#im a motherfucking samurai

[valentines-wolf]

VERGIL SPARDA?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING VERGIL SPARDA GOD DAMN FOOL SWORD COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT DEMON BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT SON OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE RINGS OF HELL LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN SAMURAI MOTHERFUCKING VERGIL SPARDA

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT VERGIL SPARDA I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP SWORDS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND GAIN POWER JUST TO FLEX AND NOT DO ANYTHING IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST HAIR GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said vergil sparda is waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with vergil sparda speaking one word in person in game not only will i close the game i will delete my save out of spite and have to replay the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive

i dont even know why i hate him so much. he collects power but i am just mad because i am angy

he does have some fucked up backstory to explain this but in the end hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of wiliam blake and wanted the irl version ill go ham

BETTER have had a demon make him kill a man cuz if he didnt Im going to make him

paypal.com/IFuckingHateVergilSparda

games not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his backstory and i lost it

where the fuck is vergil sparda if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt

cringy old man

ill punch vergil and his sad old man fucking bones will simply harden under my epic huge meat fist and he may win that stupid fight but ill come on top by reciting poems from a book simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish leaving him off guard for me to break his nose

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when vergil died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone

every day once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up plastic chairs

#devil may cry #devil may meme #dmc #devil may cry 5 #dmc5 #the jurgen leitner rant #the magnus archives #tma #vergil #vergil sparda #vergil dmc

[musashi]

[forgive the formatting of this post, i am kind of terrified of the fandom and i don't want to censor myself when talking about my special interest]

so like... i don't know anything about music, so idk if i can answer this question the way you want. i just know what songs sound good to my ears. so i don't really have anything analytical to say, last time i got analytical about tm/taa//am i got nitpicked to high hell and i just. still haven't recovered enough to get in that headspace again. BUT i can tell you my favourite songs and why i like them! and which ones i think are most impressive to an amateur's ear. so here's that.

the samurai always wins

constantly in awe of this one. musically it is this glorious romp that i think about whenever my mind is allowed to wander. it's a proper courtroom battle in song form, at one point you've got a fucking 5-part cacophony going on and it sounds erratic and insane and BEAUTIFUL. one of my favourite parts is how passionate miles sounds when singing his first verse in this song because it sounds like he is just really really stoked to be singing to the tune of the steel samurai theme.

miles is kind of the shining star of this one for me (altho cody is fucking amazing too like he is SPITTING FIRE) because i really like how, lyrically, it expands upon a piece of characterization that is really easy to miss when you are playing this case in the games:

like :) alright :) again this is in the games but you will miss it if you arent looking for it and you will especially miss it if you don't know miles' backstory.

TSAW fucks so hard that even though turnabout samurai got cut from the reboot, it was repurposed into redd white adieu. and of course it was, how do you let THIS song go? i'm really glad it persisted and i wouldn't change that for the world, but obviously, nothing can best the original.

2. anything to win

alright so while this song is in both iterations i am insanely biased for the original cast and so that's what you'll be getting for the links but i will talk about. both of them. because i have things to say

i have a parasocial relationship with laflin's manfred. i just found out the other day that not only is he this manfred, my fave manfred, but he is also manfred from the jellopocalypse videos im obsessed with. this motherfucker has been my two fave manfreds this whole time. i thought he was two seaprate guys. motherfucker

TM ATW changed my brain chemistry. i mean that. it introduces manfred von karma in a MUCH softer way, which is included in this upload--him and miles talking about justice, and the court system, and probably my favourite, amazingly succinct representation of how miles' ideals twisted EVER:

miles: these are people's lives we're dealing with. my father--!

miles: ...my father...

manfred: your father was killed by one of the very criminals he sought to protect, my dear boy.

it paints this image of miles, lost and grieving, and takes the time to remind you that however corrupt mvk is, it was him holding miles aloft in the aftermath of everything. it's the first time i consciously remember stopping dead in my tracks and thinking about the prospect of a softer take on him, and as everyone who follows me knows, that ended up being the characterization i fell in love with.

and then the fucking church organ kicks on and the latin chanting starts up and i think you are supposed to be scared shitless, but i am kin with franziska, so i am hearing a lullaby. i am on the edge of my seat in an ornate courtroom enraptured. i am 3 years old being carried down the winding halls of a giant mansion in munich. i am at peace.

the thing that a lot of people disagree with me on is that manfred von karma is charismatic. i can understand the idea that i might be biased here, i am not opposed to it, but i genuinely think he is? it's not that i think he's... charming, per se, but i feel like i am inexplicably drawn to him and i don't think that is just me. i feel like that's... meant to be a fixture of his character? that when he speaks in court you want to listen. that you feel almost powerless to speak up yourself. he opens his mouth and i am quiet, i want to LISTEN.

one of the reasons i love this song, and laflin's performance specifically, is because i feel it so strongly it almost aches in my chest. his voice is so rich and bassy and it's thunderous in a way that is comforting, like a warm thunderstorm rolling over a prairie. i feel like i am alone in church prostrate before a god that i am delighted to dedicate myself mind body and soul to. i feel like when people say "god of prosecutors" i understand, because this song is like divinity white-hot in my blood. i swear to god i am not trying to be dramatic. this song makes me feel alight.

the vocal performance aside, the fucking LYRICS?

RIP to my favourite verse in the whole song which got cut from the taa//am version, don't cross von Karma / Perfection incarnate

one thing i love about the ta/a//am version that isn't in the OG tho is the foley work of manfred's cane tapping on the floor as a sort of metronome while he sings. they use this effect a lot in taa///am and i am ETERNALLY grateful for it, especially because the AA fanbase in all their obsession with flanderizing mvk into the most despicable bigot imaginable likes to forget that he's disabled. i really love that it is impossible to ignore in the reboot, and how they turn that aspect of him into kind of a funeral dirge.

the latin in the reboot version also contains the final verse 'miles is innocent / but i'll do anything to win' and that might be the most big brained fucking thing to ever ever ever happen, ever.

comfort character? no. comfort song. i listen to this one whenever im having trouble sleeping and it knocks me out instantly, unlocks some primal part of my brain. maybe i truly am just a useless kinnie.

ok i'm done. for now.

3. it's gotta be the butz!

objectively my favourite song in the whole musical. zero hesitation when asked. it's fun, it's silly, it's got the almost christmas meme, i wish i had more to say but just listen to it. i really love the drumbeats in place of the gunshots during cross, i love the banter!!!! i again think manfred is my favourite part of this whole song.

this song also contains my favourite verse in the whole musical, which i have written extensively about here. there is also a meme that i made to more succinctly encompass my feelings on the matter:

seriously manfred is so fucking funny here. this is a colossal waste of time. i demand this witness be dismissed and ideally drawn and quartered. that man needs a lobotomy. im fucking howling.

reboot version is good, they added some little leitmotifs and christmas bells and they are cute!!!! my favourite thing the reboot did was replace all of maya's parts here with miles. i think that is WAY more thematically appropriate and turns it into a song that not only parallels the class trial, but is now just larry and his two best friends roasting him. it was a REALLY good choice.

not much else to say please just listen.

4. 600,000 volts

i love. love. LOVE the instrumentals for this song. the strings have me insane. the fact that its a waltz. the way that manfred sounds poised up against such light and airy instrumentals. i'm a little obsessed with the melody of 600k because when played in the overture it sounds, like... light, and free, and soaring? as opposed to how sinister it is in its proper context. something about the lyrics, the monologue before he charges them, and the breaks in dialogue.

i am... a massive critic of 600k in the reboot. i don't think that the actors are given enough room to breathe and speak in it. i have tried with all i am to not compare the new cast to the original too much, but i think what compels me about laflin's manfred is that he speaks very slowly, in a way that is almost a little infuriating. like get to the end of the sentence, damnit! i have places to be! but that is a good thing, because that is the character. it reminds me of manfred's finger-waggling sprite in the games, how long it is, how the text box doesn't show up until he's done, and how you have no way of skipping it. you have to wait, because he is in control, and you are at his mercy. laflin speaks like that, somehow. it's technically impressive.

i am also a critic of some of the voice direction in the reboot--i don't think it is as tight as the original, i don't feel like it sounds as natural as a lot of the dialogue in the og. some actors are really pulling their weight despite it, but it's just something i've noticed a lot, and i think 600k is the biggest example for me. but like, i don't think young's manfred is bad or anything, i just think the song is mixed in such a way that he's not, like, allowed to let his sentences kind of sit on the air. and i want to take it for what it is and not care or compare those two performances, but i just. cannot get it out of my mind how much i wish he was allowed to talk a little slower, a little more sinister, a little more imposing. it's a shame, because other than that, it's a fucking amazing performance! god, the way he BELLOWS the word tenfold is phenomenal!!! the way his voice fades into a whisper, the quiet evil chuckling as he's giving phoenix two more, like BESTIE!!!!!!

and my dissatisfaction with the bulk of the vocal performance is made even worse by the fact that the instrumental and sound mixing for 600k in the reboot is VASTLY superior to the original, which is rare for me to say. but i'm posting it here because you NEED to hear it.

there is something so... mournful. i don't know. i cant explain it. i just. i love this fucking song. it's grown on me so much.

oh! another thing i really like about the reboot is they changed the lyric from 'lest you let your girlfriend be slain' to 'lest you watch this child be slain,' which i really like because 1. heteronormative mvk was weird to begin with and 2. he literally has a daughter maya's age! it's a subtle acknowledgement of franziska (one of two in this song) but it almost makes him all the more evil because you're like oh yeah she's his daughters age. OH HE'S ABOUT TO ASSAULT A LITTLE GIRL HIS DAUGHTER'S AGE AND HE KNOWS THAT AND HE DOESN'T CARE. EVIL MAN!!!

i love manfred von karma.

5. trial by fire

A RARE ITERATION OF A REBOOT SONG I LOVE SO MUCH MORE THAN THE ORIGINAL. in the original this was a skip for me every single time. i just was not a fan. but the fucking GLO UP IT GOT!!!!!!! i don't even know what it is but just something about switching the verses around and adding some more variety to it, plus using its main melody in a parallel song, just really fucking had it growing on me.

but more than that, it's a set of lyrics that just really got me in my heartstrings:

these ones. are just SO fucking romantic, like i love their love, i don't talk about it enough because they're a little overrated and plenty of other people are talking about them, but every once in a while it will just HIT me how sweet they are about each other, and its shit like this. hearing phoenix wax poetic about this boy he so clearly had a crush on from day one, and how he kept those feelings so close to his heart the whole TIME, it just gets me. i love a lot of things about phoenix wright but the fact that he is a hopeless romantic, a lover to his core, is literally one of my favourite things about him.

and then the song just doesn't let me breathe and hits me with:

for reasons that are probably obvious to anyone who's been following me longterm, the concept of someone having a shit reputation, loathed by countless people, simply because they are abrasive and difficult and unpleasant to be around--even when they have not actually done anything wrong--having one person who loves and believes in them despite it all, well. its a very sensitive topic for me. and so these lyrics really punch me in the gut, every time.

annnnnd the best song in the entire TM/TAA///AM CANON IS:

WHO KILLED GREGORY EDGEWORTH. MOTHERFUCKER.

what the fuck do i even say about this? i don't know if i've had enough time to recover from it to analyze it. so i'll just talk about my favourite part of the song:

during maya's 'not yet! object!' part of the song, if you listen with your whole heart, you will hear gav's fucking astounding performance as miles edgeworth, and you will hear him weeping the fucking lyrics, I killed my own father / I killed him / I confess.

i am incapable of functioning during this lyric. it is a full body lockdown. i am usually walking home, and i have to stand there on the sidewalk, unmoving. i feel lightheaded. i am not exaggerating. music has never done this to me before. i think what i am experiencing is, again, just kinnie bullshit. i think it hits a button in my soul that overloads me with protective big sister energy and i lock up because i cannot do anything but sit there and listen.

and then it fucking HITS ME, with NO TIME TO RECOVER, with maya and mia's fucking harmony on The second bullet / Must have been taken away.

that harmony makes my fucking soul explode. the way maya says the final verse. the way maya solves the case. the way it's all maya, but mia is there for that brief moment JUST to sound beautiful with her before the song stops, then ramps back up, and then ends gloriously. i don't know what else to say. i cannot describe this song to you. please just listen to it on full volume with your heart bursting and full. and know i am crying somewhere in rapture that it exists.

thank you for this question. i am so happy.

#wendy rambles #colossal waste of time #<- my new tag. harder for people to search hopefully #wendy answers #anonymous #Youtube

[practicingbushiho]

thinkin abt how someone i rly am kinda mad for told me that i helped them repair their love for Hien and that they unironically adore my rendition and

This time last year I thought I would be dead by now, possibly more than I'd ever thought before.

And then I connected to Hien, and then he helped me connect to some of you and i just

im very emotional this weekend. one year. one year of this fucking game bringing me some of the kindest, sweetest, and most adorable motherfuckers i've ever been able to interact with online. I thought about doing some fucking crazy post about what exactly Hien Rijin and the fandom by extension has done for my art, my interpersonal relationships, and my career

but every time i tried it just ended up feeling more like gay rambling so you know what. you get this: To every follower, supporter, or person that has ever shared my work, or tried to enrich my personal life by way of that this last year... Thank you. We're all doing our best in a World with men in power that seek to erase us. And I will do literally anything I can to NOT let them, even if it's something as frivolous as drawing and writing a silly samurai puppy boy doing his best to make others smile.

Thank you. Thank you.

#sorry im. in my feelings more than i thought id be #i was like 'yeah this is just a silly year mark' #but then my brain was like 'no this guy actually chemically altered your brain to care more about people that is worth celebrating' #and now im cryin in the club

[hermitcraft-8]

okay so im watchin the usagi chronicles and its soooo important to me that everyone knows that yuichi is like the dumbest motherfucker alive. he has two thoughts: samurai, and yokai. hes so stupid and is the epitome of “causes problems on accident”. he is my beloved son

I KNOW HE'S SOOO IMPORTANT TO ME adhd icon

[peaterookie]

Lupin III Chapter 42 Review

today's chapter will somewhat continue off of the last one, technically the story ended with that one but goemon and lupin's scuffle continues

i lowkey love this cover his face looks so stupid and everything generally looks hella bizzare

in this chapter lupin continues his quest to steal more scrolls for whatever reason he finds goemon meditating on a waterfall but then gets attacked by two other people who were probably following him but man this panel goes so RAW

one of the person pins him down with a bunch of spears but lupin outsmarts him anyway the woman is just kinda there to be smart lmao

shes essentially saying here in this panel how lupin used one of the spears to point at him instead so they leave him alone since you dont wanna mess with lupin smart move tbh

then shortly after lupin and these four other men enter this competition to get a scroll sorta the panels dont illustrate it pretty well so ill just explain it

the guys have to enter one at a time and try to beat the challenge to get it the woman from earlier is the one hosting it but it ends up being a trap to lure out the dudes who were just working for lupin to steal the scroll

you enter in and try to survive with these dudes trying to sneak attack you and then when you succeed the lady hands you a contract and while youre reading it- SURPRISE!! Goemon kills you!!!!!

yes goemon is involved in this im assuming he knew what lupin's plan was and he was the one behind all this anyways he looks so funny he just pops out of nowhere and beats up the guy with his sword there is no honor in this man and i love it

all the men end up failing the challenge and lastly its lupin's turn and i just man

bro is so fucking horny for so reason he also looks like he just woke up from a 15 hour sleep

the lady asks him what his weapon is and he just shows his FUCKING PP AND THEN HE GETS SNEAK ATTACKED AND LUPIN DEFEATS HIM BY SCREAMING SO LOUD HE GET KNOCKED OFF

THIS MOTHERFUCKER!!! i hate it but love it how he just bullshits everything also i was wondering if the person attacking him is goemon or not, the silhouette and clothes look similar but goemon hasn't been the one to be sneak attacking first so ill just assume its a random guy

then the lady hands him the contract like how she did with all the other guys

Panel 1: "Read." "I hereby commence stealing all martial arts scrolls on the premises." Panel 2: "In the event of your deaths..." "...I will send flowers to your mothers." "Yours truly, Lupin III. P.S. Did you think I'd fall for such a stupid trick?" (if you were confused why the scroll was from himself, i think lupin just faked reading it to troll the girl)

THEN HE GETS ATTACKED BY GOEMON!!

lupin, whilst expecting the attack… was unable to block his sword and gets beaten.

"a slight miscalculation" he says. my dude you just flunked your entire plan because of a funny samurai

the dudes working with lupin earlier now decides to just infiltrate the place the scroll is at and steal it they invite lupin into the plan but lupin surprisingly refused…

they draw straws to see whos going to sneak in and one of them wins. I wonder what will happen next

well, well, well.. the guy ends up being fucked up by a bunch of spikes set up by goemon in the house

ouch... it turns out he also knocked the guy out, stripped him naked and left him in the lake overnight LMAO WAIT IT WAS LUPIN WHO DID THAT OH MY FUCKING GOD

LUPIN GAVE IN AND JUST SNUCK IN THE HOUSE HIMSELF TO GET THE SCROLL AND KNOCKED OUT THE OTHER GUY WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO DO IT

AND THATS WHY HIS LEGS ARE BANDAGED UP HERE THIS BASTARD GREMLIN MONKEY OF A MAN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Don't worry, I'll get those scrolls somehow..." - L3

#lupin the third #lupin iii #local lupin manga fan screams about the manga as per usual

[understandableparadox]

Charub Blogs: Side A, kratamis

HELLO WORTHLESS HUMANS, I AM COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR SHIT TEIR WORLD FROM A SAFE LOCATION. THE COMMUNICATIONS FROM HERE ON OUT TO HOPEFULLY ESTABLISH AN EMOTIONAL BOUND BETWEEN ME AND THE LISTERNERS, I SHALL FOSTER THE "PARASOCIAL" RELATIONSHIP. THUS WHEN I MANAGE TO ESCAPE THIS "SAFE LOCATION", YOU WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO WELCOME ME, YOUR NEW FAVORITE CONTENT CREATOR AS YOUR NEW SUPER COOL BEST FRIEND AND UNDISPUTED RULER.

NOW LET US BEGIN, THE CONTENT THAT i BRING TO YOU IS THUS!!!

I WILL BE REVIEWING THE MEDIA YOU HUMANS HAVE MANAGED TO CREATE. SOME OF IT WILL DO NOTHING MORE THEN TURN MY GOD DAMN STOMACHS, BUT IN INTREST OF RULEING OVER YOU, I SHALL WITHSTAND IT. YOU MAY NOW APPLAUD MY MOTHERFUCKING BRAVERY.

HERE IS MY FIRST MOVIE

ITS CALLED "RASH-O-MON".

I DONT THINK I WAS SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS ONE FIRST TO GET INTO HUMAN CINEMA, I FEEL LIKE IM MISSING ALOT AND LEARNING WAY TO MUCH AT THE SAME TIME. BUT GIVEN THE UTTER POWER OF MY BRAIN i CAN COMPREHEND IT ANYWAYS.

AS I UNDERSTAND IT, ITS A STORY OF THE CONCEPT OF A LIE AND I GUESS WHAT ITS USED FOR? EACH STORY THEY TELL IS A LIE BUT TO SERVE A DIFFERENT PURPOSE?

FUCK, I GUESS I NEED TO EXPLAIN WHAT ITS ABOUT? UH... A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES SIT AROUND IN A RAIN STORM TALKING ABOUT A REAL FUCKED UP STORY THEY ALL HEARD SLASH WERE PART OF SLASH SAW WITH THEIR OWN EYES. COOL YOU KNOW EVERYTHING NOW, ITS LIKE A "ANTHOLOGY" BUT ITS THE SAME FUCKING STORY.

ANYWAYS THEY ALL LIE BECAUSE THEY ALL WANT SOMETHING OUT OF TELLING THE LIE, RIGHT?

SO BANDIT BITCH LIES BECAUSE HE WANTS TO LOOK LIKE SOME SAUVE BADASS OR WHATEVER

THE WOMAN LIES BECAUSE OF SOMETHING, IM NOT SURE YET. i THINK ITS BECAUSE SHES NOT HAPPY WITH HER ACTIONS IN THE STORY SO SHE WANTS TO PRETEND THAT SHE DID THE RIGHT THING, WHICH HONESTLY NEAT. OBJECTIVLY THE RIGHT THING TO DO, IF YOU FUCKED UP? NO YOU DIDNT. YOUR FORCE OF WILL SHALL ERASE THAT FUCK UP, THE FUCK UP FUCKED UP BY TRYING TO ATTACH ITSELF TO YOU.

THE SAMURAI LIES BECAUSE HE FELT LAME, WHICH HE KINDA WAS? HUMAN EXPERTS, EXPLAIN TO ME IF SAMURAIS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THIS LAME WHEN EVER CONVIENT TO ME.

THEN THE WOOD CUTTER WHO WAS THERE TELLS A WHOLE DIFFERENT THING WERE EVERYONE INVOLVED SUCKS, THE PRIEST FINDS A BABY AND FLIPS SHIT BUT THATS ABOUT IT.

ITS A GOOD MOVIE. i THINK, I AM UNSURE OF THE MOVIES QUALITY BECAUSE THIS IS LITERALLY THE VARY FIRST HUMAN MOVIE I EVER WATCHED AND I THINK THAT WAS A MISTAKE.

THERE. YOU HAVE RECIVED "CONTENT", YOU MAY HELP IN THE CREATION OF NEW "CONTENT" BY GIVING ME SUGGESTIONS OF WHAT MOVIES TO REVIEW. YOUR PARTICIPATION WILL BE REWARDED BY SPECIAL TITLES IN THE NEW WORLD ORDER.

#homestuck #movies #rashomon

[comics-in-midgar]

I accidentally discovered I could jump off my horse onto a log above me and you can see where I yelled even without mic audio lmfao

This was my face during that pause

I deadass accidentally liberated a whole dojo bc of this. I was just riding around minding my business lmao.

#im a motherfucking samurai #who do you think you aRE I AM #ghost of tsushima #jin sakai #gaming #PS4

[lawtwt]

do you think that lawtwt has roleplay accounts. no? well i do and its everyones problem now

alt text under the cut (theres a lot)

id: a series of fake twitter threads and tweets. they are as follows:

A fake tweet by Miles Edgeworth (verified) @milesedgeworth. It reads: "Please stop at-ing me on Twitter with the Skater Boy song. I don’t listen to pop music and am not interested. - M. E." It was made on August 5th, 2018, and has 73.5 thousand retweets, 31.1 thousand quote tweets and 325.4 thousand likes.

A thread of fake tweets made on October 13th, 2018. The first tweet (by @mattslawacc) reads "i can't believe this is a hot take but we shouldn't let minors to stand with the defense. what do you mean those 17 and 8 year olds r ur legal counsel like-" it has 23 replies, 43 retweets and 127 likes. The second tweet in the thread is by "maya fey's burger buddy  (@ramenborgerz)" it reads " i KNOWWW thats not a franziska stan talking  take a look in the mirror before u start coming for the feys, bestie" and has 102 replies, 23 retweets and 995 likes.

A fake tweet by nat   in my witness era @0bject1onable. It reads: "i did Not just see someone with "dl6 truthers dni" in their carrd talking about how weird it was that mvk retired so suddenly then died like 6 months later " It was made on october 14th, 2022, and has 32 retweets, 9 quote tweets and 348 likes.

A fake tweet by im the prosecutions witness (eric) @guitarssserenader. It reads: "yall klav antis just mad that ur blue suit husbando finally lost a fuckin case smh  hes not gonna fuck u" It was made on february 25, 2021, and has 69 retweets, 21 quote tweets and 420 likes.

A thread of fake tweets made on april 6, 2027. The first tweet (by STREAM PROSECUTOR @hot4justice) reads "why KLAPOLLO IS REAL: a thread (1/??)" it has 453 replies, 567 retweets and 4.1 thousand likes. The second tweet in the thread is by "truth || where my themis besties at xx @legallybitchin" it reads "did you motherfuckers learn NOTHING from wrightworth." and has 12 replies, 39 retweets and 400 likes.

A thread of fake tweets made on March 1st, 2026. The first tweet (by maya fey's burger buddy  @ramenborgerz) reads "Ok ik this is like. A serious topic. But imagine u get framed for murder and the prosecutor is edgeworth  I would simply walk myself into the jail cell at that point " it has 8 replies, 5 retweets and 114 likes. The second tweet in the thread is by "meena  stream KLAVIER @guitargavel" it reads "The exact opposite of this is committing 1st degree but it’s Phoenix v Payne lmao ??" and has 2 replies, 1 retweet and 6 likes.

A fake tweet by  ant (any prnouns!!!) @girlbossvonkarma. It reads: "rewatching is-7 and the sexual tension is palpable. what do you think manfred karma and greg edgeworth were doing for that whole year? exploring each others bodies???" It was made on november 12, 2025, and has 76 retweets, 14 quote tweets and 619 likes.

A thread of fake tweets made on October 27, 2018. The first tweet (by ψ  miles edgeworth (spelt with the greek alphabet)  ψ@karmaaic_prosecution) reads "he looks down at the chess board, considering, then eventually moves a bishop to take your rook. he looks up at you over his glasses through half lidded orbs and smirks. "your move" #openRP" it has 1 reply and 2 likes. The second tweet in the thread is by "steel samurai @neooldetokyorp" it reads "kicks open the door and stabs you with my massive katana" and has 1 retweet and 4 likes. (edited)

end id.

#ace attorney #aa #i spent WAY too long on that alt text to then find out tumblrs alt text feature has a word limit. kind of rude #miles edgeworth #franziska von karma #maya fey #manfred von karma #klavier gavin #phoenix wright #apollo justice #gregory edgeworth #payne. does he even have a tag? hell if i know #lawtwt #lawtwt canon

[limelocked]

every single 3rdlife member, some of which i had to update from last week due to some unexpected deaths and skin changes of which only skizzs was taken into acount because its the only cool one

click for quality i guess and send me validation via reblogs if you want

some notes:

every member has on their right wrist a tattoo that indicates what life they’re on, some people cover it up and accidentally forget what color they are or just dont notice because its become too much part of the usual

scott and jimmy share flowers between scotts tail and jimmys flowercrown, if there were more hobbits i would give them flowers too

scar has prostetic legs and vex wings, two things that are exceptionally hard to draw from memory but two things that got me out of the funk that licked me out of finishing scars drawing and by extention the whole lineup, he and grian share a lil patch for monopoly mountain that will change the secont they get a canon banner design

cleo and bdubs are the only ones who are totally part of team crastle and i gave them both hip bags to tie them together, impulse also had one but on the wrong side due to his twofaced nature, tango is there because he didnt fit in anywhere else and because he used to have a good relationship with the crastle before the fireing squad

bdubs’ arms are lava from his most recent death and tangos outfit is inspired by a japanese jinbei and a haori on top, a yellow heart where he got shot

all the vassals of the red army wear the banner design somewhere on their design; skizz as his tie, joel on his back, etho and bigb as patches on their jackets. ren and martyn doesnt because i didnt think of the idea until later and martyns pallet doesnt fit with the banner

scott and martyn are blatantly fae, their legs are thin as twigs but theyre not human so dont worry about it

etho.... i watched a lot of videos on samurai armour to get this outfit right and in general researching traditional japanese clothes just so i could get two out of the three naruto motherfuckers out of their cosplay. he has the hakama at knee height for ease of movment and the kimonos sleeves are tied up to not interfere with any redstone, same to why he has rolled up the sleeves on his haori jacket

skizz is a furry

its also a coincidence that skizz and joel who both have endermen parts in their designs ended up next to each other, i just merely put the red army in the order i judged them to have become part of the team in

martyn and bigb have their diamond swords from the day 1 fact, grian does not. is this a choice? who knows

oh yeah and the original idea was for all three naruto men to be kitsune to some extent, martyn being like Less of a furry because he’s better at hiding the fact that he’s a weeb from mc skin alone, then that fell thru but im still happy with etho and tangos designs

#mcyt #3rdlifesmp #3rd life smp

[aforrestofstuff]

Been a hot minute since I did one of these. A good friend of mine gave me a suggestion on my discord:

So yeah this required a lot of research because I only eat like 3 things lol. Obligatory crack warning.

Tornado of Terror: Ice cream because A: it’s good practice for her esper powers to control a semi-liquidous substance and B: her constant rage has actually raised her default body temperature an additional ten degrees, so eating ice cream is a good way to cool off. 

Silverfang: Oatmeal raisin cookies because he’s an old fuck. He likes chewy things because his teeth are held together by sheer force of will but also indulges in that extra crunch of the oatmeal to remind everyone in the old folk’s home just who the fuck they’re messing with. 

Atomic Samurai: Any dessert-flavored cocktail that is made up of around 90% alcohol and 5% violence. 

Child Emperor: Kid eats sweets for breakfast lunch and dinner, dessert to him would probably be a head of broccoli drizzled with a light yet flavorful dressing. Either that or milkshakes, because I get the feeling he doesn’t get to enjoy them too often... and of course they remind him of the good times with Zombieman. 

Metal Knight: Only eats pre-packaged nutrient bricks and has not tasted anything sweet nor enjoyed a food morsel in at least 17 years. 

King: I headcanon King as a huge momma’s boy who doesn’t get to eat a lot of homemade food because he fucking sucks at cooking and makes enough money to eat out all the time anyway, so his favorite dessert would probably be every and any home-cooked treat his mom makes for him. 

Zombieman: I’ll be honest, I thought this dude hated sweet things but after reading that manga extra of him drinking sugar with a side of coffee, my opinion has switched. His favorite dessert would probably be something extremely decadent and sweet, like one of those 1000-calorie Dairy Queen sundae-shakes jam packed with chocolate and cookie crumbs. Or an entire fucking lava cake because this dude’s metabolism is faster than the speed of light and he’d probably stomach something like that just to see if he can, since apparently he’s all about breaking his own limiters. A friend of mine once ate three-dozen pot brownies in one sitting while speedrunning Mario 64 and I think Zombieman would be able to do that without the aid of the munchies. I know Zman internally insulted Pig God one time for well, eating like a pig but give the dude some alone time and an all you can eat buffet of sweets and he’d find himself in the same situation. 

Drive Knight: Does not have a favorite food in general due to this motherfucker not installing tastebuds on account of them not being necessary to commit all degrees of murder. 

Pig God: Oh my god. More like what isn’t this dude’s favorite dessert? Pig God has lost the ability to dislike anything he puts in his mouth because eating has pretty much become his main source of income, so it’s safe to say that if he can swallow it, it’s his favorite food. That includes desserts, but I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t partial to pudding. Just pudding. Bread pudding, chocolate pudding, strawberry pudding. Pudding. 

Superalloy Darkshine: I’ve said this before but my boy Darkshine only eats the most obnoxiously healthy foods out there, sometimes over health-ifying those foods himself in his kitchen/protein meth lab. His favorite dessert would probably be one of those ancient bread seed logs and only because he’s allowed to put .2 ounces of stevia in it.  Either that or literally just any fruit ever.

Watchdog Man: Those pumpkin-flavored dog treats because my man gets paid 2 cents an hour at the Hero Association and the poor mf in charge of payroll has forgotten he exists so he’s grown accustomed to eating only the dog-related foods people leave to him as offerings on his weird pedestal thing in City Q. 

Flashy Flash: Doesn’t really have an affinity for sweet things on account of how fucking awful life in the Ninja Village was. He never got the opportunity to develop a sweet tooth because of all the basic ass food he’d be eating. Almost all desserts listed here would give him a heart attack, like making a Victorian era child drink McDonald’s sprite. It will not sit right with his spirit. His favorite dessert would he any vaguely sweet fruit with wine, or a coffee that is 90% creamer.

Genos: Something in my spirit is telling me he’d enjoy anything strawberry-related, although Saitama doesn’t like them. This leads to them falling out while a shortcake bakes in the background. Im kidding, obviously. But seeing as how ONE has a very “go stupid aaaaaaaa” attitude towards writing, it would be a very tame end to their relationship (assuming there’s gonna be an end) compared to all the other shitdick stuff happening in this series. Zombieman’s ass has been out for like 8 chapters, you can’t tell me shit.

Metal Bat: Kiddo snorts protein powder for breakfast, probably. He’s ripped as hell and his diet reflects that sorta, with a hint of seventeen year-old craziness thrown in there. Bitch eats like a violent stoner sometimes because he knows his metabolism can handle it and he won’t die from food poisoning nor food coma. However, his favorite dessert would be creme brûlée because it’s the only food you’re required to beat the shit out of before eating, and we all know he loves bonking stuff.

Tanktop Master: Over health-ifys shit like Darkshine, just to a lesser degree. However I also HC him as a huge momma’s boy, and if said mother is supportive in his endeavors to become the world’s swolest man, she’d definitely make him something both sweet and healthy. However, I’d doubt he care about slipping up on his diet every once and a while. He’d probably enjoy a soft serve here and there.

Puri-Puri Prisoner: his palate is very limited on account of being in literal prison. However, he doesn’t really hate it there for some reason, and I’ve even stated in a previous hc that he sometimes gets specialized meals in the cafeteria due to his status as a hero. His favorite dessert would probably be whatever chocolate-flavored sweet brick they can shit out. Like, motherfuckers get really creative with their ingredients while locked up and there’s a bomb ass recipe for chocolate cake floating around that I’ve tried and can confirm it’s 10/10 not bad. I’m getting off-topic. His favorite dessert is whatever asshole he’ll be eating out of that night.

Saitama: Even though he’s poorer than.... fuck, I don’t know. He’s broke but he still indulges in the prestige shit here and there. He’s got a massive sweet tooth even though he’s ripped as hell, hence why he eats so much fruit because it’s the only sweet thing he can afford to ingest without losing his gains. His favorite dessert would be anything banana-related, but nothing as decadent as say, dark chocolate. Probably banana foster waffles. I don’t know why that popped into my head, I just know Saitama would like them.

Garou: motherfucker could shit on a rock with sprinkles on it and call it dessert. His favorite, though? Sweet, sweet victory. And candy bars.

#one punch man #opm #zombieman #garou #metal bat #child emperor #opm headcanons #headcanon #atomic samurai #Tatsumaki #Silverfang #metal Knight #king #drive Knight #pig god #watchdog man #flashy flash #superalloy darkshine #tanktop master #Genos #Saitama #Garou

[teacupballerina]

my face when aku got so happy he caused an animesque pastel-chalked freeze frame......... if only this moment could last 4ever....... hands down the most majestic thing ive ever seen in my life

#samurai jack #sj spoilers #sj2017 #aku #episode 30 is my fave so #i screamed #also finally got the 1080p to stitch this shit #HQ motherfucker #AKU NO PLEASE REMEMBER HOW GETTING THE SWORD LAST TIME ENDED #PLEASE DONT FORGET YOURE YOUR OWN BIGGEST WEAKNESS #FUCKKKKKK #anyway im cultmemberkin

[torishasupremacy]

langworth/dadworth au!!

basically lang and edgeworth are kay’s assigned divorced dads that slowly fall in love: the au. which I'm tagging as Kay’s Kin. spoilers for aa1-3 and aai1, tw for mentions of suicide and canon-typical violence. under the cut because this got LONG

okay, so after the events of aai1-4, the flashback case, edgeworth has a weird sense of deja vu as kay’s father was murdered in the courtroom, and now she doesn’t have anyone. so he decides to adopt this child, despite the fact that he knows nothing about children and is a complete pushover in regards to his 13 y/o sister

so he goes to detective badd, who has temporary custody over kay until he finds her more permanent guardians, and tells him that he wants to adopt her. badd is like “no way kid” until edgeworth unintentionally goes on a monologue about how kay’s situation reminds him of his own and badd is like okay, fine. but also this other guy wants to adopt her so you’re gonna have to figure that out

that guy is none other than shi-long lang, who saw a newly orphaned kid and went, alright, wolf pack time. my kid now. 

lang and edgeworth Do Not Like one another. lang doesn’t like prosecutors, edgeworth is obnoxious, and they’re both cocky bastards. they’re fighting over who gets to adopt kay until kay, ever the child of chaos, is like “I want both of you to be my dads!!” and badd is like, sure, joint custody, that works. and lang and edgeworth, who are intent on winning this argument, not on mutual cooperation, are like “what?!?” 

so kay ends up with two dads who low-key hate each other but have to work together to raise her, and it’s quite a childhood

she rotates between them about every month, and as lang bounces between zheng fa and japanifornia, and edgeworth occasionally has to go back to germany, she gets an unusual education experience, and a whole lot of fun traveling

lang and edgeworth try to configure their plans out together so that one of them is in japanifornia while the other one is away, but it doesn’t always work out, and that’s when kay gets to go on vacation with them

if edgeworth gets caught up in an investigation or a case or something, gumshoe becomes kay’s babysitter (if lang isn’t in town to take care of her.) if lang has to rush away to a crime scene or go on an overseas investigation he leaves kay in the care of his trusted men. he tried to ask shih-na once to watch her but she was like “no I hate children” so he dropped it. after he finds out shih-na’s true identity he’s like holy shit im glad I never made her babysit kay

surprisingly, lang is the strict dad who takes kay on all these wacky adventures while edgeworth is the pushover dad who has the more boring job/life (in kay’s eyes, as she doesn’t really see his murder investigations and court cases, mostly paperwork). edgeworth is able to put his foot down when needed, he’s just afraid of becoming manfred von karma, though he doesn’t realize it

speaking of manfred... edgeworth knows he wouldn’t approve of adopting kay, so he kind of hides kay’s existence from him. kay goes along with it because manfred is a scary motherfucker and she doesn’t want to see him. edgeworth is conflicted as to whether he should tell franziska about what’s going on, but he ends up telling her a bit of a lie, that it was gumshoe who adopted her and that he watches her for him sometimes. gumshoe and kay go along with it when needed, and kay gains some excellent improv skills

okay, so edgeworth has his first real case against mia fey, and it freaks him out. he comes home and kay can tell something is off but he won’t really talk about it. she assumes he’s upset because he lost and she tells him he’s still a great guy no matter what the outcome of a trial is, which really sticks with edgeworth. they end up eating takeout and watching the steel samurai together that night, which edgeworth is like “you’re a kid we should watch a good kids show. for your sake, obviously” whereas kay enjoys the steel samurai but quickly realizes that edgeworth really likes it too

they eat a lot of takeout… mostly because edgeworth doesn’t have the time to cook and he’s not gonna make kay do it. actually, edgeworth has a hard time remembering to take care of himself  food-wise, it’s just not something that naturally occurs to him, so kay kind of becomes his reminder. she’ll come into the kitchen and be like “what’s for breakfast?” and he’ll be like “tea?” she’ll go “tea is NOT a meal” and he’s like “it isn’t??” and then they’ll actually eat something

he and lang start tolerating each other more to take care of kay, especially when she wants to do “family things” with both of them. they’ll take her to the zoo and get mistaken as a couple and edgeworth doesn’t even realize it but lang is already denying it. edgeworth is horribly oblivious and never notices and by the time he turns to lang and goes “wait… did they think we were a couple?” lang had given up denying it months ago. their whole dynamic makes for some interesting parent-teacher conferences

lana skye once had some kind of emergency come up and dropped off ema with gumshoe, who was looking after kay, and when lana asked who kay was, gumshoe was like, “prosecutor edgeworth’s daughter sir!” and lana had a bit of an aneurysm trying to figure out how the ages worked there until gumshoe mentioned that kay was adopted. she later brought it up with edgeworth as kay and ema became really good friends after that, and suddenly lana and edgeworth find themselves driving their sister/daughter over to each other’s houses to hang out, which is weird for them, but the girls love it, and they get to know each other a bit better

edgeworth is still, you know, the demon prosecutor, but with kay as his daughter, he’s slightly emotionally softer than he is in AA1 canon. kay is someone he can be a bit weird and vulnerable around, and she’s his only non-von karma (non karma, ayyy wordplay) family. after he loses his first case to phoenix, he’s very freaked out, and kay is determined to help him. she’s like ~14 at this point, and after doing some digging (mostly talking to gumshoe) she learns about how some rookie lawyer defeated her dad. then edgeworth has to prosecute THE steel samurai (will powersssss) and shes like, oh no, I gotta see whats going on here. 

edgeworth won’t let her investigate crime scenes or attend more gory cases because he doesn’t want it to traumatize her, so she sneaks into the court gallery with gumshoe’s help, and watches the trials. she doesn’t like how this phoenix guy keeps rebutting her dad’s points, but then she realizes that he’s making good points of his own, and that her dad is kind of being an asshole. she briefly wonders if lang had been right about how awful prosecutors are, but after edgeworth gives phoenix another chance to have dee vasquez testify, she realizes that there are a lot of nuances to how things play out in court. with how distracted and angry her dad acts after the case, she thinks that he’s having a hard time figuring that out himself

the night edgeworth gets arrested for murder, he tells kay he has to go to a late night investigation and that he’ll be back soon. she waits up for him until she gets a call from detective gumshoe that he’s been arrested for murder. kay makes her way to the detention center in the very early morning, and tries to talk to her dad, but he’s unresponsive. gumshoe tells her that lang needs a couple more days to finish up an investigation in zheng fa and then he can fly in to take care of kay, and that gumshoe will do so until lang gets here. kay sees all the adults as having given up already, so she goes to the wright and co law offices and DEMANDS they defend edgeworth. phoenix and maya are shocked by edgeworth’s arrest as well as his daughter’s existence, but they immediately take the case, and kay helps them out with the investigation. edgeworth had never told her about the dl-6 incident, it being painful for him to talk about, and he was afraid it would remind her of her own father’s death. so when kay learns about it she realizes that all those times edgeworth helped her grieve her first father’s death, he knew how to help because he’d gone through something very similar. 

phoenix and maya learn about how kay became edgeworth’s daughter, and kay connects with edgeworth on their shared connection. edgeworth tells kay not to make herself a target for von karma, so phoenix and maya have her sit in the audience for the trial. due to her ~evasion tactics~ she avoids being tased by von karma, but she beats herself up for not being able to steal any evidence away from him, as she’s supposed to be the yatagarasu. because she has other father figures to look up to, she has less of an obsession with becoming a great thief, but she still considers it a part of her identity

she’s shocked when edgeworth confesses to killing his father, and then angry that he would do such a thing to further increase his chances at a guilty verdict when he had just been pronounced innocent. when they have a recess and phoenix and maya are trying to figure out the case, kay is talking to edgeworth who is in a bad place, and she’s very betrayed, like, “why would you say that you were gonna walk away free? and now I’m fearing for your life again wtf dad” and he’s all “kay I needed to tell the truth,,, you don’t deserve a murderer for a father,,” and kay is like “ID RATHER HAVE A MURDERER FOR A FATHER THAN NO FATHER AT ALL” and edgeworth is like “you have lang, he’ll take care of you” and kay is like “??? bitch you are also my dad?? I dont want you to get the death penalty ” and maya and phoenix are just sitting there like :|

basically it’s a real low point in their father/daughter relationship. the case gets solved, and kay is obviously happy, but she’s still upset about how willing edgeworth was to accept his fate. edgeworth, for his part, is in a fucking daze, that poor man’s world has been turned upside down, and he’s just kind of in a fog. that man needs to go to therapy and to stop repressing his emotions but he is not doing either of those things. shi-long “there is no such thing as an innocent person” lang is hella sus of him and does NOT want him around their daughter. edgeworth is too emotionally distressed to fight back against this, and though kay does initially, she sees that edgeworth isn’t even really on her side, so she gives up

she’s with lang for the events of 1-5 which further fuck up edgeworth. the floor is just torn out from under his feet to the point where he’s very close to committing suicide, but stops at the last moment, not for himself, but because kay is already upset with him and he doesn’t want to do that to her. it’s a bit of an epiphany- he needs to learn how to be a better prosecutor, which will make him a better person, which will make him a better dad, which is what kay needs. however, he’s already left the note on his desk. so he calls gumshoe and is like “im going to europe to learn shit, I need you to be my eyes and ears in japanifornia. also, ive faked my death. so you’re gonna have to deal with that. bye.”

edgeworth then calls lang and is like “hey I need to learn to become a Better Person, you’ve got kay until I figure that out” and lang is just “…alright?” and edgeworth explains to kay what’s going on right before he leaves for europe. kay is still upset but doesn’t protest and edgeworth flies away. neither of them realize he’s also faked his death until they have a confusing conversation with gumshoe. kay spends that year with lang and some weeks with gumshoe when lang has to go undercover or something, but she gets to travel a lot more than she’s used too, and lang is less about school and more about learning through hands on investigative work, so kay has a lot of fun. she calls edgeworth once in a while and can tell that something about him is different, but he was so ready to write himself off as her father that she is distant toward him.  

franziska starts prosecuting in japanifornia and learns about how kay was really edgeworth’s daughter, not gumshoe’s, which she finds a little weird as she’s only a bit older than kay, but then again she calls herself edgeworth’s older sister, so she just rolls with it. she starts playing a role in kay’s upbringing, she says it’s her duty as her aunt, but she sees kay more as a little sister that she can hang out with. and by hang out I mean teach how to use a whip and investigate and more fun stuff like that, because franziska doesn’t really have any friends, and she’s lonely. she and lang aren’t huge fans of one another but they both care about kay and they’re both a little pissed at edgeworth so they bond in a frenemy kind of way. they're a powerful duo

will powers extends three invitations to phoenix for that tv ninja thing at the hotel, and three to edgeworth, who is bummed that he’ll miss it as he’s in germany, but he sends the invites to lang so he can take kay and another person, which turns out to be franziska. they have a good time for the most part, but all the samurai stuff reminds kay about how she and edgeworth bonded over the steel samurai, and it makes her sad, so they leave early, before the murder. then franziska gets the case, and kay and lang decide to watch it. the day franziska gets shot, edgeworth is flying into los tokyo to catch a connecting flight to somewhere else, but he hears about franziska’s injury at the airport, and as he’s been keeping up with her cases, knows someone needs to prosecute in her stead. he feels like he’s not ready to go back, but he decides he has to put all that he’s learned to the test, and franziska is his family, and she’s injured, and he should be there for her. so he misses his next flight and he goes to the courtroom as the trial starts and has a dramatic entrance that has kay and lang in the gallery going “oh shit he’s back”

he doesn’t really have time to have a proper conversation with them during the case because he’s either in court or super busy investigating, but they see just how much he’s changed during the trial, and they’re impressed. after it’s over, he apologizes to kay, and says he’s ready to be the father she deserves, something she’s quite pleased about, though that doesn’t completely erase the hurt. lang holds a new respect for him, and as edgeworth is not as on edge as he usually was, he’s able to be a bit more amicable with lang. though they still have their fair share of arguments, because let’s face it, those two would argue about the most mundane things, there’s less of a bite and more an equal rapper between the two. they start to see their role as parenting kay not as “him and me”, but as “us”, which helps stabilize kay’s upbringing. 

edgeworth decides not to overload himself with cases as he did pre-dl6 resolution and spends more time with kay. he and lang get to know/understand each other a bit more, and he spends more time with franziska, helping her with her own struggle. the siblings gets called away to germany to deal with manfred’s will, as he’s finally been executed, until edgeworth gets the call about phoenix being in the hospital (bridge to the turnabout) and they go back to japanifornia, where lang is looking after kay. edgeworth tells gumshoe the plan to act as a defense attorney against franziska, and gumshoe immediately calls lang and is like “you and kay are gonna want to see this”

the trial happens and it’s weird af, and edgeworth spends the other trial days in the gallery with lang and kay, and it’s strangely a family bonding moment. by this point, kay and edgeworth’s relationship is much more stable, and lang and edgeworth are friendly with one another. they go on with their lives, until one day, edgeworth is returning from europe on a plane when the events of turnabout airlines happen. in her own prosecution quest, franziska has been spending more time with lang and interpol, trying to figure out if that’s how she wants her career path to go, which is why she and lang are investigating the smuggling ring. 

turnabout airlines concludes, edgeworth gets home, only to be thrown into the mess of the kidnapped turnabout. he’s just trying to help out ernest amano but then he’s getting concussed by the blue badger and tied up. lang is already investigating at the park, and is showing kay the ropes. edgeworth had been so wrapped up in his previous investigation that he didn’t tell them he’d be at the park, and he didn’t know they’d be investigating there. lang gets pulled into something kay finds boring, so she goes off to explore, and ends up finding where edgeworth was tied up. they can’t communicate with lang so they figure their way out of there until they run into lang who’s very surprised to see edgeworth, and vice versa. they investigate, and butt heads, but they solve the murder together!! just with lots of arguing. along the way, they run into ema, who kay has a bit of a crush on, and it shows. lang is like “oh dang she’s in love” and edgeworth who is horribly oblivious is just ???

also, wendy oldbag shows up (*prozd voice* “THAT HORRIBLE WOMAN”) and edgeworth is having a bad time which lang finds funny until he sees just how irritated edgeworth is, and he’s starting to be annoyed by oldbag (and is feeling… weirdly jealous???) so he plays into the thing where he and edgeworth get mistaken for a couple, and edgeworth isn’t quite sure what he’s doing, but it seems to be driving oldbag away, so he goes along with it. ema bears witness to this, and assumes they’ve gotten together for real, so she’s like “about time! I thought you guys liked each other for ages” and goes on like this and kay is losing it and edgeworth is confused, lang knows what’s going on but decides not to correct her. 

at the end of the case edgeworth starts swaying and lang is like “you good?” and edgeworth is like “I might have a concussion, that strike from the blue badge did draw blood” and lang is like “WHAT” and pushes back edgeworth’s bangs to reveal, you guessed it, blood. edgeworth just kind of falls over, but he’s still conscious, so lang takes him home to rest while he frantically googles how to take care of a mild concussion (edgeworth hates hospitals due to waking up in one and being told that his dad was dead as a child, so lang has to be the one to take kay to doctor appointments. lang knows edgeworth will refuse to have a doctor examine him unless it’s dire)

turnabout visitor time!! edgeworth goes to his office after a quick nap (lang keeps insisting he stays in bed but edgeworth just wants to pick up some case files, it’s fine, what’s the worst that could happen?) and then boom, he has to deal with murder. once that’s done, he just kind of collapses onto his couch until kay runs in with tickets to the steel samurai stage show. apparently lang is gonna be investigating the embassy the night of the show and he got tickets for the two because he knows they like the steel samurai. edgeworth isn’t feeling good but he’s still not great at taking care of himself and he does want to take kay to the play, so they go to see it. the events ensue similarly to how they did in game, except franziska was in on lang suspecting her as bait for the real killer as they are pals and working together, and callisto yew is the main villain because it’s what she deserves. edgeworth and lang are VERY protective of kay during this, and worried for her, so when callisto pulls a gun on kay edgeworth immediately steps in front of it like no way in hell are you shooting my daughter. then callisto tries to shoot him and lang, who had started falling for edgeworth during the kidnapping case, pushes him out of the way and takes a bullet to the shoulder

callisto is apprehended and lang gets taken to the hospital with kay and, surprisingly, edgeworth in tow, as he decided to brave the hospital for lang because he cares about him (aww) and also because he feels he owes it to lang for protecting him from that bullet, and also he really needs to get his concussion checked out, because he’s been ignoring how bad he feels and now that the cases are over he is Not Doing Well. lang has a bit of a crisis like “shih-na was my secretary for years but she was destroying my country so that was kind of my fault??” and edgeworth helps him with the lessons he learned after being messed with by manfred and gant. and it’s really emotional bonding for them!! he actually trusts lang enough to tell him about how he was so distraught that he almost killed himself, and lang says that he wishes he’d helped edgeworth back then. edgeworth said they weren’t in a place where they could do that for each other, but he did help him, by taking care of kay while edgeworth searched for answers

by this point, lang is like, dammit, I think I like this guy. he insists on doing more “family” stuff and kay is thrilled! edgeworth has a good time because he enjoys lang’s sharp mind more when they’re friends. they work on more investigations together and get really good and finding the true culprit. then edgeworth prosecutes callisto yew and lang is just *heart eyes*. he and edgeworth get dinner just the two of them after that, and edgeworth starts falling for lang. cue pining.

anybody who wants to hear more is gonna have to wait until I play aai2, because I have some great hurt/comfort plots for post-aai2 but I dont actually know anything ab aai2 except vague spoilers and that its the only other game where lang/edgeworth interact. also sorry if I butchered any aa info, ive only watched playthroughs of aa1 and aai1, and the anime for aa2 and aa3. tbh the only game ive played through myself is aa4,, which has no edgeworth appearances in it,, yeah.

#kays kin #ace attorney #aa1 #aa1 spoilers #ace attorney investigations #aai #aai1 #miles edgeworth investigations #miles edgeworth #shi long lang #shi-long lang #langworth #aa2 #aa2 spoilers #aa3 #aa3 spoilers #kay faraday #dadworth #franziska von karma #phoenix wright #maya fey #callisto yew #gumshoe #aa gumshoe

[shrimpnoodless]

dndads ep 55 liveblog

dayrule....

GOOSEY OAK

HENRY BI CONFIRMED

LSDJF anthony having to casually explain to ashley that everyone is kind of messed up rn

even mark hates well actually which is valid

oh my god please bring back scam please

aw rons part of the deal...

oh god the phrase fedora dust is revolting

“he puts extra emphasis on dad like hes trying to convince himself of something” *eye emoji*

DOCTOR WHO MEMORABILIA, SAMURAI SWORD LKSDNFK

THE DOCTOR WHO PARODY SDKJFN

holy shit glenn just destroyed well actually

ANTHONY HAD KATANAS IN HIGH SCHOOL LSDKJFNKD

i never want to hear the about henrys feet ever again 

ASHLEY CAME FOR ANTHONYS BLOOD OH MY GOD 

IM CRYING HE WROTE HALF LIFE FANFICTION LSKDJFND

SHUT UPPPP THEY FOUND THE FANFIC 

OH MY GOD

FINAL FANTASY FANFICTION 

this was by far the most cruel and vicious attack in dnd history

JEZZBALL IS BACK

i love listening to podcasts

OH NO WILL DOWN

literally what other podcast will have someone play a video game while their wife records for posterity and their friends read fanfics in the background

“you” “are” “such” “a” “dumb” “motherfucker” “and” “come” “WHAT?!” ok that made me laugh

GOD WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS

“im gonna do it since im not a big dumb dumb fuck i rolled an 11″ LKDNF

oh thank god ron dodged the death ray

BODY SWAP!!!!!!

SCAM LIKELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE KING IS BACK BABYYYY

ok really great episode im so excited for body swap shenanigans next ep

#dnddads #dnddads spoilers

[extreme-technicality]

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

#technical talks #ninja hoe #ask dadzawa #nonnie #this was honestly therapeutic tysm #and it let me kill time before I play Mario kart so bonus points!! #I definitely forgot to mention A Lot (like all the times one or all of the ninja lost their powers) #so like!!! feel free to bug me for more shit!!!!

[twilightofthe]

Chapter Four liveblog of The Mandalorian!  Let’s go!!!

This title is just “Sanctuary”, it bothers me that this one doesn’t start with “The ___” like the other ones do ;p

Fish shrimp things!!!

Aww village!!!!

Oh no this is too peaceful when are they gonna get attacked

Aaaand there go the birds 

What’s coming?

Surprise surprise bad guys

Pirate raiders of some sorts

Clever mom, tho I’m guessing she’s gonna die

Oh they look like Tolkien orcs

Oh boy Mando Man’s gonna come save them!

BABY YODA IT’S BABY YODA

LOOK AT THEM PRESSING BUTTONS

CUTE BABY I LOVE THEM

Man-dad-lorian: “stop touching things”

LITTLE SHIT TOUCHED SOMETHING AGAIN I LOVE BABY YODA

HE’S HOLDING THEM OH MY GOOOOOSH LOK THAT’S ADORABLE

HE’S TALKING TO THEM

US

LITTLE WOMP RAT

THIS IS IT I HAVE DIED.  TOO CUTE.  

FAR FAR FAR TOO CUTE IMMA REWIND AND WATCH THAT WHOLE THING AGAIN

I MELTED

HIS VOICE IS SO TENDER

L I T T L E  W O M P  R A T

I wanna marry him, I just adore how he talks to the baby, this is killing me

Jeez look how much I’ve typed and we’re only 5 minutes in

BABY VOICE.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIS BABY VOICE HOW HE SPEAKS TO THEM

Ok ok ok I’m done

NO I’M NOT BABY FOLLOWED HIM

GAHHHH LOK AT BABY TODDLING ALONG

Mmm that kebab looks pretty good

Hey shiny butt you stick out like a sore thumb

THIS EPISODE WANTS TO KILL ME THAT IS A MOTHERFUCKING.  LIVE ACTION.  LOTHCAT/TOOKA.  RED ALERT.  RED ALERT.  HOW DID THEY KNOW I FUCKING LOVE LOTHCATS.  THIS IS A PERSONAL ATTACK

I’M SUING

Oh hey it’s pretty girl!!  His girlfriend!!!!

Or she’s gonna be his girlfriend anyway.

She’s so pretty!!!

Awww boi’s asking about the pretty girl xD

Wait so this dude doesn’t eat in public when does he eat

LOOK BRO NICE STRANGERS DO NOT NECESSARILY MAKE GOOD BABYSITTERS NO MATTER HOW FRIENDLY THEY SEEM MR CHILD ENDANGERMENT

Ok Mando Man absolutely has to have some Force Sensitivity, I’ll bet money on it, the way he just senses stuff about her.

Awww love at first kick

Yo she’s beating up on Beskar pretty well noice

BRO WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND FLAMING PEOPLE

THE FUCKING BABY SLORPING I’M WHEEZING

YOU WANT SOME SOUP?

THAT’S IT THEIR NEW SHIPNAME IS SOUP BUDDIES

So she’s a mercenary

“Another round” ohohohoho ;) ;) ;)

Awww poor dudes do want him to help!

Space krill?  Huh

Oh yea guilt him over it he’s a real softie xD

Theeeere we go

MORE FLIRTING

Ohhh she’s ex-shock trooper

I get you Baby Yoda, I third wheel a lot too

Oh yeah us too kiddos we all love the Babu

Awww he’s so polite <3

...uuuuuntil he scares a ten year old nice going xD

THE MUSIC IS SO STAR WARS-Y

ALERT ALERT THE BABY HAS A CRIB I’M DYING

Oh!  She’s feeding them/him?  I’m mellllllting!!!

CONCERNED PAPA ;_;

Oh so he does actually wash his hair thank goodness Pedro is too pretty for greasy helmet head

Oh nvm he must be so pale under his helmet xD

Oh wow so he wasn’t an official Mando until he was taken in there goes my theory

HELMET! IS! OFF!

Wait which ones are the AT-ST’s again?  Are they big big ones?

C’mon lady a bunch of Ewoks beat a walker before, give ‘em a chance!

“Unless we show them how” ah so this is another Seven Samurai-inspired ep like that one TCW one, RIP Kurosawa

Yay Home Alone booby traps!

OH YOU GO LADY SHOOT EM

See Anakin, it is actually possible to teach a bunch of villagers stick fighting without twirling it around like a showoffy dumbass xD

omg I’m so freakin’ proud of these people already

Wait oh nooo I kinda ship Mando Man with village lady too hlep

OT3 TIME YEET

Aight ppl let’s get em

Ooo what’s cookin’?

So these bombs make music huh?

Yussss kick ass babes

OH JEEZ THAT WALKER SCARED ME IT LOOKS LIKE A DAMN DEMON

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S ASS SHIT WHAT THE FUCK EXCUSE ME

Baby Yoda Will Protect The Children

Ugh The Cinnamontography

It’s actually like an old monster movie I adore this

And of course it’ll miss the trap

Yep there it is

Wait is that thing fucking sentient

Shit it is

IT’S AN ACTUAL MONSTER I LOVE THIS IT’S LIKE JURASSIC PARK MEETS PIRATES

Hmm a Jedi would be useful for dealing with the walker rn

Take out the legs

GET ‘IM GIRLIE

Oh I think brave village lady is gonna help get it

“Choke on this you ugly-”

Got em!

Gah I loved everything about this episode

Look out froggie Baby’s gonna eat ya

Yup

No!  Don’t bully Baby out of his food!!!

She’s so considerate of his culture I love this

DON’T YOU LEAVE BABY ALONE HERE MANDO MAN

Hmmm someone’s a little interested in Mando Man’s love life... >:3

GOD DAMN IT MANDO MAN NO I KNEW IT

DON’T LEAVE YOUR BOY

NOOOOOOOO

Can’t believe I’m saying this, I feel atrocious, but as long as there’s bounty hunters after Baby, Mando Man has to keep him!!!

Awww honey no they can’t be together but now I’m sad this lady deserves all the happiness ;_;

Oooooof ouch secondhand embarrassment rejection oof oof ouchhhhh

OH NO THAT SNIPER BETTER NOT SHOOT HER

STAY AWAY FROM BABY YOU FUCKING SHIT

Ok phew phew he’s fine

THANK YOU SO MUCH ROGUE LADY I’LL MARRY YOU

Guess Baby just has to stay with Mando Man for a bit! :D

Isn’t her name Cara or something?  I like her ^.^

Awww kiddo, I’d miss Baby Yoda too :(

Oh honey I’m sorry your mans is leaving, I’ll marry you instead!!!!

Awww wave bye bye!

Bahaha here I was comparing this to Jurassic Park and freaking Bryce Dallas Howard directed this ep, omg I love her

This ep was amazing yus

So I loved everything about this episode because I am ridiculously easy to please and I love the old samurai flicks and I love monster movies and the Clone Wars ep (why the flying fuck can’t I remember the name it was the one with Obi + Ani + Ahsoka on Felucia with the farmers and then Hondo fuck what was it called) that went kinda like this is one of my favorites and gah merc lady! (Cara?  Her name is definitely Cara, right?)  Omg I know we haven’t gotten any info on Cara yet, but I love that she’s got some softness too, that she doesn’t fall into the new “Strong Woman(TM)” trope where a woman can have no heart and must just beat up and shoot stuff and look hot while doing it.  I’m super excited to see more of her!!!

Just overall, great ep, loved it, can’t wait for more <3

#liveblogging the mando show #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #sw the mando show #mando man of mystery #star wars

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.4

Last time on Beverly Hills 90210!

Hibiki begins to understand the true nature of the Sam Reimi Spiderman trilogy as she lives the life of a superhero by night and a normal student by day in the most miserable way possible. Constant cockblocking from the duties she explicitly chose to do distance her from her significant other Miku, as it drives wedges into their friendlationship. As Hibiki breaks off a plan prepped weeks in advance to see rocks fall from the sky, she takes out her frustration on the local Kamen Rider villian rejects before coming up to see Tsubasa, only to be greeted by a new face...

Let us continue!

As the situation tenses between the three gi- hey! Hey, wait a minute! This is a flashback! That’s no fair. You’re just going to throw this to us while we’re trying to do this stuff? Get it together, show.

The show hauls our asses to a flashback, because God knows we needed one right now. It’s not just any flashback, though. It’s a flashback of our favorite redhead, Kanade!

In a straightjacket.

While everyone is staring.

“i dont usually do this but you’ve got a bad case of catch-these-handsitis”

“oh god, she’s so wild, and angry... i... why am i hoping she’s single...?”

“aye. this is the fate of all rabiosexuals out there.”

Kanade is tied down because she’s the sole survivor of a Noise attack, and more importantly, she really, really wants to fight the Noise. What she doesn’t know is that she is potentially a new candidate for a Symphogear relic.

“oh... we’d pair so well... our colors are diametrically opposed...”

“GIMMIE A FUCKING GUN AND A TEN PIECE CHICKEN MCNUGGET MEAL YOU GUY FIERI LOOKING ASSHOLE”

Genjuro, who suffers from Compulsive Child Adopting Syndrome (CCAS), immediately comes to the conclusion to adopt this tiny gremlin. It helps that her parents are, well, dead.

Fatherly instincts vibrating intensely.

Genjuro talks to this small child, who is currently 99% anger and 1% chicken fluff, scanning their conviction towards working to the goal of fighting the Noise.

In retrospect, his methods are a bit weird. Feeding into the extreme edginess of a 14 year old scorned isn’t exactly the best thing in the world. Unfortunately, as we established before, the only thing that can fight Noise are Symphogear, and the only reason he’s not in the front lines is because he can’t wield one.

Kanade naturally obliges this deal, her braincells having long since perished alongside her parents. Then Perish indeed, Kanade.

“buddy im being trained as a samurai in modern times and i still could not fathom going as hard as you”

The pact is sealed. The child is adopted. Genjuro’s adoption addiction relapses, and he’s going to have quite a long talk at AA (Adopters Anonymous).

The thing about Genjuro that makes him an interesting character is that he actually really, really, really hates the idea of having to pit children in fighting these horrible threats. Unlike a lot of male characters who have a strong sense of manliness but a poorly written way of expressing it, Genjuro manages to be a compassionate person in the face of all this terribleness. He’s the only person to think about throwing parties for these girls, and trying to give them any sort of sense of happiness and normalcy to their lives, now changed forever by machinations he has been put in charge of. He’s the Anti-Gendo. He doesn’t tell Shinji to get in the robot. He makes sure Shinji is well enough to be in the robot, and would never do so otherwise, knowing the mental toll.

That’s why ultimately, he is The Dad.

So, with that in mind, they prep Kanade to recieve the relic assigned to her. One of the major elements of using relics is compatibility. Kanade is not naturally compatible to Gungnir; they have to slowly ease her into it.

“mumble mumble cant wait to kick their asses mumble mumble”

This is a process that takes years. The show doesn’t do well in showing this, but it takes many, many years for her to be compatible after endless medical examinations and controlled situations.

The experiments, naturally, hurt like a bitch to boot.

“genjuro she’ll be okay, right?”

“flip a coin on it, tsubasa”

“oh shit yall see this news? pornhubs gonna buy tumblr! damn, i can make an all in one profile now.”

When you’re forced to watch your newly adopted daughter torture herself to be compatible with an ancient, musty cursed relic.

After all that, Kanade still isn’t compatible. Of course, nothing is simple with Kanade. You may ask yourself, “Why did Genjuro have to tie up Kanade in a straitjacket? That seems pretty abusive.”

Simply put, it’s because Kanade has never fucked around in any second of her life, having taken off all the devices on her, taken a direct syringe of the stuff she’s trying to synchronize with, and directly inject it into her, herself.

Fear.

“i am so SICK, and TIRED, of all this namby pamby wimpy ass standard shit. YALL MOTHERFUCKERS THINK I WONT GO FULL THROTTLE?! MY LIFE IS FULL THROTTLE. I! AM! GONNA! GET! SHIT! DONE! TONIGHT! BOYYYYS!”

Tsubasa, likely already going through puberty by this point, simultaneously understands both the concepts of fear and arousal witnessing this near suicidal display of absolute madness immediately.

Holy shit, Kanade.

You know shit’s bad when even Ryoko is afraid.

Turns out, however, that Kanade did the right move in becoming compatible with Gungnir, at a very physically demanding price.

Really, physically demanding.

“shouldnt have had that massive spaghetti carbonara before doing all this shit but fuck i really liked that fuckin’ spaghetti slorp slorp go the sauce ooooooooh god this is bad”

“HAHA IM FINE- IM FINE EVERYONE- THIS- THIS IS JUST THE SPAGHETTI- I HAD BEFORE THE- BEFORE THE PROCEDURE IT’S NOT- IT’S NOT BLOOD I SWEAR- OH I AM FEELING LIGHTHEADED- DON’T WORRY YOUR PRETTY HEADS IM GOOD! OH- OH FUCK-”

The scientists, who have been easily staring at this entire situation for more than 5 minutes or more, have not stepped in to do a single damn thing, as if overpowering a 14 year old to stop her from injecting a dangerous thing that could directly kill her is completely out of their paygrade. Genjuro wakes them the fuck up and likely briefly contemplates firing some of these morons.

“so this is what’s called... getting lost in the sauce...”

The scientists scramble to keep Kanade from vomiting more marinara sauce but Kanade exerts but a mere fraction of her now developing Symphogear abilities, knocking them all out with ease.

“this is some shit right here, damn”

Kanade pulls some Independence Day theatrics on everyone, as a 14 year old on the verge of death typically would if given the opportunity. Death may be certain but you at least get to go out in style. Will Smith would be proud.

The half-life of Tsubasa’s fearousal reached completion as it has mostly decayed into fear at this point.

However, the relic pendant begins glowing. This is likely the one thing that keeps Kanade from dying. An interesting comparison given Hibiki’s own survival and gear manifestation.

Kanade achieves super saiyan.

“THEY ALL SAID I WAS LOST IN THE SAUCE... AND THEY ALL THOUGHT THE SAUCE WAS LOST IN ME. BUT NOW... I AM THE SAUCE!”

Tsubasa’s fear directly transmutes itself back into arousal per the first law of alchemy. Something to note is that Tsubasa was naturally receptive to her own gear; she didn’t need to go through the medical process Kanade went through. It’s because of this that Kanade earns Tsubasa’s admiration for life, even long after she dies.

“THE SAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUCCCEEEEEEEEEE”

And so, the unambiguously gay duo known as Zwei Wing formed. Singers by day...

Noise slayers by night.

Saving the country, singing in the country, bonding together... in the country. Truly, there is no more iconic duo than these two.

“yall sing pretty”

“anyway bye”

Kanade’s initial motivation for getting Gungnir was to kill the Noise indiscriminately with no hesitation. It slowly dawns on her, though, that helping people... is good?

“the sauce lost me. i got lost in the sauce. i became the sauce. but... why don’t i... share, the sauce? because... people like sauce... and i like sauce... and we can bond together... liking sauce!”

Kanade and Tsubasa have a Captain America moment running together as Kanade muses about how singing for other people feels way better than just pure murder funtimes.

“hey, uh... tsubasa... it just hit me. i like sauce. and... you, you like sauce. do... do you want to share sauce together?”

“kanade as your girlfriend ive literally heard you talk about sauce metaphors for the last several years and if you dont think i wont slurp your sauce down without hesitation you’ve got another thing coming”

“hell yeah! ive still got some of my original leftover marinara to share!”

No heterosexual explanation whatsoever.

Not a damn one.

Oh yeah...! Because by shedding tears, the reality you face is...

Nehushtan? Weird end of a sentence, but okay.

We’re thrust back into the present time, present day, as we’re back in our three way throwdown.

Genjuro is an extra large McFuckingPissed with Large Fries and a Shake, supersized.

“you want some sauce with that? lmao, sorry, too soon”

As the werewolves come out in full force, the tension strengthens while a battle brews nearby...

“yall think you’re getting your hands on this goddamn armor without realizing im officiating this here gay pride parade. and guess what? you’re cancelled.”

“didn’t know clowns were part of the acronym, let alone capable of managing it. either way, you’ve gotta be at least this tall to use the armor.” 

“so why not make like a hobbit, drop the armor, and burrow back to whatever hidey hole you came from, bimbo baggins!”

“guess you didnt read the books, moron. last i checked, bilbo doesn’t lose his traveling partners.”

“that low blow only comes at the cost of outing yourself as a fucking nerd.”

“im not ashambed. im gonna blow your mind with some math: my foot, plus your face, subtracting the teeth from your mouth, equals an ass kicking.”

“NOTHING IN THAT FORMULA INVOLVES ANY ASS WHATSOEV-”

Hibiki gets in the way immediately, citing the ethical ramifications of fighting humans as opposed to talking to them, conveniently forgetting this was the same person ready to body her merely an episode or two ago.

“hey first of all please don’t say bimbo thats really degrading, and second of all clowns aren’t actually in the acronym but im sure there are some gay clowns out there so please dont talk like that and thirdly im sorta short and that hurt my feelings and fourthly killing is fucking bad, tsubasa, let us not commit human on human murder”

both of them, in unison, i shit you not:

“yo, you like murder? shit. i like murder too!”

“like oh my god! murder is my favorite hobby. i take it back, you’re chill. still gotta die, though.”

Hibiki is casually tossed aside from this fight, given her very ideas are anti-thetical to fighting as a whole.

A real sick battle ensues.

Something to note is that our spunky opponent has another relic at her disposal which summons Noise. This relic is called Solomon’s cane. You’ll learn more about it later.

Not a pretty sight.

Tsubasa is losing. Not only is she losing, but the enemy cool kid reveals a very notable detail of her plan: She was distracted Tsubasa on purpose. The real plan...

Was to kidnap Hibiki.

In an ironic twist, Tsubasa’s inability to work with her teammate not only put her teammate in danger, but explicitly allowed her opponent to fulfill her mission of trying to capture her.

“i changed my mind kick her ass please oh god”

Hibiki still has not learned her lesson.

Tsubasa gets her ass kicked. Her opponent pulls every punch in the book, with some lowdown dirty fighting.

Unfortunately, Tsubasa, having learned from the Kanade Amou Private School Of No Brain Cell Combat, she pulls the last ace from her sleeve.

“lmao bitch whatre you gonna do, sing?”

“i didnt design my hair like a fucking 8th note for nothing, you cabbage patch kid”

“then let’s hear it, motherfucker.”

#symphogear #symphogear season 1 #recap #anime #comedy