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queenlucythevaliant · 1 year

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Once, Always

(Edmund has an abundance of birthdays)

“I say,” murmured Edmund sleepily as the fire burned low. “When do you suppose it is here? I mean—what time of year? Do you think it’s the beginning of September, the same as it was in England?”

“Summer,” said Lucy. “Certainly summer.”

Peter agreed. “I think it must be Highgrass, if I had to guess. Perhaps later. Greenroof?”

“If it’s Greenroof, then Edmund gets another birthday,” Lucy sighed. “Eleven or twelve, Ed?”

“Neither,” put in Susan. “A thousand, if you’re going to rationalize it that way. Now everyone hush, please, and get some sleep.”

Edmund’s birthday was the fifteenth day of Greenroof by the Narnian reckoning. Greenroof, late summer, when all the leaves were dark and broad. Narnian summers were long, but Greenroof was the last and best of the summer months. Greenroof was hunts through the dense foliage, blackberries heavy with juice, lazy afternoons, bonfires, wild romps, and the pleasant kind of sweat. Edmund’s birthday celebrations were always held on Dancing Lawn in the old days: the sort of long, laughter-bright nights that summer was made for.

The second time Edmund celebrated his eleventh birthday, it was just past three months since he and his siblings had returned home from the country. Their house was glass-strewn and battered, but still standing when they arrived home. By August it was beginning to feel really safe again, but sometimes Edmund still woke in the night to find his mother standing silent in the doorway, drinking in the sight of her two sons returned to her.

The professor sent one of Ivy’s famous spice cakes for Edmund’s birthday. It arrived tied in red string, which made Lucy reminisce fondly about dear Mr. Tumnus. Edmund’s siblings pooled their allowances to buy him the new Nero Wolfe detective novel, and his mother gave him a new cap and an electric torch.

“How do you feel?” his mother asked over dinner.

“I don’t feel any older, if that’s what you mean,” he said. “Eleven feels just the same as ten did yesterday.”

All four of them missed their birthdays the first year in Narnia. Too much else was going on at the time, and none of them was quite sure when their birthdays were supposed to be besides. The measurement of time was a thoroughly tangled issue.

The Narnian year had four hundred days even, divided into fourteen months of inconsistent lengths. Furthermore, the kingdom had only known winter for the last hundred years. The Narnians themselves were still remembering how the calendar worked in a world where the seasons changed. They didn’t have the words yet to explain it to their sovereigns.

“Eustace,” said Edmund, “your journal is wrong.”

“Give me that,” Eustace scowled at once. “I know it’s wrong, but there’s no need to rub my face in it. Aren’t I trying to make up for how I was?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. The month is wrong. You’ve got September written here, but time works differently in Narnia than it does in the Other Place. Haven’t you noticed that it’s summer, not autumn?”

“Oh.” Eustace shrugged. “I followed Occam’s Razor and assumed that the climate here was different rather than time itself.”

“Occam’s what?” This was Lucy.

“Occam’s Razor: the simplest solution to a problem is the most likely—never mind. Well, go on, what month is it?”

“Highgrass,” said Lucy.

“July,” said Edmund at the same moment. “More or less.”

They worked it all out one afternoon as the second spring of their reign was ending. Peter and Susan wrote out the English calendar on one stack of parchment while Edmund and Lucy sat down with the Narnian calendar and penciled in seasonal markers as best they could manage.

“The first crocuses came up right at the end of Cleardome, yes?”

“Yes, I think so. And the snowdrops were in their full glory that month too.”

“How do you want to deal with leap year?”

“Just forget about it. Narnia doesn’t have anything similar, so I think twenty-eight days for February is fine for our purposes.”

“Magnolia in Laceveil, yes?”

“Laceveil is a good marker in general. We ought to set that as May and go from there.”

Birthdays were guesses, no matter how much counting they did. Yet as memories of England receded and Narnia’s world blossomed into everything they knew, those guesses solidified into fact. Edmund turned eleven for the first time on the fifteenth day of Greenroof. He was the first of his siblings to celebrate a proper birthday in Narnia.

The fourth time Edmund turned twelve, he received another electric torch to replace the one he’d lost. He laughed for half a minute, holding that gift in his hand.

“Really, you should have expected it,” said Susan primly.

"I did."

Their mother tsked and added something about keeping track of one’s belongings, but that was alright. His siblings understood.

Edmund flicked on the light and watched the beam land on the far wall across the living room. Bright at the edges and dark towards the center where the bulb was. He moved his wrist sideways and watched the spot of light follow.

Edmund might have forgotten about his birthday aboard the Dawn Treader if Lucy hadn’t remembered. She conspired with the cook to have a spread of Edmund’s favorite foods at supper (such as could be managed at sea) and coerced Rynelf into playing jigs on his fiddle afterwards. While they were dancing, Caspian called for a cask of his best wine, and soon the ship’s whole company was making merry like only Narnians could.

“Didn’t you have a twelfth birthday the last time you were in Narnia?” Caspian asked curiously as the party was dying down.

“Yes,” Edmund replied, “and the time before that too. Confused yet?”

“Ed has all the luck,” Lucy pouted playfully. “We always seem to return to Narnia in the summer, so he gets all the extra birthdays.”

Caspian's face lit up. “How extraordinary! When’s yours then?”

“Cleardome. There’s a year and a half between Ed and me, and he never lets me forget it.”

“It’s really not as exciting as all that,” Edmund added. “We’re not living our lives backwards, or unstuck in time, or any such nonsense. It’s more like—our lives are folded in on themselves, you see? But never the same way twice.”

“I think it’s more like music than anything else,” Lucy said, a kind of fond wistfulness in her voice.

“Yes,” said Edmund. “I know what you mean.”

On the thirteenth of Greenroof, the Telmarines laid down their arms and surrendered to Old Narnia. The next day, messengers were sent forth across the land with news of the surrender and with terms for the Telmarines. Caspian’s coronation followed, and then Edmund woke and it was his birthday again.

Breakfast that morning was long and languid, for Peter and Susan knew that they must say farewell to Narnia, even if the younger ones did not. They lingered round the table with Caspian and Trumpkin and the rest, and presently Peter offered a toast.

“To my brother King Edmund, who is eleven and twelve and sixty-three and thirteen hundred years old today.”

Everyone raised their cups and repeated, “King Edmund.” Caspian nodded and added, “Long live the king,” with an almost ironic tilt to his head.

Naturally, Edmund nodded back. “And to you, King Caspian. Long may you reign.”

Another round of assent followed, and then Lucy cleared her throat. “But also,” she said, “To late summer and the rebirth of Our Narnia. And to the land, the sea, the hills, the trees, the sky, Cair Paravel-by-the-sea and Dancing Lawn and all the flowers that are still in bloom. And to the color green. To all of us here today, and to those who are gone. And to Aslan.”

“Here, here.”

There were tears in Susan’s eyes now. “Happy birthday,” she whispered, and squeezed Edmund’s hand tight. Edmund looked down at his plate, fiercely overcome with love for this place and these people. In a strict, chronological sense, it had been less than a month since his last birthday, but how did the saying go? Time was just a tangled string, or falling snow, or whatever else Aslan told it to be.

“Bother,” said Edmund, “I’ve left my new torch in Narnia.”

Everyone chuckled at this, but Susan said, “Wait a year. We’ll get you a new one for your next birthday.”

#Edmund has a late August birthday #which means that Lucy's must be early in the year if 'really there was only a year between them' holds #AND we still choose to go with the birth years from Jack's timeline #and idk i just really love the idea of the Pevensies repeating their birthdays and just kinda reflecting on it #not in an angsty 'adults in kids bodies' way (ugh)#but just in a sort of 'huh. what a neat opportunity to think about #who i am and who i've been and who i'm becoming' kind of way #that pulls out the growing up themes from the series and examines them #idk i hope that's what i've done here #this is a veeeeerrrrry loose re-write of a really old middle school piece about Lucy having multiple eleventh birthdays #it just makes more sense if it's Edmund given the setup with Prince Caspian #anyway #narnia #the traitor who mended #leah stories #pontifications and creations #working on crossposting to ao3 (hopefully w/i the hour)

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zuzu-draws · 6 months

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["....And there is a certain Hunger within him, that is difficult to satiate.."]

#ryomen sukuna #sukuna #true form sukuna #og sukuna #heian era #jjk sukuna #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #fan art #my art #painting #jjk art #I honestly dunno what exactly i've done here but i've done it #kinda got a lil inspired by amazing jjk artists that render detailed paintings and decided i should try and slowly improve my coloring too #throw him a piece of meat and he'll be satiated for the moment don't take the caption too seriously lol #He's such a big foodie he's just like me fr frr #anywhos i hope you like my rendering! :D Because im idk bout it heh

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inkskinned · 2 years

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it is hard to explain without sounding vain or stupid - but the more attractive others find you, the more you're allowed to do. the easier your life is.

i have been on both sides of this. i am queer and cuban. i grew up poor. for a long time i didn't know "how" to dress - and i still don't. i make my sister pick out any important outfits. i have adhd in spades: i was never "cool and quiet", i was the weird kid who didn't understand how "normal" people behave. i was bullied so hard that the "social outcasts" wouldn't even talk to me.

i got my teeth straightened. i cut my hair and learned how to style it. i got into makeup. it didn't matter, at first, if i actually liked what i was doing - it mattered how people responded to it. like a magic trick; the right dress and winged eyeliner and suddenly i was no longer too weird for all of it. i could wear the ugly pokemon shirt and it was just "ironic" or a "cute interest."

when i am seen as pretty, people listen. they laugh at my jokes. they allow me to be weird and a little spacey. i can trust that if i need something, people will generally help me. privilege suddenly rushes in: pretty does buy things. pretty people get treated more gently.

i am the same ugly little girl, is the thing. still odd. still not-quite-fitting-in. still scrambling. still angry and afraid and full of bad things. of course it became my obsession. of course i stopped eating. i had seen, in real time, the exact way it could change my life - simply always be perfect, and things can be easy. people will "overlook" all the other things. i used to have panic attacks at the idea others would see me without makeup - what would they think? even for a simple friend hangout, i'd spend a few hours getting ready. after all, it seemed so obvious to me: these people liked me because i was pretty.

i worry about how much i'm being a bad activist: i understand that "pretty" is determined by white, het, cis, able-bodied hegemonies. if i was really an ally, wouldn't i rally against all of this? recently there's been a "clean girl" trend which copies latinx aesthetics: dark slicked-back hair, hoop earrings. i almost never wear my hair like that; i can hear the middle school guidance counsellor advising me that i might fare better if i toned it down on the culture.

the problem is that i can take pretty on and off. that i have seen how different my life is on a day where i try and a day where i don't. i told my therapist i want to believe the difference is confidence, but it's not. and when you have seen it, you can't unsee it. it lives inside your brain. it rots there; taunting. i get rewarded for following the rules. i am punished for breaking them. end of story.

pretty people can get what they want. pretty people can feel confident without others asking where they got their nerve from. pretty people can be weird and different. pretty people get to have emotions; it's different when they get aggressive, it's pretty when they cry with frustration.

of course people care about this. of course it has crawled into you. of course you want to be seen as attractive. it's not vanity: it's self-preservation.

#pretty in this post is a stand in for . literally all forms of normativity #warm up #tbd maybe idk #ps! hi!! i'm queer!!!!!!!!! it is how i identify! if you tag this 'q slur' i will fight you!!!#i am using it here in the EXACT way it is NOT a slur !! i am identifying as a queer person!#this is EXACTLY how people reclaim it !!!#it's like practically ACADEMIC in this usage!!#please do any reading into what the fuck the history of the word ''queer'' is before telling me #as someone identifying as queer #that i'm a slur. that the place i find comfort in is a slur #''well it makes me uncomfortable if people use it for me''#im sorry to hear that dude. that sucks. i hope things get easier for you soon #but you don't get to take it from ME #in case you can't tell by the REST of this piece #i DID hear queer used as slur against me. i DID get bullied with it. i DID hear a lot of shit said #i also heard it about lesbians #about ''being gay''#about pretty much any fucking term that could describe me.#i like queer. i like how it feels. and it's mine.#you don't get to undo the work i've done personally because it makes u uncomfortable #it's ahistoric to pretend like there are ''safe'' ways to identitfy if ur queer.#none exist. it has never been safe to be like this.

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raiiny-bay · 4 months

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my favorite edits - 2023 edition 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

#ts4 #simblr #once again i don't know how to tag this so...#i'm just gonna use the same tags i used last year ig #2023 was apparently the year of the monster boyz #only 3 of these are not mb posts & i'm ok with that actually #ik i've said it a million times already but #i had soooo much fun doing mb stuff this year!#i'm really excited about all the stuff i have planned for the AU tbh #like. i have a list #i'm hoping................... to get the origin stories done at some point.#probably gonna do some writing here soon ish.#i've gotta make all of the side characters still & finish the character page so idk. i'll figure it out. i have a lot of ideas #i really wanna start sharing more about the story & the boys' actual personalities so that's probably what i'll focus on this next year #edit-wise i mean. like doing lore edits & stuff. idk #making cricket's was really fun so i think i'll like making stuff for everyone else too #i just have to not try to do a whole story bc then i'll lose interest. it'll be like the degenerates all over again lmao #idk why i just hate making story posts #lore posts are fine but story posts? mm no. not for me. idk how but they are different in my brain ok #n e way #i rambled. sorry. bye lol

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icewindandboringhorror · 19 days

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Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...

#Not that I think that many people would really care since I barely know anyone on tumblr in real life and would never live with random #internet strangers lol but... idk.. I made this to give to friends from time to time and thought... why not post it here too #just out of sheer curiosity if anyone takes it what the most common results would be and etc.#My initial assumption is that most people would probably fall into the 'maybe' category and that either extreme of 'best roomates'#and 'worst roomates' would be the least common #very long also since I like to be thorough I guess #THOUGH... upon second thought... tumblr is home of the like Weird Introverts Who Sit Inside All The Time.. so maybe it's more #likely to come across compatible poeple on here. given that many of the questions are about how meticulous #people are with their scehdules or how often they invite friends over or if they like to mostly stay inside etc.#(since personally I think having a roommate coming and going and bringing random people over all the time would be too chaotic #lol... I need a peaceful quiet household)#Also I kind of don't like the way uquiz seems to do results. I was hoping it would be a number tally? I used some sort of quiz making site #before where you weight the question responses with a number (so the 'Best' response is worth a 0 #The worst is worth like 5 points. and all the in between are like 1 - 4 points or something). So then it is actually possible to have a #''perfect score'' category (someone who gets a literal 0 points). and also you could weight some EXTREMELY bad answers #to add like +10 to the score instead of just +5. And someone who got the MAX possible points would be the WORST compatibility. etc.#But uquiz seems to just be like ''which category did you score towards the MOST'. So someone can give some pretty bad answers #that are VERY non compatible. but as long as MOST of their answers landed in a 'compatible' category #then they would still be listed as compatible despite still actually having some dealbreakers in there. Which is also possible with the #'every answer is a number amount' ranking system too. but I feel like that one does allow for a little more customization #and accuracy (like making the dealbreakers add like...+40 to the score or something so that #there's basically NO way that someone could answer with one of those and still get a good score. Or the ability to have a literal #'perfect score' (getting a zero) etc.#BUt anyway lol... inchresting.. inchresting... curious to consider maybe making a uquiz #for the characters in the gameI'm making like.. which npc are you type quiz or something #now that I've made one and seen how it works.. hrmm hrmm....#(< game will not even be done for like another year but still thinking about nonsense like this lol)

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tricksterlatte · 4 months

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The Online Fandom 7 Deadly Sins

sloth: complaining about how no one writes the tropes or pairings you like and bashing what's already out there, while refusing to create anything you desire yourself

greed: zine and other finance-related scandals with zero remorse for those negatively affected

gluttony: spending rent money on merch, experiencing buyer's remorse, then repeating the same process next month

wrath: anon hate over literally everything under the sun, even harassing official writers and threatening them if they don't make your ship canon

pride: devaluing other's characterizations and ships to praise yours as better, whether through a canon perspective or a moral perspective, when neither matter in the long run when it comes to your own enjoyment

envy: trash talking others' fandom creations or saying you won't bother creating anything because it'll never be as good as them

lust: fighting over who tops or bottoms because of your personal preferences when one, both, or neither could happen, especially when most of these characters never even kiss canonically nor have most people fighting done any of these things irl themselves

#parker says things #i'm not exempt I've definitely done a few of the things listed #especially pride and envy god those really go hand in hand and it's sad #but seriously...guys does any of this matter in the long run #just have fun #if someone is having fun in a way that clashes with your own type of enjoyment just hit da bricks!#that guy's got horns! well not gonna ruin my day!#live like Yusuke guys #i've been afk because I'm dealing with some intense depression but fandom has actively hurt more than helped me #and I know plenty of ppl myself included think discussion of meta is enjoyable but I think things reach a point where it's only stewing #the inherent focus on adhering to a singular strict perspective is toxic to ourselves in the long run #have fun! be self indulgent #almost everything posted is gonna be ooc to some people even if it's 100 percent accurate to others #and just in general idk I think we should focus on fandom as a sense of fun instead of a marketing ploy #most of us are not here to make fanart or writing a career #I'm not really a community person and I've learned that the hard way over a decade and more #but i just hope people will find what sparks joy and enjoy themselves again #I don't think I'll be active in fandoms much anymore as I focus more on my personal life and recover from some things #but I wish everyone much love and hope for the best for people #even if we've had some bad interactions I do not wish ill upon anyone #i got off topic but these tags are just me saying I'll stick to lurking publicly and replying to my DMs and writing in private #will still post some things to my AO3!! maybe #anyways tag yourself I'm a recovering glutton/envy

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piplupod · 2 months

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one of the cashiers at the grocery store i go to is so fucking fixated on shoplifters and it drives me crazy any time i check out through him (i try to avoid him but his checkout is often the most open/empty - hm! i wonder why! - and im often on a tight schedule w the bus). he brings up shoplifters every opportunity he gets and he seems so convinced that theyre a huge problem.

BUT WHAT REALLY GETS ME ,,, is that today the customer in front of me was needing a price check on one of the items bc it should've come out to be cheaper, so he was kind of apologetic abt it and saying "ah well, yknow, six dollars is six dollars, especially with how expensive groceries are right now" and i was nodding and agreeing (trying to show that i dont mind the wait and also solidarity my guy good for u for speaking up and getting the price fixed on that) AND THE CASHIER AGREES. FULLY ACKNOWLEDGES AND BEMOANS THE FACT THAT GROCERIES ARE CRAZY RN. AND THEN GOES ON TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SHOPLIFTERS. HUH ??????

so you agree that groceries are unreasonably expensive... and that sometimes ppl can't afford them... and yet ....................

#HE MAKES ME SO FUCKING ANGRY CMONNNN THINK ABOUT IT DUDE....#i knew him in highschool (small town things lol) and im pretty sure he was one of those kids who thought cops were really cool. so. yknow.#not surprised. just annoyed fdjkl #i would say smth like ''oh does ur paycheque get docked if shoplifters come thru or smth?'' but i dont want to piss him off #i would like to remain civil with the cashiers here bc its the only grocery store i can get to most of the time fdsjkl #but like. i would love to find out why he hates shoplifters so much #when i worked at DQ in highschool and ppl stole dilly bars or FULL CAKES... i did not give a single shit #even though the managers and boss would get kind of angry at us (but they knew we couldnt do anything abt it really lmao)#and then we had to put locks on the customer-facing freezers which was a hassle for us #AND STILL. I NEVER FELT ANGRY AT THE SHOPLIFTERS. BECAUSE WHATEVER DUDE LIFE IS EXPENSIVE GO GET THAT ICE CREAM!!!#also i was not paid enough to care LMFAO and i know for a fact that this cashier isn't paid enough either bc my brother used to work there #I DUNNO DUDE. HONESTLY I HAVE MAD RESPECT FOR SHOPLIFTERS #i've potentially done it a few times and its fucking terrifying esp w the amount of cameras installed now fdsjkl #i dont do it now even though i need to more than ever bc i was making myself sick every time i possibly did it #i'd get home and sit in the bathroom for an hour trying to make sure i wasnt about to throw up from the stress fdsjkl #also it was stupid to do honestly (but . needed. so yknow.) bc again. i dont have any other options for accessible grocery stores really #ANYWAYS. fuck that cashier i hope he realizes what a little narc he's being and gains some class consciousness or smth idk #all for one and one for all etc etc etc we're all in this together my guy #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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onlyblackcoffeez · 4 months

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yeah so next time i'm at ois's i'll definitly see if he'd let me try another of his meds just to see whether it's a fluke or not lol

#like he doesn't take them daily as he's meant to so he always has a surplus #Usually he just uses them until they run out and then fills the perscription - its not something he does every month on the month yknow?#and yeah he has been v open to my trying it out since i told him about my suspicions #well.. after the first time i told him & it was a lil bit of a shitshow but that was bad reactions on both our parts & we're over it now lo #he even said that like yeah #given that a common tester is seeing how you react to the meds #whether you go 'zoom zoom get a million things done in 20 minutes' or 'hey i can do these tasks with less pushback now'#and yeah i'm certainly not zooming #like hell i'm still on the conclusion i've been writing for the past couple hours #but its just easier to get it done #idk i'm rambling sorry lmao #a n y w a y i took it like 2 hours ago and it's a normal-speed release as far aas i'm aware so i'll probs just work on this for a lil while #like what i'm currently working on was due wednesday gone at 3pm (so like 49 hours ago here) and apparantly you lose 10% every day late #but i've had this lecturer for two other modules previous years and she never docks marks for lateness and i did a great presentation #for the module so here's hoping <3 #well that was certainly a tangent lmao #me talking into the little hellsite (affectionate)

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starswallowingsea · 1 year

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8, 22, 49 eichi and tsumugi!

i got the nine of cups, five of swords, and the nine of swords (fucking AGAIN) so uhm. angst i guess.

disclaimer i havent read most ! era stories with them i kinda just wrote what came to mind from what I do know but if anything doesnt match with canon. yeah.

word count: 546

It was so easy for Tsumugi to get caught up in Eichi’s plans. Eichi was addicting, like a drug slowly sapping the life from Tsumugi, but he made him feel oh so good.

Tsumugi wasn’t sure what exactly brought them together. They couldn’t have been more opposite. Eichi was charismatic and born into a rich family and Tsumugi hid in the background and grew up attending tupperware parties for his mother. Eichi was beautiful beyond words and Tsumugi was painfully average.

Eichi should have been out of his reach and yet…Tsumugi found himself sitting besides Eichi in the hospital, discussing plans for their restructuring of Yumenosaki, song lyrics and melodies, and their futures.

Eichi was desperately in love with Wataru and Tsumugi knew this. He could never compete for that attention, but he hoped that maybe just for a moment he might be able to take Eichi’s full attention. Just once was all he asked for.

Days turned to weeks turned to months and Tsumugi stuck with Eichi through it all, pulling all-nighters at the hospital and at the school to make sure things ran as smoothly as they could. Keito had asked if he was okay, though Keito and his seven cans of red bull didn’t have much room to talk.

It seemed that every step Tsumugi tried to take forward, to just hold Eichi’s hand in his own and feel his warmth, Eichi took two steps away, towards a different future.

So when the day came and fine as they knew it had been disbanded, Tsumugi couldn’t say he was entirely shocked. It had been a long time coming. As soon as the five eccentrics had their social executions on the stage then fine would be no more. There would be no use for the unit to exist in the way it had.

Eichi said some platitudes which Tsumugi accepted with a smile on his face, just letting the words move in one ear and out the other.

And then Eichi grabbed his hand.

Oh god, Eichi grabbed his hand and was he squeezing it? Why would he--

“Are you okay, Tsumugi?” he sounded concerned.

How should he answer? He can’t be honest, can he? Yeah, I’m just trying not to freak out because I’ve been longing for you to notice me like this just once let me be the only thing you think about. I’m not okay actually. I’m so hopelessly in love with you I don’t know what to do with myself.

You’re like a drug and I can’t bear to stop taking my daily dose of you.

“I’m fine, Eichi-kun. Don’t worry about it.”

He smiled and Eichi squeezed his hand one more time before dropping it.

“I’m glad, my little bluebird.”

Tsumugi fought to keep the warmth from his cheeks at the modification of his nickname.

“Y-yeah…”

He didn’t want to go. He desperately wanted to stay, to take one last deep breath of Eichi before they parted ways.

Sure, he’d still see the other boy at school on his good days, and there was nothing in particular stopping him from seeing him in the hospital on his bad days, but it wouldn’t be the same.

“Well, I’ll be seeing you around I suppose. Take care, Tsumugi.”

“Take care, Eichi-kun.”

#message in a bottle #ensemblestars #shay writes #enstars #ensemble stars #tsumugi aoba #eichi tenshouin #one sided eimugi #i am going to explain my choices a bit for this one #so i had the 9 of cups be eichi and the energy i feel like tsumugi would perceive him as having #very warm and inviting and intoxicating #the five of swords is that sense of betrayal and feeling unsure if everything is right #and the nine of swords was tsumugi's worries and ultimate inability to act on his feelings at all #anyway uhm. maybe not what you were expecting but the stupid nine of swords is haunting me tonight ig #came up in two different decks three times #i have another wip for oat for hiiteto but im struggling w that one #might do another redraw for it tmrw but i've already done two #i might just need to read some of tetora's wiki page or smth to get more of a feel for his character #okay im done rambling in here hope this was enjoyable and i got their dynamics right #idk much about mugi so im entirely guessing on his characterization but idk i also dont struggle with that most of the time so #i think im fine? maybe? you tell me.

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e1dritchqueer · 5 months

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#its hard not to feel like every relationship i care about wont fall apart bc of what i've been going through and what it's done to me #girl who craves care and help but feels like a monster asking for it when it from people i hold close/care more than i talk openly about #christ i just want to be out of here but I'm scared everything is gonna burn down and collapse and i'll be trapped under the rubble #idk. i kinda just hope the people I love know how much I care about them and how much I love them

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troublewithvampires · 8 months

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//been having So many thoughts lately about victor being a lil incel about salvatore and how that might change up their dynamic. tag ramble related.

#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#//LIKE ok. i'm definitely not saying that victor only like. abused and dehumanized sal b/c he was attracted to him #//i think he would've done that regardless. this just adds a new layer of context.#//also incel might not be the right term here but i hope it gets the vibes across #//but just like. yeah the idea of victor being very attracted to sal #//at the time in sal's life where he's like. peak internalized homophobia #//and mixing up with the genuine resentment victor feels towards sal as well for being such an asshole to him #//and representing like. the ideal of what victor could be vs what he really is #//all the while seeing him for WHO he really is #//sexual interest..... admiration and friendship.... deep-seated resentment #//just a whole mess of complicated feelings #//victor's like. i want to be salvatore. i want to fuck salvatore. i want to kill salvatore.#//actually i've been thinking on this for a while lmao i just haven't talked about it much #//just something about the fact that the easiest solution to victor's problem would've been to kill sal #//(his problem being that he perceived sal as turning against him)#//like... incredibly easy solution. victor killed a lot of people. he could've even done it himself #//but instead he chose to punish sal in a very specific way that keeps sal under his control #//allowing him to torture sal more but also allowing himself unlimited and exclusive access to sal #//just. idk victor's really interesting to me #//he's always had the potential to appear as a guest muse but. hmmmm. thinking.#ask to tag

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belovedspector · 7 months

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#i feel like venting and not a lot of people follow me here so i figured this is the best place to do it #i'm just so tired all the damn time #depression has been kicking my ass #and i've been trying for so long to get a handle on it #and nothing seems to work #going to possibly be starting a new med in a few weeks but idk #i just want to feel normal but i feel like i'll never get to that point #and then there's the fact that i don't really have any friends #the only person i do stuff with is my mom which is kinda sad #but idk how to meet people #ugh i'm just so done with everything #like work has also sucked recently #i had to leave after like half an hour on wednesday and took the rest of the week off #and my boss has been super understanding which is great but again i just want to feel normal and be able to do my work #i feel like such a failure in every aspect of my life #i'm 25 and what have i accomplished?#i know everyone goes at their own pace but god i feel like i'll never catch up #okay i think i'm done now #i doubt anyone read this but if you did uhhhh thank you and i hope you're doing well xo #jace talks #delete later?

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epicswagdivorceguy1 · 2 years

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little 3d whomper i made :3 he says hello!!!

#god please i know this is gonna flop but this was so hard to figure out how to share it with people #and i know it's a small animation but i'm really proud of it guys #it gives off 90s/early 2000s video game tutorial character vibes and i like it #anyways i don't think i've ever mentioned this here before but i dabble a bit in 3d art lol #this is the first thing i've done in like over a year though #i'm NOT good at it lol but i swear i'm trying T_T #whomper #3d art #3d animation #ghost #yeah idk what to tag this as #epics art #gif #anim8or #please god i just hope this gets at least a couple notes this is my pride and joy #I KNOW IT WON'T BC I'M A SMALL BLOG AND THIS ISN'T FANART but let me BELIEVE #ocs

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spottedenchants · 2 years

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I've always thought your style of writing is really different from what I think of as "standard" fanfic prose (in a really cool way, to be clear)- so I guess my question is how would you describe your writing style and what do you like about it?

Thank you very much! ^w^

In terms of cadence and syntax and such, I've been told that it's poetic a fair amount of times, so I'll just nod along with that because fun word combos make my brain go brrr and I've gathered that's some of what poetry is about :D

In terms of overarching structure though, I consider my style largely modeled after the CR transcripts, but the dialogue's then fluffed between with narration and blank space to describe things like facial expressions, tone, character thoughts/emotions, and pauses of time dilation that the transcripts don't always capture!

So I guess 'transcript-esque narrative poetry' is the closest approximation of how I would describe it xD

Sticking the rest under the cut since stuff got long :3

I really like that by adding lots of space, I can put to the page how the duration of events in my fics feels to me, and I hope that sort of a feeling is conveyed when reading, though I've heard big spacing might be annoying to read since it's ''''nothing'''' xD but what's the use of me (me, Chanse, in my writing specifically) writing/posting in an online medium (AO3) if I don't take advantage of the medium's scrolling capabilities and use them for my own storytelling purposes? A rest is as just much of a part of a song as a played note is! :3

I also like the fun transcript -> fic conversions I've built up, and some small- and large-scale examples:

small-

I generally don't use dialogue tags like ["I don't know what to say here," they mumble, shuffling from foot to foot.] because that reads so much more like prose, rather than transcript dialogue, and my punctuation in general originally stemmed from the transcripts.

Like when someone is cut off, they get a double hyphen:

MATT "I'm afraid you're sneezing mid-sentence. "I'm not catching the final--" TRAVIS: (loudly) The Balleater. - C2 Ep 97

but formatted a little more prose-y like so:

“Verin--” “No, don’t argue with me about it. My mind is set.” - So Brother, Walk with Me

large-

In the transcripts, scene description of brand new locations tends to come in big ol' word picture chunks before giving way to a bulk of RP or battle action, so we get stuff like Matt's description of Mythburrow in Ep 74 that I try matching with things like the intro to Like a Diamond to the Rough (albeit a little more spaced out so it's easier to read).

Matt often describes settings like characters too (with purpose beyond being a backdrop), and with a variety of senses when applicable, so that's also something I like and try to keep in mind as well :3

Thank you for the question! ^w^

got a question? send me an ask!

#or maybe ts is a verse novel?? but i don't write verses... idk i'm surfing though wikipedia right now trying to piece this together xD #and also i'm discarding conscious meters idk where those go #it's been a whileee since i've had any sort of formal classes #or done any in-depth structural analysis of fiction so idr what's considered 'standard' in any regard and am probably #just reinventing the wheel in my bumbling #but also i have not been reading lots of standardly formatted prose fiction as of late to compare anyway #and i'm not trying to do anything revolutionary other than keep myself occupied for as long as i can #ignorance thus far has indeed been bliss xD #also i guess today really was an ask word day- what a meander #here's hoping tomorrow is for fics >:3 #talesofsymphoniac #chanswers

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