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dilfhos · 7 months

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sooo this is gonna be a messy rant on the observations ive made between different writer communities, blog interactions and overall “status”. just silly little things I’ve noticed in my 4+ years being on tumblr btwn 2 diff blogs. and this is about no one specific, a very generalized post so if you find urself offended i honestly dont know what to tell you?? :o do better ig. & if you relate, i feel for you. TLDR @/end.

i dont like interacting/ building connections with people but not for the reasons ppl think. im not stuck up or pretentious or weird or anything. just another anime-enjoyer who loves to write in her free time. nobody special by a longshot!! i enjoy writing, always have since before i was a teen. (wasn’t always ff tho!).

but over the years ive just noticed fandom writing has its gritty sides that no one talks about often and its no mystery why so many prolific/ popular writers deactivated, me included. i had some shitty experiences and have seen friends go bc of it.

firstly, I’ve noticed, once you start interacting and building friendships with people, it’s easier to see the bigger perspective of where ppl stand and the blatant hierarchy of friendships and groups. same applies to that outside. like its literally just me n’ my bsf then my acquaintances bc mfs be weirddd omg its like cults or something. like thats why initially I didn’t interact w/anyone starting on my new blog. that n’ fear of drama following from my last blog ugh. ‘Cept the few i’ve met on my old blog (like my wifey)

not to mention i have bad anxiety. and sometimes im cue-deaf. i dont always pick up what people put down and vice versa and it makes me conscious in a lot of my interactions. so a part of me doesn’t want to interact at all to avoid all awkwardness and possible miscommunications. that’s not to say i don’t notice subtle changes in interactions after one situation / conversation or so forth, that in myself or witnessed between other ppl. (im perceptive, just not that good conversationalist lol. like i really have to try.)

but then…if you don’t interact with people on here, your chances of building an audience or a reader base is slim to none. the likelihood of developing relationships is zip. because you’re already perceived and pegged as just another tumblr writer. pause. to clarify, a writer who doesn’t want any recognition or interactions from mutuals or new friends. or just a lonely writer? a introverted, lonely writer. which leads to little to none interactions (anons, reblogs, moots —exposure.)

so then its like you’re kinda placed btwn a rock n a hard place. and there’s absolutely no problem with that! in fact this is the best part—meeting friends and like-minded people! people that make being online all the more worth it right? thirsting over fictional characters and sharing in each other’s works!

but you have to be in specific circles it seems. but then you can’t imply that you want to be in those circles bc then you’re desperate.

but well, then you cant purposefully want to be independent or be on your own or else you’re a hater, hypocrite or stuck up. not to mention, no one will reblog your stuff lol. no one will interact fr, and you’re friendless essentially. and god forbid if you disagree on something as if opinions don’t exist btw! then you’re being ganged up on. (like omg grow up!)

but then if you reach out you’re seen as trying to wedge in or kiss ass? you interact and follow and you’re ignored or left hanging? (bc im gonna touch your hand when i say this—it never gave fan, your majesty of horny nerds) and this is about ALL the writing communities and fandoms—spicy content, black content and dark content. ALL.

yet no one wants to talk about the pregnant elephant in the room—bias. and favoritism. also people seem to have a hard time being direct with how they’re feeling toward/about someone ( in a good or bad way) which in turn leads to a lot of miscommunication and subliminal attacks. (not to mention hate anons? one of my moots just had her inbox flooded w/them recently, ew.)

you can lead a horse to water AND you can write a 500-word essay on the observations made on tumblr writers as a whole. (a long ass post on the truth on behalf of those feeling this too)

also, slapping a HEY LOOK AT ME! IM A WRITER WHO WANTS INTERACTION AND FRIENDS! on a blog is frankly embarrassing. it shouldn’t even take all that seeing how easy it is for others wanting the same thing.

or doing less to achieve the same result.

not to mention, yall shit on ppl who essentially feel this way altogether bc you peg them as sb who doesn’t “try” or just jealous when their own works are phenomenally written themselves. ive seen it. and ive lived it. never gave jealousy baby.

at the end of the day, we’re all writers— either longterm or hobbyists. (personally, im longterm) self-indulgent or not! and its absolutely amazing when people are being fair in how they spread love and feedback to their writers.

Secondly, its not news that people have to want to reblog your fics so that their followers can reblog, so they can reblog, and their followers can reblog and so forth. but ppl honestly dont care atp bc once they’ve already read it, they owe you nothing. and apparently asking for reblogs is crass and bold. (imma do it anyway) but putting your very all into a story just to turn and see a half-thought out hc soaring 3k in 2hrs and 5k in a day — you have to stfu, open your ass and take it. keep it cute!

you’re getting fucked after all!!

because if you complain—you’re just jealous and lazy and uncreative!! and i hate that to seem like a writer worth a damn, you have to change up your writing style every two weeks to fit in with trending waves.

“no more poetic long fics, nobody’s into that! short, snappy slutty shots are all the rage!” “ppl are only into these specific tropes but you can’t exceed 2k words!” “only add trending characters to these hcs! ppl love them only!” “don’t write too much about a specific character or else ill unfollow you!” its exhausting.

i am well within my right as a literary artist to desire more feedback and interaction on anything i put out. period. and you are too! 🫵

God, im tired of that stupid, ‘you have to enjoy your writing for yourself and not worry about notes’ line. i do love my writing! don’t get me wrong there’s nobody id rather write like if not myself fr. not to mention the inspiration i draw from famous literary authors. however, i would love feedback and the same energy that i see with others in my same caliber.

and when i see others that didn’t even try fr—its a slap in the face to put it bluntly.

i can want silly little comments and notes about something i cherish and put out for that reason and yall aren’t gonna make me feel bad about it. sorry! like yall really be making people feel shitty for wanting the same type of interactions you get! especially when its harmless, bye asf. nb want to recipe to ur peach cobbler b!

the only one giving push back are those appointed popular /top blogs n’ cliques tho. now personally, i honestly dgaf if you have 20 followers or 25k, writing is writing and if its good you should want to support it regardless of following count/interaction right?

unfortunately, and quite unsurprisingly its not the case for the rest of this hellhole lol. there’s always gonna be some “big blog” in any part of tumblr or any social media for that matter.

but when the sole purpose being on a site like tumblr to write is mainly exposure, then it just makes it ten times worse especially if it seems that these blogs are steady at the top of every. single. tag. and listen, i know how initially stupid that sounds but when you’ve picked up on patterns for as long as i have, well iykyk.

so imma be real bc no one else will, half of the posts that yall see with 25k notes have alr been done. just different characters, different words, different dialogue. And 8/10 its been done by sb who only received 100 notes. Thats the evil part. whats more is that it lacks the creativity the one post with 100-300 notes is filled with completely.

POP QUIZ! what post would readers be more inclined to read? — one that says 10k (ohhh that must be popular!) or the one with only 150 (oh i guess nb really liked that one) that no one is even willing to reblog for MORE. and BOOM. now yall wonder why so many great writers LEAVE, its a fucking joke.

so unfortunately its no longer only about or only on readers anymore. its about who you know and who you know is willing to support your fr. who is willing to REBLOG your fics for their friends and followers, so that their friends and followers can reblog. to fit in you actually have to get in these days and it makes it all less enjoyable. makes it a chore and if you aren’t ‘doing it right’ ultimately it makes you feel shitty about your writing. (Please don’t, you are doing amazing. its the platform.)

it makes people not want to jump into writing. it pushes away those who actually want to join writing communities and meet people without feeling like they have to jump thru hoops to thrive or worse—live in other ppls shadows. and then it deters those from speaking up in fear of being shut down by bigger groups. ive seen it happen time and time again.

lastly, and this is the juiciest part! you absolutely cannot say anything about any of this bc you’re complaining and a fisher just looking for attention and not someone who just want things to be fair all over. play the game, right? ( wrong. and if this is your logic, you suck! )

its no longer about making flashy banners and pretty themes. its no longer about how many clever directory links you add or how many games you initiate on your blog or whether or not you’ve reblogged your fic three times already. its about your “friends”, other mutuals, and blogs willing to support you too. not just the audience. audience gonna do what they want regardless. reblog, don’t reblog, whatever. “at least ive read it right?” but everyone knows this. duh! but it’s obvious who doesn’t care as long as they’re on top of that tag! its admirable in a way but it sucks for those wanting to break out and build some kind of readerbase and/or make friends.

TLDR; people need to stop being bias and be fair and open lol. stop picking favorites and share the love all around. you see another person writing your favorite character or trope, give them a fucking chance and reblog, regardless if they’re in your ‘circle’ / radar or not. regardless if you know them or not. hell, let them put you on to a new fandom. bc writing is writing and making new moots and finding new fics seem to be what everyone loves to showcase until its time to actually do it. no wonder people get discouraged to make friends and write, yall treat it like some kind of secret society when its supposed to be fun💀 not a competition. (yall need to dead this clique-y shit. )

#writers #writers of tumblr #WATCH EVERYONE SKIP OVER THIS DHDHDJDN #OH OH OH #and im black #LMAO THATS THE PUNCHLINE #so #all of this isnt only happening in a general writing fandom #but the little corner for my black people??#and in the corners of other minorities #IT HAPPENS HERE TOO DHGSGJG #nb is safe🙅🏾‍♀️#i thought we were escaping exclusivity?#and assumptions made about other people??#trust when i say this is NOT about anyone specific #just silly little observations #and pieces of my experiences #so any complaints #SHOVE IT SHOVE IT SHOVE IT!#will delete if this starts a revolt #or not bc i love chaos in the name of truth #i hope yall can feel the sarcasm this is kinda longer than i intended but i wanted to be as thorough as possible in my point #been working on this for a min #im not tagging as discourse bc this isn’t what this is #and if you treat is as such imma just assume you’re exactly who im talking about and keep it pushing🤷🏾‍♀️#just be better is all im saying #BYE I JUST CAUGHT SO MANY MISTAKES #the shame #i was caught up #but yall get it

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himabyul · 2 days

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Satan & Violins

I share a lot of similarities with Satan, even when before they canonized something about him; one of them being violinist!Satan😭 In spite of me having a mini identity crisis following the drop of his canon violinist card, i think it makes sense! heres why.

Disclaimer!

1. I have not picked up an instrument in years

2. This is purely bcuz my brain is so busy thinking abt Satan so its kinda rambly. . Pls bare w me T_T

3. THIS IS LONG IM SO SORRY

4. Not too used to tumblr writing just yet sorry if it's messy

(Uploaded on my twitter aswell :D)

The violin and its family, unlike other string instruments (ex. the guitar), doesnt have these little things (that i forgor the name of because im a bad musician) that separates every note. those little separating thingies are the reason why people who dont know shit about playing a key on guitar but memorize musical scales (me) is at least able to strum a simple one octave melody.

Obviously, the two come in with their one difficulty (i prefer the violin myself), but it's a little bit harder to pull that trick with the violin. As you can see, theres not exactly something to tell you where each note begins or where they end. Nothing to determine where is where. You simply have to memorize the placement and the distance between each note. You basically play the violin with Your Gut (1). We'll keep this in mind for now.

Moving on, let's talk about body posture.

Beginner violinist usually directlty face towards the strings when playing, as they aren't used to letting their 'gut' lead the show. However, more experienced players would find no need to do so. A quick glance at Satan's art could tell us he was at least above beginner level to be brave enough to face (us) instead.

When you're not facing your violin, you would usually lean your head towards it, resulting in your ear becoming the closest thing to it- here's a real life example:

Now, if there was anything my teacher warned me before starting violin, is that even without having your ear be the closest thing to it, the strings are already LOUD😭 so its even louder when you alr have ur ear on it. The violin is considered one of the most emotional instruments ever, their lower sound resemble what we use to express sadness in speech. Basically, what I'm trying to say is, you as a player are forced to feel what you're playing. Thus is also why you play the violin with Your Heart (2).

So, how does this tie into Satan? It's no secret that our handsome man is incredibly romantic, and to me if he ever wants to express something to us and making sure the message is clearly received, the equally emotional violin is his best bet! The violin allows Satan to play heartwrenching notes that would quickly be felt by the listener.

Lets get technical.

There's still another side of the violin, as there is another side to Satan. The way you stroke your bow matters, the way you angle it so you'll only hit the notes you want. (thankfully if you mess up, the violin is made to still sound graceful😂). Satan too, is quite the detail oriented person. He is tactical, analytical, observant, a man obsessed with striving to be the perfect one, etc etc. The need of preciseness of the violin is definitely right up his alley. The way you need everything to be correct to be rewarded for a beautiful sound. Idk exactly where I'm going with this but it's basically intelligence meets emotion kinda thing, do you see it too?!?!

In conclusion, the violin is a wonderful instrument that both requires great attention to detail yet is also incredibly emotional and heartfelt, an instrument that requires your gut and heart guide your play without abandoning technique. Satan, the incredibly smart yet fluffy softie, is quite literally made for this and I LOVE HIM for that RAAAAAAHHHH. im normal.

THATS IT RLLY im soooo sorry if it's incredibly messy please have a sugarry picture <3 ily

#obey me satan #satan obey me #yes i like omori how did you know #thinking abt me and satan covering duet mghhhnnnhhhh #STAN SATAN OUR MULTI TALENTED KING FOR CLEAR SKIN #rambling a bit #obey me #obey me nightbringer

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agirlwithglam · 2 months

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how to develop self love and confidence

— a step by step guide by yours truly ♥

disclaimer!! for some people it can take a lot longer to love themselves than others, so don't be discouraged if it takes a bit longer. just remember that no matter what you think, you ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.

step 1: identifying the root cause

first you need to find WHY you dont love yourself. it usually comes down to these main reasons:

society

your looks

comparison

your abilities

childhood trauma

your current situations

it can be just one or more than one, and sometimes it may not be as simple as "my looks", sometimes you may have to dig deeper.

for me, it was because i thought i was "ugly"

step 2: once you know the WHY, research about the topic and try and solve it.

here ive broken down the 6 reasons to help you a bit: (but remember that this is just a small break down, if you want you can research more about the topic & try to battle it)

society: society has tricked us into believing that loving yourself is considered 'vain' or 'narcissistic'. let me tell you right now that THAT IS NOT TRUE. loving yourself is a basic necessity that everyone should have!!

your looks: this is something i struggled with for a loong time. remember that beauty is subjective!! bob could think that travis looks 'average' but Leo could think that travis looks absolutely gorgeous!! ☆ so how did i overcome this? i actually 'glowed up'. bc the main thing i didnt like was face- my teeth to be specific. so once i got braces, my teeth aligned and i started looking so much better. ☆ other struggles: ↴ for you if it may be acne, then you could start trying to take care of your skin better. or if its body image then if you reeeeally dont like it then literally just start working out. if you have the option to yet you still dont then dont complain. but remember that ALL BODIES ARE PERFECT. ★ another thing that helped me a lot was affirmations! i listened to a bunch of affirmations -> i used this video by thewizardliz and it did wonders! (you can also search up on yt self-love/ beauty affirmations)

comparison: for most people comparison comes from social media right? the simple solution to this would be unfollow accounts that dont serve you, or delete/ set a time limit on the social media platform "but what if i compare myself to people i meet in real life?" well we can't exactly unfollow or delete these people but what we can do is turn that jealousy (yes, jealousy) into inspiration! be inspired by the people with greater lives and use that to pull yourself forward! ☆ a quote that i read once (that may or may not help you) : "do not compare your chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 50." you never know what the other person has gone through or is going through that got them to this point!

your abilities: okay theres not much i can say here except that you can learn almost everything online nowadays. stop complaining and get off your lazy butt to prove to yourself just how much potential you have! (but don't beat yourself up for being a lazy butt, im one as well) here is a link to a TON of stuff you can learn online!

childhood trauma: this is a bit of a more delicate subject which i do not know a lot on, my best suggestion would be to just go to therapy (or use an online therapy app- betterhelp). - watching thewizardliz may help as well as she might know more about the topic.

your current situation: whether its trouble with friends, at school, at work, or with family i promise you that these things do not last forever. humans were not put on earth to be unhappy and miserable! (whats the point in that?) my advice is to learn more about the topic (for ex i was struggling with being left out w friends for a while and it did hurt a bit) and see what you can do to fix it or at least make the best out of it. + another reminder that you can use the law of assumption- in basic words the law states that whatever you desire, you have. all you need to do is accept that. heres a quote i read: "if you dont like where you are,, then move. you aint a tree." this is literally YOUR life. RESPECT yourself and dont let people treat you bad because that is disrespecting yourself!

step 3: focus on yourself!!

my favourite step!!

this is your sign to stop focussing on others' lives and start focussing on your own.

when you start to focus on yourself, up level yourself and try to become your best version of yourself, you actually end up falling in love with that version of yourself, and your current version!

ask yourself: is there even something to love?

ask yourself: would you want to date or be friends with someone like you? think actually deep about this; if your answer is no, then that obviously means that there is some work to do.

if you're constantly negative and complaining and rude all the time, trust me, literally no ones gonna want to hang out with you. and then you'll adopt that 'victim mindset' of "nobody likes me and i suck". instead of doing that, why dont you try to just suck a bit less? there isn't any pressure on you to become amazing the next day, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

small things/habits to start:

gratitude

hydration

exercising

journalling

meditation

eating healthy

developing a skill

get enough sleep

take cold showers

taking care of your skin

invest in your appearance

focussing on school/ your grades

go outside! go for walks, be in nature!

changing what you consume (resources below)

some resources that helped me SO MUCH:

♡ thewizardliz

♡ tam kaur

♡ persephone's mind

and meditation! its so extremely underated but SO VALUABLE.

xoxo, vanilla

#agirlwithglam🎀✨#it girl tips💗💋#vanilla self improvement⭐️#self love #it girl #girlblog #confidence #self improvement #self validation #self worth #self love guide #that girl #girlblogging #that girl tips #it girl tips #it girl energy #confidence guide #confidence tips

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myluvrrhea · 2 months

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Moonlight on a river 2/2

Pairings - Damian priest x Fem!Reader

Word count - 0.7k

Warning - Hurt/Confort, Fluff/ Angst

NOT PROOFREAD. Part 1

Damians POV

I walked into The Judgment Day’s locker room, getting ready for my match. But I noticed the atmosphere felt different. Dom and Finn were mostly quiet. They were never this way before?

“Guys tell me whats up why are you two so quiet?” I asked.

Dominik scratched his head as Finn opened his mouth to answer me.

“Look man we’ll talk after the promo,” Finn and Dominik both walked past me as I stared at them in shock.

After the promo , me , Finn , and Dominik walked back stage. Back to our locker room. I tried not to let my confusion get into the way of the promo, but I ofter found myself zoning out whole thinking about it. They had never acted this way towards me , so what made their feelings change?

I sat down on the locker room bench as I waited for Finn and Dominik to talk.

“Look we know about the Y/N situation..,” Dominik spoke first.

“And we dont think what you did was valid man , I mean did you know what happened to her mom that day, and the fact you put the weight of a breakup on her is just cruel..” Finn chimed in.

I felt confused.

“What happened with her mom?” I asked.

Dominik sighed as he began to speak.

“She got into a car crash — A drunk driver is what she said.”

“Look the only reason we know this is because Rhea told us about. After she texted Rhea about the breakup, and she repeated what you said— she just broke down man,” Dominik had a sour look on his face , meanwhile Finn turned away from them both.

Then the realization hit me. Thats why her eyes were so red. She had been carrying a hard weight in her shoulder. And when I broke up with her , that was just the cherry in top. A heavy weight of guild filled my mind as Finn and Damian told me what had happened. By the end , I knew I had to talk to her. Make things right. That was the least I could do, I thought to myself.

Your POV

I layed in bed , curled up as a thick blanket covered my body, when I heard a key unlock the front door. My face morphed into confusion as I sat up from my curled up position in the bed. Soon enough I heard the door to now my own bedroom creak open. I felt my stomach drop as I saw a worried face. His face.

End of your Pov

He didn’t understand how you felt until he saw it. When Damian had walked into the bedroom , he first saw your worried and confused expression. Your eyes were bloodshot red and had darker spots under your eyes.

“W-why are you here?” You asked. Your voice was shakey. Fragile. Like you could break any minute.

As you looked down, Damian came closer to your sitting figure. His hands found its place on both sides of your head. Making you look up at him.

“I came to apologize. I didn’t know it was this bad — and I really messed up. I just want you to know it was a mistake. Ive been a mess these few days and I thought about coming back.. I did and when Dom and Finn told me what happened I knew I had to come back”.

“I know i messed up, just please ill do better this time. Im so sorry.” He finally completed his rambling as a tear rolled down onto your cheek.

“I don’t know if I could trust you so easily, b-but ill try. I just need you to regain my trust. Day by day.” You replied as Damian blinked away the tears that threatened to drop from his eyes.

“I wanna make it up to you even if its little.” He said.

He opened his mouth to speak again. “Cmon let’s go eat dinner , and we could take a bth if you would like to?”

I nodded as a sign of okay , and he went downstairs to get the food for us ready. A small smile found its way to my face as I finally felt joy enter my body. I was happy to finally have Damian back. You felt better already.

A/N 💬 - Im sorry this is kinda short!! But im trying to get requests done im sorry for how late its going just know im trying 💕

#damian priest x reader #damian priest imagine #damian priest #damian priest x y/n

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evelili · 9 months

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okay I’ve been reading your magnum opus fic and I’m at the chapter with fluttershy and the manticore and GOOD GOD this fic is amazing. Your writing of twilight is stunning. Her steadfast belief in science at the start seemed odd but now that her past bullying has been revealed it feels like she was just clutching to the one thing that couldn’t hurt her. God sunset getting possessed is so cool and I am TERRIFIED of when twilights going to be forced to see her like that. Your characterization of Celestia blows me away, she’s this perfect mix of a loving mentor and a woman who would do ANYTHING to keep her demons locked away. I really like how you write that there’s this shift between her when she is talking to twilight normally vs when she’s talking about magic. She goes from loving to almost cold, it’s brilliant! I’m halfway through fluttershy’s chapter and good god. Applejack’s speech about it not being Twilights fault she got bullied and having to trust her in spite of all that has happened nearly brought me to tears but GOD. Twilight being a bit possessed by the manticore is such a cool shift from the original episode it makes it all so much more intense. Fluttershy and twilight talking about how twilight didn’t deserve to be bullied and it’s alright that she didn’t get over it!!

“Something’s wrong with me,” she whispered back, her mouth dry with guilt. Fluttershy nodded carefully, the stinger still inches away from her throat. Twilight didn’t trust herself to move, and instead added, “I don’t mean just right now. There’s still—” She choked on her words. “I didn’t get over it,” she said instead. “I couldn’t. Not like you.”

Like!!! This bit right here fucked me UP. Your descriptions of the emotions she’s feeling and how she’s expressing it physically between her mouth and her voice and how the wings and scorpion tail are reacting are BRILLIANT!!

Twilight didn’t try to move away. “But I’m not better,” she admitted. Fluttershy’s hand brushed against her cheek, gently tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. “And I don’t know why.”

This line is the one that broke me and made me write this. GOD. I don’t have words besides just. oh my god. Fluttershys gentleness is so good and so heartbreaking and I love it

I’ll be honest I’m not yet sure how to write long comments on fimfiction, but when I finish this fic you’re eithering getting a long ass ask in your inbox or a comment on there if I figure it out. Love this fic so far!!! Ah!!!!

AHHHHHH tysm for taking the time to write such a lovely comment!!! like holy shit you have just given me enough serotonin for WEEKS omg, it makes me so happy to know that you're enjoying the story!!

celestia is a rlly interesting chara to me, and im super happy w how the version of her in the fic turned out! actually, most of the reason for the 30k epilogue jumpscare is that i really needed to properly resolve her "arc" with twilight, so if you are a fan of this version of her please look forward to that! and, sunset as a "villain" was something we only saw briefly in eqg1 (and for my tastes, i wasnt a huge fan of how it was done) but there's so much POTENTIAL there i couldnt help myself in exploring it :)

chapter 5->act 2 is the real "turning point" i guess of the fic in terms of tone, and even tho it was a struggle to write shy's chapter i think over time i've rlly come around to liking how it turned out :D in the fic i ended up writing fluttershy as more of a later season version of herself (less cowardly maybe?), but the essence of her chara to me is someone who can be kind even in situations when she is receiving unkindness in return. and sometimes, this "fighting fire with kindness" is actually the only solution, and one that only shy can find.

wahhh i never know how to properly express how much i love and appreciate these sort of detailed responses, so please also accept a little doodle of the scene you mentioned liking as part of my thanks!

#FOLDING THIS ASK UP PUTTING IN MY POCKET KEEPING IT FOREVER #tysm again i appreciate u so much!!!!#lili talking #tte #mlp fanfic #my art #twilight sparkle #scitwi #fluttershy

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celestie0 · 11 days

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Would you write more sports romance? In the future. What’s your favorite trope to write?

hiii my love <33 yea i can see myself writing sports romance again in the future! i think it’s challenging sometimes cuz there’s a lot to keep track of n also idk much about a lot of sports in general lol, at times i feel bad there’s not…that many game scenes in kickoff. tbh i just cant be bothered sometimes LOL but there’s a charm to it too ofc for a lot of reasons

idk if i’d write another one right away after kickoff tho, probably take a break from it n switch gears to try something new

as for favorite tropes to write hmm 🤔 lol i saw a tiktok filter that ranked book tropes, imma look at it for inspo then rank them:

1. she falls first he falls harder (ALL TIME FAVE)

2. enemies to lovers (they gotta wanna kill eachother)

3. fake dating (OOF controversial but i loveee these sm)

4. anything slow burn (especially in terms of sex lol)

5. workplace romance (these tend to be so hot tbh)

6. forbidden love (i like in historic/medieval stories)

7. one bed trope (esp if its enemies to lovers)

8. rich vs poor (kdrama conditioned me to enjoy this)

9. small town (christmas movies cond. me to enjoy this)

10. grumpy x sunshine (but guy can’t be a total ahole)

11. friends to lovers (always feel happy w these)

12. second chance love (breaks my 💔 but worth it)

13. age gap (depends a LOT on the execution)

14. love triangle (sux if i have 2nd M lead syndrome)

OKKK i got way too into this lol but here’s a list haha im curious what your faves are if you wanna rank them too 👁️ this was fun, thank u for the ask bb <33

#asks #anon

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amysubmits · 3 months

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Hi Amy! I just found your blog and really wanted to talk to you if you've got time but I got nervous so here's an anon. So I'm in my very early twenties and in the last few years have been really interested and taken by the idea of d/s dynamics. I don't have a boyfriend and am not really comfortable signing up to any sites so that's not really the issue. But as I'm going on dates and stuff I do find myself looking for that character that would resemble a dominant guy. I didn't realize it but I am attracted to that energy. What I'm concerned about though is the reason...for that attraction. So I'm in drama school but we can't really afford it so I have 2 part time jobs rn. One is this modeling agency that sometimes gets me by. It doest do much in my country but once a month a few hundred if im lucky, do come in handy. The issue is that the people I'm around and the environment is very toxic. Not just in a photoshoot but mainly. I've had to shut my mouth and smile and "submit" to guys just to remain part of the project. I don't feel comfortable doing more provocative stuff so that's been an issue and my manager keeps pressuring me about it at every opportunity. The relationship w him is weird he's a nice guy in general but sometimes he's too pushy. I also had a bf in the past (the only one) we were together briefly but he ordered me around a lot, and we never talked ab any of this but he was very strict with what I wore ect. What I'm trying to say is, I've had very traumatic experiences w all these people and am really worried whether the dynamic between us pushed me to want it? Like if my desires are somehow influenced by my trauma? Have you had similar concerns? How did you realize this is what you wanted and that it is not a response to something? I hope you're comfortable answering, but if not thank you for what you're doing your page has been really informative and I've learnt a lot xxxxx

Hi there!

I would be happy for you to message me if you decide you feel comfortable at any point, but anons are okay too! It's a big part of why I leave them on, for people who feel comfortable sending asks but not asking questions or whatever on DM. :)

This worry you're sharing about wondering if your desire to be a sub or be submissive comes from your trauma is something that I think a ton of subs have considered or worried about at some point. You'll definitely get a different answer to these questions if you ask other people. In my view, this is one of those areas where the 'right' answer can vary from person to person. So, this is just my take of course.

I am trying to avoid writing an extremely long post, so if you want or need me to elaborate feel free to follow up. But in a nutshell...I think most people have "little t trauma" from childhood that caused them to adapt to try to find connection and feel safe (physically or emotionally) and loved from a SUPER young age, to the point where it's challenging to know what it even would mean for a lot of us to say X is me, but Y is my trauma. Like 50% of the population has an insecure attachment style, and that primarily develops in the first year of our lives. So then we're still babies but we're already trying to change our own behavior to feel connected to our mother or our primary care giver. When that's the case...I think it's really, really tough to know who or what you would have been without the trauma as it's baked into your personality and coping methods SO early that we can't remember anything else. And so...I guess my goal has been to try to do a combination of accepting myself while also looking as honestly as I can at who/how I am now and look to change anything that I want to change or think needs improved. And with that in mind...I couldn't begin to tell you if I'd be a sub sexually or personality wise if I didn't have trauma. I just think that's an impossible question to try to figure out. Instead, I try to look at whether what I crave is healthy. If what I want to do is healthy for me, then it's okay if it IS based in trauma. I mean, plenty of things can be caused by trauma but still be really good things. For example, I feel pretty confident that the reason I seek healthy, safe feeling communication with my partner is because I grew up with lots of yelling and conflict and meanness. But I think that desire to have healthy, loving, safe communication is a good thing so I don't feel the need to reject that desire I have, as it's good, regardless of the cause being 'negative' or sad. I've come to the conclusion that D/s and BDSM can be healthy things for me. That isn't to say that I think I could do anything I wanted and call it D/s or BDSM and have it be healthy. But I think that a lot of what I desire sexually and within my relationship is healthy, and I embrace those things. And when I find myself craving something that is less healthy, I try to avoid embracing those ideas, or avoid acting out those fantasies, or resist those behaviors. For me, one thing I have to fight against is the instinct to be extremely passive. Passive feels safe to me because of my trauma, and I can sometimes incorrectly convince myself that I am being a good sub by being passive. That isn't always true, so I have to really keep an eye on any passivity and make sure that I am truly submitting from a place of desire and choice, and not from a place of it 'feeling good' because my brain is telling me that inactivity to appease others is safe and familiar. We try to regularly re-look at the things we do and ask ourselves again if all the details of how we're managing our D/s and BDSM are healthy for both of us. We try to ask if we're reinforcing healthy ideas or unhealthy ideas. Sometimes it changes over time and we have to adjust.

With you being new and young, I'd also suggest that you try to be extremely careful with what you learn about D/s and BDSM, and triple check that it's healthy. Some people will claim that literally anything done in the name of kink is healthy as long as it's consensual. I think that is a really wild viewpoint, personally. I think consent is really the absolute bare minimum, but a lot of people will consent to things that are harmful to them emotionally, and I think that is unhealthy. Of course, what is unhealthy is extremely opinion based, and I think it also can vary a lot from person to person...something could be unhealthy for me to consent to but perfectly healthy for you to consent to if we have different life experiences, different traumas, etc. At a really basic level I'd suggest looking really closely at whether D/s and BDSM make you feel good in terms of things like...confident, loved, empowered, authentic, loved, safe, secure, etc - or if it feels outright bad, or 'good' but only in the sense that feeling bad feels somewhat good to you (this is true for some with trauma), or if it makes you feel small, inferior, used, scared, insecure, etc. And then also if/when you get into a D/s relationship look at whether the things you try seem to be inspiring positive changes and growth, or negative patterns. Maybe at first you happily agree to let your dom decide whether or when to cut your hair, but over time you realize that you feel less 'yourself' when you can't control your own hairstyle fully. If that becomes the case, then in my opinion, it would be healthier to go back to deciding your own hair.

Sorry this is so long. I hope it's helpful in some way. Good luck to you, please continue to look out for yourself! It can be a scary world out there for young subs. It sounds like you're doing a good job of trying to look out for yourself though...even in wanting to figure out what your answer to the questions you sent in this ask are. So, good work. :)

#asks #d/s

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m4nd0l0r · 2 years

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More Five Hargreeves Headcanons (That are very much Canon to me)

Description: This are all definitely real! PROOF: I am Five Hargreeves’ Emergency Axe that he talks to rather than Delores (100% REAL!!!)

Author’s note: ah yes.. five x reader headcanons along with my most fav headcanon of all time: transmasc five 💪💪 im battling writer’s block again this is so slay of me (no it��s not) (this month was so trash and this is my compensation for me being M.I.A. SKKSKS) (anyway if you don’t like the idea of five being transmasc… respectfully scroll and don’t say anything pls!! no negativity here!!) (and we know the drill- five is aged up to whatever any of you are comfy w!!) (also tysm for 175 followers??? holy shit??? i appreciate it sm wtf 😭😭🫶)

Five Taglist: @ells-graveyard @noahspector @aelinismyqueen @fivelegance @ne0boss @twauna00 @placidpluto @eichenhouseproperty @heartsforsuyin @ghostlywavelengths @ghostlycherryblossomwonderland @seconds-not-decades @coolcatlover4 @emotionally-unstabel @peachy-wolfhard @its-lokilocked @raven-fandomtrash @theilliterateskankula @magicstrange @venusrambles @whereintheworldisspencerreid @honeycombdumbass @kazuive @oscarisaacsleftballsack @zenithinthebin @peachteeaaa @rchaoz @wickedmystery @wordsandnerds @umbrellatte @666abby6666 @iameddiemunsonshair @starlightinhumanform @vennythearsonist @trashmouthsahra @crinklypink @halfumbrella @wifeofcamillamacaulay (if you want to be removed/added, pls tell me via pm!!)

Disclaimer: I am not transmasc myself, I’m girlflux so I merely took my own experience trying to identify myself for the last 2-3 years, if I did something wrong with my headcanons, pls message me privately and I will be sure to add/change/remove anything that can considered to be harmful for actual trans men, this is all just for fun and I hope to not offend anyone— I merely want to share headcanons of Five that I love!!

he hates those matted fluffy socks (he’s so me fr), the texture grosses him to the point he would try to trash it (ps. klaus took it from him)

five LOVES comforters, he just tucks himself in and just. sleeps so quietly you’d think he’s dead but he just. does not snore. (you’ve tried to worriedly wake him up once… all you got was an annoyed groan and a painful smack to the lips—)

he hugs himself in his sleep if he doesn’t have blankets (unless you’re in the picture, he’ll definitely just CLING on you) it started when he was in the apocalypse, sleeping by a wrecked mattress store with no blankets, he dusts off the dirty mattress, not bothered to find any pillows or etc, so he just tries to sleep through the cold night with his own warmth, too tired from the chaos… not ready for the days laid out for him

he seems like a cat person, but he actually not so secretly wants a dog (specifically a herder dog for a farm), its in his bucket list for retirement, he wants to play with the pup and have someone by his side after his family fell further apart (s3 ending), then he can go on peacefully knowing he wasn’t rlly that alone, at least fulfilling one want of his

^ however if he could get a cat, he would get a sphynx cat… reason? he wants to match suits and sweaters with the cat (his excuse to you is that he doesn’t want the cat to get lonely being the only one wearing the ugly sweater.. and the sweater is just a plain blue turtleneck.. not even your typical xmas atrocity….)

as a kid, he had a teddy bear named mr pennycrumb, which prompted him to decide to name his soon-to-be pet mr pennycrumb in the future

my boy kins “a lots gonna change” by weyes blood, especially the first stanza, give it a listen and you’ll see.. y o u ‘ l l s e e (though disclaimer, the singer sings the song in 1st pov and uses feminine descriptors… but for the sake of five, just switch it out in your head w masculine coded words)

now- with his identity, as a kid, what awakened him to discover that he truly feels more like a guy is when he saw addam’s family— let me explain myself: he resonated with gomez- as even though gomez is considered “weird” he’s still a perfect husband/gentlemen, his charisma and charm could leave some in pure awe- and all five could think the first time he watched the movie was “i want to be this guy” rather than “i’d want to marry this guy”

with gomez and morticia’s dynamic from the movie, he will definitely incorporate their relationship on how he wants to treat his own s/o, like how he acted with delores, he was all in love and sappy, speaking italian just for her, he definitely took inspo from gomez with all of that, i just know it!!!

in a relationship with you, he would also try to know everything you like, your fixations, hobbies- he appreciates your intellect with your interests, always making sure to listen as you ramble on as your own eyes twinkling with pure interest and he only smiles softly, smitten by the sight of your love for this, how knowledgeable you are, even if its a ‘stupid’ interest or just something so niche others wouldn’t understand, he would try to fully comprehend it- as if it were one of his equations, he would study it just so he can talk to you about it, and see the excitement that radiates out of you when you realize he’s actually interested in knowing, that it wasn’t just a lie to keep you talking as they did something else- no, you notice it- his genuine interest that you see when he talks about his own theories peeks out so clearly, even if he tries to not let it out

if you speak other languages, he will try so hard in learning them just so he can somewhat impress you (for fellow filipinos however…. he cannot pronounce manananggal for the life of me…. you once had him try to say it but it ended up taking half an hour full of his tongue twisting from both his accent and the amount of “n” sounds w the word.. so basically he almost chucked a translator book to the wall— so uh… take that headcanon and r u n)

with his type (romantically), i think he doesn’t have one honestly— its more on the idea that he cherishes anyone who would care for him and vice versa, for example, he finds his siblings ‘annoying’ from their actions, personalities, likes, goals, ideologies and etc, but he still cares for them becos they’re important to him, with you, he could care less if you were rough, brash, shy, not so outgoing as others or something ‘normal’ society wouldn’t appreciate, he isn’t normal either— he’s a guy with a bloody background and superhuman powers, why would he care that much? if anything he would only appreciate you, even if you’re the polar opposite or almost carbon copy of him, if he truly cares about you, he accepts everything about you, just like how he accepts how his family is just dysfunctional as he is

in the topic of relationships and sexuality— i also think that he’s in the aroace spectrum- specifically demiromantic and aceflux (for those who don’t know- demiromantic means that he feels romantic attraction once he develops a strong emotion connection) (as for aceflux, its when someone sometimes feel sexual attraction, but in other times they don’t feel attracted that way, its fluid; changes even)

^ with that said- though its a well-known headcanon, i think he discovered it when he feels uncomfortable with the handler’s flirtatiousness, knowing it was fake— he likes sincerity that are peeking through the mask— not just soft smooth words that sway everyone else, he wants to feel truly loved, especially with everything he’s experienced atp

and now for cough cough scenario headcanons… drum roll please……

five successfully going back to 2019 with ONE (giant) mishap: he’s back in his 13 yr old bod, pre-transitioned AND… he was technically closeted too so.. oh brother….. at least…… he was a late bloomer as a kid so he’s pretty okay that he doesn’t need a binder again.. yet.

HOWEVER, he definitely stole school boy shorts from the other boys’ childhood closets cos his old closet only has uniform w the skirts

he also mentioned that he refers himself as a boy to the rest of the umbrellas so bluntly his family just goes with the flow (they’ve witnessed far more bizarre things atp, they don’t dare try to question this cranky little shit)

five being so ANNOYED with his higher pitched voice again cos he hasn’t took testosterone yet at 13 (he took it once he was in the commission as part of ‘extra’ stuff in his insurance (cough the privilege of being the handler’s favorite cough))

he always— painfully itches himself every time, his fingers scratching his own skin as if he’s trying to get out of his own body, because he doesn’t feel right— he feels like he’s found himself in the different room; it felt wrong to him

with the body change in s1, when handler said he’d give him a better body, she definitely tries to poke him the fact that its a cis male body as a manipulation tactic cos she she knows about his gender dysphoria :”(

speaking of gender dysphoria, it makes his annoyance for being back at his 13 yr old even more prominent cos frankly, he feels like he’s not himself again, especially after finally being so euphoric fully transitioning and all- he has do it all over again, including the insecurities

cough scenario time 🕺(im very lazy to write pls bear w me SKSK)

: younger you (either stealing from your parent who’s a doctor specializing w gender reassignment or from a literal clinic).. just stealing testosterone pills from the cupboard trying to give it to pre-transitioned five— and five is just touched- almost tempted to actually take it, but he doesn’t take it- instead he blips, then puts it back but he still appreciates the thought :((

the euphoria of him wearing his first binder, his first suit, being finally referred as sir and he/him for the first time— right after- when he gets to look at the mirror, he feels so manly, and for once- he felt right in place, not as if he were a missing piece in the wrong puzzle

you referring him as your boyfriend, or husband even, he won’t admit it, but it puts the most giant smile in his face, and his ears go red just from it, not just he feels so honored, but its also cos he feels so validated by you, someone he cares about so much that he swears he could kiss you right then and there <33 (he doesn’t, but in closed doors, he slipped a little peck or two) (i just love this man sm i cant)

#tua five #five hargreeves x reader #number five x you #five x reader #five hargreeves x you #number five x reader #five x you #five hargreeves headcanons #five hargreeves #five headcanons #number five #tua x reader #tua x you #thank you for reading my madness #tua s1 #tua 2 #tua 3 #the umbrella academy

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sansloii · 5 months

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Name: Hollis! ( though, i go by Marshy as well and have for about 6 years )

Pronouns: she/they

Preferred comms: discord because tumblr ims are questionable at best. i also uninstalled the app because of how often it would just randomly crash for little to no reason so.... if you want to reach me, disco is the safest bet

Name of muse(s): I have eight wonderful creatures of varying temperament. Batch 1 was Mikah. Batch 2 was Penelope, Wynn, Evan, Dakota, and Joseph. Batch 3 was Roderick and Andris. I also am working on fleshing out Vega properly but he's not quite done yet.

Experience in RP: in about 2012-ish, i was into f.andomstuck and i had an oc for that until like.... 2014-ish? it was baby's first blog and i didn't really know what I was doing. I had fun, while it lasted, but i also knew some of the people in this community ( like they went to the same high school as me ) so any issue we had on tumblr would translate into lunchroom confrontations. I didn't enjoy that part so much and my interest for it fizzled out by the time i graduated. then, i jumped over to the fire emblem fandom and made an oc for fire emblem awakening! i think i stayed in that rpc until 2016/2017 and i had two ocs, a mother and her son from the future, that i still very much adore. there were ups and downs and i feel like i was taught.... multiple frustrating lessons during my tenure there. it did help me develop my writing a lot and i have to say that i'm honestly better off having taken the chance to do it.

lastly, i ended up here in 2017 and i'm not leaving. i also have another massive oc blog i'm slowly reworking but i'm trying not to stress myself out lol.

Best experiences: it's very difficult to put specific experiences into words because most of it, for me, is vibes. my best experiences have been interactions and plots with people that I not only get along with but like... you know--we understand each other. like if i decide that i'm not going to rp on tumbles for a month and maybe just stick to headcanons, i can do so without fear that you think i'm wasting your time. or that we can pick up where we left off and it's okay if you respond to the months old thread you had with me. or! we can just stay up until the wee hours of the morning talking about ideas or blorbos or getting really into a discord rps. like it's the vibes that i can come to you like a fart in the night with a gifset or image like "hey this is our muses" and, likewise, you can do the same with me.

to those of you who i vibrate at the speed of light towards at any given moment, you know who you are. thank you for being patient with me and giving me the space to vibe with you :)

Pet peeves / dealbreakers: i feel like every time i open my mouth about pet peeves i have, i sound like a crotchety old person that always has something negative to say deep down ... but w/e. it's my soap box.

i've noticed that since i've come back, it feels like i have to be the one that's chasing some people for interactions or plots more often. or like. right out the gate, they wanna jump from A to Z and be best buds and whatever so we can speedrun everything. or... i'm expected to or have to do most of the work because they're quite literally doing none of it after expressing interest. and like some of that isn't inherently bad! i'll be the first to admit that if we're friendly enough and progress something enough to where it's like... an established thing? we can have something going faster than the speed of sound after that. we can have multiple ships, a dedicated au, a whole slew of worldbuilding shit together and i won't care because i know said person on some level. and that took time + a whole slew of back and forths.

however, it doesn't feel great to express that "hey i want to plot something but it'll take time and like... if we're shipping on top of that, it'll take double that amount" and watch, in real time, as that person just... eventually leaves you on read. and/or just doesn't interact with your content anymore. and i can tell the difference between being preoccupied/ having not great week/taking a break from tumblr entirely/being slow and being put on a shelf/ barely acknowledged very clearly. i shouldn't have to feel like i'm competing for a slot or something, which is the vibes i got sometimes and ( as you would expect ) didn't like.

this isn't directed at anyone i'm currently following, ofc. i know i am not perfect but i also know that i am an extremely patient person, which is how I want to be treated. It's very frustrating to try and try and try again only to get the bare minimum from people i genuinely wanted to interact with. but c'est la vie--such is life--and i move on. i, like many others, have limited time to be on here and if something doesn't bring me joy after a month, two months, three months, I'm more than willing to part with it. there has to be effort on both ends in some way and if you want me to pat your ass, pat my ass too.

Muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ): you cannot make me choose. now, does that mean that I write them all in equal amounts? certainly not. but it really depends on my mood. sometimes, all i wanna do is talk about soft moments. other times, i want to put my muses in a blender and watch them process what's happening to them. occasionally, i'll let them roam free and be as horny as they like. the key is to always cycle through the three so you don't get burnt out on any one of them.

Plot or memes: uuuuuhhhh it depends? plots are my fucking jam and i like having a general storyline to follow when writing and then figuring out the little details when we get to them. it's a long process but i enjoy the wait and the buildup more than i enjoy air so djsfdvdfvd--

buuuuuut i also think memes are a valueable, valueable springboard into interactions. and plotting straight outta the gate can be intimidating for some. plus, if you want to plot but your head is empty atm, finding and sending memes with the same vibe as the plot point you wanted to discuss is helpful! i'll admit that i'm not great at sending in memes but it's not for lack of wanting to. it's more not knowing what to send and picking a muse to send along with it that trips me up. Plus, not being here most of the day tends to mean i miss a lot of meme reblogs orz

Long or short replies: long replies but i do trim them shorter or rewrite portions of them. sometimes, i will write what i deem to be "too much" for a reply ( e.g: my partner has like 350 words and i'm sitting at like 625 words ) and i'll go back and edit it down to 450-500 if i find stuff that doesn't really move anything along or is just needless padding.

Best time to write: it used to be late night but i pass out too often for that to be effective anymore ( because of my sleep schedule for work ), so i tend to favor late mornings and early afternoon. if i'm writing late at night, it's because i didn't have time during the day to do so.

Are you like your muse(s): n...not really in most cases. like we share some traits here and there but for the most part, my personality, sense of style, and morality deviates from most of them.

tagged by: @rexpyre tagging: @arcxnumvitae @gunrising @royaletiquette @nezumivc103221 @bonesofchaos and anyone else that wants to.

#ツ ┊ ⧼ catwalk talk ⧽ ⇹ ( ooc. )#.does a little dance :)#.thank you for the tag!

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slashers-gf · 1 year

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Surprise visit 18+ Part 2

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x fem!reader

Warning: smut, name calling, making out, biting, fingering

Summery: After that night billy had not made fun of you or even look at you, and you wanted that attention back

When you woke up that morning you were alone. Billy was nowhere to be found. He took everything with him. It seemed like billy was never there, that it was a dream.

~Weeks later~

Y/n pov

I was hoping to see and feel his warmth next to me when I woke up, but all I felt was emptiness and cold that day . I tried not to thing about it. I got ready to go hang out with my friends. They wanted to go to the pool since it was summer and hot outside.

After getting ready I went down stairs to see my parents making breakfast. "Morning y/n, you gonna stay and eat your breakfast?" Mom asked while she was putting some toast on a plate. "Sorry mom cant they are already here for me" I say heading towards the door. "Ok be safe" she yelled as I walked out.

I see my friends car, I run up to it and hot inside. "I cant believe you guys want to go to the pool" I say to my friends while rolling my eyes. "Come on its summer and I heard that there is a really hot new life gaurd." She said smirking. "Is that the reasons you wanna go to the pool?" I say looking that them annoyed. "Yes but also because it's summer and you never want to go out, you just stay home locked up in your room" my other friend said. "Well yeah thats because its-" I was interrupted. "To late, no going back we are already here" she said getting out of the car.

I sigh knowing I can't leave. I get out to see there are lost of older ladies there's with there kids. "So where is the hot life guard you guys came here for" I say dramatically. "Its not his time yet don't worry he'll be here." They say while getting a spot to put all the stuff down.

I rolled my eyes as I sit on a chair. I was in shorts and a regular shirt, I had my swimming suit under. I see my friend starting to show off the suits and lay down on the chairs. "Its about time" they smirk. I look to see who they were talking about. Once I look in the direction I see billy. I'm not surprising to see billy working here, there are always girls around here.

Not gonna lie he looked so hot in those red shorts. I see him flirting with the mothers, I roll my eyes. "God he's so hot" when she said that I felt a little jealous. I sigh and try not to pay attention to him flirting with every girl he walks past by. "Y/n aren't you gonna take off your clothes" she said. "W-wait oh no im good like this" I say flustered. "If you say so" I glance at billy to be him flitting with Mrs wheeler.

At that moment I lost it. I wanted to make billy jealous. I start to take off my clothes to reveal my two piece suit. "I thought you said you didn't want to" my friend said. "I change my mind" I say. "Wow you look hot in that, whos attention you want hmm" my other friend asked while smirking. "Who said I want someons attention, i just wanted to wear it " I smirked. I can feel Billy's eyes on me, watching my every movement. Not only do I feel his eyes but others too.

I look at billy and gave a inner smile knowing that passes him off because other guys were looking at my whole body. "Im gonna go for a swim" I walk towards the pool. Once I got to the pool I got in the water. A boy came up to me and stated flirting. I didn't want to talk to him but when I saw billy's face filled with jealousy I stared flirting back to the boy.

I stared to touch him on his arms and chest. I could see billy death glaring at me but I ignored it and still flirted with the guy. "You so strong" I say while touching him even more. "Thanks, you look so hot in that". I fake laughed 'your so fucking annoying' I thought to myself. "Maybe later you could without it" I try to say in my sexiest voice. He grabbed my waits a pulled me close to him. When he did that I felt something poking my stomach. "Im gonma go to the restroom" I say trying to get out of his grip. "Come back when your done" he had a smirk. "Sure" I say start to get away. 'As if i would come back to that creep'. I made it to the woman locker room. Then I hear the door open and close. I didn't pay attention until I felt someone was behind me.

I turn around to see billy there looking down at me, he did not look happy. "What the fuck was that" he said starting to walk closer to me. "Its none of your business billy" I try to walk pass him and leave but the I felt him grab my arm and push me against the lockers.

"What the fuck-" I was cut off my billys kissing me. I tried to push him off but he was not even moving and he did was get more aggressive. He grabbed my hand and pinned the by my head. He started to kiss my neck. I moaned when he found a sensitive spot on my neck. "Your such a slut" he said. "What no I-" I moaned when he bit me. "You were out there with some other fucking guy" he said looking at me. "Your mine" he sounded serious. "No Im not " he did not like that. He started to kiss me again with more force the the first.

I started to kiss back. He let go of my hand, when he did I wrapped my arms around his neck. He moved his hand to my ass. "Fuck billy" I pulled his hair. He growled and picked me up. He started to kiss me again but it was different. He looked at me "do you want this".

"Yes billy I do" he smiled and kissed me. I felt his hand go to my back and he pulled on the string. I took off my top. He started kissing my boobs while massage my other. I moaned his name. After a while he did the same to the other one.

He started to nibble on my nipples. I arched my back "please stop teasing me". He smirked and moved his hand down and pulled the two strings to my bottoms. He took the off and he started to rub my clit. "Stop its to much" he did not care and went faster. I was a moaning mess. He then entered one finger into me. "Fuck you so tight" he started to pump in and out of me. He then added a second finger. "It hurts" he then started to rub my clit at the same time to help and it did. It was a mixture of pleasure and pain but mostly pleasure. "Im about to cum" when I said that he stopped. "Why did you stop" I say angry. "I'd rather have you around my cock instead of my fingers" he pulled them out.

"Just fuck me billy please" he smirked. "Don't worry I will" he then started to take off his red shorts. His cock was a lot bigger that I had expected. He saw my face and said "don't worry it'll fit" he then started to kiss me again. I moved my hand down and started to touch his cock. He groaned when I did that. I slowly started to move my hand up and down his shaft. "Yes just like that your doing so good" I got more wet when he said that.

He then pulled away from me. He turned me around so my back was facing him. He started kissing my back leaving marks. I could feel him tip against my slit. "Your so wet you little slut" before I could say something he pushed his cock into me. I screamed when he did that. He just started thrusting in and out of me. He didn't give me time to adjust to his size. "Fuck your so tight" I could feel my eyes start to water. "It hurts " he didn't say anything.

I then feel one of his hands start to circle my clit. With his other hand he turned my head towards him and he started kissing me. With him doing that the pain was less. I could still feel it but pleasure was taking over. I moaned in to the kiss. I felt him smirk "does it feel good" I nodded. He smacks my ass "use your words". "y-yes it does" I could barely say it. My stomach felt hot and weird. "Im c-" he pulled out and turned me around to face him. "I want to see your face when you cum" he then entered inside me again. I moaned at the feeling of him filling me up again. "Fuck billy" I moaned his name. "Say it again" he said while thrusting even harder. "Say my name" he looked serious. "Billy fuck " I moaned his name. When he heard me say his name he groaned. "Billy im going to cum " I said. "Fuck cum for me baby" that's all I need to hear. I came on his cock. He still thrusted trying to reach his high. I became sensitive at the feeling. "Im close " he said. His breathing was heavy. He pulled me close to him. I was kissing his neck leaving my marks on him. "Im cumming " his cum felt hot inside me.

We stayed like that for a while, trying to catch our breath. " your mine y/n" my heart was beating so fast. I blushed at that not knowing what to say. "Say your mine please" I nodded and smiled. "Im yours billy" he smiled and kisses me with so much passion. We got dressed, as I was putting on my swimming suit he throw me his jacket. "I dont want some pervert looking at whats mine" I laughed. As I was putting it on he came from behind and whispered into my ear "after my shift is over I wanna take you on a date tonight" I blushed. He saw me a kissed my cheek and left.

I walked out after getting over how red I was when he left. I swear everyone's eyes on me. Some were glaring of course it was the girls and some looked shocked that I was wearing billys jacket. But I didn't care about any of that cause all I can think about is the date I'm gonna have with him.

The end

#stranger things #billy x y/n #billy hargove smut #billy hargove imagine #billy x reader #smut #billy is alive #billy imagine #billy Hargrove fic #billy hargove x reader #stranger things fic #billy stories #stranger things story

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v-arbellanaris · 11 months

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tbd later but i keep seeing people just try to go on and on abt how ppl are morally reprehensible or whatever for Not Liking f characters and i just wanna say there's definitely. ABSOLUTELY. some people in fandom that need to fuckign check their misogyny. there absolutely is and ive been talking abt it on various different blogs and things like that since '09.

but.... idk is that constructive? or helpful? to attach morality to the gender of the characters that you like? idk! this shit fucked me up bc i would like... deny that i liked m characters. like i used 2 feel soooo guilty for liking m characters???? for YEARS??? and i rly felt it was my moral obligation to Like f characters and it was SO forced... and the truth is that a lot of the time ppl write f characters with v little depth and v little intrigue bc they dont want to make Statements abt women overall bc every f character written is somehow supposed to Represent multiple someones and even when theyre """"problematic"""" or """villainous""" or whatever its in a way thats designed more for them to be unlikeable instead of morally complex or morally compelling. ppl who write m characters usually dont bother to think abt the Optics (esp when theyre white m characters) and so all of the lovely complexities come through and its clear from the story n narrative that its unrelated to their identity, or if it is related to their identity, its because of how they relate to it (rather than the relation between identity and action being that being x means you do y or that BECAUSE you're x you do y). in all honesty there's v few f canon characters that have that kind of complexity (part of the reason im always writing my own - ive been writing ofc x canon character fics for actual decades, long before i joined this fandom) and the v few f characters that do have tht complexity are probably side characters or characters not directly relevant to the plotline. and bc theyre so preoccupied w writing these characters as like... a stand-in for Minorities or whatever, they're so careful to strip any potential conflict or moral ambiguity from them in a way that leaves me feeling not v compelled to care - compared to, lets say, m villains who almost always still have that shred of humanity left to compel me to care so much about them bc i can see myself in them, f villains usually dont get that. there's exceptions to this - i can think of a lot of comics characters for e.g. - and i love those exceptions, but they're exceptions.

and idk i feel like we should also acknowledge that like... ignoring that these f characters are badly written or lack compelling (notice i specify COMPELLING here like its not rly enough for them to have a husband or a kid or whatever that's not compelling???) humanising moments because ppl treat f characters like they're supposed to Represent All Womens and 2. this makes them less compelling than m characters like 80% of the time and 3. that these critiques should be anchored in "FUCKING DO BETTER". what could we change abt how we write and engage with f characters? talk about that as much as the critiques or whatever that we have for f characters in the first place bc people are much more willing to give up on trying to write f characters if theyre told "this was shit" vs "this could use with some improvement - what abt this? or that?"

like idk i think there's a more productive way we could be talking abt this

#fandom critical #i guess. i'll probs make this private or smth later but idk! im not a huge fan of 'if u like x why dont you like y'#with the intent of shaming rather than trying to encourage a discussion. is it rly misogyny or are the f characters here just badly written #and saying f characters are badly written IS NOT MISOGYNY. when m characters are badly written its rarely bc they're m #but when f characters are badly written it's usually contained to f characters only. and we should interrogate that and question it!#i dont think its BAD to say this f character was badly written to me and so i dont find her that compelling comparatively. like...#that's not always going to be misogyny? and the solution i think is to talk abt HOW we write m characters compellingly and #whats stopping us from writing f characters the same way. that's a more fruitful discussion to me #than just sitting there whinging that no one likes f characters. (which isnt true). DO SOMETHING about it.

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