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controloffandoms · 3 years

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Buck Begins Fic Recs

For @thisissirius

Here are a couple of fics that I have written. And I’ll probably add a couple of favorites that I’ve read along the way!

Nothing I Ever Did Was Good Enough

Buck bit his tongue, looking away from his father. It was too early in their get together to have a blow out. He especially didn’t want to have that blowout in front of Chim and Albert. “You know, firefighting, until recently, has had a huge amount of off duty suicides due to improper care of mental health. The department has changed to help firefighters through hard times of losing patients or families in fires by hiring departmental psychologists and having service animals available for visits to the firehouses after really tough calls. If someone isn’t in the right mindset, we could lose more people, not to mention our own people and that person. Mental health is no joke,” Albert stated. Buck had to hide is smile, but he turned to Albert, giving him a knowing look and small smile. His parents spluttered for a few seconds before Phillip turned to Albert. “I don’t think I was talking to you. Mind your own business, this was a family matter.” “Don’t talk to him like that,” Buck nearly growled. “He is family.”

~~Or the one where the parents visit and Buck is in over his head...luckily his family has his back.

~~~~Part 1 in the Nothing I Ever Did Was Good Enough series

Nothing I Ever Did-

~~~~Part 2 in the Nothing I Ever Did Was Good Enough series

"Watch your attitude, Evan," Margaret glared. "Why should I? All you've ever done is put me down and compare me to Maddie and try to make me into her. News flash, I'm my own person and I'm different! I get that nothing I ever did was good enough, but I don't have to keep trying to appease you and let you walk on me or my family. So if you could kindly drop the attitude and rude comments regarding Eddie and Christopher, it would be much appreciated. They invited you into their home and you've been nothing but assholes since you got here! Clearly you came here with opinions and baggage and a want to have your way, but that's not going to fly here. You best just head out of town tonight, you're not wanted here in my life or Maddie's life. We don't want your toxicity melting into our families because I'll be damned if the shit you've said tonight will ever affect my niece or my kid!"

~~Or the one where Eddie hosts the Buckley parents and just tries to be supportive in general...but the parents are nightmares. Featuring cuddles with Chris, Eddie, and Buck.

Not The One You Wanted

“Evan, I don’t know what you expected us to do.”

“Love me anyway,” it had been said like his heart had been ripped out...which, it felt like it had. Because that was the truth, wasn’t it...all he ever wanted was for them to love him anyway. He wanted his parents to give a damn about him but they never did...it was like he was a responsibility that they never wanted.

Maddie had said that their parents had been different back then when they were sentimental and made a box for her...and now Buck knew why. Daniel. His older brother Daniel...a brother that he didn’t even know existed until he sat down with Maddie to look at all the baby photos in the box...and there were plenty...Buck can hardly remember ever getting portraits like these done during his childhood….but his parents were different back then.

-OR- Evan Buckley deserves love and hugs because of how shitty his parents are.

*This is honestly one of my favorites that I’ve written...it’s like a character study while Buck was trapped in the warehouse with some liberties surrounding the reason Buck’s in the warehouse*

Secrets

He’d been lied to his whole life...Maddie had never thought to tell him about not being his actual sister...his parents were acting like it didn’t matter...like he should just get over it. Buck’s eyes met Chim’s...and his whole body went rigid. “You knew,” he whispered, looking directly at Chim. “You knew and you didn’t tell me?!” He rounded on his sister, “you told him, but not me?!”

“Evan, I was trying to protect you-”

“No, you don’t get to do that! You don’t get to try and protect me! I’m a grown ass adult, I deserved to know but instead of telling me, you told him and even though I’ve known him longer he still didn’t tell me!” Buck shook his head, backing from the room. “I can’t do this,” he whispered.

-OR- Buck finds out the secret Maddie's been keeping from him while his parents are visiting...he is understandably betrayed.

*Basically, Buck Begins and the Daniel scenes hadn’t happened yet and I wanted to know what the secret was, so I came up with this.*

Ambush of the Parents

Based off the new Promo (or the one I just saw) where we see Maddie, Chim, Albert, Buck and (who I believe) are Buck and Maddie’s Parents. Buck’s dad says “you’ve been seeing a therapist?” and Buck responds “Well, the job can be stressful.”

Disclaimer: Please don't read if verbal abuse from parents triggers you.

~~~~Or Buck’s parents are absolutely horrible and Buck’s family defends him.

Buck Begins

Buck always tried to please his parents. He wanted to be recognized and loved. He tried to get their approval but it was never enough. *Includes flashbacks, this was before Season 4 was even in production*

~Evan had thought that the SEALs would make his parents proud. He tried out for the SEALs, he went through training, but it still wasn’t enough. Then he’d dropped out. That had been the icing on the cake. Evan had never had a big blowout with his parents. He’d always tried to appease them. He tried to be the perfect son…but they never thought he was good enough. So when he dropped out of the SEALs, having a shouting match with his father as a consequence, he left for South America. He bartended and had fun. Then he’d gone to LA and became a firefighter and he hadn’t contacted his parents since the blowout.

Here are some fic recs that are not my own works

double vision wrapped in last night’s party clothes by amirlywritingfanficnow

"I have always been honest with you." When Eddie's voice cracks, Buck's composure almost cracks with it. "Why can't you just be honest with me?"

When Buck is let in on a long kept family secret, he doesn't know what to do. He almost ruins things with the one person that keeps him from feeling like he's floating away with no way to land, but it ultimately turns out okay with help of a little communication.

*This one pulled at my heart strings a little*

but i leave it in my heart, cause I don’t want to stay in the dark by neoncrayolas

Buck hadn't meant for the confession to come out like it did. He'd wanted it to be more eloquent and not so full of snot and tears.

But once it was out, there was no going back.

Or, part character study of Buck, part coda to 4x05.

*Basically, Buck isolates himself, Eddie gets worried, and Buddie is endgame

Learning to Breathe by TearsThisSideofHeaven

Boy, he thinks as the city lights blur a little in his vision, my therapist is going to have a field day with this.

*Short little fic that delves into Buck’s emotions with Eddie trying to support him

Finally Safe by WinterLioness

In the aftermath of finding out a family secret Buck finds himself going to Eddie. Christopher and Eddie use their Diaz charm to help.

*This picks up on the emotions Buck feels not only because of the family secret but because Maddie kept it from him (not full on hate, but what any normal person would need to work through) and Eddie is there to support him. Features cuddles with the Diaz Boys.

Not Related to the story line of 9-1-1 but has a whole ‘Buck Begins’ vibe because I was world building: The Life We Live

*The Old Guard AU no one asked for* "Athena had seen many a millennium and many men, women, and children die. She had seen the rise and fall of civilizations. She had felt the pain of loneliness and the happiness of community...but she’d never, in her many years of living, seen something like Eddie, Buck, and Chris. She’d never seen this profound of a bond, even between herself and Bobby. After Buck lost Abby and, later, Ali, Athena wasn’t sure he would have let his heart reach out to another person that he could lose...but she was proud of him. He built something that was hard to come by in their way of living. He built a home."

*I’m really proud of this one, it turned out well*

Not Related to the Story Line of 9-1-1, Fics by others!

Please Don’t Say You Love Me (because I might not say it back) by Queerfeministdork

"Say I love you loud, and say I love you often. It was an easy sentiment, and it was a beautiful background picture. But something clenched tightly in Buck’s chest when he saw it flash open as he handed Hen her phone. Because he knew it was a simple thing for most people, that most people could just let those three little words slip out without a care. But he couldn’t. They always got caught in his throat, stuck behind his chest. Tamped down before he could think to breathe them out."

Buck always wished he could just say the words. Turns out, maybe people just know.

*Basically, Buck can’t say ‘I Love You’ as easily as everyone else and panics about it...but eventually, everyone understands.

everything is blue by amirlywritingfanficnow

When Evan Buckley is ten, he discovers nail polish.

In which Buck paints his nails, Eddie is flustered, and May is a matchmaker.

*Basically Buck and Eddie saying fuck toxic masculinity. Buck enjoying painting his nails and Eddie is definitely in love with him.

Coming Home To You by kariberri13

The 118 want to know more about Buck, but the man won't give them many details. That is until the biggest detail walks through the station's bay doors.

*Not focused on his past, but a different story focusing on the fact that Buck is married to Eddie and has a kid that he didn’t tell the Fire fam about.

There are tons more, but this is what I could think of off the top of my head!

Hope you like them!

#buck begins fic recs #buck begins #fanfiction writing #9-1-1 #evan buckley #buddie #evan buckley x eddie diaz #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #the buckley parents #fic recs #for thisisserious #longish post

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crimsonhcadache · 3 years

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- ̗̀ NOW INTRODUCING: IVES ❝ IVY ❞ SERRANO !

( DANNA PAOLA, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER, SCORPIO, 24 ) I just spotted IVES “IVY” SERRANO at the beach today. Don’t you know them? They live down by the TOWERS and usually hang out with the RICH KIDS & MUSICIANS cliques. From what I’ve heard, they can be DECEITFUL, but they’re also ADAPTIVE. I always think of them when i hear LAST LAUGH - FLETCHER and tend to associate them with STRAWBERRY CHAMPAGNE, A FRESH SET OF STILETTO NAILS, AND RED LINGERIE. ( tay, she/her, 22, est )

full name: natalie rose serrano ives serrano nicknames: ivy, poison ivy faceclaim: danna paola voiceclaim: lana del rey birthday: november 1st, 1996 zodiac: scorpio sun, aries moon, gemini rising sexuality: bisexual occupation: influencer, instagram model, musician, scammer / thief positive traits: effervescent, bold, creative, charismatic, coquettish, intuitive, ambitious, alluring, adventurous, perceptive negative traits: cantankerous, deceitful, envious, manipulative, dramatic, stubborn, narcissistic, materialistic, reckless, quick-tempered character inspos: maddy perez euphoria, jackie burkhart that 70’s show, blair waldorf gossip girl, margo hanson the magicians, every lana del rey song ever, lucrecia montesinos and cayetana pando elite, rosa diaz brooklyn nine nine, the entire rose family schitts creek, jen harding dead to me

- ̗̀♡ — › background !

the main thing u need to know about ivy is that she is lying ! always !! her real name isn’t even actually ivy smh

she was born NATALIE ROSE SERRANO, to two working class parents in new york city. she knew from a young age that she was just supposed to be rich and famous, and that something had gotten mixed up somewhere and she was put in the wrong life.

in high school she got a scholarship to a fancy private catholic school, and that’s where she started to hone her craft of manipulating rich people. she would befriend all of the richest bitches at school and take advantage of everything that came along with it: vacations to far away places, stays in the family’s cabins and lake houses, even designer clothes that her friends no longer wanted and would gift to her, thinking it was their idea all along

as she grew up and got better at getting what she wanted out of people, her entitled attitude only got worse, driving a wedge between her and her parents, who kept waiting for her to develop a work ethic and kept being disappointed. a few months after she graduated high school, on her 18th birthday, her parents kicked her out of the house and cut her off, hoping that it would force her to grow up and take on any responsibility

but that plan backfired for them, her parents underestimating how truly stubborn natalie was. the day after her 18th, she wandered into a local strip club and got a job, figuring it’d be the easiest and quickest way to get some cash, and she took to it naturally and actually really enjoyed stripping

she started to embody an entirely new persona that she had created for herself, dancing under the name POISON IVY and telling everyone she was a trust fund baby that had been cut off from her rich parents, needing to dance to supplement her income, and her lies just continued to spiral out of control until she almost started to believe it herself. she had never told anyone at the club her real name, not even the other strippers, just going by “ivy” for a while.

she had learned to weaponize the power she had over people by being pretty and charming, using her looks for absolute evil and doing whatever it took to get money—from straight up pickpocketing, to making men buy her expensive gifts, to blackmailing, to sugar babying, to getting patrons wasted and manipulating them into tipping her absurd amounts… she did it all, very quickly earning enough to live the life she had always dreamed of, that she felt she deserved for whatever twisted reason.

she started posting on instagram with the name poison ivy generally just flaunting her carefree, extravagant life, often exaggerating or down right lying just to really dazzle her quickly growing audience

as she started to go down the influencer route, she realized she needed to do something to hide the skeletons in her closet ( the fact that she didn’t actually come from money and was making far more than was normal for even the best of dancers, a couple of small possession / shoplifting charges, and just generally anything that could lead people to her real identity ) so she started to tell people her name was ives, fully taking on the new identity. she even went so far as to make some of the people that had been closest to her sign NDAs about her real identity, making sure that no one could sell info about her should her plan of being famous work out

she also moved out to california to run away from everyone in the city that was starting to catch on to what she was doing, basically doing all the same shit but now in a New Place.. this was about 3-4 years ago, so she’s been in sunhollow for a while now doing the whole influencer thing !!

and it did work out !! at first she was definitely buying followers/likes to boost her likelihood of brand sponsorships, but eventually she faked it until she made it and actually attained influencer status. she then used her newfound internet fame ( and some classic blackmailing ) to get herself a record deal

she also started sleeping around with pretty much any famous person she could, having very public relationships and breakups and scandals to keep her name in the press, which ultimately lead to more exposure/people following her, if only to see what she did next, which lead to even more sponsorships

eventually she stopped dancing and just focused on her influencing and more recently ( like... less than 6 months ago recently ) her music career. but she never stopped sugar babying and scamming rich stupid men, still very much using that as a means to keep up her lifestyle. she’s also done a few modeling things, but it’s mostly just like catalog work or being the face of a trendy campaign bc she’s way too short for the runway

she also recently made an only fans account bc she was bored one night and was mostly planning on posting once as a joke but then she made a bunch of money / got a bunch of subscribers and was like oh word ? i can do that ! so she will post on there from time to time but she’s not like… super serious about it ya know ? also her music label is big mad at her for it bc they’re like bUt yOuR rEpUtAtIoN and she’s like yeah.. but my bank account ? also it’s no secret she used to be a stripper so she rly just.. doesn’t give a fuck !

so basically she’s jus here making money being pretty and pulling a long ass scam on… everyone

- ̗̀♡ — › personality / headcannons !

she’s a real two faced bitch… she has perfected the art of becoming whoever she thinks other people want her to be, quickly adapting her personality to get whatever she wants

she’s usually pretty friendly actually, really charming and outgoing and just trying to have a good time

she has a pretty short temper tho and holds grudges like you wouldn’t believe, so once you’re on her bad side… good luck lol she is so ruthless

she’s like… deeply, deeply selfish and will always put herself first, but she’s so manipulative that she can make people do things that they think are their idea, but it’s really just something she planted in their head so it’s not always obvious

also very spoiled and will throw a mf fit if she doesn’t get her way or u say no to her

always going out !! always doing the most !! she’s the type to show up randomly at ur door at 8pm on a tuesday with a bottle of tequila and make u party with her whether u like it or not

she’s a lot smarter than she lets on sometimes, like she knows people expect her to be stupid and ditzy and shallow and she’ll let them underestimate her when it’s beneficial

always looks perfectly put together— her nails are always meticulously manicured, usually w stiletto shaped acrylics, and you’ll literally never see her outside her house without makeup and a perfectly composed outfit. it’s also a rare occasion that she’s not wearing at least six inch heels, trying to make up for bein so mf short ( she’s 5’3 )

she talks A Lot but is really good at saying a lot of words without actually saying anything, like you can be best friends with her for months and then just be like “i don’t actually know a single thing about her”

always up to no good and sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong !! she’s always got some sort of scheme going or getting in to some kind of drama

v much a hoe and v much proud of it, will sleep w just about anyone especially if she can get something out of it

also a serial dater !! she’s always hoping in and out of relationships and being rumored to be with a dozen people at once

most definitely calls paparazzi on herself, especially when she’s around other famous ppl but will never admit it

compulsive liar, she will literally lie about the dumbest things like she doesn’t even need a reason to lie she jus.. does

she has a luxury two bedroom apartment that she lives alone in ( one room is kinda a guest room but also mostly just a giant closet ) in the towers and the gag is she doesn’t even know how much her rent is bc one of her random sugar daddies pays her rent.. her power tbh

- ̗̀♡ — › wanted connections !

hookups / flings / one night stands / fwbs all that shit !!

exes on bad terms … gimme drama pls

enemies / ppl she’s stolen from maybe… she would definitely deny it and say they’re jus jealous of her or smth stupid but that could make the feud worse

party pals !! like i said she goes out a lot and always somehow manages to make new friends and drag them into her shenanigans

on again / off again exes… i want the Angst so bad..

shallow friendships / influencer friends like they play it up a lot for insta bc they both have a pretty big following but they dont really... like each other that much ?? like they definitely seem to be a lot closer than they really are

pr relationships this could be past or present !! in the same vein as the last one except they pretend to date ( or maybe just act like they’re gonna date but never actually do ?? like to fuel rumors )

unlikely friends !! like ppl who are nice and sweet and Pure, she could use a lil good energy in her life

situationship / flirtationship like they’re super flirty and maybe hook up a couple times but everyone assumes they’re dating or like gonna date but they’re jus vibing. bonus points if one or both of them actually has feelings but can’t tell if they’re just friends / casually hooking up or if it could turn into something more.. im a slut for some mutual pining !!

neighbors … mb they hate her for always being loud n throwing mini parties OR maybe they join in

mean girl rivalries !!

someone she’s taking advantage of / stealing from without them knowing .. oof

partner in crime !!!

one sided crushes or like someone she’s stringing along smh

sugar daddies mb 😇

someone to put her in her mf place JDKDKD like they call her out on her bs and are like “i see what ur doing bitch stay away from my friends” type thing

idk anything really !! gimme all the messy plots ok :~)

#hqclique.intro #this is so long i jus have so much to say abt my favorite evil demon <3 #now to do mickeys .. which requires sm more rewriting .... pray for me #♡ — 𝐢𝐯𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐨 › 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 .

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beanprincess19 · 6 years

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Air and Lightening: Volume 1 of Vilya's Adventure (Spotify Playlist here X)

Song Explanations below

Prologue. Opening from The Secret Garden// “Safe in my garden, snowdrops so still”

Our story begins, with the birth of a daughter forged from a lost love. Vilya’s beginning, living in the world of Zephrah.

I. 20 Years by Bad Suns// “Looking in the mirror, smiling at her fear. Nothing really matters, these eyes have so much to see”

And we meet Vilya, 20 years of age, living in Zephrah. Also, basically touching base on her fears that everyone she cares about will pass on before her, and how she hides that fear with her kindness and can do attitude.

II. Half by Pvris// “I never wanted a body. I never never never said”

The weight on Vilya’s shoulders as not only the daughter of The Voice of the Tempest but also, the last living legacy of her father. She never asked for this.

III. Mother & Father by Broods// “ And ever since I left my mother. It’s much harder to know. How to make my own life here”

And so Vilya begins her journey towards her search for purpose. Will she find out more about who she is, or will she come back empty-handed? All she knows is she has to do it. Even if she leaves her childhood home where she has been safely kept, she needs to experience the world for herself.

IV. Don’t Take the Money by Bleachers// “ Will we fight, stay up late? In my dreams I'm to blame”

The beginning of the Syngorn Disaster Squad. We all hated each other at first haha good thing we don’t now! Right?

V. Break the Rules by Charlie XCX// “ I don't wanna go to school. I just wanna break the rules”

And here’s the reckless Vilya we know and love. The world’s gonna eat her alive you say? Let them try. She’s just a runaway teenaged asshole.

VI. That Was a Crazy Game of Poker by O.A.R// “ He looked at me with a face full of fright. And I said, how bout a revolution? And he said right.”

A song dedicated to the comedic duo of Ooph and Ozgar. The first friends she made when she got to Syngorn. She treasures the moment of Ooph single-handly winning a poker game against the so-called Man of the World.

VII. Dirty Deeds by Joan Jett// “ Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap “

To Petra and Zafarett, a duo of a different caliber than Ozgar and Ooph. Truthfully Vilya doesn’t know a lot about either of them. She just knows that if you got trouble, they’ll take care of it in a snap.

VIII. Swing Life Away by Flashpoint// “If love is a labor I'll slave till the end. I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand until you hold my hand”

Vilya knows the world is hard, she isn’t as naive as everyone thinks she is. But because of her duty to her people, she is going to live for a thousand years. Her sadness has to wait. All the friends she will make, will die one day. She only wants to be strong for them.

IX. Sisters by Scandal// “ Hey sister! I'm on your side.The sky we reached up to is a deep blue.My sister! Act tough and hold your head high! Seize the day!”

To Malikaya. You’ve grown up since Vilya last saw you. You’ve always been the brains and Vilya’s been the heart. So whatever nightmares you’ve been having, or whatever pain you’re going through. Bring it on! Vilya’s ready to protect you, and make you smile. You may not be her blood, but you’re her best friend, and forever her sister.

X. Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE (feat. Gavin DeGraw)// “ Brother, let me be your shelter. Never leave you all alone. I can be the one you call”

To Percival, her blood cousin. You and Vilya are always similar, both traveling to find our purposes outside of our families. To prove that you’re not just legacies but more. She knows that although she is the daughter of the man who inspires you, you see her as your own sister. As she sees you, as her little brother.

XI. A Million Dreams by Maddie// “ Hoewever big, however small. Let me be part of it all. Share your dreams with me. You may be right, you may be wrong. But say that you'll bring me along. To the world you see”

Her heart is towards her two cousins, her best friends. That night in their youth, they dreamed of one day traveling together as their parents did before them, and one day, growing old happy together reminiscing . But Vilya sees her cousins have grown up, with sadness in their eyes. She may be looking for herself but, on this adventure, her aspiration are towards making that childhood dream come true for them. Because she wants their happiness, and to grow old happy and fulfilled. Because she will live with that for a longer time than them. And they don’t know about her aging yet. This is all she can give them for now.

XII. Blank Space by Alyssa Bernal// “But I’ve got a blank space baby, and I’ll write your name”

To our Dragonborn Paladin, Ondor. Vilya and you have had a rough couple of days of awkwardness. First you called her a child, then she carried you in her eagle form in The Shadowfell, and then she got a prank romantic poem that Ooph signed in your name. Oh don’t forget you carrying her drunk ass out of the bar. It’s gonna be an awkward ride for these two, but hey why not celebrate that with a classic T Swift song?

XIII.Lions by Lights// “I’m not the hunter, I’m not a martyr. Just looking for some wisdom in the dark”

Dedicated towards Vilya’s hope. Even though her happy go lucky nature may hide her sadness, she still hopes for the best in things. She is the sunshine of the group after all~ (Oh and her go-to Lion Wildshape duh?)

XIV. Thunder by Imagine Dragons// “I was lightening before the thunder”

Another reckless Vilya song. Aka remember her first attack spell was Thunder Wave? That was fun.

XV. CAMO by BoA// “ My face has changed. My heart is moving. But my camouflage will hide it”

This song inspired Vilya and slowly it’s become more true with every passing session.

#dnd ocs #oc:vilya #oc: vilya #tal'dorei campaign #cr #dnd 5e #dungeons and dragons #character playlist #music

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babylon-bitch · 6 years

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Just Friends ~ Goodbye (part 67)

Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.

Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.

What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together?

***

Harper’s P.O.V.

Slamming my car door closed, and locking it, holding my hoodie close to me as it’s raining and really windy. A storm is brewing in the sky, a few leaves floating around, the sky a dark shade of grey, and water flowing down the road.

I’m at Michael’s house to say goodbye to everyone, my flight leaves in a few hours, and I didn’t want to say goodbye through text.

I haven’t really spoken to Luke since what happened the other day, we texted a little last night, and that’s it.

We didn’t kiss, we nearly did, but then I came back to reality and realized what we were about to do, then I jumped away from him, running my hand over my face, and thought about what just happened. Luke had the same reaction as me, eyes wide, not knowing what we were doing.

We talked for a little before Luke got a text from his mum, and I’ve never been more greatful for her.

Neither of us brought up what happened last night, but we didn’t seem rocky, we just joked around and asked what each other are doing. So from what I can tell, we’re on good terms.

Knocking on the door, I watch the sky as I wait for someone to open up.

“My favourite person!” Michael exclaims as he opens the door.

“My favourite person also!” I smile at him and give him a short, half assed hug.

“Your enthusiasm is overwhelming.”

“It’s early, I’m cold, and a little wet, cry me a river.” I reply and head up the stairs.

“It’s 11:30.” He deadpans.

“I didn’t get much sleep.” I tell him and walk into Michael’s room.

“Hi.” Maddie and Erika speak in unison.

“Hey.” Calum waves as I sit down next to Cal on Michael’s bed.

“It’s just Luke and Ash to come now.” Michael breathes as he walks in, sitting down on his desk chair.

“Who came first?” I ask.

“Maddie and Erika.”

“When’s the wedding?” Calum questions.

“We haven’t really set a date, we’ve done some planning and stuff, but I think we’re going to wait a while.” Maddie answers.

“Fair enough?” He nods.

“When do you think you’ll have it?” Michael questions.

“Uh in like 2 years or something.” Erika says, and Maddie intertwined their hands.

“Need me a partner like that.” I say.

“You’ve got one.” Calum smirks and I glare at him.

“No I don’t.”

“I can be him.” Michael saves me.

“Eat shit, Hood.” I flip him off.

“Eat shit, Hood.” He imitates my voice.

“I hate you.” I pout.

“Cool story.” He responds and I roll my eyes, looking out the window, watching the droplets race each other. Seeing cars go by every now and then, water splashing the pavement as they go by. I would hate to be walking, I almost did, but then I became lazy and took the car, but I took the right choice by the looks of it.

“You look like you’re in a sad music video.” A voice interrupts my daydream. Turning to my left I see Luke and Ashton, well Ashton is talking to Michael, and Luke’s paying attention to me.

“Hey.” I greet.

“What’s on your mind?” He questions, sitting next to me.

“Nothing.” I shake my head.

“You sure?”

“Yeah? What makes you think I’ve got something going on?” I look up at him.

“You just were zoned out for a while, and it seemed like something was up with you.” Luke explains.

“Well nothing major comes to mind.” I shrug.

“Good.” He purses his lips.

“Anything up with you?”

“Nothing new.” He says and I nod, leaning my head back the wall.

“You’re so short.” Luke comments after a while.

“What? No I’m not.” I defend myself.

“Harper, your legs just about reach the end of the bed.”

“It’s a big bed.” I reply. “Well you’re so big.”

“You know it.” He winks at me and I roll my eyes.

“I’m not short, I’m 5"5, and that’s one inch taller than the average.”

“You’re still short.”

“No I’m not.” I claim.

“Look at these cute little short arms.” He teases and picks my arm up.

“Mean.” I huff.

“Yeah but your my little shorty.” He tells me and I look at him unamused.

“You’re so annoying.” I groan and push his arm.

“Yeah but you’ll miss it when you’re gone.” He sends me a smug smile.

“Maybe, maybe not, depends if you send me memes or not.”

“Like salt bae??”

“No, good memes.”

“Did you just disrespect him?” Luke questions holding a hand to his heart and I nod. “Have you seen the way he handles that meat? Have you seen how he sprinkles salt?”

“Yeah, and it’s dry, it was funny for a few days.”

“Have you seen salt bae?” He shakes my shoulders and I laugh.

“Really? Right in front of my salad?” I question and he facepalms.

“When you pieces of trash are finished, I’m gonna go wave a metal pole outside.” Maddie grabs are attention.

“What?” We both question.

“You talking about memes was doing my head in.” She explains.

“Maddie please, this is a private conversation.” I hold my hand up to her. “So moral of the story, only send me good memes, if at all.”

“Fucking bitch.” She mutters and as soon as she finishes the power goes off.

“If I could see you right now, I would hit you.” I reply. You can still see a little bit, but because it’s so cloudy it makes everything really dark, plus Michael has part of his curtain closed.

“Is anyone scared of storms?” Calum asks.

“No.” We all say.

“I hope my flight isn’t delayed.” I sigh.

“You could always drive.” Erika speaks.

“Yes Erika, I’m going to drive all the way from Sydney to Sheffield.” I sarcastically reply.

“I swear there hasn’t been a storm in ages.” Ashton points out.

“Yeah.” I agree.

“Maybe because you haven’t been in Australia?” Erika informs.

“And it’s just turning summer.” Maddie adds.

“Geez you guys are moody today.” Luke comments.

“Rule number one, don’t point it out.” I inform him. “You should know this.”

“What?” He raises an eyebrow.

“We’re on our period.”

“At the same time?” Ashton asks.

“Yeah, it’s called syncing up.” Maddie explains,

“Are you on your period?” Calum asks me.

“No.”

“Then h-”

“You don’t choose to sync up, it’s just natural.” I explain.

“This is gross.” Michael shudders.

“It’s just nature.” I tell him.

“I still get nightmares from when you were on yours.” Luke jokes.

“What do you mean were? I still get it.”

“Whatever, but you used to snap at me all the time, get me to get you food, and I didn’t even get anything out of it.”

“I gave you my love!” I pout.

“For what I did, I think I deserved more.“

“Rude.” I huff.

“What do we do now?” Michael asks.

“Uh, I don’t know.” Calum shrugs.

Helpful.

“We could go out or something.” Ashton suggests.

“Where?” Luke asks.

“Your guys’ houses might have power.” Michael suggests.

“I’ll text my mum.” I announce and pull my phone out.

“What’s your background?” Erika questions.

“Hayley Williams.” I show her.

“Oh my God, same.” She laughs and shows her one to me.

“What? Why don’t you have one of me?” Maddie asks.

“Sorry, babe, but Hayley is my one and only.”

“Same.” I raise my hand.

“My one is of you.” Maddie huffs and folds her arms.

I carry on with my task of texting my mum, and leaning my head on Luke’s shoulder as I wait do her to reply, listening to the harsh patter of rain on the windows, lighting lighting up the room every now and then, and thunder rumbling around.

“My house has power.” I tell everyone.

“I don’t really know what we’re gonna do at your house that we can’t do here, but hey.” Erika shrugs and gets up.

“There’s a difference, believe me.” Luke says and gets up. I whine and put my hand out for him to help me up, Luke rolls his eyes but takes my hand anyway and helps me up.

We all walk downstairs and I put the hood of my hoodie up as we’re by the door. “I’m so not ready for this.” Maddie mumbles rubbing her hands together.

“Who’s car are we taking?” Calum questions.

“Well we gotta take my car, let’s just split.” I explain.

“Can I drive?” Erika pipes up.

“You don’t have a car here.” Ashton points out the obvious.

“But I can drive your car.” She gives him puppy dog eyes.

“Why? Can’t you just be a passenger?” He asks.

“Please Ashton, I haven’t driven in ages, I’ll clean it for you at some point.” She bribes.

My phone starts to make a noise and everyone looks at me, pulling my phone out I see I have a facetime call with Blake.

“I’m going in my car whilst you figure this out.” I mumble and open the door, my converse stepping in many puddles on the way.

Unlocking my car, as I get closer, and open the door, left in out a sigh of relief once I’m safe out of the rain.

“Hey.” I say as I answer it.

“Hey, are you busy?” He questions, not looking at me.

“Not really, just waiting for my friends and stuff.” I answer.

“Cool, when you coming home?” He asks, looking at me.

“Well my flight is tonight, but there is a huge storm going on, so it might be delayed.”

“But you’re planning on coming home tonight.” He asks for confirmation.

“Yeah, should, why?”

“I was just checking because I didn’t know when you were coming home.” He tells me and I readjust my phone.

“Alright, do you want to meet up when I get back.” I question as I watch the others rush out the door, Calum and Luke doing a quick jog.

“Yeah sure, when are you supposed to get back?” He asks as he does something on his laptop.

Calum opens the passanger side of the door and sits down, Luke following his actions but in the back behind me.

“Late afternoon or something.” I answer as Michael and strangely Ashton enter the car.

“Alright, I think we’re going over to Juliet’s house for the evening.” Blake explains as I begin to pull out of my parking spot. “I can meet you at your house, or you at mine, whatever is easiest.”

“Probably easier if you come to me and then Tori, Izzy, you, and I can all go over at the same time.” I reply, placing my phone in my lap as it’s easier to focus on driving.

“Okay cool, hope you have a safe flight, and I hope it doesn’t get delayed, see you tomorrow.”

“Alright, I’ll text you when I land.”

“Okay, oh any boy troubles?” He smirks.

“Goodbye, Blake.” I sigh with a laugh.

“Bye, speak soon.” He laughs and ends the call.

I plug my phone in so I can put some music on as we’re at a stop sign. “Any song requests?”

“Play some My Chemical Romance.” Michael requests, and I nod putting one of their albums on shuffle.

“Why are you here, Ash?” I question, looking behind me.

“Do you want me to leave? Do you want me to leave so I have to walk in the rain?” He asks.

“No it’s just, you have a car.” I laugh. “Of your own.”

“Erika wanted to drive, and she said she’d clean my car so I said yeah, because I haven’t done it in over a year.”

“Why’d she want to drive? She has her own car.”

“I don’t get it either but I’ve not been a passanger in a while.”

“You were on tour.”

“Your point?”

I roll my eyes, ands put my focus on my driving, spotting Ashton’s car a couple cars in front of us.

After a little while we hit some traffic, and I’m stuck right by the spot where the ‘accident’ occurred.

It’s weird to see how far I’ve come from that place, it was quite a few months ago now, and I’ve made some progress. I still get these little bursts of sadness every now and then, I’ll be in the kitchen making some dinner for myself late at night, when a little cloud comes over my head, while I’m stirring pasta. At first I’m like where the fuck did you come from? But then I start thinking and it gets worse, a little ball builds up in my chest and my stomach feels weird, overall I just feel uncomfortable.

All night I feel like that until I drift off to sleep, then in the morning I feel alright, sometimes it clings on in the morning, but it’s so different to what I was feeling just last month.

Last month I felt like that all day and all night, as well as it being 10x worse.

I don’t know if it’s caused by just one person, everyone I’m around, being away from the bad habits I had back in England, or just being home. Maybe it’s a combination of it all, but I’ve improved, and I hope I can stay like this.

I see the boys thinking the same thing when I look in the mirror. I really need to change this because I don’t want my last day with these guys to be sad.

“Are you guys gonna visit me when I’m in England?” I ask.

“I mean…” Calum trails off and I glare at him.

“I think we should at least try to.” Ashton agrees.

“I said I’d visit you.” Luke speaks up.

“Then it would make sense if we all go.” Michael says.

“When do you get a break?” Calum questions.

“Um nothing until Christmas.” I shrug and move forward as the traffic starts clearing up.

“Why don’t we visit you like next month or something?” Michael suggests.

“How about early December because I’m really busy through out November.” I tell them.

“Yeah that could work.” Luke nods.

“What about the girls?” Calum asks.

“Erika has uni doesn’t she?” I sigh.

“I mean you’re gonna see her in like 3 weeks after, it’s not too big of a deal.” Luke points out.

“I’m still gonna feel bad.”

“You’re coming back?” Ashton questions.

“Yeah, after Christmas.” I confirm as I turn the corner, sliding around a bit because of the wet. “Shit.” I mutter.

“What?” Michael asks.

“Did you not feel that?” Luke and I say in unison.

“What?” He repeats.

“We were sliding around a little.” I tell him as I drive cautiously round the roundabout.

“So we’re definitely going to England in early December?” Ashton asks.

“Pretty sure.” Calum nods.

“Cool.”

“What date?” Luke questions.

“What are you going to be there for?"

"To see you of course.” Michael says confused.

“Yeah but like do you want to party and stuff or just chill? Because my friend Cody and his girlfriend are hosting a party.”

“Could be fun.” Calum replies.

“That’s on the 8th.”

“Why don’t we fly out on like the 4th or 5th?” Michael suggests.

“Cool, I guess we’ll tell you when we book our flight.” Ashton purses his lips.

“By the way, I’ve only got one spare bedroom, so you can fight about who’s getting it.” I inform and pull the hand break up.

***

Putting my leather jacket on as I jog down the stairs, seeing everyone in the lounge, chatting and laughing.

“Hey, are you ready to go?” My dad asks as I walk in the kitchen.

“Uh yeah I think so, I’ve just gotta go say goodbye.” I answer as I look through the cupboard for a snack.

“Okay, you’ve got around 10 minutes, just gotta wait for your brothers to finish packing.” He sighs as I pick out a couple chocolate bars to put in my bag.

“Alright, I’m gonna go say goodbye.” I smile at him and walk out the kitchen and towards the living room, leaning on the door frame.

“Geez you got a stash.” Michael laughs as he sees the chocolate in my hand.

“Shut up.” I chuckle and place them on the table in the hallway.

“Who’s your dealer?” Maddie questions.

“Cadbury.” I joke.

This is so bittersweet.

I know I’m gonna see them soon enough, but it’s still sad.

I hear one of my brothers clunk down the stairs with his suitcase, and once he’s on the bottom floor I see it’s Angus. He pushes my shoulder as he goes past, and I flip him off.

“Looks like it’s time to say goodbye.” I quietly sigh.

“I guess it is.” Erika mumbles and begins to get up.

I wrap my arms around her shoulders briefly before we pull away. “I’ll see you after Christmas.” Erika says.

“Yeah, I promise I’ll call you and stuff all the time.” I promise.

“Bye, I’ll talk to you soon.” She gives me a small smile and walks back to where she was.

“My turn.” Maddie raises her hand and she gives me a short hug.

“How are you gonna cope without me?"

"Easier than it sounds.” She shrugs. “Bye, Harper.”

“Bye, Maddie.” Repeat and she stands next to Erika.

“Now, don’t get too drunk without me, you’re usually my buddy in that.” Calum smirks as he approaches me.

“Yeah, I’ll try not to.” I smile up at him, then wrap my arms around his torso, his follow in suit.

“We’ve got time to catch up on though soon.” Calum replies.

“I am not looking forward to that hangover.” I grimace and he laughs.

“See you soon.” He gives me a smile and stands next to Erika.

“Ashton!” I over exaggerate my tone.

“Harper!” He mocks.

“I can’t wait for you to visit me and critic my life choices.” I tell him.

“You know it.” He chuckles and gives me a hug and we say our goodbyes.

“It’s time.” Michael announces.

“It’s not like I’m dying, Michael.” I inform.

“Well last time you disappeared off the face of the earth.” He points out.

“I promise to speak to you regularly.”

“You better.” He sends me a warning look and I give him a hug and say what I want to say.

“I’m gonna miss you.” Luke mumbles as he stands in front of me.

“I’m gonna miss you too.” I copy his tone.

“But we’ll see each other soon enough.” He reassures and runs his hand down my arm.

“Yeah.” I nod and wrap my arms around his waist.

“Text me or call me when you get home.” He requests, running his hand down my back.

I pull back from him slightly, looking up at him, my eyes slightly filling with tears. “Don’t cry babygirl.” He pouts and wipes away the small tear that is falling.

I briefly look at his lips, and then back at his eyes, then give him one last hug, before we part.

“I love you guys.”

3 notes · View notes

nabtime · 7 years

Text

Reasons I Very Much Disliked the 10 Years Later Video Butch decided was probably profitable and decided to post. Like.... Let’s start with characters...

Jazz. My sweet fav Jazz. All of the designs felt pretty wrong and out of character but this one felt the most so. Butch didn’t even mention psychology, which offended me the most, and it’s like, yeah maybe Jazz grew out of her love for psychology by the time 10 years later rolled around but considering how central it was to her character? Doubtful. Like??? Butch do you know these characters at all? How in any way shape or form was Jazz technologically inclined? To the point she’d be as hooked up to wires and such as she was? That didn’t make sense at all. Maybe for Tucker, the most tech savy person ever, but not for Jazz.

Yes she wanted to help her brother out and nearly desperately wanted to be part of team Phantom but I don’t think she’d give up everything she loved for it. Also Jazz would absolutely not want to be on the side lines. Even when she was messing up with the weapons she was still right there in the middle of the action. We also know she can kick butt physically, like her mom, even if she’s bad with weapons, like her dad.

Honestly? I would see Jazz as a top researcher on the Psychology of Ghosts. She would most definitely have the drive and the passion to be able to not only spearhead a new avenue of research based on everything about a ghost’s brain/feelings/thoughts/etc but also be a sort of permanent head of that department. Ghosts are a sentient species that are also completely separate from humans. That’s GROUNDBREAKING.

Not to mention that it’s a way she knows she can help without completely resorting to violence. Jazz is compassionate and nosy. She’s a busy-body that wants to fix everyone’s problems. She’s both sensitive and insensitive. She’s aggressive about being caring. And I don’t think that would be something that would just go away. I know Butch has already stated that Ghosts aren’t Ghosts but Monster (Yeah, okay man) but ignoring that I think Jazz would most certainly offer Ghost Therapy sessions Pro Bono to help them pass on. And even with the Monster thing, I still think she’d offer therapy, even if it’s just to offer comfort and the ability to integrate within human society.

Anyway, I was real mad about how badly Jazz was treated. Her entire character was made some two-dimensional sidekick with no substance. The depth of the female characters is what made DP so great, Butch, we don’t need you ruining that just to make things look cool.

Jack. I... guess I agree with him that Jack would think being a half robot is cool, but like... Why? Why would he have gotten that scarred up? Yes, I get it, the usual “When you’re famous you make a lot of enemies.” But like.... I dunno I think the show wouldn’t necessarily take such an edgy dystopian turn like he wants us to believe. He kept just... talking about action and action scenes. And, honestly? That’s incredibly boring. And completely unnecessary. Action scenes are good but you have to have something to propel them. Something to make you care. One would think that Danny and his crew would be working to make the world a better place. To make it more peaceful. That’s what heroes are supposed to do. Not gratuitously get into fights with anyone who’s trying to pick one. Like???

Also this completely would take away character growth, both with Jack’s design and Maddie’s. Why are they still treating ghosts like subhumans? Like evil monsters? Since they’re literally wearing the DP insignia I’d assume they know about Danny’s half-ghost persona, so why would they still be hunting ghosts the same way?????

Honestly, with the way the show was headed before it ended you could tell there was a lesson in there about how there’s humanity even in beings you think are monsters. These mecha-ultra-action-oriented designs leave no room for that. I want to see a peaceful ambassador Danny trying his best to negotiate between ghosts and humans! I want to see Jack and Maddie supporting him! The conflict shouldn’t come from random fight scenes, but from things going awry! Let me see negotiations go sour because Jack accidentally said something loud and obnoxious. Let me see him resolve it after some character growth. One of the things about the original DP was that the grown ups had no accountability. Let me see them grow too. Show me that even adults can learn from their mistakes.

In the end Jack looked like a horribly colored Santa that’s too trigger happy. Also? With the way everything was action oriented and revolving around violence... I dunno, when you treat your enemies like targets and forego all compassion, are you really the hero anymore? Even if he escaped the fate of Dan, it seems to me like Danny is still a bit of a villain like this. :/

Maddie. Just. Let me. AAAAAAA. No. First of all that haircut. Maddie would never. There’s no reason for her to change her hair that drastically and just, ugh. And those clothes on a 50 year old woman? I dunno, women can wear what they like at any age but it just doesn’t fit Maddie’s style. Anyway. Also, Butch totally degraded Maddie’s character to just “bad-ass action woman that fights a lot, has big weapons, and is bad ass.” Totally taking away her maternal side. Totally disregarding the fact that she’s often the brains of the operation behind the weapons. And totally making another awesomely dimensional female character flat and without substance. Congrats Butch.

Secondly, can we talk about those ghosts on a leash? Omfg. Whoo boy. Let’s talk about how many things wrong with that there are. Just. Yeah, remember a few paragraphs ago I was talking about the “humanity in monsters” bla bla bla. WELL. One: cruel. Two: weird. Three: wrong. Like on a basic moral level. Anyway, like I’m going to stop there with that because I don’t want to think about it anymore. Eugh.

Vlad. Lmao, let’s take one of the best motivated, best background story given child’s cartoon character and say his most interesting trait is his being a Greenbay Packers fan. Like, yeah it’s a pretty cool thing about him, but come on Butch.

Also, i like how even you are ignoring Phantom Planet and you made that horrible mess. You dug your grave now lie in it.

A clone??? Can we talk about the moral implications??? Like yes, I know Vlad is a villain and he does bad things but like??? We already went through this as a plot point we don’t need to go through it again. Vlad may be obsessive but he’s smart enough to know when to give up a failed plan. He’d start a new one. But anyway the moral implications of a clone. I’m not talking about Vlad, I’m talking about society. That is obviously a clone of Danny. That was obviously unconsensual. Vlad would blow his cover as a civilian and be revealed as a villain to the public this way, assuming he still has a cover. How does he live?????As a constant villain??? Wouldn’t he be arrested??? I just. Logistics man. And with the weight of Danny as a trustworthy superhero now, and the fact that its pretty obvious everyone knows Danny’s identities, Vlad has no leverage over Danny to keep his secret. Danny could full on spill everything about how evil vlad is. And what about team Phantom?? Wouldn’t they try to take the clone away from an abusive asshole like they did with Dani?? How does the clone feel??? This is a literal whole new character!!!

I’m not even going to talk about the tiger.

VLAD. DOES. NOT. WANT. TO. BE. A. KING!!!! That’s so totally not his villain MO!!!!!! What was so great about Vlad was that he didn’t want things like that. He wanted power, yes. But only to further his plans. He wanted three things: Maddie, revenge on Jack, and Danny as his protege. That’s what made him interesting!!!!! Not every villain has to be power hungry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Medieval vlad having a sword so he can just go into battle and just smash things. Wow, okay, right back to the action with no substance and also totally ignoring the classiness and finesse that vlad usually utilizes in fights. but okay.

Oh! Well look! Phantom Planet actually mentioned!!! Also the alien enslavement thing was actually a pretty cool plot thing so KUDOS TO YOU BUTCH SOMETHING I LIKED!!!! But, how, may i ask, are you going to deal with aliens existing? are they going to never be mentioned again?? are they going to come looking for vlad on earth? how will they clash with the ghosts? will danny have to reluctantly notice that his once archnemesis is not who he used to be and take pity on his wretched new state in order to help fight against the aliens? will vlad beg for dannys help or want to fight him for revenge? that’s some good plot right there.

Side note: “Maybe if I do a Danny Phantom 10 Years Later part three video, I’ll do an aged up version of Young Blood.” Butch. The whole point of Young Blood is that he’s young. Like forever young. BUTCH. THIS IS YOUR OWN SHOW. BUTCH!!!

Anyway. Dani. Is she evil? She was under the influence of Vlad after all. NO???!?!?! Literally that was the whole plot of her character arch Butch. She was taken away from that influence and allowed to roam free, If anything I think she’d gain lots of wisdom and worldly experience from her travels.

“I kind of buffed her up” 👀 👀 👀 👌 👌 👌 👌 💯 💯 💯 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 !!!

But also back to, “By party I mean she likes to destroy ghosts” BUTCH. I already went over this. Everything action oriented like this totally takes away from the original series and makes everything boring with no purpose. No drive. Also while yes I love her design, i think its ignoring whatever experiences she might have had while traveling. and makes her yet another flat female character. She’s there to look sexy and hit things and thats it. there’s, again, no substance. Whatever.

Also, how does she make a reappearance in the series?? Has she integrated into the family? (Thatd be rad). Does she just pop up from time to time? is she there for back up in case theres a need for reinforecements?

i have questions butch.

Anyway

this has been long. bye

#danny phantom #yes im sure everyone has posted their opinions by now #but i needed to vent #naps hc

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babylon-bitch · 7 years

Text

Just Friends ~ Headlights (part 48)

*Trigger Warning*

Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.

Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.

What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together?

Warnings: mentions of suicide

***

“Harper?” A voice stops me and makes me freeze.

Closing my eyes and letting out a small sigh, I slowly turn around and being met by Michael, Ashton, Calum, Erika, Maddie, and Luke.

“Hey guys.” I say.

“How have you been?” Calum asks.

“Alright.” I nod and eye up Luke. “Yourself?”

“Yeah, I’m great.” He nods. They all say they’re fine, besides Luke, who is pretending to be on his phone, although I know he’s not even paying attension to it and is listening intently to us.

I’m at the super market to get some stuff for my flight and some stuff for my Mum and Dad who are going out with their friends, I’m not really sure who is going but I can’t say I exactly care.

“So, um, what have you been up to?” Michael asks.

“Nothing much, the usual uni stuff.” I shrug. “You?”

“We’re all busy with tour.” Ashton speaks up.

“I’ve been busy with school too.” Erika tells me.

“And I’ve been working.” Maddie says.

“Oh really? What do you do?” I ask.

I never thought it could be so awkward between us all.

“I work at the nursery near Michael’s house.”

“Really? I never knew you were into kids.” I raise an eyebrow.

“Are you kidding? I love kids, I can’t wait till Erika and I have children.” She grins and pokes Erika’s arm.

“Well, steady on.” I joke.

“Yeah, steady on.” Erika speaks up.

“We are having a little get together this evening, do you want to come?” Calum asks. “It’s just us by the way.” He adds

That explains all the alcohol they have.

“Um, I kinda have a flight to catch tonight.” I trail off.

“What time?” Ashton questions.

“3:30, but I have to wait there for three hours, it also takes an hour to get to the airport, so I’ll have to leave my house at 11.” I explain.

“You don’t have to stay long, we all miss you.” Michael pouts and I glance at Luke who is giving Michael a look.

“I’ll think about it.” I sigh.

“If you do come, it’s at Calum’s house, and come over at around 6 or 7.” Ashton informs me.

“I’ll text you later or something.” Erika smiles.

“Okay, thanks for the offer, I can’t promise anything.” I tell them. “I’ll see you around.”

With that I leave them behind and head towards another isle, with a relieved sigh.

I love them and all, but it’s just so awkward because I haven’t seen them all in ages. To add onto that, Luke was there, which made it 10 times more awkward. Although we saw each other the other day, I think our minds were just so messed up at that moment that we didn’t think about anything, we just needed that.

That’s how I felt anyway.

“Here, Mum, I got some flowers and a couple bottles of wine. Will that do?” I ask with a sigh when I walk into the kitchen.

“Yes, thanks dear.” She gives me a small smile.

“Where are you even going?” I question.

“A restaurant, you know the one that has the best chairs? That one.” She informs me.

“Uhm, okay. Who’s going?” I ask.

“Me and your father, obviously, then we have Sam and Paul, and Liz and Andy.” She says whilst wiping the sides. “I think we might go back to Sam and Paul’s afterwards.” She adds.

“Am I going to have to call a cab to take me to the airport?” I whine.

“That’s tonight?” She questions in disbelief.

“Kinda.” I nod. “Do I have to set your home and lock screen as my boarding pass every time I come home?”

“I’m sorry, honey, I’ll pay for the cab.” She apologises and goes to her bag and takes out a couple notes, placing them on the freshly cleaned counter.

“Thanks, Mum.” I smile. “So uh, the guys have invited me over for this little get together.” I trail off.

“Oh really? Are you gonna go?” She questions.

“I don’t know, Luke’s gonna be there and I haven’t seen any of them in ages so I feel like it’s gonna be awkward and uncomfortable.” I say.

“Maybe it will be good to see them all again, especially you know, him, so you can get over him, or at least make it less awkward for the future.”

“He’s not the Dark Lord you know, you can say his name.” I inform her. “What do you mean ‘make it less awkward for the future’?” I give her a skeptical glare

“You can’t expect to not see him ever again can you? Not only with what you both do, but at family gatherings and things like that. I’m not gonna stop inviting the Hemmings just because you and Luke broke up, and that’s final.” She states with a threatening eyebrow raised.

“Geez, yes ma'am.” I widen my eyes in annoyance and walk towards my room.

Closing the door behind me and flopping onto my bed, face first, letting out a groan.

I don’t want to ruin 5 relationships just because of 1 relationship, that’s not fair on either of us. I can’t let Luke do that to me, I won’t let him. I haven’t talked to any of them in ages, mainly because of him, it just doesn’t feel right.

***

Erika: hey, are you coming over?

Me: I’m not sure if it’s a good idea, as I’ve got a flight soon, and shit like that…

Erika: pleaseeeeeeeee, we haven’t seen you in ages! :(

Me: fine, I’ll go

Erika: thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I’ll go tell the others, I’m so excited to see you properly again.

Chuckling at my phone before walking towards my wardrobe. Slipping into some ripped jeans and top, slipping on a flannel onto my shoulders incase I get a little chilly, not that it’ll do much.

Keeping my original makeup, just reapplying my lipstick. Brushing through my hair, and slipping into some black vans.

“I’m going to Calum’s.” I call out.

“Okay, have fun, we’ll be leaving too in 10-15 minutes.” My mum walks towards me.

“You guys be careful.” I tease.

“I should be saying that to you.” She says.

“True, bye then.” I kiss her cheek and walk out the door, pulling my phone out and plugging in some earphones, listening to some Never Shout Never.

The walk from my house to Calum’s house isn’t too long, and I’m greatful for that. I haven’t made this trip in ages, and it brings me a sense of nostalgia. Usually I’d walk this with Luke.

Knocking on the door and texting goodbye to Juliet, I wait for someone to open the door.

“You made it!” Calum grins as he opens the door.

“Hey.” I smile and lock my phone, shoving it in my pocket.

I give him a big hug and give him a kiss on the cheek. “You’re 15 minutes late, by the way.” He tells me as we walk throught he house.

“I don’t believe there was a set time.” I give him a pointed look.

“Shut up.”

“Harper!” Everyone cheers as I walk out into the garden.

“Ew, don’t touch me.” I whine as Maddie hugs me.

“You love me!” She claims.

“I don’t love anyone,” I say and I look for a place to sit down, which just so happens to be next to Luke.

I swear they did this on purpose.

Sitting down on the only empty chair, and putting my bag beside me. Everyone drifts off into a conversation besides Luke and I who just awkwardly sit in silence.

“Hi.” He quietly says.

“Hey.” I nod.

“How have you been?” He asks.

“Well considering we saw each other two days ago, not much has changed.” I slightly snap. “You?” I ask.

“Fine.” He matches my voice.

I hate when things are awkward between us.

“Do you want a drink?” Michael asks as he gets up.

“I’ll have a beer.” I request.

“Okay, Luke?”

“I’m not drinking tonight.” He answers whilst staring at the ground.

“Alright.” He nods and goes indoors.

“Why aren’t you drinking?” I ask after a while.

“Don’t feel like it, I might have one later.” H shrugs.

“I’m not gonna be drinking too much, so you won’t get lonely.” I inform.

“Thanks.”

“Here.” Michael hands me a beer.

“Thanks.” I wink after I took a sip.

“So, how’s life been for you?” Ashton asks me.

“Great, I’ve been so busy, but I’ve also been to the best parties ever.” I say.

“What makes them so good?” Calum asks.

“Well for starters, the people are so nice. My friend can get into any party, so we all get into the best parties. Plus, when we go out to clubs, people buy us girls all these drinks, so I only have to pay for a ride home.” I chuckle at some memories. “How many people are in you friendship group?” Erika asks.

“Quite a lot of people, there’s around six or seven of us who hangout a lot, but there’s always people who tag along.” I explain. “I think I’ve got a picture of some people.” I muse and take my phone out, looking through my camera roll.

It’s a picture of Juliet, Blake, and I, I’m pretty sure we were really drunk, but we look happy. I think Tori took it, we were messing around, dancing and shit, Juliet and I are laughing together, Blake’s arm is around my shoulders and he is smiling down at us.

“Here.” I pass my phone to Maddie.

“Damn, she is a fine look in girl.” Maddie whistles.

“Actually I have a gay friend you can go out with if you and Erika don’t work out?” I tell her as she passes my phone to Erika.

“Ooooooh, he is some fine piece of ass.” Erika says and I laugh.

“You’re friends with these people?” Calum questions.

“What are you trying to say?”

“That you aren’t hot enough to be friends with people like this.” He states and passes my phone to Michael.

“Can I have her number?” Michael requests.

“She’s got a boyfriend.” I inform him. “They aren’t interested in cheating like some people.” I mutter very quietly.

“I’m straight, but I can appreciate his looks.” Ashton laughs and passes my phone to Luke.

They all gush over how good looking they are, and I find it weird because they’re my friends. Yeah, they are very pleasing for the eyes, but I don’t talk about it; plus I’m straight.

Luke rolls his eyes and scoffs slightly before passing my phone back to me.

“Can we not talk about my friends? Firstly the guy is probably the biggest fuckboy, he’s got a heart of gold though, and Juliet is in love with her boyfriend.”

“Wouldn’t mind getting fucked up by that dude.” Erika snickers.

“I’m going to go pee, by the time I’m back, you guys better talk about elephants or climate change or somthing.” I warn them and go in.

Doing my business and washing my hands, I reapply some mascara, before leaving the bathroom.

It’s a while later now, we’re all just talking about shit, and I’m slightly tipsy. The others are all fucked up, and they are gonna regret drinking this much tomorrow morning. Luke is still sober, he’s had one drink, and he is still on that.

“So, when do you guys go back on tour?” I ask Luke, trying to make some sort of conversation with him.

“4 or 5 days, I’m not entirely sure.” He shrugs, taking a sip of his beer.

“You excited?” I question.

“Yeah I guess, it’ll be good to get out performing again. This place is so full of uhm, memories.” He purses his lips and I nod, trying not to let it hurt me.

“My Mum, uh, she got all these disposable cameras developed, and then gave me a box full of the pictures. That’s where I got that picture of you, Michael, and me.” I tell him.

“Oh cool, how far back do they go?” He asks.

“To when I was 15 or 16, can’t quite remember.” I shrug. “If you want, you could go through them.”

“Might do that.” He says. “Were the pictures from Dubai there?” He blurts out.

“Some.” I murmur.

“Ca-,” Luke gets cut off by my phone ringing.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket, and seeing it’s Blake, a small smile makes its way on my face.

“Hey.”

“Hello, how’s it going?” He asks.

“Fine, you?” I ask and take a sip of my beer.

“Great! When do you come back?” He questions.

“I should be flying out tonight, actually.” I answer.

“Okay cool! It’ll be great to see you again, we’ve all missed you.” He informs.

“Can’t wait to see you guys either.” I bite my finger nail.

“So how will you be feeling in two days time?” He asks.

“I don’t know, probably fine.” I deadpan.

“Perfect, do you want to go to a party?” He questions.

“Maybe, I’ll see how I feel.”

“Well think about, everyone else is going, and we don’t want little Harper to feel left out.” He says in a baby voice.

“Oh fuck off. Don’t miss me too much.” I tell him and hang up before he can saying anything else.

“Who was that?” Erika asks.

“Blake,” I simply answer and put my phone in my pocket.

“Who’s that?” Luke asks.

“Just a friend.” I say.

“Sure, whatever, just a friend, keep telling yourself that.”

“Actually he was a friend whilst we were dating, and I can stay faithful, unlike you who can’t seem to keep it in your pants.” I harshly tell him, picking up my bag and storming out.

As I’m about to open the front door, I feel a gentle hand on my wrist.

“Harper, I’m sorry, babe please.” Luke tells me.

“I thought your mother told you not to lie.” I tell him. “I guess she also told you to treat girls with respect. Sorry is only meant to be said if you mean it.”

“I’m-”

“Sav-”

“Fine, whatever, I regret dating you anyway,” he shakes his head and turns around, as if I meant nothing to him.

It would hurt less if he punched or slapped me.

I sigh and walk out the door, slamming it behind me, trying to stay strong.

Rushing away as a few tears slide down my face, I should never of come, this was always gonna happen if Luke and I were in the same place. We can’t just ignore the whole reason we broke up. I won’t let that happen, we can’t just ignore the elephant in the room.

It was nice to spend some time with the others, but if I only got to spend a couple hours with them, was the expense of getting hurt again, I got fucking ripped off.

Suddenly a loud car horn and skidding of tires, fills my ears and I turn around, being met by a pristine white car, two distressed people in the front seat. My eyes widen as I realise it’s coming straight towards me, looking for a way to get out, then a sick yet appealing thought comes to my mind.

What if I left this world?

Luke clearly wouldn’t miss me, I’m only friends with the others and they’ll forget about me soon enough, I only knew my friends back in England for a few months, they’ll forget I even existed in months, my family might miss me, but they’ll carry on with their lives, we don’t see each other that often anyway.

I’ve never tried to get killed, thought about it, but I have never planned to, simply because I had things going for me. But now? I’ve lost my will to live. I lost the one thing that meant the most to me, and he did it by choice, not by force. He basically left me himself, he had the choice to stay with me, but he didn’t want me.

That makes me think if he ever liked me. Were all the years we were friends just lies? Did he even ever love me? Thinking about it causes everything to hit me harder than last time. I gave him everything, everything I could give him, but apparently that just wasn’t enough.

I remember the time we were in Dubai, where it all started. We spent the night together, and that night was just perfect. It was filled with cuddles and butterfly kisses, and although it was hot as fuck, I couldn’t think of being in a better place but his arms.

It seems crazy to think that that is the same person, let alone the same person I fell in love with.

The guys and girls will always be special to me, despite the situation. I know it’s mostly my fault, but I miss talking to them everyday. In a way I’m kinda glad I didn’t talk to them for a while, because anything to do with them, connects to Luke, and it hurt to even say his name at that point.

It still hurts to hear his name, but I can deal with it now, I have to.

In a way, I feel like they’ve taken Luke’s side, even though there are no sides in this situation, what he did was wrong, I feel like they’ve taken his side. I think the fact that I’m not talking to them plays a part in it.

I don’t need anyone if I’m gonna give up anyway.

What’s even the point of living if the only thing that’s been with me through thick and thin, is simply gone?

The car beeps and flashes it’s lights at me, the two people in the front wave their hands to the left, with distressed features, I think the woman is crying, but I don’t care, I don’t care about anything anymore.

So I just take a tiny step closer, straighten myself out, and look down at my wrist, touching the ink that adorns my skin.

Never thought that those letters would mean so much to me and I would mean nothing to who these letters belong to.

Keeping my fingers on the ink as I let myself be free as the car get closer very fast, not expecting to come out of this, I let my - hopefully - last words out.

Something I haven’t said in a very long time.

“I love you Luke,”

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