#it gives me distressing thoughts 24/7

[fandomgirlz01]

You Matter Most  Pt. 1

Evan “Buck” Buckley X reader

Imagine on my fandom instagram?: No

Prompt?: No

Request?: No

Requested prompt?: No

Edited: Yes

Word count: 5,677 

Ko-fi

Masterlist

Warnings here

You can listen to the story be read out loud here.

Post Date: August 24th 2023

Post Time: 10:41 PM

Summary: When a series of freeway accidents lead to a big catastrophe, Buck must worry for his team as he rushes to help them all before it only leads to  an even bigger disaster. All while working on helping his team he worries mostly for his best friend who’s unconscious for most of it. 

Third Person Pov:

“May-day! May-day! Air ambulance two reporting a collapse at the 710 interchange. Firefighters down. Repeat, firefighters down!” A voice comes through Maddie’s coms, making her quickly answer the distress call. 

“Air ambulance two, this is dispatch. Can you reroute to assist?” Maddie asks before pausing, waiting to get an answer. 

“Negative. We have a priority spinal transfer,” the voice solemnly tells her. 

“Do you have a visual on how many firefighters are down?” Maddie asks and there’s a long pause as she waits for the information. 

“All of them— the entire 118. They were on the upper span when it collapsed. They all went down,” the voice tells her in a very worried tone and Maddie’s heart drops. 

Her mind immediately goes to thoughts of her fiancé, brother, and sister-like friend, worried for all three. Her heart beats wildly and suddenly she can hear it in her ears as she types up details on her computer. Tears cloud her eyes for a moment and she tries to will herself not to cry just yet. 

Y/n’s Pov:

I groan as my alarm goes off and roll over onto my back to look at the ceiling. It takes me a few minutes, but soon I’m reaching over to my phone and turning it off. With one last sigh, I push myself up from my bed and start to get ready for the long shift I have to work. 

Once I’m ready, I grab my backpack as well as my morning hot cocoa and keys. I quickly make my way out into the hallway of the complex and lock my door. Just as I lock the bottom lock, I hear Buck’s door open and shut. 

I turn to him and let out a giggle when I see the pure exhaustion on his face. He locks up his door before turning when I giggle and he smiles. 

“You must have had a lousy night, E. You really look exhausted,” I say, using the nickname I’ve had for him forever with humor laced in my tone. 

“Ugh, not exhaustion. More annoyance at the two idiots that won’t make up,” he replies with a roll of his eyes before we both start walking out. 

“I’m sure they’ll make up soon, bubs. Just give it a little more time,” I try to reassure him and he hums, shaking his head at me. 

“Sure. Then maybe I won’t have to deal with Kamron needing me 24/7. Or the smell of pickles. She keeps needing me to open them. Never did I think I’d hate pickles,” he rants with a roll of his eyes and I giggle again. 

“You definitely won’t and I’m sure you’ll like pickles again soon,” I joke with him as I playfully hit my arm against his. 

“Anyway, wanna carpool to work today?” he questions me, now changing the subject. 

“Sure, why not. Anything to hang out with you a little more,” I joke as I bump my arm into his again and he shakes his head, chuckling. 

“As if we don’t already hang out everyday,” he playfully scoffs and I shrug. 

“No, we definitely don’t,” I playfully deny and he chuckles, shaking his head. 

“Ok, dork. Let’s go. Bobby will kill us if we’re late. Again,” he remarks and I giggle. 

“You got that right,” I agree with him as I roll my eyes while we walk out to his car. 

“Breakfast on the way?” he asks and I smirk. 

“You buying?” I ask him with a raised eyebrow and he groans. 

“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t,” he playfully growls out like he’s angry when I know he indeed isn’t. 

“Then hell yeah. I'm hungry,” I tell him and he groans. 

“Don’t be like Kameron now,” he says as he rolls his eyes and I laugh. 

“What, pregnant? E, I don’t know if you know how that works, but I kinda need to have some relations before that, and you know I’m not seeing anyone right now…” I playfully tell him and he shakes his head. 

“Of course I know how that works? You know I didn’t mean that. I mean, I was a sex addict, remember?” he asks and I giggle, letting my eyes go wide jokingly. 

“Oh I vividly remember, Mr. Do it on the rooftop of the firehouse. Dumbass,” I joke as I smack his arm and he rubs it. 

“Well, what would you have done?!” he fights back and I laugh. 

“Not on the rooftop, that’s for sure,” I joke back and he rolls his eyes. 

“Whatever. Let’s just get the food and get to work,” he tells me and I giggle. 

“Awe, E, I’m just messing with you!” I inform him and he shakes his head. 

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go, you Gremlin,” he tells me and I giggle, smiling softly at the use of my nickname Buck had given me when we were younger before we split up to get into his Jeep.

“Okay, 118, let’s gather ‘round and settle in. We have some outstanding tasks from our last shift and I’ve got an important announcement about our upcoming weather conditions,” Bobby announces, making me and Buck, who's up on the truck, sit down with our legs hanging off the side. 

“So cute, huh? Oh, wait. I promised her I’d wear it all day. Take a picture so we can…” Chimney talks with one of the other firefighters as they walk out of the locker room. 

“Firefighter Han,” Bobby calls out, cutting Chim off and making him look up from the play ring on his finger. 

“I was gonna save this until the end, but why not make it the first order of business? Congratulations on popping the question,” Bobby announces as he uses his clipboard to point at Howard. 

“Yeah, Chim! Whoo, whoo!” I shout out as everyone else claps while I shake Buck. 

“Ok… ok… a little less shaking, there,” Buck comments as he pushes me lightly, making me giggle softly. 

“Didn’t she do the proposing?” I quietly whisper to Buck, who chortles and nods. 

“She finally made an honest man out of him!” Ravi shouts as he grabs Chimney by the shoulder and shakes him lightly. 

“All right, everybody. Let’s settle down. We still have to get to the weather update,” Bobby calls out and all the laughs die down. 

“All right, apparatus maintenance. Firefighter Diaz will be running point this morning on engine service. We’ll be doing an oil change and a brake fluid change,” Bobby explains as I yawn lightly and lay my head on Buck’s shoulder. 

“Tired?” Buck quietly questions me and I hum at him. 

“Didn’t sleep too well last night. Tossed and turned all night. Don’t know why, just had a weird feeling,” I whisper back to him and he smiles softly before wrapping his arm around my shoulder. 

“Hmm, comfy,” I mummer out as I cuddle in closer and he chuckles softly. 

“Eddie?” Bobby calls out, making us all listen in. “Yeah, cap?” Eddie asks nonchalantly as he looks at his phone. 

“Did Eddie finally find someone?” I quietly question Buck, who shrugs. 

“He didn’t say anything to me if he did,” Buck informs me and I sigh. 

“Then why’s he staring at his phone like a lovesick puppy?” I query and Buck gives a small ‘huh,’ before shrugging. 

“I guess maybe he did. He’ll tell us when he’s ready,” Buck comments to me and I cross my arms. 

“I wanna know now. We’re the three musketeers. Two musketeers can’t just be left in the dust by the other,” I whisper as I cross my arms, pouting and Buck chuckles. 

“You and that impatient ass of yours,” Buck comments and I give him a playful smirk. 

“And you like this ass of mine,” I joke with him, wiggling my eyebrows at him and he shakes his head. 

“Can’t say I don’t,” he plays right back and I giggle before we both turn back to listen in. 

“Apparatus maintenance,” Bobby pointedly comments as Eddie moves into a different sitting position while closing his phone. 

“I’m on it, Cap,” Eddie promises and Bobby nods as Buck’s phone vibrates. 

He quickly silences his phone, but it vibrates again and again. He groans quietly and presses the answer button. 

“Okay. All right, now for the weather update,” Bobby starts as Buck puts the phone up to his ear. 

“Uh, hey, listen, I-I can’t… I can’t talk right now. No, I can’t. Kameron, I don’t know why he’s calling you. Maybe if you answer the phone you’ll find…” Buck talks into the phone and I smirk as Bobby turns around. 

Booby walks over to us on the truck and looks up at us. He gives me an irritated questioning look and I just shrug, making him look at Buck, who trails off. 

“You're in trouble…” I jokingly mutter out as I try to hold in my giggles while poking his side lightly. 

“Umm, I got to go,” Buck tells her and I hold back a giggle at his ‘oops’ tone before hanging the phone up. 

“Uh- s-sor… sorry, Cap. Um…” Buck stutters out his apology, but Bobby just ignores him and turns back around. 

“Alright, folks, listen up,” Bobby again tries to get to the point. 

“Uh, Cap?” Ravi questions, holding his hand up and Bobby gives him an unamused look that tells him to go on. 

“Can I just say, if Buck needs to get the pregnant lady out of his apartment,” Ravi starts and Buck hops down off the truck before turning to me to help me down real quick. 

“I do have a two-bedroom that’s about to be on the market, so…” Ravi finishes as Buck and I walk towards him. 

“Thank you, Ravi! Maybe a discussion for another time,” Bobby humorously chides as everyone laughs a little bit. 

“118, it’s time to dial it in,” Bobby starts to try and corral us in again. 

“We have a Job to do, but in order to do that job, you have to be here. I need precision, I need focus, but most of all, I need you to be present,” Bobby pointedly announces as Hen cautiously walks in and around him to take a seat. 

“Sorry I’m late, Cap,” Hen quickly apologizes as she sighs. 

“Okay! Let’s get cracking,” Bobby finishes before starting to walk off. 

“Hey, wait. What’s the important weather update?” Chimney asks as Bobby walks past him. 

“There’s a moderate marine layer,” Bobby answers, unamused as he continues to walk away. 

“I’ll see you for lunch?” Buck questions and I nod in confirmation. 

“Yeah. That is, if we don’t get a call before then,” I promise him with a small smile. 

“Don’t jinx it,” Buck jokes, pointing at me with a chuckle. 

“Ok. I’ll see you in a-” I start, but the alarm sounds and Buck groans. 

“You jinxed it!” he shouts, throwing his hands up and I giggle. 

“My bad…” I reply with a shrug and he shakes his head. 

“Come on, dork. Let’s get into our gear,” Buck tells me with a grin. 

We both rush over to our lockers and start to put our gear on before running over to the truck. Buck hops in on the left side as I hop in on the right and we get into our seats as Bobby starts to pull out of the garage. Bobby drives throughout town before coming up to the scene on the bridge. Once the engine comes to a stop, we all quickly pile out and get to work. 

“Hen, Chem. Check the driver of this camper van,” Bobby orders as he points to the van. 

“Buck, y/n Eddie, Ravi, I want you guys to check these surrounding vehicles for injuries. Let’s go,” Bobby commands and we all give him a nod before rushing off. 

Buck, Ravi and I walk around, making sure there's no more injuries. Once we deem there are none, we walk back over to help. We stand back as Chimney and Hen communicate with the girl inside. 

“Cap, second victim in the back. She didn’t have her seatbelt on when the accident happened!” Chimney shouts as he looks around the side of the van. 

“Okay, these back doors are obliterated. I want you guys to pull that windshield,” Bobby commands, making Hen and Chimney nod.  

I quickly rush back to the engine and pull out the windshield suction cups as Ravi grabs the pry bars. Once I have them, I rush back to the van with Ravi in tow. I hand the suction cups to Hen as Ravi gives the pry bars to Buck and Eddie. Hen quickly places the suction cups on the windshield and pulls as Buck and Eddie use the pry bars. Once it comes off, Hen quickly passes the windshield to Buck, who takes it and sets it aside. 

“All right. What’s your name?” Hen asks the frightened girl softly. 

“Jo,” the girl cries out her reply. 

“Jo. Can-can you move?” Hen questions the girl and she looks down at her leg. 

“Um, I don’t know. It’s my leg. I think it’s broken. Um, please help her!” Jo cries out again as she looks up at Hen and Chimney with tears cascading down her face. 

“I'm on it, Jo, but I need to get back there, so we’re gonna pull you out. You might feel a little pain, okay?” Chimney calmly explains to her and he moves aside for Hen to get in a bit more. 

“Buck, can you carry her to the ambulance?” Chimney queries and Buck nods, moving behind Hen and getting ready to grab her. 

“Okay! Ahhh!” Jo agrees before screaming out in pain as they move her. She cries as they pull her out of the vehicle. 

Buck quickly lifts her up and carries her over to the back of the ambulance as Chimney moves into the van. Hen quickly stands up and pushes me along with Buck. 

“Go help him look her over. You have more medical training then he does. I’ll stay with Chim,” she commands me and I nod before rushing off behind Buck. 

I quickly help Buck get her down on the floor so I can look over her leg. In one fast fluid motion, I pull out a tourniquet-like brace and start putting it on her leg along with Bobby’s help as they wheel a gurney over. 

“Cap. We’re going to need an air ambulance. Patient is unresponsive, breathing is weak and she’s lost bladder control. Could be a spinal,” Chimney explains over the radio as we continue to work on Jo. 

“Copy that,” Bobby replies as we start to prepare Jo to get her on the gurney. 

“Spinal injury? Is she okay?” Jo asks me in fear and I look at her. 

“We won’t know until we get her to the hospital,” I inform her as they bring the gurney closer, now ready to get her up onto it. 

“Please, please don’t take me now because I need to see her,” she begs as she grips my hand and I pause as Hen walks up. 

“Hey, hey. You’ll be able to before they airlift her. I promise, okay?” Buck promises her before Hen or I can say anything. 

Eddie walks past us with the backboard, headed towards Chimney and we quickly move Jo onto the gurney. Jo keeps a grip on my hand and I squeeze hers before letting go. 

“Don’t worry. You know the firefighter that told you you’d see her?” I ask her and she nods in understanding. 

“That’s my best friend. I know when he promises something, he keeps it. You’ll see her just like he said,” I promise her softly and she gives me a small thankful smile as she seems only slightly less freaked out. 

“My name's y/n. I’ll stay here till your mom’s out, okay?” I tell her and she smiles a thankful smile at me again.

“She’s not my mom. She’s my mom’s best friend. My, uhh, mom passed away three years ago. Mallory was insistent we take this trip as an honor to my mother…” Jo explains to me and I smile softly at her. 

“I’m sorry to hear about your mom. You're very lucky to have Mallory. That sounds like a lovely plan. I’m sure you two can pick up when everyone is okay again,” I try to comfort her to the best of my ability and she shakes her head. 

“No. I think we’ll find a different way of traveling,” Jo informs me and I nod. 

“I would probably do that too. Nothing wrong with that,” I agree with her and she nods in agreement. 

We wait maybe a few more minutes until we see Chimney come out first. Then Eddie pushes Mallory out and together they lift her backboard onto another gurney that was taken over to them. They then start to roll her over and I move over next to Hen so they can roll her next to Jo. 

“She’s right up here,” I hear Chimney inform Mallory as they get closer. 

“Okay, she’s right up here,” he repeats himself as they get closer. 

“Mallory!” Jo shouts when they get closer before coming to a stop right next to her. 

“I’m so sorry,” Jo apologizes as they both reach out to hold hands. 

“I can’t lose you, too,” Jo continues on the verge of tears and I feel tears well up in my eyes. 

“I’m not going anywhere. We still have a lot of ground to cover, okay?” Mallory asks her as she squeezes her hand. 

“Next time, we’ll take the train,” Jo insists quickly as the others start to load her in the back of the ambulance as air support flies overhead. 

“Air support. You are clear to land,” Bobby gives the okay through his walkie and soon the helicopter is landing. 

Eddie and Chim start to walk her over to the helicopter and I let out a puff of air as my emotions take over. I take my jacket off in hopes a little air is all I need. I quickly try to sober up so I don’t start sobbing before I feel a hand on my back, making me turn to see Buck next to me. 

“Hey. You doing okay? You’re getting fidgety,” he queries with a raised eyebrow and I shake my head before nodding. 

“Yeah. No. I’m fine. Just had a flashback to my sister, that’s all,” I inform him and he nods solemnly at me. 

“I know. She’s watching over you. You know that,” he solemnly tells me, trying to comfort me as he rubs at my back and I nod, sniffling. 

“Thanks for checking on me,” I say in gratitude and I only hope Buck knows just how much I’m thankful for him. 

“Always, you know that we stick together, right?” he asks me and I smile. 

“Right. Stuck together like glue,” I reply to our life long promise we always tell each other and he smiles, nodding. 

“Okay. I’m gonna go help Chim. We’ll talk more about this later, okay?” he questions me and I nod. 

“Yeah. Go. Go. Do our job,” I agree with a soft smile and he nods before rushing off. 

“Possible spinal! She’s coming over now!” I hear him yell to the air tech that gets out of the helicopter.

“Can’t get rid of me, can you, Buckley?” I hear her voice and I immediately recognize Lucy. Red hot jealousy flares up in me, but I push it away. 

“Great to see you again, for real this time!” I hear Buck shout back as he stops to point at her and I huff, rolling my eyes. 

He turns and walks back towards me, but only frowns as I brush him off. I walk over to Bobby just as Eddie walks up. 

“Hey, Cap, think there’s a propane stove in the van. I’m gonna go check it out,” Eddie explains to him as he walks up to us. 

“Good thinking, Eddie. Y/n, go with him,” Bobby commands me and I nod. 

“Actually Bobby, can I have a quick moment with her?” Buck asks and Bobby shakes his head. 

“I guess. One minute, then back to work. Got it?” Bobby asks and Buck nods. 

“No, yeah, I promise,” Buck informs him and Bobby nods before walking off. 

“Hey, what’s up. Why are you giving the cold shoulder?” Buck asks as he looks at me. 

“It’s nothing, Buck, really. Go back to work,” I play it off and he sighs in frustration. 

“Y/n, I thought we talked about closing up? Talk to me, you know you can,” Buck begs me and I shake my head. 

“Buck. Nothing is wrong, it’s just a hard case. I told you I’d talk with you about it later,” I deflect away from what’s going on. 

“No. I know—” he starts, but gets cut off as the bridge suddenly starts to shake as it cracks down the middle, making both me and Buck fall to the ground with me on top of him. 

There’s more shaking and creaking as the bridge slowly starts to collapse. Buck looks up and suddenly he’s rushing to get up, pulling me with him. 

“Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Let’s move!” Buck yells out as the ambulance comes flying back at us and Buck quickly moves both of us out of the way just in time. 

“Hey!” he continues to shout as the ambulance rushes past us, quickly crashing at an angle. 

Buck quickly maneuvers, but somehow he gets pulled down with the ambulance, making me go with him. He smashes into the ambulance’s windshield and it cracks. 

“Buck!” I yell out as I fly past him, but he doesn’t reply. 

I let out another scream as I come to a landing on a slab of concrete, hitting my head in the process. Pain surges through my side, but I don’t notice it for long as suddenly everything goes black. 

Buck’s Pov: 

I groan as I come to, still laying on the windshield that’s now cracked from me smashing into it. There's a quiet, eerie, metallic creak and it takes me a moment to realize where I am. When I do, I take a moment to push myself up on all fours. I look around in fear for y/n, but there’s no sign of her, so I look into the ambulance next. 

“Hen!” I yell out as I see my friend still strapped into the driver's seat of the ambulance, now unconscious. 

“H-hen, can you hear—” I ask her as I bang on the window. 

“118, report in. I need a headcount,” I talk into my radio, hoping to get any answers. 

“I’m grabbing the ropes,” Ravi radios back first as I look around, trying to assess where everyone could be. 

“I’m in the van. Pretty sure I broke a couple ribs, but this van is about to get pancaked,” Eddie groans out as he radios in and I keep looking around with no sight of y/n. 

“Okay. Eddie, uh. We’re coming to you,” I inform him before taking a pause. 

“Han. What is your status?” I ask into my radio before letting go to get his status. 

“Han, come in,” I practically beg over the radios when he doesn’t answer. 

“Han…” I question again and wait a moment. 

“Han here,” Chimney finally radios in and I throw my head back in relief. 

“Captain Nash, firefighter Maysen, still haven’t heard from either of you. What is your status?” I ask into the radio again, only hoping to get something but nothing comes. 

“Bobby, y/n. Come in,” I repeat through the radio again, but still silence. 

“I see firefighter Maysen! She’s on a slab near you, maybe twenty feet away, just covered by some rubble,” Ravi explains to me through the radio and I sigh in relief. 

“Is she under it?” I question and wait for a moment. 

“No. She’s just close enough to be hidden. She’s out, though, and there’s one other thing…” he voices again though the radio before trailing off. 

“What? Is she okay?” I question him and he takes another pause, making me wait with bated breath. 

“She’s been impaled by a piece of rebar, Buck… right though the side of her stomach. I- if we don’t get to her soon, she might bleed out,” he breaks it to me easily and I sigh, putting my head down for a moment. 

“I’ll get to her as soon as I get Hen and the others out,” I inform him as I make the hard decision to wait, even though I want to rush over to her first and get her out. 

“Ok… only if you're sure. You're acting captain right now,” he informs and I let out a huff before pressing the button on my radio to reply. 

“Yeah, I know. So everyone’s safety is on me right now. Luckily if I can get Hen awake, she can take over. Let’s get to work,” I command before letting the button go, letting out a sigh, and looking down at Hen again. 

“Hen. I’m- I’m coming to you. Just stay right there,” I tell my unconscious friend before I move off the windshield and down the side of the ambulance. 

Very slowly, I make my way to the window and try to shove myself though it. The ambulance starts to tremble as I do, but I keep going. 

“Hen?” I call out to her as I pause for a moment. 

“Chim. Chim! Chim, you back there?” I shout out as I finally slide though the window of the ambulance. 

“I’m alive, but not great,” Chimney calls out in a winded tone. 

“Okay,” I pant out as I move over to Hen. 

“Come on. Hey,” I voice as I try to get Hen to wake up. 

“What happened?” Hen questions as she looks around, confused. 

“Bridge collapsed,” I inform her and her head starts to fall back. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Hen, you with me?” I question her and she squints at me. 

“I’m good. Thank you,” she conveys to me as she starts to reach towards me. 

“You okay?” she asks as she wipes at the side of my forehead. 

“Yeah. Oh. Uh… I mean, physically, yeah,” I tell her, my emotions betraying me ever so slightly as I feel a lump form in my throat. 

“Where is everybody?” she asks me as she continues to clean my face. 

“R-Ravi is up top. Eddie’s in the van. Chimney’s in the back. He needs our help. I’m gonna go up top. Get the ambulance secure. Then we get you out, okay?” I explain to her before asking if she understands. She slowly nods before letting her head fall back a bit. 

“Okay. Where’s Cap? Where’s Bobby? A-and y/n…” she suddenly asks as she quickly lifts her head straight. 

“He’s MIA, and y/n…” I pause and take a deep breath. 

“She’s currently bleeding out maybe twenty feet from us,” I inform her and she just stares at me. 

“You, uhh… y-you’re sure you’re good?” I ask her one last time just to make sure. 

“Yeah. I… I’m-I’m good,” she stumbles out in her shock and pain. 

“Just get some rope so we can get out of here,” she commands me and I nod before starting to try climbing out. 

“Okay, Ravi, I need a line,” I grunt as I call out while climbing out of the window. 

I get about halfway out the window when Ravi throws the rope down to me and I slowly finish pulling myself out. I hold onto the ambulance as I grab the rope before using it to climb back to the front. Once around the front, I continue to climb up the side until I can pull myself up to the top. Ravi hands me a part of the rope and I quickly slide under the engine, tying the rope to the underside of it. I quickly rush back to the side and let out a puff of air when I see what Ravi had seen before. 

The van is under the ambulance and both are close to falling. I let out another breath and close my eyes when I see y/n. She is indeed impaled and blood pools around her as she lays unconscious. 

“Buck, we’ll get to her,” Ravi promises as he puts a hand on my shoulder. 

“Yeah. I know. I’m not letting her go out like this. Not yet. It’s too early and there’s a lot that needs to be said,” I inform as I promise myself in my head that if we make it out, I’ll tell her how I really feel. 

“And it will be said,” he agrees with a head nod before going back over to the truck. 

“Please tell me you made it, Cap,” I whisper to myself as I look out over the scene again. 

“Okay, Ravi. Let’s go!” I shout to him as I turn around, ready to scale the concrete. 

“118, LAPD on scene at the lower level and here to assist,” Athena’s voice comes over the radio just as I hop over, ready to scale down to Hen. 

“118? Captain?” she asks in a scared tone when she gets no response from her husband. 

“Hen! That’s you!” I yell out to her, leaning back a bit. 

“LAPD, this is Wilson. Captain Nash is unaccounted for, we also have one impaled and unconscious. I’m in command. Anything you can do to help survivors on the ground level would be appreciated, ” Hen replies over the radio as I start to quickly scale down with a harness bag. 

“Copy that!” Athena quickly replies again over the radio. 

Once I get down to the ambulance, I set the bag on it and I get closer to the front of it. I quickly tie the rope to the car and pull on it ever so slightly. 

“Hey, Ravi, tension!” I call out to him and I wait a moment before leaning against the ambulance. 

I bounce on it a couple times to see how stable it is and smile when it comes out very stable. I quickly climb back to the top of the ambulance and pull the harness bag in front of me. 

“Okay. Hen, you got a harness and capture strap. Take Chimney and the patient, you send them down,” I explain to her as I throw the strap and harness in the window to her. 

“I’m headed to the van. Then I’ll get y/n. I’ll see you at the bottom,” I inform her of my plan before getting off the ambulance and heading to Eddie. 

It takes me a few minutes, but soon I make it to the van. I come to a stop next to it as Ravi looks over the side. 

“Sending down the saw!” he shouts to me before dropping me the saw bag. 

“Okay, Eddie, you in there?” I ask as I pause and listen in and he gives me a small ‘Yup’ through his groans of pain. 

“Let me get these doors open. Just shield your eyes,” I inform him before I pull the saw from the bag along with the protective glasses and start to saw at the door. 

I work for a few minutes at the door before soon I can start to pull at them. I pull one open and groan as I pause, taking the glasses off to look in at Eddie, who’s trapped under the fridge looking up at me. 

“Hey,” I pant out as I hold onto the door. 

“Any sign of Cap?” he huffs out as he struggles to breathe and I shake my head. 

“How’s y/n?” he asks and I sigh. 

“Currently, she’s bleeding out. I’m getting her next,” I inform him and he nods. 

“Sorry about this,” I apologize as I move closer to him and grab his arms. 

“Yeah. It’s gonna suck,” he comments before I pull on him. 

I pull him out and he yells out in pain as I do. Soon I’m pulling him out of the van all together and he grits his teeth. 

“Okay, I got you,” I comment as I pull him out and quickly we’re climbing down so he can get medical. 

Once he’s down standing on his own feet, some other paramedics come over to us. They get Jo first and Hen groans as she leans over before puking. 

“Hen!” Eddie yells out as we watch her double over. 

“Hey,” Eddie tells me before we both rush over to Hen, who lays flat on top of the truck she’s on. 

“I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay,” she groans, waving us off. 

“I’m okay. I’m pretty sure I’m just concussed,” she explains as she sits up and moves her helmet. 

“We got to get Chimney and y/n! We got to get Chimney and y/n!” she suddenly yells out as she looks back up. 

“No. Hey, hey, hey. We’ll get Chimney and y/n. Let’s get you down. Come on,” we both try to stop her as she groans. 

“Come on down. I promise I’ll get him and y/n,” I inform her as we all reach out for her. 

“We got you. We got you. Come on. No rush,” I rant as she finally starts to try and crawl down. 

“Okay. Come on. Let’s go. Let’s go. Let’s go,” Eddie chants as he wraps her arm around his shoulder while she pants out of breath. 

“Eddie, you got her, yeah?” I ask and he nods, giving me a small ‘hmm’ as they continue to walk. 

“Okay. I’m going back for Chim and y/n. I’ll be back,” I promise and he nods. 

Just before I turn, there’s another loud, metallic creaking noise and we all turn around. My eyes widen as the ambulance starts to shake around and the van starts to look like it’ll fall any second. 

To Be Continued…

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[marvelsmylife]

Baby blues

Pairing: Cassian x reader

Plot: it’s hard watching other experience the one thing you’ve always wanted. It’s even worse when it’s someone you know personally experiencing what you so desperately crave.

A/n this is base off this request. Keep sending requests for our favorite General here

Masterlist

Life wasn’t fair. You knew that, but it still hurt watching others live out your dream of being a mother. It was especially hard for you when you watched as two of your best friends got pregnant within the same year of them trying with their mates.

You tried to be happy for Feyre and Elain, you really did, but it still hurt watching their stomach grow each month. It didn’t help that all three of you made a pact that you would all get pregnant at the same time so your babies would be close in age, and you were now the only one not pregnant.

It also wasn’t that you and Cassian weren’t actively trying. You and Cassian were on each other 24/7. Day after day, night after night you and Cassian were having sex any chance you got in an attempt to get pregnant. Unfortunately, you guys were unsuccessful, and it caused you to become self-conscious that there was something wrong with you.

Cassian knew you were struggling. He could feel the desperation through the bond, and he desperately wanted to help you out, but he didn’t know how. He would vent to Rhysand about your struggles and ask him for advice on how he could support you through this struggle in your life.

Unfortunately, his brother didn’t have any advice to give other than just being there for you in any way he could. He couldn’t begin to imagine what you were going through, and he knew he was selfish for thinking this, but he was so grateful he wasn’t in your position.

Every time Cassian left Rhysand’s home he became more and more depressed but masked it from you so you wouldn’t worry about him. He knew you were going through a lot and didn’t want to add more stress. 

He didn’t know how bad it was until he came home one night and saw you crying on the couch. “My love, what’s wrong?” he asked, and pulled you onto his lap.

Through tears, you told Cassian that one of your friends announced that she got pregnant within a month of her trying. “I feel like a failure. I can’t do the one thing my body was built to do; produce a child for you,” you cried into Cassian’s chest. 

Your mate was devastated at your words because he knew it was the farthest thing from the truth. “Oh, my love,” Cassian pulled away and carefully wiped away the tears from your eyes: “You are not broken, my love. I know this is a very difficult time, but I need you to be hopeful. We will get pregnant, and if we don’t, that is ok as well. We could always adopt.”

“But I don’t want to adopt,” you tried to control your crying: “I want a mini version of us.”

You knew it was selfish of you to say that, especially when you knew there were a lot of children in Velaris who were orphans after the war. Cassian understood though, and didn’t judge you for your comment. He knew how fragile your mental state was. 

With that being said, Cassian decided to say something he knew would cause you more distress: “What if we put a pause on us trying to conceive?”

You looked up at Cassian in horror at his words: “Do you not want to have a baby with me anymore?”

“Of course, I do y/n, I want nothing more than to have a baby with you,” Cassian tried to backtrack: “But I feel like we’ve gotten so technical during sex for so long it’s getting robotic. I’m not saying for us to stop having sex, gods I would die if I wasn’t able to be inside you anymore. I’m just saying that we should have sex when we feel in the mood and not overthink it.”

You stayed silent for several minutes while you thought over what Cassian had said, and realized he was right. You couldn’t even think about when was the last time you truly enjoyed having sex with Cassian without thinking if that was the moment you were going to become pregnant with his child. “Ok,” you replied: “We’ll stop actively trying. And you know why?”

“Why’s that?” Cassian asked as he buried his face into your neck.

“Because if we’re not going to be actively trying to have a baby, I’m going to pick up a hobby I’ve been dying to try, that’s why,” you told confidently.

Cassian let out a low chuckle at your response: “That is a great idea. How about we go out for dinner? You deserve to be wined and dined. Especially after all you’ve been through these past few months.”

“I would really love that,” you kiss on Cassian’s lips before you got up and started getting ready for dinner.

You didn’t get a chance to start that hobby though. In a funny turn of events, you got pregnant shortly after you promised to stop trying. Both you and Cassian joked that all it took was for you not to think about getting pregnant to end up pregnant.

#cassian x reader #cassian imagine #acotar x reader #acotar imagine

[21-krplnk]

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐌.

Dick Grayson x Spider-Man Reader

AKA; one of my favorite tropes ever.

CONTAINS !!! masculine reader (only cuz they go by Spider-Man, but I kept gender/pronouns vague), LGBT reader (also kept vague), mentions of stitches, the slightest hint of bisexual Dick, could be translated as a platonic or a pre-slash relationship, and they were roommates.

“Uh… hey.”

Pausing mid-stitch, Dick looked up at his doorway to see you standing there, your hands shoved into the pockets of your jacket. There was the slightest worried quirk to your brows, your mouth formed into a thin line, and your eyes constantly glanced down the hall like you were planning an escape route. It didn’t take his natural intuition to tell you were troubled by something. Hell, maybe even anxious.

“Hey,” he softly returned, his suturing needle still motionless in his hand. He made sure he was fully facing you, giving you all of his undivided attention as he added, “what’s up?”

“… I… uh.” You gingerly pulled a hand from your pocket to scratch your neck. “I was wondering if you had some time to… talk?”

Talk? Trying not to show his concern, he gave a reassuring smile and scooted over on his bed. “Yeah, sure, of course.” His gaze was back down on his partly stitched-up arm. “Lemme just finish up real quick. You can come in.”

As he quickly got to work with closing up the wound, he could see from the corner of his eye that you hesitated for a moment. Something was clearly weighing on your mind, and the clearer your distress was, the more suspicious he became on what this talk was going to be about. He had a pretty sure guess; relief washed over his conscious just thinking about it. This wasn’t going to be a serious talk. Well, it was, but not in a bad way. Rather, he was at least 99.99% sure it was a seriously good thing. Something to celebrate, even.

You were finally coming out to him.

Admittedly, he’s had his suspicions for a while. He’s known you for a while, enough to trust you with his secret as Nightwing, so he’s picked up on the subtleties you’ve left for him, whether you were aware of it at the time or not. But it was all just speculation until you moved in as his roommate, where he could basically observe you under a microscope 24/7. And when you suddenly became more withdrawn from him, he was vehemently convinced he was right.

Now, despite being pretty sure he’s known before you even knew, he never asked you outright. It’d make him feel terrible if you felt pressured to come out of the closet before you were ready, so he gladly gave you all the time you needed to tell him directly. And of course this didn’t go without dropping subtle hints that he loves you and supports you through all your endeavors.

The bed dipped as you finally sat down on it, just in time for him to tie off his stitch. “So,” he began, trying to keep the knowingness out of his tone, “what did you wanna talk about?”

You didn’t say answer immediately. Rather, you took to staring at his bedroom carpet for a few moments, presumably getting your thoughts organized. “I… need to tell you something.”

Oh, he’s definitely right about this. “Okay…?”

Another moment of silence happened between you two. “… I’ve been keeping this secret for… for a while. And I thought you’d be mad at first, cuz I never told you, cuz I-I was kinda scared, and… well…” you softly shook your head, like you were shaking away an oncoming tangent. “Well, I guess I realized… that… I shouldn’t have been. I shouldn’t have been scared.”

He couldn’t help but put a comforting hand on your shoulder. “(Y/N)…”

“Promise me things won’t change,” you softly pleaded. It was then you finally looked up at him with an apprehension. “Promise things won’t be… different… between us… please?”

“I promise,” Dick confirmed, voice dripping with pure sincerity and encouragement. “(Y/N), things would never be different between us. Not because of something like this. I care for you. And I always will.”

There were several seconds where you scanned his face, trying to find an inkling of a lie. After realizing he was being serious, you took a deep, shuddery breath. “Dick…”

He then watched as you brought a shaky hand up to the zipper of your jacket.

… Woah, woah, woah, wait a minute.

Before he could even process what you could possibly be doing, you pulled open your now unzipped jacket and turned to face him. All he could do was stare dumbly at your scrunched-up grimace as you finally dropped the bombshell.

“… I’m Spider-Man.”

… Huh?

Slowly, his eyes braved the trip downwards to your chest, only to be met by an all-too infamous spider symbol. Oh… Spider-Man. You’re Spider-Man. This was not the coming-out talk he was expecting. At all. Any coherent thought he previously had was thrown out the window in favor of processing… this. You’ve been Spider-Man this entire time and he had no fucking clue? What the hell? How did he just… not pick up on this? Was this why you became so withdrawn? You felt like you had to hide this secret from him of all people? Your own vigilante roommate?

… Ironically, these were probably the same questions he’d have if you actually were coming out to him… in a world where he didn’t already figure it out, anyway.

“… Oh,” was all he could say. He owlishly blinked at the insignia on your chest before looking back up at you. “Wow. Uh… okay. Holy shit, uh…” he ran a hand through his hair, trying to recompose himself. He had this whole spiel prepared about how he more than happily accepts you for who you are, but it became quite apparent he has to make some adjustments on the fly. “You’re Spider-Man. Cool. I… I had no idea.”

You cracked an eye open, cautiously gaging his reaction. “You’re not… mad?”

“Well, I… can’t say I’m not shocked.” He sent a quick glance at the spider symbol. “I mean… I kinda pride myself on my detective skills, so… I guess I’m a little thrown off for not suspecting anything.” His jaw tightened a bit. “You really went above and beyond to hide this from me.”

“I-I know it’s kinda stupid, but… I mean…” you rubbed the back of your neck. “I don’t know, I thought you’d be mad that I didn’t come to you initially after the spider bite.”

He could only stare at you with a blank expression. “A spider bit you?”

“Uh… long story.”

“… Well, then.” He laid back on his bed, resting his hands behind his head as he stared at his ceiling. “Spider-Man’s my roommate. That’s cool. Uh… lotta questions, but I still gotta, y’know, process this.” He turned his attention back on them. “And not because I’m mad or anything. I just… was picturing a whole different conversation when you asked to talk.”

While you seemed to visibly relax at how he was taking this, you also cocked your head to the side in a quizzical matter. “What do you mean?”

“Hope I’m not making any horribly off-base presumptions,” (even though he was certain he was 100% right,) “but I actually thought you finally coming out to me.”

Now it was your turn to be thrown for a loop. After taking in what he said, you turned to face the wall with a simple, “oh” spilling from your mouth. “Guess it was only a matter of time before you figured me out, huh.”

“Hey, I know a thing or two because I’ve seen a thing or two,” he lightly joked.

You looked at him curiously, but didn’t pry, instead shucking off your jacket to fully expose the top half of your suit. “And yet…” you offered him a humored smirk, “you didn’t figure out I was Spider-Man? How does that make sense?”

“I have no frickin’ idea,” he exasperatedly groaned. “So, you mean to say you’ve been sneaking out to do your little spider thing this entire time? Right under my nose?”

“Kinda helps when you sneak out and do your little bat thing,” you countered with a sheepish shrug.

“And speaking of which,” he hoisted himself up into a sitting position, pointer finger jabbing accusingly at you, “we are so patrolling together tomorrow. I wanna see all your neat tricks up close. Got it?”

A warm chuckle bubbles from your chest. “Aye aye, Mr. Nightwing sir.” You even saluted him to sell your tiny quip. “Same time? 6:30?”

“If that works for you, itsy-bitsy.” After giving out his own chuckle, he quirked a brow at you. “But… I gotta know.”

“Yeah?”

“Where do… like… your webs come from?”

#dc comics x reader #nightwing x reader #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x male reader #dick grayson x gender neutral reader

[not-poignant]

Im really sorry if this is too personal please ignore me if it is but i saw your post just at the right time and im just, im struggling in my twenties at the thought of possibly having did right now. And you say you "used to", can i ask how you healed?

A lot of therapy, anon.

It does tend to show up in someone's 20s, and I went the path of Internal Family Systems Therapy (also known as IFS or IFST) which is extremely useful alongside the three C's (Compassion, Communication, Co-Consciousness).

I wasn't aiming to eliminate any alters, and anyone who wanted to stay as a separate alter could, but I taught myself through the help of other/s to be self-compassionate, to open up opportunities and methods for communication (which also included art, writing, journalling, etc. in fact the very first tumblr that 'I' ever made was actually made by an alter, and was originally called artforartists - it's now renamed and run by 'me' because Dani has absorbed back into the system, but you can still go to the earliest entries and see her in them.

It took a few years and I didn't rush things. The main thing to know is that while it feels extreme, it usually comes about as a reasonable response to an unreasonable situation, and it usually becomes very manageable with self-compassion (to all yourselves), impartial judgement, open communication, compromise (i.e. if you have an alter that wants to play video games 24/7 to the point that you're losing weeks of memory, find out small areas of compromise where they can be given something in exchange for something), and sharing consciousness where possible (co-consciousness).

It's very scary at first but imho for me personally, it has been the 'easiest' of all of my diagnosed disorders to deal with. I still have severe treatment-resistant depression and I still have severe treatment-resistant PTSD/C-PTSD, but my DID went into remission after about 4 targeted years of therapy. It's now DDNOS (Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) which means I don't have the symptoms enough to qualify for DID anymore, but I still have a system prone to dissociation / derealisation / depersonalisation and I have days where some alters are fronting a bit more than the central self, but I usually just use it as a sign that I'm really stressed and overwhelmed, rather than a sign that there's something wrong with me.

I'm extremely zen about it, tbh. And look, I didn't have the goal of 'absorbing' my alters (or them dying or w/e), I didn't set out with the idea of getting rid of it so much as learning how to live with different people who have different opinions about things in my head. But through the course of IFST and giving everyone a voice, that started to happen anyway. Healing doesn't always mean 'getting rid of alters' it mostly just means getting a handle on the memory loss (which is the most severe part of the disorder for me) and the polarisation so that it becomes regular dissonance and not so distressing it causes someone to switch. A person can be fully healed from DID and still have alters that front, if there's co-consciousness and communication for example. This was actually what I was aiming for, it just didn't end up being my outcome.

You may not be able to access therapy or IFST, and it can be hard to find DID-friendly therapists who know what they're doing, but you can actually look up and explore IFST on places like Instagram and in books like No Bad Parts and start doing the work gently already. (IFST isn't just or only for DID patients, but it is uniquely very well suited to them).

It can be very scary at first, anon, to think you might have this. Because it's a highly stigmatised and misunderstood disorder. At its root it can be understood as 'a child who didn't understand how to cope with something, at the time of personality formation, just developed a new personality to deal with it. But as a result of this, their brain got so good at developing new personalities that it became a maladapted coping strategy, and as an adult they can learn ways to cope that aren't splitting, switching, or losing memory with compassion and self-understanding.'

And honestly we all have a lot of maladapted coping mechanisms and the whole journey of life is learning to unpack them, and repack some healthier coping mechanisms into the lunchbox. And that's really about it. Still very scary and upsetting to go through, but also not a mysterious, "insane" thing. <3333 If you can reach out for help, please consider it, but otherwise do look into IFST. I started working on those strategies long before I found a suitable therapist and I honestly feel like just the mindset of radical self-acceptance and self-compromise and self-compassion was - while extremely hard to do often - the key for me, and some of those things will at the very least be helpful for you.

#asks and answers #personal #there's a lot more resources now for DID than their used to be #but there's also a lot more self-exploitation for likes and clout #just admitting you're worried something dissociative might be going on #is very brave and you're already on the path to healing anon #even though it doesn't feel like it yet

[celestie0]

Me reading ch 9 for the first time; what is it finna pla- WOAHHHHH

First off I can't thank you enough about how you made Reader ACTUALLY stand up for herself and not go right back to Gojo like girl that was mean... do it again 💋 it's SO refreshing to see reader defending herself and not be a damsel in distress 24/7 she was basically saying “zip up the yap trap and get a move on” what a queen

Second of all, I'm still spiteful for that scene of Gojo and Shoko so hope that Reader comes at him with that one (I wanna see her saying "I can draw Caseoh on your forehead" for that one or something LMAO /j) also I may or may not have a crush on your y/n in this story sjcjsj she is a hard-working person who is not only attractive prior stated by you but also just a bad bitch in general. She has flaws but that's what makes her so good and relatable in a way which is perfect for a story where the main character is a self-insert. Honestly you should be a real writer one day you're literally cooking with this story ongg

MWAHH much love and take care of yourself <3

🩷🩷🩷

aaaaa PLS 😤 mr center forward is lucky enough she’s still willin to give him a chance

omg when i read gojo & shoko i was like ??? since when was shoko in kickoff LOL i thought u meant to send this ask to someone else 🤣 and then i remembered. PLS ch4 feels like sooo damn long ago. yea im curious how reader is gonna deal w the aftermath of gojo’s WHORE era🧍🏻‍♀️sendin him to CELIBACY CAMP

omg im glad u like herrrr me too ngl i felt my pussy pop mult times while i was writing her in ch9 i kinda want her 🤣 gojo needs to move aside i wld treat her right LMAO. he better know how to fight. thank u i rly like sort of grey area characters w believable flaws n all so im so thankful to hear that u think that way 🥺💕

aaaa i’ve no interest in being an actual writer i’m a science girlie thru n thru but that is srs so flattering to hear thanks uuu!!

you are too sweet. sm love from me to you. eminem meme 10/10. have blessed day/night my dear reader <333

#kickoff #asks

[sublimecatgalaxy]

billy hargrove - enemies to lovers with prompt 17?? <3333

- your writing is amazing and your interactions with your followers are so sweet and dedicated!

hope u know how much comfort u bring to people including me!

I loveeee my billy requests.

Thank you so so so much for the love and I'm so happy to be able to give you a sense of comfort, it's genuinely all I want ♥️

"I'm coming! Jesus!" I yell, my hand whipping the door open with force as I breathlessly stare at the man in front of me. Billy doesn't give me a second to think before he's pushing his way past me and into my house, my jaw dropping as I scoff, slamming the door shut. "Billy, what the fuck?" I shout, marching down the hallway, hot on his trail as he slips into my bedroom, my brows angrily furrowed as I step into my room to see him sitting on the edge of my bed. "Why the hell are you here?" I whisper scream, remembering the presence of my parents upstairs as I lean over to turn down the music blaring from my radio.

But when I look back at him, I finally see it.

There are scratches and bruises littering his cheekbones and collarbones, his wife beater covered in blood as he reaches up to run a frustrated hand through his hair.

"What-" I cut myself off, hating the way my heart is aching in my chest at the sight of him beat up so bad. There was no reason to feel bad for him, not after seeing what he did to Steve not that long ago, almost killing him. But as I bite at my lip anxiously, noticing more bruises and gashes along his arms, I shake my head, ignoring the voice in the back of my head. "Billy, was this your dad?" I ask, anxiously shifting my weight back and forth as he sighs, shoulders tight and squared as he looks up at me.

"You tell anyone I was here, your ass is grass." He threatens but I snort, patting his shoulder as he hisses in pain, watching me carefully as I sit down beside him.

"Get over yourself, you know I have no friends." A smile spreads across his lips as I sigh, inspecting the wounds covering his exposed, tan skin. "Why here, Billy? You hate me." I laugh but he shakes his head with a shrug.

"Hate's a strong word." His eyes are the softest they've ever been as he looks back at me, my stomach fluttering with butterflies. "Max mentioned something about you being first aid certified or some shit."

"So I'm your nurse?" I giggle quietly, my eyes flickering across his tired expression and he sends me a wink.

"In a sexy way, sure." My eyes roll as I stand, making my way over to my desk to pull out my small first aid kit. I pop it open, pulling out alcohol pads and some gauze, biting anxiously at my lip. What if he has broken bones or sprains? What if he needs stitches? "Jesus, loosen up a bit." Billy laughs as I spin on my heel, scoffing as I step in between his legs, nudging his chin up as he gazes up at me, almost looking well-behaved for a split second.

"Sorry, just wasn't expecting you in my room tonight." I snort, tearing the wrapper of one of the alcohol pads.

"Not like this you mean, no I'm sure you've thought about it in other ways, huh?" Giving him a wicked grin, he hisses as I dab at his cut on his forehead with the alcohol pad, giggling at the sting it gives.

"Don't be an ass. You're mean to me 24/7 so you're lucky that I'm tending to you like you're a goddamn damsel in distress." He rolls his eyes as I rest my hand on his jaw, biting at the inside of my cheek and I work at dabbing the blood away from his pretty face. His hands raise to rest on my waist as I jump, not expecting him to be so forward.

"Why're you so jumpy, Y/L/N?" He whispers, the softness of his voice taking me off guard as I sigh, bracing my hands on his shoulders as I glare at him.

"Shut up." A smirk appears on his lips and he laughs darkly.

"Make me." My lips pull into a soft smile at his words, heart skipping a beat as his eyes flicker away from mine, his cheeks blushing gently as he shows hints of embarrassment at his own flirty words.

A part of me wants to make fun of him and tease him but I won't make fun of his boyishness now. I'll just use it in the future when he makes fun of me or throws a sexual joke my way. The other part of me wants to kiss him senselessly, coddle him and take care of him in ways no one has done before. I want nothing more but to see the softer side to him, loving when he drops his cocky attitude like he's done tonight.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee

#billy #billy x reader #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #stranger things #stranger things fic

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 31. brb x oc

a/n: not me adding more trauma to my characters w h a t

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff with a smidge of suggestive

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi 

-

During Sunday morning, the girls went to practice and  it was a lot harder. Evelyn told them all to go all the way without mercy, which meant she’d be merciless as well. Carmen and Eliza looked at each other when Evelyn seemed to be seething while practicing, even giving the other girls worried glances from across.

Beatrice noticed how Evelyn, who was usually level headed and very calm, seemed to get mad at every little mistake she made. She was distracted by something and couldn’t focus on practice which in turn angered her even more. The brunette, cautiously, suggested they do a water break since they’ve been training for one hour already - and they were all panting like old hunting dogs trying to catch a quail - adding a little smile in hopes it’d make Evelyn smile as well.

It didn’t. 

But the taller woman tossed a ‘water break’ in a grunt before she made her way out of the open gym, yanking the doors open and letting it slam shut, the other girls winced at the sound before sharing another look, “I’ll go check on her,” Bea said, rushing out of the open gym to go after Evelyn. She didn’t have to go far once she got out, Evelyn was leaning against the bright red railing that led the stairs up to the gym, clenching the iron bar with her back to the brunette.

Beatrice slowly approached, stopping right beside her to see Evelyn had her eyes clenched and her eyebrows furrowed, the scowl from before never disappeared - in fact it seemed a lot worse. “Ev?” her friend showed no response, strands of her black hair sticking to the wet skin of her cheek, her back moving in deep breaths “...Evelyn?” Bea then touched the other woman’s shoulder, who in turn gasped in surprise and snapped her head towards Beatrice, wide eyed and confused.

The two women stared at each other with shocked gazes, Beatrice slowly lowering her hand when Evelyn noticed who it was, “What is it,Bea?” she questioned, going back to lean against the railing but this time supporting her weight on her bent elbows so she’d rub her face with a tired sigh.

“Are you okay?” the brunette asks, leaning her lower back on the red iron bar, “You seem…off.”

“I am okay,” Evelyn didn’t wait for Bea to finish her line of questioning, clearly not wanting to delve too deep into this particular distressful situation, “I’m…okay.” but Beatrice was always the one who’d notice if something was off with her friends. Everytime something inside of her would make her keep an eye out on someone she cared about until she found out why they were so upset…and Evelyn knew that. 

“You don’t sound okay.”

“Stress.” Evelyn replied in a clipped voice, “From work.” but that didn’t stop Beatrice from looking at her friend worriedly, much like Evelyn thought it’d happen. The black haired woman sighed again, even deeper this time, rubbing her face with annoyance, ‘My parents want to come to the game.”

Beatrice blinks while looking down at Evelyn who still looks extremely irritated, “Oh…I thought you and your parents were getting along better now? I mean,you weren’t mad they came to our graduation.”

“Of course I wasn’t mad Bea.” Evelyn pushed herself upright, laughing bitterly, “Because it was grad, it’s their job to be there and see me get my degree in the one thing they thought I wasted my talents with. This is different.” she gestures to the open gym then to her large black shirt and blue and red biker shorts, “This isn’t something they have to come, then why would they want to come??”

Beatrice parts her lips,”Um…well, maybe they just want to see you.” Evelyn scoffs, turning her back to Bea with her hands on her hips, her left leg bouncing with nerves, “Ev, would it be so bad to have your parents come and see you?” her friend didn’t reply, but now crossed her arms over her chest, “I mean, when was the last time you saw them?”

“I don’t know, I saw my dad at the base a few weeks ago.” she shrugs, the day Bradley got back too, Beatrice recalls, “Visited my mom in her office soon after, then kept it to myself.”

“And before that?”

Evelyn paused, sighing heavily as her head turned to look at the parking lot, “I don’t know.”

“Maybe they miss you Ev, I mean, I know you guys butted heads a lot.” that’s an understatement but Evelyn said nothing when Beatrice mentioned it, “But they are still your parents…I know how it is too, and now my parents might stop being so over the top since they met Brad at the wedding, but I know how it feels.”

Evelyn sighed once again, interlacing her fingers behind her nape as she tried to calm herself, her back still to Beatrice. The brunette waited for a few seconds, then Evelyn turned around, the scowl still there but less intense, she just looked…hurt. “I did everything they asked me to do when I was a kid.” she says softly, “I was the top of my class from the age six onwards, I learned the violin, I joined the ballet class my mom used to be part of when she was younger, I learned five different languages because they said it’d help my future. The moment, the second I say no they throw a fucking fit!” she groans, “I didn’t want to go to law school but I did because I love my parents and wanted to make them happy only to spend one year in that place in complete misery.”

Beatrice followed Evelyn with her eyes when the taller woman paced about, gesturing to the air around herself, “When I decided to drop out of law school and join Northride, oh then they got fucking insane. How could I know what I want when they know me better? How could I know better than Vice-Admiral Beau Simpson and Prosecutor Vivian Simpson? How could I possibly know that learning law made me unhappy?” Evelyn’s normally low voice got higher the angrier she got, “Good lord!Oh no! Not their only daughter choosing to go to one of the most prestigious Liberal Art colleges in San Diego and do something that makes her happy! Jesus Christ, hold my pearls I think my great-grandma will come back from the dead and spank me!”

“Ev…”

“Then I move into campus and I start to ignore their calls because I was hurt and-and I was tired and all I ever fucking wanted was for my parents to understand I didn’t want to follow tradition!” she tosses her arms up in the air, turning to face Beatrice with her eyes open wide, “I didn’t talk to them for two whole years, Bea. Two! My dad got deployed and I didn’t even call him back when he returned, my mom got a very dangerous case about a mass murderer and I didn’t check on her to see if she was alright! That’s when they finally noticed they fucked up,that’s when they noticed they were this fucking close,” she pinches her index and thumb together for emphasis, “From losing me.”

“Ev…” Beatrice tried again, seeing how her friend was breathing heavily the more she talked, but Evelyn wasn’t done.

“So no, Bea, I don’t know if I’m okay with them coming and seeing the game. You know? For fucking what? Try to regain the lost years of my childhood? Show that ‘hey we are very sorry we put that much pressure on you when you were a younger, sweetie. But please, accept us back in your life because we fucked up badly and can’t handle the consequences of our own actions.’ “ Evelyn’s chest heaved angrily and her eyes had so much fury and pain it made Beatrice recoil in surprise. 

The onslaught of words took a toll on the black haired woman, whose body moved forwards to lean back against the railing as if it was a sack of potatoes. Evelyn clenched the railing with both hands, getting down to a crouch to press her forehead against her fists and keep her eyes closed. Beatrice frowned, mirroring her position so she could look at Evelyn’s face. Evelyn was always cool toned and calm, literally the most mature of them all and to see her trying to hold back tears was a shock. “It’s okay…” Beatrice whispers, gently rubbing her friend’s back, “It’s okay, Ev, you can cry.”

“They don’t deserve my tears.” her teeth clacked as she tried to hold her emotions back in, “They fucked up and they need to understand I’m fucking hurt.”

“I know,” came Bea’s soft voice, still rubbing her friend’s back repeatedly, “I know Ev. I know exactly how you feel…but this anger and pain won’t help you. You need to talk to them and…let them know what you just told me.”

“It’ll be useless.”

“You didn’t even try,” Beatrice retorts, meeting Evelyn’s glazed eyes when the taller woman sends her a look by the corner of her eye, “You won’t know unless you try.” she smiles, “Give them a chance, don’t you think they deserve it?”

“No.”

“Ev…”

Evelyn groans, “I mean, I guess, I dunno. I’m so used to talking to them less and less I don’t know– I don’t know if we can hold a conversation without an argument arising.” one more look at Beatrice’s face and Evelyn sighs, closing her eyes “Fine. Fine, I’ll tell them where the game will happen, but I make no promises.” she pauses then, looking at her red converse, “Thanks though, for listening.”

“Always.” Beatrice says, scooting closer to wrap the other woman in a hug - a bit awkward since the two were still crouched and sticking with sweat- to which Evelyn reciprocated with one of her own, breathing out softly in relief she let all of that out of her system.

The doors behind them opened and a blonde head poked out, “Hey, came to check if you are both alive.” the two women looked back at Shells, who nodded, “Okay, hey guys!” Shells turned her head back inside, “They are alive!It’s okay!” There's a cheer coming from inside the gym before Shells walks out, fixing her high bun to crouch next to the two girls, draping her arms over their shoulders, “What are we talking about?”

Evelyn hesitated, looking back at Beatrice who nodded with a small smile, “My parents are coming over to watch the game.”

“...oh…Oooohh!” Shells says with realization, ‘Family trauma? Why didn’t you call me, we could’ve shared how our families fucked us over together. It’s a great pastime-” Beatrice glared at Shells, which in turn made the blonde stop her rambling, “Oh it’ll be fine, Ev. If it helps there’ll be other people there, like my aunt, Mav, Bob,Rooster, Hangman who literally shone like a firework when he found out about it…everyone really!It won’t be so bad.”

Evelyn frowned, chewing the inside of her lip then sighed heavily, pushing herself upwards with the other two following right behind, “Okay…okay, fine…fine. It’ll be fine.” She looked back to the gym where the other girls were waiting for her return. She took one deep breath, letting the air go through her mouth before she marched back inside, head high and looking like the Evelyn they all knew.

Beatrice and Shells however, shared a worried look, the blonde had her hands on her hips as they walked in after Evelyn who was reassuring everyone inside that she was okay. 

-

Beatrice went to practice with her car that morning, letting Bradley sleep on her bed - kissing his cheek when he complained about taking her, then tucking him in as he immediately fell back asleep- back at her place. She sighed, chewing the corner of her lower lip as she parked on her driveway, that was wide enough that fit both her car and the Bronco side by side, before she picked up her bag and made her way to the front door.

“Brad?” she calls as soon as she enters, surprised to see the couch empty and Jolene hadn’t come up to greet her like always. But she did hear music coming from her kitchen, so Beatrice propped the bag strap on the wall hanger alongside her keys hearing the music get even louder as she neared the source of the sound.

She saw Jolene sitting patiently next to Bradley, who had his back to the doorframe wearing nothing but his gray sweatpants, watching him do something on the counter with interest. Beatrice leaned her shoulder against the doorframe, smiling while crossing her arms as she watched Brad toss pieces of what she could only assume would be meat - after blowing it to cool it down- to Jolene who’d catch mid-air. She took notice of some of her pans on the stove alongside the delicious smell wafting around her kitchen, not being able to hold back her smile as he continued messing about the counter. 

Debbie Harry’s raspy tone mixed with Bradley’s deeper one as he sang along to Heart of Glass, bobbing his head while following the tune as he opened the sink to wash his hands. He noticed he was no longer alone with Jolene, because he looked over his shoulder to see Beatrice still leaning against the door frame with a smile, “Well, hey,” he smiles, wiping his hands on the rag on the counter before turning around to step closer, “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“You were singing along with Debbie, I didn’t want to interrupt.” she said, rolling her lower lip into her mouth while watching his body ripple as he walked, the subtle flex of his pectorals clearly were intentional once he noticed her eyes dragging all over him and stopping at the sharp jut of his hip bones.

“I think Ms.Harry would understand,” he says, sliding his hands around her waist and bringing her closer, “That I had to stop the performance to greet my girlfriend.” 

When he kissed her, she couldn’t help the pleased hum when their lips met, her arms wrapping around his neck to deepen it. She laughed into his mouth when he grabbed her ass, cupping the cheeks to pull her higher in his hold but not wrapping her legs around his waist, just letting him pick her up was good enough.

Beatrice pulls back, giving him one more peck before she looks into his eyes, “Are you planning something?” she questions, looking over his shoulder to her stove curiously.

He looks back as well, “Ah,” he begins, “Well,ma’am, if you must know I’m preparing us lunch. You always cook us something and I wanted to repay the favor.” he says, pressing butterfly kisses to her neck, moaning she smelled so good even after working out.

“Oh really?” Beatrice laughs, “And what are you preparing for lunch then?”

“Chicken fajitas, you had the ingredients in your fridge so,” he shrugs, pulling back to look at her, “I thought why not give you a nice lunch prepared by your boyfriend,” he pecks her lips “That loves you,” another one “So much.”

Beatrice blushes, barely being able to kiss him back when he does so, but she’s grinning down at him, “I wouldn’t mind that at all.” she says, “But I really need to shower, Roos. I’m sticky all over.” he lowers her to the ground where she fixes her shirt, then her shorts, “I’ll be right back, okay?”

But her boyfriend drops his gaze to her bare legs, his own lower lip being bitten between his teeth as he takes his eyes back up, “I can make you all sticky if you want, gorgeous. Just give me a few minutes.” but he just walks back into her kitchen with the same smile on his face, disappearing from her view as she climbs up the stairs.

It’s a quick shower just to remove the grime and sweat from her body, changing to a large t-shirt and soft striped pants. It was Sunday, there was no need to actually dress up fancier than that. 

Beatrice walks back into the kitchen to see Jolene is already eating in the corner and Rooster smiling at her while pulling a chair for her to sit, ‘Ma’am, please sit,your food will arrive shortly.” he says, kissing her lips before she sits down, turning her head to watch him bring the plate already set in front of her, the chicken fajitas with colorful mexican rice on the side and a dollop of guacamole stared back up at her.

Rooster pulls the opposite chair back with his leg, then sits down himself after placing the plate down in front of him, “Roos, this looks amazing.” Beatrice says, “And it smells incredible.”

“Well I have a few tricks up my sleeve.” it's what he says while rolling his eyes with a smile, “And I know some recipes, some quick ones that I can make with my eyes closed.”

Beatrice only smiled before taking a bite out of everything in her plate, humming happily as she chewed, “Brad, this is so good.” She says, “You are a great cook.”

Bradley drops his head with a laugh, eating his own forkful with a smile on his lips, “Well,I try my best.” He was still learning some stuff, but he has been watching cooking videos all over the internet to level up his own skill in case he wanted to make her something. Like right now. Seeing her happy face was enough of a reward for him if he was being honest to himself.

Both were starving, enough for their conversation to be short besides the usual compliment she’d throw his way thanks to how good his cooking was. And Rooster couldn’t help himself, the constant compliments were doing something to him. By the time they were done, he picked the plates before she could do it, kissing her cheek as he walked back to the sink, “That was really good, my compliments to the chef.” she chuckles, watching his muscular back move as he washes everything.

“Well, the chef accepts the payment in kisses.” he says with his back still turned, looking over his shoulder with his eyes hooded, “Or…in some other form that a lovely woman could give him if she so desired.”

“I think we can work something out.” she replies, leaning on a hand and watching him wash everything with a smile. Again, this was so…domestic and nice, she wanted to keep it to memory “If the chef is willing to talk about it.”

“Oh, he is,” Rooster says quickly, drying his hands with the rag as Beatrice stands to her feet, his taller frame towering over her as he steps closer, pinning her against the wall, “He’s open to several methods of payment, ma’am.” he whispers, lowering his mouth to her jawline then her neck, digging his fingers on the soft fabric of her pants, stretching it over her ass so he could feel her panties underneath. “We should talk about it, right now.”

“Roos, we literally just ate.” she laughs, feeling her boyfriend groan in displeasure as he drops his head on her shoulder, “Just give it a few minutes, okay?”

“But,” he looks back up with a pout, “But you smell so good…and you feel so good too.” Beatrice just arched her eyebrow at him, making Bradley groan one more time before he pulls back, dragging his hands up her waist, nuzzling her neck with finality “Fine.”

Beatrice smiles, grabbing his hand and tugging him out of the kitchen and towards the living room, where he flopped on the couch with a pout, bringing her closer to himself by setting her on his lap. She didn’t complain, she just laughed and nuzzled on his neck, running her fingers over the lines of his arm, the hair there tickling the pad of her thumb as she drew random patterns on his golden skin.

“How was practice, by the way?” he asks after a few seconds of watching her move her finger on his arm.

“It was okay.” she replies, choosing to keep what happened with Evelyn private, “I guess…I’m still nervous, you know?”

Rooster hummed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, hugging her tighter to his chest as he adjusted himself on the couch, “You’ll do great.” she murmurs something under her breath, pressing her temple to his collar bone with her eyebrows low, “You’ll kick their asses. Where will the game happen?”

“Well, according to Ev, they wanted to do it on a ‘neutral’ ground since we are Northride alumni. So, Prof.Richards talked to a gymnasium and we can use it there.” she says, huffing out a soft breath, “I don’t know, Roos. I’m kinda scared about dealing with these…girls. Evelyn said they could be very vicious.”

Rooster frowns,sliding a bit further on the couch so he could place his legs on her coffee table, giving her more space to lie down on him, “You think they’ll try something?” they better not, no one better mess with Beatrice, no matter who.

“Ev said that this charity game is their ticket back into the regional games. If they manage to have a good game, winning or losing it, they can get back on the spotlight.” she explains, looking back up at him when he runs his fingers through her hair, twisting the ends of the strands on his index, “So…there’s that.”

He inhales deeply, pressing another kiss to her head in hopes it’d calm her down, “So, it’s a way for them to just show everyone they aren’t pieces of shit?” 

“Pretty much, no one wanted to play with them and that…worries me a little.”

That worried him a little too, whoever these girls were they must’ve done something really bad for them to reach out for this charity marathon and then have Beatrice’s team be their opponent when no one else wanted to. 

Beatrice and the others were obviously older than they were, maybe somehow they thought they had an advantage because of that. Which is insane, because the age range went from twenty three to twenty nine, no one of the girls were ancient. And, not to toot his girlfriend’s own horn again, but Beatrice was too good, she was very good, if she plays at the game how she played against Hangman it’d end up with their victory.

But she looked worried still, chewing on her lower lip repeatedly while looking away from him, “Bea,” she looks up with her lower lip still in her mouth, so he gently pulls it off from between her teeth, rubbing the bruised flesh with his thumb soothingly, “Baby, don’t be like that, I know you’ll do your best.”

Beatrice blushed at the new nickname, “I…I’ll try…” she says, “I just want to do good.”

“You will do good.” he reassures her, gently caressing her scalp, “You will kick their asses, we’ll celebrate at the Hard Deck then we’ll celebrate even harder when we get back here.” She didn’t miss the obvious intonation in his voice when he says it, meeting his eyes and mirroring his smile.

Beatrice’s smile relaxes him immediately, especially when she adjusts herself to straddle his lap and sit on top of him, her arms draped over his shoulders, “Celebrate even harder?” he nods, cupping her butt cheeks and squeezing the flesh gently, “That sounds…very interesting.”

“It is.” he purrs, ‘It involves you, me and a whole lot less clothing.”

“Ah. Of course.” but her smile remains, her hands cupping his cheeks as she kisses his lips, “Thank you, Roos. For calming me down.”

God, he could have that smile forever ingrained in his brain and he wouldn’t complain, “It’s my pleasure, gorgeous.” He gently touches the side of her cheek, “You can always count on me.”

“And you can always count on me.” she says promptly, he’s reminded of their day at the amusement park and at the Ferris Wheel, with her telling him she’d protect him from harm only for minutes later she does the exact thing she said she’d do when they were in that little cabin, “Okay?”

God he loved her. 

He did. 

He just smiled even more, his eyes squinting at how much his cheeks flexed in happiness. His whole body was warm for all the good reasons, “Okay.” he replies, cupping her chin so he could bring her head closer and their lips would meet yet again.

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader

[unohanabbygirl]

ok truth be told I'm not that big of a jaceluke fan (jacegon and lucemond my beloveds) BUT I am here for the drama so I must ask; in FMN luke, as far as he knows, mostly felt attracted to aemond because he thought he looked hot and aemond just counted is blessings and ran w it. So how would their dynamics have turned out if luke had his lil lust at first sight towards jace instead??

like he sees aemond and thinks "meh my lawyer's son is kinda mid" buts meets jace and goes "DAMN. Stepbrother?!? More like plz step on me." [in the background: the twins cackling as the hightower boys fall to their knees]

Give me a second to kiss your amazing brain anon. I’ve never for a second thought of things going this way and I’m absolutely living for it.

Though as the reader we know part of Luke’s attraction towards Aemond is because of their past, on the surface the only reason he’s going for Aemond is because he has that hot douche bag thing going on. Had he seen seen a picture of Jace first with those curls, dark green eyes and pouty lips? Yea, he would’ve been all over that without a doubt. Aemond’s fr lucky that Alicent decided to show Luke that pic of him holding Nugget when she did.

In this AU things are 10x more chaotic because not only is it obvious Luke is trying to fuck Jace, but more of the family are aware of this little tryst because they’re paying more attention to they way these long lost brothers are acting with one another and Luke isn’t acting very brotherly (at least in the non-Targaryen way.)

Jace is shocked at first, but once the initial surprise wears off he finds himself happily reciprocating. As i’ve said before Jace’s love for Luke exceeds all bounds and he’d be anything to him including a lover. However he refuses to even think about going down the more sexual side of things because even though this Luke wants to jump his bones, he would never want the Luke he remembers to feel as though he’d been taken advantage of.

Its also easier for Jace to stop himself from going too far (unlike Aemond) because he and Luke don’t have the tension Lucemond does. Though he thinks his brother is beautiful, its Aemond who’s been dealing with a two thousand year long burning passion.

Joffrey reaction to Jaceluke is basically ‘as long as y’all don’t make out in front of me, idc.’ It actually makes him feel more secure in Luke’s presence. As though Luke being with Jace means he’ll never wanna leave them.

Rhaenyra and Harwin are more surprised than upset but overall accepting. Though its so alien to see them being full-on romantic with each other. Daemon on the other hand is just smirking because he knows Aemond is sick to his stomach and burning in envy. Seeing the guy suffer as Luke sits on Jace’s lap is 10x more satisfying than sticking his sword through his eye.

While Jaceluke is doing their thing it’s safe to say both Aegon and Aemond are shaking, crying and throwing up. I’m talking in distress 24/7 and thinking about ending it all. It’s so bad they end up flocking to reddit in hopes of finding advice on how to break a couple up but only get laughed out of every subreddit and called delusional weirdo’s before deleting their accounts because the cyber bullying got too bad.

Aemond almost jumps out of Alicent’s car straight into the busy intersection when she comments about how cute the two boys look together.

Aegon tries to convince Aemond that they should call the cops because fucking your foster brother is against so many system rules but then Aemond has to literally slap him because that would mean Luke getting taken away.

They’re just two sad bro’s trying to figure out how to ruin Jaceluke.

#asks

[yanyanderes]

After reading your Yandere Kendra post , I’m curious what would happen if Donnie and her fall for the same darling ? Both makes crazy inventions, both are good at technology and hacking , both have different ways to keep an eye on the reader as well as how much freedom their get ?

ooooooh the drama

before we put them up against each other, imma go a bit into detail about how different these two are.

there are quite a few similarities between these two, like the ones you’ve listed- crazy tech, trackers, all that good stuff, but there are many things that set them apart and could either benefit them or put them at a disadvantage.

for example, the way (y/n)’s feelings affect them and how they isolate them. donnie hates the thought of (y/n) hating him. such thoughts are enough to keep him up at night, and he needs constant reassurance that they do care for him.

kendra doesn’t care what (y/n) thinks of her. if they love her, cool. that makes her job easier. if they hate her guts, oh well. everyone already knows that by getting involved with (y/n), they get involved with the purple dragons, so they won’t get within ten feet of them. such a shame, guess kendra’s the only person you can go to now.

another difference is fear. yes, donnie is indeed prideful of his inventions. however, he is still very paranoid, so he keeps a diligent eye on (y/n) at all times. he has routine check-ups where he calls them if he can’t visit, and has them glued to his side anytime he can.

kendra isn’t nearly as paranoid. she just has (y/n) wear a purple dragon jacket with a tracker imbedded inside (and even if they refuse to wear it, she’ll still plant that tracker on them somehow) and spreads the word that they’re involved with her. she’s sure that her reputation alone is enough to scare off potential suitors, but for any idiots who just don’t get the hint, she has a robot following (y/n) from the shadows 24/7 that she doesn’t mind getting dirty.

putting these two against each other is hectic.

hacking each other’s devices, hiding (y/n) in places where the trackers struggle to send signals, all while they try to convince (y/n) that they’re the best option.

kendra is blunt and kinda tries to bribe (y/n) into giving in to her.

“don’t tell me you actually want that freak. think of it- with me, nobody will ever think of messing with you again. you’ll be feared by everyone, and my robots will take care of you, you won’t have to lift a finger ever again. come on, say yes. it’s not like you have a choice anyways.”

donnie is visibly more distressed and desperate. he refuses to admit it, but he’s scared that kendra will actually take (y/n) away.

“listen, (y/n), i- i know this looks bad, it’s just- hey, listen, i’m just trying to do what’s best for you! you know kendra, you know all of the terrible things she tried to do! hacking into the bank, using me to nearly destroy my own brothers, she’s terrible! please, just say that you choose me.”

oh dear, (y/n), what have you gotten yourself into?

#yandere rottmnt #yandere tmnt #yandere rottmnt donnie #yandere rottmnt kendra #yandere tmnt 2018 #yandere donnie #yandere kendra #istg these two are about to start ww3 and it’s gonna be because they have the same crush #yan-asks

[chenfordsbby]

"The Ride Along"

Season 1 Episode 7: “The Ride Along”

“Sergeant Grey informs Nolan and officer Bishop that they are going to have a movie director as a ride-along.  Bradford learns that his wife has been arrested for drug possession”

Original Air Date: December 4th, 2018

Written By: Robert Bella

Directed By: Cherie Nowlan

Before we start another episode, I just want to express all of the continued love and support and likes and re-blogs and thought and opinions on everything that I have shared so far!  I know there has been a multitude of re-watch blogs this hiatus so for everyone who has stuck with me and will continue to stick with me, the appreciation is endless so thank you!!  With that being said, shall we begin!

This is the best cold open we have seen so far, with the cutest premise of why it was done, “Make-a- Cop Wish Foundation”! One of the many reasons why this show is flat out amazing.

Ben is back, and putting Nolan in his place, get out there and stop being a sad little puppy.  I mean, Nolan is acting like a whiny child.  If this is how he is acting after the breakup with Lucy, who he was only dating for a few months, I can only imagine how he acted after his divorce from his wife of 20 years. 

Im glad there is another episode with Lucys hair still in her braid buns, I wish they lasted longer.

Grey asks what one of the worst days on the job can be with the vets giving all different answers, but according to Grey, it is The VIP Ride Along.  The officers have to limit the calls they take as to not put the VIP in any danger, have to make sure the VIP is getting treated as such, but also while still doing there job as well. “He doesn’t get anywhere near danger” Sounds like its going to be a slow day for Bishop and Nolan.  Every call that comes in over the radio gets bypassed by Nolan and Bishop until they get a less than thrilling one, no action to put the VIP in danger.   They respond to the call which seems to be innocent, but Bishop and Nolan enter a house unsecured which reveals a dead body.  VIP continues to want to toss money around to make this house call pass by, which shows his arrogance, this is something exciting for him, but for John and Talia, this is the proper protocol for what they have to do when put in this situation, this is still their job, and they need to do it the right way, no matter if VIP is there or not. 

Bishop and Nolan respond to another call, a family disturbance.  Nolan and Bishop both see that the distressed man has mental issues and they quickly de-escalate the situation without any force.  They inform the family that he will be placed in a 24 hour mental facility hold which is better suited for their brother than putting him in a jail holding cell.

Taking Ben’s advice, John accepts the invitation to go to VIP’s house party that night and maybe it was a good thing he was there too- he saved a girl from being roofied!  I still appreciate that Nolan is still the comedic factor of every episode in some way. The next day, while out on patrol John and Talia answer a personal call on Johns phone and it is VIP under attack from the family of the disturbance call from the previous day. Turns out maybe VIP isn’t such a bad guy after all- he called up the family from the previous days arrest and offered to pay for a spot in a mental facility and they took it completely the wrong way and attacked him.  Ive said it before and I’ll say it again, as much as Nolan is the comedy relief, he also has a way with his words and he knows how to use them well- he could talk himself and others out of any situation.  At the end of the episode, John video calls his son, and it’s the first time we see him being a dad!  Obviously we are going to see him again soon as John mentions he will buy tickets to fly his son out to LA!  This show continues to have a good balance between the professional and personal aspects of all of their characters!

This is the first we hear of Angela being interested in the open detective position.    Angela wants to move up, and thanks to Jackson, she has some inside intel.  When Angela and Jackson respond to the 9-1-1 call, they see a kid electrocuting himself, solely to get an adrenaline rush.  Jackson is quick to make an arrest, but Angela stops him after doing a quick canvas of the scene.  She spots all stolen hospital property,  and is already thinking 5 steps ahead: you have to go through all of the minnows to get to the big shark. 

Angela’s detectives skills are very visible and apparent this episode, she knows how good she can be as a detective and she wants to make it known.  Not only is she putting her potential detective skills in use, but she is also teaching Jackson how to long for a bigger picture in making certain arrests happen, also like thinking of a food chain, how to use the bottom feeders to get to the top.  At the end of the episode though, it turns out that Angela got way ahead of herself and the big guy on top turns out to be a dead end as Captain Anderson informs them.  The prospect of Angela potentially getting the tap and becoming detective got the best of her that day and she got a little over her head?  It’s upsetting for Angela, but Jackson is there for her every step of the way and continues to support her.  It is nice to see Angela and Jacksons budding friendship in this episode, it seems to be evolving into a really special bond. 

Now onto the #Chenford of it all (our favorite part of every episode)!

Tim and Lucy are still at the station, with Tim un-patiently waiting for Lucy to grab their shops gear when Grey summons Tim into his office.  Once in the office, Grey informs Tim of a recent drug bust, and the arrested suspect is Isabel.  You can see Tim’s heart drop into his stomach at that news.  I wish we could be inside Tim’s head here, because he is clearly reeling from this information.  Tim hasn’t seen or heard from Isabel in a year, and then after one random day while on the job, she’s back in his life and not the way that Tim was hoping for.  Every time he’s seen her since, its been at the police station, and it is evident she is till on drugs, which continues to cause major stress on their already strained marriage.  How much more can it take?  How much more can Tim take?

It’s like Tim is in the twilight zone for a bit this episode.  He doesn’t know what to think, act or feel, and is kind of just there.  For a man who claims to never show no emotion, you can see every one written across his face and in his eyes when he watches from afar, the detectives bring Isabel into the station.  I wish I could jump though my screen and give Tim a hug.  I feel like that’s what he needs right now, a hug from someone who will never let him go. (Ahem Lucy!!!)

The detectives let Grey and Tim in on what is going on with Isabel and what will happen with her now that she was arrested.  Isabel is deep with heroin, and with other heroin dealers. The detectives do make a good point, “Is he a cop or the suspects husband”; Tim is really caught between a rock and a hard place in this episode.  Does he put his feelings aside and practice what he preaches to Lucy and be the cop, or does he put his professionalism on the back burner and be Isabels husband in her time of need and help her out, even though she probably doesn’t deserve it.  What is Tim to do, or feel? 

Tim and Lucy bring in a suspect for public urination, but I think it is a ruse for Tim to get himself bak to the station to see Isabel, I mean, even Lucy knows this arrest is nonsense but she has Tim’s back, so she just does as he says.  Lucy spots Tim looking at Isabel and lets him know that shell keep an eye out for the detectives so he can have a conversation with Isabel.

We know what Tim and Isabels relationship is like now, but it makes me wonder what their relationship was like for the past 10 years.  How long was it good until it got bad?  How were they at work together? How were they like at home?  This episode makes me want to know so much more about Tim.  Isabel knows she’s in big trouble for heroin possession, which is why she asks Tim to do the unthinkable and get rid of the stashed heroin at her ‘sometimes boyfriends’ house so the cops don’t find it when they raid the apartment. I can only imagine how that made Tim feel- having your current wife talk about her boyfriend, like a knife to an already bleeding wound.  In my opinion, I think Isabel begging Tim to help her is out of pure selfishness.  She knows what will happen to her if she goes to prison, and she will do any means necessary to stay out of it, and that includes begging Tim to help her with this. In no way does she ever think about what she’s asking Tim to do will affect him, but why would she though.  It’s an interesting choice when the camera pans to Lucy right after Isabel asks him to hide her stash, I wonder why?

Later that night, a stealthy looking Tim breaks himself into Isabels apartment, he opens the heating unit and finds the heroin exactly where Isabel said it would be, and in that moment we don’t see what his decision is as he’s back on the streets.  Is this rock bottom for Tim and Isabel’s relationship?  When they exchanged vows 10 years ago, I don’t think Isabel asking Tim to confiscate kilos of heroin from her sometimes boyfriends apartment was a thought.  How does not only a strained relationship, but also strained marriage recover from a situation like this?  I mean, can it ever recover and go back to what it used to be?

Tim almost gets in his car until Lucy steps out of hers.  My first though when Lucy gets out of her car is how did she know that Tim was going to be there, but it brings us back to when Lucy was listening into the conversation between Tim and Isabel in the holding cell, Lucy has always been listening, this entire time. 

Lucy is there for Tim.  Just like we don’t know what Tim decided to do, neither does Lucy, but that doesn’t matter.  Tim and Lucy have only known each other for 2 months, but in those 2 months, Lucy has learned who Tim is.  I mean he doesn’t make it easy for her to forget.  Lucy knows that if he does help her, it will completely change him as not only a cop, but a person and maybe even as a husband.  That is why Lucy is there, to remind Tim of that, and after she does, is silence is loud. There is no response from him, he just walks away and I really do believe it’s because he knows that she’s right.  Lucy knows that if Tim did this for Isabel, it would just put her back on the streets, and right back into a cycle, learning nothing from it.  Lucy just knows. There was no reason why Lucy needed to show up that night to talk to Tim, she just knew that she had to, no matter how much shit she would get for it from him the next day. This was one of those moments that furthered their friendship, even though neither of them realized it at the time.  

The next morning, Tim pretends as if nothing happened from the previous night. His  decision is revealed that he actually didn’t help Isabel and he left the heroin in the apartment as told to us by Grey.  Lucy tells Tim that he did the right thing, so why does Tim look like he didn’t.  Not that Isabel deserves anything from Tim, but he apologies to her that he didn’t or couldn’t help her and she is quick to dismiss it; which just shows how much she isn’t willing to change.  At no point in this entire episode was Isabel thinking of anybody but herself whereas Tim was thinking of everybody but himself.  And by everybody, I mean Isabel.  She claims that because of what Tim didn’t do, that they will never know if she could’ve actually changed and gotten her life together, but I think that deep down, Tim knows that she would’ve just ended right back in the streets, repeating the same cycle.  And that’s why he made the choices that he made.  Isabel’s lashing out at Tim is misplaced and uncalled for and Tim just takes it, what else can he do, he just signed over a prison sentence to his wife. 

At the end of this episode, Tim is sitting in silence in his car when Angela and Talia show up and enter his space.  They already know what Tim is going to say, but that doesn’t mater for them, whether he likes it or not, the girls are there for him, jus like they have been and always will be.  That is what friends do.  Angela and Talia were friends with not only Tim, but Isabel as well, and watched the marriage start to fall apart and they are going to be there to pick up all of Tim’s broken pieces and help put them back together again; well mainly Angela, and a lot of Lucy, because Lucy is and will always be exactly who Tim needs, he just doesn’t know it yet!

______________________________________________________________

Honorable Mention: Lucy’s baby, her car!

Episode Peak: Jackson & Angela

Episode Pit: Distraught Tim

Quote of the Episode: “No, I came here to remind you that you’ll regret helping her.  Because it’s not gonna change her, but it’ll sure as hell change you” ~ Lucy Chen

Episode Rating: 8/10.  I enjoyed this episode.  Not only did it give us one of the best Season1 Chenford scenes, but it also shows the blooming friendship between Jackson and Angela! 

__________________________________________________________

Another episode down! Thank you, thank you, thank you again for reading and chiming in! I truly appreciate it! 7 episode down, only 91 more to go!!!!

Until next time on, "Get in the Shop"...

#The Rookie #Lucy Chen #Tim Bradford #Chenford #John Nolan #Angela Lopez #Jackson West #Talia Bishop #The Rookie 1x07 #The Ride Along #Tim x Lucy #Lucy x Tim #Eric Winter #Melissa O'Neil #Get in the shop: the rookie re-cap blog #I love doing this so much #thank you for sticking around #please share your thoughts and opinions on this #1x07

[halfblood-princes-crown]

somebody on main tag says Snape's worse than James in school despite admitting that James is a bully bcs… Snape's apparently part of a terrorist group… at school.

Umm… first of all, my man's a halfblood living in the muggle world.

Second of all, there is no proof that he was a part of DE at school except for the mention that he interacts with a future member of DE who lives IN THE SAME HOUSE as he is.

Third of all, consider, if someone is being bullied and set aside constantly by a group that's considered to be popular, would it not be possible then that they may come to rely on the fringe group for assistance and companions? Especially if the main in-group has exactly one person who supports him, and literally everybody else does not give a damn about him. (as seen in SWM)

Idk, snaters are testing my patience, darn it

He didn’t join the DEs until after he graduated. Whoever said that is stupid. He kinda had no choice but to hang out with the CHILDREN of DEs because he was put in house with them…

So basically, if me breaking it down will help the idiots understand better, a young, poor, abused, neglected kid is excited to go to a school with his only friend where maybe he’ll finally fit in just to start getting bullied (they only even interacted because pothead can’t mind his own conversation). He gets sorted into the house he wanted to be in but is separated from his friend. Desperate to make new friends, he befriends the wrong crowd. As the years go by, the bullying gets worse and he’s miserable in a place he thought he’d enjoy. Mind you, he’s still around the children of DEs 24/7…I’m sure they were feeding him all kinds of “you’ll be better off with us! You get whatever you want! Think about the power we’ll have!” Crap. Then SWM happens and James decides to choke Severus and put his underwear on display in front of a crowd of people just because his bf Sirius was bored…Lily comes up, smiles at the situation flirts with James, yells at James, James disrespects her and Severus, Severus is in distress and in a moment of weakness calls lily a Mudblood, she mocks his poverty, walks away, and James asks ppl if they wanna see him take Snapes underwear off…

He was set up for failure from the start…he was put in a position to make the dumbass decision to join DEs and the fuck squad didn’t help the situation by bullying him “because he exists” as James said it

I wish ppl get off the main tag with bullshit

Edit: I just found out whoever said this is a “Snape stan” that blocked me a while ago 🤡

#severus snape #pro severus snape #pro snape #anti snaters #anti marauders

[robin-hood-for-freedom]

Again the anger of the Lord burned against Israel, and he incited David against them, saying, “Go and take a census of Israel and Judah.”

2 So the king said to Joab and the army commanders[a] with him, “Go throughout the tribes of Israel from Dan to Beersheba and enroll the fighting men, so that I may know how many there are.”

3 But Joab replied to the king, “May the Lord your God multiply the troops a hundred times over, and may the eyes of my lord the king see it. But why does my lord the king want to do such a thing?”

4 The king’s word, however, overruled Joab and the army commanders; so they left the presence of the king to enroll the fighting men of Israel.

5 After crossing the Jordan, they camped near Aroer, south of the town in the gorge, and then went through Gad and on to Jazer. 6 They went to Gilead and the region of Tahtim Hodshi, and on to Dan Jaan and around toward Sidon. 7 Then they went toward the fortress of Tyre and all the towns of the Hivites and Canaanites. Finally, they went on to Beersheba in the Negev of Judah.

8 After they had gone through the entire land, they came back to Jerusalem at the end of nine months and twenty days.

9 Joab reported the number of the fighting men to the king: In Israel there were eight hundred thousand able-bodied men who could handle a sword, and in Judah five hundred thousand.

10 David was conscience-stricken after he had counted the fighting men, and he said to the Lord, “I have sinned greatly in what I have done. Now, Lord, I beg you, take away the guilt of your servant. I have done a very foolish thing.”

11 Before David got up the next morning, the word of the Lord had come to Gad the prophet, David’s seer: 12 “Go and tell David, ‘This is what the Lord says: I am giving you three options. Choose one of them for me to carry out against you.’”

13 So Gad went to David and said to him, “Shall there come on you three[b] years of famine in your land? Or three months of fleeing from your enemies while they pursue you? Or three days of plague in your land? Now then, think it over and decide how I should answer the one who sent me.”

14 David said to Gad, “I am in deep distress. Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, for his mercy is great; but do not let me fall into human hands.”

15 So the Lord sent a plague on Israel from that morning until the end of the time designated

2 Samuel 24: 1-15

This verse(and the corresponding story in 1 Chronicles 21) confused me the first time I read it. Why does God care that David took a census?

But with a little thought, and more knowledge of how the ancient world worked, I think I understand it. And it has to do with WHY kings took censuses back then. It was done for tax assessment, and to see how many men were available for conscription and corvee labor.

If you arent familiar with corvee labor, its basically a system that was in place in most ancient near eastern societies(up until the Persian period) where part of a mans tax burden was paid in labor for the king. Usually this involved building public works(such as canals), military fortifications or monuments(the pyramids were mostly done with corvee labor).

Conscription, taxes, and forced labor all recall the warnings Samuel gave about what a king would do to Israel:

He said, “This is what the king who will reign over you will claim as his rights: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chariots and horses, and they will run in front of his chariots. 12 Some he will assign to be commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and others to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and still others to make weapons of war and equipment for his chariots. 13 He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. 14 He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his attendants. 15 He will take a tenth of your grain and of your vintage and give it to his officials and attendants. 16 Your male and female servants and the best of your cattle[c] and donkeys he will take for his own use. 17 He will take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves will become his slaves.

1 Samuel 8:11-17(emphasis mine).

I dont think God was made about the census per se. But because by taking the census David was preparing to demand more taxes, enslave the people, or conscript an army for war.

Also dont forget that it was high taxes and heavy use of corvee labor under Solomon that sparked the civil war that split Israel into two kingdoms. So God(as usual) was right on this one

[mysteriousmoss]

A glimpse at a Security Guards Night at a Pizza Place.

———————

New oneshot lets go.

This little thing was inspired by this post by @samwasneverhere

———————

It’s Joe’s regular night working security at Hermits and Friends Pizzeria.

Or well as normal as it can be with him having to deal with the animatronics and their antics(while also trying to think of lies for whenever management asks why Scar The Mongoose is stuck in the vents again with a stuffed cat plush or when they ask why Jevin the Skink is more sticky than before and for some reason wet or when they ask why Ren has a broken voice box that seemingly died out as there is no damage to the wires.

Yeah, “normal.”

But either way Joe’s being paid enough so he can afford shelter and food(even though he should really be paid more for the amount of trauma and chaos these animatronics cause.)

But come and join Joe for a look at his night as the night time security guard for Hermits and Friends Pizzeria.

Any trauma received is normal and please do not sue the company. There are already too many lawsuits .

————12 am 12/29/XX————

“BOO!”

Joe flies out of his seat with his food flying out of his hands towards the voice that scared him.

It takes him a moment but he calms down and looks at the Mongoose animatronic(that’s covered in a cold microwaved dinner) with an unimpressed look.

The Mongoose face shows a sheepish grin(how it’s possible nobody knows) which makes Joe continue to give the animatronic an unimpressed look.

“Scar, this is the third time this week. Can I please eat my dinner in peace?”

The Mongoose, Scar, turns away from the security guard and acts like he didn’t just scare Joe and get food thrown at him.

“SCAR!”

————1 am 12/29/XX————

“Martyn…Martyn why does nobody listen to my stories?”

Joe looks towards the Wolf animatronic, who is talking to a plant that looks like it needs some water and sunlight, from where he’s standing restocking the prize corner.

‘Does he think I stopped listening to him? I knew getting him a plant might be a good idea but him talking to it almost 24/7? I may need to look up how to get Ren therapy.’

Joe’s internal monologue was interrupted by the sound of glass breaking and a distressed shout.

“MARTYN NO! MY HAND DON’T LEAVE ME!”

Joe looks at Ren, who is now on his knees holding the plant in his hands and acting like said plant is dying. The culprit who knocked the plant pot over is none other than Cub and he somehow has a mischievous grin on his face.

Joe lets out a sigh and places down the merchandise he was restocking and heads over to deal with the situation and try to make Ren feel better by listening to his tales.

————3 am 12/29/XX————

“CLEO SPIT JEVIN OUT!”

Joe chases after the zombie wolf animatronic who has a skink animatronic in their mouth and is running towards the soda machines in the kitchens.

The other animatronics look up from their card game and watch as Joe chases Cleo to try and save Jevin from becoming more sticky.

Ren turns towards his friends, paw keeping the plant in a cup firmly and safely in place, to see what they’re thinking.

“You two are brewing up a plan aren’t you.”

Scar and Cub put on innocent looks as if they weren’t just planning to make the chaos worse.

“Noooo.”

Ren gives the two a look that he doesn’t believe them.

“Well I’ll just have to tell Ariana and watch Jellie for the night if you two cause chaos. Now let’s go back to our game my dudes.”

Ren doesn’t need to look up from his cards to see the scared looks on the mongoose and bear's faces.

“CLEO! NO!!”

The sound of something hitting the floor and screeching rings from the kitchen.

“Uno.”

“I thought we were playing poker?”

“….we aren’t playing Go Fish?”

————5am 12/29/XX————

“Andddd done. I got you as clean as possible Jevin. Geez you guys really need an upgrade to a more plastic or metal material instead of just fabric.”

Joe places the sponge back into the bucket and looks at the deactivated Skink.

“Right, forget I powered you off.”

Joe flips the switch located on Jevin’s back to power the animatronic back on.

It takes a moment but Jevin powers back on and looks at his clean or as clean as it can get fabric

He turns towards the security guard and gives him a thankful smile.

“Thanks dude. Sorry that you have to deal with cleaning me up every time that happens.”

Joe shakes his head and smiles.

“It’s no problem. Anyway, better start heading to the stage it is almost 6 am and the place will be opening soon.”

Jevin nods and heads towards his area where he is in stage mode during the day alongside a young animatronic turtle that was recently added to his area.

————6 am 12/29/XX————

Joe closes the front door as he leaves the pizzeria.

“Well that’s another day of working the night shift. Time to head home and try to get some sleep.”

As Joe leaves he doesn’t notice the set of eyes following him.

—————9 am 12/29/XX————

“Hello there everybody! Who’s ready to party!”

————————————

You can also find this one shot over on ao3

#hermitblr #hermitcraft #joe hills #zombie cleo #ijevin #goodtimeswithscar #cubfan135 #rendog #FNAF au

[girlwithfish]

hii hope this isn't weird but i saw all your posts about your partial hospitalization program and i might actually start going to one soon so i wanted to ask what an average day is like and what to expect ! hope your treatment is going well!!

hii! thank u ^-^ i know its scary i was vrery anxious to start but my first 3 days have been going pretty well!! it was overwhelming for me at first esp if ur not used to being in a group setting but the ppl in my group r pretty nice! and i really like most of the therapists on staff, i think this is important bc if u dont like them maybe itd be not as bearable or like a pleasant experience 😭 ofc everything im saying is specific to my program nd stuff so urs could be run different! but my php has around 6-7? ish therapists on staff and a different member leads group sessions thru out the day and they rotate, sometimes 2 therapists at once. and its a diff therapist on the schedule and not rly consistent idk how they determine that lol. but i rly get a lot out of each therapists insights and find the sessions to b pretty helpful. i treat it like school honestly where i try to be very active in listening the whole day and take in what theyre saying and take notes from discussions and anything that resonates with me. they give us a binder bc there r a lot of handouts and also give a journal so i use both a lot and treat it like a class. it can be comforting to be around other people who are in a similar place as u where they also had to go to a 6 hour a day program, makes u feel a little less lonely. my program is very dbt and cbt centered, w an emphasis on skills. we have a different topic each week, like last week was emotions and this week is connection & communication. they break up sessions into an hour each and we have an hour for lunch at 12. since its not a super long term thing, w a lot packed into the short term as they prepare u for IOP (intensive outpatient) its def overwhelming at times cuz ur at therapy for six hours a day for five days a week so im rly trying to try to find relaxation outside of therapy nd ways to unwind. theres around 12ish ppl in my group who ur with every day. everyone ur has a different care plan and schedule, w ppl moving down to IOP and usually at least one new person to a couple new ppl a day since ive been here. so the group ur w does change every day a little just bc everyones on a different track. we're assigned a therapist who u meet with once a week for 50min and also a psychiatrist who u also meet w once a week. therapists will pull u out of session to talk w u or go over safety plan n stuff. every morning they have u fill out a check in sheet with u assessing ur SUD (subjective units of distress) score, if ur having any thoughts of sh suicide or intents. asks u of an achievement ur proud of in the past 24 hrs, any notes for ur therapist, what skills uve used in the past day. we also have music therapist who comes in a couple days a week and yoga once a week. good luck!!! its a lot but uve got this! remember to take time for urself and unwind after therapy. if u have any other questions lmk i hope this helped!! genuinely the ppl on staff here r very nice so it definitely makes this place more pleasant for me and the content is very insightful. i like how things r run here and dont have many complaints. if ur looking into diff programs definitely check the reviews for the place on google or smth bc the place i go to i had a positive outlook toward when i was anticipating starting bc there were a lot of good reviews and ppl talking abt their positive experiences so i felt good abt it! wishing u the best ❤️🎀

[vicsy]

top 5 unpopular dynamics/ plot lines you secretly love! Tell me all your dirty secrets.

<3 ily

youuuu are EVIL ( i love you for it)

"i would kill for you" and actually kills for you. I love metaphors but sometimes we can have a lil violence as a treat. sometimes love is obsession etc and it erases the feasible lines of normality drawn on the sand. give me characters that aren't pristinely good, give me characters that are a bit insane.

i won't list by pairing but i'm awfully bad at seeing most of the sexual dynamics between characters change, so usually stick to what personally resonates with me?? if that makes sense. i promise i'm not narrow minded, i'm just rather particular of what i like ahahah

i fucking love me some "damsel in distress" kind of plot line. i don't think it is as popular as it was at some point but the "hero kink" in me demands something like this. i don't think every character should be always capable of handling themselves at all times. let them get hurt and then rescued by someone they can rely on. or by their worst enemy...

i would consider monster/human romance rather unpopular in some places (power dynamic etc etc) but YOU KNOW this is absolutely my jam. 24/7. I need it like air.

I don't mind a love triangle or a complicated relationship situation when it's executed in a certain (not very cheesy?) way. I like the rancidness, the fighting, the fact that it may never lead to a happy ending.

honorable mention.... i can't really give all of my cards away but there are things I'd like to explore though fic that go opposite of what is usually written in that particular trope. (hint: a/b/o). I shall keep some of my secrets...

I don't think it's as saucy as you thought it'd be ahaha but this is what I could think in the moment

#no00000000 #asks #ask game #shout out to that one half written ficlet in my notes app that had major character death but then I remembered who I am and changed it

[compassionatereminders]

Hey Kat! I’ve been struggling with this for a long time now, and I thought you’d be good to talk to about it.

I seem to have very, very high empathy and compassion, to the point where I can barely sit through hearing the news on the radio or TV – I just care too much about everyone and everything, and those rapid-fire stories of how much unjust suffering is still going on easily breaks me.

(My parents listen to the news often, I can’t really tell them not to for various reasons)

Every time, I wish I could not hear any of it, but it feels so disrespectful to feel that way – what gives me the right to ignore someone else’s struggle, one infinitely worse than anything I experience, for my own comfort? Why do I think I’m allowed to shut out things that affect real people, that will someday affect me, because I can’t handle knowing what real life is like? Even if I can’t materially help everyone, as I hear everywhere, educating myself is the least I could do, and I can’t even do that.

I know individual humans were never equipped to process such a vast scale of suffering, but it feels like a moral duty to do so anyway, to listen to everyone less fortunate than I, because that’s real life and I have to know it, I have to handle it, I can’t just back out and shut myself in the privileged life I have.

I feel so inadequate, weak, and selfish for being like this, and I’m pretty sure it’s not rational, but something keeps telling me it is and I’m lying to myself to avoid confronting the fact that I am actually a bad person.

I’d really appreciate any advice or support you might have.

In order to be able to do your part in making this world a better place, you need to avoid burnout and compassion fatigue. It is helping absolutely no one that you're watching the news till you're crying from secondhand distress, and it's very unlikely to make you more capable of doing your part. I can't watch the news either, so to educate myself I instead read audio books about various struggles and political issues on my own terms when I'm in the right mindset. And that's just one option. There are many ways to contribute and help, and immersing yourself in every horror going on in the world 24/7 is far from the most helpful one. Instead, find one cause that matters to you and do something in that area. For me, that's currently the online advocacy and encouragement I try to provide here on tumblr for fellow disabled people. It's not much, but it's something. And it matters. Because you can't save the entire world and care about every issue and placing that expectation on yourself doesn't help anyone. What helps is finding something you CAN do without burning out and doing that. That's the key here.

#chat with kat #politics tw #self hatred tw