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boxwinebaddie · 2 months

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STAN HAS THAT K CHOKER RIGHT? DOES THAT MEAN KYLE HAS AN S NECKLACE? like he could totally stack his s necklace with his star of david one

aaaaaaaaa

you know i love a lil matchy-matchy moment~

and actually, i accumulated a lot of different asks actually, mostly, interestingly enough asking me about the same roundabout thing: if jersey wears rings, how he feels about jewelry, if he has any tattoos or other piercings, stuff of the like, etc.

but i never got around to answering those because i'm kind of a perfectionist and i get all worked up in my head about how i'm going to answer things because i want them to be perfect ( i keep trying to structure nsfw ask like it's a nine page research essay, smh ) buuut

basically, as we all know well, jersey is…Particular.

particularly abt himself and what is done to him/on him.

( okay, fair warning: the rest of this answer is very long and i just talk a lot about the former question about jersey/his attachments to material things and also physical-emotional things — people — you do not have to read all that...the short answer is yes, kyle does stack a stan 's' necklace with the star of david, i talk about it more at the end, but this intro part is a lot of exposition and information. so if your curiosity does not end there...perhaps i can further it below xx )

a lot of it ties into his ocd and this need to control every aspect of his life, not being able to put it in anyone elses hands but his own because he's scared of that improbability...that margin of error.

it keeps him up at night.

for that reason, even though he has a ton of health issues, diabetes, etc. he is extremely Defiant and Volatile in doctors offices. like, he will start throwing shit, rip ivs out of his arms, ask you to explain what you are giving him In Detail and will probably still refuse to take it.

tbh, the only reason he's taking any medication at all is because he really loves sheila and she is extremely worried about losing him </3

( jersey is a mommas boy, i said what i said! )

but he takes his own blood sugar, pricks his own fingers, runs all his own tests...he really does not trust anyone else w/ that kind of thing. which ties into piercings because he does...think that they're…lowkey, highkey *jersey vc* Hawt, i’m sorry; it's true.

i do think it's his...Thing.

the man really just wants a little hot topic emo boy accessory display for a boyfriend and he is right for that. cute, shiny, edgy. i respect it.

eye candy, arm candy, if you will?

( jersey is extremely partial to candy, ofc <3 )

and idk, maybe it's just a me thing, but to me, jerseykyle, specifically, is very conceptual and is intrigued by fashion and stuff, but because when he was overweight growing up, he was sort of just shoe-horned into all this oblong, ugly clothing, whatever would fit or they could afford. so he never really got to be able to wear things he wanted to, until about right now and it's been really liberating for him? idk? aaa

i love sleek, chic, dark academia, tired 1940s evil classics professor, thrift store couture jersey in his dollar store blazers and italian loafers. like my man is an off duty model, forreal. i am obsessed with him.

and actually he really Likes tattoos and piercings and dyed hair and thinks all the little rings are cool because you're like this living art form, this distinct individual, there's a uniqueness, a cool rebellion there he can’t create have within himself, so he combats/masks it as disgust and disinterest because he doesn't like to process his complicated feelings and also doesn't like forming attachments...especially...

...to things he's inexplicably Drawn to.

which is why, initially, upon even just bearing witness to raven of crimson dawn, kyle freaked out because he was like immediately Extremely Attracted to him because he checks all these little boxes in his brain, but his brain, of course, is corroded by mental illness and trauma, so he immediately projects extreme amounts of hostility in raven's direction because he is like you're all chaos and disorder, you're a mess, you throw caution to the wind, You’re Unpredictable.

when he’s actually obsessed w/ that capricious energy?

like he makes fun of stan for all his punk rock boy 'hood ornaments' and 'anarchical embellishments', but his heart starts racing every time stan winks at him and his little eyebrow piecing winks back, or he runs his tongue over that lip ring kyle got hyperfixated on, partially because it's pretty, which...rip, not even joking…

if stan comes out in the support rock, fuck a rockstar tank top, the tiny pants and sports that little lip ring chain thing that connects to the cuff on his ear...it does something seriously ( down ) bad to kyle's brain and stan is immediately getting Railed. soz if you were waiting for stan's autograph, hes gettin ky's all over his body. woops.

but!!! it's mostly bc stan had the courage and hedonism to put something through his lip and live with it. that he could get other piercings, get tattoos, let people handle him, put his life into someone else's hands, let them have control for a second, knowing they are executing the thing you want/need without you doing it...

it's literally All a control thing.

or rather, an inability to lose it.

because he's very particular, yeah, about what he likes and doesn't like, he won't wear any fabrics that itch or bother him, he won't buy something if the hem pisses him off, if he has to wear something he doesn't like, he will bitch and moan the entire day about it. and while it's good to have that level of self-assuredness, it's also kind of a self-preservation and self destructive coping mechanism for jerseykyle.

because he pushes everything out...

but doesn't let anything else in.

and a lot of that changes when raven/stan comes back into the picture, because when they were growing up, stan was this beautiful, glowing fixture of nonconformity, this pillar of strength that was twice as strong as he was, even though kyle was the fighter. because stan fought for self-acceptance and kyle fought for self-loathing.

and really...the reason why his ed developed in the first place was because gerald and society as a whole brainwashed him into hating himself and that people would only digest him if he was in small enough, beautiful, palatable enough pieces to eat so even though he acts out or throws punches: It’s All Within The Lines.

or the confines, rather.

of the person he thinks people want him to be.

but, idk, i'm talking too much. basically, gist is, kyle has a hard time handing over control to other people/being vulnerable and the final piece to that is...permanence.

a piercing...a tattoo...is Permanent.

i mean, sure, they close up and you can get them removed, but you are irreconcilably changed and altered. you are different now.

anddddd sigh, the jersey can't say i love you ask strikes again! because jersey can't say i love you because it's handing over control, because it's vulnerable because it's...permanent and he has extremely deep-seated commitment issues because of all of that.

which means he rarely, if ever, makes said commitments.

so when he Does...

it's a very special thing indeed.

because jersey has no tattoos or piercings on his body.

save for the sun/moon one he got on his ring finger for stan ( i can never decide if i want jersey to have the sun tattoo because he is the sun or if he has the moon one so he can wear rae around with him )

*** ( i also think it's possible he might get little hebrew things for his mom or idk, something very important later...i'll think about it more )

and...One ear piercing.

i was going to go at this in more comical and dramatic way in an old post, but basically, i think kenny/bebe/craig someone basically joked about there being reduced earring piercings at claire's and they should take kyle because he's the only one without pierced ears and jersey gets really defensive about it and everyone's like ooooh! kyle's scared to get his ears pierced, so the competitive and aggressive side of him that hates to lose briefly outweighs the neurotic side and is like "fuck you!!! let's go right now! i'm not scared of anything!"

and he gets there, stan's with him, and he is...freaking out in the little plastic chair with some eight year old girl next to him ecstatically getting her ears pierced for her birthday, bc he's going to have to let someone...do something to him/inflict something on him.

( which actually, i think, is what is really beautiful about j.k and r.s' relationship and dynamic, is that jersey teaches raven that you can't just let people do things you don't want them to do to you just because you feel like you should ft. his sexual trauma and stan teaches kyle that it is okay to let other people in, to do reckless things, to allow yourself to feel and enjoy simple pleasures w/o fear. ft. his ocd

lmao, is there a branch in my eye again? y is it Watering )

and ravenstan is like, mi amor, they are just your ears, you will be okay, i will hold your hand…

everything will be fine, i swear. :’) <3

and he gets hyped up, ready to go, the 16 y/o piercing his ears tells him she'll count to three and pierce on one.

...and she pierces on Three.

i'm not sure if it's bc she pressed too soon or because she thought that if she surprised him, it might make him less nervous, but it does not!!!! kyle FREAKS out!!!! his ocd goes haywire and basically has a nervous breakdown at freaking /claires/ bc she pierced his ear before she SAID she would and destroys the confidence that he built up to let himself be vulnerable.

it seems like a Silly thing...but i think it says a lot, yknow?

and though it was a serious blow to his ego, kyle only has...one ear pierced because he panicked and could not get the second one done. and it, to this day, is one of the only asymmetrical things abt him. which, i actually think is important to him coping w/ his ocd

( similar to how kyle, sorry slight nsfw, having stan have to ask for things if he wants them, helps him, in a seemingly innocuous way, build confidence in himself/not let things just 'happen' to him without his consent ) because having only one ear pierced means he has to deal with being lopsided and that, everyday the earth doesn't crash into the sun...means that he's okay.

also a cute thing about the one ear piercing is that i think kyle wears like this cute little gold sun dangly one that has a similar ambiance to the sun and moon glasses chain charms? it's his signature.

and other than showering, sleeping, etc. he only really ever takes it out when raven is going off somewhere far away :( and he switches it with a little stan silver earring ( idk kyle feels very gold jewelry bc of his orange hair and stan feels v silver bc of his blue eyes and stuff ) and stan sometimes takes kyle's with him on tour...AAAAA i'm sad

on the subject of rings, since someone else asked me, kyle does not wear rings even though he does like them/they're pretty because they're heavy, they clank against his pen when he's writing, the sound pisses him off...but he wears stan's lil silver emo boy rings when he's away and gaslit himself into liking the sound because the sound it makes against his pen reminds him of the sound it makes when stan is excitedly scribbling song lyrics and singing to him aaaaa IM :(

WHERE WAS I GOING WITH THIS AGAIN?

oh, yeah.

extreme mental illness.

so jersey never makes adjustments or accommodations for anyone, and when he does it's a big deal...but really...

it's because Stan is a big deal to him.

stan is EVERYTHING to him.

and kyle thinks it's cute that at every show and every concert, stan always wears the little spicy k charm on his emo boy choker ( and got the little even spicier inner thigh tattoo w kyle's name on it...anyways )

so, he starts wearing a little s around his neck for stan.

which, initially, i'm sure you're like...oh God.

jersey making an adjustment to his very specific cartoon character outfit alignment of things he wears every day, things he wears at home, things he wears specifically when going out depending on the environment...this sounds like a recipe for disaster. this is a big change for him. he's gonna spin out or short circuit his brain.

but...really? it feels as easy as Breathing.

because for one of the first times in his life, kyle got something that he didn't just get for him, w/ selfish intentions or bc he needs to be in control...he got it...

to make stan happy. :)

and it does make him very, Very happy, indeed.

which is really funny to me because jersey is super annoying and just starts wearing it and pretends like he doesn't know what's going on bc he's bad at ~gestures~. so stan comes home, sees it and immediately is like *big stan eyes* 'what are you wearing??'

and kyle is like, ‘oh, this? i've had it forever, it's was just in the back of the closet. why? is it wrinkled or—‘ and stan is like 'no, dummy. the NECKLACE' and kyle, playing dumb, trying to act nonchalant because he's kind of embarrassed abt having emotions is like 'oh, that. y'know. just something i'm trying out...' and stan is like

'kyle broflovski, are you wearing a necklace with my initial on it????' and kyle is like 'alright, woah there, mr. celebrity. but not eeeeverything is about you, okay? that s could stand for anything.'

and stan is like *genuine heart eyes wowza because kyle is being annoying but stan loves dumb annoying kyle that's why he wears his lil possessive emo boy k charm on his choker everywhere* 'okay, well the k on mine stands for kiss me or kiss me kyle or whatever you want just, come and kiss me please' kshdlkshd <333 eWW

anyways...they're Gay. they're in love. they having matching tattoos and earrings and wear eachother's intials around their neck. nbd.

but...in a very longwinded format, i hope this answers your question baby and hopefully some other questions you have abt jersey. i'm sorry that was a lot but i literally could talk about jersey forever, like he is so fascinating and bc he's our narrator and he's such an unreliable one, it's hard to understand how his brain works.

hope this helps. <3

uncle nina, keeper of the cryptid jersey whore-lore

#okay i am sorry #i know this barely answers your question #but i got a lot of similar questions #and i wanted to answer them in one big ask while i was feeling inspired so here is a bunch of jersey trauma lore #i hope it's fascinating i find it all super fascinating #because he presents like this perfectly in control orderly well maintained militant self-satisfying self gratified thing #but it's just a front for the fact that he's scared of change and is scared of not being in control or making mistakes #like he is put together but a breath away from falling apart #stan teaches him to sit down kyle teaches him to stand up #also sorry kyle having a fascination with edgy boy things and piercings and stuff in particular is kinda spicy to me #i luv him like he really is like that man is a satanic abomination and i want to do terrible horrible depraved things to him #like he really saw raven of crimson dawn and was like oy gevault i have never wanted to cut my lip open on anything #more than on that mans lip ring holy hell oh my god he is so shiny and ripped up and his makeup is so cool #he is a celebrity he has no original thought he doesnt think abt anything thats why he has all those tattoos and piercings #but also y do i want to trace my fingers down them every time i look at him he reveals himself more to me i want to learn more #kinsey scale gay 6 jerseykyle everyone but specifically for dramatic crybaby bisexual punk rock boys w/ piercings #which...i think is incredible bc i do not think people would expect that from kyle...but people also thinks he cannot feel #BUT HIM ADJUSTING HIS WELL REGIMENTED LIFE TO INCOPORATE STAN INTO IT I WANT TO SCREAM #HIM LEARNING TO LET OTHER PEOPLE DO STUFF FOR HIM AND BE OKAY WITH THEM HELPING HIM #I WANT TO START FUCKING SCREAMING I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY I LOVE JERSEYS CHAR DEV #ok final thot is he does sometimes do a gold jewelry ring moment or somethin if he's feeling like its important to the look #but they are very insignificant things for aesthetics easily taken off or removed...its the important stuff he has trouble w #and makes it all the more rewarding i think <3 #ily jers #okay last last small thing as far as like getting little piercings and random fun tattoos goes i just think he doesnt want any #boring king ik minus the ocd and stuff he just likes all his stuff to be very a-line and crisp doesnt like massive statements #like my man Is the statement like he has beautiful luxiourous curly red hair and green eyes and his nose a modern art piece #its too busy for him its distracting and u know thats what u have a hot rockstar bf for so u can pretend 2 read ur book #but the plot of the book is tracing ur sbfs sexc hip tattoos and helping him decide what belly button ring hes gonna wear #you know!!! The Plot!!! which kyles eidetic mem comes back but he does get distracted looking at stan a lot help

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 8 months

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You knew my mother was here | Moth Work

Lonan has stopped paddling. The canoe sits in the middle of the lake, lifeless like a bone in the water. He’s turned so Harrison sees him in profile and can’t tell if it’s relieving or worrying to see his face. Lonan’s jaw is taut, like there are words he wants to say but can’t. Filling up the hollow bone. He blinks slowly, like he’s trying to re-centre himself, his chest quivering with breaths meant to steady him. The water laps at the base of the canoe, whirling like his head. Dark hair tangles down his cheeks like the fingers of a poltergeist.

“You knew my mother was here,” Lonan says.

“Yes.”

“How?”

“Research.”

LONAN PORTRAIT TO GRACE (HAUNT?) YOUR DASH!! <3

Excerpt circa 2019.

#this was sooo fun hehee #I meant to draw HB Lonan but it looked more like MW Lonan which is dumb because they are literally the Same Guy only a month apart but #BUT I HAD MY LOGICCCC #anyway <3 #he’s wearing Harrison’s jacket <333 like he does for most of the book lol #lonan ‘I’m not gay’ clark #there are probably things abt this I’ll change but I didn’t want to spend too long making it perfect !!!#but I mean he’s pretty perfect in himself hehe <3 #THIS scene is why moth work was called boys on a boat for a long time #THE OGs KNOW LOL #personally if I saw this man the only words coming out of my mouth would be okay babygirl but maybe that’s just me looool #like sometimes I’m like harrison WHY this man WHY #and then I draw him and I’m like yeah yeah okay #the sketch at one point looked so much like REEVE!!!! so I’m gonna draw over it and make it her lol #anyway did you know that the whole reason moth work even happens is because #Harrison’s worried about Lonan’s add*ction & as a last resort is like #okkkk I can’t help you but maybe your bio mom can???? and Izzy is at the cabin lol #sometimes I forget that was the reason!!!!#anyway kissing him on the cheek #I hope he finds happiness and love!!!!!#art

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newvision · 2 months

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Poems/books for being seventeen?

Silas Denver Melvin, from Grit

I saw an exquisite pink and blue shell on the sea-bottom. I dove for it, and held it, smooth and hollow in my hand all the morning. I decided it was a lucky charm, and that I would keep it. I am surprised that I have not lost it, for I lose everything. Today it is still pink and warm as it lies in my palm, and makes me feel like crying.

Françoise Sagan, from Bonjour Tristesse (1954) // movie still from Bonjour Tristesse (1958)

Kara Jackson, Teenagers Are Not Exempt From Poetry (read full prose piece here)

Some recommendations of books I’ve read that deal with girlhood or being a teenager (not my faves, but enjoyable. Probably wouldn’t read them again, but objectively literature that might be of interest to you):

Brutes — Dizz Tate

The Virgin Suicides — Jeffrey Eugenides

The Ice Palace — Tarjei Versaas

Teenage Wasteland — Anne Tyler

Normal People — Sally Rooney

My Dark Vanessa — Kate Elizabeth Russell

We Were Liars — E. Lockhart

my notes on each recommendation:

SEVENTEEN: Exactly what being seventeen felt like to me. He has absolutely beautiful poetry on age, Seventeen is the first of those in the collection. I’ve loved measuring my growth by how I relate to these poems. You can download the entire collection for free, just check out his account @sweatermuppet, I’m sure he has a link somewhere (or drop him an ask)! One of my favourite collections, it really embodies the feeling of being young, so the rest of the poems might also be of interest to you. I find myself rereading them all of the time. Love your work, Silas! Can’t wait for more poetry

BONJOUR TRISTESSE: I don’t remember the protagonist’s age exactly, but the author was seventeen when she wrote it. Very breezy, very summery, contains the whole spectrum of teenage emotions, from raging anger to audacious freedom. The protagonist is both astute and very childish. This book is so obviously written by a teenager, and I mean this as the highest compliment. You don’t get adults writing about being seventeen like that. She is seventeen. Seventeen is this story’s essence. I haven’t seen the movie, but it’s on my watchlist. Heard it’s good though!

TEENAGERS ARE NOT EXEMT FROM POETRY: I read this the other day and think it would have been very affirming for teenage me, who felt insecure about reading and writing poetry. Some lines really stuck with me and I think the writer’s youthful voice captures the solace teenagers might find in poetry very well. There is a freshness to that discovery. I remember reading Ginsberg for the first time and life feeling ten times wider even though my English was not broad enough for me to understand his work in its entirety. Discovering art at that age is a privilege, I believe most people will struggle to feel the same awe and wonder in later years. The author of this prose piece mentions many different poems that might interest you!

BRUTES: Read it last year and honestly found it kind of disappointing. Very interesting style, though, as most (all?) of it is written from the perspective of a group of teenage girls, using ‘we’ and ‘us’ instead of ‘I’ and ‘me’. I think I would have liked it a thousand times more, had I read it earlier in life. Fantastic book cover

THE VIRGIN SUICIDES: Very obviously written by a man, but nevertheless an interesting study of teenage love and obsession (there’s an excellent movie adaptation by Sophia Coppola!)

THE ICE PALACE: If I remember correctly, the protagonists are younger than seventeen, but it’s a very moving story about how young people grieve. Norwegian author, which I found very interesting, as I haven’t read a lot of Scandinavian literature

TEENAGE WASTELAND: Not for me, this one! But you might have different taste. After reading some reviews, it seems like people either hate or love this short story

NORMAL PEOPLE: I am not a huge Sally Rooney fan, but I do understand why people adore her so much. I thought Conversations With Friends was a better book, but that’s partly because I found it more relatable. Normal People is a very intelligent story on young love, class differences and the reality of many relationships. The opposite of a ‘happily ever after’ book, left me feeling unresolved and unsatisfied, as I believe it intended

MY DARK VANESSA: I’m not sure if recommending this too a teenager is wise, but it is certainly a very good book. Heavy stuff, though. Deals with emotional manipulation and violence directed at a teenaged girl in form of a predatory relationship. Rarely read something that made me feel so uneasy by manipulating me as the reader. I read it as a teen and it impressed me very much! Be safe, please. If you are easily disturbed, check any content warnings!

WE WERE LIARS: Something suspenseful that will suck you in, a summer-y and kind of light book. Definitely entertainment literature, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Probably won’t change your life, but also won’t bore you. Cool friendship dynamics between teenagers!

#I really took my time curating this list for you! I hope you’ll find something you’ll like :-)#I know being seventeen is difficult. for me it was the year I graduated Highschool and tasted the freedom of adult life for the first time #i was also the angriest I had ever been at 17 I think. it can be a frustrating and lonely age #all I can say is that it really does pass! the anger will eventually fade (for me it did at least)#its frustrating to be on the brink between childhood and adulthood. try and remember that its liminal state and not your damnation <3 #a liminal state*#sorry if you didn’t want advice! hope this list makes you feel seen & provides you with some good hours of reading!#also if anyone else read this post I’d love to do more of these! specific recommendations are so much fun #book recommendations #literature recommendation #recommendations #girlhood #seventeen #on girlhood #on being seventeen #on childhood #on growing up #bonjour tristesse #french literature #literature #poetry #books #litblr #grit #webweaving #web weaving #intertextuality #mine #my recommendations #my reading

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marsbotz · 1 year

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ninjago fandom when ppl stop mischaracterising wu as a one note shitty old guy and realise hes a complex character with just as much of his own trauma as everyone else in the show

#someday i need to make a proper post abt this bc. it makes me a bit crazy LOL #wu is like first and foremost charatwrised by his desire to be like. The Good Child #its been shown wus Default personality is like this cheeky reckless optimist #from like. eps like never trust a human and also. baby wu. in s8-9 #hes rude but hes trusting. very naive in conparison to garmadon whos more reserved and responsible at this point #its only once garmadon gets bitten that he starts to change #once again im begging u guys to read the spinjitzu brothers books. LOL #but over them u can rllyyyy see wu losing this kinda .. naive aspect to him and losing hope in his brother as well #u see him start to doubt himself more and more that garm can be ‘fixed’#which. well. wu follows after the fsm in this aspect #wu very obviously aspires to be like his father (wearing his hat and clothes and using his staff etc)#when the fsm sends them to find a cure for garm.. wu goes with it. despite garms protests that hes not broken #wu has a Lot of responsibilty on him from very younv as the son of the fsm #and even more so once garmadon becomes like. a lost cause and source of evil or whatever the fuck #the fsm is not kind. in the books someone mentions being thrown out of his home after being accused of stealing #and the brothers agree that sounds like him Alright #canonically the reason wu woukdnt climb over the wall was bc he was afraid of his father catching him.#and wu feels like. immense guilt for garmadon being bitten int he first place.#it seems wus coping mechanism for anything hes ashamed of is… to just hide it. or simply Not Tell You #hence things like morro. he never spoke of morro bc of the guilt of failing to care for him properly.. and Partly bc he failed as a teacher #circling abck to wu imitating the fsm.#wu makes mistakes constantly bc thats who he is! deep down hes reckless and naive but hides it behind this like … aloof wisdom #also i think the parallels u can draw in s9 from him growing up w the expecations to save the ninja..#w the expectations HE put on the ninja himself… and also similarities w his (first) childhood #very interesting.#i rlly love the line in crystalised when antonia point sout hes recruited children to fight before #bc u can see him Realise. and i dont think its that he just puts this pressure on the ninja bc he doenst care. he just doesnt See #how hes continuing this awful cycle that started w the fsm INT HE FUCKING DRAGON ONI WAR!!!!!!!!!#anyway i cld talk abt this forver but i ran out of tags WEEEEE!!!#farts

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daddy-socrates · 5 days

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i think my interview this morning went well!!

#im not trying to speculate on whether or not i think i have the job #but i feel good about how the interview went #i am getting anxious about money again though #and this interview happened during one of the company-wide training days for the second job i just started #bc the first job is uh. i will have had one (1) shift for the entire second pay period of this month #so that one is very much a supplementary 'fill in when needed and wanted' kind of position #but unfortunately i have a conference during ANOTHER training day for the more stable job next weekend.#and i just feel like im somehow showing them that im unreliable?? and that then they will not want to schedule me??#idfk thats the fear talking. practically speaking if they didnt want me they wouldnt hire me. the store manager and the dm both #said that it's not a big deal so i will do my best to trust them #hhhhhh i have a tour booked for an apartment next tuesday afternoon and i hope . ?? i can wiggle my way in to another training sesh next we #idk if thats something i can request or try to suggest w my store manager or if i have to wait on him to get to me about it #but i will find out on monday when theres the next session that i can make #blah blah blah

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popcornsalty · 2 months

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Okay important and genuine message from me. I'm not much or often a poster on timblr but if I can give a sincere message. It's to have varied interests. Be into multiple things at once. It doesn't have to be the same intensity for all of them or level of interest or whatever. Hell not all of it has to be good. Just have multiple things to look forward to and care about

#poke post #was watching a long ass video essay recently #n it finally mqde smth click for me coz like #one of the most miserable times in my life was when i was in the ds/mp era #because it and associated content creators were all i was into! so when shit was hitting the fan a long long time before i left #i was left in just the worst relationship to what was to be a comfort #and now fast forward a few years and. its like. im reading books. im going outside. im playing games. im drawing things. i curate my time #online very scrupulous because if i dont its easy to end up sad #which for me was starting to happen w/ q/s/mp #and so i was able to leave #because i have friends and shit outside of it and things i can talk about other then it #and its so freeing #which is to say. just. try to carve out time for more then one interest or thing at a time if you can #there are things you can do!! look up top 10 books in a genre!! order them off a library!! log off your socmeds for a while!! fuck!!#its not easy but its so worth it i promise it is.#+ also moreover please always remember my friends you are never obligated to engage in things if they make you unhappy. its always okay #to check and see if something brings you more joy then discomfort #take care everyone take care of yourselves #no one else can do it for you #anyway i will now go back to. my book :3 ive been reading the g/olden compass. havent finished yet so no spoilers #feel free to ask me about it ill probably get to it tmrw #also some things im looking forward to:#more on/e piece more wi/tch hat a/tieler ram the next stream of this small streamer ive been into #the next novel by this mid author i liked as a kid-#the next ep of du/nmeshi anime #and more and more #and sometimes i forget to have a thing to look forward to #and must find something new again again #its worth it #also yea no this is incoherent hope someone gets smth out of it tho

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johnbly · 8 months

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WIP game!

i was tagged by @tortoisesshells ✨

so i have two fics going one rn: 1) in the boat purgatory in at world's end, james comes across gov swann and the two have a final conversation together (not using that for this since i haven't done too much but something to look forward to i guess) and 2) bolt's "what if james had a dragon" fic and subsequent discussions and questions has me now doing a "what if hornblower had a dragon" fic so here is an excerpt from that:

“Who are you?” The dragonet is speaking French, and internally Hornblower swears. Is French the only language the creature knows? It’s no issue for him, of course, but how can it be expected to be a British dragon if it only knows French? “Captain Horatio Hornblower, most recently of the HMS Sutherland,” he replies, also in French – awkwardly so, because it’s a ridiculously formal introduction to make to a dragon, but in light of never having conversed with one before he’s fallen back on the old habit of saying more than is necessary. “That is not a French name,” the dragon says. In English. “Non – no, it is not. You speak English, then?” “I do.” Pause. “That was a long introduction. I hope you don’t want me to use it whenever I want to call on you?” The idea of a dragon wanting to call on him at all is no less ridiculous than having a conversation with one, but it – he? The voice is deep – has a point. “You can call me 'Hornblower',” he says.

i don't remember who all is writing things that hasn't already been tagged, so if you see this and are a writer, feel free to share!

#thanks tortie! glad i had something to share #further context: it's at the end of flying colours as you may have guessed from hornblower's intro #when he bush and brown go to steal the witch of endor they find the egg #bc originally the egg (maybe some others too?) was being sent by the navy somewhere but then as we know she was captured by the french #so now the french are getting ready to move the egg somewhere but surprise the escaped british prisoners are stealing your ship #the dragon is named justinian bc hornblower was like [sweats] how do i name things #and started thinking about the names of his ships but accidentally said them aloud and the dragon was like 'i like justinian thanks'#the fic just covers the finding/hatching/reuniting with the fleet #but i do intend to reread temeraire eventually so maybe more will come #...i hope there are no typos in these tags #also i hate posting long things on mobile but i refused to give in so here we are #also also justinian is going to be a good bean that will remind hornblower of kennedy sometimes #bc i think he needs someone like that in addition to bush. thank you show #and idk if the boat purgatory convo could happen in canon since their deaths were separated by a fair amount of time (?)#but i can do what i want #afraid of heights hornblower having a dragon is still funny to me. sorry buddy blame bolt #he's kind of a mashup of show!hornblower and book!hornblower #my writing #chilly chats #tortoisesshells

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white-weasel · 9 months

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I love comics but by god sometimes the dialogue is the most on the nose shit I’ve ever read ahdkahdks

#this is about knight terrors: Robin which I just read lmao #like…. it was fine but man did so much of what everyone was saying is so cheesy but not in a fun way #in a ‘I’m supposed to be taking this seriously for the angst factor’ way #but I can’t because of how it’s being said #maybe it’s just me but I can never handle dialogue that’s like ‘you’re useless. you’re just getting in our way.’#because I never find it to be written in a way that like… actually sounds believable that someone would say it like that #and that another person would believe it. maybe that’s just me though #and this book had that whole exchange and I’m like… idk ahaha #I’ll still buy book 2 when it comes out but like damn I was really hoping this would be better #the Tim and Jason dialogue was okay but I did like the little bit of Babs interactions we saw at the beginning #also the art was pretty solid and I liked seeing Tim’s nightmare be the captain boomerang incident which then extended to his other family #I guess I just wish there was more internal thought boxes rather than thjngs said out loud idk #white weasel talks

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 months

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It's dead af at work. We got through our four reservations and have had no walk ins, and my manager won't cut me because he hates doing my job (and we're friends and he knows I need the money) and tbh I don't want to be cut (can't really afford to be) but I'm actually going insane from sitting on my stool, going through Tumblr, Insta, Kindle, then standing up and going through those apps again, then sitting down and going through those apps again, etc. it's nice to get paid to do nothing, because tbh if I was cut then I'd just be doing this but in my bed, but I'm getting so fucking restless.

#truly im unneeded rn #my other manager gave me the option to be cut before my shift even started but again. I'm broke af #so i came in. and im getting paid $15 an hour to scroll through all of my apps #and im trying to be mildly productive #trying to do some resding because i didnt resd as much as i wanted this month #to make up for it i finished three books in the last two days and im going for a fourth #one of them i had already started. one was pretty short. and one was so good that i tore through it fast #this is a more difficult story. about a school shooting. not super fun but a good story nonetheless #you ever read a book and then want to forget it so you can read it for the first time again?#i just read jumper by Melanie Crowder and it was so good. although apparently the diabetes information isnt accurate #but the story was very very good and kept me interested the whole way #the problem with this school shooting story is that its good. it draws my attention. but its understandably very hard to read #fourteen ish minutes until my paycheck goes through and then i find out if i can pay rent this month #that's part of why im restless too. nervous about paying rent. my job hours are unpredictable and so are the paychecks #i think ill be okay but as always im terrified that it wont #anyway im in a bit of a reading rut. if you hsve any book recs (not a big fan of fantasy. generally like realistic fiction. ya. lgbt)#that type of stuff. like jumper. the Miseducation of Cameron Post. message not found. stuff like that #open to recommendations #love yall. i hope you all have more thsn enough money to pay rent

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oldtvandcomics · 6 months

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Happy Queer Media Monday!

Today: Black Trans Fairy Tales Series by S.T. Lynn

I swear I didn’t even realize that it’s trans awareness week when I picked this, I’d just read them recently and they’re AWESOME.

(The three books in order, as seen in my Kindle, after I read them.)

The Black Trans Fairy Tale series consists out of three fairy tale retellings, roughly eighty pages each, based specifically on the Disney version of these stories: Cinder Ella (Cinderella), Mer Made (The Little Mermaid), and Beauty’s Beast (Beauty and the Beast). While they all start out in a familiar way, the stories then quickly take their own path and go off in new and unexpected directions.

They are written by “S.T. Lynn”, which is a pseudonym for author Tami Veldura.

At the time of writing, these books unfortunately only exist in ebook format, through Veldura’s website does list physical copies, both separately for each and for the three as an omnibus.

Aside of their website, Tami Veldura can be found in places like Instagram, and of course here on Tumblr as @tamiveldura.

Queer Media Monday is an action I started to talk about some important and/or interesting parts of our queer heritage, that people, especially young people who are only just beginning to discover the wealth of stories out there, should be aware of. Please feel free to join in on the fun and make your own posts about things you personally find important!

#that's right I can check people's Instagram now because I made myself an account!#Specifically so that I can repost my Queer Media Monday writing somewhere where more people might see it #so anyway this is going to be my first post there! <3 #personal stuff aside: these books really really are good #I said before that I am very sceptical of fairy tale retellings ESPECIALLY when based on something Disney adapted #so it's a surprise to find somethat actually work #but a really nice surprise #it's not just how much the author owns their take on these stories #it's also that they have a really frikking good writing style #can only recommend #these are the kind of books I'd like to buy a second time on paper #I really hope that it will be a possibility at some point #books #fairy tales #fairy tale retelling #Cinderella #The Little Mermaid #Beaty and the Beast #trans fairy tales #Black fairy tales #Black Trans Fairy Tales #book rec #queer books #trans books #Queer Media Monday #transgender awareness week

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ziracona · 1 year

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I know I say this every time I read my own work, but Speak for the Dead really is the best chapter in ILM.

“Well, you know for the first time in a long time this actually feels like fall?”

Jane Romero was smiling at him, sitting propped up against a tree in what had sort of become her usual ‘therapy’ corner in the past almost two weeks. And she was right, it did feel like fall. The air wasn’t as sharply cold as normal, and honestly ‘sharply’ cold was a nice break in and of itself when it happened—usually the weather here was somehow just cold—cold with no adjectives attached. But today it was nicer. It was the kind of waiting fall cold that came when it wasn’t biting outside yet, and it was almost pleasant. A promise of a change in the seasons. Tapp wondered why.

The trees hadn’t started to change color with it, or fall in piles, and as far as he’d gathered there weren’t seasons in here. Everything looked the same. Tall, thick woods, undergrowth and moss and rocks and fallen logs, a slight breeze on and off. Dark sky overhead, full moon, at this point long since throwing off everyone’s idea of what day and night were supposed to mean. All the usual. Except, somehow, the kind of cold in the weather. Who knew, maybe nothing had changed. Maybe they had just started to feel better.

LIKE. Those opening lines mean nothing but environmental flavor when you read them. But they’re a lead in for the thesis of the entire chapter.

“Well, you know for the first time in a long time this actually feels like fall?” - A promise of a change in the seasons. - Who knew, maybe nothing had changed. Maybe they had just started to feel better.

Like that’s it. Speak for the Dead is about a lot of things, but at its heart it’s about healing. It’s about forgiveness and healing, that exists between the living and the dead. It’s about how you can only speak for them, by speaking for them. Not how you want to punish yourself or live for them, but by how you know they would forgive you, or would ask you to live. Very little other than exchanges of information happen, but so much happens at the same time. All of it significant. It’s hope. It’s about how Tapp (and Meg) have spent every day here fighting in their own way to cope with the agony and failure of their lives, and the loss of people they couldn’t save, and have only dug their wounds deeper. About love. About nothing stoping the lambs from screaming except accepting that they want to let you go.

#god I love this chapter so much. literally I can start reading ANY part of it and get hooked. Me every time I re-read the one time in my #life I hit script perfection for an entire chapter straight: 💕💕💕💕💕#in living memory #in living memory (fic)#Speak for the Dead #I’ll never write something that good again maybe and that’s ok. perfection is perfection god I love that chapter #there so much said and so much unsaid. the way he buries Mandy. Adam trying to help. the fact literally never after in the story /does/ Meg #find out that she almsot died in a Jigsaw trap because she was judged for cutting? never. not post fic either. Ace and Tapp silently both #decide to never tell and she /never/ has to know. the way Meg asks if Michael knew Tapp loved him more than the job and that question is #not answered. she just says ‘he loved you’ and accepts that as a more significant one. the whole Jane discussiom. the way Tapp says ‘yes’#/only/ to ‘did it haunt you?’ when asked serious questions and usually just says ‘I don’t know’ if it’s probably true? the way he talks #about himself? the Saw references??? the dead people’s actions existing like ghosts in the script helping charcaters on a meta textual level #bc I only wrote Tapp surviving with a pen tracheotomy bc Peter Strahm did it? the The Silence of the Lambs thing?#all the ethical discussions that are so conceptual and simultaneously concrete in different ways. even the ethics are the dead and the #living mixing together. the way Tapp’s argument the only thing you can do for the dead is to finish their story for them-to do what they’d #been trying to do—doesn’t change? just what that means to him does. the way the entirety of In Living Memory itself is Philip finishing #Vigo’s story because Vigo is dead? and ILM literally /is/ Vigo’s ghost in the void chronicling these events to watch over and to tell this #story about how Philip is a good man. in which he is fulfilling Philip’s goals for him when Philip no longer can. the entire book is about #love and loss and no chapter in as deep a way as Speak for the Dead captures that on such a literal level #the book is the living speaking for the dead. and the dead speaking for the living. & a hope from that. a promise of a change in the seasons #literally. when they make it in V.S. from the eternal october. to finally November.

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