#i just wanted to get this out of my chest yknow | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

freakbullet · 4 months

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when deltarune first came out I bought the OST. I didn't absorb the titles that much because I was basically just listening to the whole thing on repeat. so I'd completely forgotten the name of a certain track, and when I was reminded of it the other day, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I've never really had a home that truly felt like home, for all sorts of bad reasons. but I find comfort in fantasy, especially undertale and deltarune.

2015 was one of the worst years of my life. when it started, despite struggles with PTSD and depression and more of that ilk, I was physically healthy. when the year ended, I'd nearly died - I'd been in and out of hospitals for months while doctors tried to figure out exactly what the hell was wrong with me.

the hopelessness of learning I had an illness I'd have to live with for the rest of my life, on top of the despair I already wrestled with - it was too much. I decided the only way out was to end it all.

but then I played undertale. there's nothing I can say that would ever do that experience justice, but if you know, you know. the point is, I'm still here. despite everything, it's still me. and that's not a coincidence.

so when I saw that this one beautiful, nostalgic track that wraps me up like a warm blanket every time I hear it, that reminds me of the friends, the family, I first made in these games all those years ago, is called, "You Can Always Come Home"… man, I lost it.

Toby once said about Toriel: "Your mom loves you." maybe it's silly, but I never had a mom who loved me, until her. so thanks, Toby. it means so much more to me than you could ever know, that I can always come home to my friends and family, and my mom. who loves me.

#just getting out some feelings #i dont mean for this to sound like a sob story either. im okay dont worry #i just never talk about this and wanted to get it off my chest #ive said in the past that undertale saved my life and i wasnt being hyperbolic lol #also dw this doesnt mean i replay undertale often. i try to leave them with their happy ending #there are other ways i can go home and see them. through music or fanart or videos. or deltarune :p yknow #suicide mention #illness mention #freak speak #if i forgot to tag something triggering please let me know #also /waves at people whose asks i havent answered yet. i havent forgotten you im just low on spoons <3 #wow i had to edit this big time.#why god do i get so CRINGEY any time i try to write something serious. man i am not quitting my day job any time soon

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infizero · 1 year

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god yeah scar was trying to kill people very hard but he really was fixated on trying to kill grian with those tnt minecarts he just kept dropping over and over. like with everyone else he just tried the minecart or mining the block underneath them and if it didnt work he just left them alone and went after someone else but he was like DETERMINED to kill grian with the tnt minecart. erm.

#that one shitpost i made w scar with the ''theres a lot of rage boiling under my skin ready to burst out of my chest but im a chill guy''#post is so real.......... hes acting all silly and goofy as always but then with the lowkey passive aggressive reference to grian's #treatment of him in double life and then this...#i think he definitely was affected a lot more by everything than he appears on the surface..........#which i mean. thats how he always is. just think of the cheating stuff in double life even when confronting grian about it he acted all #passive aggressive and didnt ever actually like get Angry at him yknow #god how i want him to just hit a breaking point and go totally apeshit #serena.txt #limited life #goodtimeswithscar #grian #desertduo

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soldier-poet-king · 7 months

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If no one's got me at least I know getting more tattoos that everyone around me hates has got me

#booked double session first weekend of november #shit is gonna be soooo good #i really just want to make it into a full sleeve #but noooo im being responsible with a half sleeve for employment #which means i had to cut some elements i wanted #maybe one day. i can add the other things i want #im already working on a sun design for my back between the shoulders. close to the chest yknow #im not doing it out of spite im doing it for me #but also i am so tired of being merely tolerated. i want to be loved and liked for me #smthn smth amy spent gladiator ppl will laugh....when they do get new ones in completely garish hues #do it alone do it scared do it weird

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biracy · 8 months

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Tbh I should probably take a break. I almost definitely won't but I should, yknow

#idk i don't have much 'real stuff' happening irl besides like. job hunting and college applications. so it's hard #but i think if i at least ease off some time on here n read a little more n watch more movies i might start to feel better #haven't really liked where my head's been at lately it feels like whatever persona is The One Who Blogs is 'taking over' more #to put it in a very dorky comic book-sounding ass way LMAO but that's how i feel! like i'm losing my own 'voice' yknow #my mental health is Bad my physical health is also Not Great n i kinda feel like ass. if i'm being honest #idk i feel like i'm crashing from whatever high i've been on for the past couple of days n i'm not Really super happy w myself #except the media literacy posts those were good. but like the more discoursey stuff i'm not proud of #again sorry to like. publicly vent LMAO i'll be fine i'm good. i'm trying really hard to pull myself out of this #but again. sorry abt the Shite i was posting earlier today i wasn't really in my own right head #just kinda wanted 2 get all that off my chest idk if it's clear that i don't really have anyone i feel like i can talk to right this moment #i'm very socially isolated irl and i'm so scared of becoming socially isolated online too just bc i'm an idiot who doesn't think b4 he post #NOT to make it sound all about me or whatever but it's true. i'm very very scared of losing people n right now this is My Space #i'd forgotten just how bad it felt. in this Specific case it is kinda my fault tho LMAO don't worry i've apologized as best i know how #okay i'm done. i'm done. i'm gonna go watch tv and go to bed i hope #open mick night

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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months

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Why do I say things like this. Like what was the need. Why do I feel the need to jinx myself. What was the reason.

#lol just looking thru my drawings and i saw that tag #and im like YOU! ITS YOUR FAULT IM BURNT OUT! I BLAME YOU(catie from that specific day)#anyways trying to draw nando and ITS NOT GOING WELL YKNOW #i still really struggle with drawing real people #seb is okay bcs ive drawn him the most and like have stared at his face for hours so...familiar...yeah...#and i do in fact look at a fuckton of nando pics BUT GOD HIS FACE IS SO DIFFICULT #he just has very like odd features i guess. AND HES VERY HANDSOME FOR IT but god they do not lend to easy drawing #i miss oc drawing where theres no accuracy really required since its all from my head #not that im never drawing ocs again. theyre still my beloved but i dont rly have any ideas atm for them :<#wanna draw rüß as an f1 driver tbh bcs ive been maladaptive daydreaming about that for the past few weeks #but as you know im somewhat allergic to drawing racesuits 😭#also im wondering if drawing chibis so much fucked up my sense of style bcs now i struggle sometimes w proportions #i just. dont want to be burnt out anymore. i know its something you cant really force yourself thru #and also that you shouldn't force yourself cause it just makes it worse but #idk. i wanna draw so badly 😭 and i do it and sometimes it works out and sometimes im just staring at the screen like. oh.#i want to also finish the pt 2 to the boy king ficlet. i always randomly add a few paragraphs to it #blah blah anyways just thinking. i feel a bit frustrated and unfufilled atm i guess #like that feeling in your chest of tightness. its the worst. i wanna throw something or break something i guess #PLEASE JUST LET ME DRAW MY PORTRAIT OF KING NANDO IM BEGGING #he'll be so pretty okay 😭😭 i just cant get his fucking face right #ignore me ignore me. catie is: going through it #i miss the sense of urgency that drawing before my flight gave me #i like having that sense of incentive and deadline. like: you genuinely need to finish this right now.#if not then its me creating meaningless deadlines in my head that actually make me have worse burn out 🙃#i love how before texas im like i am going to finsih all my wips!! anf then finished exactly: zero #catie.rambling.txt

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1980ssunflower · 1 year

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My baby dumpling 💙✨

#f/o:💙hide in your shell🎹#tape entry circa 1980 #mi bebe mi vida mi min-gi 💙💙💙#i was gushing abt him last night and calling him my dumpling suddenly came up and felt so natural to me #it was the same when i first called him mi peluchito #like sol told me i just love his softness hgdfjs #siighh i just want to bury my face in his chest rn as he holds me close #itd be nice to put on a record and listen to it while we cuddle #then a song min particularly loves comes on and he'll light up #softly singing along to it while tapping along to the song on my skin #me and min share a lot of soft quiet moments when its the two of us #but i especially love it when min just gets so happy and excited #a new movie out hes excited abt or a new album he needs me to check out #just seeing the way his eyes light up and how cute his voice sounds when hes happy and excited #his laugh... it makes me melt #he feels like warm sunbeams bathing down on me #when youre just a bit chilly and the sunlight hits you warming you up just perfectly #he feels like that perfection #his hands are so warm #which is nice but isnt always ideal yknow jgfdks #but what i love so so much abt him is... he feels so much like home. in a way i cant describe completely #he feels so safe. when he holds me in his arms i feel like nothing else in the world can touch me #i cant describe the complete sense of ease i feel when he holds me #its so so indescribably wonderful #i love his dark warm eyes... it feels like a dream staring into them #eyes that express so much fondness and compassion #he feels like a warm blanket enveloping me. he feels like that warmth that fills your chest when you drink hot tea #he feels like my home

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milimeters-morales · 1 year

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miles voice training in secret and then finally getting confident/comfortable enough to talk like that around his mom and a few other spider-people (lies face down on the ground and begins to wail so so loudy)

#transfem miles #LITERALLY SHES ON MY MIND… I CAMT GET OVER HOW I NEVER SAW THIS BEFORE!!!!!???#AAUAAGGFHHH #also i was thinking of him maybe stuffing a sports bra that gwen maybe lends him or he secretly buys it. with socks or other padding #MAYBE JUST FOR A LITTLE CHEST… LIKE. MAYBE. IN THE SUIT. BECAUSE YKNOW HE DOENST ALWAYS WANT THEM AND CAN CONTROL HOW MUCH THERE IS #gwen when she realizes she has someone to give all her fem clothes to: we are here to celebrate the size of this absolute W #BUT IDK??? IF LIKE. LIKE OF COURSE THATS WAY DOWN THE LINE. AND AN OCCASIONAL THING #BC GOING ON HRT IS SUCH A COMMITMENT AND. HES NOT EVEN OUT YET #spiderman #miles morales #spider man #rio morales

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florenceisfalling · 11 months

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don't worry guys if you're ever in a bad place emotionally and seeking guidance some woman with an entirely different outlook on life than you will thrust shitty advice upon you whether you like it or not and then make you feel completely fucking awful about her wealth of wisdom that she is so genuinely convinced she has despite not having any idea . this will make the bad place so much more bad also

#this is the last thing i am posting related to the events of my day i dont think i will ever get over just how insane it was but i hope #things will improve bc the lady is someone who i am very close with #i just always sorta balanced her out with my mother and that is not currently possible #i dont want to be angry at her anymore but it was so genuinely bad. like what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck #yknow a lot of bad things have happened where im able to put myself in the other persons shoes and go ''yeah sure'' like #theres a reason i forgave most the ppl who made my life hell ages 6-14 #but this was so unreasonable. i literally cannot even fathom why she would do that outside of ''she wasnt thinking she was just doing''#because people arent reasonable and thats usually the explanation why stuff happens that you can't understand #i would not let anyone else speak to me like that and i honestly should not have let her speak to me like that but we live on #its not the healthy or godly thing to keep this on my chest nor put it out for others to see but it literally shook me so bad #on the bright side #usually i shake when im angry like literally physically shake #and i didnt this time! cried though! not when she was in the room idk what my body was doing #i like definitely was not the guy in control of my body for a while there #i still dont think i am i keep doing little things and going hmmm i dont think im florence rn #but it was . something.

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ayyponine · 11 months

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girl help im going back n forth on whether or not i should send an email to thank the beautiful man fr letting me join the drawing session last week (more info on that entire situation here and here) and letting him know i probably wont be back but appreciate having had the experience either way. great or horrible idea leave a comment or DM to lmk.

#anyway more nuance on the whole situation is this. i am very single and this guy keeps being on my mind but i do not have any read on him #the last contact we had was me makin an ass of myself by going like hehe yeah this was nice everyone was nice ok yall have a nice evenin bye #while my heart was like visibly pounding out of my chest and u could probably see on my face i was internally thinking girl shut UP!!! LEAVE #so im like ok either hes weirded out by me so let me say thx AGAIN now in a composed way AND giving him peace of mind knowing i wont be back #unless?? i was not as awkward as i thought & get reassured i can return any time and then i could still b like thanks! and just Not go #i mean even then he might say it's fine even if he IS uncomfrtable w me just to 1. be nice and 2. make money w a participant locked in yknow #it does NOT help that the line btwn casual and professional was like NOT there btw its him just hosting the event as we all do our art idkkk #anyway if you THINK youve PROBABLY been a lil off is it better to 1. have a do-over and get closure or 2. fuck off forever hoping u never #like EVER run into the dude again and be awkward AGAIN bc well! u live in the same city and are both into art so?? there IS a possibility #I CAN SEE THE PROS AND CONS OF BOTH OPTIONS REALLY #yay for sending email: get a response get some clarity NOW. nay for sending email: girl u met him twice. please. leave the stranger alone <3 #the one positive abt me feeling Dumb and Embarrassing is at least every time i think back i heave a Big Ole Sigh. feels nice tbh feels good #sad part is i rediscovered how much i love doing art and want to improve. would love to return it was so cheap.. pleek ill get over my crush

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jankwritten · 1 year

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vent post time pardners

part of my issues with the way I experience time is that one day to everybody else can feel like literal WEEKS for me. It's not every day, but some days, especially when I spend most of it writing or inside, not interacting with people, I feel as if I've gone multiple days/weeks without talking to anybody.

this then exacerbates my issues/fears that if somebody doesn't talk to me much for a day, they suddenly hate me. so if I'm perceiving one day wherein I don't talk to people much as more like 10-11 days, all of a sudden I'm panicking that everyone hates me and never wants to talk to me again because I've only said maybe 2-3 things to them over the course of what is, IRL, only one day. because I'm perceiving that to be ten times longer instead of the actual span of time that it is.

does this make literally any sense. is this like, a common occurrence for other people? i would like for it to stop pls, because it really fuckin tanks my mental health and i'm So Tired of that happening.

(more vent in the tags)

#tw vent post #is this an ADHD thing?#i just really need to stop tying my emotional state to the idea of how many people like me still also #like i need to stop relying on other people to make myself feel better #but I also don't know how to do THAT because so much of what makes me feel alright is like. sharing things with people.#so i don't know how to sort that out and make it so i'm not tying all of my emotional state to how people respond to me yknow?#it doesn't help that when i get into these one-day-is-twenty-days states my brain starts scrambling and i stop thinking coherent thoughts #i think what i really need is just. A Therapist lmao #but for now i will simply shout it into the tumblr void as i do #sometimes it's nice to just get the feelings out so they stop burning a hole in my chest yknow #none of this is helped by the fact that i feel like i can't talk to any of the people i actually LIVE WITH about how i feel #because my dad while trying is not super supportive of my gender exploration which makes me wary to talk to him about ANYTHING #even though i know he would be able to help me out with mental illness type stuff #i just don't trust him even though i love him so much #and ofc i don't want to burden any of my friends with any of this shit because none of it feels substantial. like i know i'll feel better #tomorrow and i won't ever even think about this again because that's just How I Am #but right now i just want it all to stop. lobotomy sounds so sexy and cool /hj

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seithr · 4 months

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fbfghfthbbhtff

illness talk / medicine / family associated stuff i dont know

#i just want my folks to be nice to me sometimes. i'm not a bad person for being sick and wanting help. im not doing this for attention #my chest and ribs ache and so much as looking at my inhaler and antibios to help with it brought the 'youre like an addict' talk again.#yknow the one last here when i still needed help for depression. talking to me like i'm stupid or saying i want to be drugged up...#they insisted i revisit the doc for another perscrip after this ran out for my pneumonia and now i'm. disgusting for it.#i'm being dramatic about A Little Cold where coughing and breathing near made me cry at work #my managers and every coworker conspiring to make my whole shift a break cause they saw it hurt so bad that day but #but here it's just. attention. 'no one can tell you to stop! a trooper! proud of you!' and when i need help/get TOLD to ask for it... this #always this. always weak. always just wanting meds. i hate what antivax bullshit has done to how they already are to me.#its one of those nights again. sorry. my heart aches again and i thought id finally at least be bodily better soon. now im nauseous #and my head hurts. i wish i could go to work n was healthy enough to so wouldnt need to think anymore at least. remember i exist this way #delete later #i don'tbknow how to tw this. im sorry.

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leadendeath · 6 months

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mental health problems and art rant who giv a shit

i've done toony styles before throughout my long time in doing art, and i really want to continue drawing toony styles now.

i feel like i have to strive to make my art look as good as possible, but that's a sisyphean task. i haven't been having fun with art, it's a chore.

i feel like it shows i've been trying too hard. with furry side of things, i've been trying to learn to draw lots of different species- all which takes time. and different body types- which takes time, too- mainly muscle, which is really hard to make it look right, and i think you need to actually learn in-depth anatomy and study equally in-depth diagrams n stuff to really succeed. sucks when you can't draw something you like ://

i've been trying to get better at all these things for 2-3 years, and i haven't seen progress. it's not exactly encouraging.

but when i stop trying with those things? it's like a relief. maybe in more time i'll find a balance between what i call "technical" (meaning muscle, basically) and "toony".

am i being lazy? probably. i can't help but feel like i am. but i'm actually having a good time now. so i don't know if i care :)

#this perfectionism i have is hell #ive always known art is a compulsion for me- i literally am not able to quit even if i wanted to-#but im really realizing Now just how tied to 0cd it actually is #im coming out about having that more; i told a friend the name of the disorder (By Name) for the first time the other day #and it feels weirdly better... like getting it off your chest yknow #im going to a specialist in a few weeks about the disorder im coming to terms with having :)!#because hopefully this is obvious but it causes unbearable repetitive thoughts + problems other than whining about my art skills LOL #and there's no distraction its too much this is just 1 comparitively smaller part of it (just had to clarify on that lol)#i NEVER make drs appointments and ive never had real therapy or any other help (apart from several Wrong meds in the past) so this is BIG #so maybe i'll continue to be more optimistic about art once i get my brain chemicals balanced out a bit #i didnt realise before now either that 0cd's linked to a chemical called noradrenaline WHICH IS LINKED TO YOUR DOPAMINE LEVELS... oh my god #it's all low dopamine? always has been.#still aiming for a ɑdhd diagnosis/assessment but for now this is something #and at least in my country 0cd is easier to get treatment for than ɑdhd #art talk #and more wow what a deal

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mysicklove · 7 months

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𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋!

DAY 18: DRY ORGASM

With: Yuuta Okkotsu

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Sub! Yuuta, gn! reader, multiple orgasm, sorta mentions of cnc? idk, "breeder balls" are used in a silly goofy way, pregnancy mentioned, yuuta cums a total of six times, unrealistic portrayal of dry orgasms.

A/N: i almost named this fic breeder balls just to mess with all you guys. kinktober is driving me crazy

“It will be fun. C’mon, just trust me!” You tease, pressing kisses along Yuuta’s neck while he sighs. You sit behind him, hands resting on his stomach while you continue to pepper kisses along his neck. One of his weaker points.

He lets out a shaky breath and then whines gently. “I don’t know…I-It sounds kinda scary.”

“Aw, scary? C’mon, my big, strong, sorcerer boyfriend isn’t afraid of anything,” You quip, teeth grazing his pale skin when you smile into his back.

Your hands begin to roam up and down his body, and he gulps but doesn’t stop you. He does let out a noise of complaint about your choice of words though. “Yknow that isn’t true,” He mumbles out, pouting slightly.

You pinch his nipples, and he lets out a high-pitched squeal before turning to you with a half-hearted glare. “Sorry, they are too cute.”

He sighs, slumping against your chest and closing his eyes. “You're the worst.”

“Aw, you don’t mean that. You love me.”

He glances at you before rolling his eyes and nodding softly. Yeah, he did, even with all your teasing.

“Yuutaaaaa,” You purr, getting back to the main point. “Let’s do it.”

He hums, nodding for you to continue to try to convince him. He was still unsure and slightly nervous at the thought.

“You will look so cute. Haven’t you always wanted to cum like a girl? To have every ounce of cum milked out of you,” You bite his ear, earning a whole body shiver from the boy. “Forced out of you. Till you’re shooting blanks.”

That immmediately perks him up, and he cranes his head backward to look up at you with a sheepish grin. He already feels himself growing hard.

“F-Forced?”

You grin.

“No more! No more! Please!” He screeches, tears and drool coating his face and falling onto the sheets below him. He was heaving, and he feels like every inch of his body was covered in cum. His thighs and stomach were so sticky, and he was unbelievably sweaty.

Shaky legs try to crawl forward, away from your tortuous hands, but he ultimately fails. You use one arm to grab him by the waist and pull him back. “Where do you think you are going?”

He lets out a pathetic “Noooo!” as his fingers drag along the sheets back toward you. His thighs shake as he tries to hold his body up, and he buries his face into a pillow.

You hum to yourself, sitting cross-legged and fully clothed, contrasting your lover’s naked body. His knees straddle your legs, giving you a perfect sight of his ass and easier access to pull him back whenever he tries to crawl away.

His thighs, stomach, balls, and even your hand were coated with his cum, and is beginning to dry up from how long its been. But nevertheless, your hands continue to work at his cock, pulling it slightly downward so that it hangs between his open legs.

Yuuta lets out a choking noise, a mix between a gargle and a yelp, and suddenly he is cumming again. He doesn’t say anything as his orgasm comes crashing upon him again, but you weren’t surprised – he went borderline nonverbal after the third one.

His chest rises and falls with his rapid breathing, and you watch his whole body tense up. His tears stain the pillow, and his mouth hangs open in a silent scream. The only thing that showed that he was in pleasure was the way his nails dug into the sheets as if he wanted to tear them apart from how intense the sensation was.

You frown through it all, and watch two globs of cum slide down your finger. His legs give out, and he begins to slump on the bed, but you are quick to grab him and hold his waist up with your arm. “Am I–Did I? Are we d-done?” He stutters, his voice raw from his previous screams and cries. You hear him sniffle and watch the way a shaky arm rubs at his nose.

You lightly slap his thigh. “Nope. Almost there, Yuuta! The next one will definitely be dry. Think I got the last couple of drops,” You say, pointing to his cum staining your hand.

He looks up at you with wide, fearful eyes and starts squirming in your hold. “No! I can’t go anymore. A-And you said that the last couple of times!” He screeches, legs kicking out like a toddler throwing a tantrum, trying desperately to run away from your hold.

Your hands remain on his waist, and you move your body aside so that he doesn’t accidentally kick you with his frantic, panicked movements. His dick was raw at this point, and every muscle was trembling. He couldn’t go again – he was exhausted, completely pushed to his limits.

“Hey, hey, hey. Relax. This time I'm really sure! How many times have you ejaculated?”

He pauses for a moment, gulping as he thinks back to the previous events. “I think after that…Five times?”

You giggle at him, and the sound makes him tense up. Whenever he is put in these positions, and you laugh, it never is a good sign for him. “Woah, Yuuta, you really have a lot of cum stored up. I’ve heard that most men go dry after their third one…Don’t tell me your pent up?” You babble, passing time to hopefully let his body rest for a moment. Overstimulating him would probably kill the dark-haired boy.

He sniffles again, and then furrows his eyes and turns back toward you. “Im not, though. Came two days ago, remember?”

You think back to the night and chuckle fondly. “Yeah, I guess your right. Guess my lovely boyfriend just has breeder balls.” You laugh at yourself from the ridiculous word.

His mouth hangs open at your crude words, and he turns a bright shade of pink. Immediately, he tries to scramble out of your hold again, but you just laugh at his flustered noises. “Why would you say something like that? So embarrassing…And no, I don’t,” Your boyfriend complains, shaking his head back and forth to execute his point.

You hum to yourself, content that he has finally calmed down again, at least enough to put up and actively respond to your teasing words.

“Bet you could get any girl pregnant,” You continue to coax, mind drifting off from your words to return to your original motive. You begin to situate yourself again, hands moving back to the task at hand.

“Stop it, please! It’s so,” He groans into the pillow, unaware that you have begun to stand up. “I don’t know! Just sto–” Suddenly, his head is being forced into the pillow, and your hand is back onto his cock. Your movements are rough and fast, and his whole body seems to short-circuit.

Yuutas eyes widen as he feels the back of your hand pin his head into the pillow, and he feels your hands wrap around his dick again. He doesn’t even have time to react, except for a surprised yelp. By the time his brain catches up to the sensation, you have already palmed him four times now, and he is so sensitive. “W-Wait!” He begs, tears resurfacing.

The sound of your hand wrapping around his red cock is lewd. Loud squelching sounds fill the room, and he knows that the wetness is from his previous cum. It makes your head spin, and Yuuta wants to die from embarrassment.

Your hand finally lets go of his neck, and he pulls away immediately, gasping out for air. His back arches, and he begins his clawing at the bedsheets again. “F-Fuck,” Your lover whimpers, tears free streaming again.

His cock feels raw by now. Five orgasms in a row was an insane amount to him. The farthest he had gone before this was three, before he was forced to call it quits, or else risking him passing out. Right now, his mind seemed to be melting from the harsh feeling.

You have to support his body still by hoisting his hips upward. His forehead touches the sheets, and his bangs cover his face as he looks downward. It was almost disappointing that you couldn’t see his pretty expressions, but from what you could see by his sporadic movements, Yuuta was crumbling.

It hurt. Your hands were too rough. The pace was too intense. He can’t think anymore. His mouth hangs open, and his tongue threatens to loll out. All he can hear is your hands and his cum, and honestly, although he hates to admit it, it was spurring him closer to his orgasm.

Just one more. He can do that. He can cum one more time. Everything in him pleads for it to be dry, because he may seriously die if he has to go a seventh round.

So, with everything in him, he begins to grind into your hand, trying to coax his orgasm to come quicker. He lets out a silent scream, and he furrows his eyes shut but doesn’t stop fucking back into your hand.

You watch with amusement at the trembling boy’s movements. He was trying his best, and it was honestly quite cute. Just for him, you pick up the pace of your hand movements.

The reaction to it is immediate – the muscular body curls over on itself as he heaves. You bring him closer to you, now using both hands to jack him off, hoping he doesn’t collapse just for a couple more seconds.

Yuuta’s eyes roll back, and he can faintly hear your encouragements. “C’mon, love. Just one more. Cum for me one more time.”

He bites onto the pillow and nods his head, unable to give you a reply. He can feel his orgasm approaching, and frankly, it scared him. It was going to be a strong one, he could tell, and he was unsure if his body was able to take it. He was already shaking at this point, could his muscles really constrict one more time? He could barely hold himself up.

He doesn’t have time to dwell on it, because his orgasm hits him out of the blue. For the first time since his second orgasm, Yuuta screams into the pillow. His thighs come squeezing together, and his fingers dig into anything they can grab. Tears continue to rush down his face, and he tries his best to breathe.

His knees come forward, and accidentally, he raises his hips higher into the air, creating a pretty arch in his back. You watch, mesmerized by the show, and then glance at his cock.

Not a single drop of cum is let out. You grin, and rub his thighs, coaxing him through it all, proud of him.

He slumps against the bed and this time you let him. Then, he very slowly turns to you, eyes cloudy. “I–I?” He tries, brain not catching up with him.

“Yep, good job. Came dry. I’m so proud of you.”

He gives you a lazy, but satisfied grin, nodding slightly. You crawl over to him, sitting down next to his head. He places his near-limp hand on your knee, and you hold onto it. “Guess…Guess I–No breeder balls for me,” He mumbles in full seriousness, as if he is proud of the fact.

You have to cover your mouth to refrain from laughing too loud. You place your head over his eyes, shutting them for him. “Guess not. Sleep, Yuuta.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” He falls asleep not even a minute later. You don’t blame him.

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#mello.writes #Barkforme!#Kinktober 2023 #dom! reader #dom reader #gn reader #x reader #reader insert #yuuta smut #yuta x reader #yuta smut #yuuta okkotsu x reader #yuuta okkotsu smut #jjk smut #jjk x reader #sub! yuuta #sub yuuta #jjk x reader smut

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l13 · 9 months

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hmm idk this is fluffy but i feel like ghost would secretly melt every time his gf would call him ‘angel’

wdym i love fluffff, send me fluffy asks i love emm:(

cw: pure fluff, f!reader

imagine you and ghost are cuddling, nd you're laying on your back with his hands wrapped around your middle, his head resting against your chest while you're talking about random stuff. And suddenly, nicknames come up, and you realize that you always call him either Simon or Ghost, despite him using 'lovie/love, baby, sweeatheart' regularly on you. Well... most of them were spoken in private, away from prying eyes, but STILL.

You were in shock that you'd never chosen anything for him, and kinda offended on behalf of him, too. He chuckled at your behavior, saying he really didn't care, but you insisted that he needed something. So you started to list off potential nicknames for him,

"Ghostie-"

"Absolutely not."

"Yeah that's bad, umm oh!! You can be my pookie bear,"

he nudged your side softly, the corner of his lips quirking up in amusement "Stop it."

"I'm just playing. I can call you love, too, yknow. You're my love."

You run your fingers through his hair, smiling dumbly at the way you feel his breath hitch, but then he's huffing "That's your nickname, love, you can't have it."

"But I do have it-"

"I have it, and it's for you,"

you purse your lips to stop yourself from laughing, rolling your eyes "Fine." he hums in reply, and you're both quiet for a while, so much so that you think he's fallen asleep.

But then an idea pops into your head and your eyebrows shoot up, "What about angel?"

Ghost doesn't say anything but you can hear the sharp inhale of his nose, his hands tightening the slightest bit around you "Nah,"

you pout down at him, tilting your head to try and get a glimpse of his face, "Why not?"

"Just doesn't fit me, 's all." and you would have let it go if his reply had been different, but your gut told you that he was 100% serious,

"Simon.. Look at me," he refused to do so, so you tugged at his hair the slightest bit, and he groaned lowly, turning over so his chest is flush against your own, supporting his weight on his forearms on either side of your head, his nose nudging your own.

your fingers fall from in between his hair, down to his cheeks, to cradle them in your palms as you look at him "You're an angel."

Ghost huffs, "An angel that kills people, sure,"

"Well... in Supernatural that's the norm-"

"Fuckin' hell.." he's rolling his eyes, a grin tugging at his lips nonetheless.

You narrow your eyes at him playfully, "Rule's changed, you don't get a say in this. I'm gonna call you angel, and that's final."

"Great." a snort escapes you at his dryness, and you giggle when he nuzzles his face against your cheek, planting a soft kiss on your cheekbone.

"I want more enthusiasm or else it's gonna change to pookie bear-"

Simon leans back to fully look at you, his eyebrows shot up, eyes seemingly glinting with mock interest "Changed my mind, angel's growin' on me."

"Thought so,"

The next day when you walk in the mission brief room (idk wtf to call it, meeting room??) you mumble a small "Hey, angel," and maybe your brain is still foggy from sleep or maybe you genuinely didn't think much of it, but Soap's cackle is immediate, "Hey bon, listen I'm lovin' the new name but take me out to dinner first, yeah?"

Ghost's dumb grin fades in a millisecond at soap's comment and before he's realizing what he's doing he lets his hand brush your own as you pass by him, and then he's meeting Soap's stunned eyes, "She's talking to me,"

Soap still doesn't know what the fuck is going on when Ghost turns to you, muttering a small "Hi, lovie," your way,

#•ूᡣ𐭩 — ghost #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader

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ynsvnte · 3 months

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Oh! Nerdy Boy! - Lee Heeseung

Genre: smut (18+ MDNI!!) fluff, college, classmates to fwb

word count: 1k+

warnings: unprotected sex. Fingering, nipple sucking, pet names creampie. Swearing. Teasing. Kissing

pairing: nerdtutor!hee x fem!reader

Masterlist

You tapped your pen lightly onto the table, stressing over the question. You didn’t get it and recently you’ve been failing this class. Only if you had a tutor. You could just ask the nerdy boy. Lee Heeseung, but you don’t want to seem like a loser.

“I’m failing..do I really have a choice?” You asked yourself. You were desperate to get your grade up. Having someone smart like him wouldn’t be so bad. You get up and start walking towards him. “Hey..” you spoke up. Catching Heeseung’s attention, he looks up at you, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah?” He said ever so gently. You could melt right away. “So I kind of, well not kind of, I have an offer for you..” you spoke awkwardly. Heeseung hums signaling for you to continue. “I was wondering. If you could perhaps Yknow…umm tutor me..?” You were panicking inside. Please say yes.. you thought to yourself. You were lost in your thoughts, overthinking, heeseung response cut your thoughts off.

“Sure..” Wait, really? you were shocked. “Oh my gosh! Thank you so much I’ll make sure to pay you!” Gosh you were so excited, now you don't have to seem like a disappointment to anyone.

And ever since that day heeseung has been tutoring you every week. Your grades were decent, but you still wanted to be near him. Having spent a lot of time together, made you want him closer and closer. You would try to tease him. By of course the classic wearing tiny shorts. That would have your ass barely covered with a tiny tank top, that would barely hold your tits in. Sometimes you wear normal shirts but without a bra leaving your nipples bare free for him to see.

Heeseung of course took notice of your teasing, but he never said anything. Not wanting to seem rude. But after months and months of teasing. He hasn’t done anything yet. And today will be that day. Just like any other day heeseung came over to your place where you both had the tutor sessions. He knocked on your door until you opened. With of course clothes that could barely hide your nude body as a whole. He greets you stepping foot inside and heads to the living room.

“Soo…” Heeseung says, as he sees you reach out for your laptop. He can see your panties. Smirking at the sight of them. You sit back down and open up your laptop. And so the tutor session begins. But not 15 minutes in and you’re already “dropped” your pen so you bend over reaching for it. Giving heeseung a nice view of your ass. So he takes the chance grabbing you by your hips and settles you onto his lap. Pressing his raging boner against your clit.

“You think I wouldn’t notice sweetheart..hm..?” You were speechless.. “Aweee cat got your tongue, you seem so bold to wear such skimpy clothes and yet don’t have anything to say?” He teases you. Fuck you can feel yourself getting wet. “I-I’m sorry..” Pathetic.. Heeseung would've punished you. But you look so cute and all flustered. He grabs you and flips you around, caging you between his arms while you're trapped between him and the sofa. Heeseung begins pulling down your skirt revealing your soaked panties. He also removes your top, leaving you only in your underwear. Heeseung kisses you harshly, making you moan into his mouth. The kiss doesn’t last long before heeseung goes down and starts sucking on your nipples, making you gasp.

“F-fuck..hee-“ heeseung moans onto your chest. He’s busy sucking one while his hands play with the other. Heeseung boner is raging. So he pulls away from your tits. And quickly removes his own clothes. While he’s naked and returns back to you. Gripping you panties..

“Can I?” He asked to which you nodded. He removes your panty. Heeseung smiles at the sight of your cunt. He grazes his finger on top of your cunt, collecting your wetness, before plunging in a finger inside of you. You moan out loud. Already going dumb.

“Hee- fuck feels so good…” you start playing with yours tits. Pleasure taking over your body. You. And feel your high coming really fast. To which made heeseung pull out his fingers, making you whine.

“Ah no no. You won’t be coming on my finger. Instead you’ll be coming on my cock..” Jeez this man. Heeseung grabs his cock and begins stroking the base. Moaning before he gets to your entrance..tip near he looks up at you

“You ready?” You eagerly nodded making him push himself inside of your tight hole. You gasp out loud. His size being a little above average. He still pushes until he’s fully inside of you. He waits waiting for you to get used to his size. He leans in kissing you to make you feel better. He pulls away watching your face for any sign of discomfort. That’s when you speak. “You can move..” and so he does. At first his thrusts were slow. Before he begins to pick up his pace.

“Fuck yn..such a tight little pussy, all for me..” he buries his face into your neck. The sound of skin slapping is so loud the neighbors can probably hear it. Along with your moans. Your eyes are rolling back for too much pleasure. You can feel your high coming again..

“M-hm so close..” you moan.. “Shh hold it longer for a bit…I want to cum together..” you could only nod your head. Enjoying the pleasure of his tip hitting your g-spot over and over. But sooner heeseung can feel that he is close too. “Yn..holy shit I’m close..” he speaks near your ear. He quickened his pace. Making you both moan out loud. And soon enough you feel him fill you up. You moan at the feeling of his cum inside. Also slightly cringing from it leaking out of you. Heeseung is full of sweat, but lies on your chest. Gasping for air.

“That was good…” heeseung said.. to which you only nodded your head too. He looks up at you smiling.. “This isn’t a one time thing right?” He asked you..

“No…why would it be..?” You giggled..

“Good..I loved the way your pussy was sucking me in..” he said shamelessly

“Oh my heeseung!!” You said flushed. He smiled at you enjoying your reaction.

Author’s Note: first ever smut hehe umm it’s 1 am and need to sleep so goodbye I hope you like? I suck at smut sooo bare with me PLEASE!!!

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