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sasukimimochi · 9 months

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me and my friends @yuzanrath and @mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess were casually brainrotting today and we came up with a pretty funny prompt (who knows if I may eventually write it but I do really enjoy it and I don't write enough funny things) For some context, this prompt started as a joke where JC single-handedly invents non-sexual dual cultivation cuz he's so chronically single, but this is a separated idea more focused on wwx haha (no warning cuz no real pregnancies are had, just shenanigans)

TLDR will be at the bottom.

Let's say this is like, 2 years post-canon or more. So the 'juniors' probably aren't all juniors at this point but i'm still gonna call them that.

-wwx gets cursed with some sort of bloating while on a night hunt with the juniors but it doesn't start showing until the next day. wwx teases/jokes with the juniors about various forms of innocent touches/staring and points out he and lwj were holding hands the day previous before he left on his trip and kissed him goodbye and so everyone starts to believe he really IS pregnant from such a little thing. (the juniors are ofc horrified at the prospect of such easily acquired pregnancy AND FOR A MALE, and lsz is secretly excited about the prospect of getting a sib)

-Wen Ning (as part of the night hunting party who is still around rn) is kinda doubtful, but he also ends up believing bc the juniors getting excited (mainly lsz) is infectious. And, wwx really does have abdominal swelling; so, as is the theme here, he ends up believing too despite his doubts.

-lxc is informed via a junior and wwx shows that he is in fact not stuffing his shirt and lxc is stumped, can't defute, so decides it's best to go along with it for now just in case, as to not stress out the potentially pregnant brother-in-law.

-lxc and the juniors are babying him a little bit but wwx finds it funny and enjoyable so keeps it up for now since the curse is something he can easily fix and doesn't really hurt.

-LWJ comes home and at first thinks "wei ying what have u done now" but then sees the swelling is actually attached to his body and falls for it too, cue the doting husband who becomes his shadow. No more spicy food while he's 'expecting', no sex cuz he's too rough, no liquor bc bad for the baby.

-wwx handles this for a couple days, the super healthy food, lack of everything he likes, and a subtle pain in his gut from the swelling getting worse too quickly (skin isn't meant to stretch that fast) before he can't do it anymore and confesses that it was him teasing the kids and kept the joke going too long. (He cures the curse in front of him perhaps and lwj is just devastated but in his lwj way. That or LWJ cures it with something simple like cleansing idk)

-They tell lxc & lqr and lxc looks disappointed bc he likes children but mainly bc lwj is sad too (and of course lqr is celebrating oh thank god it was fake)

-they tell lsz & Wen Ning and that's the final straw, the sad subtle puppy-eye looking disappointment makes wwx drag the three on a journey out of the cloud recesses; They find a little bebe orphan to take in, perhaps they have a goofy journey of offering parenthood to orphaned kids who don't trust/don't want it before they find a local single mother died giving birth or something and they end up having a real connection with the baby, including lsz who gets insta attached, and so its decided one way or another that this is their baby.

-They go back to cloud recesses and the juniors are all like "WHERE DID YOU GO WHILE YOU WERE PREGNANT AND THEN LXC SAID YOU WEREN'T AN- OH" baby reveal. and thus wwx grins and the baby joke continues, says that he just had the baby etc etc and lxc was mistaken they just wanted a private birth or smth blah blah blah

-lsz immediately goes along with it because he is extra happy he has a little brother/sister now and he's feeling mischievous too, and says they need to take the baby to the nursery etc etc and wwx needs to rest (he is a bit tired tho after running around and getting rid of that curse n stuff)

-JC comes storming bc of the rumors bc even in gusu they can't shut their traps and sees baby, deflates but still has grumpy face like wtf happened (probably Jin Ling's fault that he finds out)

-wwx would probably joke a bit then tell him the truth immediately instead of trying to make him believe it too to avoid confrontation but asks for him to keep it secret for the joke, and Jc is like "..." cuz its an opportunity for the two to joke around together again even if he's grumpy™️ about it and so he doesn't dote on wwx but he does play along with the joke in his own way for a bit until maybe jc says something crazy and/or outrageous that couldn't be true to jin ling and he goes to wwx in a panic and so the jig is up but he tells all the juniors with 100% honesty that they did just adopt a baby and that part wasn't a joke but he didn't give birth himself and he was OK and then its just cute baby and junior interactions

bonus that came up later:

-lwj gets drunk and ends up going out again with wwx tailing close behind. they come home with another child, and thus when lwj is sober again he's suddenly a father of two young children. Cue cute timid wide-eyed bunny mode lwj while wwx comforts him (but laughing and teasing him like haha you made me pregnant again what a scandal! one look and I instantly gave birth! lwj you're so insatiable) and lsz not-so-secretly celebrates their suddenly growing family.

-JC is extremely pouty in his JC way about all these nephews he only gets to know about after they're already adopted.

-lxc is feeling quite a bit better getting to baby the babies and help his brother with raising children again, and thankfully with wwx also by lwj's side.

It was too wild a ride not to share 😌💖✨

TLDR; wwx tricks the juniors, the jades, lqr and even jc temporarily into believing he's pregnant as a way to beat the boredom while lwj is out of cloud recesses (and continues until he can't stand the doting/guilt because he succeeds in his joking too well.) wwx and lwj end up actually adopting bc wwx can't stand the disappointed faces.

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