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dallas-owns-my-ass · 4 years

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Bad For My Rep.

Paring: Dallas Winston x Singer! Reader

Summary: Reader gets forced to sing in a choir as a form of community service.

Warnings: idk cursing, smoking, vandalizing, prison?

Tag List: @staygoldponebone @botanicaldarling @rosecoloureddudez @shepards-love

If you wanted to be added just let me know :)

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I shook the spray paint can again and held down the button, watching the black line grow in the direction that I moved my hand. I loved everything about spray paint. The sound it makes when you spray or shake it. The variety of colors. The whole style of street art in general. It was something we had to ourselves, us kids in the street. I finished it off, taking a step back and just looking at it. West Side motherfuckaaa. I thought to myself as I chuckled.

“How you gonna like laughing about that in prison?”

I whipped my head around to see a cop. A very unamused cop. Fuck. I scanned my surroundings, debating running or not. His car blocked one of the exits and his partner’s in the other. My chances were slim to nonexistent, so being logical for once, I decided to hold my ground. Better to go out like a man right?

“You know vandalizing’s a crime? No you probably didn’t. What would some wasted thug know about anything?” he laughed, finding himself amusing. I smirked as I responded.

“If that’s what you think”

“C’mon we’re taking your ass right back to jail, and you can explain to a judge why you were out at 3 am spraying gang signs on a public structure.” He pushed me against the wall, handcuffing me. Damn. I really was about to go back to jail. I just got out too. Dally’s gonna kill me.

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I was not looking forward to that phone call. But I had to do it if I wanted a chance of getting out of here. I reluctantly picked up the phone and dialed his number. After a couple of seconds, he picked up.

�� “Hello?” his voice was deep and raspy. He probably just woke up.

“Hey baby”

“Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“Man, something doesn’t always have to be wrong for me to call my boyfriend”

“Doll, it’s three in the morning... What happened?”

“Y’know, it’s not really a big deal or anything but.... I may or may not have got arrested again. And I kinda need you to come down here and see if you can bail me out or something.” He let out a long sigh.

“Babe, how many times have I told you to be more careful?” He was angry. Not that I blamed him though. I would be angry too. I did get angry when he got arrested for some stupid shit. It was my own fault for being careless.

“Were you drinking again? Uhh Y/N, how could you be so careless? Do you know what could’ve happened to you if you happened to stumble across the wrong kinda guy? Do you know what happens to pretty, intoxicated, young girls at night on the streets Y/N!”

“Yes...” I responded my voice trailing off sheepishly. I hoped it wasn’t evident in my tone that I was hurt. I hated when he yelled at me. And I hated that he was always right. He let out a long sigh.

“Of course you do. I’m sorry for yellin’ at you doll. It’s just that I can’t help worrying for you. You’re all I got. Besides, if anyone dared to mess with you, you’d kick their ass. You’re one tough broad.” I could feel the smirk on his face as he said that. “I’ll be down at the station in a couple of minutes baby.” He said as he hung up.

He groaned as he approached the cell where I was being held. That couldn’t be good.

“Babe, they said there ain’t no bail this time” Shit. I was either going to jail for a couple more months or getting a shitload of community service hours. Hopefully the latter.

“Eeh, don’t worry about it Dal”

“I’ll just get a few months, that’s all.”

“Yeah but those months gonna feel like forever without you there.”

“I’ll be out before you know it. You should go get some sleep baby, it’s late. Or should I say early now?” I leaned in to kiss him through the cell bars. We only got a quick peck before the police officer yelled at us.

“Fuck him.” Dally mumbled before leaning in again. The officer basically dragged him out of there after that. I smiled. Classic Dally.

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There I was, sitting in my defendant chair, at my trial. Fun times. Dally, Johnny, and Sodapop came. Dally, because he had to, Johnny because he’s my best friend, and Sodapop simply because he had nothing better to do.

“Due to past offenses and lack of change in behavior from past prison sentences, I sentence Ms Y/L/N to 45 hours of community service, which can be completed in the span of 35 days at the local church.”

“With umm, all due respect your honor, can I just go to jail instead. Y’know sweeping floors and shit just ain’t really my thing.” I looked at Dally. He was smirking, trying to suppress a laugh or something. I sent a nasty glare his way.

“That type of profanity will not be tolerated in this courtroom Ms. Y/L/N, don’t make me tell you again. And I believe there is a choir that is in need of young members.”

“A choir?” I questioned, unimpressed. “You want me to go sing to God for spray painting some bridge? That just messed up man” Soda started laughing, apparently finding this whole situation amusing. “I ain’t takin’ yall to my court shit no more”

I walked out of the courtroom, Dally trailing along behind me. To say I was pissed was an understatement. How was she gonna make me go sing at some church and say that it’s community service. I mean, yeah I had a good voice, but you just don’t go walking around singing here, it was a quick way to get your ass kicked. Besides, I was supposed to be some hardened criminal or something. You ever see some hardened criminal dancing around on some stage. No. And you can bet your ass you won’t. That’s just how things work around here, and some people aren’t ever going to understand that.

“C’mon babe, it’s not that bad” he grabbed my arm, pulling me close to him. “I mean at least you’re not locked up somewhere, ‘cause we can still do stuff you know?” he winked. Of course that’s what he thought of, but I couldn’t help but smile. Dallas just had that effect on people. He could make ‘em laugh if he knew them real well. I leaned in for a kiss.

“Yeah I guess it ain’t so bad.”

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“I gotta wear this?” I almost yelled, holding up the choir robe.

“Why yes dear, it’s mandatory for all performances. Lucky for you, this is only a practice.” the nun replied. I was going to have to change that.

The nun lead me into the music room. The room got silent the moment I entered. They all recognized me, either from the paper, news, or they saw me in the midst of doing something illegal. This would be the last place they all expected me to show up. But here I was. They soon all resumed what they were doing, going back to their chatter and practicing riffs and other stuff among those activities. A young woman approached me. She was a little taller than me, skinny with straight red hair and thick glasses. She looked familiar somehow.

“Bass, alto, or soprano?” she asked. “I don’t sing.”

“Alto.” she stated. She clapped her hands twice. All the students looked up, and got into their places without even mumbling another word. These guys must be strict. Here’s the little problem with that. I don’t follow rules very well. I never have, and I’ll never care to learn. She dragged me over and placed me in the middle section, in the front. Great, I thought. Now she’s gonna be watching every little thing I do. She sang out “la la la la la la la” and everyone else repeated it back to her. Yeah I wasn’t really feeling that so I didn’t. She repeated the exercise for the third time, and after seeing me not doing it, she pointed at me and called me to the front, right next to her. Here we go again. “la la la la la la la”. I once again ignored her attempt to make me sing. I wasn’t going to do it. Sorry man, it’s bad for my rep. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t want to sing, I loved to. It’s just that I didn’t want to sing in front of a group of people just for them to laugh at me. She closed her hand, silencing everyone else.

“La la la la la la” I just stared at her and shook my head nonchalantly. She was persistent for she repeated it again. Realizing she wasn’t going to stop until I did, I sung it back quietly and purposely off-key. She shook her head and did it again. This time I sung it right, but still quietly. She nodded her head and smiled, as she made the rest of the choir resume. We continued this and practiced some other classic gospel songs for the rest of the time. 4:30, finally. I went to leave, following all the other students out, but her voice rang out.

“Y/L/N, stay after.” Great. Just what I needed.

“Why weren’t you singing?”

“I was” I corrected.

“Doing the bare minimum required is not singing. I know that the only reason you are here is to fulfill your service hours and then go back to being a menace to society after but, while you are here you will not be a burden to my choir. And yes you may have been mumbling the words to the songs incorrectly, but unless you are adding something to the group, you are a burden. So you may want to consider contributing something to this group. Is that understood?”

“Yeah I guess. I just don’t know what you think I can ‘contribute to this group’. I ain’t got no talent or nothing. All’s I got is drugs and street smarts man.”

“As I heard before, you have a nice voice, which can be contributed by singing the lead to out next song, don’t you think?”

“No I don’t think so. If you think I’m gonna get up and sing by myself in front of God knows who, you’re crazy.”

“Whether you like it or not, you’re going to have to sing while you’re here, so you might as well try.” she urged, grabbing sheet music and handing it to me. She sat down at the piano. “I’m assuming you’re familiar with ‘Oh Happy Day’?” I nodded in response. “So sing it” she said as she started playing the rhythm on the piano.

“Oh happy day” I almost mumbled. She stopped playing.

“Sing out, nobody’s here to judge you” she started playing from the beginning again.

‘Oh happy day.” I repeated, this time a little louder and clearer. “C’mon you aint gonna scare no one.”

“Oh happy day” I sung out loudly, my voice vibrating off the walls of the tiny room. “Now you got it.”

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I was sitting on the couch, my head on Dally’s shoulder, watching Mickey Mouse with the bois.

“So, Y/N, you gonna be singin’ in the choir this Sunday huh?” Soda asked, even though he already knew the answer. “Mhmm” I responded curtly, not wanting anyone else in the gang to know about it.

“Blimey Y/L/N, I didn’t know you were in a choir.” Two-Bit explained. “You should’ve told us Y/N, we would’ve came if it meant so much to you.”

“Lay off it Two-Bit, it’s for community service.” I said, rolling my eyes, lighting a cigarette. That was the last thing I wanted, for all of them to show up to see me mumbling words, wearing some cloak, looking like a complete idiot.

“Geez Y/N, it’s not like I asked for your first born child. What’s got you so mad anyways?” he asked as if it wasn’t obvious. What part of forced to sing in a choir wasn’t he getting. I threw the pillow next to me at him lightly. Dally chuckled.

“Don’t get so worked up about it doll” he provoked, smirking. “Shut up Dal... What’s everyone gonna think when they see me up there, in some crusty robe. I’m supposed to be tough or something, and singing doesn’t really help with that much”

“Oh c’mon babe, you’re doing community service hours because you’ve been to jail too many times or something like that. Everyone in there’s already scared of you.” I had to at least let a tiny smirk on my face. He was right. He always was. “I know” he said smugly.

“Huh?” I questioned. “You said all that out loud doll.” Oops. “Fuck you.” I said, sticking my tongue out.

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It was the big day. Fun right? Yeah no. The room was almost full with people and we were about to go on. I didn’t even know people still went to church. Nope. There was no way I was doing this. There were way too many people for my liking. I would just go back to court, and take whatever excessive penalty they gave me. I may go to jail, but at least I’d have my dignity. I was just about to walk out when the teacher came up to me.

“You’re really about to leave right now?” she raised her eyebrow. I nodded sarcastically in response. “So all that hard work, all that time and effort, not only put in by you, but by the rest of the choir, you’re just going to throw it away? If you leave right now, not only are you screwing yourself over, but the rest of the choir, and the people who were expecting us to sing today.”

“You can find someone better to sing my part.” I remarked.

“Oh, so you’re scared? You’re scared they’re not going to like your voice. You’re scared you’re going to ruin your reputation. You’re scared to show them that you’re exceptionally talented. Now let me tell you something. I don’t care who’s out there today. I don’t care who’s watching or judging us. You’re going to go out there, and you’re going to sing, no matter what. Because I’m not going to let you screw over this whole choir, and more importantly, I’m not going to let you screw up your chance to have a perfectly good opportunity to do something that you may love. So today, you’re going to get up on that stage and you’re going to sing for whoever the hell may be listening. And you’re going to do it well. You owe it to us. After that I don’t give a crap what you do. You can leave and go to jail time instead. Just not today.” she demanded, leading us all out onto the stage.

I took my usual spot in the back, but she pulled me to the front. She gave us a 4 beat count off and the piano started. I scanned the audience. Right in the front row was the gang. Shit. I panicked. They couldn’t know about this. I was already nervous to begin with. There was no more time to worry. The teacher pointed at me, cuing me to start. I sang the lyrics quietly, and not that well. I finished the first verse.

“You’re going to have to do a lot better than that.” She said. “Come here.” she pointed next to her in the very front. Feeling quite embarrassed I took my hands and shoved them in my pockets, staring at the floor. “You take your cues from me.”

“la la la la la la la.” We repeated it back to her. She pointed at me. “You.”

“la la la la la la la.” I repeated the tune. “Sing it”

“Oh happy day.” I sung, this time loud and clearly. You could feel the tone in the room shift. “Oh happy day” people looked up in shock, maybe because I was singing it, or maybe because we sounded really good. “When Jesus washed. When Jesus washed. When, my Jesus washed, he washed my sins away.” I threw a couple riffs in there to make it fancy.

“la la la la la la la.” we sung this warm up again a few times. “Let’s party.” the teacher said. “He taught me how” we sang in harmony, as we clapped on the second and fourth beat. “Oh he taught me how” I walked toward the front of the stage even more, the simple rhythm moving me. “To wash, to wash” I repeated from the background melody. “And live rejoicing. Yes he did. Oh yeah. Every, everyday.” I continued. The melody went down a key. “Oh, oh, happy day. Oh happy day yeah. When Jesus washed. When my Jesus washed. When Jesus washed.” I went into my falsetto. I finally gained the courage to look over at the gang. Soda’s jaw dropped, and Dally just sat there with a look in his eyes that I just couldn’t place, but they all definitely looked surprised. The crowd even started clapping, midst performance. I couldn’t help but smile. “My sins away. Oh you know I’m talkin’ bout happy days. Oh yeah. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Yeah. C’mon. Oh happy day.” We all finished, arms up in the shape of a v. The crowd erupted in applause, standing up too. Wow. I never expected such a positive reaction. We all took our bows and headed off back stage.

I changed back into my greaser attire, and headed out in search of the gang. I found them quick, easily spotting Darry. The second I reached them they all swarmed on top of me. Steve pulled me under his arm, pretending to hit me on the head with his fist.

“Damn, Y/N, you never told us you could sing like that” Darry marveled. “Any other things you’ve been keeping from us, like a secret son or somethin’” Two-Bit joked. They all continued like this for a while, until Dally interrupted.

“Alright, alright. Damn I can’t even talk to my own girl with all you bums around.” but even he couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah c’mon guys, let Y/N go talk to her boyfriendddd.” Soda started. “ooooooooh” they all joined in. “Oh shut up.” I said playfully, shooing them off with my hand. Dally walked me out to his car, his arm slung over my shoulder. He opened and closed my car door and then went around to get in.

“Look man, you know I’m not good at this type of shit but, Goddamn Y/N. You never told me you had a voice like that. Man I ain’t exaggerating when I say that you have the most beautiful voice I ever heard. Shit, I never knew my babygirl was so talented.” he took his eyes off the road to give me a quick kiss. I was smiling so much by then. The car swerved, almost hitting a tree.

“Dally!” I almost screamed while laughing. “What baby, it’s only a tree.” he was laughing too.

“I guess community service ain’t so bad after all.”

More Like This

#dallas winston #dally winston #the outsiders #dallas winston x reader #dally winston x reader #dallas winston imagine #dally winston imagine #prison #prison imagine #moonwalkwithuswriting

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itsjusta · 3 years

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March 1. (Mon)

my damgos were idiooots i had 2!!!! grrrr issa da first one was so sad and scary doe cos there were 3 of us in a room. it was me, mom, and a friend but idk who doeee and naa nisulod nga gunman tas gipusil niya sila duha and si mommy doe kay critical and grabe ang awas sa dugo so ako gihiktan sa cloth pero grabe na ako hilak doeee :(( and gitawagan nako si daddy doe but wala sya nituo iya rako pasagdan huhu and gitawagan tka doeee tas nianhi ka but u didnt help doeee u just left doe :((( i was so hurt doeee issa i felt betrayed cos wa gyd mo nitabang and mommy was dying doe :(( tas atong nakasakay nami sa tricycle going to hospital issa na see pa gyd tka sa dalan and gitawag tka but nag meet up man diay mo saimo uyab wth doeee i just cried a lot doe i was so scared na mamatay si mommy and i was alone HUHU and nakamata ko doeee and naa na gyd tears sako eyes :((( naka cry jd ko in real life huhu dat was so scary and so sakit doe!!!

da 2nd damgo also an idiot doeee cos kaslon na daw ko doe but di gyd ko gusto cos young paman kooo but daghan politicians nangadto doe and daghan gyd people naa pa gani ka hahha idk who’s my groom doeee but before ko nisulod sa church kay nang hangyo ko sko friend nga itakas ko doe so gikuha namo car ni Unabia and we drove away doeee HAHAHHA but then i got konsensya doeee luoy au mga people so ana ko balik nalang mi but i will explain na di gyd ko magpakasal doeee!!!! issa gi chat pa gani tka ato dayon doe i informed u nga mubalik ko aish but when we went back issa ang groom napd nawala doeee hahahah idiooot!!!

dis was a kapoy day doeee nag do ko smol acads lang then nag sleep lang and watch2 kdrama and tv heheheh i also realized na 9 months nata bulag omg?!?! so fast ang panahooon 🥺

March 2 (Tues)

issa an okay daaay langgg doeee issa 8 kapin ko kamata so early doeee aish so i hd iced coffee chour!!! issa nag acads pd ko hehe also nag gmeet mi ni claire for our midterms doeee and issa ordered mcflurry and fries yummy doe hehehe just watched tv with mom lang dayon after doee!! nag play pd ko codm with friends but kadjot lang 3 games laaang hehe and balik lang dayon ko room mom doeee tambay lang ko while watch sya tv heheh

March 3 (Wed)

issa an okay day lang alsooo doeee but dugay au time now!! issa after lunch i wanted to sleep doeee but so igang in my room and naa pajd ga videoke sa silingan and my mind also active aissshhh 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ issa watch nalang ko movie and then nag do midterms with claire doeee hehe

issa amo midterms doeee kay murag mag interview mi about samo personal problems jd doeee shy ko tell kay claire sako problems like sa family doeee and kato self harm aishhh ikaw ra baya nakabalo ato doeee :((( but its okay aishhh for da grades and issa klarye raman pd doeee i can also trust dat idiot heheh i also talked about our break up doe naka cry ko laytch uy!!! hahahah

when mommy arrived issa watch pd ko rv saiya room doeee

also i’m like an idiot doeee gi mute baya tka sa ig but sge ko adto saimo profile to see if naa ka story?!?! and maybe if naa dayon ma hurt dayon ko HAHAHHA issa so tiring to be an idiot 🤦🏻‍♀️

March 4 (Thurs)

i dont like this day doeee heavy ako heart since pag wake up and cry ko a looot and overthink ko a looottt 😔 just an extra hard daaaay today!!!! so hard to pugong the tears doeee 🥺🥺 (wrote dis before u sent pa dat msg doeee omg very emotional day gyd!!!)

issa sayo ko ka sleep gahapon doeee mga 11 hehe but aish 10 pa nag start naman ko sleep doe cos sleepy nako and bored na au ko doeee sleep nalang ko but my mind so activeeee many ko think nga sad tots issa idiot mind making me cry a litol!! hahah issa 11 na nuon ko ka sleep 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ issa wake up pd ko 7 kay naa ko class doeee issa not nice ako sleep uy issa ga damgo2 ko doeee and my latest damgo was classmate ta doe and di ka ga bali2 saako like imo ko gina avoid doeee issa idiooot bahala ka uy!!!! making me not feel good huh!!!! even when i woke up issa not ko feel good bcos of dat hmppp issa heavy ako heart pag wake up today!!!

issa ordered pancake and iced coffee from mcdo doeee palibre ko mo ako gi eat after class then nag do dayon ko isa ka activity heheh issa mga 10 am dayon nag walking mi sa dogs outside doeee kami pretprot and babas but mga 5 mins lang cos init!!!

issa cried pa more in the afternoon doeee issa mag nap unta ko but aisshhh my mind is thinking of a lot of things doeee :((( i feel like a lot will change doe and changes scare me doeee :(( i feel like u dont want to talk na doeee cos idk issa lahi imo vibes nooow murag feel nako gaka pugos rakag reply hahahaha and it makes me cry cos cutting off commu is going to be a big change gyd but again, i know nga if the time comes, i will have to accept man gyd and i know that time will come doeee but even if i know nga muabot doe kay its so sakit gihapon doe and its so scary :((( das why thinking about it doe just makes me cry hahah and aishhh i feel jd doe dat youre tired of talking to me HAHAHHA i even went to mom’s room doe para di nako cry but cry man gyapon ko uyyyy idiot

u know i’ve accepted najd doe nga di gyd ma return ako love and effort saimo but sometimes issa it just hurts so much doeee to not receive it back and days like these i ask for strength jd doe nga makaya nako ang kasakit 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (dis was before pa u told me to cut off doe omg issa strong gut feeling jd)

anddd yun na nga issa nag ask najd diay ka mag cut off and aisshhh it was scary gyd doe and sakit but no choice :(((( it’s for the best gyd sguro doeee cos maybe i’ll get in trouble and maybe mag away pd mo doe ion want u to be sad doeee if u get away :((( u know gyd na i will always kaya everything basta its for ur happiness doe 🥺🥺 i wish u only the best doeee even if kailangan mulayo ko saimoha doeee hehehe thank you for calling me!!!!! don’t miss me too much ok!!! bleh!!

if u feel overwhelmed na gyd with acads u can chat me ok!!!! and if u want to learn to edit vids doeee inshot is a good app heheh

March 5 (Fri)

issa woke up before 9 doeee idk why nga 1 naman unta ko ka sleep 🤦🏻‍♀️ grabe kahubag ako eyes doeeee so idiot huhu issa i saw pd irian’s tiktok when i woke up doeee cos i went man to ur profile issa u look good and happy together doe 🥺🥺 you guys are bagay doeee and i like seeing you laugh in the vids doeee issa makes me happy na inana ka ka happy 🥺🥺 i want u to be happy lang uyyy no no sad!! i pugong na not to cry doeee cos i cried a lot na kaayo gabii and my eyes so big naaaa but writing dis issa makes me cry a litol hahahha issa when i see raba stuff lyk dat dugay kaayooo mawala sako mind doeee unhealthy mind mani but aish im practicing gyd not to think about the stuff i see about u guys 💆🏻‍♀️

anywaaay today is day 1!!! ahhahah char 🥺🥺 im scared doe but idk alsoooo im just really thinking na its needed doe 🥺 im doing this for you gyddd doe cos i want u to have a happier relationship doe issa u know i would sacrifice a lot for ur happiness heheh i will also do this for myself doeee i will try not cry a lot and miss u alooot ok but i think gonna be hard esp the first weeks doeee so dont kasaba me if i cry a lot ok!!! :(((( u know i cry easily hmpppp

alsooo doeee my new tiktok is: displaylangsatiktok.a

u cant follow gyd me diay doeee its ok ako nalang gi public ang vids doeee im shy hahah but para ma see nimo doeee and unfollow nalang pd tkaaaa para not sya maka see sa ako profile okayyy but idk doe im shy man uy maybe ako ra i friends again issa di ka maka see aishhh bleh

i had iced coffee at 9:30 am doeee hehe i divided one medium iced coffee sa mcdo into 3 para mulast sya 3 mornings cos u know i palpitate if i drink a lot of coffee doeee hehhe at lunch time we went to laguidingan doe kami mom and daaad hehe we uban pretprot and babas kay luoy man pretty if sya lang alone 🤦🏻‍♀️ issa chivas doe sge pangaway sa mga dogs outside nya mga big raba jd doe and many pa gyd sila but isog au da smol dog!!!

issa i’m justi doing things that help me pass timeee doeee now issa nag draw2 ko kadjot doeee hahah and watch movie alsooo i just have to get used to this again doeee whenever i get the urge to cry doe i tell myself no no nooo huhu but idk if i can hold dis doee later if mag sleep nako

update: 9:58 and i cannot hold it na doeee cry na gyd ko cos i can see that u really love her doeee and aish sana ol 🥺🥺 u r a great person doe and she’s blessed to have youuu 🥺 and im so sorry if i bother you doeee :(

dis my last weekly update na okaaay i will do an everyday diary naaa so dat u will always be updateeed 🥺 maybe around 9-10pm every night ko post okaaay heheh

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lasercruz · 4 years

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@quarterdollar fuck you and im sorry that i took so long to answer and i hope that im mostly coherent because i am. very tired as im typing this

1: Full name Nicky Jackie Marie Cruz !!

2: Age 21

3: 3 Fears Mold, tall heights if I’m not secured (like, I’m not scared of rollercoaster heights but I’m scared of like, cliffs), and balloons esp balloon animals

4: 3 things I love I love so many things uhh hh h. Jjba, adventure zone, and my friendssss 💞

I know turn ons/offs aren’t inherently sexual but i never know what to say for them so im skipping them :0

7: My best friend you 🥺🥺

8: Sexual orientation bi

9: My best first date ive never really been on a actual date :0

10: How tall am I 5′3

11: What do I miss being with my friends physically and just watching stuff or goofing around on the floor 😭

12: What time were I born 11:02pm

13: Favourite color Dark blues

14: Do I have a crush yes shh

15: Favourite quote there so much sappy quotes that are on uquizzes a lot that i like a lot the first that comes to mind is “ You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.” and so on and also “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more”

16: Favourite place As far as just physically and not like people or other stuff that comes with with a place, I miss VT campus a lot tbh more than I thought I would. To pick a more specific place, the gazebo at the duck pond cause its where I’d go if I wanted to be alone or like if my roommate was sleeping or working and i didnt want to worry about being quite and it was always super peaceful

17: Favourite food I dont really have One favorite food it just depends what I’m in the mood for but my go to answer for favorite food category wise is either chinese or seafood

18: Do I use sarcasm Depends who I’m with ?? Generally no not often but if im close with someone and just goofin yeah

19: What am I listening to right now My love song playlist. its my go to thing to listen to cause my playlist with all my music has so much on it that i end up skipping half the songs until i find something im in the mood for and this one has a lot less that i end up skipping. the current song its on is day without you by keep for cheap

20: First thing I notice in new person It depends on the person like if they have something that stands out about them, thats what I tend to notice but like. How they carry themself i guess ? cause i feel like thats a easy way to get a read on somebody before talking to them

21: Shoe size 5 mens / 7 womans

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Naturally dark brown but currently dyed black with rainbow bangs

24: Favourite style of clothing this question is on so many ask games and quizzes and I never know how to answer it cause i feel like i dont really have one specific style,, I like colorful and fun stuff i guess ?

25: Ever done a prank call? No and if you prank call a place of business youre annoying. i used to answer phones at work and we didn’t get them super often but GOD i hate prank callers

27: Meaning behind my URL emu is an old nickname and what i mainly went by until i settled on Nicky and this. is my blog.

28: Favourite movie Baby driver !!

29: Favourite song my go to answer for this is community gardens by the scary jokes

30: Favourite band THE SCARY JOKES

31: How I feel right now sleeby,,,,

32: Someone I love i love , my friendz ,, 🥺🥰

33: My current relationship status single ✌️

34: My relationship with my parents im close to my mom but i dont really get along with my dad ,

35: Favourite holiday Christmas !

36: Tattoos and piercing i have no tattoos, 3 piercings in each ear (2 on each earlobe and 1 on the top on each side)

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I want a interrobang on my wrist and an Aquarius symbol on my ankle and MAYBE the joestar birthmark, i wouldn’t mind more ear piercings and i want a septum piercing but ive seen videos of them getting done and they make me squirm i dont know if id go through with it

38: The reason I joined Tumblr sdklgkjgh i had a my little pony roleplay blog before i made my personal account

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we’re good friends !!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? no not regularly at least

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? no

42: When did I last hold hands? my mom tried to hold my hand when i was half asleep on the couch the other day but like i was so out of it so like it was more our fingers together and the rest of my hand just loosely dangling so if that doesnt count, you

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? i give myself about 2 hours if im doing full makeup but thats purposefully longer than i need so i dont have to worry about rushing and i can relax and take my time

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i only shave them if they’re gonna be showing or if the Urge to be Smooth comes over me

45: Where am I right now? my room at home on my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? probably Kaylie cause she doesn’t drink and i assume if im drunk with other friends there she’d be the only sober one

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable, if i have it too loud i cant think so the only time i have my music loud is if im doing nothing and want to Not Think

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Ye

49: Am I excited for anything? short term im excited for the ai crushes all banks stream tonight and long term im excited to move into our apartment

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? no im not a tell everything to someone type of person .

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? i smile most of the time like, at work (before we wore masks) id always be smiling to look nice and like. just in general if i want to Not Look Unhappy or whatever

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? my mom probably like, yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? ive never kissed any1 .

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? nope i don’t think i really trust easily so like this doesnt rlly happen,

55: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up late cause i was up late last night so ive been tired all day I dont like the feeling

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? language barriers aside itd be super cool to meet hirohiko araki

57: What do I think about most? Whatever media im currently most into so right now adventure zone and magnus archives

58: What’s my strangest talent? umm i dunno im kinda flexable i guess ? not like ~contortionist~ level but like enough that i can freak people out sometimes

59: Do I have any strange phobias? i mentioned balloons as a fear in an eariler question so yeah that but im a lot better about it than i used to be

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? in front tbh

61: What was the last lie I told? i was on phones for the last hour and a half of my shift on friday and like. when people call and ask if an item is in stock and i can’t confirm it i, just tell them its not. like, someone asked if we had a specific kayak and i usually just search the walmart app or run over to where itd be to check but the kayaks are to far for me to run to and the app said limited stock which usually means little to none so , i just put it on hold for a bit then tell him we’re out.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i like video chatting in theory cause its nice to see people visibly react to stuff but i tend to get too self conscious about how i look so i just do audio only

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both !! i am both

64: Do I believe in magic? yes in some ways i suppose

65: Do I believe in luck? yes im v superstitious

66: What’s the weather like right now? its a pretty good day its sunny but not too hot :oo

67: What was the last book I’ve read? its been ages since i last read a book in full 😔 i honestly dont knwo what the last one would of been 😔 😔

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes !!! love it

69: Do I have any nicknames? not anything i get consistently called no

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? ive never gotten super hurt that i can think of ??

71: Do I spend money or save it? save it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? doppio bean plush ,,,,

74: Favourite animal? hedgehogs!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? on my phone probably on tiktok or something waiting for jojo to come on toonami

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I? dont think he has one i guess ??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? butterflies by samsa but it makes me happy in the “im crying now” kinda way itss cute

78: How can you win my heart? just by being nice and respectful tbh ,

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? idk i dont really want anything fancy just my name (chosen name please god im so scared of dying and geting my birth name on my tombstone if that happens i WILL come back as a vengeful ghost) and my birth and death dates

80: What is my favorite word? saccharine

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr by my tumblr crushes (which its been YEARS since i looked at) ; frostios, 27names4tears, smollpurrito, happynaru, and warpedlamp

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? if we being real id just get so scared dsjkfsldjglg theres so much i could say i dont know :((

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? not ? that i know of

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? why are all the questions worded super basic except this one skdlskdjfj. Shape shifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i can really think of anything really as long as a friend is asking i tend to answer truthfully ?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Sobble BUT this reminded me that i wanted to change it to a xenoblade pic so its this now :

90: Failed a class? no

91: Kissed a boy? no

92: Kissed a girl? no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no but oh god just thinking about that im 🥺🥺🥺🥺 id die id melt 🥺🥺

94: Had job? ye i was a cashier for a year in highschool and then i work in wamlart apparel in the summers

95: Left the house without my wallet? not when I know ill need it no, but ive left it home if im just going to a friend or family member’s house or i have my mom’s card or some cash in my pocket

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no !!

98: Played on a sports team? no lmao i dont do sports

99: Smoked weed? no

100: Did drugs? i had a weed brownie like once but it was such a small piece i didnt really feel anything

101: Smoked cigarettes? no

102: Drank alcohol? Ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? not currently i was vegan for a little bit to encourage a friend that was doing it though

104: Been overweight? no

105: Been underweight? no

106: Been to a wedding? yes three, my grandma’s when she got remarried, and both my brothers

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably yes lmao often

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? not TV TV but if netflix and the like count then yes

109: Been outside my home country? no :(

110: Gotten my heart broken? not ? really no

111: Been to a professional sports game? ive been to a handful of Yankee games

112: Broken a bone? no

114: Been to prom? yes i went to my highschool’s and a friend’s highschool’s my senior year

115: Been in airplane? no

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none :((((

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? ye

119: Learned another language? i took 3 years of Spanish in high school but i wasn’t any good at it and dont really remember much of what i did learn

120: Wore make up? yes i do often :0

123: Dyed my hair? ye a lot

124: Voted in a presidential election? yes ever since iv been old enough to i vote

125: Rode in an ambulance? no

126: Had a surgery? dental surgery yes

127: Met someone famous? Not anyone i’d count no

128: Stalked someone on a social network? depends on what you count as stalking i guess but like not ever in a creepy way like ive been on people’s social media to find out stuff about them like. if theyre in a relationship or especially after highschool ill wonder about someone i havent talked to in awhile and ill see what theyve been up to and what theyre doing with their life and stuff

129: Peed outside? no

130: Been fishing? yes like once

131: Helped with charity? donation wise yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? ive never confessed to anyone and been rejected but once a friend told my crush i liked them and they confronted me about it and rejected me but it made me more mad at the friend that told them than it made me sad about being rejected because i knew it’d probably go like that and it justmade thing awkward between us for awhile 😔

133: Broken a mirror? ive broken the little mirrors inside eyeshadow pallets but i havent broken full ones

134: What do I want for birthday? usually just money lol or something thoughtful and cute

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? i aggresivly do NOT want kids BUT hypohetically Elliot or Xander for a boy and idk what i’d nam a girl

136: Was I named after anyone? no

137: Do I like my handwriting? its messy so no not really but if im writing something for myself like a not or whatever i dont mind as long as i can read it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? even as a little kid i always played computer games but other than that, this guy :

139: Favourite Tv Show? Jojo

140: Where do I want to live when older? New york or japan

141: Play any musical instrument? i can kind of play harmonica

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? i burnt my thumb kinda bad on the oven a while ago its still kinda healing but right now it looks like its gonna stay a scar

143: Favourite pizza toping? i like everything/suprieme pizza but if i have to pick one single topping pepperoni

144: Am I afraid of the dark? yes :((

145: Am I afraid of heights? mentioned it earlier but yes if im not strapped in or secured etc

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? no im so scared of being caught doing something bad that i just. dont

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? i mean yes but thats life babey

149: What my greatest achievments are ive gotten awards for grades and stuff but that boring BUT i got the english department award or whatever that was called im very proud of that

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery i donate some and save the rest tbh

152: What do I like about myself i can be pretty sometimes 👉👈 im cute or whateva ,,,

153: My closest Tumblr friend i dont really havent “tumblr friends” aside from friends i know irl and also tey have tumblrs ,,

154: Something I fantasise about just. growing up and having my own place maybe with someone and. being comfortable and okay and not having to worry ,,

155: Any question you’d like? dkfjhdskhf japan :000

#ask #mine

3 notes · View notes

thiswhatgodfeelslike · 5 years

Text

a lot of kids right after highschool or even during highschool will start to experiment on drugs which is cool yeah okay, but you also never know how they will affect you until after you do them!! so its important to do research it really is. i tried psychedelics on impulse with my friends after working all night. so i come home around midnight, and me and 3 other people did it. I felt it coming an hour later. At first it was such a good experience. we were all laughing so hard we were crying. my friend ethan took his first about 30 min before us. He felt ot coming before us. As it was coming he kind of freaked out and started having a bad trip off the bat. I remember he was telling us, dont do this, throw up right now, you dont wanna feel like this, so that kind of freaked everyone one out. His brother was addicted to airduster and died in a car crash must i add. & so he lived through that and was trippin thinking he was being airlifted and literally gonna die. He called his mom but our trip setter said it was a buttdail and hung up LOL. Anyway after a couple hours he came out of that bad time and 'woke up' like nothing happened. Still trippin, he started talking about time and how everything is a loop and that its not real. I started to laugh, and then i was hysterically crying. My friend Bryce who wasnt on anything tried to help me. I asked if he would go upstairs with me because downstairs wasnt a good setting for me at that time. Upstairs, it was dark. He was trying to comfort me the best he could. I started seeing things. I already was seeing things and patterns. But i started seeing bad things. Bugs, all over the walls. Things crawling all over me. I was terrified. I finally ran out of the room and almost fell down the stairs on my way out because i was scared. I walked outside for a bit. It was beautiful and i felt at peace again. Its about 5am now and everyone was trying to sleep. Me and zack went upstairs to sleep in bryces bed. He fell asleep almost instantly, as did everyone else downstairs... no matter how hard i tried to sleep i couldnt. I closed my eyes and my momd took over so i tried to stay up for that reason. I was laying there looking at everything in the room, a stuffed plush turtle was on the bed and it started to swom around the room. I remember asking fairly loudly , can anyone here me.. is anyone awake... no answers. I was laying there in bed telling myself outloud, 'i am never doing this again. Hope- dont do this again. You know what you feel like right now and you dont want this. Please dont do this again'. Bryce had a bathroom in his bedroom so i took a journey there. And thats when i just looked at myself and my face was so disoriented. It was so weird. I dont know why i did, maybe i thought i would be sobered up if i seen some sort of 'reality'. I was there forever it seemed like. Just looking at myself and i didnt like what i saw. 8am rolls around and everyone wakes up. Their trip is over. I am still awake, 24ish hours at this point. Im still not here. I still see things. Every word i attempted to say just didnt sound right to me. I didnt feel like myself. I do believe i killed myself or whoever i was on the inside after that. We walk downstairs and ethan takes me & zack with him to get food. Walking outside, just looking around at what we think is reality. I didnt see it. There was no reality for me. We get im his truck and start driving. The world is so crazy and fake. Thats all i remember thinking. We got pulled over because i didnt have a seatbelt on. Talking to the cop was the biggest challenge i have faced i swear to god. I felt like he knew i wasnt really there. Like he knew i knew i am retarded and that reality isnt real. Anyway. I never paid that ticket.

1 year later

me and zack move out to a 1 bedroom apartment. Bryce, dion, and tim came over. They all wanted to do shrooms. Ofcourse i said no at first because i remember what i told myself out loud. And i knew i didnt want to expierence that again. I kept getting, cmon shrooms are way different, they wont be as strong. So i said ok. We took the shrooms and mixed them up with lemon juice and took a shot. I only did 3 grams. We drive around immediately after and they start to hit as we're driving. I was telling myself in my head, its okay. Its okay. Its okay. This is gonna be a good trip. We go to a park and walk around. Everything was so vivid and bright and so fucking beautiful. We're there for an hour or two. We smoke 2 blunts. It was fun. I liked it at the park. We go home early. A tiny one bedroom apartment with 5 people in it. As im walking up the apartment stairs i started to notice things that were entering my mind. It wasnt good. Call it an anxiety attack. But tripping. After sitting on the couch as long as i could i go to the bed and lay down. I get scared. So terrifed. Why am i thinking what im thinking. I try to act normal. I lay in bed alone and do what i would usually do. Then i asked myself what the FUCK would i usually do. I yelled for zack. He came. I started talking about so much but mainly what i was exactly thinking at that moment. I was saying everything that was entering my mind idk why but i was. " i want to kill myself " and that was fucking it. "Can you please shoot me i cant take this. This is too much i dont want to live here anymore i cant do this" maybe i was thinking that because i lied to myseld and i did it again. I did psychedelics again. After i begged myself to never do it. I threw up. After a couple hours in the bathroom trying to think of how i can possibly shoot my brains out because i couldnt take it. It was mental torture. I was already killing myself by doing the shrooms and i think i knew it deep down. anyway after some hours I layed down at 8pm and falling alseep was the hardest thing ever.. but i managed. I woke up the next day and let me tell you guys. I will never be the same. Its like, multiple illnesses seeped out from the depths and theyre with me every goddamn day. I feel the same urges and tendencies as i did when i freaked out. A simple stomach ache will trigger it. Sometimes weed will trigger it. Just dont fucking do psychedelics if you dont know anything about them, about yourself, or about family history of mental illnesses. I discovered too much for my own good and im stuck like this forever.

#lsd trip #my lsd trip #shrooms #drugs #mental ill health #mental breakdown #mental health #mental instability #therapy

6 notes · View notes

antiadvil · 3 years

Text

5 times Dan and Fiona were not dating (and one time they were)

summary: Dan has been confused about her sexuality for a long time, and Fiona isn’t helping. Or maybe she is?

Labels are overrated. Having sex with girls is fun. Just as long as there aren’t any feelings involved. And there aren’t any, right? Right?

rating: M

wc: ~3k

notes: right so, halfway through outlining this fic I decided it would be fun to write little interludes that contain every message Dan and Fiona send between chapters. so... this is the result.

They're designed so that they don't have to be read to understand the upcoming chapters, and there isn't really an overarching plot or anything, just a collection of fairly random conversations, but I hope you'll give them a read anyway.

chapter 2/12- Interlude One

current chapter on ao3 | tumblr masterlist | first chapter on tumblr

October 20, 2019:

Fiona, 11:34 am: I woke up so late holy shit

Dan, 11:36 am: lol

Dan, 11:36 am: what time did you go to bed

Fiona, 11:36 am: …

Fiona, 11:37 am: Late

Dan, 11:37 am: i got up at 10

Dan, 11:37 am: ha

Fiona, 11:37 am: Look at Miss I Have My Life Together

Fiona, 11:37 am: Does she deign to share her advice with her loyal peasants

Dan, 11:38 am: no

Fiona, 11:38 am: :(

Dan, 11:39 am: suffer

Fiona, 11:41 am: I am

Fiona, 11:41 am: We’re out of cheerios

Dan, 11:42 am: why

Fiona, 11:42 am: I ate them

Dan, 11:42 am: so you see why this is your fault?

Fiona, 11:43 am: No

Dan, 11:43 am: hmm

Fiona, 11:43 am: Shut up

Fiona 11:43 am: Ok bye I apparently need to go to the grocery store

Dan, 11:44 am: wow that’s so weird i wonder why you have to go to the grocery store

Dan, 11:44 am: bye have fun

Fiona, 11:55 am: grocery shopping is never fun

Dan, 11:55: you’re never fun

Fiona, 12:06 pm: :(

Fiona, 6:40 pm:

Dan, 7:02 pm: WHAT

Dan, 7:02 pm: DONT CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS

Dan, 7:02 pm: LOOK WE WERE JUST FRIENDS OKAY

Dan, 7:02 pm: female friendship is a very powerful thing

Fiona, 7:03 pm: sure lmao

Fiona, 7:03 pm: Glad to help you discover the power of female friendship last night <3

Dan, 7:03 pm: STOP

Dan, 7:03 pm: YOU’VE CALLED ME OUT ENOUGH

Fiona, 7:04 pm: have I

Dan, 7:04 pm: yes

Dan, 7:04 pm: be nice :(

Fiona, 7:04 pm: What if I’m not a nice person?

Dan, 7:05 pm: you are tho

Fiona, 7:05 pm: no u

Dan, 7:06 pm: 🥺

Fiona, 7:06 pm: bottom

Dan, 7:06 pm: fuck you

Fiona, 7:07 pm: lol that’s not how top/bottom works, dan

Dan, 7:07 pm: FUCK YOU

Fiona, 7:07 pm: ok maybe if you ask nicely

Dan, 7:07 pm: no thoughts head empty

Fiona, 7:08 pm: good thing I’m not attracted to you for your brain <3

Dan, 7:08 pm: …

Fiona, 7:08 pm: too far?

Dan, 7:09 pm: roast me harder daddy 🥺

Fiona, 7:09 pm: jesus fucking christ

Fiona, 7:09 pm: i hate you

Dan, 7:10 pm: :(

Fiona, 7:10 pm: ugh FINE I don’t

Dan, 7:10 pm: :)

October 21, 2019:

Dan, 10:31 am: wanna see my favorite tumblr post

Fiona, 11:42 am: YES

Dan, 11:43 am: … did you just wake up

Fiona, 11:43 am: DO YOU THINK I’M THIS ENERGETIC WHEN I JSUT WOKE UP?

Dan, 11:44 am: *JUST

Fiona, 11:44 am: SHUT

Fiona, 11:44 am: GIVE ME POST

Dan, 11:45 am:

Fiona, 11:46 am: That’s your favorite tumblr post?

Dan, 11:46 am: yes

Fiona, 11:46 am: Should I be concerned that it’s about murder

Dan, 11:47 am: it’s not about murder

Fiona, 11:47 am: Yes it is

Dan, 11:47 am: it’s about homiecide

Fiona, 11:47 am: I will kill you

Dan, 11:48 am: you’ll homiecide me?

Fiona, 11:48 am: NO

Fiona, 11:48 am: I will kill you

Dan, 11:48 am: :(

Fiona, 11:48 am: :)

Fiona, 10:43 pm: How was your day?

Fiona, 10:43 pm: Kill any homies?

Dan, 10:45 pm: No

Dan, 10:45 pm: Come over, you can be the first

Fiona, 10:45 pm: 🥺

Fiona, 10:45 pm: I’m honored

Fiona, 10:46 pm: Can I though? I crave death

Dan, 10:46 pm: oh no

Dan, 10:46 pm: why?

Fiona, 10:47 pm: I did a procrastination again

Dan, 10:47 pm: now why would you do that?

Fiona, 10:47 pm: Because I’m stupid

Dan, 10:47 pm: 😔

Dan, 10:48 pm: what have you learned from this?

Fiona, 10:48 pm: Absolutely nothing

Fiona, 10:48 pm: I will do it again

Dan, 10:48 pm: we love to hear it

Fiona, 10:49 pm: 😔 you do maybe

Dan, 10:49 pm: how are u imply that i take pleasure in the downfall of others

Fiona, 10:50 pm: YOU LITERALLY SAID IT FIRST

Fiona, 10:50 pm: YOU SAID YOU LOVED TO HEAR IT

Dan, 10:51 pm: really? that doesn’t sound like something i would say

Fiona, 10:51 pm: Stop gaslighting me

Dan, 10:52 pm: :)

Fiona, 10:52 pm: :(

Dan, 10:53 pm: go do your homework

Fiona, 10:53 pm: FINE

October 22, 2019:

Dan, 4:12 am: wake up i’m bored

Dan, 4:15 am: why can’t i sleep i hate myself

Dan, 4:20 am: haha 420 blaze it

Dan, 4:20 am: i’m kidding i don’t smoke weed

Dan, 4:20 am: i’m lame

Dan, 4:32 am: i have class at 9:30 am i’m going to die

Dan, 4:32 am: pray for me

Dan, 4:56 am: i think i’m finally tired

Dan, 4:56 am: i hate myself

Dan, 4:56 am: wait i already said that

Dan, 4:56 am: oh well

Dan, 4:56 am: good night 🖤

Fiona, 9:42 am: Oh no

Fiona, 9:42 am: Did you make it to class?

Dan, 9:44 am: im dying

Fiona, 9:46 am: Oh no

Dan, 9:50 am: i made it to class but i regret my entire existence

Fiona, 9:51 am: Oh no

Dan, 9:52 am: shut up

Dan, 9:52 am: i have never been this tired

Fiona, 9:52 am: When do you get out?

Dan, 9:55 am: 11 🤡

Fiona, 9:55 am: Why did you even go to class today holy shit

Dan, 9:57 am: I’m stupid

Fiona, 10:00 am: Can you leave?

Dan, 10:05 am: i’m already here i might as well suffer

Fiona, 10:06 am: D:

Fiona, 10:06 am: suffering bad

Dan, 10:11 am: whoa really

Dan, 10:11 am: thank you for letting me know

Fiona, 10:11 am: Of course

Dan, 10:12 am: where would i be without you

Fiona, 10:12 am: Class

Dan, 10:13 am: wait

Dan, 10:13 am: i am in class

Fiona, 10:14 am: Yeah

Fiona, 10:14 am: Without me

Dan, 10:20 am: u have a point

Fiona, 10:21 am: I have lots of points

Fiona, 10:21 am: Come hang out with me, I’ll save you from going to class at 9:30 am

Dan, 10:25 am: my hero

Fiona, 10:26 am: 🥰

Dan, 10:35 am: only 25 more minutes

Dan, 10:35 am: i can do this

Fiona, 10:36 am: Just so you know, falling asleep in class is completely valid

Dan, 10:40 am: i can make it

Dan, 10:40 am: i believe in me

Fiona, 10:41 am: Okay

Fiona, 10:41 am: Good luck!

Dan, 10:45 am: i don’t believe in me

Dan, 10:45 am: i’m dying

Fiona, 10:46 am: If I believe in you will that help

Dan, 10:47 am: no

Fiona, 10:47 am: 13 minutes, you can do it

Dan, 10:50 am: i cant

Fiona, 10:50 am: You can!

Fiona, 10:51 am: I will reward you if you do

Dan, 10:52 am: how

Fiona, 10:52 am: 😏

Dan, 10:53 am: 😳

Dan, 10:54 am: how

Fiona, 10:55 am: Live through this class and you’ll see

Dan, 10:56 am: it better not be socks or something

Fiona, 10:56 am: Oh no of course not, I would never

Fiona, 10:56 am: It’s sexual favors

Dan, 10:57 am: FIONA

Dan, 10:57 am: im in CLASS you can’t just SAY THAT

Fiona, 10:58 am: Oops

Dan, 10:59 am: i hate you so much

Fiona, 10:59 am: Shh

Fiona, 10:59 am: One more minute, you can do this

Dan, 11:00 am: don’t change the subject

Fiona, 11:00 am: Too late

Fiona, 11:00 am: Did you survive

Dan, 11:01 am: no

Dan, 11:01 am: you fucking KILLED me

Fiona, 11:02 am: Too bad

Fiona, 11:02 am: I was really looking forward to seeing you again

Dan, 11:02 am: well too bad

Dan, 11:02 am: you should’ve thought of that before you said things like that

Fiona, 11:03 am: I’m not good at thinking

Dan, 11:03 am: okay philosophy major

Fiona, 11:03 am: I never claimed to be a GOOD philosophy major

Dan, 11:04 am: …

Dan, 11:05 am: (can i have those sexual favors now or nah)

Fiona, 11:06 am: The prize was for surviving

Fiona, 11:06 am: I thought you said you died

Dan, 11:07 am: ugh

Dan, 11:07 am: i hate you

Dan, 11:07 am: i’m going to go home and take a nap

Fiona, 11:07 am: That sounds like a great idea

Fiona, 11:07 am: Sleep a lot you deserve it

Dan, 11:08 am: i will sleep so much

Dan, 11:08 am: gn

October 23, 2019:

Fiona, 7:14 pm: I did a cooking

Dan, 7:14 pm: I did too you’re not special

Fiona, 7:14 pm: Okay but did you bake cheesecake

Dan, 7:15 pm: no

Dan, 7:15 pm: did you?

Fiona, 7:15 pm: As a matter of fact, yes

Dan, 7:15 pm: can i have some

Fiona, 7:16 pm: No

Dan, 7:16 pm: :(

Dan, 7:16 pm: why’d you bake cheesecake

Fiona, 7:17 pm: Because I CAN

Fiona, 7:17 pm: idk, don’t you ever get the urge to bake cheesecake at 6pm on a Wednesday?

Dan, 7:18 pm: i have never gotten the urge to bake something in my life

Fiona, 7:18 pm: Okay, have you ever gotten the urge to *eat* cheesecake at 6pm on a Wednesday?

Dan, 7:18 pm: now we’re talking

Dan, 7:19 pm: yes ofc

Dan, 7:19 pm: are you sure i can’t have any

Fiona, 7:20 pm: Yes

Dan, 7:21 pm: :(

Dan, 7:21 pm: why not

Fiona, 7:22 pm: It’s not a large cheesecake

Fiona, 7:22 pm: … I may have eaten a large chunk of it already

Dan, 7:22 pm: and you didn’t save any for me

Fiona, 7:23 pm: I did not

Dan, 7:23 pm: i’m blocking you

Dan, 7:23 pm: never speak to me again

Fiona, 7:23 pm: D:

Fiona, 7:24 pm: but im cute

Dan, 7:25 pm: so?

Fiona, 7:26 pm: I’ll save some for you next time 🥺

Dan, 7:26 pm: really? 🥺

Fiona, 7:26 pm: yes 🥺

Dan, 7:26 pm: ok i guess i won’t block u 🥺

Fiona, 7:27 pm: 🥺

Fiona, 7:27 pm: That’s so sweet

Dan, 7:28 pm: i’m generous like that

Fiona, 7:28 pm: What would I do without you

Dan, 7:28 pm: eat more cheesecake because you wouldn’t have to save any for me probably

Fiona, 7:29 pm: When you put it like that

Fiona, 7:29 pm: Why do I even talk to you

Dan, 7:29 pm: You’re asking me??

Fiona, 7:30 pm: I guess so, yeah

Dan, 7:30 pm: um because i’m cute

Fiona, 7:30 pm: Hmmm

Fiona, 7:30 pm: Yeah, probably

Dan, 7:31 pm: cuter than cheesecake :)

Fiona, 7:31 pm: Now, I don’t know if I’d go *that* far

Dan, 7:31 pm: cuter than cheesecake :)

Fiona, 7:31 pm: … cuter than cheesecake

Dan, 7:32 pm: i’m glad we’ve come to a compromise

Fiona, 7:32 pm: I don’t think insisting that I agree with you is a compromise

Fiona, 7:32 pm: I think that’s just getting your way

Dan, 7:32 pm: it’s a compromise

Fiona, 7:32 pm: No

Dan, 7:33 pm: COMPROMISE

Fiona, 7:33 pm: FINE

Fiona, 7:33 pm: Compromise

Dan, 7:33 pm: see? another successful compromise

Fiona, 7:33 pm: … yay us

Dan, 7:34 pm: we’re doing great :)

Dan, 7:34 pm: communication is so important

Fiona, 7:34 pm: Uh huh

Fiona, 7:35 pm: I’m going to go finish my cheesecake

Dan, 7:35 pm: :(

Dan, 7:35 pm: as long as you save me some next time

Dan, 7:35 pm: see? i compromised

Fiona, 7:36 pm: Huh, I guess you did

Fiona, 7:36 pm: Good job

Dan, 7:36 pm: thank u

Dan, 7:36 pm: enjoy your cheesecake

Fiona, 7:37 pm: I will :)

October 24, 2019:

Dan, 4:09 pm: i literally can’t wait until the weekend

Dan, 4:09 pm: i want to die

Fiona, 4:15 pm: Will you stop wanting to die on the weekend

Dan, 4:16 pm: no but i’ll forget about it

Fiona, 4:16 pm: Close enough

Dan, 4:17 pm: i have written so many papers in the past week

Dan, 4:17 pm: i want to die

Fiona, 4:17 pm: Oh no

Fiona, 4:17 pm: When are you done writing papers?

Dan, 4:18 pm: never i’m an english major

Fiona, 4:18 pm: I’m so sorry

Fiona, 4:18 pm: Do you want to talk about it

Dan, 4:19 pm: … yes

Fiona, 4:20 pm: Is this a crisis about your major? I’m an expert on those

Dan, 4:20 pm: no, i love english

Dan, 4:20 pm: well i don’t really *love* anything but english is tolerable

Fiona, 4:21 pm: lol

Fiona, 4:21 pm: I think lots of people don’t *love* what they do

Fiona, 4:21 pm: There’s nothing wrong with that

Dan, 4:22 pm: I guess

Dan, 4:23 pm: do you *love* philosophy?

Fiona, 4:23 pm: idk

Fiona, 4:24 pm: I like it

Fiona, 4:25 pm: Honestly I probably won’t end up doing it long term anyway

Dan, 4:25 pm: Why not?

Fiona, 4:26 pm: Not a lot of people get paid to sit around and ponder the mysteries of life

Fiona, 4:26 pm: Unless you go into academia I guess and ick, that’s so much grad school

Dan, 4:27 pm: yeah i guess not

Dan, 4:27 pm: people don’t really get paid to sit around an analyze literature a lot either, do they?

Fiona, 4:27 pm: idk

Fiona, 4:28 pm: Do they?

Dan, 4:28 pm: i feel like probably not

Dan, 4:28 pm: should’ve paid more attention in english 100 lol i think they talked about that

Fiona, 4:29 pm: We all should’ve paid more attention in our orientation classes yet here we are

Fiona, 4:29 pm: Worst comes to worst I’ll just use my CS minor for something

Dan, 4:30 pm: you’re getting a CS minor?

Fiona, 4:30 pm: I had already finished like half the required classes when I switched to philosophy so why not?

Fiona, 4:31 pm: Also it was one of my parents’ requirements for letting me switch but we don’t talk about that

Dan, 4:32 pm: lol

Dan, 4:32 pm: unfortunately i don’t have a cs minor to fall back on

Fiona, 4:33 pm: It’s not too late to get one :P

Dan, 4:33 pm: no thank u!

Fiona, 4:34 pm: aww

Fiona, 4:35 pm: too bad

Dan, 4:35 pm: i am not willing to stoop to doing math to appease capitalism

Fiona, 4:35 pm: lol, have it your way

Fiona, 4:35 pm: English is a good degree, you’ll be fine

Fiona, 4:36 pm: Besides, you have a few years to figure things out

Dan, 4:36 pm: this is true!

Dan, 4:36 pm: i’m going to go forget about my problems and procrastinate dealing with them

Fiona, 4:36 pm: have fun <3

Dan, 4:37 pm: i will!

October 25, 2019:

Dan, 11:24 am: college is stupid

Dan, 11:24 am:

Fiona, 11:26 am: You can still do that now if you really want

Dan, 11:26 am: it’s not the same

Dan, 11:26 am: you live with the constant fear of someone catching you

Fiona, 11:27 am: Okay but you admit that you *could*

Fiona, 11:27 am: You’re just a coward

Dan, 11:28 am: excuse me

Dan, 11:28 am: what did you just say to me

Dan, 11:28 am: i’ll fight you

Fiona, 11:29 am: Okay

Fiona, 11:29 am: To the death or just to giving up?

Dan: 11:29 am: i’d die before i’d give up

Fiona, 11:30 am: Death it is

Fiona, 11:30 am: It’s been nice knowing you

Dan, 11:31 am: you too

Dan, 11:31 am: okay bye i have to go write a paper

Dan, 11:31 am: it was nice talking to you

Fiona, 11:32 am: :(

Fiona, 11:32 am: It was nice talking to you too

Fiona, 11:32 am: Write fast and then return to me

Dan, 11:33 am: ofc <3

Fiona, 11:33 am: <3

October 26, 2019:

Fiona, 9:51 pm: Any fun plans this weekend

Dan, 9:55 pm: Writing more papers lmao

Dan, 9:55 pm: wbu?

Fiona, 9:56 pm: aww :(

Fiona, 9:56 pm: Same I guess, mostly just homework

Fiona, 9:56 pm: 😔

Dan, 9:57 pm: honestly

Dan, 9:57 pm: fuck homework

Dan, 9:58 pm: will you run away to the woods with me

Fiona, 9:59 pm: 😳

Fiona, 10:00 pm: That’s kinda gay

Dan, 10:01 pm: no it’s not

Dan, 10:02 pm: we will live in a cottage with two bedrooms

Fiona, 10:03 pm: But that’s less fun

Dan, 10:05 pm: 😳

Dan, 10:06 pm: that’s kinda gay

Fiona, 10:07 pm: I’m kinda gay

Dan, 10:08 pm: 😳

Fiona, 10:08 pm: 😏

Fiona, 10:11 pm: Can we move to the woods after I finish this paper

Dan, 10:12 pm: no sorry i’m leaving right now

Fiona, 10:13 pm: Oh well :( I’ll try to visit

Dan, 10:14 pm: thank you

Dan, 10:14 pm: just let me know when you’re visiting and i will make you the most mediocre stir fry you’ve ever had

Fiona, 10:15 pm: lmao sounds good

Fiona, 10:15 pm: I have to go work on my paper now :( but I will visit your cottage in the woods as soon as possible

Dan, 10:16 pm: appreciated

Dan, 10:16 pm: good luck on your paper!

Fiona, 10:16 pm: good luck on your move to the woods!

#phanfic #my writing #phanfiction

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surveysonfleek · 6 years

Text

726.

1. What color does your hair look like when it’s wet? black.

2. Do you remember the date of your prom? i didn’t have a date since we weren’t allowed to bring people outside of our school.

3. Was your last kiss long and sensual or short and sweet? Why’s that? short and sweet, it was a goodbye kiss.

4. When kissing, do you like to be on top or bottom? i’m usually on the bottom i think. i don’t know why lol.

5. Do you think your boyfriend really loves you or is he just saying it? he does love me.

6. My boyfriend used to tell me he loved me several times a day..now he doesn’t even say it when I tell him I love him..do you think something is going on? yep.

7. Is it time to clean your cat litter box(assuming you have a cat)? i don’t have a cat.

8. By cat litter box, I mean your vagina? lol it’s clean.

9. Basically, are you clean? ^

10. Why are most surveys made just for girls(with questions about boobs, lipstick, boyfriends, etc)? to be fair most of the survey takers i’ve seen are girls but a lot of the questions are interchangeable with any gender anyway.

11. Oh well, this survey’s for girls, do you wear dark lipstick? i love dark lipstick but for some reason i tend to wear it in winter only.

12. Do you own any red high heels? nope.

13. Can you even walk in high heels? i can but i hate heels in general.

14. Do you have any make-up on right now? no.

15. What are your measurements? no idea, i’ve actually never measured myself properly.

16. Does your boyfriend/husband know what size your boobs are? yes.

17. He should so he can buy you sexy lingerie, right? ;] he has before but not in forever.

18. If you wear glasses, do you have those little disposable lens wipes to clean them with? nope. they’d be handy.

19. Of if you have contacts, are they coloured? i have contacts and no, they’re not coloured.

20. Have you ever fallen asleep with your contacts in and then woke up to them basically sticking to your eyeballs and your vision is all fuzzy? never fallen asleep with them on. too paranoid.

21. Do you have hair extensions or do you think those are strictly for the scene kids? i don’t have extensions and i don’t think they’re for scene kids. scene is dead lol.

22. Am I scene for saying, “kids” in the last question? no.

23. List all the things you have from your boyfriend at your house right now? his cap, socks, clothes even. honestly not many things because i hate it when he leaves his shit here lol.

24. Do you feel uncomfortable when crossing busy streets? not if the pedestrian sign is green. still need to be cautious though.

25. Last time you exercised and for how long? last week for an hour.

26. Have you ever worn guys’ Nike shorts? no.

27. How does your hair look/smell right now? it’s probably dirty but up in a ponytail. smells like hair product.

28. Last girl who called you hot/sexy/something else of the sort? i forgot lol.

29. Was she hitting on you? no.

30. Last guy who called you hot/sexy/something else of the sort? some guy at work randomly called me beautiful. that never happens.

31. Was HE hitting on you? i don’t think so.

32. If you got a pet today, what would you name it? depends on what it is, male/female and personality.

33. Have you ever taken the 5,000 question survey? yes, i think i still have five more sections before i finish it.

34. They say sneezes are like miniature orgasms…do you agree with that? no lol.

35. Do you think a virgin would enjoy getting fondled more than a person who has had sex multiple times? depends on the individual but i think a virgin would enjoy it more as it’s a lead up to sex i guess.

36. Does wearing long sleeve shirts irritate you? i don’t own many tbh.

37. Last nice restaurant you went to? it’s been awhile, haven’t been to anything overly nice in awhile.

38. Who were you with, what did you order, and how much was it? idk.

39. What would you do if your boyfriend/husband got drafted into war tomorrow? i’d be shocked and sad. it’s been nearly a century since people have been drafted to go to war in my country.

40. Does the smell of vinegar make you feel like you’re going to throw up or do you like it? i don’t like it but i’m not repulsed by it either.

41. Do you know anyone who has committed suicide? yes.

42. If you do and you don’t mind me asking, how did they go? they hung themselves.

43. Do you think it’s unladylike for a woman to say, “fuck”? it’s a bit ratchet to near someone saying it excessively no matter what gender you are. it’s fine if you’re just within your group of friends though.

44. Are any of your friends upset about anything right now? not sure.

45. Have you ever attended a high school Homecoming dance and football game? Who was your date? no.

46. When you have a rubber band and you’re around someone, do you feel the urge to pop them with it? no lol.

48. Has a guy ever touched your butt without permission? If so, how did this make you feel? yeah but it was just my boyfriend. i’ve never had a random person do it.

49. How many formal dresses do you own? Sun-dresses? i own way more sun dresses than formal dresses. my closet is full of them.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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lunar-court · 7 years

Text

I just want to talk to someone maybe

tw: depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts/suicide mention, idk what else

I just full out vented to a rich text document like it was a person so if anyone feels like reading and idk has any advice?? That would be wonderful.

Alright, so I suppose this is some kind of self-vent document. I dunno. I just have this urge to hurt myself. I want to cut my arm. In my head it almost makes sense; it's a punishment for missing my classes. I've missed 30 consecutive classes now, so I deserve 30 cuts. I've done 12 so far. I also want to cut myself because I don't think anyone has noticed- or if they have, they didn't care enough to speak up, and if they do care they're quiet about it. I feel like if I cut then it'll prove some kind of point. It'll make them realize that them being quiet won't stop me. And I feel like it would push them to try and do something. I'm afraid if I go down this path, though, that I'll soon make an attempt on my own life. It's not uncommon for me to feel suicidal. I feel that way all the time, more so recently, but usually for very stupid reasons, like not getting a perfect grade or making a social blunder. Even struggling with math makes me want to kill myself, and contemplate suicide. But I never act on it. Ever. Because I am afraid of pain. Or I used to. Since I tried cutting for the first time and experienced dizzying, naueseating euphoria, I've found that the pain isn't that bad. This is terrifying because being afraid and hating pain was my main defense against these thoughts, especially when I wanted to act on them. I would think "But it'll hurt like hell" and that would be enough to make me stop and wallow until I felt better. Now? I have nothing but my own thoughts to try and keep myself from acting on this shit. It doesn't help that I felt proud of myself for cutting the first time. Hell, I've only done it twice- 3 cuts the first time, 9 the second, and the second just made me feel miserable because of how easy it was and because I got 0 emotional payoff. But that first time was intoxicating, and it was the best I'd felt in two weeks. Maybe I'm just trying to find something that feels good. That doesn't feel numb or alternatively absolutely horrid. I tried dancing the other day. I usually do that when I feel bad because the high of the adrenaline and whatever else is released I forget what it's called makes me feel much better. And mentally, I get to escape. I'm still stuck on Loki when it comes to my fantasies: lengthy music video type deals in my head, montages of stories that could be. All it did was provide a temporary distraction before I felt shitty for even TRYING. Anyways. I'm pretty sure most of my suicidal ideation comes from imperfection. I just cannot accept imperfections in certain aspects of my life, especially school and basic responsibilities. If I'm not taking care of everything perfectly, then I must not be trying hard enough, and I should just give up. And if I give up, then I'm a piece of shit who can't even try to get things done, and I should die. If I keep going at it, then I'm a piece of shit for not knowing when I need to just stop before I fuck everything up or continue fucking everything up, and I should die. Social things fuck me up too, mostly getting yelled at or even yelled near (makes me feel subhuman and wish for death, as well as highlighting my imperfections), or people at all not wanting me around (makes me feel like they hate me and therefore everyone secretly hates me, and I should die). Even someone snapping and apologizing destroys me emotionally. I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to talk, because I am clearly annoying them and everyone else I know. I remember every fuck up I've had socially. This and my responisbility imperfections make me selfconcious about my weight, and I end up believing I should not be allowed to eat, because I am a fat pig. Then I fast and get very hungry and end up binge-eating instead until I feel ill. Sigh. There's also this weird thing where I can tell when I've decided to do something prior to doing it and I try to change my own mind, but I generally can't. Like before I cut: I felt the decision snap into place but still "hid" from the knife on the couch, until I was so tired I couldn't focus on it too much and could get to my bed. I slept and woke up and the decision was still final to me it seemed. And I was emotionally numb. I didn't care anymore, so I didn't resist, and went with what had been predetermined. It's like this with so much! All my homework, all my social interactions; at least 5 minutes before it seems like I've decided, and then internally debate a debate that doesn't matter. It just puts off the inevitable. I don't get it! It doesn't make sense! I am me, and I should be able to control these urges and my body and easily change my choices! But I can't! This corner of my mind comes to a decision that my brain doesn't even have to think of with words and I just feel it and know what it is and I argue it with myself and it doesn't! Change! ARGH! What even is that called? Why am I like this? Is it normal, or am I still overanalyzing my life?

#mental health #depression #self-harm #suicide #tw: suicide mention #tw: suicide #tw: self-harm #tw: depression #my life problems guys #actuallymentallyill #actuallydepressed #actuallyanxious #actuallysuicidal #suicidal #depressing thoughts

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deliciousstrawberryperson · 7 years

Text

Jimin~ Past

Summary: A girl named Anastasia who ran from her family. Why? That’s a whole other story.

Length: 5.5k Part 1.

Ana’s p. o. v

“MinieMi? It’s time!” I called knocking on his door. “Ji?” I called knocking again. He didn’t reply at all. Is he jacking off? What if he went to shit? He poops when he’s nervous. I suck in a deep breath and walk in. Yep he was jacking off. Idk why but everytime I always end up frozen. My skin was looking the same but I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. Hearing his supressed moans and seeing him made me cream. Fuck. The contract. I slap myself hard and turn to leave. “Ana. I… Need you.” He says. I froze. MinieMi was my first bias in BTS. I ignored his hot pleas. I closed his door and took out my key locking his room. I was huffing trying to clear my mind of the image. No such thing occured. I was wet and stood there zoned out and huffing like a dog in heat. Kookie saw me and asked, “Ana are you okay?” I nod. “You caught him again didn’t you?” RapMon chimmed in. “N-n-no of course n-not!”

Rap Mon smirked at me and I just chuckled awkwardly excusing myself. Fuck. I need this out of my mind. I need to focus. I chugged a bottle water. “MinMin.” Jin whispered teasing me. I choked spiting water out. I held my throat. “You can’t do that J!” I shouted still coughing. The three boys laughed at me. Suga woke up angrily and asked, “What’s this racket about?” I shook my head. I was constantly zoning out. “He got caught didn’t he?” He yawned blinking. “Of course he did.” Jin said smirking. “Excuse me I’m going to the washroom.” I say occasionally coughing. I sat on the seat peeing. I felt hot. I can’t fuck up even once. He’s a demanding one. I have to resist the urge to knock him in the head. My clit was throbbing. I teased myself by inserting my fingers and pumping a few times. I was going to stop but… I couldn’t. “Ana. I… Need you.” I was huffing trying to cough it out. But i ended up just biting my tongue and squeezing my breasts. Fuck. I had razor sharp nipples! They saw it poking out?! Embarrassed for life. I heard someone open the door. I got shocked and that helped me stop. Why did masturbation feel so good all of a sudden? “Namjoon. You’re not allowed in here.” Suga says. Lol. I am now flushed and my nipples are harder than before. I flush the toilet putting on my jacket. Hot. It’s so hot. I immediately start sweating. “Ana? Jimin’s ready.” Suga says. I gulp. Slapping myself a few times. I sigh. Serious mode. I grabbed my beats from around my neck and put it on my ears. I walk out looking flushed but fuck it I don’t care. I grab my ballet flats from my bag. Lol. I dance too.

I pull back my bangs and grab the supplies going to his room. I sigh many times. He was looking… H- Normal! He was looking Normal!!! I was forcing myself to act normal but Rapmon who already had his makeup done was watching. I was shaking.

Jimin looked at me. He looked so soft almost pouting. Cuuuuuuuttttteeeee! I giggle a little and get started.

*2 hours after*

He was done and he was peacefully asleep. I left him to sit on the same couch… I flew up and walked out the door. Well I’m done. I just need his hair supplies so I can do his hair. TaeTae sat next to MinieMi. “Ana! Do me too my makeup artist is sick.” Tae says being cute then watching me with lustful eyes. I chuckle awkwardly as I feel myself get wet. J and Kookie join RapMon on the table. MinieMi still sitting there sleeping. I do TaeTae’s makeup in no time. I move on to Tae’s hair. It didn’t take me long. “MinieMi?” I call softly poking his cheek softly. I felt myself get lightheaded. The roomed warped and I was stumbling. I rest the curling iron on the counter. Sitting on the ground below. “Ana! Watch out!” Rapmon called. It was too late it fell on my cheek burning it. I took off the curling iron trying to gently pull it off my skin. My skin came out with it. I wanted to cry but they need their hair done. I was still lightheaded and in pain. I ran out and got Christen’s curling iron. Before he can question me I run off. I got back to the room stuffing a chocolate in my mouth. It hurt to chew at all but the next side hurt more. I started MinMin’s hair. They were pleading with me to go to the hospital. I’ll go after their concert. I was almost finished with his flawless hair and I was less light-headed. A few times tears runned down my face and I just flicked it away. It was serevely burnt but I need to finish. In about 2 hours I was done. “Ana are you finished?” Taehyung asked. I nodded slowly. Taehyung dragged me and RapMon pushed me out the room. “But-” I mumbled hissing. “No buts.” RapMon scolded me. “I agree.” Suga said walking up to us. He was already dressed and some them were already dressed as well. They were carrying me to the hospital? But there’s only 30 minutes til the concert starts!

“No. You can’t come.” I tugged away from them. “You have 30 minutes. I’ll go alone.” I say lying through my teeth. “Yea right. Knowing you, you’ll go home and deal with it yourself. And this needs to be treated properly.” RapMon says. “It’s my own fault. I forgot to eat.” They got more worried. “Not again. Ana. You need to eat to live.” Suga says. “With all the mess I forgot to eat.” I said. Fuck. This hurts so much. “The crew members are gonna pull you away soon. Just wait.” I tried tugging away from the 3 boys but they won’t let me. I suppose I should be glad they care. “They’ll cancel and hold it tomorrow.” Suga says. They’ll be pissed. Soon the other dressed boys catch up with me. “Ana!” MinieMi calls. “Oh my God. What happened.” Jimin asks. They boys watch him annoyed. “You slept through the whole thing!” Jin quarrelled. MOMMA Jin at it again. “Ana. You need to eat.” Jin demands. “I know I know. It’s just that as a prima ballera or a rookie one my weight needs to stay constant and my body has a problem regulating everything.” I mutter the last two words.

“I really did forget. Practice today from 2-6:30 then rush here and organise everything. And not to mention the other things, I just forgot.” Fuck. My hands start to sweat. Taehyung watched me worriedly. “I-I’m good.” He knows my palms sweat when I have anxiety. They climb into the van. 5 minutes to show time. Luckily the fans didn’t see us. RapMon and Suga in front. I can never be a ballerina again. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. They were watching me carefully, making sure everything was fine. “Don’t think about it Ana. It was an accident. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.” Jin says softly. “Maybe you’re right.” I whispered back. RapMon drove the van to the hospital. Showtime and they can’t find the boys, who all left their phones in their dressing rooms. I giggled a little still bitter. As a rookie my skin must be flawless and next week is our performance. I’ll never dance again. My ankle’s still sprained that they don’t know. If they did they’d be mad. Really mad.

I’m like the little kid and they’re my parents. Well maybe just Jin. Technically everybody except Kookie and MinieMi is my elder. We arrived and I had to wait. They called my name and all of them filled in the info. After about 2 hours we were done. I’ll never dance again. My life couldn’t get any worse. My scars will remain. Heavy makeup isn’t allowed. They condone the natural look.

I had this bandage on my face and I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to burst into tears. Kookie hugged me from behind tightly. I bit my tongue. I reluctantly loosened his arms. “I’m good Kookie. Let’s go back and I’ll explain to management.” I say climbing in. They gave me multiple pain killers.

*at the auditorium*

I walk in and are met by angry staff. “I can explain-” the security tugged me towards management. “My face.” I say. They insulted me a bunch and then ended my contract. I don’t have the money to sue. I’m still in university. I walked out and was enveloped in a group hug. “Since it’s cancelled let’s have a fun day.” I see they changed back. “I just want to go home, clean and sleep.” I say. They watched me worriedly. They don’t trust me home alone right now. I understand. “If that’s what you want we’re coming along.” I shrugged. They used the van and drove to my home. I walked up the stairs in my old apartment building. We arrive and the place is a mess. I toss my bags on the floor along with my shoes I was about to grab my cigarette pack. “Ana…” Jin looks at me hands on his hips with a serious face. I sigh tossing it in the trash. I turn on the stereo and it plays pop music. I start with the kitchen and disinfect the counters and such. I vacuumed and swept and mopped. While that was drying I vacuumed the carpet. And cleared up my old ballet shoes pile. Since I’ll never dance again I’ll just get rid of it. I toss my clothes in the washing machine and clean out the bathtub. I go into my room leaving the door open and vacuum tossing dirty clothes in the hamper and reorganising. I rehang my clean clothes on the hangers. Sounds like I did that in one go didn’t it? I didn’t. I cooked food, fed my cat and she went by the boys after eating her belly full. I then cleaned the toilet, dried the washed clothes and hung it on hangers. I popped popcorn and the boys sat with my huge ass dvd collection. ¾ of it was anime. ½ hentai. The other ¾ was movies and korean dramas. I told them not to touch the hentai. I see Kookie walked to my Manga collection and MinieMi was looking at my books. I collapsed on the carpet just wishing to sleep. Everything was clean. I was crying. I laughed getting up pulling out my stash of alcohol. I created a strong mixture and toasting, “Cheers to fucking destiny!” I downed it. Fuck it always burned like a bitch. I sat on Kookie’s lap laying on RapMon’s and Hobi’s lap. In a few minutes everything was blurring. “Jin get the bin!” Hobi said. Each one of them shares one my secrets. So if they all gather everything They’ll piece together my not so nice life. They’re scared to do that. ….😴😴😴

“Don’t touch me!” I screamed. He just kept ramming himself into me. My virginity… Gone. He covered my mouth. “You do what I tell you to.” He looked at me with those eyes.

“NO!!!” I screamed. I flew up. Fuck, why? Why remember that? I only woke up Suga and he sat up rubbing his eyes eyeing me. I got up and sat in my dark bedroom corner trembling. I can’t help the shaking. I hug my knees remembering his face and his filthy hands on me. How he broke my spirit. I can’t… I got up to go back outside. The chocolate… Suga pushed me on the wall both his hands beside my head. “Talk to me Ana.” He says seriously. I turned away. “I-I c-cant…” I stammered. He turned my face to his holding my chin up to look at him. “I’m not forcing you. But I can’t do anything if I don’t know what’s wrong.” I need a distraction. Forgave me Suga. I entwined our lips. I pulled back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.” I say walking off to the kitchen. He grabbed me. “Ana. I don’t know what you’re going through but… I can offer to be your best distraction. I’m not good at comforting people…” He says looking into my eyes. “I refuse to lead you on. I didn’t want any of you to be led on but it keeps happening!” I say frustrated.

“You’re nothing but a failure! You’re a disgrace to this family!” Hit after hit I felt more pain in my heart than I’d ever feel outside my body.

“I’m sorry.” I apologise. “You expect us to send you to college. What could you possibly do as a ballet dancer for this family?! Uselese bitch!” My mum threw the laptop at me.

I just can’t. The boys had woken up. I sat there leaning on the fridge my worst moments being forced into my thoughts. I was shaking and sniffing rocking back and forth. There were only two who knew. I… My body isn’t responding to me! Why! Kookie and Jin saw me leaning there shaking and crying. Kookie rushed over trying to calm me telling me to breathe and Jin ran out of the appartment, Jimin caught on and rushed to me lifting me up bridal style rushing down the stairs. Kookie was rushing after us. How did MinMin know? I’m cold. We reached the van and Kookie wrapped me up with the blanket. “Did you dream it again?”

I try to say something. “Y… Ye.. Yes.” I forced. Even my tongue was heavy. The boys got in the van and Jin began to explain. No no no! “Jin stop! Don’t make me relive it again!” I cried hugging onto Jimin tightly. He ran his hands through my hair hugging me back. I did tell him didn’t I? Yep I did. I had calmed down. I don’t know why but after all the anxiety is gone I get horny as hell. I try to stop hugging Jimin unnoticably. He whispered, “If you want I’ll grant you that favour.” It was almost below inaudible. “Thanks but…” I whisper back. “I get it.” He responds. He sounded hurt even. But I can’t the contrac- wait a minute. I’M FIRED! I start to hyperventilate. No! No! No! How am I- “Shhhhh. We’ll fix it.” He says holding me. “How could you fix that?!” I exclaim panicking. “Jin stop!” I exclaim pulling the door open my hair being pulled back by Suga. I emptied the contents of my stomach onto the road. It was 3:00 am. I wiped my mouth on the sweater. I took it off leaving it with the vomit. I rush into Jimin’s arms. I’m not even wearing a bra but he’s warm. “He’s sooo warm.” He hugged me regardless and I felt so cosy. My hands was freezing. I put them under his sweater. He moaned. Everyone stopped and looked at me. “Are you doing more than hugging over there?” Jin asked. “My hands were cold so I touched his arms to gain heat.” I say. They watch me smirking. “Mhmmm.” RapMon and Taehyung said. I laugh. When everybody stopped paying attention I ran my hand down his torso. He gasped softly. I was being naughty. I refused his favour but now I’m teasing him. My hand glided over his sweats easily. That huge bulge! Fuck! It’s bigger than I thought! He huffed biting his lips. “You said no why the change of heart?” He asked smiling. I’m acting hella bipolar. But hell ya I want him now. “Nothing changed sweetheart.” I whispered seductively. “Except that contract and my confidence.” I continued. I grabbed him rubbing up and down. We had a window so no one could see shit. He was suppressing his moans. It was hot. I was hot. I moved his hand to my pussy. Fuck I can’t. I want to kiss him but my mouth stinks. He rubbed my clit softly. I bit my tongue. He kept at it and I was in heat. I couldn’t take it. I climbed onto him. He rubbed his bulge on me. I try to look normal. Covering my mouth with the blanket and closing my eyes. I pushed my hips towards his as he was pushing against my entrance. I grabbed his sweater tight. He continued. I was riding him. Fuck. It’s so hot. My eyes were looking at Hobi. I tried but I couldn’t help but let them roll to the back of my head. I could see Suga and RapMon look at me silently questioning my wanky behavious. I put my index finger on my lips shushing them. I bit my lips trying to stop myself from looking hornier than I was. His hands in my underwear squeezing my ass. This boy! They watch me gulping and averting their eyes. I gave them a thumbs up as I was approaching my climax. His dick was actually out and he only let the head enter me. I ended up going straight down on him. He huffs sharply into the blanket as he bit it harshly. As I orgasmed I could see their faces in shock. Soon van stops and we are flushed as fuck! Just a little more… I just a few more thrusts to finish! Damn it! Damn it all!

We arrive at the hotel and Jimin hides his bulge with the blanket. Kookie and Tae ran in cuddling too. “You’re coming with me.” Jin pulled me to his room. RapMon was alone. Jin was also alone. Jin closed his door and started quarrelling, “Why were you molesting him?” I put my hands between my legs rubbing them together not being able to concentrate. “Jin you can’t talk to me in this state…” He held his nose bridge shaking his head. I get up and watch out my mouth with listorine. “Jin tonight we’re getting this out of our systems. Since I will never dance again and I’m a broke college student I might as well go back to hell.” I said despairing. “No! I will not allow you to go back there!” He says hugging me. He sighs heavily. “Fine just tonight. We’ll cover for you.” I nod smiling. “Don’t tell the others.” I rush into MinMin’s room.

I sat on his lap kissing him hard. “Look at what you’ve done.” Jimin whispered sexily. The moaning started and Kookie ran out of there. He rubbed his hips against me aggressively. Fuck. I can’t. “Uh!” He sucked my neck placing hickees. We lay down and he pulls my underwear down. He shoved it in. “Fuck!!!” I can’t. I kiss Jimin roughly and passionately. I bit my lips but couldn’t manage to hold back as he pounded into me. Why does this feel so good! I’m so wet and creamy. He kissed me again going deeper! Fuck! “Uh! Ah! Ah!” I exclaimed. He changed position. He made my back face him and was rubbing my clit while fucking me. “Uh! No! Fuck! Haaaaaa…” I moan in absolute heat. “Ana…” He moans my name. He then pulls out and changes again to missionary. When he pushes back in he rubs my gspot. Fuck not them both. “Jimin! No! Not that spot!” I was loosing my mind. We were staring into each others soul. He was moaning hard and I was yelling his name as I was about to cum. “Fuck! Don’t squeeze me so hard!” He begs. “Ahhhhh!” He groans harshly inhaling. “So close…” I mutter. My mind’s going blank. “Jimin… Ah…” I moan my tongue outside my mouth and my eyes rolling back. Fuck! fuck! fuck! He went deep the last few times. Fuck! “Don’t stop!” This orgasm! “Ahahhh! Ahhhhhhaaaaa! Fuck! I can’t! Uhhh!” I came squeezing Jimin dry. MinMin was huffing along with me and sweating profusely. “Round two.” I moaned pushing my hips against his. “Wait! Give me a cha-! Ahhh! FUCK ANA!!!” He exclaims moaning agressively. He pushed forward eventually. I can’t! Fuck I’m cumming again! I never cum so fast! Fuck! Jimin can’t keep up! “FUCK! IT FEELS SO FUCKING GREAT!” He moans. “It feels like my dick’s being sucked dry!” He emptied himself inside me once more. The moaning was loud as hell. We were going at it like animals. Fuck my clit… “MinMin you’re gonna have to… ” I trail off thinking he got the point. He tossed his sweater and went down on me. “Fuck! Ah! Shit! Ahaa! Uh! Fuck me!” I pressed his head to my clit. He kept sucking. “Fuck Ana you’re making me hard…” He says giving me those unfocused eyes once more. “Fuck me! Please!” I beg. He slid in once again deeply. Doggy style fuck. It hadn’t even been 5 minutes and I was about to combust. “Fuck! Everytime I try to pull out you’re clinging to me!” He exclaims cumming again its so much. I’m so tired. I could go again but I’m too tired. MinMin carried us to the bed and we slept naked.

…..

I woke up. I got up and looked into the mirror. Naked? I look to the bed to see Jimin butt naked and I was not shocked. I knew it’d happen again eventually. But the after math called a relationship… I didn’t want to deal with. Grabbing his sweater from yesterday and threw it on leaving to go by daddy RapMon. Lol. I opened the door and crawled in bed with him. He embraced me opening one eye chuckling. “Momma Jin would’ve quarrelled.” I say. He chuckled again. “He’s actually nice in the morning.” He responds. “Wanna talk about it again?” He asks sitting up. I hug him again. I like the embrace. All members know this by now. He hugs me. “I don’t want a relationship Namjoon. Not a romantic one. All that ever does is leave me broken. Why would I ever want that again? Besides I don’t know how I feel or how to feel.” Jin opens the door walking in. “Really?! Last night said otherwise.” He states sitting on the bed arms folded. “That was just sex! It’s got nothing to do with anything else…” I trail off. “I hear yuh.” He says laughing going back. This jacket smells like him. It’s so warm. “So you’re saying sex like that doesn’t mean anything?” RapMon asks. I think I know where this is going. “No. It doesn’t.” I say. He turns my face to his. Fuck, I knew it. “Would it then become a problem if I kissed you?” He asks smirking. “My brain would become more confused.” I say. He actually kissed me! His lips, so soft. And it was passionate. I wanted to give into this soft temptation. I couldn’t manage to refuse this pleasure. “Wait… Namjoon…” I said softly. “Stop. This isn’t the way to go about this.” I said a little louder. He continued his sweet assault of my body. Giving me more hickeys to go home with. His hand squeezed my breast gently. His other hand slid between my legs. My clit’s extremely sensitive today after Jimin’s assault. “Ana, I’ve liked you longer than Jimin so why? You knew it too. Why did he get you first?” He asked touching my clit. I began loosing myself again. I can’t… My hips buck but I try to keep them still. I can’t refuse. No! Don’t touch it directly! I held my moans back surprisingly. It wasn’t long before I was a coming mess. With my pussy itself dripping with my cum I know he was tempted to dive in. “I don’t know myself. I’m sorry.” I kissed his lips getting up off of his bed. I don’t want to talk about it. Suga would be the most honest. But I just can’t. I need one of Jin’s pants, Kookie’s shoes and I’m going home. I don’t care that my hair is a mess. I don’t care that Jimin and Namjoon’s hickees and love bites are on my neck and body. I just wanna go home. I push Jin’s door open and saw no trace of him. “Yes!” Jin closed the door and the five other members appear. I can’t take it. I slide down the door as panic and fear races through my system. My head was spinning, my heart was racing, I was crying, I let out a scream and I couldn’t hear anymore. I couldn’t see anything either.

BTS members p. o. v

She walked into Jin’s room like he said she would. Then he closed the door. She knew we were all here. We stepped out ready to talk to her. She slid down the door and screamed. Oh no. Fuck!

JK* I rushed to her. She was unconscious. “Call an ambulance.” I said. I felt for a pulse and her heartbeat was soft. It was regular now. 2 beats per second. I sighed. Her smell is intoxicating. I didn’t mean to but… I hadn’t even realised it happened but I got hard. I guess we did overwhelm her. Why did we all confront her knowing about her anxiety level being extremely high this morning? Why? It’s our fault. I can’t help this feeling of enormous envy. I wanted her to ravish me. I wanted to devour her body like he did. The ambulance arrived in five minutes and they took her. We followed them. We should definitely piece together her life.

SG*

Her smell. It got me harder. Morning wood is annoying as hell believe me. I’m either silent or cold towards her. I don’t know how to tell her I like her and I want to date her. I mean the rest of the band is fighting for her too. And Jin, Namjoon and Jimin have a good shot with her. Those are her rocks. They know more than any of us. There are some things they still don’t know but we do. Jimin and her had sex last night. I was out in the hall trying to write a song to tell her and I heard them. Other people were complaining about the music Jin and Namjoon were playing. But it’d be worse to hear someone having sex wouldn’t it? It made me so mad to think that I’m not the one giving it to her. I finished the song. I want her to rap with me again and write more songs. But what sense would it make if she’s unwell again? I think we should put her life story together.

JN*

Her smell. I had to run from RapMon’s room otherwise I would have touched her. Believe me I wanted to a few minutes ago. It fucking hurt to cover for her last night. I still heard her moans. I still heard her pleas for more. I was to supposed to be the one she begs. She… Fuck. Why didn’t I tell her before how I feel? I can hear him enjoy her. I want her all to myself and no one else to have her. I want to be the one she cuddles with when she’s cold. The one she sings with. I need to know what happened.

JM*

It took us so long to give into each other. We were stubborn. I was. I would piss her off and tease her. But in reality I was jealous she didn’t interact like that with me. I wanted her to whisper in my ear and make me flustered like she does with Kookie. I wanted her to flop herself on my lap like she does with Namjoon and Jin. I want her to cling onto me like she does with Suga. She does so many things to Suga, with Suga… I want to know everything.

TH*

Her scent. I could smell her strong pheromones perfarate through the room. It made me feel like an animal. I wanted to jump on her instantly. She always sung with me. Teasing me. Treating me cutely. The only time she ever took me seriously is…

[Flashback]

I jammed her against the wall, holding her wrists on the wall. “Stop treating me like a child Ana. I’m a man. I can’t suppress myself if you keep treating me like this…” I kissed her. I actually did it. It became heated and I kissed her faster and a bit harder. She futher encouraged it by hooking her leg on my waist pushing me against her. My hips was moving on it’s own. She moaned out. “Taehyung don’t you’ll make me-” I couldn’t stop! Her moans turned me on. “Fuck! Taehyung if you don’t stop… You’ll make me cum!” She whispered harshly, grabbing my ass to stop me. I wanted to see her cum. I wanted to see her wet… I continued and soon enough she did cum her face was beautiful. “Don’t tell anyone Taehyung, the contract…” She begged. “Can I kiss you one last time?” I asked. “Yes.” She replied.

I had to suppress myself from that day on and Jimin gets to dig in?! No way! I need to know what caused her to stop and I know it’s not the contract.

*JH

I’m sure I’m not the only one experiencing this but her smell… It’s done something to make us all hard. No wonder Jimin’s still knocked out from last night.

[Flashback]

It was after dance practice and Suga allowed us to borrow the studio for the evening. We were singing. I was singing this song I made for her.

🎤I can see it in your eyes

Those lies roll off your tongue

“You’re okay!” I’m okay

But Today…

Imma make you scream my name. 🎵

She kissed me. Hard. I was a little shocked at first but returned the pressure. I pulled her by the waist. I turned the mic off jamming her on the table. “Hobi…” She said catching her breath. “Ana. You know that’s not fair.” I was hard. “Hobi… I want you too.” She said pulling down her underwear. Wait… We’re really doing this… “Ana…” I moaned. The thought sent pleasure through me. She began unbuckling my belt. “Ana? Suga might pass by!” I whisper sharply. She grabbed me jocking up and down. “Fuck Ana. Are you trying to make me ravage you?” I growl. I huff feeling good. *Kimouchiii. I stopped her hands becoming more aggressive. I moved her legs to my shoulders. “Hobi wait!” She exclaimed. I slid in huffing. She moaned hard. I leaned closer, she held my face connecting our lips once again. I bit her lips softly. She sucked my tongue. Fuck! I was even more aggressive. I returned the favour. Her hands in my hair she pulled softly. I pounded into her hitting her deep. “Hobi! Uh! Please! Please… Convince me more.” She begged. I twisted her. I hit her from the back. Fuck! “Ahhhh!” I moaned she squeezed me hard. “Ahhhhh! Ah! Uh! Fuck!” Her hips were doing their own thing. I had to hold her hips back because she was about to make me cum. Fuck! She came. So tight! “Uhhhahhhaa!” I couldn’t hold anymore. “Uh! Don’t stop! Orgasm!” She exclaimed. I don’t know if I could make it… I had to try and some how I ended up achieving an orgasm.

We were intimate. No one knows, I think. I get the feeling RapMon knows but I don’t know. We started rapping together more. Dancing together. But then the eating problem occured. I hadn’t know what caused her dizziness but eventually after talking to the guys we came to conclusion her blood count could be low or she isn’t eating. She was dizzy all the time. So I started to make sure she ate. With all the bodily care I gave her she had less time to freely hang out with me and we grew apart. I want her back. I need to know why all the bodily problems occur.

*RP

This morning… It’s like instincts kicked in. I almost ignored her pleas. I… Touched her. But that smell… It came from her. I’m known as her Teddy bear. Most of the time. The other half of the time Kookie’s her Teddy bear. We talk all the time. On the phone, in the studio, on the set, we sleep together, we go out together. I know much more than most of the boys. And I get the feeling Jimin is not the first one to get the puss. If I’m right Hobi was. But I did express my likeness for her this time. She knows for sure now. I know what and why but I need the remaining puzzle pieces.

…….

#bts jimin #park jimin #smut #drama #bts #masterlist

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nostalgiaispeace · 4 years

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1803.

1. What color does your hair look like when it’s wet? black 2. Do you remember the date of your prom? no

3. Was your last kiss long and sensual or short and sweet? Why’s that? short and sweet

4. When kissing, do you like to be on top or bottom? lol um idc?

5. Do you think your boyfriend really loves you or is he just saying it? i’m pretty sure my husband loves me

6. My boyfriend used to tell me he loved me several times a day..now he doesn’t even say it when I tell him I love him..do you think something is going on? probably..

7. Is it time to clean your cat litter box(assuming you have a cat)? yeah

8. By cat litter box, I mean your vagina? omg wtf no

9. Basically, are you clean? yes omg.

10. Why are most surveys made just for girls(with questions about boobs, lipstick, boyfriends, etc)? idk.....

11. Oh well, this survey’s for girls, do you wear dark lipstick? no

12. Do you own any red high heels? Nope.

13. Can you even walk in high heels? kinda

14. Do you have any make-up on right now? no

15. What are your measurements? idk

16. Does your boyfriend/husband know what size your boobs are? doubt it lol

17. He should so he can buy you sexy lingerie, right? not my thing

18. If you wear glasses, do you have those little disposable lens wipes to clean them with? Nope.

19. Of if you have contacts, are they coloured?

20. Have you ever fallen asleep with your contacts in and then woke up to them basically sticking to your eyeballs and your vision is all fuzzy? yeah

21. Do you have hair extensions or do you think those are strictly for the scene kids? i don’t

22. Am I scene for saying, “kids” in the last question? no?

23. List all the things you have from your boyfriend at your house right now? my husband and i share pretty much everything so..

24. Do you feel uncomfortable when crossing busy streets? yes

25. Last time you exercised and for how long? lol

26. Have you ever worn guys’ Nike shorts? not that i recall

27. How does your hair look/smell right now? a mess

28. Last girl who called you hot/sexy/something else of the sort? idk

29. Was she hitting on you? 30. Last guy who called you hot/sexy/something else of the sort? my husband

31. Was HE hitting on you?

probably

32. If you got a pet today, what would you name it? Belle

33. Have you ever taken the 5,000 question survey? some of it

34. They say sneezes are like miniature orgasms…do you agree with that? no

35. Do you think a virgin would enjoy getting fondled more than a person who has had sex multiple times? ummm idk?

36. Does wearing long sleeve shirts irritate you? No.

37. Last nice restaurant you went to? a mexican one

38. Who were you with, what did you order, and how much was it? my husband, nachoes, idk

39. What would you do if your boyfriend/husband got drafted into war tomorrow?

i’d be super scared

40. Does the smell of vinegar make you feel like you’re going to throw up or do you like it? neither 41. Do you know anyone who has committed suicide? No.

42. If you do and you don’t mind me asking, how did they go?

43. Do you think it’s unladylike for a woman to say, “fuck”? sometimes

44. Are any of your friends upset about anything right now? probably

45. Have you ever attended a high school Homecoming dance and football game? Who was your date? No.

46. When you have a rubber band and you’re around someone, do you feel the urge to pop them with it? no

48. Has a guy ever touched your butt without permission? If so, how did this make you feel? yes, well i kicked him so guess

49. How many formal dresses do you own? like 2

#me #survey

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sneakyhomunculous · 4 years

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Last PT Report PT 2

Day 2: After day 1 we went to a nice dinner, 5 of us somehow spent 600$ [it may have had something to do with Rocky ordering 3 Apps a Salad a Soup 2 Entrees 3 Sides multiple glasses of wine and dessert) and we ended up staying pretty late. Continuing my hot run I got to pay for the whole thing! I didn’t get to bed until 12ish and unfortunately woke up around 4:30 to some obscene snoring. By around 5 it calmed down and I was able to sleep until 7:30. I woke up OK, but not fresh like the previous day. I went through the same routine as before and managed to catch the shuttle at the last second with Wily Edel and fellow Embercleavers. Draft 2, Pod 1 Featured Pod I was excited going into this draft because what I percieved as the toughest players Eli Brad and Hauck all drafted non blue decks day 1. In fact in all the drafts I did with Brad over the years he was basically never blue! He’s allergic to non green cards. I sat down to find the seating. Hauck was on my left and Brad and Eli were sort of across the table. Max Mick was feeding me, and I knew very little about him. Hauck and Brad’s drafts were both covered and you can watch them on the VOD. Unfortunately there is no draft viewer. They recorded every pick from every player, but unlike the old days they don’t really post the draft viewers anymore. It’s hard to do these draft caps off memory but I will do my best. The draft starts with a high, as I see many blue backgrounds on the magic cards in my first pack. Charmed Sleep, SecretKeeper, Didn’t Say Plz, Apprentice, and Vantress Gargoyle. I like Gargoyle more than most (I always have at least 4 cards in my hand) so I take it hoping one of the 3 good cards will wheel. There was a RW knightlord and not much else in other colors so a bit worrysome of a signal to send (and in fact Hauck 2nd picked the Charmed Sleep) Pack 2 was one of the worst packs I’ve ever laid eyes on. There was a steelclaw Lance and a B and G Paladin, and luckily a Frogify as the clear best card (Frogify isn’t very good). I take the Frogify Pack 3 is interesting; outmuscle improbable alliance tome raider covetous urge. It’s not that interesting, covetous Urge is completely busted. Alliance is a bit overrated and just fine, I do always have lots of opts and tome raiders so I like them I have it, but I know I will never play less than 11-12 blue sources and Urge is just so good. 4th pick Opt!!! This is the only blue card in the pack that otherwise really stinks. It was the last card I looked at and a huge sigh of relief for me. 5th pick didn’t say please and sage of the falls, a good sign. This is somewhat of a close pick but I value hard counters very highly and sage is just a much worse draw 3 scry 3. Take the counter 6th pick only one blue card tome raider, there is a henge walker as well but otherwise a weak pack. I take the raider as it sends a better signal and I don’t see myself being particularly aggressive after this start. I honestly don’t recall the rest of this pack but I know none of the 3 good cards tabled. I think maybe the overwhelming apprentice did but I don’t find that much of a playable magic card. I got a few playable like wishful merfolk and a forever young etc but nothing exciting. Pack 2 is where we make our living. Now I don’t want to go divulge off into a long theory piece, as this is supposed to be a silly fun report that is already bound to go absurdly long. But I have to say this. (and boy is it going to be fucking long. I just came back up to add this disclaimer. I am about to go on a massive rant about throne of eldraine limited. About how good Blue is. About how good unexplained visions is. About the theory of everything, and how Ben Stark is sometimes even wrong. If you don’t care about it you can skip past it. But you do care. That’s why you clicked this. Read it. You’ll laugh. You’ll learn something too; I think.) Rant on Drafting and Eldraine and Theory- Shoutout to Ben Stark the 🐐, and all the lovers of booster draft out there. Ben is great and much better than me. Shoutout to Marshall and Eduardo. They are both great players and great commentators as well, and they definitely understand limited and booster draft on a deep level. That being said... Ben Stark may tweet PT trophy records and shoutout his piece on “drafting the hard way”. Eduardo and Marshall may mention it multiple times during every draft. [See almost any draft ever, or specifically see Haucks draft on day 2 where he is completely handcuffed on my direct left “staying open” while ending up with a really embarrassing collection of cards after pack 1.] Multiple times throughout his draft Eduardo mentions how he and other good players and great drafters like to “stay open” by taking the “best card” in every pack. Well you see what Eduardo didn’t tell you and what Ben stark didn’t say in his trophy tweets or his piece on drafting the hard way is that... EVERY DRAFT FORMAT IS EXTREMELY UNIQUE [bolded and italicized for effect, but idk how] (Again Ben, Marshall, Eduardo, Riley, and Paul are all great. Commentating is absurdly hard and they do an unreal job. This stuff I’m talking about is way too deep for live on air stuff, and I can tell you that all 5 of them know most all of what I’m about to say already. “Drafting the hard way” is a great lesson for drafters, even experienced good drafters can learn a ton and will do well to remember it.) Throne of eldraine happens to be very dynamic. There are a TON of viable color pairs and options and “decks” but the thing is, some of them fucking suck. Shoutout again to Marshall for letting everyone know that RG was not really a thing when Brad was taking red and Green cards. Now we just need to admit that all the non U color pairs are not things either! The other thing is, a ton of the decks are really reliant on very specific cards. And of course the decks all have varying degrees of malleability. The fact of the matter is, 2 color decks just almost do not work at all. GB food is not a deck. Shoutout to Collin for somehow drafting it every time GW adventures isn’t a deck. RB and RW and BW knights are not decks. GR grumgullies isn’t a thing. UR draw 2 isn’t a deck. They are all complete traps and most people sort of understand this, but they don’t seem to know what to do about it. What you need to do is focus on the good decks, and then develop a draft strategy that gives you the best chance to end up with a “good version” of one of the [playable at all] decks. Now I’m not going to sit here and pretend like it’s easy. A magic the gathering 8 man booster draft with 3 of the same large set packs is one of the purest art forms to ever exist in our universe. Eldraine draft is mostly dead, but I’ll give you the [short; for how much I could write about this format] rundown anyway. It may help you develop a strategy in future formats. I can only hope R&D continues to make formats even close to as good as this one or Khans or Ravnica City of Guilds. Rule number 1: Blue is so much better than every other color. It would honestly make the format super awkward/Interesting if everyone was aware of this, but what I gathered before the PT and certainly during it, was that most people are not aware of this. And that’s despite the arena bots being so bad they force everyone into being blue every draft, and all the spreading of that info and complaining on Twitter still led to no1 really figuring it out. Rule Number 2: The color pairs are traps, fixing is very scarce and also very good, many cards look good but are TRAPS as early picks because the completely pigeonhole you into only 1 or maybe 2 playable decks/archetypes whatever you want to call it. If you watch theHamTV draft you’ll see him say it all the time. He first picks a card, and then by pick 2 or 3 he’s already tilting off because he says “I am never going to play these 2 cards in the same deck” this is not standard for a draft format by any means, but Throne is its own animal. Searing Barrage isn’t good unless you are Mono Red. That isn’t intuitive at first glance. Red white or Red Black are just not playable as color pairs. Same for Red Green or Green Black or Green White. You can obviously always splash, but the mana requirements are too heavy and the incentives to staying mostly one color are so high. This means you cannot afford to first pick Bake 2nd pick Charmed Sleep and then decide to take like Outmuscle over decent artifacts and U or b cards, and then decide to take Lochtwain Paladin over other blue cards and artifacts. The Paladin and to a lesser extent Bake are only good in mono black exactly (Bake is fine in UB). If this is the way the packs break that’s fine, what can you do? But Christian had a few better options I believe, and then soon I think he takes a red card. And then a malevelont Noble, And then another green card and then maybe a white card!? And look, I feel for him. The packs were weak overall and Throne of Eldraine is hard. He was also on my left, with Max on my right. Max and I both drafted Mono U. Christians draft is a perfect example of what many poor players drafts would look like if everyone realizes how good blue is. We probably don’t have time for it all here. But I’ll give you the short rundown. Exhaustive list of playable decks in throne of eldraine limited. Uxxxx Unexplained Visions Bury Their So Tiny Asses Alive I try to force this every single draft, but I do it in a delicate manner making sure to keep myself open to any of the other 10 or so good decks. After all we may not open any Vision, and they may not get passed to me. I sure as hell wont pass one. This deck is a malleable machine. It is so good because you can just take whatever nobody else is taking. If you get late pixies, you go green, if u get late mad ratter or alliance, u play those, if u get late Wicked guardians or a 6th pick lochmere Serpent or u open epic downfall and Bakes, you play those. If you get danse and have artifacts, you go dansing in the wind. If u get secretkeepers and counters you go mill. If you get stuck with Fae vandal and henge walkers and Vantress paladins you can even salvage with some runnaway together and tempo them out with fliers (I don’t recommend this tempo plan, but some drafts 5-6 people are blue and u gotta make it happen anyway. Your deck will still be better than the average deck in other colors) But ultimately all this deck truly needs is 2-4 visions/into the story (visions strongly preferred. Story only great if u have 3+ secretkeepers and or didn’t say please type stuff) You also would like some number of opts and witching wells (not necessary though). I’d play 6 opts at least and usually 2-3 wells. The less visions and into the stories you have the more wells I’d play. But even with 3 visions I’d play 4 Opt and a well or two. Any cheap magic cards that preferably block really well or gain more advantage in themselves like opt witching well clockwork servant wicked guardian etc etc, and then stuff like secretkeeper so tiny Charmed Sleep 1/4s and 3/2s for 2. and finally some good way to end the game (this doesn’t need to be a traditional big flier. It’s nice to have lochmere serpent or something absurd and easy to kill with, but a few secretkeepers and didn’t say pleases and mystic sanctuaries also works just fine, or some weird danse kill, or ratter/alliance army (watchout for revenge of the ravens!)) The real beauty of this deck is getting absurdly mileage out of other players dregs. Lochtwain Gargoyle is just actually a good card in this deck usually. Crashing drawbridge type stuff is not ideal, but totally serviceable. Corridor monitor and wishful merfolk can both be fine to actively good. You can see quickly how easy it is to consistently end up with this deck when you can play 5-8 cards nobody else would ever even take and other people are passing visions and playing non blue decks. Just wait until you hear what BEN STARK thinks about Unexplained Vision Ux Mill This is usually splashing black, sometimes mono. You know the deck. The arena bots give it away. In real life it doesn’t actually happen, a pipe dream. Sometimes my Visions Bury em decks end up winning via mill, bc secret keeper is just a fine to good card if u have drown in the Loch/into the story/ lots of visions and need 1-2 drops/the combo didn’t say pleases and no good finishers. But sure if no1 takes any secretkeepers and u get lucky clover or Folio and lots of didn’t say pleases this can be a great deck that’s hard to beat. Ug This is usually splashing for some very specific cards like maraleaf pixie, trail of crumbs, some rares I’m not thinking of, maybe Edgewall inkeeper/maraleaf rider and some eggs and some weird 3 color thing. I’ve had some wonky decks like this. It doesn’t come together often but I’ve had at least 3 drafts where I get multiple maraleaf pixies for free bc no1 can ever take them, and you can see how having an early trail of crumbs/outmuscle can lead to some weird mono u splash these cards shell Uw This deck has multiple different routes, you never want to shinechaser really, but you certainly always want owl. I think the best versions play a few plains for things like all that glitters and trapped in the tower or Danse of the manse type stuff. It’s silly but realm cloaked giant or that archon are other good reasons to end up this deck. Emry and eggs and witching wells any cheap artifacts you know what I’m saying. Ub This is mostly just an extension of the bury em visions deck. One note almost all of these decks want 11+ blue sources. Mystic sanctuary is busted in all of these decks. Clockwork servant type stuff is busted. Blue is completely busted! Now I know all these decks I just mentioned are sort of the same thing. But they really aren’t. And the big takeaway is that blue has all the best cards, and is also the deepest color by a lot, while also being able to support 3-4 different types of strategies in a single draft. It’s a crazy revelation when you realize it. Blues 8th best common is better than the 2nd best common in all of the other colors. Syr Elenora Urge Loch dragon Owl Snapper Vandal all great, so many more I’m leaving out basically every blue card in the set is a dreamboat. Tier 2 decks Mono Red aggro Searing barrage and embreth Paladin are not good in any other deck, but great here. Same goes for weaselback redcap and oftentimes even fling. The issue is lots of people don’t know that about searing barrage, so u may not get them for free. This deck just wants to curve out but have some serious burst potential with the haste Paladin/fling/barrage and then just fill in with any of the henge walker/joustin dummy type stuff and play redcap raiders/barge in/scorching dragonfires etc. I find it’s hard to get enough early creatures so prioritize them when you can. Mono G aggro This is a spicy deck that lots of people considered the best and so it’s well known and out there how to draft it. Go to Hamtv on twitch to watch Kyle play it all the time. Green has some good cards that no1 else wants like wildwooftracker the halberd gingerbrute maraleaf rider garenbrig Paladin etc. and while people do want outmuscle and Witchstalker, those are really strong. You can splash here, but you would almost always prefer to not have to. Henge walker etc can help you avoid having to. Mono W or Wx aggro. Tactician and cheap plays. White has no shortage of 1-2 drops and good value pump spells like guidemother and the squire. Flutterfox with some things to turn it on happens often, I think Banner and Wheel are just always great but they shine here in the flutterfox versions of this deck. Fliers/evasion is massive to get around my pesky corridor monitors and wishful merfolk and sectretkeepers. You can certainly have a knights theme and even splash black or red for some knights or removal/good cards. But you really want to prioritize actually being able to play your cards and being able to pick up Hybrid WWWWxxxx uncommons and cast henge walkers and ritual and Paladin and stuff with adamant. Same goes for all the mono color aggro decks, you really have to do your best to stay as mono as possible throughout the draft, and ultimately you don’t ever want to end up with a 10-7 or 9-8 manabase. It will obviously happen and with fine to great decks sometimes, but it’s super rare and you should actively be trying to avoid it. Some players have success with Knight strategies. I believe they need lots of uncommons and rares and then to get lucky to end up with a distribution that lets them play 11-6 to have good mana. I’ve 3-0ed with quite a few mostly white knight decks that splash the drain guy, epic downfall, reave soul, maybe some black rare idk. Things like that are fine. But taking the RW Knight uncommon 2/2 or the steelclaw Lance are recipes for disaster. I didn’t see Eli’s Draft, but see our round 10 match for an example of a steelclaw Lance deck. Mono B value/midrange I haven’t drafted this much but it’s mostly self explanatory. Usually it comes about by first picking bake into a pie or getting passed an ayara in a weak pack and just having black be wide open. You play the Lochtwain Paladin and the reave souls and bakes and whatever Hybrid Uncommons u can find and usually some rares and fill in with dummies and henge walkers as needed. Can splash for things like garruk or serpent obviously, and this comes up quite a bit, this is another good reason to try and stay mono going into packs 2 and 3. That is the end of the playable throne of eldraine draft decks list. Every other deck is a pipe dream. They do exist, but rely heavily on exact uncommons/rares like troll king or savy hunter in BG food. And even if u get them you will still lose to an average U deck with 3 unexplained visions. Avoid like the plague. Ok yeah, rule number 3 time I promise this is the last rule. Draft as though you know what the good decks are and you know how the format works. Stop acting like everything is a vacuum and Throne of Eldraine limited is just another Magic the Gathering Set that can be easily mastered by following the guidelines outlined in Ben Starks Timeless Piece “Drafting the Hard Way”. Taking random ass cards in different colors throughout pack 1 bc they are powerful is a recipe for absolute disaster in this format. It is true that Ben is right about draft theory in general terms, and in most formats drafting by taking the “best cards” you see in the first few packs is a sound strategy. Because you wait for a “signal” and then u move into what deck you are “supposed” to be in for your seat. Losing a few early picks is nothing when you end up in the perfect color pair that neither of the 2 players on your right or even the player on are touching at all. Right??? Yes it’s right, but not in throne of eldraine. Throne rewards cutthroat discipline of sticking to the blue cards and artifacts. You want to leave yourself open to being able to draft blue as long as possible, while at the same time not forcing it in case it just isn’t there. It’s very delicate and not easy, but some sample picks could probably illustrate my point better. Maybe review my 2 drafts from the PT and checkout my decks. I’ll try and post the pics again underneath the tweet linking these. Im exaggerating blue (a very small amount, it’s the best by miles), but sticking to cards that are good in multiple decks is huge. Youthful knight and flutterfox and tactician and guidemother and any other fine white card are fine white cards. There is only one deck that wants fine white cards. Mono white aggro. If this deck is not 100% wide open and you are taking these cards you will train wreck. I have drafted mono white 5+ times, but it was always because I started with a blue card, an egg, a banner or spinning wheel, a henge walker or dummy, and then started seeing late trapped in the tower or tacticians and the flutterfoxes or other white commons tabled. So this being said if you are faced with the decision of outmuscle or Tactician or Scorching Dragonfire or Even Reave Soul/Bake VS golden egg or banner/spinning wheel/Fabled Passage/clockwork servant always take the latter card. In their respective mono color decks the top cards are a bit stronger than the bottom cards. The problem is this isn’t a normal format. When you take a tactician in a normal format u can play it in 5-6 different decks. Any white deck. There is only one white deck here but 15 other decks. Don’t take tactician until it’s clear u are the only white drafter. Take opt. Or take run away together. Or if you’re lucky take spinning wheel. If you’re the luckiest person alive take Unexplained Vision The player on my direct right was Mono U in this day 2 draft. I drafted Mono U right behind them and 3-0ed with a great deck. It isn’t because I got lucky. The pack distributions were kind of ugly, and many players were blue or taking blue cards. None of my cards tabled. But it doesn’t matter. I stayed strong and took artifacts and fixing high, and I never let a good blue card go by. It’s a simple strategy really, but certainly hard to execute perfectly Some weeks before the PT, shortly after I had come to the realization that blue in throne of eldraine was approaching mandatory force levels; I saw Ben the 🐐 Stark first pick Emry Lurcher of the Loch and then 2nd pick a BOG NAUGHTY over a DRAW 3 SCRY 3! The best limited player of all time!! I certainly believe Ben is unbelievable and a very strong player and incredible mind. His willingness to search for the truth above all else is what I believe really makes him special. But Bog Naughty is not remotely pickable in any early pack 1 scenario. You have to be mono black and also have some food? It’s just not reasonable. GB food again isn’t a thing, and even if it is it’s likely heavy green. If it’s heavy black sure u can use the naughty to some good fun magic. But even if you do it’s like a slightly better card than what a filler card like henge walker or tempting witch? Don’t take Bog Naughty if you want to win your matches. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing anything so I asked him about it. I said “Yo Ben, you passed the literal dreamboat card for a Vantress Paladin that cost 5 mana double black after first picking one of the most busted rares in the set that is guaranteed to make your deck after first picking it, being as it is in the best color and it’s now so easy to prioritize artifacts in the draft.” What gives??? His response: “Not a big fan of vision. Especially when you already have Emry milling 4 giving you a source of end ess card advantage. I’ll play 1-2 copies of vision in my deck if I don’t have other card advantage, but it’s near unplayable vs mill and aggro and I don’t draft it highly.” Now I always look to give someone like Ben the benefit of the doubt. And this is twitter where nuance is obviously lost easily as we are limited to a few sentences. But breaking down what he said; he starts with saying he’s not a fan of visions, later saying it’s near unplayable vs mill and aggro and that he doesn’t draft it highly. This is when I realized I made a mistake asking him about it. The PT is still 3 weeks away and I don’t want him to realize he’s wrong and teach all of his friends. It is true that Visions have diminishing returns. Most decks can not afford to play the 5th, or even 4th copy. A lot of decks may end up not really wanting a 3rd either, but I think that is extremely rare. This is such a minor thing though, and it’s the literal most important card in over half the blue decks. You don’t say “oh I’m not going to take the best card ever because I can’t play more than 3 of them”. Like imagine a 5 mana card that said draw 10 cards. Sure you cant fill your deck with 8 of them. But now you want to fucking pass it because of that? No you fucking slam it to guarantee you have it. And if you get more, you slam those too and you play those too. And yes, once u get your 4th or 5th copy you can chill out, or you can bear down and play those too while figuring out a way to find some cheap shit to stay alive until you cast your first draw 10 and win by default . But the fact that you have this card, combined with the mere fact that it exists and you value it highly (properly) means you can now literally draft whatever u want, so long as you draft a sufficient number of cheap/defensive cards. More about his statement. Just because you have 1 Emry doesn’t mean you can’t take more card advantage??? He says Emry is an endless source. Yes it’s a 1/2 that needs an artifact stream and you also have to draw it and have it live. I would prefer to have 10 Emry type cards in every deck. If you’re tired of reading about this I’m truly sorry, but not really sorry because there’s no fucking way anyone is still here this deep in and not absolutely loving it. “It’s near unplayable vs aggro and Mill”. While the card is usually somewhat weak against mill (it actually ends up being the best card against mill a bunch of the time. I say this because I have a ton of experience with visions against busted mill decks in the arena streets. If you have 2-3 visions and you play against mill; There will obviously be games where visions is awful and you cannot even realistically cast it. But in the other games, the games you actually have good chances to win; you usually do so by burying your opponent in cards and killing them by default before they can mill you. No slow blue deck is going to aggro through a secretkeeper deck. You beat it by hoping they draw too many secretkeepers/defensive weak cards and don’t draw the counterspells. Mill vs U Visions control literally comes down to who resolves the visions! (I will concede that drafting like this means you are absurdly soft to Folio of the fancies/didn’t say please/Mystical Dispute and any really fast milling. But this is why I prioritize the counterspells very highly myself, along with cards like covetous Urge and cards that can kill efficiently thru walls of defense and kill alone like Syr Elenora/ratter/alliance and sB options like Vantress Paladin/steelhaze griffins or forever young, and also sbing in 8 more islands and 6 more blue cards if I need to.) But saying it’s “bad vs aggro and mill” is just silly. On its “bad vs aggro”- “Aggro” is a weird concept in limited. You really want to avoid being pidgeonholed into “aggro” at all costs. Being aggro means you are relying on having a strong opening hand with a good curve while also relying on your opponents to not have sufficient defenses against your onslaught. In theory this sounds like a fine strategy when executed properly. You fill your deck with powerful 2 and 3 drops with high power or menace or flying or haste or first strike, maybe even some one drops. Cheap burn and plays that help removal blockers/push through damage. And then u top it off with whatever powerful finishers you can find. In reality this is an inferior draft strategy to taking cheap/defensive cards, card advantage, and busted magic cards like the RARE MYTHIC RARE and UNCOMMON type cards. The reason is twofold, the draft portion + the games portion. In the draft, ending up with a great aggro deck is hard. You have to be in the exact right color for your seat, get the necessary amount of aggressive 2-3 drops, the right pump/cheap removal/burn/reach and the right mana base to be able to function well. In the games you have to avoid mulliganing, avoid stumbling on lands, and avoid drawing your 2 drops on turn 10 when you need your few finishers. Meanwhile you have to also avoid your opponent having any of the Stonewall Jackson type cards you dread facing. Like say Corridor Monitor into Clockwork Servant into Wicked Guardian. But this is the beauty of drafting. In a perfect world, we’d sit down for an 8 man where most of the players agree that being “aggro” is inherently bad, and we all lean towards being defensive and open to whatever the best ways to gain incremental advantage we can come up with in the draft. In this world the player(s) who recognize what’s going on and moves into the aggro lane will be rewarded and end up with a completely busted deck that has the highest win expectancy at the table. In many formats, this is actually exactly what happens. Aggro is [slightly] worse than just drafting a good defensive curve removal busted cards and card advantage. So if no one is drafting aggro you will end up with a broken deck that should crush everyone. That hidden factor is that you still have to avoid mulliganing and or flooding/stumbling/drawing weak cards in the mid game/overcoming stonewall Jackson so despite maybe having a slightly higher winrate than decent defensive decks, you still have to run well in your games and the medium deck can still stonewall you. You’re often prone to flooding as well. Look, I’m not saying aggro is unplayable. But I am saying you should do everything in your power to not draft it. Now back to the point. I would argue that visions is the BEST possible common you could ever have against aggro. (I wouldn’t actually argue that, I’d prefer wrath of god and moat and shit... but it is a very sound and good strategy of playing defense and then burying them with one broken draw spell. And this card is really really good, even vs aggro) Ben has this notion that in limited magic, card draw is often cheapened because of the low value of extra lands. I challenge this proposition in most scenarios, as finding a use for extra lands is easy when you are drawing tons of cards. And “getting past the lands” to find your specific answers/good cards is often very useful. But that is not super relevant here anyway. Visions isn’t just a draw 3... You then scry 3!! It’s a fucking common!!! Personal wheel of fortune!!!! End Rant Recap I have Hauck now feeding me for pack 2 My picks so far are Vantress Gargoyle Frogify Covetous Urge Opt Didn’t say please Tome raider Forever young Wishful merfolk Some dregs I forget Pack 2 I think I opened Fae of Wishes and 1-2 other decent cards. Fae is Busted so I slammed it. I am passed a pack lacking in good cards. It has a pixie, a queen of ice (not a good card, like the 10th best or worse U common) a Corridor Monitor (a good card, but obviously not happy to take early) and luckily a Fabled Passage that I slam! 3rd pick is full of busted stuff. Charmed Sleep So Tiny Danse of the Manse Trail of Crumbs Pixie (have to consider the other pixie tabling now) Ultimately I settle on charmed Sleep. I like So Tiny more in some decks, but you need multiple visions and preferably some mill stuff before I start taking my first So tiny over my first Charmed Sleep. 4th pick Covetous Urge number 2 over Opt and Mystic Sanctuary Urge is completely busted 5th Charmed Sleep over So tiny and Egg 6th pick So Tiny! Over wishful merfolk (Sorry Max) 7th pick Loch Dragon! Over So Tiny (You’re Welcome Max) 8th Pick Castle Vantress over nothing (Truly Sorry Max) 9th Pick Skullknacker Ogre over nothing (I boarded this in vs Brad who was Gr with no pump spells no removal. He had 2 Syr faren a few merchant of the vales and a bunch of Fierced witchstalkers a henge walker etc. I drew it and played it t4 and won bc of it!) 10th Pick the pixie tables but I’m Worried about my cheap creatures and plays and feel it’s unlikely I play G at this Point. I honestly may be confusing a pick in the draft and may have already had a mad ratter or improbable alliance bc I somewhat confidently took queen of ice over this pixie (2 Urge and Loch dragon mana requirements also weighed on my mind) 11th pick the other Pixie tables too. And I am on massive tilt bc I just pulled up the viewer to check this pack thru Christians eyes. There was a so Tiny in this pack he hate drafted here 😂😩😬 12th Pick he hate drafts Opt 🤦🏻‍♂️ But there is a mystic sanctuary anyway! He hates a Runaway Together with 3 cards in the pack and I don’t get anything Pack 3 I open a weak pack but it has a secretkeeper and an Into the Story. I timebanked this pick to the max and wasn’t confident. I really need early plays but also really need some more ways to draw extras. Bc of my two urges giving me some advantage in long games I decide to take the secretkeeper and pray I’ll see an Unexplained Vision Pick 2 Max does me a favor and passes me Syr Elenora. There is like a slaying fire and Yorvo as notables. But Syr Elenora is preeeeemium. Pick 3 I think I take either Mad Ratter or Improbable Alliance over Animating Fae and Nothing. Pick 4 Mystical Dispute over Moonlit scavengers Pick 5 Tome Raider over Queen of Ice Pick 6 Either Improbable Alliance or Mad Ratter (I ended with 1 of each, forgot which was which pick they are the same card in my brain) over Merchant of the Veil no Blue cards Pick 7 Opt over nothing Pick 8 Run away Together over nothing Pick 9 Into the Story Tables!!!! I end up deciding it’s my best Fae of wish Target and I only have 1 secretkeeper one Didn’t say please to mill, my removal is 2 Charmed Sleep So Tiny, so I figure the Into the Story being in my sideboard makes a lot of sense. I end up wishing for it 3-4 times and it was gas. Final deck is 12 islands 1 Mystic Sanctuary 1 Castle Vantress 1 Fabled Passage 2 Mountain 2 Opt 1 So Tiny 1 Merfolk SecretKeeper 1 Vantress Gargoyle 1 Fae of Wishes 1 Wishful Merfolk 1 Queen of Ice 1 Improbable Alliance 1 Run Away Together 1 Frogify 2 Tome Raider 2 Charmed Sleep 1 Didn’t Say Please 1 Mystical Dispute 2 Covetous Urge 1 Loch Dragon 1 Mad Ratter 1 Syr Elenora 1 Steelhaze Griffin (23rd card and I was torn on this. Card is whatever not good at all, but it can block and it can attack) R9 Dylan Lerch (The only White Drafter) Because we were the feature pod, we exchange pools. We don’t have decklists, but pools of all 42 cards drafted. Quickly I see that Dylan has a completely busted mono white deck, well likely splashing red. Dylan was two on my left. I figured Hauck was probably white, but since he wasn’t it all got to Dylan. Dylan was certainly the only white drafter. I am trying to imagine my gameplan for beating this deck, and I’m failing to come up with scenarios where I win any games. 4 Fairie Guidemother 2 Giant Killer 1 Worthy Knight 2 Youthful Knight 1 Inspiring Veteran 1 Shepard of the Flock 1 Glass Casket 1 Ardenvale Tactician 1 Clockwork Servant 1 Linden the Steadfast Queen 1 Brimstone Trubuchet 1 Slaying Fire 1 Outlaws Merriment 1 Archon of Absolution 1 Resolute Rider 1 Oakhame Ranger 2 Fireborn Knight 13 Plains 4 Mountain I know I clown aggro, but this deck is no joke. My wishful merfolk is downright embarrassing vs this. My queen of ice too. My charmed sleeps aren’t very good vs 1/1 fliers. As a matter of fact without Fae of Wishes I don’t see how I stop this onslaught. Game 1 starts off about the only way I could ever imagine for a game that I’ll win. I play turn 2 Fae of Wishes after Dylan played a turn 1 Fae Guidemother. Soon after he plays out a giant killer, and then some 2 power thing. He starts tapping my Fae and Building a force, but I find some tome raider chain into some real cards I can’t remember exactly, but I know I stabilize and then bounce my Fae with Run away Together and then Granted for Into the Story. I draw 4 then covetous Urge him a little bit behind now and at around 8. He still doesn’t have a mountain, so his Outlaws Merriment is stranded and I kill him with it over a few turns after I stabilize around 5 life. I feel I got very lucky that game with his draws being poor and being able to steal his merriment. G2 he plays 1 drop 2 drop turn 3 2 drop plus giant killer and turn 4 I am left conceding with no outs. Disgusted while shuffling for G3 I wonder where it all went wrong. How is Dylan’s deck so good? Why am I paired vs him now? I know I can beat the other 6 decks! I have a decent hand but slow, luckily he makes no play turn 1. He plays a few creatures over the next few turns and misses his 4th land drop. I have a singleton medium blocker I forget what it was but it’s getting tapped bc It’s facing down vs his now worthy knight giant killer Fae guidemother and I think Youthful Knight plus 1/1 as i cast my Covetous Urge, assuming I am just dead with no outs. Dylan is stuck on 3 plains and reveals his hand of fireborn Knight Outlaws Merriment another 2 drop anddddddddddddddddddddddd Archon of Absolution hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa I go ahead and take that. He doesn’t draw a land and makes some attacks putting me to 12 and plays another 2 drop. I untap and casually place his protection from white ghostly prison into play hahahhahahahahahah he has 7 creatures and 3 plains and draws land, but it’s plains. So all he can muster is fireborn Knight. He plays it then lines up attacks and there is under 10min in the round and a big crowd is watching. After a bit more of him thinking about who to attack with I just finally say you cannot attack they all cost a mana and he realizes it and shakes his head and passes. I untap and covetous Urge him again and take Merriment! His only out from here is mountain then slaying fire, but he doesn’t find them. I actually cast didn’t say please the next turn after playing Merriment and he mills a mountain and the slaying fire! Turns out Archon of Absolution is good against Mono White aggro 1 drops and tokens!! 8-1 and ecstatic to steal one. Round 10 Vs Eli Kassis on RB ~18 Playables??? Eli and I are featured as the backup match and a few parts of our games ended up on camera. When we exchanged pools we have 1 minute. I scan through and see he’s clearly black. He has rankle malevelont noble and some random assortment of ok black cards. He has Covetous Urge and Memory Theft. He also has like 5 red cards and a Steelclaw Lance. A crashing Drawbridge and maybe one other artifact. But overall if he plays every single black card artifact and red card that I deem playable it wasn’t even 20 cards. I ran out of time confused how he built his deck. It seemed that he was in fact just red black so maybe I miscounted or missed something. The games are somewhat interesting. Game 1 I kind of flood and awkward covetous Urge his hand of covetous Urge and weak cards, and he already has some 4 power attacker and shortly produced another. I had to urge his urge and I eventually get to Urge again to play something OK but I am just a little to much behind and can’t get a foot on the game before I’m forced to chump and then die. I’m still confident as his deck seems weak. Games two and 3 are pretty straightforward. He keeps drawing crashing drawbridge and steelclaw Lance and I’m Able to deal with his actual cards one at a time while producing a board of stupid little fliers. I did get lucky g3 on camera. His t2 crashing drawbridge I t2 Vantress Gargoyle He t3 memory theft and my hand is 6 spells no land. But it’s wishful merfolk Fae of Wishes charmed Sleep Run away Together tome raider and something else cheapish. So I don’t really need lands too badly and I also don’t have anything that broken. I think he takes my Fae or maybe a diff good card, but I immediately peel a land and tome Raider. I draw into another raider. He t4 covetous Urge off quad swamp and takes my Charmed Sleep and uses it on my Gargoyle the next turn. I’ve been milling with Gargoyle and I play tome raider 4th land go. From there I don’t miss lands for a few more turns and end up burying him beneath fliers once i draw Loch dragon and he only has some anemic beats with a solo rimrock Knight. 9-1 2-0 in the draft At this point I know Brad is playing vs Max Mick and I’m really hoping Brad wins. Max was on my right and I know he’s mono U with Folio gadwick. Unfortunately he won. But the good news is Brad Started 8-0 so he’s also 9-1, and we get paired!!! R11 Mike Sigrist on Gr Monsters His deck is a steaming pile of large creatures and bad mana. I kept going over the list looking for a spell and all I could find was a crystal slipper, 3 Fell of the pheasant, a Sundering Stroke and a Thrill of possibility. He’s mostly Green with 2 Syr Faren 2 Fierce Witchstalker 3 Garenbrig Paladin. He has a henge walker and a rosethorn acolyte, and then like multiple merchant of the Veils and Ogre Errants. I don’t even see how he has 23 cards either, he must be playing all these pheasant plummets (he is) We are main feature match. The whole thing was on camera. Brad won the die roll and mulligans to 5. I have 3 lands perfects with like a tome raider charmed Sleep counterspell and some 2 drop. I sort of draw only lands for the first lot of turns but Brad has a mono green deck and starts mountain mountain mountain henge walker. I charmed Sleep it. My plan was to save those for paladins, but with his mull to 5 and triple mountain start I figure I can race easily. He does put up some fight but I just take it slow and have Dispute and didn’t say plz and eventually find like an Urge and or a Loch dragon to close the game in short order. Game 2 is really interesting as I have to let him filter 10 times with merchant over the game but I maneuver my way to a winning position eventually on the back of both my Covetous Urges. 3-0 GG Y0 10-1 I know it’s way too late for subway or anything as the lines will all be unreal. So I pack up and find a message from Collin that he is grabbing convention center pizza. He grabs me a slice and it’s so terrible I can’t take more than a few bites. I’ve been staying really well hydrated and eating a decent breakfast at least, but these no lunches are brutal. Luckily I’m riding the adrenaline today and feel completely fine. R12 Vs Josh Utter Leyton on UG food Josh has 4 Growth Spiral instead of paradise Druid and is playing 2 Kraul harpooner I think. He has 25 lands but is on a pretty normal list otherwise. No Mass Manipulation or anything. Game 1 he’s on the play I think but starts tapped land tapped land goose. He has a turn 3 Oko I think but I have a decent hand with vraska and grasp and I think I end up vraskaing his Oko and Grasping a nissa and winning with my Own eventually. G2 is blurry but I think he mulliganed and or had a bad hand. I do remember having to take a big risk though. I could use my vraska and make a big attack to guarantee his nissa died, and he had no hand, but I would leave myself dead to a topdecked nissa Oko or aether gust. I decided to go for it anyway as I didn’t see any other way to guarantee nissa dying. He drew a kraul harpooner which was not good enough and I got to untap and put the game out of reach with a krasis or something. 11-1 I know that one more win should lock top 8, and I have at least 3 rounds to find it, maybe even 4. No pressure. I honestly didn’t it feel much. I’ve been here before after starting 8-0 in a PT a few years back. That time I went 1-1-1 in the draft and started 2-2 in constructed so I had a win and in the last round, and lost it in rather unfortunate fashion. But I didn’t really feel too nervous that day either. I think it gets to me more when my back is against the wall. When I’m just winning every round, I just keep going! R13 Mack Smith Bant Food He is playing Stock Bant from the European GP. 3 Maindeck Mass Manipulation Growth spirals etc. G1 I get ahead and I think I am fading mass manipulation in the later turns (nothing I can do about it) but he doesn’t have it and I win. G2 I feel ahead but have no answer to manipulation and the turn I thought he would play it he didn’t so I got excited, but he played it the following turn and I died. G3 i play t1 goose he t1 goose. I play Druid t2 and he just untap and says go. I go for t3 Nissa but he has a Negate to counter, down to just goose forest no food though. I think I have to spend a turn doing not much because I may be missing land as well, and he actually discards to hand size and then I wolf his goose. I win that one a couple turns later 12-1 and locked with 1 more match point. I feel like I would have been more excited if it were a few years ago. My first PT Top 8! But honestly it felt all a bit weird. The PT is moving to the Players Tour, and so much history is fading away. This PT top 8 literally means nothing if I don’t win first place. Just 2 years ago a PT top 8 would mean almost all the points you need for gold and over half of the way to platinum. Getting 2nd in a PT would all but assure you could make Platinum if you played some magic. Plus everyone was around and into it, the hall of fame talks etc etc. Now with the MPL and the PT going away everything is a bit cheapened and everyone is sort of automatically Jaded and unsure of the future. I was still feeling good; I just expected to feel more. I also know I still have to find a draw. My instinct says even if I lose r14 I’ll get the draw R15 with another X-2 though. R14 Andrew Cuneo on GW adventures This match was main feature and all on camera. Cuneo is great and we have some banter before the game about die rolling procedures. He also tilts off when I mulligan and say I’m going to keep before putting a card back. That’s not actually how that works he says. What does work is noxious grasp maindeck against GW little kid. I play multiple and Andrew draws plenty of lands and dies. In game 2 I keep a very sketchy hand of Wolf Massacre Girl Krasis 4 lands on the draw. I only have 1 Massacre Girl, He mulliganed, I’m locked for top 8, what the fucking hell could go wrong K3333pp! He puts a card to the bottom and announces keep. OUAT finds inkeeper, forest inkeeper. I draw land 5 and say to myself u are the dumbest fucking shit in the 7 kingdoms for keeping this. Land go; He untaps, aggressively pushes his inkeeper up at me and I right the 1 life, he shuffles his hand briefly and says GO. Wait what? He took inkeeper with OUAT and then didn’t play a 2nd land turn 2. How unlucky can this guy be??? I continue to draw only lands and he does hit a land next turn, but it’s a forest and no play. He eventually does find plains and puts up a fight. Eventually marching for 5 or 6 and convoking loxodon with a card still back. I have tons of Mana at this point, still have Massacre girl and can cast it + wolf to wrath everything. But I drew legions end the turn before and realize there is no reason to kill my own 6/6 krasis, just legions end the tokens and I’m ahead on board anyway. He dies shortly after. 13-1 R15 ID with Louis Deltour! 13-1-1 1 Seed Locked up R16 vs Paulo Vitor Damo Da Rosa Right before the match I had been talking with Tom Ross and I see the pairing and he says you should dream crush no? He won’t make it if you beat him. I honestly hadn’t even looked at the standings and wasn’t considering playing before talking with Tom. But then I started thinking. This last Pro Tour Ever here... it is so Top Heavy. True winner take all scenario. What do I have to lose by playing and trying to knock out the best player in the room? Well for starters I like Paulo. He’s just really likeable, and has always been friendly with me. I know he will be upset, and it will cause some drama as this type of situation is rare and they have probably already considered him in after seeing pairings. But the more I think about it the more it makes so much sense to play. I don’t owe Paulo anything, and this old mentality on the etiquette of IDs/Scoops makes a lot of sense in the old Pro Points/Level System. Or when PT top 8s really meant something. But what the hell does letting Paulo in the Top 8 actually do? Make it that much more unlikely I win the tournament is about all I can think. Greg Kowalski and his non green deck will be in if I beat Paulo. If I draw with him Paulo and his perfect mass manipulation gadwick list will be in. So anyway, I tell Paulo I want to play. He is obviously a bit surprised. And a huge crowd is forming. Shahar is behind Paulo and giving me the absolute stare of death throughout the whole thing. I tell Paulo the truth. I think he is great, and a random player making t8 would be very beneficial for me. I said this tournament is winner take all for me. If I go on to get 2nd not one person will care. In 6 months no1 will remember my name. They won’t know I got 2nd. I’ll get my 42 Mythic points and they will be worth nothing. I’ll be qualified for the next PT only and that is it. 20k and a fuck you have a nice day. But if I manage to win? 50k an invite to worlds (62,500$ in equity). All the clout, the trophy. There is an Arena PT in a month I’m Not qued for. Odds I get invited if I win? Not as high as Ondrej’s odds since he won (100%) but pretty high. You get the point. Winning first matter a lot. I told Paulo this. I said 3 years ago we would high five he’d say yay PT t8 number whatever triple digit number. I’d be happy I’m locked gold tons of pro points everyone cheers everyone happy. But we ESports baby. T8s don’t mean shit. So I ask to see his list and of course, it’s great. I told him this isn’t looking good for you. U got mass manipulations no shitty colorless land only 2 temples this shit is perfect. Let’s play. But I was not in it. I felt a slight bit of pain for Paulo in the moment, and I also was just tired. LSU was beating up on Alabama and I had planned on watching the 4th quarter before Tom mentioned I should play. But at this point I felt I had to at least go through with a game or two. I may just write ID on the slip even if I win, we will see. He beats me in a game 1 where I play ok, but not great. It’s a short game and I go to put my Sb Into my deck. As I’m shuffling through trying to find cards to cut I realize I forgot his SB. And I also can’t even think and don’t care anymore, so I offer him the draw and of course he happily accepts. I tell him I just couldn’t do it to him, sorry I made him sweat! 13-1-2 1 Seed going into Sunday. Paired vs 8 Seed Sebastian Pozzo on stock UG food, Paulo V Cuneo are the other match on my side. I will write about day 3 and the T8 games in another post. This one is a LOT of words and it’s unreal if anyone read this whole thing straight through with no breaks. I’ve been typing this all day, and I don’t feel like proofreading. Thanks for reading; GG Yo

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