#i'm rambling on about this when i have no excuse tbh and don't feel sorry for me

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

hii <3

i indeed would like to ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story :))

your rambling is everything, so go wild on poor little meow meow Larissa and our favourite menace Wednesday hehe

hiiiii!!! sorry it took me a bit before my brain got less mushy and i could string coherent sentences together! i'm still very much sick though so excuse me if i ramble a bit too much lol.

okay so these two live in my brain rent free now. it started off more as a challenge? or something to be like wooo controversy, and like. how can i make this work. but even though it started that way i never intended it to be like, badly done. from the get-go i put a lot of thought into it and wanted to actually make the story as high-quality as i could in terms of character development, their relationship and all the technical aspects (you know as you are one of the betas haha, and you know how many times i tweaked things, proofread, and how many times zephyr and i went through it). like i wanted to develop it as much as one can reasonably do in 14 chapters without getting sidetracked. and that was supposed to be the gimmick, like oh some ppl are gonna think it's controversial but it is actually well done and they might still be inclined to read it if they just bothered to try! (like a naive lil disney princess i forgot this is the internet lol)

the more i got into the story, the more i adored these two and their dynamic, or rather the dynamic i created for them. i think they just work, or more like, i've made them work. ppl have accused me of being a pedophile multiple times in the last couple of weeks while i've been posting the story lol, and asked me if i ship them in the show now, which is imo just fucking ridiculous. this is a separate universe that builds on what we had, or rather should have had, in the show, a story about two grown women who are both very odd in different ways and have found love and belonging with each other. i think neither of them could do a conventional relationship in my universe, and so this makes perfect sense for them!

i love writing larissa as a poor lil meow meow. there is just something about a pathetic, lonely middle aged woman that makes my brain go brrrrrrr. and wednesday is just a delight to write. i love channeling her voice. i used to be a lot like wednesday as a teen lol, that's sorta how i talked (i had no friends lol), so channeling her is a fun blast from the past and feels very natural to write.

it was a joy to write tbh! and personally, i don't think it's like.... even that out there or particularly (hehe) controversial? it's very much a coming of age rom-com sort of thing, but make it like... Quirky and include some dark humour. the outraged reactions i got to it honestly made me wanna write actually controversial stuff lol. i tend to want to spite the haters :)) and prove my point that fiction is fiction. i am very annoyed by the whole puritan internet culture, it really fucking irks me, esp when it's enforced by the self-proclaimed weirdos and goths and whatnot, who don't know what pedophilia even is lol nor could recognise it in fiction or real life. i know i won't get my point across to people who have already made up their mind about me being the actual pedophilic devil, but i will sure have my fun! i can't wait to challenge myself again! :))

also "particular" really inspired me to write longer works!! and i learned that i am most comfortable with that sort of format. all the things i am planning in the future are multi-chapter fics and rather long! and how i prefer to do it now is to write it all in advance and then post -- that way i know i won't lose interest midway haha. i am motivated by that sweet dopamine of wanting to share my work!

so yeah, i met some lovely people bc of this story (looking at you @the-frankenman-writes, actual gem and joy and delight), i strengthened some friendships, and i think it definitely made an impact on people! i grew a lot as a writer and it pushed me to refine my skills! so all in all, i'm very happy <3

stay tuned for the last chapter!!! a christmas special! :)))

#i got an ask! #i will produce my own garbage and also consume it #particular tag

[mothocean]

hello, mechanisms enjoyer. who is your favourite mechanism. what is your favourite album. what is your favourite song.

Oh hey its you!! Mechanisms ask person!! Sorry i saw other ppl answering your asks and kept wondering if you'd send me one too jkhnjjgghgfjf

My favorite mechanism is The Toy Soldier!! (As you can probably guess lol) I just. Love it so much jkgmfjfgf. Like Its both the dissonance between its cheerful appearance and how it will murder you in cold blood without remorse if someone told it to (and even if not) and how it is an artificial being and yet it longs for companionship and pretends to be alive both bc thats whats been asked of it initially and bc it wants to be included and when all of its friends died it felt it had no reason to keep pretending so it stopped and just. You know what im talking about. Also its silly

My favorite album is Ulysses Dies at Dawn!! I like pretty much all the songs from it, I was a greek mythology/percy jackson kid so recognising the references there was fun, and I generally like stories involving being denied an ending/ending as a release (not for any reason related to my current mental state dw im fine. Also yes thats why i like DoNA but thats unrelated rn). And also it has Orpheus my beloved <3 if you (addressing also any potential readers here) haven't read the fictions for this album already please do they're fantastic. But if you don't usually read the fictions and want the best stuff first, read the ones that have Orpheus in their titles (i don't have the patience to find exactly what they're called on the website but theres like two of em and they're really good).

My favorite song.... thats a hard one oh boy. I guess it's Losing Track? I'm a sucker for songs combining previous leitmotifs/parts from other songs and its the perfect song of 'conclusion' to the first part of tbi with its mystery theme before we find out what really happened yk. And odin's parts there are just <3333 raph's singing is fantasic there as ever. I also like The Toy Soldier Song a whole lot bc it's my favorite mechanism and Frankenstein bc well its really fucking good we're really sleeping on Frankenstein as a fandom tbh

So yeah!! Sorry this was kinda long i judt love rambling abt the mechs and thank you for giving me an excuse to do so (positive) (i love it when ppl ask me abt things i like and i get to talk abt them please feel free to talk to me abt things more)

#roseflower.txt #the mechanisms #<- sorry for putting this in the main tag its for organisation purposes #ask tag

[fratricideknight]

Do you have a favourite sam hair era? Mine was in season 1 and 2 when it wasn't that long yet but still had the cute curls at the ends

don't even get me started! (sorry for how long this is. there's a tl;dr if you don't wanna read.)

just the fact that sam has longer hair is a gigantic plus with me. i love his hair so much, it looks so soft and gorgeous. i'm really enamored with that anime-esque style, so when a physical man (and a real one, bc jared) manages to pull it off, my heart is instantly stolen.

as for specific standouts: season 1, as you said. it's just so cute! and the bangs never reappear so i'm particularly fond of them. season 1a especially, when his hair curled up so much at the ends, with the gorgeous lighting which made him look so good - *chefs kiss*. i love it when they let his hair go curly, which is why i think his pilot hair is cute but i prefer the overall s1 hairstyle.

i adore the s3/s4 hair, too. i view it as an improvement on the s2 hair, but idk, maybe that will change when i rewatch. the side part is probably better suited to him than the bangs as he gets older, and the little curls stay (esp. in s3), so it's a win.

i love the longer hair. s7 was dragged down by the sideburns and was too straight imo, as far as i can remember, but season 6 had its moments! maybe that's just because soulless!sam was hot, though, lol. as for the king of long hair: i. love. the season 8 hair. both 8a and 8b had their moments. i haven't watched it in a while, though. all i remember is that he glowed. i would have loved it if they let his hair go full wavy, even for just half a season, but it had the flicks so it passes with flying colours.

s9 hair was cute, too, because it was allowed to curl! a little, anyway. let this man's hair curl! tbh, though, by this stage everything becomes kinda fuzzy. i need to rewatch these seasons to get a grasp on the hair (i wish). s12 was kind of a return to form (?) with more structure than the preceding seasons so that was cute; all i really remember is the time he dressed as a priest and it was hot but i feel bad admitting that. also he looked really cute in a sweater in the same episode. you look good in anything, but please wear something other than flannel, sam. s14 hair was kinda similar (i think) and he had a beard!!! for a few episodes. so that was fun. i like the beard tbh, just not too long. dean deserved to burn for 40 more years for telling sam to shave it.

tl;dr: i love the longer hairstyles, but s1 is probably my favourite atm bc i love the bangs and i love s1. my fav varies, though.

thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble about sam's hair 💕

#sam winchester hair #sam's hair #sam winchester love #sam winchester #supernatural #spn #mine #askbox #mostlybbucky

[alexanderlightweight]

Hello! First of all I want to say I love your work!

I just saw your post about some entitled person complaining about you not using readmore (if I got it right?) and

1. People need to remember that they are able to turn off long post/turn on long post shortening in their settings on mobile so they're really just being rude about something that they can do something about on their own end

and

2. We can actually use readmore on mobile! You just need to type :readmore: in a new paragraph/line and hit enter! Just in case you ever do want to use it, but quite honestly? You do you and if people can't deal with how you do it then thats their problem, they do have options if it bothers them :3

Anon, you and another anon are just the sweetest people who both are trying to help me with this and let me just say, i appreciate it so so much. I have now somewhat figured out the mobile readmore though i need to fix it as i got it wrong a couple times.

But honestly, your reassuring me that i can do what i want on my blog is just, really soothing for my anxiety. so thank you a lot!!! because my brain likes lying to me and sometimes it's easier to believe someone i haven't met than the people i live with.

you 100% got it right. tbh it was just them replying to a fic i really enjoyed writing with a 'use a god damn read more' and nothing about the fic or anything else. which like, if you don't care about the fic and just the length of my posts please block me?

and tbh if it hadn't been so rude or distressing i wouldn't have been so upset. it's just, i only even saw the comment by accident (my notifications are horrible about telling me when someone has replied) so i kind of freaked out because how was i supposed to know it was even a problem for people?

i would have been happy if they'd asked me without swearing or been demanding in an ask and it would have been fine if they'd used anon if they didn't want me to know who they were. and then my bf took over because my social anxiety got triggered and just blocked them and talked me down from my 'omg i'm triggering people to the point they're upset at me and im a terrible person' mental spiral that i fell into. and i'm sure the person didn't mean to trigger me, but i do talk pretty openly about my anxiety on here so saeth agreed i should write a post about how not to request things. so that i can at least say i tried if this happens again.

also they're blocked and i didn't respond to them or call them out because 1) i don't need more negativity/they don't deserve access to me/my stuff and 2) they could have just been having a really, really bad day and they don't need the guilt of knowing they sent someone into a triggered anxiety spiral and almost made them stop writing an entire fic. or the stress of being 'called out'. it's healthier for both of us to just not interact at this point, i feel.

and while bad days doesn't excuse being shitty to other people ever!!! i personally just hope they find their equilibrium and learn better coping mechanisms and how to request things. but its also not my problem to fix, hence why blocking.

thank you for the care and the compliment and just reaching out! sorry i kinda ended up rambling because i'm still a little anxious about the whole thing and how i handled it

lumine

#lumine talks to ppl #lumine answers asks #lumine has five flavors of anxiety and none of them are tasty

[cookinguptales]

i wonder if guillermo himself is confused by his motivations this season. we’ve seen him question his life choices before - but each time, he’s only left for a short period of time, no more than a few weeks. maybe realising he’ll be apart from nandor for a much longer period of time (and staying in England for a reason we’re not yet privy to??) he told himself that he was over it - over those desires - until he believed it. after all, it would be painful to sustain that level of desire and codependency when it truly seems impossible for it to come to fruition, in a way it didn’t quite in the 12 years that came before. and we know guillermo doesn’t have the healthiest of coping mechanisms. might as well double down on the denial, just in a new way… but i also feel like it’s creeping back in now he’s back in the house. the best man stuff and baby colin, while believable, also seem like convenient excuses to stick around when he’s trying to justify it to his England self rather than his s3 self. i think the reason that “character development” happened off screen is because they’re going to dismantle it pretty quickly while (i hope) still keeping some of the changed dynamics between the vampire household. would it feel worse for that development to have happened over the course of the season only to be completely undermined in the last few episodes? idk but i’m very interested in the character undevelopment lmao. ultimately i love this season’s guillermo just as much as previous ones, but i understand the frustration also. i’m just desperate to know more about his time in England and while i understand why the writers seem to be keeping it quiet for now, i hope they don’t wait too many more episodes to reveal it. anyway thanks for coming to my tedtalk, sorry about this ridiculously long ramble, and keep doing what you’re doing - your content is great 💜

Honestly, I'm also hoping for character undevelopment for the petty reason that I don't want Guillermo to get healthier and less codependent and more normal. I want our boy to be fucked up! I love it when he's crazy. lmao

My thought process is similar to yours, tbh. If I'm operating under the assumption that the writers are honoring Guillermo's character (which I must do to keep sane lmao) then I think that his time in the UK would have been very difficult for him. He was just offered the thing he wanted more than anything else in the world just to have it snatched away from him, then he was trapped in a box for at least a week. He gets out only to be left with Nadja, the one member of the household that doesn't respect or like him much at all.

He doesn't know it's only going to be for a year. As far as he knows, this might be forever. He might be stuck in this foreign country away from his family forever. He might be stuck guarding a vampire doing vampire grunt work forever. He might never see Nandor again. I thought it was fascinating that in the show and in interviews, they don't seem to count that year as being part of Guillermo's tenure as Nandor's familiar. They say 12 years as a familiar in the show, just like they did before he left. In interviews, Harvey says 11 years a familiar, 1 a bodyguard, but that's still a total of 12.

So it's a year that he's really just in limbo. I can see him starting to think, y'know, what am I doing with my life?

And then if he finds a guy that's actually interested in him who's not gallivanting all over the United States with some family from Wisconsin, you know... Maybe that's not a bad thing, to try and move on.

(I still have reservations about Freddie because... like, this is WWDITS and normal people aren't exactly in large supply. But that's a worry for another day.)

And he thinks he's done it, maybe. He really does think he's over Nandor and the others and the household and everything. But now he's back and he's slowly falling right back into his old habits. And it's harder to tell himself that nothing has changed and these people don't care about him because they obviously do. Nandor has clearly changed during his time abroad, and he's being really quite kind to Guillermo, for him. He's supporting his anger. He's acting as an intermediary between him and the others. He's praising him. He's listening to him. He's letting Guillermo in, which I think is very weird for them both.

I think it was kind of an odd choice, setting up this idea that Guillermo met a guy abroad who changed him so much, but then they're not even going to show him to us until the end of the season. They're giving Guillermo so much time away from him, and it does seem like Guillermo is already backsliding. He's already finding reasons to stay. He's definitely still got that anger to him, but he seems to be putting it aside in favor of love.

Like he still has plenty of reason to want to stake Laszlo right here and now, but he's learning to work together with him for the sake of Baby Colin. (Seeing both of them dancing at Colin's performance was cute.) And he was upset at Nandor for not waiting for him, I think, but now the two of them are straight-up plotting together and it's very cute.

I feel like I'd love for Guillermo to work through some of his anger with the vampires rather than some character we've never seen before. He deserves to have them acknowledge him and his power and how much they've hurt him over the years. Nandor's already starting that journey, I think, though I think he's still struggling with the idea that he was one of the ones who hurt Guillermo the most...

idk. I do go back and forth with Guillermo a lot and it's been consuming me this past week. lmao. I have my own hopes for him, obviously, but it's hard to know where they're going with this or why. It's so strange that they decided to give both Guillermo and Nandor love interests that span an entire season while like... almost never showing them. I assume we'll learn more about them both eventually, but for now they're such non-entities and the relationships don't feel organic at all. I'm trying to reserve some faith in the writers but like. Yeah, it's all definitely weird and kind of confusing.

#replies #wwdits s4 spoilers #wwdits tag #nandermo tag

[abbacchiosbelt]

I'm so curious about Devo the Cursed's backstory. How did a Native shaman end up this messed up? Did he have his Stand from birth? Because it sounds like he was active years before meeting Dio. If so is it a Kakyoin and N'doul thing where he felt isolated and alienated from everyone around him? Did he convince himself that he was cursed or did other people call him cursed from childhood? What was his early life like?

Idk he just has such a unique and dark Stand, literally powers up through the power of pain and hatred, and Stands are supposed to represent people's souls, I always found him almost pitiable in a way. It's a shame we didn't learn more about him and most part 3 villains. Not excusing his actions either but tbh with that kind of power it's not hard to understand why he turned into an assassin and learned to embrace pain.

+ Devo anon, ugh sorry for ranting about him to you, I know like 3 people total care about him but you're one of my fav bloggers and I always love reading your insights on stuff

Also you're too harsh on yourself 💕

-x-

(wah thank you devo anon, it's hard not to be self-critical... thank u for the nice words... ♥)

re: devo - he is an interesting guy! part 3 is my least watched part so i had to do a little refresher on him, but i do agree that it would have been nice to have more time with him. a stand like that says so much about its user's psyche, yet it also leaves so many unanswered questions... i wish P3 spent more time with its villains rather than the 'villain of the week' type format.

to me, it feels like perhaps he was called 'cursed' when he was a child, so he continued to carry that name with him. i definitely think it's possible for him to have a background similar to n'doul and kakyoin, though i do wonder what tipped the scale for him to become an assassin. alas!

also, don't worry about rambling/having to defend yourself for liking villains here! rambling is always accepted. villain loving is always accepted. we know they're assholes, and that's okay >:)

#jjba.txt #stardust crusaders #devo the cursed

[dhaaruni]

Hi! Hope you’re having a good day - mines been pretty shit tbh so if the tone of this is dumb I’m sorry and it’s also very long and rambling so feel free to ignore but I’m just kind of shocked to see you defend being bdsm (aka being against the sexualisation of abuse and violence particularly against women)?

Like ‘what a man does in the privacy of his own home is his own business’ has always been peoples response to mens abuse. I just don’t understand how is it not incredibly fucked to get off on abuse? How is the physical damage done when strangling/beating/hurting someone in one of the millions of ways people (men) hurt each other (women) different when done consensually? If my boyfriend hits me during sex why is it a big deal if he does it during an argument if he didn’t even hit me as hard during the argument as he did in bed? What if he strangled me in bed (something that could kill me and is one of the biggest indicators that a man will kill you) then hitting me isn’t actually that bad in comparison considering the level of harm. What is the difference between ‘after care’ and bringing your girlfriend flowers after hitting her? How does it not create the same trauma bond? A lot of people into bdsm make it very clear that they are mentally unwell (not judging, I am too just different poor coping mechanisms) and I just don’t see how being a masochist different from self harm. How is bdsm not the biggest example of rape culture? How can you recognise the patriarchy’s influence on so many womens choices but not the choice to want to submit sexuality? How are teen girls supposed to cope with their boyfriends literally wanting to beat and rape them but all the adult sources around them are telling them thats totally normal and not dangerous they just need to consent? Because teenage girls are amazing at enforcing their boundaries and totally don’t give in to peer pressure or do things they don’t want to do for male approval. How are you meant to break up with a man who you know enjoys and is capable of beating and raping you?

TLDR : I’m just trying to understand your perspective because it seems very contradictory to your other views like being against rape, violence against women, anti racist, anti incest ect. just everything that bdsm sexualises and normalises

No you're all good, I don't mind answering lol. I'm not letting this be reblogged for obvious reasons though.

I completely agree with you in that societally speaking, BDSM is constantly used to excuse violence against women and it's really fucked up to get off on hurting others, and any man that says they're into BDSM on principle should likely be in jail.

That said, I also think that in the context of consensual romantic sexual relationships between adults, it's possible to enjoy certain things on occasion that aren't super vanilla on principle. And, I'm not really talking about hookups here, I'm talking long-term relationships with people you trust lol. I'm also not giving teenagers sex advice and I think "blowjobs are empowering" feminism that young millennials and Gen Z was raised on did more harm than good to our perceptions of healthy sexuality, but the rumors are true: I, an unmarried adult woman, enjoy sex with people I romantically like and trust as people lmao.

But to clarify, I'm really not a proponent of anything truly extreme, and I'm extremely intentional about setting boundaries and if anybody crosses them, they get blocked and banned for life. I'm generally cool with trying sex positions, but both parties always have veto privileges if something is painful or uncomfortable or simply not enjoyable. And personally, anything involving metal, spanking or hitting, choking, etc. are all total no-gos for me and I will never be swayed on that. A light hand on the neck is not remotely the same thing as asphyxiation, and to even get to that point, I need to trust the guy.

And, I would never trust let alone fuck a guy who can't get off without that stuff! My point is that it's okay to try things out, whether that's basic kink or weird sex positions that you fall out of and laugh at yourselves, not what you do every single time you have sex. If a guy whines about women being boring in bed or "vanilla," kick the man to the curb lmao.

All that said, I would never tell women they're bad people if they are against stuff I'm personally comfortable with. My point is just that sex isn't like a cut and dry thing, and it's really healthy to communicate and discuss what you like and don't like with your partner.

Does that make sense lol?

#anonymous #answered #sex cw

[nilikhangdiwa]

2022 Fic Wrap Up!

basically i will talk about every fic i've written this year, behind the scenes of them, plus some bonus stuff i've written! i'm pretty sure all of it is a3, with like. one or two outliers, if any. anyway! enjoy my rambling.

btw, all my fics are private for the time being, so you'll need an ao3 account to read them. sorry about that, bots are. shit.

1.

I Touched a Magic Mirror and Ended Up in My Parental Figure's Favorite RPG?!

masumi isekai fic, kniroun extended universe, mentioned lancelot/gawain/arthur

basically when i was wtiting this fic it was around this time of the year, and i was like "i'm gonna finish this fic by the time classes start up again!"

SPOILER ALERT. I DID NOT.

it kept getting longer and longer. umm. i do really like it! i love kniroun a normal amount, please ask me about the extended kniroun universe always. i did love writing it a lot, even though it caused me some grief because i was like i am not splitting this into two chapters fuck off.

so, yeah! also i'm sorry to oomf, who always cries when they reread the fic because fictional britain is homophobic. ummmm. sorry. lancelot has issues. again, please feel free to talk to me about kniroun.

- - -

2.

when the moon fell in love with the sun (all was golden in the sky)

short fics collection, lone wolves week, mostly platonic with azuhiso and azuchika thrown in

lone wolves week 2022! i ended up putting all my little drabble submissions into one fic. i think i wrote most of them the day before the actual day it was supposed to be posted? as usual, i skipped free day because i'm so bad at those.

azuma and sakuya one was cute and domestic! i like them and i always have camellia to cherry blossom on the brain (the fic by desikauwa i think) so yeah!

azuchi brainrot is azuchi because my friend super loved azuchi when they were into a3 and it rubbed off on me lol

the hisoka and sakuya one is silly because the entire fake play it's based off is actually a sakuya/homare play. nieves (hisoka) is my favorite because i love hisoka, and she's in love with zenaida (citron) to a. hm. questionable degree because i'm a sucker. liberato's (sakuya) the colead, he's cute but a menace, and he betrays vedasto (homare, lead) at the end of the second act. other actors in the play are ramil (azuma) and basilio (chikage), and all the names are based off filipino gods/names/words.

azuhiso cute and soft there's nothing much to say, tbh.

chikage & hisoka is the. most un-normal one. idk. they have me fucked up. they are also fucked up. they are traumatized in the same way but in a different way but they are family and it's. certainly a thing.

the last chikage & sakuya one is. hmm. i think it's inspired partially by another similar fic that percy timeskipped wrote + partially by the scene in act 12 (or 11?) where sakuya sees aunt yoshinaga, but don't quote me on this because i barely remember writing this tbh.

- - -

3.

Jun. Fucking. Hates. DRINKING PARTIES.

tasuhoma, nonokou, nocturnality

this one was for a valentine's fic exchange and i actually like nonokou a lot! i'm personally a furarei nonokou kind of guy, so getting the excuse to write it was fun! nonomiya is such a normal guy, it's fun to see him get tossed into shenanigans, whether that's the supernatural kind, or his dumbass coworker-slash-lover gets shitfaced

- - -

4.

utsuki chikage rates harry potter characters on how hot they are

crackfic

i have nothing to add. this is one of those fics where i basically just write down the stuff my friends say but make a3 characters say them. like the kfc crocs thing. discord servers are wild

- - -

5.

'cause i'm not too far, and you're my favorite place

chikaita, fluff, established relationship

this was a commission for my friend, cg! truth be told, i only really got into chikaita around like, december last year, thanks to rptwt. i'm usually an itatsumu guy, but i love all the ships!

this one turned out super cute and i'm really happy! honestly there's nothing much to say, i just think that they deserve a cute little date with no danger of anything.

- - -

6.

Letters in Paper Airplanes

madomika

okay so backstory on madomika. me and some friends were playing frantic fanfic earlier in the year and then ended up with this ship? so CLEARLY. _CLEARLY_. I DECIDED TO BE INSANE ABOUT IT. because i love madoka and i love mika so clearly i am insane about this.

they're just so cute and understanding and soft spoken, but they really do care about each other a lot! in general, i think mika deserves a lot!

this fic is actually the 5000th (i think. or 6000th) a3 fic on ao3! my friend also wanted to be that milestone fic but i beat her to it and it was a little petty of me ;;; sorry aud

- - -

7.

Love is Stored in the Car's Center Console Box

igawa & tenma, father's day

father's day fic! this one's pretty straightforward, i just adore tenma and igawa's relationship and i hope we get to see them more moving forward! i like to contrast tenma's relationship with issei vs with igawa. umm. igawa best dad.

- - -

8.

The Ocean at Sunset

hisohoma, established relationship, dresses

this was for a pride month exchange! umm, honestly, i'm not auper sure if i captured what my giftee wanted, but i had fun writing it! i... actually i just like writing hisoka as down bad as humanly possible.

it was challenging for sure, tho! because i. am not good at writing hisoka, despite him being my fave. so i'm not sure what compelled me to write in hisoka's pov. but i think it worked out!

- - -

9.

You've Got My Time, You are My Plans

tonoita, established relationship, breakfast

this was supposed to be for the "spoiled" prompt of rarepair week, but i finished it early, got another idea for the prompt, and then decided to just post it solo instead.

i am. coming out as a tonoita liker. they make me feel vicious. feral. it's insane. this was kickstarted because my friend likes them and i got dragged in. funny banter. but also they are exes. but also they are still in love with each other. they both hurt each other but they are both stubborn. i want them to make out.

- - -

10.

(before you went on a journey) i had something that i wanted you to hear

banri & itaru, background chikaita, nobles au

another comm for cg! this one's based off an au that i have called prestige au, where basically as a kid itaru was forced to move out and live alone in a separate manor as his noble family, and his isolation continues to adulthood causing rumors to spread. banri's his bio brother in this one.

it was tricky to write because i got used to expanding this au verse through rp, but writing it out like this was fun too!

if you're curious, you can ask me about prestige au because i love my little blorbo. my little fumkin guy.

- - -

11.

everything stays right where you left it

banmisu, first meeting, canon compliant

day 1 of rarepair week for the pairing "forgotten". um. okay, the thing is, i'm pretty sure banmisu wasn't my original plan for this. i'm fairly sure it was supposed to be some other ship actually, but things changed and i don't remember what the original ship was! also i forgot where i put the original list of ships i was gonna do so yeah.

banmisu brainrot is juju's fault btw. that's all. i think banmisu is such an interesting ship to think about. this is also partially mikael's fault i think but that's from years ago. please feed me more.

- - -

12.

Silk-Spun Threads

azutsumu, slightly more mature idk

I AM THE NUMBER ONE AZUTSUMU ADVOCATE. it's up there as one of my favorite fuyu ships, right beside tsumuhiso! i think as a pair they're super slept on so i decided that yeah. i think they're neat. i think this super hot and gorgeous and sensual person should be _down fucking horrendous_ for the chuuni mushroomhead with dirt on his face.

that is to say, please make more azutsumu food i need this

- - -

13.

How to Melt Your Gamer Boyfriend

hisoita

OKAY THIS ONE. day 3 - heat haze. the other prompt was downpour. and actually, this day was supposed to be banmado downpour where bamri shows up at fuyou while it's raining to pick madoka up from class. and i ended up not writing it because i was struggling so i settled for the good, old-fashioned itaru pov cute fluffy fic.

i love hisoita a normal amount. i think this is the only hisoita i wrote this year but 2022 was the year of hisoitas (thank you bee and quill), and ali (hisoita oomf) is definitely a major part of my brainrot

- - -

14.

Starlight

juligawa, we ignore canon, fluff

i'm pretty sure the tumblr ppl don't know about juligawa which is super funny. i love talking about juligawa because i love seeing people like WHY ARE YOU SHIPPING JULY AND IGAWA and my answer is that it's fun.

this is the only rarepair week fic i actually finished before the week (aside from the tonoita one) and i was so excited to share it to specifically attack oomf. ryu ryukogo ceo of juligawa real! i am so attached to this funny little crackship i hope them happiness

- - -

15.

Wheel of Suits

citoju, citron harem au

i feel like this one requires a lot of context. um. back in 2020/2021 i ended up in a discord roleplay game where basically my friend and i roleplayed citron and july respectively. and the thing is that they literally just antagonized each other the whole time and then we decided that _yeah we are ill for this ship now_ so yeah.

citron harem agenda is an entirely separate au where everyone i ship with citron is part of his bigass royal harem. this is literally everyone from tsuzuru to azuma, barring guy, plus augju. you can also ask me about this if you want. each of them has a specific like little character arc and they have fun little limk skills and everything.

okay, back to citoju. umm. so the thing is. this wasn't supposed to be the first citoju fic. but i did not have the time or energy to write a 20k fic featuring truth and betrayal and first love and separation and forgiveness and tenderness so here we are. nonetheless. i love em.

- - -

16.

Hollow Gods

harutsumu, first meeting, pre-canon

i really... really... like harutsumu. i think they're fun and they are _actors_, and they have so much love and passion for it that it makes me want to make them kiss. i also like to think about how fucked up godza was to like. everyone. literally everyone. even reni. no one was winning. if i could i'd love to expand harutsumu's dynamic and relationship but idk.

- - -

17.

Caravan

georgetim, lucitim, kazuhoma, kazutsumu, lumicirc

i am so insane and fucked up over georgetim you would not believe it. okay first off this was supposed to be purely kazutsumu because they're one of my fave ships to think about, but then lumicirc happened.

i hate lumicirc. because. GOD.

i'm just going to copy and paste the essay gave my friend because i am ill over them

anyway. this is fucking horrible why is tim so in love with george. why are they clown augju. george is so DUMB and a ditz and totally golden hearted and tim is more realistic and logical but at the same time he owes george his everything and he loves george so much for being there for him and giving him a family and i just. god what the fuck the pining i hate this stupid ship i feel very violence

they have me in a VISE GRIP george is such an idealist and an optimist and tim is the realist that levels him out, but even in the play you can tell that tim does care about george so much and he's the only one who stayed when nick and will both left but tim has always been by his side!! they even trained together doing circus acts when they were younger

tim can come off kind of cold but he's just like. a little blunt and i care about him a lot he's very realistic but he's not a bad guy,, he wants the circus to succeed too, just like george. they're working for the same dream. i am crying

anyway, please consider

- - -

18.

you could be my queen, i could be your dream

summer troupe, frantic fanfic, humor

after rarepair week i got into a super writing slump for like a solid 3 months, where i could barely write anything. this one was for an exchange that i signed up for a few months prior, but finishing it gave me a sense of accomplishment. like, i had to sit down and write and write _something_ and i did and i finished it and i like it!

so about the fic. it's so stupid. don't let the title fool you, it's literally just a funny little fic where summer troupe writes franfic. i had like a spreadsheet open for everything and all the pairs that went together and who everyone got i swear i'm sane.

- - -

19.

Black and Red Dress

mukuyuki, minatori, last runway, +3ghosts, major character death, hospitals

this one was a commission for ryu! minatori (minato [muku +3ghosts] and kikukawa [yuki last runway]) the world! the ship started because of just some silly roleplay we did on a whim and then we got attached. god. they are cute and tragic, best combo

i actually finished this comm the day after ryu asked for it because i went insane and speedran it. ummmm. :> yeah.

- - -

20.

Stapler Eater and Papercut Boy

bansaku, soulmate au, first meeting

comm for raina! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS THE ONLY BANSAKU FIC I WROTE THIS YEAR. actually, the entire year i was struggling to write as much as last year but you know what. i'm okay with that actually. 20 fics is still a lot. anyway.

soulmate au where the marks on your skin appear on your soulmate's skin. it's super cute and fluffy and me and raina talk about their funny little dynamic on twitter and i just love it. i love them.

- - -

bonus!

Memory Foam

citochika, non explict sex

this one's on anon actually but yeah i wrote it. i was having a time. i love citochika and the trust and love in their relationship. i love writing chikage in nsfw situations and then making it unbearably soft and tender. i'm normal. 👍

- - -

bonus!

twitter rp thread speedrun! (i'm not linking these, that's embarrassing.)

hazuki au

i want him to be happy. do you ever think about what if the org found out about mankai? yeah. fucked up. but he's my baby and i care him so much i'm sorry for traumatizing him

74 threads

ngl not all of my writing in these threads are my favorite but you know it's super fun coming up with thoughts and ideas for july to torment itaru so

sunflower july au

...... july nice guy era? i wish i'd finished it. but anyway. i think i can fix him

hafez au

i'm sorry i keep fucking up the bunny, i didn't mean it! yes i did. i think it's fun to watch chikage react to various horrible situations. i love the hurt part, but i love the comfort part. i love seeing him heal and get over his past and move forward. yes i know i gave him that horrible past but you can't just say secret mercenary spies and leave it at that a3

- - -

OKAY END. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING. if you clicked any of the links i love you. hope to write more next year! :3

#a3 #lanchan talks #fic writing wrapped

[mushroomwriter]

(pt 1) "Atleast we can suffer together!" lol true! Gosh, that line (and tbh that whole scene with Sergio and Martín murders me of FEELS)... it's just so angsty cause it's not even the fact Andrés died, but he was also sick and Sergio knew that and he still never truly considered the possibility of his brother dying :(

BTW, what headcanon for the hermanos backstory do you subscribe to? I'm not sure when you first started the show, but I watched the show back when s3 was just released and in those days everyone subbed to the hc that they were half brothers, and there was this interview where Alvaro mentioned even more headcanons abt the bros (they shared a father, who abandoned Andrés for Sergio & his mom, then after he died Andrés appears on the scene and tells Sergio he is his brother, took care of him for medical treatment etc)... of course, 2 years later s5 seemingly retconned all that and just made them normal full(?) brothers growing up in the same household with both parents which I didn't appreciate very much lol. Anyway, just asking you that because some of my thoughts about the hermanos are influenced by my thoughts about their childhood - especially if Andrés raised Sergio as a kid, it makes everything so much more WORSE and heartbreaking cause of course he'd have grown up thinking his older brother is invincible almost, right? Interested to know what you think!!

(pt 2) Yeah all but one of my exams are done with... meh I've been pretty miserable but thank you for all your kind wishes! You're so right, if Andrés just mentioning Sergio makes us feel things, I can't even imagine what a whole scene with them together again would do!! I miss Sergio too 🥲 Once again, feel free to take your time and wait for the inspo, I actually came across an angsty quote that might fit the Scene that shall not be Named and since you love pain, I will tell you. "I wanted to fall down right there but I knew you wouldn't catch me because you're dead." - Richard Siken. Don't think about how as Andrés fell, Sergio was also falling in Helsinki's arms. (Also please don't feel like I'm forcing you to make a gifset with the quote or anything, I'm sorry if it comes across that way I just wanted to share for the #hermanos angst) I have no words for your next para but just. yes. I agree with everything you said. I will never get over the fact he literally tried to run back into the (idk how many metres long) tunnel himself despite knowing the police were on the other side and it would almost definitely lead to capture but Sergio was willing to risk all that just to get his brother to safety :( (pt 3) "When they're together, they're a big brother and a little brother" I knowww 🥺🥺 it makes me so SOFT. I'm with Andrés, how can you possibly eat breakfast when the world's most precious hermanito is not there yet? That scene when he wakes up Sergio is so sweet, Sergio looks so adorable and just the fond amusement Andrés has when he picks up the book "did you stay up late studying again" and how gentle he is when waking him up, Sergio also does not startle in the slightest, in that small moment you can see how familiar they are, how much they both love and trust each other, your honour I LOVE THEM!! Ah the Toledo house always makes me think how they spent those 5 months pretending to be strangers, I mean you can't tell me that Sergio was also not taking every excuse he can to spend more time with his brother (it's DEFINITELY to discuss important plans with the heist Captain!) but I like to imagine Sergio also took care of Andrés in secret, helping him with the meds and stuff... despite everything, Andrés did have a clock running out and they both knew it :( On another sidenote, I've been wanting to write a oneshot of the bros in Toledo since like 2020 but I never got around to it LOL so thank you once again for letting me ramble abt the heist brothers to you Oh god yes, those lyrics truly come straight for the heart and make Sergio's grief infinitely worse! Awww I'm glad you enjoy my thoughts (and I hope you haven't regretted your invitation yet) Haha, you should probably put this one under a cut too, how do these things always get so long??? Truly the hermanos live rent free in my head... but you're right it's great the Range of thoughts they give us from sheer tragedy to happy little childhood memories asdfjsk. YES IT'S THE CUTEST EVER and Alvaro plays it so well :') Comfort scene of all time to me <3 No, thank you for your patience and just being so lovely!! As always, it gives me so much serotonin to talk with you abt the heist bros ❤ Have a great day/week whenever you see this!! (also I hope you got all 3 parts, my wifi is being so weird rn 😭 I can't imagine how confusing it would be to get only 1 half or someth, anyway. pls ask me to resend if tumblr did in fact disappear an ask)

So true (that scene really leaves me on the floor suffering!!)... he knew and yet... at the very least he was convinced they were going to have time after the heist (the scene where he's giving instructions to the other band members about where they'll live etc. always gets me because he was supposed to go somewhere with Andrés...)

About the hermanos' childhood, I feel like I'm an outlier there 😅 because I learned of that headcanon later, I don't remember exactly when, for sure after watching season 3, and season 3 gave me the impression they were full brothers, because I think we get scenes where Andrés refers to their mother and to their father in a way that made me go, okay, so they share both parents. You know, the scene where he tells Sergio he's got mom's disease and the scene where he asks him where did dad go wrong when he robbed the bank... So when after that I saw that interview I didn't really embrace (? I don't know how to say that lol) the half-brothers headcanon because the show had already given me another impression. On the other hand, I immediately accepted the idea of Andrés bringing Sergio to Russia where he got the cures he needed (also because lol that's a point they never clarified in the show, right? How he ended up healing). That said, I really like the potential and implications of the half-brothers headcanon too... like, for example, as you said, Andrés basically raising Sergio. I think you can kinda work that into the full-brothers scenario as well, though maybe not quite at the same level, because if their parents already had trouble with medical expenses for Sergio when they both were there, once their mother was alone I imagine she really had to bury herself into work, which left Andrés in a position to really have to take care of Sergio... also as I mentioned I believe he was the one who found that hospital in Russia where Sergio could be cured, and found a (probably not very legal) way to take him there and so on... and at this point I like to play with both options and confront them and see like, okay, in half-brothers scenario Andrés probably resented their mother for abandoning him while in full-brothers scenario he ended up resenting her because she couldn't take proper care of them and (probably especially) because she failed to come up with a way to save Sergio's life, Andrés had to take matters into his own hands. And I think it's super interesting that he doesn't end up resenting Sergio (which I think he could have easily done in both scenarios! Like, in half-brothers scenario because he was abandoned for him, and in full-brothers scenario I have to imagine his unhealthy little brother received a lot more attentions!) One thing I think we get more intensely in the half-brothers scenario is that taking care of Sergio is really a Choice, like he really didn't have to and still!

Oh, and regardless of scenarios, I really love the idea of Andrés being the one who ultimately saved Sergio's life, it's possible that at some point doctors in their hometown were a bit resigned about him not making it but Andrés was like NO. And he did save him! I bet he's ferociously proud of that, and maybe it's another think that makes him feel especially protective of his hermanito (and makes Sergio feel like Andrés can do ANYTHING).

I see, at least you're almost done... ugh, I'm so sorry, I get it... I hope once you get rid of that last one too you'll feel a bit better... Gosh, I would probably never ever stop screaming if we get a new hermanos scene! And HOLY HELL, that quote fits the whole thing so well, I feel sick! Literally literally Sergio falling but he's not falling in his brother's arms, his brother isn't there anymore... no, absolutely, don't worry, it goes without saying that I appreciate the #hermanos angst, and suggestions about quotes that could fit them are always welcomed (I mean, as of right now I wouldn't know how to make a gifset with it but maybe by turning it over and over in my head I'll get an idea...)!! Also, I actually got inspiration for a gifset about them, finally!!! from another Richard Siken's quote, no less (he was really writing about them lmao), like I'm still not completely sure of which scenes to use, but I do have an idea, I hope it'll work :D

Oh god that's true. Oh man he really tried to run into that tunnel, no matter how crazy that was... I cry!!

It's trueee, that scene where Andrés wakes Sergio up OVERFLOWS with familiarity, it's so clear it's not the first time he had to wake his little brother up after he stayed up late to study and had to pick up some book Sergio left lying around... he's so fondly amused!! Please and now I'm smiling so much at the idea of Sergio coming up with Very Important Topics He Needs to Discuss with The Heist Captain... and I wonder how many times they were the last ones left in a room (a mere coincidence, of course!)... and yeah, I bet Sergio also played the Finding Many Small Ways To Take Care Of You game, this is making me emotional! Hehe I'm happy I gave you the chance to talk about these things, if you ever get around to write that please let me know (if you want to of course)

I definitely don't regret my invitation, when I saw your new messages I was like yessss! Oh right, at this point the ability to put things under a cut is my friend sjsjsjsk but I feel you, I can't get them out of my head!!

Don't mention it!! Talking with you about the hermanos is such a serotonine boost, and honestly I very much needed that, the last few weeks have been pretty tiring! Thank you, I hope you do too, despite that accursed exam! Please take care! (Also as you can see all three parts made it safely to my inbox, thankfully!)

#p #my askbox

[ruhrohrps]

so i saw a little of a discussion about colorism and if i could chime in for a second. for full transparency i'm a mixed indigenous person and i'm light skinned, and if i overstep here someone pls feel free to call my ass out. we're all here to learn and grow. anyway, yes of course we're still POC, but i feel like in RP especially when there's a bunch of lighter fcoc and no or maybe one dark fcoc it's. a bit suspicious. like it honestly feels like a cop out for "how much can i ignore that this person isn't actually white" because in my own experience i've seen time and time again lighter poc with more eurocentric features being everywhere but then for darker fcs and/or ones that don't conform to european beauty standards, crickets.

i'm sorry this is sooo late, ugh.

i'm trash, okay? life has been ROUGH.

i understand where you're coming from, and i feel that all voices and shades deserve the right to have their stories told. i just wish there was a way to make it more realistic of the world we live in (the representation of all sorts of people from different races/ethnicities) without offending a group of people or making it seem as though a group is saying someone isn't black enough or indigenous enough, ect.

there was someone on tiktok who was being told they were white via tiktok comments, when they are indeed mixed and a poc. at school, they experienced a boatload of racism because it was a very white school and they didn't display the same features. It's frustrating for people such as them, that experience racism and have harder obstacles in the ways of identity because they're black, indigenous, ect, enough to experience the racism all their life - but they are too light to be a poc (says the internet and many others)? so... where do they go? where do they fit-in or feel safe?

honestly, it's a huge grey area. we don't know what any of these public figures whom we utilize as face claims experienced unless they voice it, but even then we only know what they feel comfortable in sharing. we didn't live their stories, so who are we to dictate if they're 'enough' in any way?

i think maybe the best course of action would be for admins to take on these darker fcs, encourage their players and other writers to do the same. but not to bash or restrict those who are mixed, because they also deserve to have representation. i feel that bashing those who are lighter mixed is only hurting? gotta think hand-in-hand not knocking one down or pushing one aside so the other gets some time. i have been seeing a lot more darker-toned fc resources lately, so that's cool and no longer an excuse tbh for people saying they don't wanna play x, y, z, cause of 'no resources'

now i'm rambling cause my brain is mushhhh i'm sorry

#rpt #rph #rpc #tw colorism #tw racism mention

[onwriting-hrarby]

theres so many good things i could say about sunshine and rainbows honestly its so hard to pick a favourite part!! but for me, i really really loved when it was the performance night at the end, and we watched it in erens pov. like legit my heart fluttered at the way the author wrote it, i could truly honestly feel how high up against the world mikasa is seen by eren, the genuine way his whole heart and soul believes her to be his only goddess. that particular scene the way it was decribed and executed was so magical to me. they’re two very different scenes, but that scene had as much impact and magic on me as that scene in “instead they said” where em makes love in the sea!! so incredible so much depth and beauty. i literally held my breath youre so good

but i think the angst as sad as it was really was what kept me hooked to sunshine and rainbow. i legit felt like i was torturing myself reading mikasas pov after she caught eren and hisu. legit tears in my eyes and my heart ached so baaad. that level of insecurity and feeling of inadequacy mikasa felt had felt so horrible even to me as a reader. theres just something so vile in the feeling of betrayal and jealousy and how it eats on your skin. (tbh i looooove reading that in em fanfics, it hurts so bad but its such good angst😩 idk why i keep torturing myself)

but yeah same here, i wouldve probably reacted like sasha, it was actually hard for me to empathise with hisu even because in earlier chapters she wasnt really that nice to mikasa. i believe sunshine and rainbows mikasa is an actually whole saint to have sympathised and requested eren to go talk and apologise to hisu, not sure if i wouldve done that myself no ones built like mikasa lol. but yeah i do commend the way the author had somewhat villainize historia (in a writing perspective) where its hard to completely empathise with this character knowing what shes like in other scenes. now that i think about it, her flawed character reminds me of RJ historia where we cant fully empathise with her because she had some inherent racism herself right? like the way she viewed RJ mikasa or compared her struggle to poc’s and minorities. its like a hate love relationship between us and its characters. i love love love it when writers really make you think about how you feel about a character

sorry im rabbling, please stop me if you dont feel comfortable!!

Oh please, not at all, I love rambling AND i love interacting, so feel free!

You're completely right about Mikasa's pov after cheating!!! I had forgotten about that chapter and I really liked the way the author relied on just one sentence that Mikasa kept repeating to ensure that angst and confusion. I've never been in a cheatin situation but I have felt the inequacy of being you multiple times, and it hit hard. I could empathize with Mikasa much more than with Eren in that fic, mostly because I am tired of the "I'm so hurt I'm not a good person" narrative. I've had some friends who went through something similar to Eren, and they kind of passed their bad behaviour through hurt. But for me, there are no excuses to hurt others. I did empatize with Historia, though! I have been in competitive groups like dancing and that kind of relationships exists, and the way it was portrayed it felt very real that H and M wouldn't have had a good relationship because Historia feels threatened. I don't feel that Mikasa was a saint, though, because the cheating was Eren's fault, not Historia!

Yes, it's a hate-love relationship with our characters snd the way we craft them, and I think that' the beauty of not creating purely good characters or people. We humans are not pure at all! We might want good things but we also hurt a lot. It's complicated to manage expectation as readers, too! But those kind of stories that made us feel all wrong are the best because we get to go deep inside a character enough to be willing to understand them, while we would have turned the other way in real life.

(Ps: thank you very much for your nice words about Rj and ITS! I can't believe someone remembers that fic. I am torn about uploading it again but I want my sis to read it before so I know whether to turn it into a novel or not!)

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

#long post #writing #ethical non-monogamy #relationship styles #relationship models in fiction #also that kindle link is an affiliate link #because fuck giving amazon free recs

[somewhat-crazy]

vday creepypasta hcs!! the creeps in an long distance relationship<3

this is barely any of them, i'm so sorry. i hope you enjoy tho :')

jeff

okay jeff would actually be up for ldr more than people may think

except for the fact that he's kinda paranoid and possessive but he'd just make ben hack your stuff to make sure you're not scamming him or smth

you two met on a dark web dating site. "but avi", you might say, "i'm not on the dark web, and i don't think they have dating sites". too bad, this is my blog and my hcs, and it is now a thing

he was just being himself, rambling about some of his knives and other weapons, and you ended up somehow joining the conversation :|

jeff doesn't believe in love at first... uh... message (?), but you just hit different okay 😩 he just found it easy to talk to you since you sounded like you actually wanted to hear what he said

after that you guys started talking more, and he found himself becoming more affectionate to you. he didn't assume love had anything to do with it, but after a while he started to consider it

you accidentally mentioned that you liked him one time, and he went 👀 start of a happy relationship

you two go on calls a lot. jeff isn't someone who's amazing at speaking, so for the first while you were doing all talking. after a bit, though, he began to open up and always make you smile when he starts off on some random topic like how to break a bone or hiding bodies<33

ben

he was cyber surfing one day and ended up hacking your computer lol

after watching you for a while and thinking you looked really cool he found a server/social media you were on and messaged you pretending that he just randomly found you (which wasn't a complete lie)

he ended up looking through your search history to see what you liked and found out all your common interests so he could pretend like it was some twist of fate that brought you together<3

it wouldn't actually be ldr with ben since he can travel through electronics. he wouldn't reveal much about himself and the fact that he's a ghost until one day you said you wish you could see him face to face

then bam. he appeared in front of you. you screamed. he still teases you about that.

so tbh you guys visit a lot, but you can at least say that it started off as long distance!!

not to sound creepy, but even if you're just voice calling he'll look through your camera a lot. it's cute bc you always say that you're not 'camera ready', but somehow you always still look so cute in your messy hair, pjs, or smudged makeup.

ben always hacks hours stuff so when you log on in the morning a little message will pop up. most of the time a funny joke and telling you that he loves you, or sometimes a love letter if he's feeling soft and romantic ^^

e. jack

jack would be quite hesitant to get into an online relationship, and never really imagined himself being in one

you two actually met by accident through ben who knows way too many people through the internet (same dude, same)

you were playing a game with ben and jack found your personality interesting, although he didn't support online friends. (he's the person that doesn't want you to accidentally talk to serial killers ... bc literally he is one)

he thought you were cool tho, and ended up relenting when ben forced him to play a round against you

slightly surprised by how well you two got along, he always kept an ear open for when ben would be talking with you. then he would make some sort of excuse as to why he had to talk to you :>

after a month or so of just chatting here or there, he finally got thr courage to talk to you one-on-one. HE WAS SO NERVOUS BC WHAT IF YOU WERE SOME CRAZED PSYCHOPATH THAT WOULD STALK HIM OR SMTH (wow jack you're one to talk .-.)

he's not one for texting, which is why everyone starting teasing him about his crush on you when he would always be on his phone or computer, typing away

it took him like 6 months to finally confess, and he made the rule that he had to meet you before anything progressed. hey, if you weren't legit you would just be a free meal

happy valentines day everyone!! if you're feeling lonely please know that ilysm and you deserve love even if you don't feel like you do. please stay safe and take care of yourself, just take a few minutes to let go and smile, alright? feeling alone is a normal and valid feeling, but it never lasts! you're really special and there will always be someone, whether romantic or platonic, out there who recognizes you as the amazing individual you are.

#HEY ILYSM W-WILL YOU BBEMY VALENTINE 😭👉👈 #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta headcanons #ben drowned #creepypasta ben drowned #jeff the killer #creepypasta jeff the killer #jeffery woods #jeff the killer headcanon #jeff the killer x reader #bendrowned #ben drowned headcanon #ben drowned x reader #benjamin lawman #ben drowned creepypasta #eyeless jack x you #eyeless jack headcanon #eyeless jack creepypasta #creepypasta eyeless jack #eyeless jack #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #WTH??? BE MY**** #JUST REALIZED THAT IM SORRY LOVES

[yea-baiyi]

Hi....if you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top 5 favorite characters from TGCF? And your top 5 (or top 3) favorite moments from the novel? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

omggg of course i don't mind u asking, i'll never turn down an excuse to ramble about my faves :') I tried to keep this short-ish though bc I don't want this to be suuuuper long.

(update: i failed but well! it could have been longer!)

top 5 characters from tgcf:

1. hua cheng. obviously i cannot shut up about my boy. he's so funny and bitchy and complex and the novel is just less fun when he's not around. he brings out xie lian's funny side and i'm in love with his dedication. most character ever.

2. xie lian gets to be under hua cheng (ha!) because, as i mentioned, he's less funny when hua cheng isn't around. his POV is still delightful but he's less inclined to act on his ridiculousness? xianle arc tends to drag a little for me bc of it. i still love him tho. this novel wouldn't be the fun ride that it is without his bitchy commentary on everything.

3. shi qingxuan. he's literally me irl - the Gender, the silliness, hysterical laughter, the way he latches onto people, how he somehow still suffers from secondhand embarrassment despite being THE most embarrassing person on purpose, it's all suuuper relatable to me. obligated to stan. his enduring cheerful goodness is what i try to be.

4. yushi huang. one of those understated girlboss types, it makes sense that she and hua cheng get along?? i like to stare into space and think about her a lot tbh. woman….

5. feng xin. don't get me wrong i also adore mu qing, but something about feng xin's earnestness really gets to me. the way he was described back when he first fell in love, as eager and innocent and genuine.....i think about that sometimes. plus i love his straightforwardness. plus shooting arrows with his teeth? i would make him my bestie.

honorable mentions: he xuan, mu qing, mei nianqing, quan yizhen, yin you (but only when i read him in a specific light)

moving on...

top 5 moments in the novel (i didn't go back through the novel for this so it's just off the top of my head) (very spoilers):

1. the little exchange between xie lian and hua cheng, when hua cheng is stuck in child form and he basically starts throwing a tantrum because he's so upset at being weak. and xie lian turns it on him and says, 'you've protected me so far, now let me protect you.' like???? fuck?????? one of the last big moments for hua cheng's character. where he's forced to be vulnerable and rely on xie lian and really make this relationship mutual.

2. the temple scene in xianle arc, when xie lian tells the young hua cheng to give up on worshipping him, and hua cheng turns around and declares that he will forever be xie lian's believer and work to become xie lian's source of strength. it's the turning point in hua cheng's early character arc, the moment that set hims on the path to becoming Crimon Rain Sought Flower. I love it it's so important to me i love hua cheng

3. the moment when yin you goes apeshit on quan yizhen. I said before that I only really like yin you in a specific way, and it's this way. his character honestly pisses me off under the moment he snaps and lets all his frustrations pour out. then it's THE most cathartic scene for him. i eat that shit up

4. THE LAVA MOUNTAIN SCENE. F-F-FRIEND. MU QING. YOU DID IT YOU TALKED ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. the way feng xin completely loses his shit like THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE BEEN CONSTIPATED ABOUT???? IT'S SO EASY WE COULD HAVE BEEN FRIENDS ALL ALONG YOU IDIOT. and i love how that convo clears the air immediately. mu qing stops taking offence when he's being teased. feng xin stops being sensitive to mu qing's sarcasm all they needed all along was the assurance that the other wanted to be friends. the fact that this absurd conversation is happening while they're in a lava river trying not to die....GOD xianle trio....

5. and of course, the scene at the end when hua cheng is disappearing. everything about it, the pure joy xie lian feels when discovering that hua cheng was wu ming all along; the brief outpouring of love, the fear from xie lian, the trust from hua cheng. the fact that at the very last moment, hua cheng's unwavering faith is now turned on xie lian: now it's his turn to wait. and have faith. the visual of hua cheng dissolving into butterflies. i'm a sucker for a gorgeous mental image and this book is FULL of it.

this is so long!!1 wew

honorable mentions: coffin scene, cave of a thousand statues, the confrontation between he xuan and shi wudu, hua cheng disguised with yushi huang, shi qingxuan getting his fan back, feng xin getting rammed by sqx's boobs, pei ming running away from yushi huang, i could GO ON

#this was SO long #tgcf #tgcf meta #sorta #xie lian #hua cheng #shi qingxuan #sqx #yin you #he xuan #quan yizhen #qyz #yushi huang #pei ming #hualian #beefleaf #top 5 #long post #i wonder if i should put a cut in idk #anyway i could GO ON. i alrd did posts for the cave of statues and coffin scene #but like. give me a scene and i could go on aboutit tbh #ngl a lot of my opinsions on characters have to do w like. #character archetypes and arcs #hua cheng especially my favourite boy he fascinates me so #much #like his character type is one that usually has an extended character arc and we sort ofexperience that in the peripheral #and i just love it!!! i love him #i could also just mention a million little moments between hualian #that i adore #ask

[allkinds-oftrash]

Just watched Eternals; here are my thoughts as a Marvel fan and film student:

(Also I stopped using the dashes halfway through and its mostly rambles and funny comments so don't mind it and this is long so everything is under the cut)

- Hnnng the too dark lighting strikes again in night scenes - who was the gaffer I just wanna talk!

- Every time I see Thena's suit I get sad that it's CGI; yes it looks great but I can now also tell that it's fake. Like there's literally no weight to it and doesn't affect Jolie's movements at all

And I'm sure she must have felt out of character without a proper costume to embody. You know how in the older movies the actors used to say that wearing the suit really made them feel like the hero they were portraying (CEvans and Hemsworth come to mind) and Jolie didn't even get that experience.

- Wtf is Druig doing - is this what people meant that he's a cult leader??

- Does Ajak not speak at all??? Hello yall can't cast Selma Hayek and do her dirty like this

- Of course the English museums stole their artifact; are we even surprised??

- Listen Dane and Sprite are funny af; the dialogue is hella witty

- I love their family dynamic

- Ngl I'm living for the visuals

- Phastos is a mood for wanting us to advance faster

- I'm sorry Druig's powers make him so creepy even if he is cute with Makkari

- So Sersei's powers is basically being the Avatar hshshs

- I can't decide who I like her better with

- Wtf there's an actual sex scene in this; I thought yall were joking I'm so glad I'm watching this on my own rn

- Seeing everyone in traditional Indian clothes during the wedding made me so emotional as an Indian girl welp hshshhs

- Excuse me wtf they really killed off Selma Hayek after like 5 mins of screentime?? And thank god she speaks but also !!! Why would you do this to me Marvel

- The non linear timeline is not working for me welp; this should have been a series tbh to help flesh out all the characters properly and each century or so

- What is going on Thena?? She has alien dementia???

- Druig being the group's devil's advocate but also that's valid especially after he just witnessed genocide and was told not to interfere

- EW WTF IS THIS; why couldn't they just do the whole song in Hindi SCREAMS

- The choreography is on point though

- HAHAHAH FRIENDS FROM COLLEGE - I love Kingo so much alr

- I can't believe he's doing a film based on Ikaris I'm crying

- Way to kill the vibes on set damn

- Karun is iconic and valid

- Not the Eternals documentary

- Him being his whole family acting dynasty we love to see it

-Honestly this film should have just been Kingo's documentary; this is hilarious

- The way Ikaris looked so betrayed when Sersei said even he couldn't take down the Deviant. Yall this is a comedy

- Gil is such a wholesome dad type I love him

- I love this family dyanmic so much; the ribbing and roasting and still having love for each other

Arishem looks like the Iron Giant welp shhshsh

Honestly at the rate Earth is going right now, come on Celestial Tiamut, take us out 👀

I mean Arishem has a point; its our time let's go

Excuse me what there's no Olympia??? Holy shit he gave them fake memories what the fuck

What the fuck - they are just alien factory made beings???

So really this is all just Arishem's Barbie Dreamhouse if you think about it??

Oh shit he fucked up with the Deviant dolls

Wait if they are all manufactured why can't they just make another Ajak??

Ahhahshsh ofc Kingo is thinking what I'm thinking. He said robots I said dolls but yeah basically synthetic beings made by Arishem

I fucking love Kuran so much - Earth's original superheroes shhshsh

Druig is so unsettling to me welp is it just me?? Cos Ik everyone loves him with Makkari but he just creeps me out on his own.

Also I've been thinking of this the whole movie but like their accents; listen I know irl it's the actors' accents but like within the film and universe, how does that work?? Did the accents develop from them or did they adopt it after living in their respective areas for that long. Though they all had distinct accents in the beginning so we can say humanity's accents came from them. That's wild to think about.

- Yikes was not expecting this plotline wtf I cannot with the Wendy-Peter-Tink analogy. So technically it is a weird love square with Sprite-Ikaris-Sersei-Dane. Poor Sprite - I hope they can somehow physically age in the future films

Did Dane just ask Sersei if she was Midas??? Bruh she's literally Circe with S-es instead of Cs

"I've missed you" ??? Okay sir you still left though

Lmao man got YEETED in the middle of a century old ghosting apology

I love Kingo and Karun; yes also Karun HOW MANY CAMERAS DO YOU HAVE SIR??

Again would like to talk to the gaffer about lighting night scenes cos what the fuck is this; I can barely see their faces unless my tv was on Vivid screen mode

Thena's Alien Dementia strikes again

"Karun did you get that" I DIED

I wish we had better lighting for this fight scene it does looks pretty dynamic but still doing nothing for me.

Omg the Deviant evolved even more - I'm screaming. Not him getting all high and mighty

NO NOT GILGAMESH!! STOP KILLING THE GOOD ONES WTF

I'm only halfway through wtf and we still haven't seen where Phastos ends up I mean I know but like narratively gimme his modern introduction

"We need Phastos" There we go. But also LET ME MOURN GIL FOR A SECOND

I hate how the general public misinterpreted this scene; HE DID NOT DO IT!! He didn't cause Hiroshima - humans did. He just feels the guilt of it okay. Leave Phastos alone

I LOVE HIM AND HIS FAMILY!! God I love them so much

The whole Superman bit was funny as hell I adore Jack you funky child

"Fall Collection, IKEA, ass" ICONIC

I love Ben so much okay - best husband. Love that he spoke Arabic

AHHAHAHA KINGO'S DOCUMENTARY COMMENTARY.

I love Makkari so much she's so funny and valid

The sibling energy that Ikaris and Druig excluded in that snack swapping scene *chef's kiss*

Wait did Druig and Makkari not date before??? Stfu Kingo I love them

Space colonisation WELP

Thank god he deferred to Sersei I was so confused why everyone immediately went to Ikaris to be the leader like Hello Sersei was chosen. Listen I hate chosen one tropes but I wannna see her growth

Grow up Sprite shsbsh bad joke

Lol Kingo would follow him to the end?? Is everyone in love with Ikaris??

IKARIS KNEW??? THIS MOFO - he deserved to yeet into the sun (listen this is the main spoiler I know of the movie and I found it funny af that Ikaris/Icarus yeeted to the sun)

IKARIS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!! How dare you omg this is all your fault SOMEONE YEET HIM TO THE SUN NOW

I'm so confused?? Was this his programming and now he feels guilty or is he just being dramatically emotionally for no reason?? I would not put it past him to do the latter tbh

Can Ikaris fuck off - he is RUINING EVERYTHING by everything I mean this family because I love them so much

He just fucking crushed them and their hearts LOOK AT THEM IKARIS YOU LITTLE SHIT

Of course Sprite is going with him

Omggg Kingo agrees with him?? Okay Kingo is valid for not wanting to hurt them despite what he thinks

Karun I love you so much and him speaking in Hindi I cry

Holy shit Makkari's yell took me out

Ikaris leave Makkari alone

All the Ikaris puns have me dying

Also the way I thought Thena and that Deviant were gonna be a thing from the trailer - am I wrong or will they speedrun enemies to lovers in the 5 mins of their fight

Wtf Sprite that is not cool - listen Sprite doing this is not going to make Ikaris love you

Eyyy Druig for the win but also I'm sad how quickly the family became dysfunctional and broke down

FUCK NO NOT THE DEVIANT MANIPULATING HER WITH GIL FUCK THIS

Sersei's gonna turn Tiamut into a tree challenge

Ikaris is gonna yeet himself into the sun now isn't he

Lol is frozen Tiamut going to be the 8th Wonder of the World?

HE'S YEETING AHAHAH BRUH WHY ARE YOU SO DRAMATIC

Other than for the meta jokes about Ikaris/Icarus, what was the reason for him doing that??? He said sorry that was a start he could have started to mend it with the rest of them

Awww Druig and Makkari my beloved I love them so much

Omg Sprite becoming human I'm so emo don't touch meee

Yeet the family is mending!! Also omg not Thena putting her hand in a toaster

Her dynamic with Jack is everything

Phastos is such a good dad

Sign me up for the Druig/Makkari spin off where they set the other Eternals free

Sgjagsh Sprite needing to go to school and Sersei and Kingo being proxy parental figures.

"Even Ikaris (follow his heart)" I cannot like Sir got rejected and his solution was to yeet into the sun what even.

What's going on with your family Dane???

Omg what is this storm?? What did Ikaris do

Oh shit never mind its Arishem

Wtf this is so omnious

EXCUSE ME THAT'S HOW IT ENDS??? Can you imagine if it really flopped and never got a sequel gajaghs that would be the biggest cliffhanger ever.

Anyways on my way to go see Harry Styles as Thanos' hot brother

"What?" It's Harry Styles, Druig

Omg I just burst out laughing but like not going to lie Harry killed it. Like the younger 1D fangirl in me loved it but also the film student and Marvel fan appreciated his acting. Like he fits who Eros would be, you know.

Well THANK god they'll return otherwise that would have been major cliffhangers

Oh?? There's another scene?? Oooh okay so this kinda answered my Dane question about his family. Is that the Arthurian sword?? What is that and why is it talking to him - I'm so confused

EDIT: I'm a dumbass I googled his character and forgot he was Black Knight smh - can't wait to see what Marvel's gonna do with him

Overall, I loved it - it gave me the family of superheroes I wanted from the Avengers and yes while I do think it would have been better as a series Chloe Zhao did amazing. Hella entertaining my fave bits were all the dynamics between the Eternals the superhero plot was alright but the family dynamic is what made this movie for me.

#Eternals #Eternals spoilers #My thoughts #Eternals commentary #Eternals thoughts #Kingo #Sersei #Ikaris #Thena #Gilgamesh #Sprite #Druig #Makkari #Phastos

[kachulein]

11 questions: tbz ver!!💞

thank you so much for tagging me @seraphimguks this was so fun to do!!🥺💖 I'm also super sorry for being insanely late with this tag, I've had it in my drafts and completely forgot about it </333

name/nickname:  Laura Jane / Kachu/Lala

country/state: Switzerland

which tbz boy is closest in age to you?  Haknyeon, he's 5 weeks younger than me^^ babie :P

who did you first notice in tbz and why? Hmm, this is hard to say. Before I was a deobi, I saw moots talking about Sunwoo and Changmin because they biased them, and I also heard of Eric (and his friendship with Felix) from said friends, and also learned that there's two more English speakers called Jacob and Kevin. I then got shipped with Younghoon once so I looked up their profile to look at him (and the others). Then I decided that Chanhee is the one who catches my eye most and called him /a bias/. After that, I noticed Hyunjun because of his airport fashion that I adored. And eventually it was Kevin and his cute self as Simply Kpop MC who caught my eye so much that I decided to stan (he's still my bias while Chanhee is my most dangerous bias wrecker haha). But honestly, I'm not sure which member I noticed first as I heard of some members through friends and not because I noticed them on my own - soooooo, you guys decide, idk.😂👉🏻👈🏻

favourite laugh in tbz?  This was so hard to decide... tbh, I really like Moonbae's laugh because - and I might be biased here - my own laugh is a mixture of Jacob's giggles and Kevin's mute suffering/dying 🤚🏻😭 But I also really like Chanhee's and Sunwoo's laugh, they're just so straightforward and loud, it's endearing :'))

if you can only meet 3 tbz members, who would it be? either Kevin, Jacob and Eric (no language barrier haha) or Kevin, Chanhee, and Changmin. I'm 100% sure about Kevin though, I need to see my ult <3 😭

first tbz song you ever heard?  uhmmmm, I think that was actually Boy because I watched their music video when they debuted (I thought a group called "The Boyz" that debuts with a song called "Boy" was super hilarious, so I wanted to check it out ajxjjsks) but I didn't start stanning them back then :( As you can see, sometimes I make bad decisions haha

1 unpopular tbz opinion? hmm, I don't think this is an unpopular opinion?? But idk what would be one since I don't really keep up with fandoms' opinions as I focus more on the artists (fandoms - in general - can be toxic, so I prefer not to engage too much and keep fangirling among my friends/mutuals - in a space where I feel comfortable and safe to express myself), so I'll just talk about /an opinion/ - not knowing whether it's unpopular or not akdkskd. So, tbz are still a bit of an "underrated" group, they've gained a lot of new fans through RTK (edit: I wrote this - all questions - before kingdom) but still, I feel like they deserve more recognition, especially for their performances. I feel like they're one of the best 4th gen performers (I will never forget RTK Reveal stage and Reveal/Checkmate MAMA stage - Hyunjae and Sunwoo going up on that thing - that I don't know what it's called in English - is SO AMAZING, LIKE WHUAT??? Honestly, these will always belong to my favourite performances because it was seriously mind-blowing.

I MEAN LOOK AT IT;;;;;;;

WOW-

So yes, I just feel like they'd deserve a lot more appreciation and recognition for these amazing stages that they deliver!! They must be working SO hard and they're so in sync and just aaaah, it's so satisfying to watch them dance and perform, you know. The world is missing out,,,,🤧🤧

another edit: add their kingdom performances to the list too, because wow, I loved them all so much, they're SO talented!!!😭😭😭

which tbz member is most similar to you? I actually rewrote this answer because I always thought it was Kevin... I still believe we have lots in common but I recently found out that - astrology wise (according to the pattern app) - I'm /very similar/ to Jacob!! The pattern app tells you how similar you are to other people based on your birth charts and there's similarity levels from: very different < somewhat similar, but mostly different < similar < very similar and I kid you not, I've probably looked at my similarity level with at least 100 people (idols, family members, friends) and while I've gotten "similar" with lots of people - Kevin for example - I've only gotten "very similar" with 3 people so far. And one of those 3 people just so happens to be Jacob, so wow! I had no idea that we're that similar based on our charts - but I guess our air sun and shared Leo rising and also shared Virgo & Pisces placements make it make sense ෆ╹ᴗ╹ෆ sorry for the ramble, I'm still so overjoyed with being so similar to him🤚🏻😭

most underrated tbz song? In my not so humble opinion, I'd like to name two of my faves - Shake You Down and Summer Time <3333

give us a good pic of your bias.  

excuse me but how am I supposed to choose JUST ONE when Kevin looks like a full course meal in every pic???✊🏻😔 Just look at him-

also, please don't hate me but I really miss his longer hair, I'm currently in mourning😭😭😭

tagging: @interstellix @http-peachie @jellihye @oddlittlefandomist @key201303 @stealerz and any other deobi - Idk who else of my moots stans them, so pls feel free to do this and tag me so I can see your answers!!^-^💞💞💞

#this was so fun to do omg #i love these kinds of tags aaah #tagged #tag #the boyz tag