#im reading it over and i seem like a ridiculously upbeat person

[louismygf]

I'm soooo excited for the album I honestly cannot wait so I wanted to ask you to rank the song by the titles and what we know about them so far ! and you can add what do you expect from all of them if you have certain expectations

omgie an ask ! lovely :) im superrr excited too and reading fan reactions/comments from the listening parties is so intriguing and also so annoying im incredibly jealous😭

answer under the cut bc i got way too excited and typed my heart out !! louis' music is a Very Good topic imo it should be talked about more often rather than....... anything else🥴💘 (warning: ridiculously long-ass answer below LOL)

initial predictions

okay i would just like to start by giving you the predictions i made before we got any interviews and before we got the full tracklist (when we were unscrambling letters basically)! sadly i never completed it bc i got busy,,, i think i was kinda close with Written All Over Your face and Bigger Than Me, though!!!

i originally thought we'd get 16 songs for standard and 18 for deluxe 🥹 (im kinda right!!) and i thought we would get 5 singles, but now i'm thinking 3 hehe (edit: actually 2 now but let's just say 3 for the sake of this ask)

my song ranking (by title & vibes):

my ranking is based on how intrigued i am by the title and also by the song's description, so basically the songs i'm most excited for! admittedly my ranking changed lot as we learned more information about the songs. i'll also add in my opinions/predictions ab the song. obviously, i know nothing; i could be extremely wrong. also here's a summary of what we know so far by @silverfoxlou 🫶🏽 your post helped a lot when i made this hehe thank u <3

1. Silver Tongues:

"a joyful and wholesome moment that honors the little intricacies of his relationship"

when it's louis' favorite, you Know it's a banger. i'm Veryyy intrigued by this song because louis described it as a high energy song but the lyrics are said to be joyful and wholesome? the little intricacies of his relationship? sounds like an interesting combination. Kill My Mind's sister? or ONE of kmm's sisters?? it's interesting to me how. kmm is an upbeat high energy song but with a kind of toxic relationship with a person or thing,,, this one's a Also an upbeat high energy song but! with a more well-adjusted relationship, i'd say- maybe that's growth... i do have a feeling we're getting multiple kmm's 🥹 he really really really likes this one! kmm was my top 3 in walls <3 it's going to be super fun for louis performing this live and for fans screaming the lyrics back to him. superrrr excited!!!

2. Out of my System

"a pulsating, punk-tinged Arctic Monkeys-inspired track... indie rock", (either 'Teddy Picker' or 'Dancing Shoes'), "a song that is as punk as I can get away with" (Altpress), "

guys, this is the mussy song. i Love arctic monkeys, are you kidding me!!!! this is going to slap so good i just know it. the partial lyrics can seen in the merch! back when we didnt know what sounds inspired fitf, the lyrics did seem very sad but with a punk/emo/grunge feel i think it could work and not be as depressing as the lyrics make it out to be! louis also listed this as his top 3, too so im expecting a lot <3 if i had to guess, this song is about releasing tension, letting go, just. relieving stress and just going with the flow kinda thing? it's a release. also is this going to be released as the next single????? will fitf even have another single???? he better release it soon bc theres no way he'd have enough time to promo the next single (if he even plans to have promo......). fitf + new single promo seems like a bad business decision idk . the streets r saying oct 28th so watch out for that ! (edit: WAIT could be sooner actually???????? excited!!!!!!!)

3. Written All Over Your Face:

"an infectious indie floor-filler... reminiscent of the first two Arctic Monkeys albums", "a song that is as punk as I can get away with" (Euphoria), "punchy energy", "has a slick funky guitar groove"

i was! kinda right, right??? with my initial predictions? it sounds like an argument to me. the peer review results are in, this is the "whiny whore louis song" 😭 the one where his voice is described as "whiny and raspy and... sexual". we already have the lyrics so we know it's not an actual sex song. he starts this song w "hey babe",,, who does that. an arctic monkeys inspired song that's high energy and is paired with a voice that makes you want to bend him over??!??!!? sign me the FUCK up !!!!!!!!!!

4. Face the Music:

"good and bad and right and wrong are stories made up when we are young to scare us" (lyrics), "[this song] took the longest [to complete]"

wait i dont actually know why this song is so high on my list,,,, it's probably bc shes so mysterious and bc we havent heard a lot about her so im very curious. i want this to be a diss track! i think we need more of louis (righteously) talking shit <3 he needs to get angry ! call them out ! if this song's not about a particular relationship,,, maybe it could be about the music industry??? facing the music is having to deal with the consequences of your actions. louis voice: thought-provoking title. i don't have much input on this song but. anyway, this lyric snippet speaks to me in an lgbt way but that's only bc i'm gay 💘

5. That's the Way Love Goes:

"melodic and most tender song", "a little ballad moment", "a non-sexual love between two best friends", "an interesting story, an interesting visual going through the song"

platonic relationships mean the world to me you do not understand... But . i'm a little scared it's going to be another Perfect Now........ ok listen. listen!! louis said he's "confident that this is a song fans are going to adore", and you know he said that with pn,,, i know the themes of both songs are incredibly different, but i don't trust louis' perception of his fans bc i did Not like that song lol. i hope when he means fans, he doesn't mean 1d fans,, my problem with pn was mostly in the concept of the song... the cheesy lyrics werent cutting it for me either,, the melody was alright, but it really did sound like a 1d song. another thought that went through my head (that i mentioned earlier in my initial predictions!) is that it could parallel Only the Brave. i'm loving how louis seems to always end his albums with songs dedicated to love (otb being the unofficial queer love anthem, ttwlg being a louli anthem song ab platonic love). can't wait to hear the lyrics, and the sonic omg it's a ballad ! cant wait to hear how it sounds.

6. Saturdays

"a pretty emotional vocal... I remember being pretty emotional recording the vocals."

"a sad bop",,,, people who've heard it said it was a sad bop !!! saturdays as a title gave me the impression of nostalgia, fun childhood memories kinda thing... saturday cartoons, saturday sleepovers, saturday messing around with friends, just. a fun & cozy vibe i absolutely did not expect a sad one out of this. maybe it's sad nostalgia? some longing? louis also said this was like his top 2 song on fitf, and he said he remembered being emotional while recording the vocals :,o Change vibes tbh but i guess with more melancholy? really like the concept that i completely assumed & literally just made up (lol). watch me be so wrong about this lol😭

7. The Greatest:

"a celebration of [Louis and the fans'] relationship", "specifically written as a tour opener", "propulsive opening track", "musically, it's interesting", "there's probably not another song like that on the record"

so like We Made It !!! immediately, i'm imagining massive drums, massive guitars, loud booming volume at the start of the song and a big chorus that will set the energy for tour way up high. the title feels very grand, so sonically, i'm thinking it will match the title. louis starting an album very strong with The Greatest and then ending with a more mellow one like That's the Way Love Goes is <3

8. Angels Fly:

“Angels Fly” suggest the sort of stadium grandeur we know he’s capable of

what a pretty title. i want this one to be a rock song, or a rock song but like a dance-y one. based on the title alone, initially, i thought this would be like Two of Us, but rn im highly doubting we'll get a heavy grief laden song bc as louis said: "there's a weight to that record [Walls album] emotionally, and I needed to go through that process, but it's not really how I carry myself as a person." so since it probably won't be like tou, and since louis loooves being quirky, he'd probably go the polar opposite of what i expect(ed). i try to outsmart louis but who am i kidding, this man is literally insane i do Not stand a chance. really pretty title though !

9. Chicago:

"it's about a person", "past love story"

lordie it's About A Person,,, 'kay.... "a deep track",,,,, what got jojo wright thinking "who [Chicago] is about, what happened..." yknow, i'm a nosey person; i'm a chismosa- but when it comes to louis' love life, i dont know, i would just... rather stay oblivious lol (given the kind of insane people this fandom has🥴). im absolutely Not looking forward to how #they will twist his lyrics to fit #their narrative. im literally just here for the music, man. well,,, fandom aside, i sense a lot of hurt in this one. louis did say he got emotional while recording this one so there's that. anyway, using songs as proof for thories about an artist's personal life is actually demented literally just enjoy the song and go :)

10. Paradise:

only on faith in the future target exclusive and hmv vinyl deluxe

dave gibson uses the sea as this song's visuals. this one's on the deluxe/exclusive version... dave has been teasing this song since forever, i wonder what it's about. louis wrote Walls, Saved by a Stranger, Chicago, Face the Music, and Out of my System with dave, so already my expections for this song are high!! it's on the deluxe/exclusive, and alongside Copy of a Copy of a Copy! in my mind this one's already a certified banger. louis hasn't acknowledged this song (for now), i don't think..... he's gatekeeping it bc it's just that good i know it.

11. Common People:

"about reconnecting with his roots in Doncaster", "how amazing the people are there",

(lyrics) "when i get lost, i go back to where i started", a song about how his hometown keeps him grounded... maybe he's aiming to make a song that can be played in donny pubs, that'd be cute :) i'm betting on a fun song for this one! originally, bc of the title, i thought this would lean more on social issues bc louis once said he plans on writing those but i think he'll keep it light on this one and focus more on the home feeling. warm, mellow, and cozy— very home-y. a love letter to doncaster :D solidarity, camaraderie, unity sort of thing

12. Holding Onto Heartache:

nothing yet

painful title. louis,,, why hold onto heartache...? i was shocked when these are the words we got after unscrambling. is it cliché to think this one's a ballad? if so then im betting this is the opposite of that lol. rock!! or? a rock ballad maybe??!? dance-y rock ballad??!?? LOL we dont have much info on this one so im really just pulling all this out of my ass.

13. Lucky Again:

leaked last august, nothing official has been released(?)

well, this one got leaked in august and i still have 0 idea what it sounds like or what it could be about. i *have* heard others say that it's really good, or it should've been the lead single as opposed to Bigger Than Me. i don't really want too many songs that talk about romantic love tbh, so im retracting my original prediction & im going to say it's ab his career,,, life in general maybe? feeling lucky again for being given another shot.... at his career.....? he's been using the phrase "i've been lucky enough..." in interviews in regards to things hes done/things he had the opportunity to do so it could relate to that,, guys idk i am just a girl. i feel like this one will knock me off my feet bc i kinda blocked it out; i have been purposefully ignoring it to avoid spoilers😭

14. She is Beauty We are World Class:

"dance genre", was written together with Saturdays and Silver Tongues

the title is definitely the most interesting. i honestly have nooo clue. for some reason, when i search up world class, it directs me to the football definition of world class so 😭 it wouldn't surprise me y'know...... it's a song you can shake your ass to! play this one on football stadiums (just like what didn't happen to kmm lmao)! i personally don't listen to dance music a whole lot but if dmas can change louis' mind then im hoping louis can change mine too. i feel like im giving her a hard time ever since he said this was dance-y, but real talk, i think i'll like her a lot!!! just like all the songs on here i truly feel there won't be a big miss yknow !

15. Headline:

full lyrics

well, we already have the lyrics. i keep trying to make up melodies to match the lyrics for this one (lol) and i already know whatever i come up with will be absolute shit compared to what louis' cooked up. hmmm.... (shitty lyric analysis ahead) "you used to read me like a headline",,,, headlines, well, they're usually bad. or negative is the word. louis has a cynical view on journalism written about him. generally, it seems like he doesn't like them. they're clickbait-y, they're sometimes false, they pull viewers in using shock factor— it doesn't give you the full picture is the thing. being read like a headline sounds awful. this implies his partner doesn't actually know him that well, or has a one-dimensional view of him. the lyrics "so fast to judge in error, you thought you knew me better" support that idea. the opening and ending lyric,,, "sometimes i wake up and i hear you through the silence" and "...wake up and i wish you were beside me",

16. All This Time:

"dance genre"

in my head, it makes perfect sense to group this title with Back To You, Miss You, Always You, and Habit, and All Along🫣 but obviously, i could be completely and embarrassingly wrong. louis is the king of writing songs about missing/going back to toxic, unhealthy relationships and based on the title alone, i think this has similar themes to those songs. this song was described as dance-y though, so i'm really feeling the Always You theme. i don't want AY's "i miss you 🥺, i was so wrong for leaving you🥺" though, i want this one to burn though; i want it to go for the throat. edit: he played this on the listening parties & people said this was actually kind of laid back???? almost lo-fi sound??? alt indie electronica dance?? people who went to the listening parties don't talk about this song much😭 and it's the lowest on my list,,,,, i'm sure it's a great song though!!!!!

[the songs below don't count on the song ranking bc we already heard 'em, so... but here are my thoughts!]

17. Bigger Than Me:

lead single!!! this is my First!!! Ever!!!!! louis official song release🥹🥹🥹 shes very special to me 🫶 tbh i didnt expect this kind of sound for fitf! my first impression of this song was that it sounded like a blend of Walls and Defenceless. it could've easily fit with Walls album, too. it's a really good, upbeat song, im obsessed. i do admit it wasnt love at first listen but that's only bc i expected he'd go for a rocky-er song. the instrumentation is in this one, his vocals, lyrics that actually Mean something,,, mwa chefs kiss! amazing choice for a lead single (but for some reason isn't being pushed by radio lmao.......)

18. Saved by a Stranger:

"vulnerable and poignant"

19. Copy of a Copy of a Copy (Live from Lima):

a moving song, it came at a very unexpected time too (near btm release week, when there was much happiness and excitement about the new era). the lyrics are simple but they weigh heavy on my heart. this being the accompanying song to Bigger Than Me (song about acceptance, healing and growth) is a deliberate choice by louis, and that fact makes me miserable!!!!! i like the themes (ugly face of fame, comfort in anonymity, genuine human connections, and obvious references to depression and suicide) and how it was delivered soo simply but, aaughhHH thinking about this song long enough always puts me to tears :( also i just wanna say,,,, i personally do not think the "she" are the fans like🧍‍♀️ it's a song that portrays fame in quite a negative light, so the fans he earned from that same fame is not what saved him... i think! personally!!! it's someone who doesn't even know who he is "and i wonder if she still remembers me". having a person you do not even know care about your safety and wellbeing only because you share the experience of being human with them. that is just me though so if u disagree and have your own personal meaning to this song, then it's totally fine!!! take what u want from this song. OH and also, it sounds like the guitar part in the afhf doc !

still my number one! the revelation that louis wrote it all by himself is incredibly sexy, and just reaffirms how much of an amazing songwriter he is. the sound editing/production of Bigger Than Me (Live from Milan) was amazing, so i cannot wait how copy (live) will sound!

tbh when i typed it all out as a list and seeing which songs are higher than the other, i feel unsure lol i'm not 100% on it! it's fine though bc i havent heard any of these (except for btm, sbas & coacoac)!!!!!!!! it's going to change drastically once fitf is released anyway <3

my album expectations:

okay,, album expectations/predictions time !

overall genre: grunge-y indie rock, alternative, pop punk, pop rock, soft rock(?), alternative dance(???), some ballads here and there but generally big and loud songs meant for live shows, arenas and stadiums <3

fitf concept will be about: love and healing, growth, and having faith in the future, acceptance, changes, & coming of age,,, i want him to talk some shit too though 👀

i think we'll get 3 singles: (1) Bigger Than Me, & my guesses: (2) Out of My Sytem (3) Lucky Again (starting to really doubt we'd get a third single bc it's so quiet & releasing a single close to the album release is a little dumb i think, but at the same time having only 2 singles feels wrong..... well, this was my original prediction so im sticking w 3 even though it'd be weird to at this point)

this tweet that says with the listening parties, he's letting fans hear the "mid" songs😭 so this means allll the songs he's still gatekeeping from us are his best!!!!! (not saturdays tho bc it's in his top 3... grain of salt bc ik some bitches r liars)

he said it's not as polished as walls, not as heavy emotionally, so i think we'll get an album that's just him having fun with the sounds and trying new things- lighter, more spontaneous & dance-y vibe. he said it would give us hope.

of course, im expecting the lyric quality to be better than walls ! i personally thought otb was his best song lyrically from walls (regardless of the discourse on whether he wrote on it or blah), so i cant wait for him to top that! (im team otb > copy lyrics wise btw)

i still want a song similar to Miss You so he can tour it

i hope we can hear more of louis' vocal range on this album <3 bigger than me already delivered but i need more 😋🤲

i still think the tiny bit the band plays after kmm is actually part of a song from fitf bc apparently louis already finished 99% of it before(!!!) tour started,,, i could be super wrong lol

louis will actually play guitar on stage before the encore i know it bc he told me ;)

i expect to completely fall head over heels in love with this album!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#thank u anon sincerely for making me daydream ab fitf😭 i have so many thoughts <3 that i originally never intended to publicize lol💘 #and wow if you made it this far and still reading the tags then omg marry me💘 what do u think? ask me anonymously if my answer sucked LOL #NOOO I ACCIDENTALLY PRESSED POST SHSHHSBJSJD #well . if theres any typos i'll deal with them later but these r my thoughts. im so indecisive i dont even think this is my final ranking #edit: disabled the rb function i forgot u could do that #this needs a lot of editing she wasnt ready to be shared w the world

[woahajimes]

🍯🥞🌻🍑🧵

🍯 Honey: What is one thing you like about yourself?

hmmmm not to be a narcissist but i cant pick there are too many 😩 but my eyes are one <3

🥞 Pancake: What is your favorite breakfast food?

i have... so many...

waffles

crepes

frozen blueberry pancakes (warmed up obv)

avocado toast

another long list of latin breakfast foods that i love

dim sum (ive had it for breakfast a few times and anyways its like my favourite thing ever)

sometimes just cereal and milk

juice but like. from the actual fruit yk (thats a whole other list i just love fruits so much-)

sometimes just. fruit. a fruit bowl.

🌻 Sunflower: What is one thing that brightened your day today?

ANOTHER LIST! i just really liked today

making plans with my friend <333

talking to anons

matching pfps w/ reg (even tho they're a loser and picked the ugliest match ever AND took the better half)

making breakfast

taking my dog out in the afternoon

THE BI FLAG THAT WAS DRAWN ON THE SIDEWALK!!! IT MADE ME FEEL REALLY HAPPY

trying on new styles with eyeliner

scrolling thru lesbian reels??? my ig reels are now all from wlw tiktok and ??? how???? but anyways i want a s/o now 😔

my dog sleeping on my bed but he wasn't there when i went to sleep BUT WHEN I WOKE UP that little bitch was literally right beside me no not on the pillow beside me but literally right beside my head we shared a pillow for idk how long

🍑 Peach: What is a color that makes you smile?

LIGHT YELLOW AND LIGHT BLUE and LIGHT PURPLE AND LIGHT PINK AND LIGHT GREEN (but like that one specific shade of light green that's like dark green but add white), and dark red and black and white and-

🧵 Thread: What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

uhh absolutely none lmao i haven't created anything good at all KFDDSJKJ but I'm working on it i have the itch to paint/draw sth but idk what so yeah

send me an emoji!

#send me an ask! #anonymous #im reading it over and i seem like a ridiculously upbeat person #bleugh

[fumingspice]

andante

Pairing: Cordelia Goode x Reader

Prompt: oK so how about like?? Delia x reader and they're both in love af but they think the other has no feelings for them so they're both tripping over themselves to make the other love them and then madison comes in and she's just like 'stop being dumb' and they finally realise how much the other loves them.

I’m sorry but my ed crept back in and im not horny enough to put more thought into writing so just ignore the massive time skip at “---”. enjoy, you strange people xo

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*(*❦ω❦)*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It's crazy. Falling. You see? We don't say "rising into love". There is in it, the idea of the fall. And it goes back to extremely fundamental things. That there is always a curious tie at some point between the fall and the creation. Taking this ghastly risk is the condition of there being life. You see, for all life is an act of faith and an act of gamble...

Between Cordelia Goode's ears were pretty brown eyes and a mind full of thoughts. Brown eyes were never really your favourite until you saw them on her. You knew yourself that somehow, over the years you got to know Cordelia; working with her, befriending her, carrying her home from the bar one night when she got far too drunk, letting her cry into your shoulder when her job became too real and she could feel her mother's words hanging over her head.

When you started falling for the woman with those beautiful brown eyes.

Somehow, her eyes were now your favourite colour.

Not brown- brown wasn't simply the word for the colour. Cordelia's eyes were the colour of aged whiskey. Sometimes they were the only two safe shots of tequila that you could see. Sometimes they were a beautiful milk chocolate dotted with exposed honeycomb. Once when she had asked you to help her decorate the garden for the Summer Equinox- she had given Zoe enough money to take the girls on a field trip for the day so she could give the girls a little party. You stood watching her in her denim shorts and her white button up. When she had stepped back and put her arm around you to admire both of your handy work you could have sworn her eyes were glowing like fresh magma.

Her hand lay on your waist a split second too long.

You had fallen in love with the Supreme.

"Yo, bitch!" Madison Montgomery's usual entrance phrase disturbed you from your imagination. You raised your brow and smirked.

"Yes, Madison?"

The blonde took her sunglasses off her face and closed them with a slight snap. "The girls want to know if you wanna come to play Pysch! with us," she said. Her lips were curled in what could almost be described as a friendly smile. You were one of the few honoured to know that under Madison's bitchy white girl facade there was actually a very sweet someone lurking under there.

You thought for a moment and put your pen down. "I won't be long- I just have to log these last few names and I'll be there," you tell her. Madison rolled her eyes and waved her hand, the pen lifted itself and wrote the last thirteen names within seconds. "You're done. Let's go, Y/N."

Madison didn't even give you a minute to say anything before she walked out of the room. "Come on, bitch. Don't make me use my powers!" she called from the hallway, finally motivating you to move.

The girls sat in a circle in Zoe's bedroom. Lights off. Candles lit.

Zoe, Queenie, Mallory, and Coco were indulged in their phones for the game. Madison turned to you and held up her phone to show you the question. "What is Zoe's deepest, darkest secret?" she read. "You gotta answer it and the person with the most votes wins. It lasts for ten rounds and it can be fucking hilarious."

Zoe's face was red with laughter at the answers. "She's not actually a witch- that's not even funny," she gasped through cackles. She then sobered slightly. "She likes to watch Danny Devito movies while masturbating and screaming 'I am a dirty man'."

Madison was the only one who chortled at that.

You joined the game and got your best answers ready in your head. "If Madison got arrested tomorrow what would it be for?"

Madison rolled her eyes and muttered something about knowing exactly what everyone was about to answer. You smirked slightly, sensing her slight apprehension.

Prostitution.

Murder. Third-degree.

Fucking up the brakes on a bus full of frat boys.

Public Nudity.

"Gosh, you're so original," she muttered, glaring right at Zoe, who just shrugged.

"It's the rules of the game, bitch. Go all in, don't get offended," she replied.

The game pinged for the next question.

"What is on Y/N's mind right now?"

Coco gave a loud "Ha!" and typed quickly, along with the other girls who were all typing as quickly as possible to get their answers in first.

A quiet knock came from the other side of the door and Cordelia poked her head around. "Sorry to interrupt, girls. Y/N, could I borrow you for a moment?" she asked, voice sweet and angelic. You bounced up as soon as she finished the sentence and obliged straight away. You were met with a sweet smile.

Madison flicked her brows. "Speak of the devil," she muttered, winking at Delia's slightly confused face. As you left, your phone pinged to announce the results just before you left the game.

Cordelia 🥵🥵🥵

Delia. I ship it <3

Getting knuckle deep finger fucked by the HWIC

French fries

You quickly shut off your phone screen before Cordelia could see.

"What's the matter, Delia?" You asked, practically skipping alongside her. There was a vibrant air of satisfaction between you.

Cordelia shook her head, her blonde hair bobbing with her movements. “I just wanted to know if you’d like to go out.”

You felt your heart stop. “Go out?”

Cordelia looked hurt by the confusion on your face.

“Yes. Would you like to join me in the garden?”

“Oh,” you realised, slightly disappointed. “I would love to.”

---

"For the love of Hades. Right, I don’t mean to sound rude or anything because I have some understanding that lesbians are fucking useless because of the fear of appearing to be predatory because the media is an asshole,” Madison continued. “But I don’t really think any of us can eat at this table anymore without choking on the fucking sexual tension between the both of you.”

Cordelia looked shocked. “It’s not that-”

“I’m a fucking mindreader! You do get that I can fucking hear the things that you say in your head about what you want to do to Y/N? I’m one gutter minded bitch and not even I’m creative enough to come up with that shit while I’m eating my fucking apple turnover!”

You blushed hard and chuckled.

Madison’s neck snapped towards you. “Oh, and don’t getting me fucking started on you! Do you know how fucking unsanitary it would be to carry out your little fantasies of fucking Cordy on the kitchen counter? Not even for us but the amount of fucking crumbs that would work into your nooks and crannies would be like trying to spring clean Myrtle's fucking hair! "

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Cordelia chuckled nervously. Her face turning a shade of red. “I’m sure Y/N’s got plenty of better options.”

Madison dropped her face in her hands and rubbed her temples. “God, you bitches are going to put fucking years on my skin.”

“Oh, give me a break, Madison.”

Cordelia stumbled foward slightly, having been tripped up by some unseeable force and sending her tumbling into you. Her hands lay against your chest for that split second too long once more.

Your lips parted for a moment and your breath hitched as you both watched Madison smirk and leave the room. It felt like your heart was beating at a thousand miles an hour. You surroundings were unnoticable to you now; replaced by unidentifiable whirls of colour and light. Your hand rested flat on Cordelia’s cheek. It was different this time. Not the spark, that had been there every time you touched. It was the fact that you were both too slow to ignore the ignition that started in your chests. 

You saw her eyebrows falter from their previously confident expression, like all of her preparation and barriers and walls had fallen down and she was too slow to replace them. Cordelia pursed her lips, presumably trying to figure out what she should say to you. Again, she was too slow as you inhaled sharply and thrust yourself forward to catch her lips.

Delia was quick to mould herself to the curves of your front, hands falling to the small of your back on a collision course as she backed you into the dining room table. You smoothed your hands over the contours of her jaw, her collar bones, breasts, hips like you were a master pianist playing a brilliant concerto. Her body was the only instrument you longed to play; her moans the only melody that you longed to draw from her.

As her lips glided across your own, everything came together like pieces into place. You thought back one of those late nights in the kitchen. The way Delia’s fingers had so enthusiastically laced through yours during the late night in the kitchen when you had both stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking about life. How the witch had turned the radio on and taken your hand while you danced to some song by REO Speedwagon. Twirling you through the night. “Can’t fight this feeling” was the song. Ironic, now that you thought about it. It seemed as though fighting her feelings was what she had been doing the entire time.

She twirled you around in the light of the dim television and the refrigerator when the songs were upbeat, even going as far as dipping you and pulling you up again. Bare thighs against your own in her shorts and oversized shirt. When the songs that were played were slower, she was more gentle. Until eventually you swayed in a slow two-step, your head against her chest, and hers against yours. The air was thick with something pure. Something untouched. 

You had no idea why you ever just thought this was something two best friends did. More so, you had no idea why you didn’t lean back and dip into her lips and allow your souls to dance the waltz that they were so clearly destined for. 

Cordelia’s thumb and finger lay on either side of your jaw as she continued to kiss you as if her soul depended on it. Her fingers interlocked with yours against the table.

She broke away, tears had fallen down her cheeks and made your heart melt. “Oh-ho,” you chuckled, mouth agape at her sight. “Why the tears, my love?”

Cordelia laughed, wiping away her tears. “I’ve longed to do that for so long,” she replied. “So, so long.”

You chuckled at her sweetness and the display of pure love that you were so unaccustomed to.

“I fell in love with you, Y/N. I don’t think I will ever stop falling in love with you. You’ve created this storm of beautiful chaos in me,” she continued. “Do you remember that night where I was really sleepy, so you let me just stay in your room? How I had fallen asleep on top of you by accident and you wrapped your arms around me and hummed a lullaby?”

You nodded, remember the feeling of waking up with the Supreme in your arms.

“I was wide awake,” she told you. A delicate smile arose.

You chuckled into her touch.

“Oh, sweetheart,” you replied, drawing her closer, her blonde hair twirled in your fingers. “I know you were.”

#ahs #ahs imagines #cordelia goode #cordelia foxx #cordelia goode x reader #cordelia foxx x reader #wilhemina venable #wilhemina venable x reader #billie dean howard #billie dean howard x reader #lana winters #lana winters x reader #sally mckenna #sally mckenna x reader

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

Part 4

Summary: Soulmates have different ways of being connected to one another. Sometimes it’s through being able to write on their arms and having it show up on their soulmates. For others it was having their first words spoken to one another permanently tattooed into their skin. You had a unique connection with yours, one that you really hadn’t ever heard of happening before. Whatever song was stuck in your soulmate’s head was also stuck in yours and the same was for them. When Yoongi realizes one of his songs is playing on repeat in your head, he immediately takes to writing songs to communicate with you in hopes it will finally bring you two together.

Genre: Fluff. Just pure tooth rotting, sweet fluff.

Part 1      Part 2      Part 3     Part 5

Yoongi only slept for a few hours before he woke up and immediately started working on a new song for you. This one he wanted to make more light hearted and fun. And to do that he was going to bring up your questionable taste in music and how it was absolute torture some days listening to the songs that were stuck in your head. He laughs to himself as he writes the lyrics and picks an upbeat melody to include with it, hoping you know that this song was meant to be teasing and he wasn’t actually mad at you. As he is writing a song enters his head, letting him know that you must be awake. But he is not too thrilled with your choice this time. 

“Into the unknown? Really?” He sighs but can’t hide the fond smile that spreads across his face. “I’m a little offended you aren’t listening to my song but I mean hey, to each their own.” 

“Who are you talking to hyung?” Yoongi jumps and spins around in his chair to see Taehyung standing behind him. 

“Tae? What are you doing?”

“I came to make sure you had actually gone to sleep but I should have known.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know I slept for a solid 4 hours thank you very much.” Taehyung attempts to stifle a giggle as he is supposed to be scolding his hyung but one escapes him. “How’s the song writing going though?”

“It’s going really well. I had no trouble with this one. The songs are just coming naturally to me now.” 

“That’s great. I’m sure your soulmate loves being able to hear your songs and know that you are thinking about them.” 

“Always. I never stop thinking about them to be honest...” Yoongi trails off as if he is considering something.

“Is everything okay?”

“Can I talk to you about something... and don’t tell the other guys yet please?” Taehyung walks further into the studio sitting on the couch and patting the space next to him. Yoongi gets off his chair and sits next to Taehyung. “Yesterday.. I was reading the replies on my new song and this one stood out to me. I don’t know why. But I couldn’t help but feel maybe this person was my soulmate. But another part of me thinks I am just so soulmate deprived that I am trying to see them in everybody.” 

“Can I see the reply?” Yoongi opens up the fake twitter he made and Taehyung bursts out laughing. “Hyung.. your twitter handle. What the hell.” Taehyung continues laughing much to Yoongi’s annoyance. “’I’m not Min Yoongi’. That’s hilarious.” 

“I panicked trying to think of a quick name to talk to them okay?! Stop teasing me and give me my phone back.”

“No no! I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’ll stop.” Taehyung reads over the reply and furrows his brows. “I mean.. you really have no proof this person is your soulmate. Anyone could have written this comment trying to fool you.” Yoongi sighs.

“That’s what I thought. I knew I was just being crazy. But-”

“Wait a minute I’m not finished. What do you feel, Yoongi? Your gut and your heart will tell you the truth. Do you really feel that this person is your soulmate?”  Yoongi pauses for a moment.. remembering the instant spark he felt when he read your reply and the sense of happiness and calm that washed over him. 

“I do.” 

“Then that’s all you need to know.” Taehyung hands him his phone back with a gentle smile on his face. “But maybe talk to them a little bit more before you jump into this head first. I don’t want to see you end up heartbroken if it turns out this person isn’t your soulmate.” 

“That’s a good idea. Thank you, Tae.” 

“Of course! Now finish up that song and go to bed!” 

“Yes, sir.” 

Taehyung leaves and Yoongi sits back in his chair, putting the finishing touches on his song and posting it to Twitter. He goes to your page and waits to see a reply pop up, and when he does he is not disappointed. 

“I told you all of those songs you were making me listen to were torturing him! Now look what you did. There is a whole song now dedicated to my ‘colorful taste’ in music. I hate you.” You pick a pillow off the bed and throw it at your friend who is laughing hysterically. 

“At least you made an impression on him! You’re welcome!” 

“I am not thanking you for this.” 

“Aw come on y/n. This song wasn’t meant to be mean! It’s very light hearted and fun. He’s fond of you. You can tell it in the way he raps about you. It might have annoyed him at first but now I think he kind of looks forward to it.” 

“Yeah yeah. Well at least now I can have this song stuck in my head now and not the one from Frozen you were blaring this morning.”

“Hey that is a fantastic song. It’s not my fault you have no taste.” You roll your eyes and go to leave a reply underneath.

Sorry. My friend did that to torture you it wasn’t me, I swear. I’d much rather have your music stuck in my head. 

You post it and get out of bed to get ready for the day when your phone goes off. You check the notifications and see a reply from the same account from yesterday.

“Huh.” 

“What is it?” Your friend walks over to you to see what you’re looking at. 

“This same account replied to me yesterday too..” Suddenly your friend starts laughing.

“‘Im not min yoongi’... That’s totally freaking Yoongi who does he think he’s trying to fool.” 

“What are you talking about? That is not Yoongi!” 

“I bet you my life savings that it is.”

“So.. $10?” 

“Shut up you brat!” Your friend tosses the pillow back at you and you both start laughing. “Think about it y/n. He probably felt drawn to you too and panicked making a fake account just so he could talk to you and see if you really were his soulmate.”

“Well why hasn’t he said anything then?”

“Because he isn’t sure if it really is you. He probably is afraid of getting his heart broken if it turns out you aren’t soulmates.” 

“But we are..” You say with a slight pout.

“We know that y/n. But he doesn’t. He’s taking a shot in the dark here.” 

“You’re right.” 

“What did he say back anyway?” 

“He said ‘lol what songs have you been torturing the poor guy with that he had to write a whole song dedicated to it’.”

“Okay I think this is his way of finding out if you really are his soulmate. If you tell him all of the songs I have been playing for you then he’ll know!” You take a deep breath and reply to him. 

Hollaback Girl, Most of the songs from Frozen, I think even a death metal song once. 

Hahahaha poor guy. Maybe you should give him a little break? Must be hard writing lyrics and producing songs with those playing in his head. 

I have been. Lately it’s been his songs stuck in my head except for the little slip up this morning.

What slip up?

My friend set into the unknown as the alarm to wake us up. 

After that you don’t receive another reply, and opt to go about your day as a means of distraction. 

Yoongi drops the phone onto his desk. It’s you. After all this time he finally found you. Only his soulmate would know what song they had stuck in Yoongi’s head this morning. Without even realizing it a few tears have begun rolling down his face. They’re tears of happiness, of relief. Finally fate decided to grant him this one kindness and bring you two together. He doesn’t want to just outright ask you to meet him, there is still a nagging doubt in the back of his mind that maybe this is all just some prank, or a delusion. He knows he has to find a way to slip a meeting place and time into his lyrics. And he knows exactly how he wants to do that. It is with this thought in mind that he finally drifts off to sleep. 

The next morning he calls all the members and asks them to come to his studio. They are all now there sitting on the floor and couch looking at him anxiously. 

“I found my soulmate.” They all audibly gasp at this except for Taehyung who already knew. Yoongi wouldn’t have opened up to him before about it if he wasn’t already certain. 

“What?! Yoongi that’s great!” Hoseok exclaims while clapping his hands excitedly. “How did you find them?” Yoongi begins to explain the first interaction you two had, the feelings he felt. But then when he named the solid proof he now had everyone seemed to breathe out a sigh of relief. 

“Yoongi that’s great. Really you know we are all so incredibly happy for you. When do we get to meet them?” Namjoon asks. 

“See that’s the thing. I know I am probably being ridiculous for still having doubts. But before I officially meet them I want to write a song that would include a possible meeting place and time for us. I have an idea. I know it would be much easier to just fly them out here but.. I want to meet them first so I know. So I can be absolutely certain before I dive into this. It wouldn’t be the first time I thought I found my soulmate and it turned out they weren’t.” Namjoon nods in understanding. 

“So what did you have in mind?” 

You are just about to go to sleep when your phone notifies you that Yoongi has posted yet another song. You open it and bring up the English translation. Your friend stayed the night with you again incase they posted another song, wanting to be there for you and help you figure out the meaning behind everything. You both have it open and are reading the lyrics and you are confused. 

“I don’t understand...” 

“What do you mean?”

“He’s writing these lyrics as if he’s already met his soulmate. He’s talking about how their love flows freely like a river, how they met on a crisp autumn night, how they walked among the cosmos. I... I really thought he was my soulmate but I was just fooling myself.”

“Y/n come on you can’t be that dense.” You tilt your head at your friend in confusion. “He is telling you how he wants to meet you! The first day of autumn is only a few days away. He wants to meet you then.”

“Oh...”

“And the part about the river... Maybe he wants to meet you at one of the Han River Parks.”

“There’s more than one park. How the hell are we supposed to find the one he is talking about? Unless...”

“Unless what?” 

“Cosmos. Those are a type of flowers aren’t they? Is there a specific park that is famous for them?” Your friend quickly turns to the internet to find out. 

“It looks like Guri Hangang Park is famous for the cosmos blooming in September. Many people love to go see the flowers blooming there during that time.” 

“I guess we’re going to Seoul?”

“I guess so.” You take out your phone and reply under the latest song Yoongi has posted.

I’ll see you soon. 

Yoongi reads the words over and over again and his heart is absolutely soaring in his chest. He finally gets to meet you. He was finally able to communicate with his soulmate through his music well enough to be able to meet you. The first day of fall is only a few days away. In just a few days he’s finally going to be able to meet you, his soulmate. The one person he was wanted to meet more than anyone in his life. He’s finally going to be able to hug you, kiss you, hold your hand, take you on dates and just be with you. He clutches a hand over his heart as he feels like it is going to beat out of his chest. 

I’ll be waiting. 

Taglist: @anoesjkaax​​​  @just-call-me-trash-can​ @thestral-balerion​ @xcastielbabyangelface​ @rukinamukami​ @r-e-d-i-s-h​ @heartblackerthancoffee​ @rosita7703​   @jacjacwashere​   @purpletigertaetae​  @woodstockisjustlikealittlekid​  @supernatural-bangtanboys​ 

(for some reason it won’t let me tag some people so if you asked to be added and you’re not on here I’m sorry :( I don’t know what’s up with tumblr.)

#Yoongi x reader #reader x yoongi #bts #min yoongi #suga #bts fanfic #yoongi fanfic #suga fanfic #bts fluff #yoongi fluff #suga fluff #bts soulmate au

[dawninlatin]

Queen of Peace, chapter 9

A Manorian High School AU

Words: 2780

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Summary: Manon Blackbeak is flawless, untouchable. From the outside at least. Her grandmother pushes her to achieve greatness, and she doesn’t let anyone get too close in fear of being hurt. How can anyone love her when not even her parents could?

Dorian Havilliard has always felt safe and confident around his friends. He might not have the greatest of families, but with Aelin and Chaol by his side, nothing can go wrong. That is until he tries keeping his greatest secret from them.

What will happen when Dorian and Manon gets to know one another? Can two lost souls find their way back together?

Sometimes I wish for falling

Wish for the release

Wish for falling through the air

To give me some relief

-Florence + The Machine, Falling

«So what did you do yesterday? Since you’re doing your homework last minute.» Dorian looked up from his math homework to find Manon taking him in with an amused expression.

They were sitting in the busy coffee shop a few blocks from school, spending their shared free period eating lunch together. Or, Manon was eating lunch while Dorian tried his very best to finish the homework he’d forgotten to do last night.

A few weeks had passed since the two of them had agreed to be friends, and almost immediately they’d fallen into a rhythm. They got coffee after school, they hung out during free periods, they met up at the library to do homework together. Manon still claimed she only did this so Dorian would stop bugging her, but she’d been the one suggesting they go out for lunch today.

«Erhm-,» Dorian begun, debating whether the truth would make her laugh or make him lose his last shred of dignity or both, even. Fuck it, he decided and confidently stated, «I was up watching Riverdale.» If you’re losing your dignity, better do it with swagger.

It took Manon a while to actually register what he’d said, but when she did, she set down her coffee and let out a snort. A snort that quickly turned into her lilting cackle. One thing Dorian had learned over these past few weeks was that nothing made her laugh harder than his suffering, and to be honest, Dorian didn’t mind. Not at all. She was adorable when she laughed.

«You didn’t mean that? Right?» Manon asked, suddenly all serious. «Please tell me you’re joking.» Dorian shot her a confused look.

«That show is literal trash,» she kept going once she realized Dorian had in fact not been kidding. «Sorry I changed my mind we’re not friends anymore, sorry, bye.» Manon even went as far as to start gathering up her things, but the barely-there smile playing on her lips told Dorian she was very much enjoying this.

«You just have to give it a try, it’s not that bad,» Dorian said, Manon sitting back down across from him. As he noticed a faint blush spreading on her cheeks, something in his head clicked into place. «You’ve watched it, haven’t you?»

Rolling her eyes, Manon answered, «Yes, but it was years ago. I watched a few episodes with Asterin.» Upon seeing Dorian’s smug expression, she quickly added, «Unwillingly.»

If it had been years ago…This time, Dorian was the one to break out into uncontrollable laughter. Oh my god, he thought, clutching his stomach. «You thought the first season was bad??» he managed to choke out. Manon only looked at him with a dumbfounded expression, having no idea what was so funny.

«I would give anything to see you watch season three and four. That’s when it really gets ridiculous,» Dorian explained, his laughter finally dying down. Manon chuckled and shook her head, returning to her half-full cup of coffee.

She stared out the window, and Dorian allowed himself to take her in, if only for a moment. There had been more and more of these moments over the past few weeks. Moments where she was looking a different way, moments where Dorian couldn’t stop his eyes from landing on her, moments where he found it impossible to look away. Dorian hadn’t let himself think about what it meant. Manon had been very clear from the beginning that they were only friends, and they would never be more than that.

Manon was like the sun, Dorian had decided. You knew you shouldn’t stare at it, but that was the exact reason why you did, why it was so hard to look away.

«Okay, but apart from Riverdale, have you watched anything good? I don’t watch much TV, but…» She never finished the sentence, seemingly lost in her own mind. Manon did that sometimes, trailing off to gods knew where. Dorian was certain it was a beautiful place.

Taking some time to think, Dorian tried to come up with a good show, sorting through the catalogue in his mind for something it was likely she had watched. Suddenly he thought of how she had loved reading a fantasy series, how eager she got whenever they discussed history or mythology. Hesitantly, he suggested, «Game of Thrones?» Manon’s eyes lit up.

«Yes!» She put down her empty cup. «Oh that was so good-»

«-apart from the final season,» Dorian finished.

A sigh. «Jon Snow deserved better.»

«I know. His storyline was a tragedy.»

Manon bit her lip, sinking further into her chair. «You know, I only started watching it because I thought he was hot.» She blushed, and Dorian couldn’t help but chuckle. «I stayed for the plot though. I swear!»

Same, Dorian nearly blurted out, before a voice in his head reminded him, Manon doesn’t know you’re bi. He wasn’t going to think about this now, so he shook his head and forced his signature smirk to appear, ignoring the sinking feeling in his gut.

«I still can’t get over the fact that you drink chocolate Frappuccinos with extra cream.» Smooth, Dorian, it definitely does not seem like you’re avoiding the subject of your shared fictional crush.

«Why?» she chuckled. «You expect me to order my coffee extra bitter so it matches my soul? While we’re at it, let me just gather up my things and head home to my cottage in the woods where I fly around on broomsticks and brew weird shit in cauldrons. My black cat must be tired of waiting.»

They were both laughing now, Manon’s dark, wicked sense of humor still taking him by surprise. «For real though, what do you do when you’re not at school or at dance practice?»

«Uhm,» Manon looked down at her shoes, suddenly uncomfortable. They hardly talked about serious stuff, private stuff. Dorian was ready to change the subject once more, but then she spoke: «I listen to music a lot, I guess.» A shrug.

«Anything good?»

«Doubt it, you seem like the type to listen to mainstream shit.»

«Please. And I bet your music isn’t as special as you think.»

«I bet you don’t know half of the stuff I listen to.»

«Why don’t you give me some examples?»

«Why don’t I send you a playlist when I get home?»

«Can’t wait,» Dorian smiled.

-

Gods, how difficult could it be to make a playlist?

Manon had been sitting with her laptop for an hour now, scrolling through her endless Spotify library to find the perfect songs. Nothing too mainstream, nothing too personal, nothing too impersonal. This was one hell of a challenge, she decided.

After narrowing it down to twenty songs she loved, after finding the perfect balance between upbeat and slow, between sad and happy, after meticulously arranging the order, making it not only a playlist, but a musical experience, Manon decided this would have to do.

Why do you care so much? She didn’t dare answer the question, too afraid of what the answer might mean. This was just her sending a friend a casual playlist.

Except it wasn’t. Nothing about her music was casual. It meant everything to her. Manon listened to music when she was happy, when she was sad, angry, whenever she felt lost and needed to be pointed back in the right direction. She listened to music when she was dancing, dreaming, disappearing. If one listened closely, her music revealed all her secrets, all her feelings, and for Manon, who was used to keeping it hidden away, locked in a box deep inside herself, sharing that with someone was terrifying.

But what terrified her the most right now, was that she actually wanted to share her music with Dorian. Being with him always left her feeling light and happy, she had started craving that feeling like a drug. And today…today when he had made her laugh so hard she’d had to set down her half-empty cup so as to not drop it, for a moment, Manon had imagined what it would be like to just lean in and kiss him. It would have been so easy, would have felt so good.

She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that moment, about what it meant. Was she falling for him? Was she actually that stupid?

The only solution, really, was to stop hanging out with him, to ignore her feelings until they went away. So why haven’t you done it yet? Why do you keep going back?

Besides, even if she wanted to be more than friends, there was no way he felt the same way. Sure, he kept joking about how their meet-ups were dates, but that’s all it was, a joke. Being in a relationship with Dorian also meant letting him see who she was up-close, and as soon as he saw the broken, messed up truth, he surely would want nothing to do with her. Better to spare herself the heartbreak.

Ugh, feelings.

Manon decided it was too late to brood over such complex questions. Instead, she typed a quick message to Dorian, linked the playlist and hit send before she could change her mind.

Manon: Here’s the playlist. It’s best enjoyed if you listen to it in the right order. 22:03

And just like that it was done. Manon waited a few minutes for a reply and when none came, she quietly said to herself, «Girl, get your shit together.»

She stood up, stretched, and stepped out of her room to turn of all the lights, ready to just go to sleep. Asterin still hadn’t come home, but it was late, so she probably wouldn’t show up at all. What a surprise, Manon thought to herself.

When she reached the living room, she spied Abraxos staring at her from one of the couches. Manon turned of the lights and the creature immediately leapt to where she was standing in the hallway. «What kind of cat is afraid of the dark?» Manon asked her companion, sighing at his antics. Abraxos only stared up at her as if she was the stupid one.

It was true that the cat was afraid of the dark. Ever since he was a kitten, Abraxos simply refused to be alone in a room if the lights were off. Manon found it equally confusing and adorable.

She walked back to her bedroom, Abraxos trailing her like a shadow the entire time. Laying back down on the bed, Manon picked up her phone to see if Dorian had texted back yet. She couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed when there was no new messages.

«Calm down, it’s not as if he’s looking at his phone at all hours, just waiting for you to text him, you creep,» she said to herself.

Instead of waiting, she opened Spotify, plugged in her earphones, and pressed play on the list she’d just sent Dorian, contempt to shut out the world for a little while.

-

That afternoon, when he’d gotten home from school, Dorian had waited, and waited, and waited, for a text from Manon, including a certain playlist she had promised him. He’d stared at his phone for hours, like some creep, hoping her name would pop up.

Around 10pm he’d given up and opted for spending some electronics-free quality time with his family. His mom’s suggestion, not his. Dorian had lasted about 20 minutes, before he once again fled to his room.

Leaving his phone alone had worked it’s magic though, because when he reunited with it, there was a text from Manon waiting to be opened. He was so eager he typed the wrong passcode. Twice.

Manon: Here’s the playlist. It’s best enjoyed if you listen to it in the right order. 22:03

The text was written in typical Manon-style. No spelling errors, perfect language, no emojis, only periods. What kind of teen only used periods when they texted? Manon never seized to surprise him.

Dorian opened the link, finding a playlist full of songs and artists he’d never heard of before. Told you. He could almost hear Manon’s voice say it, a smug smile playing on her lips.

Plugging his earphones in, Dorian leaned back and pressed play. In the right order, obviously.

-

About an hour later, as the final song died out into nothing, Dorian let out a long exhale, giving himself a moment to just be.

He didn’t know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. It was all so personal, so full of emotion and passion. The complete opposite of what he would have expected from Manon.

Dorian knew this was important. He had been shown a vital part of her, a part he suspected she hadn’t shown anyone before.

Who are you?

It was a question he had asked himself over and over again over the past few weeks. Manon was a mystery, a puzzle, and all that music, all that insight, felt like the most important piece of them all.

Who are you?

Yet he wasn’t sure if this had given him answers, or more questions.

-

Manon listened through the entire playlist without being able to fall a sleep. She had too much on her mind, too many thoughts churning in her head.

Her phone buzzed from the nightstand, and Manon sat up abruptly, knocking over a stack of books as she fumbled around for her phone. They landed on the floor with a bang, waking Abraxos from his carefree slumber in the process. The cat jumped and glared at Manon, then turned his back towards her, settling down once more. Manon did the mature thing and stuck out her tongue at him.

She’d nearly forgotten about the phone in her hand, but glancing down at the screen, she saw Dorian’s name, her heartbeat quickening in response.

Dorian: Sorry for not replying til now but I heard through the entire thing and fine you were right I hadn’t heard any of it before and yes you do have fantastic taste in music pls send me more!!!!! 23:41

Manon chuckled at his enthusiasm, pleased at having been right. She was about to type a response when she heard the front door open, then the sound of someone trying to stay quiet as they made their way through the house. Asterin.

She expected her cousin to go straight to her own room, but instead, Asterin stopped in front of Manon’s door, slowly pushing it open. She must’ve thought Manon was asleep, because she jumped slightly when she found Manon sitting upright, taking her in with curiosity and annoyance.

«I’m s-sorry, I thought you were sleeping,» Asterin whispered, her voice cracking. The sound of shuffling feet. A sniffle. Was Asterin crying?

Asterin walked over to Manon’s bed, and Manon made room for her, sliding under the covers. Asterin soon joined her, and neither said a word, Asterin’s soft crying filling the room.

«Did something happen?» Manon asked at last, unable to handle her cousin’s crying for much longer.

«You can’t tell her,» Asterin sobbed, burying her head in the mountain of pillows.

«Can’t tell her what?» Manon knew Asterin meant their grandmother, the heavy feeling in her stomach told her so. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear the answer. It couldn’t be anything good. Had she and Hunter broken up? Had someone hurt her?

Asterin furiously shook her head. «You have to promise, Manon. She c-can’t find out!»

«I promise,» Manon sighed, clearly uncomfortable. She’d never been good at dealing with crying people.

Still, Manon let Asterin creep closer, let her bury her face in the space between Manon’s neck and shoulder. Putting her arms around her shaking, crying cousin, Manon asked once more, «What’s wrong, Asterin?»

Asterin went completely still, not saying anything. Manon waited, waited to the point where she was sure her cousin had fallen asleep.

As Manon closed her own eyes, Asterin whispered something that made Manon go rigid, the words so quiet you could barely make them out.

«I’m pregnant.»

«Shit,» was all Manon could answer. She tried her hardest not to think about what their grandmother would do if she found out, panic spreading throughout her body.

Asterin started sobbing once more, so Manon began stroking her back, telling her to breathe, telling her to calm down, pushing aside her own worry and fear, for now. «It’s going to be okay,» she whispered to Asterin, not believing her own words one bit.

A/N: Wow I haven't updated this in forever. Sorry....

But as an apology I do come bearing gifts. Not only is this chapter the longest yet, I also made a fic playlist if you wanna vibe<3 In the wise words of Manon Blackbeak, it is best enjoyed in the right order;)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3LFklksVGgX4X8LxoYzbbK?si=oC-3zOZMTC-B5Nd4C3QAZg

Also while I'm at it, a couple disclaimers:

- I have earlier made a lot of references to Harry Potter, but I will no longer do so, as I am not comfortable with referencing the work of an author who do not respect trans people. I hope you all understand this.

- Yes I mock Riverdale in this chapter and if you feel offended know that I will never understand how someone can actually enjoy that show but I DO respect you:)

As always, thank you sooooo much to everyone who takes the time to read, give kudos, like, reblog, write comments etc. For real I love you<3<3

Peace&Love<3 -Dawninlatin

#dawninlatin QoP #tog #throne of glass #sarah j maas #manorian #manon x dorian #dorian x manon #manon blackbeak #dorian havilliard #manorian fanfiction #throne of glass fanfiction

[sunnysidewrites]

The Dove and the Peacock | Joshua vs Junhui

Genre: fluff/angst, meta (abstract concept), a little bit of everything its just a wild ride

Pairing: Reader x Joshua vs Junhui

Word count: 8.4k (this is the longest fully written scenario I’ve ever written omg)

Synopsis: All she had to do was choose between the dove or the peacock. Easy enough, right?

A/N: This was originally written for the same friend I did ZA!Hwiyoung for!! This is written in a completely different writing style than what I usually do (I wanted to try something new), but it still has “me” elements, if that makes sense LOL. This concept is a little abstract and difficult to understand, but I hope you still enjoy reading and pls give me feedback! THIS IS SO LONG I CANT BELIEVE ITS FREAKING 8.4K HOLY CRAP SLKFFL IT SUCKS IM SORRY BUT HAPPY READING FROM YOUR FAV MOM!!!!

Just choose one.

Blank, empty walls surrounded her body, if one would even call it that. She floated around mindlessly, a soul having left her body. She didn’t feel tied down as she did earlier, a weight having lifted off of her. Her limbs freely moved as much as her thoughts wildly ran. Her eyes glazed over the sight in front of her with serenity that would expectedly send one into hysteria.

A hundred – that’s how many birds occupied the empty space, particularly doves and peacocks.

“There’s far too many,” she whispered. She took in every corner of the room, every feather, every color. Where would she even start?

As if reading her mind, the voice cried out again.

You’ll know.

“I’m not so sure about this,” your voice was laced with concern and anxiety. “Relax, Y/N!” your friend countered with her optimism. “What better way to dress up this nice than tonight? You have gorgeous clothes, and it’s time to finally put them to use!”

Your university held its annual ball at the end of the year to celebrate completing finals, and of course it just had to be masquerade-themed. Your fingers fiddled with the hem of your white lace dress that hit mid-thigh with a neckline that would be way too low if it were to plunge an inch or two more. The silver necklace stood out on your chest in contrast to your dark waves cascading down your back pinned back into a half updo with a cream bow. Your other hand grasped the matching glittery black half face mask with a design intricately highlighting your eyes, bolding your eyeliner and mascara, courtesy of your friend’s talent.  “I look ridiculous.”

You saw your friend’s hands land on your shoulders through the mirror with her face almost align to yours. “You look amazing, and you’ll do more than just turn heads,” she cheekily winked before giggling. She gestured to her oppositely colored outfit coordination, “We both look hot! You need to let loose after hitting those books for months. You just finished your last final a few days ago and haven’t been doing anything fun,” she emphasized her last word. “Our graduation is just around the corner, Y/N, and this is the first and last time you will be able to attend this ball.”

You sighed, “You already know I’m not a party person.” You shook your head. “But since you were so nice asking me to go, I’ll do it for you,” you jokingly rolled your eyes as your friend tugged on your arm from delight. She looked at the clock you shared in the apartment and gasped. “We’re going to be late! Let’s go now,” she pushed you out the door and grabbed her bag before securely locking the door behind her.

Upbeat melodies and pumping beats filled every inch of your body once you entered the venue. The dance was already in full-swing despite only having the doors opened fifteen minutes ago. “So much for not going to prom,” you muttered under your breath as you took in the dimly lit room that was quickly tightening due to the amount of attendees arriving. Neutrally colored balloons decorated the ceiling, and some were taped to the inner balconies that upheld couples and their intense makeout sessions. You tore your eyes away and focused on finding the one thing you really came for: the food.

Making a beeline to the mini buffet, you steadily stacked your plate and headed towards to an empty table. You lost your friend long ago when some of her peers stopped her to squeal about how fabulous they both looked on the dance floor, but that wasn’t on your mind as you pleasantly stuffed your mouth with the delicacies. You were midway through finishing your plate when someone’s voice rang out above the music and the chattering.

“Y/N?”

You froze, half of the dessert you were chowing down remaining in your mouth. You’re kidding me, you mentally slapped yourself and tried gulping down the food as a familiar face hidden behind a similar mask appeared from behind you. “It is you! Didn’t think I’d find you here out of all places,” he laughed. You weakly smiled, hurriedly wiping your mouth with a napkin and reaching for your glass. “I could say the same for you, Mr. I-Prefer-Video-Games.”

His sweet laugh sent blood rushing up to your cheeks. “Alright, point taken. Peer pressure?” he asked, casually stuffing his hands in his slacks.

“Peer pressure,” you confirmed with a nod, your lips spreading into a smile with him returning the gesture. “Mind if I join?” Your heart started beating erratically, and you attempted to imperceptibly wipe your sweaty palms on your dress. “S-sure.”

To both of your surprises, a conversation filled with lame jokes and belly laughs occupied the rest of your night. You both revisited the food table countless times, your overstacked empty plates evidently on the table. Your newest dishes were long finished and your conversation had hit a dull end but was replaced with the inevitable slow ballads. You broke your gaze from him and looked at the mountain of plates seemingly about to fall. He awkwardly cleared his throat and uttered words you wouldn’t have imagined hearing in a million years:

“Would you like to dance?”

You abruptly whipped your head back up to meet his hopeful gaze, his hand slightly outstretched. When you didn’t give an immediate response and in return intently stared at his hand, he slowly withdrew it. “I-I’m sorry, I thought you were comfor–”

You quickly grabbed his hand, his mouth slightly agape and eyes widened. “N-no! I… would like to dance with you,” you stammered out, scanning the ground to avoid his gaze (and hide your flushed face). He broke out into a toothy grin, his eyes crinkling into crescents. He swiftly stood up, angling his arm for you to take. “Shall we?” You tried to hold back a smile as your hand slowly touched the crook of his elbow.

“We shall.” You slowly made your way through the dance floor.

“Then what happened?!” your friend practically shouted in your ear despite being on the opposite bed. You covered both sides of your head and winced, “Easy, Y/F/N! I’m getting there!” She let out an exasperated sigh and frustratingly ran her fingers through her hair. “This is what happens when you leave me the second we stepped foot in the dance,” you teased. She huffed, blowing her bangs out of her eyes. “They practically dragged me! And I probably would have been a third wheel anyways.”

You laughed. “I kid, I kid,” you shifted on the bed, pulling your pillow closer to your body. “My arms were around his neck, and his were around my waist. We just… danced,” you dreamily sighed, reminiscing the past events. The way your head fit perfectly in the crook of his neck, the light sensation of his breath on your cheek, the smoothness of your steps, the –

Your friend edged you on, “And?!” You snapped out of last night’s memories and hid the bottom half of your face behind your pillow. “That’s – that’s it,” you shyly mumbled from behind your pillow. Your friend groaned, “That’s it? Girl, you were left alone with the Joshua Hong, adored by essentially every female on campus, and that’s… it?” She straightened her back. “We’re scoring you on a date.”

Your jaw went slack. “A date? This joke is almost as good as convincing me Mingyu and Wonwoo were a thing.”

“Well, doesn’t it seem like it?” She shrugged, “and oh, please! He’s totally into you!” She leaned over. “Joshua Hong whose nose is constantly buried in books when he’s studying and immersed in video games when he’s not, was dancing. With you. You can’t tell me otherwise, Y/N,” she crossed her arms and smirked. You rolled your eyes, “We only bonded because some,” you gestured to your friend, “people pressured us into going. That’s it,” you concluded, letting out a small sigh almost inaudible that your friend might have heard if only she was focused. You tried to ignore the disappointment and dull throb in your chest. That was only the reason why, right?

She already threw open your closet doors and started rummaging for an appropriate outfit. “Oh, hush. My friend is having a small outing this weekend, and guess who’s coming along?” You stared incredulously at her hunched back. “You’re not saying what I think you’re saying, right?”

“I was told I could bring a friend if I want.” She stopped midway and turned around to face you. “You in?”

You sighed, closing your eyes and leaning your head back on the wall. There was just no way of talking her out of this. “Get the skirt out.”

Saturday came rolling around; it was already a full week after that fated night. You and your friend were technically already running late, but since a big number was involved, you still ended up waiting for a few more to show up. Your eyes casually scanned the enlarging group.

“Try to hide your disappointment,” your friend laughed from beside you. You flushed and glared at her. “Don’t give me away!” you angrily whispered. Her teasing gaze soon melted as her eyes went past you. “One o’clock,” she subtly jutted out her jaw.

You turned around and reflexively adjusted your hair and outfit. He was with his own group of friends but his aura stood out the most with his center placement. The light breeze gently pushed back his light brown bangs, revealing more of his flawless skin and nicely shaped eyebrows that shaped his catlike chocolate eyes you could still recall from the dance. He was only wearing a simple white and light blue striped button-up paired with blue skinny jeans and sneakers, but he always managed to make everything look like it was created for him.

“Wow,” you breathed, starstruck and oblivious to your friend’s knowing look. She nudged your shoulder. “You’re boring a hole through him. Take it easy,” she playfully grinned. “Hey guys,” one of Joshua’s friends waved once they joined the group. “Great, everyone’s here! Let’s start heading to the amusement park,” your friend’s friend announced, who you assumed was the one who organized the get-together.

You along with at least fourteen other people began walking to the bus stop, having ten minutes to spare. You were in the middle of conversing with your friend when you felt a figure sidle up next to you. Someone lightly tapped you on your shoulder.

“Hey,” you met Joshua’s smile once you turned your head to the left. Don’t freak out, don’t freak out, don’t freak out, don’t –

You felt a nudge on your right. “H-hi!” He chuckled, taking in the sight of the subtle pink tint on your cheeks. “I haven’t seen you since last week.”

I wonder why. You cleared your throat and looked up at him, “Yeah, funny how we meet again here.” You heard a small snicker on your right and side-eyed your friend who was covering her mouth with her hand.

“Yeah, what a coincidence!” He laughed unknowingly. “Do you like going to amusement parks?” You nodded, deep in thought. “I’m such a homebody,” you gave a small laugh, “but when I’m in the mood to go out, I like going to fun places.” He raised an eyebrow. “Fun? What’s your definition of fun?”

You leaned against the bus stop construction. “Well, for starters,” you began. You and Joshua had once again launched into a lighthearted conversation even after you had arrived at the amusement park. While getting off, you tried to ignore your friend throwing you cheeky looks as her eyes constantly went back and forth between the both of you standing together. Your bodies were closely confined on the packed bus, so much that you couldn’t help but duck your head in embarrassment if having made eye contact with him for more than three full seconds. Your faces were close enough you could see every long lash each time he blinked or gave you his side profile. You gulped and glanced back at your friend who was too immersed in texting someone. Once Joshua found a new topic to bring up, you silently cursed at your friend and turned back to him and relaxed your facial features.

Now, as the group waited in line for tickets, you stood with Joshua, your friend not too far ahead. Once you made your purchase, you started making your way to her, assuming that he would do the same. You walked a few steps only to have a hand on your arm stop you. You found a slightly bashful Joshua, his other free hand awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “Do you… wanna go on the rides together?” his voice slightly wavered.

Wide-eyed, you gaped at him, hastily throwing your head back to look for your friend. Her mouth was open but quickly closed it and gave you a thumbs-up while nodding frantically. You looked at the ground before slowly turning back to him. “I’d love that,” you smiled. He beamed, slowly letting go of your arm. With arms brushing,  you both made your way to the park with smiles on your faces.

Joshua made every wait in line bearable and every ride enjoyable. For the first time in forever, you couldn’t stop talking about – well, anything. The topics ranged from what your plans after college were to a joke your professor made the other day. The sun rays weren’t the only things making you feel warm; you felt it in your chest every time you and Joshua shared a good laugh, and you tried to soak in every detail about him, from the little crinkles of his eyes to the way he excitedly pointed out more thrilling rides for you to go on. When it would get too crowded and you would be occasionally pushed by strangers, you stumbled back into Joshua who was always readily to catch you by the shoulders. “Easy there,” he would always say with a light chuckle, “You okay?” Your faces would be too close for comfort, resulting in you withdrawing from him and glancing at the ground. “I’m fine,” you would always mumble.

In between all the rides, you would grab some food and eventually sat down for a proper lunch at some point. Due to the ridiculous overpriced food and beverages, you shared a fish and chips but each got a separate water bottle. Whenever you stumbled upon a game Joshua found interesting, he would drag you to one and declare he would win a prize for you. In all the games you went to, he was only able to win at a basketball shooting game and gifted you with an adorable white baby seal. You couldn’t help but to break out into a wide grin the rest of the day every time you looked down at the stuffed animal in your hands. You were too captivated by the cuteness of the seal and the memories behind that you failed to catch Joshua’s soft smile and endearing gaze.

Once the group had gotten off at the bus stop, it was already sunset. Most of the group had already dispersed with everyone going in their own direction – all but you, your friend, Joshua, and his friends. You and Joshua reluctantly turned to each other and bid each other goodbye. Before you could turn away to walk back to your friend, he quickly embraced you. You froze in shock for a second before wrapping your arms around him. He pulled away and you both gave each other a smile before turning the opposite way.

The moment he was out of earshot, your friend wiggled her eyebrows, “Ooooh, I saw your little touchy interaction.” You laughed to cover your burning cheeks, “Stop that! It was just a friendly hug.” “Don’t lie to me! I saw the both of you whispering. What did he say?” she bounced on her toes.

You smiled. “Oh, nothing. He just said today was fun.” Your friend pouted. “Whatever. Let’s head home – my feet are killing me. You’re gonna have to catch me up on everything, missy.”

I can’t wait to do this again, his voice still rang in your ears, I keep missing you.

Then come and find me.

“And here we have the Temple of Emerald Buddha!” Your tour guide gestured to the scenery. A burst of “oohs” and “ahhs” filled the hall with a series of shutters and snaps from flashing cameras.

You joined the camera snapping and soon drifted your camera focus to the tour guide. He was practically a work of art himself; a jawline like that wasn’t given to just anyone. You subtly snapped a photo and dropped your camera clinging on to your neck. There was no need to embarrass you further in a foreign country, not to mention in an arm’s length of a cute boy.

The tour continued with frequent meal and restroom breaks accompanied by the relentless clicking of camera shutters and bright flashes. You (and all the other females concentrated on the tour bus) quickly caught on to the tour guide’s all-too-natural flirtiness, i.e., greasy lines that were always similar to “this monument is timelessly beautiful but not comparable to the ladies here, right?” followed by a wink and a chorus of dreamlike “ahhs.” He even tried directly sending you one but you wouldn’t even bat an eyelash; after all, he gets paid to be appealing to the crowd, and who knows how many girls he’s had?

The tour bus soon slowed down in front of the morning location of the check-in near your hotel. There was only a matter of time before the sun would completely disappear below the horizon, and the only thing on your mind was hitting the shower and deep, deep sleep. You and the passengers were filing out and heading back to their respective rooms when someone abruptly tugged on your arm.

I swear, can’t I just get some peace? Irritated, you huffed and turned to tell the person off when you were met with a cheery smile. “What is it?” You snapped, “I need to get ready for tomorrow.” His smile wavered but he still managed to keep it upright. “I think you might have left this on the bus, right?” he inquired with a chuckle, holding out a camera. Your eyes widened and you considered bolting. The first words you uttered to this extremely attractive boy had almost scared him off when he was only trying to help. You reluctantly reached out for his outstretched hand. “…Thanks,” you muttered, avoiding eye contact and hurried off to the hotel. He watched as you go with a slight smirk. What an odd girl.

“Okay, everyone!” The same enthusiastic voice cheered after breakfast was served. “You’re probably sick of being around these same people by now,” he said, earning a round of laughter. “You’ll be encountering more mammals today – many, many,” he breathed out, “many elephants,” another round of laughter, “at Thailand’s Khao Yai National Park! But not just elephants – there are plenty of other exotic species waiting for you to explore. Let’s start filing on the bus,” he gestured.

As you were waiting for the long queue to shorten, you waited to get him alone and hesitantly approached him. He was in the midst of checking for any passengers left behind and was nothing short of surprised to see you beside him. “Hey,” you started shyly, still feeling the leftover embarrassment, “I’m sorry about last night. I was a little cranky from fatigue and all that,” you genuinely admitted and looked in his eyes. “I really do appreciate you returning my camera back though.” His mouth slightly opened before he broke out into a grin, “Ahh, that? Don’t worry about it!” He waved his hand. “It happens to the best of us. I hope you don’t mind I went through your photos to confirm you were the owner.” He suddenly bent down to whisper in your ear, “There was a lot of nice scenery on it. But you know, if you wanted models, no need to be shy with me.” You could practically hear his infamous smirk lodged in his words. Your face furiously flushed red, knowing too well he was referring to that one picture. “I-I was just checking to see if my camera worked!” You defensively crossed your arms. “The button sometimes acts up,” you huffed and turned around to scatter up the stairs but nearly tripped over your feet. You failed to catch the grin he did to himself as he watched you disappear up the stairs.

This will be interesting, you both thought.

Disappointingly enough, the week long tour was drawing to an end, and there was an air of bitter-sweetness among the passengers. The tour guide sadly smiled, “I hope you enjoyed your time at Thailand, everyone. It was a great pleasure serving you,” he deeply bowed while the passengers clapped. “I hope you enjoyed your stay at Thailand. Please do not hesitate to return!” He squeezed in his final words before the bus slowed down to a stop and opened the doors. You felt a tug in your chest, but all you could do was focus on the back of someone’s head as you made your way down the stairs. Your hotel building now seemed to be looming over your head. Dejected, you sighed and threw away all your short-lived regrets in the foreign country.

You arrived in front of the two heavy doors. Once you entered, you knew whatever hopes and romanticized dreams would not travel with you back home.

There was no choice but to choose the –

“Wait!” Your ears twitched. Your head swiveled around, but you didn’t see anyone. Great, you thought. I’m becoming more delusional the longer I stay here. You raised your right arm, hovering over the door handles when you heard it again, this time much clearer and apparent than the last. “Wait, don’t go yet!” You fully turned your body in the direction of the voice.

“The tour guide?” You whispered in disbelief as the distance between you two rapidly closed. His hands rested on his knees, his head bent down, his chest heaving. Needless to say, he was a hot mess.

“I,” he started between gasps, “I was wondering if you were free later today or tomorrow?” He glanced up, his face contorted from the unexpected exercise. You stared at him. Today? The sun had long set. Tomorrow? You were only hours away from departing from the country. There was simply no time, and as much as you wanted to hit yourself for turning down your one shot at romance, you knew there was no way it would have worked out to begin with. As if he was sensing your concerns, he asked, “When do you go back?”

You hesitated before admitting, “Ten.”

“We have plenty of time! We could go to–”

“In the morning.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Oh. Well, that’s no time at all.”

He pulled out his phone and squinted at the screen. “Well, it’s nine now so… we would only have thirteen hours before your flight.” His eyes twinkled as the seemingly permanent smirk returned. “How about we hit a night market in the capital?”

UH, HELLO, YES, LET’S GO Y/N, your heart was pounding.

Girl, you have to be insane to be going out this late at night. You need rest; it’s a long trip back, your brain countered.

You’re about to go on a once-in-a-lifetime date with the hottest guy here. You deserve to live a little!

You need to call it a night already! You’re about to leave this guy and this place in just a bit over half a day.

“You… still there?” He waved his hand in front of your face. You snapped back and mentally facepalmed yourself. You lost count of how many times you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of him. “D-don’t you have a job to get back to?” He shrugged, “I was booked this entire week exclusively for this tour. As far as my schedule shows, I’m not needed until mid-afternoon tomorrow.” He looked down at you with a playful grin. “Any more excuses I need to battle?”

“Shouldn’t you be going over your future tours?”

“Orientation,” he air quoted with his fingers, “isn’t until an hour or so beforehand, which isn’t until 1 PM at the earliest, doll.”

“Don’t you need to check in with your boss?”

“What’s there to check in with? I’m still technically booked with your tour as of right now, and as long as I show up to my next orientation to my appointment, I’m still doing my job.”

“Don’t you–”

“Babe, please, enough with these questions,” he laughed, your face burning at the mention of the pet name he casually threw out. “Are you in?” He held out his palm.

How deja vu. Your eyes flickered between his relaxed features and his hand.

“I… don’t even know your name.”

His eyes softened with his smile. “Junhui. Wen Junhui.”

Well… how often do you get to go on a date with a cute foreign boy?

You took a deep breath and squared your shoulders. “Well, what are we waiting for then? Let’s start heading there now,” you smiled and grasped his hand.

One hectic taxi ride later, you and Junhui were jumping stall to stall, exploring all of Thailand’s unique and different foods. You and Junhui also got closer, both physically and emotionally. The crowded streets left no room for you have a personal bubble. Meanwhile, Junhui used up the excuse of the crowd as much as he could to justify his proximity to you, his hand tugging on your waist. You would be lying if you said you minded the close contact; his scent was too intoxicating. Between all of the stall-hopping, you had managed to snag countless dishes to bring back home all while trying to inhale the food Junhui was feeding you and vice versa. His arm consistently took turns around your shoulders and waist (and him still claiming it was because he didn’t want to lose you in the crowd). You couldn’t even remember the last time you went on a date, but anything you couldn’t recall was what Junhui so proudly reminded you about (and the fact that he kept taking selfies with you so you wouldn’t forget anything). The light feeling in your chest whenever you both shared a laugh and how your hands would tightly intertwine when he would get tired of holding up his arm suddenly carried a heavier weight when the night drew closer to an end. You knew you would have to resume your normal life once you returned to your room, and even moreso once you entered the gates.

Junhui looked down at you worriedly, noticing you had gone quiet. He lightly squeezed your hand. “Something on your mind?” You shook your head, smiling sadly. “Are you sure?” You raised your head to meet his anxious eyes. “No, just… I had a good time today. Thanks for that getaway,” you squeezed his hand back. Sensing the underlying reason of your forlornness, he slowed down in his tracks and stepped in front of you. You quizzically tilted your head while he sighed and for the first time that night, dropped his gaze to the floor.

“There are probably – no, there are many things that we don’t know about each other,” he stated. You held your breath; he looked utterly serious and conflicted yet determined from the look of his eyebrows narrowing. “And I know what kind of image you had of me before tonight.” You opened up your mouth to protest but he snapped his head back up to you to silence whatever words that were now caught in your throat. “I know you thought of me as just a playboy, someone who doesn’t know how to commit.” You anxiously wrung your hands as he continued.

“I’ve never kissed anyone.” You almost took a step back from the shock. “What?”

He laughed dryly. “I never even held hands before – well,” he held up your intertwined fingers. “I never dated, I never asked anyone out, I never even called anyone ‘babe’ or ‘baby,’” he shyly rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks dangerously warming. There was still something you were unsure about. “So why?” Your eyebrows furrowed together. “Why what?” “Why do all of this tonight on me… a girl you’re probably never meeting again?”

He gaped at you before chuckling and merely doing his light hearted shrug. “Life is short, right? I knew from the moment I took on this job that I wouldn’t have the time to have a girlfriend. No matter how many winks I send, it’s all just for show, part of the charismatic tour guide I’m expected to be.” You nodded understandingly. You were curious as to why he chose this particular path, but before you got to ask, he commented, “And why would I pass up getting to know a beautiful girl like you?” You winced and hit him on the shoulder laughing. “Okay, easy on the grease, Mr. Smooth Talker. Well, you’re right about life being too short. I would know that better than anyone else,” you gazed at the glowing city. Completely oblivious to Junhui’s stare, you murmured, “Let’s head back to the hotel. It’s nearly midnight.” You tugged on his arm and started taking a few steps but you were suddenly pulled back and landed straight in a warm embrace.

A million thoughts buzzed in your head. What was he doing? Why was he hugging you? Do you hug back? Do you do nothing? He stroked your hair comfortingly, as if he somehow knew the unspoken secrets that escaped into the night. You didn’t know why, but tears prickled the back of your eyes, and you found yourself wrapping your arms around his torso. No words were exchanged, but you seemed to already know everything about him, and he about you. The walk back was only in comfortable silence with your arms lazily swinging.

You checked out of your hotel the next morning and began heading to the airport with your carry-on in one hand. You stopped and turned back to face the building one last time. The building where so little yet so much had happened – you were about to leave. You chuckled to yourself in astonishment and shook your head, thinking how this one-week trip had just so badly affected you. You smiled bitterly at the hotel and headed to your destination again for good.

You were waiting in line for security check, and once you were through, you would have to force yourself to part with this beautiful country. You still had a decent amount of people before you, but you were critically nearing the front of the line.

“Y/N!”

You froze. Did he seriously…

You turned your head in the opposite direction, and your eyes widened. Junhui was racing down the airport from practically the other end. He’s out of his mind. You began moving up the line as the proximity between you and him decreased. “Junhui! What are you doing here?” He only grasped your forearm and maintained eye contact stronger than ever. “Are we really just leaving things off like this?”

You were only a person away now. “Junhui, please, we both knew this wasn’t really going to work out!” You pleaded with your eyes. “Y/N, you and I both know you’re lying,” his voice cracked. “Next in line,” the security guard called. “I need to go,” you grabbed your carry-on and made your way down to the metal detector. “I’m going to the States soon! Where can I catch you?” Junhui desperately moved down to follow your figure.

He caught one last glimpse of you, a defeated smile hanging on your lips. “San Diego,” you uttered before disappearing.

The moment you stepped foot on familiar ground, you were already getting bombarded with text messages and messages on social media. You sighed and put away your phone, a reminder of how much time had passed. You were greeted by your family and friends and launched into a narrative of just how crazy things were (excluding a certain brown-haired boy).

Despite having only been gone for a week, you found it more difficult to adjust back than you would like to admit. A day had passed, then a month, and it now has been over two months since your enchanting experience. You were in the middle of completing your education program to get your teacher credentials and had happily stumbled upon Joshua along the way. You both were planning on becoming kindergarten teachers and made an additional goal to even co-teach someday. You couldn’t deny the lingering feelings you harbored for him for years, but your mind always lingered back to the foreign boy at the end of the day. You shook your head to erase such thoughts so often to the point where Joshua thought you were feeling a little under the weather.  

Your friends from college were also slowly transitioning into their new careers,  a crucial stepping stone in their professional lives. If it weren’t for Joshua’s company, you wouldn’t be much social, if at all. You and Joshua had gotten significantly closer, and it seemed like every hangout was more than what the name let on.

You two were at your regular weekly cafe “hangout” to help destress in a change of pace from life. You visited the shop so often the staff knew you two by names (and indirectly as a couple). From the way your latte art was always some form of a heart or how you and Joshua coincidentally seemed to have similar fashion tastes, there was always something to tease the both of you about. You secretly just wanted to stop denying it, but the way Joshua coolly deflected the cooing and playful banter made you feel just a little hopeless. For now, you only settled on being coworkers.

“Mingyu was back at it again,” you shared, shaking your head as you blew on your drink. “For a giant, he’s so clumsy.” Joshua’s eyes crinkled as he laughed, making your heart skip a beat. “He’s got the biggest heart out of all of us, that’s for sure.” Conversations like this with Joshua were always a part of your coffee talks, ranging from what you saw Mingyu knocking something over to later weekend plans. It was a nice time to relax and take a breather, and Joshua was more than enough to provide that for you. After spending approximately an hour chatting your troubles away, you and Joshua got up and discarded your plastic cups.

“It’s getting a little late,” Joshua glanced at the setting sun. “I can walk you home.”  You furiously blushed, hoping you would play it off as just irritation from the wind. “I’m alright; I’m only a block away the opposite direction from you!”

“No no, it’s ok, I want to make sure you’re safe.”

“Joshua, it’s literally a five-minute walk.”

“Y/N, I insist.”

“Joshua, no.”

“Joshua, yes.”

“Joshua! I’ll be fine,” you shook your head and laughed, hitting his shoulder playfully. “Okay, okay!” He smiled, rubbing his arm. You exchanged a hug that you wished could last longer and turned to be on your way when he suddenly grabbed your arm. You looked back to see him hesitantly clearing his throat. “Do… do you wanna go for another hangout?”

You stared at him. “Well, we just did, didn’t we?” He shook his head. “No, I mean, not just for coffee. Do you,” he slowly chose his words, “want to make this into dates?”

You could only gape at him. Your crush for who knows how long had just asked you out. You expected to be overwhelmingly ecstatic, but all you felt was conflicted and confused. “Joshua, I–”

“Y/N!”

Both of your heads turned to the source of the familiar voice. You did a double take; were you seeing what you thought you were seeing?

Standing in a ten-feet radius from you was the same foreign boy you were so certain you had left along with your heart. A white tee peeked out from underneath his open blue and green plaid button up with interlaced specks of yellow. The rough light blue denim hugged his legs a little too well. Junhui was a walking image of a model constantly on the runway in contrast to Joshua’s more reserved lighter tones in exchange. Joshua’s baby pink sweater and white jeans reflected his calming demeanor. Perhaps the only thing they had in common were how they opted for sneakers to finish off their unique styles of casual, and well…

They were both vying for your attention at the same place and time.

“J-Junhui?” You stuttered as he advanced towards the two of you. He offered you a smile and curiously sized up the opposing male. “Who is this?”

Joshua looked baffled to say the least, but nonetheless he released your arm and politely introduced himself. “Well, I suppose I should be asking you that, but I’m Joshua. And you are?”

“Junhui.” They stiffly shook hands. Your eyes flickered between the two men, a strange heavy air replacing the once light atmosphere. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be–” Junhui cut you off, “I said I was going to catch you, didn’t I?” He flashed his signature smirk. Joshua, who was witnessing this strange ordeal unfold, awkwardly cleared his throat. “Sorry… Junhui, but I need to speak to her alone.”

Junhui’s eyes never left yours. “It took me some time to get settled down here, but well, here I am.” Your head started to throb, and to make matters worse (or better?), Joshua’s hand landed on your arm once more. “Y/N, you don’t look so good. Here, I’ll walk you home.” He started to guide you to your apartment, but Junhui grabbed a hold of your other elbow. “I just saw her for the first time after being away for two months. Can you give us some alone time?”

Joshua narrowed his eyes. “Can’t you see she’s not feeling well? She’s as pale as ice! She needs to rest right now.” He tugged on your arm. Junhui tugged back. “I don’t think you have the right to be saying what Y/N needs and doesn’t need.” He turned to you. “Y/N, who do you want to talk to?” “Yeah, who?”

You could only gape, dumbfounded at the strange outcome. “I… I just need to go home.” Joshua reached out a hand to you. “Alone.” Before they could  grab a hold of you and say “wait,” you were already briskly crossing the street.

“No. Way!”

“I can’t believe it either!” You groaned in your pillow. “How did this even happen? And in one day?”

“Honey, you’re a total babe magnet!” Your friend sat on the other side of the bed facing you. “The Joshua Hong and a cute foreign boy both want you! I thought this only happens in the movies.” You threw your pillow at her. “Now is not the time! I don’t want this to happen at all! I thought it was absolutely final once I returned here that I would cast away everything that happened in that country. I was finally able to progress further with my relationship with Joshua, and now…”

“You can’t get over someone who never left,” she pointed out. “I know you, Y/N. He’s been on your mind since day one.” You sighed, not wanting to admit she was right. “I don’t know what to do.”

She leaned back on the headboard. “Look, maybe you just need to take a break and think about it. Who really has been there for you? Who makes you feel more… you? Those are the real questions here. You obviously like both of them, so now take a step back and really reflect on who truly is the one.” You placed your head on her shoulder and heaved a sigh again. Comparing Joshua and Junhui was nothing different to comparing apples and oranges; they were just too different.

“I’ll just sleep on it. I’m turning off the lights,” you mumbled. Several minutes had passed after and you heard a soft whisper.

“Hey, Y/N?

“Yes?”

“You’re an amazing girl. And if they fail to see that, then neither of them are worth your time.”

You smiled. “Goodnight, Y/F/N.”

“Sweet dreams.”

A week had passed, and you managed to avoid both Junhui and Joshua, the latter being more difficult since you saw him practically every day. You knew you had to face the music someday, but you still had feelings to sort out. You always timed yourself to leave a lot earlier than Joshua who was miraculously held back to do other errands at times. It had worked fine — until today.

“Y/N, wait up!” You only quickened your pace but he was quick to catch up to you. “We need to talk.” “Joshua, what is there to even talk about?” You gazed intently at the concrete. “Things have been crazy, and I’m just not ready.” “Y/N, look at me.” Nothing. “Y/N.”

He gently but firmly held your chin and turned your head to face him. “I don’t know what happened with you and that guy, but I do know that I want to be with you. I always have ever since college. I was a fool to wait this long to ask you, but now that I have, I can’t just back down now.” You opened your mouth to say something, but you heard a voice that wasn’t your own.

“Y/N.”

Why do we keep meeting like this? You shook your head and heard footsteps nearing you from behind. “Joshua.” “Junhui.”

“Guys, I just need more time. You can’t expect me to give a straight response after dumping this on me.” You pulled yourself out of Joshua’s grasp and started backing away. “Y/N, I don’t mean to rush you, I really don’t, but I don’t have much time here left.” Junhui stepped closer to you. “What do you mean?” He sighed. “I’m returning to Thailand tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?!”

He held up his hands. “I know, I know! It’s sudden, but so was this visit,” he sheepishly admitted. “My boss let me go for this week, but no more than that. I’m leaving tomorrow night.” Joshua piped up, “Don’t just force her to be quick with this. These things take time!” Junhui coldly shot back, “Stay out of this, Jello Boy. You act so soft around her, but we all know your motives.” Joshua’s jaw hardened. “At least I don’t show up spontaneously and suddenly expect her to willingly follow me around!” “Listen, Pretty Boy, I actually knew her longer–”

“Stop! Both of you!” You raised your voice, ceasing their argument. “If you both truly liked me, you would respect my decision and just stop with this pettiness. I’m not your toy you can keep tugging on and not expecting it to fall apart.” Your vision started to blur. From what, you had no idea. Was it your tears? Were you about to faint?

You took too long.

“Y/N. Y/N!” Their voices became more distant. Your body felt heavy yet light. Was this how death was? You could only see darkness invading your vision and let it consume you as your eyelids drooped.

“Y/N. Y/N, can you hear me?”

You slowly started to regain your senses and felt immobile. Your chest felt as heavy as a weight, your throat was in desperate need of a drink, and your head was throbbing. Your eyes fluttered open to see your friend.

“Thank god you’re alright!” She buried your head in her chest. “I was so worried!” You lazily looked around the room, careful to not strain your neck. “What happened? Where is this?” She withdrew from the hug. “We’re in the local hospital. You fainted from fatigue and stress. The doctor told me to have you take it easy for the next several days in order for you to regain your strength. Don’t worry; it’s nothing major. A proper diet and rest should be just the trick.”

Your thoughts fumbled over. There was something you were forgetting, but you couldn’t recall. You could only shrug it off and felt your eyelids closing again.

You were finally discharged and plopped yourself on your welcoming sofa. “I’m never leaving here again.” Your friend giggled, “That may be a good idea. You need to take care of yourself better, Y/N. I know finals have been a little hectic lately, but–”

Finals. You saw flashbacks of a black dress and mask. Your friend stopped mid-sentence when she saw your alarmed expression. “What’s wrong?”

“I know this sounds a little weird, but do I happen to own a mask?” She stared at you. “Honey, I think you need to go back to that hospital.” “Y/F/N, I’m serious. Do I?” She tilted her head, chin in her hand. “You would think I would see you own one. Why?”

“Oh, nothing. I passed by a shop and thought it looked nice.” She got up and shook her head. “You probably need more rest. I’ll prepare some soup for you. Need me to get anything from the market?” You shook your head. “You have cash on you?” She jokingly stretched out her palm.

You got another flashback, but this time it was at a dark crowded area. Someone fed you, hugged you, and carried your bag. And they were all the same person.

She put down her hand. “I was just joking, dude. You really need to get more rest; you’re not looking too hot.” She was in the middle of putting on her shoes before you called out, “Wait! I’ll just go. I need some fresh air.” She gave you a look. “I’m not sure if I trust you being out in this state of mind. You seem to be pretty out of it.” “I’m fine! I need to clear up my mind. I might as well run some errands along the way.” She sighed before moving out of the way. “If you don’t come back in an hour and a half, I’m calling the cops.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you shouted over your shoulder as you shut the door.

You passed by the local cafe, but your feet naturally slowed down. What am I doing here? Hm, I suppose it looks nice. I’ll check it out another day. You were about to head further down the street when you abruptly collided into someone.

“Sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

You looked up to see familiar cat eyes. “Oh, it’s…. Fine. I wasn’t – I was just–” Why did he look so familiar?

He laughed at your words. “You weren’t either, I’m guessing?” You blushed. “Yes, that.” He briefly nodded, a grin ghosting his lips. “Well, sorry about that again. I’ll be on my way.” He resumed walking when you grabbed his arm on impulse. He glanced at your arm, bewildered, your action surprising the both of you. “Sorry, but… Have I seen you around before?”

He sweetly laughed before teasingly said, “Is that a pick-up line?” Your cheeks flamed, making him laugh even more. “I’m joking. I don’t think we’ve ever met. I would remember a face like yours. Let’s say your pick-up line worked though.” He mysteriously smiled and scribbled something on his napkin before handing it to you and stalking off.

You shook your head. You were clearly not in the right state of mind today. Everything seemed to be in a constant loop of major deja vu. You turned to resume your supermarket trip but you couldn’t help but to notice a figure leaning on the side of a building. The way his leg was casually rested on the wall as he sipped his coffee cup screamed “model.”

His eyes landed on yours and you felt a tug in your chest. Why am I acting like this? I don’t even know these people… He smirked, and with that came a stronger tug. “Babe, if you’re staring me down like that, you might as well ask me what you came here for,” he chuckled. You reeled back in confusion. Babe?

“Well, if you’re not gonna ask, then I probably should. Do you wanna hit the open market?” You hesitated. “I don’t even know your name.”

His smile softened. “Junhui. Wen Junhui.”

You held up a hand. “I have to let my friend know first.” You quickly sent her a message and tucked your phone back in.

“You still live with her?” You froze. How does he…

“I was in your Chemistry class. I always heard the two of you talking. I was also in the same high school as you, surprise surprise.” He peeked at your face to find any signs of you remembering.

You racked your brain, looking for a face like his in your memories. However, he cut your train of thought. “Are you in?” You took a hold of his hand. “Let’s go.”

He unlocked his phone to check the time. What you didn’t catch was the familiar scene of two people at a night market on his lockscreen.

All the doves and peacocks soon started to disappear. Before she knew it, only one dove and one peacock stood in front of her. She took in each bird carefully.

The dove. Elegant and calm, very predictable. She felt a sense of serenity wash over her. She felt safe and stable.

The peacock. The flashy colors drew her attention, as well as the puff in its chest. Wild, charismatic. She felt a rush of adrenaline, something to always keep on her on her toes. “They’re both lovely.”

Choose before it’s too late.

A looming clock started its countdown. 20… 19… 18…

With every predictable thing, there’s always a tiny possibility of the unexpected.

10… 9… 8…

With every wild and confident thing, there’s always a tiny possibility of tameness and insecurity.

Make your decision now.

She reached her hand out slowly, using up every bit of her last seconds. She was just about to touch the bird when the room flashed a brilliant white. Her time was up.

A single blue, green, and yellow feather floated down.

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