#i’m abt 12-years-old for some reason)

[why-the-heck-not]

The yearly phenomenon where u get the first rays of sunshine and ppl (me included) act like it’s summer even tho it’s still just +1 degrees out; all I can think abt is making an icey coffee treat and I saw a person casually walking outside in shorts

#also im corny so my favorite ’’joke’’ is that ’hmm what a weird light phenomenom we’ve got outside have u seen this shit??’ #it’s not even slightly funny bc overused to death #I think I’m going to make an iced americano and go for a walk and listen to hozier bc oh duuude that’s the best #and wear the leather jacket !! and sunglasses!!! (im abt to feel the coolest I’ve felt in months; winter clothes make me feel like #i’m abt 12-years-old for some reason) #I should study yes but walk first now that there’s sun that will never not help with things #march 2024 #2024

[terfrepliesonly]

Throughout my teens I was determined to get breast reduction surgery. My mother had had it in her 50s after years of back pain & fruitless bra shopping - she had a relatively easy recovery & is happy with the results. When I was 20 I asked her to set up a consultation with the same surgeon for myself, & she readily agreed.

The surgeon examined my breasts & confirmed that I was a good candidate for the surgery - in fact, due to a relatively low proportion of dense tissue vs. fatty tissue, I could potentially see a much greater reduction in size than my mother had, with the possibility of reducing my E-cup breasts to a small C. The surgery would be covered by OHIP, which does not cover cosmetic surgeries, as the surgeon would say it was treatment for back pain. I booked a date.

Thing is, I didn’t really have back pain - neither did my mom at 20 years old, with much bigger breasts. Looking back what I had was mild dysphoria. I’m a lesbian who was a tomboy growing up; my early puberty mortified me in so many ways. Big breasts were the first devastation, closely followed by the revelation that the growth plates in my hands had closed by age 12, meaning that I would stay short & slight with big breasts as an adult. I was miserable; I felt I looked like a cartoon character. Everything I had liked to wear suddenly looked ridiculous on me. I could no longer pass for a pre-pubescent boy. Men on the subway stared at my chest, even in my school uniform. It’s likely that I will develop back pain, like my mother, later in life, but the truth is I fixated on this surgery for purely cosmetic reasons, and was able to get support in passing it off as a real medical issue.

Shortly after my consultation, pandemic happened, my surgery was postponed, & I started reading gender critical & radfem content. I reacted with visceral horror & deep empathy to women whose self-loathing had led them to mastectomy & other medical self-harm. I realized the importance of bodily integrity, how we take it for granted, & I was forced to consider my own hypocrisy. I was in my early 20s and healthy; I’d only had one surgery in my life with a general anesthetic, an oral surgery as a child. I hated going to the doctor, could never remember to take pills - I would be especially ill-suited to medicalized life. I learned that the human body can only go under anesthetic so many times, that surgery is always risky, that the body perceives a traumatic loss. I was so young & had no idea what the future held - I could be badly injured, or get severely ill, at any point in the next decades. I could need surgeries to save my life. Did I really want to weaken my body by going under the knife because I didn’t like how I looked?

I decided against it. I took a highly physical job involving lifting, to which I had to walk a fair distance; losing a bit of weight & building some extra muscle improved my self-image to the point where I barely thought abt my breasts. I stopped wearing underwire bras & learned what clothing I felt good in. Today I feel completely neutral about my breasts - I’m grateful to have a body that is healthy, intact and whole. I never would have gotten here without radical feminism.

#radfems please touch #breast reduction #anti plastic surgery

[nothorses]

If you have the energy I’d like to hear you talk abt what you value in atheism as a belief system! (This is meant positively I’m just bad at Words, if the question puts you on the spot then no pressure to answer!)

Hello!! Yes!

I think "belief system" is maybe the wrong word- imo, a big part of what makes atheism what it is is that there isn't any kind of organization, there's no system, and the only "requirements" are... well, ultimately just that you call yourself an atheist.

I've seen a ton of different ways to define the word, and a ton of different people call themselves that- or something else- for different reasons; my point just being that it's a really diverse, really complex label, and ultimately I think it works about the same way queer identity labels do: you decide if it applies to you, and if you decide it does, then it does! There's nobody to tell you whether you're right or wrong about that; that's sort of the whole point.

I grew up atheist, and aside from a couple of edge cases I learned about in my 20's, my known extended family is entirely non-religious. I say "three generations of atheists" because I recall one great-grandma who had some angel-related paraphernalia and I don't really remember her deal about it, and because "atheist" is a close enough shorthand; some of my family would probably rather describe themselves as "agnostic", but their reasoning, when I've asked, is largely that they think "atheist" means "anti-theist".

I also say that because my experience in learning about religion has been... kind of unique. I live in an area that is 60% non-religious; I think a good amount of that is that people who grew up with some Christian influence in their life decided not to pursue it themselves. Still, it's not super common to talk about religion here, and religious influences- while they still very much exist- aren't really named for what they are.

What that means is, essentially, that I absorbed a lot of values and ideas as a kind that came completely detached from any reasoning. And I'm a painfully introspective (read: anxious) person; I spent a lot of time reflecting on those values from a very young age, and I was encouraged to do so, in many ways, by the adults around me.

I distinctly remember being about 10 years old, in a car with my mom and stepdad, and wondering about why people Did Good Things. Was it selfish- because it made them feel good? What motivation was there to be charitable and generous, if not for some kind of reward? I knew I wanted to do good, and I knew that part of that was internal satisfaction, but that didn't feel right as an answer. I decided later that this was a function of human nature, to help each other- and even if it was an evolutionary community-building thing, doing good was also a way of building a happy, sustainable life with full and healthy relationships.

I have never understood the "what is the purpose of life?" question- it's been pretty obvious to me from a young age that there isn't one, and there doesn't need to be. We weren't "put on the planet" in the first place. We're here because of a beautiful string of semi-random events, and we get to decide what to do with the opportunities and hardships that comes with.

When I was 12, I decided, on a walk home from school, that my "goal" in life was going to be to be the best person I possibly could. I have spent a lot of time since then working out what that really means; along the way, I realized that in order to do this, I also needed to be a happy person. I needed to heal and grow and live a sustainable life, and I needed to value myself and my inherent worth.

This is a lot of rambling to say, essentially: I think atheism means different things to different people, but I think the idea that it's some kind of void of experience and value is plainly ignorant and genuinely damaging.

This is just a snapshot of the ways in which I currently recognize atheism to have influenced my life, and there's a lot more I could touch on as well! But the idea that we choose what's important is core to a lot of atheism, I think; and there is a genuinely beautiful value system that follows from this.

I choose what's important to me, and others choose the same for themselves. I choose my goals and "purpose", and others do the same for themselves. In a lot of ways, that heterogeneity is part of what makes communities work: understanding and appreciating differences in value systems and worldviews means including more and more of what each individual has to offer.

None of this is exclusive or universal to atheism (and again, the label itself is pretty broad depending on who you talk to) but it's an example of the ideas that can follow from certain questions pretty inherent to the idea that there isn't a higher power.

#atheism

[pineapplerightsideupcake]

hello im on anon bc im new to radblr and im a crypto but just wanted to say thank you for standing up for bisexuals on this blog. idk why but for some reason i expected radblr to have better opinions on bi women than the whole ‘sexually promiscuous bihet’ and ‘traitor for being osa’ and ‘more privileged than homosexuals’ bullshit that everybody else spews. the alphabet cult is actively erasing us in favor of ‘trans inclusive labels’, radblr is invalidating us by blatantly ignoring so many bi women’s experience with sexuality. the biphobia here is almost worse than any offhanded comment ive heard from a straight person. i also don’t think many understand that some women know they’re bi and are confident in that, but others may use bi during a time when theyre unsure if they’re actually attracted to men. ive gone a few of my teenage years acknowledging to myself that im bi, but now in my 20s im questioning if i ever truly felt attracted to men. the things i feel sexually in my most recent relationship with a woman are things ive never felt or even imagined were possible when ‘crushing’ on a guy. i acknowledge that *some* men are aesthetically pleasing for me to look at, but i’m also penis repulsed and always have been. theres nothing sexy to me about penis. truly. it makes me ill thinking about it. and that is confusing for me, bc seeing so many lesbians on here say how sure theyve been about liking women makes me think they did not grow up in an area like i did where homosexuality was truly thought of as demonic, even by the most ‘liberal’ people. i had no idea ssa was normal until i was probably 12 or 13 years old, and before then i just. repressed those feelings. i still did until i was about 17 and fully admitted to myself that ‘hey, i like girls’.

also i didn’t even know what the ‘comphet masterdoc’ was until exploring radblr, but i had heard comphet before and felt that it was very accurate in describing how i feel about men. idk anything abt what’s on the doc. regardless of my ‘true’ sexuality, it feels like theres a very hostile attitude towards bisexuality here, or even someone saying ‘ive tried to have a crush on guys before but only feel sexually/romantically attracted to women’ is met with ‘if youve even THOUGHT about having sex with a man then youre not a lesbian.’ no room for nuance.

sorry for the rant in your inbox, i hope this is okay. but yeah. thank you for being open about bisexuals here and standing up for them.

Thank you! I realized a while ago that radblr had a lot of issues that need to be challenged but I’ve also come to appreciate why these issues occur.

At the end of the day, almost nowhere allows women to speak this freely. Lesbians have had even their online communities absolutely destroyed by the TQ. So more than a few lesbian women on here really don’t want to talk to or about non lesbian women. And I think they’d be happier if they created a separate space for themselves on here where they didn’t feel pressured to, which I think is where a ton of this negativity comes from.

Bisexual women also need to stop offering themselves up as social sacrifices. I see a lot of the anti bi stuff come from bi women themselves sadly. A lot of women on radblr never unlearned that deeply unhelpful ID pol hierarchy from their TRA days.

As for your own personal journey, don’t let other people’s pain, no matter how legitimate, compound your own pain. The way I navigated my sexuality was I called myself a lesbian in my head because men did repulsed me. But it felt like a lie. I’d see a handsome dude jogging and feel a pang of attraction. Men still crept into my fantasies. I have zero desire to sleep with or date men. But that’s got nothing to do with my attraction to them. It’s a conscious personal choice I’ve made for my own happiness and safety.

So call yourself a lesbian just inside your head. Do it everyday. Look in the mirror and say “I am a lesbian” and if after a few months that feels like a lie then you’re bisexual and that’s amazing! If it feels like coming home, if everyday it feels more true, then you’re a lesbian and that’s amazing!

Please love yourself no matter what 💛

#radical feminism #radical feminist community #radical feminist safe #radical feminists do interact #radical feminists do touch #radblr #radical feminists please interact

[plushie-sentai]

Tagged by @stickers-on-a-laptop ! Tysm!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Five! Not a lot atm but I used to write a lot on wattpad as well 😅

2. What is your AO3 word count?

11,227 words :P

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Tokusatsu! Namely Kamen Rider Build and King Ohger atm, but I also have a planned Ex-Aid fic (and some old my little pony fics I may move over from wattpad lmao)

4. What are your top five fics by Kudos?

Since I only have five, my top three are

Getting to Know the Boogeyman

Of Courtship & Coccinelles and

Red Looks Good on You

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely Sento’s Wandering Mind, the whole thing is a vent piece and I heavily relate to Sento so it’s more of personal processing than anything lmao

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Of Courtship & Coccinelles! I write most stuff with fluffy endings but that one definitively ends on a bright note

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope!

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

I’ve written two smut pieces so far, which is a huge step for me personally for many reasons, but they’re both best match fics :3 one angst, one fun and sexy. Honestly I draw more of it than I write it lol

10. Do you write crossovers? I hate the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

I’m not much for writing crossovers BUT the exaid fic I’ve had in the works for a while technically is one bc it’s hatsune Miku as a bugster lol

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also no but would be neat :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not on AO3 but I love bouncing ideas off of people and also working on characters together, esp mine and @chilipepperconverse ‘s KR OCs :3 actually I used to co-write with friends all the time in middle school when we wrote together.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Bonkers ass question but rn my answer would probably be Bravesnipe?? But I feel like there’s definitely ones I’m crazier abt out there. Maybe sonotaro…

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Unfortunately probably the Miku exaid fic ;-; the concept is fun and cute but with some stuff I get an outline or somethin cookin and then it never sees the light of day again

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m pretty good at detailed descriptions and visuals. I’m much more an artist than a writer, so I’ve spoken before about how I view my stories like written descriptions of story boards, and I absolutely love to try and paint a picture with my words.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

In my actual writing I’m unsure and would love to hear any feedback, but for me it’s actually just GETTINg myself to write. It takes a lot of mental energy to start the task and I can never really make myself do it, it’s only when I’m in a rare and intense mood for writing somethin that I’ve got a REALLY solid idea on. That’s mostly why I’ve got so few fics. I have more ideas, but it’s difficult to get myself to a point with any of them where I’ll actually write any of it out lol

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Personally I think it’s neat when other people do it, but unless it’s French I probably never will. Even then I’d be so nervous about getting it wrong I’d probably find some kinda work around

19. First fandom you wrote for?

On AO3 it’s King Ohger, but in reality…. Oh boy. Warriors fanfic abt my sonas when I was like 10? Outside of OCs my first canon-aligned fanfic was probably one of the my little pony ones on wattpad. I did mostly original character stuff when I wrote frequently as a tween so I guess I didn’t start with fanfic until like a year or two ago.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I only have a few so I’m proud of them all for different reasons, but I think Sento’s Wandering Mind is one that I’m particularly fond of even tho it didn’t do as well as the others. It’s conceptually something I’ve been trying to put into words for a long time, and it was my first foray into writing anything REMOTELY sexual, which was a huge jump for me that I’m very proud of as a person who previously struggled a lot more with “catholic shame” if I had to put a word to it. It’s kinda a heavy read and isn’t perfect, but the fact that it’s out in the world is important to me and I’m happy with it. Hope you all enjoy!!

Tagging @chilipepperconverse and @cantarella-rose and anyone else who’d like to participate! :3

#tiny warbles #archive of our own #update btw: I did decide to add those mlp fics to my ao3 as well so now I have two more!

[cerebralabyss]

USELESS INFO I FEEL LIKE PUBLISHING!! and also just archiving on my blog 4 my own sake :D

here is the stories/reasons 4 all my alters’ names cuz they’re all weirdly significant in some way or another OR went thru a very long process 2 become the name it is today

putting it under cut cuz it’ll probably be longish

reffy & ramen - they both went thru different processes, but come from the same origin. VERY LONG STORY I AM NOT SHORTENING IT!!

we were finding a new collective name cuz our old one did NOT suit us at all!! and at the time, our understanding of our system was very different. we had a lot of trouble separating reffy/ramen cuz not having one host scared us, so ramen was a sort of “sub-alter” to reffy for a good while until we were comfy with the distinction.

we settled on the name remiel/ramiel, but couldn’t decide the spelling. we ended up using remiel collectively, but that name was also specific to reffy because again at the time afraid of deviating from host. so ramen ended up with the scrapped spelling!!

reffy - when we realized we in fact were not just one host, having reffy’s name as our collective name was rly confusing!! we ended up shortening it to “remy” for a rly long time. then, we ended up fusing the names “remy” and “maffy/maffal” (maffy is a sub-alter to reffy that we had treated as distinct for a while b4 realizing it wasn’t healthy for not fun reasons!!) so it became reffy!! and yes, reffy is short for reffal!! no one calls him that tho cuz it’s weird (other than dire cuz he’s strange but he only does that in private) (and sometimes jax scolds him using his full name cuz it’s funny)

fun fact: reffy decided 2 use the name reffy instead of remy in the vegetable section of a grocery store. very useful information ik (sarcasm)

ramen - this name didn’t end up getting changed till like a little over a year ago now!! they stuck with “ramiel” for a good while, purely because we have a dog tag with the name ramiel engraved on it and they didn’t want to change their name cuz then the dog tag would be WRONG!! but eventually they were like NO im CHANGING IT. the nickname “ram” rly stuck (since no one called them ramiel anyway cuz it was confusing with it being so close to the collective name) so took the ram and turned it into ramen like the instant noodles cuz enby behaviour (lh)

they actually considered the name “azriel” for a bit n couldn’t decide between that n ramen. ramen is much more fitting i could not IMAGINE IT BEING ANYTHING ELSE

(i’m writing this and im writing in third person to avoid confusion and it FEELS WEIRD!!!)

jax - ok i’m leaving out the context of my 2020 system yrs cuz it’s not rly relevant and complicated BUT!! this name came from back then. it came out of NOWHERE LIKE LITERALLY IT JUST POPPED INTO OUR HEAD LIKE “yea this guy… he’s jax” and i don’t know WHERE IT CAME FROM cuz we probably only ever heard that name less than 10 times our whole life. it’s RLY WEIRD but it kind of makes it feel oddly special cuz it just happened without us consciously thinking. like that’s just how the name was Meant 2 BE

his name has not changed a SMIDGE since then. he did end up deciding it’s short form 4 something else somewhere along the line, but only one non insys person& knows what it is cuz he’s weird abt it. it’s been years n he’s still keeping it a secret .. and no it’s not jackson !!! that’s ur one hint :3c

nuni - this one is kinda silly!! when we were like 8-12 our online alias name was our cat’s name and since nuni was the primary host at that time the name rly stuck with her. when she came out of dormancy a few yrs ago, we wanted to change it since it could get confusing differentiating our CAT from our HEADMATE so we went with a random nickname we called our cat!! idk where it came from exactly tbh,, but our parents still call our cat that sometimes like once in a blue moon and each time they do it feels SO WEIRD!!

dire - ima be real i know there was a reason behind this name but i can’t remember it 4 the life of me. none of us can it’s rly weird. just pretend this is an awesome cool backstory ok thx

BUT!!! there’s a neat story behind one of his many old names!!! he first developed/split as an oc introject, we called him “corgo” cuz he more closely resembled the comfort au version of said oc (which in hindsight was not a comfort au it was just the personification of the introject) and combined the word “comfort” with “margo” (the oc’s name)

driell - him n his sibling (who isn’t in our sys) both have names that r their parents’ names combined together n letters smushed around a lil bit!! his sisters name (alexis) is a combination of the specific alter names, and driell’s is a combination of collective names!!!

THIS WAS ACTUWLLY A LOT LONGER THAN I ANTICIPATED i expected it 2 be long but i underestimate how much i love infodumping about my system WAYGYH. if u read this all the way thru it means the world 2 me u have no idea

i wanr to infodump abt system stuff more cuz it makes me happy :33 just worry abt clogging up my blog a bit :P

that’s it that’s all!!! good day 2 u

- 🖤

(🥀🎀🧸 co-con)

#plurality #crbrl sys.diary #crbrl ramen

[sapphos-ode]

Tyyyy @rosalynesimp for tagging me in a share 10 things abt yourself post thingy :)

1. I’m an art student, studying illustration, who doesn’t actually draw or make art that much.

2. I have 1 dog, 2 cats, and 2 chickens (we did have 8)

3. I am small, I’m 152cm, or 5ft. Haven’t grown since I was 12 years old. It’s humbling.

4. I have a scar on my arm that I got from a kitten. It’s 13 years old and you can still see it. Faintly.

5. I’m an introvert but I enjoy spending time with people? But not in an ambivert way? However if I have a few drinks I will not stop socialising for some reason.

6. The first anime I ever watched that pretty much lead me to getting into art was this obscure card game anime called cardfight vanguard

7. I failed my first driving test (2 minors, my major was failing to parallel park), and passed the second one (3 minors). That being said I don’t think I’d pass a test if I were to sit one now.

8. I really love apples. Unhealthily so, I can and will eat like 8 of them in a day if I can.

9. Elsa from frozen was my gay awakening when I was 10 years old but it would take me a further 2 years and the Dolan twins to make me realise I was gay.

10. I have a really bad resting bitch face. So I started to subconsciously widen my eyes just a little so I looked less… pissed off.

:) I don’t really tag people in these kind of posts but consider seeing this as being tagged. If you’d like to join in!

[extrahorribledynne]

Spoilers for transformers earthspark below! Musings about the first episode abound.

some general praise: my god the music is great. That’s an ost I would put on while doing housework or something. I like the animation; fight scenes in particular were satisfyingly snappy. Voice acting was also solid, I’m sold on optimus and megatron already.

I liked the parents a whole lot, and I found the kids cute. I think we as adult ass fans of a children’s franchise really need to reassess the part about, yknow, the fact that we are watching a show not for us directly. Of course the 12 year old character isn’t for you, adult who pays taxes. I will happily take a bat to the hornets nest and say I don’t honestly think the children characters in transformers shows are actually as bad as people often make them out to be. I was a tween once and I believe an angry tween would think he could bike cross country and I, too, would be very mopey at that age to not even be able to contact my friends through my phone in this day and age. Hell, we all freak out when discord goes down. Case and point.

mandroid is… still a dumb as hell name but for silas 2.0 he’s at least doing better than silas ever did so far. He’s already made a bunch of extremely high tech spiderbots and is already doing lots of experimenting on cybertronians.

also the energon was pink. I love pink energon, win.

while 10 episodes are dropping in 2 days as of me making this post and more context is on the way, definitely think it’s worth chewing on that we weren’t given the reason for the bot/con war in the first episode. This was even pointed out by Mo telling her dad he’s oversimplifying things. And since he’s a cybertronian historian he would like. Definitely know.

I find another caste system/revolutionary megatron story very likely due to what we’ve learned so far abt the show, so it’ll be interesting to see if they manage to handle it well.

what else hmm. I think Darran Noris’ character will show up in episode 7 according to the episode summaries. So I guess we’ll see about that. I think on a purely objective level it’d be way funnier if Mr. Smelt was not Knock Out and instead Darran Noris just got typecast as a fruitcake in a transformers show twice. I think that’s hilarious.

also according to the episode summaries the casseticons do appear… but just 3 of them. And I’ve seen the screenshot which has Ravage, Laserbeak and one of the twins (whoever they decide the purple one is this time) what happened to the other twin. I’m worried. Don’t do this to soundwave again 😭

#Transformers earthspark #tf earthspark #maccadams

[potatoes-tomatoes]

Those questions are all so good, I can't pick!

1-30 pls? The ones you feel like doing 🫶

I have special interest in your thoughts on veganism tho

chipotle order?

carnitas bowl with pinto beans lettuce tomatoes crema guac and cheese

2. thoughts on veganism?

ain’t for me. I wasn’t born and raised to say no to meat as a hispanic texan. I feel it’s too self righteous a lifestyle, and somethin that’s very…hm… class restricted I’ll say. You gotta be able to afford sayin no to animal products. I understand in practice it’s so that one doesn’t partake in the loss of life or harm to an animal… but it’s like, why restrict that guilt to animals? Why restrict it to signals only we easily perceive? Trees and plants communicate to each other too, they also send their own signals of distress when in danger. They’re their own form of sentient. Whatever we eat, we are taking some or all the life of. (I guess except for eggs? bc that's just chicken period) That’s just something we must accept.

Also sometimes the marketing for it I find is funny. “vegan leather” you mean synthetic shit?? "yeah I'm sippin outta my vegan cup oh what brand is it you ask heh, Solo." like c'mon man. get outta here.

3. a specific color that gives you the ick?

I believe all colors have the potential to be beautiful within the right palette

4. mythical creature you think/believe is real?

answered!

5. Favorite form of potato?

Frenchly Fried

6. do you use a watch?

nah just my phone

7. what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium?

the seals

8. do you change into specific clothes for the house when you get home?

ya my pjs (old shirt and sweats)

9. do you have a skincare routine (and how many steps is it)?

wash my face with face cleanser, put on moisturizer. every other day or so I put on an innisfree mask.

10. on a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice?

I ask for a coffee with two creams and no sugar.

11. anything from your childhood you’ve held on to?

Oh many things, i got a bin full of em. sketchbooks, elementary yearbooks, diaries. My prized posession is my first stuffed bear, Clover. She’s stuck with me since I was 6 years old!

12. brand of haircare/bodycare/skincare that you trust 100%?

;–; none of them they all did me dirty. and I get too overwhelmed to look into what brands are the cheapest and best for my skin/hair.

13. first thing you’re doing in the purge?

stealing money to pay off my goddamn loans. That or I'd like to know who directly could cancel my loans (like is there a. like a "cancel loan" button on a computer or what. who's in charge of that button. I'm so smart guys I know exactly how the banking system works) so I could spook them into getting it done for me. I wouldn't hurt anyone, but I'd look the part to get them to do what I want.

14. do you think you’re dehydrated?

nah i drink plenty water.

15. rank the methods of death: freezing, burning, drowning

oof that’s tough. They all seem equal to me.

16. thoughts on mint chocolate chip?

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

17. an anxious compulsion you do everyday?

I often check to see if my back is straight or if I’m not pursing my lips

18. your boba/tea order

matcha or taro, blended.

19. the veggie you dislike the most?

lima beans eughhh

20. favorite disney princess movie?

Tangled

21. a number that weirds you out?

my ex's (badum tsh)

22. do you have an emotional support water bottle?

I am in possession of only one water bottle

23. do you wear jewelry?

no. I own some though for some reason.

24. which do you find yourself using, american or british english?

American, but I prefer using the british grey instead of american gray.

25. would you say you have good taste in music?

My taste in music is the only thing abt myself I’m confident in hgjkfd yes I would say so.

26. how’s your spice tolerance?

Take a look at my hispanic card you’ll see “güerita“ in bright bold lettering. 

27. what’s your favorite or go-to outfit?

jeans and a t-shirt with my chanclas 

28. last meal on earth?

Fettuccine Alfredo

29. preferred pasta noodle?

Bowties, they funky

30. ask me anything !

well gosh how am I supposed to answer this one y’aint sent me nothin on it pinsky XD 

#I do my best to research stuff I don't like so if i have any vegan followers who got choice words to say to me by all means come my way #cel speaks #cel answers

[watanabes-cum-dump]

I need to stop bombarding our discord sever with my PGR OCs so now I am here!!! Because I don’t think I’ve ever posted abt Anna’s revamp here, despite the fact that I first made and shared her here. (This image isn’t entirely accurate, she’s drawn with a heart with a lock over her chest now)

As you can see, her design has changed a lot and so has her character as a whole tbh. She’s no longer just a self ship with Wata but she is still everybody’s older sister. Also I need to rant abt her because despite Qiu being my favourite, (to bully) I think Anna is the best written or at least the most creative.

The whole thing about Anna now is that she’s basically a Marina and the Diamonds song personafied (sort of) Whereas before she was a more tragic heroic figure + a hopeless romantic, now she’s got this loss of innocence thing going on.

Here are some doodles of her when she was still human

As you can tell, she was a ballerina as a human. The whole thing with Anna now is that she’s been dealing with being used by mainly older men since a young age. I remember I was going to go into it a little more into SA with her old frame, Marionette, but I scrapped it or it never got much attention

Anna’s reason for being a construct now is that she wants to separate herself from this demure, innocent image of a prima ballerina by becoming a soldier. She endured quite a bit assault in ballet due to her partner being a scumbag + body image issues from her creepy teacher. The creepy teacher thing is a personal thing aight bear with me for a bit.

About the whole SA and older men thing, it’s terrible but i felt the need to explore it a bit. It’s sad how girls grow up so much faster because men want them to, or how women stay girls because men like it. I keep thinking about thirteen year old Anna being given candy and being told she’s so mature for her age and unfortunately I think it’s something too many people can relate too.

Anna is also made to look like a doll. You know, a symbol of girlhood. But she’s also been sexualized. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean. Also something something metaphor for one’s own autonomy over themselves. And I just really like the ball joint look and pretty clothes leave me alone.

She gets pulled out of the red tide by Vonnegut and help with the Hetero Hive mother, it’s only during Evernight beat when she realizes her mistake and defects to Babylonia.

I almost considered her getting pulled out of the forbidden kool aid by the Luna ascendant gang, and it could have worked because Luna was also manipulated, used, and discarded and she’s like fifteen. So they would have a lot in common (+Alpha x Anna shipping fuel ngl I think they’d be cute together but I haven’t settled yet) But I think it’d be more symbolic of her to get manipulated by yet another man. I don’t think Vonnegut is creepy btw I just think he’s manipulative in general. Also if she were to be picked up by Luna Ascendant gang she would not join Babylonia because she would become attached to Luna and Alpha.

She gets her memories fucked over, but she still has some love for ballet. I like to think of her dancing with Bambinata and even teaching her a bit. OH also she makes her clothes out of panini virus so she gets to have a bunch of pretty outfits mwhahahahahaha designing hyper feminine clothes is my passion.

I’m usually a little iffy abt SA but I was targeted by my teacher/coach when I was younger so that’s where this comes from. Nothing ever happened, but I fear something would have if I didn’t move. He used to give me candy and talk to me in private and say how I was too mature for boys my age (I was 10-12 years old at the time) and likened me to a girl he had a crush on when he was in high school. Gross, right? There was also a time when he made a kiss joke but handed me the kisses chocolate instead. Yeah I hope he got booted. Oh yeah and he touched my ass once. And used to hold our waists in basketball to “position” us even when we said we weren’t comfortable with it. Sheesh I hope he got his teaching license revoked or got put on a sex offender list. And I hope his second wife left him too.

Alright I’m rambling now lmao byeeeeee

#If you remember her you deserve a veteran discount #Pgr oc #pgr #punishing gray raven #she is surprisingly deep for a pgr oc lmao #I will reuse her for an original story dw

[vonkarma2]

1, 23, 27 for the oc questions?

This contains super old drawings so I’m putting it under a cut, beware my middle school art. Thanks for asking these were fun to answer :)

1. Your first OC ever?

I’ve answered a similar question to this a couple of times before, and I mentioned like the ocs I made when I was like 8 years old. This time, I wanted to use like my first legit developed OC who I put effort into building as a character (this was when I was 13-14), but I wanted to put a specific drawing of her that I was really proud of at the time and I couldn’t find the notebook it was from, so maybe another time. Instead, here’s my wings of fire OC I made when I was 11. Her name is Bobcat and I did not put any effort into building her personality at all unfortunately. 

From this image I assume she was nice, but who is to say. I like talking about really early ocs though bc sometimes there’s not even a concept I just drew a person with random shapes on their face or outfit and then like an out of context line of dialogue and that was it. It’s also like fun to see the ideas I came up with that I have NO memory of whatsoever. I made a couple of sparkledog type characters and drew them each once and never again. I had no idea I ever did that it was news to me

As you can see the one on the left is fire themed (he was a supervillain) and the one on the right is technology themed (superhero). I found this context from the writing on the page which I cropped out bc it is dialogue I wrote at age 12

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

Ok let’s see I’ve talked abt Angel and Gloria before so who’s left… I don’t think I’ve talked abt Daisy before. The like cyberpunk style characters originated as an idea for a DND campaign I had, and then decided to write out instead. However, I only came up with like one character, so I abandoned the idea. Coming back to it like 8 months later, I made it sci-fi themed instead. The first character I had like solidified was Remy, who was a pop star basically. For some reason, I later on came up with an incredibly similar idea of a like super rich diva girl type. Not only was this almost exactly the same as him, the design was also very very difficult to draw. So I was like ok this isn’t working so I redrew the character a couple of different ways, and one of them was like a repairman type character with super curly hair, who I thought looked cool, so I basically replaced everything abt the character (personality name gender backstory) except narrative role + role in the heist itself (<it was a heist at the time it’s not anymore).

Also Anjara was originally an ace attorney oc (<from when I knew absolutely nothing abt ace attorney but I had seen objection funk) with like a smug personality but then became like a samurai type personality instead.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? 

Yes. Many. An embarrassing amount. My creative process is essentially listening to a song I like that doesn’t have anything to do with any of my ocs, so I come up with a new oc  to channel the emotion through. To better enjoy the song. I don’t do this as much now though because 1) I already have a lot of different ocs to cover various song types 2) I’m better at developing characters from nothing I would say. But enough abt that let’s get into specific songs.

every like sci fi oc I have: daft punk around the world/harder better faster stronger from alive 2007

Laura: Dynasty by rina sawayama 

Saida: Grace Kelly by Mika. She’s totally different from her original characterization. It used to be like she had no sense of identity and now she’s like, the complete opposite of that LOL

Melanie: baby one more time by Britney Spears, not because her character had anything to do with the song whatsoever, but because at the time I had a bunch of ocs that were just like visual designs made for fight scenes I would choreograph in my mind. To songs. So her design, but not personality, was one of the ones I made for this. Later on it was Honey I’m Home by Destroy Boys

Tane: The Pop Team Epic OP and also Ironina by nilfruits

Aurelia: Wonder What She Thinks of Me by Chloe x Halle, which is interesting in that that song has a very specific and obvious story which the character here has pretty much nothing to do with. Vibes I guess and massive recontextualization

Henry: Friends in Low Places by Worthikids even more egregious than the above since that’s literally a character song abt an ocs backstory. It was also very recontextualized

Luke: Electric Feel Justice Remix

^This is all a little embarrassing to admit, but I’m not going to lie on ocs ask memes I take ocs very seriously. Also I like how it said “an OC” and I just completely ignored that

#an interesting fact abt my ocs is that I came up with several of them while I was in therapy #and I would drew them while talking to the therapist #and sometimes I’d talk about oc lore to her #I was too embarrassed to talk abt what are now my main ocs #but she did know the lore for Anjara Aya and Remy #I lied abt Remy’s gender for no reason he was too gnc for therapy I guess #my ocs #Also since the drawings I put here are all animal characters I feel like saying I was actually more into making human ocs even then #it’s just that I’m too embarrassed to post the drawings I made of them 🥲

[recordmcqueen]

I’m provoking you to make barbie movie rant. Poke poke *poke you with a stick*

I love you

One of the first barbie movies i watched as a child was nutcracker and it was so terrifying it traumatized me and i cannot rewatch it to this day

Island princess also somewhat confused and disturbed me as a child like "why cant she understand people what" and the whole POISONING ANIMALS thing but i got over it its not terrible lol

When i was 7 i went to a family event sort of thing and they had prizes for the kids and i got to choose between a doll+dvd set of swan lake or princess and the pauper. Iirc i chose swan lake but later swapped because p+p had Two girls on the cover but i eventually went home with swan lake because her dress was pretty. I ended up hating the movie and my friend beheaded the doll (with my encouragement) when i was 12

I hated nori and nalu from mermaida alike growing up because nori was a bitch and at least nalu had that silly carousel of confusion moment but its only very recently that i discovered that norinis actually. Very pretty. Ahem-

BARBIE IN THE 12 DANCING PRINCESSES WHAT CAN I SAY the evil stepmother was terrifying and this movie taught me the word "attire" (gosh for kids movies they sure use a lot of words no one knows) and shine is an absolute Banger and i just love this movie a lot i remember desperately wishing my room had a magical floor opening up to an alternate dimension and imagining what I would use those wishing flowers for

Barbie mariposa was also slightly traumatic cause of the poisoning plot but i really loved the movie otherwise i related to the mc cause bOOKWORM and she was also so pretty aaa i think i had a book from the movie at one point too

DIAMOND CASTLE I GOT THE LIANA DOLL FOR EID AND SHE ONLY SANG ONE NOTE BUT I LOVED HER EVEN THO MY FAVE WAS ALEXA i actually hated the girl in the mirror i cant remember her name now but i found her annoying and out of tune but otherwise man this movie was probably my semi sapphic awakening like WHO WOULDN'T WANNA LIVE IN A COTTAGE WITH THEIR BEST FRIEND LIVING OFF JAM AND BREAD AND BREAD AND JAM FOREVER man ok but the brainwashed betrayal scene was also kind of traumatic at least the ending was happy and so aesthetic omg i need to rematch it tho its been a hot minute

I actually loved christmas carol when i watched it even tho making barbie the antihero was very unexpected it Worked and it was just a great movie tbh we dont talk abt it enough imo

Hmmm thumbelina was kind of a miss for many reasons but when i was about 5 my mom got me a very pretty backpack of it except that also around this time i got a thumbelina book from school except it was based on the 1994 non barbie version so i would always be so confused comparing ginger thumbelina in my book to dazzling barbie thumbelina on my backpack but yk it be like dat sometimes when ur 5 years old

THREE MUSKETEERS IS THE MOST HYPED I EVER WAS TO WATCH A MOVIE i lived in a small town in the middle of nowhere when it came out and had no means of watching it but i aTE the promo materials i got the step into reading books i daydreamed about it cONSTANTLY till one day we finally went to a family friends house who had the dvd and (they warned my sis there might be some scary scenes with the villain) my mom actually caught my reaction on camera im sure ive posted this here before but its so iconic pls

I need to add that these were both part of group photos and i was the only one Not looking at the camera pls

Mermaid tale 1 and 2 were both kinda meh for me i def enjoyed the first one more but it doesnt stand out in my memory as something id really want to rewatch so yk theyre there i watched em :p

I had the fashion fairytale book for ages before i got around to watching the movie and it was? Ok? I guess? I didn't love the modern day premise or the whole subplot with ken and the animation style was pretty jarring so overall kind of a mid movie and book for me :p

A FAIRY SECRET HAD THE BEST BARBIE/RAQUELLE RECONCILIATION ARC LIKE I DONT REMEMBER JACK ABT THE REST OF THE MOVIE EXCEPT THE MEMORY WIPE WHICH PISSED ME OFF BUT THE BARBIE AND RAQUELLE BONDING kept this one higher than fashion fairytale im still obsessed with them upgrading thru the power of friendship and man i really gotta rewatch this one also i did have a stickerbook of it but barbie looked ugly as sht on the cover which made me sad </3

Princess charm school wasnt one i expected to enjoy so much i think the appeal of the custom uniforms got to me and i just had to watch and ykw it was a fun movie with an enjoyable plot twist and nice antagonist redemption arc i love delancy so much man i actually got a doll of her from my friend one birthday and then swapped her back a few days later for 6 smarties snack packs (we all have our regrets amirite :"3) but i would brush her hair every night before bed and mm yeah i like this movie a lot lol it has its cringy bits but i always rewatch and look back on it fondly

I. Watched princess and the popstar. Before princess and the pauper. Im a terrible barbie heathen i know but i did sort of enjoy it quite a bit and i liked To Be a Princess cause id never heard the superiority of the original and yeahhh i wouldnt rewatch it but its a Thing :"3

SPEAKING OF PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD AND FOR WHAT like ok anneliese is kind of in a privileged situation and to compare that to poverty is eH BUT PREMINGER AND THE PLOTS AND THE SONGS AND EVERYTHING IS JUST SO PEAK I WISH I GREW UP WITH THIS BUT AT LEAST IVE SEEN IT THREE TIMES NOW and plan to watch again in the future

I dont think ive ever liked the pets in barbie movies and i know bibble from fairytopia is a basebreaking character some ppl adore him some people want him dead im kinda just there lol 😭

#allya squawks #allya answers #barbae #this was kind of all over the place but eh #i miss delancy ueueue #THANK U FOR ASKING API MWAH #this was my childhoodddd #esp 12dp kickstarted my massive imagination world i think

[smallbirdbigcoat]

thank you so much for sharing omg 🍻 lost in a supermarket has always been my favorite clash song for exactly those reasons: catchy (that bassline!!), & its deft commentary on suburbia & consumerism. & love will tear us apart is one of my all time favorite songs ever too!! its just so !!!! holy shit yknow? its phenomenal. ive been really digging i aint the one by lynyrd skynyrd, the groove of it is tighttttt & it makes me wanna move. layla by derek & the dominoes ive been listening 2 on repeat cuz i felt that the song had the atmosphere i wanted 2 have in a story i was writing & i used a line of it in that story. not sure i got it but i’m quite proud of the story. cherry bomb by the runaways cuz i keep having 2 hype myself up 4 things hahah it just makes me feel so cool & untouchable. the suggestion of aggressive and the rawness of the song just rlly speak 2 me right now. & it sound really good on max volume highly embarrassing but cliff’s bus was an inside job by pc deathsquad … some of the lyrics are quite problematic i’ll be honest (“gayer than kirks lisp” ??? not cool bro) but the song is fast kind of funny in a very rancid 12 year old kind of way. but i dig it i’ve listened 2 it about 80 times in the last month haha. lastly im gonna go with heroin by the velvet underground and nico, i love the tense atmosphere it has and the use of drone & feedback & noise. its one of my all time favorites i think its so so cool & such a unique song today my question is brought to you by my binge watching of the x-files: do you believe in aliens, ghosts, etc? or have any spooky stories? -❄️

screaming along to cherry bomb is such a good way of hyping yourself up its such a powerful song! also heroin (and tbh the entire album) is like so good and so noisy i love it easily one of my favourites.

i believe that the universe is so big theres no way we are the only life out there (and tbh not to get too existential but the idea that we might be alone in the universe is rly scary to me) so i do think that aliens exist somewhere, but i personally dont think they have ever come to earth. stories abt it interest me tho, and i do love sci fi a lot, doctor who is one of my favourite tv shows ever.

as for ghosts, im really not sure. the idea is rly fun to me, and i do get spooked when i watch things like buzzfeed unsolved and theres like the tiniest knock or something but ive never seen any evidence or had any experience that has made me definitively believe they are real.

i don't have any spooky stories unfortunately :(( i did a seance once at a sleepover, but nothing rly happened except we all sat in a circle around some candles holding hands until one of my friends got too freaked out and made us stop.

do you have any spooky stories?

#srs22

[tobesobri]

all of the ppl hating on u for ur RIGHT TAKE. ok… so this is like the whole reason i don’t call myself a “harrie”. i’ve never cared abt who harry dates or his relationships because THEY ARE NONE OF MY BUSINESS. just like u wouldn’t want someone shitting on your s/o with every move they make. i’ve been around since x factor days, i remember watching the auditions come out and have been following ever since. every. single. relationship. harry’s partner is ALWAYS ridiculed just for being close to him. and don’t lie to yourselves and think u never noticed. ur not a 12 year old imagining u and harry are together anymore. seriously, take a step back and just imagine that ur partner was treated the way all his partners have been treated. that is shit. no one deserves death threats and judgement for being a single mom. it is so easy to ignore her if u don’t like her than to send her hate. yes, i (personally) don’t like some of the things she’s said/done in the past and some of the things she’s said recently i don’t particularly care for. but i’m not taking time out of my day to shit on her. i KNOW that the same ppl sending her hate and shit are the same ones that struggle with mental illness and know exactly what it’s like to want to end everything. i have been in at that place so many times in my life, i know how that feels, so why would i or u EVER want to inflict even the notion of that on someone else. if u wouldn’t do that shit to someone on the street, face to face, why would u ever do it to a stranger online? when something comes out abt her, i move on with my life because not everything revolves around their relationship. it is NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. when u take away the fame, they. are. fucking. people. u would never do that shit to a family member or ur neighbor, so everyone needs to grow up. they are delusional if they think harry would EVER like them or even want to be friends with them if he knew how toxic they are.

yes exactly like they do this to every single person he's been in a relationship with. they dig things up and never let go of it and use those things as validators to send hateful shit. like i've said, no one is forcing anyone to like certain people and i myself am indifferent about her but coming online and spreading a whole ass hate campaign out of jealousy is just crazy! no other celeb fanbase does that. literally ruining his reputation by bashing/spreading lies about dwd all bc they dont like her.

i have an irl friend who has been through some shit with her family accusing her of cheating and then more recently her extended family calling her a bad mom and it's just so fucked up when you don't even know what's going on with them and are just making outside judgments based on what you think is real and insisting your beliefs are fact like it genuinely blows my mind.

but anyway yeah like they talk all this shit and then go on to fantasize about harry and what not like?? he's never gonna be with you or like you or even know you exist please get over it already.

[iremelwrites]

II. Alois is a lot smarter than most people consider him to be

Part 1

I don’t see it often now (bc everyone forgot abt Kuro 2 lol) but back in the day, there were a lot of Alois haters and a repeating theme in their explanations was that he was “too stupid to be an earl”. Aside from the classism which I’ll detalize later, this statement is obviously not true. He’s extremely street smart at the very least. At a young age he learns how to survive himself and keep his brother alive, and he almost succeeds in that (the contract between Hannah and Luka wasn’t something he could control). We see him next at age 11-12 which means that he spent several years on the streets living alone. Judging from his demeanor when he just arrived at the Trancy mansion (apathetic, closed off, and cold), he lived all those years in physical survival mode. Fearing for your life constantly causes a person to disregard their existing emotional trauma but it still festers in the subconscious.

The “too stupid to be an earl” argument also loses its relevancy when considering how Alois managed to go from being a captive of the old earl that the latter despised from the start to getting deemed that man’s long lost son. Back in the 2010s some people in the fandom were calling Alois a whore because he apparently “smiled while being presented to the earl, meaning he enjoyed it”. Thankfully this isn’t a point of view I encountered often because besides the blatant pedophilia (keep in mind that he was 11-12 at the time), the time Alois spent as the old earl’s captive was an incredibly mentally deteriorating experience. He saw a chance to get out of poverty and escape potential death and took it, despite the taxing cost. It wasn’t like he went willingly, it was just the most logical (and honestly brave) thing to do given the circumstances.

Now, how this influenced him in his later years. Child survivors of sexual abuse may exhibit the following trauma reactions:

Angry outbursts

Anxiety

Depression

Not wanting to be left alone with a particular individual(s)

Sexual knowledge, language, and/or behaviors that are inappropriate for the child’s age

The first four are pretty self-explanatory but I want to analyze the last one in a bit more detail. Over the course of the entire second season we see Alois display behavior that can be considered as inappropriate, especially for a 14-year old earl in Victorian England. Everything – from his outfits to his behavior towards those around him is often seen as comic relief and yet another reason to slutshame this kid. I find it peculiar that Alois commences these actions whenever he’s actively pursuing a goal, like with getting Arnold Trancy to stop suspecting him, making Ciel leave the costume party unexpectedly, many occasions of this with Claude, etc. He's doing this mechanically: acting like that is how he escaped poverty, how he managed to persuade the old earl to give him a noble status, and I’m assuming it influences those around him because they’re so stunned by the unconventionality of it. I don’t think Alois was ever taught about how society standartly views sex and sexual behavior so his perception of it is formed solely by his trauma.

That brings me to another point which I’ll also elaborate in the classism chapter of this literal manifesto. For the duration of the season Alois was often referred to as “dirty” on several instances by those around him, from Sebatian and Ciel to random people. This point isn’t really an analysis thing in this chapter, we don’t see how this affects Alois on a deep level besides getting (rightfully) offended. I just thought it was kind of fucked up to insult a child who went through severe abuse, including sexual, and have that abuse define him in society. The old earl should be the brunt of society’s critique, not his traumatized victim.

Alois’s relationship with Claude, from a psychological standpoint, isn’t really that complicated. Here’s what an article by a therapy clinic says about how childhood abandonment trauma manifests in survivors later in life:

“Abandonment trauma leads to unhealthy relationships because the trauma survivor might become dependent on the other person for validation and love. As such, they will fear rejection or abandonment. The person suffering might not know why they are clinging to their partner, especially when the relationship is unhealthy or abusive.”

Claude saved him from the old earl and played a crucial role in creating Alois as a noble. His mind associates Claude with the freedom he received. The demon was the first being to approach Alois with no intention of harming him (not without a carrot before the stick, at least), and love-starved Alois saw him as salvation and a cure for all of his pain. If Claude made an effort to actually help his master psychologically, then maybe the entire story wouldn't be so grim, but Claude’s specific goal was the opposite. He deliberately destabilized Alois’s mental state so that “his soul would taste better”. Of course, Claude never hid what his intentions were, but from an ethical standpoint, it wasn’t a morally correct approach.

Alois knew all this, and I think he even accepted it, despite not wanting to. He gives off the impression of someone who’s aware of many things, but doesn’t show that outwardly. A compelling part of his character is that while he’s generally easygoing and sociable, and sometimes overshares to those around him, a lot of his deep feelings remain inside his head only, either because he isn’t aware of them consciously himself, or because he just doesn’t vocalize what he truly believes in (like the “they’re all just damn demons” sentiment he has about his servants on a few occasions, or the butterfly monologue in the OVA).

In terms of Jungian typology, he absolutely exhibits the traits of someone who uses extroverted sensing. You can read about the characteristic traits of it here, but I want to point out that individuals who use this cognitive function have a very “grounding” vibe in the sense that they live in the present and tend to tackle problems as soon as they arise, without mulling over them beforehand. This makes them very adaptive and easygoing people. IMO, the best example of this function in Alois is the beginning of his duel with Ciel. The latter puts all of his teenage noble pride into the entire duration of the duel. Ciel is giving it his all but with a stick-up-the-ass atmosphere to it. Alois, on the other hand, despite never having dueled before, just goes along with it casually, and manages to considerably hold his own before spiraling (remember the emotional hijacking thing? yeah…)

Alois seems like a very curious child. People who use extroverted sensing are often called “explorers” because they want to experience so much of the world. This definitely manifests in Alois: he expresses a wish to travel the world when talking with Sebastian disguised as a traveler, then shows interest when the man tells him about a mystery in the Trancy mansion. The duel with Ciel is also a good example of this, since Alois literally just improvised a challenging task that he was never taught how to do.

Another point of Alois’s intelligence is how he had to “make” himself into a noble within just a few years while those around him were brought up in that environment. We can see that he’s able to read and write, which is extremely impressive considering the fact that he was most likely illiterate until the age of 13. He has super nice handwriting too. Yes, Claude tutored him, but he wouldn’t have been able to grasp information, no matter how well explained, if he wasn’t smart himself. This also goes for learning aristocratic etiquette and other things he would’ve had to know as an earl. That brings me to my next point in his character analysis.

Part 3

#alois trancy #black butler #kuroshitsuji #black butler 2 #kuroshitsuji 2 #black butler analysis #black butler headcanons #kuroshitsuji headcanons #alois trancy headcanons

[nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice]

I think my favorite thing abt Zuko is how hard it is to actually hate him once you get to know him. Like idk but he's just trying to hard and he's so soft and you look at him and think "baby 🥺" and that's that. Even when he was the enemy i never really hated him bc like, he never really did anything too bad like?? He didn't burn down the SWT village, and yeah he hit Sokka but not hard bc he got up right after. So idk but he's soft bby and hard to hate and i love that.

Okay I love Zuko as much as anyone but like .... he did some true asshole stuff in this series. Like homeboy burned Kyoshi village 

kidnapped Katara and held her hostage to kidnap Aang 

paralyzed Katara and Sokka with the shirshu 

kidnapped Aang in the North Pole when he was in the spirit world, leaving the oasis temporarily defenseless (indirectly allowing Zhao a window to get in and kill the moon spirit) 

while he was usually ethical with his Blue Spirit crimes, I’m gonna say stealing from these two was a dick move 

ya know....Ba Sing Se

and then the whole Sent An Assassin After Them thing.....explicitly hiring someone to murder a 12-year-old 

Zuko is a lot of things, but “baby” he is not. 

Deep down, yeah he is soft, but for the majority of the show he wasn’t. We saw that he cared, that he was hurting, and we understood that all his actions stemmed from just wanting to please the father that hurt him, but he wasn’t a soft baby by any means. His anger stemmed from an understandable place, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t take it out on everyone around him (especially Iroh in season 1). He was selfish. That doesn’t mean he was a bad person, but recognizing that he did awful things and understanding that he hurt people honestly makes his character better because it makes his redemption arc all the more powerful.  

The reason why we appreciate Zuko as a character so much is because how much he changes. It’s because he does break from the mentality he was stuck in thinking his value rested in Ozai’s approval, his recognition of the suffering of others not just under his nation’s actions, but because of his actions, and the lengths he went to earn forgiveness. 

That’s why his redemption arc works, though. He did do awful things. He did hurt people without caring. He was selfish. He was rude. Just because he was acting that way because of his trauma doesn’t negate the severity of the things he did. 

But he did make up for it. He came to regret all of his actions and did the work to make amends. Not only by internally recognizing that he was wrong and saying he was sorry, but actively making efforts to repair some of the damage at every step. 

And the reason we do sympathize and root for him is mostly because of his motivations in comparison to other characters, namely Zhao, Azula, and Ozai. (And because he loses, a lot.) There’s a post that explains it better, but Zuko’s motivations were completely rooted in his own self-interests, ultimately rooted in just wanting to appease Ozai. And that we can understand. We can’t really sympathize with Zhao, Long Feng, or Ozai because their motivations are political-- they want to exploit people and systems for their own glory and power. They aren’t seeking acceptance or validation like Zuko, they’re seeking control and domination over those who don’t have power. 

But it’s easier to root for Zuko, not because we want him to succeed, but because we want him to change sides. We don’t want him to capture Aang because doing so would validate Ozai, who is objectively awful. We don’t want him to win against the gaang because that’s who we’re rooting for. What we want for him is to change because unlike other villains on the show, he isn’t swept up by an ideology and hasn’t let power go to his head. 

And part of that is us wanting for him to change how he acts towards others. In season 1 he’s explicitly rude to Iroh multiple times. He was an asshole to everyone because he was taking out his hurt feelings on the people around him.

The reason we’re rooting for him to change isn’t that he was a sweet person or because he was “soft.” It was because he was the underdog. 

Those feelings of crushing failure, inadequacy...that’s relatable. It’s certainly more relatable than other villains doing selfish things and hurting people without caring to gain power or to perpetuate imperialism. Those are feelings people can relate to and that makes us want him to overcome those feelings. We want him to realize that his father was wrong and terrible to him and that capturing Aang isn’t the answer. 

We could relate to Zuko even in season 1 because his arc was about the realization of his own self-worth. It was about a kid learning that no one deserves cruelty, even him. That’s something he always knew, but didn’t internalize and apply to the world and himself until he witnessed how the Fire Nation affected the people of the Earth Kingdom. 

From season 1, we know that it was cruel and wrong and hope that maybe Zuko will realize it too. Because no one--  no one earns cruelty. 

And his actions stemming from his hurt doesn’t mean they didn’t hurt others. He did a lot of awful things in this show. His betrayal of Iroh, him putting his own goals in front of people who needed the Avatar to win the war for them, and putting others in danger for his own goals. Zuko hurt a lot of people but he arguably did the work to fix his mistakes. He helped restore the world his family destroyed and made personal amends with the specific people he hurt, Iroh most importantly. He put his life on the line several times, stood up to his father, and protected the gaang from the people he once stood alongside to hurt them (Combustion Man, Azula). We saw his remorse and it wasn’t rooted in being mad at his father, it was upon gaining perspective on the world and realizing how that also applied to him, both in the recognition of the harm he did and the steps he had to take to make amends and the fac that he didn’t deserve the abuse his father delt him. 

We wanted Zuko to break out of his mentality from season 1 not only because we wanted the gaang to succeed, but because we knew that his selfish actions stemmed from hurt and a lack of perspective on the world, both things he comes to understand throughout the series. He’s not Zhao, wanting glory or military ranking for capturing Aang. He’s not Long Feng, wanting control over others to keep his position of power. He’s not Azula, who was successful in a way he never was. And he’s not Ozai, perpetuating suffering because he believes himself to be that important. He’s a kid who was told he wasn’t good enough and was willing to do anything to appease the people who told him that, even if that meant hurting other people. 

We root for him because he really just a kid who wants to not feel like a failure and honestly? That’s one of the most relatable motivations I can think of. 

#tldr #zuko was kind of a dick #but his motivations were inherently different from other villains and stemmed from a relatable place #which is why we root for him not to suceed but to change #he did send an assassin after a 12 year old so I will not be calling him a soft baby by any means #zuko #atla #avatar the last airbender #hot leaf meta #iroh #his unroyal majesty bitchlord ozai #zhao #long feng #aang #katara #sokka