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moonttaeil · 1 year

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trust fund baby; pt. I

▶ Pairing: Doyoung x reader.

▶ Word count: 25k.

▶ ; very angsty; part of a series but can be read as a standalone; doyoung is rude; I don't remember the main triggers I'm so sorry; talks of violence; substance consumption; slow burn; NSFW at some point;

THE TRUST FUND BABY – DOYOUNG – This guy is everything a fraternity’s dreams are made of. He is always decked out in designer gear. Every. Single. Day. We get it, you have money and are probably a business major. He’s the most confident person in the room because he knows nothing can touch him thanks to mommy and daddy’s money. Humility is probably not something he practices very often, so don’t be surprised when he acts like he owns the place (and his parents might actually own the place).

Doyoung’s hand was tightly grasping the phone while he talked with his father. His designer button-up shirt was neatly ironed and looked good on his slender body, his hair always in check and his aura giving out the fact that he had everything under control. Well, almost everything.

“But father I—“he tried to speak, just to be cut off by his father’s voice through the line. He sighed, nodding while he still listened to his words. “Okay, I understand what you’re trying to say, but don’t you think I have to at least—“, but he was cut off again.

His mission to persuade his father into not making him meet yet another of the daughters of his associates was unsuccessful once again. He looked out of the window of his room, just to see his frat brothers preparing everything for the party that they here having tonight. His father’s voice was still talking through the phone, but he had already shut his voice out. “Okay” was the only thing he answered to whatever he had said, giving up on changing his father’s ideas.

Having the luxury life Doyoung was used to have, it came with different consequences, just like having to agree with everything his parents said. “Doyoung, you need to take private riding lessons”, when he was seven. “Doyoung, you need to know at least four different languages”, when he was twelve. “Doyoung, you should, and will, be taking piano classes until you finish high school”, when he was fifteen. “Doyoung, you will major in business so you can take the reins once we’re gone”, when he had to choose what to study in college.

He always obeyed what his parents told him to do, but maybe this was taking it too far. They were choosing who he had to date, and probably who he had to marry one day. The rage he had felt inside of himself was building ever since he wanted to drop out of piano lessons because he thought it was boring, but they didn’t let him.

Doyoung has always had different interests than his parents. Instead of horse riding, he had always wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle. Instead of knowing four different languages, he had always wanted to travel around the world as a backpacker. Instead of piano lessons, he had always wanted to learn to play the electric guitar.

But the stern look on his parents’ faces, and the threats of leaving him without a penny from his inheritance, made him too afraid to even think about rebelling against them.

“Doyoung, we need help with the drinks” Taeyong, one of his best friends on the frat house, popped his head through his door, making Doyoung snap out of his deep thinking. “Yeah—I’ll be there in a second” he nodded back at him, as he opened his wardrobe to change his clothes.

The fact that Doyoung was in a fraternity was also part of his parents’ job. His father was part of that same fraternity, and so was his grandfather. It was funny the day he appeared to apply to enter, because everyone knew whose surname he proudly wore.

At the end, everyone knew who owned the house where the twenty one brothers lived in and threw parties constantly.

He looked at himself in the mirror of his bathroom. He ruffled his dark fluffy hair, making it messy. He took off the formal clothes he wore on campus and threw on an oversized t-shirt and some jeans.

Those were the times he felt normal. When they had a party, when he was around his frat brothers, or when he just acted like a normal kid who wasn’t drowning in money, those were the times he felt most happy. And he tried to seize every moment, knowing that the time was limited. Once he finished college, his limited freedom would be completely gone.

The loud music made your head hurt once you entered the house. This was the first time you attended a fraternity house party, and for now it wasn’t something spectacular. “Okay, but do we know someone here?” you asked your best friend, whose eyes were already set on every boy that passed by her.

“No, but we’re here to make friends Y/N” her voice shouted over the sound of the music blasting on the speakers, and you just shook your head. The Greek life on campus wasn’t something you were interested into. You always thought these people had too much money to enter a fraternity, for what? To brag about how much they could spend on a party for hundreds of people? It was ridiculous.

Making your way over where the drinks were, you felt a hand creep on your butt. Turning around quickly, you caught the person who was responsible for such actions. “What the fuck—“you shouted, and the boy in front of you just smirked, winking one eye at you. “If you ever touch me again I’ll make sure to chop off your hands, you got me?” you pointed an accusing finger at him, making his eyes widen at your words.

You felt your friend’s hands on your forearm, dragging you back. “What the hell was that Y/N?” she spoke, still holding you while you both walked to the kitchen. “What do you mean—he was touching me without consent” you shouted back, now very angry.

“What if you stopped being so defensive and maybe—I don’t know, let yourself loose a little?” she asked giving you a cup with some liquid you couldn’t recognize. Your eyelids had a heavy dark make up on, that contrasted with your eyes when you rolled them back. “I’m trying but that doesn’t mean I’m letting some spoiled brats touch me whenever they want” you spat back, drinking from your cup.

“I understand perfectly what you’re trying to say, yes” she nodded, also sipping from her cup. “But not everyone here is bad and malicious” she laughed back, and leaned on the counter next to you. “Do you see that boy over there, with the snapback?” she pointed at a tall boy whose dimples were showing while he talked.

“His name is Jaehyun, and I’ve heard around that he’s—let’s just say he likes to take control in bed” she nudged at you, a sly smirk appearing on your face. “And do you see that one over there?” she now pointed at another body who had a little ponytail and a wide smile.

“His name is Yuta” she spoke close to your ear so you could hear her perfectly, “oh don’t tell he’s the one that—“ you started to speak but shut yourself up when you saw her nodding in approval, a smirk also displayed on her face.

“Maybe this party is fun after all” you added, your eyes set on the different boys around the room.

Having a life full of freedom was something that your parents have taught you ever since you were little. You wanted to go and play in the mud? Go ahead. You wanted to paint the walls of your bedroom with your bare hands? Yes, of course, that’s a great way of letting your creativity flow.

You’ve never had someone telling you the things you couldn’t do, and because of the great example your parent were to you, you had achieved many things in life. Your passions changed constantly, but the effort and love you put on every single one of them gave off its benefits.

That’s how you entered college, majoring in art. Some people said that it was worthless to study art, what would you work on afterwards? They would always ask. But that’s not something you were worrying about, at the end, maybe you weren’t even alive by the time you had to look for a job. Living on the present, as you liked to call it, you almost never thought about what your future plans were, or what you did a year ago. That something you couldn’t change, either way.

After hours on the party, and maybe too much drinks for you, you were finally letting yourself go. Happily chatting with everyone around, laughing and flirting with every boy that had the chance to speak with you. You loved the attention, and the fact that you always acted uninterested made it more fun.

Walking back to the table where the alcohol was still, you tripped over somebody, pouring the rest of your cup over your clothes. “What the fuck?! You should watch where you’re going!” you shouted at the tall boy who had bumped into you.

His eyes narrowed at you, “watch your mouth” he threatened, looking down at your damp clothes. “What--? Do you see this?” you tried to take the shirt far from your body, as the alcohol was making it feel sticky on your skin. “Yeah I see—I’m sorry, maybe you should look where you’re going too” he simply answered back, shrugging his shoulders mindlessly.

It made your blood boil inside of your veins as you clenched your hands. The alcohol wasn’t making it easy to control your rage, nor the words that were about to leave your mouth. “Excuse me?!” the screech of your voice made him narrow his eyes. “I believe you’re the one guilty here, so I don’t understand the attitude”.

Wrinkles appeared on his face as he couldn’t understand why you were screaming after he had apologized. Some people had turned their faces to look at your wide eyes and head looking up at the mysterious boy in front of you. “Look, I said I’m sorry—don’t make a scene in front of everyone here” he leaned down a bit, trying to keep the conversation between your two. His breath hit your ear as he spoke and it made you shiver, which you couldn’t understand at all. Blame it on the alcohol, Y/N, the little voice appeared on your mind.

“I’m not making a scene—“

“Oh?” he smirked, and turned his head to look around the room. Your eyes followed his, to just realize that a lot of girls had a really angry expression on their faces and some boys were looking funny at you. “Look I don’t care—“

“You sure?” he asked again, now trying to make you even more angry. You knew it, just by the look on his face, you knew he was having fun. “I don’t know who you are—and I don’t want to know, but you should watch your attitude with people who you don’t know at all” you threatened him, you index finger accusing him. The black haired boy raised a questioning brow at your threat, and took you’re your finger. “And you should learn some manners, pointing at people? That’s rude” he laughed. “Look, you can stay—you’re cute, but—“he stopped, biting his lip as he looked around the room, “if you make a scene again, you will have problems” he was the one to threaten now.

The tone of his voice made all of your blood drain from your face. He had a stern expression on his, not a sign of emotion could be seen. And you felt fear for the first time that night. His aura was not something you were accustomed to, and you knew he was dangerous. Not gang member dangerous, no. You knew he was way too smart for that. He did not play.

His stone-cold eyes found yours for the last time before he moved, leaving you speechless and alone.

Your hand trembled as you were holding the brush. Your eyes were set on the canvas in front of you. All white. No colour. It was empty, just like your head. You took down your hand and placed the brush again on the little table that was on your right side. This has been the third day of not painting. And this project was due—twelve hours.

A loud and annoyed sigh left your mouth as you let your head drop back, eyes closed tightly. “What the hell!” you shouted frustrated. This has never happened to you before. Your imagination was wild all the time, the ideas had always flowed perfectly from your mind to your hand and onto the canvas in front of you. Then what the hell was happening to you now?

“Hey Y/N” Xiao Jun, your flat mate, entered your room after hearing you scream for the tenth time that day. You didn’t even answer back as he neared you to also look at the plain white canvas in front of you. “I see you haven’t really advanced anything on this project” he patted your shoulder. “And mister obvious appears once again” you answered laughing, making him smile down at you.

“What’s wrong?” he asked sitting down on your bed, his elbows leaning on his knees as he looked up at your worried face. “I haven’t seen you this blocked in like—I don’t know, ever since we were ten?” he laughed. “I don’t know I’m just— I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just don’t have anything on my mind” you looked down at your empty hand, and then at the white canvas in front of you.

“How long have you been like this?” he asked you again, and you avoided his eyes. Xiao Jun was someone you really appreciated to have in your life but both of you didn’t really—match on personalities. It was like day and night. Like the sun and the moon. Like water and fire. You had first met him when you two were seven year olds, on your first day of school. He had seen you doing all kind of crazy stuff and always tried to stop you before it was too late. Let’s just say that he was the—brain on the friendship.

“I don’t know maybe—two, three days?” you murmured, still avoiding his eyes. “Has something happened to you lately? Maybe something that had made you feel nervous, or scared or—“

“No!” you were quick to fire back, “I’m not afraid of anything, you know that” you answered standing up from your stool, taking off the stained clothes you always used to paint. He sighed as he looked at your naked body, changing in front of him. You were so used to his presence, that it was something completely normal. At least that’s what you thought.

“You know—it’s normal to be frightened of things Y/N, we’re all humans” he tried to speak calmly. “Yes, but nothing has happened to me lately, so don’t worry” you turned around to smile at him. His eyes were narrowed at you, he had never seen you being so defensive. He had never seen you so irritated and frustrated. You were now tying your hair up on a bun as you looked at yourself in the mirror, he stood up to stand behind you, looking at your reflection.

“Don’t tell me you got rejected” he smirked, cautiously studying your reaction. Your eyes widened and so did your mouth. “What! No!” you quickly answered, turning around to hit him on the shoulder. “What was that for?” he whined holding his shoulder. “Don’t be a pussy, I didn’t even hit you that hard—“

“Where are you going?” he asked as you were now taking your jacket. “Somewhere to inspire myself” you answered. “You’re going to get drunk on a Wednesday?” he asked following you out of your room. A laugh escaped your mouth as you felt his steps behind you, “Why? You want to come?”

He stopped to look at you put on your shoes, his body leaning on the wall. “No, I’m the responsible one, remember?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, don’t make me laugh Xiaojun” you answered, still struggling to put on your shoes. “No but really, a class mate is coming in like—“ he looked at his watch with narrowed eyes, “—thirty minutes and we have to finish a project for class, and he’s a bit—“ he looked at the ceiling, trying to find the right words.

“An idiot?” you asked him, putting on your jacket. “No, he’s too much of a perfectionist” he answered, his arms still crossed over his chest. “Well, I’ll try to come after midnight so I don’t bother the business men in the house” you shrugged smiling. “This is also your home, you won’t be bothering anyone” he tried to reassure you. “I know dumbass, I don’t know who mister perfect is but I’ll be back home for dinner, and do you want me to bring you something?”

“I’ll text you later”

The sun was setting, painting all of your surroundings a deep tone of orange. You were walking for about two hours now, alone. Your hands were on your pockets, and you just tried to take in everything around you, from the buildings to the people. Nothing made you really think, nothing made you really excited. Instead of finding the little details that made your heart thump in your chest with new ideas, you just found everything to be plain and boring.

You sighed again and closed your eyes, stopping in the middle of sidewalk. You couldn’t keep lying to yourself, the only thing you could see with your eyes closed was his face. The face of the boy who didn’t even flinch at your words, the one who didn’t give you a second look before turning around after threatening you with simple words.

“Who the hell are you?” you whispered, finally opening your eyes. The golden sun that bathed everything orange was almost gone, the darkness of the night slowly falling on the streets you were walking on. Once again, it was unsuccessful for you to find inspiration. Your muses were gone ever since your encounter with that stranger, who unconsciously had turned your life upside down.

You dragged your feet slowly, not wanting to go back home to just look at the white canvas. Almost all hope of finishing that project for tomorrow was gone. Maybe if you just painted a simple—no, you knew you were not a simple person, and so did your professors. They had always praised you for not being conventional, for taking risks and doing it your way.

But this? This was something you have never experienced before.

You took out your keys and opened the front door, sighing. Maybe it was the best to paint something simple, pretty with great colour scheme. “I’m home” you shouted, announcing your arrival to your flatmate. “We’re in the living room Y/N” you heard Xiao Jun’s voice resonate on the walls. We are? You asked yourself, it was almost 10 P.M., what the hell was his classmate doing here still?

With a tired and annoyed expression you entered the living room. Your feet stopped moving as you saw the back of who you supposed it was Xiaojun’s classmate. His black hair and broad shoulders. Your breathing hitched and your eyes widened. “Oh, Y/N you’re already here? We were just giving the final review on our project” Xiao Jun turned around to smile at you. The boy sitting next to him turned around to look at you too, and that was the moment your whole world crashed down.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you grimaced when your eyes met his. His eyebrows shot at your harsh words and so did Xiao Jun’s. “You know Doyoung?” he asked you, pointing at his classmate. “Doyoung? So that’s mister perfect’s name?” you asked and moved to sit down on the couch opposed to them.

“Y/N—“Xiao Jun tried to stop you, but your eyes were set on Doyoung’s face.

“No” Doyoung stopped him, smirking. “Y/N, right?” he asked, looking back at you. You could just nod at him while your eyes travelled on his face, taking in every detail. “Me and Y/N met in a party my fraternity was throwing three days ago and we had a little—misunderstanding” he chose his words wisely.

“Misunderstanding?” you murmured repeating his words. “But everything’s fine now, isn’t it?” his tone of voice changed unexpectedly. He had used the same tone of voice he used on the party. His eyes were cutting through you and for some reason you felt small around him. Words couldn’t come out of your mouth and you felt your palms getting sweaty.

Standing up quickly you ran out of the room, unable to keep looking at him anymore. The loud sound the door made when it was closed made both men flinch in their seat. “Hey Y/N—“you heard Xiao Jun shout behind you. “What the hell is wrong with her?” you could hear his words again, confusion tainting them.

Your back was glued to the door, your palms at each side of your body. Usually you didn’t lose control like this, so easily. But he managed to make you go crazy with every simple word he muttered, how was that even possible? How did he do it? Closing your eyes, there he was again. His face waiting in the dark to appear once again in your mind, his narrowed eyes and sly smirk, he had made his way into your life and now it seemed like you couldn’t make him disappear.

With a deep breathe you opened your eyes again. You were safe. You were in your room. Everything seemed normal, it felt almost like a bad dream. Losing composure like that wasn’t something you used to do, why now? The white canvas was still waiting for you at the end of your room, it was almost as if it was laughing at you. How pathetic, a boy appears in your life and he does not only make you go crazy, he disables you to do what you most love.

Their voices could be heard from the other side of the door which you were still leaning on. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning so we can give it a final touch, is that alright with you?” Doyoung’s voice was stern, almost as if he was a parent scolding his child. You couldn’t hear Xiao Jun’s response, he didn’t manage to do well in front of people who were more intimidating than him.

“And—“ Doyoung’s voice made an appearance once again, “—I’m sorry for what happened with Y/N” a scoff followed next, “I thought we left everything clear at the party, but I guess she’s still pissed at me for no apparent reason”

For no apparent reason? You were fuming. Almost ready to go out and slap off his beautiful face that smirk you’ve seen so little times but memorized perfectly in your mind. But if you got out there and made a scene again, he would think he won over you and your little patience. “I’ll try to apologize the next time I see her” his voice appeared again, and Xiao Jun’s little laugh was next. Apologize?

You were so confused. What made him think he would see you again? Why did he want to apologize if there was no apparent reason to be mad? Why was he so obnoxious? With your hands still on each side of your body, you sat down rigid on the stool in front of that damn white canvas. Enough was enough. You couldn’t let a stranger make you lose control like this.

Taking a deep breath, again, again and again. You finally picked up the small brush and prepared all the colours you wanted to use. Maybe this was your mind making it all up, but if you didn’t finish this, if you let the frustration Doyoung has created win over you, it would mean he had won. He had won a battle he didn’t even know he was having with you.

“That bastard—who does he think he is?” your hisses filled the room as you changed your clothing into something you could freely stain. Xiao Jun entered the room without you even realizing. His presence was sometimes like a shadow. “I swear if I see him again –“

“So he was the one who rejected you?”

His words made you turn around in surprise. Your eyes were wide, and your ears were starting to get red because of the embarrassment. “Who said he rejected me?” you defended yourself, still mad. The smirk on his face made it obvious he didn’t need any more information about the situation.

Doyoung hasn’t rejected you. Has he? No. that’s impossible, you didn’t even make a move on him. He simply poured all of his drink over you by accident. But he didn’t give you a second glace, that’s also true. That hasn’t happened before, right? Was that the problem? Was it because he had completely ignored you as a woman? Was that the reason you were going crazy? Because a boy ignored you?

“I don’t know what you’re thinking about, Xiaojun, but whatever it is, I don’t want to hear it” you decided to let this slip by. You didn’t need his judging eyes on you. “Don’t worry, it’s not because of you. Doyoung’s too much into studying to even think about girls, you’re not the problem Y/N” he said before leaving your room.

Your eyes were still wide, the stained clothes you used for painting sessions were tightly wrapped around your hands. Your heart was thumping in your chest, how did he know what were you thinking?

You let yourself sit down on the stool again. Your shoulders were still tense, and so were your hands. You wouldn’t be able to paint if you were this tense, it wouldn’t work out. Closing your eyes again, there he was. Waiting for you to close your eyes so he could appear. “I’m going crazy” was the only thing you could say.

“Okay then—if this is how my mind wants to play games on me, let’s play” you whispered before picking up the brush again. If he was the only thing you could think of, then he would be the subject of your project.

The clock was ticking on the wall as you were waiting for your professor to finish with the lecture. You hated this, you only liked the classes where you could put on practice everything he teaches on the boring lectures. You managed to zoom out of the class again, thinking about nothing and everything. Your eyes were focused on the pencil on your hands.

You made it twirl between your fingers, your bored expression too obvious. People started to move around you and you realized that class was over. Finally.

“Y/N” the professor called you before exiting. You scrunched your nose, it wasn’t the first time he had seen you daydream in his classes, was he pissed about that now? “I wanted to talk to you about your last project” his words were firm as he looked around some papers. Your heart stopped in your chest. Was he talking about Doyoung’s portrait?

“What about it? Is it that bad? It’s my first time trying out a realistic portrait, I’m aware it’s not completely—“

“Will you let me talk?” he stopped you, all your blood draining from your face. “Yes, sir” you muttered quietly, too embarrassed to even look at him anymore. “I was going to praise you on how good it was” he spoke again, looking up at you from his seat. The surprised expression on your face made him smile back at you. “And I was going to ask you if you would let us include it into the exposition we’re making in two weeks on the gallery” he explained again.

His words entered your mind but they made no sense. Your professors had always praised you on your work, but it was the first time someone has asked you to include your work for an exposition. “It would be auctioned afterwards, so if you don’t want to do it I’ll understand”.

You couldn’t answer to anything he was saying, too shocked to think about everything that was going on. So first he appears out of nowhere, he ignores you, he haunts you in your mind, and now, on top of everything, he was the one responsible for you to finally have the chance to hang your work on an exposition? He really made you go crazy.

“Professor” you finally spoke after a heartbeat, “can I think about it first? As you said, it’s my first portrait and if it’s going to be auctioned later on, it would be a great loss for me” you tried to sound sad, almost as if you wanted to cry. His eyebrows shot up in surprise because of your reaction, “yeah, of course—take your time” he quickly answered.

“Thank you” was the only thing you said before stomping out of the room. Your legs moved quickly around campus, you needed to get home first. Talk to Xiao Jun. Cry out your frustration, and then make a decision. You didn’t even know why he made you so mad, you didn’t even know him. You had only spoken to him two times. Y/N, what’s wrong with you? The little voice inside of your head made an appearance.

“I don’t fucking know what’s wrong with me” you hissed back.

“Y/N!” You heard someone shout behind you, making you stop. Turning around, you narrowed your eyes to catch who was calling you out. Xiao Jun’s face appeared as he was making his way to where you were standing. But he wasn’t alone.

Doyoung’s strong tall figure was walking by his side. He was taller than Xiao Jun, but he was as slender as him. Both men were dressed up nicely, their hairstyles on check, just like their faces. They were the epitome of perfection. And that bothered you, a lot. “Where were you going in such a hurry?” he asked once he was in front of you, Doyoung silently standing by his side.

“Oh—home” you answered, unable to look at him or Doyoung. “Home? You never hurry to go home” he laughed, trying to catch your gaze. “It’s because I have work to do—another project” you tried to explain quickly, feeling too awkward to be around them. “Oh, what did you do for your last project?” He asked again, and it bothered you how talkative and quirky he suddenly was.

“I didn’t do it—I couldn’t concentrate”

“Oh, Xiao told me about it—was it because of the little argument we had?” Doyoung was the one to talk now, a big smile appearing on his face. As if he knew he had won. “What? No, no—I just—it was a very difficult project and I couldn’t find inspiration to… finish it” you lied through your teeth, feeling guilty to be lying at your best friend.

“Well, I’m sorry for that—and, if you’re still bothered about that… I apologize for my behaviour” he spoke calmly, his eyes never leaving your face, as if he was used to apologizing for things he believed he wasn’t guilty for. “I—well…” you tried to answer, but the words wouldn’t come out. Well, this really did feel awkward.

“Oh Y/N, Doyoung’s parents have a gallery nearby—I thought you would like to go and check it out sometime” Xiao was the one to break the tension, trying to make you calm down. “Yeah that’d be—nice” you tried to sound friendly, but you still couldn’t believe how Doyoung apologized again. Why did he behave so differently? It seems like he wasn’t the same boy who bumped into you at the party. Perhaps he was drunk? No, that couldn’t be possible, he maintained his composure just like now, and the only thing that changed was his tone of voice.

“They’re also having an—“

“Look boys, I’d love to stay and chat but I really have to get home now—“you were speaking as you were slowly walking backwards, running away from them. “But—“

“I’ll see you home Xiao!”

When did you start running away from people Y/N? The little voice inside of your head asked. I’m not running away from--, but you were. You were running away from him. Why were you so scared to be around him, this has never happened before?

The way back home was filled with arguments between you and the little voice inside of your mind. Why did you even think about it so much? Why did he make you feel so uncomfortable? You didn’t even know him, damn it.

Home felt lonely without Xiaojun. Slumped down on the couch, you had your eyes fixed on the screen in front of you, mindlessly playing yet another episode of a stupid drama you decided to watch just to clear your mind. But nothing made you really forget about him. Were you really going mad?

A deep sigh left your mouth as you slouched even deeper on the couch, your head between your shoulders, a position that would probably lead you to have real bad back pains in the morning. “What is wrong with me?” you muttered out loud. Your phone was lying down next to you, you took it back up. No notifications. No calls. “Were did my social life go?”

Your mind wandered back to your room, where yet another white canvas was patiently waiting to be painted. Remembering back when you painted Doyoung’s portrait, you felt really frustrated for that being the only thing that your hands were able to transfer from your mind to the canvas. Your finished that damn portrait in less than five hours, that being your very first portrait.

The look he had the night you met him. That’s the only thing you were thinking about when you were deep into the painting session. His harsh yet simple words. The fact that he didn’t give you a second glance that night. How he threatened you. Nobody has spoken to you that way before.

The painting was nice. The colours were great. But it was nothing spectacular, why did your professor want it to be hung on the gallery? It had nothing special. You had hundreds of painting better than that one, and none of them have had that recognition.

Was it because you really let your mind do the work, instead of your hands? Was that even possible?

That’s it. You were officially going mad.

With a quick movement you sat straight on the couch. “I’m not letting that little fucker ruin my spirit!” your words came out harsh, resonating on the walls of the living room, mixing themselves with the sound that was coming out of the television.

The sound of keys opening the front door made you lose focus, turning yourself around to finally greet Xiaojun. “You’re back home?” you shouted as you stood up, tripping over your own foot as you made your way to the entrance. Your own excitement of having your best friend back home, someone to talk with about this damn problem that was eating you alive.

What you didn’t expect was to not only hear his voice, but the voice of that someone who has been tormenting you for the past week and half. “I’ll be ready real quick, just—oh, Y/N, you’re here” Xiaojun’s smile greeted you when he saw you wrapped up in a blanket waiting by the entrance.

“Where was I supposed to be?” you asked incredulous, totally ignoring Doyoung’s presence in your house.

His smile slowly dropped. “Well, is Friday night—I thought you’d go out” he quickly spoke as he moved past you, entering inside of the house. “Doyoung! Make yourself at home, I’ll be ready in ten” he said without looking back, directly entering his room.

You were left alone with him at the entrance. His eyes were set on you, his aura calm. He proceeded to take off his shoes, but you didn’t take your eyes off of him, narrowing your look at his every movement. “Look, I can wait here if you’re not comfortable with me entering—“

“No, you heard Xiao, make yourself at home” you quickly stopped him from talking, turning back and entering the living room once again. It was Friday night? Why are you home on a Friday night? You asked yourself. You were the outgoing one, why was Xiaojun suddenly going out on a Friday night?

“My brothers are throwing a party tonight, you’re invited… if you want to come“ Doyoung announced sitting down on the couch next to yours, trying to catch your eyes. But you were not having it, your own eyes glued to the screen in front of you. “Only if you don’t make a scene like last time” he scoffed under his breath, this situation was clearly funny to him.

“I’m good, but thanks” you quickly answered, making the tension between you two grow bigger. “Why are you like this?” he asked, his tone of voice still calm. With furrowed eyebrows, you maintained your eyes looking straight. “Well, you are clearly behaving like a little girl” he spoke again, now looking also at the screen.

“Who do you think—“

“You’re behaving just like the last time” he looked back at you, successfully catching your eyes. “But now you’re not throwing a fit, you’re just trying to ignore me… tell me, is it because I make you nervous?” the smirk on his face was showing up again, and that made you want to brush it off with a punch.

“What makes you believe you—out of everyone in this world, would make me nervous?” you laughed back, way too tense. “Well—I wouldn’t like meeting someone who knows how to put me in my place with simple words either” he showed a full smile now, totally opposite to his harsh words.

The sound of the television was totally muffled in your mind. You clenched your hands under the blanket repeatedly. “You did not put me in my place” you tried to sound harsh as he did, but it clearly came out weak.

“Sure”

The shrug of his shoulders really made you lose it. As you opened your mouth, ready to let out all kind of barbarities, Xiao exited his room. “I’m ready” he announced as he still brushed the hair out of his eyes. The tension between you and Doyoung could be easily felt, and Xiao noticed it quickly. “Um—Y/N, you’re coming with us?” he asked, trying to ease the atmosphere.

“No, those frat parties are too boring for me” the answer was simple, but it was directly addressed to Doyoung.

“I thought you were having fun last time, with all those men around you” he was quick to answer, a sly smirk on his face again. It made your blood boil, why? Because he wasn’t one of those men? “I haven’t been to any still, don’t spoil it for me Y/N” Xiao intervened again, already making his way to the entrance.

“Don’t black out Xiao, I’m not going to get you!” you threatened from the living room, only earning a couple of laughs from the two of them. “I’ll take care of him Y/N” Doyoung spoke again, and his voice was the last thing you wanted to hear.

And then, they left.

“Damn it!” your fists punched the couch underneath you. “How does that little fucker know what I’m thinking about all the time?” you asked yourself standing up.

Distraction. That’s what you needed.

You made your way back to your room, where the white canvas was waiting. “I have to clear my mind of him” you spoke softly, sitting down on the stool in front of it. The colours you wanted to use were ready, the brushes were also sorted out. But your mind was blank. “What now?” you asked yourself, looking down at your hands.

“Are you two going to cooperate or no?!” you screamed at them. “Okay—I’m really losing it” you sighed. Closing your eyes, you decided to be the one cooperating this time. “There’s no use to force things, right?” you spoke softly as Doyoung’s eyes appeared in front of you again.

You took the brush up. If this was going to be this way, you had to at least clear your mind in some way. You didn’t care if it was another portrait of him. You just had to calm down, clear it out, and then move on.

Doyoung’s head hurt like hell as he walked around the house full of people. The music was too loud, increasing the pain of his headache. His eyes were red and glossy. He didn’t have to drink that much that night, he was now regretting it. But he always did that after an argument with his parents.

“I’m not meeting anymore bratty rich girls father!” he had finally snapped that same evening. He was talking on the phone again, of course his father wouldn’t come to see him. They haven’t seen each other since the school year started. “Doyoung, you will do as I say” his voice came out stern, making Doyoung’s blood freeze in his veins.

“I believe that’s something too private for you to decide on it” he had answered back, ready to finally win this battle with him. He was tired. Tired of being thrown around like a rag doll, forced to do everything he hated deep inside. “Oh” his father let out a laugh from the other line, “don’t tell me you have a girlfriend? I thought you were too focused on your studies, maybe you’re not focusing enough, huh?” he had asked.

“What if I did?” Doyoung asked back, pushing his limits to the end. “Then you’ll have to end it”

His father’s words kept repeating over and over again as he made his way to his room upstairs. Everything was spinning around, he couldn’t focus his gaze on anything without the room turning upside down suddenly. “You will do as I say, Doyoung”, those words kept tormenting him for the last twenty years of life.

He finally arrived to his dark room. The sound of the music blasting outside was now muffled by the walls, the only source of light were the neon lights they had put outside on the yard. His body fell down on the bed on the centre of the room, his forearm quickly falling on top of his face, covering his eyes.

“I’ve been doing as you say all my life father” he murmured to himself, holding back the tears. Was it because he was drunk? Was it because he was frustrated? Was it because he was sad? He didn’t know. But all he wanted to do was to cry. He has never cried before, it was forbidden. Men don’t cry Doyoung, they confront the situation, his father’s words made their way back into his mind.

He had been building up the anger inside of his chest for the past years, successfully holding himself as a man, like his father had said. But what he didn’t know is that, all the anger he was holding inside had a date of expiry, and it may have finally come time for the bomb to stop ticking. It was about to explode, and it was about to destroy everything his father had created out of nothing.

“I’ve been doing as you say all my life—it’s time to change the rules of the game, father” he muttered one last time.

No tears were felt. He held himself together. Once again, he let all the anger build up just to let it all out at once. “This is the end, father”.

It was two A.M. And you finally put down the brush. It was Doyoung again. He was the one looking at you from the other side of the canvas. His dark eyes were the one cutting through your soul. You didn’t know how you achieved that look, but it scared you. Was it like that the last time you saw him? Were his eyes so tormented the last time you spoke with him? Or was your own mind playing games with you?

A deep sigh left your lungs as you kept looking at the painting. Have you really failed to see his real expression when you were in front of him? Was he really sad? You had too much questions, and all of them bothered you to no end. You shouldn’t be worried about a damn stranger, you should be out with your friends partying, not in your room painting a portrait of someone who seemed to be living a hell of a life. In a bad way.

Your hands trembled as you kept looking at him. Your mind must be playing games on you. He seemed calm and collected every time you saw him, he didn’t seem sad nor miserable. Why did you paint him like this? “This is stupid” you said taking the canvas and leaving it on the floor, leaning on the wall next to your bed. “I shouldn’t have done this” you spoke again, looking down at the painting.

As you changed your clothes you thought again about your professor’s offer. Maybe it was a good idea to expose one of your paintings, and maybe someone would buy it. But again, who would want a portrait of a stranger hanging on their wall? Well—there’s weird people out there, you nodded to yourself.

“I shouldn’t worry too much about it” you spoke again, now lying down on your bed, your eyes fixed on the ceiling above from you. “Let’s just try to sell it and ignore him forever”.

A week had successfully passed and it seemed like Doyoung visit less your mind. But Xiaojun made sure to bring him up whenever he spoke about something about his classes. How convenient for him to be his classmate.

“Are you going to come with me tonight?” you asked him as he entered the house, later than usual. His eyes snapped up with surprise. “Tonight?” he asked again, confused. Your heart stopped for a second, you were excited to go to the exposition in the gallery with him, but again, he shouldn’t be ready to go with you whenever you asked him to. “Oh—oh my god, the gallery!” he screamed, suddenly remember his mistake.

“Oh god Y/N! I totally forgot about it!” he made his way towards you, his arms open as he embraced you with his slim body. “Don’t worry Xiao—it’s okay, damn it you’re suffocating me” you fought against his arm to set free.

“I can’t come—I have a paper due tomorrow and I haven’t finished it yet” he apologized. The sadness in his eyes was clear, and your heart felt heavy of guiltiness when you saw him like that because of you. “Hey—look at me” you took his face in your hand to make him look at you, his eyes moving to look at you.

Your faces were close. Too close. Suddenly it seemed like you had forgotten how to breathe properly. His eyes were travelling from yours, down to your lips and then back up. The same pattern over and over again.

His arms were still around you, his hands still on your lower back. It was hard to mute the loud thumping of your heart against your chest. You forgot what you were about to tell him. It was the first time you both were this close without joking. His face was serious, and so was yours. “Y/N…” he muttered, and his voice made you snap out.

What are you doing Y/N!?, the little voice inside of your head appeared, an alarm going off. What was going on? No- no, this was wrong. Slowly you moved your face to the left, breaking the eye contact. “I should get going—“you spoke back, his hands falling from around your body.

His head hung low and he was biting the inside of his cheek. He felt awkward, you could feel it. It broke your heart to see him like this, to know you were the one responsible for his hurt. “I’ll be back soon! It would be great if you left some leftovers for me, mister perfect!” you screamed from the entrance, trying to ease the tension that had built between you two.

“Yeah, will do” he responded as he made his way back to his room, without giving a second look.

Your heart broke every time you reminisced that time. That time when Xiaojun finally made a move, after month of you telling him to do what his heart told him to do. He had talked to you about this girl he liked. He had a beautiful smile, was a very outgoing person and her ideas were marvellous. He never told you it was you he was talking about.

Until that day. His heart broke when you told him you didn’t feel the same way. But he tried to cover it up as it didn’t make his heart shatter to the ground, leaving traces everywhere. It was sad. Damn it, it was like going through hell. He distanced himself a lot from you.

A whole year without talking with him went by until he finally decided to reappear again, telling you he had moved on. He had forgotten about you. Telling you that everything was like the beginning of your friendship. And you decided to give him a second chance, knowing deep down that he was lying. He was lying to maintain some kind of contact with you. But breaking all kind of relationship with him would be worse.

“Why do you complicate things so fucking much, Xiaojun” you whispered to yourself as you were making your way to the gallery. Your legs took you to the gallery as your mind was still occupied thinking about your flatmate, and who you thought it was your best friend.

Finally arriving, you saw a lot of people inside. Too much people for your liking. All of them would see your portrait? Suddenly your palms became sweaty. You entered the place and the anxiety in your chest grew bigger. All of their eyes would judge your painting? The painting of a stranger?

Your brows were furrowed as you made your way between the people inside. They all were dressed in fancy suits and dresses, all of them giving off that they had money. A lot of money. What kind of gallery was this?

The more you walked inside, the bigger the place seemed. You looked around the walls, all of them covered with paintings. You could recognize some of the paintings of your classmates, others were completely unrecognizable. But you couldn’t spot your own. Maybe they decided to not hang it at the end. Of what you could see, there wasn’t any portraits. No one had painted a portrait, it would be too strange if there was a portrait of a stranger hanging on this exposition.

“Ah, Y/N I’ve been waiting for you to arrive!”

Your professor’s voice made you turn around. His big smile was shining bright, as the proud look on his face made it clear he had a successful exposition. “I’m sorry I’m late” you apologized, your eyes still wandering around the walls trying to find your painting.

“No, don’t worry! You’re just in time!” he reassured you after seeing you nervous. “What? You’re looking for the portrait?” he asked, raising a questioning eyebrow. “Yes—but I do understand if it’s not hanging, after all it’s just a stranger’s portrait and it would be weird if—“

“A stranger’s portrait?” he stopped you, a real confused look on his eyes. “What do you mean a stranger’s portrait? Y/N—that portrait speaks to me, his eyes… the hurt, the sentiment—honestly, I haven’t seen something like this in a long time. I’m really glad you decided to risk it with a portrait, you haven’t done anything like that before” he praised you, which only lead to your nervousness to increase.

“Wha—“

“Come, let me show you” he said leading you to the other side of the gallery, “that portrait has taken all of the attention tonight Y/N”

“All of the attention?” you repeated his words, unable to believe what he was saying. He lead you to one of the walls were people were crowded around to look at the painting hung there. “I can’t believe someone could express so much in so little” you heard someone mutter. “The look on his face—this is real art” another voice said.

“Isn’t that the son of the Kim’s?” someone else asked. “I think that’s him—but, why is the look on his face so tormented?”

“The son?” you muttered, confused by that last conversation you heard between strangers. You arrived to stand in front of your own painting, but you couldn’t recognize it. Yes, you had painted it. Yes, your hands were the one holding the brushes. No, you didn’t remember him being that sad. It struck you like a lighting.

His eyes were red, just like in the party. His hair was messy, his skin was pale. It was true, the painting was talking to you. The painting was telling you how miserable he felt inside. “A real masterpiece, Y/N” your professor’s words made you snap out back to reality. “I hate to say this but I don’t think this is—“

“Great painting” someone said from behind of you, his voice too close to your ear. Your heart skipped a beat, and it seemed like the place became smaller with too many people inside. It scared you to turn around. To turn around and face reality. To face the person who had praised you on your painting—no. On their own portrait.

He stopped to stand on your side. His body stood tall next to you, his broad shoulders back and his chest out. He clearly had presence, and suddenly you felt too small to stand next to him. Too scared to even respond. “I never thought I’d see a painting of myself, that’s something my father would order—you know, just like the old times” he laughed, trying to ease up the tension.

“I’m sorry—this wasn’t supposed to—“

“What are you sorry for?” he arched a brow, finally turning his body to look at you, taking away the attention from the painting. “It is nice to know I’ve struck you like this, I didn’t know I had such an influence on people” a laugh left his chest. There he was again, making you angry for no reason.

“It may be a portrait but…” you looked at him, and then back at the painting, “clearly it’s not the same person, Doyoung”.

His expression changed, his face turning back to look at the painting. “I see the same handsome face”.

“No” you simply answered. It didn’t make any sense. The vulnerable, miserable, sad boy in the painting wasn’t the same egoistic, confident, rich boy that was standing on your side. “I took your face, that’s true—but, the feelings the painting is showing, I believe you’ve never felt them before Doyoung, that’s why it’s not the same person” you finished. Angry and frustrated.

He went silent. It was hard to breathe. His presence was still strong. You looked up to him for a quick glance, just to see his eyes fixed on the portrait, his jaw clenching and his eyebrows furrowed. He looked concentrated on the painting, as he was trying to feel what the painting was feeling. But how could a rich kid, who had always had everything he wanted, ever feel sadness? That’s impossible, you thought.

“You won’t feel what he’s feeling, even if you look at him for five hours” you spoke again, making his eyes snap back at you. He didn’t answer. You shut him up, completely.

“Son, have you found the famous artist who drew this masterpiece” a strong voice was heard from behind Doyoung’s back. His face was still stiff, and so was his whole body. “Yes, father” he answered, his eyes still set on you.

Your eyes widened at his words. He moved to the side, letting you see who you supposed were his parents. Doyoung was a living copy of his father. He was tall and slim, his eyes had the same almond form and the sternness of his face was also there. On his side was standing a woman with a beautiful face. They both were beautiful, indeed. No wonder Doyoung looked like that.

“Let me introduce you to the artist of my portrait” he spoke calmly, his eyes still set on the painting. But he wasn’t looking at it, he was thinking about something else. Finally he moved his face to look back at you, “This is Y/N, the artist and—“ he took a breath before looking back at his parents.

“—my girlfriend”

Your eyes widened. It was like looking at a mirror, their expression shocked as yours. “What—“you tried to speak, but words were stuck in your throat. His father still had a serious expression on, but his mother smiled kindly at you. “So it was true” his father mumbled, looking down at you.

“Why? You thought I was lying?” Doyoung answered back with confidence. It surprised you how scary that man seemed, and how brave Doyoung must be to confront him that way with his words. “So you’re an artist?” his father asked, his eyes looking directly at your soul.

The only thing you could answer was a nod of your head. “And that’s all you do? You live off your art?” he asked again, his tone of voice was no longer friendly. It felt like he already despised you. “Well I’m still a student—“

“But you plan on living off of this?” that last sentence was followed by a scoff. The situation was so surprising you totally forgot where you were, or who you were. You blinked twice before looking again at Doyoung, who decided to intervene. “No one knows what life holds for us, right father?” he tried to protect you from his harsh words.

But why was he protecting you if he has been the one to get you into this mess? His girlfriend? What the hell was wrong with him? “I believe there’s a misunderstanding—“

“No, Y/N” Doyoung interrupted, his hand falling on your lower back as if he was going to lead you somewhere else. “Please excuse my father, sometimes he forgets he’s not at the office” he spoke quietly, already turning you around to leave. “I’ll see you later, father” he finally said before pushing you to walk.

His hand was burning against your clothed skin, just the pressure of having it there made your legs feel weak. As you two were finally on the other side of the gallery, you turned around to snap his hand away from your body.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” you hissed under your breath, your eyes wandering around the full room. “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you about the plan before executing it” he readjusted his tie, also looking around the room in case he saw his parents again.

“Wha—the plan? Maybe you should’ve started by asking me if I was okay with following the plan—whatever that plan is!” you hissed back, your eyes so wide they were about to pop out. “Oh, don’t make a scene” he repeated his words again, and your palm really itched to slap him across the face.

“What do you mean by that? You just introduced me to your parents as your girlfriend and we don’t even know each other!”

“We do know each other, we’ve talked before” he said back, his eyes now as wide as yours, as if he was stating the obvious. “Are you crazy? Is that it? Doyoung, you don’t know someone because you’ve talked with them two times!”

“Well you painted a portrait of me—I think that’s more than enough evidence that we do know each other”

“I already told you that’s not the same person I’m talking with!”

He took a step closer, his intimidating presence making an appearance once again. Your breath hitched in the back of your throat, as you had to tilt your head up to look at him properly. “Look Y/N…” he started to speak, his voice low in order to keep the conversation as private as possible, “just roll with it for tonight—we’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay? Do me this one favour, and I’ll owe you one, that’s a real big deal” he nodded.

It really exasperated you how annoying he could be. “Why are you doing this?” you asked him, your eyes narrowed at him. “I can’t explain it right now—“

“Why?”

“Because you wouldn’t understand. Just like you don’t understand that your painting and the person you’re talking with are, in fact, the same person” he finally said, moving his body away from yours.

People started to move around, leaving the room where all the paintings were hanging. “Just act like you are my girlfriend, and we’ll see about it tomorrow, can you do that for me?” he spoke again, moving around to stand back on your side, his hand sliding once again on the small place on your lower back. The tension was so big you couldn’t even respond to his question, only answering with a light nod.

Both of you made your way another big room, where everyone was gathering around. It was time for the auction. Doyoung stood by your side in the middle of the room. “Are you going to bid up for the paintings?” you asked nervous. His straight face was impossible to be read, his eyes fixed straight ahead.

Your eyes caught his parents, they were at the front of the room chatting with another older couple. “I’m not really into paintings but—“he spoke taking your attention away from his parents. The more you looked at his father, the more they looked alike. “—I’ll try to piss off my father” he finished.

“Why? That sounds stupid” you quickly snapped back. That was very rude for him to say, at least that’s what you thought. You had deep respect for your parents, the one who had raised you freely, letting you experience life to the fullest. “You might understand soon” was the only thing he answered before the man standing in front, next to one of the paintings, raised his voice.

“First of all, I want to announce how grateful we are, in the name of the whole department of art of the university” he started his speech, “of course, we wouldn’t have done this without Mr. Kim’s help and gallery, we’re also very grateful for that” he directed his words to Doyoung’s father, who just nodded at him.

“So this gallery is--?” you tried to ask, but Doyoung answered before you could even finish the question. “Yes, my parents own this place, just like almost the rest of the university” he spoke softly, careful to not be heard. “Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked incredulous.

“Oh, so now our relationship is strong enough for me to talk to you about my parents?” he grinned looking down at you, remembering the argument you both had just moments ago. Gritting your teeth you decided to not answer, he was wining this game again, and he was unconscious he was playing at it.

“Just forget about it” you murmured, just when the auction started. The first painting was sold for five hundred dollars, something you wouldn’t have even imagined, it was a painting made by a student, right? Who were these people? Why were they here? You kept asking yourself, as all of the paintings were being sold at a fast pace for really big numbers.

“Next painting is a portrait!” the man that was leading the auction raised his voice again, making your eyes snap ahead to look at your work. “I bet all of you recognize the young gentleman on this one” he laughed looking at the painting and then back at the crowd, earning a few comments and smiles back. “Okay, who wants to start this?” his smile grew wider when he saw hands being raised up.

“A hundred!” someone shouted from the other end of the room.

“Two”

“Three fifty here!” someone else attacked back.

Everything was going too fast for you to even proceed all of the information. They were going to pay so much money for a simple portrait?

“A thousand!” a strong voice appeared from the front of the crowd. You recognized that voice from your first encounter. The look on his face was the same animals had on when they were on a hunt. It was scary. “I double it!” Doyoung shouted from your side, making your eyes grow wide.

“What?! Two thousand for that simple portrait?! Doyoung are you crazy?!” you hissed at him, your palms sweaty. His eyes were on his father. It was obvious they were on an internal fight, and none of them wanted to lose. “Two and five hundred!” the father answered back. “Make it three thousand then!” Doyoung attacked back.

Their faces were straight as usual, none of them showed any emotion. He had definitely learned that from his father. He must’ve been trained to do that, it was impossible for a human being to be in such a serene state of mind when he was bidding up with such amount of money. “This is a fight between father and son, ladies and gentlemen! Who will give more!?” the leader of the auction appeared again.

“Five thousand” the older man’s voice was still going strong, only earning a smirk from Doyoung. “Ten!” he said back, raising his hand again. Your heart was beating so fast inside of your chest you felt like it was about to explode, it was about to jump out of the cage that your ribs were forming. “Oh god you really have gone mad—this… this is not okay” you kept muttering, but he wasn’t listening. His mind was somewhere else. His mind was racing against his father.

“Woah, ten thousand for his own portrait! He must like himself too much then, right?” the leader of the auction tried to ease the tension that was building in the room. Their presence was big, bigger than anyone else is in the room. They both stood tall, their chest and head raised. None of them was backing out on this. “Fifteen!” his father said back, his eyes set on Doyoung’s.

Fifteen thousand dollars for your mediocre portrait? You definitely had to stop this. Taking Doyoung’s hand in yours you took his attention away from the situation successfully, his surprised eyes looking down at you.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to prove, but—this is getting out of hand” you hissed at him. His eyes were set on yours, just to travel down at where both of your hands met. “Sixteen!” he shouted back, his eyes set on you this time. “Why--?”

“Eighteen!” the older voice shouted over the crowd.

Your hand was firm on his, grasping even more with his every movement. “You don’t have to do this Doyoung—“you tried to stop him, this was ridiculous. It just proved how much money they had to spend on stupid things like a mediocre portrait made by a simple art student. “You wouldn’t understand Y/N…” he whispered before raising his head ahead one more time.

“Twenty—that’s my final bid!” he spoke, making the crowd around you murmur, mixing the inaudible words with gasps. His father and he exchanged hateful looks, filled with desire of fight. “If there’s no one else taking that bid up—“the man who stood at the front next to your painting took a brief moment to let people talk, but no one would rise up that bid.

“Mr. Kim is the one taking this beautiful portrait of himself back home! Thank you!”

“You have definitely lost your mind—“you murmured, still amazed of how much money he decided to pay for that. If you knew it before, you would’ve told him you had another one back in your room, waiting to be destroyed. Twenty thousand was a big amount of money, more than anything you could`ve imagined to ever earn out of a painting. “You should be grateful instead of whining so much, Y/N” he interrupted your train of thoughts once again.

“Grateful?”

“I just gave you twenty thousand dollars, now you’re the one who owes me a favour”

His words were harsh. His eyes were cold. He was, indeed, heartless. “You have to be—“

“No, I’m not kidding” he stopped you once again, his eyes moving forward, at where his parents were making their way to where both of you were standing. “Tomorrow, when I get the chance to explain everything…I hope you accept the deal—think of all the money as an extra. If you don’t want to do it, it’s fine. I understand”

How could a person be so cold? He was basically paying you to be his side chick for whatever turbulent plan he had in his mind. What did he want so much? He had everything, money, a family, a bright future. Why was he so mad at the world surrounding him?

“Good job son” his parents arrived to stand in front both of you. His mother had her hand around her husband’s arm, tightly grasping at it. Her expression was calm, a sly smile appearing. “You had the courage to not back out on such a tense situation—I’m proud”

What? Proud? He was proud his son just wasted all that money on something you did in five hours? How could someone be proud of that? “You kept yourself collected all the time, you didn’t show any sign of weakness. Good job” he praised him one last time before nodding his head and making his way out of the room where the auction was still going on.

“Proud?” you whispered as your eyes followed their figures that were already making their way out. “That’s the third time I hear those words coming out of his mouth” Doyoung said, “third time? This year?”

“Third time ever since I was born”

You were nervous as you took another step closer to the house where you first met Doyoung. Unlike the last time, you were going there with the daylight. It was a huge house, too big. How many people lived there? You still didn’t know anything about his fraternity. Your heart was beating loud in your chest, why were you so nervous to meet with him again?

After the events of the prior night, your mind couldn’t stop racing with all kind of theories about what Doyoung wanted to achieve with this silly plan of his. You couldn’t sleep properly, and that was obvious because of the dark circles under your eyes. Even the concealer couldn’t do a good job covering them.

Ringing the bell twice, someone finally opened the big door of the house—or mansion. You didn’t remember it that big. “Who are you?” a slim boy standing in front of you asked. His face was gorgeous and that took your breath away. “I’m—well I actually—“

His eyebrows rose up and a cheeky smile appeared on his face. “Don’t be nervous, who did you come to see? Jaehyun?” he asked. You narrowed your eyes at him. “I don’t who Jaehyun is”, that answer surprised him. “Oh—I’m sorry, he’s usually the one bringing girls home all the time, I just thought—“

“Well you thought wrong” you answered quickly, suddenly all of your nervousness leaving your body. Did he really think you came here just to fuck one of the brothers? Did you really gave off that vibe? “I’m here to see Doyoung” you said after the awkward silence that had set upon both of you.

“Doyoung?”

“Yeah—I’m Y/N, I don’t know if he has mentioned—“

“Oh my god Y/N! I totally forgot you were coming today, yes come on in! I’m sorry I mistook you as one of Jaehyun’s fuck buddies!” he quickly apologized for his prior comment, taking you by your hand and leading you inside of the house. “I’m Taeyong” he introduced himself, that cheeky smile back on his face.

“Yeah well I came—“

“Yes, we all know you were coming today but I totally forgot about it, just go upstairs and the third door is his bedroom, he must be there” he pointed to the big staircase leading to the second floor. “Why did you all know that I was coming?” you asked before turning around.

“Doyoung never invites girls home, so it would be very strange you appeared out of nowhere. He decided to warn us, in case we kicked you out, you know” he explained, his ears turning red in embarrassment.

Without much questions, you decided to let it go. It was strange, but the situation you were currently in was stranger. Knocking twice on the third door, Doyoung appear from behind of it. “I already thought you wouldn’t come” he smiled at you, politely letting you inside.

It wasn’t a surprise his bedroom was so clean and tidy. His walls were white, matching with the bed covers. Everything was kept minimal. Everything was placed perfectly. It had nothing to do your messy room, where the brushes and colours were sprawled all around, some of your clothes were laying down on the floor and it was way too filled with all kind of paintings you didn’t know what to do with.

“I’m sorry I’m late” you apologized, already feeling nervous around him. It wasn’t the fact that he was drop dead gorgeous, well—maybe that could be another factor to it, but you have discovered that the one thing that made you nervous about him was his presence, it was like every time you talked with him—he tried to negotiate. He didn’t hold any small talks, he didn’t talk about the weather. He was direct, clear and organized with his words.

“Don’t be” he smiled again, “please, take a seat” he pointed down to his bed, as he sat on the chair he had in front of his desk. “So—will you finally tell me why you threw me at the wolves like that last night?” you tried to keep yourself together, not letting him know that your hands were sweating.

“Look, I don’t if you’ve noticed but I… well, I don’t have the best relationship with my father” he started to explain, and you decided to let him talk, it would do no good if you interrupted him with sarcastic remarks. “But lately—it has become too much for me. He’s now trying to set me up to date people who I don’t even know, you know… his associates daughters”.

Your eyebrows were furrowed at his explanation. “That’s horrible”, you really did feel sorry for him. For the short amount of time you’ve been around his father’s presence, and for the short conversation you two had, you could already know he wasn’t someone easy to get along with. He must’ve pressured Doyoung through all of his life.

“That’s why I need your help, Y/N” his eyes rose to look directly at you. “It may sound stupid, but confronting my father by bringing home someone I know he won’t approve, is the best way I can finally show him that I won’t keep doing as he says”

“How are you so sure he won’t like me, he doesn’t even know me” you tried to laugh out his harsh words. “Because you’re not the type of person that he likes to be associated with” his statement came out calm, as if it was something normal to say. As if it was a sin that his son would ever think about dating some who wasn’t as rich as him. Blinking twice, you couldn’t believe what you just heard.

“I know that sounded wrong but it’s the truth—at least for my father” he tried to fix his poorly chosen words. “Doyoung I think you have to look for another—“

“No, it has to be you!”

“Why?”

“Because I already introduced you as my girlfriend”

“Well, if you had asked me before doing such a stupid thing we wouldn’t be into this mess!” you attacked back, deciding on not backing out on him again. “Don’t raise your voice at me, we’re having this conversation as civilized people” he kept his tone low, and it was now that you realized that your fists were clenched on your lap.

He really did a great job making you lose control. “Look—“you stopped to take a deep breath, “I know that your situation must be difficult and—I’m sorry you have to live this way, but maybe you should just let it go and… I know he will understand that you don’t want to do whatever he says without making all this lie up”

“You don’t know him Y/N” he leaned back on his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “Heck, I don’t even know him. I only know Mister Kim the business man, I don’t know him as Mister Kim the father”

It broke your heart the way he spilled all of those words filled with hate. His eyes were lost now, as if his mind was wandering back to some other time when he was a little boy. You cursed yourself for being such an empathic person, deeply feeling how hurt he must feel now. “Doyoung—“

“I told you last night I wouldn’t pressure you on doing something you don’t want to, I’m just asking for one chance” he tried to persuade you again. His posture changed, now his elbows were leaning on his knees. Your heart was beating fast, as fast as the thoughts racing in your mind.

You had definitely lost you mind, Y/N, you said to yourself.

“How much time do I have to pretend to be your girlfriend?” you asked softly, gaining back his attention, accompanied by a big smile spreading on his face. “Will you really do it?” he asked again, as if he was scared you would change your mind on the last minute. “I’m giving you one chance, I owe you one, remember?” a smirk appeared on his face after your words slipped from your mouth.

“Great! They’re going on a little get away this weekend, they asked me to bring you with me” he was now standing up, looking for his phone. “Oh, great! Holidays!” you cheered, maybe this wasn’t that bad after all. “And where are we going?”

“Paris” he answered back, making your eyes go wild. “A little get away is going to Paris? What kind of holidays do you have then?” your voice came out pitched, way too shocked with the situation. He finally turned his body around to look at you again, his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. “We have a house in Paris and we sometimes go there if we feel stressed out, it’s really nice there” he explained, only making your mouth open wider.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t been to Paris before”

“Well, of course I haven’t been to Paris before!”

“I’m sure you’ll love it, maybe you can get inspired again and paint another portrait, who knows.”

“How come you started to miss your family out of sudden?” Xiaojun asked. His body was leaning against your door as he looked at you packing your suitcase. “And why are you taking such fancy clothes if you’re just going back home?” his questions were starting to irritate you.

“Is it a crime to miss your family? And—why can’t I dress nice for once? I don’t have to walk around oversized tees that are all stained!”

“I’m not saying you can’t dress nice… you look good on everything” he said still following your every move with his eyes. How were you supposed to answer to that? It only reminded you of the time he sacrificed his feelings just to keep being by your side, even as friends.

Both of you were going back home from a party. It was dark and cold outside. You tried to fight the cold by bringing your jacket closer to your body. Xiaojun’s house wasn’t far away. You were sleeping there because your parent would be too preoccupied if they knew you were going to a party even still being underage, it would do no good. “I’m so tired” you whined, dragging your feet.

“We’re almost there” he answered suddenly placing his arm around your shoulders, trying to keep you warm.

You two have known each other ever since you can remember. Having him by your side made you feel protected, just like an older brother. His love and support has always been there, and you took it for granted.

“I think I feel something for you, Y/N” he had said that same night, lying down on his bed next to you. Your heart was about to explode because of the sadness it felt, knowing very well that you couldn’t say the same back to him.

You weren’t brave enough to talk it out. You were just a coward who decided to run away from the situation, pretending to be asleep and acting as if nothing had happened, as if he didn’t place his heart in your hands for you to just crush it by ignoring him.

Your ways separated that night. Both of you knew you weren’t asleep. Both of you knew you had heard him very clear, but you didn’t have the courage to confront the situation.

“I’ll be away from a weekend only, please don’t destroy the house” you warned him, closing your suitcase. “Oh, you’re not really the right person to say that” he answered laughing, already leaving your room and making his way to the living room. “I have already apologized five times about that party Xiao! Will you were forget about it!” you whined following him around.

It was one time he went back home and you decided it was a great idea to have a little gathering with friends. Which turned out to be worse than a frat party. “I forgive but I don’t forget Y/N” his laugh filled the room.

“Anyways mister perfect, I’ll be back on Sunday night so I hope you welcome me with a nice homemade meal”

“I’ll be waiting you like a loving husband waits for his wife to come back from a business trip”

“Don’t be so dramatic”

As much as you wanted to play it cool, you were actually nervous about the trip. You were travelling to another country with someone you had met two weeks ago. It was good to be a free soul but wasn’t this too much? You could totally hear your mother’s words: if your heart wants to do it, go for it, it will never lie to you.

Yes, it will never lie to you but did your heart want to go? You still didn’t know what Doyoung has done to you, ever since the first time you saw him on that party. His eyes had followed you around, his voice appearing in your mind.

The second portrait you painted was still carefully hidden in your room behind the shadows of other bigger paintings. You tried to make it disappear by placing it somewhere you couldn’t constantly see it. It was more than enough that you couldn’t make him leave your head, you didn’t need his face around your room too.

Maybe you should give it to him after the trip. That would be the end.

He was waiting in his car outside your building. As usual, his outfit was clean perfect and it made you feel insecure to walk around him. It was obvious both of you were from different worlds, different social circles, different mentalities. This trip would be a difficult one.

“Good morning” he greeted with a big smile on his face, irritating you how calm he was about the current situation. “Morning to you too” you quickly answered, trying to avoid him.

“Are you ready?” he asked as both of you were already in his car, making your way to the airport. “I don’t know—are you?” you tried to sound confident, but your shaking voice made obvious how insecure you felt about it. “Don’t worry about anything Y/N, I’ll make sure to not put you in any kind of awkward situations. They planned this trip because they wanted to meet the person I’m dating and that’s all”

“Please don’t forget the fact that we’re not actually dating, god—I don’t even know your favourite colour”

“But you shouldn’t be nervous about the simple things, we just have to come up with a great background story and that’s it!”

“Have you ever dated someone Doyoung? It’s not that easy to show feelings for someone when you’re not really in love! Are you aware of that?”

“I’ve seen first-hand fake feelings Y/N, my family made sure to teach me that ever since I was little”

His words caught you off guard, making you feel terrible about snapping at him that way. You’ve never met someone with so much money. You’ve never talked with anyone who lived the life he lived. You didn’t know anything about him.

It saddened you to know his family had neglected him all of his life, taking decisions for him and making him feel that way. But, once again, who were you to be worried about him? About his well-being? You weren’t even friends. Didn’t he have female friends who could help him out? Was he that desperate to fight his family that he had to ask a stranger for help?

The silence that fell upon both of you was awkward. You could clearly hear your heartbeat, but then again, there wasn’t a coherent answer to what he had said. The only thing you could do was to feel guilty about your words.

“Black” he said out of sudden. You titled your head to the side to look at him. His eyes were focused on the road, his right hand on the shifting gear and his left arm relaxing on top of the steering wheel. “My favourite colour is black” he spoke again, briefly meeting your eyes before turning back to focus his attention on the road.

“Okay, let’s just do this. What’s the plan?” you asked him, ready to leave that short argument behind. You didn’t know why, but you wanted to help him out. “Easy, we met because of a friend—let’s just say Taeyong, you met him back in the house, right?”

“Yeah”

“Well we met because of him, we both had the same interests and we just clicked, easy as that”

You couldn’t stop the laugh that left your mouth when you heard those words. “You know we don’t have the same interests, right? No one will believe us”

“Well, then we can just improvise”

What’s the worst thing that could happen? It was a win-win situation at the end, you had the chance to travel for free to Paris and have a relaxing weekend with nothing to think about. Well, nothing besides the lies you had to come up with to make his parents believe both of you were deeply and madly in love. Feelings you were also unfamiliar with.

When you both arrived to the airport your palms were already sweaty. To think you had to stand in front of his father again made you want to throw up. There was a tight knot in your stomach and it didn’t help the fact that you already knew how harsh his words would be.

Doyoung helped you with your suitcase, as he only had a little bag on his back. “Why aren’t you bringing clothes?” you asked surprised. “I have a full closet there, don’t worry” he answered as if it was the most normal thing in the world. How much money did these people have?

He walked by your side with your suitcase. Both of you spotted his parents on the entrance of the airport, his father in a suit and his mother in a beautiful summer dress with black shades on. Doyoung’s fingers laced with yours and that simple move made your heart flutter in your chest.

“Good morning mom” he greeted her before turning to the other side, “father” he nodded his head at him. “Sweetie you have bags under your eyes, aren’t you sleeping well? Do you want me to call Dr. Jung to treat those dark circles?” his mother spoke worriedly. She preferred to treat those instead of asking him why wasn’t he been sleeping well?

“Good morning Y/N, it’s nice seeing you again” she was now directing her attention to you, a kind smile on your face. “Good morning Ms. Kim” you greeted back, smiling after Doyoung’s hand grasped harder at yours. “Mr. Kim” you also greeted his father, who didn’t even look at you. He really knew how to make someone feel awkward.

“Is the plane ready?” Doyoung asked.

“Yes, they’re all waiting for us” his mother spoke again. It looked like Mr. Kim wasn’t in the mood to have a conversation that morning. “Shall we?” she asked again, turning around and making her way inside the airport, closely followed by her husband.

“Are we late for the flight?” you asked worried. “No, the plane is waiting for us, don’t worry” he spoke with his head high. “I shouldn’t talk much with your father right? Looks like he’s not in the mood”

“He’s never in the mood” he scoffed, his hand still holding tight on yours. “So I should avoid him all weekend?”

“No, he won’t let you” he stopped suddenly, making you stop by his side. “Just don’t let his words get to you Y/N” his eyes were now focused on you. He was talking serious, way too serious for your liking. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you saw it back on the gallery, sometimes he can be a little—too direct with his words”

“You mean he can be rude” you let those words escape your mouth before your mind could proceed with them. Your eyes widened and so did his. What you didn’t expect was to hear him laugh loud at your words. “You’re right, he’s rude” he nodded before turning around. It calmed you to know at least he knew the truth about his father.

When Doyoung told you that the plane was waiting for you, you didn’t exactly expect it to be really waiting for you. His family’s private plane was ready to take off as everyone was taking their seats inside.

“Why are you so nervous Y/N? Is it your first time flying?” his mother asked you finally taking off her shades, a small smile on her face. You furrowed your eyebrows at her, did she really think that only rich people could fly around to other countries? “No—it’s not my first time, but I always get nervous” you tried convince her but she only nodded her head, the smile still on her face. It creeped you out a little that small smile? Why was she smiling?

There wasn’t much conversation to hold with them, and it really made you feel awkward to be sitting there in front of them. Doyoung was by your side, his hand still holding tight on yours as he was a reading a book. It seemed like he didn’t want to let you go, as if you would spill out the truth if he didn’t protect you in front of them.

“If you excuse me, I’ll be in the back resting” his father was the one who broke the silence that made you feel so uncomfortable once the plane had already taken off. He hadn’t said a single word to you ever since you met that same morning. He was a cold person, and his son was the same.

“So tell me Y/N, what do your parents do for a living?” his mother spoke calmly, her every word dragging the next one form her mouth. Doyoung’s eyes snapped up as if he knew what was coming next. “My mom is a painter and my dad’s a lawyer”. It wasn’t a lie that you felt small between both of them, their aura filling the whole place.

“A lawyer, that’s a good profession. Why did you decide to follow your mother’s steps?” she really looked interested in the topic. “Mom I think—“, “what’s wrong Doyoung? Is there something wrong with me asking about her parents?” she was quick the shut him out of the conversation, her once warm eyes now cold as stone. “No” he muttered before looking back down at his book.

“My parents have always taught me that I should do whatever makes my heart happy—whatever keeps me going in life, and I’ve never been interested in books, I would rather spend my free time drawing and painting instead of studying”

“But you still managed to enter the same university as Doyoung, that’s impressive” her words made you doubt about if that was a praise or she was just being sarcastic. “That’s because of the scholarship I got, I applied and they were impressed by my paintings” you tried to hold yourself together.

Doyoung’s hand was still tightly grasping at yours, his eyes clearly not focused on the words written in the book he was holding with his other hand. “You saw her painting of me, right mom? What do you think about it?” he intervened again, bothered to be left out of the conversation.

“It was good” she answered, “although you could clearly see it was the first time you painted a portrait, am I right?” her eyes moved quickly between you and Doyoung. “Well yeah- I don’t believe it’s good either”

“Why did you portray Doyoung that way though? It seemed like you didn’t know the person you were painting, it has nothing to do with our son” she remarked, making you think how you said those same things to Doyoung back at the gallery. All of her words were carefully chosen and that made you think that she was way more dangerous than his father.

“I painted it when we met” you simply answered, “we didn’t know each other that much yet, I just tried to portray his face, the feelings on that painting are not his”

“That’s what I thought” she finished saying, repositioning herself on the seat. Her shoulders relaxed as she moved her head to look out of the little window of the plane. “We’ve always tried our best to make Doyoung happy by giving him the best in life, it wouldn’t make sense if he was as miserable as you portrayed him in that painting”

Doyoung’s eyes were fixed on his mother, his mouth closed in a thin line. He was holding himself back to not answer something he would probably regret later on. The more time you spend around that family, the more you realized how fucked up they were.

You placed your other hand on top of his trying to calm him down, his attention moving away from his mother to be entirely focused on where your skin touched. It must’ve been hard to grow up for him, and your heart broke every time you thought about it.

Nothing much happened in the flight to Paris. His mother stayed in front of both of you all the time, so you couldn’t talk with Doyoung about anything either. It gave you time to think about the situation.

His parents were convinced they had raised a young happy man, when in reality he despised them. They were convinced Doyoung has had everything in life, when he was missing on the best part. It shocked you how much you realized from a single conversation with his mother and from what you’ve talked with him.

He had never had someone love him. He had never felt a motherly hug on a rainy day, or how it feels to have someone take care of you whenever you felt sick. He had never had that, and it saddened you to know that’s the reason why his heart was stone cold, or at least that’s what you thought.

Another thing that occurred to you is that, even if this plan turned out fine, would he be able to live without his parents support? Would be he able to make decisions on his own? After stealing a few glances of him concentrated on the book he was reading, you realized that behind that façade of a perfect man, whose life was all under control, there was a scared boy who didn’t know how to manage any of his life problems.

He has never had the chance to confront any difficulties in life. That could be good, but not at the extreme he was raised. He doesn’t know what humility is, for him is normal for own five houses in different countries and to have a plane that can take him around whenever he wanted. He was totally disconnected from reality.

Would he be able to confront the hard reality of what life is really like outside the perfect bubble his parents had built for him? Was this just a rebel action that he would regret the rest of his life?

You didn’t know what to think anymore. Everything was fine before stepping on that damn party, before Doyoung spilling his drink on your clothes. Everything was perfect for you. Damn you, Doyoung, the little voice in your head curse loudly.

“We will see you back home, honey” his mother said before entering one of the two cars that were waiting for you at the airport. “Why are they taking another car? I think there’s plenty of space for us there too—“

“They’re like that. They don’t like sharing a ride with strangers”

“Who’s coming then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well you said they didn’t like to ride with—“

“Oh, I was referring to you”

Your eyebrows shot up when you heard his words. “I thought—“, “they haven’t accepted you still Y/N, and that’s the plan”.

Entering the car you were still shocked because of what he had just said. “I thought you wanted to—“, “I want them to know that I will do whatever I want from now on, and that includes that I’ll date people who they don’t approve of, that’s why you’re here”

“So… my mission is to annoy your parents?”

His eyes got wider hearing those words, but he took a moment to think about it. “You could put it that way—yes” he answered titling his head to the side. “Why didn’t you say that before, I won’t hold back anymore then”

A smirk spread on his face while he was riding back to their house. “Don’t make a scene though” he commented, bringing back the words he has said to you thousand times before. You rolled your eyes at him, placing a hand on his shoulder, “if you really want to annoy them you have to let me make a scene, it won’t work if we play this game by their rules”

“What happened to you? Just hours ago you were nervous to step on a plane with my parents and now you want to make them go crazy on you?”

“I just don’t like when people think they’re better than everyone else just because they have money” you quickly answered, making him shut up. He knew better than anyone else that he behaved that way as well. Could he handle you, then?

The city was indeed beautiful. More than what you expected it to be. As Doyoung was driving down the road to his house, you just kept observing everything out of the window. It was a warm sunny day, the streets were filled with people and cars, every open place was a beautiful sight and so were all of the public gardens the city had.

A smile spread on your face when you realized that what people have been saying was all true. The city was awake. The city interacted with its citizens. The atmosphere of the place was way different from everywhere else you’ve been to before. You couldn’t help but feel your heart full of joy, full of happiness and love, just because you were on that city.

“Beautiful, right?” his voice stopped your train of thoughts, making you turn around and look at him. The sun made his dark hair shine and his skin look paler, but brighter. “I’ve never been in a city like this one before” you softly said, turning back to look out of the window. You wanted to memorize everything you could from it, just like you wanted to memorize the emotions you felt that very moment. You’ve never felt like his before.

“The first time I came to Paris was when I was ten years old” he started to speak again, but this time you didn’t take your eyes off of the sight in front of you, letting him talk while you kept observing. “I don’t know if it was because of the streets, the people… the ambience, but I felt like—“ he stopped, his eyes were looking straight at the road but you knew his mind was travelling back in time to when he was a young ten year old boy stepping for the first time here.

“I really felt like the city was awake” he said. Had he read your mind? Your head titled to the side to look at him again, briefly forgiving about the beautiful buildings you were passing by. “I felt like it was the city the one that marked the pace of people’s lives, not the other way around. It was the city who chose the people who were allowed to live in it… I know it’s a weird thought but I felt like that”

The smile that had spread on his face was a small one, but you knew it was sincere. “I know what you mean” you commented back as you turned around to keep looking at the landscape. “I don’t know what it is that this place has, but ever since we entered it I knew it was special”, it was a mere mumble coming out of your mouth but Doyoung managed to catch your every word, smiling at himself.

When you arrived to his house you couldn’t help but gasp at the big mansion that was staring back at you. It was all white house, with big beautiful blue roof, very Parisian. His parents’ car was already parked at the entrance, where he also parked his.

“If you want, we can get changed and go back downtown and I can show you a few places” he proposed as he was taking out your suitcase from the back of the car. “Wow—that’d be great” you couldn’t help but feel amazed by everything that was surrounding you, hoping that the way you were feeling lasted long until the weekend ended.

Having the great luck of not crossing paths with his parents inside of the big house, he led you to his room. It was no surprise how big it was. Also with white walls and tall ceilings, it had a minimal decoration, just like his room back in his frat house. “I hope you don’t mind if we sleep together, it would be weird if my parents knew that you’re sleeping in a different room—you know, since were a couple now” he laughed, making you relax a bit.

“No, that’s fine…” you answered walking around the big room.

You never knew all of the great places a city could have. You two had been walking around town for three hours. Nothing could wipe the big smile on your face and the surprised expression whenever Doyoung told you something about the history of the city.

He was also happy, or at least that’s what it looked like, you thought. He walked around with you showing you every place he could think of, talking to you about how the buildings were built, why there were so many public parks with such beautiful nature. It was the first time you felt like Doyoung was relaxed around you.

“Have you ever thought of living here?” you asked him as both of you were walking by the seine river with an ice cream in hand. He furrowed his brows, looking at the river by his side. “I have” his answer was honest, you were waiting for the reason why he wouldn’t do it. “But my parents wouldn’t let me—they say this city is not for me” he explained.

“That’s the reason? What does that even mean?” you asked confused and he laughed at your expression. “This city was made for dreamers, Y/N” he suddenly stopped to look at the shining river, painted in all warm colours because the sun was already setting down. “They say that I couldn’t live here because I have to focus on being successful in life and this city will make me lose my vision”

Instead of looking at the beautiful sight of the river in front of you, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. His tall body standing still, his head high and his eyes lost in all of the memories he had made every time he had come here. “You know” you spoke, your eyes still set on him, “my mom always says that people should do whatever makes their heart beat fast in their chest as if it’s dancing behind your ribs”, and he smiled at your words. “If the life you’re having right now doesn’t make you feel that way, Doyoung…”

“If we follow the same metaphor your mother said, I can say my heart dances to a slow beat when we’re back home…so, it’s not as bad as it seems” he answered, smiling back down at you. but it was a forced smile, the relaxed Doyoung you had seen all evening had disappeared with simple words, replacing him with the same Doyoung you met days ago in that frat party.

“I’m sorry for asking, I should have brought that up…”

“Don’t worry about it, really” he tried to reassure you. “Want to go back home? It’s getting late and I’m sure you’re tired”.

He told you to not worry about him, when his mood clearly changed from what you were accustomed to see all evening. It wasn’t like looking at the young free boy that led you around town to show you all of its secrets. Instead, in front of you was a young man whose face was emotionless, eyes cold and mouth closed. He didn’t show anything.

It was like you had reminded him that this wasn’t his life. And it would never be, not because he didn’t want it, but because he couldn’t have it. And you knew that was the first time Doyoung has wanted something that his parents couldn’t give him, and they didn’t want to give him.

They didn’t want to give him his freedom. And that’s what hurt him the most.

“Remember to not let my father��s words get to you” he reminded you as you both made your way to the dining room. “If you let me make a scene I’ll not let his words get to me” you smiled big at him, finally earning a laugh. He had been serious and silent ever since that conversation in front of the river just an hour ago. So, hearing that laugh again made you relax.

“I let you make a scene but if I think it’s too much I’ll stop you” he warned you at which you could only roll your eyes. “No one can stop me once I open my mouth” you said and his hand quickly caught your wrist, making you stop in front of him abruptly.

Suddenly he was close. Too close. He was looking down at you, his eyes piercing through your soul. He was still holding your wrist but you didn’t dare to move away. Something made you stop everything, just like it stopped the world revolving around you. “Behave” he warned again and this time you could feel his breathe closer, or did you imagine that?

Why was it that he could change personalities so fast? How did he do that? You kept asking yourself. “C’mon, they’re already waiting for us” he said passing by, letting your wrist finally free. What was that? Why did he—?

“Y/N?” He asked as he turned around to wait on you. “Yeah I’m sorry—“

Get yourself together Y/N! Your mission here is to annoy his parents, not to stand dumbfounded every time he does the thing!, but how did he managed to shut you up with one word only?

“Did you like Paris, Y/N?” his mother was the first to talk after dinner was served. You were still looking down at the table, why did they need so many cutlery? Three forks? For what? “Ah—yeah, it’s really a beautiful city” you tried to talk back to her but your mind was still panicking on which fork was the right one to use.

“We bought this house when Doyoung turned ten because we knew it would be a good place to bring him just to let him relax” she started to explain, and took the first fork on her right in order to eat her meal and you decided to copy her. Doyoung must’ve noticed your expression and how quickly you copied her movements because of the smile that slowly spread on his face as he watched you from the corner of his eye.

“But I think we’ll be selling it soon” his father’s voice made an appearance, making all of the eyes in the room set on him. Doyoung had a shocked expression on, his eyes wider than ever. “Why would you do that?” he asked. “Because we don’t need it anymore, you’re already a grown man who has to focus on the last of your studies and also the company” he spoke without looking up at his son. As if his words weren’t bullets that were directly shot at Doyoung’s chest.

“But—isn’t it too soon for me to enter the company?” his eyes were now between his father and his mother, who both had the same serious expression. “I was your age when your uncle and I first opened the company, so I don’t see where the problem is” the older man commented again.

“But I haven’t finished college yet and I planned on doing a master’s degree afterwards—“

“That’s too much time, I prefer you make mistakes in the company now while I can mend them for you” he answered, not paying any kind of attention at Doyoung’s face. “But if you’re so sure Doyoung will make mistakes why don’t you let him learn first and then work?” you were the one to speak now, interrupting the family conversation.

Doyoung’s hand quickly landed on top of your thigh as his eyes turned to look at you serious. He was telling you that it was not the best moment to make a scene, but your heart felt otherwise. “I mean—it’s obvious you don’t trust him enough to take the reins, why don’t you let him study hard and understand very well what he has to do” you tried to explain yourself since no one in the table seemed to understand why you spoke.

“Y/N, have you ever had a job?” that was the first time his father directed a word towards you that day. His elbows were now on the table, as his hands were folded before his face. “No sir but I—“

“Then, I suppose you have no idea what it takes to build a company out of nothing… wait that’s nonsense, you’re an art student, I’m sorry this conversation will not lead to anywhere—“ he smiled down at his plate as he kept eating.

Doyoung’s hand grasped at your thigh, signalling you that this was the time to shut up. “It’s true that I haven’t worked yet but my parents do, and they may have not have the amount of money this family has but I they made sure to teach me what hard work meant” you kept your head high as you spoke, your eyes still set on his father.

“Hard work? From an artist like your mom?” he scoffed, but that made your blood boil. “Yes, hard work, since she managed to keep pursuing her passion while raising me, and I can assure you that’s not something easy” you answered back, Doyoung’s hand grasping tightly on your thigh, but you were not about to lose against his father.

“She didn’t do a great job raising you, as we can see” he shot back, looking straight at you again. “Who sets the standard?” you asked back. “Well, a hopeless dreamer with no manners, what else could we expect from you? Doyoung, I really thought you had better taste in women” his father completely ignored your question, now attacking his own son.

“I believe this is enough” his mother intervened as she set down her glass of wine. The room went silent, and no one looked up from their plate. Doyoung still had his hand on your thigh, his eyes set on the table. You could clearly see he was scared of his father. He wouldn’t ever stand up for someone else in front of his father—hell, he wouldn’t even stand up for himself. You really did feel sorry for him.

“That was completely unappropriated” was the first thing you heard after entering Doyoung’s bedroom that night.

“What? Your father’s way to say that my mother is a failure? I believe the same”

“No—well yes, that wasn’t good either… but I’m talking about how you snapped back at him” he turned around to face you, his face was the same as the first time you met him. He was mad. “I thought you said—“

“I said I would stop you and I tried”

“Oh, you were stopping me? I thought you were just playing kinky” you tried to ease the conversation, knowing it would only lead to an argument. You walked pass him to enter the bathroom, but he followed you quickly around. “Don’t play stupid on me Y/N”

“Look Doyoung, maybe it was not my place to speak since it was a family matter but that matter changed once he decided to attack on my own family, which I will protect and stand up for every time someone tries to speak about them—you should take example from me instead of your parents, don’t you think?” you asked him before shutting the bathroom door.

Your hands were shaking and so were your legs. His wide eyes as you were saying that last thing was the only thing in your mind. You had shut him up. For the first time it was him, and not you, the one left speechless. Was he mad? Was he furious? You didn’t know, and you weren’t impatient to know either.

Looking at your reflection on the mirror you were happy to see the brave girl you once were to come back to life. You didn’t regret anything you said tonight. They will see who you are truly, and maybe you could help Doyoung. One way or another, he could learn something from you, and maybe finally setting free from the chains his parents had set on him.

Your hands itched with the need to pick up a brush and fill a blank canvas with all of the emotions you were feeling on the inside. That’s something your mother had taught you, every time you felt overwhelmed, the best you could do was to paint and leave all of your emotions there, not thinking about it anymore.

But you didn’t have brushes nor a canvas with you, so you were left with the storm of thoughts and feelings on the inside, making your hands still shake as you finally exited the bathroom. The room was dark, the only source of light were the lights of the backyard that entered the room softly, falling upon Doyoung’s body which was already on the bed.

His forearm was above covering his eyes and his other hand was laying on his chest. His chest rose and fell with a slow rhythm, making you believe he was asleep. His body looked relaxed, and you prayed it was that way.

You slow let your body lay down next to him, trying to keep the distance between you two. It was uncomfortable to sleep on your back as you were used to sleep in all kind of positions, but never on your back. With a sigh you moved around and finally positioned yourself on your side looking at Doyoung.

“What is your favourite colour?” his voice came out almost inaudible, barely above a whisper. Your eyes opened wide as you looked at his face, which was still covered by his forearm. You didn’t expect him to ask you that, but for some weird reason it made your heart beat faster than before.

“Green” you whispered back.

“Why”

“It relaxes me, it makes me feel safe. All of my paintings when I was little were based on the colour green. It is also the colour I imagine every time I feel anxious and it helps me calm down”

You explained, at which he didn’t question back. “Why is your favourite colour black?” you were the one asking this time. “Because it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just the mix of everything else you have in the colour scheme—it’s turbulent and chaotic”

The thought of him being mad at you quickly disappeared because of the tone of his voice. It was not strict, or serious. He was just talking and explaining just like he had done that evening while both of you walked around the streets of Paris.

“I apologize for what happened before” he softly said again, finally moving his forearm away from his eyes, but he kept them closed. “I will try to stand up for you next time something like this happens”

“Doyoung—“

“You were right Y/N, that’s something I can learn from you”

Much to your surprise hours passed by in a rush when you were with Doyoung. You both spent the whole Saturday out of the house, away from the hot tension that had built up into the house where his parents where. You didn’t know why, but after that brief conversation with Doyoung the night prior, it felt like everything that had happened before was just a bad dream.

None of you mentioned the argument that led him to confess how he felt towards your move on his parents, and you were grateful for it. Maybe he wasn’t that bad after all, right? The one thing that you noticed is that he acted differently around his parents and away from all of the pressure they put him through. When he was only with you his mood was lighter, he laughed regularly at your remarks and sometimes at your jokes, but the best thing out of everything is that he let himself go.

The controlling aura he thought he must have all the time because of his father, slowly but steadily fell off during that Saturday, being replaced by the image of a simple boy who was enjoying his day out. And you loved every second of it.

“If you had a little bit of knowledge about art you would know the story behind the Giaconda!” you argued with him after you both exited The Louvre. “Then what’s the story behind it, miss i-know-it-all?” he asked making you furrow your eyebrows at the nickname he decided to use on you ever since you both entered the museum.

“As you already know Leonardo painted it back in 1500, but he never considered it to be complete and that’s why he never gave it to his commissioner” you started to speak as you were both already walking again side by side next to the sienna river. “Why?” he asked confused. “That’s the mystery that revolves around the painting” you responded with a smirk on your face.

“It is still not known who the person portrayed on the painting is, but there are a lot of great theories about it. Some say it corresponds to Lisa Gherardini, being her the second wife of Franceso del Giocondo, but there are far more interesting theories than this one” you spoke freely, being this topic one of the many you’ve had to write about in college.

His eyes were truly interested in every word you said, listening closely to your explanation. “There is a theory according to which the subject is Leonardo himself, there are a lot of similarities between the painting and the his face and that would also explain why he never gave it out to the commissioner”

“Well that’s an interesting one, I’ve never heard about it. But everything you’re saying are just theories, right?”

“Well yes, the reason why the painting is so popular is because of the mystery that holds, the smile, the eyes—everything behind it creates an aura of an enigma around it” you spoke quietly now, as your walk slowed down. “I believe with people happens the same”

He completely stopped to look at you with narrowed eyes. “How’s that?”

“We’re often attracted to people whose aura it’s just like that because our need of knowledge about them is too powerful, what are they hiding? Why are they hiding? Who are they hiding it from?” you kept on explaining looking straight at the beautiful sight of the river in front of you. “But sometimes the disappointment behind all of that mystery is bigger than the challenge itself, that’s why people should be careful on who they choose to approach… and it’s not always easy to identify the signs”

The soft wind blowing made the landscape in front of you even more gorgeous to look at. You knew that you had to return back to Paris someday, and give this dreamer’s city a try. Doyoung stepped to stand by your side, his eyes glued to your face.

“Were you attracted to me because of that?”

That simple question made your blood freeze in your veins. It was in that moment when you realized how close he was standing to you, and you were not brave enough to turn around and face him. “Who ever said I was attracted to you?”

There you were again. Running away from the situation, like a coward. But now it was different. It was not Xiaojun, and you were not sure if you were attracted to him or not. Maybe he was right, maybe he was not. But there was something you couldn’t deny, ever since the first day he entered your mind and decided to stay.

“Your reactions to me did” he answered quickly.

“Doyoung I don’t know what—“

“That’s why you painted that portrait” he stopped you again, and you just couldn’t help but look up at him. His eyes had turned back to being cold. “Because you thought that if you painted me… you could just live by the fake image you could build up about me… you were too scared to approach the mystery so you decided to create the answer behind it yourself” he spoke quietly, as if he had thought about the topic for days. But it couldn’t be.

“I don’t—“

“Just accept it” he pushed once again. His right hand fell on the lower part of your back as he made you turn around to completely face him. This wasn’t good, he was way too close. Your bodies were way too close. “Just accept it that you couldn’t stop thinking about me ever since the day we met” he repeated.

You could just accept it and risk it. You could just be honest to him, and to yourself, for once. But was it worth it? Your mind was running wild but his hand was still holding you still in front of him. He wouldn’t back out, and you knew it. His father had shown him to stay strong and confront the situation, something you have always avoided.

Maybe you could learn something from him too.

“I can’t accept a lie” you lied yourself.

His hand immediately fell from his place and you missed it before a second even had passed. You held your breath as he held your gaze. Something changed. His aura changed. Did you ruin it? Probably. Why did you do it? You had no idea. It was your first instinct, to not show him your true emotions. Why?

Because you were scared. Who has felt that way before towards a stranger who they had met in a frat party? That’s just madness. It couldn’t be true. Could it? Then why was he right? How did he know you couldn’t stop thinking about him? Why was this situations so cruel for you?

Closing his eyes for a brief moment he opened them again. “I apologize” he softly said. You had lost the young free Doyoung you had spent the day with, and now you were greeted by the narcissistic rich man Doyoung, someone you hated. “I won’t bring that up again, it was a mistake. Please just—forget about it” he finally added before stepping to the side, making his way back to the car.

Your mouth fell open ready to call him out to stop walking, ready to let him read you like a book, just like he has been doing all this time without you even realizing it. But it was too late. You had lost him, and you didn’t know if you could bring back the real Doyoung from the shadows.

No more words were shared between you and Doyoung after that last ones in front of the river. You felt uneasy about it, and thought deeply on how to mend your own error but nothing seemed good enough, at least not for him. It wasn’t easy to deal with Doyoung, you never knew what he was thinking or which would be his next move, it was impossible to catch him off guard.

“I know we’ve avoided my parents today and I’m sure they’re pissed off because of that” he said just as he parked the car in front of his house. “If last night’s topic comes up again please… don’t intervene, Y/N” he asked sincerely looking at you in the eyes. It looked like he wanted to deal with this by himself, but would he be able to do so?

What you noticed last night is that he was afraid of sharing his opinion about the important matters with his parents. That’s why they always took every possible chance to decide on his future, because he was too scared to say no. But, could you blame him?

“If not—please…” he spoke again, just as you thought he had finished. “If you get the chance, please make a scene”. You could catch a small smile on his mouth but it didn’t reach his sad eyes. “I’ll try my best” was the only thing you could answer.

“Aren’t you coming?” he asked as you stopped yourself from following him inside of the house. “I want to take a moment—I’ll see you in a minute” you tried to smile but all you needed was some time alone, without Doyoung’s strong presence around you that didn’t let you think properly.

The sun was setting down and the colour scheme reflected on the house’s façade was truly beautiful. It calmed you down to look at all the warm colours, but it also reminded you on how tonight was the last night you could help Doyoung. And you couldn’t do it only “making a scene”, like he said. There was more to it.

“I thought you were already inside with Doyoung, I understand you both had a nice day today, right?” his mother’s voice made you turn around abruptly. Where did she come from? “Yes, we’re a bit tired after all the walking around” you tried to smile politely at her, but you knew she was the worst of them all.

She walked slowly to stand by your side and also look at the colourful view in front of you. “I don’t know where you appeared from Y/N, but I know you won’t be staying for a long time” she spoke but her mouth barely moved. “Ms. Kim I don’t think—“

“Please hear me out” she started again, this time turning to smile at you. It was almost a kind smile, a smile that a mother would give lovingly to her child. Doyoung was right, he was used to fake feelings because that’s everything he knew. “When we return back home, you will leave Doyoung’s side and never look out for him again”

Out of everything this was the last thing you thought you’d hear. “You are both clearly from different worlds, and we both know Doyoung can do way better than you, at least that’s what he deserves”. You never thought it would hurt that much to hear those words.

“This is not a threat Y/N, it’s a warning. If you want to do him good, leave him alone once we return back home” she smiled one last time before taking a step forward to leave your side. “I won’t” faintly slid from your mouth, making her stop.

“Excuse me?”

“I want to do him good that’s the reason why I won’t leave him alone” the words left your mouth so fast your mind didn’t even proceed them. “You will regret what you just said” she responded and continued to walk towards the house. The beautiful colours you were admiring moments ago were already gone, leaving everything into the dark.

Maybe she was right. Maybe you were sacrificing too much just to help him. To help a stranger.

The sound of the door closing behind you made Doyoung snap his eyes open. He was laying down on the bed, waiting for you. “I already thought you ran away back to the museum” he joked but you couldn’t even smile back at him. You didn’t know why his mother’s words affected you so much. “Doyoung, do you think this is the best for you?” you asked making his eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“The best for me?”

“I mean—you’ve always had them decide for you, do you really believe you’re ready to take action on your own?” you asked him stepping to stand in front of him. He quickly sat up on the bed, his head titling up to look at you. “Where’s this coming from?”

“I was just thinking that…maybe they do want the best for you, that’s why their making their best to teach you about the company and…setting you up with different girls” you explained, unable to even look at him in the eyes. You couldn’t believe yourself. “I thought you were against all of that? Y/N what—“

“Maybe you get lucky and one of those girls is actually someone good to you… someone good for you”

“You want to stop this?”

“All I’m saying is that you should think it through… really think about it”

He stood up to stand tall in front of you, but once again close. Your eyes were set on his neck, unable to look up at him. “I’ve made the decision Y/N, if you don’t want to help me on this one I understand, I told you from the start that I won’t push you into doing things you don’t want to. But this is something I’ve lived with all my life, and I think it’s time for a change”.

You finally looked up at him, just to see the same person you once painted.

Doyoung sat by your side once again on the dining table. His father and mother were sitting across from you, both with stoic expressions on. No one dared to talk while waiting for the food to arrive. The look on his mother’s eyes was mortifying, and you knew it was all because of your answer back. Thinking about the positive side of the situation, you’ve already taken the first step on helping Doyoung out while talking with his mother.

“What do you plan on doing after college, Y/N?” to your surprise it was his father the on to start the conversation this time. That question took you aback, you actually had no idea what you wanted to do after college. “I want to travel” you chose on taking the easy way tonight. His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Well that’s nice, but don’t you have a plan? I mean…if you and Doyoung are still together it won’t be good if you leave to travel around the globe while he’s working and paying for all of that, right?”

“I never said Doyoung would be the one paying”

“That’s impressive then, how do you plan on doing it?” he scoffed, his hands folded in front of his face. “I plan on working while studying and save as much as I can, then leave everything and go”

“Leave everything and go? That’s risky, I believe only brave people can do that” his mother was the one to talk now.

“I think it’s a good plan” Doyoung spoke suddenly, which you didn’t expect at all. “It’s a waste of time, you can always do that once you have your life sorted out and you have a stable economic background to do so without worries” his father answered back looking at Doyoung.

He quickly shut up after hearing that. “Anyways, I also plan on opening my own store and with some luck, my own gallery” you tried to move on with the conversation. Doyoung had the guts to answer one time to his parents, but never twice. “Oh a gallery? That’s nice, but you need a good fund to start with” his mother smiled again, and you knew that one smile wasn’t a kind one.

“Everything can be done if I work hard enough”, you were not letting them win this one. “It will only be successful if the paintings are good—if you plan on doing that with portraits like the one you exposed in our gallery, well…”

His father’s eyes were determined on finishing you on this one last dinner.

“You didn’t like it? Then why did you try to buy it?” you asked with a curious look on your face.

“Because Doyoung was impressed by it, and I thought it would be nice if I bought it for him, even if I didn’t like it”

“I didn’t know you did things like that for your son, most times you don’t think if he would like what you have for him or not” you quickly snapped back, and Doyoung’s hand was back on your thigh trying to stop you. “We always think about his likings and well-being” his mother was the one to answer now.

“Really? Was that your intention when you were trying to set him up with all kind of rich girls? I thought it was because you didn’t want him to be around people with less money than him, you know… from different worlds”

The room fell silent after your last statement. “I won’t let you disrespect us like this in our own home” his father’s tone of voice changed completely. It frightened you now. Did you cross the line? “Father please—“

“We all have different opinions about the topic, I believe I haven’t disrespected anyone now”, you tried to keep yourself calm. “You can state your opinion as long as it’s not attacking us directly” his mother responded.

“This only show’s how little you know your son, and it’s sad” you made them shut up, Doyoung’s hand still on your thigh, but you weren’t going to stop now. “You will never know the amazing young boy he is because you’ve forced him to grow up as a man too fast. He has never had a free childhood, he has never had the chance on making memories with his friends as a normal kid, because of you”

“Y/N—“Doyoung tried to stop you.

“I know that maybe I’m not here for the long run, but while I’m here I will support him on doing everything he wants to do and I won’t impose him my own decisions, just like you, as his parents, have done all of his life” you finally said, standing up and stomping out of the room. Yes, maybe you did cross the line. But you couldn’t stop.

The anger that had built inside of your chest was too much to handle anymore. You had to let it out. The room you shared with Doyoung suddenly felt small and the air in it didn’t feel enough.

“What was that?!” he entered, harshly closing the door behind him. “What?! Me defending you in front of your parents?!” you answered back with the same tone. You were not having it anymore, you’ve let him guide this game you were both playing, but it was time to change the rhythm.

“I tried to stop you but you kept talking shit Y/N!”

“I kept—?! I only said what you’ve been thinking your whole life Doyoung! I had the courage to do it”

“Because you don’t know a damn thing!”

“What is wrong with you?! You asked me to do this!”

His fists were tightly clenching on his side. “Why are you so afraid of everything, Doyoung?” you asked him after getting no response. His eyes were lost again, and you moved forward to be closer to him. The scoff that he let out took you by surprise. “I believe you’re not the right one to talk about being scared of confronting the situations”

“I confronted your parents, something you haven’t done in your whole life”

“Yes, because you haven’t lived with them Y/N!” He snapped back, his eyes getting glossy with tears. “You have had a simple and slow life Y/N, you don’t know what it feels like to be constantly thrown around to learn things you don’t need just because you could be judged by other people! You don’t know what it feels like to grow up lonely, because you had no time on making friends, or just because your friends were like every other rich old man! You don’t know what is like to grow up without being loved!”

His words were harsh on you but he didn’t plan on stopping. “I don’t know what love is Y/N, I haven’t received that from anyone in this world, not even my parents! But you know what? At the end of the day they’re everything I have, and if I push them completely away from me I would lose it all, do you comprehend the situation now Y/N?”

He was leaving you speechless. Of course you hadn’t imagined the situation from his perspective. You were just a selfish person who thought that making a scene like that one would be something heroic. You had definitely crossed the line.

“Doyoung I’m—“

“No, don’t tell me you’re sorry!” he stopped you, taking a seat on the bed. His head was on his hands, covering his face, but he was still holding back his tears. You didn’t know how to react, nor what to do.

“You know what I’ve learned after all this years, Y/N?” he asked. He looked up at you, his eyes red, but no tears were seen. “That you need a lot of courage to let yourself be loved”. Those words hit you right in the chest, and you were not ready to receive the bullets. “A courage that can almost be heroic”

You knew he was talking directly about you. He had turned the tables. He had change the game after reading your mind. He was unconsciously trying to win. “Most people can’t give nor receive love because they’re cowards, Y/N. Because they’re scared of failure. Like you.”

Your lower lip was already quivering, but you had to stay strong. “You’re ashamed to open yourself to another person or surrender to them because you’re scared that they will discover your secret” he scoffed after that line, “the saddest secret that every human being has inside of them: that you can’t live without love. Everyone is afraid of that.”

You took a step closer to him and stood in front of him. His head was still between his hands.

You hated it. You hated the situation, you hated his words and you hated him. Your only argument was that he was right. He had caught you from the start, he had seen what’s behind your eyes from the very first moment, that’s why he knew how to behave around you.

You took his chin with your finger to make him look up at you. “I accept it” was the only thing you said. His eyes trailed up your body to finally meet with your eyes. “I accept the fact that I wasn’t able to stop thinking about you ever since I met you”

His eyes were shining, but no emotions were shown. With a deep sigh you decided to risk it all. You’ve been running away for too long now, you’ve been a coward all of your life. And you wanted to prove him wrong.

Moving forward you placed one leg on each side of his waist, sitting down on his lap. His hands fell automatically on your waist, as if they’ve been there all of his life. You were still holding his face between your hands, but he didn’t give any sign of wanting to move away. “Everything you said…you’re right” you whispered.

Both of your faces were too close. With a simple movement you could finally kiss him. That’s when you realized for how long you’ve longed that feeling. His eyes moved from your eyes to your lips constantly, but he wouldn’t move. “You’ll stop being a coward?” he asked, directly daring you to be the one taking the first step.

In a heartbeat you moved forward to let your lips fall on top of his. You didn’t know if it was because of all the rage you both had inside, but it wasn’t a soft nor tender kiss. It was hard, full of passion and… hurt? His hands moved quickly, making you move closer to him, totally closing the gap between you two.

His hold was tight, as if he was afraid you’d run away now. You could barely breathe while kissing him because of the hurry he had on savouring every moment. He made sure you knew whose breath you were breathing, where you belonged.

Your hands were tangled in the back of his head. You’ve never felt like this making out with anyone before. He made your body move on top of his while his fingers were moving up and down your back.

His mouth moved from yours to start kissing your neck. His body was pressed even harder against yours as you were still on top of him, making you feel his chest against yours and his back muscles with your own hands.

You could feel his dick grow hard through his pants. Not wanting to waste any more time he turned you around to let you fall on the bed, him positioning himself on top of you. You were already feeling too aroused just by making out with him. His eyes were closed as he slowly made his way down your neck, making you stand up to take off your shirt, quickly followed by your pants.

His hands were running up and down your legs, but his eyes still closed. As he took off your panties you knew you were already soaked, and with a simple peck on your pussy your legs trembled. It would be too much to handle if you let him indulge there.

Taking his head with your hands you made him finally look up to you, crashing your lips again against one another. His clothes were quick to follow behind yours, as both of you laid down naked, both of your bodies completely glued to one another.

Without a word being said you both only maintained the eye contact, and that was more than enough for you. He slowly slip into you, but steadily found the rhythm. Every powerful thrust inside of you pushed the headboard of the bed hard against the wall. The pain at the beginning was undeniable, but the pleasure of him being inside of you felt too good.

The sound of the wetness of your centre and the heavy grunts and breaths were the only thing that filled the room, his eyes never leaving yours. You didn’t know what he did to you, but you had never felt like this before.

One of his hands moved to rise more one of your legs, getting a better angle, and as much as you hated it you knew it wouldn’t be long before he threw you over the edge. “Doyoung—“

But he shut you up by crashing his lips once again against yours, also muffling your cry out after reaching your climax.

Both of your chests were rising and falling with deep breaths. He was still on top of you, and your hands were caressing the back of his neck. A thin layer of sweat was covering both of your bodies but you didn’t want him to move away, ever.

Suddenly, the heavy breathing turned into a soft sob. He didn’t dare to look up, but you could feel the wetness of his tears on your neck. All of his muscles were tense, and you could feel that he couldn’t hold back anymore.

Hugging him even tightly you kissed the top of his head as you let him rest there on top of you, letting all of his emotions pour out of his eyes in form of tears. “I’m here Doyoung” you whispered to calm him down, but you also knew he needed to let everything out.

“I’m here for you”

With your every word his tears fell down harder, his hands holding you tightly. He was scared. He also took the risk by opening up to you, and now he was scared you’d be the one to leave.

None of you talked about what had happened the night prior when you both woke up the next day, naked and tangled in each other’s arms and legs. He wasn’t distant, but you knew his mind was somewhere else, concentrated on something else.

“We’re going back home today” he announced still in bed, his forearm covering his eyes, at which you could only nod with your head still resting on top of his chest. “What will you do when you go back?” he asked, but nothing was clear now. You didn’t expect this to happen. “I don’ know”, he smiled at your words but didn’t respond.

It would be a lie if you said your head wasn’t a mess. The flight back home was filled with silence. Doyoung was once again reading one of his books, with his right hand tightly grasping at yours. You didn’t know what would happen from now on, but you also didn’t want to overthink it. You both had finally found someone who you could open up to, but was it that easy?

He didn’t mention anything about it either, making you feel uneasy inside, but you also didn’t want to pressure him. The frustration inside was growing fast but you couldn’t let it win, not now that you’d found him.

But just when you thought you’ve found him. He was gone.

I still don’t know how to react to everything that happened this weekend, I can only say I’m sorry. I’ve felt neglected my whole life and you were the one that opened my eyes completely, Y/N. You don’t even know how grateful I am for you.

After I left you in your house on Sunday I couldn’t sleep that night. Everything felt different for me, as if you had changed my point of view. There were a million thoughts racing in my mind, and they all had one thing in common: you.

But I know I cannot be the man that you need by your side right now, in this moment. That’s why I’m sorry. I still have a long way to run before I reach you. You’ve managed to show me, in such a short amount of time, that I should do whatever makes my heart dance inside of my chest. And we both know that my life was miserable here. But I’m trying to change.

That’s why I’m turning back to Paris. My parents weren’t happy about it, of course. But I promised them I would work for the company from there, and at the same time I’ll focus on finding my own true passions. My own path in life.

I know this sounds selfish. And it is. And I’m sorry about it. But I also feel like this is my only way to grow up as a person, and as the man you deserve to have by your side.

I’ve never told you this but…you’re the first girl that makes me cry. I’ll never forget that, hope you don’t either.

I can’t ask you to wait for me, and I won’t. That’d be crossing the line and making you suffer even more (this is not easy for me either), but I hope you forever remember me and that night we shared. I hope you forever remember that I gave you my heart there. And I don’t plan on getting it back.

I also returned you the portrait. I hope the day we meet again I don’t look like it anymore. I hope you can portray me again, but this time as my true self. As someone happy and confident, someone who has succeeded in life on his own way. I hope you feel proud the day you do it. I really do.

You are a brilliant person Y/N. I have never met anyone like you. And I know you will go far in life. Please, don’t forget about me. Please, think about me. Please, don’t let me die in your memory.

I’ll be waiting for you, forever, in the dreamer’s city.

You both lived in different worlds. You both had different views of life. But sometimes those things are the ones that bring people together. Doyoung reaching out for you to help him will completely change your life—something you didn’t expect to happen. And you helping him out will completely open his eyes to what the real world looked like, what the world outside of all the money and luxury he was accustomed to was. Maybe you both could learn something from one another in this journey to the dreamer’s city.

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