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dykeomania · 1 year

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𝒎𝒊𝒂'𝒔 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒓𝒃𝒔: parenthood (3).

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: parenthood means stress, and endurance, and exhaustion, and learning curves, and ... sometimes, really, really, really good sex?

𝐚/𝐧: this is my Parenthood (Thought) Piece because i understand that i am mentally 30 but i llloooooooooooveeee a good domesticity concept i eat that shit up nnomnomnonmonmnom. i needed to talk about early parenthood with ellie and i needed to talk about some of the ... Alternate Consequences ... of early parenting .. if you will. this was fun. this was also composed between the hours of like, 2-4am. i think it's pretty literate, and kind of alright. you may have a fun time reading it. if you don't, sorry i'll venmo you a dollar. not ssssure if i really have anything else to say, honestly. proofread (at a very early hour, mind you) but i always make mistakes, i'll always edit over time.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: i understand these tags are like super weird and i always preface my fics like "fuck around and find out," but just to be clear, this fic does not sexualize children in any way. any way. just to really make that clear. mentions of you and ellie being engaged. joel's technically alive. mentions of children. parental uncertainty. stress. a little bit of sub bottom!ellie. we're dipping our toes in. also dom top!ellie. mentions of oral (both receiving), mentions of vaginal penetration (reader receiving). both ellie and the reader being milfs / ellie thinking its really hot how you are a good mom (there are still so many things in this category that i could've hit that im probably not even thinking of, so if y'all like this and wanna talk about them, Please talk to me) i write in past tense for literally all of it and this is just a me thing, but that's not really my style, so things may be .. off. or maybe it's just me. maybe i'm tripping. we'll see. it's like, 4am. so.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.1k, just about (i did too much).

. . . .

you both lived on the farm. it was a quiet, proud little life that you lead. a picturesque actualization of all of the little thoughts and dreams that you and ellie have had about living together, about having a family. though, parenthood was new, and difficult. there were some nights that the baby wouldn't stop crying, and both of you would take turns feeling like shit -- one usually at a grander magnitude than the other -- because neither of you would know what to do. what, am i like, a bad mom? does he hate me? you spent time convincing each other that that is simply not the case, and that this was all part of the process. that you were both new, and learning, and that it's okay.

if you knew nothing else, whether that be due to not having experienced parenthood before or the delirium accompanying the heavy set bags and dark circled ruminating under both of your eyes, then you did know that there were a few things for certain: he will suck his thumb. his cries will turn to wails which will turn to sniffles, which will turn to sighs. he will get tired. he will roll over, and coo, and will go to sleep.... eventually.

granted, while this mentality in general made things easier throughout the early days of raising your newborn son, there was still no doubt that it was.. exhausting. in every way. parenting was a constant learning curve, and it took tolls on both of you in different ways. for ellie, she'd get quiet. snippy, even, and gain a little bit too much audacity at times. a snarky remark or demonstration of blatant impatience towards something minuscule, but still hurtful. her frustration would always point toward some deeper issue that she often struggled met with annoyance first, and words second. one of the first things that ellie learned while parenting was that she was really bad at communicating. she'd find herself throughout the first three, maybe even six months, constantly finding ways to say sorry.. even without saying really having said it. like, slipping into bed when after you'd finally went to sleep, and pressing kisses to your temple. or making sure the dishrack was completely empty, so you'd have one less thing to work about. albeit she struggled to verbally explain that while she understood you were too, she was just.. a little tired.

maybe it was the sleep deprivation, or her willingness to take up most of the tasks that required attention in areas other than just the inside of the home. which.. you did have to admit, were a little bit more intense than cleaning and washing dishes. no one asked her to do all of that. she took it upon herself to do extraneous tasks, like fix the fucking roof, during the peak of summer. and you'd always offer to help, truly. but it was always no, i've got it. you've got other stuff to do. you just go play with him, and i'll be in to take over in a little, okay?

you would, at times, have to sit her down and remind her to take it slow. that the roof isn't really bothering either of you, right now, and it won't until .. october, probably. that it's okay to swap out, if need be. she can do dishes, cook if she wants (burn down the house, if she wants), clean up while you go fix the wiring of the fence, tend to the horses, whatever the fuck she feels the need to do, on top of having to do already.

you would have to remind her, that she just can't do everything all at once. and that's okay. but that's also neither of your faults.

both you and parenthood alike would teach her to .. slow down, take it easy, and to talk.

ellie would have to teach you something similar, believe it or not. your back hurt. your tits wouldn't stop fucking leaking, and ever since you gave birth, you wouldn't stop getting these aching migraines that made your ears ring. you quite literally found yourself bending over backwards, trying to do everything all at once all of the time (sound familiar?), because you knew that it was as much of your job as it was ellie's. you can change the diapers, you can pump the breastmilk, you can clean the house, you can stop him from crying, you can read him books (that he couldn't understand, yet, technically), you could do everything. and theoretically, you could. and you would, until it made you frayed, and unhealthy.

that would be enough to make ellie to step in, put her hand on your shoulder, and advise you in a tone that was about as gentle as it was stern:

hey, let maria take him for a couple of days. you're tense -- i can feel you from across the house.

despite the anxiety and the frustration and the sleep deprivation and the exhaustion, you really would feel grateful to be experiencing this trying time together. there were some patterns characterizing it that were obviously stressful, and anxiety-inducing. but there were some consistencies throughout it that were be sweet, and tender. like, running each other warm baths. sitting – either in the bath, with the other, or on the toilet, or the side of the bath – and talking in low volume, not really out of fear of waking the baby, but just to kind of relish in the pocket of peace that existed between the two of you in that moment. the affection never died between the two of you. you were always snuggling close to each other when it came time for bed. always pressing tender kisses to each other's shoulders, holding each other's hands, circling your thumbs and indexes over each other's engagement rings.

… But!

you know... i'm a whore. so honestly, what really spurred this whole thought, is the fact that .. during parenthood your sex lives would practically be nonexistent. and it's not something that either of you really notice, until one of you explicitly brought it up. raising a child -- especially raising one in an environment that you both worked to keep safe, secured, and comfortable -- is a lot of work.

it wouldn't dawn upon either of you until you both were eating one night at the table - another tradition that you did not forfeit. you managed to dance around the subject due to something entirely tangential, and then it hit you, and you said – out of pure realization, ellie, we haven't had sex in .. like, months.

and just like that, the consequences of at least 98 days of involuntarily celibacy hit you both like a fucking truck.

for you, it came in the form of .. the simple reminder that your soon-to-be-wife is really... really fucking physically flawless. you'd notice this everytime she'd wear short-sleeves, or shirts no sleeves, which was really only.. every once in a while, as jackson got colder, or whenever you both woke up. sometimes you'd find yourself looking at ellie's back profile as she sat upright on the bed, adjacent and turned from you, stretching a big, grand stretch, and you'd feel a specific heat beginning to tickle the insides of your thighs. you found it harder to keep your gazes to yourself as ellie exited the shower, muscles apparent, and glistening. her whole body was littered with scars, and yet she was still so gorgeous. it was hard to believe that even for a second you failed to recall – or be conscious of – the fact that as much of a teddy-bear as she was, you were practically dating a fucking sculpture.

naturally, you would act on your desires first. and frankly, ellie would be so willing to lean into them.

she'd be lying if she said sometimes she didn't wake feeling a bit restless, and like there was only one thing that soothe her. she craved it, sometimes – your hands, on her. all she needed were some quick rubs against her clit and kisses against her skin to motivate her to get out of bed and feed the animals. and she was so, so fortunate to have a fiancée good enough to her to give her just that.

she dared, shame on her, to forget how good you could make her feel. ellie never really let anyone touch her, before she met you. before she met you, she was honestly convinced a lot of the parts "down there" didn't work. she could hardly achieve making herself cum. it’d take so long. ellie hardly masturbated because she’d get impatient in any ordeal that wasn’t some needy, feral 3am occurrence that left her stirring, sweaty, and overwhelmed. it was a lot of buildup for what she saw as, in the end, very little payoff. and as far as other people making her cum went? well, no one had ever gotten that far. frankly, she didn’t think anyone would get that far.

that was until she met you.

it definitely wasn’t easy. there were a lot of tired wrists and upper biceps, and your jaw did get pretty sore. her pussy was gorgeously messy. but her clit liked to hide sometimes underneath the extra skin. when you found it, you learned that it was usually, extremely sensitive. but you told her that that was okay. you could make that work.

you spent a lot of time learning all of the technicalities. what was too much, what wasn’t enough. what to say to her; how fast to rub her.

it paid off, because about a month into dating, you showed her that it — and frankly, anything — was possible. just takes a little bit of time, and patience, kisses and whispers of affirmation how about how good she feels. how good she’s doing. takes some listening, intently, to what she needs. to what her body needs.

can feel you twitching. you want my finger right here?

fuck, yeah. right there. just like that, baby -- please don't fuckin' stop.

and once you got good at it (and you got so fucking good at it), ellie couldn’t get enough. she jokes, regularly, that that’s one of the reasons why she’s going to marry you.

ellie's voice in the mornings would breathless and empty. all bostonian accent, rasp, and nothing else. they were vulnerable. whenever she'd let you between her thighs and you placed those kitten licks across her clit transitioning into these longer, learned drags, her moans would break, like glass. her hips would shuffle. sometimes, you’d have to hold her still.

no no, fucking running. it’s okay. just let me. can you let me? can you let me take care of you, baby?

fuck. yes. yes, yes, fuck. s— sorry just – oh, fuck.

it would mostly just be wake-me-ups. but ellie's back would always be arching by the middle of it. she'd find herself gasping, and sighing, and fucking -- against your tongue, against your finger -- and gripping onto whatever, all while mumbling to gods she didn't believe in.

that feels so, so so fucking – g–good.

so fucking good to me; feels so good, babe, thinki'mgonnacum–

ellie's orgasms hit her the same way every time. hard. ridiculously hard. leaving her breathing heavy, and screwing her eyes shut while she grasped at your hand, or your hair. her thighs would tense -- sometimes scramble -- and then collapse, after a while. she became this perfect amalgamation of tinted cheeks, chapped pink lips, messy brown hair, and sticky skin.

she was such a fucking .. painting. she's so incredible.

the plan, as she wrote it, often was to immediately get out of bed after you made her cum. but oftentimes, she couldn't do anything for the first couple of minutes except lie there, body just a sack of bones and jello. her head would rest instead of pressing into yours, or would nuzzle its way deep into your neck. both occasions a precursor to her finally catching her breath. when she moves her head to kiss you, capturing your lips in something thankful, and sweet, it is almost always grounding for the both of you.

better?

so much better. holy shit, babe.

and that's not to say that ellie would never act on her desires. she was always just a little more calculated.

for ellie, her frustrations would creep up on her in the weirdest ways. it would be.. small things. things that were, actually, probably mutual. watching you wash the dishes, even when you’re not bent in a particularly promiscuous way. watching you cook, even when she wasn't really watching you, 'cause she was keeping the baby busy. but what really did her in was watching how you handled your son. something about seeing you have him on your hip, cooing at him or laughing with him, or playing with him, or smothering his cheek in big kisses that elicited these big, big giggles from him, drove her.. a very, questionable? kind of crazy? it was pure. it was so sweet, and most of the time, it was just that. but you were so, good with him. after so many months, despite all of the struggle, you really did blossom into a beautiful, capable mother, who still held the glow and all of the weight from the pregnancy and just–

ellie would realize how good it all looked on you. she would feel.. really proud.

and it made her feel like you .. deserved something.

you both remember the first night she’d acted on her desires like it was yesterday. it was on the night that you two had hosted a dinner party for all of your mutual close friends and people who you called family. the dinner was a 3-week-long process of grocery picking, tablecloth finding, invitation designing, and recipe collecting. it honestly stressed you out more than it did ellie because, to be honest, she was kind of just there for moral support. it was your idea, after having had maria over for dinner once. and it was a great idea. but it left you drained – defeated from the final week of preparations, which was especially hectic. when you bathed that night, you bathed alone, a little overstimulated from the day. but you’d let ellie run the bath, though. only because she insisted on doing so.

the soak cured some of the ache that settled deep into your joints, muscles, and bones.. but not all of it. after you'd set the tub to drain, brushed your teeth, and wrapped a towel around your body, you entered the room with an expected level of silence. you slathered moisturizer on your face, over your arms, over your stretch marks. when it came time to take off your jewlery, the rings – except the prized one – came off easily. but when it came to your necklace, your hands were simply too slippery. you sucked your teeth. you always did this.

you eventually sighed, filling your lungs to call:

hey, bug. can you come help me take this necklace off, please?

ellie eventually would appear behind you, probably shuffling off of the bed or rounding some corner after changing and becoming into her own definition of comfortable. if she seriously complained, you didn’t hear it. you only felt her, how her hand placed itself on your shoulder just to let you know that she was behind you.

some things never change, move your hair over.

you do as asked, and hang your head. ellie's fingers brush against your skin with a kind of delicacy that makes shivers run down your spine. you lift your eyes, catching ellie's in the mirror before you. yours, heavier than hers.

you watched as she fought a smile, or a smirk. either was a given with her, honestly — in retrospect, it was most likely the latter. you couldn’t really tell, though. she’d dipped her head, eyes fixated on her fingers that fiddled with your necklace clasp.

you did a really nice job on the dinner, tonight.

suddenly, you were the one fighting the smile. you watched her, still.

yeah?

oh, you like.. completely knocked it out of the park. you did great. it was really, really really nice.

you didnt know if ellie was referring to the food, or the setup, or the wine choices – whichever. but something about the appraisal made your head buzz, like you were coming down off a two glasses of champagne (which.. maybe you were). ellie successfully removed your necklace, and yet didn’t back away. instead, she pressed herself closer to your back, and tilted her head so that she could speak just above the top of your ear,

you looked really nice, too.

been waiting for you to settle down, a bit. so i could tell you.

you probably hummed something in response, something that was probably suggestive but also thankful at the same time. it gets lost, though. because ellie bent down, and placed these slow, unassuming, appreciative kisses down your neck, and against the plateau of your shoulder. between those words and the way her hands lingered over your skin, the way she was breathing you in and drinking up the moment, and your scent, made you melt into her way too easily. like butter in a warm pan.

you exhale, like you've been meaning to for .. you don't even know how long.

el..

mhm?

you realize though, that the house is quiet. too quiet. there is a stillness to it that makes the pit of your stomach twist, and anxiety and guilt bubble in the base of it before you could even stop it.

...where's our baby?

you felt ellie grin against your shoulder. she masked it with a peck,

he’s at joel’s.

and then you felt her tongue drag across your skin. a long, open-mouthed kiss across the midpoint of your neck. she presses the padding of her tongue against tender flesh, sucks hard enough for blood to make the skin bloom, and almost -- against your own will -- makes your eyes roll shut.

the simple act -- acts rather, of ellie coordinating behind your back to have the baby taken off your hands (you knew it for a few days – it's always a few days). she thought she was so slick. it was odd, how much relief those three words gave you,

but at the same time, you kind of wanted to be mad at her.

it was hard to, though. but you couldn't think straight, with how her hands were moving over you, over your towel. with her pelvis pressed against your ass, and her lips on your neck.

you tried,

he was fine here. everything was .. fine, ellie.

but she was so..

i never said everything wasn't fine.

i just think... you've had a really long, stressful week.

you hate how your body reacts to ellie's hands smoothing up your towel. your whole body broke out into goosebumps, seemingly trying to fit into the pores of ellie's palm,

and i think i wanna make it better.

ellie's breath was hot on your ear, and you didn’t realize it, but your head was already tilted. your eyes had begun to flutter closed. you felt yourself, almost swaying against her. your mouth hung as her teeth grazed over sensitive flesh. her tongue pressed against familiar spots that had been untouched -- like the rest of you -- for so, so long. it was too activating.

in your best effort of defense, you spun yourself to turn around to face her. ellie’s head was tilted, her eyes were low. her breath spanned over your mouth while your palm laid flat against her chest. you stalled – shivering, shaking, suddenly caught in a rapture of toiling emotion that you hadn't felt that strongly in .. god knows how long.

her head dipped back into your neck. she pressed her cotton-clad hips against your towel-covered ones, and it just wasn’t enough. it was a lot, and yet, not enough.

your hand snaked over the nape of her neck as you breathed against your cheek, whole body feeling heavy and compliant. your knees were jelly. you could feel your clit. pulsing, and pleading. it ached as you feel ellie's hand slip over the backs of your thighs, inching under the cusps of your ass.

you needed something. you needed anything. you like to think that you had no idea what necessity meant before this moment, because you had never felt it so strongly. it knocked the wind out of you, only leading you to ask – to plead, without pleading,

e... ellie?

and she understood.

ellie’s head lifted from the crook of your neck she crashed her lips upon yours. the kiss was heavy, and deep. your knees buckled, and where you swore you may fall, she made sure you didn’t. you were shuddering, a hand suddenly possessive around the back her neck. her hands suddenly possessive and stabilizing with the grips she held on your ass. months worth of unknown tension relinquished itself in the pushes and pulls you demanded from each other's bodies while teeth clattered and bit into chapped flesh, turned glossy. moans and breaths circumvented between the two of you, and suddenly, the whole room felt like it was on fire.

she delivered a verbal command, teeth tugging at your lower lip as she half-way parted from it,

jump.

you’d used whatever remainder of your energy to follow the simple instruction, your legs wrapping around ellie's waist like she was your lifeline. they remained around her as your back fell against the duvet, and as she kissed you so deep, your head ran dizzy and your body was left no choice but to arch into her.

you remember your hand smoothing over her abdomen, and reaching up to grab her chest. you remember sighing into her mouth over the fact that you could. you relished in the moan she released your mouth, and only returned it halfway.

you remember gripping her and massaging her and bucking your bare hips up against her in hopes of making her make that noise again, louder. you remember how she bucked her hips into you in hopes of the same sentiment, her waistband grazing against your bair clit cauisng her to succeed far quicker than you.

the night was filled with mind-blurring, fuck-until-the-sun-rises kind of sex. sex that you had no idea your body had needed until ellie had given it to you. your body reeled with every kiss that she'd placed over your skin – you’d watched as she peeled back your towel, and replaced bits and segments of the fabric with her lips in soft, attentive kisses. it was hard to believe that they would transpire into messy, sloppy things. wet, tantilizing things that would trek down the axis of your body. that would hold your body hostage as her tongue and her lips worked on your clit to bring you closer and closer to your third orgasm of the hour.

your body wasn’t used to it. any of it. it was, however, too used to and hyperaware of having a tiny human in the house that you simply couldn’t wake at this time of night.

you were shuffling, at one point, scrambling to put a hand on your mouth, or to bite your own knuckle. when that didn’t work, you let your head fall over to a pillow while you fucked up against ellie’s tongue and bit the fabric, trying so hard not to moan. but you felt yourself cracking.

you’ll never forget how ellie looked up at you. eyes a deep, pointed shade of green as she shook her head – mouth still attached to your clit – which in and of itself had almost made you cry. when she pulled away, it was the only time you let yourself make a noise. only because the whine that was ripped out of you was entirely unanticipated, just like her action.

her breath rippled over your the nerves as she ran her fingertip up, and down your hole. you whimpered, hips shifting up relfexivley, cunt tightening just from the invitation. nearly gushing from the feeling of her beginning to small rub circles against it, instead.

i’ve missed you so fucking much.

she dipped a finger inside of you with such ease, and no warning. a long, slender digit bottomed out inside your cunt, before she pushed in another, and made your jaw go slack. her eyes hung on yours – glossed over with lust and a bit narrow as a result of the devious smile that’d begun to overtake her expression.

she’d begun pumping her fingers.

he’s not here, baby.

it’s just us.

her fingers were so fucking long, you swore to god, you would never want a life without them in it. couldn’t bear another 3, 4, 5 months without having them in you. jesus fuck.

wanna hear you.

wanna hear you be as loud as you fuckin’ want.

ellie emphasized her words by proceeding to fuck you faster. her tongue latched back onto your clit, rolling over and slurping at the nerves, rolling beads of saliva and your juices into and against the bundle. the sound of your cunt was so encompassing, it was hard to believe that it became the backdrop for the moans that ellie had ripped out of you. that made it into, and mostly out of, the pillow, amidst a sea of praise and bucking hips.

the next morning was luxuriuosly unproductive. ellie had only woke to feed the animals and returned to bed and slept with you until noon. she was always affectionate, come mornings. but especially riding off of the honeymoon buzz of the night prior, she made the morning after memorably tender, often pressing kisses to your forehead, and your shoulder, regardless of how awake both you or she was. she’d whisper sweet nothings into your ear, promises of how much she loved you. how she’s really glad this is how she gets to spend her life, as long as it’s with you. all of the sugary things that eventually caramelize into jokes and giggles and laughter, and that how you’d know it was time to get up.

it’s safe to say that parenthood brought you and ellie both very interesting things. it brought you challenges, and it brought you lows. it brought you highs, and photographs, and moments where you did feel like all of your hard-work was paying off, even when it didn’t seem that way. having a family meant having the opportunity to open your house up to people you who you loved. having a family meant having traditions, and things to fall back on – things that you would develop over time, as you learned more and discovered more of what you wanted. and having a family with ellie meant that you could fall back on each other, no matter how tough things got.

.. it also just meant sometimes having really.. really good sex.

(whenever you remembered that that was something that the two of you could actually do, that is.)

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #the last of us #ellie williams smut #joel miller #the last of us smut #literally no one asked for this i just needed this #it's pretty valid i guess #i always notice its so easy to just write thoughts that come to my mind as opposed to like Hovering over one idea for like 2 months #idk that's wild #i feel like i have texts that are literally just written a lot prettier but like #i like the vibe setup #i just can’t reread it anymore or else i get really like critical and for good reason but bleh #actually no (10am mia speaking)#this is probably like fine im gonna give myself the benefit of the doubt #i Finished it which was Good i'm gonna pat myself on the back #good job mia!!!!!

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idyllic-affections · 11 months

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What if Kaveh's child became a talented sculptor/painter like in their teens? Say like 15 or so? Idk. That second part got me thinking so much abt them just tugging Kaveh by the arm to their next project like "OMG YOURE GONNA LOVE THIS ONE IM SO PROUD OF IT SPGUEJGEJLVWLHELHEJ"

artistic inclination.

summary. what if kaveh's child was artistically inclined?

trigger & content warnings. none applicable.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. adoptive dad!kaveh & reader. 0.5k words. they/them pronouns used for reader. this post is an expansion of what if kaveh adopted a child? author's thoughts. GOD YOURE SO RIGHT ANON I LOVE THIS IDEA ITS SO CUTE..... guys. i BEG of you. please send me asks like this. i adore when this happens. getting asks about any of my ongoing series is an absolute delight. requests are always always always welcome, but this kind of ask? this kind of ask is my favorite type fr <3

kaveh's kid does absolutely end up being good with their hands, whether that's because of the time they spent with the forest rangers or simply because they lean in favor of artistic hobbies, and kaveh himself? he is overjoyed. the fact that [name], his [name], seems to have some inherent inclination towards the arts... archons. he loves that about them. it's like they were always meant to be his child.

he loves that his kid's first instinct is to run to him when they have a sort of creative breakthrough. he loves that their first instinct is to tug him by the arm and show him what they've made, even if there's still wet paint or clay on their hands because really, it's just a shirt. it can be washed. stains are just stains. he honestly understands on a very personal level; he gets paint all over himself, too. things happen.

it's worth it in the end, because he just loves them so dearly. their joy is his joy. their sorrow is his sorrow. their feelings are his. he resonates so deeply with the emotions of everyone around him, so you had better believe that his empathy increases tenfold for his own kid. he feels their feelings as if they were his own.

he understands their joy beyond the influence of his empathy, though. as an artist himself... he's so unbelievably honored that their first instinct is to share their work with him.

art is like a little window inside the artist's mind. the things they create give their father a deeper understanding of who they are, how they think, how they feel, why they think and feel that way. an artist sharing their work is an earnest display of vulnerability.

kaveh is so enamored with the way they are so willing, so eager to be vulnerable with him in such a sensitive way, especially in their teen years. he's heard a lot of things about raising teens; teens are supposed to be... difficult, aren't they? however, [name] just isn't difficult in the slightest.

...

well, children tend to be a reflection of the parent(s) they are raised by. [name] can be sassy and sarcastic, courtesy of tighnari and alhaitham's influence, but... they aren't difficult. they are kind and emotionally aware and warm and gentle.

overall, kaveh and his little co-parenting friend group did very well raising [name].

"baba, come look! i finished that project i was telling you about. it took me a while, but i finally did it!"

this happens multiple times on many different occasions, but kaveh's reaction never becomes any less enthusiastic. it doesn't matter what may be occupying his mind at that moment. he treasures their openness and could never so much as imagine disregarding their joy in moments like that. he always replies with a smile, wiping away a little bit of semi-wet paint that somehow ended up on their cheek.

kaveh only ends up smearing it more, but the gesture is sweet and appreciated nonetheless.

"ah, really?! i'm so proud of you. i know it can be hard sometimes. let me see what you've made this time."

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

#aphelion brainrots 🌸#: [ adoptive dad kaveh! 🌸 ]#favoniuslibrary #astronetwrk #platonic genshin impact x reader #platonic genshin #platonic genshin impact #platonic genshin x reader #kaveh x reader #platonic kaveh x reader

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altschmerzes · 9 months

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hey saw ur comment on the man city fix it fic ab Jamie’s fathers death & was wondering what u disliked ab the Jamie’s mum and Simon part? not judging or anything im just curious!!

yeaaaaaaah so! from what ive seen at least this is a not particularly common opinion which is fine, im aware i have some particular biases and priorities and whatnot in this area, but it just… i didnt like that stuff at all. it really put me off actually, for a couple reasons. i'll get into why, but i know a lot of people like Really Loved that stuff and especially his mom - and it also gets a little down on season 3 and the writing team as a whole at some points lmao - so i'll put it under a cut.

(this got. very long. im so sorry.)

it basically boils down to a couple things: 1. what they presented us with doesn't hold water if poked literally at all in any direction, 2. it made me feel a little uncomfortable given the way everything else in jamie's arc played out, and 3. if they were going to do something like this, they needed WAY more time and narrative space to execute it well in general and specifically for ME to execute it in a way that didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth.

there are a few things that i generally dread when you have a character who's presented to have some serious trauma related to their family and specifically to an abusive parent, and one of those things is the sudden inclusion of another parent in there who is just. everything is totally fine and normal and happy and not at all complicated with them! it always makes me feel weird and bad when that happens, especially when there is no explanation provided for how that like. fits in with the abuse we know they experienced as well. that is a matter of personal preference, and i can own that. i just don't like it, and it makes me feel weird and uneasy. and that's part of it here, but what's also part of it is that i think that - my personal feelings about this type of character choice overall aside - they did not execute it well given the story they'd already presented us with, the way they used these new characters, and how much time they spent on it.

the image they presented of jamie's mom and stepdad is like… very simple and positive and shiny and uncomplicated. it's just good. they just love and support him and are a positive and affectionate active presence. and that might seem like an unfair characterization of it because we saw very little and we know very little of what their relationship is actually like - we don't know what might be complicated, what might be messy, how often they talk, etc - but that’s honestly part of my issue here. we were given a sliver of a glimpse into jamie's mom and his relationship with her and his stepdad when jamie as a character is someone who is hugely defined by his family history and the baggage and trauma and danger associated with it. if they were going to do this, they needed to spend way more time on it. they needed to introduce her earlier, do something to make it jive with what we were already presented about her: some vague mentions, half of which were in past tense, and all of which seemed to imply very strongly that if she were alive (which there was a lot of confusion about!) then they were likely to some degree estranged, because it seemed pretty clear with the 'i don't know if she would be [proud] lately' bit that he literally did not know what she thought of him in recent years. and like. it seems like i'm nitpicking, but again, this is a character who has been so strongly based in and defined by his family and the like. past and current danger and trauma associated with it.

especially given how little time or attention was given to everything else with his family, it was just way too late in the game to introduce these characters and be able to do them and their relationship with the existing characters justice. like you’ve already got a complicated story you’re skipping most of and not giving its due do you really need to add more really complicated stuff in there. and then just go actually it's not complicated don't worry about it :) like. that just doesn't work for me.

so that's where i'm at like, not only do i inherently dislike this sort of element introduced with this type of character, which is a me problem, i also think the story they presented in that episode with his mom and simon just flat out didn't make sense and they did not have the time to make it make sense even if they'd tried, which they didn't. like... if things are just fine and normal and easy with them and she’s just great and loving and supportive it’s like i. So What Happened, Then.

it makes his entire arc make less sense. if she's just Been Here what happened? why did he need to be reminded that not EVERYONE in his life was out to get him? why did keeley have to tell him to stop battling everyone that was just trying to help him? why is he so isolated and adrift at the beginning of season two? why did she never attend a single match? why did we never see him text or call or mention her in a contemporary way? like there COULD be answers to those things that make sense with what they presented, but we didn't get any of those answers and those are big questions to me given they comprise like... all of jamie's character arc lmao. at the end of the day, throwing in the stuff with his mom feels... really disrespectful to the story they wrote with him (that they already fell down on the job with) to just throw that in there with no consideration or attention paid to how it fits with or impacts anything already established.

i truly don't think that every question needs to be answered in a story. i am not saying that. i'm not saying someone needed to turn to the audience and go here's the logistic details of exactly how and when everything that happened with jamie and his parents happened. but there are some serious issues with like, telling a coherent story, and utilizing the extremely limited narrative space that a secondary character in an ensemble show can be afforded. (especially when in season three it really felt like they were already racing through characters and plot lines and backstory stuff like the goal was to just drop info just to Have It and then never address or do anything with it at all.) why did they do that, is what i keep going back to. you're telling a story with very limited space and a lot of characters. so what was the reason for that stuff to be there? so that someone could lay the 'yea he was a dick but he made you into this person! you're so strong now!' foundation for ted telling jamie to forgive his dad and 'disappointed teacher face' him into saying 'thank you' after the 'fuck you'? or was it just fanservice that you didn't think needed to fit with the rest of the story narratively or thematically? because that's where i keep going back to as well.

it just... and this is the bitchier, more spiteful part of me saying this, the part that was PROFOUNDLY let down by the way they handled the aspects of jamie's arc to do with his family and with the abuse he suffered, but it feels like an attempt to use happy sparkly fanservice-y funny and feel-good scenes with his adorable mom and sweet stepdad to like. pull way back on the rest of his whole situation with his family like see no he’s fine! isn’t it great how funny and adorable his mom is! isnt his stepdad fun! everything is fine actually things with his dad are just ~complicated because james drinks :) (and then all he needs to do about that is grow up and forgive, he's just a melodramatic mama's boy, the pain is his fault and he'll be fine once he Forgives, and rehab fixes everything). i don't have some kind of conspiracy that this was their actual reasoning but that's how it hit to me - whoops we don't actually want to deal with the abuse so we're gonna sweep it way under the couch and look! see! here's his cute fun mom isn't she great! (He's Fine Don't Worry About It, His Family Is Actually Sooooo Supportive!)

but yeah that's the bitchy and unfair part of me so. that's not really my main point.

(i also gotta say everything about that sequence with jamie and company at his mom's house feels like... tissue paper thin and very fucking weird from both a narrative and a logistical point of view. the stuff with the actual people of his mom and stepdad aside, what the hell was up with his room? what was that poster of keeley doing there. when did that go up. how old was he when he put it there. yeah she's older than him by a fair bit but not THAT much older. and if he was putting it up as like, a teenager or something, why is the rest of that room decorated for a seven year old. parents preserve their kids rooms like shrines this is true but the idea of a like, jamie in his mid/late teens or whatever putting that poster of keeley up but also sleeping in a little kid's bed still is like... did you think about this at all. it really does not seem like you did. At All. it just goes to my spiteful fringe theory about that whole sequence which is “oh this is pure 100% gratuitous backpatting fanservice that nobody actually thought about in any real way whatsoever”)

sorry this got so long but i have a lot of thoughts on this and they get kicked up every time i see posts gushing about how much people loved georgie or those scenes or whatnot like everyone is of course entitled to their opinion and i don't hold it against anyone! but that stuff hit way different for me and just added insult to injury in an episode that generally seemed to handle jamie and his situation in a way i found cringeworthy and weird at best and offensive and victim blaming at worst.

#gav gab #gav answers #ted lasso spoilers #abuse cw #long post #augh. anyways. if you disagree with me on this you don't really need to tell me so i know most of the fandom like #loved that stuff #and please dont yell at me (general request)#just giving some thoughts as they were Asked For #and i appreciate you asking anon!! i like talking about my thoughts and opinions on stuff #even if it makes me nervous lmao

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cptindanvers · 2 years

Text

as this season ends [you pt. 2]

summary: you get over what you can’t fix. but bandaids can’t stitch things back to how they were.

pairing: steve harrington x reader

notes: big ANGST!! hurt/comfort, a lot of relationship building & slow burn. slightly canon-divergent for the ~drama~

word count: 3.7k!! buckle in buds

a/n: WOOOOOO it’s been a while!! this part is really different from the first one but im very proud of both of them (you pt1 is one of my fav fics ive written) but my writing style has changed a lot and i really hope this part doesnt bore anyone,, im a fan of longer works and am really happy with how this part turned out :)

buy me a kofi!

read part 1 here! / masterlist

Autumn had taken longer to come this year. The sticky summer heat slowly dissipated as the leaves turned brown and the temperature dropped steadily. Cool air greeted you every time you stepped outside; the pre-winter chill was beginning to teeter on uncomfortable, rippling wind bringing back painful memories.

For the first time in a long time, things were comfortable - as much as they could be. The ache in your heart subsided as the months grew on, and you accepted the relationship between Steve and Nancy.

Honestly, you had forced yourself to push down any negative emotions you most certainly felt - seeing the way Steve and Nancy looked at each other felt like a pat on the back and a punch in the face all at once. They were clearly happy together; that was all you wanted for your friends, right? Plus, Steve had changed, so much. Some nights you wished you were the one who could’ve brought that change. You wished you were good enough to make him want to be better.

But you didn’t let it hurt you anymore.

You were more than content with your relationships now - Steve and Nancy were still kept at an arm’s length away; though you didn’t think they even noticed with how absorbed they were in each other. Your place in the Byers household grew tremendously, considering you barely even glanced at Jonathan Byers before… everything.

A routine formed a few weeks after the nightmares began - the bags under your eyes and a slip in conversation gave you away to Jonathan. Neither of you could sleep soundly; memories of the monster that had hunted your loved ones always in the back of your head.

You hung out at the Byers’ more and more - you spent the night more often than not, your place at the breakfast table established long ago. You and Jonathan took turns driving to school, splitting to your respective classes and later finding each other in the parking lot for lunch; sometimes you ate in a comfortable silence, sometimes you’d listen to music accompanied by light conversation and bubbly laughter. Whatever it was, you two were inseparable.

The two of you were a sight - former Steve Harrington conquest with freak Jonathan Byers, previously rumored to have killed his brother? There were dozens of whispers and rumors surrounding you everywhere you went.

The grand decline of your social standing didn’t really faze you; you’d only had a place in the Hawkins High social pyramid by association with Steve, and you’d really rather be called a waste of a pretty face behind your back than deal with Steve and Company again.

When that last bell rang, you were the first one out of your class. Leaning by Jonathan’s locker as eager kids pushed past, you’d wait for him to reach you from his class on the opposite side of school. That car ride home was always your favorite part of the day, windows down and worry momentarily escaping you.

Though, the anxiety never held off for long.

Everything that happened last year would stick with you for the rest of your life; that much was clear early on. You hadn’t realized the extent of how deeply it all haunted you until you realized how small your circle had become. Circumstances aside, deeper relationships were limited to the people who’d gone through last year’s events with you. Which led to a more careful watch over everyone, especially the kids.

A protectiveness over Will had started since he’d gone missing, and had slowly spread to each member of the party - much to their annoyance. Despite your overprotective tendencies, you’d always ended up winning the kids over with snacks or toys, to which they’d declare how you were their favorite older teen and their beloved Paladin, whatever that meant. (You’d really tried to sit with them and understand their game, considering the monster you’d fought last year was straight out of it - but the entire thing made your head spin.)

Now, Halloween was coming up and you could feel the excitement radiating off the boys as they discussed their plans for Ghostbuster costumes. You could see the worry in Joyce’s eyes when Will hinted towards the group’s plans to trick-or-treat; it was easy to spot when you shared the same concerns. You trusted Will and the boys, but anything could happen. Though, as Joyce slowly but surely warmed up to the idea, you couldn’t help but share Will’s excitement for the greatest night of the year.

Things were comfortable - as much as they could’ve possibly been. Then, suddenly and painfully, that thin blanket of normalcy was ripped to shreds.

⁂

It was up to you and Jonathan to chaperone the kids tonight, but god. This headache was killing you and there was no way you’d be able to handle screaming kids all night. After an eternity of pleading and reassurance, you were snuggled on your couch, relishing the silence around you. It didn’t take very long for you to drift off, dreamless sleep taking over. You didn’t mind; it was the best case scenario nowadays.

A harsh knock at the door startled you awake, heart rate increasing as your throat tightened with worry. Anxious, unreasonable thoughts flooded your brain as you waited for any confirmation that the sound was conjured by your own disheveled mind, jumpy and paranoid.

A second knock at the door, weaker than the other, led you to the door in an instant. You could barely make anything out through the small peephole in the dark. You took a deep breath before opening the door with one good pull, your brain taking a while to catch up when you realized the figure you saw was walking away before turning towards you in surprise. The reasonable idea that it was Halloween night with tons of kids running around suddenly made its way into your brain.

But the figure on your porch was entirely too tall and alone to be kids trick-or-treating.

Your brain came to a stop when you realized who that figure was, squinting in the dim light to make sure you weren’t officially losing it.

“Steve?”

Steve looked like a deer in headlights, perfectly still as he tried to make sense of the emotions on your face.

“Sorry,” was all he could say as he turned away from you, guilt mixed with something else.

He shouldn’t have come here. He had no right to do this to you, to seek out your comfort when he’d hurt you so badly before.

“Steve,” your voice came out softer than you’d expected, gentle and warm. “It’s okay.”

With a few unconscious steps taken forward, Steve was wrapped up in your arms, arms tight against you as his body shook.

“It’s okay.” You repeated, rubbing circles into his back as you felt silent tears stain your shoulder.

Steve hadn’t told you what happened, but that terrible, sinking feeling in your chest and with his broken sobs were enough for you to invite Steve inside and out of the chilly autumn air.

Leading him to the couch and wrapping the blanket you were under only thirty minutes ago, you sat next to Steve in silence; hands over his in comfort as he collected himself.

“Nancy…” he started, voice breaking.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.” You didn’t really want to know. You were treading on a thin line of friendly and actually friends with Steve. One wrong move would crush the wall you’d spent so long building. All the distance you kept wouldn’t have been for nothing if you never let Steve get too close.

What if you fell in love with him again?

“I think she broke up with me.” Steve’s voice was quiet, but the pain in his voice was evident. It was the same pain you heard when he talked about his parents, or his future, or anything he used to share with you in a hushed voice. All those talks that’d end with a kiss and a promise that you’d find a way to fix things, together.

“Oh, Steve.” You squeezed his hands harder, hoping the motion would ground him, if nothing else. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s what I deserve, right?” Steve laughed humorlessly, hesitantly pulling his hands away from yours.

“What? No, it’s not-”

“Enough with that... bullshit.” Steve shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “We hurt you. I hurt you. It’s karma.”

“Steve. You don’t deserve this.”

“You’re right. I don’t deserve you.” Steve pulled back, looking anywhere but you. “I shouldn’t be here.”

“Steve!” You were frustrated now, exasperated that Steve’s name was seemingly the only thing you were able to say. You knew he always felt bad about what he did but…

“I forgave you. Both of you.” You said as soothingly as you could. Your mind was a mess; the hurt mixing with sympathy as Steve spilled his heart out. You still cared about Steve, even through your messy breakup. Maybe that was a mistake. It would’ve been a lot easier for you to hate Steve and Nancy, but you couldn’t. They were good people, underneath everything. One mistake didn’t have to dictate the rest of their lives.

“Yeah, I didn’t deserve that either.” Steve laughed bitterly.

“I don’t think it’s very fair for you to decide what you deserve or not. That was my choice. Take it or leave it.” You didn’t mean to snap. An uncomfortable silence hung around the two of you as your words settled in.

“You still deserve to be happy, Steve.” Even if it’s not with me.

Steve turned to look at you, really look at you. He hadn’t done that in a while. You picked at the hem of your plain t-shirt, pajama clad legs crossed over each other. Your eyes were puffy with dark circles he’d never noticed before. How long had they been there?

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but nothing seemed to form. No words, no thoughts. How had you loved him when you were selfless and he was so selfish?

Your landline rung, saving Steve from having to break the silence. He clutched onto the blanket tighter, averting his eyes as you got up to answer.

“Hello?” You were expecting Jonathan to answer on the other end, letting you know that the kids were home safe. He knew how much you worried.

“Hey sweetie, sorry to call so late. Mike and Will are here and really, it’s no problem if Will stays for a while! But Dustin and Lucas didn’t come by, so-

"I’m so sorry, Mrs. Wheeler, I’ll be right there.” Where the hell was Jonathan?

“It’s really not a problem! No one at the Byers’ was picking up, so I just got a little worried. I know you’re really close with them.”

“Yeah.” You nodded, not realizing Mrs. Wheeler couldn’t see you. “I’ll be right there.”

You hung up abruptly, cutting off whatever Mrs. Wheeler was saying.

A new wave of worry washed over as you wondered where Jonathan had gone. Had something happened to Will that made him go to Mike’s so early into the night? Why weren’t the others with them?

You turned around and were hit with guilt. You’d completely forgotten Steve was there. He was standing now, attempting to neatly fold the blanket he’d been using.

“I should go.” He stated, full attention on smoothing the stubborn folds of the stupid blanket.

“You don’t have to.” You said, a little too quickly for your own liking. Steve looked away from the blanket for a second, glancing nervously at the sincerity in your eyes.

“You shouldn’t be alone right now.” You said sincerely.

So Steve let himself believe you.

“When’d you get a car?” Steve asked, inspecting the decorations as the two of you climbed in.

You shrugged. “A while ago.”

⁂

The rest of the ride was quiet, music from the radio playing lowly in the background. Occasionally, Steve would mutter more about what happened between him and Nancy, and you’d give him all the reassurance he needed. She was just drunk or, she really cares about you, y’ know? But the small smile on Steve’s face never seemed to reach his eyes.

You hadn’t realized how terrible of a situation it was until you knocked on Mrs. Wheeler’s door and she opened up with a bright small, albeit a little surprised to see Steve.

Shit. How could you be so stupid, bringing Steve to Nancy’s house?

“Basement?” You said abruptly, not realizing you cut off the conversation Mrs. Wheeler was having with Steve.

“Oh, yes-”

“Thanks.” You’d apologize for your rude behavior later.

You knew realistically, Will was fine, but that itching feeling in your chest wouldn’t go away, anxiety mixing with nerves to get Steve out of there.

It’d been a while since you’d been inside the Wheeler house, taking a second to process where you were going in your frazzled state. You turned a corner too quickly and consequently almost crashed into someone.

Your name left Jonathan’s lips as his left yours, both tones confused. Jonathan’s concern only grew when he glanced at Steve behind you.

“Are you here for Will?” You asked, searching for answers on Jonathan’s face.

“Will’s here?”

You could only gape at Jonathan in disbelief, your headache coming back as you rubbed your face with your hands in frustration.

“You-!” Rage consumed you but you bit your words back, knowing you’d say something you’d regret. “Yes, he’s here,” you managed to get out between grit teeth.

“Did something happen?”

“How am I supposed to know? You were supposed to be with him tonight.” The guilt in Jonathan’s eyes was enough for you to regret your words instantly. Moving past Jonathan, you opened the door to the basement before you could make things worse, clamoring down the stairs in a hurry.

Will and Mike were sitting on the couch side by side, in deep discussion that was clearly not meant to be overheard, evident by the way their heads snapped at the sudden noise. Were they hiding something?

They greeted you instantly, confused by the two boys that followed your lead, especially Steve. But they’d heard how your angry voice carried and decided against poking at the subject.

“You guys have fun?” You asked with a smile, a complete 180 from your brief conversation with Jonathan.

As if it wasn’t obvious, the boys glanced at each other before delivering stiff smiles. “Uh.. yeah.” Mike coughed.

Definitely hiding something.

“Are we going home now?” Will stood up abruptly. That was the nail in the coffin - Will was never eager to leave his friends.

“Yeah, but I won’t be staying over tonight. Sorry, bud.” You smiled softly at Will, hand on his shoulder as you guided him up the stairs.

“Goodnight, Mike!” You called down. “Brush your teeth or they’ll all fall out!”

“Shut up!”

⁂

You let Will and Steve jump into Jonathan’s and your cars, respectively, before you pulled Jonathan aside.

“Where the hell were you? Why weren’t you with the kids?”

“I let them go by themselves for a while.” Jonathan shrugged.

“What was more important than them? Than Will?”

“Don’t do that. Nothing’s more important than Will.” Jonathan scoffed. “I just went to a party-”

“A party? Since when do you abandon Will to go to fucking parties?”

“I didn’t abandon him!” Jonathan ran a frustrated hand through his hair in an attempt to recollect himself. “You know, you have to stop treating him like he’s five eventually.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was the devil for worrying. You weren’t there because you decided to go to some stupid party and something happened-”

“Something happened?”

It was your turn to scoff.

“Are you fucking kidding? It’s obvious-”

“Oh, so you know Will better than I do now?” Jonathan knew he was being completely unreasonable now, but he couldn’t help the words spilling out of his mouth.

You turned back to your car, headache hammering through your skull.

“Call me when you find out what happened.”

“Yeah, go back home with Steve. What the fuck is up with that, anyway!” Jonathan called after your retreating figure, wanting to kick himself instantly. He’d have a lot of apologizing to do later. But for now, he got into the car, waiting for Will to say something, anything about what happened. Was he really such a terrible brother not to notice anything wrong with Will? On the trip back home (including all the stalling Jonathan did to give Will extra opportunities), nothing left Will’s mouth other than a fake yawn and quick goodnight.

⁂

Your hands clutched your steering wheel angrily, knuckles noticeably white. You and Jonathan never argued. You knew it’d all turn out okay between you two, but he had serious explaining to do. And yet, his words kept replaying in your head.

You have to stop treating him like he’s five eventually.

You did not treat Will like a toddler! You treated him like he was a preteen, which he was! And he almost died last year, he wasn’t like every other kid!

You didn’t realize you’d voiced these thoughts aloud until Steve nodded. “I completely agree with you, but I think you were supposed to turn right a few blocks ago.”

“Shit,” you hissed, realizing you’d long passed your house. Pulling over, you smacked your head against your steering wheel. “Shit.” The sound of defeat was so strong, Steve couldn’t help but lean over to place a warm hand on your back.

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll just make a U-turn, there’s no one on this street anyway.”

You grumbled something incomprehensible against the wheel, and Steve knew it wasn’t just about the missed turn.

“Hey, it’s just trouble in paradise, right?” Completely ironic.

“We’re not dating.” You didn’t know why you felt the need to clarify that. “He’s like a brother to me. A completely annoying, totally idiotic brother.”

Steve just nodded, words repeating in his mind, hammering all the way to his chest. Or was just the beat of his heart?

If there was anything Steve remembered about you, it was how you hated being wrong. He also knew how deeply you cared for people, more than yourself sometimes. It was something he’d always loved about you; another painful reminder of how good you were towards him. Of how badly he’d ruined things.

“The worst part is he’s right. We’ve all been treating Will like… like he’s sick or something. He’s not allowed to go anywhere by himself. God, even school. I feel like I can’t breathe until I see him go inside. And he does, and I just sit there and wait. Like something’ll happen at any second. Like I could stop it if it did.” Admitting everything out loud… you felt so stupid. Stupid for Will, stupid for Steve. He’d come to you for comfort and here you were, making it all about you. How was Steve able to stand it? How could he stand you?

“I can drop you off, if you want.” You gestured weakly to the open road ahead of you.

“You shouldn’t be alone right now.” Steve smiled softly, patting your back.

How could he be so selfless when you were being so selfish?

⁂

You arrived back at your house and very awkwardly handed Steve some of his own clothes to sleep in. You’d kept them stored in a box in the bottom of your closet; too embarrassed to give them back but too hurt to wear them.

An argument about sleeping arrangements was cut short with Steve essentially pushing you onto your bed. However, he hadn’t anticipated that, startled by the movement, you’d reach out to grab the closest thing for stability; which happened to be Steve.

The proximity brought back bitter memories; you could see the same ones that haunted you reflecting in Steve’s eyes. And yet, both of you hesitated; reveling in the familiarity but knowing whatever you had, had been broken long ago.

“I should- Couch.” Steve sputtered out, tripping over himself to get off you.

“Yeah.” You mumbled softly. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Steve gently squeezed your hand. He stood there a while, then briskly left the room before he could do anything he’d regret.

⁂

One night was all it took for everything to crumble.

The dam broke, your defenses fell. Angry, hot tears fell out of your eyes as your fists clenched around your pillow, overwhelming pain in your heart and in your head.

Finding out about Steve and Nancy had been one of the worst pains of your entire life. Forgiveness had come easily to you after the fact; who were you to stop them from being together? You weren’t one to cling on to a hopeless relationship.

Though you supposed you never got a chance to process your hurt fully; it was one thing after another, and there were much bigger things for you to concern yourself with than an ex-relationship.

But Steve was with Nancy, that was a fact. Despite how terrible it was, it worked out for you in some ways. If Steve was unavailable, you couldn’t feel anything other than friendship for him. If Steve wasn’t around, you couldn’t desperately wish it was you in his arms rather than Nancy.

So, you told yourself it was okay. It didn’t hurt. Out of sight, out of mind.

But, now… there was the possibility that Steve was available for you to love again, and did you really want to subject yourself to that? But the Steve you knew before and the Steve you were seeing now weren’t lining up and it made your heart hurt and your head spin. Through all the counterarguments you presented to yourself, it all led you back to the original, unfixable issue.

Steve just didn’t love you anymore. Or maybe he never did in the first place.

Your feelings were all rushing back, crushing you with their weight. The feelings you’d willed away, pushed down until they were no longer acknowledged overflowed and exploded. One-sided attraction was bad enough, but it didn’t help that you were still painfully in love with someone who hurt you.

And you couldn’t help but wonder that maybe, if you’d met Steve post-Nancy-Wheeler, it all could’ve worked out; but it was too late for that.

It was much too late for what could’ve been.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things x reader #steve harrington x gn reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington angst #stranger things angst #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fanfic

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we-return-in-waves · 1 year

Note

Top 5 lines you’ve written in your fics?

oh my god this took me ages i was here agonising over my own writing like WHATS THE BEST?? also, i have discussed some favourite lines in an ao3 wrapped so i have deliberately exluded those from this list! under the cut <3

And when Gaara pulled off his clothes and kissed every scar on the damaged blunt instrument he called his body, love pouring luminous in the light of his shallow-sea eyes, Lee finally understood why someone would use the Eighth Gate even at the cost of their own life. - march of progress [succisa virescit (cut down, we grow back stronger)]

UNAPOLOGETICALLY THIS FUCKS also it's personally my favourite line of the lee chapter of mop by a mile. also, funny joke, but when i was putting this list together of all the contenders i realised that i used the word luminous in no less than four of them. i need more words

Gaara pressed himself closer in lieu of using his voice, which had, for the first time in his life, abandoned him entirely, placed his hands over Lee’s flaming cheeks, and kissed him. Kissed him like a man dying of thirst, kissed him like he was an oasis, kissed him the way sunlight kisses flowers at the first stroke of dawn and whispers to them, bloom for me. Kissed him and kissed him and kissed him. - Anthesis [Infructescence]

because how dare i write somethign so aesthetic into deranged paneenis honestly

Now, he’s on his back with his legs folded on either side of Lee’s torso, and Lee is sliding home and he feels so much bigger this way, braced over Gaara with his hair shining in the moonlight, and Gaara shuts his eyes in both bliss and fear that if he looks he won’t see himself, because he knows Lee was at Neji’s tombstone today and he usually doesn’t initiate like this, and if Gaara has to look up and know he is a placeholder for a dead man and then return home to Sunagakure in the morning his heart will cease to beat. - spoken words

i feel like there's a lot of lines in spoken words that absolutely slap way harder than they have any right to for a fic i wrote in less than six hours. but i especially love this one, because i said "ouch" OUT LOUD while writing it, dfjkghfk

The feeling is indescribable. It’s like the first sip of hot coffee on a winter morning, like the crescendo of instruments heralding the chorus of a beloved song. It’s like falling down stairs, it’s like winning a battle, it’s like the bone-deep relief of crossing the threshold of a place that feels like home. - an eight-fold tempo, an eight-letter heart

this was SO HARD could do just a top five lines ever just out of this fic alone i am so proud of it. i picked this one though for two reasons: the first, because i spent a long time thinking while writing the passage this is in thinking about what it feels like to fall in love for the first time, and i tried to channel all the emotions i remember: that blinding, heart-racing adrenaline spike of exhilaration mixed with vulnerability and fear of the unknown and the inexplicable feeling of safety and comfort that being with your loved one brings. and im just REALLY happy with how it came out. second, because this reads so melodically in my head and i just love how it sounds both in my head and read aloud. catch me podficcing my own fic lmaoo

Gaara looks up. Blinks those luminous eyes. The coppery filaments of his eyelashes shine white in the cold moonlight. Lee realises, with a start, that it is not simply the glow of healing jutsu or the light of the moon that illumine the flat seafoam irises, no, something behind his retinas reflects the faint light from deep within, a diamond of fluorescence, bright in the darkness. His pupils, normally invisible in the daylight, are slitted and animal. Lee wonders if this is a by-product of being born to host a tailed beast. If he can see in the dark. He looks inhuman. Surreal. Lee does not think he has ever seen anything so hypnotic. He cannot look away. - sing a song of sleeptide

argh i am just so pleased with how this reads to me, plus i loooove getting to make up some lore about gaara and the effects being a jinchuuriki might have had on him <3

thank you so much for the ask <333

#ask game #flow i lov u sm for this #nightingaleflow #fanfiction #writing gronp hours #ao3 #gaalee #<- since these are all glg fics lol

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mycolalia · 5 months

Text

when working on a very large fic i have to reread it fairly regularly because of the memory issues and trying to keep a chronology is hell for me and im still really proud of this exchange between Mosslark and Astarion:

They put the brush down, put their hands together in front of their face, and take a deep breath, clearly weighing every word with great care.

"Okay, yes, I, did not understand that was what you were...getting at." They say this in a rush, then take a deep breath to prepare the next arrow to launch at his sense of how the fucking world works and what he does within it. "It, didn't occur to me, given the time, and place, and venue, and-" They close their eyes, inhale again. Then they actively seek eye contact with him, and there is gentleness in those eyes that he cannot stand, that burns him on contact. "It...probably would not have even if we'd been in camp, honestly."

"Do you find me. Unappealing, then?" Asking that is like peeling off his own skin, exposing the meat of himself for their examination.

"It genuinely never occurred to me to even begin considering you that way-" Something must have changed in his expression, because they lunge forward, put their hand on the blanket beside his ankle, fervent. "-and, and. That is not a reflection of you not being. Appealing, I suppose, just. That I do not often feel such things. Or notice when I do."

This had never happened to him before.

Oh, certainly, not every target he selected over the years was interested, for a variety of reasons, but they made it very clear they had no use for him, and he would move on to the next.

He had no idea how to behave; how to sit; what expression he should be wearing; what they could possibly want from him if not that.

Why had they spent so much time with him? Why did they seek him out, day after day? What possible reason could they have for pursuing his companionship if not mutual understanding of how it would end?

"Astarion?" They prompt, and he looks at them and he feels so cold, as if the already sluggish blood in his veins had ceased moving entirely. "You're pale."

He starts to laugh, and it is a broken thing. A sawing, inelegant cackle, that cuts off in something he barely manages to restrain from becoming a sob.

He tells them about Cazador.

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br1ghtestlight · 11 months

Note

i know you didn’t rb it, but i wanted to send you some fanfic writer asks anyway (if you want to do them!!) how about - 3, 4, 18, 19? 💖

AWWW this is so sweet thank you!! of course!!! <3

3. what’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

i feel like it would be a lie to say anything other than my genderfluid gene fanfiction just bcuz i spent a ridiculous amount of time on it and still reread it somewhat frequently lol but other than that im also proud of the fanfiction i wrote abt bob's mom and her death :) very interesting themes to explore and i liked writing the childhood flashbacks

4. how many wips do you have right now?

there are so many i couldn't even count them all probably at least 30+ but for fanfictions im actively working on or TRYING to work on uhh maybe like 5 or 6 depends on the day. always starting new ideas

18. what’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

i definitely dont remember every line of dialogue ive ever written so i might be forgetting something but i really like linda talking to louise abt consent as a toddler ("Louise, I promise that we will NEVER try to steal your bunny ears, or tell you to take them off and not give them back to you afterwards. Not ever. We know that you love your bunny ears, and I made 'em special for you. Even if you're the baddest, meanest girl in the whole world, those bunny ears belong to you. They'll always be yours. Nobody is ever allowed to take them off without your permission, except for you. Not even Mommy or Daddy is allowed to do that.") and tina telling zeke that she'll always be there for him ("I'll be here for you no matter how scary it gets," Tina whispered.)

19. give us a small teaser from one of your wips

not sure if this counts as small but it doesn't make sense without the full context i dont think?? not even sure if im ever going to finish this one but its cute. it isnt from my tina x jimmy jr childhood friends to lovers fanfic btw this is just a silly sleepover fic i was writing

Jimmy Junior looked at Tina as she talked. She was wearing purple horse pajamas and he thought that they looked cool. "Do you want me to paint your nails?"

He had to have zoned out of their conversation, because he had no idea what was going on but Zeke was looking at Tina like everything she was saying made perfect sense. He had a goofy smile.

"Hell yeah! I want you use black for mine, and give 'em red and orange flames comin' off my fingers. That'll look cool as hell."

"What about you, Jimmy Junior?" Tina asked.

Tina was never cruel to him. She'd never teased him for his lisp or said that his dancing was stupid and annoying, even when they were fighting and she had every reason to be insulting to him. He wasn't always an amazing friend to her and he hadn't said enough how much he appreciated that she'd been there for him since preschool. They'd grown up together. Tina had been around when his younger brothers were born, and when his parents got their divorce finalized and he couldn't stop crying during school. They'd played together on the playground and shared their first kiss at her thirteenth birthday party, and through everything Jimmy Junior always knew that Tina loved him and had a good heart. Better than his.

He still couldn't help but pause for a second and try to figure out if she was trying to embarrass him or make a mockery of him somehow. Nobody had ever asked to paint his nails before, and he'd honestly considered makeup something that was completely forbidden. It was condemned only to his mother's bathroom cabinet and taken out when she was going on a date with somebody she wanted to impress. He wasn't ALLOWED to wear makeup.

#idk if i can fully take credit for that tina dialogue bcuz it was partly inspired by something else lol #ask #bob's burgers

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hyunjinspark · 2 years

Note

Hi Jade, I always thought of writing here and I was thinking of waiting till the next chapter (like mate stop procrastinating) but here we go... I've seen some people bad mouthing fanfics here and you saying that Tumblr hasn't been a happy place for you but I want you to know that your writing was one of the few things that helped me during one of the hardest times I've went through this summer. This is a bit embarassing for some reason lol but since I'm writing anonymously I can talk freely. Let me warn I may talk about some triggering topics and I don't know if you even want to read such things but my depression and anxiety became worse and I was also diagnosed with an eating disorder this summer. I really felt like giving up a lot this year and I feared that I'd. Thankfully I found some things to hold on for in life especially with uni starting. But during the summer I felt really alone and hopeless. This is half joking and half serious but I spent most of my time online and everytime you updated I was like "omg thank god I didn't do stupid things, here's the new chapter." "oh i should hang on a little more so that i can see the end of the fic." I always look forward to new chapters and I can imagine how hard it is to focus and be inspired when life goes on, responsibilities shows up and people try to degrade your work. But in the end I really hope and believe that nothing breaks your soul and your love for writing because you can always be an escape from reality and a peace of mind to someone who's in trouble without even knowing. I even made goddamn streusel cakes lol (unfortunately I had no strawberries left but apples weren't that bad either). Sending so much love to you and pardon me if I made any grammatical mistakes while writing to the greatest writer <3

trigger warning; depression, anxiety, ed

oh my god. first of all, thank you so much for feeling comfortable enough to open up and share this with me. i can’t thank you enough for telling me something like this, and how your message turned my week around.

its definitely strange to not have it to be a happy or safe place at the moment, because tumblr, for me, since years, has always been a safe space where i felt like i could share the writing i like, in a form that’s interesting to me. i love writing fiction, films and building stories about love, and with something like fandoms and fanfiction, its so simple to share with people. but currently with the hate threats, it’s definitely not feeling like a space where im comfortable anymore, so your message really impacted me, because it reminds me what i write for.

im so sorry to hear that you went through such a time, and i truly hope you’re doing much better now. ive had people close to me who have been through such situations and im so proud of you for not giving up and for still holding on. for you to say that my story helped me is a lot, perhaps way too much credit than i deserve, but honestly if my stories make you happy even just 1%, that’s enough for me.

i have been writing my entire life, but only shared on tumblr for a couple of years, with reservations because when you share any form of art or writing on the internet, you’re always inviting hate and anonymous comments from people who may not understand the intent of the work, and i could always go back to not sharing my writing since first and foremost i always write to express my ideas of love and receiving hate for love stories kind of negates that, you know? this week has made me feel like not wanting to share my writing anymore in the future, so thank you for telling me this.

i am grateful to have been an escape and piece of mind for you when you most needed it, and just that makes me feel like i was successful in sharing some love into the world.

you made streusel cakes from slwy? im honestly going to cry, ive never made streusel cakes myself but i will for you, im serious. going to get the recipe and coerce my best friend into doing that with me, just to celebrate you and slwy, and love.

once again, im so proud of you for getting through this and im so happy to have been there for you, even if unknowingly.

#star lost with you #the best message i have ever received #despite the circumstances #thank you for sharing it with me

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dedicatedfollower467 · 9 months

Note

2, 5, 8, 29, 31? <3

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Huh. I have at least made a go at MOST of the tropes that interest me. I guess I've never actually finished and posted a time-travel fix-it, although I've definitely started a few.

5. Share one of your strengths.

I like to think I'm quite good at dialogue. And also POV second person.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

do you have any idea of how big an ask this is. do you have any fucking clue how much i love writing dialogue. do you have any fucking clue how much fic I've written. do you have any idea how LONG my dialogue scenes are. do you have any idea how much random narration is shoved into every fucking dialogue scene I write until it's not a dialogue scene anymore. how am i supposed to pick out a favorite dialogue scene and talk about why i like it. this is impossible. i don't even know what dialogue scenes i like most in my own writing. i know i said dialogue is one of my strengths but i am so bad at picking favorites. i just spent like thirty minutes reading back through my own fic and i can't pick anything and i DEFINITELY can't explain why i like them, seriously how am i supposed to answer this question i change my mind im bad at dialogue i abstain

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Honestly I would love to write a Zutoph-centric Embers sequel. There's not a lot of Zutoph in the ATLA fandom in general (which makes sense because they have like. almost no interaction in canon), but I fucking ADORE their dynamic in Embers and I would love to explore that world more.

31. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

Okay I want to say my fic is mostly canon compliant but that is a lie. I write too many "everybody lives" AUs for that. And also just. Straight up total AUs. For every canon compliant fic I've written I probably have two or three more that aren't. Also I cut my teeth on writing fic in the X-Men and Batman fandoms, where a common response is "canon? lol what canon."

#answered #def answers asks #fanfic #my fic #i cant i genuinely tried but i just CANT.#consultingjedi

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braxiatel · 1 year

Note

I've been reading your equinox au and just JUST it never fails to make me crazy insane i think about it all the time!!! The way you write just guts me in the best possible way im left REELING and im aodnwkms??? U get it???????

Grian and scar are a mess and i am proud to announce that scar has never done anything wrong in his life (lie) and i love that for him. Cub made go "tear that bitch apart!!" when i read further yet to fall. Mumbo is dragged into god politics and i pray for his sanity but id willingly do the same for your scar. Eyes wide open even

Cheating stories are never really my jam but this??? The DRAMA the INTRIGUE the WORLD BUILDING the ACTUAL TO HONEST LOVE THATS SO FUCKING COMPLICATED BUT THATS HOW IT IS SOMETIMES?????? i am hooked like a bad telenovela but this time its actually not bad its fantastic really and i am left wanting more and i will always always cheer on scar bc frankly he deserves it. He is assigned as 'the one lead i could never hate even if i tried to' in this messy complicated and just talk to each other jfc relationship

Anyway thank u for creating equinox i am biting my nails i am walking in circles i am absolutely invested in this. Your world building makes me go mwah mwah mwah i will forever rotate it in my head like a rotisserie chicken kind of beat and i hate (affectionate) redstone in game bc it makes my head hurt but damn i love how you write it. The missing sun god is something that is bouncing inside my head and i dont know how to articulate it but it makes me go 'eyes emoji' yknow??? I am deeply in love enamored with ur storytelling and i will continue saying that with my whole chest

Anon?? 🥺🥺 Aaah this whole ask. You're so kind.

They really, really are a mess, aren't they? Much of the fun of writing it is sitting here going "come on. come on just talk to each other. You can do it." but because they are Scar and Grian about it they just... don't do that. So I have to be like "alright [throws plot in their direction] how about now, huh? No? More plot? I'm gonna keep piling misfortune on you until you talk, you know that, right?"

That said you are so, so right Scar never did anything wrong ever (lying, also).

Equinox Cub 🤝 Equinox Doc: wanting the neighbours to sort out their bs. They should form a union, even. They could probably get [redacted] to join too.

Anon, you are either gonna love or hate the next main story because Scar... well, he's making some Choices in the next one, is how I'll put it.

As for the sun god thing, there is some more information about that on the horizon too.

Also anon you have found my weakness, which is world-building. It is one of my absolute favourite parts of storytelling, so your complimenting mine means a lot <3 Emotions are being felt.

And thank you for wanting to read my fic, and for speculating about it <3 I am honestly a little overwhelmed (/pos) by the attention my Hermitcraft/life series fic is getting, everyone has just been incredibly kind.

(also in the name of redstone suffering solidarity, here is a picture of my lil Minecraft guy in front of the copper farm I recently spent Too Long building. I know you can't see half of their face, but I feel like the expression on the mask almost conveys my suffering better than any facial expression could have.)

#ask #equinox au #writing #also if any dw eu friends happen to click through the read more and sees my minecraft skin #yes that is why i am wearing a skull mask

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mish-tique · 1 year

Note

this one is long? omg. i've been waiting for this because the ask for this was so 😳🥵 and the person that requested this was fucking brilliant, and knowing you, you'd make it a masterpiece

so SPOILERS below the rose line for "nothing feels this good beside of heaven"

im fucking blushing at the summary alone. we love a supportive friend group but damn that's next level

the characters listed and the ships listed, it just makes me think of that qutething that says that gays really do flock together (i mean, me and my friends did haha)

the characters in this friend group is so !!!!!

galex are the (not really) responsible ones in the group, they're the parents, carlando might be the fairytale couple (not sure yet, but that scene in the pub where carlos found a stool for lando, protective hands on thighs), and lestappen are the horny bastards always making out somewhere. tho i think, by the end of this, we'll learn that they're all horny bastards

lando is so sensible thinking of how george "borrowed the car," we all know you won't be thinking of that later

"George says as if he’s somehow above the law" <- this took me back to austin lap 1 and i'm shutting up now

"The casual physical touch of this group is honestly on another level, and Lando has no idea when or how it started. He won’t be the one to stop it though." <- if you're not touchy or is suspected together with your friends, you're not doing friends right (tho i don't think normal friend groups would be doing what they'll be doing)

"Especially not when he sees how George’s hand travels to Alex’s thigh when he doesn’t have to shift gears" <- this line really took me out. i need a fucking breather and nothings really happening yet, but mabe it is heaven sent that the government hasn't fixed the roads yet, but damn really CARLANDO LESTAPPEN GALEX all at once?! a girl is dying

"because the next thing Lando feels are two hands teasing his thigh" <- fucking hell hands on thighs HANDS ON THIGHS i'm such a sucker for that really. fic!lando is living the dream

“Do not,” Carlos’ voice is so, so low, “Stop yourself from making those beautiful noises. They alone could make me come alone.” <- i- qlhboerygoieuwhdnkmokwqlodjiehuh

“Fuck,” Alex curses from the front of the car, “Who allowed you guys to be this hot.” <- my thoughts exactly. really miss missha, WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. the amount of times i had to stop reading. ahh so much fucking good writing. the thoughts thought, i've been staring at my screen for minutes now since i typed that last sentence. you broke my brain. this is so going up the list.

aside from the usual roses, i'm also giving you these exclamatiion marks. you decide what they mean

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

-Rose 🥺🌹

yes it truly was long!!! i was so proud seeing the word count. I kind of wanted to make it longer for Paranoid but aaa my brainjuices ran out so i had to work with what my brain was giving (which, yknow, was limited).

wondering whether i should wish for my friendgroup to be the same or be happy it's not

yo thank you for telling me their shipname is galex, i spent an entire day trying to figure out what it was

DO NOT REMIND ME OF AUSTIN I WILL GET ANGRYYY

they are Not the definition of a normal friendgroup oops

"CARLANDO LESTAPPEN GALEX all at once?! a girl is dying" <- girl me too when i tried to figure out what limps were going where

PLEASE LOWKEY COMMANDING CARLOS IS SOOOOO HOT

please. this thing was so hot to write, I'm glad you found it hot too!!

i'm filling in the exclamation marks as a mental image of you yelling!

hope you have a good day and that academia is kind on you <333

#🥺🌹#rose anon #missha's kinktober #qued

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vypridae · 3 months

Note

11 16 23

ask game🎉

!!!!! im gonna do this with both hazbin and bsd

11. if you're a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

oh my gooooood okay okay.

hazbin: right now im most proud of my most recent brokerdoll art and my uuuuuh the one i posted with val blowing smoke into vox's vents . the brokerdoll one just looks so goddamn good with the poses and shit and the staticmoth one i just am absolutely obsessed with how i did the effects (vox's screen glowing, the smoke, the electricity) it just looks really nice to me and ive never been able to do that before

bsd: for bsd i think the thing im most proud of rn is probably the fic i wrote where fyodor lives?? i posted it on ao3 and it was just one of my like top things i wrote because i looked up so much garbage for it, i spent so much time editing it and revising it to try to make it as good as i could and i love how it turned out so so much. float through the dim without the strength to move my favorite fic ive EVER wrote ever

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

hazbin: THE FUCKING SFX. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!! LIKE !!!!! i love when their voices do The Thing and get demonic because they get angry or go demon form or whatever, i love that val squeaks when he's angry because moths do that, i love that vox sounds like he's blowing out his speakers when he yells because hes yelling loud, i love all the times they chose that al does NOT have his voice effect, I JUST LOVE THE SOUND DESIGN IN THIS GODDAMN SHOW. it just adds so much and its so bfbdhfbhbhf /pos

bsd: bsd as a whole should be appreciated tbh JAHHAFBGHAF but honestly i'd have to say like ... just the little background faces? the ones in the manga are cute but the ones that are in the anime are just fucking hilarious to me . dazai looks like a cat in half of them . they make every character look like a different genre of Cat with the background faces and i fucking love that so much because its just so adorable and i love when fiction does stuff like make silly scenes with a different art style than the normal one because it just keeps my attention There!!

23. the fandom you're curious about because of a mutual

ooho... tbh i really dont have any that i can think of ?? because im really bad at actually consuming media ?? two i can actually name tho are jjk (from several friends, which idk if counts as "mutual" cuz theyre irls) and chainsaw man from you soda (i think its csm . i think) . im actually awful at looking into media tho i have to be sat down chained to a chair eyes forced open to watch anything new that i havent seen before but like if i ever get the will to watch stuff those will probably end up being my first two !!!

#ty for sending this soda <3<3<3 #xanbox #hazbin hotel #bsd #ask game #SORRY FOR PARAGRAPHS . I GOT CARRIED AWAY

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stealanity · 1 year

Note

hi matty!! it’s been so long and i’ve been so busy these past months 😭 i really wanted to share w you news that I GRADUATED WITH A DIPLOMA IN MY COURSE OF STUDY ‼️ honestly it the last semester was one of the hardest sems for me and the only few things that kept me alive and going were your fics that i’ve spent nights reading and re-reading for motivation 🥹 im really so grateful for you hehehe love you lots!

- 🦊 anon that disappeared for too long 😭

OH MY GOD HELLO??? i'm so happy to see you back you have no idea really, i was wondering where you were and i'm glad to see that you are okay and that you thought of me 😢

and, mf congratulations??? i'm SO PROUD OF YOU, and, i hope you're proud of yourself too ! i know it was hard, but you worked hard, and now you have the reward for your efforts, i'm so happy 😢 i know you will do great things in the future !

pleaseeee, i'm gonna cry, the fact that you're still here and support me always that much while i post much less, touches me enormously 😢 you have no idea how your words mean the world to me, really. i hope to keep you close to me for a long time, and thank you for everything 💗 love you always !

#🪡 : matty is speaking.

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itssleepyrabbit · 3 years

Note

hi! wow i super love your art and i don’t have enough dabihawks in my life 🥺 was wondering if you had any fic recs for them?? 💕💕

aah thank you so much!! 💕💕 💕💕

BOY IF I DO HAVE!! alright buckle up this might get long (most are fluff and SFW~ i’ll put a NSFW warning but be sure to look at tags in all of them!!)

Bed I made (lie in it with me) by silverwordswrites

“Touya is in desperate need of a plus-one for his brother's wedding and Keigo is infinitely curious about the man who he was sure used to hate him in college.”

-- the summary says everything and honestly it’s one of the most romatics dabihawks fics i’ve read.

On-going

He Doesn't Love Me by Fatally

“Dabi doesn't love him. He's accepted that thorny truth, swallowed it down and let briars grow in his chest, drinking down his blood like water.Or: The one in which Hawks settles for pining for his entire life and doesn't realize Dabi's been staring at him the entire time, too.”

-- I love pinning Hawks with a burning passion.

Completed

sweetheart, is that you? by fuckendeavor666

“dabi and hawks say i love you (without actually saying i love you) in five different ways.“

-- This is my absolute fave dabihawks fic

Completed

Deck the Halls With Boughs of Folly by DrAphra

“In which the League has acquired a new fancy mansion -with all the heating and food and plush beds they could possibly need - but they still prefer to spend the day out in the wilderness with just each other. Plus Hawks.“

-- Honestly all Aphra’s dabihawks fics are more than worth it but this one has a special place on my heart.

Completed

fuck, im so young - orphaned

“Todoroki Touya writes poems.

Words upon words of heartfelt confessions, letters of sing song fantasies, syllables of feelings he never got to say out loud.

When Todoroki Touya hits sixteen, he burns himself to death.

When Dabi hits twenty four-

He meets Hawks.”

-- i don’t know how to explain but this fic it’s pretty

Completed

Feathers and Feelings by Toboe1087

“Hawks keeps leaving feathers on his pillow, and Dabi's about had it.

(like hell he'd let anyone else have them, though)”

-- Dabi preening Hawks feathers is a blessing

Complete

(this is not a) swan song by bittermoons

“"Who's your favorite, then?"

"Hawks." Touya doesn't miss a beat. "Definitely Hawks."

"What? Seriously? How come?"

"He has his flaws, but at the end of the day, he's trying to do good. It's something he always strives for. Dabi, on the other hand...if it weren't for Hawks, he wouldn't be a hero, that's for sure."

[Or: How a secret is revealed, and what comes afterwards.]”

-- Adorable no quirks AU with manga artist Touya and oblivious Keigo! Another author i adore pretty much all dabihawks works.

Completed

You can't trap the sky in a bottle by thyandra

“Letting Toga organize the accommodations for their trip might have been a mistake. This particular truth becomes obvious to Keigo as he opens the door of his hotel room for the first time. There, staring back at him mockingly, is a single, king-sized bed. It’s only by virtue of all the years spent perfecting his poker face around his adoptive parents, that he manages to keep his face straight. At his side, Touya clicks his tongue. “They must’ve given us the wrong key.””

--(no quirks AU) I really love they way Dabi and Hawks are written here i can’t express it in words and so so much pinning

Completed

A Tale as Old as Time by EloFromMars, Gotcocomilk

“Dabi and Hawks are hit by the most improbable Quirk: both are yeeted in Fairytales land and have to rely on each other to get out of this.“

-- this was such a fun read omg

Completed

A Romance Written All Over Your Body by minatsukinoamayo

//NSFW mind the tags!//

“Hawks is assigned to infiltrate the League of Villains in order to expose them. Hawks usually never fails a mission, but Keigo usually never falls in love, either.A story of how Hawks falls from grace to become a villain, because hero society has failed them all.

5 times they're not in a relationship and 1 time they are.“

-- you know those fics you say “one more chapter” and it’s 3AM

Completed

it caught spark in your eyes by youareoldfatherwilliam

//Mature - Implied Sexual Content//

“Keigo’s quirk is powerful, but sometimes it comes with unintended side effects.

Or: A 5 + 1 fic of five times the more…instinctively bird-like parts of Keigo’s quirk took over accidentally during his relationship with Dabi, and one time it happened entirely on purpose.“

-- I was screaming about this particular fic on twt the other day pls give it a read if you can it’s so so so good! Any fic that has Hawks with bird traits has a special place on my heart

Completed

The Others by threesipsmore

//Mature - 2 sexual scenes, nothing too explicit but they’re there//

“"Skeptic's starting to think he’s more important than me,” Toga sneers, an acidic edge to her voice. “Making decisions on his own, sending out birdie without even talking to me first.”

She’d simply acquiesced to cooperating with Skeptic, but from day one the complaints had never stopped. In this tiny room layered with sushi and cakes, Dabi was forced to listen to her whining.”

-- You go birb, you get that man

Completed

Equivalent Exchange by inexchangeforyoursoul

“Keigo blinks the blurry oblivion away from his eyes, although some part of it is oddly stubborn and to stay indefinitely. There's three things he's certain of: first, he’s alive. Second, just by looking at the bed and windows he can tell this is no villain hospital or torture room. Third: something feels wrong. Very wrong.

The silence… is deafening.

xxx

To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.

If so, what of a bird that has lost its wings?”

-- i had so many feelings reading i can’t physically explain them to you also PINK HAIR DABI PINK HAIR DABI

Completed

dabi's 5-step guide to being a better parent than endeavor by twinkfrankenstein (orphan_account)

“A little voice inside his head whispered spitefully about how this was no place for a child, and how he was making a mistake and would only traumatize the kid, yada yada. He responded with an equally spiteful-

“Fuck off, its not like I planned to do arson today.”

(or: how Dabi becomes a good dad just to spite his own, realizes he kinda sorta maybe likes Hawks for realsies, begrudgingly admits the League cares and finally comes to terms with his protective side. Not in that order.)“

-- this legit made me laught out loud idk what else tell you

Completed

The Todoroki In-Laws by aphrodaisyacs

“Over 10 years after the fight against the Paranormal Liberation Front, Rumi, aka the part-time hero Miruko and the proud wife of one Todoroki Fuyumi, decides it would be an awesome idea to create a groupchat with the significant others of the other Todoroki siblings.

Maybe things would be easier if its members weren’t two Pro Heroes, a former one and a rehabilitated villain, but…Honestly, where’s the fun in that?”

-- this is not dabihawks focused but it’s so funny pls

Completed

With Being Petty Comes Consequences by CursedUndead

“"When we were saying fuck pro heroes, I didn't think you literally meant FUCK them," Tomura grumbles, kicking over an empty beer can.

"Pretty judgmental for someone fucking a pro twice their age," Touya says.

Tomura squints, and says, "Ten years is not twice my age."

Or, after spending Enji's money, Touya is forced to babysit for the number 2 hero to pay him back. Touya makes it his life's mission to fuck his new boss.”

-- this only has 4 chapters but i know it’s going to be one of my faves

On-going

The Truth series by AmethystUnarmed

-- Hawks gets hit with a truth quirk and starts to be actually free by the power of love, friendship and a bit of crime <3

The last entry is on-going

and if we sit and count it up it's really not a lot by sincerelysamedt

“Hawks finds a bento box in his messenger bag and almost cries.

"Is that a loving wife bento?"“

-- please PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD READ THIS ONE /sobbing noises/

Completed

steal your heart by darlingest

//Mature//

“When infamous thief Hawks announces that he is going to steal the heart of Endeavor's son, everyone expects him to prey on Shoto Todoroki - nobody suspects Touya to be the actual target.“

-- Villain Hawks and civilian Dabi are my guilty pleasure and this one it’s so soft too i’m- djsahfdjkfhadf

Completed

darling, thank god it’s this universe we’re in (and you can annoy me as much as you please) by juurensha

“ Todoroki Rei divorces Endeavor and moves all four of her children into a small apartment next to a boy with wings as red as the hair of her eldest son. “

-- This was one of the first dabihawks fics i ever read and, to this day, i come back to it when i feel i need the extra burst in happy feelings and check their other works too! Honestly all are such a good fucking read

Completed

#ask #faerie-fang #this is not even half the fics i love #i can always show more but i was afraid of bugging again djsfhadf #honestly check ALL this authors you're not gonna regret it #fic rec #dabihawks

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