#i'll disappear for a while after this

[wiw3]

Finally Getting Something Out

Hey all; that's okay, right?

I've been trying to think of something, virtually anything, viscerally everything that I could with which to come back, but, I can't. I have a plan tomorrow to run once more headlong into the breach, old friends, that's okay to say, right?

I'm rocking back and forth as I write this, I kind-of fidget when I author anymore, it seems. In any case, let this be a testament to the fact that I'm going through a period of being scared to upload to this little pocketbook on the internet.

It's no worse than a dream journal, I don't actually believe most of these things. A lot of it is satire and drafts meant for writing practice, but in a sensually-candid moment, I need to speak truth to the fact that I feel like I've abandoned those few who've chosen to spend time with me, watching me on this platform.

I think it's simply because I don't see nearly enough people like me, maybe I'm on the wrong platform, maybe I use the wrong tags, who knows? I guess I don't really care, I think I would like to write until I find an audience, as much of a cliché as it is, I think there's a fair place for cliché in society nowadays, and so-far-out irony that it leaves mothers quietly scratching their heads saying "Um, Brittany? What've you been getting into? Who's this Doc person you've been reading so much on?" And you're forced to have the awkward conversation explaining that I'm just some loser on the same wavelength as you and reading my stuff makes you feel better.

The point is that if you just kind-of surf in the murk here, I'd appreciate a tender little like every once in a while, a follow if you really like what I do. You don't know how much it means and how much it would motivate me to keep hitting this wall with more creative ideas. I think that's okay to say. I've kind-of been falling apart lately as I've struggled to wonder what's okay to put into written form, just trying to follow every rule, not hurt anyone's feelings, but lately it seems impossible, I'm just glad to have written something, at long last. That's okay to talk about, right?

Anyhoot, I'm going to be heading my large personage to bed, on this weekend night in Southwest Florida where the snow never comes, but the feels always do. I think we can talk about that.

I've been Doc, sorry for the long, overly-formal verbal signoff, Merry Happy, this year. I'm tired and blackout, and I love you all. I think that should be okay.

And it's okay for you to be here, too.

#writing #be gone #sorry #i'll disappear for a while after this #forgive the tags #sounds like there are monsters outside #christmas #hannukah #whatever you say #love to all #and to all a merry happy #so tired #eyes glazed over #sorry for the rant #i think that's okay #all good #my bad #healthy #coping #finally writing #finally writing again

[mattodore]

guy whose childhood drags behind him like a dead body

#river dipping #simblr #ts4 #ts4 edit #theodore doe #echthroi #i forgot to post this after sharing theo's birthday edit last night... listen i was so tired i just hit post and passed out #but so far today i've just been looking through character page themes for a bit and messing around with codes while watching dropout tv #i still need to get to my activity feed sometime today or tomorrow and then i want to set aside some time to just hang out on here #and catch up on things like i keep disappearing and missing out on posts jgkhjfnkh so i gotta do that... #but i'm actually fighting off the world's biggest nap rn..... my meds work really well but lord i'm still so tired all the time woof #so i'll probably end up caving soon lmao #but!!! anyway!! THEO!!! there was nothing i could do abt the proportions on theo as a kid like i couldn't make his head any smaller... #the sims team actually hate me so bad and are trying to force the huge cartoonishly big heads onto my sims </3 #also when i aged him down to a kid like all of his presets were gone so i just had to try and replicate them to the best of my abilities #his lip preset actually has a much deeper cupid's bow but thanks to the liquify tool <33333 it looks like his regular preset #i've actually posted teen theo on here before but i've made a ton of changes to him since then so this version is pretty different compared #to the older version of him at sixteen #he's definitely got more baby fat than he did before like his cheeks are pretty round #um. also i have these closeups i took of adult theo from the pose i made for his birthday edit that i gotta edit a lil and then post!!! #bc you really didn't get to see his expression or the actual pose that well and EYEEEE personally am really in love with the details #of the pose itself like ugh.......... theo is so.......................... yeah. #holds him

[midnight-in-town]

If Twilights’s dad is a spy Then is he working for Westalis or Ostania?

Hey Anon and sorry for the delay! :3

Hmm, first of all, I don’t think his allegiance would be what matters the most, when in case this plot twist happens.

To recap a bit on the theory that Twilight's dad is still alive and a spy (first draft here), I think that, narratively speaking, the interest lies in:

Twilight's entire childhood, nay, life was based on a lie

A lie he's currently exactly reproducing by pretending to be Anya's dad (except that, unlike him, Anya knows her dad's a spy on a mission), which is why it'll need to be addressed by the plot eventually.

Additionally, and considering that this trauma from his childhood turned him into everything he didn’t want to be, I'd say facing this terrible truth (for once) is how he's going to come to the realization that he can't do to Yor and Anya what his dad did to him and his mom.

Otherwise, you know, "he's really just like his dad", a dad who possibly caused a terrorist attack or, at the very least, who took advantage of one to leave his wife and kid behind.

All "for his mission".

Twilight being recruited as a spy might be related to WISE knowing his dad is a spy

In that case, if his dad is also a spy working for Westalis, then WISE recruited Twilight because they bet he shares the same skills as his dad.

However, if his dad is a spy working for Ostania, then WISE recruited him for the same reason, except it was to use him as possible leverage/weapon against his own dad.

Either way, if WISE knew about Twilight's dad being a spy, then WISE will be held accountable for manipulating Twilight with lies. So I think, by the end of the story, Twilight will also come to realize this truth, because it's the only way to untangle the web of lies that now represents his life.

Also, Twilight realizing that WISE used him from the start would match with Yor being indoctrinated since childhood by the organization she also currently sides with.

And, while I have no doubt that eventually their family will prevail over old allegiances, I believe it will only be possible if both Twilight and Yor face the truth that they were totally used as pawns by the organizations they believed in, in order to free themselves from them.

To finally answer your question (sorry for rambling): thematically since Twilight is Westalis' "greatest spy/asset", tbh it's likely that his dad is the Ostanian equivalent.

As for who he is, I'd say someone currently working for the SSS, which is how Twilight risks being discovered by them (if Garden doesn't sell him out first, for being Yor's fishy husband being interested in Donovan Desmond).

And considering the fact he must be an older man, with a light hair color, visible cheek bones and a slim nose, well, we don't have a lot of possible suspects in the cast...

Especially since, interestingly, the job of Yuri and his captain is to catch spies.

Lastly, if Yuri's captain is Twilight's spy dad, then he must have gotten that scar after leaving his wife and kid behind, say, maybe during that very same explosion/terrorist attack that happened in their hometown?

TL;DR my money is on Yuri's captain being Twilight's spy dad, because this has high comedic value, when we know how much Yuri dislikes Loid while his dad mentors him on the job. Though it's also quite ironically devastating considering that, in that case, Twilight literally impersonated his dad in ch14 when investigating Yor...

...implying he's slowly becoming exactly like his dad, a man he will despise once he finds out the truth. ://

Sorry for rambling, I hope it answers your question ! Have a good day ahead, Anon.

#spy x family #loid forger #yor forger #anya forger #yuri briar #twilight #garden #wise #sxf theory #anon #answers #my analysis #u want to know how i think the last arc will go well i'll tell u in the tags #imo Twilight gets discovered by the SSS after Garden realizes the truth about him but Yor who's sent after him is incapable of killing him #so he's arrested by the SSS while Garden beats up and restrains Yor for disobeying and that's when his dad reveals himself to him #having lost all will to live upon realizing his whole life was a lie from the start he's about to be shot to death by the SSS #but Yuri realizing that Yor has disappeared impersonates a SSS agent to save him then saying he can die after he helps Yuri finds Yor #Twilight realizing he doesn't want to be the same crap as his dad decides to go find and help Yor and Anya #meanwhile Anya was recovered by projet apple being funded by Donovan and her powers are used to plan a massive terrorist attack @ Westalis #Franky or Handler or Nightfall (or Henderson or Martha?) find out about Anya's fate but they get arrested by Garden which is where Yor is #Yor breaks free from Garden upon realizing that Anya's a little girl who's always been alone against the world and who needs her protection #somehow Damian will try to help Anya escape his dad's plan helped by Bond but fail & that's when Twilight and Yor will show up to save her #HAPPY ENDING AFTERWARDS (“we're the Forgers :)”) OK SENSEI?

[mokeonn]

So I heard that Tumblr is slowly being abandoned (they seem to be laying off a majority of their staff and keeping a skeleton crew) and we might be nearing the end of this webbed site. I don't think it's currently worth panicking over, but I'm definitely going to start making that neocities website.

I'll make a post soon about other places where you can find me. Unfortunately, I've spent quite some time these last couple years getting rid of a majority of my social media because most platforms were bad for my mental health. I do not plan on going back to these platforms, so if tumblr goes down, I'm going to be only on non social media.

Maybe if one of the new social medias being created, actually take off (like bluesky or pillowfort or whatever else these days) I might join, but if not I might be entirely on personal websites, patreon (I will start posting regularly like a blog and make more free posts), some old websites I deleted but not because I hated them (such as ko-fi, which I deleted due to inactivity) and possibly furaffinity. I'm still on the fence about furaffinity. I might also finally start using my toyhouse but that is an oc sharing website and not much of an art sharing website.

I really do hope Tumblr doesn't go down, this is my one social media and if it does go down I am going to lose nearly all of my audience. I can make do by creating a personal blog and using whatever I have left in terms of "can post my art there and people can find me", and it won't discourage me from making my personal projects. I can make do, and I will make do, but I don't really want to make do.

Anyways, that's all I have to say right now, I'll make a post later once I set up some alternative sites to find me at, but for now I want to give the heads up that if I'm gone, you're not gonna find me on twitter, Instagram, or whatever third option there is. I'm likely going to just make do, be offline more, and likely just become active on the discord servers I'm on.

#simon says #long post #i think #it looks long on mobile #anyways there it is #I'm gonna have to start learning html #im also really sad that i hate making videos so much because I probably would just go on youtube #but I know from experience that I am not becoming a youtuber entirely because I fucking hate making videos that much #i get tempted quite often to become a nice little art youtuber or go into a niche art video subcategory #personally fight against the things I hate about youtube by not doing those things #but I just hate video making too much to do that #i do NOT like my voice enough to edit it #i might consider live streaming again since I used to live stream but also hnng nah im not sure #I prefer live streaming to video making because I hate making scripted videos and I love the live aspect of streaming #but also do I really WANT to stream again or do I just want an audience from a platform where it's very easy to build an audience? #that one is gonna be up in the air for a while tbh #streaming is currently in 'im not sure how i feel about it' limbo and it may never leave #if I do decide to start live streaming again you will hear about it on my sick ass personal blog I have to code #because I'll probably unravel those mixed feeling and come to a decision likely long after tumblr disappears lmaoooo #edit: #also I would rather eat my arm off than ever go back to tiktok so rule that one out forever

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family

#fucking hell #it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister #who was equally dreading the day #my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt #then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present) #multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way. #combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high #weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells. #this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing. #then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on. #my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence #i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum #who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?) #me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting. #Which amuses the bored and the deaf #but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed #they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes #finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism* #still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously #(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something) #me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room #and made things appear that should not be there #I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go #you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room. #i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear #I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that. #the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well #she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer #maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk. #can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important

[marymekpop]

⟢ scenes & themes: crash course in romance - hand in hand [1/4] ⟣

#crash course in romance #korean drama #jung kyung ho #jeon do yeon #sntccir #mmkfav #im gonna be a little annoying for the next few days or weeks potentially #i have a few more ccir posts in me to share so pls bare with me LOL #after this i'll disappear i swear #i notice a lot of things while watching this drama so i just wanted to show my love & appreciation #it also doesnt help that im getting ccir withdrawals #also im back with a new (and annoying) series #this is my warning to everyone now asdkfjd #4 more posts of ccir coming right up!! #and pls dont mind the title of this new series #i couldnt come up with anything cute or creative so this is what i settled for ksksks #snt*

[loadedmarchpdf]

@clotpolesonly said: HI, WELCOME BACK

HELLO HELLO. I am realising that I no longer quite know how to use tumblr... the change in the way replies work, namely, and how you cannot reply with sideblogs is strange to me, so I am manually doing it how we used to do it years ago haha (sort of? at least close enough?), back when we had extensions and everything (do people still use extensions now?)

Anyway, I think I remember your username!! I hope you have been well!

#clotpolesonly #replies #i will be honest sooner or later i'll get distracted by other fandoms and then disappear again haha #buuuut im thinking maybe i want to begin a reread of lm some time this year #I just realised the other day that despite having reread it multiple times while it was updating #i dont think ive reread it after the whole series was completed?

[technologyvoid]

I go

#void chatter #hmmmmm experiment take 2 #may disappear for a while #no need to worry #just testing the effects of hunger on effects of temperatures(?) I'll be fine #food after this

[2bloved]

been going through a lot, sorry for still being super inactive

hope everyone is having a good holiday, here's my sona for self insert stuff

#derek.jpeg #pokepasta oc #shintosona #i dont really even know what to tah this as my head hurts so much #pokemon #pokemon oc #obligatory 'i'll be back soon guys! heart' tag #sorry i will soon probably everythinsg just. oogh /neg right now i feel bad for like disappearing again but its not for no reason this time #hope everyone has a safe and good holiday if i dont post after this for a lil while #anyway on a brighter note the text for these drawings was made while in a call with my buddy showing me the christmas haul he got

[sisterdivinium]

.

#i'm procrastinating rewriting the last scene in the fic because i miss the show #(or rather because i'm going through mother superion withdrawal syndrome) #and so i have been deep diving in the mother superion tag #the sheer AUDACITY some people have in suggesting suzanne is straight??? why do you insult her and me like this #dni block me please and thanks #(gays i'm joking. i mean i'm not because i might block y'all het!suzanne heathens but anyway LOL) #(just to make sure: i AM joking but i also AM surprised) #(and tbqh i do not want to see it ever again ksjfhskjdfk y'all have fun just keep away) #silly blabbering #anyway my VERY LESBIAN suzanne and her equally lesbian scientist are almost ready to be unleashed on the world #last scene should be done between today and tomorrow if i'm lucky #then i'm taking a wee break because a friend is coming over for a few days #but i'll hopefully have begun typing by the end of the week after rereading again #my estimates aren't perfect but i'm guessing maybe next week or on the other this thing gets published #so fingers crossed. might disappear for a little while after that too because posting shit makes me nervous lol #but then i'll be back for some of the analysis stuff i had planned. give it some time before i start work on the second docsuperion fic #(which will be shorter)

[kyouka-supremacy]

Uhm

#I'm feeling like trash physically I really don't know what to do??? #I have been struggling so much with eating recently but I thought it was normal because of the upcoming exam y'know? #Well yesterday I took the exam and yet the problem??? Didn't magically disappear like I thought??? And now I feel so betrayed?????? #Yesterday I got takeaway at my favorite Chinese restaurant and that's a cup of noodles and eight dumplings #that's my usual order I always take‚ normally that's one meal #This time it took me?? Three meals to finish it??? Because after a while I just feel too nauseous to keep eating???????? #So like. something is wrong™ but I really have no clue what it is or how to fix it... #Plus the entire day I've felt like crying for. no reason lmao. I'm literally crying right now and I have no idea why is that #I can't reason anything that is making me upset currently? So I'm there mentally looking at myself like *awkward monkey meme* #And my head hurts. Like something is wrong but I really can't tell what it is nnnggghhhh this is. not optimal #The worst part is that I feel so nauseous I can't imagine bringing myself to cook because cooking is already a tool alone #and now I'm also supposed to cook when I don't want to eat???? Like how can I convince myself to do that #But obviously I can't stop eating. Alas I STRUGGLE. The food in the fridge is going bad 😭😭😭 #I made sure to change air in my room and I took a shower today so. I don't know what could be causing it really #Anyways if anyone can advice on eating when the thought of eating alone makes you feel nauseous I'll gratefully take it 😭😭 #Not even snacks work btw I was eating nutella and pandoro and who wouldn't love nutella and pandoro #and yet I felt like gagging the whole time... Ugh #The actual worst part is that like this I don't have the strength to study but I really need to study for this huge exam the 14th #random rambles #eating disoder trigger warning #Why is that the recommend tag?? It's missing an r bestie???? #eating disorder trigger warning #eating disorder tw #←← That makes it sound bigger than what it is please don't worry about me it's just a temporary issue!! #Using the tags just in case for blacklisting purposes

[future-crab]

Okay but what is it that MCR puts into their second verses specifically? I can’t explain how or why, but “who walks among the famous living dead, drowns all the boys and girls inside your bed? And if you could talk to me, tell me if it’s so that all the good girls go to heaven, well heaven knows that without you is how I disappear,” makes my brain vibrate at a frequency previously unknown to science.

#and so many of their 2nd verses are like this! #'at this old hotel and i can't tell if i've been breathing or sleeping or screaming or waiting for the man to call and maybe all of the abov #cause mostly i've been sprawled on these cathedral steps while spitting out the blood and screaming someone save us?' iconic #'after all is said and done climb out of the pinebox well i'm asking you cause she's got nothing to say #the angels just cut out her tongue call her black mariah would i lie to you that girl's not right in the brain?' insanity #'i'll tell you all how the story ends where the good guys die and the bad guys win who cares? #it's not about all the friends you made but the graffiti they write on your grave?' i'm chewing on the walls #mcr #my chemical romance #the black parade #this is how i disappear

[drowsydregon]

i can't wait to make my epix comeback (<<< has been sitting on like. 13 minifigure redesigns bc i still have abt. 11-13 more to do)

#my rambles #ok on a kind of related note. so i kinda disappeared from socials for a while which i think y'all have noticed #there's a lot of reasons why. some of it is relating to the. certain piece of drama i was involved in at the tail end of last year #and some of that is stuff relating to my personal life #but in short uhhh #idk when i'll be back in full swing #i would like to return to making leggo/nnjgo content at some point #i want to do a full series rewatch and fall in love with the show all over again #and get back to work on my dumb OCs and projects #but i can't guarantee when #i did have this summer booked out for travelling. and i'm thinking after my next vacation would be a good time to get back into it #but again. i can't guarantee anything #i've missed making content qwq #but ya #i hope u guys enjoy the ari midnight rambles aaaAA

[riinoaheartilly]

Uuugh. I told myself that I wouldn't get back into tumblr rp, that I've lost all interest but being the silly fool I am, I keep checking rp blogs that I used to write with and I just feel myself getting dragged back in >:(

#It would scratch that writing itch I've been having for a while #But I know that I'll end up stopping and disappearing again after like a week

[lixbf]

omg i was thinking "yeah im gonna keep rolan alive all the way until the end this time" but uh i just realized im not even sure where he is now??? like the druids attacked the tieflings bc i attacked kagha and idk where tf he is

#so like. does he like alfira just disappear to gods know where after the druids become all murderous? #shit i guess i'll just have to find out if those two made it once i get to act 2 rip #which is gonna take a While #bc i havent even done the goblin camp yet. ive barely been to the underdark nevermind grymforge or the creche #speaking of the creche i have decided to not give that lady esther the githyanki egg this time #lae'zel is probably gonna appreciate that once i get to that point lol

[candycoatedrox]

so twitter is burning down (again) might attempt to move here again. waves. hello guys

#molls rambles #let's see if i can remember this time #hey guys wanna see a magic trick #(disappears into the abyss after a week) #and that folks is called poorly managed adhd #oooh while i'm here maybe i'll post a couple art pieces that i never got around to posting here