#i'm not saying you're unlovable or beyond hope

[ughgoaway]

19 with Matty as like a comfort thing 🥺

Maybe girlie is feeling a little insecure that day

love this!! I answered this prompt earlier as a teacher au thing, but I liked the idea of girlie being insecure so I wrote it again but a little diff! hope you enjoy :)

19- character A holding character B’s hands as character B eats them out, fingers intertwined.

18+ pls!! includes female receiving oral and body insecurity/general insecurity. 1.4k-ish

✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿

You pull at your skin in the mirror, the reflection staring back at you wasn't one you recognised. Your eyes look sunken and tired, and your skin is dull when it used to be full of life.

You could stand for hours critiquing every inch of you, what part of you is too small, too big, too harsh or too soft. And you did. After every shower, you stood in front of the mirror, assessing every inch of yourself.

Matty hated it. of course, he did. You were perfect in his eyes, beyond perfect. but he couldn't stop you.

It happened like clockwork every few weeks. However, today, it seemed especially bad. The usual 10-minute assessment dragged on, becoming longer and longer with every tug and prod. He could almost hear your inner voice screaming about how you're not good enough for him and that he deserved better.

Eventually, you came to bed. Flopping on the mattress and immediately trying to burrow yourself under the blanket. but before you can, Matty grips the blanket and pulls it from your hands, forcing you to flip over and face him.

“I know what you're doing,” he says bluntly, eyeing you suspiciously.

“M’okay. I'm just tired. Long week.” you say softly, throwing matty a half-hearted smile.

You're lying. You both know that for a fact, but you pray that just this once Matty lets it go.

He doesn't, of course.

“Baby, I can see right through you. Standing in the mirror for half an hour and mumbling to yourself angrily doesn't exactly scream “im okay”” he pouts teasingly at you, and you can't help but giggle at his pufferfish face (a term you coined for that exact look early on in your relationship)

You sigh heavily before answering, “Yeah, im just - I don't even know. Feeling shitty I guess. Ugly, insecure, unloveable. You know, all the usual Friday night emotions” You try to lighten the mood with a joke, but everyone who knows you knows you joking is a sign something is really bothering you.

“You are none of those things, my love. Let me prove it to you, yeah?” Matty asks, moving to hover over your body.

You can already feel an ache between your thighs at the sight of your boyfriend above you, but you still can't shake how you're feeling.

“You don't have to, matty. I know I don't look great right now. Don't feel pressured or anything, I'm sure I'll just sleep it off.” 

“Never feel pressured with you, I just want to show you how beautiful you are to me, will you let me?” Matty looks down at you with soft eyes, and you can't pretend you don't want him between your legs for a second longer, giving him an assured nod.

“Gotta use your words for me, baby,” Matty lightly demands, dropping his mouth to your neck and pressing kisses to your skin.

“Mmm yes. Make me feel good, please,” you beg, gasping as Matty nips your neck playfully, soothing each patch of skin with his tongue.

“Thats my girl. Gonna make you feel so good, sweetheart.” Matty whispers in your ear, pulling back with a Cheshire-cat-like grin that has you blushing.

You try to turn away from him, the weight of his eye contact feeling like too much. But Matty places a hand on your jaw, dragging your face back to his and connecting your eyes once more.

Matty holds eye contact as he drops between your thighs, peppering them with kisses and hushed compliments as he moves to where you need him most. His fingers fall between your legs, parting your thighs and spreading you open for him.

“so pretty” he whispers, pressing a chaste kiss to your clit that rips a gasp from your chest. you can already feel your nerves thrumming with desire.

“Please Matty just- I can't take any teasing, please,” you beg, closing your eyes and trying to catch your breath.

“Anything you want, princess, take my hand, yeah?” Matty’s hand moves from between your legs up to grab your own, lightly gripping your hand to ground you and remind you that he wants you. He wants to make you feel good.

You smile softly down at him, looking into his eyes and memorising the exact way he looks right now, to live in your head for as long as it can.

With his hand in yours, he starts mouthing your cunt, moaning and licking your slick like he's devouring a sweet peach, juices running down his chin as he consumes you.

He’s practically making out with your cunt, burrowing himself between your legs and doing everything he can to make you feel good. Every few minutes you can feel a mumbled complement vibrate against you.

“Tastes so good angel.”

“So beautiful for me.”

“Good girl.”

Every vibration of his words against you pulls you closer to the edge. You can feel your skin growing pinker as matty continues between your thighs, a thin sheen of sweat covering your body. Matty is grinding against the mattress below him at the sight of you, but you're too lost in the haze to notice anything right now.

You roll your hips needily against Matty's face, and he immediately understands your silent pleading, moving faster against you and making the fire inside you grow even brighter.

Matty flicks his eyes up to you as he works his mouth over you, slick covering his cheeks as slips a finger inside you, smirking at the broken moan that falls from your lips. Every time his nose brushes your clit you feel a bolt of lightning strike you, your pulse quickens with every touch.

the tension in your gut is growing, and you squeeze mattys hand to warn him, whimpering “close” as best you can between the needy moans and whines.

Matty pulls away briefly, “Cum whenever you need to princess, so good for me.” As soon as he finishes he's diving back between your thighs with a new fervour, fucking you with his tongue and purposefully using his nose to stimulate your clit.

The mix of his tongue and his finger burrowed inside you is dizzying. The air is thickening around you with each passing second, and the only noises filling the room are a mix of your lewd groans and the sticky noises of matty worshipping you.

The neverending streams of compliments and his unrelenting pace against you soon push you to breaking point, coming undone with a whimpered “thank you” and shaking thighs.

Your legs grip around mattys head like a vice, keeping him buried between your legs. And he honestly couldn't be happier with that arrangement, squeezing your hand as you cum to remind you why he's doing this, to remind you how absolutely obsessed he is with every part of you.

Eventually, your legs loosen as the aftershocks stop rattling through your body. The goosebumps over your skin begin to fade, and you start falling back to earth.

Matty quickly moves from between your legs, hovering over you before leaning forward and desperately kissing you, pressing his tongue into your mouth so you can taste yourself. You groan at the taste, moving your hands to grip Matty's hair, grabbing his curls and pulling him closer against you.

You only break apart when your need for oxygen demands it, Matty panting above you with an overjoyed smile on his face. You smirk back at him, planning to repay him in the best way you know how.

But as you move your hand to grip his boxers, you feel the distinct lack of a boner and the presence of a damp spot sitting on the front of them. Your eyes flick down and study the dark grey patch on his underwear. You scrunch your face in confusion for a few seconds until it dawns on you.

He came. Untouched. Just from eating you out.

Matty sees the realisation on your face and groans, dropping down and burrowing his face in your neck. You can feel his cheeks growing hot as you giggle at his reaction, matty brings his mouth up to your cheek, pressing a kiss to it before he speaks.

“You're just really hot when you cum, im kind of obsessed with it. and you.” he whispers, pulling back to look at you with a cheesy grin. His eyes trace over your face, memorising every aspect of how you look.

Even if one day you become a stranger, if this all ends, he wants to remember exactly how you look right now.

He wants to remember the flush on your cheeks, the way the tip of your nose scrunches when you giggle, and the distinct glow of love in your eyes. 

“Love you,” you whisper, leaning forward until you are a few centimetres from Matty's lips.

“I love you too” he whispers back, surging forward and catching your lips in a kiss he hopes conveys every bit of love that his words couldn't.

#sappy shit #i love me some lovey dovey smut #the filthy stuff is fun too tho hehehe #but yes they are very in love!!! #(idk about this... sorry if it disappoints anon </3) #anon! #matty healy smut

[rottenpumpkin13]

Personal hc of mine is that the worse thing you could do to Genesis (as like, a friend) is give him the silent treatment

*Genesis smugly strides up to Sephiroth in the SOLDIER cafeteria after an argument*

Genesis: Well, I see you're here too.

Sephiroth:

Genesis: I must say, it's mighty bold of you to show your face in the same place I am after insulting me with such abysmal takes.

Sephiroth:

Genesis: Hm. I see how it is. The silent treatment. A classic.

Sephiroth:

Genesis: Never would I have thought the great Sephiroth would stoop so low as to use such a childish tactic.

Sephiroth:

Genesis: I hope you realize that this further proves how childish you are.

Sephiroth:

Genesis:

Sephiroth:

Genesis: Are you done?

Sephiroth:

Genesis: Sephiroth.

Sephiroth:

Genesis: Fine! I admit I may have been a bit of an asshole, but it's me, right? What do you honestly expect? *laughs nervously*

Sephiroth:

Genesis: Get it? Because I'm always an arrogant egomaniac *laughs nervously*

Sephiroth:

Genesis: And I'm always.... looking for reasons to argue. Especially with you.

Sephiroth:

Genesis: Because I admire you immensely....

Sephiroth:

Genesis: And having you contradict any unethical opinion I have brings me joy beyond words.

Sephiroth:

Genesis, tearing up: Even though I am a bit too much sometimes.

Sephiroth:

Genesis: But it's not like truly I mean to to insult you.

Sephiroth:

Genesis: You're my best friend. I could never live with myself I knew that I hurt you.

Sephiroth:

Genesis: FINE! FINE! YOU WIN! HAPPY? I WAS WRONG! I'M ALWAYS WRONG! AND I'M ALWAYS A BITCH AND ACT LIKE I'M ABOVE EVERYONE BECAUSE I'M DEEPLY INSECURE AND CAN'T BEAR THE THOUGHT OF BEING UNLOVED! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR?

Sephiroth:

Genesis: THAT I'M A DEEPLY BROKEN INDIVIDUAL IN NEED OF CONSTANT REASSURANCE LEST I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE THAT IM NOTHING SPECIAL!? THAT IT WASN'T ENOUGH TO BE ADEPT IN ARTS AND SCIENCE? THAT I HAD TO STAY UP MOONLIGHT AFTER MOONLIGHT IN THAT TRAINING ROOM PRACTICING AFTER EVERYONE WENT TO BED SO THAT I COULD HOPE TO BE EVEN A FRACTION OF WHAT YOU ARE!? THAT IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH!?

Sephiroth:

Genesis: THAT INSTEAD OF BEING KNOWN AS A HERO I'M THE FUNNY ONE? THE ONE WHO NEVER SHUTS UP? HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT MAYBE THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT GETS ANYONE TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME? THAT STRIVING TO BE ATTRACTIVE, TO BE TALENTED, TO BE INTERESTING IS ROOTED IN MY CHILDHOOD NEED TO PLEASE MY PARENTS AFTER FINDING OUT I WAS ADOPTED???

Sephiroth:

Genesis: YOU'RE RIGHT! YOU WIN! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I GIVE UP! BE MAD AT ME! I DESERVE IT!

Sephiroth:

*Genesis walks away in tears*

*Sephiroth removes his wireless earbuds*

Sephiroth: Genesis? Huh, that's odd. I thought I heard his voice.

#ffvii #ff7 #final fantasy 7 #sephiroth #genesis rhapsodos #ffvii crisis core #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 crisis core #final fantasy vii crisis core #crisis core final fantasy vii reunion #incorrect final fantasy

[pastelsapphy]

A thought crossed my mind: between MC and Saeyoung, who proposes first? (I know SE 2.07 talks about Saeyoung proposing, but bear with me). I think if asked, they might say that, technically, it was Vanderwood.

Saeyoung probably isn't quite as confident as he seems. So MC bites the bullet the next time they get to rest. Curled up against each other in the dark of night, with no one and nothing but each other.

"So... they called me Saeran's sister-in-law, hm?"

And they feel Saeyoung tense up beside them. If any one trait describes Saeyoung, it's fear. He has always been afraid--of his mother, his father, the agency boss, of all the people he's pissed off coming for his head. He was afraid of anything bad happening to Saeran (seeing your worst fears come to life right before your eyes does wonders for anxiety, doesn't it?), of anything he's done coming back to hurt those he cares about.

He had been afraid of his friends seeing beyond the 707 mask, of them ever seeing the real him, because surely they would hate him. The real him was not someone to be loved. The real him was not someone to keep around. 707 could have friends (for a while), even Luciel could have friends (temporary as they were). But he had tried to bury Saeyoung, the scared little boy who was unloved by everyone except his other half.

But MC came along and held out a hand. With their help, Saeyoung dared to pull himself from his grave. They pushed through the masks that were 707 and Luciel to unearth Saeyoung, still lost and scared and desperate to protect everyone.

The thing is, those fears don't go away overnight--if they ever do. He knows MC says they love him, that they're in this for the long haul, but he's still half convinced he's going to wake up and find himself still at his desk, an imprint of his keyboard stamped into his face and nothing beside him but empty bags of chips.

So he falls back on his default defense mechanism: laugh it off. But the chuckle he forces out is strained, even to his ears. "Ah, yeah. Ha ha... sorry if that, uh, made you uncomfortable or anything."

MC just hums. Saeyoung feels the vibrations where their face is tucked against his neck. "What about you?"

Their breath is hot on his neck and god, he already can't think when he's around them. Yes, his brain screams. I love it. I want you to be his sister-in-law. I want you to be my spouse, my partner. I want to be your husband. I want it, I want it, I want it.

But, as he has always been, Saeyoung is afraid. What if this is what scares them off (and not, you know, his drugged and brainwashed brother or the agency that tried to kill them all)? What if they don't want to be tied to him that way? He still thinks MC deserves better than him, even if he's been selfish enough to accept them.

He must take too long to respond, because MC shifts back just enough to look up at him. Their eyes seem to sparkle in the darkness. "Saeyoung."

He looks away and they gently press a hand to his cheek. They're warm, so warm, melting him inside and out. Like a hot drink after coming in from the cold. "You're thinking too loud," they say.

"Haha, am I?" Is his voice shaking? He hopes not.

"Don't overthink this. How did you feel?"

He's afraid. He's so, so afraid. He knows how to push past fear; he knows how to turn it into a weapon for himself, but this isn't a battle. There's nothing to fight.

"It... umm..." he starts. Getting the words out of his mouth feels like wading through mud. "I... well... it uh..."

And then MC's lips are on his. Gentle, almost chaste. A means to redirect his attention more than anything.

"Do you want to know how it made me feel?" They whisper against him.

With all higher brain function having ceased, the only thing Saeyoung can do is nod.

He feels MC's lips curl into a smile. "A little dissapointed, because I'm not his in-law yet."

Saeyoung's head spins as he tries to process their words. "Oh... uh... you mean... you want...?"

MC chuckles and kisses him again. "I would love to be Saeran's in-law. Which means..."

Saeyoung swallows and finally meets MC's eyes. There's love in their gaze, but also a twinkle of mischief. Tease.

"You want to be my... wife?" He almost can't believe what he's saying might be true.

MC chuckles again. "Yes, Saeyoung. I want to be Saeran's sister-in-law; I want to be your wife; and I want you to be my husband."

And his head is spinning and MC kisses him again and he's falling. It's more than he's ever dreamed of and he's so scared to lose it but more than anything--he's excited. Saeyoung hasn't been excited in a long time. He's never looked forward to the future. It was never worth looking forward to.

When their lips part and he can think again, he says, "Does this count as a proposal? Because I can do better than that."

MC chuckles again. "You can give me a ring later, when this is all over."

He pauses, feeling unsure again. "Are you sure that's what you want?" He asks, barely above a whisper.

He yelps when MC gently nips his collarbone. "You're stuck with me, Saeyoung Choi. You're not getting rid of me so easily."

And he laughs, real this time. "Okay, okay! I won't let you go so easily, either. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Saeyoung."

("Technically, I proposed," Saeyoung will say.

"You certainly got down on one knee with a ring," MC will say. "But me and Vandy still beat you to the punch."

And Saeyoung will pout, but there's no sadness behind it. And MC will kiss him, because he's adorable when he pouts. And they will concede that, yes, Saeyoung is the one who offically proposed.

"But we still did it first," they will say, and Saeyoung will concede.)

#i had thoughts so take this #mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #707 #707 mysme #seven mysme #choi saeyoung #saeyoung mysme #saeyoung mystic messenger #707 mystic messenger #seven mystic messenger #seven #luciel choi #choi luciel #luciel mysme #luciel mystic messenger #vanderwood #vanderwood mysme #vanderwood mystic messenger #luc rambles #mysme #luc writes

[pompadourpink]

I saw the ask with the lonely 19 yo and it was great advice. But what about ace people like me? I'm 29 and lonely too. If I am not comfortable with adult activities is there any hope I can find and keep a relationship?

Yes. I made sure to talk about that point in the other post for fear of seeing the original poster get coerced into something she is not ready for and her ambitions worried me. However, here are the good news: there is not a single way to be in a relationship, there are thousands.

There is always someone willing to look over a potential partner's peculiarities or eccentricities if they're impressed enough. All types of people get into relationships, regardless of their sexuality, appearance, health, personality, kinks, family, finances, schedule, job - good grief, even people with so many red flags they make Lenin wake up can find partners who manage to see something they like! Don't ever convince yourself that there is a part of you that makes you unlovable. Unless you are actively harming others, that is not a thing.

The first man I was with saw me hide my stretch marks and took my hand away to cover them in kisses, and I was never ashamed again. Another, the first one who matched my energy, went to the doctor within two weeks to get medication because he was allergic to my cats, and upon learning I had time blindness, ran home every night to cook and feed me. A few times, I caught myself saying he listened to me too much whenever he remembered details and he would shake his head and smile at my nonsense. I stopped thinking this way after a while. The men I've been around since went above and beyond to make me smile, laugh, think of them, feel appreciated, even when we never dated. I received Friday flowers because I was born on a Friday. I was unexpectedly Uber-eated Indian food when I had forgotten to eat. I danced barefoot in the rain and got carried home to not have to step in puddles. And it happened because I thought I deserved it, without asking.

But before the energy matcher, I systematically dated men who disappointed me, treated me badly, and dumped me without a second thought, because I was hurt and thought that they were the best I could do - even the first one. I had to learn how to become the smooth operator I am today, because I was co-dependent, a great aftereffect of my childhood, and I sabotaged myself without realising it for a long time. I didn't listen to my gut. I didn't respect myself. I was so eager to be loved I would become a vampire the second someone liked me, even though they hadn't even had the time to prove themselves and earn me, and they would get so spooked by my behaviour they cowardly behaved like donkeys so they wouldn't have to do the dumping, and eventually did do it when I accepted to go with it because of how desperate I was. I still had to recover from that, not because I missed them, but because I felt unlovable, again, because I hated myself, so I needed someone to love me. But that doesn't call for a good relationship. It's an exhausting way to live, and I'm actually proud of those men for putting themselves first.

That is why I mentioned the second point in my other post. You have to deeply love and accept yourself if you want to be in a healthy relationship. You need to think that you deserve the world, that you are fantastic and worthy of love. You have to feel complete alone. But also, and that is the hard part, you cannot have expectations. You cannot give a hundred chances to people who made it clear they don't like you. You cannot chase - by definition, they don't want to be caught. This part is why I was talking about making good friends first. You have been running after a train and been destroyed every time it started to slow down but then flew away from you again. Stop running and calm down. Find stationary trains, enter them, walk around with your head up, and leave if you're not wanted. Go on casual dates, join groups, use dating apps or social media to chat, just to get used to people's presence and flirting. Keep learning how to love yourself, regardless of your sexuality.

Think of a celebrity you find very attractive and confident. Can you imagine them starting to talk about moving in together after three weeks and crying themselves to sleep when their brand-new partner kindly states that it's too early? Probably not.

When your heartbeat goes down, your confidence up, and instead of chasing down a train that doesn't want you you are able to wait for one to stop and enter it like it's your home, there is going to be a passenger who will look up and like what they feel. And another one, and another one. And you'll start chatting and joking around, and they'll like what they hear, or they won't. And they'll learn that you are ace, just like they could learn that you have 18 parrots, vaginismus or a sun allergy, and some will take off there, and that is their choice, and some will stay.

Don't apologise for who you are, and don't try to tolerate those who try to make you feel guilty for it. Make yourself an easy choice, a gem, a sunflower, fireworks, and your dates will stop feeling like they're walking into a trap. They'll feel like they're walking into a dream, and they won't care that they can't get it.

Now, obviously, I'm not ace, so I can only recommend you join online communities of people with similar situations to figure out if you want to seek someone who also doesn't have a libido or if you prefer to meet regular guys, disclose the information quickly and decide together how to deal with it.

Focus on healing. Put serenity first. Love yourself like you want to be loved. One day, someone will make life feel like a movie and you will never remember that you ever felt this way. Just a bit more patience, dear.

Love,

Mum

#ask #malks

[kryslenelopez]

To the 14-year-old me.

 To the 14-year-old me,

Hello, you! It is I, the 20-year-old you and I am here from the future to answer all your questions. But first off, God! Learn to use the right punctuation marks! In this blogpost, you will know how life had been these past six years for the both of us. I hope, as you read on, you won’t get too disappointed with yourself, with me.

1st: Have you finally lost weight? Every year, this has been my New Year’s Resolution so I wonder if you finally got enough motivation to finally do it.

Well, no. It is still a lot harder than you have anticipated but I do appreciate the faith that you have on me. Hopefully, next year's actually the year. I'm with you on this one, I am also curious about when I will get enough motivation, maybe let us ask it to the beyond.

2nd: Where are you the moment you’re reading this? I’ve always wanted to be the type of person that wants to travel the world so I wonder if you’re somewhere else.

I am currently sitting on a storage box(?) in the bathroom of The Alpha Suites somewhere in Makati at 4:21 AM and I have just woken up from a terrible nap. You have traveled many beautiful countries up to this moment. In 2016, you will be going back to Hong Kong for the 2nd time, and the year after that you'll visit Taiwan and would love it, and for the next two Decembers, you will go to Japan and also fall in love with it twice! Japan! Can you believe that?

Though, I am sorry to disappoint you but traveling is a bit complicated right now because we are currently in the middle of a pandemic, a pandemic that is almost on its 2nd year. It is something both of us could have never imagined experiencing but yet, here we are; wearing face masks everywhere we go, feeling paranoid when touching random public surfaces but believe me, it used to be so much worse during the beginning of this dystopian-like occurrence.

3rd: Were you able to meet a special someone? I’m the type of person who easily gets attached to person. I easily develop small crushes on people that I found really attractive. I’m currently crushing to a guy whose name ends with the letter E.

It's okay. You can say boyfriend. Lol. I do remember that guy whose name ends with the letter E, he's one attractive fella I gotta say but in just a few weeks, you will be moving on from him and will instead have feelings on someone whose name ends with letter O. If a certain person instantly comes into your mind, you are right. You see, you are about to enter a phase in your life you have never experienced before. This guy is your friend, one of your closest friends in your present even so, of course you would think highly of him but he will hurt you. This guy will make you feel what it's like to have all sorts of butterflies in your stomach but at the same time, this person will be breaking your heart several times. It's because of him you experienced that extreme heartbreak in 2017, you cried over a guy! It is also something both of us swore we would never experience.

To answer your 3rd question, no. You're not able to meet a special someone but you will meet about two more people who will make your heart flutter in the best ways possible. Spoiler alert! One of them also broke your heart, your worst and messiest heartbreak yet if I'm being honest, and the other one? Well, I do think he's the best and the most ideal man one could admire. He made us laugh so much! He's kind, gentleman, smart, witty, and has a good taste in music. You never confessed to him and you had to leave so that book ended abruptly before it even started.

Despite these experiences in romance, no matter how much you see them as failures, I hope you do not think of yourself as someone unloveable. We were young when all these happened, we were in the age where we look at the most trivial things in a person. We were vulnerable, yes but that does not mean we were less. Someone will come, or not and maybe, that is okay. Until then, I hope you never have to lose yourself again just to prove your worth to someone.

4th: Are you still in touch with the people who told me that they won’t forget me? We move a lot and people always tell me whenever we move that they’ll miss me so much and they won’t forget me.

No. 

I get that you were being optimistic because you loved those people but it is not just realistic. Let me tell you something, distance is a bitch! No matter how many people tell you otherwise, that is not just the truth. Thinking about those people now, I am not exactly hurt anymore. Sure, thinking about them makes me miss them sometimes, and I loved the way I laughed whenever I was with them but those do not necessarily mean that I want them in my life again. People grow up. It is our nature to do so, not just physically but also emotionally. Some people grow emotionally close to each other but some grow emotionally apart and our case was in the latter. Plus, even if there is not hundreds of miles between you and those people, there is no guarantee that it will even work out. Sure, romantic relationships are hard but friendships are more complicated which is something you have learned when you became an adult. If it is any consolation, you were not exactly innocent with this drifting apart thing but then again, it is inevitable. 

I hope you do not feel too sad reading my answer. The people you have in your life in your present you will also drift apart from them, much sooner than you thought actually but it is quite alright, we are alright. In two-three years, you will meet more people whose presence you will enjoy even more.

5th: What course did you take? You’re probably in college already and then there’s me, I still have 4 years of high school. I’ve always been confused on what course I should take so I’m sort of curious.

Would you be surprised if I tell you that you have decided to pursue something in the medical field? You have decided to take up BS in Medical Technology. It was absolutely a spontaneous decision. It was however a decision made because of something unfortunate. So far, it is eating my ass but as I study through the course, I am realizing how fascinating it is and had honestly took a liking on it. Hopefully, it will be the same for you. I know you are currently watching How To Get Away With Murder and are currently thinking about pursuing law, but maybe think about it furthermore? 

You still have four years of high school and my only advice is enjoy it. Live in the moment. Stop living through whatever happened in the past. When people say that high school is the only time you will feel the most carefree, they were right. I am speaking as someone who had lived through your four remaining years of high school. Was it always fun? No, in fact it would not be fun for another two years but you will be able to do enjoy and do things you wouldn’t be able to at 18 or in college. Live in the moment and do not pressure yourself with the future too much.

6th: Did someone invent a Time Machine already? If yes, could you visit me and answer these questions personally?

Obviously, no. LMAO. I have watched too many science videos over the past few years to know that time machines are simply impossible and would probably mess up the time and space continuum but anything is possible, right? At least that is what we used to believe, so let us once again ask this to the beyond. Hopefully we could personally get our answers from our actual selves if ever it turned out to be possible.

7th: Do you still cry whenever you hear a One Direction song in public? Because you did when you were 11-14.

You do not exactly cry anymore, rather you feel very nostalgic. You see, they have broken up. The “hiatus” they have decided to take? It was their subtle way of announcing that they are breaking up. You would not believe it, not for the upcoming years but I guess, growing up meant accepting the fact that they needed to grow out of the group, too. Growing up meant understanding how restricted they felt while they were in the band even though, SPOILER ALERT! it hurts to hear them say that they were never happy in the group. Fear not though, you will have KPOP groups to fangirl on. (I KNOW! KPOP! We swore we would never be a fan!) In fact you will have more fun in the fandom if I say so myself. Yup, after 10 years, you will still have a fan account for a group of men. Group of 20 something men, actually. Watch out for them!

8th: What’s the model of your phone? I currently have the iPhone 5s which I’m obsessed with.

This question makes me want to look at you fondly. You currently have the iPhone 11. I honestly salute you for openly admitting you are obsessed with your phone despite it being a stereotype for women. You may think that being on social media is the most fun thing ever, but soon you will grow out of it. With people gradually nitpicking on what other people do, it became tiring and draining. So as a result, I wanted to stay off it as much as possible even though we both know how easily we get bored.

9th: Are you reading a book at the moment? Brother just bought a book for me that is entitled as Amy and Roger’s Epic Detour.

Yes! I am currently reading Emily Henry’s People We Meet On Vacation but there are final exams coming up so I have put it on pause. I do remember that book, in the upcoming years you will be collecting more of Morgan Matson’s books and will thoroughly enjoy them. Our love for books and reading are something we still have in common, though we will encounter a lot of reading slumps over the years but we have always managed to get back into it. I hope you appreciate all the free time you have right now because it is a privilege to have one.

10th: Are you enjoying being an adult?

I cannot answer this question with a simple yes or no because of course, just like any other things, being an adult has its pros and cons. With the virus still making me fearful and cautious about my surroundings, I cannot tell if there are differences. Sure, I can now roll my eyes and mutter “Teenagers...” under my breath without indirectly pertaining to people my age and our annoying habits, and sure, I can sign up on web sites and actually use my real age but other than those two, nothing much has changed. Maybe being inside the house most of the time caused this.

I have always thought that being an adult meant more freedom and maybe, somehow, that is true or that will be true at some point of life but currently, if I’m going to be honest, being an adult made me feel pressured about my future with the people our age already succeeding. I know you are probably going through the same thing and I am not trying to invalidate that by saying that the feeling of pressure in adulthood is more intense because this adulthood is the future you are worrying about, and the present I am now living in. So, please do not think about adulthood too much. Again, do live in your present and live your life the way you want to. Life will be as it is no matter how much you want to prevent bad things from happening.

This is what the 20-year-old you looks like. I have answered the few questions you asked. I hope you are not too disappointed with yourself, with me. Six years is a long time, and I get that you expected that something major had already happened with your life at 20 but it is worth remembering that two years of those six years were spent fighting off a whole-ass pandemic. Hell! You are almost in your junior year of college and you have not stepped a foot on your university yet!

Kryslene, I do not know how to say this. The most devastating, saddest, and possibly the most challenging thing will happen to us. We will be losing the most important man in our life. Honestly, I do not know how I got through with it but if I have managed to survive everything that had happened, so can you. It hurts, it still does despite more than a year had already passed. It will always hurt but I know, one way or another, we will be able to get through it all. I do not consider myself as someone strong may it be physically, mentally, or emotionally but somehow we always manage to stand up on our two feet after every storm. Maybe we both deserve a credit for that.  

Kryslene, there is still so much to look forward to and the same goes for me but in my case, I have to focus on more serious stuff. I hope you never lose compassion on the things you love and may we never get tired of trying new things and discovering new hobbies.

I hope these answers ended your curiosity about the future. Maybe in the far future, we will indeed have time machines and I can show you all the journal spreads and journal entries I have written for you. Until then, I have to go back to my present and get shit done. I’ll talk to you some other time, bye!

All the love as always, Kryslene.

The questions:

To the 20 year old me.

*HAVE NOT BEEN PROOFREAD YET*

[dearcosmosis]

Dear X

X, this letter is for you. When I think of missing out on an overseas experience and a degree I wanted to study or of continuing a career I had no passion for, I feel disappointed in myself. I already have all the theories I needed to rationalise all these years and deep down am aware that no one has the rights to interfere with people's life choices, because no one can be responsible for one's life except for herself. Perhaps these are things that I can have control over, outside emotions. I have failed myself terribly by letting people take the power of choice from me.

Dear X, I'm sorry that you felt this way. Parents' divorce was a conclusion not yours, but it impacts you nevertheless. You were abandoned by your own parents, you were unloved. No one taught you how and you were too engrossed finding love. You think you were saved by being your parents' side, but that is outright abuse. No one was there to guide you and you were too busy dropping into abyss. Too young, too many responsibilities. Just one of the city children grown in a haste. I felt the loneliness from not getting to express my feelings without fear and judgment. Where is the unconditional love? I don't enjoy having words placed in my mouth, or to be wary and disappointed in life. This early midlife crisis that never seemed to end. I feel like my feelings are secondary, sometimes I wanted to be given permission to lose control and be heard sometimes. They say a bad child impacts one for life. Who were the people before they had children, what are their dreams? I am interested to know. I forgive people who tell me they wanted to die. They are wrong, it was the only way they learnt to keep people by your side. Depression is unmet needs revealed. I just need more patience with personal boundaries, for sanities' sake. Sometimes, too much understanding breeds animosity, and itself is a hidden irresponsibility. Life is strange, but i think you can unsubscribe yourself from their issues. I wanted you to know that you can be okay with intimacy and you are feminine. You are free to cry if you want to. Of course, you're worthy of love! I am always here aren't I? There will be someone who will hold your hand and tell you that you are enough and beautiful. He will be faithful. No explanations given, just unconditional and your own flow of life. You'll be fine and so will I. You're alright. You're important, what you say and do is always your choice. Your real voice will be heard. There is always me around.

I wake up so very often imaging myself on my deathbed, wishing I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. I am numb. We aren't here to save anyone. I know the topics of your life from the first boy you left your heart to and the times you left yourself behind. I'll always be the best person to care for you because I already been through it all and beyond. Don't use too much force, have fun, smile, renew your faith!

Dear X, you're lost and you needed a listening ear. It's okay and safe and will be in the future. You do not have to prove yourself to anyone, not even yourself. How about putting yourself first and let others down? You are your own person, you will always have the freedom of speech and choice. You can live life as you imagined. You are your own person after all.

Thank you for these experiences that I rise above. They are not good experience, and to be honest I rather not go through these. But I will be better, I always do.

Dear myself, I hope you have learnt how to treat yourself better by prioritizing yourself first. Love better, laugh at yourself and live like there's no tomorrow. And I love you so.

X

#feelmysoul #shadowwork #life #god help my soul

[hamliet]

equating the dany of the show to trump is bs it just shows another example of trump derangement syndrome where someone deludes themself that trump is the devil demonizing trump and spouting bs claiming he is a bigot or sexist,or anti immigrant ( anti illegal immigration isnt anti immigrant ) or claim hes islamophobic that he wanted to ban muslims ( lie ) a temporary travel ban is what it was or claims he bragged about sexual assault (basically a gish gallop pile (look it up )

he gotten a list made by the obama administration on 7 muslim majority countries that push out terrorists by the bushel so trump instituted a temporary travel ban similar to what obama did until the improve security check and background checks etc

Okay. I wasn’t going to answer this because arguing with a Drumpfist is like arguing with a flat earther: no matter what facts you explain or appeals to basic human decency (ie caring about someone other than yourself) you resort to, it won’t matter. Rationality and empathy cannot convince bigotry unless you’re open, but it doesn’t sound like you are, considering you took a very random post and took the chance to make a political point that you HAVE to know I wouldn’t agree with. 

So, I’m not going to argue with you. I can’t because what you’re defending is such bullshit, such monumental evil, that I’m blocking you on your second ask. I can’t argue this because I get distraught. THESE ARE PEOPLE I LOVE who are being affected! If it was YOUR loved ones, you’d care. I hope. And I’m being affected by some of the things you cite and others you don’t. 

Don’t tell me he isn’t Islamophobic. You aren’t a Muslim (obviously from your ask), so who the hell are you to say what is and is not Islamaphobic? “It wasn’t a ban,” you say, but did a student at the uni you work for get barred from the country when she went back for Christmas break? You have no idea what you’re talking about. You can speak to it because it doesn’t affect you. 

No, I don’t think you’re evil because I don’t like classifying humans that way. But I think you are supporting evil, so do with that as you like. I personally think Drumpf is one of the worst human beings in power in the world, and his rise along with the rise of Modi in India, Erdogan in Turkey, Putin in Russia, what just happened in the UK elections, etc, etc, etc is bloody terrifying.

Facts matter. History, aka events resulting from human patterns of behavior, indicate that a worldwide rise in right-wing nationalism, bigotry towards LGBT+ people, people of other races/ethnicities/religions, never ends well. Like, WWII-not-ending-well. 

My personal guess is, from where this ask sprung from (a post very much not about politics but about fiction), that you do not feel your voice is heard. Your voice will not be heard by shouting over other voices or silencing them. Your voice deserves to be heard as it is, but not at the cost of others. 

#ask hamliet #politics #your drumpfism is not welcome on this blog #i draw a boundary there #i'm not saying you're unlovable or beyond hope #but i am saying that i personally cannot handle this bullshit #i get enough of itfrom my own family #and my found family is affected by these evil policies #how dare you #Anonymous

[neverinadream]

Unlovable

Summary: Kepa’s tired of being unsure of where he stands with y/n, but her mind is thinking about how she could run away.

Song: All I've Ever Known - Hadestown

Warnings: angst, suggestive content

Requested: Yes

Notes: it's sort of short but I hope you enjoy it, requests are open

Kepa's lips press lightly against his lover's shoulder as she sits on the edge of his bed. His fingers slide the strap of her bra off her shoulder and unclip the back, attempting to prevent her from getting dressed. "Stay," he insists, now knelt behind her on the bed. He runs the backs of his fingers down her arms, settling his hands on her hips. "I hate it when you leave," he mumbles, kissing the base of his neck. Kepa sighs as she fixes her bra, pressing his forehead against her shoulder blade. "Por favor," he insists once more, "don't go."

"I have to-"

"Look at me." Y/N sighs, craning her head back to look at him. His hand cradles her face, brushing his thumb against her cheek. "Stay here with me," he whispers, gazing into her eyes. He leans forwards, brushing his lips against hers. "Be with me."

"No."

"Yes," Kepa disagrees, his face still close to hers. He hums satisfactorily when she leans into him, their noses touching together. Both hands now cupped her face, touching her as though she was made of glass and could break under his touch. "What are you so scared of?" He asks, keeping his voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N was scared to get close to anyone anymore, because everyone who promised they would stay, turned their back on her and walked away. She could lose herself in the act of sex, shield her heart and not feel regret when she slips out of their bed to go home. That was the norm for her for the majority of her adult life, until she met Kepa.

The sex was still sex but each time she was with him she found herself falling in love with a new aspect of him. She fell in love with how he laughed at his own jokes. Or the way he looked at her in the car when a song came on that he knew she liked. Or the way his smile reached his eyes every time without fail. Or just by the way he would hold her. Y/N had never experienced this before and it terrified her.

Her mind was always thinking about how she could run away, but with Kepa, she was finally beginning to consider the stay.

"I'm scared of you," Y/N admits to him, "I'm scared to lose you, because I know there's something about you that I know I won't find in anyone else." She presses her finger to his mouth as he tries to speak, shaking her head as an indication to keep quiet. Her hand moves to hold him, neither wanting to separate from the other. "I want to love you and be in love with you but I know how cruel love can be. To be in love means allowing yourself to be open to the chance of being hurt beyond repair, and I am already broken enough."

"You're not broken, Y/N-"

"Yes, I am," she shakes her head, cutting him off, "when I think of you, I wish I can say I feel all the cliché emotions: the butterflies, the fuzzy warm feeling people talk about; I think about how I can run away and spare you the trouble of loving someone who can't be loved."

He raises his eyebrows, frown lines forming as he produces a saddened expression. "Why do you say such horrid things?"

Y/n shrugs her shoulders, "I've never mattered enough for someone to stick around long enough to love me."

"You matter so much to me," Kepa tells her. His fingers stroke through her hair, lifting his head up to kiss her forehead. "You're the last thing I want to lose. You're the first thought I wake up to and the last thought I have when I go to sleep. When I hold you in my arms, I feel as though I'm holding the whole world, because that's how much you matter to me." He pulls back to look at her, searching for her eyes in the dimly lit room. Half a smile breaks out on his face, growing bigger as he watches her own smile tug on the corners of her mouth. "I want to keep you in my life for as long as possible," Kepa says, brushing his thumb gently against her cheek.

She pulls Kepa into her, squeezing her eyes shut and kissing him like her life depended on it. She kissed him like she had spent an age underwater and he was her only source of oxygen. Her fingers tangled in his hair and she turned her body until she was facing him. He lifted her up onto his lap, holding her face with one hand and the other pressed to her lower back, drawing her closer into him as he reciprocates the kiss.

"I'm so scared to fall in love," Y/N whispers against his lips, her mind made up in a single kiss, "but if it's with you, then I'll try."

General tag list: @shanoontje @maseandkepa @whiskeypowder @theblxefox @blueathens @ofxinnocence @masonchilwell @1-800-benji-chilwell @kepaarrizabalaga1 @mrschilly @superjackgrealish @geek-and-proud

#kepa arrizabalaga #kepa arrizabalaga imagine #kepa arrizabalaga blurb #kepa arrizabalaga one shot #kepa arrizabalaga fanfic #kepa arrizabalaga x reader #kepa arrizabalaga x yn

[roll-da-credits]

Hello! Could I please request Hawks with really outgoing and bubbly reader that really likes him, but also rejects every time because inside she feels unlovable and too damaged to actually be with someone, so she dodge the topic of dating even tho hawks clearly likes her too. She doesn't want to burden him with her childhood trauma, but ofc she doesn't know that he also has one and maybe he makes her talk somehow and there is confrontation?

Kindred Hawks // 1.8k words

Hawks has always been known for his rather flirtatious attitude, but when you're on the receiving end, it's kind of difficult to feel worthy of his attention.

Hi there! Of course you can, I'm so so so so so so sorry this took so long lmfao I didn't have the energy to do it for a while now, but I think I'm back to my feet and I hope you enjoy this! It's always a pleasure to write for the annoying birdman. P.s because you didn't mention what kind of childhood trauma I didn't mention it explicitly, but there are signs that it's connected to her parents. I just didn't say how

“How’s it going down there?”

“Nothing much to be honest, what do you expect, it's been pretty peaceful these days.”

You answered Hawks’ question from the comms. The patrol you were doing right now was one of many you’ve experienced together. Most of the time Hawks would watch the skies whilst you’d watch from rooftops, being on the ground would attract too much attention from either of your fans so this was a better way to watch out for villains.

It had started not too long ago, both your agencies decided to work together to facilitate a healthier relationship between heroes, it was just pure luck that you got paired up with the winged hero. Looking back you didn’t know if that meant you had good luck or bad luck, seeing as how you and he had hit it off almost immediately, becoming friends rather quickly.

“Well, it seems that there might not be any action today.”

You heard Hawks mutter, not from the comms but from beside you, as he had landed. You chuckled and sighed out loud, letting your body lean back to the rooftop. As much as you were happy that there wasn’t any crime going on, it can get a bit boring just watching people go about their daily lives.

“That’s a good thing though right? That means we’re doing our job correctly if no villains are coming out and attacking.” You exclaimed loudly, really proud of the way Japan was conducted these days.

Sure there was some trouble with the League but aside from that, minor crooks and petty thieves were close to nonexistent by now.

“That being said, why not you and me leave this place huh?” You rolled your eyes at this, knowing exactly where he was going, “Oh come on!! Don’t roll your eyes, let's just take a break for a while, an hour or two to eat lunch in that new cafe down the street.”

A sense of foreboding crept up to you, though you quickly shrugged it off before Hawks could be able to tell. You turned towards him with a smirk, fully intending to tease him.

“You asking me on a date Hawks?”

“If you so want it to be one.”

The two of you burst into loud laughter after staring at each other for a short while. You smiled to yourself enjoying the fun little flirtatious interactions with Hawks. It happened quite often, so often in fact that you didn’t think much of it anymore. At first, his flirtatious nature had shocked you and flustered you beyond comprehension, in which his response was to tease you even more.

But as more time go on, you’ve gotten used to him. Knowing truly that he doesn’t actually mean it, a bitter feeling settled in your stomach the more you thought about it. Of course, he didn’t really mean it that way. He was a hero that was always in the public light, a celebrity. He would need to make good relationships with all the people he met, including you.

Perhaps that was why he was insistent in taking you to lunch every so often when you both weren’t busy.

“Sorry, casanova but I’d like to not get fired from my job by leaving my post.”

You spoke before ending the conversation by switching channels in your comm to the people behind the scenes in your agency, cutting off whatever Hawks was about to say to you. The day was then spent as uneventful as it started. Nothing big really happened. There was one thief that tried to steal an old woman’s purse, but that was easily dealt with a few of Hawks’ feathers and your communication skills with the old woman.

As the moon rose higher and higher to the sky, it meant your partnership for the day with the Hero was coming to an end. You were situated for night patrol in a different part of the area. The agreement after all was for him and you to partner up with each other for day patrols. Now on the ground, you both were walking side-by-side on the street, loving the cold winds of November.

“How about dinner then? I mean, I finish early today, what about you sweet cheeks?” You scoffed at his pet name, it was both endearing and annoying.

“Sorry birdbrain, not interested.” You muttered.

Hawks was about to complain to you about how you were so accepting of other people’s invitations to go to lunch or dinner when it isn’t him when he noticed something off. When he looked towards you, he realized as the two of you were walking, your eyes were trained to a couple, both their hands holding a small child in the middle of them.

All three of them were laughing, the child was wrapped tightly in a warm scarf, both the father and the mother looked at each other with such love before going back to laugh at whatever the child had said. He noticed a sharp intake of air from you. As quickly as the mood changed it went back to normal.

“Well, Hawks, this is where we separate, it’s always a pleasure to work with you. Maybe we can catch a bite some other time.”

You always said that, always said that there would be another time or another chance where you’d say yes to his offer. Yet it never came. He quickly disregarded his thoughts when he saw you look at the small family, cracking a couple of jokes on how you would never go out with him and then bidding you farewell.

After that little incident, he watched you much closer than he’d like to admit. It wasn’t because he was being creepy, he just wanted to know why you seemed so quiet when you saw that family. His observations showed a small pattern, you seemed more apprehensive when you were around him.

More skittish, almost. He noticed how you’d bring up on the offer of dinner or lunch or simply just to hang out when it was any other person other than him. It brought a sort of heaviness in his heart. He didn’t know how to feel about it.

On one hand, you were nothing but genuine and lovely when you both were around each other, and yet why did you push him away every time he tries to start a relationship. The uncertainty on how you felt was what got you in this position right now.

“What are you talking about?” You nervously chuckled.

One of Hawks’ hands pinning you to a wall behind you, his face closer to yours than you would’ve liked, causing a furious heat to cover your face.

“I asked the question I want you to answer, I swear I won’t react terribly, and if after this you feel uncomfortable with me around I’ll get it seen that you’ll be partnered with someone else other than me tomorrow. Why will you not go out on a date with me?”

If your hearing didn’t betray you, the hero himself almost sounded pleading. Your mind raked itself of any kind of excuses it could come up with. Maybe you could say you had a boyfriend already, but that wouldn’t work as you’ve told him once before that you weren’t looking to date anyone. Maybe you could say you just didn’t want to date, but you had a feeling he would’ve known you were lying.

So, with a look to his bright eyes, you sighed, shrinking from his intense gaze.

“I-” you started, “I just don’t want to burden you, if that makes sense.” You looked away, almost ashamed of what you said.

You could tell Hawks faltered slightly, he stayed quiet for a moment before speaking out in a tone just above a whisper.

“Why?”

It was one word, just one word, plus the situation he placed you in that caused you to crash. Bubbling with frustration and anger. The emotions you’ve been trying to bury deep inside of you, the emotions of your attraction to him, finally blowing up.

“God damnit Hawks, it's because you deserve someone more!” You humorlessly chuckled loudly, “You deserve someone much more your league. Not someone literally followed by the shadows of her past, not someone like me.” You whispered that last part.

The silence that greeted you after saying all of that was deafening, You wondered how he was going to react. Was he going to let you go and pretend nothing happened? Was he going to laugh at you?

Turns out, you were wrong.

Instead, both his hands wrapped around your back and pulled you close to his chest. His head nestled into your neck as both his wings cover the two of you from public view, though it was nighttime already.

“I’m glad,” the moment he felt you stiffen in shock he pulled you away and quickly tried to explain himself, “I mean, I thought, I had thought that you just didn’t like me but didn’t want to seem mean, that’s why you kept refusing me.”

It was refreshing to see the casanova hero chuckle nervously. Face as red as his wings, one hand scratching the back of his neck, the other inside his pockets as he tried to look anywhere but you.

“So you actually meant all of those times you asked me out?” Your question caused all the embarrassment to leave the winged hero, snapping him back to the reality that you were the one who showed a fragile part of yourself.

“Of course,” he spoke in such an earnest way that it made your heart clench painfully, “Of course I meant it, I meant every single compliment I’ve ever given you.”

A part of you still didn’t believe him, “Even after what I told you? You’d still have me as a date?”

“I won’t take it back now just because something happened in your past, we’re all haunted by some forms of our past, I don’t need to know what it is to know it’s probably a heavy burden. Let me help you ease that burden.”

His voice was smooth and calm as he neared you again, one gloved hand holding onto your chin tilting your face upwards to him.

“Let me be someone you trust enough to share that burden, I don’t mind it, we’re all who we are right now because of what happened in the past. I won’t say I’m glad you had to go through that, but whatever happened in the past brought the two of us together and for that, I’m eternally grateful.”

You didn’t know what to say. You opened your mouth to just say something, thank you, or anything. But nothing would come out. You just stared at him. It caused him to chuckle as he leaned forward to rest his forehead against yours.

“You’ll come to know that I have my fair share of burdens from the past, but I’m working to get past it myself. All that aside, now I give the question back to you,” he locked his eyes into yours, “Will you go out with me? Dinner in a couple hours?”

With his words, the apprehension, fear, and feeling of undeserving slowly left your shoulders. It made you feel light, he made you feel light.

“Sure.”

#hawks x reader #bnha #mha #keigo takami #hawks #keigo takami x reader #keigo #keigo x you #keigo x reader #hawks x you #keigo takami x you #takami keigo

[honeyymistt]

hello! I hope you're okay with me coming to you to ask for your perspective/opinion/advice. I don't really have any friends or anyone I can talk to about this.

I've been with my boyfriend for four months now. I met him in a mutual discord server and we were friends for about three months before dating. We bonded so quickly and we both expressed feeling extremely comfortable and safe around eachother. I've never opened up to anyone like I've opened up to him.

At the beginning of the relationship, he was the softest, most affectionate person ever. He always sounded so excited to talk to me and spend time with me, he would compliment me all the time and his love felt so genuine. We said we never wanted to leave the honeymoon phase. We were inseparable.

But as time passed, problems in the relationship rose obviously. The more problems there were, the more distant he'd get. He's not affectionate like that anymore, he's not excited to talk to me or to do anything with me anymore. When I confronted him about it, he said it's because he got too comfortable in the relationship and felt like he had to try harder at first and that his depression makes it harder for him to express affection.

He became really inconsistent and it felt like a constant hot and cold. I'd try to fix things and communicate and things would never change. I've tried to break up with him over it a couple of times now in the past month or two, he'd always beg me not to leave and would say he's trying his hardest and that he'll do his best. I still feel consistently unloved and uncared for.

It was even to the point that I'd have to ask him to care more about how I was doing, how my day was, if I was okay after getting vaccinated. He stopped really caring unless it was jealousy. He's always super invasive about who I talk to, what I'm saying to them, etc and would get upset with me for not telling him even though I've asked him for privacy before.

I don't know if he's with me because he's afraid to be lonely, or if he's scared to lose me but doesn't feel like I'm worth the effort. He always talks about how he hated being alone and always needs to be around people. We sleep call every night and he loves when I give him affection.

I was reading through our messages when we first started dating yesterday and I just started bawling my eyes out. I miss when he treated me that way. I miss being loved in that way. I miss how excited and happy he seemed being with me and having me in his life. I feel like he mostly puts in effort when he thinks I'm leaving/when I try to leave. The highs are so high and the lows are so low.

I'm so heartbroken. I love him so much still and I want to be with him so badly, but I feel so unloved. I lost a friend recently too and I don't know if I can handle grieving this relationship as well. I'm so tired and sad all the time. Maybe he realized I'm not as great as he thought I was.

I don't know if I should stay or leave, doesn't seem like things will change. I still love him and want him, but I'm hurting so badly. Have you ever gone through something similar? How do I let go of someone I love so deeply?

oh :( the things i would do to hug you, hold your hand and tell you that everything is gonna be alright. i'm totally okay with you sending this in for my perspective/opinion/advice - i am beyond honoured that you decided to send this in to me of all blogs.

i'm just going to rip the band-aid right off, okay? i think you should break up with him. sometimes your words don't click in when you tell them to yourself, so i'm going to say them back to you. your boyfriend does not treat you the way you deserve to be treated. He's distant. He's inconsistent. He's invasive of privacy. He doesn't care unless he's jealous. He's hot and cold. When you tried to break up with him, he begged you not to leave and that he would try harder yet you still feel unloved and uncared for.

to answer your question, i've never been in a situation like this before; however, i was in a relationship for about a year and a half and i don't think we ever left the honeymoon phase until the last month (maybe less?). i had a lot of fun in this relationship. i felt loved and cared for, i felt appreciated, beautiful, smart and capable. this is how your boyfriend should make you feel!!!! and i think that's why it's been hard for me to find another person - because the last one treated me so well that i haven't settled for anything less. i think that everyone deserves that type of love.

to answer your second question: you let go because you have to. in your case, because you deserve better. wayyyy better. i saw this thing on instagram and it said "just because you love someone doesn't mean they feel loved by you." he claims he loves you but do you feel loved by him? if the answer is only sometimes, then i guarantee that you will find someone who can do better than that. you can still have love for him but recognize that you deserve better.

give yourself a lot of time to deal with the heartbreak. buy yourself flowers just because. take yourself out on a date. enjoy your own company. it's life changing. i'm not sure if you know Jameela Jamil but she had a post on Instagram and she had a caption about her boyfriend saying that "He is the cherry on top. He is not the whole pie. Do not live for another. Live for who you're going to become and for the fun people you may meet along the way. A woman's [or man's] worth is not reliant upon the love of a man [or woman]." Read this and then read it again.

"Maybe he realized I'm not as great as he thought I was," that's far from the truth. You are amazing and you aren't hard to love. I know that you just recently lost a friend and losing him would be really hard but i'd rather be alone than be with the wrong person. remember that the people in your life come and go all the time. you will meet new people and you will make new friends and form new connections with people - the right people.

he still has a lot of maturing to do.

i know that i said that i think you should break up with him but i just want to make it clear that this is what i would do and it is not intended to come across as me making the decision for you. i will support whatever you choose to do. it is your life!! you know what is best for you. i'm going to end this by asking you a question. if the roles were reversed and it was me in this situation, what would you tell me to do? what advice would you give me? answer the question and then follow your own advice. if you decide to break up with him, i will be here for you every step of the way and you will find someone who treats you right. if you decide to give him another chance, i hope that he treats you a million times better than he has so far; and if it's inconsistent, hot and cold, invasive of privacy, etc. then i hope you have the courage to walk away.

#chat with honeyymistt #i'm sorry that he treats you this way #i will support whatever you choose to do #and you don't have to go through this alone okay? #you can message me anytime and i will be here to comfort you #you're really really strong

[the-mykie-show]

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This (Neganxreader)

Plagued by nightmares, Negan finds comfort in your arms, developing a special bond with you, all the while not knowing that you need the same comfort. Until the truth comes out.

*Warnings* Negan's potty mouth, nightmares, graphic descriptions of sex

*rating* explicit

Requested by @neganscherryblue I hope you like it!

Your fingers stroke Negan's hair as he buries his face in your chest.

It was strange to see such a powerful man so vulnerable and relaxed, using your breasts as a pillow, arms wrapped tightly around you while you leaned against his pillows under him. He was quiet for once, like he wanted to listen to the beating of your heart under his ear.

This had become something of a nightly routine, an intimate little ritual the two of you shared.

You and Negan never had sex, despite that you spent most nights in the Savior’s bed, all you did was just held him and talked, offering reassurance and comfort when he woke up from one of his nightmares.

He got them often, more often than anyone you'd ever known, he'd told you that was the reason none of his wives ever slept in his bed with him, he always sent them to their own rooms after he'd had his way with them. He didn't want anyone to know. Anyone but you, that is.

Your first night in the Sanctuary you'd woken up to the sound of his screaming and went to investigate, assuming that you would find a fellow Savior bit or turned, but instead you'd found Negan, drenched in a cold sweat, sheets tangled around his long legs, and tears in his eyes. And from there on Negan seemed to share a deep and intimate bond with you that he didn't have with anyone else. Not even the women he called his wives.

You spent almost every night in Negan's bed with him until he fell asleep and then you'd retire to your own room down the hall.

You let him drift off, running your fingers through his hair, gently scratching your nails against his scalp, while your other hand drew circles on his back, you felt his breathing change and his muscles go limp once he was deep asleep, you give it another half hour to make sure he was actually deep enough asleep for you to leave and then head for your room.

Stipping out of your jeans and shirt you put on a pair of shorts and a soft lacy night shirt before crawling into bed, you pull the covers up to your neck and and stare at the ceiling, trying to fall asleep. The irony of you spending every night helping Negan fall asleep while you could never do the same for yourself wasn't lost on you. You knew how to handle Negan's nightmares so well because you had your own demons that visited you in the night.

Everyone you knew from before the outbreak was gone, either dead or just gone, and the space they had left in your heart was like a black hole, swallowing up everything and leaving nothing but deep lonely sadness.

That dark little voice in the back of your head reminding you all the time that you weren't good enough, you weren't pretty enough, you were unlovable.

It made you afraid to fall asleep.

Eventually you couldn't fight it any longer and fell into a restless sleep.

You wake up to a hand shaking your shoulder and a familiar deep voice whispering reassurances, your throat hurts, you must have been screaming, and you're covered in sweat.

Negan is on his knees on the edge your bed, leaning over you.

“you alright there, sweetheart?”

You nod, and he passes you the bottle of water off your nightstand.

“You never told me that you get them too.” Negan's fingers brush across your cheek, sweeping your sweaty hair off your face. “do you want to talk about it?”

Your eyes well up with tears again, and the next thing you know Negan's arms are around you, holding you tightly against his chest, your legs tangled together, one of his hands strokes your hair while the other slips beneath your nightshirt to rub soothing circles on your skin.

“I'm all alone.” you whisper after a while.

“What? No you're not.”

“I've lost everyone I've ever loved, Negan, they're all gone, I don't have anyone left.” you choke back a sob that tries to bubble up.

“That's not true, you have me.” he says against your temple “I know I'm an asshole, and I don't say this shit nearly as much as I should, but I care about you. Hell you might be the only person left who I do care about. You're the first person I've loved since Lucille.” you jerk upright and look at him, shocked.

Did he just say that he loves you?

“Do you mean that you… Love me…?” you ask.

He looks surprised for a moment, almost like he can't believe that he actually just said that. But he nods slowly “yeah, yeah I guess that is what I mean.” he swallows hard “I uh, I wasn't going to tell you. It just kind of slipped out.”

“Why wouldn't you tell me?”

“Because I didn't want to ruin what we have, I didn't want to scare you off. Our nights together are the only damn thing that I look forward to in this miserable shithole of a world, I didn't want to lose that.”

“I don't understand… if you've loved me all this time, why didn't you ask me to be a wife? Why didn't you try to sleep with me?”

“Because you're special. What we have goes deeper than sex. And my wives… don't get me wrong, I care about those girls, I respect them, make sure they have everything they need, but I don't love them. Fuck if having multiple hot women willing to spread their legs for you at any given time isn't every man's ultimate fantasy, but that's all it is. Meaningless sex, a mutually beneficial arrangement. Those girls to get to live in luxury while the world burns around them, and I get to get my dick wet whenever I feel like it, I don't love them, they don't love me. You and I are different.”

You don't give him the chance to say anything more, you press your lips to his, and he eagerly accepts the kiss.

Your lips part with a breathless sigh of pleasure, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth. The kiss lasts until you both run out of air and forced to part and catch your breath.

“I love you too.” your own voice saying those words to someone again sounds strange.

He kisses you this time, pulling you close so every line of your body is pressed against his. His hands start to explore your body in ways that they never have before, and what he wants is crystal clear.

“Are you okay with this? We absolutely don't have to do this right now, there's no pressure.” he assured you.

“I know, but I want to.” your consent was all he needed, and with that he was kissing you again, his hands going to the bottom of your nightshirt and pulling it over your head, he breaks the kiss to take in your naked upper body for moment before he guides your breasts down to his mouth, eagerly taking your nipple between his lips. It's been so long since you've been touched like this the sudden shock of pleasure his tongue against the sensitive skin sends directly into your clit makes you let out a surprised moan. He licks and sucks your sensitive bud until you can feel yourself soaking through your shorts, and become painfully aware of the fact that you aren't wearing panties, he pulls off your left nipple with a gentle drag of his teeth against you, and switches to the right, repeating the process.

Is it possible to come from having your nipples sucked? Because you feel like you're about to. You feel his hardening cock swell against your ass and slide down to grind your core against him through his sweatpants, desperate for the friction. He pulls off your other nipple with a loud moan.

His hands grip your hips, stilling your grinding so he can take in your body again, this time with swollen and glistening buds exposed to him.

His hands slide down to tug your shorts off, and you raise up to help him.

He sees that you aren't wearing any panties “No panties huh? You always go commando?” he asks as you stand and kick the shorts to the floor to join your nightshirt.

“Only when I sleep.” you say a little embarrassed, until you feel his thumb slip into your folds, stroking you from clit to ass.

“Already nice and wet. I could probably fuck you right now and it'd be fine, but I want to taste you first.” he pulls you up right, and adjusts you so that you're on your knees, with his head between your legs while he lays down under you, your core completely exposed to him. It makes you feel a little vulnerable and exposed, and you realize what he wants with surprise.

“You want me to sit on your face?” you ask.

“Fuck yes I do! If you're not comfortable with it then you don't have to, but I think you'd like it.” you figure why the hell not, and start to lower yourself.

“I'm okay with it… just I've never done it before, tell me I suffocate you, okay?”

He laughed “literally drowning in pussy seems like a good way to go out, but fine.” he takes your hips in his hands, guiding your heat to meet his mouth. Even though you know it's coming you let out a surprised little gasp when his tongue parts your folds, lapping your clit with slow, practiced strokes, teasing the swollen little bundle of nerves from its hood, before going lower and sliding his tongue as deep into your pulsing, needy entrance as it will go.

It doesn't take you long to take control, moving your hips and grinding against his mouth, getting his tounge right where you need it most. Alternating between sliding your clit up and down against it, and fucking yourself with his tongue. Negan seems to be beyond enjoying himself, grabbing your hips and moaning, eagerly lapping up all your arousal.

“Negan, I think I'm going to come!” you groan.

“Go ahead, baby, keep fucking that sweet little pussy on my tongue and come so I can lick you clean.” and you do come, for the first in your life from just being eaten out, and he happily licks up every drop, to the point you're almost over stimulated by the time he's satisfied he's lapped up everything.

You move down his body, tugging down his sweatpants to free his erection.

When it springs free you're a little surprised and intimidated by his length and girth. You'd encountered Negan's morning wood before on accident before after you're nights together, so you knew he was well endowed, but his was probably the still the biggest cock you've ever encountered. You're sure you're not going to able to fit it all in your mouth, but you try anyways.

Cupping his balls in one hand, you use the other to guide his tip between your lips, being sure to lick the bead of precome off before you hallow your checks and suck. You take a deep breath through your nose, and you swallow him as deep as you can, using your free hand on what you can't fit into your mouth. It's his turn to let out a surprised noise now.

“Damn baby, you take it good. Can I fuck your throat?” he asks breathlessly.

You nod and before you know it his hips are rising to meet the bobbing of your head, his hand in your hair. Until he pulls your head back, on your way up you suck him extra hard, his cock slipping from your mouth with a pop.

“Alright, I'm gonna come if you do that anymore, and I want to save that for later. How do you want it?”

“How do I want it?” all your partners before Negan always took control and you just went along with it, you weren't use to being one making all the decisions.

“Yeah, you want me to take you from behind? You want to ride me? You want me on top?” the idea of riding him makes your core absolutely drip with need.

“I want to ride you.”

“Good girl, now slide down on me nice and slow, I want you to feel every single inch stretching your tight little cunt, and I want you to watch while you fuck yourself on my cock, got it?” you nod, and take his cock in your hand again, pressing the head slowly into your entrance, despite his girth you're so wet he slides in easily. You do as he said and look down, watching him stretch you as you slide down until he's all the way inside you. You're amazed he fit, you take a moment to let your body get to use to his girth filling you, because fuck you felt so full. You raise up slowly, until just his tip is stretching your entrance and then slide back down, watching so intently as your body hungrily swallows his cock and it comes out a little bit wetter with your juices every time until it soaks him and start to drip onto his balls that you can't even moan. You gladly take him so deep each time that his pubes tickle your clit in the most wonderful way.

You pick up the pace, your walls desperate for the friction, until you find the perfect rhythm and an angle that presses the head of his cock perfectly into sweet spot. You feel your walls clench each time he hits it,

“You're taking my cock so good baby, you're so wet and tight. Now just reach down and rub your clit, just with one finger, that'll make you come nice and hard.” you do as he says, teasing your own swollen needy bundle with your middle finger while holding your lips open with your index and ring fingers so you can both enjoy the view.

You feel the coil of your impending orgasm start to form.

“Negan, I'm about to come.”

“Me too, go ahead baby, come on me. Now I'm going to need you to fuck yourself all the way through your orgasm, and keep teasing that clit, even when it feels like you can't take it anymore. Okay?”

You nod. “Good girl, I know how sensitive and stimulated you must be right now, it must damn near hurt, but just keep it up. That's it, just let your cunt squeeze me nice and tight.” and with that the coil snaps.

You cry out in pleasure, but do as he says and keep fucking yourself on him and rubbing your clit vigorously until your orgasm fades, but you keep bouncing up and down and rubbing your over stimulated bud until you feel his body these and feel the ropes of his come filling you up. You keep it up until you feel him start to soften inside you, and he grabs your wrist, stilling your rubbing.

He brings your hand to his lips, as you're still enjoying the spasms of your orgasm and the over stimulated tingle in your clit, and he sucks your combined juices off your finger.

He watches your face as he does it “do you want a taste too?” to your surprise you nod, and he reaches between your legs, slipping his index finger inside your aching cunt and brings it to your lips, soaked in your arousal and his come, which you eagerly suck clean. “You're a dirty little girl, and I fucking love it!” he praises you.

Before long you find yourself licking his cock clean while he licks your pussy clean at the same time. Once you're both done licking and sucking your juices off one another, you flop down beside him.

“That was…” he trials off, lost for words.

“The best sex I've ever had.” you finished. “I wish we would have done it months ago. Damn I didn't know what I was missing.”

“Shit, baby I'll fuck you like that every night if it means you'll be my girl.”

“I already was yours, Negan, but I'll definitely take you up on that offer.”

Eventually you drift off to sleep in his arms, and for the first time in a long time neither of you have any nightmares.

*Tagging* @neganscherryblue @negans-network @neganssavior-fanfiction @ariasnyder

#negan #twd negan #negan's thrist squad #negan fic #negan smut #negan x reader #jdm #jeffrey dean morgan #the walking dead #twd #negan fanfiction #negan fic requests #the walking dead negan #negan requests #fic requests #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction #fanfic #mykie writes

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: what are you doing tonight? Jimmy: the answer is saving my life, if you need a clue but Janis: dramatic Janis: but I do know first aid so 👍 Janis: should be good? Jimmy: dress like you're going to dinner with a casual racist, his fancy woman & some unloved kids then meet me at my house for Ian's clocking off time Jimmy: alright? Janis: oh no Janis: really? Janis: it's your birthday, Ian, could do anything you want Jimmy: he's been there done that, we skipped it Jimmy: but my postcard did arrive so 👍 Janis: it's nice he missed me and all but Janis: ick Janis: alright Jimmy: you ain't actually invited by him Jimmy: just me Jimmy: don't be too 💔 Janis: shh Janis: such a hater Janis: do you actually want me to dress like a respectful church girl or am I meant to come full slut, like what's your vibe here Jimmy: bring a bag big enough to stuff the 🐶 in, she is & she'll wreck the place quicker than even Bob could do Jimmy: as for what you wear, express yourself, babe Janis: 😂 Janis: is that white people code for ethnic Janis: bit #problematic Jimmy: there's no code Jimmy: or dress code Jimmy: you hate him, you know what to do Jimmy: it ain't what we wear that matters Janis: but miraculously, I don't completely hate you Janis: not tryna fuck it up in the wrong ways, like Jimmy: he can't stab me with a salad fork or do me over with a corkscrew in the middle of a restaurant Jimmy: gutted for him Janis: political correctness gone mad Janis: but true Jimmy: we'll leave before his girlfriend does so he can't say or do owt Jimmy: don't worry Janis: trust he's not hit you yet then for going AWOL Janis: not very family-friendly Jimmy: she was here when I got in so nah Jimmy: maybe she'll move herself proper & really fuck his life up Janis: 💕 Jimmy: it'd be a first but he's one year closer to 💀 & that's at least 20 off by northern standards Janis: might've been hasty, not having you around to raise them for a whole week Janis: rush her up the aisle, Ian Jimmy: he don't have a shotgun license 💔 too 😭😭 to be allowed Jimmy: unlucky dad Jimmy: he could try knocking her up but she ain't that much younger than him so Janis: grim Janis: happens sometimes Janis: not putting it past my mother to have a last hurrah Jimmy: don't Jimmy: I ain't raising no baby for him Jimmy: got enough on Janis: she'll have to at least do the breatfeeding bit Janis: pull your weight, evil stepmum Jimmy: 🍼 as soon as Jimmy: that's how we were all churned out Jimmy: no hippies here Janis: brave, the health visitors practically crucify you for that Jimmy: like he's bothered Jimmy: parent of the year 🏆 Janis: all this talk of babies is giving me ptsd Jimmy: shut up then Jimmy: I need to be able to touch you later Janis: charming chat as ever Jimmy: 💕 Janis: good thing you don't need it Janis: already miss you so Jimmy: if you need it you know I will Jimmy: I miss you too Janis: not gonna make you seduce me in your hour of need, babe Jimmy: it ain't all about him though Jimmy: I wanna see you Janis: I know Janis: it's been so shit being back Janis: worse than I reckoned Jimmy: & so quick Jimmy: I thought we'd have time to take a fucking breather at least Janis: yeah Janis: no chance Janis: nan had to kick mum out earlier it was such a farce Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: I didn't even ask Jimmy: sorry Janis: no big, I ain't asked how work was either Janis: I wouldn't speak to her, did my best not to listen either so meh Jimmy: still Jimmy: we don't have to do this Jimmy: now or ever Janis: I wanna Janis: not like, this is exactly how I'd choose to spend my saturday nights wanna Janis: but if you have to then I'm gonna Jimmy: I get it, you wanna see what Bob chooses when I let him dress himself no saying nah to nowt Jimmy: same Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm sure it'll beat whatever the fuck dad of the year would put him in Jimmy: he'll probably wear something of mine & whatever you've left on my floor Jimmy: he don't hate us for going like Cass does Janis: how pissed is she Janis: like do I need to wear protection from salad forks too Jimmy: not as bad as she was when she worked out mum was gone Jimmy: but as close as I've seen her Janis: shit Janis: like, knew she would but still Janis: how are you making it up to her, got a plan yet? Jimmy: I don't know where or how to start Jimmy: my room is trashed which is 👍 Janis: 😕 Janis: we'll brainstorm Jimmy: & I don't mean Gracie don't know what to wear, I mean my door won't close 'cause it's been booted Jimmy: tah for stepping in on that one, Ian Jimmy: A+ parenting Jimmy: bribes ain't gonna work this time Janis: might've helped Janis: the mature response Janis: we'll think of something, swear Jimmy: wouldn't be surprised Jimmy: like I won't be when nowt works to sort this Jimmy: playing happy families with whoever the fuck she is ain't gonna help Janis: I'm sorry Janis: I shouldn't have let you come Jimmy: you'd be sorry if you tried to stop me Janis: 🔪or 😭 Jimmy: I'm serious Jimmy: I wanted to come Jimmy: I needed to Janis: I know Jimmy: I can't be her brother, her mum & her fucking dad Jimmy: she's old enough to get it Janis: yeah, but she ain't old enough to leave herself Janis: like I get it Janis: when my brothers and sisters got to leave I hated them Jimmy: & I get it Jimmy: I hate my mum for that Janis: yeah Janis: but you came back Janis: so she can't stay mad forever Jimmy: it don't mean shit when she knows I wanna go again Jimmy: that I will Janis: you're not gonna just desert them though Jimmy: how she sees it is I don't love her enough to stay which makes me as bad as my mum Jimmy: worse 'cause I was there for that Janis: she knows it's more complicated than that though too Janis: even if she hates you for that it's still true Jimmy: yeah but she also ain't cut her hair since 'cause she got one the day before Jimmy: she's a kid still Janis: yeah Janis: so are you Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: I don't get to be Janis: how long can you cope with being mum, dad and brother so she gets to keep being one, even a bit Jimmy: as long as I have to Janis: okay then Janis: then we'll find a way to make her believe and know that Jimmy: easy to say Jimmy: fuck knows how we're gonna do it Janis: well no Janis: but we got time Janis: she ain't beyond hope yet Jimmy: can you just Jimmy: be here now Janis: um not to be a dickhead but not right now Janis: give me about half an hour, then I can Jimmy: okay Janis: had to go home, ain't I Janis: got fuck all here Jimmy: I would buy you new shit to avoid that Jimmy: you should've said Janis: nah, it's fine, I can be stealth Jimmy: such an athlete yeah I know Jimmy: always going on about it you Janis: you know you ain't been complaining Jimmy: only 'cause you'd fight me & you're so 💪 Jimmy: can't handle the loss right now Janis: better shh then, boy Jimmy: alright Janis: you know we ain't taking nothing but Ws tonight Jimmy: yeah Janis: teamwork Janis: okay Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: I ain't forgot Janis: it'll be shit but for him too Janis: realistically the best I can offer Jimmy: shitter for him than the rest of us is all I want Janis: 👍 Janis: lbr, me being there = night ruined so Janis: anything else is 🍒 Jimmy: it'll be interesting to see how he tries to handle you being there when she is Janis: gotta ascertain if she too, is a casual racist, I suppose Jimmy: Cass wants to bring her mate & he ain't white either so Jimmy: you're getting close to surrounded, Ian 💔 Janis: and when you're the foreigner Janis: headfuck Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: what would buble do, dad? ask yourself Jimmy: already accepted him as his lord & savior Janis: is he a racist Janis: damn Janis: what a loss 💔 Jimmy: don't you have like a little book of racists in your house Jimmy: I was hoping you'd know Jimmy: should cover the 'celebs' at least Janis: a who's who of who to avoid Janis: sadly not Janis: how 'woke' are you now, lads Jimmy: gap in the market there Jimmy: crack on, babe Jimmy: get even richer Janis: what you chattin' Janis: omw to getting disowned here Jimmy: all the more reason to get busy with it then Jimmy: I ain't funding no #lavish life Janis: 😱 Jimmy: should've backed Pete 🐎 Jimmy: be his groupie by now if you'd grafted Janis: well you did kind of ruin that for me Jimmy: well I'm giving you a second chance Jimmy: 🎣 him from the CG I have Jimmy: I know how to graft Janis: yeah? Jimmy: he starts next week Jimmy: get your shit together Janis: I bet you just told him there was fit girls that work there Janis: who am I to ruin his job satisfaction Jimmy: It ain't my fault he'll be 😍 for my esteemed pink haired colleague after one shift Janis: 😒 Janis: shut up Jimmy: come on, he's actually got a type Jimmy: & when he hears her sing he'll be 🤤 Janis: I said shut up Janis: so rude Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: get some vocal coaching & a box dye Jimmy: you've got time Janis: I can sing fine Janis: it's not hard Jimmy: me too but fine ain't 🤤🤤 Jimmy: you've got the nose ring already that's 1 point Janis: 😑 Janis: don't test me 'cos I have to come Jimmy: do yourself a tattoo while you're home you'll be well away Janis: I'm ignoring you now Janis: good day Jimmy: so mean you Jimmy: I'm being well helpful towards getting you on Pete Janis: you gave me false hope then snatched it away, you mean Jimmy: how? Janis: oh pete's gonna work with me again oh wait I've lowkey whored a bitch out for it Janis: 😒👌 Jimmy: you said that, I never Jimmy: she's got a boyfriend remember Janis: and he had a girlfriend, last I heard Janis: what's that matter, obviously Jimmy: I like working with 'em both Jimmy: that's it Jimmy: let me have my #dreamteam Janis: save me the love letter Janis: you're gross Jimmy: but I wanna write you one Jimmy: bit rude Janis: no you don't Janis: you wanna write pete and whatserface one on the back of a to-go Janis: you massive 🤓 Jimmy: yeah I do & no I don't Jimmy: if I tried to write one on their skin the way I do to you, I'd get sacked for a start Jimmy: or need a longer break than I'm allowed Janis: 💀 Jimmy: baby Jimmy: come on Janis: don't baby me, dickhead Jimmy: please be my BFF again 💕 Janis: literally have never been your bff Janis: Twix's only Jimmy: 😱 I'm wearing my half of the necklace right now Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: wounded me Janis: lied for the jewellery and I'll do it again Janis: kinda girl I am Jimmy: brutal you Janis: you started it Jimmy: I started nowt Jimmy: like I told you, I was trying to help you ride Pete off into the sunset Janis: mhmm Jimmy: scroll up if your memory's gone Janis: my memory is fine Janis: you want him to be your work bff Jimmy: just 'cause they both annoy me less than the 99% of other colleagues and customers I ain't gonna buy them necklaces & form a #squad Janis: likely story Janis: 👍 Janis: got form, you Jimmy: you don't count Jimmy: broke all my normal rules for you Janis: really Jimmy: obviously Janis: hmm Jimmy: you know it, don't be pretending you need to think on it Janis: hold on Janis: I'm here, wish me 🍀 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: not that you should need it Jimmy: 🥇 at being stealth or not Janis: [suitable amount of time later] Janis: ugh Janis: they're being so extra right now but I styled it out and took as much shit as I could so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be with you now then Jimmy: okay Janis: that was fun Janis: do you think my nan and granddad will let me stay 'til we can go Jimmy: you can stay here if not Janis: who's gonna 🔪 me in my sleep first, like Jimmy: they'll get me first it's alright Janis: oh so I have to watch you die, lovely Jimmy: already 👻 me remember Janis: fair, he really would keel over if we pretend I need to move in 'cos my fucked up family Janis: no styling that rage out Jimmy: I'm not pretending Jimmy: you can Janis: shit's gonna be hard enough with Cass for you, I ain't gonna do that Janis: but thanks Jimmy: shit's always hard Jimmy: stay with me Janis: we're always together anyway Janis: we'll work it out Jimmy: I'll get a bigger bed if you want Janis: you're so Janis: stop Janis: probably should for the sake of your back Janis: to be fair Jimmy: say you'll stay Janis: okay Janis: I'll stay Jimmy: you promise yeah Janis: I promise Janis: 'less your Da literally calls garda or something Jimmy: alright then Jimmy: 'cause he won't Jimmy: too shit scared I'll let 'em know that he smacks me about Janis: and he needs you to wanna stick about, like it or not Janis: fuck it Janis: you want me to, yeah Jimmy: I ain't only saying it for you Jimmy: I'm that dickhead Janis: I love that dickhead Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you so fucking much Jimmy: it's gonna be alright, like it'll be shit but I'll make it okay too Janis: me too Janis: I'll get a job and all and we can save and yeah Jimmy: I'll get another job Jimmy: now I ain't on the clock as your fake boyfriend I can have two again Janis: lowkey feels like you're just tryna best me but okay 😏 Janis: #illget3 Jimmy: I have loads of money saved from before & now Jimmy: some of its for the kids but Jimmy: not all of it is Janis: yeah? Janis: we can make this work Janis: I ain't just saying it Jimmy: me either Jimmy: I promise Jimmy: I'll show you when you get here, there is loads but I've not counted it properly for ages Jimmy: be that nerd for me, tah Janis: do my best Janis: should've probably paid more attention in maths but remember that much Jimmy: my northern education don't go beyond counting to 10 so Jimmy: have a better crack than me Jimmy: need my #dreamteam to hand out the change Janis: 😂 Janis: poor boy Janis: not to be fucking depressing about it but Janis: this is the first time I've felt Janis: hopeful Janis: since Janis: yeah Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: you know I do Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: I'm not gonna let you down, I swear Janis: I know loads of stuff is still fucked but Janis: it's like Janis: not entirely helpless, with you, us Jimmy: loads of stuff is always gonna be fucked but I'll make you happy still Janis: you do Janis: that's all I wanna do for you too Jimmy: you do Jimmy: I don't know how to explain how fucking massive it is that I even wanna do that for you, never mind that you can do it for me Jimmy: without sounding like a dickhead Jimmy: but I'd given up ages ago on that Janis: yeah Janis: I get it Janis: I really didn't like anyone, you know Janis: it's the truth Jimmy: I know Janis: but you just Janis: I dunno why it happened or how Jimmy: It don't matter Jimmy: I'm just glad Jimmy: I didn't like anyone either, I don't Jimmy: I love the kids but I also hate them 'cause of everything they make me do Janis: understandable, think anyone would Janis: in your shoes Jimmy: there's no room for like in that Janis: no time either Jimmy: even when I thought I loved my ex I didn't like her loads of the time Jimmy: couldn't Jimmy: she was just Janis: not enough of a dickhead? Jimmy: too much of one Janis: colour me offended Jimmy: she was just another mess for me Jimmy: you've never been that Janis: but if I move in Janis: won't I be doing that Jimmy: I take care of you, you take care of me Jimmy: it's mutual Jimmy: not like here's my mess carry it for me while we pretend you ain't holding your own too Janis: yeah Janis: okay Janis: that makes sense Jimmy: I can't remember her asking me a question Jimmy: about me I mean Janis: known plenty of people like that Janis: I guess, you wanted that, at first, yeah Janis: easier Jimmy: yeah except nobody else does either Jimmy: just you Jimmy: you asked me why I don't answer 'em there's the answer to that Janis: yeah Janis: well I am a notoriously nosey bitch so Janis: never stop, me Jimmy: I like it Jimmy: you Janis: good Janis: don't fancy sharing a single bed if you don't, tbh Janis: awkward Jimmy: I said I'll get a bigger one, don't need to beg Janis: 😏 Janis: I hear you though, you know Janis: even if I ask questions and then don't know what to say back Janis: I still give a shit about the answer Jimmy: even when my mum was about she never asked me how I was or school or nowt like that Jimmy: at least you try Janis: fucked, really Janis: that's what fills live up, the questions, however boring or throwaway Janis: for normal people, like Jimmy: nobody in my fucked up family wants the answers Jimmy: even Bobby knows not to ask and he's 6 Janis: then it gets so you only talk when something unavoidably fucked has happened Jimmy: or not even then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: yeah Janis: hm Jimmy: just preparing you for what a barrel of laughs it's gonna be for you living at my house Janis: don't worry Janis: not like I won't fit right in Janis: so much you're gonna be booting me out sharpish Jimmy: never Jimmy: if you're going, I'm going Janis: promise Jimmy: I'll swear on owt you want Jimmy: Ian's balding head Jimmy: Cass' growing rage Jimmy: name it Janis: 😂 Janis: I love you, Jimmy Jimmy: 'course you do Jimmy: best boyfriend ever Janis: mhmm Janis: I see no lie Jimmy: as soon as we get a bigger bed we're gonna have a kid & a dog in it & be no better off Jimmy: that's what I'm seeing Janis: you just scared the shit out of me 'til I realized who you meant Janis: well you know Janis: least they still love us Janis: gotta keep 'em on side Jimmy: inviting 'em off the street, in you come lads 👌 Janis: also no, but that is about as batshit an idea, yeah Jimmy: batshit'd be right Jimmy: that's my life, girl Jimmy: welcome & tah for the RSVP Janis: 😏 Janis: least it's different from my own Jimmy: get famous off the comic strip won't I & you'll really love me then Janis: that is what I'm after Janis: fame and money Jimmy: your #thirst for Pete is blatant so I'm aware Janis: firstly I loved him before I knew he was in a band Janis: and he'll never be famous or rich, he's the bassist Janis: how many bassists do you know Jimmy: 1 & that's him Jimmy: but I'm antisocial that don't count Janis: exactly, it's him and Paul friggin McCartney Janis: who I would never bang Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: he was the bassist Janis: right Janis: you didn't even know Janis: proves my point Jimmy: fuck me Jimmy: my world is rocked Jimmy: & not by his bass notes Janis: I know, it's less clout than the drummer Janis: at least at a glance you can tell the difference between a drum and a guitar Jimmy: I'd only fuck George always or Ringo now 👴💕 not that you asked Jimmy: bit rude Janis: I'm sorry but I respect your choices Janis: probably would John 'cos he was a massive dickhead and just my type so Jimmy: I ain't growing my hair for you Jimmy: will stay in bed though Janis: will need that bigger bed Janis: they were not doing that in a single Janis: fuck peace then, eh lads Jimmy: what else do we need in my room though really Jimmy: floordrobe Jimmy: done Janis: exactly Janis: my life is in this bag Janis: was gonna find a squat for you, not that picky Jimmy: just train the dog not to piss on it all & we're 👌 Janis: genuine q Janis: what are we doing for a door tonight Janis: as yours is fucked Jimmy: shit Jimmy: maybe we can bodge it some way Janis: yeah, sure we can Janis: i'm a pro Janis: my brother is always breaking things, doors included Jimmy: but like if we're got the kid & the dog in, Ian's downstairs & Cass is probably pretending I drowned at the beach so Jimmy: not as much of an issue as it sounds Janis: true true Jimmy: which brother Jimmy: the deaf one Jimmy: or the other one Janis: other one Janis: kind of a savage, don't tell Ian Janis: he'll be buzzing Jimmy: he would love that Jimmy: so secret's safe Janis: so many stereotypes being met Janis: thanks lads Jimmy: he asked Cass if she was a lesbian Jimmy: might also be a homophobe Jimmy: we're doing great here ourselves Janis: 👍 Janis: only one of ours is Janis: some of the others say they're bi but you can ignore that 'cos it's not real Jimmy: 🤞 she is to fuck him off Jimmy: he calls Bobby by girls names all the time 'cause he says he is like a girl for crying & shit Jimmy: give the man another 🏆 Janis: ain't old enough to be claiming that shit as generational Janis: no matter how northern you are Jimmy: our kid has got loads to cry about Jimmy: I say let him Janis: why not Janis: save a fortune on doors Jimmy: think it through Ian Janis: does it help Jimmy: what Janis: crying Janis: do you think Jimmy: it don't do fuck all for me Jimmy: but nowt does other than you Jimmy: still happens sometimes Jimmy: you just Janis: can't help it Jimmy: or you think maybe it'll help just that once even though you know it's bollocks Janis: and what do you have to lose Jimmy: exactly nowt Jimmy: like I'm gonna call Ian's bird mum all night, don't have to remember her name & get to make it weird Janis: oh God Janis: that is funny, even though I should feel sympathy 'cos you did that to me Jimmy: if you wanna sit next to her & commiserate about the Taylor's, go on Jimmy: not stopping you Janis: gonna find out how well suited she is to Ian first Janis: but tah Janis: love some #sisterhoodsolidarity me Jimmy: as long as you still sit next to me Jimmy: do what you want Janis: obviously Jimmy: I'm not doing your sister's double dating seating plan bollocks Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't Jimmy: if I can't touch you under the table I'm not staying sat down Jimmy: hill I'm dying on tonight Janis: damn Janis: noble cause Jimmy: there's only so many 🚬 breaks we can take even if they do annoy the birthday boy Janis: don't he smoke? Jimmy: he's a hypocrite of course Janis: he could quit any time yeah Janis: ugh Jimmy: he might do for her 🤞 the damage is already done Jimmy: if I get cancer & he don't, fuming Janis: my God won't let that happen Jimmy: your god that don't exist yeah Janis: that's the one Jimmy: 👌 Janis: he don't wanna upset me Janis: trust Jimmy: that's just good sense Jimmy: your bad side is like Jimmy: I ain't even finishing the sentence is how it is Janis: wise Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come here I need you Janis: I'm near Janis: couple more stops I think Jimmy: but be nearer Janis: I'll take over the bus, hold on Jimmy: good Jimmy: it's about time Janis: what am I like Janis: not appreciating you at all rn Jimmy: anyone would think you were still faking it Jimmy: no effort Janis: no one ever thought I was faking it Janis: 'cept you Jimmy: I didn't Jimmy: I've told you loads of times you weren't that good, babe Janis: 😑 oh please Janis: you thought I hated you Jimmy: please what, pretend that you didn't want me so badly & it was so obvious Janis: UGH Janis: turning this bus 'round Janis: gonna do the normal route, like Jimmy: you won't Jimmy: nowt's changed you still want me so badly & it's still so obvious Janis: shut up Janis: least I weren't that obvious Janis: could've got in real trouble, perv Jimmy: you weren't that obvious to who, baby? Janis: I hate you 😣 Jimmy: so much, I know Janis: hmpf Janis: like you were so 😎 dickhead Jimmy: always am Janis: 👌 Jimmy: go on, when weren't I Janis: when have you ever been? 🤔 Janis: real question Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: you were mean first Jimmy: still waiting for you to give me an actual example of me ever not being 😎 as fuck Janis: I don't know why you wanna be mortified Janis: by your shameless past thirst Jimmy: I know why you can't think of one & you're playing for time Janis: might not have been that long but you've packed in loads of 🤓 Jimmy: sounds like an excuse that Jimmy: no shame in not being able to come up with one Janis: 🙄 Janis: what about every time I've beat you at everything Janis: for starters Jimmy: letting you win is #goals & therefore 😎 Janis: you ain't once Janis: liar liar Jimmy: that's what you think 'cause I'm good at faking it, unlike you, babe Janis: firstly you were awful at it Janis: why do you think it went by the wayside so fast Janis: secondly how do you know I'm not still faking it #longcon Jimmy: I told you, 'cause you wanted me so bad & it was so obvious Jimmy: which is the same reason I know you ain't faking nowt now Janis: the Lord is testing me Janis: thought this dinner was meant to be the hard part Jimmy: I said you were hot from the off, that's how 😎 I am, alright Janis: peppered in with many, many insults Janis: sure Jimmy: I meant them as well like Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 💋🍑 Jimmy: 😂 Janis: such a pisstake Jimmy: you love it Janis: hmm Jimmy: & me Janis: yeah Janis: more fool me Jimmy: it's a top move, smart girl Janis: you sound like a teacher Janis: not a mood Jimmy: but I don't have coffee breath & I'm here to meet you off the bus so Janis: it's a start 😏 Jimmy: you'll know when I start Janis: I hate it when you're right Janis: even a little Jimmy: no you don't Janis: 😩 Jimmy: me knowing what I'm doing is as good for you as it is for me Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: fuck Janis: [off the bus like hey] Jimmy: [picks her up to get her away from the other people getting off like excuse us] Janis: ['they might think this is a grabbing, you know'] Jimmy: ['I'll take my chances either way' sits down on the bus shelter seat with her in his lap like always so a make out can ensue] Janis: [telling him how much she's missed him in between breaths 'cos always true and saying how bad she wants him 'cos true now] Jimmy: [he can't look at her because he's been crying on & off throughout this day & convo cos he's soft & it's been a one but hiding that as best he can with extra kisses & touches & words spoken into her neck or shoulder or wherever] Janis: [all the comforting touches and holding him so tight with all the ilys ever] Jimmy: [saying it back & trying to pull her closer to him than he's probably ever, soz about it] Janis: [touching his face and looking right at him like 'you're so perfect for me'] Jimmy: [says 'you' but the softest & quietest] Janis: ['you, baby' hugging him like it's been a lifetime 'cos today lowkey has] Jimmy: [the tightest & longest hug they both need with soft kisses that get less because like you said, what a day & desperation is allowed] Janis: ['please tell me we've got time to be alone one last time, like'] Jimmy: [nods because he'd make time if they didn't] Janis: [soft but needy moan into his mouth 'cos you know, thank God] Jimmy: [literally does whatever he can to make her do that again because] Janis: [saying his name over and over under her breath] Jimmy: [says 'fuck' but we know its a moan really who are we kidding boy] Janis: ['please'] Jimmy: [shamelessly going as hard as he can here & now 'cause he don't wanna move yet & lbr they've done more public places at this point] Janis: [soz world but they need to so, not even soz for how much noise she's barely toning down here] Jimmy: [likewise him cos when is he ever chill about anything] Janis: ['this is- you're everything'] Jimmy: [gives her so many 'you' s & her name like shh but don't] Janis: [when this just encourages you to go harder but at least you're bitey so you aren't as loud] Jimmy: [and what you give you get back so we're all having a good time] Janis: ['make me cum, I couldn't without you earlier, I was so...'] Jimmy: [can always go harder & will because what more encouragement could he need honestly] Janis: ['scuse her, now all the neighbours probs know his name] Jimmy: [excuse him because intense eye contact forever & he's not being any more subtle so] Janis: ['you're actually killing me'] Jimmy: ['I know you can take it'] Janis: [unholy noises] Jimmy: [being even more extra like see, I told you you could handle this & also this] Janis: ['Baby'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' the most intense kissing ever because why not thanks bye] Janis: [the most needy kiss she'd have ever lbr and clinging onto his neck] Jimmy: [the most important of ILYs after] Janis: ['I love you the most anyone has loved anyone ever'] Jimmy: [has to just kiss her & hold onto her because the emotions bitch] Janis: ['I lost count though'] Jimmy: ['I don't mind'] Janis: ['doesn't bode well for my accountancy career but it was mostly your fault so'] Jimmy: [little lol] Janis: [smiling 'no one has ever felt this good, just me'] Jimmy: ['what about me?'] Janis: ['I hope it feels even half as good for you too'] Jimmy: [is just smiles & heart eyes cos obvs & god bless these two] Janis: [snuggles for a time 'come on then, let's go fuck shit up'] Jimmy: [tries to snuggle in more/shamelessly hide cos doesn't want to] Janis: ['I know, baby but it'll be alright, promise.'] Jimmy: [starts kissing her anywhere & everywhere so she won't wanna go either cos cheeky like that. 'it's alright here'] Janis: ['It's more than alright' the but don't need to be said 'cos duh 'when do we have to go?'] Jimmy: [keeps being very distracting but gives her a vague answer like 'we're got ages'] Janis: [is dubious but ain't that bothered obvs 'fashionably late is fine but can see your house from here so'] Jimmy: [carries on because trying to make a round 2 happen here as if they don't have somewhere to be. 'All I'm bothered about is if they can hear us from here.'] Janis: [has to kiss him 'cos the noise is too real] Jimmy: [so many kisses because he's such a clingy bitch we know & it's only slightly less needy than before obvs] Janis: ['I love you'] Jimmy: [says it back of course & how much he does] Janis: ['why the fuck do I wanna cry though?' is loling but hiding too] Jimmy: 'Baby'[makes her look at him because hands in her hair but gently though. 'Today's been...' he don't need to finish that sentence cos we know. 'it's alright'] Janis: [pulls his hands to her lips and kisses them, before moving them down 'cos wants to forget that moment ever happened and fast] Jimmy: [that's fine by him cos he's done enough crying for everyone today thanks] Janis: [enough talking yo] Jimmy: [enjoy lads cos its downhill from here cos actually do have somewhere to be in a bit] Janis: ['I need to get changed' whilst making no effort to move] Jimmy: [him too obviously but shrugs and just keeps snuggling until his phone rings. He don't answer it but we know who it is & why] Janis: [leaves it 'til the second ring before getting up, pulling him up with her] Jimmy: [handholding on the short walk back to his & as soon as he gets there it's time to sit on the doorstep & 🚬 cos we're gonna make Ian late & annoyed kids] Janis: [goes in and gets changed, awkward, least Twix and Bobby will be vaguely happy to see her] Jimmy: [eventually comes in & gets Bobby sorted out with whatever his hilarious outfit is gonna be, taking his time & even playing with Twix cos that's the mood] Janis: [comes down in some bomb Ian angering lewk and joins in] Jimmy: [is obviously distracted by how fucking good she looks excuse him] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [😏] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [is a mixture of 😍 & 😳] Jimmy: you look Janis: idk what's pissing him off more, your reaction or the actual 'fit Jimmy: either way 🥇 Jimmy: any chance you packed a dress for me, that'd really wind him up Jimmy: or skirt, not fussy me Janis: 😂 Janis: you'd look hot Janis: he's just jealous Jimmy: he'd 🔪🔪 for these legs, babe Jimmy: so did you or am I gonna have to find the most 'fuck you dad!' outfit from my own wardrobe Janis: have a look what takes your fancy, babe Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: you coming or staying with 💕🐶 Janis: coming, obvs Janis: 🐶 probs gonna come too though Jimmy: [picks Twix up and carries her like a baby because we're annoying Ian not cos he loves her or anything shhh] Jimmy: let's go then Janis: [takes picture 'cos ha got you and 😍] Jimmy: [puts that little pup on his bed & flops down too cos don't wanna do this but she's loving him cos good egg] Janis: [comes and lies down with 'em, just stroking his hair but Twix gets jealous so also loving upon her, 'course] Janis: [oh idea, it should be the club outfit for the throwback feels 'cos not just about killing you, Ian] Jimmy: [little group snuggle pause cos they need it] Jimmy: alright fuck this Jimmy: [still hasn't moved even though] Janis: come on Janis: make yourself look fit or ridiculous Janis: that's the choices Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [finally does start getting ready because have to at some point] Janis: [just perving and chilling, gets a messages but ignores it] Jimmy: [comes back to the bed as soon as because she really does look GOOD and it's distracting so make out session much to Twix's annoyance soz pup] Janis: ['good choice, babe'] Jimmy: [before he can answer the front door slams which means Cass is also back which is gonna be fun for all the fam] Janis: [squeezes his hand comfortingly] Janis: here we go Jimmy: [everyone can hear her kicking off at Ian downstairs so obviously he has to get up & go sort that leaving her with Twix and Bobby who has also come in cos not about this drama] Jimmy: one sec Janis: 🍀 Janis: [just having a chat with Bobs about the fam 'cos he loves and it's not painful at all lol] Jimmy: [just can hear everyone shouting for a bit which is delightful & then Cass comes upstairs & slams her bedroom door & he comes back up not long after] Jimmy: [gets busy immediately making sure Bob is alright cos what else can he do or say like] Janis: [is realistically even less use and defs gonna keep quiet 'cos no comment needed rn] Janis: need a sec? I can go 🚬 Jimmy: he's alright Jimmy: that's round one Jimmy: loads more to go Jimmy: [tells him to go get Twix a treat though to keep them both busy] Janis: 👍 Janis: his blood pressures already through the roof looks of, no one's lasting 'til dessert, like Jimmy: oh didn't I tell you the plan was 🔪💀 Janis: didn't Janis: and bit rude to spring murder spree on a girl but 👌 Janis: I'm down Jimmy: one bloke ain't a spree, my love Jimmy: but alright we'll hit your house next & make it one Jimmy: since you're down Janis: so pedantic always, my dear Janis: but such a romantic with it 😍 Jimmy: we'll be getting the summons to head off soon Jimmy: let's go 🚬 Janis: aye aye Jimmy: [carries her down the stairs cos if it winds up Twix it annoys Ian & off they go outside] Janis: [is 😏 'til they outside] Janis: ['you're gonna do your back in, you know'] Jimmy: ['you ain't that heavy, calm down' & he proves it by sitting her back on his lap cos fave & they both need the closeness to get through this shitshow] Janis: [rests her head on his chest so she can hear his heartbeat, 'why are parents the worst people in the world?'] Jimmy: ['might just be ours' & shrugs then lights a 🚬 but not his own yet cos obvious a bit in his thoughts like] Janis: [shakes head but just smokes in silence for a bit, 'Mia should have a kid, or make one of her underlings who is still physically able, like'] Jimmy: ['you're gonna wanna take that back 'cause you know she'd ask your sister & make you be auntie to it'] Janis: *[makes puking motion, 'not being an auntie to the actual ones that exist, never mind satan's spawn'] Jimmy: [does 👍 IRL] Janis: ['is Cass' mate coming or?'] Jimmy: [shakes his head. 'Dad of the year said no'] Janis: [tuts like 'course, 'shoulda just showed up, kid'] Jimmy: ['if you want your thunder stolen, girl, yeah'] Janis: ['obviously not, massive attention seeker, me' gestures at the outfit 'cos ur welcome, Ian and Mrs Ian 'but you know, might get her in a slightly better mood, 'cos that I can't do right now'] Jimmy: [can't help staring cos she's drawn attention to how fucking hot she is again so don't mind him he's shamelessly 🤤 like has he even heard the 2nd bit of what she said lol] Janis: [pushes him, but gently 'cos don't also wanna fall here 'don't disagree then, dickhead! actually fishing there, for once'] Jimmy: [is looking at her like ?? cos was too distracted to even, soz bout it] Janis: ['least do something about it if you're gonna look at me like that, boy'] Jimmy: [a kiss like he wanted to give her when she first wore this outfit but obviously couldn't so] Janis: [is now the one shamelessly 🤤 don't get too comfortable lads, does the blowback thing to him this time for them mems too] Jimmy: [so much intense eye contact when he's not also staring at her lips or her body like somebody stop him you can't hook up again here & now lads there isn't time or opportunity but damn] Janis: [makes frustrated noise and pushes him again, still gentle, but mad about it] Jimmy: [kisses her again to try & get some of the frustration out cos same girl but not really gonna help is it boy] Janis: ['this is gonna be the longest night ever, isn't it'] Jimmy: [nods because all he can do in his frustrated state & also all he has chance to go cos finally time to go so there's that interruption I imagine Ian's girlfriend awkwardly appearing like 'ahem'] Jimmy: [okay so the idea is JJ go with her cos they'd need two cars to fit everyone & that way they can be basically alone cos ignoring the gf when Ian ain't there plus if Jimmy was in a car with his dad they'd get killed/end up in a car wreck + this way it's more 'fun' for Ian cos Bobby would be whinging since he's JJ's biggest fan & Cass would be annoyed that he's being annoying on top of the mood she's already in. Enjoy fella} Jimmy: [oh & I nearly forgot he sends her a fire sext as they are getting in cos the combination of sexual frustration + that outfit is such a throwback so it's like everything he would've done then & everything he's gonna do cos she's his now so basically the hottest one to date not soz] Janis: [just dying in this lady's car like] Janis: really Janis: first you spring a spree on me Janis: now you straight up kill me Janis: and just Jimmy: [just know he is sitting in the middle so he's closer to her to be that dickhead & also doesn't have his seatbelt on which is blatantly gonna make this poor woman be like 'ahem' again when her car alerts her at some point but for now, gotta use the extra movement available to kiss her neck & collarbones cos they are so #exposed in that top & if you wanna talk about dying babe like & also touching her boobs cos they're also out I remember, excuse me lady] Jimmy: not yet Jimmy: but it can be a 💀💕 note yeah, 'cause it is my masterpiece Jimmy: if you want Janis: you are so Janis: 😣 Jimmy: go on, compliment me Jimmy: what do you wanna say Janis: you're the biggest dickhead I've ever met Jimmy: cute 💕 Jimmy: so romantic you Janis: don't call me cute 😡 Jimmy: or what you're gonna fight me Jimmy: have a go, she ain't my mum but she might turn this car around Janis: yeah I wish Janis: not that 🍀 Jimmy: yeah you are Jimmy: [points at himself like you got me cos such a nerd] Janis: how are you the same person Janis: does someone ghostwrite your sexts for you Janis: and can I meet 'em Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: [puts his seatbelt on cos 1. the poor woman be like can you just & 2. offended at the bae being rude] Janis: hey Jimmy: ? Jimmy: [is doing a pouty face exaggerated] Janis: baby Janis: [cups his chins] Jimmy: [kisses her cos can't even pretend he don't wanna] Janis: [how painful it'd be to not go hard rn, 'scuse you lady] Jimmy: [he would anyway cos lowkey forget she exists soz woman] Janis: [having to be like no no for your own sake 'fore it gets too real] Jimmy: [at least it isn't a long car ride] Janis: you're mean you are Jimmy: I'm nice me Jimmy: what are you on about Janis: nope Janis: starting things you can't finish Janis: rude Jimmy: we can finish Jimmy: just be quiet Jimmy: easy, yeah Janis: 😑 Jimmy: you're really gonna turn down such a simple challenge right now Jimmy: 👌 girl Janis: I didn't say no, did I Jimmy: still waiting for the yeah though, aren't I Janis: now he's being considerate Jimmy: you trying to outmean me when I ain't even being Jimmy: top one, babe Jimmy: 🏆🏆🏆 Janis: I am not Janis: you'd know if I was being mean, babe Jimmy: just come here Janis: [when are you not on his lap] Jimmy: [eyes on the road lady you don't need to see none of this] Janis: I missed you Jimmy: I missed you more Janis: [shakes head] Jimmy: [nods] Jimmy: Can't you feel how much Janis: [makes little noise despite trying really hard not to] Janis: Baby, please Jimmy: [kisses her so he don't make any noise himself except into her mouth cos he's not as good at this we know] Janis: you meant it, yeah Janis: when you said you'd touch me under the table Jimmy: I don't say shit I don't mean Jimmy: not even to piss him off Janis: good Janis: 'cos I want you, not just to piss him off Jimmy: [more kissing & touching cos he wants her too literally always & Ian ain't even here rn] Jimmy: I love you, not just 'cause it pisses him off Janis: I know Janis: not that good an actor, babe Jimmy: [is being saucy as hell] Jimmy: let's see how good of an actor you are Janis: fucking Janis: fuck Janis: challenge accepted Janis: I've got this Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: [kisses his smirky mouth 'cos] Jimmy: [bites her lip cos needs to bite his own rn really but less fun] Janis: [know for a fact wheever they're going ain't gonna be that far away and you're gonna be even more frustrated] Jimmy: [literally not gonna take a 6 year old on a long drive to a restaurant when they are everywhere are you so think on lads] Janis: [is so grumpy when they gotta get out lmao] Jimmy: [likewise & then literally all I can imagine is them trying to go to the bathroom together when they get there but then Bobby's like I wanna go too so cockblocked] Janis: [from the ladies oh kids] Janis: your brother is cute and everything Janis: but I ain't sharing my dessert with him now Jimmy: he can have mine already lost my appetite when I caught this bird making 😍 at Ian Janis: such a catch Janis: but control yourself, please Janis: have some decorum Jimmy: I give it 10 before Cass bounces a bread roll off both their heads though so Janis: nothing like kids to kill the mood Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: outside it is then he can't follow us to smoke til he's at least Cass' age Janis: your dads gutted his lady is too #classy for that Jimmy: I'll invite him just to watch him have to say no Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I know you are but I'll make it up to you Janis: how, got something stronger on you? 😏 Jimmy: come with me & find out girl Janis: [duh, how rude honestly lads but yolo] Jimmy: [when Ian is fuming and they ain't even looked at the menu yet lol] Janis: [alone at last for however long you can realistically 'fore Ian drags you back in] Jimmy: [at least they don't long with how turned on they both are, you're welcome Ian] Janis: [coming back to the table like it ain't dead obvious ok] Jimmy: [when your dad makes you go up the bar with him to get the drinks so he can have a go at you without his missus hearing lovely] Janis: [the most awkward table ever] Janis: tell him his inside voice could do with some work Janis: heard that bit then Jimmy: I'll give him a smack in a sec that'll shut him up Janis: bars pretty crowded, could say he got elbowed in the face or summin' Jimmy: tah babe Janis: jus' sayin' Janis: back you up Janis: or I could come elbow him in the face Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: go on then Janis: I have changed my mind anyway Janis: defs making it a triple Jimmy: you can also cover me while I pour extra sugar into my brother's juice Janis: 👍 Janis: already blowing her mind over here Jimmy: 'cause he's chatting & she's never heard him before or 'cause he ain't & she thought they were over that bit 💔💔 Janis: first onw Janis: he's missed you Jimmy: & you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: well reckon he can count as my favourite person in this shithole, when you ain't about so Jimmy: mine too Jimmy: unless Barry moves over, of course Janis: well I'll console poor Bobby in that eventuality then Jimmy: & Pete is pretty high on my list of faves, soz our kid Janis: 🙄 I know but if you mention her my elbows are gonna get confused Jimmy: who? Janis: I don't know her name but I can be descriptive if you really want Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: you should've caught it so you could stalk her socials Jimmy: some 🔥 pics of me in my uniform Janis: ignoring you now Janis: goodbye Janis: we're having a great time over here Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: yep Janis: so much fun Jimmy: you ain't got better at faking nowt have you, my love Janis: like I'm here to be being nice and sociable Janis: would have invited your other girlfriend for that Jimmy: yeah I would Jimmy: [comes back with the drinks] Janis: [down it] Jimmy: are you telling me to piss off again or just having that much fun Janis: 🤷 Janis: could be both Jimmy: [downs his drink too] Jimmy: come back up the bar with me then Janis: [does] Jimmy: what do you want, lightweight? Jimmy: don't have to be same again Janis: 'cos mixing is sensible 😏 Janis: whatever though Jimmy: tonight it is Jimmy: & why you're here, like Jimmy: my other girlfriend can hold her drink better Jimmy: no fun for the family in that Janis: look Janis: here to fight Ian, not you Jimmy: then don't Jimmy: [pulls her in for a really good kiss moment] Janis: stop being a dickhead then Jimmy: teamwork Jimmy: I promise Janis: mhmm Jimmy: [kisses her again to prove that he means it] Janis: come on then Jimmy: we could just leg it Jimmy: should Janis: you mean you don't want me to get shitfaced now Janis: make up your mind Jimmy: if you could let me know what kinda drunk you're gonna be Jimmy: I will Jimmy: 🤞 for fun & nice to me Janis: already established that's your other girlfriend, haven't we Jimmy: could be both Janis: why would it be Jimmy: why wouldn't it Jimmy: I'm so nice & fun Janis: [rolls her eyes and starts heading back to the table] Jimmy: [pulls her back cos he is that dramatic. 'Do you want me to get down on my knees in this restaurant too. A fake proposal is just what this family dinner needs & Ian ain't showing no signs of stepping up with his'] Janis: ['do you want me to actually slap you or' pulling him forward like come on] Jimmy: ['been there before & you wouldn't, remember'] Janis: ['well I'm full of surprises'] Jimmy: ['prove it'] Janis: ['I'm no more gonna slap you in the middle of this restaurant than you're gonna fake propose so shut up'] Jimmy: ['then you better say yes 'cause that sounds like a challenge to me, babe & I've never not accepted'] Janis: ['do not'] Jimmy: [is 😏 'you're right I'll do it at the table, more of an impact. Tah babe. You always have top ideas.'] Janis: ['cos you really want your entire fam to witness that L, alright' shaking her head like gimme strength as they go back] Jimmy: [shrugs 'gotta tell them you're moving in anyway, can carry you over the threshold this way, can't I. The romantic in you'll love that.'] Janis: ['how you reckon you're getting a yes and a slap, idiot?'] Jimmy: [I know you so well, Juliet'] Janis: ['you wish'] Jimmy: [shakes his head cos he does know her & we know it & gets comfy in his seat] Janis: [dranking] Jimmy: [likewise but also trying to find something Bobby will eat cos this ain't the cali gaff & he's being deliberately fussy cos don't wanna be here & we know Cass is too but can't pick for her] Janis: shoulda gone for something themed Janis: less choice Jimmy: you wanna see me in the outfit or you wanna wear the outfit Jimmy: either way 👍 Jimmy: missed a trick Ian Janis: what you chatting Jimmy: if there's a theme, no half measures Janis: I meant like Janis: nandos, or a burger place 😂 Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: that's me, babe Jimmy: [nudges her playfully] Janis: why are the kids menus always so much better Jimmy: order off it Jimmy: he ain't your dad he can't stop you Janis: 😂 Janis: tah Jimmy: so welcome Janis: better remind her not to get the salad Janis: yeah you look #skinny but you'll end up with spinach in your teeth Jimmy: there's all that #femalesolidarity you always say you don't give a shit about Jimmy: get her to order something heavy on the garlic 💔 gutted Dad Janis: she defs didn't ask for this Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: makes all of us that Janis: 🤷 obvs not Jimmy: [back to the bar for more drinks excuse him] Janis: not getting an invite this time, alright Jimmy: so you need one every time, alright Janis: brb Janis: [🚬] Jimmy: no invite for no invite then, yeah Janis: reckon we both need a sec, yeah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: come have one if you want Janis: know this ain't about me and it's more shit for you and whatever but I can still need some space, can't I Jimmy: I said alright, didn't I Jimmy: two's a crowd, I get it Janis: whatever Janis: I knew this was a bad idea Jimmy: nobody said it was a good one Janis: 👌 Jimmy: if you wanna go, just go Jimmy: you don't need to be here Janis: you want me to Jimmy: is that a question Jimmy: I said if you want Janis: it's a question Jimmy: I want you to stay but Jimmy: if I don't want to then Janis: then I will Janis: not like anyone wants to be here Janis: but you asked Jimmy: leaving would piss him off more than owt we've done yet Jimmy: maybe we should just Janis: do you wanna, like obviously but Janis: is it worth it or do you wanna stick it out and just ruin the night some more Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: we could try letting Cass in on it, might make her hate us less Janis: worth a shot Janis: even if she's still mad with us, also permanently with him so Janis: text her Jimmy: one sec Jimmy: alright she's in & coming outside with me so hang on Janis: 👍 Janis: no one can resist being a dick to their 'rents Jimmy: or the lure of 🚬 take that 🚭 Jimmy: not that I'm gonna really let her but Jimmy: [comes out & has brought her drink with him cos good boy like that] Janis: so uncool, babe Jimmy: piss off Janis: [winks 'cos cheeky and takes drink and kisses his cheek] Jimmy: [Cass comes out just as he's kissing her properly cos typical so she's like 😒🤢] Janis: [makes a whoops soz face like] Jimmy: [is 🚬 & Cass is brainstorming out loud about pissing Ian off, first one being kicking Bobby under the table so he cries & Jimmy has be like probably don't lol] Janis: [lols 'cos 100% something she'd have done to grace] Jimmy: [Jimmy's like also encourage him to fuck shit up though like drawing on the table, kicking off, not staying put etc typical kid things that will annoy Ian] Janis: [She's like 'you should facetime your mate in the middle of food, like' to Cass] Jimmy: [actually gets a smile out of her before she remembers she hates them cos great idea] Janis: result Janis: [victory sip] Jimmy: [cheers' her drink with a nod that they should probably head back in, in a sec. Cass goes & does kick bobby 'accidentally' as she gets in her sit cos cool kid who don't have to listen to you Jimothy] Janis: [Ian shoulda ordered for them 'cos they 'weren't here' such a dickhead move] Jimmy: [Jimmy sets Bobby up doing art but he's still whinging cos nobody's trying to stop him rn except Ian who can't] Janis: just like you Jimmy: nah better Jimmy: I've told him to draw the gf so 🤞 it's unflattering or that'll backfire Janis: kids drawings always are Janis: they don't sugarcoat it Jimmy: the one he did of my dad was 🥇 Janis: mhmm Janis: tell him I'll pay him to do you later yeah Jimmy: tell him yourself he loves a chat with you Janis: dunno why Jimmy: SUCH a conversationalist Jimmy: [meanwhile Cass is name dropping their mum & talking about her to make Ian & the gf uncomfortable cos that would work amazingly but poor Jimmy is likewise feeling tense af] Jimmy: I'll be back in a sec Jimmy: [leaves the table again it's like musical chairs bitch] Janis: 👍 Janis: sure thing Jimmy: [is not back in a sec] Janis: lost, or purposefully 'lost' Janis: the starter sharing thing is here Jimmy: Ian would be devastated to have to eat my share, I'm sure Janis: there's only so much defensive eating me and Cass can do 'fore we chunder Janis: you alright? Jimmy: I just Jimmy: she did that to get at me too, you know Janis: probably Janis: she isn't doing it now, you can come back Janis: or I am can come to you, for a bit Jimmy: [comes back] Janis: [squeezing his hand under the table] Jimmy: [gets an eyelash for her but we both know it's just an excuse he's just soft] Janis: [real smile, real moment, sod everyone else] Jimmy: [smiles back & it's genuine too even though he's obvs still a sad boy] Janis: just tell me what you need, yeah Janis: anything Jimmy: you Jimmy: that's it Janis: seems bit too easy Janis: but alright then Janis: if you're sure Jimmy: don't be calling yourself too easy babe Jimmy: that's a bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: bit true Jimmy: it's actually well untrue before me Janis: oh really Janis: #yourinfluence Jimmy: exactly Janis: 🙄 don't be cocky Jimmy: it's what you like about me though Jimmy: are you sure Janis: only sometimes Janis: and not about devirginizing me, tah Jimmy: it weren't my fault I did that Janis: not really about fault is it, div Jimmy: just saying you could've worn a badge or whatever Jimmy: sign round your neck that kinda thing Janis: [kicks him in the shin] Janis: you're such a dick Jimmy: oi 💔💔 Janis: don't oi me Janis: your fault Jimmy: I didn't do owt except point out you didn't look like a massive virgin Jimmy: which is a compliment Janis: you and compliments Janis: someone needs to re-explain to concept Jimmy: go on then Janis: okay, hold on Janis: [takes a large swig of her drink for effect] Jimmy: [shakes his head for effect] Janis: so, a compliment, is when you say something nice about a person Janis: not when you say something rude af and then add in some half-baked 'but I meant-' after the fact Janis: got it? Jimmy: say it slower & in a northern accent Janis: 😏 Janis: just stop trying with them, yeah Janis: that's a compromise I'm fine with Jimmy: 👌 Janis: then you can't get moody at me about it either Janis: win win Jimmy: or you could just accept 'em like I want Jimmy: that'd be a win win Janis: oh sure Janis: I'm so hard up I need 'didn't look like a massive virgin' Janis: 👌 Jimmy: alright it weren't my best one Janis: 😂 Janis: like I said, dickhead Janis: and clearly I didn't or you would've clocked it Jimmy: It weren't like I was looking for badges or neck signs Jimmy: unless one said like 🐇🍳 or 🔪💀 not gonna put me off Janis: oh tah Janis: 'cos it was such a big undertaking for you Janis: so much hassle Jimmy: shut up Janis: you said it, boy Jimmy: what are you on about Jimmy: no I never Janis: yeah you did Janis: why would it put you off Janis: not a disease Jimmy: it wouldn't Jimmy: which is what I said Janis: hmm Janis: easy to say now Jimmy: easy to say then too Jimmy: you know how bad I wanted you Janis: I weren't frigid alright Janis: it was just timing, that's all Jimmy: that dickhead made it clear, tah Janis: yeah Janis: well Janis: don't think I was waiting for someone special or anything weird Jimmy: I don't Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [let's all take a moment to appreciate the food Ian has ordered as it arrives] Janis: oh yum Janis: swap with me Jimmy: [does but is 😒 and all wtf is this out loud at Ian & then swaps with Cass like musical plates] Janis: Imma get one of those stupid big sundaes for dessert Jimmy: be quick about ordering it before my dad has a go for you first though Janis: I don't think he'd be ordering me one full stop Janis: why'd he get you all meaty shit and me a salad Janis: is he calling me fat 'cos that's just inaccurate, buy me a burger to fatten me up if anything Jimmy: sexism Jimmy: or being a tight bastard Jimmy: maybe both Jimmy: he could've got you nowt like you don't exist I suppose Janis: 😂 Janis: would've been funnier Janis: and then I coulda got something decent Jimmy: [just voicing all these complaints and more to Ian to annoy him while Cass 'eats' the salad by dramatically gagging etc & then nicking Bobby's plate which is a big drama] Janis: [takes the salad back to be mature about this, casually sharing meals here] Jimmy: [takes it off her & gives her his for good because love bitch] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [Cass doing her facetiming before Ian has a chance to calm down lols] Jimmy: now that's 💕😍 Janis: deffo Janis: kinda feel usurped Janis: but it's cute Jimmy: you're cute Jimmy: [kisses her, not sorry Ian or his missus] Janis: actually so competitive Janis: I like it Jimmy: I know you do 💪🏆 Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt remember Janis: 'course Janis: how could I forget Jimmy: I ain't letting you Jimmy: [kisses her again even better] Janis: promise I didn't need it but Janis: never gonna turn down a reminder Jimmy: [draws the 👌👍's  on her leg with his finger cos that's always a mood] Janis: [holds his hands there for a while 'cos wanna] Jimmy: [writes ILY there too but like over and over cos extra] Janis: [kisses him 'soz everyone but not] Jimmy: [he's lowkey dying cos always does when she kisses him first but still not soz everyone] Janis: [Cass be gagging again] Jimmy: [throws salad at her cos v mature & lbr he don't wanna eat it] Janis: [feeds him some of hers like a romcom to really make everyone vom] Jimmy: so #goals Jimmy: you're gonna make my fake mum 😭 Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: having the evening she wanted for her Janis: #livevicariously Jimmy: #realitycheckbeforeitstimetowriteoutarealone Jimmy: [Bobby going so hard with the fake voming that he nearly chokes for real god bless] Janis: gonna actually 💀 with our love Jimmy: you just can't stop being 💕 Janis: does that mean you can Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: does that mean you want me to or you don't Janis: why would I want you to stop Jimmy: don't love a rom com you Janis: like I said, you ain't got it down so Janis: not too offensive Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [Ian dad of the year that he is decides to take Cass' phone cos still facetiming so that's all kicking off & is lovely] Jimmy: let's not go back with them, alright Janis: yeah Janis: alright Janis: we can go anywhere you want Jimmy: I don't care, I just Jimmy: want it to be us for a bit Janis: easy Janis: you're definitely owed at least a few hours of not thinking about Janis: any of this Jimmy: or anything Janis: exactly Janis: can give you that Janis: promise Jimmy: I'll give it you back too Jimmy: promise Janis: I know Janis: you always do Jimmy: [writes 'you' on her leg & a heart cos he's soft] Janis: [draws a heart on his but then a cross through it 'cos not soft her, nah] Janis: if you could live anywhere, like semi-realistically Janis: when you leave Janis: where would you go Jimmy: as long as it ain't back where I came from, I don't mind Jimmy: I ain't been nowhere else before here Jimmy: where do you wanna go? Janis: yeah Janis: I dunno either Janis: don't matter Janis: just not here Jimmy: easy done Jimmy: nowhere too hot though I'm too white & northern for that shit Janis: but you love short shorts 😂 Jimmy: yeah but pink ain't my colour babe Jimmy: nevermind 🦀 red Janis: 😍 will see me through Jimmy: be offering to suncream me up & doing 🎨 on my back Jimmy: 🍆 like Janis: not that predictable, how dare 😉 Jimmy: know what you're about Janis: getting to be really thorough with your sun care, yeah Janis: but I'd be way more creative Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: what's your masterpiece gonna be then Janis: gonna just write northern twat probably Janis: or call for a good time Janis: possibilities are endless, babe Jimmy: 😂 Janis: probably stick with english speaking countries, you struggle enough as is Jimmy: that's your fault Jimmy: distracting me in every paddy lingo class I've ever been in & dragging me outta half my french ones Janis: okay, that can be my fault Janis: worth it and you know it Jimmy: you are Jimmy: you know it Janis: shut up Janis: got a no compliment rule remember Jimmy: make me Jimmy: it's a fact Janis: dork Janis: if I make you how you wanna he might actually keel over legit Jimmy: you agreed to 💀🔪 already so Jimmy: go on Janis: but I wanted dessert 😋 Jimmy: you still can Jimmy: my new mum will be alive Janis: sticking 'round to bury him and buy the milky bars Janis: what a babe Jimmy: & if she gets mardy 'cause he ain't a handsome corpse well Jimmy: you got me Jimmy: I'll get it Janis: thought you was offering yourself as a sexier corpse Janis: true but unnecessary Jimmy: sexy 👻 lad me Jimmy: ain't offering myself to her though tah Janis: don't Janis: she's no MILF Jimmy: she ain't got no kids unless Ian's offering to change that one way or another Jimmy: but I doubt tonight's the night either way Jimmy: even if he does stay alive Janis: mood #rekt babe Janis: no more brothers or sisters to raise, thank you Jimmy: 🎻🎻 for Ian's lost redemption arc only Janis: gutted Janis: #adoptdontshop Jimmy: now the 🐶's gutted 💔💔 Janis: poor baby Janis: truly Jimmy: 🤞 she's trashing the house & doing her bit Janis: would she do a thing like that Janis: 😇 Jimmy: you trained her so yeah Janis: my evil plan Jimmy: 😈 you Janis: [gives him a saucy look] Janis: don't forget Jimmy: [touches her under the table in a saucy way] Jimmy: don't forget what a perfect match we are Janis: [breathe, bitch] Janis: not gonna let you off that easy Janis: you're stuck Jimmy: nah Jimmy: I'm exactly where I wanna be Jimmy: [keeps touching her to prove his point] Janis: good Janis: I'm Janis: not mad about it either Jimmy: encouraging Jimmy: never off as my #muse you Jimmy: I'm so inspired right now Jimmy: [proves it] Janis: tough job but someone's gotta Janis: if you wanna be 🥇 Jimmy: & you know I do Jimmy: [is 😏 because peak under the table saucy behavior happening rn like] Janis: [casually grabbing his leg 'cos harder to be subtle than she reckoned] Jimmy: [gives her an innocent look like ?? while going harder than before cos he's so cheeky] Janis: you know how much I hate you Janis: yeah Jimmy: so much Jimmy: just don't make it obvious to everyone else Janis: I'm trying Janis: go easy on me Jimmy: if that's what you want, baby Jimmy: [is being a tease now lol] Janis: you're so Janis: 😑 Jimmy: say what you wanna say Janis: when can we leave Jimmy: as fast as you can order & eat the pudding you want Jimmy: that's how soon we can get out of here Janis: Baby Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't want it now Janis: you gonna make me sit here and eat a whole sundae when we could Jimmy: I was gonna make you share it with me actually but Jimmy: we can go Janis: you can have whatever you want, baby Jimmy: I only want you Janis: then let's go Janis: piss him off anyway Janis: height of rudeness Jimmy: I ain't offering to pay owt either Jimmy: he'll be 😭😭 Jimmy: come on Janis: [being blase af like toodles! lmao and essentially running for the door with him] Jimmy: [leg it lads] Janis: [dramatic af smooch outside 'cos love and they're free] Jimmy: where to then Janis: anywhere we can be alone Jimmy: [more kisses just because] Janis: ['I love you'] Jimmy: [says it back obvs] Janis: [says well done etc 'cos knows that was rough] Jimmy: [says tah & we know he really means for being there cos there's the look of love bitch like don't cry again boy] Janis: [shrugs like don't mention it and more kisses but more soft] Jimmy: [then some handholding & walking because gotta go somewhere kids] Janis: ['pub?'] Jimmy: [nods] Janis: [happy dork like 😊] Jimmy: [stops to kiss her again because she's so cute & happy & he can't not] Janis: they should do studies Janis: on how depressed parents make you Janis: I feel 10x better already being away from mine and yours, like Jimmy: [does a little lol but obvs same] Jimmy: when we get our own place, no keys for none of 'em Janis: don't even tell 'em where we are Janis: give 'em no chance to just pop 'round Jimmy: not like we need help with moving 💪 Janis: [also lols] Jimmy: [looks at her as if to say what are you laughing for I'm so strong & picks her up to show off] Janis: [rolls her eyes and is like 'here we go again' but loves it and is loling even more] Jimmy: [make out sesh to 'shut her up' but actually just wants to cos the lols get him] Janis: [look of love bitch] Jimmy: [we need a piggyback moment here so they can get where they need to be, run boy] Janis: [destination Janis: okay 💪 lad Janis: get the first 'round in Jimmy: [does] Jimmy: find us the loneliest corner you can, yeah Janis: 👍 Janis: you forgot who I am again? Jimmy: 'course not Jimmy: the name's Janet, right? Janis: think that was your da's bae, legit Janis: 🙄 thanks, mum and dad Janis: you dicks Jimmy: [lols I hope she can hear it from where she is while he's still at the bar & its not that loud] Janis: 💕 you cute as fuck Janis: I'd try and pull you if I saw you standing there, like Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: have your best crack at it Janis: seriously? Janis: require more chatting up than an actual boyfriend you do Jimmy: challenge refused? Jimmy: alright Janis: challenge? 🤔 Janis: #slag Jimmy: worked in your favor didn't it Jimmy: if we both played as hard to get as you, you'd still be a virgin & I'd be 💔 Janis: bit rude Janis: not my fault your chat is shocking Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: my sexts killed you, ain't my fault you want everything Janis: challenge refused? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [is 😒 as he brings the drinks to her] Janis: [kisses his cheek and takes drink as per] Jimmy: [pouty boy be drinking] Janis: ['Baby'] Jimmy: [looks at her like ??] Janis: [smiles at] Janis: like that Janis: don't be grumpy Jimmy: [is trying his best to still be in a mard but she's so cute when she smiles that he can't help being 😍 every time] Janis: [its returned so] Jimmy: [kisses] Janis: ['even more like it'] Jimmy: [gestures that she should get even closer to him because standard] Janis: [snuggles into his side, head on his shoulder] Jimmy: [plays with her hair forever cos absolute fave mood] Janis: how can I miss you when I've been with you Janis: other people ruin it somehow, always Jimmy: there's your answer Jimmy: but when they try & ruin it for us we ruin it for them twice as much so Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: [little lol] Janis: true enough Jimmy: [more kisses cos of the cuteness of the lol] Janis: maybe next time we go, we could take the kids, win her back 'round Janis: at least temporarily Jimmy: [a genuinely happy big smile because that's a good idea] Janis: [shrugs like nbd] Janis: caravan's always there, like Janis: no one uses it much now Jimmy: [nods to downplay how KEEN he was just then lol] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: depending how much of a shit her little mates 'rents give, he could come Janis: then we only really have to look after Bobs Jimmy: reckon she'd talk 'em round easy even if they are actual parent of the year candidates Jimmy: long as she ain't gone off him by then Janis: subtle hint, babe Janis: keep me on my toes Jimmy: [little lol of his own] Janis: ah to be 12 again Jimmy: you're alright tah Jimmy: didn't know you then Janis: awh Janis: whatta smoothtalker Jimmy: just how it is Jimmy: life was as shit then as it is now basically Jimmy: you're the only diifference Janis: yeah Janis: things were slightly worse Janis: in theory anyway Jimmy: I'm taking that compliment Jimmy: nowt you can do to stop me Janis: fill your boots, lad Janis: know you need all the help you can get 😉 Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: [tickles her like excuse you] Janis: [punchy] Jimmy: [play fight moment] Janis: gonna get us kicked out, boy Janis: know it's rare you make it in, come on Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: that was one club one time Jimmy: if you'd told me you wanted me to dress like Jimmy: that Janis: [loling] Janis: I dunno if that would've worked entirely in your favour either, like Jimmy: it would've worked on you Jimmy: give a fuck about whoever else Janis: is it? Jimmy: deny it Jimmy: you'd have been well 😍😍😍 & 🤤 Janis: [makes 'psh' noise but ain't denying it] Jimmy: [gives her such a hot look] Janis: [rolls her eyes] Janis: it weren't no gay club Janis: that would've kinda defeated the point Jimmy: anywhere's a gay club if you want Jimmy: ask Barry Janis: would've been easier to spin that than random bitches, like Jimmy: they're easy enough to spin too though Janis: shut up Janis: idiot Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: [is 😒] Jimmy: what's that face for? Janis: yours Jimmy: yeah you are Jimmy: so calm down Janis: piss off Jimmy: [pulls her closer to him as an unspoken no] Janis: mean it Janis: [but doesn't pull away] Jimmy: I mean it Jimmy: you're mine Jimmy: I wanted you then & I want you now Janis: [looking at him intense af] Jimmy: [holds her gaze as intensely of course] Janis: ['you're so'] Jimmy: [says ILY] Janis: [more desperate kissing] Jimmy: [puts her on his lap for more kisses because its been a minute & that's unheard of for them so] Janis: I still like you Janis: even though you are a bit of a dickhead Jimmy: you're the dickhead Jimmy: but I still like you too Janis: nah, don't lie Janis: you more than like me Jimmy: maybe Janis: definitely Jimmy: & you tell me not to be cocky Janis: come on Janis: you said it Janis: you want me so bad Jimmy: alright Janis: is that denial or agreeance Janis: can't tell Jimmy: I reckon you can Janis: [makes noise 'cos indecent] Janis: yeah but Janis: you know I like hearing it Jimmy: yeah but Jimmy: if I say it again what are you gonna do about it Janis: [gives him a look like 'do it and find out'] Jimmy: [tells her out loud giving her a LOOK the whole time] Janis: [after hot n heavy makeout, pulling on him like come on 'cos privacy needed] Jimmy: [don't need to tell him twice, on you go you two] Janis: [lowkey forgot the point of this convo lmao off you go into the night babes]

[iridescene]

Thursday!! I’m giving you Thoma and Zhongli for your ask game >:)

1. what i love about them

thoma: umm... UMMMM...... WHAT DON'T I LOVE ABOUT MY LIL HONEY BEAR SQUISHY SNOOKUMS MY SWEET BEAUTIFUL PRETTY MEOW MEOW.................... god im gonna be real here. idk where to begin. man is hot. handsome. the perfect age and height for me. beyond superficial aspects, i think what i love most about him is the fact that while many may mistake his warmth for amiability, i think it has this hidden devotion and tenacity to it. like, if someone he really cared about pushed him away because they believed they were unloveable/unworthy of his time and affection/he could do better, he would never take it sitting down and walk away. he's a ride or die who lives with an open heart; and in that sense i like to believe we share aligned ideals.

zhongli: hmm... what i admire about people sometimes also tend to become what i love about them, and zhongli is a pretty good example of this. i love the extent of his knowledge (even if he is, you know, 6000 years old) and his eloquence in expressing himself. he also seems like a patient listener and someone who understands his inner workings and how to balance them well... he'd be a soothing presence to be around.

2. what i hate/dislike about them

thoma: blasphemous that you should ask. blocked,

zhongli: i guess this perspective is a bit more self-centred, but... you know how sometimes when you're around someone, even if things are chill between you both and they appear fine, you can kind of tell they're not? zhongli shoulders that kind of grief... if i were to be an acquaintance or friend of his, i'd want to be able to relieve some of that burden in some way, but he doesn't seem like the kind who'd share the weight on his shoulders easily. because of that i suppose there will always be some sort of distance? and it goes without saying that i'd respect that distance and provide him the space he wishes for, but i'd also be lying if i said that being unable to share the burden of one you care about wasn't disheartening...

6. if i'd fight them

thoma: we'd have a tickle war and i'd let him win

zhongli: do i know what's good for me? yes. do i care? no #childecore

7. if we would be friends

thoma: god i. i need a moment. i wouldn't even know where to begin. HELL YEAH???!!??! we r the og friends 2 lovers ship ok we bond over knitting sessions while listening to taylor swift. this kind of led me to think too... some friends can be people who inspire you. thoma inspires me, and he seems like the type to always see the best in others, so i wonder if i'd inspire him too, and if so, in what way...?

zhongli: i hope the fuck so?? zhongli would honestly make the best conversation partner. i'm always someone who likes to think about philosophy and all that and also challenge these perspectives; and in this respect i believe zhongli would be the perfect person to have such discussions with — rather than someone who converses to speak or debates to emerge victorious, he seems like he'd be able to maintain a collected temperament and objective point of view with things. he's also a very... balanced person too, which complements my somewhat chaotic nature well i feel.

:// send me some genshin characters and numbers

#sherry my belovedddd thank u for the ask!! #wow i feel like a lot of my answers were self centred but.. ehe #i kinda just wrote whatever came to mind tbh #this is pretty fun :3 #:outlook: #:sherry:

[laviestbelle-19]

A Letter to Society.

I ordered 3 pairs of jeans online and when they arrived I tried them on but none of them fit. The beginning of 2021 marked the beginning of my weight fluctuation. I no longer feel in control of my body. Its days like these I get sad and discouraged about the way I look and feel in my own skin. I look in the mirror and just stare in disappointment because these jeans are not "supposed" to look like this, and I'm not "supposed" to be this size. I called my husband to cry and tell him how I'm feeling. As I was talking to him and heard the words and sentences coming out of my mouth I realized how unloving I was being to myself. And I don't get it, if its not right to talk badly of people, what makes it okay to speak badly of myself?

Society, ah society; you will be the death of us low self-steemed girls. Making us believe beauty is only on the outside, without any hope we can also harbor it on the inside. Countless hours with my therapist learning to master the meaning of self love seemingly fade into nothing as soon as I step foot into your bottomless void. And I hate how angry these words sound, but that's just how mad I am that something so ugly exists.

Not only is beauty one of your favorite tricks, but so is mental health. And I spent years of my life under your worthless regime fooling me into thinking it was not okay to not be okay. It is now that I realize "not okay" is actually the new normal and that "healthy" is actually the new beautiful. You try to creep in now and then to make me doubt cause its worked so good for you in the past. I cant say it wont make me stumble, clearly today it did. But someone with wisdom light years beyond your stupidity once wrote, "love endures all things". I'd like to apply that towards self love.

Self love endures. Self love is what makes a woman strong even after she's lost, hurt, cried, doubted and even angered. Self love is the antidote to your lifeless poison. I'm sure you're having the time of your life enjoying the success of fooling thousands of poor innocent souls into thinking you set the rules, you call the shots.

Have your fun but don't forget -

“Everything has to come to an end, sometime.”

#in case you need this #loveyourself #beauty is in the eye of the beholder

[honeyymistt]

hey honeyy! i just wanted to rant for a hot minute simply bc idk how to handle this situation; i'm 20, and will move out soon to go to uni (in october, presumably) and my parents will pay for rent and food, which is v nice of them. but despite their reassurances that they'll pay for it, they are so passive aggressive, especially my mom. she just straight up told me today that "enough is enough" and basically said i need to move out asap bc i'm such a burden on them financially + i'm so spoiled and dumb and don't know how to real world works and she does (which ugh,, not to brag but they're loaded and i feel so heartbroken bc as a child they would spoil us rotten), but now she just wants to kick me out. i know at 20, i'm long overdue for moving out — and i will, soon, in like 2 months — yet my mom acts as if she couldn't wait for me to leave (which, okay, fair. same tbh) but idk what she wants me to do about it rn?? like i'm looking for jobs & am in the process of applying to different jobs, but that's somehow a time consuming process. it's just v stressful bc i feel betrayed, bc they always told me i should focus on school instead of getting a job, and it's my fault for not thinking for myself, but now i have no money saved up and i'll probably work a minimum wage job for the rest of the year every month (and the next years, like my whole uni time which is a-okay, it just stresses me out a bit). i think you're younger than me, so maybe this is very out of line for me to complain to you about?? feel free to just delete this ask, but i wanted to ask if you have any advice on how to deal with "loveless" parents and a dysfunctional family, where respect is requested but you as 'their child' are not brought the same respect bc you're 20 and still living at home. it's sooo funny bc i'm so gullible; my mom used to tell me the exact opposite for years — ‘no, it's fine that you're still living at home with 19’ and now she holds it against me bc she moved out at 17. my dad is also v mentally unstable, he has anger issues and never sees that he behaved wrongly, basically gaslighting me into believing it's all my fault for everything's that happening to me when something goes wrong. idk how to deal w/ this, everyone in this household is toxic and i feel trapped, despite my plans to hustle on the side and earn my own money. i'm stupid for feeling betrayed, but that's how it feels like. i think my mom stopped loving me a long time ago, like until i was 11 she loved me, but then i grew up and developed my own opinions, character etc. i just hate her so much. same with my dad. i hate relying on them for rent though and idk what to do (😭ik, this is a very, very privileged standpoint but idk how to handle all this hate; it's been getting worse these past weeks) — sorry for the lang rant!! 😭✋ hope your life is going great, though <3 -💌

hiii 💌-anon!!! im happy to hear from you :) i’m sorry to hear you are having a hard time 🥺 i'm sending you a virtual hug. i hope it cheers you up! <3

it makes me sad to read that you think that you're long overdue for moving out because you really aren't!! where i live, a lot of people are living at home until they graduate from university (possibly because it is very expensive to live where i live and no 20 year old is able to afford it🥴) but anyways, i actually don't think you're long overdue for moving out. i know that there a bunch of YouTube videos titled "MOVING INTO MY DREAM APARTMENT AT 19!" and yes, it's such a milestone but it's also so unrealistic. YouTube and being an "influencer" in general, pays really really well. not a lot of people are able to do what is "normal" to them. you are right on track! don't worry :)

reading about your parents really made me upset because you don't deserve to be talked to like that at all. a good parent takes care of their kid because they love them. they don't guilt trip them and tell them that they are a financial burden or that they're excited for them to move out. like your mom offers to pay for your rent and food but then tells you that you're a financial burden ?? like ma'am, where is the logic in that 😐 i'm sorry that she makes you feel unloved,, you don't deserve that at all :( i hate that you feel like once you developed your own opinions and character, she started to dislike you. that's what makes you wonderful!! you're a beautiful person, inside and out. don't let her opinions and actions tell you otherwise.

as for not knowing how the real world works, literally same. to be completely honest, i'm probably worse than you 😭 . i think i wrote this in one of my posts about my insecurities but basically i wrote that i don't know anything beyond school. i feel like i've been working so hard on being the "perfect student" that i'm so book smart but when it comes to very basic life skills, i feel like i'm lacking. i feel like i'm unprepared. whenever i tell this to my mom, she tells me that it's okay and that it's her job to take care of me and provide for me. one time she said "you have a whole life ahead of you to learn about taxes and cleaning and bills and finances and cooking. just enjoy the time right now. enjoy your life where it is. you're going to learn all of these skills eventually. the best way to learn them is just to experience life and make mistakes." so listen to my mom and try not to worry!! no one is born knowing how the real world works. you're going to be okay!

i think when it comes to dealing with loveless parents, you make up for it through your other relationships. one of my friends doesn't have the best relationship with her parents and whenever i ask her about it she says, "it's sad that i don't have the love that most people get from their parents but i get so much love from you, my other friends, my boyfriend, my cousins, etc. i know that there are people who care for me. these people are my family." maybe you and your family just need time apart. maybe your absence will make them realize that they didn't really treat you all that well. or maybe you'll realize that you deserve a lot better and that you don't want to be in contact with people who make you feel badly about yourself. time apart will give you time to come to terms with what you need! 🤍 if i were you, i'd get really excited for moving out in october because you're going to be removing yourself from this environment. you won't have to deal with feeling like a burden or dealing with your parents being cold towards you. you're moving out!! this is exciting!!! i'm excited for you!! everything will align and fall perfectly into place, i just know it.

i'll be by your side every step of the way - packing, moving out, moving in, unpacking, and we'll experience the harsh reality of the real world together :) i'm right by your side 🥺🌟🍯🤍

#chat with honeyymistt #you are going to be okay 🤍 #me when i meet your parents: 🥊😡🤬💥🚨💣 #don’t listen to them!!! #listen to my mom instead 🙂 #i hope you’re feeling a little bit better 🥺 and thank you for being patient with my reply #i love talking to you so much 🥺🍯💖