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#i was just thinking this reminded me of the caps cup run in 2018
soapskneebrace · 3 months
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this is me asking for the monastery gelato story :)
I feel like this might be underwhelming lmao. So in May 2018, I went on a month-long study abroad trip to Florence, Italy to make art, eat pasta, and as it turned out sweat my ass off because Europe for some reason does not believe in the miracle of air conditioning.
The curriculum was VERY rigorous, not just academically but also physically by necessity of the fact that we had to walk fucking everywhere to get literally anywhere. I walked all over central Florence to get to museums, art galleries, various historical sites, and the international art school hosting us for in-studio classes.
One of the historical sites we visited was San Miniato al Monte, and I figured out the hard way that "al Monte" meant "at the top of a big fuckoff hill".
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This is not my photo. The phone I took all my photos with for this trip shat itself in Venice when I left it next to a running sink. I have very few photos of this entire trip, and none of this story.
Luckily, we had a bus to drive us there! Just kidding. The bus took us from the station and deposited us at what I swear to god was the very base of the hill. We proceeded to walk up that hill for the next forty-five minutes.
Here's a fun fact about me: the heat makes my brain melt. I think it's an autistic thing. My brain also doesn't function when I'm hypoglycemic, which in Italy I always was because I'm a sensitive eater and didn't have enough time to figure out any safefoods (which I'll point out that at the time I didn't know was something I could or should do). Likely at that point in the day all I had eaten was a croissant and an espresso.
So I don't actually remember a lot about this day trip. I remember sweating like a whore in church (ha, get it, because it's a church), I remember a graveyard with old weathered statues, and getting eaten alive by mosquitos. We went inside, and I vaguely remember the interior.
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Fun fact about churches in Italy, you have to cover your shoulders if you're a woman. I have a corny Venezia scarf from that trip to Venice that I had to buy last minute. But that's a story for another time!
So, after we got the tour we were set free to explore the grounds. Personally, I was not interested in exploring the grounds, on account of being near death by way of mosquitos and starvation and sweating every fluid from every pore. So I went to the gift shop. It was the only air conditioned building in the vicinity.
I remember there being a gorgeous rosebush outside the shop, heavy with pink blooms. I distinctly remember snapping a photo of the biggest of them, but that photo is lost to time and Apple products' vulnerability to singular drops of water. Before the gelato, that rose was the best part of my day--I've always loved flowers, and even when you're tired and hungry a pretty rose is going to remind you that life is not in fact horrible.
In the gift shop were displays of handmade little gifts directly from the monks that lived in the monastery. Little ceramic doodads and figurines, all hand painted and signed, lined the shelves, and in one corner of the shop was a waist-high freezer filled with plastic-capped paper cups.
I remember the pattern around the cups was green and pink and probably floral. I was of course minutes from death so I picked out the one that looked the fullest. It did not look impressive--just some chocolate ice cream, about the same size as little single serve cups you can get at Walmart or any gas station.
I paid maybe two euro for it, bought a little ceramic ewer to go with it (I don't have a picture of it but I'll post one later if I can find the thing), and found somewhere on the grounds to sit and eat.
I am an ex-Baptist and very passionate about that. I do not believe in the Christian god nor any of its associated divinity. But reader, when I took that first bite of gelato, Jesus Christ Himself floated down on a shaft of sunlight to stroke the hair away from my face and smile at me in the way a gentle parent might. The best ice cream I had ever eaten did not compare to how good this gelato was, on that hot Italian morning, in a quiet, weathered graveyard, with a rosebush swaying nearby in a breeze that finally seemed to be picking up.
I had gelato many, many times again on that trip--even from a very famous gelateria, Amorino, that you will probably find all over social media because they sculpt flowers out of gelato on a cone.
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Not my picture. Venice must always have its pound of flesh. Apple products are more suicidal than lemmings.
But nothing, not a single scoop, compared to that little paper cup of gelato. I will likely never be able to find that gelato again, because to be candid I'm not even totally sure it was the San Miniato monastery we went to. Time, mental illness, and trauma have stolen a lot of memories from me. But I will never forget that little moment of piece and sweetness for as long as I live.
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nortnaibz · 4 years
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im sorry 😔😔😔😔 for being a sports fan 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔
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olivemac · 3 years
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heartbeat | chapter three | b.b.
Summary | When Steve Rogers asks Kate Stark to find the Winter Soldier, she gets too involved.
Notes | Captain America: Civil War re-write, essentially. Starts just after the events of CA: Winter Soldier.
Pairing | Bucky Barnes x fem!oc, Bucky Barnes x Stark!oc
Genre | romance
Rating | explicit
Story Warnings | mild angst, fluff, romance tropes, so many romance tropes, coarse language, alcohol use, canon-typical violence, smut (m/f), oral sex (f&m receiving), 18+ ONLY
Chapter Warnings | all the romance tropes, coarse language, mild alcohol use, smut (m/f), oral sex (f receiving), 18+ ONLY
Citations | Du Maurier, D. (2018). Rebecca. Virago Press.
Things are starting to heat up.
master list | AO3 link
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prev chapter
_____
The next morning when Bucky sees Kate, she’s sitting on the front steps of the building feeding scraps of a meat-filled pastry to one of the stray cats that’s always congregating on the block.
“If you keep feeding that thing, it’s going to invite all its friends,” Bucky says by way of greeting.
“Good,” Kate replies, squinting up at him. “Maybe they’ll catch all the mice in the building.”
He chuckles and sits down beside her. She offers him the bag of warm pastries, which he accepts, pulling one out. He's drawn to her, he realizes. He doesn’t quite know why he finds it so easy to be around her, but he likes it.
"Did you just get back from a run?" he asks, looking at her trainers.
"Yeah." She looks at the bundle in his hands. "Bookstore?"
He nods, "They have a fairly decent selection in English."
Kate hums in response and takes a bite of her own pastry. "What are you reading?"
"Rebecca. Daphne de Maurier," he says. He doesn't mention he purchased it because the title made him think of his sister and he was afraid the memory of her name would slip away.
"A classic."
A bit of pastry filling lingers at the edge of her mouth and before he can stop himself, Bucky wipes it away with his gloved thumb. Their eyes meet and Bucky is staring at her like she's a puzzle he's trying to solve.
Kate looks away first, blushing. "Dinner again tonight?" she asks. "I mean...obviously, if you have plans, but...I'm terrible at cooking for one so...." She laughs nervously.
"Okay," he replies, a mirror of the first time she asked. He's still staring at her intently, but it's softer now.
"Okay," she says, her nerves disappearing.
_____
When they finish eating dinner, Kate asks Bucky if he'll read to her. His words have been few and far between, letting her carry their conversations – which she doesn't mind – but she's found she's lured to the deep timbre of his voice.
He hesitates for only a moment before agreeing. He ducks next door to grab his book and when he returns, they settle on her couch – Bucky at one end, Kate at the other.
He starts to read, "'Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.'"
_____
The next few weeks go by much the same. Kate cooks for Bucky and they eat together; they alternate between reading aloud to each other. Kate reads mostly newer releases – contemporary fiction, fantasy, the occasional thriller – while Bucky sticks to the classics, anything released before World War II.
He doesn't always listen when she reads. Sometimes he focuses on the steady rhythm of her heartbeat.
"You're staring," she says one night, not looking up from her book.
"Sorry," he replies.
He runs his tongue over his bottom lip, leans forward, and wraps one of the curls falling over her shoulder around a gloved finger before pulling away. Then he reaches down and pulls his gloves off slowly, first the right, then the left. He pushes his sleeves up over his forearms. His titanium arm catches the light, and Kate lets out the smallest gasp at the sight. At first, he thinks she's scared, but she sets her book down and takes his metal hand between both of hers, holding it tightly. He leans forward again and lets his bare right hand sink into the curls at the back of her neck. He's still staring at her, his eyes the color of stormy, midnight skies.
Kate thinks he might kiss her, and Bucky is certainly considering it – certainly wants to – but instead he bows his head forward onto her shoulder and breathes in the scent of her skin, his plush lips soft against her neck. They stay like that for some time, just holding each other, until finally, he presses a kiss so delicate behind her ear Kate isn’t sure it was real; he pulls away and stands.
"I should go," he says.
Kate nods, and before she can say anything, he's gone.
_____
Kate lays in bed that night thinking of his arm and what it means that he showed it to her. She's read his file, she knows about the enhancements HYDRA gave him, the torture they put him through. Tears sting the corner of her eyes, and before she can stop herself, she’s crying into her pillow.
Kate falls into a restless sleep, and when she dreams of her parents’ wreck, she sees Bucky standing outside the car.
_____
A few days into December, Tony texts Kate to ask how things are going, which is code for: You haven't been kidnapped, have you? Because that would be very inconvenient for me, but I'll put on the suit and come find you if I need to.
She’s blocked Tony from tracking her, but she knows he could if he really wanted to. He doesn’t.
She sends him two selfies. In the first, she's giving a thumbs up – the background discreet enough to be anywhere in Europe. In the second, she's wearing sunglasses and sipping coffee.
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, Tony texts back, and Kate rolls her eyes before tucking her phone into her coat pocket.
She’s thinking about heading back to her flat, curling up with a book or writing some new code to impress Tony with when she finally goes back to New York. But the park is quiet, and she likes the sting of the cold wind on her cheeks.
Bucky finds her there a short time later.
"What are you doing?" he asks, sitting on the bench beside her.
“Enjoying the cold,” she says.
Bucky grunts. He’s always hated winter, hated the cold. The cold meant Steve would be sick – his asthma or some other ailment bothering him – and Bucky would be without his best friend for months. Then Bucky was on ice for so long, stuck in the cold of cryo. No, the cold isn’t for him, he thinks.
But he likes the way Kate looks, bundled up in her coat and scarf and hat. Her nose is a pretty shade of red that reminds him of the color it turns when she drinks too much wine. And he loves wine-drunk Kate almost as much as he hates the cold. That Kate laughs loudly and uses any excuse touch him – a hand on his shoulder or a brief touch of his bicep. Bucky didn’t realize how much he missed being touched until the night she slipped his titanium hand into her own.
Bucky's been preparing himself for Kate to leave Bucharest at the end of December for the holidays and never return. He always had the feeling she never intended to stay in the country long, thinking maybe she was here to escape an ex-boyfriend or irritate her older brother. He knows she has enough money to do something like that, though they never speak about it.
“I saw a flyer outside our building for a Christmas market at the end of the month,” she says after a while. “We should go. I’m in the mood for mulled wine.”
“You aren’t spending Christmas with your brother?” he asks, turning his head to look at her.
"No," she says, "Christmas isn't really...our thing." She pauses before continuing, "Our parents died in mid-December so Tony either completely ignores the holiday or goes way overboard to compensate. I prefer the former."
Kate takes Bucky’s gloved left hand in hers and presses her bare fingers against the metal of his wrist where his glove meets the sleeve of his coat. She never asks about his arm, and Bucky is grateful for that. He isn't sure how he would explain it.
“Aren’t your hands cold?” he asks, frowning. “Where are your gloves?”
“I must have forgotten them,” she shrugs.
“It’s cold, let’s go home,” he says, and a spark of heat catches in Kate’s belly at the idea that he thinks of their little apartments, where they’ve spent so much time together over the past few weeks, as home.
“Okay,” she says.
“Okay,” he smiles in return.
_____
The Christmas market isn't as busy as he thought it would be, which Bucky is grateful for. He pulls his baseball cap low over his eyes and watches Kate look over a table of wood-carved ornaments. She returns to him empty-handed, and he passes her the thermos of mulled wine they've been sharing.
There's Christmas music pumping through speakers somewhere and a band setting up in a tent. They wander the market slowly, passing the thermos back and forth until it's empty. Kate's nose is red again – from the cold and the wine – and Bucky can't stop staring at her.
They've stopped to look at a Christmas tree in the center of the market when a group of kids – shouting and laughing – come careening down the walkway. Bucky pulls Kate against his chest to keep her from getting run over. He holds her close for a few moments longer than is necessary before dropping his arm from around her back.
“Mistletoe,” Kate whispers, her head titled upward, and Bucky looks up.
He remembers this somehow, remembers his mother hanging mistletoe in the doorway to their living room each Christmas so she could catch his father in a kiss. Remembers getting caught beneath it himself with his younger sister, bending down to smack a wet kiss to her cheek as she squealed.
When he looks back at Kate, she’s holding his elbow and gazing at him like he hung the damn moon, which makes a fire curl low in his belly. Before he can second guess himself, he’s leaning toward her, capturing her lips with his own, and suddenly, it’s like fireworks are exploding behind his eyes. His gloved hands reach up to cup her face and hers tangle into the knot of his scarf, pulling him impossibly closer. When they break apart, something unspoken passes between them.
He guides her back through the market toward their building, inside and up the endless series of stairs. Outside her door, he kisses her again, sweeping his tongue into her mouth. She tastes like the mulled wine they shared, and Bucky thinks he could get drunk on this alone. She pushes him away, laughing, to unlock the door, then pulls him inside with her.
When the door is closed, he turns her and presses her back against it. She reaches up to push his hat off, then pulls off her own and tosses it aside. Next, she's pulling off her gloves and then reaching for his.
"I want to feel you," she breathes, tugging at the leather around his hands, “all of you.”
When his gloves are off, his hands find her face, cupping her cheeks gently. “I haven’t done this in so long,” he rasps.
“We can slow down.”
“No,” he growls, pushing his hips against hers. He’s hard against her lower stomach, and she moans.
Kissing her, holding her like this – Bucky hasn't felt this much like himself since the war. And he can't get enough of it. He tugs at her scarf, unwrapping her like a present, while she unknots his, and they both shrug out of their coats. His bare hands slide beneath her sweater, up over her stomach to her breasts. Kate sighs at the contrast between flesh and metal on her skin. He leans back and tugs her sweater over her head, and she unhooks her bra, letting it slip down and off.
Bucky lifts her into his arms, and Kate wraps her legs around his waist. His mouth is hot against hers as he walks her to her bed. When he lays her down, he lets his lips trail down her neck, across her collarbone, and to her chest.
He pulls back slightly, beaming down at her, “God, you’re beautiful, doll.”
She reaches for the hem of his red Henley, but he stops her, covering her hand with his.
“My arm,” he says, nodding toward his left shoulder, “it’s not pretty.”
Kate doesn’t say anything, just pushes gently on Bucky’s shoulders until he’s lying flat on his back with her straddling his hips. She kisses him hard, stroking her tongue inside his mouth. With one kiss, she tries to convey how much she doesn’t care about what his arm looks like so long as he keeps touching her, keeps smiling at her, keeps letting her be part of his life.
Bucky reaches for the hem of his shirt.
“You don’t have to,” Kate says breathlessly, pulling back to look him in the eyes.
“I want to,” he says, licking his lips. “You said you wanted to feel all of me."
She smiles and lets him sit up. Bucky tugs the shirt over his head and tosses it off the bed. Kate's eyes linger briefly on the angry scars where flesh meets metal, then she bends and presses her lips there. Bucky growls and grabs her by the hips, flipping her so that's he hovering over her again.
His mouth finds her breasts, working a nipple with his tongue until she’s panting. He kisses his way down her stomach to the waistband of her jeans; he pops the button and pulls the zipper down.
"Can I taste you?" Bucky asks.
“Please,” she mewls and helps him push her jeans and underwear off.
His mouth is hot against her. He takes his time, running his tongue across her folds before pressing against the spot that makes her keen and slipping his fingers inside of her. His metal arm holds her hips in place when she comes, keeping her from moving away from him. Bucky could stay in this moment forever, he thinks, here, with his head between Kate's legs, listening to the soft sounds of her bliss, her heartbeat slowing as she comes back down.
But Kate has other ideas. She tugs at Bucky's long hair, pulling him back up to her mouth, tasting herself on his lips. Her hands work his jeans open, and she pushes them off his hips, letting her fingers glide across his buttocks slowly. Bucky groans.
"Are you sure?" he asks, pushing her hair out of her face.
"Yes," she says, and she leans up to kiss him deeply as she reaches down to stroke him.
"Do you..." he pauses, panting, "fuck, do you have a condom?"
"I have an implant. And I'm clean," she says, her eyes meeting his.
Bucky nods and tries to tell himself to remember to ask her what exactly an implant is later, but for now, he's too enraptured with the feeling of her hand around him to argue.
When he pushes inside of her, Kate gasps and moans and Bucky thinks he might actually die. It's been so long since he's felt pleasure like this, and he's lost in the wet, tight heat that is Kate. His head falls to her shoulder and he stills, allowing himself a moment to just enjoy this intimacy.
Kate runs her hands up and down his back. "Please move," she finally whispers in his ear, and Bucky lets out a strangled laugh.
He's a goner, he thinks, as he moves against her. Despite his past, despite his uncertain future, he loves her, and there is no turning back. He props himself up on his left arm and looks down at her.
"You're perfect," he says, and it's Kate's turn to laugh. Her laugh fades into a gasp as Bucky reaches between them and presses his fingers against her in a rhythm he's already memorized.
When she comes around him, clutching him tighter than he thought possible, he sees stars. He follows quickly behind, collapsing on top of her, and as he lays there, panting, and careful to hold his weight off her, Bucky has the sudden urge to laugh at how blissful he feels. When he eventually lifts his head from her shoulder and meets her eyes, Kate is smiling.
"Hi," she whispers, softly.
"Hi," Bucky returns, smiling along with her.
He rolls onto his back, tucks Kate against his side – his flesh arm solid against her back and waist – and falls into a dreamless sleep.
_____
next chapter
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carolinesiede · 4 years
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My 2019 Writing Roundup
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Not to get too New Age-y, but 2019 felt like a very ~transformative~ year for me. I turned 30, got a literary agent, and became a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association. After feeling like I’d hit a plateau in my late 20s, it was nice to experience a sense of forward momentum again, even if the lack of financial stability in this career is a constant background stress. Still, on the whole my sixth year as a full-time freelancer felt like a time where I kinda, sorta figured out what I’m doing. Instead of struggling in murky waters, I’m at least actively swimming in them.
I continued to write for The A.V. Club, The Spool, and Consequence of Sound, plus took on new outlets in The Verge and Polygon. I also had an article about romantic comedies published in Southwest Airline’s in-flight magazine and was asked to talk about Hallmark Channel Christmas rom-coms on Canadian radio. Speaking of rom-coms, 2019 was the second year (and first full-year) for When Romance Met Comedy, and I feel like the column really came into its own this year. It’s by far the biggest undertaking of my career (I’ve covered 47 films in total so far!), and I’m really excited to continue shaping its voice in 2020.
Beyond finding a regular fitness routine and seeing Cats onstage for the first time, the biggest personal project I undertook in 2019 was immersing myself in the world of film and film criticism—something I started in mid-2018 and really amped up this year. My goal was to watch 300 new-to-me movies this year, and I wound up watching 355! (Including 129 new releases.) Regular access to CFCA screenings and screeners allowed me to be a bigger part of the film critic conversation than I’ve been in the past, which was exciting. I also tackled a bunch of blindspots from the past decade and put together a list of my 50 favorite films of the 2010s, which you can see right here:
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Over on the TV side of things, I bid farewell to the Netflix Defenders universe with binge-review coverage of the final seasons of The Punisher and Jessica Jones. Those Marvel binge-reviews were a big part of my early career, so seeing that universe come to a close was bittersweet. It’s always nerve-wracking when a semi-regular assignment ends, but I’m hopeful that new projects will pop up to take its place.
Putting together this year-end retrospective also made me realize I was on a lot of podcasts in 2019, including jumping in as a regular guest on the Cinematic Universe podcast in the latter half of the year. Podcasting is something I really enjoy (I find talking so much easier than writing!), and I’d love to do more of it in the future.
With that, I’ll leave you with wishes for a Happy New Year and a roundup of all the major writing I did in 2019. If you enjoyed my work this year, it would mean a lot if you would support me on either Kofi or PayPal. Or just share some of your favorite pieces with your friends!
My 15 favorite TV shows of 2019
My 15 favorite films of 2019
Op-eds and Features
“Rom-Com Revival” for Southwest The Magazine
Avengers: Endgame doesn’t earn its big “girl power” moment
An MCU breakup could be a terrific step forward for Spider-Man
“What is a weekend?”: A catch-up guide to Downton Abbey’s cast and characters
Nope, seeing Cats the musical will not help you understand Cats the movie
Let’s talk about the ending of Greta Gerwig’s Little Women
TV Coverage
Doctor Who’s 2019 New Year’s Special
The Punisher S2
Jessica Jones S3
The Crown S3
This Is Us S3 and S4
Supergirl S4 and S5
Rent: Live
Jane The Virgin fill-in
The Tony Awards
The Little Mermaid Live! 
When Romance Met Comedy
27 Dresses doesn’t deserve your hate and neither does Katherine Heigl
Bride & Prejudice weaves an impressive cultural critique into a Bollywood-inspired Jane Austen update
How does the original What Women Want hold up two decades later?
In 1990, Pretty Woman changed romantic comedies forever
For one brief, wonderful moment, Eddie Murphy reinvented himself as a romantic-comedy star
20 years later, 10 Things I Hate About You remains a model for how to do the teen rom-com right
Lloyd Dobler is Cameron Crowe’s original manic pixie dream date
We're just not that into He’s Just Not That Into You
Romance is the weakest aspect of one of the most celebrated rom-coms of the ’90s
To All The Boys and Netflix reminded the world why it’s smitten with rom-coms
Imagine Me & You gives a lesbian love story the classic rom-com treatment
Queer resilience thrives in this rom-com about love in the time of the AIDS crisis
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes is bubbly and smart, just like Marilyn Monroe
The Best Man capped off one decade of black rom-coms and inspired another
Nicolas Cage romanced Cher in one of the weirdest rom-coms ever made
After a decade of discourse, (500) Days Of Summer is basically the Fight Club of rom-coms
It’s No Strings Attached versus Friends With Benefits in a rom-com showdown
Adam Sandler’s sweetness makes The Wedding Singer a rom-com worth growing old with
The Philadelphia Story delivered one of the most star-studded love triangles ever
13 Going On 30 made Jennifer Garner a rom-com star—and gave tween girls a sleepover staple
Celebrate Halloween with Warm Bodies, the film that tried to make zom-rom-coms a thing
In the 2010s, rom-coms went indie and saved themselves in the process
Sandra Bullock became a rom-com star with a cozy love story about crushing loneliness
With just two storylines, The Holiday paid tribute to the entire rom-com genre
The A.V. Club
The maudlin Five Feet Apart anoints a new pair of winning young stars
After thinks it’s beautiful, that’s what makes it tiresome
Teen Spirit has plenty of it
Ramy is a Muslim millennial comedy with impressively big questions on its mind
Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson’s new comedy The Hustle pulls an inelegant con
The Sun Is Also A Star turns a compelling premise into a lackluster teen romance
The Art Of Racing In The Rain is a doggone mess
You don’t need to love Springsteen to like the thoughtful crowd-pleaser Blinded By The Light
The well-meaning Brittany Runs A Marathon can’t quite go the distance
Renée Zellweger zings in a Judy Garland biopic that clangs
The Downton Abbey movie is as pleasant as a cozy cup of tea
Tall Girl’s familiar teen love story fails to reach new heights
The new Lady And The Tramp feels like a ’90s update of a ’50s classic
The Verge/Polygon
Tigers Are Not Afraid puts a Pan’s Labyrinth spin on a poignant Mexican drug war story
The gloriously surreal space epic Ad Astra is half a great movie
An AI affair fuels a midlife crisis in the eerie science fiction drama Auggie
The painfully generic new animated Addams Family deserves no snaps
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil is boldly bonkers
Netflix’s apocalyptic teen comedy Daybreak is an exhausting sugar rush
The Current War is basically Amadeus for electricity
Is Playmobil: The Movie just a reskinned Lego Movie?
The Spool
The LEGO Movie 2: Everything is About Half as Awesome
Isn’t It Romantic: An Instant Postmodern Rom-Com Classic
The Aftermath: Sumptuous but Surface-Level Melodrama
Late Night: A Sparkling Comedy With a Lot On Its Mind
Plus One: An Indie Millennial When Harry Met Sally
The Farewell is A Poignantly Funny Goodbye
Where’d You Go, Bernadette: A whimsical mid-life crisis
After the Wedding: A grown-up drama that doesn’t trust its own story
Falling Inn Love: Love, New Zealand Style
Paradise Hills: Harajuku Gossip Girls
Consequence of Sound
Brexit Takes An Engaging But Ultimately Shallow Look At the 2016 Vote
What Men Want Flips the Script and Finds Mixed Results
Dumbo Delights Without Ever Fully Taking Flight
Someone Great Continues Netflix’s Romantic Comedy Revival
Aladdin Has the Animated Classic’s Songs, But Less of Its Personality
MindMeet Interviews
Nadine Hack and Global Citizens Circle: Creating Connectedness
Podcast Appearances
Filmography: When Harry Met Sally
Filmography: Tim Burton’s mature films (Ed Wood, Sweeney Todd, Big Fish, Big Eyes)
Debating Doctor Who MCU Edition: Avengers: Endgame
Cinematic Universe: Alita: Battle Angel
Hall of Faces: Friends
Cinematic Universe: Joker
Hall of Faces: The West Wing
CBC Radio: Hallmark Christmas movies
Cinematic Universe: The Wolverine
Cinematic Universe: Awards Special—The Cuppies 2019 (Part One)
And here are similar year-end wrap-ups I did in 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, and 2013.
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eerythingisshaka · 5 years
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I made this post on Monday, and just now got around to edit and post
I’m basically going through the whole plot of Endgame and how I felt, I just had to hammer it out.   If you haven’t seen it yet, please come back when you have! First things first, I did not cry!  I feel like I’m in the minority, and I swear I am a devoted MCU fan and love Tony and Cap and them, but I did not cry and I’m so disappointed with myself!  I got more emotional thinking about it in the days leading to the premiere than I did while viewing.  I think it was too entertaining for me to find it sad?  Not like movies I cry at aren’t entertaining but the action and substance was making my nerd heart pitter patter so much, I was over the moon and couldn’t come down.  I will say though, ever since watching Endgame, every past Marvel movie makes me somewhat emotional.  This whole thing is like a high school graduation, like I’m never gonna see my friends together again like this, an era is over!  All I have are memories, aaaaggghhhh!
That being said. the movie grips me from the beginning with the song Dear Mr. Fantasy by Traffic.  Marvel has some pretty good picks for songs to set the tone for their movies, to this day this song kinda pulls at my heart strings because of its message 
 Dear Mr. Fantasy play us a tune
Something to make us all happy
Do anything, take us out of this gloom
So of course, we all felt this way with the ending of Infinity War, having so many of our faves being sacrificed to dust for Thanos’ plan of rectifying what he saw as the decrepit state of the universe.  Walking away from part one with the villain winning was a fresh slap to my face and a year of agony to find out how the heroes pull this off in the end.  Take us out of our gloom Marvel! 
And the characters must feel the same, as the film opens with Clint and his daughter doing some archery in their yard as a very American lunch of mayo and mustard hot dogs are being served.  As his daughter Lilah is putting things away, Clint calls out to her only to see dust and turns again to his family with the same result.  So much for freedom from our gloom, right?  In case you somehow forgot, this little scene gives us a friendly reminder of what we were left with in 2018.  If that’s not enough, Nebula and Tony playing the little hand goal, paper flick game that is just darling to witness.  Nebula plays like a rehabilitated puppy still unsure about being around humans as Tony instructs her like a child on every development of the game.  Her little perk up when he announces her win is so cute as they shake hands, finally sealing her character development from ruthless, blood-thirsty appeaser of a sadistic father, to a more stoic, regretful soft spoken but hoarse matured version of herself.  All the while, Tony is beginning to starve from being malnourished and depleting oxygen.  Nebula sets him in a piloting chair as he drifts off, losing consciousness until the homie we have all assumed would be coming appears as a glow in his irises, Carol Danvers aka Captain Marvel.  
Carol flies the ship back to Tony’s compound where Cap, Rhodey, Natasha, and Pepper wait for him to descend.  We get a moment with him and Cap that is sweet as Cap walks him down, Tony tells him he lost Peter Parker, an obviously huge loss for this to be the first thing he mentions.  The warmth is lost quickly though as the next step of Tony’s grief comes afoot: anger and finger pointing.  Tony, on an IV and all, is relentless as he festers in bitterness while lashing out at Cap and company that the fight was lost and even encouraged by Cap because they were together.  This optimism is obviously not enough for Tony, who grows weary of Cap’s positivity, opting that he finish the work alone or that Danvers takes on the task herself before collapsing from exhaustion.
Carol, Thor and the gang have a slight dick measuring contest on kicking Thanos’ ass once and for all before Nebula offers to take them straight to him.  And where is he?  Why on a farm on a planet in the galaxy, nursing his wounds from the snap.   His entire right side is burned to a crisp due to the snap, and at the same time has obliterated the stones much to their dismay.  Thor wastes no time in chopping off Thanos’ head, a little too late but satisfying none the less.  However, in the end, the stones are nowhere to be found, the last person to have them is dead, and no one from the snaps is back yet.  Cue music!
So, the gloom we are supposed to be rescued from, when does that start right?  Not for another five years according to a time lapse card.  Our heroes have no means of figuring out the solution to the snap; Cap forms a support group for survivor’s, Natasha has grown out her blonde hair and is constantly checking in on happenings around the world, and universe since the snap, jumping at even the mention of an earthquake.  Rhodey briefs her on a terrible killing spree of gang members that appear to have a style that is well known to them as Clint Barton’s aka Hawkeye.  Despite Rhodey’s hesitance Natasha insists he keeps an eye on him, inferring that she may track him down eventually.  (Quick side note here, something to be seen as a possible plot flaw:  Hawkeye’s bloodlust and disregard for lives after losing his whole family in the snap isn’t dug into very deeply after this.  Rhodey said it’s so bad he didn’t even wanna find him!  But there wasn’t any in fighting or push back after that between them.  He has one instance of almost interacting with his family on a test run for time travel which is against the rules, but other than that he isn’t killing people recklessly or even triggered to tears or drinking incessantly over his loss.  But more on Thor in a minute). 
If it hadn’t been for that rat running across the panel in Scott Lang’s van to activate his return from the Quantum realm who knows how long, if ever, would they figure out the means of traveling back to get the stones.  I was so glad I watched Antman and Wasp right before seeing Endgame, so I knew the van, Cassie, and a little bit about the Quantum Realm.  I’m actually upset that I didn’t realize the realm could be used for their benefit because I was always betting on the Time Stone being the corrector in all this, but anyway.  Scott returns highly confused as he realizes the state of the world since his entrapment in the realm.  Seeing his baby girl become a young lady was a powerful scene to witness, and had my heart dent a little bit, but I held it together.  Soon after that, Scott makes his way to find Cap and Natasha, explaining how 5 years was really five hours for him, so time is different in the realm which could possibly mean something for them getting the dusted back.  At one point in the movie, I’m blanking on which comes first but for now I’ll dive into this bit, we are reintroduced to Bruce Banner as Hulk…as one person.  I completely forgot that we didn’t see Bruce in trailers, which is for this reason.  Comic book followers would know, but there is a iteration of Bruce Banner becoming Professor Hulk, so he functions as his normal scientist self, while also being a big green being.  Oddly enough, it does not take long for me to grow accustomed to The Bruce Hulk hybrid, he is hilarious and sweet and more confident even then he was as a regular man despite his appearance.  He has fans, people love him and this is a far cry from when we are introduced to him in the original Avengers as Nat tracks him down somewhere in Southeast Asia, a nervous wreck loner who is quick to anger.  I could see this Hulk being fanfic fodder, not my cup of tea, but he was just that damn appealing, I could see it.
But even with Bruce’s brain, time travel isn’t exactly hammered down as an absolute possibility so they reach out to another source on the matter.  Which brings me to my love/hate relationship with Tony.  I ADORE that he finally had a baby with Pepper, Morgan “Cussin Queen” Stark.  Tony is living his best life in the natural air in his log cabin, as off grid as he possibly can be before Black Widow, Cap, and Lang pull up to question the possibilities ahead of them.  The strength of his cold shoulder gave me an insatiable chill down my spine.  Tony is the King of Petty, but rarely passive so I was surprised by that moment of mean girl attitude from him.  But luckily he served up something to drink (I’m thinking it’s iced coffee or chocolate milk.  I’m still confused by what that held.)  Tony basically tells them they are crazy and hoping for nothing, because he’s good where he is.  He has his girls and no stress which is honestly what the Avengers always seem to guarantee for him since joining the group with SHIELD under Nick Fury’s insistence years ago.  I do wish I could remember the theories and scientific laws he said would be fucked up with their plan, just to see if they are real ones but also I love when Tony just spouts his knowledge like it’s IKEA instructions.  He makes it seem so simple until you have to break it down, and up until this point Scott seemed like the smartest one on the team but really Tony could’ve been figured this out if he wasn’t so granola now, which is great and happy for him, but he really did give up very quickly.  Once again, probably good reason, self-care.  But still.
Gotta say, I love a selfish Tony though.  Quick shoutout to Robert Downey Jr. in showing his chops by bringing the emotional fortitude to this Disney movie.  The man has been THROUGH IT and has had enough.  Tony only has so much optimism in him that the cheerleading squad can provide before his is completely done and baby was DONE.
But without Tony’s help they test run moving through the quantum realm only to discover what Tony says later, that time kept moving though Scott instead of him moving through time, making him a baby, and old man, a kid again, and back to an adult.  But with a fancy time GPS Tony doctor’s up on the fly after discovering that the group isn’t crazy about the time travel being an option, they are good to go like it’s day one!  (Another side note to Paul Rudd aka Scott Lang giving us much needed comic relief.  I have never laughed so hard at my precious baby trying to eat a taco in my life. Also, Cap’s yeehaw attire in this scene?  The checkered white shirt with his dark jeans pulled up?  Truly save the horse and ride the cowboy instead man.)  
Now at this point we have to check in on Thor, our sweet pirate angel.  How has he fared?  Him, Valkyrie, and the surviving Asgardians establish their own town  on Earth.  Thor and Rocket go to find him, with a preview from Valkyrie of what Thor’s mental state is by the piles of beer kegs outside.  So, when they enter his home, giving a wave to Korg and Miek playing video games on the couch, Thor tumbles out behind Thor and Rocket reaching for another cold on, camera to his back.  By now we can see his hair is overgrown and greasy, and his midsection has a new pair of love handles we aren’t used to seeing on our svelte, brutish god of thunder.  So when he turns around, audience erupts in the theaters, as do I, to see him now looking like a melted ice cream cone with a beer belly that somehow still has some toned abs on top if you look closely, paired with some man titties to complete all billowing over his pajama pants to complete his depression ensemble.  This was more shocking to me than the Hulk/Banner hybrid reveal.  We hadn’t seen an image of Thor outside of him giving Carol Danvers the Stormbreaker scare test in the previews, so thanks for another surprise.  Despite his crumbling emotional stability at even the mention of Thanos’ name (tip of the hat to Chris Hemsworth for making my heartache with every crack in his voice), I have to get on my soapbox and say Thor’s body is beautiful!  He is a supreme King, deliciously made who can still smash any pair of cheeks to ash and dust with the power Mjolnir in each thrust quicker than any counterfeit gauntlet.  Just watch him later on, you’ll see!  I’d have that belly slapping on top of me in a quantum realm millisecond after he takes a shower and attends therapy.  A lil pudge ain’t killed no part of his power, whew.  Don’t make me shout.
Back to plot, with the promise of beer, Thor the Dude tags along to start the plan of going back to retrieve infinity stones.  After a synopsis of each one and where they were located, the crew drums up the plan to retrieve each stone from the past, bring them back to the future to put into a new gauntlet  and snap the other half of life’s creatures back.  This part of the movie is so stellar because if you have watched past Marvel movies (the first Avengers, Gaurdians of the Galaxy, Captain America First Avenger, and Thor Dark World) you will recognize the scenes that are featured with their past selves going through their past-current scenes.  Natasha and Clint go to Vormir for the Soul stone, which I am surprised Nebula did not warn them that someone would have to die to retrieve it.  What if two characters that didn’t love each other went for the Soul stone, is it over and done?  But luckily, or unluckily, Clint and Natasha are able to get the stone with a sacrifice of Natasha’s life (who honestly sacrificed herself but it counted.  And I need so much more clarity on the specs of the soul stone, it ain’t even funny.  Will we ever see what the realm Gamora and Black Widow are in is like?)  These two characters have been last on my list always so the scene was crazy watching them battle back and forth for a chance at ending their lives but the end result didn’t hit my heart but still great.  I kinda would’ve wished little Gamora was there again to talk to us.  
Then Hulk has to go see Ancient One to retrieve the time stone, which she will not relinquish until Hulk says that Strange gave it up willingly.  On his word alone, she gives it to him, sensing the imminent danger that could come that is worse than the alternate reality she faces for not having the time stone with her.  Then Rhodey and Nebula go to Morag for the Power Stone.  So this is the first sign of overall trouble in their plan because apparently having two Nebula’s mix memory frequencies that reveal the whole entire plan to Thanos.  I thought for sure at some point that Nebula’s eye was gonna have to be dug out to ensure the completion of the mission but it winds up that Nebula and Gamora take her hostage before past Nebula takes current Nebula’s place with the crew going back with their stones, none the wiser.  Not even Rhodey gives her a check in like “why did you not come back with me when I jetted back to the future?  what happened?”  Nothing!  The death of Natasha kind of takes precedent over anything else and leave Nebula to finish off bringing Thanos back with her to wreak havoc.  
Lastly, Cap, Tony, and Scott are in New York circa Avengers number 1, fighting the space aliens and keeping Loki from the tesseract.  And I am not exaggerating when I say this part of movie is possibly the greatest cinematic feature I have ever seen, or will ever see my natural life.  You have Tony, creeping in the shadows to get Antman ready to help retrieve the tesseract, all the while admiring Cap’s ass!  He does it, critiquing that his outfit does nothing for his ass, when we all know nothing holds back them cheeks from making an appearance.  Scott, ever the voice of standom, downplays Tony’s critique and coins his rear end as “America’s Ass”.  I EXPLODED.  Ever since Captain America: the First Avenger, I have pined, no, thirsted, nay, LUSTED for that man in Marvel cinema.  He has the BAWDY to be Cap, and never slacks.  I have also always been a big fan of Tony and Cap having a torrid love affair that Marvel refused to implement but teases anytime they stare deeply into each other’s eyes or argue feistily until they are nose to nose, just get a room you two!  Ten points to Gryffindor for feeding the fans what they want!
So, New York is the only place that doesn’t go smoothly, as Cap retrieves the scepter containing the Mind Stone after a quick “Hail Hydra” to throw off the double agent SHIELD opponents from Winter Soldier.  All this time, Tony and Scott lose the tesseract in a freak incident that causes the case to fall into Loki’s vicinity, who picks up the cube and disappears to God knows where.  And it is never figured out where past Loki goes, or what timeline he creates for himself now that he has the tesseract at his disposal with no one to oppose him.  That is another thing I would love to know, all these alternate realities that have been constructed due to them tinkering with time, what happens?  What damage is done to the Ancient One without time?  What does Loki do with space?  How is Jane and Asgard without the reality stone ravaging her?  (Rocket got it btw as Thor got caught up talking to his mother, which was a very sweet scene and really amplified her character for me to love her more than I already had).  But at least Cap got the scepter until he is met with his past Cap, leading to my most favorite fight scene in the MCU.  Something about those two classic suits running at each other with the cacophony of the shields, and current Cap saying some choice expletives now and getting tired of the bullshit while past Cap still has all that giddy up and pure heart and “I can do this all day” attitude is an exceptional treat to be had.  I love Cap’s development, as much as he has stayed the same, he has changed, grown more into his age even, getting weary with the world but never losing his positive outlook, just shifting his focus gradually.  But to correct the tesseract blunder, Tony and Cap go back to 1970 to get the original tesseract from SHIELD in its infancy.  Both Tony and Cap have a soft moment.  Tony see’s his father who talks to him about his expecting wife (aka baby Tony) and Cap sees Peggy again in her youthful glory, panging our heartstrings.  But in the end, the supplies are collected and they move on.
So after they get the stones, they construct the gauntlet out of Tony’s suit Iron man material and it is decided that Hulk must do the snap since gamma radiation is part of the stones and so is he. It is not a simple easy thing as he writhes in pain and burns under the pressure of power but does the snap anyway and successfully brings back half the world.  This win is shortlived once Thanos bombards the compound and sends Nebula off to retrieve the stones.  This is the start of the longest game of flag football/hot potato/rugby adjacent.  Hawkeye has the gauntlet at first as everyone tries to pull themselves from the rubble (side note:  seeing Rocket so distressed shook me.  He is usually so cool and wily, getting out of so much bullshit that his helplessness when he couldn’t breathe almost sent me over).
So since they retrieved the stones, it’s not like they change their past, just create alternate realities.  Once they return them, things go back to normal again.  So Hulk uses the gauntlet to bring back the rest of the population again, we just don’t see them yet until later.  Past Nebula gets killed by current Nebula after Gamora helps current Nebula out to stop Thanos because as we know from Infinity War, Gamora never wanted Thanos to find them all.  Thor, Cap, and Tony all team up to spar with Thanos who was waiting patiently for the gauntlet to be brought to him.  Much to my dismay, the fight is very even, no side truly overpowers the other.  Thor really wants to put in work, but can’t quite get through until Cap does what I have been waiting for since Ultron: HE PICKS UP MJOLNIR!  (which Thor took back from Asgard in his time travel).  Wheew, I coulda passed out when I saw Cap wielding that thing like it’s his the star spangled banner itself, sending lightning down on Thanos, busting him upside his head and all!  I was spent and feeling aftershocks until Thanos gets the upperhand again and bombards his shield with that weak ass helicopter blade sword thing.  It breaks the shield up!  Which is made of vibranium!  THE STRONGEST METAL IN THE UNIVERSE!  This how I know Russo’s were just grasping at straws; the only thing I can say is since Tony made him that one after the snap, he probably used bootleg vibranium because obviously nobody called Wakanda for input on a damn thing to make this mission happen which is a rant I can say on a completely separate post.  Sure, take T’Challa and Shuri in the snap, it’s not like the whole country isn’t composed of melanated geniuses that could give y’all a lesson on quantum physics that would make your central nervous system dry out.  No, don’t call Wakanda to make vibranium anything for y’all to help in the fight, it’s cool cuz y’all didn’t try and clean up anything after shit hit the fan!  I wanted a 10 minute Wakanda clean up scene: I got DUST.  The underutilization of such a great people while at the same time using them frivilously is a *blink blink* mindfuck.  But I digress again!
Once Cap seems to be against the wall, he tightens his shield band around his arm and says slap me bitch.  But before it continues,  Sam gives him a quick “on your left” signaling the return of everyone, with first none other than our Wakandan royalty: T’Challa, Okoye, and Shuri.  Dr. Strange’s portals open up as populations come to join the fight from Gaurdians and Asgard, Wakanda and other Marvel movies.  The fight scene that begins I can’t wait to own at home becuase I know I have to pause and slow motion to capture everything.  Someone said Howard the Duck is in the fight which I HAVE to see. Can you imagine getting your ass impaled by a cartoon space duck? 
The game of keep the gauntlet from Thanos continues as Spiderman, T’Challa, and others all have a go at running the guantlet away from Thanos.  This is a part that I kind of have to think to remember.  I know that Antman and Wasp had to spark up the quantum realm van and I think the plan was to send the gauntlet into it, but I’m not sure.  Eventually Tony is alerted by Strange that the one in 14 million chance at winning is upon them and Tony goes ham to get the gauntlet from Thanos, who nearly succeeds but Tony yeets them off the glove and onto his suit, proclaiming himself as Iron Man one last time before snapping the bad half of the population into obliteration.  All the bad aliens and Thanos dust away, leaving the original population the watch them float away.  However Tony’s sacrifice is his life as he dies after goodbyes from Peter, Pepper and Rhodey.  
The funeral occurs with everyone there, even the kid from Iron Man 3.  This is a really emotional scene, especially seeing Tony left a last message in case of his demise, ending it with telling Morgan “I Said What I Said” Stark that he loves her 3000.  Once again, I almost got choked up there, but it just wouldn’t happen. One thing that took me out were Wakanda’s outfits at the funeral.  All black everything, but the fit and the make of Okoye and Shuri’s dresses?  With the gold accessories????  I can’t mourn when all that beauty is in my face!
And in the end, Cap goes back in time to send the stones back to where they belong but stays in the past to reunite with Peggy, finally bust her open and returns as an old man to give his shield to Falcon and that is it!
I almost got choked up just now thinking about that last scene but I still didn’t cry.  A tear came down when the end credits showed the actors pictures and their signatures of the original Avengers though.  There will never be a better Cap or Iron Man bruh, taking that to my grave.
 I’ve been in this MCU life for just about the whole length of it; watching these amazing superhero action flicks for the fun of it before recognizing the structure of each film forming towards an ending so grand. “You see where you’re going? Now let’s focus on how you get there.” This is a statement that is about to be my mantra for life! This is a huge project for a studio to put together properly, having all of our superheroes in one place, sewn together with the journey of the infinity stones to take out the big purple meanie Thanos who is hellbent on controlling the universe the easy way (50% of all living creatures annihilated) or the hard way (100% gone, starting from scratch).
But Marvel has given me so much great entertainment to look forward to.  Ever since I graduated high school, it’s been the May or November of each year, what’s Marvel putting out next? And it’s gonna be tough not expecting an Avengers film anymore, but I’ll be here for the new build up of superheroes, supporting Black Panther still of course as well.  I will miss the Cap thirst, wardrobe really did their part in this one with the Black sweater, the grey Henley, the yeehaw outfit previously mentioned and EVERY CAP UNIFORM HE HAS WORN!  I love this fucking fandom.  
And now I just wonder where past Gamora went, because she came to the present and “present” Gamora died at Vormir so we have a Gamora alive now but she went MIA, or did she get snapped back when Tony snapped all the henchmen back?  Thor at the end joins the GOTG  or Asgardians of the Galaxy, so I can’t wait to see how they fair in I assume GOTG 3.  How will Falcon do as the new Cap?  What does Bucky do now??  He was the original ride or die for Cap until he became Winter Soldier, but Cap was very forgiving of him in all that.  Yet, his closure seems open for anything, he got no special stuff in the end so maybe more for him?  How is Spiderman and the whole teenage snap population going back to school when it is five years in the future but they are the same age?  Where did Valkyrie keep her Pegasus this entire time?  When Cap went back to Vormir, what was his reunion with Red Skull like?  And what did Thanos do with the stones before they were destroyed?  They said he used them again and that’s how they found him at the beginning but on what? Answer these questions for me please!  
If you made it this far, I love ya 3000 and I owe you cheeseburgers (oh God TONY!!!)
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SPOTLIGHT!
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The Bridal Chase
By Robert Downs
Publisher: Black Opal Books Publication Date: May 12, 2018 Genre: Mystery, Suspense
Synopsis:
Elisha Crimson thought her wedding day would be the happiest of her life. But losing her fiancé to two thugs in a dark sedan wasn’t part of the plan. She, along with the rest of the wedding party, can do nothing to stop the abrupt abduction, so she pursues at the first opportunity, navigating the West Virginia interstate in a white wedding dress behind the wheel of a pickup truck. But will she catch the sedan in time to save her one true love? Ronnie Washington had known his past would catch up with him, eventually, but he hadn’t expected it to happen on his wedding day. He hates enclosed spaces, and now he’s bouncing around in the trunk of a car after being abducted from the ceremony. His only hope is to talk his way out, but the thugs don’t seem inclined to listen. He knows Elisha will come after him, but, even if she catches them, what can she possibly do against men like these? Can these two unlikely heroes save the day, and the wedding, or is their life together over before it even starts?
Goodreads
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Excerpt:
Saturday, 2:45 p.m.:
Her long, white dress billowed around her. Mascara raced down her face, her eyes frazzled, and a tear formed as she took off at a dead run. Her brother tossed her his set of keys. She caught them in midair and didn’t even break stride. She peeled out of the parking lot, as a spray of gravel pinged a Mercedes, two BMWs, and a Lexus. Through the open window, the wind whipped her hair. Her green eyes were fixed at a distant point on the horizon. Her gaze was just a bit above the dashboard, as she slammed the pickup truck into second gear. A string of curse words emitted from her lips and smacked the wheel. The cup holder beside her held a plastic cup filled with spit, and she picked it up now. Tobacco juice flowed from her lips, and into its predetermined location.
Elisha Crimson flipped the air conditioner on high, even though it was only sixty degrees outside. She honked her horn, gestured with her free hand, and merged into the passing lane. A silver car swerved in front of her, and she screamed and pounded the steering wheel in agony. This time, she neglected to salute the idiot behind the wheel with a cell phone pressed to his ear.
Her eyes flipped to her rearview mirror, and the sea of cars behind her in an intricate rainbow of colors. The trail of cars resembled a python, and the road in front of her was a never-ending façade of red taillights. An accident loomed up ahead, so she slowed down. Two cars—neither one moving—in the right-hand lane were both torn to shreds in twisted metal and crumpled bumpers. Her mind raced, and adrenaline shook her right hand.
She grabbed the cup beside her and spit another glob of juice.
She’d nailed second gear within five hundred feet of the parking lot, and third came soon after. Fourth proved a bit more of a challenge, but now that was behind her as well. Her lips moved at a constant, steady pace, and the cup beside her filled quickly as well. The pouch stuffed between the passenger seat and her own was a third gone.
She hadn’t smiled since this morning with her hairdresser and sister in the same room, as her mother waited in the room next to hers. Elisha flipped the radio low and her voice high. A rapper spoke about life in the ghetto.
She held onto the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white, and her joints ached. A song came on the radio that reminded her of him, and she turned up the volume loud enough to rattle the frame. With the windows rolled down, the sound traveled toward the trees on either side of the highway. A motorcycle engine roared behind her, and she pushed the pedal all the way to the floor. She smacked her lips and tapped her forehead. She kept thoughts of her fiancé,
her wedding, and the family she left behind to herself and slammed down the lid. She discovered a ball cap within arm’s reach and thumped it on her head.
She floored it around an old Porsche and a Mercedes with custom wheels. She held one thought and then another—What would her family think? How could this be happening to her? Was her fiancé okay?— collecting them like stamps and compartmentalizing each one in her mind until such a time when she could gather them whole and shove forward with her life.
She’d known Ronnie’s past would catch up with them one day, but now was not the time for second guesses.
She kept one eye on the horizon and her goal in mind. Her whole world changed when a car pulled out in front of her. She veered to the left, the pickup nearly coming up on two wheels, the center of gravity shifting with brute force. And then she shoved the pickup hard to the right, as the center of gravity changed once again, and the whole cab moved and shook around her. The wind whipped through with blazing speed, and her knuckles locked against the wheel. She pinged to the right and careened to the left like a ping pong ball through a maze.
Steam rose up around her, and she hoped it wasn’t her own. She bit her lip and drew blood, and even managed to swallow a little of the chewing tobacco. Coughing and gagging and sick to her stomach, she had no idea how to continue onward. Only that she had to. If she failed, she couldn’t deal with the consequences.
She had insisted on a big wedding filled with a dessert buffet, two guitars, one ice sculpture, three photographers, and one deejay. Had she scaled back, she might have found herself in a different predicament than the one she currently found herself in the middle of. The voice on the radio called her a liar.
She discovered love at eighteen when it bit her on the ass and decided to hang around. The fucker, Ronnie Washington, had smiled at her, and her knees buckled in the heat and humidity. Unable to string a coherent sentence together for five minutes, she waited for him to walk away. But he didn’t. Ten minutes later, he asked her out, and she said yes before she gathered what remained of her senses. Six years later—the best six years of her life—he still asked her out, the romantic bastard. Sure, the ups and downs sucked, and he charmed her with all five of his senses, but dammit she loved him anyway. She loved him with her entire body, and still that didn’t seem like enough. Now, in her brother’s pickup, with her whole world abandoned at the golf course, and her fiancé kidnapped in a black piece of crap with four wheels, she shed more water beneath her eyelids.
If she failed to push forward with everything she had, she never stood a chance at success. Sure, she had failed at almost every corner and streetlight. Sure, failure pointed the barrel of its gun in her direction. But failure didn’t stand a chance this time. She’d find a way to succeed, even if it meant she exhausted every last possibility. Even if she didn’t have a damn clue how
she’d do it.
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Author Bio:
Robert Downs aspired to be a writer before he realized how difficult the writing process was. Fortunately, he'd already fallen in love with the craft, otherwise his tales might never have seen print. Originally from West Virginia, he has lived in Virginia, Massachusetts, New Mexico, and now resides in California. When he’s not writing, Downs can be found reading, reviewing, traveling, or smiling. To find out more about his latest projects, or to reach out to him on the Internet, visit the author’s website: www.RobertDowns.net. THE BRIDAL CHASE is his seventh book and second novella.
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From one bookaholic to another, I hope I’ve helped you find your next fix. —Dani
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habsfans98 · 6 years
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Habsfan98 Opinion 2017-2018 Montreal Canadiens season
Season Records: G: (Games) W: (Wins) L: (Loses) OT: (Overtime Loses)  
Overall Season:
G: 82 W: 29 L: 40 OT: 13 PTS:71
 Home Record: 18-14-9
Away Record: 11-26-4
 Leading Scorers:  GP: (Game Played) G: (Goals) A: (Assist) P: (Points)  
Brandan Gallagher - GP:  82 G: 31 A: 23 P: 54
Alex Galchenyuk – GP: 82 G: 19 A:32 P: 51
Jonathan Drouin – GP: 77 G: 13 A: 33 P: 46
 My Opinion for the 2017-2018 Canadiens Season
 I had a lot of hopes for this season when it came to the habs line up. After last season disappointing first round elimination by the Rangers. I thought that season with a healthy core, and some younger players including the addition of Jonathan Drouin. I had expectation of going to the playoffs this year, and maybe getting out of the first round.
I knew that this team wasn’t a Cup contender, not with are weakness at the center position. But, I expected the team to be like the habs of season prior, and get through the rough patches of offense, with stingy defensive play, and the great goaltending of Carey Price.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
This season from the get go was a mess. Carey Price was arguably playing the worst hockey of is career so far. With play that reminded me of his early years as the habs starter. IT didn’t help that Price was dealing with the lingering effects from his injuries, that played a big role in his poor play.
This resulted in the team, have to call up Charlie Lindgren from the farm team, and pick up Antti Niemi off waivers from Pittsburgh to stabilize the goaltending until Price could come back from his new set of injuries.
So, with Carey Price injured, and having a very off season. The Canadiens did not have the back up and cover they’ve relied on to help mask many of the team’s flaws.
Which resulted in the team falling through the glass floor pretty hard.
 The teams lack of true Centre depth came of full display this season. Jonathan Drouin was experimented with at center, forcing Alex Galchenyuk to play on the wing for most of the game this season.
The experiment yielded little success, with Drouin showing very little development, and the maturity to anchor the habs top line most line most nights. I didn’t help the forward that took over the role as top center for the team; Phillip Danault was injured for the most of the season.
 Another area that hurt the habs shockingly was the teams defense.
This season was a polar opposite for the habs defensive core. At first, we say a short-lived spark from Jeff Petry, who was scoring in spades for most of the first half of the season. While Shae Weber was once again great at his shut down role and imposing his will on other teams; anchoring the powerplay.
However down the stretch the play began to slow down, the offense dried up, and injuries mounted.
Shaw Weber was the biggest loss of all. After discovering that he had been playing most of the season on a broken foot, which clearly had affected his play; before he was forced to get season ending surgery.
And while Petry, and new defensemen Karl Alzner played the full 82 games this season, their impact of the offensive and defensive side of the season at best were minimal.
 By far, the worst part of the season was the offense of the Montreal Canadiens.
 While Brandan Gallagher had a great offensive season leading the team in Goals and point, he was not enough to make up for the mess of under achieving, and poor play this season by the Canadiens forwards.
To address the major elephant in the room in regards to this season, we look not further the Captain of the Canadiensl; Max Pacioretty.
Pacioretty by all accounts had a dreadful season this year. Playing 64 games this season, before ending his season in late march for season ending surgery. Pacioretty finished with a G: 17 and A: 20. These are his lowest numbers in a non-lock out shortened season since 2010-2011, (Which was also a season he was sidelined with injuries).
Pacioretty for much of the season was healthy and playing top minutes on the team’s top line. However, was not able to get consistent scoring. Even though historically, pacioretty has been a streaky goal scorer; this did not happen this season.
His poor play on the ice, and often times less the enthused post game reaction and comments, began a rumor mill that Pacioretty was on the trade blog during this seasons trade deadline. There have been reports that the LA Kings and Florida Panthers, had kicked the tires on trade talks before and on trade deadline for Pacioretty. However, no deals were finalized.
It was clear however, that the relationship between the habs captain and the front office management and become rather strained. And one could only imagine, or fear that Marc Bergevin will try to kick start a rebuild, or re-tooling of the habs with a trade involving the once perennial 30 goal scorer.
 This season has been pretty disappointing to watch as a habs fan.
Not only were their very uninspired and rather boring games that the habs played. The teams poor play, just seemed to make the season drag on.
I will be very honest and say that I didn’t watch a majority of games this season. Not just because I was busy with a new job, and life. Rather I just couldn’t take watching underachieving habs this season, especially with a Carey Price that wasn’t play well either.
There was much better hockey to watch this season.
Another reason, was the lack of any real urgency of for thought from the habs front office. The season to a lot of people can be seen, as a one off; with the hope that next season will be better.
However, the front office needs to address the most important problem for the habs. The lack of real center depth.
Never mind the fact that we still don’t have a number one center. The habs don’t have any real center depth. Even though we have a few young pieces being groomed in AHL. The current rooster, and poor development with the coaching staff, does not give me much confidence that are young rookies can turn the franchise around.
I know, and a lot of hockey experts expect the Canadiens to be a big player in the John Tavarase swip stakes. Once he become a free agent this season, after his contract expires this July with the Islanders. The Canadiens have a cap space to sigh the star center to a big long-term contract.
However, I think this is the wrong move for the habs.
I believe that a full rebuild is a right way to go for this franchise at this point. Much of the team’s rooster is again, while some of the younger players that got to show off, during the last few games this season, showed promise at being good depth pieces.
I believe that the throwing the hope that Taravees with sign with the team, (Throwing all your eggs in one basket) will not be the best idea for the franchise.
We’ve already felt the effect two trades that leveraged the teams future for a quick fix to the mask the team’s issues.
And its resulted in this seasons mess.
 Final Thoughts
 This season has been pretty special hasn’t it?
We have so many amazing stories, and amazing events that have happened this season.
We have the expansion team on the Vegas strip that has shown us that teamwork, good chemistry, great coaching, and a forward-thinking GM; can make a juggernaut out of the clear blue sky.
Joining that team, is another team that some how turn it all around.
The Colorado Avalanche were supposed to be a bottom feeding team, just like the Vegas Golden Knights. Only they defied the all the odds, playing great hockey, staying relatively healthy, (before the last month of the year) and winning more than losing.
The player I think that will win the Hart Trophy Nathan Mackinnon has taken that all important step in becoming that start game changing player the Avalanche always thought he would turn into when they drafted him first overall in 2013.
On the other side, another team broke expectation just like the Knights and Av’s. The New Jersey Devils lead by the Taylor Hall, and so much needed injections of youth and speed, turned from a lottery team; to a playoff team this year.
Yeah, Taylor Hall is going to the playoffs finally! He’ll go there knowing that he’s in the running for the Hart Trophy along with Mackinnon, and many other players this season.
 I should talk about one of the other teams that disappointed me this season. The Carolina Hurricanes and the Arizona Coyotes, both failed at taking steps with their young players at their cores, and the veteran players they brought in to help with at step.
Although I didn’t think the Yotes would make the playoffs. I did expect them to be competitive. I didn’t expect them go on a 20+ game winless drought; all of which were regulation by the way.
Meanwhile the Hurricanes suffered from poor goaltending, and inconsistent play for most of season. And although they once again, miss the playoff by the slightest margins. Its clear that if the team wants to get passed the hump and join the post season dance next season; changes have to be made.
 Finally, I’d like to apologies for the lack of posts and overall lack of activity and enthusiasm I had this season on my blog.
I will be watching a lot of playoff hockey this year, because I know it going to be crazy exciting this year.  So, expect me to join a bandwagon for a good portion of the coming months.
  To my follow habs fans. We always have next year, to hope, to see, and to enjoy hockey from the Le Bleu-Blanc-Rouge.
 Now let’s enjoy some playoff hockey!
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trulyowenfree · 4 years
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Why Norwood Fisher might think I'm the Devil!
  Well, after that random roadside run-in with Johnny Knoxville (see my last blog entry), you can bet I was ready and gunning! With game stickers in hand, and the tie-straps of my backpack (it's an old olive-green canvas military one) halfway undone, so I could get into it quick. Even though it's not what I expected when I went to LA, or certainly not what I went there for, serendipitously meeting one mega-celebrity had me vow silently to myself...that the next one wasn't gonna get away so easily. After such a huge 'defeat' I decided very firmly, that if I ran into any more celebrities on that tour, like Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, or even Crispin Glover...then I was gonna make darn sure that I at least got a book into their hand. And hopefully even tell them something about my TV and Movie ideas. Though of course...I also really didn't think any of that kinda stuff was gonna happen again. Not to goofy old me anyway. But, if you are a True Fighter like I am, then every defeat you get handed is only an excuse to fight harder, and so that's exactly what I did. I hit those sweet old LA streets the very next day! Right back out there, trying to make my own Luck! And I even put that lucky Devil Pin on my hat (the one I found on the train down from Seattle) to see me safely through the city. This time I caught the train out to Santa Monica, and planted stickers all around the college. Then I hit the library and handed out some more fliers until the cops started looking my way, and you can say whatever you want about the folks in Los Angeles, but most of them are at least half-friendly. I mean, nobody threw the fliers back at me or anything, but no one really seemed like they cared a whole bunch either, and I even found a few of them cast down onto the ground around the corner, like brightly colored leaves that had just fallen off the Give-a-Damn Tree. So of course I picked them up, because nobody likes a litter bug...and they also have a link to my website, right there on the front. Next I rented another scooter and cruised down the beach-path through Venice, and on to Marina Del Rey, where boy-oh-boy do they got boats! My skull and crossbones stickers didn't look out of place at all either. Not there among all the sailboats and mega-yachts. Like any minute now a group of Real Pirates might shamble down the sidewalk and invite me out to lunch or something. Or maybe even rum, but I only drink coffee now.
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I stopped off at the library there too, and people seemed very responsive when I told them about my books and handed them a flier. People who live on boats tend to be a literate lot, since cruising often has a bunch of down time to it, and books don't eat up your batteries. So a well stocked library is a fine addition to any good vessel, and especially books about pirates and treasure, or even just a few short sea tales, or traveling to another country. After Marina Del Rey I headed back to Venice, and my dear readers...I have to tell you...that place is kind of a Heartbreak now. It used to be one of the most magical parts of the Los Angeles metro area, or am I wrong? More than many other places in the City of Angels...Venice will make you feel like any second you might become famous. Like any given moment you and Roller Skate Guitar Guy might end up on the big screen, or that some big producer might spot you loitering by old Muscle Beach and ask you to be in their film. And the Boardwalk... But now...in late 2018...the whole neighborhood smells like some kinda' thrown-away-dirty-hippie-super-polluted-gutter-punk-Hemp-Fest; with two-block long piles of garbage, and super depressing homeless encampments in almost every alley. Even all along the main sidewalk at the beach, like nobody cares at all anymore, or like The Desolation has just gotten so far out of hand now, that there just is no way to ever catch up again. Like there really never was a way to take care of everyone, and we are all on our own now. Welcome to Hell. And don't get me wrong either, I'm not against Marijuana legalization or even Weed itself, but when it's all you can smell all day, and there are kids and families around, but so many crowds of heavily unwashed people (who are obviously the ones smoking it, right out in the open)...well...it just doesn't have the attraction it used to for me. Which is totally fine actually. I've been meaning to quit anyway, and the outside thought that it might lead me (back) to a life on the streets someday...is a clear and easy deterrent. Nobody wants to be a smelly old street bum. No matter how high or drunk you get all day. But I was just being dramatic above. Ganja by itself will probably never force a person out into a life of blatherskite level homelessness, but it's still a good idea to be careful. I bought myself a new hat from one of the vendor booths along the main drag. A distressed-looking ball cap with the big brown bear from the California flag riding an even bigger bright green surfboard. Then I went to find myself something decent to eat, away from all the smells and commotion. Which wasn't as hard as I am making it sound really, because Venice, California is still one of the hippest, coolest, and most interestingly flavorful places on the planet, so I ducked into one of the many colorfully decorated breezeways off the main boardwalk and found a cute little one-of-a-kind coffee shop to get a sandwich from. Two fried eggs on good wheat toast, with broccoli sprouts and feta cheese...and yes oh yes I poured a whole bunch of hot-sauce on there too. Then, what was shaping up to be a super-fine day turned into an even brighter one, because when I stepped back out into the courtyard a long thin and lovely Mocha-skinned lady was sitting at one of the tables underneath a brightly colored canvas umbrella, and she smiled really wide and toothily at me when I looked her way, so I walked right over and sat down next to her. I guess I must have looked like Mr. Confidence about the whole thing too, because she even cleared all her papers and books over to one side of the table, just so I could put my plate, cup, and backpack down. But, if you've ever read anything else I write, then you know darn well I was actually coaching myself through each and every played-out moment, like: “Oh man, you're doing good, Free...don't screw it up. Just keep your cool and do not let her know how fine she really is. Holy crap! Look at those...cheekbones. Ah ha ha ha!!” (Look, I'm really only asking your opinion here, but do you guys think it means a person is clinically crazy...if they laugh out loud at their own jokes---but only inside their own head...a lot? OK...maybe even all the time. Well? Huh? Does it? Wha'd'ya think? And...what about if it echoes?)
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Her name was Nadia and she said she lived over in Inglewood, but liked to come out to the beach to visit her mother in her condo. She reminded me of a dancer as we talked, with quick graceful movements of her long lovely hands, and an evil-sweet toothy smile that could melt the paint right off a gas pump from fifty yards away. Nadia smelled like some kind of bright purple flower too, so I leaned in close as we spoke, just to breathe in as much of her as I could. And she didn't seem to mind at all. “So what brings you out here to LA? You come down to try some of this Cali bud? Shit'll knock you right out if you ain't careful...” “No honey, I'm visiting from Colorado, and we have all the Weed you could ever ask for. It's like going to Baskin Robbins or something; 33 flavors in every store. I'm actually out here on a book tour, to promote my new Treasure Hunt Game. I write coffee-table adventure books, and if you solve the puzzles inside...you could be the first to find my Hidden Pirate treasure.” I took out a copy of the first book, and I even had a couple copies of Three Short See Tails with me too, so I laid them out on the table for her to look through, while I bragged about myself some more. But don't be trying to judge me for it either. You would have pulled all the stops out for this girl too. I mean it y'all...she was fine! And the sizzling hot idea of me scoring even one of her Cappuccino kisses made it seem like the whole rather uphill tour might just pay off after all. Yes! “So you're a real shipwreck treasure hunter? Wow! Man, my horoscope even said I was gonna meet somebody interesting today, but I didn't know it was gonna be someone like you. This must be our lucky day.” The way Nadia looked at me right then, with just a bit of flush to her cheeks, and dilated auburn eyes, let me know she really meant what she said, so I took her beautiful brown hand and moved myself even closer, suddenly feeling a whole lot warmer in the cool December air. “I actually have to get going right now, Babe. I'm out here today doing a bunch street-level promo work for my website, and I want to cover as much ground as possible before dark. Sunset comes kinda early this time of year, though not nearly quite as bad as up in the mountains, but I want to try and hit the gym before dinner too. Do you think maybe we could meet up later? If you're not busy...” “I actually am busy tonight.” As she picked up my phone and started typing her number into it. “I have my kids this evening, but we could go out tomorrow night if you are still around. I'd love to show you all the local sights.” She gave me another one of those smolderingly fantastic LA Woman looks, and let it linger even longer just to punctuate her last sentence, so my dumb old heart fell right into it. Pounding so loudly now at the thought of what 'sights' she might have been exactly referring to, that I was totally sure sweet Nadia might even hear it. So I gathered up all my things as calmly as I could and excused myself quickly, before I fumbled and failed, but then made sure to steal a kiss from her velvety fragrant cheek as I walked away. Just in case it was all a dream. Out on the sand again, I ran into a regular looking middle-aged guy running an expensive looking metal detector back and forth across the golden cinnamon sand. We met over by the graffiti walls, near Old Muscle Beach. I stopped him to talk, and he was very friendly, especially when I told him about what I was out there doing, and that I was a detectorist too.
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“Yeah, I actually live up there in Ventura, but we come down here on the weekends and do really well sometimes. One weekend me and my partners found six-thousand dollars worth of jewelry. Not too bad for only the cost of a tank of gas! But I sure would like to get down there to Florida some day though. I bet I could really clean up.” I asked him (I think his name was Jonah) if it was OK for me to put a picture of him on my blog, and he said it was no problem at all, so here you go sir, and Good Luck: Next I stopped by the book-store in Venice, to try and consign my work, but the buyer wasn't in so I made my way over to the Santa Monica Pier, sticking my skull-and-crossbones Treasure Hunt stickers everywhere I went in between. On the backs of signs, on light-posts, dumpsters, newspaper stands, and especially onto any pieces of graffiti I really liked. Though of course one has to wonder at the possible efficacy of a sticker-marketing campaign...in a place so very sticker-polluted as Venice. Like everybody who has access to a printer and a pack of label-paper tried to leave their mark at one time or another, but at least I'm not the only one. Santa Monica was totally crowded that day too, since it was a Saturday. Just imagine a half-crushed case of sardines thrown down into a trash compactor, then getting squashed by some gigantic falling boulder. I mean it. We could barely move! And then a box of canned peas and carrots showed up on the very next train. So it was packed! I put up with it long enough to fight my way out to the end of the pier. And I was lucky enough to spot a long silver sea-lion playing around in the foam while waiting around for a fish. The ocean was green and cool-looking, with long strands of red-blue Kelp undulating around the barnacle crusted pilings, and the sounds of carnival rides and screaming children hung in the air like diurnal sonic fireflies. If there even is such a thing.
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And it sure is funny how the dank and briny smell of the sea goes so perfectly well with the savory floating scent of hot dogs, popcorn and cotton candy. Sorta like mermaids and pirates holding hands. They're not even of the same World really at all, but still somehow just seem naturally made for one another. The sun was getting low in the sky by that time, so I walked into the shopping district on the bluff, to go get some weight-lifting in before dark. I'm not a beef-head or anything either, in case you were wondering, or a gym-nut, health-freak, or even all that into the whole thing really, but I started going to the gym last winter (in Colorado) to keep from falling asleep when the sun went down (at 4pm), and fell totally in love with what a half-hour-a-day on the weights does for my overall energy levels. Plus I have a few deep nagging joint-injuries, from being a construction worker most of my life, and whatever beneficial chemical it is that weight-lifting releases into my body...does absolute wonders for all that stuff too. So yes, I highly recommend it, and especially after you work at a physically demanding job all day. Because then you get the real benefit. Going to the gym, or running, biking, surfing, or even playing sports after you bust your hump outside all day...is like putting the icing...on a steak. Plus, higher-end public gyms generally have really nice showers and saunas in them too, so I walked out of there feeling like a Movie Star or something. Ready to take on the World...again!
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The cool evening air felt amazing on my clean and freshly-worked body, while the wafting smells of food and cigars decorated the Santa Monica streets, and I was breathing it all in deeply. I stopped at a food vendor across the street in the park on the high bluff (forgot the name), then leaned on the cement balcony and watched the lights out on the pier as I devoured three more very heavenly tacos.  I walked toward the train feeling very satisfied, and was just about to call up Nadia to make the whole day complete, when I looked to my left and noticed a couple walking leisurely beside me, which seemed out of place in the Saturday evening bustle. The man turned towards me a bit so I could see his face better, and I couldn't believe it! It was Norwood Fisher; the bass player and founding member of Fishbone!! “Excuse me sir, is your name Norwood?” “Yeah, that's me.” He replied with a wry little smile. His date was a cute and tiny surfer chick, with shiny blue eyes and a bob-style haircut. She seemed especially amused that her date was getting recognized, so they stopped right there in the middle of the sidewalk, just to talk to me. I immediately pulled up my shirt-sleeve, to show him my Fishbone fore-arm-tattoo, and told him “My name is Truly Owen Free, and I've been a Fishbone Soldier (it's what they call their fans) for a really long time now. We've actually met before. A couple times, and in different towns around the country...but I'm sure you meet a lot of people....” “Well alright! That's very cool man! What you up to this evening?” “Oh I'm just out walking the city and promoting these books I've been trying to write.” As I reached for my trusty backpack. “Would you mind if I gave you one? I think you'll like it.” I handed him a sticker too, then pulled out a copy of How I Became a Real Pirate, and he took that graciously too, but I have to go ahead and tell on myself again, when I say that I was making another mistake right there. And it was because of that stupid Starstruck thing again. Norwood Fisher is one of the most down-to-Earth Rock Stars you could ever want to meet, but for some stupid reason I was getting nervous while I talked to him. I guess part of it is I feel weird for treating someone special, but I was also interrupting his date. It was all inside me though. I was the only one having a problem. If I had been paying better attention I would have realized he was ready to have a real conversation, and was genuinely interested in what I had to say, but of course I assumed otherwise, and I really can't tell you why. But I did manage to spit out, “Yeah, I'm on a multi-city promo tour for my two new books. I'm riding the trains around the country and trying to generate some sales. Grass roots style! Street level.” “Well that's the way we do it!”, as he turned the book over a couple times, to check out the cover. The copy I gave him was the older out-of-print version too (see my Amazon account); with the black cover and only the skull and crossbones on the front, and the somewhat-sinister sub-title that only comes with the full-length novel. And I don't know if it was the very piratical cover that spooked him, or if he was picking up on my nervous vibe, but when Norwood looked up again...he gave me a cock-eyed taken-aback guard-dog look, like he wasn't too sure about me now. Like he had noticed something new about me, which he hadn't seen before, so maybe now he better put his guard up. And of course that just made me even more nervous, so I said “Thank you Norwood. Hope you enjoy it, and there's links to my site inside. You guys have a good night.”, then walked away quickly, before I made it worse. I walked backwards through the crowd, away from the train (?!), so I could cross the street and not seem like I was following them. But then when I started walking up the opposite side, I looked over...and they were walking parallel to me across the busy street. Norwood just happened to look my way at the same time too, and we even met eyes...so now it looked even more awkward! Like I was stalking them, and trying not to look like it! Celebrities are so weird. Of course I called my friend Terrence back in Tarpon City, just as soon as I was on the train. He's the only other person I know who is as big of a Fishbone fan as I am, so I just had to let him in on the story. “Are you serious? And you met him in LA?! Oh man, you are out there living life, my brother Truly! I wish I could be out there with you. And you say you even gave him one of your books? That is amazing. I bet he's gonna like it.” “Yeah Terrence, I can barely believe it just happened, and I was there. I totally screwed it up though. He was being really cool, and I think he even wanted to keep talking, but then I made him nervous or something. And I totally gave him the wrong book too. I gave him a copy of the pirate one, but should have totally given him Three Short See Tails. It even has Fishbone glyphs in it, from my tattoo, but I got all nervous again. I'm such a Starstruck little kook!” “Ahhh, don't be so hard on yourself buddy. At least you're out there trying, and it sounds like luck is on your side, if you ask me. Maybe you'll run into him again, or even somebody else. So you should just keep right on doing what you're doing. But hey listen I gotta run. I'm at work right now, and somebody might have a heart attack if I don't pay attention to these monitors, so let me get back to you later. Good to hear from you, bro. Keep on truckin'!”
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But you know I still beat myself up, all the back to my vacation rental, which was really just a bunk in a tiny bedroom...with four other people in it. Not even a hostel really. Just some guys house he was paying off by running an Air-BnB mill. Pretty good trick really, and you would probably meet all kinds of people. Hmmm... I got back to the room about eight, and was feeling so low I decided to call it an early one. I put my bag in a locker and was just about to hang my hat up when I noticed the shiny red Devil Pin winking at me in the lamplight. “Oh! That's probably what freaked him out! Norwood saw the black sinister book cover, and the devil pin...and thought I was The Devil himself or something. Especially with my weird old name, and especially here in LA. 'Cuz I'm sure The Devil has a house around here somewhere. Probably a few...” Fishbone has some pretty strong ties to the Gospel community, and are known to be mostly good and spiritual people too, so maybe Norwood thought I was some kinda evil weirdo trying to get at him. Or at least that's the best I could figure. And that really sucked. What another major fail! Just trying to do something good, but I ended up freaking out someone I wanted to get closer to. Dammit! I vowed right then and there...to go to the very next Fishbone show and explain myself. But if you are an adventurer too, then maybe you should check out my armchair treasure hunt. Bet you can't crack the code. Copyright 2020 Truly Owen Free. All rights reserved. Read the full article
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gadgetsrevv · 5 years
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Euro 2020 qualifying: How Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain’s England fan experience gave him new perspective
It was, according to Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, a “surreal” moment of realisation. “I was shocked,” he says.
Back during that balmy summer of 2018, the Liverpool midfielder decided to take a trip to Boxpark in Shoreditch, to watch one of the World Cup games he would otherwise have started. It was one of the many little opportunities that his long-term injury provided to do something different, but also served to keep him mentally focused. It instead led to something of an out-of-body experience.
“That was the first time I’ve ever watched a football match with football fans of my team, if that makes sense. I’m always either at the stadium, or at home. I’ve never been to a pub where there’s a bunch of Liverpool fans or Arsenal fans or England fans and watched it with them, to see what it means to them.
We’ll tell you what’s true. You can form your own view.
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“It was another moment where I realised – I can’t swear, can I? – it was ‘Shit! I’ve missed something big here! This is special.’”
That is something often forgotten with players who became top-level professionals in their mid-teens, as was the case with the 16-year-old Oxlade-Chamberlain. For him, it’s not something he’d forgotten, it was something he’d never experienced, and a novel inversion of seeing how the other half lived.
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1/22 Nick Pope – 6
REUTERS
2/22 Matthew Lowton – 6
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3/22 James Tarkowski – 7
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4/22 Ben Mee – 5
PA
5/22 Erik Pieters – 7
PA
6/22 Aaron Lennon – 6
Action Images via Reuters
7/22 Ashley Westwood – 6
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8/22 Jack Cork – 6
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9/22 Dwight McNeil – 6
Action Images via Reuters
10/22 Ashley Barnes – 6
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11/22 Chris Wood – 5
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12/22 <b>Liverpool:</b> Adrian – 7
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13/22 Trent Alexander-Arnold – 8
Liverpool FC via Getty Images
14/22 Joel Matip – 7
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15/22 Virgil van Dijk – 8
Action Images via Reuters
16/22 Andy Robertson – 7
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17/22 Jordan Henderson – 7
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18/22 Fabinho – 7
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19/22 Georginio Wijnaldum – 7
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20/22 Mohamed Salah – 7
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21/22 Roberto Firmino – 9
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22/22 Sadio Mane – 8
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1/22 Nick Pope – 6
REUTERS
2/22 Matthew Lowton – 6
PA
3/22 James Tarkowski – 7
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4/22 Ben Mee – 5
PA
5/22 Erik Pieters – 7
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6/22 Aaron Lennon – 6
Action Images via Reuters
7/22 Ashley Westwood – 6
PA
8/22 Jack Cork – 6
AFP/Getty Images
9/22 Dwight McNeil – 6
Action Images via Reuters
10/22 Ashley Barnes – 6
PA
11/22 Chris Wood – 5
AFP/Getty Images
12/22 <b>Liverpool:</b> Adrian – 7
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13/22 Trent Alexander-Arnold – 8
Liverpool FC via Getty Images
14/22 Joel Matip – 7
Getty Images
15/22 Virgil van Dijk – 8
Action Images via Reuters
16/22 Andy Robertson – 7
Getty Images
17/22 Jordan Henderson – 7
Getty Images
18/22 Fabinho – 7
PA
19/22 Georginio Wijnaldum – 7
AFP/Getty Images
20/22 Mohamed Salah – 7
PA
21/22 Roberto Firmino – 9
PA
22/22 Sadio Mane – 8
EPA
“It was a surreal moment where I could see my mates on the screen doing what I usually do, and how everyone around them was reacting and what it meant to them. I was almost idolising them as well. Just seeing them do that and what it was creating around me, I was like “Oh my God, that’s Raheem Sterling, look at what he’s done, do I really do that?” It was an experience, and my friends were like ‘Chambo, this is why it’s so weird for us when we sit at home with you, and then people that we know, how they talk about you and what they think of you’. It’s like, we’re not what you see on there, put it that way.”
Did it not occasionally lead to the urge to show how the other half think, and gently correct any criticisms?
“There were a few times where a bit of abuse stuck out and I wanted to be like ‘Relax, relax, calm down!’ but no, that’s what football’s all about. There were probably a few times when I was with them. ‘What you doing?!’ 
“Seeing what it meant to people, people rushing in from work, their shirts on still, their ties, bringing their girlfriend who’s rushed in from the City as well. I met a couple of doctors there, a couple of boys from the City, a couple of plumbers, [they] all came into Boxpark and it was just mayhem and meant so much to everyone. I’d never seen that first hand, so it was really, really special and sort of a reminder of what it means to play for England and how special that is.”
Oxlade-Chamberlain in action against Tranmere (Getty)
It adds an extra layer of meaning to Saturday’s Euro 2020 qualifier with Bulgaria for Oxlade-Chamberlain, which is likely to be his first England cap since the March 2018 friendly draw with Italy, especially since Gareth Southgate has already confirmed he would have been a starter had it not been for his serious knee injury.
“It’s like something new again,” he smiles. “It’s been 16 months, and there are a lot of new players here. I’ve got to get used to it again, how things work, the new lads. It’s exciting, feels kind of like a new start.”
It’s certainly been a long road back since going down in the first leg of that Champions League semi-final win over Roma in April 2018. Oxlade-Chamberlain has spoken at length about that recovery, but admits now he didn’t initially tell his Liverpool teammates the extent of the injury, because he didn’t want to dampen the mood around the raucous run to their first Champions League final under Jurgen Klopp.
“A few of them knew the severity, they didn’t know the timescale. They knew I had to go in for surgery, and generally that means nine months. I didn’t want them to put it out to the public and to the fans that it was going to be at least a year at that point just because it would have been a story that wasn’t really relevant at the time in terms of what we were trying to achieve. It was something that will affect the team months and months down the line if I am not going to be available. We don’t need to talk about me. It was more about concentrating on what the boys were doing, and how special that was.”
That run to Kiev felt like the start of the final stage of this Liverpool team’s development, that transformed them into one of the best teams on the planet. It also led to one of the starkest moments for Oxlade-Chamberlain, at the Olympic Stadium in the Ukrainian capital itself.
Oxlade-Chamberlain on the sidelines during the Champions League final (Getty)
“I was at a point where it hadn’t sunk in at that point. The season was still going, everyone was still working towards a thing that was so special in the Champions League that I still felt a massive part of. I was still living on through them. That’s the only thing that matters at that point, and if they win that, I win that, I feel like it was all worth it, and all good. So when the final whistle went there, that’s when it really hit me, and I got a bit emotional on the pitch, that was really hard. Then they had me in at Melwood the next day for rehab! To crack on.”
Oxlade-Chamberlain greatly praises how Liverpool and the fans treated him during his recovery, as well as Southgate.
The trip to watch that match against Belgium during the 2018 World Cup was just one of many little steps to keep a perspective things, to use the injury as a positive, as was increased work on business interests like buying into a tech company. Oxlade-Chamberlain also did a lot of hospital visits, most notably at Christmas to the Zoe’s Place hospice, to which he then donated £20,000.
“You do get times when you do feel sorry for yourself, feeling ‘I can’t play, I’m on my crutches’ but there are people so much worse off and I kept reminding myself of those little things.”
Perspective was essential to this process in general, especially given how much it takes mentally to get your head around the prospect of being out for a year. Oxlade-Chamberlain divided it into steps and goals – walking without crutches, sprinting, kicking a ball – in much the same way he has done with his entire career.
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An international match like this, so close to a tournament where he would finally be a key starter, is all the more cause for thought.
“I maybe got caught up at a certain age and probably over-achieved when I was 18. I’m in a position now where I’ve just turned 26 and in my mind I still want to go to those places and give myself the best chance to be as good as I can be. I remember I used to think: ‘When I’m 24 I want to be right at the peak of my career and it’s alright because I’ve still got two years before I’m 24.’ You categorise it into years because your career is only so long but then every year would go behind me. By 24 I wanted to have won the Champions League and be scoring 10-15 goals a season. I set myself all these goals all the time but sometimes things just don’t go the way you want them to. You have injuries, inconsistency, and I have been inconsistent in the past for sure in my performance, sometimes it is opportunity and selection, the quality of players around you and who can get in above you. It is a very competitive industry and sometimes it doesn’t always go the way you want it. But one thing I would say, and why I remain proud of myself, is that even when a lot of things haven’t gone as I wanted them to I still make sure I come back with the same optimism to improve and to do more. I am happy with the way I come back from those things and keep positive and keep striving.”
Starting a Wembley-staged Euro 2020 final at the age of 26 wouldn’t be bad, and is now the very realistic goal.
Oxlade-Chamberlain similarly knows what it would really mean.
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torentialtribute · 5 years
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Cameron Bancroft is ready to cap second chance for Australia in Ashes clash with England
& # 39; It's a good motivation & # 39 ;: Cameron Bancroft is ready to catch Australia's second chance in Ashes collision with England after sandpaper gate
The Australian cap van Cameron Bancroft can still be seen in his bedroom
This Thursday in Edgbaston the 26-year-old will almost certainly wear it
back to Test alongside fellow exiles Steve Smith and David Warner
by Richard Gibson for post on Sunday
Published : 22:29 BST, July 27, 2019 | Updated: 22:29 BST, July 27, 2019
Cameron Bancroft has spent 16 months with a constant reminder of what is happening to his husband life was missing: the famous baggy green
Instead of burying it with the shame of its past, the Australian cap of Bancroft has remained on display; a fabric compass that gives direction to his future path after he lost his way in March of last year in South Africa .
Next Thursday in Edgbaston, the 26-year-old Captain Durham will almost certainly be wearing it for the ninth time and the first since sandpaper gate, returning to test service alongside fellow exiles Steve Smith and David Warner.
Cameron Bancroft spent 16 months with a constant reminder of what was missing
& # 39; It's a good motivation to look at it and go: & # 39; Yes, I play cricket, but there is something bigger that I ultimately want to be able to go back to & # 39 ;, said Bancroft.
& # 39; At home it has its little place that it is outside of my bedroom. "It is something that you are clearly very proud of. It is a very prestigious item to have and you take good care of it. So that's how I dealt with it and to see that it is of course very good to concentrate your goals. & # 39;
Although Bancroft's comeback began in the Australian domestic cricket during the last week of 2018, the pace has increased the northeast this summer, where he has hit 726 County Championship, running with an average of more than 45.
The test conditions are also not limited to the field. & # 39; Of course, there were people who booed or not, or who asked me to sign pieces of sandpaper. But it doesn't make me, & Bancroft added.
The sound will pop up at Edgbaston, the most raw of the international locations in England, where he will either resume his opening partnership with Warner or more likely enter the first time down, a place above Smith.
Cameron Bancroft was seen with his hand over the ball, before he removed a yellow object from his pocket – turned out to be sandpaper – and it in z
Usman Khawaja took part in center-wicket training in Southampton on Thursday without serious side effects from his hamstring, but the Ashes is not a series to take risks.
It was in the Ageas Bowl that Bancroft turned on the type of display that & # 39; choose me & # 39; shouted as the only batsman other than Warner during the internal trial to fight a pitch captain from Australia, Tim Paine, with the & # 39; brand adjacent to dangerous & # 39 ;.
The late play of the ball meant that he could adjust without accident when he got out of the seam while he was willing to carry a few deliveries on his body from bowlers of the pace of Pat Cummins, Josh Hazlewood and Mitchell Starc showed a match of his request. "Certainly in Durham, dealing with lateral movements is part of batting. You don't always feel like you're 100% on top of bowling or the game, but you just do your best, you don't feel in complete control, "said Bancroft.
Steve Smith broke into tears while talking to the media after the incident in March in 2018
& # 39; There were times when I had the feeling, "I've seen this before, this is like hitting the Riverside a little." I'd rather be hit than sometimes go out, so yes, you just stick to a game plan that you think will be successful e n just as much as the ball went up and down – sometimes frightening – the ball that just flipped back and could attack your punches in front of me was much more dangerous than worrying about it bouncing a bit. & # 39;
One player who wants to break a test cricket absence longer than Bancroft, Smith and Warner is the injury-prone James Pattinson, who was last seen in 2016.
The younger brother of one-time England seaman Darren Pattinson won two Ashes caps back in 2013, but was chased by chronic back problems. However, he was the most impressive fast bowler to be seen in the selection match and his recent rich form – eight wickets for Nottinghamshire versus Kent followed by seven for 77 in Australia's 10-wicket win over Sussex – should be enough to earn a recall
It may be a surprise to some, although not those who witness his recent red-ball impressions that Starc – the leading wicket-taker in the recent World Cup on away – maybe the guy is missing, with Pat Cummins for a first test appearance in this country and Hazlewood and Peter Siddle are also coming to the third fast-bowling slot. Australia (possibly): Warner, Harris, Bancroft, Smith, Head, M. Marsh, Paine (w / wt), Pattinson, Cummins, Hazlewood, Lyon.
David Warner broke after Australia & # 39; s scandal ball mess less than 18 months ago
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thrashermaxey · 5 years
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Ramblings: Jets and Flames Post-Knockout; Keller; Playoff Hockey – April 23
  It was locker cleaning day for the Winnipeg Jets and there was a lot of interesting tidbits to come of it.
There were a lot of votes of confidence for coach Paul Maurice, namely one coming from Blake Wheeler, with the captain saying he’d run through a brick wall for his bench boss.
The Jets have made the playoff in three out of five years with Maurice behind the bench full time and that includes last year’s trip to the Conference Final. Quite honestly, I don’t know whether Maurice is a good coach or not, and I don’t think the vast majority of hockey fans and analysts don’t either. Some people may point to questionable lineup decisions but literally every coach has those, so pointing it out isn’t unique to Winnipeg. The team has become more disciplined, ranking in the top-5 for short-handed opportunities every year from 2014-15 through 2017-18 before finishing 9th this year, so maybe he’s helping in this area?
Whatever the Jets decide to do, they better make sure if they decide to get a new coach that he’s better than what they have. The grass isn’t always greener – just look at Los Angeles since the end of Darryl Sutter’s tenure.
As for Patrik Laine, we may have a reason for his, let’s say, lackluster performance in the regular season: a back injury he was fighting throughout the year. The extent and nature are unknown, but any tweak would be enough to throw anyone off-kilter. Keep this in mind: Laine had a 30-goal season as a 20-year old, his third consecutive 30-goal season, while fighting through a back problem. Any and all inquiries as to What’s Wrong With Laine should now be settled.
In that tweet, we found it Nikolaj Ehlers fractured his leg during Game 5 of the playoffs. I assume that if he was fine enough to keep playing, any sort of recovery won’t linger into next year. Of course, once we have a more definitive answer, we’ll pass it along.
Josh Morrissey was still battling the effects from a separated shoulder earlier in the season that kept him out of the lineup for six weeks until the postseason. This was obvious as Morrissey typically played 22-ish minutes a night but played just 18 minutes a night in the playoffs.
We won’t know until we hear more about Laine, but it does not appear any of these issues will be long-term.
As I mentioned in these Ramblings before the playoffs, there were a lot of injuries for the Jets in the second half of the season. Morrissey, Ehlers, and Byfuglien were the ones we knew about, and now we know about Laine. It makes sense that this team did not look the same from January onward as it did from October through December. They’re a team with Cup aspirations but I hope they don’t blow it up. All of Laine, Jacob Trouba, and Kyle Connor are RFAs. I hope to see them all back next year.
*
There wasn’t nearly as much to report from media day for the Calgary Flames. It was mostly just discussion about how disappointing they were to lose out in the first round. There were no major injuries or anything along those lines to report, even Sean Monahan.
One interesting quote came from Matthew Tkachuk about how the playoffs are so much different than the regular season and he knows that better now that they’ve failed.
I bolded the word because it really reminds me of a lot of teams in the past. In 2007-08, the Blackhawks, a team on the rise, missed the playoffs by three points. The year after, they made the playoffs and lost in the Conference Final, winning the Cup the following season. The Penguins lost in the first round in 2007, lost in the Finals in 2008, and finally broke through in 2009 for the Cup. It’s not to say Calgary will win the Cup, and they’ve probably wanted to go deeper in the playoffs by now, but I see some other similarities here.
The problem would be that a major cog in their team, Mark Giordano, turns 36 in October. They can’t replace a Norris-calibre defenceman should he start to really decline. But if he doesn’t, there’s no reason to be pessimistic about this team.
*
Just want to point everyone in the direction of Cam Robinson’s 2019 draft rankings. He has a little write-up on the guys he has ranked in the first round as well as a complete list of his first three rounds, all the way to 93rd overall.
I also want to point in the direction of Jokke Nevalainen, who has been posting updates throughout the World U-18 Championship. You can read his first update here and his second one here.
Aside from Cam and Jokke’s great work, we have an army of scouts and writers doing lots of work at Dobber Prospects leading up to the draft. Be sure to check constantly for updates on the players you’ll be drafting in dynasty leagues this summer.
*
I was reading an article from Richard Morin from the Arizona Republic on the down year from Clayton Keller. There was a lot of talk about how he had difficulty getting to the net, and how the good teams get to the net to create chances.
So, I looked into that:
Going over our numbers here at Dobber Hockey, Keller had 108 even strength shots on goal from within 30 feet of the net in 2018-19. That number was 113 in 2017-18.
Keller’s individual expected goals per 60 minutes at five-on-five this year was 0.62. Last year it was 0.63. The importance of that is that expected goal rates are heavily influenced by shot distance – guys like Brendan Gallagher and James van Riemsdyk always rate highly because of it.
His role on the PP changed from primarily a bumper/net front-type player in 2017-18 to a primarily wing role in 2018-19, so if he wasn’t getting to the net on the PP, it wasn’t his decision.
Of course, there’s a whole lot more to the story than just checking numbers on a couple of sites. He did have fewer shots from right in tight than last year but his rate of shots from medium-to-high danger areas was basically unchanged. I’m sure there are instances when the coaching staff wished he got to the net more and that would explain their comments. In reality, when looking at the season as a whole, it was more of the same from his rookie year.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Keller won’t shoot seven percent next year like he did in this one.
*
We were guaranteed a third Game 7 of these playoffs as Carolina held down the fort in a 5-2 win over Washington in Game 6. After falling behind 2-1, Teuvo Teravainen scored early in the second period to tie the game up 2-2 with Jordan Staal scoring early in the third period to take the lead. Justin Williams salted it away with the fourth goal.
Alex Ovechkin was kicked out late in the game with a misconduct but it shouldn’t have any bearing on his availability for the next game.
There was a no-goal call due to intent to blow that may have cost the Caps a goal in the third period. Ovechkin jammed a puck that was under Mrazek's pad and he thought they scored. This was the play:
  "No goal" pic.twitter.com/XnbfzygDe3
— NBC Sports Capitals (@NBCSCapitals) April 23, 2019
  I don't understand the fervour, it seemed like a pretty cut-and-dry play. I guess everything is magnified in the playoffs.  
It was a great night for both Jaccob Slavin and Dougie Hamilton as they assisted on Warren Foegele’s goal in the first period, giving Slavin six points in the playoffs and five for Hamilton. The man named Dougie added an empty-net goal for his sixth point. The pairing played over half their shifts against Washington’s top line and just crushed them; Ovechkin-Backstrom-Wilson all had shot shares under 35 percent. Alex Ovechkin scored on a rush when they were on the ice but let’s be honest, you can only hold down one of the greatest ever for so long.
*
Dallas moved on to the second round thanks to a 2-1 overtime win in Game 6 Monday night. John Klingberg sealed the series on an odd-man rush off a nice find from Alex Radulov. The Stars had carried the play for most of the overtime period, and pretty much the second half of the game for that matter. It was a just reward for a team looking to earn a spot in the Conference Final for the first time in over a decade.
Ben Bishop, two days after his Vezina finalist announcement, saved 46 shots in the win. For the series, he had a .945 save percentage. It’s a fair to discuss things like Nashville’s abysmal power play, which was bad all year and went 0-15 in the playoffs, or their scoring depth, but not many teams will get past a goalie who manages a .945 over the course of a series.
Nashville’s third pair didn’t get much ice time, but I will say that Dante Fabbro seemed to get better each game. It’s hard to look good in a loss when you play 14 minutes on the third pair, but he seemed to outlet the puck well while holding is own in the zone. There is still a lot of work to be done here, obviously, and it was only a handful of games so beware confirmation bias.
The Stars now go to St. Louis to face the Blues in the second round.
        from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-jets-and-flames-post-knockout-keller-playoff-hockey-april-23/
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apostleshop · 5 years
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From Good to Worse: When The Holy Spirit Called Me On The Carpet
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From Good to Worse: When The Holy Spirit Called Me On The Carpet
Copyright 2018 Susan Anderson. All rights reserved.
“What do you want for Christmas?” my husband asked. Actually, truth be told, he didn’t ask. I pushed. For at least the last five years, I’ve wanted new carpet for our staircase. It’s the first thing you see when walking through our front door.
The house is 29 years old. We are the third owners and we’ve lived here for 20 years. So the carpet has seen its days. It is a dingy beige shadow of the ghost of Christmas past. Way past.
“Well, if we’re going to do the stairs, we might as well replace the carpet in the upstairs bedroom, too.” Now, Rob did say that. I swear.
Yay! I was over the moon. That carpet had seen better days as well. Teenagers trod their dramatic footprints all over it. In addition, when we first lived in the house, before we enlarged the living space in an extensive remodel, we used that once loft-open room as our family/TV area. The beige was chosen to blend in the background, to be a neutral choice with furniture, painted walls, and the day-to-day homeyness that goes with family life. It was meant to last. But alas, it wore out and deteriorated like an old cup of coffee. Stale. No matter how much I vacuumed. Steam cleaning? Yeah, we’ve run that machine a few times.
So I went to Home Depot and picked out the most dramatic and ever-decadent-looking, “Dark Chocolate,” for the stairs. It’ll hide dirt. And now that I am the only one who climbs these steps, due to an empty nest, the rich brown, plush pile, should stay that way for a long time.
The upstairs bedroom has turned into a guest/craft room where I pray, play music, and paint jewelry boxes.
I decided to go beachy, with kind of a subdued seascape look. The name of the swatch is called, “Gravel Path.” I like songs about country roads and walks on the beach. It’s a short shag of loops, twists of soft gray and white. It reminds me of powdery sand on Wrightsville Beach, NC.
But the cost! Holy cannoli. $1,670.00. Ripping up the old and installation is free. Yay, me. Gulp. Rob gave in.
That gulp? I was swallowing that guilty gravel stone.
You know the feeling in the pit of your stomach? When you’ve gone so far in the process that you feel there is no turning back?
Well, the guys came to do the job, late the other day. They worked fast.
Before they came, I’d prayed a few Glory Be’s in honor of the Guardian Angels. I also played the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary on YouTube on my phone while I washed the walls in the upstairs room. Dana, and her lilting Irish brogue, soothed my soul.
I greeted them politely. As they got to work, I became feverishly excited about the house looking nice for Christmas, when the kids would come home. I shared a live video on Instagram. I started on dinner, folded some laundry, and made myself a beet, celery, cucumber, carrot, apple, and ginger juice. Between the juicer, and ripping, scraping, and hauling of carpet, it was a beautiful noise. A happy raucous cacophony.
And then things started happening.
That’s when the carpet quite literally and figuratively unraveled.
I reached for a tub of coconut oil and picked it up by the lid. It crashed to the floor. A few pieces of plastic broke. The sound was worse than what could’ve happened. Even the carpet guys checked on me to see if I was ok. I cleaned it up and moved on. But then I heard a four-letter cuss word amidst Hispanic lingo.
The one guy who spoke no English went outside. I looked out the window to see him tending to a cut on his hand. A gash. He seemed humble and embarrassed. I asked if I could do anything and the other guy with better English asked, “You got any band-aids?”
I motioned for him to come inside.I grabbed my first-aid basket (blessedly, this was organized and stocked) and went into lifeguard mode.
I turned on the faucet and handed him a wad of paper towel. It needed compression. I grabbed gauze and made him read the Spanish directions that read, “Compresse.” We had to stop the bleeding. I grabbed some gloves after I washed my hands and wrapped the finger and taped it. He got back to work. I told his supervisor to translate, “Be careful. You work too fast. I’m sorry you cut your hand. You’ll need stitches. Please go to the doctor later.” He smiled and kept right on working. The bleeding stopped. I guess the guardian angels were also on lifeguard duty.
Then I thought, I need bleach to clean up. I grabbed a jug from underneath the sink, removed the cap, and in my clumsy haste, dropped it on the floor, too! I felt a splash in my eye. At once, I’m thinking, do I pick up the bleach that’s spilled all over the floor, or do I flush out my eye? I grabbed old towels and wiped up the bleach (concentrated, of course). Then I flushed my eye with water. Maybe that was also a guardian-angel wing deflection, because there was no irritation. Something went in my eye, but it wasn’t bleach. Maybe the cap dropped in the water, and the water splashed up? My jeans, boots, and my favorite St. Maximilian Kolbe hoodie were a spotted, bleached design now.
Holy cow. What happened? A situation that seemed so fun, so hopeful, just turned sour.
I retreated to the bathroom with a cup of cow’s milk to flush my eye. That’s an old swimmer trick for chlorinated eyes. I changed my clothes and prayed.
Because I easily startle, my husband knocked softly on the door.
I told him about the whole afternoon. The guys were still working. Rob went into calming husband lifeguard mode too. He went to the pharmacy and bought eye wash and bandages. Then he came back and talked with the guys and thanked them. He helped vacuum around the stairs. They left with a promise to go to the doctor.
Copyright 2018 Susan Anderson. All rights reserved.
As Rob and I ate dinner, we backtracked on the whole afternoon. Whew. Was I not supposed to get the stupid carpet?
I don’t know.
This isn’t an equal comparison, but what I thought about Mary, Our Blessed Mother. Did she wonder at the Angel Gabriel? Did she panic at the thought of Joseph’s reaction?
Did she question if she should say yes to the will of God?
Did she think once about herself when she hurriedly traveled to visit her cousin Elizabeth?
When the census required her and Joseph to trod to Bethlehem, through hill country, on a donkey, while nine months pregnant, did she hesitate?
Did she demand a plush, cushy hospital to deliver the Baby Jesus, the Savior, Messiah, of the world? Her Savior, her Messiah?
Her carpet was the smell of fresh hay. Yeah, that was her carpet.
And beyond.
Simeon’s prophecy.
“And a sword shall pierce your own soul, too.”
The flight into Egypt.
Poor Joseph. She must’ve thought, “My brave Joseph.”
I prayed some more. I begged God for mercy on the man who cut his hand. I asked that Jesus would show Himself to both men.
I thanked God through the whole ordeal. Because that’s what Scripture says to do.
“Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18)
I guess you could say that at the beginning of Advent, the Holy Spirit called me on the carpet.
Though good went to worse, we know how it ends.
We know how it is still being revealed.
When we’re tempted by chocolate, coveting, and we reach for that luscious bite.
When we wander down treacherous, gravelly paths, unsure of our steps.
We grope in the dark, sometimes, looking for the Star.
And we follow.
We seek, like the Wise Men.
And we see …
God’s Glory.
God’s Victory.
God’s Love.
Knowing that it isn’t even half up to us. Everything we have, our joy, our suffering, and our mundane, is through God’s grace.
At the beginning of #Advent, the Holy Spirit called me on the carpet. -@susanswims8 Click To Tweet
Copyright 2018 Susan Anderson
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365footballorg-blog · 6 years
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Warshaw: Running the rule over Wednesday&#039;s MLS action
USA Today Sports
October 18, 20182:03AM EDT
There were three games Wednesday night, all with playoff implications. Here are a couple notes on all six teams to roundup the night:
For United, aside from Wayne Rooney making me write “omfg” to three different friends after his game-winning free kick…
A low-key thing D.C. should feel good about is their flexibility with lineup choices. They can play different types of players within the same formation for different needs. On Wednesday night, Chris Durkin, Zoltan Stieber, and Nick DeLeon started. Sunday, it might be Junior Moreno, Ulises Segura, and Paul Arriola in their spots. Alternate lineups, alternate skill sets, without a drop in overall quality. As a result, the team can maintain its general style and principles while also adjusting for specific opponents.
A small but important variable for DC: the more they give the seemingly meaningless two-yard passes to Acosta, the more dangerous they become with their possession. Keeps ball moving + builds their orchestrator’s confidence.
— Bobby Warshaw (@bwarshaw14) October 18, 2018
We don’t think about possession enough for how it makes players feel. Touching the ball feels good. Every time a player puts his foot on the soccer ball, he feels a spurt of happiness. Sometimes you should pass the ball just to make players feel good; it builds energy and confidence. Even though that individual pass doesn’t matter, the fact that the player feels happy and confident will matter when it’s time to make a more decisive play. One reason Luciano Acosta has been so good over the last couple months (aside from the Rooney fella) is that he’s been getting lots of extra, seemingly needless touches.
For Toronto FC, the biggest difference between the Michael Bradley of 2018 and the Michael Bradley of 2017 appears to be the ability to get his body to do the “hard” things. The hard things on a soccer field aren’t tekkers skills; they are the tasks you have to dig into your heart to complete. Imagine those last three pushups when your arms are shaking and it feels like you can’t possibly push anymore and you have to make a conscious decisions to push through the pain. In soccer, those are acts like defensive transitions, sticking a toe in for a second or third time on a challenge, and moving your feet when someone tries to beat you 1v1.
Watch this foul that Bradley concedes that leads to Rooney’s free kick. He doesn’t move his feet to get a better defensive angle to cut off the passing angle; he doesn’t seem interested to fight with Yamil Asad for the next two yards. He makes the easy decision.
I’ll die on the hill that Bradley has been under-appreciated by US national team fans for years. But he hasn’t been the same in 2018.
Lucas Janson has been a good addition for Toronto. He’s a different type of player for them. For as amazing as they were last year, they didn’t have someone with his change of pace and energy off the bench. He didn’t score on Wednesday, but he stressed out D.C.’s center backs. It’s unclear whether Janson is win-a-Cup-as-a-starter good, but he’s certainly a nice third option behind Sebastian Giovinco and Jozy Altidore.
Victor Rodriguez and Handwalla Bwana got the goals tonight for Seattle, so…
Rodriguez is finally showing why the Sounders made a TAM-level investment on him. He’s comfortable on the ball and uses his low center of gravity to glide past defenders. More importantly to this specific Sounders team, he’s makes smart, dangerous runs off the ball. I highlight the word dangerous. Cristian Roldan and Nico Lodeiro have excellent movement, but it’s usually not directly dangerous toward goal. Lodeiro and Roldan often move to find the ball to feet or to make room for teammates, and Rodriguez makes that action into a goal scoring position. Rodriguez offers counter movements to the other players in his line on the field that makes the Sounders more dangerous.
Like Rodriguez, Bwana offers something unique that the Sounders might need in the playoffs. Bwana can change a game; he’s fast, fearless, and unpredictable. He’s not clean enough to be a starter yet, but he has the ability to do game-changing moments. If Seattle need a goal late in a game, Bwana is a nice option to turn to.
Seattle are now three points back of Sporting KC and LAFC, and Seattle have Houston and San Jose left on the schedule. SKC play Dallas and LAFC, while LAFC have Sporting and Vancouver. Considering at least one of SKC or LAFC need to drop points when they play each other, Seattle has a real shot of getting *at least* home field advantage for the Knockout Round.
Orlando scored! It was their first goal in more than five games. And they actually carried the match in the second half and maybe deserved an equalizer.
Matt Doyle sent me a message after Seattle’s first goal, “Dude, Orlando’s defense…” He’s right. I don’t have much to say about Orlando at this point, so let’s break down how that conversation (shouting match) probably went down in the locker room at half time. Here’s the goal to refresh your memory:
It’s Scott Sutter at right back, Shane O’Neill at right center back, Lamine Sane at left center back, and Will Johnson at left back.
O’Neill: “Lamine, where were you going?! Why did you get dragged out so far!?”
Sane: “What do you want me to do?! The guy got beyond Will! If I didn’t slide over, that runner was in on goal! You should have seen that and moved central to cover the space!”
O’Neill: “I couldn’t slide over! I had an attacker to my right! If I had come closer to you, the guy to my right would have been in!”
At which point both center backs should have turned to Sutter to yell “And what were you doing?!!!”
To which Sutter wouldn’t have a good answer. He has no reason to be so far wide on the weak side. The basic rule says the weak-side defender should be inside an imaginary line to the far post on a play like this. If the ball goes to an attacker that far wide, the defense can deal with it. If Sutter is tighter to the middle, he’s closer to the Seattle player that’s pinning O’Neill to his spot, then O’Neill could move central and track Rodriguez’s run down the middle.
We are too critical on professional players for some things. This is something we should be more critical of players for. This is an elementary tactical mistake from Sutter and the Orlando City defense.
At the 60-minute mark, I was thinking to myself, “You know what’s going to doom SKC in the end? They don’t have a player with the little extra skill or quality to make something out of nothing when they don’t look like scoring.” Then Yohan Croizet banged home a one-time curler from 18 out to tie the game. It both negates and accentuates my initial concern. Croizet was brought into this team to be that guy. They have a bunch of very good players, but they don’t have a moment-of-magic guy (think: Carlos Vela, Zlatan, Nico Lodeiro, Diego Valeri, etc). SKC don’t have the artist who sees the things the others don’t. Croizet was supposed to be it. And his goal Wednesday night reminds us of that fact, but also how rarely he does it.
SKC are good at pretty much everything. But they don’t have someone they can reliably lean on when they need it. History says you usually need that guy at some point in the playoffs.
Just when we thought Diego Rubio had won the starting striker position, Khiry Shelton makes a huge play to get Sporting their go-ahead-goal. It was a prototypical Shelton play — not pretty, and more for his teammate than himself. Then he added another assist in garbage time. In just his second appearance in three months, Shelton has possibly reasserted himself into the starting XI conversation.
BONUS: 16-year-old Gianluca Busio got his first MLS goal. He owes Johnny Russell a milkshake.
16-year-old Gianluca Busio scores his first MLS goal to make it 3-1! #VANvSKC https://t.co/GmtKb8dYDC
— Major League Soccer (@MLS) October 18, 2018
On Vancouver’s side, oof. Talk about opportunity missed. Vancouver controlled their own destiny. Yeah, it was a difficult journey left, with three playoff teams left on the schedule. But a win on Wednesday could have tied them on points for the 6th spot in the West. and they went up 1-0, and they led until the 60th minute. It’s a tough one to stomach. The ‘Caps can still get in, but they need help now.
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Warshaw: Running the rule over Wednesday's MLS action was originally published on 365 Football
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elizabethbgrimes · 6 years
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10 Fantastic Benefits of Fermented Foods To Your Gut https://drlaurynlax.blogspot.com/2018/07/10-fantastic-benefits-of-fermented.html The Benefits of Fermented Foods In nutrition world, there are tons of opinions over the “best” way to eat or “benefits fermented foods.” Some say: “Low fat, whole grains!” Others say, “High fat, low carb!”… “Grassfed meat!” Or “No meat!” … “Fresh fruit!” “No sugar (including fruit)!”… “Butter coffee!” “Caffeine free!” There are very few universal nutrition “laws” everyone can agree on, except for these: Water is essential Veggies are good for you  Fermented foods are REALLY good for you Fermented Foods 101 Fermented foods are a “code name” for probiotic-rich foods. Fermented foods are vegetables, fruits, condiments, meats, beverages, dairy and even some grains and nuts that are “cultured” or “preserved” and then transformed into natural sources of probiotics (healthy gut bacteria).’’ Humans have consumed fermented foods since the beginning of time. Without knowing anything about gut bacteria, our ancestors recognized the therapeutic qualities of these foods for staying healthy. Additionally, practically all contemporary hunter-gatherers that have been studied also consume some kind of fermented foods—even without a Whole Foods’ cold case full of kombucha accessible.  What Are Types of Fermented Foods? Most people think about beer or wine when they hear the word “fermented.”  However, unlike beer and wine, the probiotic-rich fermented foods we are talking about here are “lacto-fermented,” meaning these foods contain a specific species of bacteria, namely Lactobacillus (the type of bacteria packaged in many supplements on shelves and common to the digestives system, mouths, and vaginas of humans).  Some examples of fermented foods include: Condiments: ketchup, mayo, mustard, relish Dairy: Cheese, buttermilk, sour cream, yogurt Honey Pickled Cucumbers/Pickles Kefir (coconut, water, milk) Kimchi Kombucha Kvass Sauerkraut Sourdough Soy: miso, tempeh, and natto Vegetables & Fruits (carrots, beets, sweet potatoes, green beans, apples, pears, and any other veggie or fruit that’s specially prepared) CAUTION: NOT all veggies, dairy, soy, fruits, sourdough or even kombuchas are fermented or contain probiotics!  Most fermented foods sold in grocery stores or cans have been pasteurized and cooked at high heat, killing any friendly bacteria.  The best bet? Make your own, or check out my favorite recommended brands below.   Why Are Fermented Foods “Good” For You?” Four words: Healthy gut. Healthy YOU. A healthy gut is a happy gut. Since fermented foods are like nature’s probiotics of lactobacillus strains, eating fermented foods promotes healthy gut bacteria and more bacterial diversity in the gut for most people.  10 Benefits of Fermented Foods Here are 10 benefits of eating fermented foods for most people* (13, 14): Fermented foods…. Help boost digestion Make your skin glow Decrease allergies & boost your immune system Help with nutrient absorption Boost metabolism & hormone balance Boost your mood & brain clarity Regulate your appetite & reduce sugar cravings Decrease inflammation Give your body energy Help your body cleanse and detox How Does Fermented Food Get “Good Bacteria?”  The process of fermentation involves allowing the fresh foods of choice to sit at room temperature in a jar or fermentation container, along with a “starter” of choice, like sea salt, whey from grass-fed dairy or brine (water and salt).  Over time (3 days to 4 weeks), bacterial cultures begin to accumulate in your fermented food products. In fact, the longer a fermented food sits to ferment (2-4 weeks), generally, the more bacterial rich your foods are.  Remind Me…Why Good Bacteria So Important Again?! Your gut microbiome is home to over 100 trillion gut bacteria. We are more bacteria than we are human.  Without gut bacteria you would cease to exist, and our gut bacteria are responsible for dictating how the processes of how every system, cell, organ and function in our body work.  The overall health of your gut influences the health of every other body system that comprises you , including: Cognitive funciton (1) Blood sugar (2) Digestion (3, 4) Energy levels (5) Hormone balance (Fertility, PMS, PCOS, Menopause) (6) Immune function (Allergies, autoimmune conditions, colds, flus, illness) (7) Metabolism (8) Skin health (9) Thyroid health (10) Weight (11) And more! (12) Your gut bacteria metabolize nutrients from food, supplements and certain medications; govern your immune system function to protect your body against infections and disease; produce hormones; and send signals to the brain.  If your gut bacteria is healthy, than these processes work as they should. If your gut bacteria is unhealthy, than these processes are not in tip top shape.  How Do Gut Bacteria Become Unhealthy?  A lot of the bacteria in your gut is “good” (“healthy”), but some of the gut bacteria is “bad” (or pathogenic). Collectively, the good and bad gut bacteria make up the “gut microbiota.”   Ideally, you want more good bacteria (i.e. a healthy gut microbiota), than pathogenic bacteria (unhealthy gut microbiota). In addition, the MORE diverse your gut bacteria (i.e. different types or “strains” in your gut microbiota), the happier, healthier gut environment overall.  Unfortunately, thanks to our modern day lifestyles, the health of our gut bacteria are constantly threatened.  Some common stressors and triggers to unhealthy gut bacteria include: Antibiotic use C-section baby or formula fed Chronic stress Circadian rhythm dysfunction (screen exposure all day; light pollution; erratic sleeping habits) Eating the same thing most days Environmental toxins (cleaning, beauty, hygiene supplies; air pollutants; GMO’s, etc.) Food poisoning High sugar and carbohydrate consumption Illness and infections Industrial seed oils (frequent restaurant eating) Lack of sleep Longterm medication use Long term low fat diets Low pre-biotic fiber diets Nutrient deficient diet Oral contraceptives Packaged, processed & refined foods Poor food hygiene (eating fast, on the go) Sedentary lifestyles Standard American Diet Surgical procedures Travel to a different country         Although your body and immune system is strong to combat some stress, the more stress thrown your gut’s way, the worse off it is in the long run for bacterial balance. Your gut bacteria just can’t keep up.  Eventually gut bacteria may become “imbalanced” or “dysbiotic”—reflecting an overpowering of more bad bacteria than good. You may also suffer from conditions like: small intestinal bacterial overgrowth (SIBO), parasitic infection, yeast or fungal overgrowth, bacterial infection, IBD (autoimmune bowel disease) and the side effects that come with an unhealthy gut microbiome.  How Do I Know if My Gut Bacteria is Bad?  Common side effects or signs that you have “unhealthy” or “imbalanced” gut bacteria include: “Adrenal fatigue” Allergies Blood sugar control issues Difficulty losing or gaining healthy weight GERD GI discomfort (constipation, bloating, gas) Heart disease markers High cholesterol  Hormone imbalances (infertility, PMS, PCOS, “crazy” menopause symptoms) Poor appetite Poor immune function (get sick often) Skin problems Slow or super fast metabolism Thyroid problems What to Do About Unhealthy Gut Bacteria? Back to eating fermented foods! Fermented foods are one of the essential weapons to arming your gut for healthy gut bacteria success. Aim to eat 1-2 condiment sized portions of fermented foods each day, with meals. Incorporate a variety of these foods.  The cheapest and easiest way to get in your fermented foods? Make them yourself!! 3 Easy Steps to Make Fermented Foods at Home Making fermented foods at home is a “cooking” practice as old as time. It is super easy to do! Here’s all you need to know: Step 1: Decide What You Are Making Here are a few most popular at-home ferments: Fermented Veggies/Fruits Kefir  Kombucha Yogurt  2. Get the Supplies Different foods require a bit of a different process and supplies.  Fermented Veggies:  tightly sealed large mason jar(s)-quart sized sea salt  fresh vegetables spices of choice: 1 tbsp. caraway, cloves &/or mustard seeds for veggies Optional: starter culture  Fermented Fruits tightly sealed large mason jar(s)-quart sized sea salt  fresh fruits of choice (peach, pear, apples, diced) Lemon juice (5 lemons juiced or 1/4 cup lemon juice) spices of choice: 1 tbsp. cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves Optional: starter culture Kefir tightly sealed large mason jar(s)-quart size 1-2 tbsp. “starter” (kefir grains or cultures, buy HERE) grass-fed, organic and/or raw milk (cow or goat) A breathable cover for the jar such as a tight-weave towel, butter muslin, paper towel, or paper coffee filter Rubberband Kombucha:  large glass container with a wide bottom “SCOBY” 1/2 cup mature acidic kombucha (like Health-Ade brand) 1 quart/liter filtered water black tea- 1 tbsp. Loose or 2 tea bags organic cane sugar- 1/4 cup  Cloth to cover top of bottler Yogurt  mason jar with tight cap 16 oz. coconut milk or grass-fed, organic milk (cow, goat) 2 quality probiotic capsules (like these)  3. Set Aside 5-10 Minutes to Make Your Ferments No long meal prep time needed. Click on each ferment for the recipe and follow the directions: Fermented Veggies In a large, bowl, mix grated/shredded veggies, 2 tbsp. Sea Salt  Pound with a wooden pounder or a meat hammer for about 5-10 minutes to release juices Place in a quart-sized, wide-mouth mason jar and press down firmly with a pounder or meat hammer until juices come to the top of the veggie or fruit. The top of the cabbage should be at least 1 inch below the top of the jar. Cover tightly and keep at room temperature for about 3 days before transferring to the refrigerator. The veggies or fruit may be eaten immediately, but it improves with age. Fermented Fruits Combine the chopped fruit, sea salt, lemon juice, and spices together. Place the mixture little by little in your fermentation jar, pounding it vigorously to  release the juices. Make sure the mixture fills the jar up to no more than 1 inch below the top (because of the expansion) and that the extracted water covers the mixture. If not, create a brine of filtered water with a few pinches of salt to cover the mixture. Press the fruits and keep them under the brine by placing a plate or a lid on top weighted down by a boiled rock, plate, or a jug of water. Cover with a clean towel if needed to keep out fruit flies. Place the fermentation jar in a warm spot in your kitchen and allow the fruit to ferment for 2 to 4 days. Check on it from time to time to be sure that the brine covers the fruit and to remove any mold that may form on the surface. . A good way to know when it’s ready is to taste it during the fermentation process and move it to the refrigerator when you’re satisfied with the taste. Kefir Pour milk into jar along with starter cultures (kefir grains) Stir Cover with a cloth Let sit at room temp for 24 hours in a cool, dark place (like a turned-off oven) After the milk changes texture and culturing is complete, separate the kefir grains from the finished kefir. Place the kefir grains in a new batch of milk. Cover lid and store in fridge Kombucha Mix water and sugar and bring to a boil in a small cooking pot. Turn off the heat; add tea, cover, and steep about 15 minutes. Strain the tea into a glass container with a wide bottom Allow the tea to cool to body temperature. Add the mature acidic kombucha. Place the SCOBY in the liquid, with the firm, opaque side up. Cover with a cloth and store in a warm spot, ideally 70 to 85 degrees F. After a few days to 1 week, depending on temperature, you will notice a skin forming on the surface of the kombucha. Taste the liquid. It will probably still be sweet. The longer it sits, the more acidic it will become. Yogurt Pour milk of choice into jar along with probiotic powder from capsules Stir Cover with a lid Let sit at room temp for 24-48 hours in a cool, dark place (like a turned-off oven) Store in fridge Lazy Chef Route Don’t feel like making your own? No sweat! Here are some of the top brands to check out with that “just right” fermented taste and consistency : Local farmer’s market Fermented Veggies: Farmhouse Culture’s   Kombucha: Health Ade   Kefir: Maplehill Creamery   How Long Do Fermented Foods Last? Fresh fermented foods are best consumed within 1-3 months of making them or buying them, and you can tell if they’ve lost their good bacterial properties based on 3 factors: Do they smell stinky? Is there mold on them? Have they changed colors? Do they taste “flat” (non-acidic) To ensure your fermented foods last as long as possible, here are few factors that extend the life of ferments: Temperature – When a ferment is to your taste liking, this is why it gets moved to the refrigerator. The cold temperature slows down the decomposition process and keeps it from fermenting further. Acid – When most homemade ferments reach their best level, acid is formed that helps to preserve them. This is what makes fermented foods taste sour.  Anaerobic Environment – Keep out the oxygen by keeping your ferments tightly sealed! Mold loves oxygen. Essential Fermented Foods ResourcesWant to dive in more? Check out these websites to find recipes and all you need to know! Equipment & Starters  www.CulturesForHealth.com www.TheHappyHerbalist.com www.Gemcultures.com Websites Nourished Kitchen Fermenting for Foodies   Fermented Food Lab   Cultures for Health *Question: Why Do Fermented Foods Make Me Feel Bad? Fermented foods are healthy for most people. However, some people find they cannot tolerate fermented foods. This is often because they have an underlying gut bacteria imbalance or dysfunction to begin with. For instance, if you have SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth) or a yeast infection, like Candida, you may find fermented foods make you feel worse—not better. Why?!  Fermented foods contain natural sugars and bacteria strains that can further perpetuate bacterial imbalances if you already have a lot of gut bacteria (SIBO) or yeast that LOVES to feed off sugar.  In these cases, it’s advised you FIRST address the underlying gut pathology (like SIBO or Candida) and integrate fermented foods on a per-food, as-you-feel basis.  For instance, kombucha has quite a bit of sugar in it, so it typically is not advised for those with yeast infections. Sauerkraut and apple cider vinegar on the other hand, in condiment-sized servings, may be better tolerated due to the low sugar and gentle digestive natures of these foods.  It’s all about finding what works for you. Fermented foods can still do a body good, but it is crucial to fix the underlying gut issue in conjunction.  How Do I Eat Fermented Foods? How Do I Easily Make Them at Home? Sources 1. Mayer, E. A., Knight, R., Mazmanian, S. K., Cryan, J. F., & Tillisch, K. (2014). Gut Microbes and the Brain: Paradigm Shift in Neuroscience. The Journal of Neuroscience, 34(46), 15490–15496. http://doi.org/10.1523/JNEUROSCI.3299-14.2014 2. Kristina M. Utzschneider, Mario Kratz, Chris J. Damman, Meredith Hullarg; Mechanisms Linking the Gut Microbiome and Glucose Metabolism, The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, Volume 101, Issue 4, 1 April 2016, Pages 1445–1454, https://doi.org/10.1210/jc.2015-4251 & Tai, N., Wong, F. S., & Wen, L. (2015). The role of gut microbiota in the development of type 1, obesity and type 2 diabetes mellitus. Reviews in Endocrine & Metabolic Disorders, 16(1), 55–65. http://doi.org/10.1007/s11154-015-9309-0 3. Cao et al. 2017. Dysbiosis contributes to chronic constipation development via regulation of serotonin transporter in the intestine. Scientific Reports. 7: 10322. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-10835-8 4. Lawrence, K., & Hyde, J. (2017). Microbiome restoration diet improves digestion, cognition and physical and emotional wellbeing. PLoS ONE, 12(6), e0179017. http://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0179017 5. Nagy-Szakal et al. 2017. Fecal metagenomic profiles in subgroups of patients with myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome. Microbiome. 5:44. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40168-017-0261-yhttps://microbiomejournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40168-017-0261-y 6. Hadar Neuman, Justine W. Debelius, Rob Knight, Omry Koren; Microbial endocrinology: the interplay between the microbiota and the endocrine system, FEMS Microbiology Reviews, Volume 39, Issue 4, 1 July 2015, Pages 509–521, https://doi.org/10.1093/femsre/fuu010 7. Wu, H.-J., & Wu, E. (2012). The role of gut microbiota in immune homeostasis and autoimmunity. Gut Microbes, 3(1), 4–14. http://doi.org/10.4161/gmic.19320 & Hebbandi Nanjundappa, Roopa et al. A Gut Microbial Mimic that Hijacks Diabetogenic Autoreactivity to Suppress Colitis. Cell. 171: 3. 655 – 667.e17. https://www.cell.com/cell/fulltext/S0092-8674(17)31116-9 8. Institute of Medicine (US) Food Forum. The Human Microbiome, Diet, and Health: Workshop Summary. Washington (DC): National Academies Press (US); 2013. 4, Influence of the Microbiome on the Metabolism of Diet and Dietary Components. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK154098/ & P Lu, C P Sodhi, Y Yamaguchi, H Jia, T Prindle, W B Fulton, A Vikram, K J Bibby, M J Morowitz, D J Hackam. Intestinal epithelial Toll-like receptor 4 prevents metabolic syndrome by regulating interactions between microbes and intestinal epithelial cells in mice. Mucosal Immunology, 2018; DOI: 10.1038/mi.2017.114 9. Alexandra R Vaughn, Manisha Notay, Ashley K Clark, Raja K Sivamani. 2017. Skin-gut axis: The relationship between intestinal bacteria and skin health.World J Dermatol.  6(4): 52-58.  doi: 10.5314/wjd.v6.i4.52 https://www.wjgnet.com/2218-6190/full/v6/i4/52.htm  10. Hedda L. Köhling, Sue F. Plummer, Julian R. Marchesi, Kelly S. Davidge, Marian Ludgate, 2017. The microbiota and autoimmunity: Their role in thyroid autoimmune diseases, Clinical Immunology. 183: 63-74. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.clim.2017.07.001. (http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1521661616302194) & Patil, A. D. (2014). Link between hypothyroidism and small intestinal bacterial overgrowth. Indian Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism, 18(3), 307–309. http://doi.org/10.4103/2230-8210.131155 11. Filip Ottosson, Louise Brunkwall, Ulrika Ericson, Peter M Nilsson, Peter Almgren, Céline Fernandez, Olle Melander, Marju Orho-Melander. Connection between BMI related plasma metabolite profile and gut microbiota. The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 01 February 2018 DOI: 10.1210/jc.2017-02114/4834036 & John et al. 2018. Dietary Alteration of the Gut Microbiome and Its Impact on Weight and Fat Mass: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Genes. 9: 167; doi:10.3390/genes9030167.   12. Quigley, E. M. M. (2013). Gut Bacteria in Health and Disease. Gastroenterology & Hepatology, 9(9), 560–569. 13. Marco et al. 2017. Health benefits of fermented foods: microbiota and beyond. Current Opinion in Biotechnology. 44: 94-102.  https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S095816691630266X?via%3Dihub 14. Nevin Şanlier, Büşra Başar Gökcen & Aybüke Ceyhun Sezgin (2017) Health benefits of fermented foods, Critical Reviews in Food Science and Nutrition, DOI: 10.1080/10408398.2017.1383355 The post 10 Fantastic Benefits of Fermented Foods To Your Gut appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn. Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/uncategorized/benefits-fermented-foods/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/
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