#if this isnt at all historically accurate im sorry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vampireqrow-moved · 3 years

Text

um its my birthday so wait until 12:01am pst to block me if u hate this post 🥰🥰

long story short the pansexual label is redudant and actively harmful (its far from the worst problem bisexuals face but it is one issue) and i dont hate anyone who identifies as pan because A) those ppl are bi like me and B) i used to identify as pan myself.

if thats enough for you to block me and make a callout post for me then i cant stop you but pretty please either read this whole thing or just wait a few minutes for my bday to end 🥰🥰

anyways im kicking off this point with some personal experiences bc i love to talk to myself. i got introduced to the pan label at maybe 10ish years old, and started identifying with it pretty much right away. i heard about it before bisexual and it was pitched as attraction to all genders and of course trans people. i was of course a trans ally! i had trans friends! i was trans also but hadnt figured it out yet! the way i had heard of it, there was no bisexual, there was no need for bisexual, and identifying differently was excluding trans people, which I was certainly against. being bisexual was trans exclusionary and why would i exclude trans people? the 'hearts not parts' slogan was thriving around this time and i genuinely said it and meant it.

as i started to become more online, mostly through roleplaying websites and tumblr here, i started hearing of bisexuality. it was supposedly an older term, so older people still used it, but it was common knowledge that pansexual was the better, inclusive label and younger people should adopt the new inclusive language instead of the old and transphobic words like bisexual. /s

and then bi and pan solidarity was all the rage! pansexual wasnt erasing bisexuality, why did anyone ever think that? bi and pan were two separate and complete identities that were valid and had to be respected or youre a mean exclusionist. and an asexual person, hearing people labelled exclusionist always meant they were excluding people from the lgbta community who rightfully belonged, denying peoples lived experiences, and generally telling people theyre wrong about their sexuality because theyre too young. and all of those things were bad and had hurt me, so it would be ridiculous to change labels and support "pan exclusionists" because they were just as bad as ace and aro exclusionists, and they were all the same people. or so it seemed to me at that time.

then, 'hearts not parts' began getting called out for blatant transphobic by insinuating that pansexual was the only identity that loved people for their "hearts" and personalities instead of those gross gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and even straights who only saw people for their "parts". (STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE NOT OPPRESSED. I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THAT PANSEXUALITY WAS SHOWN AS ABOVE ALL OTHERS.) many pan people, including myself, began to denounce the slogan and insist pansexuality wasnt transphobic, there had just been a coincidence that a transphobic slogan was everywhere and a huge part of people's explantions of and associations with pansexuality. hint: it wasnt a coincidence.

from my perspective, this is when i began to see people discussing dropping the word pansexual. that seemed to be a huge step from getting rid off a transphobic slogan, and these people were just meanies who hated microlabels. and i like microlabels! as a genderfluid person, and someone who has friends who use specific aro and acespec labels, ive seen how people can use them to name specific experiences while still acknowleging their presence underneath umbrella terms like aromantic, asexual, nonbinary, lgbta, and for some people, queer.

pansexuals dont do that. they dont label pansexuality as a specific set of experiences under the bisexual umbrella, they see themselves as a separate identity, and even if they started to, the history of biphobia and transphobic undeniably linked to the existence of pansexuality in enough to stop being worth using. but i digress. pansexualitys shiny new definition that many people cling to is that pansexual is attraction to all genders. bisexual is two or more genders.

which. frankly? doesnt make any sense. my guess is that its supposed to be inclusive of nonbinary genders and those a part of cultures who historically have not had a binary gender system in the first place. i cannot speak for the latter group, but as a nonbinary person, its not inclusive. anyone can be attracted to nonbinary people. literally anyone. theres no way to know if everyone you meet is nonbinary or not. whether or not a nonbinary person reciprocates those feelings and is interested in pursuing a relationship is completely up to the individual, regardless of the sexualities of the people involved.

bottom line is that you cant number the amounts of genders someone can be attracted to, thus rendering those definitions pointless. people can be attracted to all kinds of people regardless of gender, even if they are gay, a lesbian, or straight. all people can date thousands of nonbinary genders if all people involved are interested and comfortable with it. numbering the genders you can be attracted to diminishes the post of nonbinary, as it is not a third gender, it simply any experience not fitting within the western concept of the gender binary (if the person so chooses to identify as such. if you cant tell already, the nonbinary experience is varied between every single nonbinary person.) important to note also that no widely accepted bisexual text defines bisexual as attracted to exclusively two genders or even the "two or more genders". i know this is used a lot but please read the bisexual manifesto. its free online i promise.

some people also claim pansexuals experience "genderblind" attraction while bisexuals feel differently attracted to different genders. this is very nitpicky for whats supposed to be two unconnected idenities, but thats only part of the problem. this definition is also not in any widely accepted bisexual texts, and bisexuality has never excluded those who experience genderblind attraction. i am in fact a bi person who experiences genderblind attraction. this does not mean i am not bisexual. it simply means i experience bisexuality differently than other bisexuals, and thats wonderful! no broad communities like bisexuality are expected to all share the same experience. we are all so different and its amazing were able to come together under the bisexual flag.

last definition, or justification i should say, is that yes these definitions are redundant and theyre the same sexuality, but people prefer different labels and thats okay. i agree in principle. people can define themselves as many things like homosexuals or gays or lesbians or queers or even other reclaimed slurs, while still not labelling themselves under the most "common" or "accurate" labels.

but pansexuality isnt the same as bisexuality, which may sound silly but hear me out. it has been continually used as a way to further divide bisexuals, who are already subject to large amounts of lgbta discrimination. "pansexuality was started by trans people who were upset with transphobia within the bisexual community! it cant be transphobic OR biphobic!" except of course that it can and it is. to say that trans people cant be transphobic is absurd. transmedicalism is right there, but thats not what im getting at. all minorities can have internal and sometimes external biases against people who are the same minority as them.

pansexuality was started as a way to be trans inclusive at the expense of labelling bisexuality as transphobic when its not. transphobia is everywhere, and bisexuals are not exempt. instead of working on the transphobia within the community, the creators of pansexuality decided to remove themselves from it to create a better and less tainted word and community, and the fact that pansexuality is intended to replace bisexuality or leave it for the transphobes goes to show a few things. pansexuality and bisexuality are inherently linked because the pan label is in response to the bi label. due to its origins, it is inherently competing with bisexuality and it cant be "reclaimed" from its biphobic roots. pansexuality is not a whole, separate, and valid label. its a biphobic response to issues within the bisexual community.

to top off this post, heres something a full grown adult once said to me. in person. she was my roommate. "i feel like im pan because im attracted to trans people. trans women, trans men, i could definitely date them. but not nonbinary people because thats gross and weird." she saw pan as trans inclusive and defined herself that way as opposed to bi which is shitty!

also a little extra tidbit about my experiences identifying as pan. i saw myself as better than every bi person. all of them. even my trans and bi friends. whenever they brought up being bisexual i would think to myself "why dont you identify as pansexual? its better and shows people you support trans people." because i was made to believe bisexuality didnt and was therefore inferior. thats the mindset that emerged from my time in the pansexual community. i am so sorry to all of my bisexual friends even if they never noticed. i love you all and hope you have a great day. this also goes to any bisexuals or people who identify as bi in anyway, such as biromantic or simply bi. love you all.

ummm yeah heres some extra reading i found helpful and relevant. here and here. also noooo dont disagree with me and unfollow me im so sexy 🥴🥴🥴

#if u have follow up questions ill probably answer them 2morrow #if u ask something just be nice its my birthday 🙄🙄#anyways time to tag this lol !#pansexuality #biphobia #transphobia #q slur #long post #my post #ask to tag maybe??

11 notes · View notes

koreandragon · 3 years

Note

heyy! i hope this doesn't come off as rude, i'm just tryna clear up some things. nationalism is obv bad but i still think that knetz are valid for being upset. this is their history we're talking about, it's smth they're very sensitive about and it doesn't just affect one or two people it affects the entire country. im not saying they shouldnt have been mad abt those other shows as well, but that doesnt invalidate them feeling uneasy about this. amongst many other things, if i were to (1/?)

compare, historical fiction still has elements of truth to it. for example, king sejong means a lot to korean ppl and he was depicted terribly, its like depicting martin luther king as a conman. which is completely false and unnecessarily provokes the audience. the drama production should have known that this was bound to happen and they are to blame tbh. maybe you're not asian so this doesn't resonate with you, but i still think it's wrong to say this is a trivial matter when it isnt (2/2)

same anon from before - last thing to add- just wanted to say im sorry once again if i sounded rude or said smth offensive - totally not my intention! just wanted to show a diff side to things, hope you don't mind! have a nice day! (3/3)

first off thank you for explaining nicely, if we were on twitter people would’ve ripped out my throat.

i guess i’m just confused about why a fantasy drama about zombie exorcists has to be necessarily historically accurate when it also has the disclaimer at the beginning “this drama is fictional and does not accurately depict actual people, incidents or a specific period”. why this drama specifically when so many other dramas distorted history before, making horrible rulers out to be good guys and vica versa. i guess i’m really viewing this with a western eye because cancelling an entire drama after two episodes aired and putting all the people who worked on it, even the actors getting injured on set out of a job this easily is somehow difficult to wrap my head around. with river where the moon rises they just recast the MALE LEAD but they still didn’t stop production when they literally had to refilm everything. i just feel horrible for everyone involved and everyone who worked hard on this drama

#ask #Anonymous

6 notes · View notes

sleepypeaky · 4 years

Text

{getaway} final, pt.4

Reader is the Blinder’s chauffeur….naturally that entails getaway driving too

Part 4/4 ———-part 1, part 2 , part 3

also this was unintentional but the reader is gender neutral

WC: 1458

Warnings: Shooting, blood, dramaaa

A/n: set just after season 5, like the day after the last episode.

and no this isnt historically accurate obvs but i had to do it to write the fucking thing

tnis is so fun to write so try and stop me. this is kind of a Finn x reader?? idk?? finn is my wife?? but he also smol gay boi?? im confused.

“Where’s Finn!?!” Ada yelled as she kicked open the door to Tommy’s study.

Tommy was at his desk with his head down. Arthur ventured to answer,

“We haven’t seen him since the speech. Johnny Dogs said (y/n) went to look for him.”

“Arthur that was 12 hours ago! They could be hurt!”

RING

Tommy raised his head and grabbed the phone.

“What?”

He eyes widened.

He slammed the phone back down on the receiver, and scrambled to his feet.

“Mosley’s been shot.”

They stared at each other.

Ada gasped.

“Oh my god.”

They all ran out the door.

“NO NO NO NO FUCK! FUCK!” You screamed into the steering wheel.

To say that you were speeding was an understatement, you were going so fast that you weren’t sure the car could handle it.

And at the same time, to make things even more dangerous, you were flicking your gaze to Finn’s marbled complection.

“Finn Finn come on come onnnn!” You slapped his face lightly, trying to wake him up.

He made a breathy groan, you weren’t sure if it was voluntary, but at least he was alive.

You cursed yourself,

“FUCK (y/n)!! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!” You yanked the wheel to the right and were thrown along with it as the car screeched into the direction you gave it.

You were almost at the hospital. It wasn’t smart considering what had just happened, but by the amount of blood you figured it was either this or him dying, and you were not taking that chance.

And this was far enough away that maybe it would just be passed off as a casualty of one of the many daily gang shootings.

You tore into the hospital driveway and slammed on the brakes, the tires were so shot from the drive that you skidded about 3 feet.

Throwing open the door and screaming for help, you sprinted around the car and flung open the passenger side door, grabbing finn’s face in you hands and trying to call him out of the depths of his mind.

“Finn finn wake up please please.” You cried.

His head lolled in your hands, but his eyelids fluttered, you whimpered with relief.

Two men with a stretcher came up behind you.

You let them to him and watched as they ran him inside.

Your legs, as heavy as led, followed suit.

_______________

Ada sat frozen in the passenger seat of the car. A million thoughts going through her head.

She had her eyes pressed shut, hoping to anyone that would listen that her suspicions weren’t true.

Tommy’s hands were gripping the steering wheel so hard they resembled a skeleton’s. His face was in its usual stone mask, but his eyes were wind and active, no doubt thinking the same thoughts as Ava.

Arthur was silent in the backseat.

They pulled up to the scene and halted the car. Police were everywhere. The rain obscured the scene and oddly made it seem less intense than it was.

Two black tarps lay out on the ground.

Tommy sped over to them and in one swift motion, looked under each. The officers on the scene had recognized him and were awaiting his arrival, so they let this trespassing happen.

Though he let none of this show on his face, Tommy stood up and was relieved, both in seeing Mosley with half a skull, and seeing that the other body wasn’t Finn.

Maybe he wasn’t involved after all.

Nevertheless, before he went to speak to the press and police, he nodded to Ada: the signal to check the hospitals just in case.

_________

“I’m sorry you can’t come in here.”

A nurse grabbed your arm.

You looked at her in a daze,

“but..but...”

She looked apologetic and led you to a chair.

You looked down at yourself: your left shirt sleeve was drenched up to the elbow in blood from holding onto him during the car ride. As well as many other spaces on your clothes. And no doubt the car seat was completely ruined.

But all that was moot.

Because you gave into Finn he was fucking bleeding out in the other room. Why didn’t you just fucking say no? No Finn, we are not going to assassinate a parliament member. No Finn, i won’t drive you. Maybe you thought that you being there would somehow protect him? Doesn’t matter.

You leaned your head back against the wall and closed your eyes.

You sat like that for who-knows-how long when you heard your name called.

“(y/n)!?”

You stumbled to you feet, looking around for the nurse who called your name. Instead, you locked eyes with Ada.

A sob escaped your mouth as she ran towards you.

“Jesus fuck (y/n)! What happened?!” She held you.

You lowered you voice,

“I don’t know why i didn’t stop him. I could have but didn’t.”

She inhaled and nodded softly,

“It was you then.” She whispered.

You nodded,

“So fucking stupid–”

“At least you were fuckin’ there! If you weren’t there he would be under that black tarp with the faschist.” She harsh-whispered.

I made you feel a tad better, but still.

_____

Polly walked to the ringing phone with a usual speed.

“Hello?”

“Pol, it’s Ada.”

She tilted her head,

“What happened.”

Ada sighed over the phone,

“Finn is in the hospital, i’ll explain when you get here.”

“Jesus– not again. I’ll be right there.”

She shook her head and went to the door.

_______

“HE DID WHAT?!”

“Shhhh! Pol!”

Polly looked around to see if she was the only sane person in the room. Surely it wasn’t out of line to react like this.

She looked over at where you were sitting, still covered in blood and leaning on your hand.

“This family needs to calm the fuck down.”

“Not likely, pol.”

_____

The appearance of feet in your sightline brought you back to reality.

You looked up.

“He’s resting now, he’ll be ok.”

You stood up, shaky.

You gestured to Polly and Ada.

“Can we see him?”

The nurse nodded and led you to his room.

_____

6 hours later

The first thing that moved were his fingers, they looked as if he were playing an invisible piano on the white sheets.

Finn opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings. White walls, his feet, you passed out in a chair.

He smirked,

“Oi.” He croaked.

He watched your eyelids snap open confusingly, then they made contact with his.

“Tired?” he jested.

You glared,

“You’re a bastard Finn Shelby. A right bastard.”

You stood up and looked down over his bed, you flicked his nose.

“Ow wha’ the fuck!?”

“That,” you slipped, “Was for draggin me into this mess and then making me save your ass.”

“yeah thats fair.”

You sat down again, but pushed the chair closer. You took one of his hands.

“I don’t want to be covered in your blood again.”

He grunted,

“Can’t guarantee anything.”

You smiled at his humor, but you felt sad inside.

“I can’t lose any more of you.”

He understood what you meant. John and you had been close, you were like an extra sibling.

Finn turned his hand so that your’s fell in place. He squeezed.

“I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

You smiled again and lay you head down on the bed beside his shoulder.

It was here that Finn felt good, where he could embrace the quiet sensuality of plain love. Not forced, or made to behave differently, he could be himself.

He leaned his head atop yours.

________

1 Day later

“and in conclusion, you are never, to ever, do anything like that ever again. Not, that there will be an occasion to do so.”

Tommy finished his drastically long scolding of Finn.

“And (y/n), i want to be mad, but essentially the same goes to you as well. But you were doing your job, and i’m glad Finn wasn’t alone. At least there was one working brain in the plan.”

You blinked,

“I still have a job?”

Tommy chuckled,

“What, you thought this would change that? I did tell you there would be excitement didn’t i?”

“Yeah, my body feels real excited.” Finn groaned from the bed, rubbing the bandages that were wrapped around his midsection.

“Yeah but thats what you get.” You said.

He frowned.

_____

1930

The car rumbled beneath you, and with the windows down, your hair cooled in the breeze.

You looked into your mirrors, he was gaining on you.

“Fool.” You muttered.

Your foot lowered further on the gas.

The finish line was in sight,

Whoosh.

Again, not a surprising victory.

You eased off the gas and began the process of stopping the car.

The screech of brakes continued until you exited the car.

You threw up your hands,

“Really?! I thought i taught you better than that Shelby!”

Finn flipped you off and hopped out of his car.

“Well i’m not insane, like someone know.”

you punched his arm.

“Bastard.”

“Lunatic.”

You looked up at him and grinned.

He did the same.

He leaned down and kissed you, you returning it naturally.

You smiled into the kiss, before reaching up and grabbing his hat.

You broke off and frisbeed his hat into the grass.

“Race you!” You squealed as you ran to your car.

Finn stood in confusion at how quick that progressed.

You got back in the car, and started the engine.

_____________

The End

#Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fic #finn shelby #finn shelby imagine #blinder!reader #i liked this so much

49 notes · View notes

shitposts-and-countryhumans-hell · 5 years

Text

Mun & Friend talking about countryhumans 01

WARNING!! THIS IS A REALLY LONG POST

The full post will be under the read more. and it has been copy/pasted (with the friend’s consent) almost exactly how it was in the chat thing we were using.

(For reference, M = me F = friend)

M: i recently got dragged into sanother fandom of sorts F: Oh? M: yea M: countryhumans is the fandom i kinda fell into recently it's like someone fused hetalia & countryballs/polandball they don't sugarcoat the history eaither tho im s bit concerned on the matter of one ship in the fandom that a lot of the ppl apparently like F: Oh? M: yea F: What ship? M: USSR x Third Reich aka USSR x Nazi Germant *germany F: ....why? M: idk bc in irl history they were allies? i gues??? tho personally i dont see that ship actually working out. At best they'd get along like a house on fire. F: No??? They weren’t allies M: my brain made me logically think about how that ship would like work and i hate my brain now there was a nonaggression pact and they both took over poland as allies that changed in june 1941 when nazi germany brok the nonaggression pact by invading F: Ah oks. I didn’t know that M: cool also like, i dont get y the fandom sees that ship as a rly fluff/healthy/functional relationship at best the two'd prob get along like a house on fire and that's if the romantic feelings were for both sides which they prob wouldn't b realistically and taking history into account, i can make the logical conclution that third reich is a violent niceguy^tm F: Really? M: the whole breaking the nonaggression pact thing it was a pretty sweet gig for when the two were allies so, logically, if only one side had romantic attraction and the other only saw it as a coworker sort of relationship, and the one who had the romantic feelings happened to be a violent nicrguy^tm well i think that you can get what im getting at here F: Yeah I think I can

[[we both kinda veer off topic for a bit]]

M: also like, a good deal of the fandom somehow unconciously aggrees that USSR got mcfukin thanos snapped but i mean, the irl ussr did kinda fall aprt so it's not THAT far off historically speaking

[[we sorta go off topic for a little bit]]

M: did you know that some people have made a RusAme ship child F: Really? M: just like, im baffled bc of how that would be bilogically possible and yes F: How??? M: like do new countryhumans just pop into existance or is it a sexual reproduction thing bc i sure af dont know mayb its a combination idrk F: maybe it was a new country? M: no it was def a ship child design uncreative name tho F: wtf M: the person literally just named them the ship name F: what's the name? M: Rusame F: really?? M: the person named it the name of the ship yea F: that's lazy as fuck M: yea i know there's a fukin fantasy country name generator y not use that F: that is true why not use that? M: mayb the person didnt kno about it or mayb they wanted to make it clear that it was a actual ship child idk F: or maybe they got lazy M: true F: i still question how that works M: same honestly it's gonna keep me up tonight never thought that i'd be staring at the ceiling for a hour trying to figure out how countryhumans have kids like... do they fuck? or...? F: i'm sticking with the theory that a new country was formed that was the equivalent of sex M: well since there really isnt any canon that i can think of in regards to that theory, you can see it that way i'm thinking that it's a combination of actual fucking and the new country just sorta popping into existance F: i could see that M: must b p awkward for the ones fucking tho lol just doin the thing an then suddenly a child just pops into existance ll *lol F: Lol thats true M: but also, since the fandom subconciously aggreess that russia is ussr's son that means that ussr cannonly fucks and i... dont know what to do with that information F: my question is who did ussr fuck to get russia? M: idk prob not third reich tho F: that's true did...did it fuck itself? M: i dont think so?? thats not how sexual reproduction works that may work in asexual reproduction maybe, but not sexual reproduction F: but what country can do that with the ussr and have russia? M: idk also i cant beilive that were actually talking about this F: how countries can fuck i can't either M: wait a lot of the fandom sees uk & france as america's parents thEY FUCKED F: i think it was an orgy cause spain and dutch M: ok true oml that's sorta historically accurate *wheezing with laughter* F: i mean it's not that far off M: yea true but there's also canada & australia to think about too bc the fandom kinda sees them & usa as sibs so : ) F: wait i'm just thinking of all the states that were under other countries rule and just became states for america does that mean they became america's sex slaves? M: adopoted children or sibs E W NO im thinking they're either nonexistant or just sorta adopted sibs or something i mean usa & uk did kinda have a falling out in history F: that's true. and amarica did take a lot from britain M: usa had a teenage rebellion that caused the two to kinda dislike eachother p heavily also like, some ppl see some other countries as ussr's kids as well, and my reasearch showed that saud countries that those saw as ussrs kida were some of the ones that made up the ussr irl so in the ch verse ussr has fucked multiple times and i... dont know what to do w/ that information... F: i wonder if the roman empire is a person in this world too M: mayb they're prob like dead but mayb also apparently the irl ussr was made up of 15 diff countries ch ussr fucks and prob woulve continoed to fuck if he didn't get mcfukin thanos snapped F: lmao M: also like i kinda feel sorry for the dude he had 15 kids 15 F: he probably didn't get any sleep like at all M: lol yea constantly shows p late w/ tsarbucks (als no that is not a typo it's a pun lmao) F: lol

#mun speaks #long post #shitposts-and-countryhumans-hell #mun & friend talks about countryhumans #countryhumans #countryhuman #shitpost idea #shitpost ideas #hoo boy #im gonna need to draw some of these things #eventually

16 notes · View notes

nofeartina · 5 years

Note

Hello! First i want to say that i really like your new fic, i cant wait to see how it will play out. ( One chapter a week isnt enough :'( hehe ) I have 2 questions about it tho: what year is it set in? (Im sorry if its mentionned i might have missed it) and was it a thing that actually happened irl, 2 men marrying each other for the benefit of their countries even though they didnt love each other?? I never learned scandinavian history and im curious about it! Thank you! :)

Hi sweet anon.

Yay, it makes me so happy to hear that you like my new fic! :D

I’ve tagged it “fantasy” and “made-up historical times” because it’s really a jumble of different times. Instead of accuracy, I went for aesthetics. xD So Isak might look a bit like a Viking, but he’s fighting with a sword and rides a horse. Let’s just say it’s set in ye olden days. hahah

I’ve never heard that it’s something that has happened in Scandinavia as such so two men marrying in this way isn’t very historical accurate at all. But it fits in this story sooo.... I’m totally taking some liberties with this fic, or else I would never get it written. I hope it doesn’t ruin the story completely for you!

Thanks for asking! If you have any more questions about the setting of the fic, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’ve never really written a fic before with this kind of worldbuilding. :) I hope you’re having a great evening. :)

#as i let you in #my first story with real worldbuilding #sorry if it's not easy to understand #I tried! :)#Anonymous

4 notes · View notes

comicteaparty · 5 years

Text

May 23rd, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on May 23rd, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Maiden of the Machine by Caitlin Like.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! Our final Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Maiden of the Machine by Caitlin Like~! (https://maidenmachine.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

i think my favorite scene so far is when elizabeth and victor decide to sleep together. part in for its serious drama. theres so many questions about victor created from just the visuals, and then theres the stakes at hand of elizabeth's reputation. but then, there is also a good balance of comic relief to a degree since victor told her to ask no questions and she asks the one question that he probably didnt see coming. all around it was a pretty satisfactor culmination of their relationship so far at a juncture that felt natural.

another scene i really enjoyed was the ball scene where victor and eric are having a chat about elizabeth and then elizabeth and victor have a passionate liason. im mostly a fan cause of the dramatic convo. cause theres a deep and terrible sense that both characters truly know what their risking, what the situation is, and how they still are into each other. plus, its all very tense cause it just takes one person being in the wrong place at the wrong time to blow their cover.

honestly i think itd be accurate to say all my favorite scenes are with elizabeth and victor. romance is one of those genres i can struggle with, because theres always something missing. but oh man do i love the romance in this comic. there is nothing more i want than to see then elizabeth and victor finding a way to be together in spite society trying to kick that down at every turn.

i will give a special shout out to the scene where eric, abhaya, milo, and the cousin are meeting to discuss the affairs of the estate. i just like it because it basically shows all the characters' worst sides. abhaya is brash and reckless, milo is just kind of there, and eric is a greedy mofo. and whats worse is literally none of them thought to bring elizabeth. they may have their excuses of protecting her...but part of me still thinks thats a super dick move and shows even abhaya just kind of views elizabeth more as a pawn than a person. but all in all, nothing like money and estates to show off everyone's worst traits. it is very true to life, and i can respect that.

another non-victor/elizabeth scene i respect is the scene where elizabeth is out dress shopping and eric is like here i got you these dresses. just cause i knew eric was kind of a creep, but ho boy, he dialed the creep up to number 11 on a 10 meter scale. but at the same time, i think that really helped to erase all sympathy i might have had for him. thus paving the way for me to not really feel guilty on elizabeth's behalf for her trespasses against him.

mathtans

Hello, I made it... unfortunately this is a rather bad week, I only made it through the first two chapters.

RebelVampire

i also like scenes with west in them. cause I like that between all the people around Victor, West seems the most honest in a scoundrel sort of way. Which that is basically what I like about him in every scene. He causes trouble and pushes the limits, but at the same time hes always at least pretty upfront about his intentions.

thats unfortunate cause its a great comic, but glad to see you anyway math!

mathtans

Which kind of sucks, I like the whole concept of the kick ass ladies. Even the pirates.

Maybe I'll find time to read more in the background.

The bit I liked most of what I read I think was back in the first chapter, when Elizabeth makes the callback to when she got out of the ropes at the very start of the story. It was a nice subtle detail which I found very clever.

I'm not at your bits yet but I can see how the Elizabeth/Victor thing is being set up. Also there seems to be some question of whether Abhaya likes him... or possibly other ladies? I may be reading my own interests into that.

RebelVampire

you may be reading your own interests but later on there is a female character i ship abhaya with atm

so there is that

i dont think youve met her yet tho

mathtans

Also, yeah, the whole estate thing creates an interesting dynamic. That was a clever way of using the period to generate conflicts.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. A large focus of the comic is on Elizabeth and Victor’s relationship. At the end of the day, do you think the two will find a way to be together? If so, how will they get over the scandal Elizabeth would face and the fact those around Victor want him to marry a titled woman? If you don’t believe they’ll find a way to stay together, what will stop them? Further, given the most recent events, how will Eric Wollstonecraft play a role in the future of their love story? How does the narration framing seen where Elizabeth is addressing her potential son affect your opinion? How do you think that future came about, and how soon will it come to pass? Last, what do you think of their relationship in terms of Elizabeth wanting to make her own choices in life?

mathtans

I ship Abhaya with everyone.

RebelVampire

yeah i have to say if theres one thing i appreciate its combination of progressive themes while at the same time acknowledging that the period was not the friendliest towards these things

especially in regards to how elizabeth is treated since her only purpose apparently to everyone is to get hitched to a titled guy

and i mean

thats depressing

yet also true to the period

even though we get to see elizabeth take a journey and reject those social conventions

in regards to the current question, i am choosing not to think about whether in the long term elizabeth and victor will get together for the rest of their lives. because if they dont i will cry but i could see this realistically being the case given the tone of the narration. cause that...does not sound like an elizabeth who lives in eternal happiness.

mathtans

Back, sorry. Yeah, I'm usually not much of one for period pieces, but I like the narrative viewpoint. Also, pretty neat airships.

There was the point where she talked about leaving Victor behind back in Chapter 1 (I don't recall the exact circumstances) but I wondered if it was because he causes her heartache, or just because it make their lives more complicated.

Incidentally, the first thing I thought of with the name "Lovelace" was Lady Ada Lovelace. The mathematician. Not sure if that was an intentional reference to another well regarded woman.

RebelVampire

i love period pieces but i think the steampunk aspects help twist it enough to make it a bit more unique.

mathtans

(I don't think the time frames synch up but I don't recall when the comic takes place...)

Oh, it's definitely unique. I like the gadget aspect too.

RebelVampire

i would not be surprised if the name choice was purposeful. if only because the comic has lots of strong ladies. i doubt well see any real historical figures though.

i appreciate that the comic actually kind of starts off with the airship escapade

cause it really showcases the ways in which their world differs

where you get airships

and sky pirates

mathtans

That's a good point. Helps with the world building before we get down into some of the classic period issues.

RebelVampire

yes. and i also kind of like it starts off more action-y. not that there isnt action bits later mind you. but more i think it helps set up the main conflict while tying in the romance. because it makes it so the romance isnt some forced subplot. rather its kind of integral and has as much to do with the whole highjacking as the rest of the story. since later on youll see that elizabeth's proximity to victor keeps bring that part of the story into the limelight

mathtans

That's a good point, in terms of tying things together. Also possibly sets up a key antagonist (or at least revenge plot) in that burned pirate lady.

RebelVampire

she does come back

i will spoil that much

mathtans

I figured she had to some time, whether it was by the present updates or not.

I've resumed reading a bit in the background. Seems like both the Watson ladies are doing their best to get arrested. ^.^

RebelVampire

well at least Abhaya is.

cause Abhaya is a risk taker who puts herself in many situations where people are gonna stop and stare

mathtans

Well, yes. But Elizabeth also seems to be taking risks where Victor is concerned. Or at least stepping out of her comfort zone.

Certain people have certain effects on us I guess.

RebelVampire

nah thats true. I just think Elizabeth just takes more social risks. Like not the kind that are gonna get her arrested, but more the kind that are gonna get her socially shunned.

whereas Abhaya is the punch one who is gonna get charged with assault

mathtans

That seems like a valid viewpoint. It fits with their personalities when we saw them in their youth.

The cutting back and forth between the two sisters in Chapter 3 is well done.

RebelVampire

yeah in general i like the PoV switching of the comic. because every scene is pretty well-chosen and advances the plot in some manner. and it lets us see others parts of the comic developing. cause later on you do get to see more of victor without elizabeth some and get to go "hmm" to all that hes up to.

mathtans

Ha! I like Chapter 3, page 31, where all the dialogue seems to fade out as Victor touches her. Cute.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Besides romance, there is a larger plot posing real and deadly danger to the characters. Who do you think the Angel is? What are the Angel’s goals, and why is she excessively targeting Victor? Further, what do you think the source of her power is? Also, what does have kidnapping people like Ambrose have to do with her goals? Alternatively, is Ambrose there of his own free will (and if so, why)? Considering Abhaya is being sought by Amabel for help, what do you think Abhaya will do? Will Abhaya be able to uncover more of the truth, or is Abhaya just going to get herself into more trouble? How will Abhaya’s involvement affect Elizabeth and herself? Last, can Amabel be trusted, or is it possible she’ll abandon Abhaya when Abhaya might need her?

spoiler Amabel is who I ship Abhaya with

mathtans

Related to those questions, I do wonder a bit if Victor has a sordid past or something. Like maybe his empire wasn't entirely built on the up-and-up... with his knowledge or possibly without it. So there could be a reason there for him to be targeted.

I've looked on the character page and I approve this ship.

RebelVampire

oh yeah. Victor is 100% definitely a scoundrel. There is one scenes that really hints at this, but even before that i agree with you. Victor is not on the up and up entirely. I don't think he made his fortune without cracking a few skulls.

although idk if this is what makes him a target persay

or maybe it oes

but more in the way hes done the forbidden when it comes to tech

mathtans

Was he totally aware of the repercussions of whatever he did though? Because the people around him seem to like to keep him in the dark.

brb

RebelVampire

im sure he knew the repercussions. the people around him are more about keeping him in the dark about romantic matters. cause as was implied by one of the questions later on you find out the main thing ppl arent telling victor is that elizabeth is just there to open him up to the idea of marriage so he can marry a titled lady

cause everyone is all about those titles

In regards to the current question while you're away, I think Abhaya will help Amabel and get herself caught and get into a whole mess of trouble that for once, Elizabeth will have to break her out of. But I think it'll be a dual sword cause I do think Elizabeth's relationship to both Abhaya and Victor is gonna put her in the crosshairs. cause like, what an easy way to get Victor to show up. Get Elizabeth, tell Victor you'll never see her again if you don't show up.

as for the angel's goals, I feel shes on a path of vengence against the entire world, but particularly victor cause hes high up there in the industrialist chain

and knows something she doesnt and that she needs to bring her plans to fruition

mathtans

Back. Okay, that does make sense, darn titles.

Interesting, this Angel talk. I wonder if it's the same "angel" we see in the title card for Chapter 2?

Sounds like you think it's not personal, the Angel's path, merely that Victor is a convenient figurehead.

RebelVampire

i mean the angel is kind of the one from the title card. those are her wings for sure, though she doesnt look quite like that the one time you meet her

it could be personal, but i feel like the angel just has bigger fish to fry

from the impression i got from her

since shes kidnapping a ton of ppl

and you dont need to kidnap ppl to your cause if all youre doing is hunting down some industrialist

who almost got caught

if not for abhaya and elizabeth

mathtans

Ah, so she's the one behind the disappearances then.

(Still reading in the background.)

RebelVampire

yes. i mean its pretty implied but you get confirmation later that yes its her. though you can definitely speculate on the why

cause i have no clue

shes still enigmatic

mathtans

Looking for a husband? ^.^

RebelVampire

shes reading the wrong romance advice book

when elizabeth and her meet, elizabeth will point her in the right direction

and the angel is like "oh wait so youre not supposed to kidnap them? huh?"

mathtans

And then we ship Angel and Elizabeth.

RebelVampire

no. ill ship Abhaya and Angel

Elizabeth and Victor are the OTP

i said but then was like "nah id totally ship Elizabeth with West"

mathtans

Heh. That's fair, they are the main couple. Though West is an interesting guy, just needs to learn social cues.

RebelVampire

nah thats why west is amazing

he doesnt know social cues

and is awkward

yet helpful

and hes the only dude of victor's who seems to be in elizabeth's corner

mathtans

Right. I think it was said that he's not used to the lifestyle?

RebelVampire

yes that is what he said

which makes me want a side chapter just about what he did before he came to victor

cause i dont feel like victor would just hire some rando. he must of seen something in west

mathtans

Maybe he took pity on the guy, something about the scar.

RebelVampire

that could be cause victor understands the burden of scars

or something like that

whereas i just think west's scar gives him character

QUESTION 4. Mixed in with the present drama is a lot of unsolved past drama. Who do you think Victor really is? What do you think happened to Victor based on Milo’s story that he was telling Abhaya? How do you think Victor managed to overcome this to become the person he is today? Also, what do you make of the room Victor seemed to have sealed off in his house? Besides Victor, there is also a lot of drama between Jules, Abhaya, and Milo. What do you think happened between the three of them that managed to damage their relationship forever? Will spending more time together heal their wounds, or is it impossible at this point? Further, what was Jules up to the whole time he was away with Victor? Last, what do you think Jules’ goals were for introducing Elizabeth and Victor, and why does he seem immensely conflicted about her presence?

mathtans

Sorry, biab

RebelVampire

kay

I think Victor was some fellow servant kid who was Jules' only friend after Jules got sent away. And then Victor almost died. Although I'm changing my previous speculations. Maybe the Angel is more literal and she literally showed up, saved Victor with tech with the promise to return, and then left. So now shes back for her comeuppance. Meanwhile, Victor decided technology was great and he needed to bring it to the world cause it was what would keep him alive and save others.

as for the three, at this juncture it seems pretty heavily implied Milo and Jules were in a relationship and that Milo called off the wedding to Abhaya cause he didnt want to live a lie in regards to how he felt about Jules. Regardless of the what, while Milo i feel will legitimately forgive and forget, I dont feel Abhaya or Jules will. Abhaya cause she doesnt seem the type to ever forgive ever. And to just hold onto her hatred and seethe. Jules in the meantime I think wont forgive until he gets revenge in some way. Cause the two probably betrayed his trust big time and he kind of got the most screwed over by what happened

i think Jules wanted them to meet for the exact reason that the others implied: they want Victor to warm up to the idea of women so he can get married. However, I feel Jules now feels like a jerk who is taking out his anger at Abhaya on Elizabeth who had 0% to do with what happened between the three. and yet he knows hes in too deep to turn back now.

mathtans

Could be that Victor was initially poor... in fact maybe he married into the company somehow? Could the Angel be his wife? o.o

I wondered about Milo and Jules. My initial thought had been that Abhaya had called off the engagement though, so that's an interesting other look at things.

Jules and Elizabeth were close too, back in the day. One wonders if he's that good at seeing how things play out long term.

RebelVampire

nah its definitely his company. but victor was probably poor. if only cause everyone calls him new money. so it means he has no predecessor parent who made their fortune.

Jules strikes me more as the type who things hes great at planning but really, really, really isnt

and then tons of consequences come about that he has to accept and deal with

mathtans

That makes sense and could explain the sympathy for West too, maybe he knows West even though it doesn't necessarily go both ways.

Yeah, Jules seems to think he's got everything well in hand but he doesn't seem to account for the human factor.

Made it to the end of Chapter 4/Act 1 now. Apparently the Angel kidnaps people to literally graft wings onto her spine. Ouch.

Interesting callback to Victor's wounded leg though.

RebelVampire

i think even more than the human factor, Jules is just bad at making plan Bs for when things do go wrong. then panics and makes bad decisions

like not telling victor the factory is in danger

mathtans

Maybe that thing that Victor has in the factory is a time machine. Turns out he's actually from the future, he brought back all the technology and that's why the Angel is after him, she thinks it's stolen.

You're not wrong there, about Jules.

RebelVampire

ya know...i can support this time traveler theory. i mean it doesnt quite fit considering flashbacks

but id 100% buy victor built a time machine

cause why not

victor is amazing

mathtans

Maybe his company is corrupt because they're still trying to get the patents.

RebelVampire

i mean

its a company

so its probably corrupt to some degree regardless

mathtans

That's also a good point.

RebelVampire

i mean i can point out the fact they want victor to marry a titled lady to be a form of corruption. cause thats just marrying someone to advance your social standing for the business

mathtans

I guess we're near the end... haven't said anything about the art yet. I suppose I like the shading, and I thought the sound effect use was clever.

Need someone to star in the commercials.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my wife loves this new device I call a roomba."

RebelVampire

i really love the clothes. i mean theyre simple, and yet all seem to fit within the period that this comic is trying to go for

but if they get a roomba what are the house wives supposed to do

not sit at home cooking and cleaning all day?

also about the art, i really love the steampunk designs. you can definitely tell the steampunk inspiration in them, yet theyre really unique and not really like any steampunk ive seen before

and i can for sure appreciate uniqueness

mathtans

Yeah, that's true. And there was that neat detail of the corset being laced up the front, I wouldn't have thought of that.

Uniqueness is good. I wonder what the machine connection will end up being.

With the whole "maiden of the machine" thing there. (Won't be a roomba, after all.)

RebelVampire

ah thats a good point as well. i loved that detail about the maid being able to tell elizabeth didnt have a maid

mathtans

Maybe Elizabeth gets upgraded too.

RebelVampire

the comic was about the angel all along

and the angel's victory

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up our final Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Caitlin Like, as well, for making Maiden of the Machine. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Caitlin Like’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://maidenmachine.com/

Caitlin Like’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/CaitlinLike

Caitlin Like’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/caitlike

Caitlin Like’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/caitlike

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #maiden of the machine #caitlin like

1 note · View note

surprisebitch · 6 years

Note

Do you know any non fantasy non romance-centric anime?

non fantasy and non romance-centric.. so i’m thinking of anime with no magic, supernatural themes, and other fantasy stuff.. and no main romance hmm okay.. so here are some titles that come to mind:

Rurouni Kenshin - historical or period anime.. samurai era and no magic involved.. pure skill and a brilliant intriguing story

Psycho Pass - it’s dystopian sci-fi.. so i’m not sure if you would consider that as fantasy.. i feel like it isnt fantasy because there is no magic.. and it’s about crimes and focuses on psychological elements. it feels realistic too like the future could probably look like this if technology was so advanced

Love Live! School Idol Project - students from an all girls school become idols to save their school from shutting down. no magic and it isnt romance centric but there are many ships that could arise.. feels wlw (NozoEli is canon btw). but yeah, it really is more about the girls and their journey to becoming school idols

Neon Genesis Evangelion - dystopian sci-fi. if you think robots which can be created in the future are fantasy then sorry.. but this anime feels like a deconstruction of the mecha genre.. and it actually feels more psychological sci-fi than fantasy. the human psyche is the main theme. and it also has one of the best plot twists

Gakuen Babysitters - slice of life. it’s about a babysitter club! cute babies, adorable characters. very wholesome

Yakitate Japan - an anime about baking! from what i recall, there’s no magic but some dishes can look magical. im pretty sure it’s pure skill and it can be accurate to reality. the drawings of the food look really delicious though haha so be ready to feel hungry

Prince of Tennis - self explanatory

Free! Iwatobi Swim Club - hot men swimming (i wouldve really enjoyed this one if only i wasnt so bothered bout the lack of nipples..) but yeah it’s a story bout swimming and camaraderie. lots of fanservice though.. but its good and entertaining that i can recommend it

Haikyuu - volleyball

i hope you find these recommendations useful! non fantasy anime which are non-romance centric is niche so it did take me a while to come up with titles i can recommend 😅do tell me if you decide to check one out and what you think!

#rec #recs #anime #a #anime rec #anime recs #Anonymous

64 notes · View notes

kalliekite-blog · 5 years

Text

not just a groupie part 2

roger taylor/ben hardy fanfiction

warnings: swearing + roger taylor hotness

disclaimer: this isnt historically accurate or good at all im sorry

words: 2500 i think?

A couple weeks pass, and I start to grow closer and closer to the band, constantly going to their gigs than going out to eat right after. It was Christmas Eve, and I was talking to my dad over the phone, missing him dearly.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask him, biting my lip in nervousness as Brian and Deaky look at me, giving me tips as I told him I couldn’t come home for Christmas.

“Sweetheart, I have Diane. We’re going to New York!” My American father spoke happily.

“I guess. I love you, dad. Call you tonight.” I said, hanging up when he said goodbye.

“See! How hard was that?” Brian said, putting his arm around me and hugging me close, as Deaky high fived me. We were in Brian’s apartment, hanging last minute ornaments for Brian hadn’t gotten a Christmas tree until this morning.

“So Christmas Eve dinner here, sleeping here, Christmas here, and then recording studio?” I say, chuckling.

“That’s a lot of Queen for two days.” I laugh, hanging an ornament that has Brian’s baby picture upon it.

“You know you love it,” Deaky said next, tripping over the many boxes filled with ornaments. I nodded, knowing he was right, I was so excited to spend my favorite holiday with my best friends. Soon enough, Mary and Freddie barge in giggling. Mary comes over to hug me, as now we are extremely close, spending almost every waking hour together. Freddie and Mary were now dating, they were the cutest couple. Roger walks in, sunglasses on and his long blonde hair down to his shoulders as always. I watch him come inside, a smirk spread across his face as he sees me.

“Hey Rog,” I say, starting to call him that nickname because I know he loves it when I call him that. His smirk spreads wider, winking at me suggestively. Brian saw this and cleared his throat, glaring angrily at Roger. He smirks at Brian, walking past me and into the kitchen, setting his drinks that he brought down. Mary had picked out the dress I was wearing, a tight red dress that was quite short, along with a white faux fur jacket. I knew it was a good outfit the second I had walked into Brian’s, his eyes looking me over.

“You look amazing McKenzie,” Mary told me, smiling as she looked at my outfit.

“All you,” I replied, actually enjoying this new look of mine.

“Okay. Dinner in ten, and we can have a few drinks, and Santa will come!” Brian exclaimed sarcastically. I laughed, walking into the kitchen to check on the steak.

“Like the dress, love,” Roger said as I opened the oven. I nodded, ignoring the heat that flushed to my cheeks. This flirting between us had gotten even stronger, him always putting his hand up my thigh, while in the recording studio him sitting next to me, his arm around me. I haven't shown any interest, but we both know how he makes me feel. No girls have been with him recently, and I know that made Brian angry. I think that’s partly why he does it, to make him angry.

“I think you’ll talk to me after your present.” He said, resting his arm against the countertop, peeking his head close to mine. I shut the oven door, releasing it needs a couple more minutes. I face him, smirking but trying to conceal it.

“Is that so?” I ask him. He nods, a smile creeping across his face, coming closer to me.

“Yeah, you’ll love it.” He whispers in my ear, making goosebumps spread across my body, and he walks back into the living room, leaving me speechless. Mary than walks in, giggling. She holds a drink in her hand, still laughing.

“You and Roger. Jesus, I could cut the sexual tension with a knife.” She says, filling up her drink a bit more.

“Mary, what’s going to happen tonight? I may have to sleep in the same bed as him, they’re only three. Maybe I could crash on the couch.” I worry, biting my lip again.

“Taken. Deaky’s sleeping on the couch so you’ll probably sleep alone, maybe Roger and Brian will share a bed.” She giggled at the thought of Brian and Roger sleeping together.

“Roger has been talking about you though, to Freddie. He really likes you.” She says, looking at me.

“I know, he told me. How he sees me as more than just another hookup. But, we haven’t even hooked up, he just flirts and I flirt back, it never goes anywhere.” I say, grabbing a beer out of the fridge.

“It’s gonna happen soon enough McK. You just gotta let it happen.” She says, and she walks out, smirking. I sigh, taking a huge swig of beer and walking out after her. Roger was sitting on the couch, cigarette in hand, bickering with Brian about smoking in the house. Mary and Freddie were hanging ornaments, and Deaky was scribbling in his notebook. I sit down next to Roger, snatching the cigarette out of his hand and taking a quick puff.

“McKenzie!” Brian spoke, grabbing it out of my hand and putting it in the ashtray.

“C’mon mate. Perfectly good cigarette.” He said, glaring back at Brian. I snickered, crossing my legs as I fish for my pack. I take it out of my coat pocket, as right as I open it a large hand snatches it out of my hand.

“What the hell, Brian?” I say, standing up, my dress coming up right below my butt, but I didn’t care.

“Smoking kills, McK.” He says laughing. I roll my eyes and reach to get it, but he swiftly turns around. I sigh, giving up and sitting back down. Mary brings the steak out to the table, and my stomach rumbles at the smell, realizing how starving I am. I get up and walk to the table, pulling my dress down as I can feel Roger’s eyes on me. I sit down at the table next to Deaky, Brian looking upset as Roger sits down next to me.

“Thanks so much for coming tonight, you all are truly my family, I love you all. Let’s get a cheer for Queen!” Brian exclaimed, raising his glass.

“To Queen!” We all said, our glasses tinging together. I smiled and took a sip, soon digging into my meal. I spoke with Mary about our plans while the boys were recording, and decided we would watch them for a bit then go for dinner. Soon enough, Roger’s hand fell right above my knee, as it usually was when we're together. His hand crept up farther up my leg, now only inches away from the tip of my dress. I took a huge sip of my drink, wanting nothing more than to put his hand up farther. Brian glared at Roger, as Roger was smirking at me as if he knew what he was doing to me. I stared ahead, listening to Freddie as he goes on and on about this new song he wanted to make. Roger’s hand crept farther and farther up to the end of my dress, playing with the fabric. I moved his hand off of me, not wanting to start anything at the table, but regretting my decision once his hand left me.

“I know you actually don’t want me to stop.” He whispered in his raspy voice, which made me look back at him in anger and lust, taking another colossal gulp of my drink. His hand stayed off of me for the rest of dinner, but I longed for it to be somewhere farther up my dress. Once dinner was over, it was quite late, and I was excited to open presents the next morning. I started to clear the table with Mary, the boys helping out here and there. Freddie and Mary soon disappeared into their room, giggles escaping from outside of the door. I laughed, washing a couple of dishes before going into the bedroom that I either had to myself or with one of the guys. I started to undress, making sure I locked the door before I took off my dress, putting on a short nightgown, tying my hair up into a ponytail. There was a knock on the door, and I opened it to see Roger, who was smirking.

“Hey, love.” He said, leaning his hand on the doorway.

“Rog,” I said back, knowing how much he loved when I called him that. He frowned, waiting for me to invite him in. He walked in himself, shutting the door behind him.

“Are you and Brian sleeping together?” He asked abruptly, and I quickly look at him in complete shock.

“What?!” I shout, offended by his question.

“No! No I mean like in the same bed, they’re only three! I- I was just wondering, not that! Not the other, um, thing.” He says, obviously worry shown in his eyes. I laugh, relieved.

“I don’t think so. Thought you two would be sharing a bed.” I joke.

“Very funny.” He says, not amused.

“No, no Rog. It’d be funny. You to would be in the same bed, maybe a little slip-up and-“ And then his lips are on yours. I stopped for a spirit second, going over the choices I could make, but I pushed them aside as I kissed Roger back, my hands going around his neck, softly playing with his hair. I feel his tongue in my mouth already, his soft lips against mine. I can feel a smile spread across his face, as he lowers me gently onto my bed, making my heart race. My hand reaches into his shirt, instantly feelings his abs, he starts to take off his shirt, so I’m in full view of his naked torso, my heart beating faster and faster. He leans in to kiss me again, my hands moving to cup his face in desperation. His lips go to my neck, sucking and nibbling as I pull him closer to me, not wanting to be anywhere else but here.

“What the hell?” A voice says as my door opens, and I look and see Deaky, standing in the doorway. I quickly push Roger off of me, my cheeks flushing.

“Just needed an extra blanket.” He says, reaching a basket to pull out a multi-colored blanket. Roger wipes his lips, shirt still off. Dinky winks at Roger and starts to leave.

“Stay safe.” He exits with, shutting the door in the process. I lay back on my bed, completely humiliated.

“I’m going to bed,” I say, even though I want nothing more than to continue. Roger looks stunned.

“You want me to leave? After what just happened?” He asks me, shirt still off.

“I’m sorry, Rog,” I say, feeling my neck as I realize the hickey that’s starting to form.

“Fuck,” I say, and Roger is soon putting his shirt back on, looking at me in desperation.

“Goodnight McK.” He says, smiling at me before he closes the door.

The next morning I’m awoken by a loud bang in my room, making me shoot up in my bed, terrified.

“Just me love,” Mary says, coffees in hand.

“Aw, thanks, dear,” I reply, grabbing a coffee in her outstretched hand. She sits down, and suddenly squeals, making me spill my coffee onto the blanket below me.

“Holy shit! A hickey?!” She yells, almost as if she wanted everyone in the apartment to hear her.

“Shhh!” I scolded, my hand going to touch my neck.

“Roger?” She asks, and I nodded, ready to hear the scream she was about to let free and sure enough heard seconds later.

“Did you guys?” She asks and I shook my head, telling her everything that happened.

“But if Deaky hadn’t walked in?” She asked, and my face turned red, honestly not knowing what would have happened.

We kept talking for a little bit, some about her and Freddie but mostly about Roger and I, until we heard a banging at the door.

“Enough girl talk present time!” Brian yelled. We both got up as we walked into the living room, the tree lit. Mary had helped me cover up the hickey as much as she could, but if you looked closely it was clearly visible. I sat down next to Roger and Brian, excited to open my presents. Roger smiled at me as I sat down, and I experienced the same butterfly fluttering in my stomach as I always did when he looked at me. I know he noticed my hickey, for he chuckled to himself and when I asked what, he just smiled and said;

“Just admiring my work.” He said, receiving a glare from Brian, who didn’t know what he was talking about. Mary started to giggle, much to the notice of Freddie. Freddie stared at her then back at me, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Anyway,” Mary said, reaching down to give Freddie a present.

“This is for you.” She told him, handing him a green and red covered present, with a silver glittery bow propped on top. As he opened it, Mary’s smile grew bigger.

“My goodness darling, it’s amazing.” He exclaimed as he pulled out a white and black scarf, perfectly his style. Mary and Freddie shared their moment, Freddie making a joke and Mary laughing, putting the scarf on for him. I soon give my gifts to Brian, Freddie, Deaky, and Mary, all of them loving them which surprised me because I was never very good and picking out gifts. Next was Roger, and as I handed him his gift, his hand swept over mine, sending goosebumps down my spine. He opened the mini box, and when he saw the gift, his mouth stood wide open.

“McK, holy shit.” He said, taking out the drumsticks I had gotten him. Engraved in the wooden sticks was Rog, the nickname he loved. I smiled at him as he looked at me, hugging me quickly.

“Thanks.” He whispered into my ear. I hugged him back but felt a sinking in my stomach. I truly didn’t know how Roger felt about me, and if I was just another girl. I let go, pushing my hair behind my ear as he handed me his present. I didn’t expect much of it, as it was Roger after all. However, when I opened the box I burst out laughing. Inside was a tiny box, sitting on around a dozen packets of cigarettes. I opened the box, only to smile softly, picking up the silver necklace with the letter M on it. I looked up at him to find his bright blue eyes staring back at me, this time not a smirk but a big smile.

1 note · View note