#i still have to find the really big ones

[icewindandboringhorror]

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY!!! To this elderly bapy boye!!! he...!!!

#cats #ghhbbb this is the first time I've genuinely considered tumblr blazing a post lol but no.. i shant.. I feel too weird putting financial #information into tumblr or whatever unless I made like a seperate bank account or something not associated with anyhting else lol #but I gave it serious contemplation which is really sayng something (the evil magical spell that all cats cast over u by their perfection) #ANYWAY.................... old man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #it's technically like march 8th but I did his party a little early. I have other pictures to post later maybe too..hrmm #The '1' candle is actually a '4' candle with the side part cut off because they didn't have any 1s #I went all out (like under $15 still lol) and got new birthday decorations for him instead of using the same old #ones from the past like 5 birthdays that I've done for the cats lol.. #His theme was rainbows mostly in as light of colors as I could find #The legal age to drive a car in the US is 16 so.... honk honk beep beep.. I shall go out and buy him the most expensive car on the market #as soon as March 8th comes. then he can run little errands (probably mostly getting kibbles or chicken somewhere) #stealing the rotisserie chickens from walmart or something lol #AND they would let him have them. He would drive up and walk inside and they'd call the manager to come over #and they would be so moved by his presence and his big goofy stare that they would just be like..... okey.. have all the chicken in the #entire store. Actually. have the store. it's yours now. And This would continue all the way up the chain until he was handed #the entire walmart company. And every other company. a boy who owns everything. probably wouldnt use it for evil. he'd just abolish #everything and then focus on eating chickens.. ........ chibken son...

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

MDZS x Warrior Cats AU (part 1): That boy can meow!

Names and a huge inspiration credits to @clintbeefwoods!

(part 2)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #mdzs au #mdzs warrior cats au #wei wuxian #mo xuanyu #little apple #lan wangji #lan wunian #If you thought for a second I wouldn't find a way to keep littlewang in this au #then you have severely underestimated my horse yuri powers. #The start of the Warrior cats AU begins! Yes the clans are somewhat the same but the lore *has* shifted to better suit mdzs canon. #For one: Cross clan apprentice training is an option. Gusu school arc is still a school arc. #wwx would have a blast pouncing on lwj's Too Long Tail He Has Yet To Grow Into. #(Its very important to me that lwj/bluepaw has those kittenish big ears). #I will probably circle back to drawing teenxian apprentice antics after I get through the cast. #I had to put myself into a cat drawing boot camp for this AU (despite my sona being a cat I...actually don't really know how to draw one). #and I feel like I learned a lot + need a lot more practice...however this *is* the practice! It's for fun! #I'll be alternating comics and AU stuff this month! happy chatember! #Clintbeefwoods has put a ton of work into this AU and I am so excited to show it off!

[ride-a-dromedary]

Again I know it's supposed to be a haha reference to the turns into a bear when he's too aroused thing, but in again refusing to brush just over the surface of this character: "I must be careful or I'll lose run of myself again. An Archdruid should show *some* restraint." comes across to me as more melancholy than perhaps intended when a. You take it into consideration that several lines imply that Halsin has issues with self control and self servitude, and presenting an "acceptable" version of himself as an outwards facing authority figure, to the point where he brushes over his own feelings, or pushes things that he wants down in the effort to reflect better what others want from him.

And b. Remember that Halsin was essentially just an apprentice when he was forcibly situationally promoted to Archdruid - he wasn't taught *how* to be an Archdruid or trained for it, or mentored; he was thrust into it because they didn't have any other choice. But they needed someone, so he stepped up. Halsin has spent the last century studying and learning things on the fly or through trial and error, and in a position of leadership like that, he is aware that every failure to uphold that mask *counts* and others *are* very much affected. How many times has he muttered that same mantra? Or heard it thrown around? An Archdruid not having control over their own magic is a big deal. Even when he is no longer Archdruid, he still grumbles it to himself. He's been at it over a century and he *still* doesn't feel like he's gotten it right. Even when he is in a place of progression, of trying to gain hold of himself again, those wisps of failure and self doubt still creep into everything. And that's sad to me.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #haha funny line in response to saucy line that man is about to go feral ooh se- HEY TRAUMA #it's like a med student being promoted to the head of emergency #or an admin assistant suddenly being put in a ceo role #like i know it's a meme scene!! but halsin sounds *humilated* when he accidentally wildshapes during his romance scene #he sounds flustered and embarrassed and is so quickly launching off excuses with a tone that indicates *he thinks it's over* #like he fucked up he fucked this up just when he was *starting* to come into himself again and it never stops #i keep thinking of that one lyric from big thief 'i can't find surrender/and i can't keep control' #and again i'm reading too deep into it but halsin's struggle with failure really is embedded here you just have to...like listen to him #Even when he *says* that there's little point in denying oneself #he does it literally all the time - he did it for a *century* #and i'm not saying he doesn't have fun or not enjoy things but he cuts himself off so early at the root #or buries himself so thoroughly in a self indulgence until it wrecks him and neither of these things are healthy #note that he says as long as others aren't affected - he doesn't say as long as i'm not affecting *myself* #anyway i'm unwell #maybe i was never meant to be archdruid - you weren't! you were meant to protect nature's spirit and roam with the wilds #and yet he still did the best he could and people *admire* him and followed him but he may never come to see it that way #you ruined a perfectly good wood elf - look it's got trauma and anxiety (and larian turned him into a meme and i won't forgive them)

[spacedlexi]

the way the ericson group were at the outbreak just a bunch of troubled kids who made various mistakes or committed crimes and were judged by a system that punished and abandoned them instead of giving them the support and love they needed, are then nearly a decade later put into a situation where now they must judge a troubled child for the mistakes and crimes hes committed against them. and 5 to 3 vote them out 😭

#twdg #i love the way s4 connects back to lees whole 'murderer' thing back in s1 😭 guilt...atonement.....systems of punishment #i love thinking about s1>s4 themes and crying #anyway this is partially why i hate when i see the ericson cast reduced down to 'just some teens' its so much more than that #them being abandoned in a boarding school for troubled kids is SO IMPORTANT its not 'just some school' #anyway its also probably why theyre my favorite cast #theyre literally one of if not the most mature group of the series even while being a bunch of kids who make choices i dont agree with #because they actually love and care about each other. even when theyre mad. because theyre all they have left #i do think the vote was a fair way to handle it even tho i still ultimately find it cruel. they couldve talked it out #but this is still a story that needs conflict to resolve so is what it is #they would rather they leave than have to face their confused feelings. the most immature thing they do. but understandable #they did such a good job crafting that cast for clem GOD an entire ensemble built around her and aj....delicious #zombie/post apoc media about love and community my beloved 😭 #sorry but get tf out of here with that 'humans are evil and everyone dies' lame ass bullshit we are nothing without community #the amount of love pouring out of s4 is like getting my ass kicked but then they give me a big hug and kiss after and send me on my way #s4 my absolute beloved i really love it more and more every time. so much to appreciate even with it the way it is #the themes bro the themes........ the connections between seasons 1 and 4 you are everything to me #it speaks

[sunderberry]

i like drawing these two. their designs are fun. i think it's the fluff, the heart motifs, and the stupid hats. and also their size difference

the bottom two are sort of like "what if valentino owned husk" ideas

#hazbin hotel #valhusk #hazbin husk #hazbin valentino #valentino #husk #obligatory “i don't condone val's actions i just like his design and antagonistic role in the story” tag #idk if i should tag this as ship amd tbh i don't think they even have a ship tag #i just like the size difference. husk holding val's arm like a child #i have a lot of thoughts about the “val owns husk's soul” au actually #it isn't a swap au. val still owns angel #yes val is his canon levels of abusive self and husk has a terrible time #angel and husk are acquaintances. they are friendly with each other but val keeps angel on too tight a leash #husk isn't very important to val. he brings in enough clients that he's allowed to just exist in the background #maybe one day husk stumbles across a broken angel and can't help but clean him up and tend to his wounds #they could become proper friends #though neither would be in the right place to even consider a relationship #i just really like it when husk's heart is too big for his own good #i imagine valentino would start being worse with husk once he finds out he and angel are friendly #there's only so much i can go into the au on tumblr unfortunately #sun art #oh yeah in the second pic yes his wings are clipped :) #edit: yeah i'll tag the ship actually

[canisalbus]

just a quick ask to tell u it makes me super happy seeing the detail u go into when pointing out stuff u like about other people's art of ur ocs :3 it's so rare to see but it's so so motivating!! <3

Thank you! I don't take any interest for my art for granted, and if someone goes through the trouble of drawing my characters for me, I feel like trying to write a proper response is the least I can do. For a visually oriented person, receiving gift/fan art is a huge deal, it means someone considered my goobers worth their time and effort, they've probably been thinking about them more than a little and found them inspiring in a way or another, and I find that terribly flattering. It's extremely fun and interesting to see other people's takes on them. And I've drawn stuff for people as well, I know how nice and rewarding it feels to receive a response that is longer than a word or two. Positive comments like that can linger in people's minds for a long time, at least for me they do.

#this comes with a big serious disadvantage though #it often takes me a long time to write that response #my social batteries are extremely small and a lot of the time by the time I go online I feel too worn out to engage with people properly #I'm autistic anxious and severely depressed my spoons are in short supply at the best of times #I've always had really hard time putting my thoughts into words in a way that I find satisfactory #so I keep putting off reblogging gift art #because most of the time my brain is too smushed to formulate that meaningful comment I want to give #maybe that sounds dumb and fake #but this is something I've struggled with for years and I feel extremely guilty for keeping people waiting like that #often weeks sometimes months even #and potentially making them feel underappreciated and unnoticed #I'm also genuinely very scatterbrained and unorganized and I miss and forget things I'm supposed to do all the time #not to mention that I tend to have trouble keeping track of my mentions and dms and asks I'm only one person #so if you've ever drawn something for me and I didn't/haven't responded yet #please know it's not personal it's entirely my fault I'm kind of a mess #and chances are I'm still very much attempting to get back to you #feel free to remind me if you feel like I might have not noticed your post I really don't mind at all it often helps me a lot #and please if you can don't delete the post even if it seems like I didn't see it #because again sometimes it takes me a long time to respond #thank you to everyone who has stayed endlessly patient with me though I appreciate it #sorry this spiraled into a list of apologies and excuses this is actually something that bothers me a lot #because it's largely a mental health thing but easily comes off as ungratefulness #I'm trying to work on that #answered #anonymous

[mari-lair]

I lost interest in tbhk.

I'll try to finish my interactive au and the fic docs I already started, answer some of my asks too, when I have the time, but unless the new chap spark that excitement again I'll just... become a casual reader.

(I do still have pieces of my insane era on my docs though, so if interested I'll share the drafts and incomplete scenes of some fics)

EDIT: I WON'T CANCEL THE DTIYS EVENT, PRIZES AND ALL! No worries about that!

#ngl a big BIG part of my loss of interest is because of this fandom #this fandom has plenty of nice people (i genuinely love many people I frequently see in my notes) and i want to share my ideas with them! #They're the reason I still have some excitement when I work on tbhk aus and the ones that make me want to hold on this feeling #but overall? I hate it here. I don't like to focus on the bad things but I really can't find a nicer way to say it without it being a lie #I won't go on a tirade about why this fandom bothers me (no one is here for that) but yeah... I just don't see why I would stay #now that I have a new characters to be insane about outside this place #if you read all these tags hello I see ya

[every-sanji]

#one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #everysanji #thriller bark #ch462 #theres been someone whose been slowly reblogging some of my like. really old posts #and doing some absolutely fantastic character analysis in the tags #but oh my god you're reminding me of the cringe captions i used to leave on every post #i did that FOR LIKE. IM PRETTY SURE OVER A YEAR. #IF IT WASNT SO LONG I'D GO BACK AND EDIT ALL OF THEM BUT EUGH #all but one i think the birthday post was funny okay that one was funny and i had to consolidate so much to get it to post on the right day #god. i cant believe this will probably post after the blog anniversary #4 years of every sanji. how do we feel guys #as of queuing this i have uh. 2302 followers and i'll probably have a few more by the time you actually see this #absolutely insane that people still follow this silly gimmick blog i've been running since i was 19 #ik i have said it before but this little project got so big and i dont even particularly care for op anymore #i just keep this blog running for the bit of finding every sanji and watching people be amazed at the really really small ones #that i manage to find in the background. its a special skill you gain by running a blog like this #anyway no more tag rambles i want to try and finish this volume tonight if i can

[feline-evil]

Dethvanity is really funny to me conceptually as an episode because you can see how little they had to make the characters insecure about for the bit. They swing for obvious lowblow choices with Pickle' baldness and Nathan's weight and even those require some suspension of disbelief because ok. Sure. Nathan '(said extremely proudly) never skipped a meal in my life!' Explosion is insecure about being a big man now. Nathan *guy who everyone thinks is smoking hot 99% of the time* Explosion is a tiny bit larger than usual and is insecure about it now. Lol. Lmao even.

But anyway then we hit Skwisgaar and Toki and there's like NOTHING to swing for, you can see them going uhhh ok Skwis doesn't sleep he probably drinks a lot of coffee, and Toki? Shit, what does Toki have to be insecure about with his looks. He's perfect, he's adorable, he's ripped. Um. FUCK IT, HE'S DOING NOTHING BUT EATING LEMONS. WE GOT NOTHING, WE GOT NOTHING, JUST GIVE THE BOY CITRUS FRUITS.

WOE 🍋 BE UPON YE

I'm sure i could make some smarter points about the attempts at applying vanity in this ep and how outside of this and a few other moments i do actually like that the show rarely takes pot shots at things like Nathan's weight, but you see Nathan has shirtless scenes in this one and so my intelligence is impeded when all the blood rushes out of my head and into my-

#metalocalypse #jay talkin #I LOVE TOKI'S LEMON EATING CHALLENGE HES ON IN THIS EP. BABY YR STRANGE AND PECULIAR #pickles being insecure abt balding is funny too. my man has chosen a hairstyle that is actively making that worse for himself #buddy if u didnt have whiteguy dreads impromise yr hair wld be healthier. but we love u for yr octopus swag anyway <3 #also hi nathan dont listen to the tv listen to me you look great. hi hello. im unsheathing my sword to cut down anyone who makes u feel bad #EVERYBODY IN UNIVERSE IS A COWARD. ITS BIG BOY SEASON. COME GET U ONE #dethvanity isnt in my list of favs i think most its humour is rlly easy lowballs but i find it funny for reasons outside of that #which is namely the show trying to make charavters insecure abt things when they absolutely are not any other time lmao #trying to find things to make skwis and toki insecure abt but theres NOTHING. ITS RLLY FUNNY #listen. putting my hand on everyones shoulder. lets not ignore the elephant in the room this show is uh #OFTEN VERY FATPHOBIC. so its no bastion of rep just cuz it doesnt take all the pot shots it cld at nathans body #it still does take some and theres plently of fatphobia outside of nathans character #but i do like that nathan is a bigger guy and outside of a few eps thats just treated as smth fine! its not remarked on outside of those! #and i think his body is drawn really well and i like that hes permitted to be sexy and to be like. seen with his body out just as much #as like anyone else in the band. like yeah duh nathan explosion is sexy in universe ppl are rocking with this. AS THEY SHOULD BE #idk like i say. not denying the show its fatphobia just saying i like how nathan is treated and portrayed a lot of the time :]

[yohankang]

i officially resigned today :')

#i still have to work there bc i've got a one-month notice period. but i did it!!! #the conversation with my boss went well! she was really nice and supportive #she said she was worried about me bc she could tell i was struggling. and that she understands my decision #and in case i won't find a new job this month they can extend my contract #i cried a lot 😭 #and now i'm terrified and sad bc i really love some of my coworkers and i don't want to leave them #but at the same time i'm SO relieved. i feel like i will be able to sleep well tonight. for the first time in weeks #k.txt #also sorry guys i've been mia. and sorry for not answerings your messages #but between working full time searching for a new job doing final assignments for uni and crying. i honestly don't have any energy left #i only logged in to tell you the big news :') and now i'm back to my assignment :( see ya in a week when my exam hell is over

[good-beanswrites]

hii hiii is it alright if I request something with kotoko and haruka?(platonic ofc) their character foils drive me insane with all the weak stuff authngghn icant be normal about them

Oooh thank you so much for the request! I realized that these two actually have one of the smallest windows to talk easily, given Haruka's nervousness and Kotoko's T2 changes. They have such interesting approaches to strength/weakness, and I hope I could capture it a bit here! This takes place immediately following Kotoko's bday timeline after Harrow's release:

“I’ll accept those birthday wishes…” Kotoko gave him a wave over her shoulder as she returned to making her bed.  

She shook her head in awe. It was rather impressive how quickly the boy had changed after his verdict. The others had more subtle differences, but he was someone entirely new. She could rest easy, at least, knowing that her verdict wouldn’t change her much. For as long as she could remember, she’d been like this. She knew where she stood, and neither guilty nor innocent verdict would affect that. This verdict was really only an indicator on whether the warden could be trusted or not. 

Her body tensed up when she turned back around, startled by Haruka lingering silently in the doorway. She decided against chastising him for scaring her half to death. Still, she couldn’t keep the bite from her voice as she asked, “did you need something else?”

“Ah… I just…” He twisted his hands together. “I had a question.” 

He fell silent, but Kotoko could tell he was chewing on his next words. She waited.

“H-how do you do it? All the time? You’re older and stronger and braver and I-I just don’t know how.”

“Give yourself some credit. I’m not that much older, or stronger. I only have, what -- two, three years on you? And you did very well in the arm wrestling tournament the other day.” 

She wasn’t being patronizing. For someone so sheltered, Haruka could do some damage. He stood a few inches taller than her. The others had taken the arm wrestling as a little game, but Kotoko had used the event to measure up her fellow prisoners. After his close match with Mikoto, she had made a mental note to take him seriously. 

“No…” his expression twitched, getting frustrated with the misunderstanding. “Not muscles. I mean… you don’t have someone like Muu. You don’t need someone next to you all the time. But you still talk with everyone… and it looks easy. All the time. You always know what to say, and what to do. You never look scared. You never cry.”

Kotoko’s smile softened. She wasn’t the prideful type, but his words gave her a wave of accomplishment. She certainly was scared. She did cry. But she wasn’t about to show a single crack in her resolve in front of anyone here. Haruka had given her the greatest of compliments by confirming her success.

“Ah, you mean strength of spirit. Well, that doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It comes with my purpose, with my virtues.”

“Virtues…?”

“I see the injustice around me, and want to protect the innocent. When I see how awful the world can be, when I see the monsters that are hurting those who are weak, I can’t help myself.” She clenched her fist. “The power to do so just comes to me.” 

“Oh…” Haruka looked down at his palms. 

Her heart sank, realizing he didn’t quite understand. It was a shame that not all of humanity could be as righteous as her. That heroic drive had always come so naturally to her; she wasn’t sure she could put it into words to explain to others.

Haruka’s open hands were trembling. “Um. Is there any other way?”

“Hm?”

“All my life… I only cause pain to everyone.” His worry gradually turned to desperation.” I hurt everyone who gets close to me. Especially things that are small and weak. My whole life, I’ve been nothing but a… a curse. So… is there another way? Please. I want to be better. I want to be strong! I want to be like you! Tell me!”

He stepped forward, pleading. Kotoko stepped back. 

His blue eyes widened at her sudden shift into defense. “Ah! I. I’m sorry. I’m-I’m sorry. It’s your birthday. You should be… Have a g-good day.”

“Wait.” Kotoko stopped him before he could flee. She was aware of the massive gap between them, the vastly different backgrounds they came from. Still, she offered the same advice that had helped her in her toughest of days. 

“Don’t worry so much about others’ strength. The quickest way to burn yourself out is getting overwhelmed with the power that’s all around you. Once you start putting all your focus toward honing your own skills and strengths, you’ll realize how much you’re truly capable of. You don’t need anyone else. You’ll realize that you are enough.”

“I… am enough…?”

She placed a hand firmly on his shoulder. 

“So, no need to get all worked up now, okay?” 

“O-okay. I’ll do my best.” He stiffened, trying to appear worthy of her words.

She let out a bitter laugh. “I told the others not to do anything for my birthday, but I don’t think they paid me any mind.” Kotoko still couldn’t fathom how they were so friendly with each other given the situation. “Let’s go see if there’s some cake or something.”

#milgram #kotoko yuzuhira #haruka sakurai #thank you so much! this one was super interesting to write 👀 #the thing is even though they dont have any direct problem between them they would still have a hard time communicating #but once they DO communicate there would so much they could learn from/help each other with!!! #this is leaning into my theory that kotokos murder (like harukas) was a rightful emotion that spiraled out of control #it really puts it into perspective how young kotoko is when you remember shes not too much older than haruka #and theyre both susceptible to strong emotions that stem from feeling weak int he face of the big scary world #but kotokos sees her as some blessing of power to serve her heroic thoughts and haruka sees his as a curse #ty to my pals who helped me find the exact spot in the timeline i was looking for 🙏 #although kotoko doesnt believe she can change that easily she 100% undergoes the exact type of dramatic change as the others #once again referencing the arm wrestling info from yamanaka #between that and the fact that strangulation actually takes a fair amount of power #i just think its very good to remember that haruka is so physically strong #also something something kids looking up and wanting to be like kotoko and her complex emotions on that.... #these two are sooooo interesting AH #drabbles

[sunnibits]

a little eggie I did today while on FaceTime with a friend <3 ended up with a sort of soft cloudy vibe this time?? I like it :)

#everyone seemed to really like my last egg so here have another one #once again big inspo credit to @quezify on tumblr #their eggs slay so hard. I am a humble egg novice in comparison. #anyways I definitely didn’t try as hard on this one as the last egg but I still had fun and enjoy how it turned out #drawing eggs is rlly fun and I find that doing things completely out of my normal style is really helpful for cheating my way past art block #so if ur struggling with art rn I highly recommend attempting an Egg :) #art #my art

[shima-draws]

The fact that this won’t even be the LAST time Sanji gets horribly manipulated by another woman. I’m just 😔

#HE’S A SIMP and girls take advantage of that too often 😭 #AND THE FACT THAT he still forgives them anyway!! Even after putting him through hell!! #Listen say what you want about Sanji but there’s no denying that he’s. SUCH a good person #Too good of a person who is endlessly kind and caring and forgiving #Sanji gives and gives and gives and never takes. He’s so stupidly selfless sometimes it makes me want to cry #And people take advantage of that so often :’( #HE’S A GOOD BOY!!! He doesn’t deserve this #Shima speaks #One Piece #Sanji #Black Leg Sanji #He literally became my favorite (besides Luffy) for this exact reason #The fact that he’s so self sacrificing. The fact that he gives himself entirely to other people #And doesn’t expect anything in return #And has so little self worth I just. FUCKING hell dude. #His attempted sacrifice at Thriller Bark was a really big thing too #’They can always find another cook’ that was probably his thought process #BUT SANJI MY LOVE. THEY CAN NEVER FIND ANOTHER SANJI. ANOTHER YOU #If Sanji had taken Zoro’s place he WOULD have died. And that would have fucking torn Luffy APART #SLAMS MY HEAD INTO THE GROUND UGHHH SANJI. I LVOE YOU

[thedrotter]

as a little treat i am sharing with you little Aya doodles I've done over the last few days to unwind ww just little expressions based on lines in-game because those are always fun to draw. nothing too special just biscuit

it's Aya because upon doing bizarrely throughout playthroughs of the game for still unspecified project purposes I've gained a soft spot for her she's my daughter now my mental tier list on my favorite characters is so confusing right now

#re:kinder #fanart #aya re:kinder #aya hibino #i state shes my daughter NOW because before i didnt pay too big of a mind to her #but honestly in each different playthrough of this game i gain new appreciation for each character #because fun fact ryou was my favorite character at first just because he seemed nice and was a healer and was nice #second playthrough brought in rei and shunsuke in my mind because they ate it up wirh their roles in the story #meanwhile as time passed yuuichi started to grow on me as i realized he was a little too relatable BASICALLY THINGS LIKE THAT #and spoilers for the unspecified project mentioned in the text just because i feel like it #i also did this because having a transcript of every line just spurred me on becquse of how easy it made things #its much more fun to start doing these kind of line based doodles when you dont have to manually go througj hours of gameplay to find stuff #so just being ablr to ctrl f through a document made me very glad HEUEHEHEBEHR #im still working on it it needs proofreading and polishing on some sides but overall it should be here soon i hope #if anyones interested in it do let me know HUEHEHEBRB i will post it regardless but it would be nice to know if anyone is interested #ANYWAY #as to why Aya seems to have a purse when her sprite doesnt its because her equipment mentions her carrying a yellow pouch #its meant to be that!!! #she looks very goofy with it on made me giggle ngl #(as in. amusement) #it adds more interest to her visual design so its nice to have it there im glad its there #OH YEAH SOME COMMENTARY ON ONE OF HER LINES HERE THAT REALLY PIQUED MY INTEREST #if sayaka dies and shes there to see it (thus. you chose to bring her with you) she has this line #where it implies that shes afraid of dying which makes things sad when she's suicidal #she already states i think her desire is more to disappear than to die exactly but even then it's quite sad #like even if she wants to disappear with how gloomy she's feeling and all the things going around with her parents #shes just a little girl who doesn't want to die😭😭 #it really adds a sense of realism to how depression is tackled in game at least for me #that when one is depressed and suicidal a lot of the time it's the wish for this state of suffering to end rather than to actually die #SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER ITS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT UPPED MY APPRECIATION FOR HER

[johnnyutah]

Anyway speaking of bad media. When I find whoever collected all these movies and shows I’m going to shoot them in the stomach

#IT WAS MEEEE AUSTIN. #i don’t have a shelf big enough :-( #(they’re leaning on my currently empty bookshelf LOL) #also i’m definitely still missing at least one box but i couldn’t find it tonight so that’ll have to be a fun surprise for later #and Also you can really trace my terrible taste in action movies thanks to how many bad movies i inherited from my mom #and i pared her collection down sm too 😭

[dazais-guardian-angel]

kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....

#bungou stray dogs #been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me)) #cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands) #but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people #first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now #he was groomed since childhood just like dazai #but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there #and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong #but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself #which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong #and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia... #and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO #where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!! #it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay. #chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself #and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him. #didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!! #i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess #and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just #One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall #he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!! #there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma #and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc #it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!! #even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man #both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation #i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda #and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death #oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)