#i understand why my granny hated holidays now lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

myshiki · 5 years

Text

atx places & their meanings to me

E. Croslin St. apartments: first place I lived when moving to Austin. Loneliness. Fear of change. Fear of everything. The realization that I was bi and struggling with coming out. Being a toxic person with my relationships with EVERYONE. Having fun with/living with the people I viewed too highly (because of age and their relationships to Alexa and cuz I thought they were cool) to the point of being extremely insecure and self-conscious and sensitive. Learning how fucking terrible cockroaches are. Transferring too much of Dad’s money. A place that pushed me to change.

Habibi’s Hutch Preschool: my first job in Austin. Every day coming here was terrifying because I had never worked at a preschool before. I hadn’t even been a nanny yet, only worked at Build-A-Bear. I told them I didn’t know how to change a diaper and they still hired me. I was amongst the youngest ones there and everyone else was like 35+. It was the most Austin thing I had ever seen. The kids were outside 80% of the time unless they were napping or it was bad weather. Sandy. Paint everywhere. Sand and paint all over me. Teachers there talking to me like I was stupid. Very hot. Made me tough and made me want to still work with kids though!

Muellar Shopping Center: the place I would go to most when I first moved here. I needed a place that felt suburbian and like Arlington because I was homesick. I would call Sheyenne and Abby here and cry on the phone to them. I look back on this and realize how boring of a girl I was. lol

Yellow house at the end of Madison Avenue: current place of residence and last in Austin (for now at least). Living here made me realize you can’t trust anyone. For the first time, a person I planned on having as a best friend for life walked out and ghosted me for good. Financially struggling. Thinking the house was haunted or cursed. My favorite bedroom I’ve ever had. Perfect corner windows where my bed stood. Realizing how strong of a couple me and Sheyenne are and how much I love her. Having anger for everyone else who lived there and fucked me over. An anger bigger than me but not being able to do anything about it. Decorating the house for the holidays. Grandma/grandpa vibes. Starting shows (like Glee and Gilmore Girls, etc.) with Sheyenne on our living room couch. Scary doing laundry in the garage. Big backyard. Last home of Pablo’s. A house I would have loved if the people in my life hadn’t ruined it for me and if I could afford it.

Tous Les Jours: bakery and cafe. one of my very top favorite places in Austin. Coming here to get a peace of mind. Kina Grannis and other good music play here. The best coffee frappe I’ve ever had. Free samples of pastries. Doing homework here with Sheyenne the 5 seconds I was still in school. The place right next to where Elle Mills did karaoke in her Austin video!! A place that almost made me feel oddly sentimental and reflective. (lol I’m here now!)

Schlotzsky’s on Balcones Woods Dr: I always knew I was too good for this place. I stayed as long as I did because of comfort. I met two friends there. One was my ex-best friend who I would say ruined my life here in Austin.. but she saved me and made me love Austin for a year here and that’s why I can’t be as mad at her as people want me to be. Most of my favorite Austin memories are with her and that’s the only good thing that came from this shit hole of a “restaurant.” The other girl I met there was a young, childish girl who was my friend at first and ended up living with me because we were desperate for a roommate. SHE DID add to ruining my experience in Austin in a big way and I have more anger towards her than any of my other past roommates.

Mozart’s Coffee Roasters: my favorite place in Austin. A coffee shop overlooking lake Austin. The first time I went was when Alexa took me and Paige before I even lived in Austin, and she made it sound like a casual place, which I guess it is to most, but I was so shocked because it is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen- no matter day time or night. I’ve come here to write, watch YouTube videos, sit with friends, eat cheesecake and other desserts that are way too expensive, draw and journal with Sheyenne, etc. This place is underrated.

The placement families’ homes I nannied at: there were two houses I nannied at. Both families for about a year. Both houses were vastly different, but both houses provided me a sense of belonging and purpose, friendship, food (lol) and happiness that sometimes I couldn’t find anywhere else in Austin. I was getting paid to hang out with 10-13-year-olds who became sisters to me and I know they’re jobs that I took for granted in the moment and will miss more than I can even imagine. I still talk to the last two girls I nannied and will most likely keep in touch with the girls I’m leaving this week.

Highland Neighborhood Park: this park is bare as fuck and really has nothing going for it. By our old apartments. It has a field and bleachers and that’s literally it. I’m adding this simple, little place because it is the place where Alexa and I had two of the hardest conversations we probably will ever have (or it’s up there). We sat in my car and got things off of our chests that we were terrified to talk about in fear of the other judging us. We’re sisters and love each other unconditionally and understand each other even though we were both talking about our own personal problems that the other had no experience with. Both conversations were hard and scary but freeing. You’d think I’d hate this place because of it, but I want to go back all the time.

Emerald Tavern Games & Cafe: this place is the weirdest, nerdiest place I’ve ever been and ever loved. The lighting isn’t ideal but they have pretty good drinks and a great food menu. You walk to the back and they have a massive wall of board games to choose from. If you don’t have friends to play with, you can put a flag up on your table that means that you’d like people to join you in a game. I never had to put a flag up because I would go with Autumn, Eidan, and Sheyenne. Autumn and Eidan ended up being the friends that stood by me and turned my saddest nights around. After the number of people that have disappointed me and fucked me over in Austin, I’ve been hesitant to rely on or trust anyone, but these two are always having me and Shy’s backs. We come here often and I feel so nerdy but I don’t care because it’s nice feeling happy and having friends.

The Frisco Shop: a diner that was oddly dark and had old people vibes, but I couldn’t have loved it more. My favorite times here were when I went with Alexa and Sheyenne. We were all going through shit but Alexa bought our meals and bought us pie and coffee and for that hour or whatever, everything was all good because I had my two favorite people with me eating southern cooking. After Alexa moved to NY, Sheyenne and I went a lot. So much that a server named Penny started recognizing us. She was maybe late 40′s and reminded me of Mamrie Hart and was the sweetest lady ever. This diner closed for good, and the day I found out I almost cried. The same sad feeling in my heart that I felt when the Blockbuster in Arlington had closed by my house.

Other places I’ve loved but can’t write a paragraph on:

-Waterloo Records

-Peter Pan Mini Golf

-Alamo Drafthouse (Sheyenne works there so we were always getting free tickets. This really helped make Austin better)

-Mount Bonnell

-Terra Toys

-P. Terry’s and HEB (simple staple places that I’m going to miss so much. P. Terry’s’ veggie burger is my favorite burger I think. HEB forced you to bring reusable bags instead of killing the environment with plastic bags. I will continue to use reusable bags in DFW).

-Rattan Creek Park (bittersweet feelings now)

I’m probably missing a lot. I love Austin, I just wish it had been good to me.

#atx #austin #austin is truly magical

12 notes · View notes

captainsleepingbeauty · 7 years

Text

11 Questions Meme

Tagged by @theprinceofprinces. Boy, I hope you know I don’t back down from a challenge lol.

Some answers are long, so I’m gonna put it under the cut.

1. Apples or bananas? Apples (specifically granny smith or gala).

2. Favorite season and why. Autumn. I love the crunchy leaves, the pretty colors, sweater weather, hot apple cider, late thunderstorms, Halloween... basically, the aesthetic of fall is The Best and I really like pumpkin spice and pecan pie, both of which are hard to find outside of the season.

3. TV or movies? Hmm... I like how short tv episodes are but I also really enjoy cinemaphotography... So both?

4. Would you rather eat one thing for the rest of your life or be able to drink whatever you wanted? Drink what ever I wanted. I would get so bored of eating the same thing by like day four I’d regret everything.

5. Favorite song(s) and why. My dude, why. Okay here goes (in no particular order):

- “Waltz of the Flowers”, Tchaikovsky. It’s just really peaceful and relaxing for me, and I like to imagine dancing to it in a pretty ball gown with the love of my life (who I have to find...). It also makes me think of peaceful nature walks.

- “Wait For It”, Hamilton: An American Musical. Idk the lyrics just really hit home for me. Like, “I’m not falling behind or running late/ I’m not standing still/ I’m lying in wait” just helps me calm my anxiety that I’m not doing enough with my life. I really identify with Burr, honestly, for a greater part of the story. (But I’m opinionated af.)

- “Stars” from Les Mis, Collabro. Chills. Everytime. I love it so much.

- “Carol of the Bells”/”Wizards in Winter”, Trans Siberian Orchestra. My Christmas/winter holiday jams, and therefore I am lumping them.

- “No Place Like Home”, Todrick Hall. The beat, the tempo, the lyrics... and the message is rebellious and I love it.

- “Expensive”, Todrick Hall. It makes me feel badass and hot af.

- “Shape of You”, Ed Sheeran. I can’t not dance to it. An impossible task.

I could go on, but I’ma cut myself off here.

6. Soup or salad? Salad.

7. Art or sport? Art. All of them. I’ve never been very athletic and I don’t really watch sports, but I have loved music and writing and art and theater since I was a kid.

8. Song or dance? Hmm... I like to sing and I like to dance, but given the choice between to two... I can’t pick. I’m not very good at this either or thing...

9. Favorite name(s) and why. W H Y would you ask this of me. Why. I put so much time into picking character names, I know so many...

- William. Idk I just really like the name William. It sounds kinda regal, but also common.

- Stevie. Considering it as my chosen name bc nicknames have gotten Out of Control with my college friends and I’ve never really liked my birth name. Long story short, we each have Avenger/Marvel nicknames (Save our dear Indy, for Indiana Jones) and I’m Steve. Cue gender dysphoria and never liking my name anyway, and suddenly I’m JaysaSteve and considering calling myself Stevie bc it’s gender neutral. Whoops.

- Anastasia. It is just a really pretty name imo. It also means ‘resurection’ which is pretty neat.

- Charlie. It’s neutral -- is it short for Charolotte? Charles? Who knows!

- Basically any name that’s unusual or not common. There’s a lot of names I like because they sound pretty to me. Others I like because of their meaning.

10. Tell me a story. *screams for an hour*

Okay, story time. Every fall, the ladies in my family (and before I went to college me as well) go up to Warrens, WI, aka Cranberry Country, for Cranberry Fest. My first year was when I was in fifth grade. We got to the fest at about 7 am and started wandering through the rows upon rows upon rows of vendors’ tents. We came across one (that I now know is there every year) that sold shawls and covers and the like. I found a sheer black shawl with orange jack-o-lanterns on it. Since Halloween was approaching and is my favorite holiday, I thought about buying it. It cost $15 or $20, I think. But, since I had maybe $100 for the day and it was only about 8 am, my mom said I should wait, just in case I found something I wanted more later in the day. We could always come back.

So I decided to wait, and we left the tent. We fought down the rest of the aisle that was packed with people, but before we reached the end, an elderly lady got our attention and stopped us. She had a plastic bag in her hand.

I don’t remember exactly what she said, or really even what she looked like, but I’ve never forgotten her.

She said she had seen me looking at the shawl in the tent, and that I really liked it, but then I walked away. She had hurriedly bought the very shawl I had been looking at, then rushed to catch up with my mom and I before we got lost in the crowd.

In the bag was the shawl. She gave it to me, a gift simply from the kindness in her heart. She expected nothing in return, just that someday I’d pass the kindness on to someone else.

When we caught up to my aunt and grandma at the end of the aisle, my mom had to tell them what had happened because I was crying.

People can be cruel, and that sticks with us, sure. But this lady did something kind simply because she could, and thought that I should have this pretty shawl that I had looked at with slight longing.

(Oh jeez, I’m crying now, almost 10 years later.)

11. Do you like where you currently are in life? No. I’m impatient to get to were I want to be (not living with my parents, a job I like, successful as a writer, an urban apartment, maybe not living in the US, living life as the nonbinary person I am and hanging out with friends...) and I’m just frustrated. I feel a little trapped, and I can’t express my gender at home because my family doesn’t understand nor do they really try to. I know I’m meant for bigger things but I just can’t get there *clentches fist*.

Tagging.... @theprinceofprinces! Big surprise, I know. Much shock, very startled.

1. What’s your stance on pineapple of pizza? 2. If you could choose a superpower, what would you chose? 3. What color are your bedroom walls? 4. Do you like to cook? If so, what’s your favorite thing to make? 5. Kringle or danish? 6. Is there a song that you hate? 7. What’s your preferred method of transportation? 8. Eye color? 9. What motivates you? 10. Water park or amusement park? 11. Riddle me this: Everyday I stalk you all day long, with every move you make, I never make one wrong. I vanish twice a day witht he sun’s height and fall. I will follow you everywhere, even the bathroom stall. What am I?

#csb speaks

2 notes · View notes

haphazardstudy · 7 years

Text

92 Questions Tag

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

I was tagged by the lovely lovely @seatudying and @colbystudies (and I feel like maybe someone else too? ahh sorry!), please follow them if you don’t already! 💛

I’m putting most of this under the cut because it’s SO LONG and also I feel like I always tag the same people in tag things so if you’re someone who likes to be tagged in things then please let me know so I can tag you!!!!! I don’t want to spam people who don’t want to be tagged!

Last: 1. Drink: teaaaaaa 2: Phone Call: my mum, calling me to come get her and the dogs from the park because she didn’t want to walk the whole way home again 3. Text Message: my granny, asking if she needed anything from the shop lol 4. Song you listened to: teenage dream (glee cover bc EW katy perry) 5. Time you cried: I cry from laughing on a fairly regular basis tbh sooo yesterday, but if sad crying then I can’t remember tbh

Have you: 6. Dated someone twice: this implies I’ve even dated once lol 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: ahahahaa kissing... 8. Been cheated on: nope 9. Lost someone special: yeah 10. Been depressed: honestly not sure but I think so 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope, no drinking for me thank yoouuu

List 3 favourite colors: 12-14: warm yellow, light pink, teal

In the last year have you: 15. Made new friends: yes!!! 16. Fallen out of love: nopeeee gotta be in it to fall out 17. Laughed until you cried: oh definitely! see number 5 18. Found out someone was talking about you: not that I remember 19. Met someone who changed you: nah 20. Found out who your friends are: what ???? 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I’ve never kissed anyone lol sorry to disappoint

General: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them except like 4 ppl I’m friends with and talk to loads but haven’t met irl 23. Do you have any pets: yep! 4 cats and 2 dogs 24. Do you want to change your name: eh, sometimes, because it’s so plain 25. What did you do for your last birthday: literally nothing wooo summer birthdays when everyone is busy/on holiday are just great 26. What time did you wake up: like 7:30 probably 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping 28: Name something you can’t wait for: going to uni!!!! basically getting to start a new and independent life 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: about an hour ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I’d love to lose some weight but lol I’m so lazy and exercise is hard 31. What are you listening to right now: a clock ticking lol 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: nothing atm 34. Most visited websites: tumblr, youtube, twitter 35. Mole/s: I got plenty (really tho I have loads of moles) 36. Mark/s: the dark mark 37. Childhood dream: I don’t think I ever rly had one lol how sad (maybe to be a singer? that’s still my dream tbh tho) 38: Hair colour: dark brown 39: Long or short hair: longish ??? 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nopeee 41. What do you like about yourself: idk I have good morals? like I don’t even have the capacity to understand why someone would do or say something mean or cruel 42. Piercings: none! 43. Blood type: I actually have no idea 44. Nickname: one certain friend calls me softie, my dad calls me dufus or snowflake 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: leo 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: currently BBC Merlin 💛 49. Tattoos: not interested tbh I have a low pain tolerance and I’m indecisive so tattoos don’t sound like a good idea for me 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: no[e 52. Hair dyed in different color: no but I’ve thought about dying it like ginger or something lol 53. Sport: literally nothing how sad 55. Vacation: I’m going to London in August ye buddyyyyy 56. Pair of trainers: what ???? whatever idk

More general: 57. Eating: I’m not great at eating tbh like I have a small appetite generally BUT I could eat entire packets of biscuits and I rly want some cookies rn 58. Drinking: always water # don’t hate hydrate 59. I’m about to: answer the rest of these then GO TO SLEEP 61. Waiting for: my birthday wooooo 62. Want: books 63: Get married: I will eventually but not for a good few years yet I hope 64. Career: not sure tbh but I’ve thought about teaching physics

Which is better: 65: Hugs or kisses: HUGS ALWAYS. GET UR SLIMY KISSES AWAY FROM ME 66: Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: whatever 68. Older or younger: older ??? but like not much either way 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms probably idk 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive pls 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: who would even pick troublemaker? are you okay????

Have you ever: 74. Kissed a stranger: nope 75: Drank hard liquor: nope 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lost my glasses for like 5 mins one morning bc I woke up and couldn’t see that they’d fallen under my bed somehow 77. Turned someone down: does it count if we were like 8 lol 78. Sex on the first date: no dating so no 79. Broken someone’s heart: not that I know of 80. Had you heart broken: nope 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes ofc 83. Fallen for a friend: no

Do you believe in: 84. Yourself: I try to!!! 85. Miracles: yep 86. Love at first sight: ehhh probably not 87. Santa Claus: no :’( 88. Kiss on the first date: I mean, yeah, people can and do do this

Other: 90. Current best friend name: I have like 3 best friends leave me alone 91. Eye colour: blue/grey BUT I have some goldeny brown in one eye wooo 92. Favourite movie: GIFTED 💛 Chris Evans and McKenna Grace are my favourite people and I sobbed like a baby for most of the film

#haphazardtalks #yikes this was long #got tagged

1 note · View note