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tobi-smp · 3 years

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Regarding your tags on the post about the misuse of trauma-dumping--I don't disagree with you, but what are your thoughts about the accusation of abuse apologism--or worse, threats of abuse itself--sent to people who do like Dream, including other abuse survivors? Isn't that also silencing, just in the other direction? It just seems like a messy situation overall, with shit behavior on all sides.

context: [Link]

I'm gonna be real with you anon, these two things are not comparable for very important reasons.

the situation with dream and tommy is what it is because they presented an abusive relationship with enough authenticity and nuance that people who've experienced these things in real life have been able to see their experiences reflected back and represented in a way that they haven't seen before in popular media. I've seen my c-ptsd in tommy in ways that I just Haven't seen in movies or tv.

[Links that go into more detail: Link 1, Link 2, Link 3, Link 4 and summaries of dream's treatment and affect on tommy in all of the exile streams under "A Comprehensive Analysis of the Exile arc": Link]

"trauma dumping" as a term isn't exactly rigidly defined, but it's essentially the practice of suddenly oversharing about trauma at random in a way that can be toxic to the people around you. this means going into detail about something horrific that you've experienced without giving someone time or space to consent to seeing that information, which can be triggering or draining. it seems more appropriate (to me) to define it as a pattern of behavior, rather than a one-off, but it can be useful in talking about isolated interactions anyhow.

what people are accusing of being "trauma dumping" is what I've already done in this post, mentioning the fact that you have trauma at all and how it affects your relationship with this piece of media. this is blatantly misusing the term specifically to shame people out of speaking up about why it can be harmful to other fans who are survivors to make light of the canonical abuse (or worse, which I won't get into).

it's a silencing tactic because it's essentially weaponizing someone's trauma against them through what's more or less a lie so that the accuser doesn't Have to acknowledge what's already in the text of the story they're consuming and talking about.

the problem with abuse apologia in the fandom can't be summed up with "people have started blatantly misusing a term seemingly at random to try to get what they want."

this is going to sound harsh but anyone can spread abuse apologia whether they mean to or not, whether they themselves are a trauma survivor or not. in the same way that being lgbt+ doesn't stop people from being able to spread queerphobia or ideas that contribute or stem from queerphobia.

the problem is not in that people Like dream, it's that there are people who actively excuse his actions or actively try to blame those actions on tommy. people who say and Believe that tommy "got what he deserved," people who try to argue that tommy Provoked dream, who say that dream was only doing what he had to because tommy was Clearly the cause of everyone's problems on the server (which is, of course, the logic that dream used to justify his own abuse and attempted murder), etc.

these are all real things that I see Frequently and Have Seen for months. not just in fringe sections of the fandom but front and center on twitter, youtube, reddit, and of course floating around here on tumblr. and I've personally seen much worse, but I won't be getting into that right now.

of course people should make the distinction between apologia spread for a fictional character and apologia spread about real people (or people you personally know) because it Is absolutely different. but it's important to point out regardless of whether it's fictional or not because it's being posted publicly where people who Do see themselves and their trauma in tommy can see it and be hurt by it.

tommy provoked dream by being annoying and argumentative in the prison? and what if someone has a loud personality and has been punished for it by their abuser? how do you think They'd feel if someone looks at behavior that reflects them and say that the person who got hurt deserved to be because of that?

it's not the same because it's true. a Lot of the things said about tommy and his experiences are extremely uncomfortable and hurtful to read from the perspective of someone who can relate to his situation. which is problematic when his "situation" is canonical trauma and abuse. and its important to point out that the things being said mirror real life abuse apologia because the things being said are reaching and hurting real life abuse survivors.

pointing out that your words can have an impact on traumatized people because the subject matter you're talking about already deals with themes of trauma and abuse is not a silencing tactic Because It Is The Truth. if someone pointing out the reality of a situation makes your argument fall apart (to the point that you have to try to deflect through lying) then maybe there's something wrong with your argument.

there's nothing wrong with Liking dream, I like dream's character, the problem is when you try to paint him as justified or in the right when it comes to tommy (or tubbo, or ranboo, or wilbur, or-). I don't think people are right when they try to call people outright abusers over blockman discourse, but I can also say that that's just something that I haven't seen. I absolutely believe that it happens (discourse just is that way) but I mean that I don't think that it's common in the same way that the abuse apologia is, or even the misuse of the term "trauma dumping."

so comparing the two situations and calling them The Same just feels, Gross.

#dream smp #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken #dream critical #c!dream critical #discourse #abuse mention #exile arc #meta #long post #ask to tag

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masked-puppetmaster · 3 years

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hey, i saw you asked a while ago why dream & techno apologists are apologists for those characters (and you liked a bunch of my posts concerning that, actually) i was wondering if you still have any more questions - and also i wanted to ask if you wanted to talk a bit about c!tommy and what makes you like him so much? like is it just the emotional attachment to him? is it the trauma? anything specific about the way in which he is written? i've always watched his pov & i'm very curious! / - red

yo yo yo hey! I think I understand it a bit more now, for the dream & techo apologists, I think I’m still a bit confused when it comes to technoblade. I see a lot about people only using him as a weapon/ him not being able to trust people / no one sticking up for him and I’m not sure where it comes from? In all fairness, I only know him as the guy who executed Tubbo / spawned withers but im assuming that’s in large part because I came into the story so late (iirc I didn’t really get into the dsmp until around doomsday, and I got most information of past events just by like. osmosis or reading wikis) so I might simply just not have enough information on techno to get it. Like, he executed Tubbo under a lot of pressure iirc but that doesn’t take away from the fact he did execute him? or things with the withers, I know technoblade doesn’t like the government and I’d go as far as to say he has a point, but was it really necessary to destroy lmanburg (iirc, multiple times). I know he was mad, but I feel like he shouldn’t have taken in that far, like from what I see and understand it’s like yes he had his points but he hurt people and doesn’t seem to care that he hurt anybody, just kinda stands there assuming he’s right about everything and not rlly looking at the situation from anyone else’s perspective. That being said like I said I came into the story really late and so my arguments might be able to be chalked up to just a lack of proper context, and even if I’m kinda annoyed at Technoblade’s behavior I still like him as a character & when techno does stream I enjoy the content so I’m not like a technoblade hater or anything I just don’t see why people can be apologists for him bcos from my pov he’s just kind of hurt people and not taken any personal responsibility for it (I mean this as in acknowledging to himself he was ever in the wrong; ex. The whole Tommy / techno betrayal situation which I think was a p complicated matter to be fair he just keeps saying over and over how Tommy betrayed him and it doesn’t seem to me like he’s even bothering to look at the situation from Tommy’s pov or rlly reflect on his own actions at all)

I just rlly like Tommy! I think at least some part of it can be chalked up to Tommy being the first streamer I watched in the dsmp and one of the ones I watch the most from (half the time I’m watching the dsmp it’s a Tommy stream) so there’s just gonna be some inherent bias towards him there like there is with literally any of these streamers. As you put it, it is kinda the trauma, haha. trauma and emotional attachment lol. I think part of it is I relate to him a lot, and I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things, and I also just like the way his character is written. Smthn abt him that people have pointed out is that his trauma isn’t pretty and romanticized it’s ugly and yk he acts out and all that, which I appreciate. I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things or at least understand why he thinks the way he does. I like seeing him learn and grow I like seeing his arcs both personally with himself and with other people. He’s an interesting and complex character and he’s been through a lot and I think it’s just super interesting to see how what he’s gone though affects his mental state and his actions as a character, like just from like a mental analysis standpoint there’s a lot to talk about which I think is pretty cool. this isn’t to say that he’s never fucked up or done anything wrong, because he has, but to be fair so has everyone else on this server I don’t think there’s a single member of the server who’s done nothing wrong (except maybe like. Charlie. Charlie my beloved). He’s made his mistakes but every good character fucks up that’s what makes them a good character is their flaws and so with the ways that he’s messed up and the ways he’s hurt people I’m an apologist because I can see why he acts that way, where the feelings and actions are coming from and I can forgive him for it because I understand the why. Also I just think the punishments he’s received for his actions are rlly unfair, easy ex with exile he did something many people on the server have already done at one point or another and was exiled and mentally broken down over it and rlly it’s just been like one thing after another and even if he’s made mistakes he gets way more harshly punished than I think was fair. I’ve seen people talk about how annoying and selfish his character is and when I read the posts (not all of them, there’s a nice chunk of people who are civil about it) it just seems like they’re not rlly thinking abt his character and his experiences. I’ll see people explain his signs of trauma and say it’s annoying because it’s not soft crying trauma it’s messy acting out trauma which it’s just like you do not understand this at all, do you? Or with the discs, I’ll be honest with you here. I will defend Tommy’s attachment to these stupid little music discs till the day I die. Why can’t he have his discs? They’re his , they’re not even that valuable outside of the fact that they’re his, why can’t he have things? why isn’t he aloud to have items he’s attached to without someone taking them for the sole reason of he likes them. And all I see is people saying he is selfish and cares about the discs more than people, which is literally disproven in the rp. Ranboo flat out says he’s not selfish, when Tommy takes the blame for George’s house (also keeping in mind here tommy and ranboo barely knew each other at the time, and if Tommy was actually selfish he could’ve very easily dragged Ranboo down with him) and when it comes to the discs he’s given up the discs multiple times in favor of helping other people (he gave them up for lmanburg, and then for Tubbo I think twice actually) and the one time he told someone the discs were worth more than they were, that was the moment yeah made him realize he didn’t like who he was becoming and he immediately backtracked and allowed the disc to be handed over. TL;DR he’s not selfish he’s just got a lot of strong attachments and his attachments are both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. And he’s a kid, he’s been though a lot of things, he’s got a lot of trauma he’s dealing

with and it’s not always pretty but he gets better, he has his arcs and he gets better and learns from some of his actions, and I think looking at him and his yk. Timeline and character development and arcs and his whole like mental deal and just general character choices are super interesting and I find it fun, as someone who enjoys character analysis, and all in all I love him I relate to him in some ways and some of it also might just be emotional attachment and bias towards him as Tommy being one of my comfort streamers

& it’s fully possible someone could have just as much of an argument for c!techno, my deal w looking at c!tommy making mistakes and c!techno making mistakes and being able to be an apologist for Tommy and not for techno is more about me understanding tommy’s character better and understand the reasoning and the why behind the things he says and does, vs. techno who i dont really get and i can’t be an apologist for him if I don’t understand anything hes doing or why he’s doing it and then seeing him over and over dismiss other peoples perspectives and never rlly reflecting on himself (not to say Tommy couldn’t use at least a little of that himself- I am Looking over at his relationship w Jack Manifold lol) can be kinda frustrating but as I said earlier that might just be me not knowing all the proper context

I could probably write more about Tommy especially when it comes to the whole technoblade vs Tommy thing but this post is already way longer than you probably ever wanted to read so I’ll stop now I’m sorry I’m just hyperfixated haha and yk if anyone wants to like add arguments or points or if you or someone rlly likes technoblade or dream or whoever and wants to talk to me about that go ahead I encourage that like I rlly enjoy having those conversations w ppl provided theyre civil abt it bc like we’ve all said a million times over before eveyone in the dsmp is an unreliable narrator and you’re just going to automatically have a bias towards a character if you watch their POV most and all that so. Yk I am a tommy apologist but I watch his streams most and I’m also just emotionally attached so anything I can say has to be taken w a grain of salt bcos I’m biased towards his character

#Long post #ask #anon #red #tommyinnit #c!tommy #technoblade #c!techno #c!technoblade #DSMP #dream smp #Tommy apologist #technoblade apologist #I’m so sorry I talked way more than I intended to whoops !!!!#That’s my two cents

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scatter-kinnin-patter · 3 years

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Okay that's it I NEED to gush about my c! Wilbur timeline under the cut because it's so canon divergent but my memories are so so vivid I gotta gush somewhere

Man I haven't had a kin with mems this vivid in a while so it feels weird but here we go!

Leading up to the war with Pogtopia, I was like most other Aliveburs, and p canon compliant. Philza was my dad, Tommy was my younger brother, and Techno was my twin but only older by like, five minutes. I don't know how he got so much more of the Piglin traits than I did(I remember having pointy ears tho) but... Fratenal twins I guess lol. We were close as kids, but kinda grew apart when we got older. He went off to do his own thing, I stuck around with Tommy. I missed Techno and Phil a lot in early DSMP days. But I had Tommy! Tubbo was sorta like a little brother but moreso in the "hey this is my little bro's best friend so he's over for dinner all the time" way than the "guess I have another sibling" way.

Don't have much to say on the L'manburg revolution or the election arc or anything, those were pretty much just lined up with canon.

Pogtopia arc though... Whew. Here we go. Tommy and I got exiled, we fled to our ravine, yadda yadda it followed canon. I'll admit, I quickly fell into my paranoia and delusions. I think I was alone with my thoughts for too long, and with everything Schlatt was doing and such a delicate balance on the people of Manburg being with us or against us, especially after Eret betrayed us in the past, I just. I couldn't trust anyone. Except maybe Tommy, he was my lifeline of sorts, and especially when he called Technoblade. Having Tommy and Techno really grounded me: helped me remember that I was fighting for the people I care about, not just some presidency.

And then. Well. Techno and I were talking about Manburg's destruction, Tommy was more against it but still wanted to help take Schlatt down and get Tubbo back. But Techno and I started preparing for the worst. That's when I met with Dream about the TNT thing.

Now Dream kinnies, ily, but you might wanna skip this paragraph because I'm gonna rant about my Dream for a lil bit. Not you, you're valid and I love you lots, but this is a rant against my Dream. He wasn't just going to give his TNT to me for nothing, he needed something in return. So we went back to a temporary base he set up and did our deal there. He made me sit down in a chair, bound my wrists and ankles, and made me watch... something. It was almost like a TV screen? I don't know what it was, but it took a hold of my consciousness. Whatever this was, it was hypnotism. I don't remember much about it, Dream tried to make sure I'd forget, but I remember Dream using hypnosis to plant this idea in my head that I was the villain of the story. That no matter what I had to destory Manburg because thats what a villain would do. I. Really hate him for that. He just used me. But what's done was done, he gave me my TNT and sent me back to Pogtopia.

You know where the story goes from there- my corruption, the war on Manburg, Schlatt's death... and me blowing it sky high. I remember Philza shielding us with his wings. I missed Philza so much. But I couldn't get over the hypnosis I was under. I was still the villain, and heroes have to slay the villains, right? Philza stabbed me, and he held me... and then he was gone.

Now uh... Hehe, serious canon divergence time...

I didn't die. I don't know how I didn't, but I didn't. I remember waking up in a cold room on a single bed, no windows. Couldn't leave because it was an iron door. My chest was bandaged up, and it ached like hell. Eventually someone came in, someone new: Ranboo. He kinda freezes and goes "Oh. You're awake. Uh." And just leaves and shuts the door behind him.

Shortly thereafter, Tubbo and Quackity came in. We started talking(as much as we could, I had trouble staying awake for long) about what happened. Big Q found me while going through the rubble, and realized I was still breathing, so they brought me to a secret room under L'manburg. I was in a coma, for at least a few weeks, I don't remember the exact time. I lost a lot of blood, I was very pale... and I think it messed with my brain. I couldn't really.... remember anything in the weeks leading up to the war: my exile, my hypnosis, my unfinished symphony, none of it. They looked... unsure of what to do with me. Tbh looking back I don't blame them, I did a LOT of crime. But they decided to keep me in this room for now. They didn't tell Tommy or Philza or any of them yet. Apparently only Tubbo Quackity and eventually Ranboo knew about me.

One day though, I was sleeping when I feel someone shake my shoulder. I wake up and I realize it's Dream. I ask what he's doing here and he goes "It's time to go, Wilbur." And I don't really know what to do, but I take his hand and start following him out of the building and back to the surface. They were setting up for Techno's execution. Dream sent Punz in to distract the Butcher Army, but I call out for Techno. His eyes lock with mine and I've never seen him look like that before. Such- genuine confusion and relief? Looking back, I can see why. He must've thought he was seeing a ghost(hehe ghostbur kinnies I love you)

The anvil drops, and Techno lives thanks to his totem, but before I can call out to him again Dream grabs me and starts running off with me. I think Techno saw us because he yelled for me and ran after us. Dream took us down a random tunnel and let Techno follow, because once they got far enough from the fray, Dream just... shoved me to Techno and walked away without saying anything else. Before we could really do much else, Quackity showed up. He was confused that Techno lived, he was mad that Dream just helped him, and he was furious that Techno had me. Techno made sure he was between Quackity and I and they both fought, Big Q losing a canon life(sorry Quackity kinnies ily!!!)

Techno then just grabbed me and ran. He lead me back to his house and we had a long, long conversation about what happened. I missed him so much.

I'm still piecing together memories post-execution, but I know I spent a lot of time with Techno after that, including when Tommy was with us.

I'd try to remember more but I just realized how long this post got OOPS anyways if u read all this thank u, I just needed to share my Comabur timeline

#💙wil💙#dsmp kin #dream smp kin #wilbur soot kin #I can't believe I'm calling myself Comabur

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ranvwoop · 3 years

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TALK ABOUT AMERICAN HEALTHCARE I HAVE AN IDEA OF WHY IT'S THERE BUT I WANNA HEAR THE EXPLANATION ALSO THE ONLY HOUSE THAT"S NOT ON FIRE (YET) FOR THE SAME REASON I JUST WANNA SEE THE ANALYSIS:TM: IF U WANT I WANNA SEE IF I GOT IT RIGHT :D

Hi :DDD. Thank u for asking,,,, I have many thoughts. I am sorry in advance. This is one of those things I will put under a readmore because I am into rambling. IT GOT A LOT LONGER THAN ANTICIPATED IM SORRY. Like. a lot. It was 4 pages in google docs because i dont trust tumblr to save my drafts

Okay a lot of my Ranboo thoughts are about the syndicate / boreal trio / peerpressure duo. But you’re probably aware I am a Them enthusiast first and both a dsmp enjoyer and person second. Because. I really like the syndicate. I also don’t have too too many thoughts on the more recent lore past the experiments. Once the in character monologues stopped, so did my brain. I communicate through monologue to monologue communication.

American Healthcare is actually gonna be the main reason why this is so long bc it works Very Much for like three different reasons. One sorta niche and abstracter reason is a stream that was basically never elaborated on back in March, either the day after or very close to the peerpressure Egg confrontation stream. The egg called him a coward (for some reason my brain can Only come up with the “stop saying i look like chicken little. he’s dumb, and a coward, and i am NOT a coward” vine), and he is not a coward, so he decided to make an action plan to bring the server together by acting as a mediator for all parties and try to make sure that everyone is happy, because he’s the only one that can see all sides, or something. This was where he said the big happy family™ line but other than Ranboo Become Dream?? analysis nothing else really happened and everything went along as normal.

(I also always held a little bit of suspicion on this stream actually and thought it might be the influence of the egg, because it says it can give one whatever they want, and ranboo wants to make everyone happy and this was a totally foolproof way of doing that. Sort of in a similar way that BBH is convinced that his plan will totally make Skeppy happy. But also Ranboo is just like that, but this felt a little more on the nose than usual and he did fall into the egg and made his decisions after being egged on by it, buT WE’LL NEVER KNOW, WILL WE?

… also I really wanted to see more egg conflict at the time. Peerpressure rlly got involved in the egg plot for cameos at the banquet and nothing else. I do not blame anyone and respect the ccs for all of their attempts to weave plots together but also. also…. we.. we coulda had so much…)

That was a little off topic from the point, but… he really just thinks he can save the sick… he can see that everyone on the server is unwell and is wrong but, y’know, look inwardly, the unwell is coming from inside the house. And an inherent problem of the way that the server runs. And if this is still lowkey in effect or not (idk man a) ranboo has monologued a lot I simply chose a one off from march to grow emotionally attached to and b) i think that my brain has shut off once ranboo stopped solo lore streams), it would probably go the way that most choosing to change the system from the inside goes. Which is the point of the song and stuff! He will inevitably decide what’s too far, whether he will either admit it’s a choice or just feel that it’s what he has to do. The, uh, dealing with the devil, to be polite.

in conclusion (but we are not close to done here i’m holding you for a bit longer), i think a lot about that stream and i think that shows what he wants to be, at the very least, and continuing down that path would definitely go into being far more trouble than just a noble goal of wanting to help people, from negotiating with corruption (The lobbyists, the Congressmen and lies bit) and that the server can’t really be brought together and saved like that (When things are more and more this way / Sometimes it's like they'd rather die)

THE LESS. vwoop why have you written an unnecessarily long post about one stream in your playlist character analysis reason is both more literal and piece by piece and also Syndicate, My Beloved, you know the drill. We are going line by line because I have a lot of feelings about American Healthcare, apparently.

This also comes back to that everyone on the server is doing Really Badly, all of the time, but mostly his time in L’Manburg. For one, he is pretty complacent in everything and doesn’t really accomplish much in terms of actual change, so like Well people die every day / I wouldn't have it any other way / I just think they should feel good while they are alive. An example of this is Exiled Tommy — who I’d also metaphorically put as the dead man just for funsies, since Tommy’s whole exile thing was one of the first things Ranboo experienced on the server—as he did try to be friends with Tommy and keep him company with his letters, but he still has no power over the actual issue at hand. Just trying to make it a bit more bearable. Similarly is Techno, while Ranboo still participated in the butcher army that was trying to kill him, he helped in the meantime until he “died”.

And then it’s the Realization that participating in the system doesn’t really help much, and the subsequent Everything. It could be getting mad at the whole government system and that he didn’t mean to contribute to the harm, or how he fought with Fundy using hs ideology but not in the way that Ranboo thought. It could also be standing up to his hallucination Dream, in that he doesn’t try this hard to be a good person just to be accused of helping with all of the things that he may or may not have helped with. (That is… a discussion for not right now, I don’t know.) And I think this sort of area is also where it’s like they’d rather die is also relevant, cause Doomsday. Nobody could just set aside their governments and just get along, though Ranboo had his own solution to fighting and things.

And then he joins the Syndicate! And the lyrics of the song are directly Government Bad, because government bad. Canon anarchist, has done things that he’s not proud of as a part of the government. The lines it was the government / … It got louder over the years / Until all that I could hear was flies and all.

But honestly I think in the Syndicate he’s still trying to “save the sick”! Because the Syndicate don’t All fit eye to eye either. He’s the token pacifist, and a vote against violence whenever it comes down to it. Not all anarchists are violent but Techno and Phil will probably react strongly when provoked, due to All the past events, and I live in a world where their trauma and issues get talked about as much as everyone else’s. Since everything is decided by vote it’d probably be split between them and Ranboo + Niki, who is in her healing/no longer resorting to murder arc. He’ll help them negotiate and then everything will Be Okay, ideally.

(Also I just like the idea of Ranboo believing that he is helping the people he’s living with because canonically cc!Ranboo has said he just really cares about his family and the syndicate are included in his family shut up but they also just believe they’re helping him and yes it’s self indulgent. I care them. Particularly Endduo, actually, or whatever they're called, I am not bold enough to think Ranboo looks at Techno and thinks I Can Fix Him, but. Philza Minecraft will one day talk about his feelings. One day.)

There’s also radioduo and beeduo as of recent— really I’m just saying I think that Ranboo constantly has a Need To Help People, believes he can do it, and it will come back to hurt him in the end (except for the Syndicate because I’m in denial. The Syndicate can’t fall out if they never stream together :) ).

THIS CONCLUDES THE AMERICAN HEALTHCARE PORTION OF OUR SHOW.

The Only House That’s Not on Fire Yet !! I like this one. This is also blatantly there cause Syndicate. They are the only faction that is not actively falling apart, and this could absolutely be because they never stream together. But I do not care. However we are also going to go through this one piece by piece because we’re nearing 1500 words here and I might as well embarrass myself more. I am writing an incredibly informal essay about Ranboo My _Beloved (i assume his middle name is My, and he’s just one of those people who write his full full name) and this is the third page. If you’re still reading this, I’m sorry. Here we go.

There are lines that just seem like an unwell but recovering person, and I like to sort of think that way about Ranboo in the arctic during the down time. “I feel knotted up today / But in a most exquisite way” and “I feel strangely regular / But honestly I prefer it to / The usual bizarre” are just! He’s just hanging out. He’s doing good. There is the acknowledgement that he’s usually not doing well, and all of the episodes that he’s had in the past, and it’s probably strange to be doing well in the midst of everything, and there’s probably something impending, but now? He’s doing good!

The verses directly after both of those ones are about uncertainty and trust and such, and I feel like that’s not necessarily about just One relationship but all of them. Will cause problems as long as he has an accomplice. He is not confident but he trusts and loves people.

“This suit doesn’t fit me / I made it conterfeitly” I just like to think about Ranboo in his fancy suit, but it’s just a little wrong because he actually has no idea what he’s doing. I also like to think about Ranboo in a cape to fit in with boreal trio and later the syndicate, and emerald duo had matchy blue outfits from the Antarctic Empire… and trying to fit in with them…. or maybe They make him something.. You know. Much to think about.

“Killing me with déjà vu” I think is like. A little less fun, because despite how well things are going, the enderwalk is still not resolved and he had even less answers when I started thinking “this is a ranboo song”. Just as it relates to having a strange sense of reality and stuff, which goes into specifics of enderwalk headcanons, which would make this far longer. Even though I’ve framed it as a negative, there is also the more positive note of “Oh! I just thought of how to change all the hate / Into love with the old switcheroo / Dancing in my déjà vu / You'll be dancing too” which I’d rather explain broken up but I feel like as it’s a full verse it should be together. The first part is connected to my general thoughts of him explained earlier tbh, he’s trying Very Hard to make everyone happy and fix things. And adding the second part to it is just like! He is trying to make sense of everything, and it’s not so scary as time goes by. Since the experiments where he’s been (questionably) trying to be more comfortable and get more answers.

This was very long. I am sorry. I am ending it here and probably not going to do much formatting to make it readable because it is very late o’clock and also this is four pages and 2000 words I am so sorry. But if you read this far then. Uhhh thank. ^v^.

#asks #vwoop.noises #☆graphite☆#Reader. graphite in particular. i am so sorry.#this is. kind of just embarassing actually #if you notice a tone switch at the end its cause i got tired and didnt want to finish this in the morning #and look at my past sins #2k words of analyzing r*nboo in the direction of some internet songs. not. the thing you want to think hard abot that when you wake up #ok i fell asleep looking at the post page. 10/10 #but uh otherwise thank u for asking (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

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enderspawn · 3 years

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🎼 (I can’t find the correct emoji lol) exile arc tommy?

Oh boy! (opens up breakdown playlist) /hj

Montreal – Penelope Scott

Sleep with a Baseball Bat – Cosmic Johnny

Brother – Gerard Way

breakdown under cut, tw for suicidal ideation on the first song esp

1. Montreal – heehee hoohoo suicidal/depression thoughts baby!!

I mean in short this is tommy saying he wont Survive exile. The intro of the song lists when the singer would be home from college/school and that “another 90 day summers gonna take [their] fucking life” which is rlly just. Tommy not gonna live THAT long in exile.

“And I would rather die And let me make it clear It's nobody's fault But I think we all know That I won't make it to Montreal”

So the thing here is that its “nobody’s fault” bc on one hand it is that he doesn’t blame tubbo but worse he doesn’t blame DREAM. Its just meant to happen, its not bc of anybody, yknow?

“And I would rather die I'll jump before I'll fall And I'm having lots of fun But I won't make it Montreal”

Mans tried to jump to his death before he “fell” whether bc of dream or an accident, hes makin the active CHOICE to end it rather than just waiting. Even w the fun he’s having w dream, he’s miserable and he knows he wont make it to see lmanberg again

“You like to talk about the future As if it's real And when you tell me that you love me I can almost feel it”

Dream keeps promising him stuff for the future. Maybe he can visit to see the tree, maybe he can get another visit, maybe he wont be alone. But tommy doesn’t care, its all fake to him (which like, it is so good for him but fjkdlsjf)

“It's not that it's a bad plan No, the plan fucking slapped I was so excited you don't know how bad I wanted all of it The coffee shop, the weather, the apartment But I don't want anything anymore I don't know, I guess I just got bored”

Okay so. Tommy kept trying to get shit together to leave, right? He wanted to go back so bad and have this domestic life w his friends but in the end he just got so downtrodden that after his shit got blown up he was so ready to just GIVE UP.

“And I don't wanna die I don't wanna get left behind But it's better half than none I hope to god you have some fun”

He doesn’t want to be in this situation, he still CARES abt the lmanberg crew but in the end hes been told that they’re happy WIHTOUT him. He’s not angry at them, not anymore, he just wants them to be happy bc he isn’t.

2. Sleep with a Baseball Bat – tommy and dream relationship baby!!

“And every time you wake up Thinking this could be the day Well something, something just”

Every day in exile he had no real plans. He just had to exist out there alone and hope someone else came. This IS the day he can do…. Something. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t have a goal.

“And when your love is an anxiety attack Don’t settle for that, don’t settle for that And when you wake and find the claw marks in your back Sleep with a baseball bat, sleep with a baseball bat”

Hes been manipulated into thinkin dream is his friend, that dream “loves” him but it makes him miserable! Hes paranoid and stressed and falling apart!! Boy!!! Fjdsklfj

“Siena says you’re getting used But something’s broken in your head And you can’t run away when you need to”

The other ppl who visited him, like ranboo, KNEW something was happening and that he was in a bad place but tommy had been manipulated by dream so much that he couldn’t process it. No, dream couldn’t be bad, dream was his friend, right? He couldn’t leave exile, dream would be upset. Its all what DREAM wants, not tommy.

“Hey, space cadet Are you still floating round the rock That you spent so much of your life trying to get away from? And does it at least look different from up there?”

OKAY SO ONE. SPACE CADET? THAT’S CLARA BABY!! TWO: he spent ALL his time on this server fucking fighting dream, trying to “get away from” him. But now hes stuck “floating around” with him as his “friend”. The last line feels sarcastic and bitter but like. FUCK it hits, yknow??

“It might take a couple tries till you believe it But love is real, you’ll figure it out, you’ll live to see it But you still have to take a couple of falls And you can’t make an omelet without breaking your balls So batter up Is your bed made? Is your helmet on?”

HAPPY ENDING POG!! HE STARTS HEALING!!!! HE STARTS REALIZING DREAM WASN’T HIS FRIEND!!! He still “falls” and relapses into wanting dream w him but hes so much better!!! Also,,,,, “is your helmet on” w the turtle shell helmet (eyes emoji)

3. Brother – IF TECHNO AND TOMMY NOT BROTHERS WHY THIS SON—(gunshot rings out)

Okay so on a serious note this song is abt addiction and while I don’t want to take away from that Serious Topic, it Does relate but w tommy dealing w his ptsd of dream

“And brother, if you have the chance to pick me up And can I sleep on your couch To the pound of the ache and pain? Oh, in my head 'Cause I'm awake all night long To the drums of the city rain”

Hhrhnrng staying at technos place to hide from dream and get better a lil JFKDLSJK. Also “the drums of the city rain” is referenced a LOT in this song but like. It keeps him up so,,,,,, dream JFKDLSJF. Mans barely ever slept in exile so it WORKS okay jfkdlsjf

“The lights we chase The nights we steal The things that we take to make us feel this (To the drums of the city rain)”

This is him and techno livin together!! Like in the first chorus you could see lights we chase being tommy finding techno’s place, then later it’s the lights of lmanberg as they sneak in. the nights they steal is both just time spent together and also straight up the times they stole shit JFKDSLJ. “the things that we take to make us feel” is the gapples tommy always eats so that he can feel safe (also, bc in the og song this is PROBABLY abt drugs and potions are drugs in universe so. Arguably getting a potion effect from the apple means it is Also Drugs? Fjdkslfj)

“I can't go back I don't think I will I won't sleep tonight as long as I still Hear the drums of the city rain”

Go back to logstedshire or lmanberg you ask?? The answer is yes. Both. He feels like he doesn’t belong in lmanberg and logstedshire is too traumatizing for him to return at this point. As long as he “hears the drums of the city rain”, or is thinking of dream, he Cant Sleep:tm:

“Does anyone have the guts to shut me up? 'Cause I believe that every night There's a chance we can walk away So hold on tight Because I won't wait too long In the drums of the beating rain”

Okay so hear me out but. This is just tommy and dream. “I believe that every night theres a chance we can walk away” is tommy hoping desperately for dream to let him go home, to walk away from logstedshire. He never will be permitted, not really, but theres a chance that tommy clings to. He wont “wait too long” while out in exile and stuck w dream bc hes desperate and miserable (also fun fact these analysis is basically me just pmv’ing shit in my head and rambling vaguely abt it but like. Listen,,,, flashback verse jfkdsljf) ALSO. The line “does anyone have the guts to shut me up” in relation to exile!tommy is just VERY important to me. Mans was so quiet and afraid to speak up when in exile.

“'Cause the nights don't last And we leave alone Will you drive me back? Can you take me home? (To the drums of the city rain)”

Following up that last paragraph, this is still in flashback. The days end and dream leaves again, making tommy alone. He asks if he can go back, if he can see home and lmanberg and everyone. But echoing the “to the drums of the city rain” after home CAN imply that “home” has become logstedshire WITH DREAM even tho it keeps him up and aaAAAAAHHHH

I swear this ends up okay and techno + tommy focused fjkdsljf

“Faces I don't know I am tired in the glow”

He feels isolated from everyone during his exile and lashes out at those who visit, to the point he feels like they’re all more or less strangers and “faces he doesn’t know”. Being tired in the glow is, imo, him over the lava.

“Of the freezing club Keep me breathing Don't make the lights come back Can you take me home? We all need this When we leave alone”

Hhhngg okay so tommy breakdown time! Hes in techno’s house (the freezing club) and is just pleading for techno to help. Don’t let “the lights come back” (lava again maybe? He doesn’t want to be Like This?) and just wants to feel like hes at home because hes just left exile and hes Messed Up Over It

“Remember when you and I would make things up? So many nights, just take me down To the place we can hear them play I miss that sound 'Cause now we don't sing so loud To the drums of the city rain”

OKAY SO THEY MAY NOT BE CANON FAMILY BUT WILBUR REMEMBERS SPARRING W TECHNO AS A KID AND PHIL IS HIS CLOSE FRIEND SO THEY STILL KNEW EACH OTHER AS KIDS SO SHUSH FJSDKL. Tommy just wants things to go back to how they were, before everything. When things were easy and they were kids just having fun. He misses it. Before exile, before lmanberg, before dream. But it doesn’t matter, because they’re stuck in this now. With his brother dead and his closest friend being the man who killed his best friend and helped blow up his country. Again, the drums of the city rain is dream. Because of his influence, its all different.

Hhhngngngn this is too long so I wont go into the last outro bc you can interpret it a LOT of ways, esp depending on how you want to Pace this song w the exile arc. But like. The analysis is THERE if you really wanna push it/animatic it babeyyy

#dream smp #mcyt #tommyinnit #exile arc #HHHHNG IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE JFKLDSJ #I PROMISED MYSELF ID FINISH THIS ASK GAME UP AND WOULDNT GO IN DEPTH AS MUCH THEN DID EXACTLY THAT W THREE SONGS JFKDSL #tommy #answered #song ask game #listen the last song is a LIL bit of a stretch but its my playlist i get to put in the not depressing song fjdkls #Anonymous

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winterfellchild · 7 years

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Sansa Stark is a trueborn Stark

I read many haters comments yesterday in the Sansa’s tag, sadly I didn’t have time to reply but I was really annoyed that some people liked to talk about bookSansa and showSansa to point out how showSansa ruined everything in Westeros because she is too different from bookSansa and too powerful and she shouldn’t rule WInterfell.

Before anything else, I'll like to point out that I agree to some extent that bookSansa is not the same of showSansa, but even if the same applies to bookJon, bookDanielle, bookArya, bookBran, bookJamie, bookCersei and so on only the nonsense that are written in the Sansa’s tag are so out of control that I must say I find it alarming… there is so much hate for a fictional character and a collective ignorance of the books ( I have no problem with this if someone has not read the books but I’m annoyed by people who read them and still ignored GRRM words).

Anyway this is gonna be very very long ( even boring for someone) and biased for sure on some levels but nevertheless I’ll share my opinion about some nonsense I read in no particular order under the cut because really saying that Sansa is an unfit Stark or that there is no textual explanations for Sansa becoming Lady of Winterfell is too annoying for me.

First of all imho, like I was saying, it’s sad that the fandom could be so much better if only people read everything in the books before talking about what GRRM wrote and blabbering about FACTS while ignoring/denying what they don't like just because Sansa is “the bane” of Westeros.

But I know asking people to read before blabbering is an utopian dream.

That said let’s talk about the fact that bookSansa was always the least Northern and most Southern of all her siblings and for this reason she is an unfit Stark or not a true Stark or a second-rate Stark or some other nonsense like these so she won’t be Lady of Winterfell in the books.

I don't even know where to begin with this ridiculousness because really saying that Sansa was the most Southern of the Stark is stating the obvious.

Is this a surprise to anyone that read the books that she was a lot like her mother, a Southern lady, in AGOT?

GRRM made no secret of this and in the first book one way how he highlighted this is the fact that he made perfectly clear that Sansa wanted to go to King's Landing, it’s something really important for her character arc.

What I don’t get it’s the fact that this is a bad thing that made Sansa unfit to be Lady of Winterfell after 4 books given that it’s also clear from the first book that Sansa regretted her wish to go South/being a Southern lady and wanted to go back to her home in the North by the end of AGOT.

Sansa backed away from them. "I did as the queen asked, I wrote the letters, I wrote what she told me. You promised you'd be merciful. Please, let me go home. I won't do any treason, I'll be good, I swear it, I don't have traitor's blood, I don't. I only want to go home."

In that quote GRRM is telling us readers that Sansa didn't want to stay in King's Landing after she understood what kind of place that really was and the true nature of the people there, she wanted to go home.

And he said it again in ACOK

Home, she thought, home, he is going to take me home, he'll keep me safe, my Florian.

and here

"They tell me you visit the godswood every day. What do you pray for, Sansa?"

I pray for Robb's victory and Joffrey's death . . . and for home. For Winterfell.

It's also rather noteworthy to mention that Sansa dreamed to be back in Winterfell more than once in the books.

Since I talked about Sansa and King’s Landing it’s also worth pointing out that I always read some haters like to point out that it was somehow Sansa's just punishment that she became a prisoner in King's Landing because she wanted to be like a Southern lady.

That has nothing to do with her initial wish to be like a Southern lady, it was the unfortunate series of events that made Sansa a prisoner.

Of course haters that like to judge and to condemn her saying things like "she should have known Joffrey and Cersei were bad" or " she shouldn't have dreamed to be a Southern lady" because it was clear are so hypocritical.

Well, it was not clear from her POV and the readers better understanding of some characters is based on the knowledge that reading other characters POV gave them so saying Sansa shouldn’t have do this or that without even trying to understand her POV isn't really a good argument to justify stupid accusations.

In other words it’s really easy to say that Sansa was wrong when you're a reader and know a lot more than her because it’s always easy to recognise mistakes in hindsight and in this case what the readers know from the start about Joffrey and Cersei is what Sansa know in hindsight.

As a matter of fact it’s easier because she had a kicka*s cool younger sister that seemed to be smarter than her because she was a better judge of characters. But let's be honest, being a good judge of characters is not easy and most of us aren't.

What a beautiful world it would be if everyone was able to judge people from the start.

For example let's just think about the women who wouldn't be victims of their partners if only they knew from the start that they were bad people.

Sansa's misjudgement of the Lannisters is realistic and even understandable when we consider that she was only a child that had everything she ever wanted growing up and didn't know how cruel the world can really be at that time.

How it’s alright and fair to blame a child with so much hate for having sweet dreams or for misjudging people I'll never get it... we all made mistake.

The world is full of people who made wrong decisions because no one is perfect… it’s a FACT

GRRM wrote Sansa as a child that dreamed of the South and that made mistakes in the first book not because she is an undeserving Stark, blood is thicker than water and he did gave her a direwolf to prove that she is a real and deserving Stark but he had a plan for her and he started to work on it from the very start... it’s something that is commonly referred to as character development (x):

Character Development is, by definition, the change in characterization of a dynamic character, who changes over the course of a narrative. At its core, it shows a character changing.

And this change for Sansa started the moment her dream prince said

Ser Ilyn, bring me his head!

In Sansa's narrative that was her cruel and horrible wake-up call when everything she knew and loved was destroyed, her dreams became nightmares.

It’s for this reason that this declaration of love and trust for Joffrey

Her gallant prince would never hurt her father, no matter what he might have done.

If she went to him and pleaded for mercy, she was certain he'd listen. He had to listen, he loved her, even the queen said so.

Joff would need to punish Father, the lords would expect it, but perhaps he could send him back to Winterfell, or exile him to one of the Free Cities across the narrow sea. It would only have to be for a few years.

By then she and Joffrey would be married. Once she was queen, she could persuade Joff to bring Father back and grant him a pardon.

turned into this declaration of hate at the end of AGOT.

"I don't want to marry you," Sansa wailed. "You chopped off my father's head!"

"He was a traitor. I never promised to spare him, only that I'd be merciful, and I was. If he hadn't been your father, I would have had him torn or flayed, but I gave him a clean death."

Sansa stared at him, seeing him for the first time. He was wearing a padded crimson doublet patterned with lions and a cloth-of-gold cape with a high collar that framed his face. She wondered how she could ever have thought him handsome. His lips were as soft and red as the worms you found after a rain, and his eyes were vain and cruel. "I hate you," she whispered.

Moving on from the first book to the second one it's clear that what GRRM started at the end of AGOT continued in ACOK when he wrote this in Sansa first chapter of ACOK

Once she had loved Prince Joffrey with all her heart, and admired and trusted his mother, the queen. They had repaid that love and trust with her father's head. Sansa would never make that mistake again.

That said and going back to Sansa the “undeserving” Stark another reason why some people think Sansa is ill-suited as a Stark it’s because she learned to rule from Southerns.

Learning so much from not Northerners is not a black mark against Sansa when every book reader knows that this is a parallel with her father, the most Northern person in this story, that was sent to be fostered at the Eyrie when he was eight years old.

Just like Sansa, her father learned another style of life outside of Winterfell but that never changed the fact that he was a Stark and it's the same for Sansa, she always treasured her being a Stark.

She never considered herself not the daughter of Lord Eddard and Lady Catelyn Stark even if she dreamed about castles and knights in the South at the beginning of the story and even if she is hiding to save her life in the last book published so far.

The Stark lineage is something essential for her, it’s not just a way to be that can be easily forgotten it’s in her blood and in her moments of need she gains strength from it:

"Do as you're told, sweetling, it won't be so bad. Wolves are supposed to be brave, aren't they?"

Brave. Sansa took a deep breath. I am a Stark, yes, I can be brave.

She threw back the coverlets. I must be brave. Her torments would soon be ended, one way or the other.

I must be brave, like Robb, she told herself, as she took her lord husband stiffly by the arm

And this is a very important sentence in AFFC

I am Sansa Stark, Lord Eddard's daughter and Lady Catelyn's, the blood of Winterfell.

Another supposed thing that made Sansa less Stark is the fact that she believed in the new Gods just like her mother.

Let's look at this from every angle before we jump to conclusion that Sansa didn't believe in her father’s Old Gods.

GRRM wrote in the very first book:

Sometimes she prayed in the godswood as well, since the Starks kept the old gods.

And in ACOK he specifically told us that Sansa didn't just dismiss her father's Gods, she believed in them too even when she was more fascinated by the new Gods:

There was something wild about a godswood; even here, in the heart of the castle at the heart of the city, you could feel the old gods watching with a thousand unseen eyes.

Sansa had favored her mother's gods over her father's. She loved the statues, the pictures in leaded glass, the fragrance of burning incense, the septons with their robes and crystals, the magical play of the rainbows over altars inlaid with mother-of-pearl and onyx and lapis lazuli. Yet she could not deny that the godswood had a certain power too. Especially by night. Help me, she prayed, send me a friend, a true knight to champion me . . .

He told us the same thing in one of Sansa’s memory when he said that “when she was just a little girl” Sansa prayed to the New and Old Gods. It was a childish desire but she prayed both:

Sansa had prayed to the Seven in their sept and old gods of the heart tree, asking them to bring the old man back.

And talking more about the Old Gods it's not a coincidence that in King's Landing the Godswood became the only place where Sansa felt somehow safe and where she was free to talk about going home.

After her escape from King's Landing she searched the peace and protection in the old Gods even in the Vale.

It was the old days she hungered for. Prayed for. But who could she pray to? The garden had been meant for a godswood once, she knew, but the soil was too thin and stony for a weirwood to take root. A godswood without gods, as empty as me.

So, that’s why I think it’s unfair to say that Sansa has no links with the Old Gods and the godswood because she visited the godswood a lot and prayed to the Old Gods too.

I’m sorry that this became so long and I’m not even started to talk about how Sansa doesn't deserve to be in Winterfell and be the Lady of Winterfell because there isn’t textual explanation that her character arc will go there in the books too.

In the books Sansa is the key to the North and the first time someone acknowledged it was before Robb died.

So, here a quick list of characters who acknowledged she is very important and linked to Winterfell just to show a little textual explanations about why Winterfell is in her near future even in the books :

Lord Tywin

Tyrion

Cersei

Lord Varys

Lady Olenna

Margaery

Littlefinger

Robb.

Last thing I want to talk briefly about is how Sansa being Lady of WInterfell is an offense to Arya and Bran.

According to some people Bran’s storyline will end with him rebuilding Winterfell.

I have only one thing to say about this: IT IS NOT HIS DESTINY

Hate Sansa but why should you bring Bran down too?

How can anyone miss the fact that he was Lord of Winterfell but that his destiny was not to be the Lord in Winterfell, he is a magic being now… and imho he will be so until his dying day ( for the record I think he will survive by the end of the story).

Of course he won’t be that robo-Bran that we saw in season 7 but he won’t go back to being just a “normal” human being after such a difficult journey.

And to tell the truth to say that he should be the Lord of Winterfell again is going back to the start and erasing his journey.

To conclude this topic about Bran, I should like to open a short parenthesis: rebuilding Winterfell means that the Stark dynasty should not die and this is something Bran can’t do since he can’t have children.

According to the same people Sansa being Lady of Winterfell is a disservice to Arya too.

Now that was just too stupid to even talk about it because it was something related to Danielle having more rights to rule over Winterfell than Sansa and Arya being Danielle’s Hand was the icing on the cake.

So the bottom line was that Sansa being Lady of Winterfell was also a serious offense to Danielle.

First of all Danielle HAS NO RIGHT OVER WINTERFELL AND THE NORTH and the Vale of Arryn that pledged for House Stark and the Riverlands that I’m sure will go back to House Tully and therefore will pledge to House Stark.

I’m not being an hater but it’s true that right now Danielle doesn’t even have right to rule over the other Kingdoms since Jon is the true heir to the Iron Throne.

So before starting to claim the North for her, some even claim Ghost will connect with her, haters can worry about the other Kingdoms because her situation is not as rosy as you might think.

Also since Winterfell is Sansa’s birthright ( only Bran comes before her in the Stark line of succession but his destiny removed him from it) everyone who don’t want Sansa as Lady of Winterfell should just shut up no matter what because GRRM will bring Sansa home and she will be Lady of Winterfell in the books too.

She is the KEY TO THE NORTH and as Jon said by right Winterfell should go to her.

It’s in her destiny, it’s her character arc and it was forshadowed so much with the prophecies of slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow and of the girl in grey on a dying horse reaching Jon at the Wall and also Sansa actually rebuilding Winterfell in the snow.

We cannot ignore the fact that Sansa is the more suited Stark to continuing the Stark dynasty, motherhood is in her character arc too.

And in conclusion, Sansa is the most likely candidate to be the “younger and more beautiful queen” to cast Cersei down, but I really can’t start talking about that too because this is toooo long and I already said what I think about it here (x).

Haters will hate but the reason why Sansa is so powerful is the same reason why in the books GRRM gave her so many POV chapters... because she is important for the North and for the Starks.

#the hate is real #and it's so annoying #Sansa is important deal with it #she is the key to the North #she is the Stark that will rebuilt Winterfell in the books as she is doing in the show #Sansa is a Stark #it's in her blood #Sansa Stark

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