#idk how this gets so long every time no matter how short i wanna keep it

[ganondoodle]

still thinking about how even just the decision to basically act like the shiekah tech never existed is just ... so baffling to me

bc again you could have done all the sonau tech does with shiekah instead, and they were perfect to be explored more in a sequel, why wouldnt you grasp that potential, the literal building blocks for more??

if you are that tired of shiekah tech .. dont make it a fuckign sequel to the game prominently featuring it???? totk doesnt take place generations after botw in which things could have changed drastically, its just a few years afterwards??

you want to reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech? ok fine take LINK into the past then and the focus is for you to find a way to return; do some neat twist where its revealed that link was the one who sealed gan bc he couldnt defeat him without zelda or something if you dare (they wouldnt)

want less work than that and still reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech AND reuse characters? ok then make it some alternate universe thingy like majoras mask in which everythign is the same but also isnt, its weird and creepy how characters you thoguht you knew suddendly dont act like themselves, shiekah tech doesnt exist, malice is now miasma, etc, it would give reason to why you feel so much like something about this world is familiar yet also very wrong

as far as im aware every "sequel" we have had so far were either generations apart from the first one, some alternate universe or a different location altogether- in all of which its plausible that things are different, things seem weirdly familiar but also wrong, or that another continent just works different from hyrule

but totk does none of that, its supposedly just a few years after the first game, same world same character, but its BUILT like some strange jumbled mess of stuff from botw and new stuff out of nowhere that just .. doesnt fit, but feeling a strange sense of otherness, a déja vu of something you know but it acts off, like an imposter, thats NOT intentional and it shows, its a mess of botw stuff, from stuff that people missed from the old games and entirely new stuff; i dont doubt it CAN work but the way it turned out is like a mix of 3 different puzzles forced together and being told 'see it fits!' even tho you can clearly see the pieces dont look right in these places

again it feels like a sequel that desperately wants you to forget the first game happened, that anythign from it mattered at all

and that isnt really ... the sense of a sequel? why insist on it being one when it only creates problems? is it marketing?? just like it was marketing to call age of calamity a telling of what happened before botw but then it wasnt that at all and that is still the sole reason why i dislike it? bc i was lied to? totk is like 10000 times worse than that, its a main title and doesnt even have the excuse of yeah its basically an excuse to play all your fav characters in fun ways and the game beign well aware that being its main appeal; what is totk appeal? a toybox with botw aestethic and none of the flavor?

(on a sidenote; the sonau tech doesnt even .. matter? in botw at least calamity ganon was made of shiekah tech parts and him overtaking other tech is a big point, the sonau tech doesnt serve anything but .. idk minerus useless mech? gan doesnt even aknowledge it, he doesnt care, all it is is toys for the player, not link, but the player. the monsters mining the tech materials? what for? gan doesnt give a damn and they dont work for the yiga either??)

i said it before but it gives me the feeling that the way botw invited you to theorize, to look beneath the surface, the way it intrigued you and laid the groundwork for so many interesting things without denying anything.. was accidental? or perhaps put in the game without the directors noticing? i cant stop thinking about them saying sth like "after botw zelda wondered if the kingdom of hyrule needed to keep existing the way it had been before the calamity, but then totk happens" bc it just feels like they realized too late that botw naturally led into questioning the status quo and they scrambled to fit it back into a flat and boring road we have seen so many times before (or even worse really) with totk

zeldas character naturally leads into her questioning and reexamine their history and set of rules? we gotta teach her a lesson of why she is importante god given monarchy girl that has to keep it bc what if evil brown man shows up again for no reason

maybe im grasping at straws here but looking at it this way the sonau .. make more "sense"; the shiekah were a group that was under the rule of the royal family, and misstreated before (oh no look soemthing interesting) so they dont lend themselves well to be used for teaching zelda that lesson- the sonau however are tailored really to be just that; they are a supposedly godly race from the literal sky that founded this version of hyrule, that had tech even more advanced and better than the shiekah, she gets put in the past to meet the perfect god king of goodness personally, also his very fridgy wifey that zelda later replaces in a way, shes put there and treated like family and then gets to see just how evil that evil big man from the desert is, sonia is falcon-punched to death solely so zelda can feel obligated to take over her role, have her new, better 'family' hurt by gan; similarly so raurus sacrifice, look what a noble and good king he is, he payed the ultimate price to lock that evil man away, now zelda you cannot let their sacrifice go to waste, rebuild that divinely good kingdom like it was!!

and even though they go so much out of their way to put the cart back onto the rails of black and white-good and evil in an even flatter way than the old games, it still doesnt feel right, at least to me, it still feels like zelda shouldnt have gone along with all of that, it feels like even her character from botw was walked back entirely, except for the intro, it made her feel like a stranger to me-

because this is a sequel, i know this zelda, she wouldnt act like that after all that shes been through, this feels ... off

and it all just insulting to anyone who cared about botw more than surface level, or the zelda lore in general, i dont even care much about the timeline, but theres alot of lore and themes beyond it that felt ignored, especially so given that .. its a damn sequel, non AU, not generations apart, directly part 2-

but its not.

it even feels very "corporate", put zelda in a dress again, people liked that, put crazy abilities in the game to flashbang people with how insane it is even if its not the best for the gameplay or the story, put a new asthetic into it out of nowhere bc its 'new' and act like its been there the whole time, put gan in there bc people miss him and find him sexy even if his role is just as flat as that of an evil cloud monster-

*sigh*

you know, i saw a post that said aoc was like a bad fanfic (affectionate) and totk was like a bad fanfic (derogatory) and tbh thats like one of the best comparisons/summaries i have seen ..

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rants #long post #look at me go ranting again #there so much i still think about #none of my rants are ever complete tbh #its always a focus on one or two things #there so much to talk about #like all those questions tha shouldnt have been answered #anyway #spend enough time writing all this #also none of my rambling id consider analysis #bc i realyl dont know what im talking about #im just trying to find words for how i feel #and then ramble on #idk how this gets so long every time no matter how short i wanna keep it #i have trouble putting feeling into words and explaining myself #cant you tell? jfkdrghkjdfh

[pascalscoffin]

Muñequita pt. II

Idk idk why I made a part two okay? I’m invested leave me alone

Full Pedro Masterlist

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Warnings: Minirs Go Away I Will Kick You In The Forehead. Girl!dad Javi. Javi struggles with his Colombian past. Javi falling in love with his daughter and reader (all over again) VERY fast. The man’s a simp for his family and he don’t even know em. Javi cries and opens up to reader (he’s still very vague). Valeria loves him literally immediately. Javi is actually scared she won’t and she’s just like “mine.” No season three they’ve got other guys on that case (Steve and Javi refused they just wanna be small town cops now)

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Javier had never been too worried about his clothes before, he didn’t spend very long choosing his outfit and usually just wore what he was comfortable in, but getting up the next morning he was thrown in a spiral. It’s weird, a guy being so worried about what he’s gonna wear to go meet someone.

But this isn’t just someone.

This is daughter. He wants to make a good impression.

And then of course, there’s you. He’s spent the last five years thinking about the night you shared together, not even just the sex. Don’t get him wrong the sex was absolutely magnificent and would most definitely cross his mind more than once.

But, he found himself thinking about the way you made him feel as lot as well, how your laugh had echoed in his brain and then spread into his chest and throughout his entire body, keeping the two of you laughing until your cheeks hurt, which was an odd feeling for Javier, he hadn’t laughed like that since he was a kid.

He hadn’t been looking to meet someone that night at the bar, if he wanted to get laid he would go to Gabriella and get what he wanted from her, but after the day he’d had trying to run down Escobar, he was just too damn tired to talk to anyone.

But then he sat next to you, subconsciously drawn to the warmth he felt near you, not a physical warmth but something that swirled around and warmed up inside him and he wanted more more more.

Eventually he had Steve on the phone.

“Little girls like pink, right?” There was a short silence. “First of all, hello to you too. Second of all, what?”

“Estoy tan harto de ti, pendejo.” Javier rubbed his forehead before sighing heavily. I'm so sick of you, asshole. “Little girls. Do they fucking like pink or not.” “I- usually, yes. But not always. Why the fuck are you asking me if little girls like pink?”

“I’m meeting Valeria today. I want her to like me, pendejo.” “So you think… wearing pink is… is gonna make her like you?” “I don’t know! It couldn’t hurt!” “Look, Javi. Your shirt doesn’t fucking matter.” Steve sighed heavily on the other side. “Where’s Connie.” Javier asked, she was better at advice. “She took Olivia and Jack for ice cream.” Javier groaned loudly.

“Just- she’s five years old, Jav and she’s about to meet her dad for the first time, I don’t really think it matters what you wear, she’s gonna be obsessed with you as soon as she meets you.” Steve chuckled softly and sighed. “… alright. Alright.” Javier stared down at the button ups he’d been staring at for an embarrassing amount of time before putting the white away and deciding to wear the pink one. “Bye.” He hung up and went to shower before getting dressed, trying to scrub every inch of any cigarette he’d had in the last 24 hours off his skin.

He’d been trying to stop but on the way to Steve’s he’d stopped to buy a couple looseys from the one gas station that would sell them.

After that he waited, impatiently, for an appropriate time to call about coming over. Nine was way too early, noon felt… eager, and anything later than one or two felt too late. It resulted in him dialing your number, staring at the numbers before shaking his head and deciding it was too early about four times.

Eventually he decided 12:30 was pretty much the perfect time, so he dialed your number one last time before hitting the green button instead of the red one this time.

When you picked up he heard your voice fade in. “Valeria, don’t climb on the counter. Vas a romperte el brazo.” You’re going to break your arm. “Hello?” Javier didn’t realize he had a huge smile on his face until he looked in the mirror hanging up on his bedroom wall, tucked away from Chucho and his bat-like ears. “Hey- uh- it’s Javi.” “Oh. Hey. So… you heard she thinks my house is a jungle gym.” Javier chuckled softly.

“She seems like the type.” Javi scratched his chin lightly, silence settling over the phone for a moment before he spoke again. “So uh when… when do you want me to.. come over?”

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Valeria had been practically bouncing around the house all morning. When you’d gotten up you sat her down at breakfast and explained to her gently while she was eating that her daddy was home and wanted to meet her. Her eyes had gotten so wide and so bright, she’d practically inhaled the rest of her food before running off to her room, screaming that she had to find something to wear.

You had to follow her and help, of course, she was independent but the truth was if you let her dress herself she’d end up either not wearing anything or end up wearing two dresses, a skirt, and a pair of jeans with one flat and one sneaker. If that seems like an oddly specific example, it’s because you have in fact let her dress herself and she tried to go to school wearing that exact outfit.

“Querida?” Javi’s soft voice through the receiver brought you back as you watched Valeria carefully climbed down off the counter. “I’m here. Sorry. Sorry I was.. just thinking. Um. You can come whenever now. Honestly, the sooner the better because Valeria wants to look pristine when you get here but I can see her resolve cracking every time she looks out the window.” You laughed softly.

Javi laughed a little harder this time. You watched as Valeria ran away from the windows towards you, grabbing your leg and jumping. “¡¿Es él, mami?! Is that him?!”

On the other end of the line Javier could feel his heart squeezing in his chest and you could hear his breath hitch in his throat. “I-I’ll be there soon.” His voice was softer, you almost couldn’t hear him but you did and a slow smile spread across your face. “Okay.” You said softly. “See you soon.”

You hung up the phone and took just a brief second to smile and feel giddy before being sucked into Valeria’s world again. “Is he coming? Is he coming?!” She whined. You laughed softly and knelt down to pick her up. “Yes, mi muñequita, he’ll be here soon.”

Valeria nodded and laid her head on your shoulder and you could sense her nerves start to build up in her tiny little body. “What’s on your mind, muñequita?” You asked softly, rubbing her back gently.

“.. do you think he’ll like me?” You looked down at her quickly. “What? Of course he will. He’s going to love you, Val.” You whispered softly, kissing her cheek gently, feeling that guilt from last night start to settle in your stomach again. Fuck. Is this what the day had planned for you? Constant unimaginable guilt? “He- you’re so smart and funny and energetic. He’s going to fall in love with you the second he sees you. Just like I did.” You kissed her forehead.

She played with the collar of your shirt. Being a mom who literally refused to enjoy herself you didn’t have ‘dress up’ clothes, sure you had nice clothes, but nice clothes for you meant things like shirts that weren’t stained from play time with Valeria or days where she’d be sick and couldn’t stop herself in time to make it to a trashcan- lets just say there’s a trashcan almost everywhere in your house now, just in case she gets sick.

You were, however, wearing your nicest clothes, which was a beige colored v-neck with a little pocket on the front that adorned a heart, your jeans were light wash, a few bleach stains from laundry mishaps, a missing back pocket, the bottoms frayed from dragging the ground, but they fit you really well and you couldn’t bring yourself to throw them away.

“Can I watch Elmo?” Valeria looked up at you hopefully and you laughed softly, nodding. “Of course. Go pick.” You set her down and watched her run over to the VHS collection of Elmo tapes and watched her fondly.

You were shocked how easily she could move on from things, how she could go from nervous and scared to excited and asking to watch Elmo. Though, if you thought back to your night with Javi, he seemed to be the same way, like he was constantly flipping between emotions, urging off certain ones in favor of others.

You wondered briefly if Valeria did the same thing, wanting to watch Elmo to stave off the nervous feelings. When you saw her pick her desired tape, though, you shook the thoughts out and made your way over, putting the tape in and starting it for her, kissing the top of her head as she sat down, immediately entranced.

You went to the kitchen to prep something to eat when Javi got there, figuring you would have lunch together and, hopefully dinner but you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself. The occasional peek in on Valeria told you no matter how glued in on Elmo, if she heard a car she was running to the window, staring out of it in hopes that a car would stop.

Until you heard her let out a loud gasp and tiny scream. “¡Mami! ¡Mami! ¡Él está aquí! He’s here!” She ran into the kitchen and grabbed your hand to yank you to the door. “Come on!” You were glad she was at least following your rule about not opening the door, the yelling inside was going to take more time.

You picked up your feet to walk to the door, she was surprisingly strong for such a small girl but you were just going to blame that on the excitement. As you got closer to the door you felt nervous, the feeling spreading when you heard a door close in your driveway.

“Mommy open it!” Valeria was jumping up and down, standing slightly behind you. “I am, I am.” You laughed and shook your head, reaching out to pull the door open just as Javi was stepping onto the porch.

Javi froze for a second and got that puppy dog look on his face again as he looked at you before his eyes fell down to the tiny figure behind you and his breath caught in his throat.

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Javier looked down at the little girl, his own eyes staring back at him as he swallowed thickly, she’d had a big floppy hat on yesterday so it’d been hard to see her face but god she was beautiful. Fluffy brown curls that reached her shoulders, some pieces sticking out in a way that reminded him of his own hair.

He hesitated a little before slowly kneeling down, wanting to get at her level as you did the same, stepping over a bit so that they could get a better look at eachother.

“Muñequita… this is your daddy.” Javi looked at you when you called her muñequita and wanted to laugh at the irony but all of a sudden a tiny body was slamming into his chest and little arms were throwing themselves around his shoulders.

He blinked rapidly, eyes widening a bit as he looked at you and then down at Valeria, slowly wrapping his arms around her, letting his eyes close as he soaked in the feeling. “Hola, papá.” She said into his neck, the voice so soft and tiny he was ready to give both of you whatever the hell you wanted.

He took a deep breath to steady the shaking feeling in his chest. “Hola, mi Valeria.” He whispered softly. After a moment Valeria was sliding away just a little bit and her tiny little hands were settling on his cheeks and rubbed lightly, giggling happily and hugging his neck again before looking back at you

“Mommy mommy! It really is him! He looks just like me!” Valeria jumped up and down, absolutely overjoyed that she got to meet her dad.

You laughed softly and felt your cheeks warm up a little under the heat of Javi’s gaze. “Come on. I… I made lunch.” The two of you stood up and Valeria bolted inside yelling about Dino nuggets and tater tots, despite you trying very hard to get her to have something else. “It’s my favorite, mommy! He has to know!” She’d insisted.

You’d laughed and shook your head but ultimately agreed and made enough for the three of you because she demanded you all eat the same thing, insisting you’re a family and families eat the same meal.

“Dino nuggets..?” Javier looked at you curiously as he stepped into the house. You laughed softly. “They’re chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs.” You smiled and closed the door behind him. “Oh.” He nodded slowly. “Huh. Okay.” He pursed his lips, making a mental note of that.

“Sorry. Hi. You look great.” Javier turned to you better with a soft smile. You felt your cheeks warm up and laughed a little as you shook your head. “I look as great as the mother of a five year old can look.” “Which is fucking fantastic, Querida.” Javier shook his head. He wasn’t going to get into that, not yet anyway.

So maybe Javi had a thing for milfs, could you blame him? Especially when they looked like you. “Come on! I’m hungry!” Valeria shouted from the table, whining loudly. You blinked rapidly and looked towards the kitchen with a laugh. “We should probably go. The last time I missed lunch- by two minutes mind you, she tried to make her own milk and spilled it… all over the counter and floor.” You spread your hands out and shook your head. “The whole carton.”

Javier raised his eyebrows and looked towards the kitchen, snorting a little. “.. well we better go, then.” He motioned for you to go so he could follow you, his hands rubbing nervously on his thighs behind you, trying so very very hard not to stare at your ass, thanking god when you got to the table and the two of you sat down, Valeria practically bouncing in her seat as she asked Javier to sit next to her, brown eyes big and shining. How could he say no to that face?

He sat next to her with a smile, you dropping yourself down in front of them before starting to deal out the tater tots and Dino nuggets.

Javier listened as Valeria explained the delicacy of biting a nugget, eating a tater tot, and biting the nugget again, even going so far as to show Javier and tell him that was the best way to eat them, to which you’d laughed but ultimately agreed with her.

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After lunch Valeria was finally allowed outside, screaming in joy as she ran, jumping up and down by her swing set. “Will you push me? Will you push me?” She asked Javier, grabbing his arm when the two of you walked over. “Please, daddy?”

Please, daddy?

The words echoed in Javier’s head as he nodded his head slowly, looking down at Valeria with a star struck look on his face. “Of course I’ll push you, Valeria.” He stood behind her on the swing and looked at you nervously as you nodded your head. “Just no trips to the moon.” You teased.

Javier laughed and nodded. “Yes ma’am.” He pushed Valeria on the swing, not too high but high enough to keep her satisfied as she told Javier all about being in Kindergarten, kicking her little legs happily.

Javier felt his chest swell as he listened to her, his heart pounding in his chest as he started to think about everything he’d done, everything he’d caused in Colombia. How one night, in the midst of that terrible shit he met you and had the best fucking night of his adult life, and it produced this sweet, tiny, innocent little girl that was just too perfect for this world.

And she loved him with every atom in her tiny body.

It made him sick.

Not because he didn’t want her to, or because he didn’t love her. But because he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to have someone love him so wholeheartedly like that, not with the things he’s done. “Javi?” He snapped his eyes over to you and blinked rapidly as you frowned. “Are you okay?”

Javier nodded rapidly. “I’m fine.” He smiled lightly. “I’m fine.” He repeated before looking down at Valeria, who was looking back at him with a tiny frown. The frown melted into a smile though and then she telling Javier he could stop the swing before jumping off the swing and bouncing on her heels.

“Jump rope! Jump rope! Jump rope!” She shouted before running to the box of outside toys to grab her longest jump rope. “Here, daddy! You hold one end. Mommy, you hold this one.” She gave you each one end.

Javier’s cheeks were red and he had a smile on his face as he watched her, looking at you for help on what the hell he was supposed to do here. “Just.. swing your arm back and forth.” You told him, laughing softly. “You’ll get the hang of it.” You teased.

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The day went pretty much like that, Valeria found all kinds of things to play with Javier, introducing him to all her favorite games and toys until she was almost completely tuckered out, thumb stuck in her mouth a telltale sign she was getting sleepy. You never discouraged this, it made her comfortable and it was the only time she did it and it would normally only last until she was asleep, which didn’t take long once the thumb was in place.

“Alright, it’s time for muñequitas around the world to go to bed.” You said softly, your chest squeezing at how she was glued to Javier’s side as you watched a movie, little eyes drooping, one of his arms around her while the other gripped tightly at the cushions. There was something wrong, that much you could tell, you just didn’t know what it was.

Thankfully, Valeria didn’t fight and in her sleepy state reached for you to take her to bed, letting out a big yawn. You laughed softly and gently pulled her from Javier’s side. She reached out last second, though and clung to his neck before pressing a sleepy kiss to his cheek. “Buenas noches, papá” she whispered sleepily before letting you tug her away.

Javier took a deep breath and smiled softly. “Buenas noches, Valeria.” He rubbed his hands on his pants and when you turned around he hesitantly got up and followed you.

You didn’t really hear him behind you, changing Valeria into her nightgown before tucking her into bed, pushing her hair back. “Did you have a good day, Muñequita?” You whispered. Valeria smiled sleepily and looked at you with that same love-filled look, none diminished like you were afraid.

“He’s just like I thought he’d be, mommy.” She whispered happily, her eyes absolutely shining. “He’s so nice and he smells good and he’s super strong! And really fast! I told you he was a superhero, mommy.”

You laughed softly and kissed her forehead as Javier felt his earth shatter and then come back together and then explode again. Hearing you say it was different from hearing her say it and it had him stumbling back to the couch, completely losing his nerve to finish watching your nightly routine. Maybe another night.

He lowered himself onto your couch and pressed his hands to his mouth as he stared at a picture of you after you gave birth to Valeria, completely alone with that tiny baby in your arms, nothing but a nurse next to you for moral support, it made him want to throw up. You were giving birth to his daughter and he was probably fucking a god damn hooker in his sleazy ass apartment. Or watching a fucking child get shot in the forehead, or-

Jesus fucking Christ is he crying right now?

He looked down at his hand and sure enough there was a god damn tear right there on his hand, mocking him. “Javi?” He looked quickly, your sweet voice bringing him back again, slowly pulling him back down to earth. “What’s wrong? Was it too much today? I’m so sorry I didn’t know she was going to-“ “no.” Javier shook his head and wiped his eyes quickly as he stood up, going over to you.

“No it’s not that. I love her. God I love her so fucking much. She’s amazing. She’s so- fucking happy. She’s so happy. And so- full of love- and that’s the problem.” You blinked rapidly and frowned deeply. “Excuse me?”

“I don’t deserve it.” Javier shook his head. “That’s what’s wrong. I don’t.. deserve to be loved by her like that. By someone so innocent.” “Javi- what are you talking about.” “I’m not a superhero- god I’m not even a fucking hero- or a side kick.” He scoffed and walked away from you, hands on his hips as he looked at the ceiling.

“.. Javi-“ “don’t give me that ‘no one feels like one’ bullshit.” Javier scoffed and looked back at you. You furrowed your brows and hesitated a little before making your way over to him and then guiding him down onto the couch. “… you need to talk to someone about it, Javi.” You said softly.

Javier scoffed. “Like a shrink?” You rolled your eyes. “Or a friend.” You closed your hands around his lightly and pulled them closer. “I’m here to listen. You don’t have to tell me everything, or go into detail if you don’t want to.” You rubbed his hand with your thumb.

Javier looked at your hands for a while, silent. After what felt like five minutes he looked at your eyes and took a deep breath. “A lot of… the bad shit that happened.. over there. I was.. around, in the area, when it happened. I saw a lot of it… head on. Explosions, shootings… the shit with Los Pepes. It was my fault” His fist tightened under yours.

“… I watched the news.” You nodded. ��I wouldn’t let her but I… wanted to try and keep track of you somehow.” You looked down and brought his hand up to press a kiss to his knuckles. “I’m sorry you had to see stuff like that.” You looked up at him.

“But… Javi whatever you did over there. Whatever happened… you thought you were doing the right thing. You had to catch Escobar.” Javier looked at you for a minute and shook his head as he looked away. “One of em was a fucking kid.” He mumbled, his jaw tightening.

“Teenager, almost a teenager…” you moved closer to him. “We rounded up his lookouts.. it was just a bunch of kids, all of em…” he took a deep breath. “Carrillo… I thought we just.. were gonna bring them in..” he shook his head. You blinked rapidly as you put the pieces together. “I just fucking stood there. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t do anything.” He swallowed thickly.

You shook your head slowly. “Oh Javi… oh god I’m so sorry.” You let go of his hand and hugged him tightly, wrapping one arm around his shoulders while your other hand settled on the back of his head, running your fingers through the hair as he pressed his face into your neck and wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, his shoulders shaking.

“I don’t deserve to have her in my life I’m just gonna fuck her up. I’ll fuck it all up. I fucked everything up in Colombia. They didn’t even fucking catch him until I was gone. I don’t wanna fuck her up.” You shook your head as he rambled. “Javi… you’re not going to fuck anything up.” You frowned and pulled back, cupping his cheeks.

“She loves you and that’s not gonna change and you’re not gonna fuck her up because she’s too stubborn to let anyone change who she is.” You told him sternly, rubbing your thumbs along his cheekbones. “You love her too, I know you do. You can’t be around her without loving her.” You laughed softly.

Javier chuckled and shook his head as he looked down, nodding this time. “Yeah I.. I do I just.. I don’t know how to be a dad.” You shrugged. “Were your parents always perfect at it?” You raised a brow. Javier furrowed his brows. “Life sucks. We know that. It’s up to us to make it suck less. We can either wallow in the shit that isn’t our fault-“ you poked his chest a couple times.

“… or we can make the best of the situation at hand.” You smiled softly and Javier felt his heart jump in his chest and before he could stop himself he was clashing his lips into yours.

You gasped and grabbed his shoulders but quickly eased into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulled him closer, letting your mouth fall open when he traced your lips with his tongue.

He tasted like you remembered, but less cigarette taste this time, the smokiness was still there but it was accompanied by a new minty sort of flavor.

The kiss didn’t go much further than this, one of his hands on your cheek while the other explored the expanse of your body, gripping lightly at your hips and breasts, moaning softly into eachother’s mouths.

Soon he had you laid back on the couch, his body lined along yours, draping over you and surrounding you in his wonderful scent and warm body. He made no movements to put his hands under your clothes, not wanting to push anything too far considering he hadn’t even thought this was going to happen. He’d planned to be a gentleman about the situation.

As it dawned on him he leaned back and panted softly. “Sorry.” He looked down at you, swallowing thickly as you shook your head quickly. “Don’t be sorry.” You shifted under him, your face and neck burning.

“I just- obviously I like you.” Javier chuckled and slowly moved off of you, taking your hand to sit you up. “I don’t wanna fuck it up, though and I was hoping… you would let me take you out?” He licked his lips.

“Just me and you- I mean I love Valeria but I… I wanna take you out, get to know you. I planned to in Colombia but… I never had any fucking time.” Javier took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “So… if I.. make us reservations.. would you wanna go to dinner with me?” He asked hopefully.

You looked at him quietly for a second before slowly starting to smile. “Javi… Javi I would love to go to dinner with you.” You reached out and grabbed his hand again, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “I’ll have to find a babysitter for Valeria. But I would love to.” Javier grinned and nodded. “Great.” He said softly.

As he looked at you he felt that bubbling in his stomach again, that urge to pull you in and wrap your bodies together for the rest of the night. “… I should probably go.” He said softly, squeezing your hand as you nodded. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

Javier smiled and stood up with you, walking out to his truck and turning to you as he opened the door. “I had a great day. Thanks for letting me meet her.” “Of course, Javi.” You laughed softly and shook your head. “Except- you can’t get rid of us now. You’re stuck.”

Javier laughed and nodded. “Good.” He teased, chewing on his lip before gently pulling you close to give you one last long kiss, sighing happily against your lips as his arms wrapped around your waist. You smiled against his lips and cupped your cheeks gently before pulling away, feeling your cheeks warm up as you laughed softly. “Okay go. Get away.” You teased, pushing him into his truck as you stepped back. “I’m gonna savor my peace and quiet. Maybe I won’t wake up with feet in my face tomorrow but I doubt it.”

Javier chuckled and nodded. “Alright, alright. Bye.” He got in his truck and started it, pulling out of the driveway as you waved, making your way inside. As you turned you made eye contact with Mrs. Sanders next door, a friendly old woman whose husband died not long before you moved in. Suffering an empty nest she was always eager to have you and Valeria over for dinner. When you looked at her she smirked at you and waved. You felt your cheeks warm up as you shook your head and went inside your house.

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

When you got up the next morning you decided you'd spend the day buying a new outfit and making yourself not look like a tired mother for your date with Javier. As you got Valeria and yourself ready you couldn't stop thinking about the kiss, how any kiss since that night with Javier had seemed lackluster and... boring, how no man could make you feel the way Javier had even when you'd just been talking. And then how everything you’d thought you weren’t going to feel again was flooding your system, swallowing your sound and smothering you. He'd consumed every waking thought since that night and it had drove you crazy until you got another taste.

Once you and Valeria were dressed, you made your way next door to Mrs. Sanders, you knew she'd have questions about what she saw and you knew as soon as she heard the full story, she'd be taking Valeria and rushing you off to get ready for your date.

When you got to her porch she yanked the door open before you were even full onto it, which made you laugh. "Waiting for me, were you?" "Of course not, I just have a keen sense for visitors." Mrs. Sanders teased as you set Valeria down to greet her. The two hugged and then Valeria was sprinting off when Mrs. Sanders told her she already had Elmo in her VCR, which you'd taught her how to use when you'd learned she bought one so Valeria could watch her cartoons at her house as well.

"Now that she's occupied..." she pulled you to the kitchen where she had tea and cookies waiting for you, a glance into the living room would tell you Valeria was enjoying her own milk and cookies. "Who on earth was that handsome cowboy you had at your house last night?" You laughed and shook your head. "How do you know he's a cowboy?" "The way he walks- and by golly the way he kissed you." She fanned herself with a napkin. "Reminded me of my Randy before he passed." You raised a brow. "How long before he passed." She smirked at you this time and shook her head. "Enough about me. Who was he? An old flame? A new flame? No, not new, not with the way you looked eachother, held eachother. Tell me." She grabbed your hand, not even letting you get a word in to tell her.

You felt your cheeks warm up as you shook your head, laughing shyly. "... that was Valeria's dad." She gasped loudly and grabbed your hands tighter. "What?!" She practically screeched. "Oh, dear, why is he here?" "Well- I don't.. really know. I guess he grew up here before the whole… Escobar thing." Mrs. Sanders knew you’d met him in Colombia, knew that he was a DEA agent, but you still hadn’t shared his name with her yet, you weren’t sure why, maybe you wanted to keep him to yourself for a bit. You could see the gears turning in her head, though, and then she gasped again. "Javier Peña? Is that who that was?"

You blinked rapidly, opening and closing your mouth. "... how do you know Javier?" "Oh, gosh, I grew up with his parents, dear, look at me! I'm an old lady. not very many people here I don't know something about. I forgot he's been in Colombia! Oh his poor father Chucho must be so happy to have him home again. Gosh I need to call Chucho its been weeks." "Mrs. Sanders-" "Didn't I tell you to call me Sandy?" Sandra Sanders, you'd laughed a little when she'd introduced herself, you were lucky enough that she had the same sense of humor about it.

".. Sandy." You laughed as she gave you a smile and a nod. "Um... part of the reason I came over here was... because Javi wants to take me out, he’s supposed to call me with the reservation and everything later but... I have nothing appropriate for date night, my nails look horrible, I need to get my hair done, and I can't do that and keep Valeria occupied so I just... I was hoping you could watch her for a few hours?"

Sandy smiled and nodded. "Of course i can, darling." Her smile got wide and it was obvious she was excited for you. "Oh I'm so happy for you, dear. From what I remember Javier is a wonderful boy, he was young when I saw him last but his parents did a god job raising him. You'll be good for eachother. It'll be good for you to get out of the house, too, have some adult fun." You felt your cheeks get hot rather than warm this time and started shaking your head as Sandy smirked and the two of you stood up.

"Sandy.." "Alright, go on, say goodbye to your amorcita and then go be a singulatory adult human for one afternoon." Sandy waved you to the living room and you shook your head as you went over to Valeria, kissing her cheek. "Have a good day, Muñequita, I'll see you in a few hours." "Bye, mommy, be safe." Valeria barely returned your kiss, eyes glued to the television.

You stood up and shook your head before looking at Sandy. "Try and take her outside a little bit? I hate when she tries to watch tv all day." "Of course, now go, go." Sandy ushered you out the door, laughing.

You said one last goodbye and watched the door close before going to your car and driving into town, deciding to stop and get your nails done first, after standing there for almost an hour you decided on round semi-long French tips, which got you some annoyed scoffs but you tried not to let it bother you too much as you sat down and watched the nail tech work.

After your nails you went to get a dress and new shoes, which wasn't too hard since your nails didn't have any colors you had to match, eventually going with a dress that was about mid-thigh, with a halter top neckline, and a color that make your eyes and skin practically shine, you decided on a pair of shoes in the exact same color, as you were paying you heard your phone start to go off in your purse. You smiled apologetically and pulled the little cord out, flipped it open, and put it to your ear. "Hello?"

"Querida." "Javi. Hi." You smiled widely, paying the cashier before taking your dress and shoes and leaving. "Hey. What are you up to? I don't hear Valeria." You laughed softly. "I stuck her with the neighbor so I could do some shopping without worrying about her slamming into any dangerous strangers." You teased as you walked out of the store.

"Are you saying I'm a dangerous stranger?" You could hear the grin growing on his face. "You're a dangerous half stranger." You teased as he laughed on the other end, then you heard some rustling, a curse, and wind. "What was that?" "Nothing. It's nothing." You heard him mumbling, though, and heard the name Steve before he was speaking to you again.

"So- I made the reservations- uh- I didn't know when was too soon but uh... I was thinking in a couple days? I'll have the day off so I won't have to rush off of work. Like... seven o'clock?" "Yeah that sounds great, Javi." "Great." You smiled. "Great." "... great." You laughed and chewed on your bottom lip lightly.

"So, uh.. what did you buy?" You looked down at the bags in your hand and laughed. "A new dress and a new pair of shoes." "Seriously? You didn't have to go out and get-" "Trust me, yes I did. I don't own clothes that are even remotely appropriate for a place where you have to make reservations, Javi." You snorted. "I liked what you wore yesterday."

"And I'm sure the host at whatever place you chose would feel the same." You shook your head a little. "Ah, whatever." Javier chuckled and you heard a few hushed angry whispers before he was sighing heavily. "I'm sorry, Querida. But I have to go commit a workplace homicide right now, so I'll see you later." You laughed and hummed. "Uh-huh. Go get 'em, killer." "Steve I swEAR TO G-" You heard right as Javier slammed his phone down and shok your head, laughing as you dialed your hair salon to make an appointment.

An actual date with Javi.

You had an actual date with Javier fucking Peña!

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Is this a series now?

#pedrohub #narcos #pedro pascal #javier peña x reader #javier peña #narcos fic #Javier Peña narcos #Javier Peña Pedro pascal #narcos fanfiction

[desiredcaramellatte]

Hey if it's possible can you write headcannons of how the dragons getting challenged and defeated by the reader with the powers and personality of luffy?

The one pieceeee

The one piece is rEALLL

I haven’t seen farther than episode 5 but uhh yeah. I’m scared to watch all of it tbh, there’s so much

A little short because they’re for all of the dragons and uhhh idk Luffy too well other than rubber and annoying

Dragons & reader

(With the powers + personality of Luffy (TOP))

Pitaya ~

They despise you :) they still wanna fight you though.

Will try and learn your weaknesses to fight you and mayhaps defeat you. The most likely to push you to the brink, with the pure amount of fire and heat they put into their fighting. Literally. They’re the dragon of fire.

The most persistent in fighting you. Genuinely does not care how many times they get defeated.

Lotus ~

Likely the dragon to try and convince you to join their side once you prove how powerful you are. After all, powerful allies are hard to come by in the dragon world.

They shy away from fighting you themself. They are a very patient dragon, and will be able to deal with you better than any of the other dragons possibly could.

Otherwise, they do their best to remain on your good, or neutral side. They don’t mind you too much, so long as you do not get in the way of their goals.

Ananas ~

The most but-hurt of all the dragons. Very pissy about their defeat.

They will stomp off to their mountain and sit there for an entire day simply pouting. They hate you. Their pride was tested and pushed and they are a very angy guy.

Every time you’re around them they tilt their head away from you and give you the silent treatment, no matter where you are or what you’re doing. They refuse to even look at you, nontheless talk to you.

Lychee ~

Lychee is not fighting you.

Simple as put, they know that fighting you is not the way of beating you. They’ve seen what happened to the other dragons, and this little trickster is not an idiot.

They are likely to try and manipualte you into fighting for them. Otherwise, they do their best to completely avoid you. Tbh, you two would probably get along whenever you do see each other.

Longan ~

PISSED.

They hate you. With their entire being. You’re too annoying to be that powerful- it’s stupid. They’re probably the only dragon that can somewhat keep up with you, and yet you still give them a run for their money and beat them.

If they could kill you, they would. No hesitation.

#cookie run #cookie run x reader #cookie run kingdom #cookie run kingdom x reader #crk #crk x reader #cookie run oven break #cookie run oven break x reader #crob #crob x reader #the dragons #longan #lychee #lotus #ananas #pitaya #platonic kinda #idk they mostly hate you #platonic hate #romatic hate question mark question mark #reader is Monkey D. Luffy from The One Piece #can you tell I haven’t seen a lot of it #my friend dragged me into it and I’ve been kicking and screaming #it is good so far tho

[sentientgopro]

Coming up on 3 months since cracking. It's still, like, a week away, but honestly, close enough and I wanna write this post now. Not much is gonna change in that time anyway.

The main thing I wanna note is like, the SIGNIFICANT mental changes. There is a name. I have never uttered that name out loud. Noone knows the name IRL. Noone has used that name for me online. Nothing.

...But If I, just quickly, imagine someone calling my name, or getting my attention, that's the name they're saying. If I quickly imagine someone referring to me in third person, I'm she.

And I think of these same things with my current name and it just doesn't quite feel right, or the same anymore.

People always talk about the infamous "I'm a girl" dreams. and I've started getting, like, 3 a week? Or atleast 3 where I'm, to some extent, trans. Like, even if I wasn't quite a girl yet, I had a dream that included picking up an estrogen prescription.

And all this, after 3 months, while deep closeted and unable to do anything about transitioning.

And, for my own sanity, I've had to find things to appreciate during this time. I can't spend the next year and a half avoiding acknowledging myself and what I look like. So I've atleast started to appreciate the little things. If I look closely at my eyes and ignore the rest of my face, I feel happy. idk, there's just something about my eyes in isolation that feel different to the rest of my face somehow, idk what it is but they feel more feminine, if that makes any sense.

And then there's my hair. Look, I have really short hair. Pretty average hair length for a guy. But my parents have been incredibly militant with keeping my hair very short for, well, as long as I can remember, until recently when my Dad abruptly asked if I wanted to grow it out (unbelievably convenient, he's transphobic and hss no idea about me. We take those I guess?)

But now, even the slightest bit longer hair feels great to me. Those little bits that grow down infront of your ears? Love it. Never had that be that long before. My hair ain't much, but its alot to me. And its only gonna get longer and longer, better and better.

And, look, this one sounds weird, but thighs. The way the fat squishes and flattens out when I sit down. I am a very skinny person, to the extent that my thighs are probably the fattest part of me relative to the body part. They aren't that thick, but relative to the rest of my body, it's enough to make me really happy. One time I was reading something about a lil deep-closet trick of wearing a long shirt and a shorter/ rolled up hoodie, and I kinda like it. Doing that, while sat down causing my thighs to squish slightly just looks so right.

(I was strongly debating whether to actually include this section. I doubt this would ever be the case, but just in case, don't be weird about it?)

I'm not gonna keep commenting on dysphoria increasing. I've kinda figured that's just par for the course. My general mood has decreased, I just don't feel good, but I'm not actually in that bad of a place mentally. I'm feeling optimistic, a solution to my problems is out there and I am gonna make it. It's already been a quarter of a year since cracking, that's no small amount of time relative to how long I have to wait. No matter how much I feel like shit about not being able to transition yet, it's better than when I didn't know what the problem was and thought I would just find myself ending it at some point. Now I know that isn't happening.

With each day, each little daydream, every time I imagine a scenario where I'm me, I get closer to actually being me. Physical is just a wait, but mental is a gradual process that is already well underway.

#personal logs #transfem #196 #transgender #lgbtq #lgbtqia

[hellfireclubmember]

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

a/n: this is a short one. i just gotta say i love eddie munson and i miss him terribly.

w/c: 1.3k

pairing(s): eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: eddie convinces reader to go to a party with him. when they get there he gets into some trouble. reader inserts herself and it doesn't go well.

warnings: mentions of drugs, fist fighting, blood, cursing

genre: idk if this would be considered angst but it ends with fluff

The music blasting through the speakers in Chrissy’s house were making the walls vibrate. You were weaving through the crowd that gathered in the living room. The house was absolutely packed with people, most of them being the worst kind of people. As nice as Chrissy’s house is, it was the last place you really wanted to be. Eddie Munson being the only reason you had agreed to step foot outside of your house.

During lunch, when you were sat with the rest of Hellfire, he began with the incessant begging. “Come on, (y/l/n). I swear it’ll be quick.” He pushed around the peas on his plate as he watched your every move, attempting to catch you waver.

“Why do you even wanna go, Eddie? Aren’t you the one that says, ‘parties are for weak minded people desperate for a shot of meaningless high school popularity’?” You quoted his words verbatim. He gives that spiel at least once a week, it’s no surprise it’s seared into your brain.

“You listen closely to the things I say, huh?” He leaned back in his chair, shit-eating grin on his cocky face.

“Shut up, idiot.” You rolled your eyes at him and continued to bite into your sandwich. He was right though; you did listen intently to the things he said. No matter how many times you call him names, roll your eyes at him, and tell yourself you didn’t like him as more than a friend, you absolutely did. And it was anger inducing.

Eddie had heard you talk to your friend about Middle earth at the start of the year and decided then and there that you would make a lovely new addition to Hellfire. He spent days pestering you, waiting by your car after school, waiting outside every single one of your classes, sitting with you during lunch. It drove you crazy. Honestly though, you were ashamed to say it but you loved having Eddie’s attention. And what you loved even more was spending time with him so you caved and begrudgingly joined Hellfire.

“I meant every word. But those desperate wannabes buy drugs and I’m happy to supply.” He kicked his feet up, his heavy boots dropping onto the table with a big thump.

You groaned. You knew Eddie and there was no way he was going to relent any time soon. In fact, he would probably follow you around school, skipping every one of his classes just to try to convince you.

“Fine, Munson. You have to keep your word, I mean it. Quick and speedy deliveries.”

“Scouts honor, sweetheart.”

 -

So, there you were, ducking under people to try and find the long-haired moron.

When you both walked in, he told you he would be right back, so you waited around the door. 10 minutes passed, then 20, and when 30 minutes hit you began to get antsy. The thought that maybe he was in some sort of trouble immediately pushed through any anger you could feel for him abandoning you.

You had searched the entire house for him and had no luck. So, you walked towards the doors to the backyard. You looked around the multitude of people either in the pool or sitting around it. Eyes finally landing on the beautiful boy you were looking for.

The relief you felt when you saw him was quickly replaced with pure, uncut panic. He was talking to Jason and two other meatheads from the basketball team. Well, talking isn’t really the appropriate word to describe the interaction, more like shouting and shoving.

They looked like they were seconds aways from throwing blows. Which is exactly what Eddie and Jason started doing.

You ran towards them, not really knowing what you were going to do, just knowing you had to do something.

“HEY! HEY!” You started yelling, shoving Jason’s idiot friends out of the way when they tried to stop you from getting any closer. “Stop!!”

Eddie’s fist connected with Jason’s jaw, the latter immediately lunging forward and they fell to the ground. You stood paralyzed above them. What the fuck are you supposed to do right now? You were scared. So scared. You saw blood and you had no idea who it was coming from but it pushed you out of your fear quickly.

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the worst. There was no way this was going to end well. You moved forward and tried to push Jason off of Eddie. He wouldn’t budge.

“Dude, get the fuck off!” One second you were trying to shove him off and then you were on the ground. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, drops of crimson red spattered on the back of your hand as you held yourself up. The taste of metal in your mouth was overwhelming. You raised your head and looked around. Eddie, Jason and a bunch of other people were crowded around you. For a second you could hear people talking but you couldn’t discern any specific words. You were disoriented beyond belief.

Eddie was close to tears. He could feel a massive lump in his throat as he looked down at you. You looked so small, and the more he looked at you the angrier he got. He so badly wanted to beat the crap out of Jason but he had bigger things to worry about.

When he saw your eyes start to water, he sprang into action. He grabbed your hand and helped you get up. Before the both of you left, he pushed Jason with enough force to make him fall to the ground with a thud.

He slowly walked you to the van. With you still on his arm, he opened the passenger side door and gently sat you down.

“(y/n), sweetheart, I need you to say something. Need to make sure you’re okay.” He started wiping away the blood on your busted lip with a napkin he found in his glove compartment.

You looked down and spit out even more blood. “I think my gums are bleeding.”

“Jesus, (y/n). Let me see.” He delicately grabbed your jaw and lifted your head up to look at him. You tried to show him your teeth but winced when you felt the cut on your lip rip a little more.

He ran hands over his face and groaned. “Why the fuck did you get involved? Are you stupid?” Eddie wasn’t really angry with you; he was angry at himself for being the reason you got hurt.

“Hey, fuck you, asshole. I was trying to help you.”

“I didn’t need your help!”

“You were getting hurt!”

“I get hurt all the time; it doesn’t matter!”

“It matters to me!”

The yelling stopped. He was just looking at you, lips slightly parted as he breathed heavily. You hadn’t noticed the tears streaming down your face until he reached up and wiped a fresh one off your cheek. The pain in your mouth now second to the overpowering feeling of embarrassment. You cringed away from his hand and looked off to the side.

“Why does it matter to you?” His voice was one very small step above a whisper. The tension in the air was tangible. There was no way the girl he had a crush on liked him back. He couldn’t even imagine that was actually the reasoning behind being dumb enough to get in the middle of a fight for him.

You sighed and looked back at him. “You know why.”

“I need to hear you say it, (y/l/n).” His hands were on your seat, on either side of your hips.

“I like you.” The words were heavy with the anxiety and excitement of a first confession. The pounding of your heart could probably be heard from inside Chrissy’s house. In that moment of vulnerability, seconds felt like hours.

“I like you too, pretty girl.” Eddie could not contain the big smile on his face. It dropped when his eyes landed back on your bloody lip. “But you can’t do things like this, I can’t be the reason you get hurt.” He reached up and put his hand at the side of your neck, rubbing your jaw with his thumb.

“Stop getting into fights then.”

His toothy smile returned. “For you, anything.”

taglist: @slashersluttt @slurmp69 @sadbitchfangirl @actual-mom-steve-harrington @stylesyourmine @pennyllanne

#eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie stranger things #stranger things fluff #stranger things s4 #stranger things fic

[joetamy]

I love Doma, so much- besides his character alone, imma post things I like about his design. Cause I can ùwú If you wanna see my simpus supremus post, read more under the cut! 🙌

Ahem... LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HIS HANDS ! ! He's huge! This is a me thing maybe but that's very✨pleasant✨ Other than that, the design for his hands are so elegant.. yet strong- he has long nails as the upper two, which- slayyy~

The blood-like pattern is visually appealing, honestly just such good design. If you want to make hands more interesting, have some kind of detail like this to draw your eyes to them. Gah... GAH 🔥

His range of expression! And just.... his face- For someone with no emotion, he sure has studied expressing whatever he wants accurately. Surprise, joy, sympathy, sadness, determination- you name it, he can fake it. And as is the point of his character to some extent, he has beautiful eyes. Both in shape and color. 🌈

His eyebrows are wonderful, it's not often creators make a character this attractive and then give them a set of nice and thick eyebrows. I feel it's so common to think of it as unattractive but.. honestly- I disagree. I have had thick eyebrows my entire life, and I am extremely grateful for that. Anyway, this next one is just.. demons in general from Demon Slayer. But! Their teeth, they are so large. Every demon with these kind of teeth just... they seem so- idk- comfy looking. It's odd, but very appealing! (I checked in with some friends and they agree! Demon chompers are very nice to look at!

HIS HAIR! For real, long long ago, when watching the hobbit and lord of the rings, something flipped in me in regard to what I find appealing on men. Long hair. There is a reason I love Tolkien's elves ahah. And it's just the same with Doma. 🥰 Regardless if it is beautiful, smooth and soft or jagged and wild- it does not matter. Men suit long hair so much more than they think, it makes me so happy whenever a character is given long hair. And I mean LONG, not that "barely touching the shoulders" bs. That's not long, that's medium.

It actually pains me when someone draws a man who has long hair- with short hair. Like.. slay, live your dreams. But come oooon- let the 10% of men with long hair in fiction keep it, plz- I beg. (not actually that serious, do what makes you happy <3) With some help from two of my friends, I'd like to point out his build and how he visually reads vs. his behaviors! While Doma is quite a big guy, with broad shoulders and a very tall frame. He acts and is drawn very innocently! (Note: Slim waist alert 🔥)

He is often drawn in a way that makes him seem quite harmless. He sits in a way that makes him seem smaller than he is (Especially during the upper moon meeting), he's often smiling, laughing and otherwise messing around. He also somewhat slumps his shoulders sometimes. All this really makes his behavior stand out, since it is such a contrast to how he makes himself appear. He talks down to people in such a casual way, he's creepy at times, intimidating- and that gets multiplied by 100 when he no longer acts all aloof and sweet.

On top of all this- he is very muscular, but he wears a baggy turtleneck and very loose pants. Which is anotherfor him to seem far less intimidating visually.

This has all been manga so far, but here's an honorable mention to the anime. This scene was so well done. He is smiling softly through the entire scene, but does not express as much as he does while being upper two. His voice range moves but not along with his expression, which make it feel as if something is off and I love it.

Sidenote, the voice actor they picked for him- chef kiss 💕 Some of this might be a reach, or personal conclusion of course. But when I have an interest, why not share it. Maybe some people will agree, maybe some won't. Either is fine! And feel free to tell me what you agree or disagree with, or just what you like about this guy. I am happy to hear 💖

#joetamy #tam speaks #the first thing before the cut is my art ^^ #demon slayer #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #doma #douma #long post #Ultimate Simp Post #maybe I'll make more in the future for other characters.. I love them all sm!

[leopardom]

i thought i wouldn't end up making one of those sappy posts before the end of 2023 but here we are i guess

what i wanna say in advance is a huge thank you, and that i'm sorry

this year has been a nightmare for me and i can't stress that word enough. i won't get into details, if you follow me you may have seen some occassional rant posts. long story short though, i'm ending 2023 being mentally exhausted af and even though i'm not in my most optimistic mood, i hope 2024 will not as shitty as 2023

as of my tumblr presence, there have been some changes. i jumped from one fandom to another without completely leaving the bc fandom. i'm just not that much in the mood anymore. maybe this will change once the new album is out? we'll see 👀 and jumping to another fandom means that i lost contact with so many people from the bc fandom. i promise you i didn't do this on purpose and i don't hate or stopped liking any of you. it just... things got weird and a bit too much in my head and now idk how to keep contact without looking extremely weird in this fandom

anyway! entering another fandom has been weird not only in means of interests but also in means of communication. ever since i remember my tumblr activity in any fandom, i always tried to interact as much as possible with other accounts and talk with people, whether that was via posts or messages. in the jo fandom i feel like i have kinda failed that

i'm aware that i post a lot and i'm probably everywhere with the content updates and the gifs. and that may be annoying to some people. and i understand it, i don't like it but i understand it and i wanna apologise for being... all over the place yet not really reaching out to anyone in the fandom or building any kind of online friendship

idk if there's an accurate explanation for the way i feel about this so i'll put it in the best words possible: i wanna make jokes and have fun in here and exchange random messages or mentions in posts and talk shit or not about jo etc, but i feel like my social anxiety (both online and offline) has passed any limit i had put to it until now that i end up thinking it's actually wrong to interact with anyone in this fandom. because everyone has already connected with some people and have built a specific line of interests and you all seem so fucking cool for someone who is as insecure and scared to talk as me so i end up hiding behind my gifs, shitposts and content updates in hopes that people will like me or at least aknowledge i exist in this fandom. and again, that's all on me, there's no one to blame for this behaviour but me and my fucked up mind (which got even more fucked up in the past year). so idk, i feel like i wanna apologise for this, for being like that

however, no matter the anxiety, i must admit that the jo tumblr fandom was actually my escape when things in real life got bad bad. i've spent hours scrolling through the jo and kaarija hashtags in hopes of seeing something unhinged and funny to lift my mood and you know what? i found something every single time. and that was more than nice. if it wasn't for all of you being as funny and crazy (in a positive way) as you are, i'd feel even worse. but every time i open the jo hashtag there's someone posting a wholesome thing or saying something unhinged like how many ways has Kris listed to kill Bojan in his sleep lmao

anyway i ended up writing a lot, this could easily be an entry to the journal that i don't keep but maybe should start keeping. if you read until this point, congratulations for going through all this ramble and i'm sorry

hope 2024 is gonna be a lot different than 2023 but in a good way this time. and i hope i get better and actually get to interact more with all of you great people 💕 and obviously i hope you all have a fantastic year ahead of you 💖

#this is emma speaking #i'm sorry but i'll throw this in the hashtag #feel free to ignore #joker out

[caffeinatedrogue]

Did that halsin drawing actually only take u 20 minutes???

Okok hang on cause I keep getting this & I need to make a thing clear & have some more serious conversation cause I have been thinking about it

( also I wasn't expecting that post to get more than idk 500 notes optimistically, instead it has breached containment and I had a wtf moment) yes it is accurate but IT WASN'T MEANT AS A FLEX

it's just me not thinking about the time&performance-obsessed present context that also bleeds onto ''content making'' (eugh) and, I think, an influx of my native language because in day-to-day talk context it would indicate it's something you do or have done sandwiched in between stuff and not a remark on how fast you were (at least for what I'm used to), so, while accurate, it's my bad because I always think 'virtually noone will read this, right' and then the whole hecking world does so short answer: yes, it took me some 20-30 minutes + some fixing the bg and filtering cause I figured I'd post it outside server chat, so I made it sort of presentable But long answer about ''making art'' process : sometimes I can draw a thing really fast but consider- I was warmed up and ''in it'' after several hours of drawing, had a reference, ahdh meds doing their thing and have been drawing consistently for a good chunk of my life, which means sometimes I can cook a passable thing for funsies at supersonic speed or get a lot of polished rendering done in a matter of hours. Sometimes eyes-brain-hands connection just carries you and you feel like you got the art-zoomies.

HOWEVER most of the time I spend a significant amount of time on my pieces cause in general it will take me a normal-to-long amount of time to do something, and sometimes I just will not fucking get it right cause it's just a bad day and every sketch is wrong or bad & have a breakdown. Or not draw at all.

Cause idk who you are anon but especially if someone's a beginner - fast doesn't mean good and as someone who is impulsive and tends to rush... I had and still have to fight said tendency to rush things cause I crave to see their completion rather than take the appropriate time. Or opposite, obsess over shit for hours and never be happy. Do not aim for speed in and of itself, aim to find a process you flow with and revel in - most of ''the speed'' comes from that sort of ease. @ whoever needs this: if you wanna train speed, try some hardcore sessions of gesture drawing - and I say ''train speed'' but it's actually training you to be more confident in your sketching gestures and in your lines so again - your process :)

#caffie chats #thank you I think this was something I needed to say so the opportunity was very welcome anon

[lady-lycany]

Since I had a little breakdown last morning, I wanna talk about it... It started cuz I was looking out of the window and watched people living their life... It gave me the realization and the strong feeling that I simply not belong here. I don't mean the planet itself, but the role I'm supposed to play... U know, back in school, there were the students, that were for example good at math but bad at sience, and then there were students that sucked at math but were very talented in sience... I would be neither of them. For real, no matter what job I think about, I don't feel qualified or comfortable... and I know that masters are not born. You have to learn something to get good at it... But in todays society, you have to either already have knowledge about something or they expect you to learn everything in like two weeks... I simply can't keep up with it. And to be honest, I don't even want to... I wish, I really wish, I would be one of the 'normal' npc people that don't question how the world works. They go to school, they learn a job, they work... It seems so normal to them... To me it's not... Really. Working your life away to have some free time when you're too old to do shit? Being incredibly tired from all the work, that you have to use every vacation just to sleep and stay at home? It's just so. so. so wrong to me. It's such a waste of life.

But at the same time, the way I'm living right now isn't better at all... You need to work, in order to get money, to even get the chance, to live and travel... So like this or that, I'm wasting my precious lifetime away and don't know what I'm supposed to do...

As Mark once said, "there's work, and there's passion, and some people have incredible passion for what they do, and you notice that". I don't have that kind of passion for anything job related. Even if I had the chance to become some sort of influencer for example, it still takes time of your life away... The recording, the editing, the planning... This is all stuff, that's nothing for me... Like for real, whatever job I'm thinking about, it doesn't feel right to me.

Really, the only spark of hope is my book, cuz I really hope, that it'll get sold well. But for this to happen, I have to write it, but I'm stuck in an endless spiral of procrastination and fear of failure. (I plan to force me next year to write everyday for at least five minutes. cuz five minutes is not much on a day but can be a lot in a year... Maybe I make a little progress like this... idk)

I'm stuck in every aspect of life and somehow I can't move on... "soon, soon" but when is soon?

I know how fast the time is running, how important it is, how you spend every minute of your life, cuz you only have this one... So you should use every minute to do something that means something to you and makes you happy. And it's driving me insane, that I can't live and enjoy it as I would love to... I would love to see as much of the world as I can, as long as I am here... The world is so big and we have such little time....

Long story short, I'm basically crying over the fact that I don't have a place in this world, but at the same time, I'm not even trying to find one...

Three months as a free wolf seem to be more worth, than three years as a human, I could run wherever my legs carry me to, and just have to think about gettin food and water, the rest is just living in the moment...

#werewolfkin #wolfkin #wolf therian #otherkin #therian #lycanthrope #caninekin #alterhuman

[alpinefrsh]

Hi! Baby writer here! I want to pick your brain because I like your writing!

How do you start writing? I’ve had book ideas for years, but I can’t seem to actually start writing anything. I wanna write and I wanna do this but my brain gets a little stuck at the idea part. Any tips, I guess?

How do you keep writing? My motivation is phenomenally low.

What helps you personally in the process of writing?

Do you have a beta reader for your fics?

How long have you been writing for? Can you see noticeable improvement as you keep writing?

How do you make sure the character you’re writing about has accurate characterization, do you have any tips?

Lots of love! :D

Hello there! This might be a little lengthy.

Well, usually I just have to get very strict with myself when I want to write something (no youtube, no reading fics, no gaming, etc). Easier said than done, and I actually tend to be more productive when I’m away from home, writing primarily from my phone. I suppose when there’s quite literally nothing I can do but write, it makes the decision much easier.

Also, if you’re getting stuck on a scene, don’t be afraid to rewrite and rework things. Just take whatever’s tripping you up and chuck it into a separate document. I’ve actually rewritten the first few thousand words of my next fic multiple times at this point. Finally found an angle I’m happy with not too long ago.

As for how to keep writing, it really is just a matter of dragging yourself one word at a time sometimes. I’ve got a bit of writer’s block myself at the minute, but I know that as long as I keep writing at least a little bit every day, I’ll eventually get my mojo back again. Or I’ll take a break to write something small and silly to reset my brain. That also helps sometimes. Finding a good playlist that fits the mood of the scene helps sometimes, there’s also this one playlist of videos that I’ll occasionally use. I find them helpful, but you’ve gotta be prepared to dedicate a couple of hours to doing nothing but write (with short intermittent breaks throughout). Here, just pick whichever one strikes your fancy.

No, don't really have a beta. My older sister reads my fics after I post them, so she’ll let me know if she spots any spelling errors, but for the most part it’s just me re-reading my fics in the week or so after posting to find and fix any spelling mistakes or poor wording.

My first fic on Ao3 was about 3 years ago, but I’ve been writing for more like… Idk, six years? Probably longer? Not really sure, I only started to really get into writing when I found sbi, because- I mean, have you seen that family dynamic? It’s literally so based, and not to mention versatile. You can put them anywhere and it never really feels out of place.

I’ve definitely noticed improvement in my writing. My older stuff is- well, I certainly wouldn’t want to re-read any of it. Even just the fics from the earlier stages of my crossover series (specifically fics 2 and 3) are pretty rough by my current standards. Though, thinking about it now, that might be partially because my wordcount standard has risen by a fair bit, 3-5k isn’t enough words anymore, lol.

Ah, characterization, my absolute beloved. The easiest way to nail a characterization- in my experience, that is- is to figure out how they speak. The kind of words they use most often, phrases and things. I’ve mentioned this briefly in a previous post, but I actually have a characterization notebook. It’s literally just a book filled with things people have said. I’ve got a bunch of stuff in there, certain words or phrases people use frequently, likes, dislikes- all that stuff. Though I’m very careful not to write anything speculative down, if it’s not explicitly stated to the public, it doesn’t touch the page. And on the rare occasion when I write down something from a secondhand source, I make sure to specify in no uncertain terms that the information is according to someone else, and therefore should be afforded very little merit.

To be honest, I don’t actually flip through it all that often unless I’m stressed, but the act of writing things down on paper makes things much easier to remember, in my experience.

Another thing that helps me with characterizations are voices. If you can get a character’s voice to stick in your head, that usually helps me a great deal. It’s always nice whenever a character has a more distinct voice, like Donnie, he’s pretty great for that. So’s Tommy, for that matter- but that could also just be because I’ve been watching him for a long time, lmao.

Whenever I’m really struggling to nail down a characterization, I’ll go watch clips and/or videos of whoever’s giving me trouble until I feel like I’ve got their voice back.

Original characters are a bit different, as you can’t exactly just look up clips to make sure you’re staying consistent- and I’m definitely not the person to go to for OCs- but on the occasion where I do need to make up characters, I try to make up a voice for them in my head. Give them specific accents or cadences to use whenever I write their dialogue so they hopefully don’t come across as too flat, haha

Anyway, I hope this was at all helpful, good luck with writing!! :D

#alpine's talking

[bonesandthebees]

hi, i really love your writing (world forgetting and stats are two of my all-time favorite fics!!) and i was wondering if you had any advice for new(er) writers?

how did/do you improve your writing? how do you write such great character dynamics? do you have any general tips?

sorry to bother you and you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to!

oh yes I always love giving advice!! if you ever want writing advice just in general you can check the carrd linked in my pinned post and I have some writing advice posted on there, but I'll also give some here

this is gonna be long bc idk how to keep things short so i'm putting it under a read more

I've said this to a lot of people before but the #1 way you improve your writing GUARANTEED is... *drumroll*

you write!

I know it sounds obvious but I think it really needs to be reiterated over and over again. if you want to improve your writing, you have to write. a lot. practice is always going to be the best way to improve your skills no matter what. even if you're not consciously trying to improve your skills as you write, you will just improve naturally the more you do it. I've been writing since I learned how to read, but I got serious about honing my writing as a skill when I was around 13 years old (I'm 22 now for reference). around that time I decided that I wanted writing to be my thing, my form of art, and I wanted to be as good as I could be at it. so I just made it a goal to try and write nearly every single day. it didn't matter what I was writing—whether or not it ever saw the light of day was irrelevant. I just wrote stuff I wanted to read. sometimes I'd only write 100 words in a day, sometimes I'd write thousands of words in a day. I just kept doing it. I got into fanfic writing when i was 15, and that was a great way for me to actually be able to post my work and get validation on it. that made it a lot easier to keep practicing, but even then I didn't post most of what I wrote. I wrote for myself first and foremost. even if it was just a half scene from an au that only lived in my head, if i wanted to put it down on paper I did. because I knew that even if I was the only person that ever saw it, just the act of putting it into words was going to improve my skills.

I know perfectionism is a huge thing a lot of writers struggle with. I know this is easier said than done, but you have to let yourself be bad. write whatever the fuck you want even if no one will ever see it. you don't have to think too hard on it. even if you think it's shit writing that you're barely trying on, guess what, it'll improve your skills! the act of putting scenes and ideas into words on paper helps ingrain things like rhythm and sentence structure and word choice into your brain so it slowly becomes more muscle memory than something you have to think really hard about. like I literally can't emphasize enough how any writing at all no matter how 'shitty' it is will improve your skills. one time we did a quick write in a creative writing class over the course of 15 minutes and then had volunteers read their segments out loud. I read mine, and my professor commented on how shockingly good my prose was for something I wrote in 15 minutes. that's because I've had so much practice that my rushed, sloppy, first attempt prose is still pretty damn good, since the base skills are just so ingrained in my head at this point.

so yeah, if you wanna improve, just write. anything and everything. write for yourself. write with no goal in mind. just put words onto paper and IT WILL HELP.

now as for character dynamics, I always have a few key things in mind about a character when I'm writing them. in my head I just keep track of a few 'core' traits they have, and make sure to incorporate those in the aus I write. like for example, when I write c!wilbur there are two major things about him that I always keep in mind: his need to be seen as more competent than he is, and the fact that he places a lot of his self worth on what others think of him. those are two of his most defining factors in my opinion, so they act as my guide when I write him, and that in turn bleeds into his dialogue and actions which affects his dynamics with others.

of course you also have to do research for character dynamics. if I'm struggling to capture someone's voice, I'll look up clips on youtube or twitch of them to be reminded of how they talk and act and things like that. also I read a lot of meta analysis on characters which helps a lot. shoutout to dsmpblr for so much meta it helps me sm

anyway I hope that helps! sorry this was so long, but I always love giving writing advice <3

#ask #anon #writing advice #bones writes

[karamell-sweetz]

hey i would love to hear you rant about the balance in utmv and why it sucks

kris you are my sole enabler. thank you.

short version: the balance doesn't make sense and is overused.

long version: below. might wanna strap in, i don't know how long it is...

⚠️ the following statements are all /lh and are not intended to offend anyone. to anyone currently writing/making something involving the balance, please keep going, i'm sure it'll be great! i'm just getting tired of seeing it over and over again (so i decided to start the revolution /j). ⚠️

❗️also, slight tw: slight mentions of sewer slide, slight mentions of body horror❗️

first of all, the whole fgod error thing is okay. it's a cute concept – actually, maybe all of the "error's broken and bleeding bones" and "error flung himself into the void to escape it all" is more disturbing than cute, but you get what i mean – and i will respect this. i'm pretty sure that 'healing what has been broken' was the pioneer for destructivedeath and errormare — and this i can acknowledge! i just want to let people know that i am getting tired of seeing the same thing over and over again... which is why i'm writing a rant.

my first gripe with the balance: it exists. the whole shtick with the balance is that it's a limitation of sorts, a rule of thumb for ink and error to follow when they're doing their little multiversal god things. now tell me: if the multiverse/doodle sphere is a representation of the creative activity of the entire fandom...... why does it have a maximum capacity anyway? technically, new things are being created every single second of every single day, so if they were to come into existence at the same time then i think error would be rendered immobile at this point, according to the lore of the fgod au.

it'd be like: "*clenches soul area* aw crap. ink's making another useless au again *drops onto the floor* aw crap and another one *writhes* why the heck are there so many aughhhhhhh"

this leads to my second gripe: in a lot of these kinds of fics it's shown that ink is the creator of all the universes.

now that's fine and dandy, but canonically ink doesn't create shit.

he's the multiversal protector, meaning that he just makes sure they don't die. it's not like he himself made the characters within them suffer (in fact i'm pretty sure he doesn't really care for the people anyway, so the existence of the council is just. clever but strange), that's our fault because we made the au, not him! so really if we want to make error suffer less then we're going to have to leave the fandom for absolute dead or sth,,,,, which at this point is sort of impossible. (personally, i have been stuck here for around five years now and i always come back no matter how hard i try to leave.)

oh and i know that he can make living things like gaster blasters and stuff, but he's still the multiversal protector so that shouldn't mean that he can make whole aus on the spot. and i also know that this is an au in itself, but this is sort of a really important detail i think? i hope nobody's sleeping on this.

a third, sort of minor gripe: the concept of sides is also really strangely handled. ink's little council thing is fun tbh but everyone's such a shallow bitch and it's frustrating (which is sort of the point ig but it's worse when that's how they're portrayed in EVERY. SINGLE. BALANCE. FIC.) and i know that there are insiders like blue and idk fresh ig...... but this isn't a spy mission? just communicate with the other side? nightmare's gang is the only redeemable thing about this au because their dynamics are so cute (and i'm a murder time trio + cross fan so i just think it's neat), but even they're kinda shallow sometimes. and also (thank you for this one kris) i thought that positivity and negativity were meant to coexist? there's absolutely NO reason, NONE, why the council couldn't just. get the other team into the meeting and talk it out with them?! it's so easy to solve your problems?? just use your tiny pea brains a little??? my frickingh god???? like literally all of this could have been solved if y'all just TALKED for once oml.

and now for my fourth, final, and largest gripe of all: IT'S SO OVERUSED. i'm not even talking about the balance itself, the plotlines for this au are all copypastes too! for example, error having to sit down with ink and tell him about the balance? ink getting upset about his ignorance? heard it at least five times, honey. what next, are they going to go and save the multiverse from your oc character who just so happens to be messing with everything? and maybe you'll become friends...... oR sOmEtHinG mOrE?

(great bricks, if i see the phrase 'friends..... or something more????.??.????' one more time i am going to rip myself apart.)

i will acknowledge that there are some original things out there, but most of the premises are still the same. and in most of these ink and the council are absolute jerks for no reason at all. please. please please please i'm so tired. if i see one more thing about error jumping into the void istg i will jump with him. (sorry i ran out of steam here but you get what i mean right? the balance is everywhere!)

anyway tldr: screw the balance. it doesn't make sense and it's been milked to hell and back.

thanks for your interest in my (maybe unpopular?) opinion. you are free to disagree (or join me in the revolution!)

ps: im sorry this is a long-ish post. i had a shorter version that i put on my wattpad but it didn't sound very persuasive so i wrote this chunky thing.

pps: i might have gotten some things wrong (i've been stuck in rhythm game hell for about six months now) so feel free to correct me about things! (*´-`)

#utmv #karamell yells #screw the balance #undertale au #can't believe my first two posts about my favourite fandom are part of my screw the balance agenda #man..... #if only i had more things to talk about

[1d1195]

I knew immediately that once I saw it wasn’t going to be an “easy” read that it would not be your vibe lol ITS NOT BAD THOUGH! like I it’s nice to turn your brain off! And tbh i bought it bc it was recommended by an actresses/writer I like 😔 was it an impulsive buy? YES but honestly i needed to feel something bahah and I trust your opinions too bestie!! And I will FOR SURE give my review if I think you’ll like it!

NOT ME WANTING TO CRY WITH YOU SAYING YOUVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT ME😭 Sam, literally you don’t even know how nice that is 😭 and yeah I did see you mention that! And a new series that’s college based, SIGN ME UP!! I can’t wait to live through the MC bahah I love romanticizing school even if it makes me wanna jump off a bridge sometimes bahaha but OF COURSE I’ll like it!!!

I’m so sorry you’ve had a rough week, that sounds like HELL! And I don’t blame you for calling them psychopaths! They are WILD and I know I was once a 14 yr old and I was kinda crazy! But I never took it out on my teachers lol you can tell me when you’re ready and I will gladly read your rant!

Definitely relate to readers block! I get it ya know bc in an odd way you do get attached to the plot and characters so they have to mean something! I remember the first time I had to take a “break” from reading because I was just too DEVASTATED over the ending of a book it literally was when I was 14 lol

I REALLY DID LOVE THE NEW EXTRA! I didn’t mind it was so far into the future! It was so good I meant it when I said I was hurting from how cute they all were lol and awww Sam my heart is literally so warm with how sweet you are! I seriously couldn’t hold in how much I loved reading your stuff so in my head asking for an emoji was a big deal bc idk fear of rejection?! Dumb I know but I needed you to know how much your work IS appreciated! So yeah I do honestly have to thank Protection for that!

And don’t say sorry, I LOVE reading your responses! Idc how long they are! And you know I’ll get back you no matter what!-💜

I’m a big fan of treating yourself. (I have never denied myself of a treat.) I hope it lives up to its expectation!

Exactly how I feel with readers block! The same thing happens when I’m writing too. If was SO hard to move away from Love and Dryer Sheets and onto Dolcezza. It happens every time!

You are the best and so so sweet! I’m keeping this response short in case you have time to read my update today and have to send another! 😉

Love you!

Xoxo

#💜

[capybaraonabicycle]

Hello~ I found this ask game through your reblog and thought it seemed super fun 💚 I am also curious ✨ 16. Is there a subject/character/show you wish you had created more for? Why do you think you didn’t? OR 23. Are there any tips you would give yourself from one year ago concerning your art/work?

Thank you so much for the ask!! Sorry that it's been taking me ages to answer!

16. Is there a subject/character/show you wish you had created more for? Why do you think you didn’t?

Oh, yes!! I wish I had created something for @itlivesproject's beautiful visual novel It Lives Within, specifically something to honour the amazing Amalia de Léon. I made half a sketch of her and my MC being a badass martial arts/magic/gunpower couple but I never finished it. I have no idea why, really. I've played the game about - Idk - 10-15 times from start to finish since it's come out? So, I really need to do something about that eventually.

Here's the sketch in case you wanna see:

[ID: simple crayon lineart sketch of Amalia and my MC in power poses. The MC is in the back, holding a gun in her left hand and raising her right as a fist. (There is supposed to be magic around the right hand, but the sketch barely shows that.) Lia is in the front, holding a bo staff with both hands. They are smiling at each other. end ID]

Well, okay, I kinda have an idea why I didn't make any It Lives Within art: As per usual, I have spent most my time and energy on Doctor Who. And, like, I am happy with that. Especially since I did branch out a little bit last year and covered a few more fandoms in writing, mostly.

Speaking of dw, I kinda wish I had created more for lovely Bill Potts - she got one short one-shot this year, that's so much less than what she deserves!

(Admittedly, I haven't written much for Bill in recent years either. The year before she only appeared in 2 fics but one was rather long and quite centered on her at least. And last year I have been thinking a lot more than usual about her, so I wish I had turned some of that into works. I didn't even finish the drawing of her that I made.)

Mainly, I wish I had started on the Doctor Who x Hadestown crossover fic featuring Bill as the main character. Both because Hadestown keeps occupying my brain and because Bill as the main character in a long fic would have been amazing.

Why didn't I? Well, mostly because of the 'long' part. I don't really write long fics and I tried my hand at two of them already last year. Both of which aren't finished yet. So, yeah, fear of starting something I can't own up to again. But also, the time never felt right? It was fun to think about and turn especially Persephone!12 in my head for hours, but I never felt like I had something I could put on the page NOW. But like, it will exist someday, I'll keep believing in it (and thinking about it while listening to the Hadestown album).

23. Are there any tips you would give yourself from one year ago concerning your art/work?

Sure!

General tip: When things get rough and you feel like you don't have energy for anything anymore - ESPECIALLY THEN force yourself to sit down at least 10 minutes every other day to do art or write. You will feel so much better and be amazed how often 10 minutes turn into 30. It doesn't matter if you only produce nonsense, just do it for yourself.

Writing: Whenever you can, find a friend to write for. Someone who gets excited for your work! That is incredibly motivating and rewarding :)

Art: Like every year: your art teacher was right - mix and match techniques! It IS more fun and it DOES look better, usually. Also spend more time playing with colours. They bring joy :)

#thank you so much for the ask! #I hope you got plenty of asks too <3 #it might be a little late now but if you would like me to send you an ask as well lmk I'll gladly do that :) #Ah whoops I saw now that I did both questions instead of just one #i hope you don't mind

[appreciatingtokrev]

that's true, i just keep reminding myself that nothing last forever but i am a bit sad about the ending. do you normally go to an art museum? ah, i suppose life is full of surprises, you never know what is around the corner. that's great, it's better to see things as the cup half full than empty.

i think gi will still be the company's most successful game. do you just stick to PC games then? isn't hsr the only one whose have a voice for the MC? i'm always phone based so i'm lost with the letters lol. wait, you can play it in class? 👀

don't worry, quite a few people retake a year no matter what country they are in so you're not the only one and i understand retaking a year more than once can be a bit demotivating but you can get through this.

just try not to beat yourself up about it, you are trying your best. yes, extra time to re-evaluate some options, would you like to goes into the STEMs? or another field?

i can imagine lmao, some kpop fans are too extreme though where they end up becoming saesangs. which kpop group did she introduce you to? i am an ex-kpop fan so i no longer know about the current groups.

those earrings would stand out wherever you would go especially since they are gold coloured lol. i have actually seen some shorts on YouTube of users styling their wigs and it's look like a profession because of how hard it look 💀 i'm wondering you might find a 15th february person? who know lmao but birthday twin would be most exciting. our time zone difference seem to be one hour apart so we should be able to wish each other on our days? i'll probably come off anon when it happen 🙂

you can take another shirt that fit you properly and ask them to use the shirt for guidance or get proper measurements. i just scrolled up the sleeves for mine lol. it is only the sleeves and nothing too complex so i can't imagine it will be expensive.

yeah, of course. i feel the same whenever any of my friendships or relationships or whatever end bc at the end there was still a lot of love and care involved. i love going to art museums <3 i generally love art and museums lol. i visit a bunch of museums every year, usually with my father, my godmother or said friend i mentioned. so yeah ig i usually visit them?

agreed lol, i mean hi3rd was already big before genshin but genshin topped it off still. omg my phone literally only has 16gb of storage so i can’t play any games on there ajdkffjskaj meaning i very much stick to my laptop. hi3rd doesn’t have a mc the way gi/hsr do and kiana does have a voice plus gi’s mc is occasionally voiced (only during cutscenes i think?). the mc in hsr is definitley voiced a lot more tho. i mean... i shouldn’t be playing any video games in class..... but always work on our devices anyways....... and i’d much rather play hi3rd than do french in class... ajdkfjdjsk (i’m not a good example of a student ajdkgkksj)

aa ty :) i’m doing great in school rn bc it’s all topics i’ve had before at a different school haha and i hope it’ll stay like this for a while, but let’s see. i’m also in the process of getting meds for my adhd so hopefully i’ll be able to study easier sometime in the future. honestly idk what i wanna do later rn... psychology or biology, specifically marine biology maybe? i’d love to be a marine biologist, but i get sea sick :/ though at the moment i’m mostly leaning towards studying medicine so i can work in forensic medicine. but luckily i still have at least a year to decide.

yeah, the kpop fans... she mostly introduced me to stray kids. i’m not like a big kpop fan, but i do have a playlist with kpop songs i like bc of her lol.

aren’t they silver colored tho? i made mine in silver at least ajdkfkks. but yeah, agreed. yeah, wig styling does look difficult tbh 💀 but. i believe in myself. if i believe enough it’s got to work...

maybe, who knows. ohh no more anon z next february 16th :0 hehe, i’ll gladly wait until then :3

ahh i have no long-sleeved shirts that correctly fit me ajfjfjhsk the only ones i’ve got left are from when my parents made me buy them bc i dislike them and prefer oversized hoodies and stuff by a lot lol. thanks for the tip though

#☆—`ask #anon: z