave me the impression that he gave a single fuck about the people who followed him or about the lives he ruined to accomplish his goal. i don't think bor'dor was some big wig, i think he was just a kid who was vulnerable and powerful and easily coerced. i do not think he is without blame -- his actions with the ruby vanguard have led to incomprehensible repercussions for everyone on exandria and outside of exandria too. (bear in mind, we don't even know how the apple bee's soul cycle has affected the fey realm -- or any other realms for that matter).

i think that there was no way bor'dor could have survived this night with the way it went. i don't think there could have been a moment where he snuck away. if he got a lucky roll, maybe. i don't think bor'dor died because /he/ was an unforgivable monster.

he died because laudna, ashton and orym were at their breaking point and none of them wanted to pull each other from that place of hatred and anger. they've spoken about feeling powerless -- terrified and angry at the situation they were forced into when they truly have nothing to do with ludinus' anger at the gods. orym, especially, has been struggling with his grief and his stubbornness, and this moment will have effects on all of them for these upcoming battles and hardships.

laudna. jesus christ. im so upset that delilah is back. or at least pieces of her are thriving inside laudna, seemingly every time she uses her necrotic magic. for a single moment, she felt delilah's complete control over herself and other people in a situation where laudna had no idea what to do and how to get shit done, and as soon as delilah had nothing left of bor'dor to scavenge off of, laudna was back to feeling weak.

i can't even process the lore drops of ashton's heritage and his father and the history of the hishari and the fact that abadina WAS an hishari ???? they need to go that cursed town soon or im gonna lose it. hell, maybe they're already headed there.

deni$e might say she didn't care whether bor'dor lived or died but i know that isn't true because she was a) the only person who didn't actually hurt him and b) she was trying the entire time to get the others to at least interrogate him. i don't think that would work for multiple reasons. bor'dor was yeeted to kingdom come so bor'dor would likely not have anything useful for them atp, and also bor'dor is absolutely not nearly as important to ludinus as they need him to be.

im gonna miss utkarsh 😭

i think that maybe if bells hells was together, he'd live. but ashton, laudna and orym are too... there's something dangerous about these three being separated from their people. dangerous for themselves mentally and for anyone who stands in their way. i NEED bells hells to be reunited again.

it's sad that the characters with such a strong history of loss and betrayal and abandonment and grief and loss of control would have the traitor amongst them. there is nothing that bor'dor could say that would lessen the pain orym feels having lost his husband and his father, of him and his friends being killed by a cruel, vicious comrade of ludinus', of the tempest being trapped /because/ orym was the one who led her straight into it. the gods are all good and well, but i don't think it will EVER be about the gods for orym. i won't say he's correct or in the right for his narrowed vision and hardened heart. he took that locket for a reason, and throwing it aside is a calculated disposal of that inherently inconvenient empathy orym has for people around him. he can't afford to feel. not now.

#critical role #cr3 #bells hells #critical role campaign 3 #ashton greymoore #orym of the air ashari #laudna #bordor dogson #bor'dor dog'son #prism grimpoppy #denise bembachula #cr denise #deni$e #cr spoilers #c3 e63 #cr3 ep63 #critical role c3 #c3

[isagrimorie]

[initial reactions] Critical Role C3x65

(This took a while to do because the first one I wrote vanished when I hit 'undo' to undo one action and it erased everything).

SO. Many things happened!

Out of the gate, Laudna aired her frustration about how Team Wildemount seemed to have had a better time than their team. And everything FCG, Imogen, and Fearne said just made things worse.

Until Laudna let out the 'And your new best friend' thing with Imogen and Frida. Imogen looked so bewildered, her 'excuse me???'

Ashton remains the heart of the group, I love that Ashton missed Chetney and his shenanigans (even though Laudna looked like she was a second away from throttling him). And I'm glad they were able to talk to FCG to calm down a little. FCG was working on my final nerve when they internalized Laudna's frustrations and made it all about them. It feels like Ashton had an epiphany and realization after seeing Laudna's breakdown, it was a wake-up call. Also for them, Bells Hells is:

We also get to learn more about Ashton's backstory and maybe they didn't pursue the direct Hishari line but maybe they can pursue that question in Zephra.

I love the whole thing with the Duskmaven. I love the vision and the realization that Vax is still suffering in that Orb.

The vision the Matron of Ravens gave to Orym, Fearne, and Chetney was fantastic. Matt’s description was so evocative. And then the doors slamming except instead of doors its the white mask of the Matron. She’s in mourning.

I continue to adore the differing views about gods, I love that both Ashton and Laudna’s view is— they don’t need to worship the gods to save them and the world. And after everything Ashton went through, maybe it’s the gods turn to reach for him, and that for Laudna, just like with FRIDA, her faith belongs with the people she’s with.

Let’s talk about Fearne’s ‘I won’t lose anyone else’? Because she’s not as vocal about it. But she’s equally as traumatized losing people but also she might not be possessive of her sexual and romantic partners but friends? Fearne is possessive of. Orym is her best friend!

I also love that Chetney had to deal with the consequences of his actions. He forgot about it but Matt didn’t!

Fearne and FCG are scrying for Ludinus and Liliana and find… that they’re both on the Rudius moon!

Even Ira is on the moon! So. I feel like the end game for this is Bells Hells going to the moon, on a race against time to stop Ludinus for doing his final thing to free Predathos (who will then eat him). I don’t know why Lililana is still following Ludinus since it’s obvious his promises were bunk, but I suppose sunk cost fallacy is a thing.

Also as Aabria said: “Are we all dancing around the fact y’all need to go to the moon?” Because she was RIGHT! They were dancing around the fact they’re all going to have to go to the moon! Thus kickstarting Exandria’s Space Race!

And now to the MAIN THING.

I love actually, that this whole thing with them: the misunderstanding, the kiss all happened with Imogen’s ability to passively mind read shut off. I also love that it all comes in the heels of Laudna airing out her frustrations. Because this time Imogen has to really talk to Laudna, she can’t just get the mental vibe from her. They have to talk. IMO this is the best thing that’s ever happened to both of them, I think they both relied on the fact that Imogen can just ‘hear’ Laudna’s thoughts.

Laudna never minded that Imogen can hear Laudna’s thoughts. But I love that Imogen not hearing Laudna’s thoughts at first pass is actually good for them. Because now Imogen has to learn how to communicate with Laudna through words and sometimes she’s off the mark — the first part where almost everything Imogen said just upset Laudna, to Imogen’s tentative: “Can I kiss you? Because I’m not sure anymore.”

Also, ‘Can I kiss you?’ both did and didn’t come out of nowhere this is a direct continuation of Laudna and Imogen’s conversation the eve of the Solstice. It all started with:

IMOGEN: I don’t know, since you came back, I’ve been almost scared to say anything. [a beat] LAUDNA: Say what? And Imogen did confess to Laudna but Laudna didn’t get it! And then the next second, they were separated from each other.

I can imagine Imogen thinking the next time she gets to see Laudna again she’s not going to chicken out and then Laudna misinterpreting her friendship with FRIDA seems to have resolved Imogen further. Her bewildered: “Excuse me???” was everything.

And then there’s Laudna’s everything, her stress and her breakdown, and fear that her worst self is her only self when it’s the furthest from the truth. Imogen would follow Laudna into the dark because she also feels the calls of temptation. She used to hate her powers but she’s accepted her powers and learned to love it because without her powers she would never have met Laudna.

But also, Laudna being in her Regency Romance era (to coincide with Laura’s ‘Pride and Prejudice’ era) they are so compatible with that Regency Romance with a large serving of Gothic romance.

I’m so intrigued at how both Laudna and Imogen are keeping their change of status from best friends to dating to themselves but it also makes sense they want to figure this thing they have with each other away from other people’s input and feelings.

I also can’t wait for Laudna’s new outfit and Pate backpack home.

And now they're in Zephra, off to one of the most beautiful places in Exandria when everything's on the edge of tipping into something. I can't wait to watch the next episode!

Also, it took awhile but I finally got to finish this not so initial reactions. Thanks, tumblr for the delay!

#initial reactions #long post #cr 3x65 #laudna #imogen temult #bells hells #critical role #ship: southern gothic #critical role spoilers #ship: laudna x imogen #ship: imogen x laudna #critical role c3 spoilers #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #orym of the air ashari #chetney pock o'pea

[quipxotic]

I have a lot of thoughts about episode 60 of Critical Role, but I’ll start with this one. I’ve had my own issues with the frequent retreading of the “maybe the terrible people are right/would getting rid of the gods be so bad.” For one thing it’s been done...and done and done and done with barely any new ideas or arguments being added to the conversation. From a story perspective, for me, that’s not very interesting.

But Campaign 3 doesn’t exist in a vacuum. The events and relationships between characters and the gods in C1, C2, and EXU: Calamity are still there, still valid, but Campaign 3 is providing context to them. I think Matt is intentionally bringing Bell’s Hells into contact with people who are antagonistic to the gods to show that this is a very common point of view for a lot of people in Exandria, particularly people on the margins or without power. I don’t believe for a second Ludinus cares about helping these folks, I think he’s just after more power for himself, but he’s tapped into something real. So saying “but that’s not how the gods are” misses the point. That’s how they are to these people in this moment. Everyone is an expert on their own lives. It doesn’t make them right in the big picture, but they don’t have access to the big picture.  We the audience do have access to that big picture, which is part of why the argument seems so very strange to so many Critters.

#Critical Role #critical role spoilers #Bells Hells #fan theories #quipxotic stuff

[leet911]

The Way Things Were

When they finally return to Jrusar, Imogen removes her Circle of the Hidden Eye as soon as they're inside the city proper.  And although the thoughts of the city's denizens start to press in around her, Imogen sends her mind out, searching.

Laudna?  I'm here, Laudna.

It's been weeks of trekking across Exandria, worrying about gods and magic and moons and battles and skyships.  So many failed sendings and teleports, so many sages consulted, so many sleepless nights spent thinking of Laudna, hoping that Laudna was all right, wishing that Laudna could hear her if only Imogen just tried hard enough.

So Imogen searches now, bypassing the drone of thoughts around her, focusing in one direction then another, her brow furrowing as the city gets louder and louder.  The thoughts of each mind she passes become clear for an instant before she shoves them to the background, continuing to scan.

When she hears what she's looking for, it's faint, like a distant wind chime, but immediately recognizable.  Imogen stops walking then, falling into her own consciousness as she makes contact.  The music is strong, and vibrant, and hopeful, and Imogen drinks deeply from it.

Laudna!

Imogen?

Continued below the cut, or on AO3.

And the relief that washes over her is palpable.  Her shoulders sag as they relax, the knot in her stomach loosens just a little, her fingers tremble.  Then she's running, her mind guiding her higher up the spire.

I missed you so much, Laudna.

Me too.

Imogen reaches the cable car station where a crowd is waiting to board.  Without thinking, she runs right up to the edge and leaps over the railing, her powers carrying her up faster than the gondola.  Below, Chetney and FCG look at each other, but Fearne transforms into a stork and follows her flight.

I'm here, Laudna.

I see you.

And as Imogen lands on the core spire, there's a figure running towards her, dark hair and pale skin, thin frame and ragged clothes.  Imogen has never seen anything more beautiful.

The thoughts become jumbled then, on both sides, each a whirlwind of everything that haven't managed to say to each other for weeks.  They have never been apart for this long.  Not since they met.  Not even that time when Laudna died.

And Laudna is here.  She's fine.  She is running into Imogen, laughing and crying at the same time, wrapping their arms around each other as they crash together in the middle of the street, not caring about other people around.

"Imogen." She says, not a question or an exultation, just a name, and Imogen shivers at the sound of that familiar voice.  Laudna's cheek is cool against hers, and Imogen is suddenly embarrassed by how wet her own cheek is.

"Oh, Laudna."

Then Orym is there hugging her too, and Ashton, and Fearne encircling them all.  And when the gondola spews out the rest of their group, there are shouts and laughs and hugs and tears all around.

Later that evening, when they are back at Zhudanna's, alone in their room, they lean against each other on the bed, legs outstretched.  The hands between them are clasped, fingers interlaced, and Imogen tells herself she will never let go.

I missed this so much.

Laudna’s free hand traces up a leg, following the purple streaks, lingering at the hem of the shorts.  Imogen shivers even as she covers up with a blanket.

You don’t have to hide.  Not with me.  Nothing’s changed.

Their faces turn towards each other then, dark eyes meeting amethyst ones, but Imogen averts her gaze just as quickly.  She has changed though.  And not just on the outside.  She wants things with Laudna to change.  I don’t think we can go back to the way things were before.

Now it’s Laudna’s turn to look away.  Why not?

Imogen’s heart skips.  She starts speaking out loud because that would make it real.  And she needs Laudna to know this is real.  “Laudna, I—”

“Ashton told me what you said.”  Laudna doesn’t let her finish.

“What?”

Laudna blinks back tears, and Imogen feels her heart breaking even more.  “Ashton told me what you said.  When I was dead and you needed me back.  I heard Orym, but I never heard what FCG or you said.  It was so muffled, so distant.  I couldn’t make out the words.  But Ashton told me, one night when we were apart, when I missed you so much I couldn’t sleep.  Ashton told me what you said.  So why can’t we go back to the way things were?”

Imogen clenches her jaw and lets out a long sigh.  Several seconds pass before she speaks.  “Because I love you.”  It’s not a secret.  It should never have been a secret.

"Of course, I lo—"

"No," Imogen cuts her off.  She needs to say this.  "I'm in love with you." She needs Laudna to understand.  So Imogen is leaning forward, and there's no turning back this time, even if there's tingling in her limbs, fear and lightning in her veins.  Because Imogen can't pretend anymore.

When their lips touch, Laudna sucks in a breath, but she doesn't pull away.  Imogen kisses her, slow and gentle, asking for permission.  Laudna's lips are cool but soft, parted slightly, and when the point of her tongue pokes out, Imogen can't hold back the gasp of relief that overcomes her. As they separate, Laudna shivers, and Imogen doesn't remember that ever happening before.  Laudna's eyes are closed, eyelids fluttering as she licks her lips, nostrils flaring with clipped breaths.

Imogen slides the back of her knuckles across Laudna's cheek, brushes away a lone tear.  Are you all right?   Laudna looks fragile, even though Imogen knows she is anything but.

Dark eyes open, tear-filled and piercing all at once.  Oh Imogen.  Do it again.

So Imogen covers Laudna's mouth with hers.  This time the kiss is insistent, hungry, forceful.  Imogen doesn't mean it to be so needy, but she can't help herself.  There's a humming that starts, and Imogen isn't sure which one of them it is, if it's even a real hum, or just in their heads.  As the humming increases in intensity, so does their kissing.

Imogen is shaky breaths in between furtive kisses, fidgeting hands in between desperate clinging.  Don't ever leave me.

Laudna squeezes her tight.  I always thought that you would be the one to leave.

And Imogen knows this isn't fair.  They've had far too many close calls to make this promise to each other.  But she says it anyway.  I won't leave.  You're my tether.  If you love me, I'll always stay.

Because these feelings are real. Even if they didn't set out to save the world, Laudna deserves the world, and Imogen would give all of it to Laudna if she could.

#critical role #fanfiction #my fic #imodna #also on ao3

[essektheylyss]

God, I am having so many thoughts about how FRIDA and FCG are missing their memories. Because they don't have to be, presumably—FRIDA was likely pulled out of Aeor, where the Repair Terminal is, and up until a week ago in Exandria, fast travel wasn't particularly difficult. But if Devexian is D as has been suggested, then he knows that. He's used it and came from there.

Which would mean that that's a choice he is making on behalf of every automaton he's waking, and setting them on paths without any ties to their pasts purposefully. And the implications of that are so, so interesting, not least given the hubris we already know Aeor is known for.

Was he woken to ruin without having any input or choice, and found it too painful to bear?

Did he then take it upon himself to make that choice singlehandedly for every other one of his kind?

#critical role #cr spoilers #fresh cut grass #frida #cr meta #listen. THE HUBRIS. THE ARROGANCE. THE TRAGEDY. #I'm obsessed with it. let me psychoanalyze the SHIT out of this robit. #essek voice: I don't trust it........ #(he was correct. as always. 😌 /j)

[masterqwertster]

Fantasy 2 + the soulblooms au if i can add that on??

Fantasy 2: "You saw that too, right?" So it really doesn’t use the quote, but this is what I was inspired to write: People looking at that plethora of soulmates Bells Hells has and knowing that likely means Fate has Big Plans for them.

Gaze upon your Fate

There was much celebration in Hishari when Efterin’s child was born. After all, their great leader now had an heir.

An heir born with three soulmates that increases to five in a few short years.

It’s a good thing, Efterin tells himself. A large soulmate group is often indicative of a powerful Destiny. And what is reviving the Primordial Titans but a very powerful Destiny? Hishari’s success seems all but guaranteed with the many blooms upon Efterin’s, their leader’s, own heir.

(He does his best to ignore the burning jealousy he feels of his child. That he only blooms for his wife and has had to travel the world to get any acknowledgement of the great Destiny that is his)

___

Lord Wyvernwind looks upon his second-born son, healthy and strong as his first-born.

Unlike Cyrus, Brontë has seven soulmates from the start, rather than a more… normal one or two.

It’s not a terrible thing. Many soulmates often means a noteworthy existence, which can be… difficult for a second-born son of a high-standing family to achieve normally. So often the second-born lives in the first-born’s shadow, an ever present support that goes unremarked upon by most.

Though a part of Lord Wyvernwind does wish it was Cyrus with so many blooms. It would be a reassurance that the Silken Squall would be in good hands when it’s time for him to step down. A noteworthy leader is good, a noteworthy backup… just a little bit concerning.

But only time will tell whether Brontë’s blooms bode ill or well for the Squall.

___

Alma watches her boy practice with his sword in the yard. Orym is determined to follow Will (who’s following his father) into the Tempest Blades. Determined enough to practice what he’s learning even at home so he can be one of the best. 

It’s not the worst thing in the world that her boy wants to protect people, especially the ones he cares about. But, she worries about what Orym may be asked to guard against one day.

After all, eight soulmates is an awful lot for a fifteen-year-old. The last time Zephrah saw those kinds of numbers, it was the Voice of the Tempest herself. And just look at Vox Machina: slayers of the Chroma Conclave and saviors of the world by sealing away a newborn evil god. 

Any reasonable mother would worry about what Destiny has in store for her child with that kind of precedent.

Still, Alma will support her Orym as best she can.

___

Morrigan the Fatestitcher looks at the child left in her care, her new granddaughter.

The little faun is six years old and she has nine soulmates. It’s rare enough for a fey to have one soulmate, but nine? Practically unheard of. And special even on Exandria where most everyone has a soulmate or four.

More than that, Fearne is the child of a minor archfey Lord in the Unseelie Court purposefully born under Exandria’s Moon of Ill Omen. A powerful bloodline, a cursed birth. Such plans that were put in place for reasons Morrigan can’t yet unravel to make this child so. 

Yes, her granddaughter’s thread hums with all the possible Fates that await her.

She’s something special, Morri’s little Fearne, so it’s best to keep a finger on that thread and make sure no one fucks up what is hers.

___

Relvin watches his daughter run off with the witch from the woods and supposes it was inevitable.

Seven soulmates, and that witch is one of them.

He’s spent a long time trying to deny that his little girl has enough soulmates to be a victim of some big Destiny, but everyone has to wake up and face reality someday.

It just hurts.

Liliana left nearly twenty-five years ago because she saw that writing on the wall and thought she could cut it off by leaving and looking for answers about her, their, powers. Now Imogen is gone too. Maybe for that same search. Definitely because of the soulmate she found who’s not welcome in Gelvaan (and Imogen isn’t really either. Not after leaving as she did. …And maybe before that too, with her difficulties with the townsfolk).

All Relvin knows is that his girls are gone, and this blooming Destiny has got at least a little something to do with it.

___

Dancer sits beneath a jungle tree, bloody and sweaty and scared, as far from that godsforsaken mine as her tired legs would carry her. 

It’s not as far as she’d like, thanks to the fucking bloodloss of having her fucking arm hacked off. The hasty bandage she’d wrapped around it as she ran is already soaked through with blood.

They didn’t think FCG had it in him to attack anyone like that, much less their friends.

But folks can be deceiving, Dancer supposes. It’s what they get for waking up an ancient machine they have very little understanding of. Never know what someone else has built until it’s coming for your throat.

The worst part, she thinks, is that FCG has soul blooms. Seven different ones. And those poor fuckers are going to think their big Destiny is a good one. Dancer doubts it. Not with a monster like FCG in that group. And that’s assuming he doesn’t kill them first.

___

It’s unconventional to let one so old attempt the Hunter’s Bane.

The Bane is harsh, deadly. Not all who attempt it survive, and many of them are younger, healthier, than the old gnome they found turned in the Savalirwood.

But he has gumption, this one. Gumption and a mess of seven soul blooms.

Reviled as they often are for their sacred duties, the Claret Orders still serve the Matron of Ravens, and part of her Domain of Fate is soul blooms. How could they claim to follow Her if they did not heed the warning that this one was needed for some larger Fate?

So they give the old man turned new wolf the Bane and wait and watch, to see if he will rise stronger, ready to face his Fate.

___

Delilah watches from behind her vessel’s eyes as a ragtag little group of adventures, of soulmates (as if they will ever know what true love and devotion are), comes together.

Just a little bit, she is reminded of that awful, pesky Vox Machina. Adventuring soulmates, both them and this tentative unnamed group.

As much as she hates Vox Machina (and she loathes them for separating her from her Sylas again and again), even Delilah can admit that the group has had quite the impact on the world. 

So it is a little hopeful that her poor, naive vessel has come into her own group marked for greatness. After all, greatness need not be for the good of the world. And even so, there’s quite a lot Delilah can do with a bit of greatness to influence and command.

Maybe, after thirty tedious years, she’ll finally be able to collect the power needed to bring Him back to her side once again.

Yes. It will be quite interesting to see where little Laudna’s Destiny leads.

Also on AO3

#MQ&A #genre prompt #MQfic #MQ AU machine #soul bloom au #bells hells